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a_o sweet_a repose_n or_o sleep_v of_o all_o the_o power_n which_o be_v yet_o neither_o total_o lose_v nor_o yet_o do_v they_o know_v how_o they_o work_v this_o gust_n and_o delight_n and_o suavitie_n be_v great_a beyond_o all_o comparison_n than_o the_o former_a for_o the_o water_n of_o this_o grace_n gets-up_a to_o the_o very_a throat_n of_o the_o soul_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o now_o it_o can_v go_v forward_o nor_o know_v how_o to_o do_v it_o nor_o yet_o will_v by_o any_o mean_n return_v backward_o but_o enjoy_v a_o excessive_a kind_n of_o glory_n it_o be_v as_o when_o a_o man_n be_v already_o with_o the_o holy_a die_v candle_n in_o his_o hand_n so_o that_o now_o there_o want_v very_o little_a of_o die_v but_o it_o be_v of_o that_o very_a death_n which_o be_v desire_v for_o she_o be_v enjoy_v the_o great_a delight_n that_o can_v be_v imagine_v in_o that_o agony_n of_o she_o and_o i_o think_v it_o be_v no_o other_o thing_n then_o even_o to_o die_v as_o it_o be_v entire_o to_o all_o 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all_o tongue_n to_o praise_v our_o lord_n she_o utter_v a_o thousand_o holy_a impertinency_n but_o yet_o she_o do_v ever_o endeavour_v to_o hit_v right_a in_o please_v he_o who_o hold_v she_o there_o in_o that_o manner_n i_o know_v of_o a_o certain_a person_n who_o though_o she_o be_v no_o poet_n yet_o instant_o do_v she_o happen_v to_o make_v certain_a verse_n all_o extempore_o which_o be_v very_o significant_a in_o the_o way_n of_o complaint_n &_o declare_v her_o pain_n very_o well_o though_o they_o be_v not_o make_v by_o her_o own_o understanding_n alone_o but_o for_o the_o better_a enjoy_v that_o glory_n which_o give_v she_o so_o delightful_a a_o pain_n she_o complain_v thereof_o to_o her_o god_n she_o wish_v that_o she_o may_v be_v all_o tear_v in_o piece_n both_o in_o body_n and_o soul_n to_o show_v the_o joy_n she_o find_v to_o feel_v this_o pain_n what_o torment_n can_v then_o be_v set_v before_o she_o which_o then_o she_o will_v not_o be_v glad_a to_o endure_v for_o the_o 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o_o my_o king_n i_o most_o humble_o beseech_v and_o beg_v at_o thy_o hand_n that_o since_o when_o even_o now_o i_o be_o not_o whole_o out_o of_o this_o holy_a celestial_a frenzy_n or_o folly_n which_o through_o thy_o goodness_n and_o mercy_n and_o so_o whole_o without_o any_o merit_n of_o i_o thou_o do_v i_o the_o great_a favour_n to_o impart_v either_o all_o such_o person_n as_o with_o who_o i_o shall_v have_v occasion_n to_o converse_v may_v be_v even_o as_o it_o be_v mad_a fool_n for_o thy_o love_n or_o else_o dispose_v thou_o so_o of_o i_o as_o that_o
eat_v of_o it_o for_o just_a so_o do_v the_o soul_n not_o satisfy_v herself_o nor_o be_v content_a to_o feed_v upon_o the_o meat_n of_o this_o world_n because_o she_o find_v that_o in_o herself_o which_o give_v her_o satisfaction_n it_o be_v the_o far_o great_a contentment_n which_o she_o have_v in_o almighty_a god_n and_o her_o desire_n also_o be_v to_o satisfy_v even_o those_o desire_n of_o she_o and_o this_o be_v that_o which_o she_o procure_v there_o be_v also_o another_o kind_n of_o union_n which_o even_o yet_o be_v not_o so_o much_o as_o a_o absolute_a and_o entire_a union_n though_o it_o be_v great_a than_o that_o of_o which_o i_o be_v speak_v before_o and_o not_o altogether_o so_o great_a as_o that_o of_o this_o three_o water_n and_o your_o reverence_n will_v be_v very_o glad_a suppose_v that_o our_o lord_n bestow_v they_o all_o upon_o you_o if_o you_o have_v they_o not_o already_o to_o find_v it_o write_v thus_o and_o direct_o to_o understand_v what_o it_o be_v for_o it_o be_v 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those_o other_o be_v already_o even_o consume_v to_o dust_n and_o where_o have_v as_o it_o be_v even_o lose_v their_o natural_a be_v they_o be_v enjoy_v so_o great_a blessing_n in_o a_o supernatural_a kind_n in_o all_o these_o way_n of_o this_o last_o fountain-water_n whereof_o i_o have_v speak_v the_o peaceful_a rest_n and_o glory_n of_o the_o soul_n be_v so_o great_a that_o even_o the_o body_n do_v very_o manifest_o participate_v of_o that_o joy_n and_o delight_n i_o say_v it_o do_v so_o very_o manifest_o yea_o and_o the_o virtue_n also_o of_o the_o mind_n increase_n and_o grow_v strong_a as_o i_o have_v say_v
to_o this_o miserable_a and_o wretched_a creature_n as_o it_o be_v likely_a that_o there_o be_v many_o if_o they_o shall_v be_v please_v to_o treat_v of_o these_o thing_n with_o i_o as_o conceave_a that_o i_o be_o mistake_v and_o out_o of_o the_o way_n our_o lord_n will_v so_o assist_v this_o poor_a servant_n of_o he_o as_o that_o she_o may_v be_v able_a to_o go_v forward_o to_o uphold_v this_o truth_n but_o now_o to_o speak_v of_o this_o last_o water_n which_o come_v from_o heaven_n to_o satisfy_v and_o even_o fulfil_v the_o whole_a garden_n by_o the_o abundance_n thereof_o if_o our_o lord_n do_v never_o forbear_v to_o give_v it_o whensoever_o there_o be_v need_n it_o be_v evident_a enough_o already_o of_o what_o case_n it_o will_v be_v to_o the_o gardener_n and_o that_o there_o will_v never_o be_v any_o winter_n but_o always_o most_o temperate_a weather_n nor_o will_v there_o ever_o be_v any_o want_n either_o of_o fruit_n or_o flower_n and_o so_o it_o may_v be_v easy_o see_v in_o what_o delight_n he_o will_v remain_v but_o as_o long_o as_o we_o live_v in_o this_o world_n this_o condition_n be_v a_o kind_n of_o impossible_a thing_n and_o we_o must_v always_o be_v in_o care_n that_o whensoever_o we_o shall_v want_v one_o of_o the_o water_n we_o may_v procure_v another_o this_o last_o which_o fall_v from_o heaven_n come_v down_o sometime_o even_o when_o the_o gardener_n think_v of_o it_o least_o true_a it_o be_v that_o these_o thing_n be_v almost_o ever_o wont_a to_o happen_v after_o a_o long_a exercise_n of_o mental_a prayer_n for_o our_o lord_n use_v to_o come_v by_o degree_n to_o catch_v this_o poor_a little_a bird_n and_o to_o lodge_v it_o then_o safe_o in_o the_o nest_n to_o the_o end_n that_o it_o may_v rest_v and_o repose_v and_o after_o it_o have_v put_v itself_o long_o upon_o flight_n procure_v by_o the_o exercise_n of_o the_o understanding_n and_o will_v and_o in_o fine_a by_o all_o the_o power_n it_o have_v to_o go_v in_o search_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o to_o please_v he_o he_o vouchsafe_v to_o allow_v it_o a_o reward_n even_o in_o this_o life_n yea_o and_o this_o so_o very_o great_a a_o reward_n that_o any_o one_o little_a moment_n thereof_o may_v well_o suffice_v as_o a_o full_a satisfaction_n and_o retribution_n for_o all_o that_o care_n and_o trouble_v which_o he_o can_v ever_o have_v endure_v in_o this_o world_n the_o soul_n be_v thus_o in_o search_n of_o almighty_a god_n do_v find_v herself_o as_o it_o be_v even_o sink_v under_o a_o sweet_a and_o most_o excessive_a delight_n as_o be_v all_o in_o a_o certain_a way_n of_o dear_a faint_a so_o that_o the_o breath_n be_v even_o begin_v to_o fail_v and_o so_o also_o do_v all_o corporal_a strength_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o the_o creature_n be_v now_o not_o able_a so_o much_o as_o to_o move_v her_o hand_n but_o with_o much_o pain_n the_o eye_n be_v also_o close_v though_o without_o any_o purpose_n to_o shut_v they_o and_o when_o by_o accident_n they_o chance_v to_o be_v open_a she_o in_o effect_n see_v nothing_o distinct_o nor_o if_o she_o read_v can_v she_o so_o much_o as_o judge_v right_o of_o any_o letter_n nor_o can_v she_o even_o guess_v how_o to_o name_v it_o right_n she_o see_v that_o indeed_o there_o be_v letter_n but_o the_o understanding_n not_o give_v she_o any_o assistance_n she_o know_v not_o how_o to_o read_v though_o she_o will_v she_o hear_v but_o yet_o understand_v not_o what_o she_o hear_v so_o that_o she_o receave_v no_o other_o benefit_n at_o all_o by_o her_o sense_n but_o only_o that_o they_o will_v not_o permit_v she_o to_o take_v the_o full_a fruition_n of_o her_o delight_n and_o so_o upon_o the_o matter_n they_o do_v she_o more_o hurt_n then_o good_a as_o for_o speak_v it_o be_v a_o vanity_n so_o much_o as_o to_o think_v of_o any_o such_o thing_n for_o she_o can_v possible_o hit_v right_a so_o much_o as_o in_o frame_v any_o one_o word_n nor_o if_o she_o be_v able_a to_o judge_v it_o be_v she_o yet_o possible_o able_a to_o pronounce_v it_o in_o regard_n that_o all_o the_o strength_n of_o her_o body_n be_v absolute_o lose_v for_o the_o great_a increase_n of_o that_o of_o her_o soul_n that_o so_o she_o may_v the_o better_o enjoy_v her_o glory_n the_o exterior_a delight_n also_o which_o she_o feel_v be_v both_o great_a and_o very_o certain_a this_o prayer_n put_v the_o person_n to_o no_o manner_n of_o inconvenience_n in_o any_o kind_n how_o long_o soever_o it_o may_v last_v at_o least_o it_o never_o put_v i_o to_o any_o nor_o be_o i_o able_a to_o remember_v when_o our_o lord_n do_v i_o this_o favour_n how_o sick_a or_o weak_a soever_o i_o be_v that_o i_o ever_o find_v myself_o the_o worse_o but_o rather_o with_o much_o improvement_n even_o in_o the_o way_n of_o health_n but_o indeed_o what_o hurt_n can_v ever_o be_v do_v to_o any_o creature_n by_o so_o great_a a_o blessing_n as_o this_o it_o be_v so_o know_v a_o truth_n concern_v the_o exterior_a operation_n that_o there_o can_v no_o doubt_n be_v make_v but_o that_o there_o be_v natual_o great_a occasion_n for_o their_o alteration_n since_o our_o lord_n take_v all_o their_o strength_n from_o they_o though_o yet_o it_o be_v with_o so_o great_a delight_n that_o the_o same_o grow_v afterward_o to_o be_v great_a it_o be_v true_a that_o in_o the_o beginning_n this_o state_n and_o feeling_n be_v wont_a to_o pass_v away_o in_o very_o short_a time_n at_o least_o it_o happen_v so_o to_o i_o but_o as_o for_o these_o exterior_a sign_n as_o also_o in_o this_o fail_n of_o operation_n in_o the_o sense_n it_o be_v not_o so_o easy_o to_o be_v give_v to_o be_v understand_v when_o thing_n pass_v away_o in_o short_a time_n but_o yet_o they_o be_v discern_v with_o ease_n by_o the_o excess_n of_o the_o favour_n for_o the_o clearness_n and_o heat_n of_o the_o sun_n must_v needs_o have_v be_v then_o very_o great_a when_o all_o that_o which_o come_v in_o the_o way_n be_v so_o absolute_o melt_v and_o dissolve_v let_v this_o also_o be_v well_o note_v that_o in_o my_o opinion_n how_o long_o soever_o that_o space_n of_o time_n may_v seem_v to_o be_v wherein_o all_o the_o power_n of_o the_o soul_n be_v in_o suspense_n it_o must_v needs_o have_v be_v indeed_o very_o short_a and_o if_o it_o shall_v arrive_v to_o half_a a_o hour_n it_o be_v very_o much_o for_o my_o part_n i_o think_v i_o be_v never_o so_o long_o true_a it_o be_v that_o one_o can_v hardly_o judge_v how_o long_o they_o be_v since_o the_o party_n be_v deprive_v of_o outward_a sense_n but_o i_o say_v that_o it_o must_v needs_o be_v a_o very_a short_a time_n wherein_o no_o one_o of_o the_o power_n can_v be_v able_a to_o return_v again_o to_o itself_o but_o now_o the_o will_n be_v indeed_o the_o only_o power_n which_o maintain_v the_o work_n for_o as_o for_o the_o other_o two_o they_o quick_o become_v importunate_a upon_o she_o yet_o the_o will_n remain_v quiet_a and_o fix_v suspend_v they_o yet_o again_o and_o so_o they_o stay_v another_o little_a while_n and_o afterward_o return_v to_o live_v as_o before_o in_o this_o manner_n some_o whole_a hour_n of_o prayer_n may_v be_v pass_v yea_o and_o sometime_o they_o be_v pass_v so_o for_o when_o the_o two_o power_n of_o the_o soul_n have_v taste_v of_o that_o celestial_a wine_n and_o begin_v to_o be_v inebriate_v with_o it_o they_o easy_o be_v induce_v to_o loose_v themselves_o once_o again_o so_o to_o get_v still_o the_o more_o by_o the_o bargain_n and_o so_o they_o go_v to_o accompany_v the_o will_n and_o all_o three_o come_v to_o be_v in_o the_o act_n of_o enjoy_v but_o this_o point_n of_o be_v total_o lose_v and_o so_o without_o frame_v any_o imagination_n at_o all_o which_o power_n in_o my_o way_n of_o understanding_n be_v also_o whole_o lose_v i_o say_v last_v but_o a_o very_a little_a time_n though_o yet_o they_o come_v not_o always_o so_o whole_o to_o themselves_o upon_o a_o sudden_a but_o that_o they_o may_v remain_v even_o some_o hour_n as_o in_o a_o kind_n of_o be_v still_o a_o little_a out_o of_o the_o way_n and_o in_o disorder_n almighty_a god_n vouchsafe_v to_o recollect_v they_o again_o to_o himself_o by_o little_a and_o little_a and_o now_o let_v we_o come_v to_o the_o interior_a of_o that_o which_o the_o soul_n be_v wont_a to_o feel_v at_o these_o time_n and_o let_v they_o declare_v it_o who_o know_v how_o since_o it_o can_v be_v well_o understand_v and_o much_o less_o express_v i_o be_v think_v when_o i_o dispose_v myself_o to_o write_v this_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o have_v receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n and_o after_o the_o end_n of_o this_o very_a kind_n of_o prayer_n which_o now_o i_o write_v of_o what_o the_o
stiff_a that_o i_o can_v possible_o sometime_o bring_v they_o together_o and_o so_o the_o pain_n remain_v till_o the_o next_o day_n after_o in_o my_o wrist_n and_o in_o my_o body_n in_o such_o a_o manner_n that_o it_o seem_v as_o if_o i_o be_v even_o rack_v and_o disjoint_v and_o i_o be_o sometime_o conceave_a that_o our_o lord_n may_v one_o day_n perhaps_o think_v fit_a in_o case_n this_o course_n go_v on_o to_o make_v it_o end_n with_o the_o very_a end_n of_o my_o life_n for_o so_o great_a a_o torment_n as_o this_o may_v well_o in_o my_o opinion_n be_v sufficient_a for_o so_o great_a a_o effect_n as_o that_o save_v only_o that_o i_o deserve_v not_o to_o be_v so_o happy_a all_o the_o anxiety_n of_o my_o desire_n consist_v at_o this_o time_n that_o i_o may_v die_v for_o i_o neither_o remember_v purgatory_n nor_o yet_o those_o great_a sin_n which_o i_o have_v commit_v for_o which_o i_o deserve_v hellfire_n but_o all_o be_v now_o forget_v through_o that_o anxiety_n of_o desire_n and_o appetite_n to_o see_v almighty_a god_n yea_o and_o that_o vast_a solitude_n and_o desert_n wherein_o i_o be_o at_o that_o time_n seem_v a_o much_o more_o desirable_a thing_n than_o all_o the_o sweet_a society_n of_o this_o world_n if_o any_o thing_n be_v of_o power_n to_o give_v her_o comfort_n in_o this_o case_n it_o will_v be_v that_o she_o may_v be_v able_a to_o treat_v with_o some_o one_o who_o have_v endure_v the_o same_o torment_n for_o now_o though_o she_o complain_v thereof_o it_o seem_v that_o no_o creature_n can_v tell_v how_o to_o believe_v she_o it_o also_o contribute_v to_o her_o torment_n that_o this_o pain_n be_v so_o extreme_a that_o she_o will_v feign_v neither_o be_v in_o solitude_n nor_o yet_o have_v company_n as_o other_o have_v but_o only_o to_o have_v the_o society_n of_o some_o such_o person_n as_o to_o who_o she_o may_v be_v able_a to_o make_v her_o complaint_n it_o be_v with_o she_o in_o in_o this_o case_n as_o with_o one_o who_o even_o have_v the_o halter_n about_o his_o neck_n and_o who_o whilst_o he_o be_v even_o strangle_v endeavour_n and_o will_v fain_o take_v his_o breath_n for_o just_a so_o i_o think_v do_v this_o inclination_n to_o have_v company_n seem_v to_o be_v a_o effect_n of_o our_o natural_a frailty_n and_o weakness_n that_o as_o this_o excessive_a pain_n seem_v to_o put_v we_o to_o imminent_a danger_n of_o death_n for_o it_o be_v certain_a that_o it_o do_v all_o this_o and_o i_o have_v see_v myself_o diverse_a time_n in_o this_o danger_n through_o my_o great_a sickness_n and_o other_o occasion_n as_o i_o have_v declare_v and_o i_o will_v believe_v that_o this_o may_v perhaps_o prove_v to_o be_v as_o great_a as_o any_o of_o the_o rest_n so_o the_o desire_n and_o inclination_n which_o both_o the_o body_n and_o soul_n have_v not_o to_o be_v part_v be_v that_o which_o seek_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o succour_n as_o to_o take_v breath_n and_o by_o express_v itself_o and_o divert_v and_o complain_v seek_v yet_o for_o some_o mean_n how_o to_o live_v again_o here_o below_o though_o still_o much_o against_o the_o will_n of_o the_o spirit_n or_o superior_a part_n of_o the_o soul_n which_o will_v fain_o not_o be_v quit_v of_o this_o pain_n i_o know_v not_o whether_o i_o hit_v right_a in_o what_o i_o say_v or_o if_o i_o know_v indeed_o how_o to_o do_v it_o but_o to_o the_o uttermost_a and_o best_a of_o my_o opinion_n it_o pass_v just_a thus_o as_o i_o have_v declare_v and_o now_o your_o reverence_n shall_v do_v well_o to_o consider_v what_o kind_n of_o rest_n or_o ease_n it_o be_v possible_a for_o i_o to_o enjoy_v in_o this_o life_n since_o that_o which_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o find_v by_o mean_n of_o solitude_n and_o prayer_n for_o therein_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o great_a consolation_n be_v now_o most_o usual_o convert_v into_o this_o torment_n which_o yet_o withal_o be_v so_o delicious_a a_o kind_n of_o thing_n and_o the_o soul_n perceive_v it_o to_o be_v of_o so_o high_a value_n that_o now_o she_o delight_v in_o it_o more_o then_o in_o all_o those_o other_o regalo_n which_o she_o be_v ever_o wont_a to_o possess_v for_o she_o hold_v it_o to_o be_v more_o secure_a as_o be_v the_o way_n of_o the_o cross_n and_o it_o give_v also_o in_o my_o opinion_n a_o gust_n which_o be_v of_o mighty_a worth_n for_o she_o allow_v nothing_o at_o all_o to_o the_o body_n but_o pain_n and_o the_o soul_n be_v that_o which_o original_o suffer_v and_o do_v only_o feel_v that_o joy_n and_o high_a contentment_n which_o this_o very_a suffering_n give_v she_o i_o know_v not_o how_o all_o this_o can_v be_v but_o yet_o it_o pass_v so_o in_o very_a truth_n that_o forasmuch_o as_o i_o can_v understand_v of_o myself_o i_o will_v not_o change_v this_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n do_v i_o and_o which_o proceed_v as_o i_o have_v say_v from_o his_o hand_n and_o be_v no_o way_n acquire_v by_o i_o as_o be_v whole_o supernatural_a in_o itself_o for_o all_o those_o other_o which_o i_o i_o shall_v here_o declare_v 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have_v former_o be_v please_v to_o vouchsafe_v i_o because_o the_o soul_n be_v purify_v by_o this_o pain_n and_o for_o that_o it_o be_v burnish_v &_o refine_v here_o as_o gold_n may_v be_v in_o the_o chrysuble_a that_o so_o it_o may_v be_v the_o more_o capable_a to_o receive_v those_o enamel_n and_o ornament_n of_o his_o gift_n and_o grace_n and_o that_o so_o that_o be_v to_o be_v wipe_v away_o which_o will_v otherwise_o have_v make_v work_n for_o purgatory_n i_o understand_v very_o well_o even_o before_o that_o this_o be_v a_o great_a favour_n but_o yet_o i_o remain_v with_o much_o more_o security_n after_o this_o and_o my_o ghostly_a father_n also_o tell_v i_o that_o it_o be_v good_a and_o though_o i_o be_v former_o afraid_a yet_o because_o i_o be_o so_o wicked_a i_o can_v never_o bring_v myself_o to_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v ill_a but_o rather_o the_o very_a greatness_n itself_o of_o the_o benefit_n give_v i_o a_o kind_n of_o fear_n when_o i_o remember_v how_o very_o far_o i_o 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by_o those_o beam_n you_o will_v find_v it_o to_o be_v all_o full_a of_o moat_n this_o comparison_n be_v very_o literal_o true_a for_o before_o the_o soul_n be_v in_o this_o extasis_fw-la she_o conceive_v herself_o to_o have_v be_v very_o careful_a not_o to_o offend_v almighty_a god_n &_o that_o she_o perform_v it_o according_a to_o the_o uttermost_a of_o her_o power_n but_o yet_o be_v come_v once_o so_o far_o as_o that_o this_o sun_n of_o justice_n shine_v upon_o she_o which_o make_v her_o open_a her_o eye_n she_o than_o see_v so_o many_o moat_n therein_o that_o she_o will_v be_v glad_a if_o she_o can_v tell_v how_o to_o shut_v they_o again_o for_o she_o be_v not_o yet_o become_v so_o true_a a_o eaglet_n of_o this_o swift_a and_o strong_a eagle_n which_o breed_v she_o as_o that_o she_o can_v be_v able_a to_o look_v earnest_o upon_o this_o sun_n but_o how_o little_a soever_o she_o chance_v to_o hold_v they_o open_a she_o see_v herself_o all_o impure_a and_o call_v that_o verse_n to_o mind_n which_o say_v who_o shall_v ever_o be_v just_a in_o thy_o presence_n when_o once_o she_o behold_v this_o divine_a sun_n her_o sight_n be_v dazzle_v by_o the_o brightness_n of_o it_o but_o when_o she_o look_v in_o upon_o herself_o her_o eye_n be_v stop_v up_o with_o clay_n and_o so_o this_o poor_a dove_n be_v blind_a yea_o and_o it_o happen_v many_o time_n that_o she_o also_o remain_v blind_a for_o good_a and_o all_o as_o be_v absorb_v amaze_a and_o as_o it_o be_v out_o of_o her_o wit_n with_o so_o many_o mighty_a greatness_n as_o she_o be_v then_o grow_v to_o see_v heer_n final_o be_v true_a humility_n acquire_v not_o care_v any_o way_n at_o all_o either_o to_o speak_v well_o of_o herself_o or_o yet_o that_o other_o shall_v do_v it_o and_o our_o lord_n divide_v and_o dispose_v of_o the_o fruit_n of_o this_o garden_n not_o she_o and_o so_o there_o stick_v nothing_o of_o it_o to_o her_o finger_n all_o the_o good_a which_o she_o have_v go_v on_o as_o still_o address_v to_o 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be_v here_o no_o more_o now_o any_o need_n that_o the_o soul_n shall_v give_v any_o new_a consent_n since_o already_o she_o have_v give_v it_o all_o and_o know_v that_o she_o have_v voluntary_o deliver_v herself_o whole_o up_o into_o his_o hand_n and_o that_o she_o can_v deceive_v he_o who_o be_v the_o knower_n of_o all_o thing_n for_o it_o be_v not_o as_o thing_n pass_v here_o in_o this_o world_n where_o all_o this_o life_n of_o we_o be_v full_a of_o nothing_o but_o duplicity_n and_o deceit_n and_o when_o you_o think_v you_o have_v full_o get_v the_o good_a will_n of_o any_o creature_n by_o the_o show_n he_o make_v you_o quick_o come_v to_o understand_v that_o all_o be_v trick_n and_o lie_v and_o that_o no_o body_n can_v tell_v how_o to_o live_v in_o a_o world_n of_o so_o much_o odd_a business_n especial_o if_o there_o be_v any_o little_a interest_n of_o the_o party_n but_o bless_a be_v that_o soul_n which_o our_o lord_n come_v once_o to_o draw_v to_o the_o knowledge_n of_o such_o 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have_v any_o experience_n will_v find_v that_o every_o word_n of_o this_o which_o i_o have_v say_v be_v literal_o certain_a and_o i_o bless_v almighty_a god_n for_o enable_v i_o to_o declare_v it_o as_o i_o have_v do_v and_o now_o i_o end_v this_o part_n of_o the_o discourse_n with_o say_v that_o i_o think_v when_o such_o word_n proceed_v from_o our_o own_o understanding_n we_o may_v easy_o come_v to_o know_v it_o if_o we_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o it_o and_o every_o time_n that_o we_o be_v in_o prayer_n we_o shall_v conceive_v that_o we_o understand_v they_o but_o in_o this_o other_o kind_n of_o word_n or_o speech_n it_o be_v not_o so_o for_o it_o will_v be_v many_o day_n wherein_o though_o i_o shall_v desire_v to_o understand_v somewhat_o of_o that_o kind_n it_o will_v be_v absolute_o impossible_a and_o when_o at_o other_o time_n i_o have_v no_o thought_n that_o way_n i_o must_v yet_o understand_v it_o as_o i_o have_v say_v and_o i_o think_v that_o whosoever_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o 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say_a church_n but_o if_o she_o once_o come_v so_o far_o as_o but_o to_o shake_v or_o waver_v even_o in_o one_o single_a thought_n against_o this_o or_o entertain_v herself_o so_o far_o as_o to_o say_v but_o now_o if_o god_n himself_o say_v thus_o to_o i_o as_o he_o have_v say_v such_o other_o thing_n to_o saint_n this_o may_v also_o be_v true_a i_o say_v not_o that_o she_o believe_v it_o but_o that_o the_o devil_n begin_v to_o tempt_v she_o by_o this_o motion_n and_o that_o she_o be_v content_a to_o continue_v herself_o a_o little_a therein_o a_o body_n may_v see_v already_o that_o this_o be_v stark_o naught_o but_o for_o my_o part_n i_o believe_v that_o many_o time_n even_o these_o other_o first_o motion_n will_v hardly_o ever_o come_v so_o far_o as_o even_o but_o to_o set_v upon_o such_o a_o soul_n if_o she_o be_v already_o so_o strong_a as_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v wont_a to_o have_v make_v such_o as_o to_o who_o he_o use_v to_o impart_v these_o favour_n for_o i_o think_v she_o may_v be_v able_a to_o tear_v those_o devil_n even_o to_o fitter_n whensoever_o there_o may_v be_v question_n of_o any_o one_o single_a little_a truth_n which_o the_o church_n hold_v i_o say_v that_o if_o the_o soul_n do_v not_o find_v such_o a_o strength_n as_o this_o in_o herself_o and_o that_o the_o devotion_n or_o vision_n which_o she_o have_v do_v not_o assist_v and_o help_v her-on_a therein_o let_v she_o not_o hold_v any_o such_o vision_n for_o safe_a because_o though_o the_o hurt_n of_o it_o be_v not_o instant_o understand_v it_o may_v perhaps_o grow_v by_o little_a and_o little_a to_o be_v great_a for_o to_o the_o uttermost_a of_o what_o i_o can_v discern_v and_o know_v by_o experience_n the_o reputation_n and_o credit_n that_o such_o a_o thing_n be_v of_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n be_v settle_v and_o assure_v in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o it_o also_o go_v in_o conformity_n to_o holy_a scripture_n and_o when_o it_o shall_v be_v find_v to_o vary_v from_o this_o rule_n though_o it_o be_v never_o so_o little_a i_o think_v i_o shall_v be_v then_o much_o more_o sure_a without_o comparison_n that_o it_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n than_o now_o i_o have_v assurance_n that_o it_o be_v of_o almighty_a god_n how_o great_a soever_o i_o may_v find_v that_o assurance_n to_o be_v for_o in_o that_o case_n we_o shall_v have_v no_o need_n at_o all_o to_o go_v in_o search_n after_o sign_n nor_o to_o inquire_v of_o what_o spirit_n it_o be_v since_o this_o be_v so_o clear_a a_o sign_n to_o make_v we_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n that_o if_o all_o the_o world_n shall_v endeavour_v to_o assure_v i_o that_o it_o be_v of_o god_n i_o will_v not_o believe_v it_o
away_o as_o much_o as_o it_o have_v touch_v within_o i_o and_o leave_v all_o that_o which_o remain_v whole_o inflame_v with_o a_o great_a love_n of_o almighty_a god_n the_o pain_n of_o it_o be_v so_o excessive_a that_o it_o force_v i_o to_o utter_v those_o groan_n and_o the_o suavitie_n which_o that_o extremity_n of_o pain_n give_v be_v also_o so_o very_o excessive_a that_o there_o be_v no_o desire_v at_o all_o to_o be_v ride_v of_o it_o nor_o can_v the_o soul_n then_o receive_v any_o contentment_n at_o all_o in_o less_o than_o god_n almighty_a himself_o this_o be_v no_o corporal_n but_o a_o spiritual_a pain_n though_o yet_o the_o body_n do_v not_o fail_v to_o participate_v some_o part_n thereof_o yea_o and_o that_o not_o a_o little_a and_o it_o be_v such_o a_o dear_a delightful_a kind_n of_o intercourse_n which_o pass_v here_o between_o the_o soul_n and_o almighty_a god_n as_o i_o beseech_v he_o of_o his_o infinite_a goodness_n that_o he_o will_v give_v some_o touch_n or_o taste_v of_o it_o to_o whosoever_o shall_v believe_v that_o i_o lie_v during_o the_o time_n when_o i_o be_v in_o this_o state_n i_o go_v up_o and_o down_o that_o world_n like_o a_o odd_a kind_n of_o transport_a fool_n neither_o care_v i_o either_o to_o see_v any_o thing_n or_o to_o speak_v but_o content_v myself_o to_o consume_v with_o burning-up_a in_o my_o pain_n which_o be_v to_o be_v the_o great_a glory_n for_o i_o that_o this_o whole_a world_n can_v afford_v in_o this_o state_n be_v i_o now_o and_o then_o when_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v that_o these_o so_o very_o great_a rapt_n shall_v come_v upon_o i_o which_o i_o be_v not_o able_a sometime_o to_o resist_v even_o when_o i_o be_v in_o presence_n of_o secular_a people_n and_o so_o they_o grow_v to_o be_v public_a and_o this_o give_v i_o a_o very_a great_a deal_n of_o trouble_n but_o since_o the_o time_n that_o i_o be_o grow_v to_o have_v these_o rapt_n i_o feel_v not_o this_o pain_n so_o much_o as_o that_o other_o whereof_o i_o 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glorious_a s._n francis_n to_o the_o place_n where_o she_o be_v and_o she_o declare_v the_o great_a temptation_n and_o inward_a trouble_n which_o sometime_o she_o endure_v but_o now_o when_o i_o come_v to_o observe_v the_o little_a or_o nothing_o which_o i_o be_v able_a to_o effect_v towards_o the_o endure_a of_o those_o so_o great_a impulse_n or_o impetuosity_n whereof_o i_o be_v speak_v i_o grow_v to_o be_v in_o great_a fear_n of_o have_v they_o for_o it_o be_v pass_v any_o power_n of_o i_o to_o understand_v how_o pain_n and_o joy_n may_v be_v possible_o able_a to_o consist_v together_o that_o corporal_a pain_n and_o spiritual_a joy_n can_v be_v compatible_a i_o know_v well_o may_v be_v possible_a enough_o but_o that_o so_o excessive_a a_o spiritual_a pain_n shall_v be_v compatible_a with_o so_o excessive_a a_o spiritual_a gust_n do_v put_v i_o half_o as_o it_o be_v out_o of_o my_o wit_n and_o still_o i_o do_v not_o give-ove_a to_o procure_v to_o resist_v the_o arrival_n thereof_o though_o yet_o i_o have_v so_o little_a power_n that_o way_n that_o sometime_o i_o grow_v weary_a even_o of_o the_o endeavour_n i_o defend_v myself_o by_o the_o cross_n and_o so_o procure_v to_o help_v myself_o by_o that_o mean_n from_o he_o who_o give_v we_o all_o defence_n and_o succour_n by_o the_o same_o cross_n i_o see_v that_o no_o creature_n understand_v i_o and_o this_o i_o understand_v very_o clear_o though_o yet_o i_o dare_v not_o say_v so_o to_o any_o body_n but_o my_o ghostly_a father_n for_o that_o indeed_o may_v have_v authorise_v they_o to_o say_v true_o that_o i_o want_v humility_n but_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v to_o recover_v i_o from_o a_o great_a part_n of_o my_o trouble_n yea_o and_o even_o at_o that_o time_n from_o it_o all_o by_o bring_v that_o bless_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n thither_o of_o who_o i_o make_v mention_v before_o when_o i_o speak_v somewhat_o of_o his_o great_a penance_n and_o now_o i_o also_o remember_v that_o among_o other_o thing_n i_o have_v be_v inform_v that_o for_o twenty_o year_n together_o he_o have_v wear_v upon_o his_o bare_a body_n a_o certain_a garment_n of_o latin_a in_o form_n of_o a_o hair_n cloth_n this_o man_n be_v the_o author_n of_o certain_a little_a treatise_n concern_v prayer_n write_v in_o spanish_a and_o they_o be_v now_o in_o the_o hand_n of_o many_o for_o he_o as_o be_v a_o person_n who_o have_v accustom_v himself_o much_o to_o that_o holy_a exercise_n write_v very_o profitable_o thereof_o for_o they_o who_o live_v in_o the_o observance_n of_o the_o first_o rule_n of_o the_o bless_a s._n francis_n according_a to_o the_o full_a rigour_n of_o the_o same_o when_o therefore_o a_o certain_a widow_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v else_o where_o who_o be_v a_o great_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o a_o particular_a friend_n of_o i_o come_v to_o know_v that_o so_o great_a a_o man_n be_v there_o with_o i_o and_o know_v also_o the_o great_a necessity_n wherein_o i_o be_v as_o have_v be_v the_o witness_n of_o my_o affliction_n and_o have_v comfort_v i_o in_o several_a occasion_n for_o her_o faith_n be_v ever_o so_o great_a that_o she_o can_v never_o in_o fine_a believe_v but_o that_o it_o be_v the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n which_o all_o the_o rest_n will_v needs_o have_v to_o be_v the_o devil_n and_o consider_v also_o that_o she_o be_v a_o person_n of_o very_a good_a understanding_n and_o of_o great_a secrecy_n withal_o and_o one_o to_o who_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o do_v great_a favour_n in_o prayer_n his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o give_v her_o knowledge_n of_o those_o thing_n whereof_o they_o who_o be_v learned_a be_v whole_o ignorant_a my_o ghostly_a father_n than_o give_v i_o leave_v that_o i_o may_v ease_v myself_o in_o some_o thing_n with_o she_o for_o she_o be_v capable_a many_o way_n to_o understand_v they_o for_o sometime_o it_o have_v come_v to_o her_o turn_n to_o enjoy_v even_o some_o of_o those_o very_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v also_o vouchsafe_v to_o afford_v i_o together_o with_o certain_a advertisment_n which_o he_o have_v also_o give_v she_o for_o the_o good_a of_o her_o soul_n but_o now_o as_o soon_o as_o fray_n pedro_n come_v to_o know_v of_o my_o design_n he_o do_v without_o say_v any_o thing_n to_o i_o desire_v and_o get_v leave_v of_o my_o provincial_n that_o i_o may_v remain_v with_o she_o in_o her_o house_n for_o a_o matter_n of_o some_o eight_o day_n and_o so_o both_o there_o and_o in_o several_a church_n i_o speak_v with_o he_o diverse_a time_n in_o that_o first_o occasion_n of_o my_o be_v there_o for_o i_o communicate_v my_o affair_n with_o he_o also_o afterward_o in_o sundry_a occasion_n at_o which_o time_n i_o give_v he_o likewise_o account_v of_o my_o life_n though_o yet_o but_o in_o a_o summarie_a way_n and_o of_o the_o manner_n of_o my_o proceed_n in_o prayer_n and_o this_o with_o the_o great_a claritie_n which_o i_o can_v possible_o use_v for_o this_o property_n i_o ever_o have_v to_o treat_v with_o all_o claritie_n and_o truth_n with_o they_o to_o who_o i_o impart_v my_o soul_n yea_o and_o i_o still_o desire_v that_o even_o the_o first_o motion_n of_o my_o hart_n may_v be_v make_v know_v to_o they_o and_o as_o for_o such_o thing_n as_o may_v be_v subject_a any_o way_n to_o suspicion_n or_o doubt_v i_o still_o be_v wont_a to_o argue_v they_o proceed_v against_o myself_o with_o the_o strong_a reason_n that_o i_o can_v bring_v so_o that_o i_o impart_v my_o soul_n to_o this_o father_n without_o any_o manner_n of_o duplicitie_n or_o disguise_n at_o all_o and_o i_o find_v that_o he_o understand_v i_o almost_o even_o at_o
be_v never_o so_o much_o alone_o though_o yet_o i_o feel_v still_o that_o i_o know_v there_o be_v a_o god_n and_o i_o find_v also_o that_o it_o be_v my_o imagination_n and_o my_o understanding_n which_o do_v i_o so_o much_o hurt_v in_o these_o occasion_n and_o cafe_v for_o as_o for_o my_o will_n i_o think_v it_o stand_v right_a in_o i_o and_o that_o it_o be_v dispose_v to_o all_o goodness_n but_o this_o understanding_n of_o i_o be_v so_o entire_o lose_v that_o it_o seem_v to_o be_v no_o other_o thing_n than_o some_o furious_a and_o mad_a kind_n of_o fool_n who_o no_o body_n be_v able_a to_o bind_v nor_o be_o i_o so_o far_a mistress_n thereof_o as_o that_o i_o can_v make_v it_o quiet_a for_o one_o credo_fw-la sometime_o i_o fall_v on_o laugh_v and_o yet_o then_o do_v i_o know_v my_o misery_n and_o stand_v look_v upon_o my_o soul_n and_o permit_v she_o to_o do_v what_o she_o will_v and_o yet_o our_o lord_n be_v thank_v she_o never_o by_o any_o mean_n apply_v herself_o to_o any_o thing_n which_o be_v ill_a but_o only_o about_o thing_n which_o be_v indifferent_a if_o there_o be_v any_o thing_n which_o may_v occur_v to_o be_v do_v either_o here_o or_o there_o or_o any_o where_o else_o but_o thus_o i_o come_v to_o know_v better_o the_o incomparable_a mercy_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o upon_o his_o tying-up_a this_o mad_a fool_n when_o we_o be_v in_o perfect_a contemplation_n and_o here_o i_o consider_v what_o will_v become_v of_o i_o if_o such_o person_n as_o hold_v i_o now_o for_o good_a can_v discern_v i_o to_o have_v these_o idleness_n and_o impertinency_n which_o i_o have_v describe_v here_o but_o now_o i_o have_v very_o great_a compassion_n of_o a_o soul_n to_o find_v she_o in_o so_o ill_a company_n as_o this_o i_o will_v fain_o see_v she_o rather_o in_o liberty_n and_o i_o express_v myself_o in_o this_o manner_n to_o our_o bless_a lord_n when_o o_o my_o god_n shall_v i_o arrive_v to_o see_v my_o soul_n all_o conjoin_a and_o unite_v together_o in_o celebrate_v thy_o praise_n that_o so_o all_o the_o power_n thereof_o may_v admire_v thou_o permit_v not_o heerafrer_n o_o lord_n that_o she_o wander_v up_o and_o down_o by_o piece_n for_o now_o it_o seem_v no_o otherwise_o then_o as_o if_o every_o one_o of_o the_o same_o power_n be_v run_v up_o and_o down_o in_o a_o several_a way_n these_o thing_n pass_v thus_o very_o often_o and_o i_o understand_v also_o very_o well_o that_o sometime_o the_o little_a corporal_a health_n i_o have_v contribute_v much_o to_o these_o inconvenience_n i_o also_o reflect_v much_o by_o these_o occasion_n upon_o the_o hurt_n which_o the_o sin_n of_o our_o first_o parent_n have_v do_v we_o for_o i_o think_v it_o be_v grow_v from_o thence_o that_o we_o be_v incapable_a to_o enjoy_v so_o great_a a_o good_a and_o my_o own_o sin_n be_v a_o great_a part_n of_o the_o cause_n for_o certain_o if_o i_o have_v not_o commit_v so_o many_o i_o shall_v have_v remain_v more_o entire_a and_o free_a towards_o the_o do_n of_o good_a i_o be_v subject_a also_o by_o time_n to_o another_o very_a great_a inconvenience_n for_o conceave_a that_o i_o understand_v all_o the_o book_n that_o treat_v of_o prayer_n which_o i_o come_v to_o read_v and_o that_o already_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v do_v i_o some_o such_o kind_n of_o favour_n as_o that_o i_o need_v they_o not_o for_o this_o reason_n i_o do_v not_o read_v they_o but_o apply_v myself_o to_o read_v the_o live_v of_o saint_n and_o find_v myself_o also_o very_o short_a in_o that_o wherein_o they_o have_v so_o heroical_o serve_v almighty_a god_n this_o seem_v to_o do_v i_o good_a and_o give_v i_o strength_n but_o yet_o i_o think_v this_o be_v a_o sign_n of_o little_a humility_n for_o i_o to_o think_v that_o i_o be_v already_o arrive_v to_o hold_v that_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o not_o be_v able_a to_o quiet_v myself_o otherwise_o i_o continue_v much_o in_o pain_n till_o certain_a learned_a man_n and_o particular_o that_o bless_a creature_n fray_n pedro_fw-la de_fw-fr alcantara_n declare_v to_o i_o that_o i_o be_v not_o to_o be_v trouble_v at_o that_o i_o be_o not_o ignorant_a that_o in_o the_o serve_v of_o almighty_a god_n i_o have_v not_o yet_o so_o much_o as_o begin_v though_o yet_o the_o way_n which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v hold_v in_o do_v i_o favour_n be_v the_o same_o which_o he_o have_v use_v towards_o such_o as_o be_v good_a whereas_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o no_o more_o than_o a_o direct_a downright_a mere_a imperfection_n unless_o it_o be_v in_o my_o desire_n to_o love_v he_o for_o in_o this_o indeed_o i_o see_v well_o that_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v i_o favour_n that_o so_o i_o may_v perform_v some_o little_a thing_n for_o he_o i_o confess_v i_o think_v i_o love_v he_o but_o my_o action_n and_o the_o many_o imperfection_n which_o i_o discern_v therein_o give_v i_o great_a discomfort_n at_o other_o time_n my_o soul_n fall_v into_o a_o kind_n of_o foolery_n for_o so_o it_o be_v when_o i_o think_v i_o do_v neither_o good_a nor_o ill_a but_o follow_v on_o after_o the_o walk_n of_o other_o folk_n and_o this_o neither_o with_o pain_n nor_o glory_n nor_o with_o thought_n of_o life_n or_o death_n nor_o gust_n nor_o trouble_n yea_o i_o think_v she_o feel_v nothing_o at_o all_o but_o rather_o seem_v to_o i_o to_o walk_v on_o like_o some_o little_a ass_n who_o seed_n and_o sustain_v himself_o because_o they_o give_v he_o somewhat_o to_o eat_v and_o he_o eat_v almost_o without_o think_v what_o he_o be_v do_v for_o the_o soul_n when_o she_o be_v in_o this_o state_n be_v not_o likely_a to_o be_v without_o feed_v upon_o some_o great_a favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n since_o she_o be_v not_o trouble_v with_o live_v in_o so_o miserable_a a_o life_n as_o this_o but_o pass_v through_o it_o with_o patience_n and_o equality_n of_o mind_n but_o yet_o these_o motion_n and_o effect_n be_v not_o find_v by_o she_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o the_o soul_n be_v make_v to_o understand_v herself_o by_o they_o it_o seem_v now_o also_o to_o i_o to_o be_v as_o when_o man_n sail_v at_o sea_n by_o the_o breath_n of_o a_o sweet_a and_o gentle_a wind_n for_o then_o we_o ride_v much_o way_n though_o we_o scarce_o know_v how_o whereas_o in_o those_o other_o condition_n the_o effect_n be_v so_o very_o great_a that_o the_o soul_n do_v almost_o instant_o discern_v she_o own_o improvement_n for_o instant_o do_v her_o desire_n boil_v up_o and_o the_o soul_n can_v never_o satisfy_v herself_o but_o they_o to_o who_o almighty_a god_n impart_v such_o impetuosity_n of_o love_n do_v find_v such_o operation_n as_o these_o this_o be_v like_o certain_a little_a spring_n which_o i_o have_v observe_v to_o rise_v and_o where_o the_o sand_n never_o cease_v to_o move_v upward_o and_o this_o example_n and_o comparison_n of_o soul_n which_o be_v arrive_v to_o this_o state_n seem_v very_o natural_a to_o i_o for_o love_n will_v be_v ever_o boil_v upward_o and_o consider_v and_o devise_v about_o what_o it_o may_v be_v able_a to_o do_v and_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n be_v contain_v in_o itself_o as_o it_o seem_v the_o water_n whereof_o i_o speak_v be_v not_o able_a to_o continue_v in_o the_o earth_n which_o still_o be_v cast_v it_o up_o from_o thence_o and_o just_o so_o be_v it_o very_o usual_a for_o the_o soul_n not_o to_o be_v at_o quiet_a or_o in_o contentment_n with_o herself_o through_o the_o love_n she_o bear_v to_o almighty_a god_n but_o she_o be_v so_o bathe_v and_o soak_v and_o fill_v with_o it_o that_o she_o wish_n that_o other_o will_v drink_v too_o since_o for_o her_o part_n she_o can_v want_v that_o so_o they_o may_v assist_v she_o to_o sing_v the_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n o_o how_o often_o do_v i_o call_v to_o mind_n that_o live_a water_n whereof_o our_o lord_n speak_v to_o the_o samaritan_n as_o indeed_o i_o be_o very_o much_o devote_a to_o that_o gospel_n and_o real_o it_o be_v most_o true_a that_o i_o be_v so_o even_o from_o my_o childhood_n though_o i_o do_v not_o then_o understand_v this_o benefit_n as_o now_o i_o do_v but_o i_o often_o beseech_v our_o lord_n to_o bestow_v of_o this_o water_n upon_o i_o and_o always_o i_o have_v the_o image_n or_o figure_n of_o it_o at_o hand_n with_o this_o motto_n or_o word_n of_o she_o when_o he_o be_v so_o near_o the_o well_o domine_fw-la da_fw-la mihi_fw-la hanc_fw-la aquam_fw-la o_o lord_n bestow_v this_o water_n upon_o i_o it_o seem_v also_o to_o i_o that_o as_o a_o fire_n which_o be_v very_o great_a needs_o matter_n upon_o which_o to_o work_v to_o the_o end_n that_o it_o may_v not_o be_v extinguish_v so_o also_o for_o
those_o soul_n whereof_o i_o speak_v it_o be_v necessary_a that_o they_o be_v bring_v wood_n how_o dear_a soever_o it_o may_v cost_v they_o to_o the_o end_n that_o this_o fire_n may_v not_o go_v out_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o so_o miserable_a a_o creature_n that_o i_o will_v be_v content_a if_o i_o have_v but_o straw_n to_o cast_v in_o and_o so_o it_o happen_v to_o i_o sometime_o yea_o and_o very_o often_o that_o one_o while_o i_o will_v be_v laugh_v and_o at_o other_o time_n much_o afflict_v for_o a_o certain_a interior_a motion_n and_o impulse_n which_o i_o have_v be_v ever_o incite_v i_o to_o serve_v god_n in_o somewhat_o and_o since_o i_o be_o not_o fit_a for_o great_a matter_n to_o do_v it_o by_o gather_v flower_n and_o make_v posy_n and_o apply_v they_o in_o decent_a manner_n to_o holy_a image_n and_o picture_n to_o sweep_v or_o dresse-up_a some_o oratory_n or_o in_o do_v such_o other_o little_a and_o poor_a thing_n as_o give_v i_o confusion_n to_o see_v that_o they_o be_v no_o great_a and_o so_o also_o if_o i_o chance_v to_o do_v any_o penance_n it_o be_v all_o so_o very_o little_a and_o so_o poor_o do_v that_o unless_o our_o lord_n shall_v vouchsafe_v to_o accept_v the_o desire_n for_o the_o deed_n i_o see_v plain_o that_o i_o be_v good_a for_o nothing_o and_o in_o a_o word_n i_o do_v even_o laugh_v at_o myself_o but_o now_o it_o give_v no_o small_a trouble_n to_o such_o soul_n as_o it_o please_v almighty_a god_n through_o his_o goodness_n to_o endue_v with_o the_o fire_n of_o his_o love_n in_o great_a abundance_n if_o they_o be_v in_o want_n of_o corporal_a health_n and_o strength_n whereby_o they_o may_v be_v able_a to_o do_v somewhat_o for_o he_o since_o this_o give_v a_o very_a great_a pain_n for_o in_o regard_n that_o we_o want_v strength_n to_o carry_v still_o more_o and_o more_o wood_n to_o this_o fire_n and_o such_o soul_n do_v even_o die_v for_o the_o fear_n they_o have_v lest_o the_o fire_n shall_v go_v out_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o she_o do_v even_o consume_v and_o burn_v herself_o up_o into_o ash_n or_o else_o even_o dissolve_v herself_o into_o tear_n and_o so_o breath_n herself_o away_o into_o nothing_o and_o this_o be_v a_o strong_a kind_n of_o torment_n though_o it_o leave_v not_o to_o be_v savoury_a withal_o let_v such_o a_o soul_n as_o this_o give_v great_a thanks_n to_o almighty_a god_n if_o she_o have_v arrive_v to_o this_o state_n state_n and_o if_o our_o lord_n have_v give_v her_o person_n corporal_a strength_n to_o do_v penance_n or_o if_o he_o have_v impart_v learning_n and_o talent_n and_o power_n to_o preach_v and_o hear_v confession_n and_o win_v soul_n to_o almighty_a god_n for_o she_o know_v not_o nor_o understand_v not_o the_o great_a benefit_n which_o be_v possess_v by_o she_o unless_o she_o be_v grow_v so_o far_o as_o to_o feel_v the_o affliction_n which_o it_o bring_v to_o be_v ever_o receive_v much_o at_o the_o hand_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o never_o to_o be_v able_a withal_o to_o be_v do_v his_o divine_a majesty_n any_o service_n let_v he_o be_v ever_o bless_v for_o all_o and_o let_v the_o angel_n give_v he_o glory_n amen_n i_o know_v not_o whether_o i_o do_v well_o to_o be_v write_v of_o so_o many_o little_a thing_n but_o since_o your_o reverence_n have_v command_v i_o yet_o again_o not_o to_o esteem_v it_o any_o trouble_n to_o enlarge_v myself_o and_o that_o i_o must_v be_v sure_a to_o omit_v nothing_o i_o therefore_o go_v discourse_v with_o clearness_n and_o with_o truth_n of_o as_o much_o as_o i_o can_v call_v to_o mind_n and_o it_o be_v impossible_a but_o that_o i_o shall_v omit_v many_o thing_n for_o else_o it_o will_v grow_v to_o cost_v i_o much_o more_o time_n whereof_o i_o have_v very_o little_a as_o i_o have_v say_v and_o then_o when_o all_o be_v do_v it_o will_v perhaps_o be_v of_o no_o benefit_n at_o all_o the_o one_o and_o thirty_o chapter_n she_o treat_v of_o certain_a exterior_a temptation_n and_o representation_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o of_o the_o torment_n 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myself_o of_o their_o help_n my_o custom_n be_v whensoever_o any_o corporal_a sickness_n or_o pain_n be_v very_o intolerable_a to_o make_v certain_a act_n within_o myself_o the_o best_a i_o can_v beserch_v our_o bless_a lord_n that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n will_v give_v i_o patience_n and_o that_o if_o it_o shall_v redound_v to_o his_o service_n i_o may_v continue_v to_o suffer_v so_o even_o till_o the_o very_a end_n of_o the_o world_n and_o therefore_o now_o when_o i_o find_v myself_o put_v to_o suffer_v with_o so_o much_o rigour_n i_o apply_v myself_o to_o get_v help_n by_o make_v some_o such_o act_n as_o those_o and_o diverse_a good_a purpose_n also_o that_o so_o i_o may_v bear_v the_o burden_n the_o better_a and_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v then_o that_o i_o shall_v clear_o understand_v it_o to_o be_v the_o devil_n for_o i_o see_v a_o certain_a little_a abominable_a negro_n or_o black-more_a hard_a by_o i_o gnash_v his_o tooth_n even_o like_o a_o despair_a wretch_n but_o yet_o in_o fine_a he_o lose_v by_o what_o he_o hope_v to_o gain_v for_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o see_v he_o i_o fall_v a_o laugh_n and_o have_v no_o fear_n of_o he_o at_o all_o but_o there_o be_v some_o person_n by_o who_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v in_o this_o case_n nor_o how_o to_o procure_v any_o remedy_n for_o such_o pain_n as_o they_o see_v i_o endure_v the_o blow_n be_v so_o great_a which_o he_o make_v i_o give_v myself_o both_o upon_o my_o arm_n and_o my_o head_n and_o my_o whole_a body_n and_o i_o not_o have_v any_o power_n at_o all_o to_o resist_v he_o yea_o and_o which_o be_v worse_o than_o this_o i_o be_v subject_a to_o so_o great_a a_o inward_a kind_n of_o restlessness_n and_o disquiet_v as_o i_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n appease_v no_o nor_o yet_o dare_v i_o so_o much_o as_o call_v for_o holie-water_n for_o fear_n of_o give_v they_o apprehension_n who_o be_v there_o and_o so_o to_o make_v they_o know_v what_o the_o matter_n be_v for_o my_o part_n i_o have_v find_v by_o much_o experience_n that_o there_o be_v not_o any_o thing_n from_o which_o the_o devil_n do_v so_o certain_o fly_v and_o so_o as_o to_o return_v no_o more_o as_o from_o water_n holie-water_n they_o fly_v also_o from_o the_o cross_n but_o in_o that_o case_n they_o will_v present_o sometime_o return_v again_o so_o that_o certain_o the_o virtue_n of_o holie-water_n be_v great_a and_o for_o my_o part_n my_o soul_n find_v a_o particular_a and_o evident_a kind_n of_o comfort_n when_o i_o take_v it_o and_o real_o and_o usual_o i_o feel_v such_o a_o ease_n and_o pleasure_n
in_o it_o as_o i_o be_o not_o well_o able_a to_o express_v for_o it_o be_v a_o interior_a delight_n which_o comfort_v my_o whole_a soul_n and_o this_o be_v no_o mere_a imagination_n or_o fancy_n nor_o a_o thing_n which_o have_v happen_v to_o i_o only_o once_o but_o very_o often_o and_o when_o i_o observe_v it_o with_o most_o attention_n i_o think_v it_o be_v as_o if_o a_o body_n who_o be_v much_o trouble_v with_o heat_n and_o thirst_n shall_v drink_v a_o draught_n of_o very_a cold_a water_n which_o shall_v refresh_v he_o even_o to_o his_o heart_n desire_n and_o heerupon_o i_o also_o consider_v that_o all_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v ordain_v by_o the_o church_n be_v of_o great_a importance_n and_o moment_n and_o it_o be_v matter_n even_o of_o much_o regalo_n to_o i_o that_o those_o word_n which_o the_o consolation_n church_n use_v and_o say_v shall_v have_v the_o power_n to_o make_v holie-water_n become_v of_o so_o very_o different_a a_o condition_n from_o such_o other_o as_o be_v 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a_o letter_n to_o i_o declare_v that_o he_o be_v reform_v so_o far_o already_o as_o that_o some_o good_a time_n have_v incur_v wherein_o he_o have_v return_v no_o more_o to_o that_o sin_n but_o yet_o that_o the_o torment_n be_v so_o great_a by_o the_o temptation_n which_o solicit_v he_o that_o way_n that_o he_o account_v himself_o to_o be_v almost_o as_o it_o be_v in_o a_o kind_n of_o hell_n so_o extreme_o be_v he_o put_v to_o suffer_v by_o it_o and_o therefore_o that_o i_o must_v help_v he_o still_o with_o almighty_a god_n upon_o this_o i_o recommend_v he_o again_o to_o my_o sister_n the_o religious_a of_o our_o monastery_n by_o mean_n of_o who_o prayer_n it_o seem_v our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o this_o favour_n for_o they_o take_v the_o matter_n very_o much_o to_o hart_n this_o man_n be_v a_o person_n of_o who_o no_o one_o can_v guess_v who_o it_o be_v and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v the_o divine_a majesty_n to_o appease_v those_o torment_n and_o temptation_n to_o which_o he_o be_v subject_a and_o that_o those_o devil_n may_v be_v suffer_v to_o torment_v i_o in_o his_o place_n provide_v always_o that_o i_o may_v not_o offend_v our_o bless_a lord_n in_o any_o thing_n by_o it_o and_o it_o be_v very_o certain_o true_a that_o short_o after_o this_o i_o endure_v most_o grievous_a torment_n for_o the_o space_n of_o a_o month_n and_o these_o two_o particular_n which_o i_o have_v now_o relate_v do_v happen_v then_o but_o our_o lord_n in_o the_o mean_a time_n be_v please_v that_o they_o shall_v leave_v to_o afflict_v that_o person_n any_o more_o for_o so_o man_n send_v i_o word_n because_o i_o have_v already_o signify_v to_o they_o what_o have_v occur_v to_o i_o during_o that_o month_n and_o as_o for_o he_o his_o soul_n get_v strength_n daily_o and_o he_o grow_v to_o be_v absolute_o free_a nor_o can_v he_o satisfy_v himself_o with_o give_v thanks_n not_o only_o to_o our_o bless_a lord_n but_o even_o also_o to_o i_o as_o if_o i_o have_v do_v somewhat_o therein_o but_o the_o truth_n be_v that_o the_o opinion_n which_o he_o have_v that_o our_o lord_n do_v sometime_o show_v i_o favour_n be_v of_o benefit_n to_o he_o for_o he_o say_v that_o whensoever_o he_o find_v himself_o to_o be_v much_o assault_v and_o press_v he_o use_v to_o read_v my_o letter_n and_o that_o present_o thereupon_o he_o shall_v find_v himself_o ride_v of_o the_o temptation_n he_o grow_v to_o be_v much_o amaze_v to_o understand_v of_o what_o i_o have_v suffer_v and_o how_o also_o himself_o come_v to_o be_v free_a yea_o and_o even_o i_o come_v also_o to_o wonder_v at_o it_o
it_o say_v he_o this_o can_v grow_v but_o from_o one_o of_o these_o two_o occasion_n namely_o that_o either_o it_o be_v because_o they_o will_v murmur_v against_o you_o orel_n for_o that_o they_o will_v praise_v and_o magnifye_v i_o mean_v that_o they_o who_o shall_v believe_v it_o will_v praise_v he_o and_o they_o who_o shall_v not_o believe_v it_o will_v condemn_v i_o though_o yet_o without_o any_o fault_n at_o all_o of_o i_o but_o he_o say_v that_o both_o those_o thing_n will_v prove_v to_o be_v of_o advantage_n to_o i_o and_o that_o therefore_o i_o must_v no_o long_o be_v trouble_v at_o it_o this_o quiet_v i_o very_o much_o then_o and_o it_o also_o comfort_v i_o now_o whensoever_o i_o call_v it_o to_o mind_n this_o temptation_n come_v on_o so_o far_o that_o it_o give_v i_o a_o inclination_n to_o quit_v this_o place_n and_o to_o carry_v my_o fortune_n with_o i_o to_o another_o monastery_n which_o be_v very_o much_o more_o enclose_v and_o shut_v up_o then_o that_o wherein_o i_o be_v for_o the_o present_a and_o i_o like_v it_o also_o the_o rather_o for_o that_o i_o have_v hear_v it_o extreme_o praise_v many_o way_n and_o beside_o it_o be_v a_o house_n of_o my_o own_o order_n yea_o and_o also_o very_o far_o off_o from_o my_o former_a abode_n and_o it_o be_v a_o thing_n which_o will_v have_v comfort_v i_o much_o to_o remain_v where_o i_o be_v utter_o unknown_a but_o my_o ghostly_a father_n will_v never_o permit_v it_o these_o fear_n do_v much_o deprive_v i_o of_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n but_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v afterward_o that_o it_o be_v no_o good_a humility_n since_o it_o give_v i_o such_o a_o deal_n of_o disquiet_n and_o our_o lord_n upon_o that_o occasion_n teach_v i_o this_o truth_n that_o if_o indeed_o indeed_o i_o be_v resolve_v and_o assure_v that_o nothing_o at_o all_o of_o i_o be_v good_a but_o that_o it_o be_v all_o of_o god_n it_o will_v follow_v that_o just_a so_o as_o i_o will_v not_o be_v sorry_a to_o hear_v other_o person_n praise_v but_o rather_o will_v be_v great_o comfort_v and_o joy_v that_o our_o lord_n do_v show_v himself_o in_o they_o so_o neither_o will_v i_o be_v sorry_a that_o his_o work_n may_v be_v also_o see_v in_o i_o i_o fall_v also_o upon_o another_o extreme_a and_o it_o be_v to_o beg_v of_o almighty_a god_n yea_o and_o i_o make_v particular_a prayer_n to_o this_o purpose_n that_o when_o by_o accident_n any_o person_n shall_v enter_v into_o good_a opinion_n of_o i_o his_o divine_a majesty_n will_v be_v please_v to_o declare_v my_o sin_n to_o he_o to_o the_o end_n that_o the_o man_n may_v see_v how_o absolute_o without_o any_o merit_n of_o i_o it_o please_v our_o b._n lord_n to_o do_v i_o favour_n and_o this_o do_v i_o ever_o much_o desire_n though_o my_o ghostly_a father_n have_v command_v i_o it_o not_o to_o ask_v it_o but_o hitherto_o till_o very_o late_o if_o i_o chance_v to_o see_v any_o person_n who_o think_v extraordinary_o well_o of_o i_o i_o take_v the_o best_a mean_n i_o can_v find_v by_o some_o 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otherwise_o have_v have_v much_o scruple_n to_o do_v it_o but_o now_o i_o see_v very_o well_o that_o all_o these_o little_a truth_n fear_n and_o trouble_n &_o superfluity_n of_o ill-grounded_a humility_n do_v savour_n very_o sufficient_o of_o imperfection_n and_o proceed_v from_o the_o immortification_n of_o the_o soul_n for_o to_o a_o soul_n which_o be_v well_o resign_v into_o the_o hand_n of_o almighty_a god_n it_o do_v not_o import_v she_o a_o iott_n more_o that_o they_o shall_v speak_v well_o of_o she_o then_o ill_o if_o once_o she_o understand_v well_o and_o home_n forasmuch_o as_o god_n will_v give_v she_o that_o grace_n that_o she_o have_v nothing_o at_o all_o of_o herself_o but_o let_v she_o confide_v in_o he_o who_o impart_v it_o and_o she_o shall_v know_v in_o time_n why_o he_o discover_v it_o and_o in_o the_o mean_a while_n let_v she_o prepare_v herself_o for_o persecution_n for_o it_o will_v most_o certain_o arrive_v in_o such_o a_o age_n as_o this_o upon_o any_o such_o person_n as_o to_o who_o our_o lord_n will_v have_v it_o know_v that_o he_o do_v she_o such_o favour_n as_o these_o for_o upon_o any_o such_o soul_n as_o this_o a_o thousand_o watchful_a eye_n will_v be_v cast_v whereas_o there_o will_v not_o be_v one_o upon_o a_o whole_a thousand_o of_o such_o other_o soul_n as_o be_v of_o a_o contrary_a make_n and_o there_o be_v real_o much_o cause_n to_o fear_v this_o and_o it_o ought_v to_o have_v be_v my_o fear_n that_o the_o other_o be_v truth_n not_o humility_n but_o pusillanimity_n for_o a_o soul_n which_o almighty_a god_n permit_v to_o be_v expose_v thus_o to_o the_o sight_n of_o the_o world_n may_v expect_v to_o be_v a_o martyr_n of_o the_o same_o world_n for_o if_o she_o will_v not_o die_v to_o it_o she_o shall_v die_v by_o it_o for_o my_o part_n i_o real_o see_v nothing_o in_o this_o thing_n call_v world_n which_o seem_v good_a to_o i_o except_o only_o that_o it_o give_v not_o way_n that_o worthy_a and_o good_a people_n shall_v be_v permit_v to_o do_v ill_a without_o be_v murmur_v at_o for_o their_o labour_n and_o by_o this_o mean_n they_o grow_v to_o perfect_v themselves_o but_o there_o be_v need_n of_o more_o fortitude_n and_o courage_n for_o a_o man_n who_o be_v yet_o imperfect_a to_o walke-on_a towards_o a_o way_n of_o perfection_n then_o even_o to_o be_v instant_o make_v a_o martyr_n for_o perfection_n be_v not_o so_o quick_o get_v unless_o it_o be_v by_o some_o such_o person_n as_o to_o who_o our_o bless_a lord_n may_v vouchsafe_v that_o favour_n by_o way_n of_o a_o particular_a privilege_n but_o the_o world_n discern_v once_o that_o a_o man_n begin_v to_o aspire_v to_o do_v well_o will_v needs_o account_v he_o perfect_a at_o a_o instant_n and_o then_o will_v it_o present_o see_v any_o fault_n in_o he_o if_o he_o have_v any_o though_o it_o be_v a_o thousand_o league_n off_o yea_o and_o perhaps_o that_o which_o they_o hold_v to_o be_v a_o fault_n in_o he_o shall_v indeed_o be_v a_o virtue_n and_o the_o other_o who_o condemn_v he_o and_o be_v wont_a peradventure_o to_o do_v the_o selfsame_a thing_n by_o a_o impulse_n of_o vice_n will_v judge_v ill_a of_o it_o in_o another_o so_o that_o according_a to_o his_o dictamen_fw-la that_o other_o man_n shall_v neither_o eat_v nor_o sleep_n nor_o even_o as_o it_o be_v draw_v his_o breath_n and_o the_o more_o also_o they_o esteem_v such_o person_n the_o more_o apt_a be_v they_o to_o forget_v that_o how_o perfect_a soever_o their_o soul_n be_v and_o how_o absolute_o soever_o they_o tread_v the_o whole_a world_n under_o their_o foot_n yet_o still_o they_o be_v in_o the_o body_n and_o live_v upon_o earth_n and_o be_v subject_a to_o the_o misery_n of_o their_o condition_n and_o therefore_o still_o i_o say_v that_o there_o be_v need_n of_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o courage_n because_o such_o man_n have_v a_o mind_n that_o the_o poor_a soul_n which_o have_v not_o yet_o begin_v to_o walk_v shall_v already_o fly_v she_o have_v not_o yet_o overcome_v and_o mortify_v her_o passion_n and_o yet_o these_o man_n will_v needs_o expect_v that_o she_o shall_v remain_v as_o entire_a and_o firm_a as_o they_o have_v read_v of_o saint_n themselves_o after_o they_o be_v confirm_v in_o grace_n the_o particular_n which_o occur_v in_o this_o kind_n be_v to_o give_v a_o man_n cause_n to_o wonder_n and_o withal_o even_o to_o afflict_v we_o to_o the_o hart_n to_o see_v so_o many_o soul_n turn_v back_o again_o which_o know_v not_o poor_a creature_n as_o they_o be_v what_o shift_n to_o make_v for_o themselves_o and_o so_o do_v i_o believe_v that_o i_o have_v also_o do_v if_o our_o
honour_n which_o be_v allow_v to_o other_o i_o consider_v the_o goodness_n of_o almighty_a god_n in_o not_o permit_v the_o soul_n even_o of_o that_o man_n to_o be_v defame_v but_o that_o it_o may_v be_v conceal_v that_o he_o be_v a_o enemy_n of_o he_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v even_o turn_v half_a fool_n by_o what_o i_o have_v see_v yet_o during_o all_o the_o performance_n of_o the_o office_n of_o the_o dead_a there_o be_v no_o more_o devil_n to_o be_v see_v but_o when_o afterward_o they_o put_v the_o body_n into_o the_o grave_n there_o be_v such_o a_o multitude_n of_o they_o ready_a to_o receive_v the_o body_n that_o i_o be_v even_o out_o of_o myself_o with_o behold_v it_o and_o it_o be_v no_o little_a courage_n which_o i_o need_v for_o enable_v i_o to_o dissemble_v the_o see_v it_o and_o i_o consider_v how_o those_o devil_n be_v likely_a to_o treat_v that_o soul_n when_o they_o exercise_v such_o a_o absolute_a dominion_n even_o over_o that_o woeful_a body_n and_o i_o will_v to_o christ_n that_o what_o i_o see_v have_v also_o be_v see_v by_o such_o as_o be_v in_o mortal_a sin_n for_o i_o think_v it_o must_v have_v be_v of_o much_o effect_n and_o force_n towards_o a_o make_v they_o mend_v their_o life_n now_o all_o this_o oblige_v i_o to_o know_v more_o and_o more_o what_o i_o owe_v to_o almighty_a god_n and_o from_o what_o he_o have_v deliver_v my_o soul_n but_o yet_o i_o go_v on_o with_o fear_n enough_o till_o i_o have_v impart_v these_o particular_n to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n as_o conceave_a that_o perhaps_o it_o may_v have_v be_v some_o illusion_n of_o the_o devil_n whereby_o to_o defame_v that_o soul_n though_o yet_o the_o man_n have_v not_o be_v hold_v to_o be_v of_o very_o good_a life_n but_o yet_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o whether_o it_o be_v a_o illusion_n or_o no_o i_o be_o sure_a i_o never_o remember_v it_o but_o it_o make_v i_o afraid_a and_o now_o since_o i_o have_v begin_v to_o speak_v of_o vision_n which_o have_v relation_n to_o some_o such_o person_n as_o be_v dead_a i_o will_v also_o declare_v some_o thing_n concern_v some_o other_o kind_n of_o soul_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v see_v but_o i_o will_v speak_v only_o of_o few_o both_o to_o be_v the_o short_a and_o because_o it_o will_v not_o be_v necessary_a to_o say_v much_o in_o order_n to_o the_o receive_n of_o benefit_n thereby_o they_o tell_v i_o once_o that_o a_o certain_a man_n be_v dead_a who_o have_v be_v provincial_a of_o his_o order_n but_o when_o he_o die_v he_o be_v provincial_a of_o another_o province_n now_o i_o have_v communicate_v much_o with_o this_o man_n and_o have_v be_v oblige_v to_o he_o for_o some_o good_a office_n which_o he_o have_v do_v i_o this_o man_n be_v of_o much_o &_o many_o virtue_n but_o yet_o when_o i_o come_v to_o know_v that_o he_o be_v dead_a i_o be_v great_o trouble_v at_o it_o because_o i_o be_v in_o fear_n and_o doubt_v of_o his_o salvation_n in_o regard_n that_o he_o have_v be_v a_o prelate_n or_o superior_a twenty_o year_n which_o real_o be_v a_o thing_n that_o i_o be_o apt_a to_o fear_v as_o hold_v it_o to_o be_v a_o matter_n of_o much_o danger_n to_o have_v charge_n of_o soul_n and_o so_o i_o go_v with_o trouble_n enough_o to_o a_o oratory_n and_o give_v he_o all_o that_o little_a good_a which_o i_o have_v ever_o do_v in_o my_o whole_a life_n which_o yet_o be_v little_a enough_o and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v out_o bless_v lord_n that_o he_o will_v supply_v out_o of_o his_o infinite_a merit_n for_o as_o much_o as_o that_o soul_n may_v wot_v towards_o the_o free_n itself_o out_o of_o purgatory_n and_o whilst_o i_o be_v beg_v this_o boon_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n in_o the_o best_a manner_n i_o can_v i_o think_v he_o rise_v as_o from_o some_o deep_a part_n out_o of_o the_o earth_n on_o my_o right_a side_n and_o so_o i_o see_v he_o mount-up_a to_o heaven_n with_o very_o great_a joy_n the_o man_n be_v very_o old_a before_o he_o die_v but_o yet_o now_o he_o seem_v to_o i_o to_o be_v but_o of_o thirty_o year_n old_a or_o rather_o somewhat_o less_o but_o with_o much_o brightness_n in_o his_o face_n this_o vision_n pass_v away_o very_o speedy_o but_o yet_o i_o be_v so_o extreme_o comfort_v by_o it_o that_o the_o death_n of_o that_o man_n do_v put_v i_o now_o to_o no_o more_o pain_n though_o i_o have_v trouble_v many_o other_o about_o he_o for_o he_o be_v very_o well_o belove_v and_o thus_o also_o the_o comfort_n of_o my_o soul_n be_v so_o great_a i_o can_v not_o possible_o doubt_v but_o that_o the_o vision_n be_v true_a and_o no_o illusion_n this_o happen_v but_o fifteen_o day_n after_o his_o death_n but_o still_o i_o be_v not_o slack_a in_o procure_v that_o he_o may_v be_v recommend_v to_o almighty_a god_n save_o that_o i_o can_v not_o do_v it_o so_o hearty_o as_o before_o i_o see_v this_o vision_n for_o when_o our_o lord_n show_v i_o such_o thing_n and_o that_o yet_o i_o will_v pray_v for_o they_o afterward_o i_o can_v choose_v but_o conceive_v that_o it_o be_v as_o if_o i_o give_v a_o alm_n to_o a_o rich_a man_n but_o now_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v afterward_o for_o the_o man_n die_v very_o far_o off_o that_o the_o death_n which_o our_o lord_n grant_v he_o be_v of_o so_o great_a comfort_n to_o he_o by_o the_o knowledge_n of_o himself_o and_o by_o the_o humility_n which_o he_o express_v that_o it_o be_v of_o very_o great_a edification_n now_o a_o certain_a religious_a woman_n die_v at_o home_n with_o we_o about_o a_o day_n and_o a_o half_a before_o that_o occur_v whereof_o i_o be_o go_v to_o speak_v but_o she_o have_v be_v a_o good_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o another_o religious_a woman_n read_v one_o of_o those_o lesson_n which_o belong_v to_o the_o office_n of_o the_o dead_a which_o be_v recite_v in_o the_o choir_n for_o her_o soul_n it_o be_v my_o turn_n to_o stand_v by_o and_o assist_v in_o repeat_v the_o versicle_n but_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o the_o lesson_n i_o think_v i_o see_v the_o soul_n rise_v up_o as_o the_o other_o do_v and_o so_o go_v to_o heaven_n now_o this_o be_v no_o imaginary_a vision_n like_o the_o last_o but_o like_o other_o which_o i_o recount_v before_o yet_o these_o be_v no_o less_o certain_a than_o those_o other_o be_v there_o be_v also_o another_o religious_a woman_n of_o between_o eighteen_o and_o twenty_o year_n old_a who_o die_v at_o home_n in_o our_o house_n now_o she_o have_v be_v always_o sickly_a and_o a_o great_a servant_n of_o god_n and_o very_o diligent_a in_o the_o choir_n and_o in_o fine_a a_o very_a virtuous_a woman_n and_o real_o i_o be_v apt_a to_o think_v that_o she_o shall_v not_o have_v go_v to_o purgatory_n at_o all_o but_o rather_o that_o there_o will_v have_v be_v supernumerarie_a merit_n in_o regard_n of_o the_o many_o sickness_n which_o she_o have_v endure_v but_o yet_o when_o we_o be_v recite_v the_o office_n before_o she_o be_v bury_v and_o some_o four_o hour_n after_o she_o die_v i_o understand_v that_o her_o soul_n spring_v up_o out_o of_o the_o same_o place_n and_o go_v to_o heaven_n be_v one_o day_n in_o a_o college_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n with_o those_o great_a affliction_n and_o trouble_n which_o i_o have_v declare_v myself_o sometime_o to_o have_v have_v and_o still_o have_v both_o in_o body_n and_o soul_n i_o find_v myself_o to_o be_v in_o such_o condition_n that_o i_o think_v i_o be_v not_o able_a so_o much_o as_o to_o entertain_v one_o good_a thought_n there_o die_v that_o night_n a_o brother_n of_o the_o society_n of_o that_o house_n and_o i_o recommend_v he_o the_o best_a i_o can_v to_o almighty_a god_n and_o be_v at_o the_o mass_n of_o another_o father_n of_o the_o society_n for_o his_o soul_n i_o be_v seize_v by_o a_o very_a great_a recollection_n and_o i_o see_v he_o goe-up_a to_o heaven_n with_o much_o glory_n yea_o and_o i_o understand_v that_o our_o bless_a lord_n himself_o do_v accompany_v he_o by_o way_n of_o particular_a favour_n a_o religious_a man_n of_o our_o order_n who_o be_v a_o very_a good_a man_n be_v fall_v very_o dangerous_o sick_a and_o i_o be_v then_o at_o mass_n grow_v to_o be_v in_o very_o great_a recollection_n and_o see_v that_o the_o man_n be_v dead_a and_o that_o he_o go_v instant_o to_o heaven_n without_o touch_v upon_o purgatory_n at_o all_o and_o he_o die_v in_o that_o very_a hour_n as_o i_o be_v tell_v afterward_o now_o i_o wonder_v that_o he_o have_v never_o enter_v into_o purgatory_n but_o i_o understand_v that_o he_o have_v be_v a_o religious_a man_n and_o have_v well_o observe_v the_o
high_a and_o abstract_a nature_n of_o the_o very_a content_n of_o the_o book_n partly_o through_o the_o great_a length_n of_o the_o period_n partly_o through_o the_o multitude_n sometime_o of_o parenthesis_n even_o in_o the_o same_o sentence_n partly_o through_o her_o forbear_n to_o use_v those_o particle_n in_o the_o begin_n of_o the_o say_a sentence_n as_o namely_o for_o but_o yet_o therefore_o and_o the_o like_a without_o which_o it_o be_v not_o always_o so_o easy_a to_o discern_v whether_o the_o discourse_n be_v either_o continue_v or_o interrupt_v or_o end_v and_o partly_o &_o cheiflie_o by_o the_o ill_a print_n and_o worse_o point_v of_o all_o the_o spanish_a copy_n which_o i_o can_v ever_o come_v to_o see_v all_o which_o i_o be_o fain_a to_o allege_v by_o way_n of_o a_o humble_a excuse_n for_o whatsoever_o error_n i_o may_v have_v involuntarilie_o commit_v in_o this_o case_n but_o howsoever_o i_o here_o present_v it_o to_o the_o glory_n of_o almighty_a god_n to_o the_o praise_n of_o this_o excellent_a saint_n and_o to_o the_o consolation_n of_o these_o child_n of_o she_o who_o be_v no_o less_o than_o a_o kind_n of_o counterpoise_n to_o the_o misery_n of_o the_o time_n wherein_o we_o live_v but_o now_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o have_v translate_v the_o work_n a_o certain_a wise_a &_o worthy_a man_n &_o my_o friend_n take_v knowledge_n of_o it_o and_o desire_v i_o by_o a_o very_a earnest_a letter_n of_o he_o to_o usher_v this_o book_n into_o the_o world_n with_o a_o preface_n of_o my_o own_o which_o may_v open_v the_o reader_n eye_n the_o more_o easy_o to_o behold_v the_o saint_n when_o she_o follow_v and_o so_o also_o to_o give_v some_o notice_n of_o her_o child_n who_o be_v follow_v she_o and_o though_o i_o allege_v my_o reason_n why_o this_o may_v be_v less_o necessary_o do_v yet_o still_o he_o urge_v i_o to_o it_o and_o so_o i_o make_v his_o will_n i_o own_o and_o accord_o shall_v speak_v a_o few_o of_o my_o thought_n i_o say_v some_o few_o of_o my_o thought_n 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direct_a contrary_n but_o only_o to_o declare_v her_o form_n of_o prayer_n together_o with_o the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n impart_v to_o she_o therein_o but_o now_o she_o upon_o that_o occasion_n will_v needs_o make_v she_o own_o process_n in_o view_n of_o the_o world_n &_o show_v as_o incident_a to_o the_o rest_n how_o ill_o she_o have_v comply_v with_o almighty_a god_n from_o time_n to_o time_n and_o by_o this_o mean_n do_v she_o in_o effect_n weave_v that_o great_a piece_n of_o rich_a cloth-of-gold_n and_o tislue_v which_o concern_v almost_o the_o history_n of_o her_o whole_a life_n and_o now_o the_o same_o be_v hungout_n abroad_o to_o the_o view_v of_o the_o world_n but_o yet_o among_o all_o the_o excellency_n thereof_o there_o be_v one_o thing_n which_o displease_v many_o worthy_a wise_a &_o holy_a man_n or_o at_o least_o which_o please_v they_o less_o than_o the_o rest_n and_o it_o be_v that_o whensoever_o there_o be_v any_o question_n at_o all_o of_o herself_o in_o order_n 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too_o great_a scope_n if_o the_o reader_n will_v needs_o take_v she_o at_o her_o word_n to_o violate_v she_o own_o excellent_a fame_n by_o certain_a too_o venturous_a dash_v of_o her_o pen_n which_o be_v drive_v too_o too_o hasty_o on_o by_o the_o impulse_n of_o a_o kind_n of_o inordinate_a humility_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o if_o a_o body_n be_v dispose_v to_o trust_v his_o eye_n alone_o without_o his_o reason_n he_o may_v be_v easy_o draw_v to_o pass_v a_o very_a erroneous_a judgement_n upon_o her_o soul_n for_o she_o will_v tell_v you_o in_o twenty_o place_n of_o this_o book_n what_o a_o grievous_a sinner_n she_o be_v what_o a_o multitude_n of_o great_a sin_n she_o have_v in_o her_o conceit_n commit_v
my_o parent_n but_o by_o the_o way_n of_o virtue_n my_o father_n be_v a_o man_n of_o much_o charity_n towards_o poor_a people_n and_o of_o compassion_n towards_o the_o sick_a yea_o and_o he_o have_v so_o much_o pity_n even_o of_o his_o servant_n that_o he_o can_v never_o resolve_v to_o keep_v any_o slave_n for_o the_o tenderness_n which_o he_o have_v towards_o they_o and_o there_o be_v once_o a_o slave_n in_o his_o house_n who_o belong_v to_o a_o brother_n of_o he_o he_o cause_v he_o to_o be_v treat_v and_o feed_v as_o if_o he_o have_v be_v one_o of_o his_o own_o child_n and_o say_v through_o his_o great_a compassion_n that_o he_o can_v not_o endure_v to_o see_v such_o as_o he_o be_v unless_o they_o may_v be_v make_v free_a he_o be_v a_o man_n of_o much_o truth_n nor_o do_v ever_o any_o creature_n hear_v he_o either_o detract_v or_o swear_v he_o be_v excee_o honest_a and_o chaste_a my_o mother_n also_o be_v enrich_v with_o many_o virtue_n and_o she_o pass_v through_o this_o life_n of_o 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buy_v heaven_n where_o they_o be_v to_o see_v and_o enjoy_v his_o divine_a majesty_n very_o good_a cheap_a and_o myself_o also_o desire_v much_o to_o die_v so_o though_o not_o yet_o for_o the_o love_n which_o i_o find_v and_o feel_v myself_o to_o bear_v he_o but_o rather_o that_o i_o may_v come_v by_o so_o compendious_a a_o way_n to_o enjoy_v those_o great_a felicity_n which_o i_o have_v read_v to_o be_v impart_v in_o heaven_n i_o associate_v myself_o therefore_o to_o this_o brother_n of_o i_o to_o consider_v what_o mean_v there_o may_v be_v for_o our_o obtain_v this_o end_n and_o so_o we_o grow_v to_o resolve_v that_o we_o will_v go_v into_o barbary_n among_o the_o moor_n and_o beg_v by_o the_o way_n as_o we_o go_v that_o so_o we_o may_v come_v by_o degree_n to_o loose_v our_o life_n there_o for_o our_o lord_n and_o it_o seem_v that_o he_o give_v we_o courage_n enough_o for_o this_o purpose_n even_o in_o that_o tender_a age_n of_o we_o if_o we_o can_v have_v find_v any_o mean_n to_o 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to_o set_v up_o some_o little_a oratorye_n or_o chapel_n after_o the_o manner_n of_o heremitage_n the_o best_a we_o can_v and_o we_o assemble_v little_a stone_n for_o that_o purpose_n which_o will_v instant_o be_v fall_v down_o again_o and_o so_o we_o meet_v with_o no_o mean_n to_o put_v out_o good_a desire_n in_o execution_n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o be_o not_o without_o some_o feel_n of_o devotion_n to_o consider_v how_o soon_o it_o please_v almighty_a god_n to_o give_v i_o this_o kind_n of_o tenderness_n towards_o he_o which_o afterward_o i_o grow_v to_o loose_v through_o my_o own_o fault_n i_o give_v alm_n as_o well_o as_o i_o can_v though_o it_o be_v but_o little_a i_o procure_v to_o be_v much_o alone_a for_o the_o better_a do_v my_o devotion_n which_o be_v many_o and_o especial_o that_o of_o the_o rosarie_n to_o which_o my_o mother_n be_v much_o affect_v and_o she_o endeavour_v also_o to_o make_v we_o so_o i_o take_v particular_a contentment_n while_o i_o be_v play_v with_o other_o child_n like_o myself_o to_o frame_v certain_a little_a thing_n like_o monastery_n as_o if_o we_o have_v be_v religious_a woman_n and_o i_o thought_n i_o desire_v to_o be_v one_o though_o yet_o not_o with_o such_o vehemency_n of_o affection_n as_o i_o do_v those_o other_o thing_n whereof_o i_o speak_v i_o remember_v that_o when_o my_o mother_n die_v she_o leave_v i_o a_o little_a less_o then_o twelue_v year_n old_a and_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o begin_v to_o understand_v how_o great_a a_o loss_n i_o have_v sustain_v by_o lose_v she_o i_o be_v very_o much_o afflict_v and_o so_o i_o go_v besore_n a_o image_n of_o our_o bless_a lady_n and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v she_o with_o many_o tear_n that_o she_o will_v vouchsafe_v to_o be_v my_o mother_n and_o though_o i_o perform_v this_o little_a action_n but_o in_o a_o plain_a and_o simple_a manner_n yet_o i_o think_v i_o may_v well_o conceive_v that_o it_o have_v serve_v i_o to_o very_o good_a purpose_n for_o i_o have_v most_o evident_o find_v the_o favour_n of_o this_o sovereign_a virgin_n concern_v all_o thing_n wherein_o i_o have_v recommend_v myself_o to_o her_o care_n and_o in_o fine_a she_o have_v bring_v i_o about_o to_o herself_o it_o afflict_v i_o to_o the_o very_a hart_n to_o see_v and_o consider_v how_o poor_a those_o impediment_n be_v which_o keep_v i_o from_o remain_v entire_a and_o constant_a in_o those_o good_a desire_n which_o i_o begin_v to_o have_v but_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n since_o it_o seem_v thou_o will_v vouchsafe_v to_o save_v i_o and_o i_o beseech_v thy_o divine_a majesty_n that_o it_o my_o be_v so_o and_o to_o show_v i_o so_o great_a favour_n as_o thou_o have_v do_v i_o may_v it_o not_o please_v thou_o not_o for_o my_o interest_n and_o profit_n but_o for_o that_o high_a reverence_n which_o be_v due_a to_o thyself_o to_o take_v order_n that_o this_o house_n of_o my_o hart_n wherein_o thou_o shall_v for_o ever_o remain_v may_v be_v no_o more_o defile_v nay_o it_o go_v o_o lord_n to_o my_o very_a soul_n even_o to_o say_v thus_o much_o because_o i_o know_v and_o feel_v that_o the_o fault_n thereof_o be_v whole_o i_o for_o as_o for_o thou_o i_o find_v clear_o enough_o that_o there_o want_v nothing_o at_o all_o on_o thy_o part_n to_o secure_v i_o for_o be_v total_o thou_o own_o even_o from_o that_o tender_a age_n of_o i_o and_o if_o i_o will_v be_v content_a to_o seek_v some_o colour_n to_o complain_v of_o my_o parent_n with_o as_o little_a reason_n also_o can_v i_o do_v that_o since_o i_o can_v never_o discover_v any_o thing_n in_o
i_o still_o desire_v to_o recover_v my_o health_n though_o yet_o i_o endure_v my_o sickness_n with_o great_a alacrity_n and_o i_o will_v be_v think_v and_o consider_v sometime_o that_o if_o by_o enjoy_v my_o health_n i_o may_v chance_v be_v damn_v it_o will_v be_v better_o for_o i_o to_o remain_v still_o as_o sick_a as_o i_o be_v but_o howsoever_o i_o conceive_v that_o i_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o serve_v almighty_a god_n much_o better_o if_o i_o can_v enjoy_v my_o health_n now_o this_o be_v the_o abuse_n and_o error_n which_o deceive_v we_o not_o to_o resign_v ourselves_o entire_o to_o the_o disposition_n and_o good_a pleasure_n of_o our_o lord_n who_o know_v best_a what_o be_v fit_a for_o us._n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o get_v many_o mass_n say_v for_o this_o purpose_n and_o i_o resort_v also_o to_o the_o use_n of_o other_o solid_a and_o approve_a prayer_n for_o i_o be_v never_o a_o friend_n of_o certain_a odd_a devotion_n which_o be_v use_v by_o diverse_a person_n and_o especial_o by_o woman_n with_o some_o odd_a ceremony_n which_o i_o can_v never_o endure_v since_o i_o understand_v that_o they_o savour_v of_o superstition_n howsoever_o other_o folk_n be_v move_v by_o they_o and_o so_o i_o take_v for_o my_o advocate_n and_o lord_n the_o glorious_a s._n joseph_n and_o i_o recommend_v myself_o much_o to_o he_o and_o i_o have_v see_v clear_o that_o this_o father_n and_o lord_n of_o i_o have_v draw_v i_o as_o well_o out_o of_o this_o necessity_n as_o out_o of_o other_o great_a when_o there_o be_v question_n of_o honour_n and_o loss_n of_o the_o soul_n and_o that_o with_o more_o benefit_n and_o advantage_n then_o even_o myself_o can_v tell_v how_o to_o desire_v nay_o i_o can_v remember_v that_o hitherto_o i_o ever_o desire_v any_o thing_n by_o his_o mean_n which_o he_o have_v fail_v to_o obtain_v for_o i_o and_o it_o be_v able_a even_o to_o amaze_v i_o when_o i_o consider_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o almighty_a god_n have_v do_v i_o by_o mean_n of_o this_o bless_a saint_n and_o the_o danger_n both_o of_o body_n and_o soul_n out_o of_o which_o he_o have_v deliver_v i_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o it_o seem_v our_o lord_n have_v give_v the_o grace_n and_o power_n to_o other_o saint_n to_o succour_v man_n in_o some_o one_o kind_n of_o necessity_n of_o they_o but_o i_o find_v by_o good_a experience_n that_o this_o glorious_a saint_n succour_v we_o in_o they_o all_o and_o that_o our_o lord_n will_v make_v we_o understand_v that_o as_o he_o will_v be_v subject_a to_o s._n joseph_n upon_o earth_n and_o that_o by_o enjoy_v the_o name_n of_o his_o father_n and_o by_o be_v as_o it_o be_v his_o director_n and_o tutor_n he_o may_v command_v he_o so_o also_o he_o will_v now_o in_o heaven_n grant_v whatsoever_o this_o saint_n shall_v desire_v this_o truth_n have_v also_o be_v see_v by_o the_o experience_n of_o other_o who_o i_o have_v desire_v to_o recommend_v themselves_o to_o this_o saint_n and_o now_o many_o be_v grow_v to_o be_v devote_a to_o he_o and_o myself_o also_o have_v fresh_a experience_n of_o this_o truth_n for_o my_o part_n i_o procure_v to_o celebrate_v his_o festivitie_n with_o all_o the_o solemnity_n i_o be_v able_a to_o use_v but_o yet_o with_o more_o vanity_n then_o true_a spirit_n desire_v that_o it_o may_v be_v perform_v with_o much_o curiosity_n and_o exactness_n though_o yet_o still_o with_o good_a intention_n but_o i_o ever_o have_v this_o of_o ill_a that_o if_o our_o lord_n enable_v i_o at_o any_o time_n to_o do_v any_o thing_n which_o be_v good_a it_o will_v be_v full_a of_o imperfection_n and_o fault_n whereas_o towards_o the_o do_v any_o thing_n amiss_o and_o for_o the_o exercise_v of_o curiosity_n and_o vanity_n i_o use_v much_o diligence_n and_o dexterity_n and_o cunning_a our_o lord_n pardon_v i_o for_o it_o and_o now_o i_o will_v fain_o persuade_v all_o the_o world_n to_o be_v devote_a to_o this_o glorious_a saint_n for_o the_o great_a experience_n which_o i_o have_v have_v of_o the_o blessing_n that_o he_o obtain_v for_o we_o of_o almighty_a god_n nay_o i_o have_v never_o know_v any_o one_o who_o be_v serious_o devote_a to_o he_o and_o perform_v he_o particular_a service_n who_o i_o find_v not_o also_o to_o go_v proceed_v on_o in_o virtue_n for_o real_o he_o assist_v those_o soul_n much_o which_o recommend_v themselves_o to_o he_o and_o to_o my_o best_a remembrance_n there_o be_v diverse_a year_n wherein_o i_o have_v desire_v somewhat_o of_o he_o upon_o his_o festival_n day_n and_o i_o have_v ever_o find_v it_o grant_v and_o if_o peradventure_o my_o petition_n have_v some_o little_a of_o the_o indirect_a belong_v to_o it_o he_o redress_v it_o and_o set_v it_o straight_o for_o my_o great_a good_a if_o i_o be_v any_o such_o person_n as_o have_v authority_n to_o write_v i_o will_v glad_o enlarge_v myself_o here_o to_o make_v particular_a relation_n of_o the_o favour_n which_o this_o glorious_a saint_n have_v obtain_v both_o for_o i_o and_o other_o but_o to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v do_v no_o more_o than_o i_o be_o command_v i_o must_v be_v short_a in_o many_o thing_n than_o i_o will_v and_o more_o large_a in_o other_o then_o be_v needful_a like_o one_o in_o fine_a who_o have_v little_a discretion_n for_o the_o do_v of_o any_o thing_n which_o be_v good_a only_o i_o beg_v for_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n that_o whosoever_o can_v believe_v i_o will_v try_v the_o truth_n of_o what_o i_o say_v for_o he_o shall_v find_v by_o experience_n how_o great_o a_o good_a thing_n it_o be_v to_o recommend_v himself_o to_o this_o glorious_a patriarch_n and_o to_o be_v devote_a to_o he_o especial_o such_o as_o give_v themselves_o to_o prayer_n shall_v always_o be_v affectionate_a to_o this_o saint_n for_o i_o know_v not_o how_o one_o can_v think_v of_o the_o queen_n of_o the_o angel_n at_o those_o time_n when_o she_o suffer_v so_o much_o during_o the_o infancy_n of_o our_o lord_n jesus_n and_o not_o give_v thanks_n to_o s._n joseph_n for_o the_o great_a assistance_n which_o he_o give_v they_o at_o that_o time_n whosoever_o want_v a_o master_n who_o may_v instruct_v he_o to_o pray_v let_v he_o take_v this_o glorious_a saint_n for_o his_o guide_n and_o he_o shall_v never_o loose_v his_o way_n i_o beseech_v our_o lord_n that_o i_o may_v have_v commit_v no_o error_n in_o presume_v to_o speak_v of_o this_o saint_n for_o though_o i_o thus_o profess_v and_o publish_v myself_o to_o be_v devote_a to_o he_o yet_o have_v i_o be_v ever_o faulty_a in_o the_o not_o do_v he_o real_a service_n and_o in_o not_o imitate_v his_o virtue_n but_o now_o he_o do_v like_o himself_o by_o procure_v that_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o rise_v and_o walk_v and_o be_v no_o long_o a_o cripple_n and_o so_o i_o do_v also_o like_o myself_o in_o make_v so_o ill_o use_v of_o this_o favour_n but_o now_o who_o will_v ever_o have_v imagine_v that_o i_o can_v so_o soon_o fall_v back_o again_o after_o my_o receive_n so_o many_o regalo_n at_o the_o hand_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o after_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v vouchsafe_v to_o give_v i_o some_o virtue_n which_o even_o as_o it_o be_v of_o themselves_o do_v awake_a and_o stir_v i_o up_o to_o his_o service_n and_o after_o i_o have_v see_v myself_o even_o as_o it_o be_v dead_a and_o in_o so_o imminent_a danger_n to_o be_v condemn_v to_o hell_n and_o after_o he_o have_v raise_v i_o again_o both_o in_o body_n and_o soul_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o all_o they_o who_o see_v i_o be_v even_o amaze_v to_o find_v that_o i_o can_v so_o long_o be_v alive_a but_o what_o be_v this_o o_o my_o lord_n and_o my_o god_n be_v this_o life_n to_o be_v still_o so_o dangerous_a which_o we_o be_v to_o live_v even_o now_o whilst_o i_o be_o write_v this_o i_o think_v that_o by_o this_o favour_n and_o mercy_n i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o say_v with_o s._n paul_n though_o yet_o not_o with_o such_o perfection_n as_o he_o say_v it_o that_o now_o it_o be_v not_o i_o who_o live_v but_o thou_o o_o my_o creator_n who_o live_v in_o i_o according_a to_o the_o experience_n which_o i_o have_v have_v some_o year_n by_o that_o little_a which_o i_o be_o able_a to_o understand_v of_o myself_o and_o still_o thou_o hold_v and_o keep_v thy_o hand_n over_o i_o and_o i_o find_v myself_o full_a of_o desire_n and_o good_a purpose_n and_o in_o some_o sort_n i_o have_v prove_v also_o even_o by_o experience_n of_o many_o thing_n in_o these_o late_a year_n that_o i_o will_v by_o no_o mean_n do_v any_o thing_n which_o shall_v contradict_v or_o cross_v thy_o will_n how_o little_a soever_o it_o may_v be_v though_o yet_o i_o well_o believe_v that_o i_o
in_o the_o garden_n it_o be_v to_o my_o think_n as_o if_o our_o lord_n have_v make_v it_o to_o be_v utter_v for_o i_o so_o quick_a be_v that_o sense_n which_o i_o have_v thereof_o in_o my_o hart_n and_o i_o be_v for_o a_o very_a great_a while_n even_o dissolve_v as_o it_o be_v in_o tear_n and_o feel_v a_o great_a affliction_n and_o vexation_n o_o my_o dear_a lord_n howmuch_o do_v a_o soul_n grow_v to_o suffer_v and_o what_o torment_n do_v it_o endure_v for_o the_o lose_n of_o her_o liberty_n while_o yet_o she_o be_v create_v and_o ordain_v to_o be_v the_o lady_n of_o herself_o and_o to_o command_v for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o in_o a_o wonder_n how_o i_o can_v be_v able_a to_o endure_v so_o great_a torment_n but_o bless_v be_v almighty_a god_n who_o give_v i_o life_n till_o i_o may_v get_v out_o of_o that_o so_o deadly_a a_o death_n and_o now_o i_o think_v my_o soul_n be_v obtain_v great_a strength_n at_o the_o hand_n of_o that_o divine_a majesty_n and_o that_o now_o he_o may_v grow_v to_o be_v please_v to_o hear_v my_o outcry_n and_o have_v compassion_n of_o my_o so_o many_o tear_n upon_o this_o my_o affection_n to_o spend_v more_o time_n with_o he_o begin_v to_o increase_v and_o to_o take_v myself_o also_o out_o of_o the_o way_n of_o ill_a occasion_n for_o when_o they_o once_o be_v go_v i_o begin_v to_o love_v his_o divine_a majesty_n again_o at_o least_o i_o think_v i_o may_v conclude_v myself_o then_o to_o love_v he_o but_o the_o truth_n be_v that_o i_o understand_v not_o as_o i_o ought_v to_o have_v understand_v in_o what_o the_o true_a love_n of_o god_n do_v consist_v and_o to_o the_o best_a that_o i_o be_o able_a to_o judge_v i_o do_v even_o scarce_o make_v a_o end_n of_o dispose_v myself_o final_o to_o resolve_v to_o serve_v he_o when_o his_o divine_a majesty_n begin_v already_o to_o vouchsafe_v i_o new_a regalos_n and_o favour_n and_o it_o seem_v that_o what_o other_o must_v be_v glad_a to_o endeavour_v to_o get_v with_o much_o labour_n our_o lord_n be_v fain_o to_o find_v mean_n to_o make_v i_o content_a to_o accept_v which_o be_v in_o these_o latter_a year_n to_o delight_v and_o regale_n i_o in_o great_a measure_n i_o never_o presume_v to_o desire_v that_o he_o will_v give_v i_o even_o so_o much_o as_o any_o tenderness_n of_o devotion_n but_o i_o only_o beg_v so_o great_a mercy_n as_o may_v win_v he_o to_o allow_v i_o pardon_v for_o my_o sin_n already_o commit_v and_o so_o much_o grace_n as_o that_o i_o may_v commit_v no_o more_o but_o i_o see_v how_o great_a they_o be_v dare_v never_o advise_o desire_v any_o regalo_n or_o spiritual_a delight_n at_o his_o hand_n for_o i_o think_v he_o show_v i_o pity_n enough_o and_o it_o be_v real_o a_o very_a eminent_a mercy_n to_o consent_v that_o i_o shall_v arrive_v to_o be_v in_o his_o presence_n consider_v how_o well_o i_o know_v that_o if_o himself_o have_v not_o procure_v it_o i_o shall_v never_o have_v come_v only_o once_o in_o my_o whole_a life_n i_o remember_v that_o whilst_o i_o be_v in_o great_a dryness_n of_o devotion_n i_o desire_v he_o to_o give_v i_o some_o little_a spiritual_a gust_n but_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o reflect_v upon_o what_o i_o have_v do_v i_o remain_v so_o full_a of_o confusion_n by_o it_o that_o the_o only_o vexation_n i_o have_v to_o see_v myself_o with_o so_o little_a humility_n do_v give_v i_o that_o very_a advantage_n which_o i_o have_v presume_v to_o beg_v i_o be_v not_o ignorant_a that_o it_o may_v be_v no_o way_n a_o unlawful_a thing_n to_o desire_v it_o but_o i_o conceive_v that_o this_o be_v true_a for_o they_o who_o be_v well_o dispose_v to_o receive_v it_o by_o their_o have_v procure_v true_a devotion_n with_o all_o their_o power_n which_o consist_v in_o not_o offend_v almighty_a god_n and_o in_o be_v incline_v and_o resolve_v to_o do_v all_o that_o which_o be_v good_a and_o i_o think_v those_o tear_n of_o i_o be_v but_o faint_a and_o feminine_a tear_n and_o without_o any_o force_n or_o strength_n since_o i_o obtain_v not_o that_o by_o they_o which_o i_o desire_v though_o yet_o upon_o the_o whole_a matter_n i_o also_o believe_v that_o they_o be_v useful_a to_o i_o as_o i_o have_v say_v for_o in_o particular_a after_o those_o two_o several_a time_n of_o that_o so_o great_a compunction_n and_o travail_v of_o hart_n which_o i_o have_v i_o begin_v to_o give_v myself_o more_o to_o prayer_n and_o to_o interest_n myself_o less_a in_o such_o thing_n as_o may_v do_v i_o hurt_v though_o yet_o i_o do_v not_o utter_o give_v they_o over_o but_o god_n as_o i_o be_v say_v go_v help_v i_o to_o withdraw_v myself_o out_o of_o those_o danger_n for_o his_o divine_a majesty_n do_v but_o expect_v some_o preparation_n or_o disposition_n in_o i_o that_o so_o his_o spiritual_a favour_n may_v grow_v on_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o i_o shall_v relate_v our_o lord_n be_v not_o accustom_v to_o grant_v they_o but_o to_o such_o as_o maintain_v their_o conscience_n in_o more_o purity_n then_o i_o have_v former_o possess_v the_o ten_o chapter_n she_o begin_v to_o declare_v the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n do_v she_o in_o prayer_n and_o speak_v of_o that_o wherein_o we_o may_v be_v able_a to_o help_v ourselves_o and_o how_o much_o it_o also_o import_v we_o to_o understand_v the_o say_v favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v us._n she_o humble_o desire_v of_o he_o to_o who_o she_o send_v this_o account_n of_o herself_o that_o whatsoever_o she_o shall_v declare_v from_o hence_o forward_o may_v remain_v in_o secret_a with_o he_o since_o he_o have_v command_v she_o to_o set_v down_o in_o so_o particular_a a_o manner_n the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v she_o i_o enjoy_v sometime_o as_o i_o say_v some_o beginning_n of_o that_o which_o i_o shall_v now_o declare_v though_o it_o use_v to_o pass_v away_o very_o quick_o it_o fall_v out_o in_o this_o representation_n whereof_o i_o speak_v when_o i_o place_v myself_o near_o christ_n our_o lord_n yea_o and_o sometime_o also_o when_o i_o will_v be_v read_v that_o there_o will_v come_v sudden_o upon_o i_o and_o without_o either_o expectation_n or_o any_o immediate_a preparation_n on_o my_o part_n such_o a_o evident_a feel_n of_o the_o favour_n presence_n of_o almighty_a god_n as_o that_o i_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n doubt_n but_o that_o either_o he_o be_v within_o i_o or_o else_o i_o all_o ingulfed_a in_o he_o this_o be_v not_o in_o the_o manner_n of_o a_o vision_n but_o i_o think_v they_o call_v it_o mystical_a theology_n and_o it_o suspend_v the_o soul_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o she_o seem_v to_o be_v whole_o out_o of_o herself_o the_o will_n be_v in_o act_n of_o love_a the_o memory_n seem_v to_o i_o to_o be_v in_o a_o manner_n lose_v the_o understanding_n in_o my_o opinion_n it_o discourse_v not_o &_o although_o it_o be_v not_o lose_v yet_o it_o work_v not_o in_o that_o kind_n as_o i_o be_v say_v but_o remain_v as_o it_o be_v amazed_z to_o consider_v how_o much_o it_o understand_v though_o yet_o it_o please_v god_n that_o it_o understand_v itself_o also_o not_o to_o understand_v full_o any_o part_n of_o that_o which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n represent_v to_o it_o before_o this_o time_n i_o have_v be_v use_v to_o find_v a_o very_a constant_a and_o continual_a tenderness_n or_o sweetness_n which_o i_o think_v may_v in_o some_o part_n be_v procure_v and_o it_o be_v a_o regalo_n which_o be_v neither_o whole_o sensual_a nor_o whole_o spiritual_a but_o it_o be_v whole_o the_o gift_n and_o blessing_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o it_o seem_v that_o we_o may_v great_o help_v towards_o the_o obtain_n this_o for_o ourselves_o by_o consider_v our_o own_o baseness_n and_o the_o ingratitude_n which_o we_o use_v towards_o almighty_a god_n how_o much_o he_o do_v for_o we_o his_o passion_n and_o grievous_a torment_n his_o whole_a life_n which_o be_v so_o full_a of_o affliction_n to_o delight_v ourselves_o in_o consider_v his_o work_n and_o his_o greatness_n &_o how_o much_o he_o love_v we_o and_o many_o other_o such_o thing_n as_o these_o upon_o which_o whosoever_o shall_v have_v care_n to_o profit_n will_v be_v able_a to_o fall_v many_o time_n though_o yet_o he_o have_v just_a then_o no_o particular_a design_n that_o way_n and_o if_o together_o with_o these_o reflection_n the_o party_n fall_v out_o to_o be_v possess_v and_o seize_v with_o any_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n the_o soul_n will_v be_v all_o regale_v the_o hart_n will_v be_v full_a of_o tenderness_n and_o relent_a and_o tear_n will_v also_o abound_v which_o sometime_o we_o shall_v seem_v to_o have_v get_v as_o it_o be_v by_o force_n and_o at_o other_o time_n
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with_o perfection_n which_o carry_v all_o kind_n of_o blessing_n in_o company_n thereof_o for_o the_o matter_n be_v that_o we_o set_v so_o high_a a_o price_n upon_o ourselves_o and_o we_o be_v withal_o so_o slow_a in_o give_v our_o heart_n impediment_n total_o to_o god_n that_o as_o his_o divine_a majesty_n on_o the_o one_o side_n will_v not_o permit_v that_o we_o shall_v enjoy_v so_o precious_a a_o thing_n without_o pay_v well_o for_o it_o so_o on_o the_o other_o we_o never_o make_v a_o end_n of_o dispose_v ourselves_o therein_o as_o we_o ought_v i_o be_o able_a to_o see_v well_o enough_o that_o there_o be_v nothing_o at_o all_o in_o this_o world_n with_o which_o so_o great_a a_o treasure_n can_v be_v buy_v but_o yet_o if_o we_o do_v indeed_o what_o we_o can_v by_o not_o fasten_v ourselves_o to_o any_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n but_o that_o all_o our_o care_n and_o consideration_n be_v sent-up_a to_o heaven_n i_o be_o confident_a that_o this_o blessing_n will_v be_v impart_v to_o we_o with_o very_o great_a speed_n if_o speedy_o and_o entire_o as_o i_o be_v say_v we_o dispose_v ourselves_o to_o the_o receive_v thereof_o as_o some_o saint_n have_v do_v but_o the_o misery_n be_v that_o we_o think_v we_o give_v god_n all_o and_o the_o truth_n be_v that_o we_o offer_v his_o divine_a majesty_n but_o the_o yearly_a rent_n or_o revenue_n and_o fruit_n ourselves_o remain_v still_o with_o the_o root_n and_o possession_n of_o the_o land_n we_o resolve_v to_o make_v ourselves_o poor_a for_o god_n sake_n and_o it_o be_v a_o point_n of_o great_a merit_n to_o do_v so_o but_o yet_o we_o return_v many_o time_n to_o take_v care_n and_o to_o use_v diligence_n enough_o that_o nothing_o may_v be_v want_v to_o we_o i_o say_v not_o of_o that_o which_o be_v necessary_a but_o sometime_o also_o even_o of_o that_o which_o be_v superfluous_a and_o to_o be_v procure_v also_o to_o make_v friend_n who_o may_v help_v we_o to_o it_o and_o so_o put_v we_o still_o into_o more_o care_n yea_o &_o perhaps_o into_o more_o danger_n too_o that_o so_o we_o may_v grow_v to_o want_v nothing_o then_o even_o we_o have_v before_o when_o we_o be_v the_o possessor_n of_o our_o own_o estate_n it_o seem_v also_o that_o when_o we_o come_v to_o be_v religious_a or_o as_o soon_o as_o we_o begin_v to_o lead_v a_o spiritual_a life_n and_o to_o aspire_v towards_o perfection_n we_o gave-ove_a to_o care_v for_o the_o honour_n of_o this_o world_n and_o yet_o as_o soon_o as_o ever_o any_o creature_n begin_v but_o to_o touch_v we_o in_o that_o kind_n we_o forget_v that_o we_o have_v already_o give_v it_o away_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o we_o resolve_v sometime_o to_o snatch_v it_o again_o out_o of_o his_o hand_n and_o run_v away_o with_o it_o even_o after_o we_o seem_v to_o have_v voluntary_o make_v he_o the_o entire_a lord_n thereof_o and_o just_o thus_o do_v it_o also_o happen_v sometime_o in_o other_o thing_n now_o this_o indeed_o be_v a_o very_a delicate_a fine_a foolish_a ridiculous_a way_n of_o 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but_o by_o drop_n and_o drop_n and_o though_o it_o shall_v grow_v to_o cost_v we_o all_o the_o labour_n and_o trouble_n of_o the_o whole_a world_n a_o very_a great_a deal_n of_o mercy_n do_v our_o bless_a lord_n show_v to_o that_o person_n to_o who_o he_o give_v the_o firm_a purpose_n and_o grace_n to_o resolve_v upon_o procure_v this_o blessing_n with_o all_o his_o power_n for_o certain_o if_o such_o a_o one_o shall_v persevere_v almighty_a god_n will_v deny_v himself_o to_o no_o creature_n but_o will_v by_o little_a and_o little_a go_v enable_v that_o soul_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o at_o length_n it_o shall_v find_v itself_o to_o be_v victorious_a but_o i_o say_v that_o the_o party_n must_v have_v courage_n because_o the_o devil_n do_v ordinary_o in_o the_o beginning_n dispose_v himself_o to_o represent_v yea_o and_o frame_v very_o great_a difficulty_n to_o the_o end_n that_o so_o we_o may_v not_o hold-on_a this_o way_n in_o good_a earnest_n as_o one_o who_o know_v very_o well_o what_o prejudice_n be_v like_a to_o grow_v to_o he_o by_o it_o not_o only_o through_o his_o lose_v the_o soul_n of_o that_o party_n but_o of_o many_o other_o also_o if_o he_o who_o begin_v to_o serve_v god_n endeavour_v once_o by_o his_o favour_n to_o arrive_v to_o the_o perfection_n thereof_o for_o i_o believe_v that_o such_o a_o one_o will_v never_o go_v alone_o to_o heaven_n but_o will_v carry_v very_o many_o with_o he_o and_o that_o like_o a_o good_a captain_n he_o shall_v find_v that_o god_n will_v give_v he_o a_o fair_a company_n so_o that_o since_o the_o devil_n will_v be_v sure_a to_o lay_v such_o danger_n and_o difficulty_n in_o his_o way_n there_o will_v be_v need_n of_o very_o great_a courage_n and_o resolution_n to_o keep_v one_o from_o run_v away_o yea_o and_o also_o there_o will_v be_v need_n of_o much_o and_o much_o and_o very_o much_o favour_n and_o mercy_n of_o almighty_a god_n for_o this_o purpose_n now_o therefore_o to_o speak_v of_o the_o beginning_n of_o such_o as_o be_v already_o resolve_v to_o go_v in_o search_n after_o so_o great_a a_o blessing_n and_o to_o obtain_v what_o they_o aspire_v to_o in_o the_o end_n for_o as_o for_o that_o whereof_o i_o be_v go_v once_o to_o speak_v concern_v mystical_a theology_n for_o so_o i_o think_v it_o be_v call_v i_o will_v treat_v thereof_o afterward_o the_o great_a and_o great_a trouble_n consist_v ever_o in_o these_o very_a beginning_n for_o those_o be_v they_o which_o cost_v most_o when_o a_o soul_n come_v to_o give_v our_o lord_n the_o whole_a stock_n and_o in_o the_o other_o degree_n of_o prayer_n which_o follow_v the_o most_o part_n of_o that_o which_o pass_v be_v
a_o firm_a foundation_n so_o that_o the_o true_a love_n of_o god_n consist_v not_o in_o have_v tear_n or_o tenderness_n or_o spiritual_a gust_n which_o we_o be_v wont_n for_o the_o most_o part_n to_o desire_v and_o to_o take_v comfort_n in_o but_o to_o serve_v his_o divine_a majesty_n with_o word_n justice_n and_o fortitude_n and_o humility_n for_o in_o that_o other_o course_n i_o think_v we_o be_v rather_o on_o the_o take_a hand_n then_o on_o the_o give_n any_o thing_n of_o our_o own_o as_o for_o poor_a weak_a silly_a woman_n and_o who_o be_v of_o little_a courage_n like_v i_o i_o think_v i_o can_v find_v it_o fit_a that_o our_o lord_n shall_v carry_v they_o on_o with_o regalo_n that_o so_o they_o may_v be_v the_o better_o induce_v to_o suffer_v those_o affliction_n which_o it_o have_v please_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o they_o shall_v bear_v but_o for_o the_o true_a servant_n of_o god_n man_n of_o substance_n and_o solid_a way_n man_n of_o learning_n and_o understanding_n to_o make_v so_o much_o reflection_n upon_o god_n be_v not_o give_v they_o tenderness_n of_o devotion_n as_o i_o see_v they_o do_v i_o confess_v it_o give_v i_o disgust_v even_o to_o hear_v it_o i_o say_v not_o but_o that_o they_o shall_v receive_v these_o spiritual_a delight_n when_o god_n give_v they_o yea_o and_o that_o they_o shall_v esteem_v they_o very_o much_o because_o in_o that_o case_n his_o divine_a majesty_n will_v have_v see_v that_o they_o be_v convenient_a for_o they_o but_o only_o that_o when_o they_o have_v they_o not_o they_o shall_v not_o vex_v themselves_o and_o that_o they_o shall_v also_o understand_v that_o when_o god_n give_v they_o not_o they_o be_v not_o convenient_a for_o they_o but_o that_o they_o ought_v to_o be_v and_o remain_v the_o lord_n of_o themselves_o in_o all_o thing_n let_v they_o believe_v that_o this_o be_v a_o defect_n and_o fault_n in_o they_o for_o i_o have_v see_v and_o try_v it_o let_v they_o believe_v that_o this_o be_v a_o imperfection_n and_o that_o it_o be_v not_o to_o walk_v on_o with_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n but_o rather_o like_o weak_a and_o cowardly_a people_n who_o dare_v not_o set_v upon_o difficulty_n and_o i_o say_v not_o this_o so_o much_o for_o they_o who_o be_v but_o beginner_n though_o yet_o i_o press_v it_o so_o far_o because_o it_o import_v very_o much_o that_o they_o begin_v with_o this_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n and_o resolution_n but_o even_o for_o other_o also_o for_o there_o be_v many_o who_o have_v already_o begin_v and_o yet_o who_o never_o in_o fine_a resolve_v upon_o do_v herein_o home_n what_o they_o ought_v and_o i_o believe_v that_o this_o proceed_v in_o great_a part_n from_o their_o not_o resolve_v to_o take_v up_o and_o carry_v this_o cross_n from_o the_o very_a beginning_n for_o such_o shall_v go_v on_o still_o afflict_v as_o conceave_a that_o all_o that_o be_v nothing_o which_o they_o do_v because_o when_o the_o understanding_n gives-ove_a to_o work_v and_o act_n they_o use_v not_o to_o be_v able_a to_o endure_v it_o and_o yet_o perhaps_o they_o will_v grow_v even_o fat_a and_o strong_a at_o the_o very_a self_n same_o time_n though_o themselves_o understand_v it_o not_o to_o be_v so_o we_o be_v to_o think_v and_o know_v that_o our_o lord_n do_v not_o consider_v and_o care_n for_o these_o thing_n for_o howsoever_o ourselves_o may_v think_v that_o they_o be_v fault_n yet_o they_o be_v not_o so_o indeed_o and_o his_o divine_a majesty_n know_v our_o misery_n and_o base_a condition_n much_o better_o than_o ourselves_o and_o consider_v that_o these_o soul_n desire_v to_o be_v think_v always_o upon_o he_o and_o that_o they_o desire_v to_o love_v he_o and_o this_o be_v that_o firm_a purpose_n which_o he_o value_v and_o expect_v at_o our_o hand_n but_o that_o other_o be_v but_o a_o affliction_n which_o we_o bring_v upon_o ourselves_o for_o it_o serve_v but_o to_o disquiet_v the_o soul_n and_o to_o give_v occasion_n that_o if_o before_o it_o be_v unable_a to_o take_v any_o benefit_n by_o serve_v god_n for_o one_o hour_n it_o may_v now_o be_v so_o for_o four_o and_o many_o time_n for_o i_o have_v very_o great_a experience_n of_o this_o case_n and_o know_v it_o to_o be_v true_a because_o i_o have_v both_o consider_v it_o with_o care_n and_o have_v also_o treat_v about_o it_o with_o spiritual_a person_n this_o grow_v even_o from_o our_o corporal_a indisposition_n for_o we_o be_v so_o very_o total_o infirm_a that_o this_o poor_a little_a wretched_a soul_n of_o we_o participate_v in_o the_o misery_n of_o the_o body_n and_o even_o the_o alteration_n of_o the_o weather_n and_o the_o revolution_n of_o their_o own_o natural_a humour_n be_v many_o time_n the_o occasion_n why_o without_o even_o any_o fault_n of_o their_o own_o they_o can_v well_o do_v even_o what_o they_o will_v but_o be_v fain_o to_o suffer_v thus_o in_o all_o kind_n and_o when_o they_o strive_v to_o force_v themselves_o in_o these_o coniuncture_n of_o time_n it_o prove_v to_o be_v so_o much_o the_o worse_o with_o they_o and_o the_o inconvenience_n will_v last_v so_o much_o the_o long_o but_o discretion_n must_v be_v use_v herein_o to_o weigh_v when_o this_o effect_n proceed_v from_o this_o cause_n and_o they_o must_v not_o oppress_v and_o stifle_v this_o poor_a soul_n but_o understand_v and_o consider_v that_o it_o be_v sick_a let_v the_o hour_n of_o prayer_n in_o god_n name_n be_v change_v yea_o and_o many_o time_n it_o will_v be_v fit_a to_o do_v so_o for_o some_o day_n and_o let_v they_o pass_v through_o this_o bannishment_n of_o they_o as_o well_o as_o they_o can_v since_o it_o be_v misfortune_n and_o misery_n enough_o for_o a_o soul_n which_o do_v indeed_o love_v almighty_a god_n to_o see_v that_o she_o live_v in_o so_o great_a misery_n and_o that_o she_o be_v no_o way_n able_a to_o do_v even_o what_o herself_o desire_v in_o regard_n that_o she_o be_v lodge_v with_o so_o untoward_a and_o ill_o a_o host_n as_o this_o body_n be_v i_o say_v this_o be_v to_o be_v do_v with_o 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all_o their_o hope_n be_v lose_v though_o for_o my_o part_n i_o conceive_v that_o all_o that_o loss_n be_v gain_n but_o let_v they_o advice_n as_o i_o have_v say_v represent_v themselves_o as_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n and_o without_o weary_v of_o the_o understanding_n be_v speak_v and_o regal_v themselves_o with_o he_o and_o not_o tire_v their_o wit_n to_o find_v out_o and_o frame_v certain_a discourse_n but_o let_v they_o only_o present_v their_o necessity_n and_o the_o reason_n which_o he_o may_v have_v not_o so_o much_o as_o to_o endure_v they_o there_o some_o one_o of_o these_o consideration_n will_v serve_v at_o one_o time_n and_o some_o other_o at_o a_o other_o that_o so_o the_o soul_n may_v not_o be_v weary_a of_o feed_v always_o upon_o one_o dish_n these_o particular_n be_v both_o very_a gustfull_a and_o very_o profitable_a also_o if_o once_o the_o party_n be_v accustom_v to_o feed_v on_o they_o for_o they_o use_v to_o bring_v great_a support_n and_o strength_n for_o the_o life_n of_o the_o soul_n &_o many_o advamtage_n also_o otherwise_o i_o will_v declare_v myself_o further_o upon_o this_o matter_n because_o all_o these_o point_n concern_v prayer_n carry_v their_o difficulty_n along_o with_o they_o and_o unless_o there_o be_v a_o good_a director_n at_o hand_n they_o be_v very_o hard_a to_o be_v understand_v and_o this_o be_v the_o very_a cause_n why_o though_o i_o will_v fain_o make_v short_a and_o that_o just_o because_o it_o will_v suffice_v for_o i_o but_o even_o to_o touch_v they_o by_o reason_n of_o the_o great_a capacity_n of_o he_o who_o command_v i_o to_o write_v these_o particular_n of_o prayer_n yet_o my_o dulness_n be_v not_o able_a to_o declare_v &_o explicate_v in_o few_o word_n a_o thing_n which_o it_o so_o much_o import_v to_o be_v well_o understand_v and_o because_o i_o suffer_v so_o very_a much_o by_o use_v only_a book_n when_o i_o begin_v the_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n i_o have_v compassion_n of_o all_o they_o 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we_o upon_o what_o it_o be_v convenient_a for_o we_o to_o feed_v so_o that_o it_o import_v we_o very_o much_o that_o the_o spirit_n director_n be_v well_o advise_v &_o i_o mean_v also_o that_o he_o be_v of_o good_a understanding_n and_o experience_n and_o if_o with_o this_o he_o be_v also_o learned_a it_o will_v be_v of_o mighty_a importance_n but_o yet_o still_o when_o all_o these_o three_o part_n shall_v not_o chance_v to_o meet_v together_o in_o the_o same_o man_n the_o two_o former_a quality_n of_o these_o three_o will_v fall_v out_o to_o import_v more_o than_o the_o three_o because_o they_o may_v easy_o procure_v to_o consult_v with_o such_o as_o be_v learned_a whensoever_o they_o shall_v have_v need_n thereof_o
improve_v so_o much_o the_o more_o as_o also_o because_o by_o this_o time_n she_o be_v grow_v to_o approach_v near_o to_o that_o virtue_n and_o power_n from_o whence_o all_o virtue_n proceed_v which_o be_v almighty_a god_n because_o his_o divine_a majesty_n do_v not_o only_o then_o communicate_v himself_o to_o that_o soul_n but_o he_o be_v also_o please_v that_o she_o shall_v find_v in_o what_o sort_n it_o be_v that_o he_o communicate_v himself_o to_o she_o in_o arrive_v once_o to_o this_o place_n she_o instant_o begin_v to_o loose_v the_o appetite_n of_o all_o thing_n concern_v this_o world_n and_o i_o can_v blame_v she_o for_o already_o she_o see_v very_o clear_o that_o one_o moment_n of_o that_o gust_n be_v not_o to_o be_v purchase_v here_o and_o that_o no_o riches_n nor_o dominion_n nor_o all_o the_o honour_n nor_o delight_n of_o this_o world_n be_v able_a to_o give_v such_o contentment_n and_o satisfaction_n as_o this_o though_o it_o be_v but_o for_o the_o twinkle_n of_o a_o eye_n because_o this_o be_v true_a contentment_n and_o such_o a_o one_o as_o we_o real_o see_v and_o find_v to_o content_v we_o indeed_o for_o as_o for_o those_o other_o of_o this_o world_n it_o may_v well_o go_v for_o a_o wonder_n if_o we_o can_v so_o much_o as_o tell_v even_o wherein_o the_o contentment_n of_o any_o thing_n do_v consist_v nor_o do_v there_o ever_o fail_v to_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o measure_v cast_v between_o the_o yea_o and_o the_o no_o in_o any_o of_o they_o but_o here_o all_o be_v in_o the_o affirmative_a and_o profess_v to_o say_v yea_o as_o long_o as_o it_o last_v and_o the_o no_o come_v not_o in_o till_o afterward_o because_o then_o they_o see_v that_o the_o business_n be_v grow_v to_o be_v at_o a_o end_n and_o that_o he_o can_v recover_v it_o again_o nor_o know_v indeed_o how_o to_o go_v about_o it_o for_o though_o he_o shall_v even_o half_o kill_v himself_o with_o do_v penance_n and_o make_v much_o prayer_n and_o use_v in_o fine_a all_o other_o possible_a diligence_n yet_o will_v it_o all_o serve_v to_o very_o little_a purpose_n unless_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o impart_v it_o but_o almighty_a god_n be_v please_v here_o for_o his_o own_o greatness_n that_o this_o soul_n shall_v now_o understand_v that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o be_v so_o near_o she_o that_o now_o there_o be_v no_o need_n of_o send_v any_o messenger_n to_o she_o but_o only_o that_o she_o herself_o may_v speak_v with_o he_o though_o yet_o not_o by_o word_n of_o mouth_n because_o then_o he_o be_v already_o so_o near_o she_o that_o he_o understand_v she_o as_o a_o man_n may_v say_v even_o by_o the_o very_a lest_o stir_v of_o her_o lip_n but_o now_o it_o may_v chance_n seem_v to_o some_o to_o be_v impertinent_a for_o i_o to_o talk_v after_o this_o manner_n in_o regard_n the_o world_n know_v well_o enough_o that_o our_o lord_n do_v ever_o hear_v we_o &_o be_v ever_o present_a with_o we_o and_o there_o can_v be_v no_o doubt_n at_o all_o but_o that_o this_o be_v true_a 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find_v all_o good_a thing_n together_o and_o she_o do_v not_o very_o well_o know_v even_o what_o she_o have_v find_v nor_o yet_o can_v i_o tell_v how_o to_o give_v it_o to_o be_v understand_v for_o there_o will_v here_o be_v need_n of_o learning_n for_o many_o purpose_n and_o here_o will_v it_o come_v very_o well_o in_o to_o give_v to_o understand_v the_o difference_n betwixt_o general_n and_o particular_a help_n or_o succour_n of_o grace_n whereof_o many_o be_v ignorant_a and_o our_o lord_n in_o this_o prayer_n be_v please_v that_o our_o soul_n shall_v see_v this_o particular_a succour_n as_o it_o be_v with_o her_o very_a eye_n and_o many_o other_o thing_n also_o which_o may_v perhaps_o be_v ill_o declare_v here_o by_o i_o but_o since_o understand_v person_n be_v to_o see_v what_o i_o write_v and_o who_o will_v know_v if_o it_o have_v any_o error_n in_o it_o wherein_o i_o may_v easy_o be_v find_v faulty_a enough_o through_o want_n both_o of_o learning_n &_o spirit_n i_o be_o in_o the_o less_o pain_n and_o care_n consider_v that_o this_o go_v into_o the_o hand_n of_o such_o as_o will_v both_o understand_v it_o &_o will_v blot_n also_o any_o such_o thing_n out_o as_o may_v have_v be_v ill_o say_v yet_o i_o will_v fain_o give_v this_o to_o be_v understand_v because_o these_o be_v the_o beginning_n and_o when_o our_o lord_n dispose_v himself_o first_o to_o do_v these_o favour_n the_o soul_n herself_o do_v not_o understand_v they_o nor_o do_v she_o know_v what_o to_o do_v with_o herself_o for_o if_o almighty_a god_n conduct_v and_o guide_v she_o by_o the_o way_n of_o fear_n as_o he_o do_v i_o the_o trouble_n be_v very_o great_a unless_o there_o be_v some_o at_o hand_n who_o can_v understand_v she_o but_o then_o it_o be_v a_o great_a gust_n for_o she_o to_o see_v herself_o well_o describe_v by_o they_o for_o then_o she_o evident_o find_v herself_o to_o be_v in_o that_o way_n and_o it_o be_v also_o of_o great_a benefit_n to_o know_v what_o one_o have_v to_o do_v in_o 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use_v to_o work_v in_o the_o soul_n to_o the_o end_n that_o it_o may_v be_v understand_v by_o they_o when_o it_o be_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n i_o say_v that_o it_o may_v be_v understand_v according_a to_o what_o we_o can_v think_v we_o understand_v in_o this_o world_n though_o it_o will_v always_o be_v very_o well_o do_v to_o go_v on_o with_o circumspection_n and_o fear_n for_o though_o it_o be_v indeed_o of_o god_n yet_o the_o devil_n can_v tell_v how_o to_o transform_v himself_o sometime_o into_o a_o angel_n of_o light_n and_o if_o a_o soul_n be_v not_o well_o exercise_v in_o prayer_n she_o will_v not_o understand_v it_o well_o and_o indeed_o to_o be_v exercise_v well_o enough_o to_o understand_v this_o point_n as_o it_o deserve_v the_o soul_n must_v be_v arrive_v to_o the_o high_a degree_n of_o prayer_n the_o little_a time_n i_o have_v will_v allow_v i_o no_o great_a help_n for_o what_o i_o be_o designe_v and_o therefore_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v need_n to_o do_v it_o himself_o for_o i_o must_v be_v stir_v up_o and_o down_o in_o the_o community_n &_o have_v many_o other_o business_n to_o do_v since_o i_o be_o at_o this_o present_a in_o a_o house_n which_o be_v but_o beginning_n now_o as_o i_o shall_v show_v afterward_o and_o therefore_o i_o be_o write_v this_o without_o any_o such_o rest_n and_o quiet_a kind_n of_o be_v as_o be_v convenient_a so_o that_o i_o must_v do_v it_o by_o little_a and_o little_a and_o by_o fit_n but_o i_o can_v wish_v i_o be_v now_o at_o more_o leisure_n for_o when_o our_o lord_n give_v a_o spirit_n to_o do_v a_o thing_n it_o be_v easy_o and_o much_o
which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n give_v to_o that_o soul_n to_o show_v that_o he_o choose_v she_o out_o for_o great_a thing_n if_o she_o will_v make_v herself_o fit_a to_o receive_v they_o i_o say_v this_o be_v a_o mighty_a gift_n yea_o and_o far_o great_a than_o i_o be_o any_o way_n able_a to_o express_v and_o it_o be_v matter_n of_o much_o grief_n to_o i_o that_o as_o i_o be_v say_v i_o know_v many_o soul_n which_o arrive_v thus_o far_o and_o that_o yet_o there_o be_v so_o very_a few_o which_o pass_v further_a at_o least_o as_o they_o ought_v to_o pass_v that_o i_o be_o even_o ashamed_a to_o confess_v it_o i_o say_v not_o that_o there_o be_v so_o very_a few_o who_o pass_v on_o for_o it_o may_v very_o well_o be_v that_o there_o be_v many_o for_o god_n do_v not_o sustain_v we_o for_o nothing_o but_o i_o only_o speak_v of_o such_o as_o i_o have_v see_v for_o my_o part_n i_o will_v earnest_o wish_v they_o not_o to_o hide_v their_o talon_n since_o it_o seem_v almighty_a god_n choose_v they_o out_o for_o the_o profit_n of_o many_o other_o and_o especial_o in_o these_o time_n when_o it_o be_v so_o necessary_a that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n shall_v have_v strong_a friend_n to_o support_v and_o uphold_v such_o as_o be_v weak_a and_o let_v they_o all_o who_o find_v that_o they_o have_v receive_v this_o great_a favour_n at_o our_o lord_n hand_n esteem_v themselves_o for_o strong_a if_o they_o know_v how_o to_o correspond_v well_o with_o the_o law_n which_o a_o firm_a and_o fast_o friendship_n even_o of_o this_o very_a world_n require_v and_o if_o they_o will_v not_o let_v they_o apprehend_v very_o much_o and_o fear_v that_o they_o shall_v do_v themselves_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o hurt_n yea_o and_o i_o pray_v god_n that_o it_o may_v be_v to_o none_o but_o themselves_o that_o prayer_n which_o the_o soul_n be_v to_o do_v in_o these_o time_n of_o enjoy_v this_o quiet_a be_v but_o only_o note_n that_o with_o suavitie_n and_o without_o noise_n she_o employ_v the_o will_n to_o understand_v with_o much_o calmness_n and_o discretion_n that_o the_o soul_n be_v not_o to_o negotiate_v with_o almighty_a god_n by_o the_o strength_n of_o the_o arme._n i_o call_v it_o noise_n if_o the_o understanding_n go_v seekingout_n many_o word_n and_o consideration_n to_o give_v thanks_o for_o this_o benefit_n and_o to_o make_v up_o a_o mighty_a heap_n of_o her_o defect_n and_o sin_n to_o show_v that_o she_o deserve_v not_o this_o favour_n for_o all_o be_v in_o motion_n now_o and_o the_o understanding_n represent_v many_o thing_n to_o we_o and_o the_o memory_n be_v boil_v up_o and_o real_o these_o power_n of_o the_o mind_n be_v wont_a to_o give_v i_o trouble_v enough_o at_o time_n and_o in_o regard_n that_o i_o have_v but_o a_o weak_a memory_n i_o can_v in_o these_o case_n subdue_v they_o but_o those_o other_o consideration_n and_o mental_a discourse_n be_v indeed_o no_o better_o then_o as_o so_o many_o great_a log_n of_o wood_n which_o be_v lay_v with_o small_a discretion_n upon_o that_o little_a spark_n of_o fire_n to_o quench_v it_o and_o therefore_o let_v she_o know_v and_o say_v with_o great_a humility_n o_o lord_n what_o be_o i_o able_a to_o do_v here_o what_o have_v this_o servant_n or_o slave_n to_o do_v with_o the_o lord_n of_o heaven_n and_o earth_n or_o else_o she_o may_v use_v such_o other_o word_n as_o shall_v present_v themselves_o then_o in_o the_o way_n of_o love._n but_o note_v here_o that_o she_o must_v be_v very_o very_o well_o ground_v upon_o know_v that_o to_o be_v true_a which_o she_o say_v now_o as_o for_o that_o which_o concern_v the_o understanding_n let_v the_o soul_n consider_v it_o no_o otherwise_o then_o mere_o as_o if_o it_o be_v a_o miller_n and_o if_o she_o will_v needs_o give_v it_o part_n of_o that_o which_o she_o enjoy_v or_o shall_v labour_v to_o recollect_v it_o also_o to_o herself_o she_o will_v find_v that_o it_o be_v not_o to_o prove_v well_o with_o she_o for_o many_o time_n it_o be_v see_v that_o during_o this_o union_n and_o repose_v or_o rest_n in_o the_o will_n the_o understanding_n be_v still_o much_o out_o of_o order_n and_o if_o the_o will_n can_v be_v be_v able_a to_o arrest_v it_o it_o be_v better_a to_o let_v it_o alone_o then_o that_o she_o shall_v still_o go_v hunt_v after_o it_o i_o say_v the_o will._n but_o let_v it_o remain_v enjoy_v that_o favour_n and_o be_v recollect_v and_o shutup_a in_o itself_o like_o a_o wise_a comparison_n bee_n for_o if_o no_o one_o of_o the_o bee_n shall_v go_v into_o the_o hive_n but_o all_o be_v gad_v abroad_o so_o to_o be_v still_o ferch_v one_o another_o home_n there_o will_v little_a store_n of_o honey_n be_v make_v and_o so_o a_o soul_n will_v loose_v very_o much_o if_o she_o be_v not_o well_o advertise_v of_o this_o and_o especial_o if_o the_o understanding_n be_v quick_a and_o sharp_a for_o if_o once_o such_o a_o one_o begin_v to_o put_v discourse_n in_o order_n and_o light_n upon_o some_o pretty_a reason_n to_o the_o purpose_n she_o will_v if_o they_o be_v handsome_o say_v begin_v to_o think_v that_o she_o perform_v some_o great_a exploit_n but_o the_o discourse_n which_o be_v to_o be_v use_v here_o must_v be_v a_o know_v clear_o and_o confess_v plain_o that_o there_o be_v no_o other_o reason_n at_o all_o why_o almighty_a god_n shall_v ever_o do_v we_o so_o great_a a_o favour_n than_o his_o own_o only_o goodness_n and_o to_o consider_v that_o we_o be_v now_o approach_v so_o near_o to_o he_o and_o to_o beg_v favour_n of_o he_o and_o to_o beseech_v he_o also_o for_o his_o church_n and_o for_o all_o such_o as_o have_v recommend_v themselves_o to_o we_o and_o so_o also_o for_o the_o soul_n in_o purgatory_n and_o this_o not_o by_o the_o noise_n of_o word_n but_o only_o by_o a_o feel_a desire_n to_o be_v hear_v by_o his_o divine_a majesty_n this_o be_v a_o prayer_n which_o comprehend_v very_o much_o and_o we_o shall_v obtain_v more_o thereby_o then_o by_o multiply_v much_o roll_a discourse_n by_o way_n of_o the_o understanding_n but_o let_v the_o will_n stirr-up_a herself_o by_o some_o reason_n which_o will_v easy_o represent_v themselves_o to_o she_o then_o when_o she_o find_v herself_o to_o be_v so_o very_a much_o improve_v to_o quicken-up_a her_o love_n and_o to_o make_v she_o perform_v certain_a amorous_a act_n of_o how_o great_a thing_n she_o will_v be_v glad_a to_o do_v for_o one_o to_o who_o she_o owe_v so_o very_a much_o without_o admit_v and_o permit_v as_o i_o say_v that_o the_o understanding_n part_n shall_v make_v a_o noise_n in_o the_o search_n and_o pretence_n of_o do_v high_a and_o mighty_a matter_n for_o here_o any_o few_o little_a poor_a straw_n present_v and_o offered-up_a with_o humility_n and_o they_o may_v be_v sure_a enough_o to_o be_v straw_n if_o we_o bring_v they_o will_v make_v a_o great_a deal_n more_o to_o the_o purpose_n and_o will_v help_v to_o kindle_v a_o good_a fire_n more_o quick_o than_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o big_a log_n of_o wood_n will_v be_v able_a to_o do_v i_o mean_v reason_n which_o in_o our_o opinion_n shall_v be_v very_o sure_a to_o quench_v and_o putout_a the_o fire_n even_o in_o the_o turn_n of_o a_o hand_n this_o be_v good_a for_o learned_a man_n who_o command_v i_o to_o write_v all_o this_o for_o through_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n it_o may_v be_v hope_v that_o all_o of_o they_o arrive_v hither_o and_o it_o may_v perhaps_o so_o happen_v among_o they_o that_o this_o time_n will_v pass_v away_o in_o apply_v some_o place_n of_o scripture_n but_o though_o that_o kind_n of_o knowledge_n can_v not_o fail_v to_o be_v useful_a to_o they_o both_o before_o such_o occasion_n as_o these_o and_o also_o after_o yet_o at_o these_o very_a time_n of_o prayer_n there_o will_v be_v little_a occasion_n to_o use_v it_o in_o my_o opinion_n unless_o they_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o cool_v the_o feruorous_a employment_n of_o the_o will._n for_o the_o understanding_n find_v itself_o then_o to_o possess_v such_o a_o excessive_a kind_n of_o claritie_n by_o be_v so_o 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need_n also_o of_o such_o consideration_n as_o these_o and_o there_o be_v time_n when_o almighty_a god_n will_v try_v they_o nay_o it_o will_v seem_v as_o if_o this_o divine_a majesty_n will_v forsake_v they_o for_o as_o i_o have_v say_v already_o and_o i_o will_v fain_o not_o have_v it_o be_v forget_v the_o soul_n in_o this_o life_n which_o we_o live_v increase_v not_o as_o the_o body_n do_v though_o yet_o we_o say_v it_o do_v and_o real_o it_o do_v increase_v but_o yet_o a_o child_n after_o he_o be_v grow_v and_o become_v tall_a and_o prove_v to_o be_v already_o a_o man_n return_v not_o to_o decrease_v again_o and_o to_o have_v a_o little_a body_n yet_o now_o in_o the_o point_n of_o a_o soul_n our_o lord_n will_v have_v it_o be_v otherwise_o by_o what_o i_o have_v see_v of_o myself_o for_o i_o know_v it_o not_o in_o respect_n of_o other_o and_o it_o ought_v to_o humble_v we_o for_o our_o own_o great_a good_a and_o to_o the_o end_n also_o that_o we_o may_v not_o be_v negligent_a as_o long_o as_o we_o shall_v be_v in_o this_o bannishment_n since_o he_o who_o be_v high_a in_o virtue_n shall_v do_v well_o to_o fear_v himself_o most_o and_o to_o trust_v himself_o lest_o the_o time_n perhaps_o may_v come_v when_o even_o they_o who_o have_v their_o will_n so_o conform_v to_o the_o holy_a will_n of_o almighty_a god_n that_o they_o will_v rather_o be_v torment_v and_o endure_v a_o thousand_o death_n then_o swerve_v from_o it_o shall_v do_v well_o to_o be_v in_o doubt_n that_o even_o they_o may_v grow_v to_o fall_v into_o some_o great_a offence_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o so_o there_o be_v certain_a time_n when_o they_o shall_v see_v themselves_o so_o assault_v by_o temptation_n and_o persecution_n that_o to_o the_o end_n they_o may_v not_o commit_v gross_a sin_n they_o will_v have_v need_n to_o serve_v themselves_o of_o the_o first_o defensive_a weapon_n of_o prayer_n and_o return_v to_o remember_v and_o consider_v that_o all_o the_o world_n be_v final_o to_o end_v and_o that_o there_o be_v a_o heaven_n and_o a_o hell_n and_o to_o use_v such_o consideration_n as_o these_o but_o now_o return_v to_o what_o i_o be_v say_v a_o great_a foundation_n it_o be_v for_o be_v free_v from_o the_o subtle_a enterprise_n and_o gust_n which_o the_o devil_n be_v wont_a to_o give_v to_o begin_v with_o a_o firm_a document_n purpose_n at_o the_o very_a first_o to_o walk_v in_o the_o way_n of_o the_o cross_n and_o to_o desire_v no_o such_o thing_n as_o gust_n since_o our_o lord_n himself_o show_v this_o way_n of_o perfection_n by_o say_v take_v thou_o up_o thy_o cross_n and_o follow_v i_o for_o he_o be_v to_o be_v our_o pattern_n and_o whosoever_o shall_v follow_v his_o counsel_n and_o that_o for_o no_o other_o reason_n then_o to_o content_v he_o may_v be_v sure_a that_o he_o shall_v have_v nothing_o to_o fear_v and_o by_o the_o spiritual_a profit_n which_o they_o shall_v find_v in_o themselves_o they_o will_v easy_o come_v to_o know_v that_o the_o devil_n have_v no_o hand_n therein_o and_o though_o they_o shall_v even_o return_v to_o fall_v again_o there_o will_v yet_o remain_v one_o sign_n that_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v there_o which_o be_v that_o they_o will_v quick_o rise_v again_o beside_o these_o other_o which_o i_o shall_v now_o declare_v when_o it_o be_v the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n there_o will_v be_v no_o need_n at_o all_o to_o go_v in_o quest_n and_o send_v after_o certain_a reason_n to_o draw_v humility_n and_o confusion_n from_o thence_o for_o our_o bless_a lord_n himself_o be_v wont_a to_o impart_v it_o in_o those_o case_n after_o a_o very_a different_a manner_n from_o that_o which_o ourselves_o can_v procure_v by_o any_o pretty_a little_a consideration_n of_o our_o own_o all_o which_o be_v nothing_o in_o comparison_n of_o a_o certain_a true_a prayer_n humility_n that_o come_v along_o with_o a_o light_n which_o our_o lord_n instruct_v we_o in_o here_o and_o which_o breed_v such_o a_o real_a confusion_n in_o we_o 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introduce_v they_o and_o i_o have_v always_o power_n enough_o to_o do_v hurt_v so_o that_o they_o blame_v i_o without_o any_o fault_n of_o they_o nor_o do_v i_o say_v that_o they_o be_v only_o religious_a woman_n but_o other_o also_o who_o tell_v i_o truth_n because_o it_o be_v permit_v by_o thou_o when_o once_o i_o be_v say_v my_o office_n i_o who_o have_v sometime_o be_v subject_a to_o this_o temptation_n come_v to_o this_o verse_n justus_n es_fw-la domine_fw-la &_o rectum_fw-la iudicium_fw-la tuum_fw-la thou_o be_v just_a o_o lord_n and_o thy_o judgement_n be_v right_a and_o i_o begin_v to_o consider_v how_o true_a this_o be_v for_o in_o this_o kind_n the_o devil_n have_v never_o power_n to_o tempt_v i_o so_o far_o as_o to_o make_v i_o doubt_v but_o that_o thou_o o_o lord_n be_v the_o owner_n and_o author_n of_o all_o goodness_n no_o nor_o yet_o in_o any_o thing_n at_o all_o which_o belong_v to_o faith_n nay_o rather_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o the_o more_o they_o be_v above_o nature_n the_o more_o firm_o do_v i_o believe_v they_o yea_o and_o they_o cause_v even_o more_o devotion_n in_o i_o and_o in_o regard_n that_o thou_o be_v omnipotent_a all_o such_o greatness_n as_o thou_o shall_v be_v please_v to_o act_v and_o execute_v be_v resolve_v upon_o and_o conclude_v in_o i_o and_o of_o this_o as_o i_o be_v say_v i_o never_o have_v doubt_n so_o that_o when_o i_o come_v afterward_o to_o consider_v how_o thou_o can_v permit_v that_o there_o shall_v be_v so_o many_o dear_a servant_n of_o thou_o as_o i_o be_v say_v who_o yet_o receive_v not_o those_o favour_n and_o regalos_n which_o thou_o be_v please_v to_o vouchsafe_v i_o i_o be_v so_o miserable_a a_o creature_n as_o i_o be_v thou_o answer_v i_o thus_o o_o lord_n do_v thou_o serve_v i_o and_o do_v not_o trouble_v thyself_o with_o that_o now_o this_o be_v the_o very_a first_o word_n of_o that_o kind_n which_o ever_o i_o perceive_v thou_o to_o speak_v to_o i_o and_o therefore_o it_o amaze_v i_o much_o and_o i_o will_v hereafter_o declare_v this_o manner_n of_o understand_v thing_n together_o with_o diverse_a other_o i_o speak_v not_o of_o it_o here_o for_o it_o be_v to_o go_v from_o the_o purpose_n and_o i_o believe_v i_o have_v go_v from_o it_o already_o and_o in_o effect_n i_o scarce_o know_v what_o i_o have_v say_v nor_o can_v it_o indeed_o well_o be_v otherwise_o but_o your_o reverence_n must_v needs_o bear_v with_o these_o interual_n and_o interruption_n for_o when_o i_o once_o consider_v how_o much_o god_n endure_v at_o my_o hand_n and_o withal_o behold_v myself_o in_o this_o condition_n it_o be_v not_o to_o go_v for_o a_o strange_a thing_n that_o i_o lose_v my_o aim_n both_o in_o that_o which_o i_o say_v and_o be_o to_o say_v and_o i_o beseech_v our_o lord_n that_o all_o my_o impertinency_n and_o roaving_n may_v always_o be_v of_o this_o kind_n and_o that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n may_v not_o permit_v that_o i_o may_v ever_o vary_v one_o hair_n breadth_n from_o he_o but_o rather_o that_o i_o may_v be_v consume_v even_o in_o this_o moment_n for_o it_o may_v well_o be_v sufficient_a for_o i_o to_o have_v observe_v and_o discern_v his_o great_a mercy_n not_o once_o but_o often_o in_o that_o he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o pardon_v so_o great_a a_o ingratitude_n as_o i_o he_o pardon_v s._n peter_n once_o but_o i_o often_o so_o that_o the_o devil_n have_v some_o kind_n of_o reason_n to_o tempt_v i_o as_o hope_v that_o i_o will_v not_o pretend_v to_o hold_v straight_a friendship_n with_o one_o with_o who_o i_o have_v be_v in_o so_o public_a enmity_n but_o how_o great_a o_o lord_n be_v this_o blindness_n of_o i_o for_o where_o can_v i_o ever_o think_v o_o my_o lord_n to_o find_v any_o remedy_n but_o by_o thou_o what_o a_o senseless_a kind_n of_o folly_n be_v it_o for_o i_o to_o fly_v from_o the_o light_n that_o so_o i_o may_v for_o ever_o go_v stumbling-on_a in_o the_o dark_a what_o a_o foolish_a kind_n of_o proud_a humility_n be_v that_o which_o the_o devil_n invent_v for_o i_o when_o he_o persuade_v i_o to_o depart_v from_o lean_v against_o that_o staff_n and_o pillar_n prayer_n which_o may_v support_v i_o that_o so_o my_o fall_n may_v not_o be_v so_o great_a at_o this_o instant_n do_v i_o bless_v myself_o with_o the_o cross_n for_o i_o think_v i_o never_o pass_v a_o danger_n so_o very_o hazardous_a in_o my_o whole_a life_n as_o this_o invention_n be_v which_o the_o devil_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o teach_v i_o by_o way_n of_o humility_n for_o he_o put_v it_o into_o my_o conceit_n to_o think_v how_o it_o can_v be_v possible_a that_o so_o wicked_a a_o thing_n as_o
i_o a_o very_a great_a deal_n of_o harrass_v &_o weariness_n to_o myself_o just_a so_o as_o if_o some_o ordinary_a person_n have_v be_v fight_v with_o some_o strong_a giant_n &_o afterward_o i_o shall_v find_v myself_o very_o weary_a but_o at_o other_o time_n it_o be_v altogether_o impossible_a for_o i_o to_o hinder_v it_o for_o my_o soul_n will_v be_v carry_v absolute_o away_o and_o ordinary_o even_o my_o head_n as_o it_o be_v after_o it_o yea_o &_o this_o sometime_o so_o far_o as_o that_o my_o whole_a body_n will_v be_v transport_v so_o as_o to_o be_v raised-up_a from_o the_o ground_n this_o last_o have_v happen_v rare_o to_o i_o but_o once_o it_o be_v upon_o the_o very_a point_n to_o arrive_v whilst_o we_o all_o be_v assemble_v together_o in_o the_o choir_n and_o i_o be_v then_o upon_o my_o knee_n as_o at_o the_o point_n of_o go_v to_o receive_v the_o bless_a sacrament_n it_o put_v i_o to_o a_o extremity_n of_o trouble_n because_o it_o seem_v to_o be_v a_o very_a extraordinary_a thing_n and_o that_o instant_o there_o will_v be_v much_o note_n of_o it_o and_o so_o i_o command_v my_o religious-woeman_n for_o at_o that_o time_n i_o be_v grow_v to_o be_v prioress_n that_o they_o shall_v not_o speak_v of_o it_o to_o any_o creature_n but_o at_o other_o time_n when_o i_o begin_v to_o discern_v that_o our_o lord_n be_v go_v about_o to_o do_v the_o same_o again_o and_o once_o in_o particular_a when_o diverse_a principal_a lady_n be_v present_a and_o it_o be_v upon_o the_o feast_n of_o our_o vocation_n when_o there_o be_v a_o sermon_n i_o do_v even_o spread_v myself_o all_o along_o upon_o the_o ground_n and_o though_o the_o religious_a woman_n come_v then_o about_o i_o to_o keep_v my_o body_n down_o yet_o the_o thing_n be_v easy_o perceive_v upon_o this_o i_o humble_o pray_v our_o lord_n in_o most_o particular_a manner_n that_o by_o no_o mean_n he_o will_v do_v i_o any_o such_o favour_n as_o may_v carry_v any_o of_o these_o exterior_a demonstration_n with_o they_o for_o already_o i_o be_v very_o weary_a of_o be_v necessary_o so_o wary_a and_o watchful_a over_o myself_o for_o that_o such_o kind_n of_o favour_n can_v not_o possible_o be_v do_v i_o by_o his_o divine_a majesty_n but_o so_o that_o every_o body_n will_v come_v to_o know_v it_o and_o it_o seem_v that_o through_o his_o goodness_n he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o hear_v my_o prayer_n for_o since_o that_o time_n i_o never_o have_v any_o rapt_n of_o that_o kind_n and_o to_o that_o proportion_n but_o it_o be_v true_a that_o it_o be_v notlong_o since_o i_o have_v the_o last_o but_o yet_o now_o so_o it_o be_v that_o when_o i_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o resist_v these_o rapt_n there_o seem_v to_o be_v somewhat_o of_o so_o mighty_a force_n under_o my_o foot_n which_o raise_v i_o up_o that_o i_o know_v not_o to_o what_o to_o compare_v it_o but_o it_o come_v with_o much_o more_o impetuositie_n than_o any_o of_o these_o other_o thing_n of_o spirit_n and_o so_o i_o be_v even_o tear_v as_o it_o be_v to_o piece_n for_o the_o combat_n and_o strife_n be_v great_a but_o in_o fine_a all_o help_v little_a for_o when_o our_o lord_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o do_v any_o thing_n no_o power_n be_v able_a to_o stand_v against_o it_o at_o other_o time_n he_o be_v please_v to_o content_v himself_o with_o let_v we_o see_v that_o he_o be_v dispose_v to_o do_v we_o that_o favour_n and_o that_o there_o be_v no_o aversion_n in_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o that_o we_o oppose_v ourselves_o for_o humility_n sake_n there_o follow_v yet_o the_o selfsame_a effect_n as_o if_o we_o have_v whole_o consent_v now_o these_o rapt_n effect_n be_v great_a for_o first_o the_o mighty_a power_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v make_v apparent_a thereby_o and_o that_o when_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o dispose_v of_o thing_n otherwise_o we_o be_v no_o more_o able_a to_o detain_v our_o body_n than_o our_o soul_n nor_o be_v we_o lord_n thereof_o but_o we_o must_v in_o despite_n of_o our_o heart_n acknowledge_v that_o there_o be_v a_o superior_a and_o that_o these_o favour_n come_v from_o he_o and_o that_o of_o ourselves_o we_o can_v do_v nothing_o in_o nothing_o and_o so_o a_o great_a impression_n of_o humility_n be_v make_v upon_o the_o soul_n by_o this_o mean_n and_o further_o i_o confess_v that_o it_o breed_v also_o a_o great_a fear_n in_o i_o and_o at_o the_o first_o a_o extreme_a great_a one_o to_o see_v that_o a_o massy_a body_n shall_v be_v taken-up_a from_o the_o earth_n for_o though_o the_o spirit_n be_v that_o which_o draw_v it_o after_o it_o and_o though_o it_o be_v with_o great_a suavitie_n and_o delight_n if_o it_o be_v not_o resist_v yet_o our_o sense_n be_v not_o lose_v thereby_o at_o least_o i_o for_o my_o part_n be_v so_o perfect_o in_o my_o sense_n that_o i_o be_v able_a to_o understand_v that_o i_o be_v raise_v there_o do_v also_o hereby_o appear_v so_o great_a a_o majesty_n in_o he_o who_o can_v do_v this_o that_o it_o make_v even_o the_o very_a hair_n of_o the_o head_n stand_v on_o end_n and_o there_o remain_v a_o mighty_a fear_n to_o offend_v so_o great_a a_o god_n but_o yet_o so_o as_o that_o it_o be_v wrap_v up_o in_o a_o excessive_a kind_n of_o love_n which_o she_o begin_v to_o conceive_v even_o new_o and_o fresh_o again_o towards_o he_o who_o she_o find_v to_o carry_v so_o great_a a_o love_n to_o such_o rot_a worm_n as_o we_o be_v for_o now_o he_o seem_v not_o content_a with_o draw_v the_o soul_n only_o to_o himself_o in_o so_o particular_a and_o so_o certain_a a_o manner_n but_o that_o he_o will_v needs_o also_o draw_v the_o very_a body_n too_o even_o whilst_o it_o be_v so_o very_o mortal_a and_o compose_v of_o so_o filthy_a earth_n as_o we_o have_v make_v it_o by_o our_o sin_n this_o also_o leave_v in_o the_o soul_n a_o very_a strange_a kind_n of_o loosen_v and_o cast_v itself_o off_o from_o all_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n whereof_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o express_v well_o what_o it_o be_v but_o i_o think_v i_o may_v well_o say_v that_o it_o be_v not_o only_o in_o some_o sort_n a_o different_a but_o also_o a_o great_a kind_n of_o thing_n than_o those_o other_o which_o work_n upon_o the_o only_o spirit_n import_n for_o though_o in_o those_o other_o visitation_n also_o there_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o total_a untie_n and_o loosen_v itself_o from_o all_o thing_n for_o as_o much_o as_o concern_v the_o spirit_n yet_o here_o it_o seem_v our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o even_o the_o body_n also_o itself_o shall_v put_v this_o point_n in_o practice_n and_o it_o breed_v in_o any_o creature_n such_o a_o new_a kind_n of_o shynesse_n and_o mislike_v in_o order_n to_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n that_o it_o make_v even_o our_o very_a life_n much_o the_o more_o painful_a to_o us._n it_o give_v also_o such_o another_o book_n pain_n as_o we_o can_v neither_o tell_v how_o to_o procure_v when_o we_o have_v it_o not_o nor_o free_v ourselves_o from_o the_o same_o when_o we_o have_v it_o and_o i_o will_v be_v extreme_o glad_a to_o be_v able_a to_o give_v this_o to_o be_v understand_v but_o i_o believe_v i_o shall_v not_o know_v how_o to_o do_v it_o though_o yet_o i_o will_v say_v somewhat_o if_o i_o be_v able_a but_o now_o it_o be_v to_o be_v note_v that_o these_o thing_n come_v upon_o i_o when_o i_o be_o as_o it_o be_v in_o the_o very_a evening_n of_o the_o day_n after_o all_o those_o vision_n and_o revelation_n whereof_o i_o will_v write_v &_o after_o the_o time_n when_o i_o use_v to_o hold_v that_o prayer_n wherein_o our_o lord_n be_v wont_a to_o allow_v i_o so_o great_a regalo_n and_o gust_n and_o though_o yet_o these_o thing_n do_v not_o cease_v with_o i_o at_o some_o time_n yet_o do_v this_o pain_n more_o often_o and_o more_o usual_o seize_v upon_o i_o which_o i_o will_v now_o declare_v it_o have_v sometime_o of_o the_o more_o and_o sometime_o of_o the_o less_o and_o now_o i_o will_v apply_v myself_o to_o speak_v of_o it_o as_o when_o it_o have_v of_o the_o more_o for_o though_o i_o will_v treat_v hereafter_o of_o those_o great_a impetuosity_n which_o they_o use_v to_o bring_v upon_o i_o before_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o those_o rapt_n yet_o they_o have_v in_o my_o opinion_n no_o more_o to_o do_v by_o way_n of_o comparison_n one_o with_o another_o than_o there_o be_v between_o thing_n corporal_a and_o spiritual_a and_o i_o believe_v that_o i_o do_v not_o exaggerate_v the_o matter_n a_o whitt_n by_o say_v so_o because_o that_o pain_n seem_v to_o be_v such_o as_o that_o although_o the_o soul_n do_v feel_v it_o yet_o it_o feel_v it_o
together_o with_o the_o body_n and_o so_o both_o of_o they_o participate_v therein_o and_o it_o be_v not_o also_o with_o that_o extremity_n of_o be_v as_o it_o be_v abandon_v and_o utter_o forsake_v which_o yet_o abound_v in_o this_o wherein_o as_o i_o be_v say_v we_o have_v no_o part_n at_o all_o ourselves_o but_o there_o often_o come_v a_o kind_n of_o desire_n unreasonable_o and_o unexpected_o upon_o we_o and_o i_o know_v not_o from_o whence_o it_o move_v and_o upon_o this_o desire_n which_o penetrate_v the_o whole_a soul_n even_o at_o one_o very_a instant_n she_o begin_v to_o afflict_v and_o even_o belabour_v herself_o so_o as_o that_o she_o rise_v much_o above_o herself_o and_o indeed_o above_o whatsoever_o be_v create_v and_o almighty_a god_n be_v please_v to_o make_v she_o so_o very_o desolate_a &_o disgu_v in_o order_n to_o all_o temporal_a thing_n that_o how_o much_o soever_o she_o may_v labour_v and_o endeavour_v to_o the_o contrary_a there_o be_v nothing_o in_o this_o world_n 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in_o these_o case_n and_o sometime_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v as_o i_o be_v say_v that_o the_o body_n shall_v also_o feel_v his_o part_n of_o joy_n since_o already_o it_o yield_v obedience_n to_o that_o which_o the_o soul_n desire_v when_o once_o she_o be_v return_v into_o herself_o it_o will_v happen_v to_o she_o if_o the_o rapt_v have_v be_v great_a to_o go_v a_o day_n or_o two_o yea_o and_o sometime_o three_o with_o the_o power_n so_o absorb_v and_o as_o it_o be_v stupify_v that_o they_o seem_v not_o to_o be_v altogether_o themselves_o but_o now_o here_o comes-in_a the_o pain_n to_o be_v able_a to_o know_v again_o how_o to_o live_v here_o be_v our_o feather_n imp_v and_o here_o be_v the_o sick_a one_o fall_v off_o and_o here_o be_v the_o banner_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n so_o direct_o raised-up_a and_o display_v that_o now_o there_o seem_v to_o remain_v no_o more_o but_o that_o the_o captain_n of_o this_o fort_n may_v either_o get_v up_o himself_o or_o else_o may_v instant_o 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with_o they_o and_o if_o i_o can_v tell_v how_o and_o especial_o if_o i_o think_v that_o they_o will_v believe_v i_o for_o i_o recommend_v they_o very_o much_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o i_o wish_v that_o it_o may_v do_v they_o good_a when_o a_o body_n resolve_v to_o venture_v his_o life_n he_o may_v in_o effect_n do_v what_o he_o list_v and_o i_o desire_v very_o often_o to_o loose_v i_o for_o that_o be_v to_o venture_v little_a for_o the_o gain_n of_o much_o but_o now_o one_o may_v think_v that_o there_o be_v scarce_o any_o creature_n in_o the_o world_n who_o indeed_o live_v consider_v how_o gross_o visible_a that_o great_a deceit_n and_o error_n be_v which_o we_o carry_v about_o we_o and_o with_o what_o blindness_n we_o converse_v in_o this_o world_n but_o when_o once_o the_o soul_n come_v to_o the_o pass_n of_o this_o water_n they_o be_v not_o bare_a desire_n which_o she_o carry_v for_o the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n for_o then_o his_o divine_a majesty_n give_v her_o 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benediction_n and_o he_o will_v address_v your_o life_n by_o your_o meditation_n upon_o he_o for_o he_o be_v the_o best_a original_a and_o pattern_n which_o we_o can_v possible_o have_v and_o indeed_o what_o can_v we_o desire_v more_o then_o to_o have_v so_o perfect_a a_o friend_n at_o hand_n who_o will_v never_o give_v we_o over_o in_o our_o affliction_n and_o tribalation_n as_o they_o of_o this_o world_n be_v wont_a to_o do_v most_o bless_a be_v that_o man_n who_o love_v he_o with_o all_o sincerity_n of_o truth_n and_o who_o be_v always_o carry_v he_o close_o to_o himself_o let_v we_o look_v upon_o the_o glorious_a s._n paul_n who_o seem_v as_o if_o he_o can_v not_o suffer_v that_o ever_o the_o name_n of_o jesus_n shall_v be_v able_a to_o fall_v often_o enough_o from_o his_o mouth_n as_o one_o who_o do_v not_o fail_v to_o carry_v it_o well_o imprint_v upon_o his_o hart_n and_o since_o i_o understand_v of_o that_o other_o abstract_a course_n whereof_o i_o speak_v i_o have_v reflect_v 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upon_o the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v to_o any_o soul_n that_o which_o i_o will_v fain_o give_v to_o be_v understand_v be_v that_o the_o most_o sacred_a humanity_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n must_v not_o be_v make_v to_o come_v into_o that_o account_n and_o let_v this_o point_n be_v well_o understand_v wherein_o i_o will_v fain_o know_v how_o to_o declare_v myself_o when_o god_n be_v please_v to_o suspend_v all_o the_o power_n of_o the_o soul_n in_o those_o kind_n of_o prayer_n which_o be_v relate_v we_o have_v see_v plain_o that_o this_o presence_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n be_v take_v from_o we_o whether_o we_o will_v or_o no_o and_o let_v it_o then_o be_v go_v in_o a_o good_a hour_n for_o that_o kind_n of_o loss_n be_v a_o happy_a one_o whereby_o we_o come_v to_o enjoy_v more_o of_o that_o which_o we_o conceive_v ourselves_o to_o have_v lose_v for_o then_o the_o soul_n employ_v herself_o whole_o upon_o love_v he_o who_o the_o understanding_n have_v already_o endeavour_v to_o know_v and_o she_o love_v that_o which_o she_o do_v not_o full_o comprehend_v and_o now_o joy_n in_o that_o wherein_o she_o can_v not_o also_o have_v joy_v but_o only_o by_o lose_v herself_o for_o her_o great_a gain_n but_o now_o that_o we_o shall_v by_o trick_n and_o of_o sett-purpose_n accustom_v ourselves_o not_o to_o procure_v with_o our_o whole_a power_n to_o carry_v always_o in_o our_o eye_n and_o i_o will_v to_o god_n it_o be_v always_o this_o most_o sacred_a humanity_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n this_o i_o say_v be_v that_o which_o i_o like_v not_o since_o it_o be_v a_o way_n of_o make_v the_o soul_n walk_v in_o the_o air_n as_o we_o use_v to_o say_v for_o it_o seem_v that_o she_o have_v no_o firm_a and_o stable_a restingplace_n howsoever_o she_o may_v make_v herself_o believe_v that_o she_o be_v full_a of_o god_n it_o be_v a_o great_a matter_n whilst_o we_o live_v and_o be_v humane_a to_o procure_v to_o bring_v god_n to_o ourselves_o humane_a for_o this_o be_v that_o other_o inconvenience_n which_o i_o say_v there_o be_v for_o the_o first_o i_o begin_v to_o say_v be_v a_o little_a want_n of_o humility_n in_o presume_v to_o raise_v the_o soul_n before_o our_o lord_n raise_v she_o and_o not_o to_o content_v herself_o with_o meditate_v upon_o a_o thing_n so_o precious_a but_o that_o she_o will_v needs_o be_v a_o marie_n before_o she_o have_v take_v the_o pain_n of_o martha_n if_o our_o lord_n himself_o be_v please_v that_o we_o be_v marry_o there_o will_v be_v nothing_o to_o be_v fear_v though_o it_o shall_v be_v upon_o the_o very_a first_o day_n of_o our_o do_v he_o service_n but_o yet_o let_v we_o consider_v well_o of_o the_o matter_n as_o i_o think_v i_o be_v say_v before_o for_o this_o small_a moat_n of_o little_a humility_n will_v make_v a_o shift_n to_o do_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o hurt_n against_o profit_v in_o the_o way_n of_o contemplation_n but_o to_o return_v now_o to_o the_o second_o point_n we_o be_v no_o angel_n but_o we_o have_v body_n and_o to_o desire_v to_o make_v ourselves_o angel_n whilst_o yet_o we_o be_v upon_o earth_n and_o especial_o if_o they_o be_v so_o earthly_a as_o i_o be_v be_v a_o kind_n of_o folly_n or_o madness_n but_o our_o thought_n in_o the_o ordinary_a way_n have_v need_n of_o a_o kind_n of_o lean_v or_o restingplace_n though_o yet_o sometime_o the_o soul_n may_v go_v so_o out_o of_o herself_o yea_o and_o many_o time_n may_v be_v so_o full_a of_o almighty_a god_n that_o perhaps_o she_o have_v no_o neęd_n to_o recollect_v herself_o by_o mean_n of_o any_o thing_n create_v but_o this_o be_v not_o a_o thing_n so_o ordinary_a and_o in_o business_n and_o persecution_n and_o trouble_n when_o she_o can_v enjoy_v so_o much_o quiet_a and_o in_o the_o time_n also_o of_o dryness_n and_o dulness_n christ_n our_o lord_n be_v wont_a to_o be_v a_o very_a good_a friend_n for_o we_o consider_v he_o as_o man_n and_o we_o behold_v he_o full_a of_o weakness_n and_o affliction_n and_o he_o be_v company_n fit_a for_o all_o good_a occasion_n and_o when_o once_o we_o be_v a_o little_a accustom_a we_o shall_v find_v he_o very_o easy_o keep_v close_a to_o we_o though_o yet_o some_o such_o time_n will_v occur_v as_o that_o we_o shall_v not_o be_v able_a to_o do_v neither_o the_o one_o nor_o the_o other_o upon_o this_o reason_n it_o will_v be_v well_o to_o do_v that_o whereof_o i_o have_v speak_v already_o namely_o not_o to_o pretend_v and_o procure_v any_o sensible_a consolation_n of_o spirit_n but_o let_v any_o thing_n arrive_v that_o will_v for_o it_o be_v no_o toy_n or_o trifle_n to_o embrace_v the_o cross_n of_o our_o lord_n this_o lord_n of_o we_o be_v forsake_v by_o all_o manner_n of_o comfort_n and_o they_o leave_v he_o all_o alone_a in_o his_o affliction_n but_o yet_o let_v not_o we_o do_v so_o for_o he_o will_v reach_v we_o his_o hand_n which_o can_v raise_v we_o better_o up_o than_o all_o our_o own_o diligence_n will_v have_v be_v able_a to_o do_v and_o yet_o he_o will_v 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to_o allow_v so_o much_o time_n to_o the_o understanding_n as_o may_v serve_v for_o the_o compose_n of_o these_o reason_n for_o in_o fine_a there_o must_v be_v time_n for_o that_o but_o now_o in_o this_o other_o way_n we_o remain_v instruct_v without_o any_o loss_n of_o time_n at_o all_o yea_o and_o we_o grow_v to_o understand_v certain_a thing_n at_o a_o instant_n when_o yet_o otherwise_o a_o month_n will_v have_v be_v time_n little_a enough_o to_o ordain_v they_o yea_o and_o the_o understanding_n remain_v no_o less_o than_o amaze_v at_o some_o thing_n which_o we_o understand_v this_o be_v the_o very_a truth_n and_o whosoever_o
and_o so_o make_v those_o wretch_n tremble_v for_o already_o we_o know_v well_o enough_o that_o the_o devil_n be_v not_o able_a to_o stir_v unless_o our_o lord_n permit_v he_o what_o then_o may_v be_v the_o ground_n of_o all_o these_o disorder_n it_o be_v certain_o that_o i_o be_o more_o afraid_a of_o they_o who_o be_v so_o fright_v by_o the_o devil_n then_o of_o the_o devil_n himself_o for_o he_o be_v utter_o unable_a to_o do_v i_o hurt_v whereas_o these_o other_o especial_o if_o they_o be_v ghostly_a father_n may_v put_v soul_n to_o much_o disquiet_n and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o have_v pass_v some_o year_n through_o so_o great_a trouble_n that_o now_o i_o be_o even_o amaze_v to_o consider_v how_o i_o have_v be_v able_a to_o endure_v it_o but_o bless_v be_v our_o lord_n who_o have_v assist_v i_o in_o so_o good_a earnest_n amen_n the_o six_o and_o twenty_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o discourse_n and_o go_v relate_v and_o declare_v such_o thing_n as_o happen_v to_o she_o which_o make_v her_o loose_a fear_n and_o to_o be_v strengthen_v in_o a_o beleif_n that_o it_o be_v a_o good_a spirit_n which_o speak_v to_o she_o i_o esteem_v the_o courage_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v vouchsafe_v to_o give_v i_o against_o all_o the_o devil_n of_o hell_n to_o be_v one_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n which_o it_o have_v please_v his_o divine_a majesty_n to_o do_v i_o since_o for_o a_o soul_n to_o go_v cowardly_o on_o and_o to_o be_v fearful_a indeed_o of_o any_o thing_n but_o only_o to_o offend_v the_o majesty_n of_o almighty_a god_n be_v a_o extreme_a inconvenience_n for_o since_o we_o have_v a_o king_n who_o be_v omnipotent_a and_o so_o great_a a_o lord_n that_o he_o can_v do_v what_o he_o list_n and_o who_o bring_v all_o thing_n into_o subjection_n under_o himself_o there_o be_v no_o fear_n at_o all_o to_o be_v have_v and_o therefore_o as_o i_o be_v say_v we_o have_v no_o cause_n to_o doubt_v so_o that_o we_o walk_v sincere_o and_o with_o purity_n of_o conscience_n 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surcharge_v even_o with_o a_o thousand_o misery_n but_o yet_o still_o we_o have_v this_o comfort_n that_o almighty_a god_n do_v not_o proceed_v with_o such_o rigour_n as_o man_n do_v for_o he_o know_v and_o consider_v our_o frailty_n and_o the_o soul_n have_v way_n of_o understanding_n and_o find_v in_o itself_o by_o great_a conjecture_n whether_o real_o she_o love_v his_o divine_a majesty_n or_o no_o for_o in_o such_o as_o arrive_v once_o to_o this_o state_n our_o love_n to_o he_o be_v not_o now_o a_o kind_n of_o dissemble_a or_o disguise_v love_n as_o it_o use_v sometime_o to_o be_v in_o the_o beginning_n but_o it_o be_v accompany_v with_o so_o great_a impulse_n and_o even_o impetuosity_n of_o desire_n to_o see_v almighty_a god_n as_o i_o shall_v afterward_o declare_v or_o rather_o as_o i_o have_v declare_v already_o and_o all_o thing_n be_v wont_a to_o afflict_v all_o thing_n to_o weary_a &_o tire_v and_o all_o thing_n do_v even_o torment_v she_o unless_o it_o be_v only_a god_n or_o 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the_o memory_n of_o the_o sin_n of_o my_o former_a life_n and_o this_o he_o most_o ordinary_o use_v to_o do_v whensoever_o he_o intend_v to_o vouchsafe_v i_o any_o extraordinary_a favour_n and_o he_o do_v it_o in_o such_o sort_n that_o the_o soul_n discern_v herself_o as_o if_o she_o be_v real_o plant_v at_o the_o very_a day_n of_o the_o last_o universal_a judgement_n and_o the_o truth_n be_v represent_v to_o she_o with_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o perspicuity_n and_o claritie_n that_o she_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v with_o herself_o at_o other_o time_n he_o be_v please_v to_o inform_v i_o of_o certain_a danger_n concern_v both_o myself_o and_o other_o about_o thing_n which_o do_v not_o happen_v till_o three_o or_o four_o year_n after_o but_o they_o all_o be_v ever_o fulfil_v and_o some_o of_o they_o may_v also_o be_v name_v if_o there_o be_v cause_n so_o that_o there_o be_v so_o many_o particular_n whereby_o it_o may_v be_v understand_v that_o these_o thing_n be_v of_o almighty_a 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in_o my_o opinion_n do_v i_o the_o most_o good_a of_o they_o all_o and_o though_o i_o love_v he_o very_o much_o yet_o i_o have_v some_o temptation_n to_o leave_v he_o for_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o be_v much_o prejudice_v by_o those_o inconvenience_n which_o he_o be_v wont_a to_o give_v i_o concern_v my_o prayer_n but_o yet_o ever_o when_o i_o be_v determine_v to_o do_v this_o i_o instant_o understand_v that_o i_o be_v to_o forbear_v it_o and_o i_o receive_v such_o a_o reprehension_n from_o our_o lord_n as_o defeat_v and_o as_o it_o be_v annihilate_v i_o more_o than_o all_o that_o which_o my_o ghostly_a father_n can_v
this_o end_n some_o little_a poor_a good_a work_n which_o i_o do_v if_o i_o do_v any_o i_o become_v devote_a to_o some_o saint_n to_o the_o end_n that_o by_o their_o mean_n i_o may_v be_v deliver_v from_o the_o devil_n i_o perform_v the_o devotion_n of_o nine_o day_n i_o recommend_v myself_o to_o saint_n hilarion_n and_o to_o s._n michael_n also_o the_o archangel_n for_o i_o have_v late_o apply_v myself_o to_o he_o for_o this_o purpose_n and_o i_o importune_v also_o mame_v other_o saint_n that_o our_o lord_n may_v be_v please_v by_o their_o intercession_n to_o conduct_v i_o in_o the_o way_n of_o truth_n i_o say_v that_o they_o will_v find_v some_o mean_n to_o perfect_v this_o business_n of_o i_o with_o his_o divine_a majesty_n in_o fine_a after_o the_o end_n of_o two_o year_n which_o both_o i_o and_o other_o person_n have_v whole_o employ_v with_o all_o their_o prayer_n and_o i_o in_o order_n to_o this_o end_n that_o our_o lord_n may_v be_v please_v either_o to_o conduct_v my_o soul_n by_o some_o other_o way_n or_o else_o vouchsafe_v to_o declare_v that_o this_o way_n wherein_o i_o go_v be_v right_a for_o now_o those_o word_n and_o speech_n which_o i_o have_v relate_v that_o our_o lord_n will_v be_v utter_v to_o i_o sometime_o be_v grow_v very_o ordinary_a &_o even_o continual_a that_o chance_v and_o occur_v to_o i_o which_o i_o will_v now_o declare_v as_o i_o be_v in_o prayer_n one_o day_n and_o it_o be_v upon_o the_o festivitie_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n peter_n i_o see_v stand_v very_o near_o i_o or_o rather_o to_o say_v better_o i_o think_v i_o feel_v for_o indeed_o i_o see_v nothing_o at_o all_o with_o the_o eye_n either_o of_o my_o body_n or_o of_o my_o mind_n that_o christ_n our_o lord_n be_v close_o by_o i_o and_o i_o find_v in_o fine_a that_o it_o be_v he_o in_o my_o opinion_n who_o be_v speak_v to_o i_o but_o now_o i_o who_o be_v extreme_o ignorant_a till_o then_o that_o there_o may_v be_v any_o such_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n as_o such_o a_o vision_n 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go_v immediate_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n be_v sufficient_o vex_v and_o grieved_a that_o i_o must_v let_v he_o know_v it_o he_o ask_v i_o what_o form_n or_o figure_n he_o have_v when_o i_o see_v he_o and_o i_o tell_v he_o that_o i_o have_v not_o see_v he_o upon_o this_o he_o inquire_v then_o how_o i_o know_v that_o it_o be_v christ_n our_o lord_n to_o this_o i_o answer_v that_o i_o know_v no_o more_o but_o that_o i_o can_v not_o possible_o fail_v or_o forbear_v to_o understand_v and_o know_v that_o he_o be_v close_o to_o i_o and_o that_o i_o find_v and_o feel_v it_o plain_o and_o that_o now_o the_o recollection_n of_o my_o soul_n in_o prayer_n of_o quiet_a be_v far_o great_a and_o more_o continual_a &_o that_o the_o effect_n be_v very_o different_a from_o those_o other_o which_o i_o have_v former_o find_v and_o that_o the_o thing_n be_v very_o certain_a and_o clear_a for_o my_o part_n i_o can_v do_v no_o more_o but_o bring_v diverse_a comparison_n whereby_o to_o give_v myself_o 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because_o it_o be_v no_o imaginary_a vision_n how_o come_v i_o to_o understand_v and_o how_o can_v i_o undertake_v and_o affirm_v more_o clear_o &_o certain_o that_o christ_n our_o lord_n be_v stand_v near_o i_o then_o if_o i_o have_v see_v he_o with_o my_o very_a eye_n for_o it_o seem_v indeed_o to_o be_v as_o if_o a_o person_n be_v in_o the_o dark_a who_o see_v not_o another_o that_o stand_v by_o he_o or_o as_o if_o the_o same_o person_n be_v blind_a some_o resemblance_n i_o say_v this_o carry_v though_o yet_o not_o very_o much_o for_o in_o this_o last_o case_n a_o man_n may_v come_v to_o know_v it_o by_o the_o way_n of_o several_a sense_n because_o he_o may_v hear_v the_o other_o speak_v or_o stir_v or_o he_o may_v touch_v he_o but_o here_o there_o be_v nothing_o of_o all_o this_o nor_o be_v there_o here_o any_o darkness_n at_o all_o but_o only_o the_o thing_n be_v represent_v to_o the_o soul_n by_o a_o certain_a notice_n which_o be_v more_o clear_a than_o the_o sun_n i_o say_v not_o that_o any_o sun_n be_v see_v nor_o any_o clearness_n or_o brightness_n at_o all_o but_o only_o a_o certain_a light_n which_o illuminate_v and_o inform_v the_o understanding_n though_o yet_o without_o see_v any_o light_n to_o the_o end_n that_o the_o soul_n may_v enjoy_v so_o high_a a_o good_a now_o this_o bring_v great_a benefit_n with_o it_o yet_o be_v it_o not_o like_o such_o a_o presence_n of_o god_n as_o many_o time_n be_v feel_v in_o the_o mind_n and_o especial_o by_o such_o person_n as_o be_v arrive_v to_o union_n and_o quiet_a prayer_n who_o in_o resolve_v to_o begin_v to_o make_v that_o prayer_n seem_v to_o find_v the_o person_n ready_a at_o hand_n to_o who_o to_o speak_v and_o we_o seem_v to_o understand_v that_o he_o hear_v we_o by_o the_o effect_n and_o spiritual_a feeling_n which_o we_o find_v of_o great_a love_n and_o faith_n and_o other_o firm_a purpose_n and_o resolution_n accompany_v with_o much_o tenderness_n of_o denotion_n this_o be_v a_o great_a favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o let_v he_o esteem_v it_o much_o who_o have_v it_o for_o it_o be_v a_o very_a elevate_v and_o high_a prayer_n but_o yet_o it_o be_v no_o vision_n but_o here_o it_o be_v understand_v that_o almighty_a god_n be_v there_o by_o the_o effect_n which_o as_o i_o have_v say_v he_o work_v in_o the_o soul_n for_o in_o this_o manner_n of_o prayer_n do_v his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o give_v hemself_n then_o and_o there_o to_o be_v feel_v but_o now_o here_o it_o be_v clear_o find_v that_o christ_n jesus_n the_o son_n of_o the_o virgin_n be_v present_a in_o that_o other_o manner_n of_o prayer_n there_o be_v certain_a influence_n of_o the_o divinity_n represent_v but_o here_o together_o with_o they_o we_o find_v that_o the_o most_o sacred_a humanity_n also_o of_o christ_n our_o lord_n do_v accompany_v we_o to_o do_v we_o favour_n my_o ghostly_a father_n than_o ask_v i_o this_o question_n who_o tell_v you_o that_o it_o be_v jesus_n christ_n himself_o tell_v i_o so_o answer_v i_o and_o that_o many_o time_n but_o yet_o even_o before_o he_o tell_v i_o so_o it_o be_v he_o print_v upon_o my_o understanding_n that_o it_o be_v he_o yea_o and_o even_o before_o this_o he_o tell_v i_o so_o and_o yet_o still_o i_o see_v he_o not_o if_o any_o man_n who_o i_o have_v never_o see_v but_o only_o have_v hear_v news_n of_o he_o shall_v come_v to_o speak_v with_o i_o i_o be_v either_o blind_a or_o in_o the_o dark_a and_o shall_v tell_v i_o who_o he_o be_v i_o shall_v believe_v he_o and_o yet_o i_o can_v not_o so_o
resolut_o affirm_v he_o to_o be_v that_o person_n as_o if_o i_o have_v see_v he_o but_o yet_o now_o in_o this_o other_o case_n i_o can_v for_o here_o there_o be_v imprint_v so_o clear_a a_o notice_n of_o he_o in_o the_o mind_n without_o see_v he_o that_o it_o seem_v a_o kind_n of_o impossibility_n to_o doubt_v it_o for_o our_o lord_n will_v have_v it_o so_o engrave_v upon_o the_o understanding_n that_o it_o can_v no_o more_o be_v question_v then_o even_o that_o which_o we_o see_v no_o nor_o yet_o so_o much_o for_o in_o thing_n which_o we_o see_v there_o remain_v sometime_o a_o suspicion_n whether_o we_o may_v not_o have_v fancy_v such_o a_o thing_n and_o so_o mistake_v it_o but_o here_o though_o upon_o the_o sudden_a and_o as_o it_o be_v by_o way_n of_o surprise_n one_o may_v begin_v to_o fall_v upon_o a_o kind_n of_o suspicion_n or_o doubt_v yet_o still_o upon_o the_o whole_a matter_n we_o remain_v in_o so_o great_a a_o certainty_n as_o that_o the_o doubt_n continue_v not_o to_o have_v place_n and_o so_o also_o do_v it_o fall_v out_o though_o yet_o in_o a_o different_a manner_n that_o god_n instruct_v the_o soul_n &_o speak_v to_o it_o but_o yet_o without_o speak_v at_o all_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o i_o have_v already_o declare_v this_o be_v a_o certain_a kind_n of_o language_n which_o have_v so_o much_o of_o the_o celestial_a in_o it_o that_o it_o can_v well_o be_v give_v to_o be_v understand_v by_o we_o here_o how_o much_o soever_o we_o may_v desire_v it_o unless_o our_o lord_n himself_o be_v please_v to_o teach_v it_o by_o experience_n for_o our_o bless_a lord_n convey_v and_o place_n that_o in_o the_o most_o interior_a part_n of_o the_o soul_n which_o he_o be_v please_v that_o the_o same_o soul_n shall_v understand_v and_o know_v and_o there_o do_v he_o represent_v it_o without_o either_o any_o image_n of_o his_o person_n or_o any_o form_n of_o word_n but_o only_o after_o the_o way_n of_o that_o kind_n of_o vision_n which_o i_o have_v already_o touch_v and_o now_o let_v this_o manner_n of_o almighty_a god_n make_v the_o soul_n understand_v what_o he_o will_v in_o the_o way_n of_o great_a truth_n and_o mystery_n be_v much_o observe_v for_o many_o time_n that_o which_o i_o understand_v when_o our_o lord_n declare_v any_o vision_n which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o represent_v to_o i_o be_v after_o this_o manner_n and_o i_o think_v it_o be_v in_o such_o occasion_n as_o where_o the_o devil_n be_v least_o able_a to_o intermeddle_v or_o intrude_v himself_o for_o these_o reason_n and_o if_o they_o be_v not_o find_v i_o be_o likely_a enough_o to_o be_v deceive_v now_o this_o kind_n of_o vision_n and_o language_n be_v so_o inward_o a_o thing_n of_o spirit_n that_o here_o there_o be_v no_o kind_n of_o spring_v or_o even_o stir_v in_o any_o of_o the_o power_n of_o the_o mind_n nor_o yet_o in_o any_o of_o the_o sense_n of_o the_o body_n in_o my_o opinion_n by_o which_o mean_n the_o devil_n may_v be_v able_a to_o make_v himself_o the_o gainer_n thus_o i_o say_v it_o happen_v sometime_o as_o namely_o when_o it_o last_v but_o a_o very_a little_a while_n for_o at_o some_o other_o time_n i_o think_v that_o neither_o the_o power_n of_o the_o mind_n be_v suspend_v nor_o yet_o the_o sense_n of_o the_o body_n disable_v but_o that_o they_o be_v all_o at_o home_n and_o in_o use_n the_o other_o happen_v not_o always_o in_o this_o degree_n of_o contemplation_n but_o rather_o very_o seldom_o i_o say_v that_o when_o they_o be_v so_o lose_v we_o neither_o operate_v any_o thing_n nor_o do_v any_o thing_n but_o all_o seem_v to_o be_v the_o work_n of_o our_o lord_n it_o be_v as_o when_o a_o food_n be_v already_o convey_v into_o the_o stomach_n without_o either_o our_o have_v eat_v it_o or_o so_o much_o as_o know_v who_o lay_v it_o there_o but_o only_o we_o understand_v well_o that_o there_o it_o be_v though_o in_o that_o case_n it_o be_v neither_o know_v what_o the_o food_n be_v nor_o who_o carry_v it_o thither_o but_o here_o it_o be_v very_o differet_fw-la for_o here_o the_o food_n be_v know_v though_o yet_o how_o it_o get_v thither_o i_o can_v tell_v for_o neither_o do_v i_o see_v it_o nor_o understand_v it_o nor_o be_v i_o ever_o move_v to_o desire_v it_o nor_o have_v it_o ever_o come_v to_o my_o knowledge_n before_o that_o such_o a_o thing_n can_v possible_o be_v in_o the_o speech_n upon_o which_o i_o touch_v before_o almighty_a god_n make_v the_o understanding_n observe_v and_o reflect_v upon_o that_o which_o be_v say_v whether_o it_o desire_v to_o understand_v or_o no._n for_o there_o it_o seem_v that_o the_o soul_n have_v some_o other_o kind_n of_o eat_v wherewith_o to_o hear_v &_o that_o he_o make_v she_o harken_v and_o not_o the_o while_n to_o think_v of_o somewhat_o else_o as_o if_o one_o who_o can_v hear_v well_o be_v not_o suffer_v to_o stop_n his_o ear_n and_o that_o they_o cry_v out_o aloud_o to_o he_o who_o will_v therefore_o be_v fain_o to_o hear_v they_o whether_o he_o will_v or_o no_o but_o somewhat_o in_o fine_a he_o do_v since_o he_o be_v attentive_a to_o understand_v what_o they_o say_v but_o here_o the_o soul_n do_v inst_n nothing_o for_o even_o that_o little_a which_o be_v do_v in_o the_o former_a way_n and_o which_o be_v only_o to_o harken_v be_v take_v from_o she_o now_o for_o now_o she_o find_v all_o dress_v to_o her_o hand_n yea_o and_o all_o eat_v by_o she_o too_o so_o that_o now_o there_o be_v nothing_o to_o be_v do_v by_o she_o but_o to_o enjoy_v just_o so_o as_o any_o one_o who_o without_o ever_o have_v learn_v or_o so_o much_o as_o endeavour_v to_o read_v and_o much_o more_o without_o any_o study_v at_o all_o shall_v find_v that_o whole_a science_n already_o possess_v by_o himself_o and_o that_o without_o know_v at_o all_o either_o how_o or_o whence_o it_o come_v since_o he_o have_v never_o procure_v to_o acquire_v it_o with_o so_o much_o as_o learn_v his_o a._n b._n c._n and_o this_o last_o comparison_n i_o think_v declare_v some_o part_n of_o this_o celestial_a gift_n for_o the_o soul_n find_v herself_o here_o to_o be_v grow_v wise_a upon_o a_o sudden_a and_o that_o the_o mystery_n of_o the_o most_o holy_a trinity_n and_o other_o most_o sublime_a article_n be_v so_o exact_o declare_v to_o she_o that_o there_o be_v not_o any_o theologue_n or_o divine_a in_o the_o world_n with_o who_o she_o may_v not_o adventure_v to_o dispute_v concern_v the_o truth_n of_o those_o high_a point_n the_o soul_n remain_v here_o in_o such_o a_o amazement_n that_o some_o one_o such_o favour_n as_o this_o suffice_v to_o work_v a_o total_a change_n in_o she_o and_o to_o make_v her_o love_n nothing_o but_o only_o he_o who_o without_o any_o labour_n at_o all_o of_o she_o have_v make_v her_o capable_a of_o so_o unspeakable_a blessing_n and_o to_o who_o he_o communicate_v his_o secret_n and_o who_o he_o treat_v with_o argument_n of_o so_o great_a and_o dear_a friendship_n and_o love_n that_o they_o soul_n endure_v not_o so_o much_o as_o to_o be_v write_v for_o he_o do_v some_o such_o kind_n of_o favour_n as_o may_v even_o bespeak_v a_o kind_n of_o suspicion_n and_o doubt_v in_o the_o hearer_n in_o regard_n that_o they_o be_v of_o so_o great_a admiration_n and_o have_v be_v impart_v to_o a_o person_n who_o have_v deserve_v they_o so_o very_o ill_o and_o in_o fine_a if_o we_o bring_v not_o a_o very_a livelie_a and_o even_o lusty_a faith_n with_o we_o they_o can_v be_v believe_v and_o therefore_o i_o resolve_v to_o speak_v of_o few_o of_o those_o which_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o vouchsafe_v i_o unless_o i_o be_v express_o command_v and_o unless_o it_o be_v of_o some_o few_o vision_n which_o perhaps_o may_v ferue_v to_o do_v good_a in_o some_o kind_n to_o the_o end_n that_o any_o such_o person_n as_o to_o who_o our_o lord_n may_v be_v please_v to_o impart_v the_o like_a may_v not_o wonder_v and_o think_v it_o impossible_a as_o i_o do_v or_o else_o that_o so_o i_o may_v declare_v the_o manner_n and_o way_n by_o which_o it_o have_v please_v our_o lord_n to_o conduct_v my_o soul_n that_o be_v the_o very_a thing_n which_o they_o have_v command_v i_o to_o write_v return_v therefore_o now_o to_o this_o manner_n of_o understand_v these_o kind_n of_o thing_n i_o think_v our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o by_o all_o mean_n this_o soul_n of_o we_o shall_v have_v some_o notice_n here_o even_o of_o that_o which_o pass_v in_o heaven_n and_o that_o as_o soul_n do_v there_o understand_v one_o another_o real_o without_o speak_v which_o for_o my_o part_n i_o never_o know_v before_o and_o this_o be_v most_o certain_o true_a till_o our_o
vision_n which_o the_o soul_n have_v see_v but_o so_o also_o do_v she_o her_o best_a to_o resist_v the_o vexation_n which_o he_o give_v she_o though_o then_o she_o be_v so_o disquiet_v and_o disorder_v even_o by_o this_o very_a diligence_n that_o she_o lose_v that_o devotion_n and_o gust_n which_o she_o have_v before_o and_o remain_v also_o without_o any_o prayer_n at_o all_o this_o happen_v to_o i_o three_z or_o four_o time_n in_o the_o beginning_n as_o i_o be_v say_v but_o this_o of_o the_o false_a vision_n be_v so_o very_o different_a a_o kind_n of_o thing_n from_o the_o other_o that_o whosoever_o have_v arrive_v to_o the_o only_o prayer_n of_o quiet_a will_n i_o believe_v understand_v this_o business_n by_o the_o very_a effect_n which_o have_v be_v speak_v of_o in_o that_o discourse_n which_o concern_v those_o word_n or_o speech_n which_o sometime_o be_v impart_v to_o and_o imprint_v in_o the_o soul_n and_o i_o hold_v this_o assertion_n to_o be_v a_o most_o certain_a thing_n and_o unless_o a_o soul_n shall_v have_v even_o a_o kind_n of_o mind_n to_o be_v abuse_v and_o deceive_v i_o believe_v the_o devil_n will_v not_o be_v able_a to_o do_v it_o if_o she_o walk_v with_o humility_n and_o simplicity_n that_o be_v with_o sincerity_n of_o mind_n whosoever_o i_o say_v have_v receive_v any_o true_a vision_n from_o almighty_a god_n will_v instant_o perceive_v and_o judge_v fancy_n of_o another_o which_o be_v contrary_a and_o false_a for_o though_o any_o such_o false_a one_o may_v begin_v to_o give_v a_o kind_n of_o regalo_n and_o gust_n yet_o the_o soul_n will_v shake_v that_o off_o and_o beside_o in_o my_o opinion_n the_o gust_n will_v be_v even_o different_a in_o itself_o and_o not_o carry_v so_o much_o as_o a_o appearance_n of_o a_o love_n which_o be_v pure_a and_o chaste_a it_o grow_v to_o be_v soon_o discover_v from_o whence_o it_o come_v so_o that_o wheresoever_o there_o be_v any_o experience_n the_o devil_n will_v not_o be_v able_a to_o do_v any_o soul_n hurt_v 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it_o be_v not_o true_a and_o real_a sleep_n it_o will_v not_o sustain_v he_o nor_o give_v strength_n to_o his_o head_n nay_o rather_o it_o will_v sometime_o fall_v out_o to_o be_v so_o much_o the_o more_o idle_a and_o just_o so_o be_v it_o also_o partly_o in_o this_o case_n for_o then_o will_v the_o soul_n grow_v empty_a and_o idle_a and_o not_o be_v sustain_v and_o strong_a but_o rather_o disorder_v and_o disgu_v whereas_o in_o the_o other_o former_a case_n of_o we_o it_o be_v pass_v any_o power_n of_o i_o to_o declare_v what_o treasure_n be_v acquire_v when_o not_o only_o the_o soul_n be_v enrich_v but_o even_o the_o body_n also_o itself_o get_v temper_n and_o health_n now_o this_o reason_n with_o other_o do_v i_o allege_v when_o they_o tell_v i_o sometime_o that_o those_o thing_n be_v of_o the_o devil_n and_o at_o other_o time_n that_o i_o do_v but_o fancy_v they_o to_o myself_o and_o this_o happen_v often_o to_o i_o and_o i_o will_v also_o be_v bring_v certain_a comparison_n the_o best_a i_o can_v and_o our_o lord_n make_v i_o light_n upon_o they_o but_o yet_o all_o serve_v i_o still_o to_o little_a purpose_n for_o there_o be_v very_o holy_a person_n in_o that_o place_n and_o i_o be_v even_o misery_n itself_o in_o comparison_n of_o they_o and_o our_o lord_n not_o guide_v they_o by_o this_o way_n they_o will_v instant_o be_v grow_v into_o fear_n that_o my_o sin_n in_o all_o appearance_n be_v the_o mean_n to_o produce_v those_o effect_n and_o so_o it_o go_v up_o and_o down_o from_o one_o to_o another_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o they_o come_v to_o be_v acquaint_v with_o these_o secret_n of_o i_o though_o for_o my_o part_n i_o discover_v they_o to_o no_o creature_n but_o only_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n or_o to_o such_o as_o he_o direct_v i_o to_o impart_v they_o but_o i_o remember_v i_o say_v to_o they_o once_o that_o if_o they_o who_o tell_v i_o these_o thing_n have_v relate_v to_o i_o that_o some_o person_n with_o who_o i_o have_v be_v much_o acquaint_v and_o with_o who_o i_o have_v speak_v but_o very_o then_o have_v not_o yet_o be_v that_o person_n indeed_o but_o that_o i_o have_v only_o fancy_v it_o to_o myself_o and_o that_o they_o know_v it_o for_o certain_a i_o shall_v without_o all_o doubt_n have_v much_o more_o easy_o believe_v they_o than_o even_o the_o very_a thing_n which_o i_o see_v but_o demonstration_n yet_o now_o on_o the_o other_o side_n if_o that_o person_n have_v leave_v certain_a jewel_n with_o i_o and_o that_o they_o remain_v still_o in_o my_o hand_n as_o pawn_n of_o the_o great_a love_n he_o bear_v i_o and_o that_o former_o i_o have_v be_v the_o owner_n of_o no_o such_o jewel_n whereas_o now_o i_o see_v i_o be_v rich_a who_o before_o have_v be_v so_o poor_a i_o shall_v then_o not_o be_v able_a to_o believe_v they_o even_o though_o i_o desire_v it_o especial_o when_o i_o can_v show_v these_o jewel_n of_o i_o to_o other_o for_o every_o body_n know_v i_o well_o enough_o and_o they_o see_v clear_o that_o my_o soul_n be_v grow_v to_o be_v another_o kind_n of_o thing_n then_o before_o and_o so_o i_o tell_v i_o own_o ghostly_a father_n for_o the_o difference_n be_v come_v to_o be_v great_a in_o many_o kind_n and_o not_o in_o any_o doubtful_a or_o disguiseable_a manner_n but_o so_o as_o that_o all_o creature_n may_v discern_v it_o clear_o and_o i_o remember_v also_o that_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o say_v that_o i_o can_v not_o tell_v how_o to_o believe_v that_o the_o devil_n will_v do_v this_o to_o deceive_v i_o and_o how_o since_o he_o will_v be_v glad_a to_o carry_v i_o away_o with_o he_o to_o hell_n he_o can_v serve_v himself_o of_o this_o mean_n which_o be_v so_o very_a contrary_n to_o his_o own_o end_n namely_o to_o roote-out_a vice_n and_o to_o plant_v virtue_n and_o strength_n of_o spirit_n in_o place_n thereof_o for_o i_o find_v and_o that_o very_o clear_o that_o i_o grow_v once_o at_o a_o instant_n to_o be_v whole_o another_o creature_n than_o i_o be_v before_o my_o ghostly_a father_n as_o i_o 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be_v subject_a to_o much_o trouble_n with_o i_o in_o several_a kind_n and_o afterward_o i_o come_v to_o know_v that_o they_o wish_v he_o to_o take_v heed_n of_o i_o and_o to_o be_v careful_a lest_o the_o devil_n shall_v deceive_v he_o by_o make_v he_o believe_v any_o part_n of_o that_o which_o i_o shall_v tell_v he_o and_o to_o this_o purpose_n they_o will_v be_v allege_v the_o example_n of_o some_o other_o to_o he_o all_o this_o give_v i_o vexation_n enough_o and_o by_o degree_n i_o come_v so_o far_o as_o to_o fear_v that_o i_o shall_v grow_v scarce_o able_a to_o find_v any_o body_n who_o will_v hear_v my_o confession_n but_o that_o every_o one_o will_v be_v fly_v from_o i_o in_o this_o kind_n so_o that_o for_o my_o part_n i_o do_v nothing_o but_o weep_v and_o it_o be_v the_o providence_n of_o almighty_a god_n that_o this_o father_n will_v yet_o still_o continue_v to_o hear_v i_o but_o indeed_o he_o be_v so_o great_a a_o servant_n of_o our_o lord_n that_o there_o be_v nothing_o which_o he_o will_v or_o suffer_v or_o his_o sake_n and_o so_o he_o will_v still_o be_v advise_v i_o to_o be_v sure_a not_o to_o offend_v almighty_a god_n nor_o to_o swerve_v from_o the_o direction_n which_o he_o give_v i_o and_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o fear_v that_o he_o will_v fail_v i_o and_o still_o he_o will_v also_o be_v animate_v and_o quiet_v i_o and_o ever_o he_o will_v in_o particular_a command_v i_o that_o i_o shall_v conceal_v nothing_o from_o he_o which_o i_o always_o observe_v and_o i_o do_v thus_o he_o will_v always_o tell_v i_o that_o the_o devil_n will_v be_v able_a to_o do_v i_o no_o hurt_n but_o rather_o that_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v not_o fail_v to_o draw_v good_a out_o of_o that_o ill_a which_o the_o devil_n will_v be_v attempt_v to_o do_v my_o soul_n this_o soul_n of_o i_o do_v i_o procure_v to_o perfect_v to_o the_o uttermost_a of_o my_o power_n and_o as_o for_o my_o ghostly_a father_n i_o do_v through_o the_o fear_n of_o illusion_n wherein_o i_o be_v obey_v he_o in_o all_o thing_n though_o yet_o but_o after_o a_o imperfect_a manner_n but_o he_o have_v trouble_n enough_o with_o i_o when_o i_o confess_v myself_o to_o he_o in_o these_o difficult_a time_n which_o last_v above_o the_o space_n of_o three_o whole_a year_n for_o in_o the_o great_a persecution_n which_o i_o have_v and_o in_o many_o thing_n wherein_o our_o lord_n permit_v that_o the_o world_n shall_v make_v ill_a judgement_n of_o i_o and_o many_o of_o they_o without_o any_o fault_n of_o i_o i_o will_v ever_o be_v come_v with_o they_o to_o he_o and_o he_o be_v blame_v in_o respect_n of_o i_o whereas_o yet_o he_o be_v in_o no_o fault_n at_o all_o i_o think_v it_o will_v have_v be_v whole_o impossible_a that_o he_o shall_v have_v endure_v it_o so_o long_o if_o he_o have_v not_o be_v a_o man_n of_o much_o sanctity_n but_o our_o lord_n do_v animate_v he_o great_o and_o enable_v he_o to_o endure_v so_o very_a much_o for_o he_o be_v still_o to_o make_v answer_n to_o all_o they_o who_o hold_v i_o to_o be_v a_o lose_a soul_n but_o they_o believe_v he_o not_o and_o on_o the_o other_o side_n he_o be_v also_o to_o take_v care_n to_o quiet_v i_o and_o to_o recover_v i_o out_o of_o that_o fear_n wherein_o i_o be_v by_o fright_v i_o with_o a_o great_a and_o beside_o he_o be_v also_o to_o endeavour_v to_o satisfy_v i_o in_o another_o respect_n in_o regard_n that_o upon_o every_o vision_n which_o be_v new_a to_o i_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o permit_v that_o afterward_o i_o shall_v be_v subject_a to_o very_o great_a fear_n now_o as_o all_o this_o proceed_v both_o from_o my_o be_v and_o have_v be_v a_o very_a great_a sinner_n so_o yet_o will_v he_o comfort_v i_o still_o with_o much_o piety_n and_o compassion_n but_o yet_o still_o if_o he_o have_v confide_v as_o much_o in_o himself_o as_o he_o may_v well_o have_v do_v i_o have_v not_o suffer_v so_o much_o for_o our_o lord_n give_v he_o to_o understand_v the_o truth_n in_o all_o thing_n and_o i_o be_o persuade_v 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a_o unsupportable_a thing_n in_o my_o opinion_n and_o indeed_o it_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o picture_n in_o little_a or_o rather_o a_o pattern_n of_o hell_n and_o this_o be_v most_o certain_o so_o as_o our_o lord_n himself_o be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o to_o understand_v once_o in_o a_o certain_a vision_n for_o here_o the_o soul_n do_v even_o burn_v herself_o up_o of_o herself_o without_o her_o know_v either_o by_o who_o or_o by_o what_o way_n she_o be_v set_v on_o fire_n or_o yet_o how_o to_o escape_v from_o thence_o or_o final_o how_o to_o quench_v it_o for_o as_o for_o seek_v to_o help_v herself_o by_o read_v she_o will_v be_v able_a to_o profit_v by_o it_o no_o more_o then_o if_o she_o can_v not_o read_v at_o all_o it_o happen_v to_o i_o one_o day_n to_o read_v the_o life_n of_o a_o saint_n so_o to_o see_v if_o i_o can_v swallow_v the_o juice_n and_o substance_n thereof_o and_o thus_o to_o comfort_v myself_o with_o the_o consideration_n of_o what_o he_o have_v suffer_v and_o so_o i_o 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though_o they_o have_v even_o resolve_v to_o comfort_v i_o with_o much_o compassion_n and_o pity_n yet_o in_o fine_a they_o be_v not_o able_a to_o do_v it_o not_o yet_o that_o they_o give_v i_o ill_a language_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o to_o offend_v almighty_a god_n by_o it_o but_o they_o will_v use_v word_n as_o full_a of_o disgust_n as_o can_v possible_o be_v hear_v from_o ghostly_a father_n but_o belike_o they_o intend_v to_o mortifye_v i_o which_o though_o at_o other_o time_n i_o can_v pass_v over_o or_o at_o least_o endure_v yet_o then_o it_o grow_v all_o to_o be_v a_o torment_n but_o yet_o sometime_o i_o come_v also_o to_o be_v of_o opinion_n that_o even_o i_o have_v deceive_v they_o yea_o and_o myself_o will_v go_v to_o they_o and_o advise_v they_o in_o very_o great_a good_a earnest_n that_o they_o shall_v take_v heed_n of_o i_o lest_o i_o deceive_v they_o not_o but_o that_o i_o know_v well_o enough_o that_o i_o will_v not_o do_v it_o on_o set_a purpose_n and_o upon_o design_n nor_o tell_v they_o by_o any_o mean_n any_o lie_n but_o the_o truth_n be_v i_o be_v afraid_a of_o all_o thing_n there_o be_v one_o who_o hear_v of_o this_o temptation_n of_o i_o advise_v i_o not_o to_o be_v trouble_v at_o it_o for_o humour_n though_o i_o shall_v have_v a_o mind_n to_o cozen_v he_o yet_o he_o have_v wit_n enough_o to_o defend_v himself_o from_o i_o that_o which_o sometime_o give_v i_o great_a comfort_n and_o as_o it_o be_v constant_o or_o at_o least_o most_o ordinary_o be_v that_o i_o use_v to_o have_v some_o kind_n of_o respite_n after_o i_o have_v communicate_v yea_o and_o sometime_o even_o in_o approach_v to_o the_o bless_a sacrament_n at_o the_o very_a instant_n i_o shall_v grow_v so_o very_o perfect_o well_o both_o in_o body_n and_o soul_n that_o it_o do_v even_o amaze_v i_o for_o it_o seem_v to_o be_v no_o other_o thing_n then_o that_o all_o the_o darkness_n of_o my_o soul_n be_v disperse_v and_o discharge_v at_o a_o instant_n and_o that_o upon_o the_o approach_n of_o the_o sun_n i_o quick_o come_v to_o discern_v those_o foolery_n wherein_o i_o have_v find_v myself_o all_o that_o while_n at_o other_o time_n by_o the_o hear_n of_o some_o one_o word_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o say_v to_o i_o and_o with_o only_o express_v himself_o thus_o be_v not_o afflict_v and_o be_v not_o afraid_a as_o former_o i_o have_v relate_v i_o remain_v most_o perfect_o well_o and_o sometime_o by_o see_v some_o vision_n i_o become_v as_o if_o i_o have_v never_o feel_v any_o inconvenience_n and_o in_o those_o case_n i_o will_v be_v entertain_v and_o regal_v myself_o with_o almighty_a god_n and_o will_v even_o kind_o complain_v to_o he_o against_o himself_o for_o permit_v i_o to_o suffer_v so_o great_a torment_n though_o yet_o i_o must_v confess_v that_o he_o have_v first_o mean_v to_o make_v i_o very_o good_a amends_o because_o these_o difficulty_n do_v never_o use_v to_o arrive_v but_o after_o a_o great_a abundance_n of_o favour_n and_o i_o think_v he_o ordain_v thing_n so_o to_o the_o end_n that_o the_o soul_n may_v appear_v like_o gold_n which_o come_v refine_v and_o pure_a out_o of_o the_o crusible_a and_o that_o so_o she_o may_v see_v our_o lord_n in_o herself_o and_o then_o do_v those_o trouble_n which_o arrive_v grow_v to_o be_v account_v little_a though_o they_o seem_v insupportable_a at_o the_o time_n and_o we_o desire_v that_o we_o may_v return_v again_o to_o suffer_v if_o our_o lord_n may_v be_v serve_v the_o better_a by_o it_o yea_o and_o to_o admit_v also_o of_o more_o tribulation_n and_o persecution_n provide_v always_o that_o they_o may_v happen_v without_o offence_n of_o our_o lord_n nay_o we_o rather_o will_v rejoice_v in_o suffer_v for_o he_o for_o all_o will_n in_o the_o end_n bring_v more_o profit_n though_o yet_o for_o my_o part_n i_o can_v never_o bear_v they_o as_o i_o ought_v but_o rather_o with_o abundance_n of_o imperfection_n at_o other_o time_n these_o trouble_n will_v come_v upon_o i_o in_o other_o kind_n and_o so_o as_o that_o i_o think_v it_o be_v absolute_o a_o kind_n of_o impossible_a thing_n for_o i_o to_o think_v then_o of_o any_o thing_n which_o be_v good_a yea_o or_o so_o much_o as_o to_o desire_v to_o do_v any_o such_o thing_n for_o that_o i_o have_v both_o a_o body_n and_o a_o soul_n which_o be_v absolute_o untoward_a and_o good_a for_o nothing_o but_o at_o those_o time_n i_o be_o not_o subject_a to_o those_o other_o temptation_n and_o disquiet_v but_o only_o to_o a_o disgust_n in_o all_o thing_n though_o i_o know_v not_o why_o so_o that_o nothing_o can_v give_v contentment_n to_o my_o soul_n and_o then_o i_o will_v be_v sometime_o procure_v to_o divert_v and_o employ_v myself_o upon_o the_o perform_n of_o some_o good_a work_n in_o the_o exterior_a way_n and_o i_o will_v do_v so_o even_o half_a whether_o myself_o will_v or_o no._n but_o in_o fine_a i_o be_o come_v at_o length_n to_o know_v by_o such_o mean_n as_o these_o how_o very_o little_a any_o soul_n be_v worth_a whensoever_o the_o grace_n of_o almighty_a god_n be_v hide_v from_o she_o and_o this_o kind_n of_o consideration_n use_v not_o to_o put_v i_o to_o any_o trouble_n at_o all_o for_o the_o behold_v my_o own_o baseness_n after_o this_o manner_n be_v wont_a to_o give_v i_o a_o kind_n of_o satisfaction_n at_o other_o time_n i_o find_v myself_o so_o as_o that_o i_o be_o utter_o unable_a to_o frame_v any_o distinct_a or_o form_v conceit_n of_o almighty_a god_n nor_o indeed_o of_o any_o good_a thing_n after_o a_o staid_a manner_n nor_o be_o i_o able_a then_o to_o put_v myself_o in_o prayer_n though_o i_o
and_o certain_o i_o will_v have_v suffer_v many_o year_n for_o the_o advantage_n and_o deliverance_n of_o a_o soul_n let_v our_o lord_n be_v praise_v for_o all_o for_o the_o prayer_n of_o such_o as_o serve_v he_o well_o can_v do_v much_o as_o i_o believe_v my_o sister_n do_v of_o this_o house_n but_o yet_o because_o i_o have_v be_v earnest_a in_o procure_v those_o prayer_n the_o devil_n will_v be_v more_o enrage_v against_o i_o then_o against_o other_o and_o our_o lord_n also_o permit_v that_o for_o my_o sin_n about_o this_o time_n also_o i_o once_o think_v that_o the_o devil_n will_v even_o have_v strangle_v i_o &_o it_o be_v by_o night_n but_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o have_v cause_v holie-water_n to_o be_v cast_v upon_o i_o i_o see_v a_o multitude_n of_o they_o run_v away_o as_o if_o they_o have_v be_v about_o to_o break_v their_o neck_n from_o some_o high_a rock_n and_o it_o be_v so_o frequent_a and_o familiar_a with_o i_o to_o be_v torment_v by_o these_o curse_a wretch_n and_o the_o fear_n which_o now_o i_o have_v of_o they_o be_v grow_v to_o be_v so_o very_o little_a by_o see_v that_o they_o be_v not_o so_o much_o as_o able_a to_o stir_v unless_o our_o bless_a lord_n give_v they_o leave_v that_o although_o it_o may_v be_v of_o comfort_n to_o myself_o yet_o i_o shall_v not_o fail_v to_o weary_v your_o reverence_n if_o i_o relate_v they_o but_o even_o that_o which_o be_v say_v already_o may_v serve_v to_o show_v that_o any_o true_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n may_v need_v to_o trouble_v themselves_o little_a at_o these_o idle_a fright_n and_o bugg-beares_a which_o the_o devil_n be_v wont_a to_o expose_v that_o so_o they_o may_v make_v we_o fear_v they_o and_o in_o fine_a let_v the_o world_n be_v sure_a that_o every_o time_n when_o we_o make_v they_o see_v that_o we_o despise_v they_o they_o will_v remain_v with_o so_o much_o the_o less_o strength_n after_o it_o and_o the_o soul_n as_o be_v a_o great_a princess_n than_o she_o be_v before_o will_v remain_v with_o so_o much_o more_o power_n and_o profit_n as_o i_o will_v not_o stand_v here_o to_o relate_v for_o fear_v of_o too_o much_o length_n but_o now_o i_o will_v only_o declare_v what_o happen_v to_o i_o once_o upon_o a_o all-soule_n day_n at_o night_n for_o be_v at_o that_o time_n in_o the_o oratory_n and_o have_v recite_v matin_n as_o also_o those_o so_o very_o devout_a prayer_n which_o be_v at_o the_o end_n thereof_o according_a to_o the_o breviarie_n the_o devil_n put_v himself_o upon_o the_o book_n to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v not_o finish_v the_o prayer_n but_o i_o bless_v myself_o with_o make_v the_o sign_n of_o the_o holy_a cross_n and_o so_o he_o go_v present_o away_o but_o i_o begin_v again_o he_o also_o return_v and_o i_o think_v it_o be_v no_o less_o that_o the_o like_v happen_v than_o three_o time_n and_o till_o i_o cast_v holie-water_n at_o he_o i_o can_v not_o make_v a_o end_n of_o the_o business_n but_o then_o i_o plain_o see_v that_o some_o soul_n go_v out_o of_o purgatory_n at_o the_o instant_n who_o belike_o want_v very_o little_a of_o their_o deliverance_n and_o perhaps_o the_o devil_n mean_v to_o divert_v it_o it_o be_v seldom_o that_o i_o have_v see_v the_o devil_n in_o any_o exact_a and_o particular_a form_n or_o figure_n but_o many_o time_n without_o form_n as_o i_o do_v the_o vision_n for_o a_o body_n see_v very_o clear_o that_o he_o be_v there_o as_o i_o have_v declare_v already_o and_o i_o will_v now_o relate_v this_o also_o because_o it_o amaze_v i_o very_o much_o be_v one_o day_n in_o a_o certain_a monastery_n and_o in_o the_o choir_n and_o upon_o the_o festivitie_n of_o the_o bless_a trinity_n i_o chance_v to_o be_v in_o rapt_v and_o i_o see_v a_o great_a contention_n and_o strife_n between_o angel_n and_o devil_n yet_o not_o know_v what_o that_o vision_n may_v mean_v but_o about_o some_o fifteen_o day_n before_o it_o be_v hear_v that_o a_o certain_a great_a disagreement_n have_v happen_v between_o some_o person_n who_o be_v of_o prayer_n and_o many_o other_o also_o who_o be_v not_o so_o &_o there_o come_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o harm_n to_o the_o place_n where_o this_o occur_v for_o the_o strife_n continue_v long_o and_o it_o breed_v a_o very_a great_a deal_n of_o disquiet_n another_o time_n i_o see_v a_o multitude_n of_o they_o all_o round_a about_o i_o but_o then_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o be_v environ_v with_o a_o great_a kind_n of_o light_n which_o permit_v they_o not_o to_o approach_v and_o i_o understand_v thereby_o that_o our_o lord_n keep_v they_o off_o from_o come_v near_o i_o in_o any_o such_o sort_n as_o to_o make_v i_o offend_v his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o by_o that_o which_o i_o have_v find_v sometime_o in_o myself_o i_o conceive_v that_o it_o be_v a_o true_a vision_n the_o matter_n be_v that_o i_o now_o understand_v so_o very_o well_o how_o little_a power_n they_o have_v whensoever_o i_o go_v not_o against_o god_n that_o in_o effect_n i_o do_v not_o fear_v they_o at_o all_o for_o their_o strength_n be_v direct_o nothing_o unless_o they_o find_v the_o soul_n they_o set_v upon_o to_o be_v cowardly_a and_o yield_v to_o they_o but_o then_o indeed_o they_o show_v their_o power_n in_o some_o of_o those_o former_a temptation_n i_o think_v they_o employ_v themselves_o now_o and_o then_o upon_o awake_v and_o reviue_v in_o i_o the_o memory_n of_o all_o the_o frailty_n and_o vanity_n of_o my_o former_a time_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o i_o have_v good_a cause_n to_o recommend_v myself_o much_o to_o almighty_a god_n but_o this_o put_v i_o to_o very_o much_o pain_n by_o make_v it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o now_o it_o be_v all_o of_o the_o devil_n since_o those_o thought_n of_o i_o return_v till_o such_o time_n as_o my_o ghostly_a father_n put_v i_o in_o quiet_a for_o real_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o even_o the_o first_o motion_n of_o ill_a thought_n be_v not_o so_o much_o as_o to_o approach_v any_o such_o person_n as_o have_v receive_v so_o great_a favour_n of_o our_o b._n lord_n at_o other_o time_n it_o torment_v i_o much_o yea_o and_o even_o it_o torment_v i_o still_o to_o see_v that_o man_n shall_v hold_v i_o in_o so_o high_a account_n and_o especial_o that_o it_o shall_v be_v do_v by_o eminent_a person_n and_o that_o they_o shall_v speak_v so_o much_o good_a of_o i_o and_o in_o this_o i_o have_v suffer_v and_o still_o suffer_v much_o but_o i_o quick_o cast_v my_o thought_n upon_o the_o life_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n and_o his_o saint_n and_o i_o think_v i_o walk_v in_o a_o way_n which_o be_v very_o contrary_a to_o that_o of_o they_o for_o they_o aspire_v to_o nothing_o but_o to_o be_v subject_a to_o injury_n and_o contempt_n and_o this_o make_v i_o walk_v with_o such_o fear_n as_o that_o i_o even_o sarce_o dare_v hold_v up_o my_o head_n and_o will_v be_v glad_a to_o get_v myself_o out_o of_o sight_n which_o yet_o i_o never_o desire_v when_o i_o find_v myself_o subject_a to_o persecution_n for_o then_o my_o soul_n carry_v herself_o like_o a_o great_a lady_n whatsoever_o the_o body_n may_v feel_v i_o know_v not_o how_o these_o thing_n can_v stand_v but_o yet_o they_o pass_v in_o such_o sort_n that_o the_o soul_n seem_v then_o to_o be_v as_o in_o her_o kingdom_n and_o that_o she_o tread_v and_o trample_v all_o thing_n under_o her_o foot_n this_o occur_v to_o i_o several_a time_n and_o the_o same_o continue_v long_o and_o i_o think_v it_o be_v virtue_n and_o humility_n but_o now_o i_o see_v plain_o enough_o that_o it_o be_v a_o temptation_n and_o a_o dominican_n father_n a_o learned_a man_n declare_v it_o to_o i_o very_o well_o when_o i_o conceive_v that_o these_o favour_n which_o our_o b._n lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o will_v grow_v to_o be_v public_o know_v it_o be_v of_o so_o excessive_a a_o torment_n to_o i_o that_o it_o extreme_o disquiet_v my_o soul_n and_o it_o come_v at_o length_n to_o that_o pass_v that_o whilst_o i_o be_v consider_v the_o same_o i_o can_v more_o willing_o have_v be_v content_v to_o be_v bury_v quick_a then_o that_o any_o such_o thing_n shall_v arrive_v and_o so_o when_o i_o come_v to_o have_v those_o so_o great_a recollection_n and_o rapt_n as_o that_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a for_o i_o to_o resist_v they_o in_o public_a iremain_v so_o confound_v with_o shame_n afterward_o that_o i_o will_v have_v be_v glad_a not_o to_o appear_v where_o any_o creature_n who_o know_v i_o may_v see_v i_o and_o be_v once_o extreme_o afflict_v upon_o this_o account_n i_o be_v ask_v by_o our_o bless_a lord_n what_o it_o be_v whereof_o i_o be_v so_o much_o afraid_a for_o
which_o be_v but_o a_o kind_n of_o shadow_n of_o such_o thing_n as_o be_v suffer_v in_o that_o place_n she_o begin_v also_o to_o declare_v the_o way_n and_o manner_n how_o that_o monastery_n be_v found_v in_o auila_n under_o the_o name_n of_o s._n joseph_n after_o a_o long_a time_n when_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v already_o do_v i_o many_o of_o those_o favour_n which_o i_o have_v here_o relate_v as_o other_o also_o which_o be_v very_o great_a i_o find_v one_o day_n whilst_o i_o be_v in_o prayer_n though_o i_o can_v not_o tell_v how_o that_o i_o be_v place_v in_o hell_n and_o i_o understand_v that_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v see_v the_o place_n which_o the_o party_n devil_n have_v prepare_v for_o i_o and_o which_o i_o have_v deserve_v for_o my_o she_o sin_n this_o last_v but_o a_o very_a little_a space_n of_o time_n but_o yet_o if_o i_o shall_v live_v many_o year_n i_o hold_v it_o for_o a_o impossible_a thing_n that_o ever_o i_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o forget_v it_o the_o entry_n thereof_o seem_v body_n to_o i_o to_o be_v after_o the_o manner_n of_o a_o long_a and_o straight_o lane_n or_o rather_o as_o if_o it_o have_v be_v a_o low_a narrow_a long_a and_o dark_a oven_n the_o ground_n seem_v to_o be_v as_o if_o it_o have_v be_v like_o water_n all_o thicken_a with_o dirt_n and_o it_o be_v both_o very_a filthy_a and_o of_o a_o most_o pestilential_a smell_n and_o have_v a_o multitude_n of_o loathsome_a vermin_n as_o fly_n and_o worm_n and_o such_o other_o ugly_a creature_n in_o it_o at_o the_o end_n of_o it_o there_o be_v a_o certain_a hollow_a place_n as_o if_o it_o have_v be_v a_o kind_n of_o a_o little_a press_n in_o a_o wall_n into_o which_o i_o see_v myself_o crowd_v with_o great_a constraint_n now_o all_o that_o be_v even_o delightful_a to_o the_o sight_n in_o comparison_n of_o what_o i_o feel_v there_o and_o this_o which_o i_o have_v say_v of_o it_o already_o i_o also_o find_v to_o be_v very_o imperfect_o describe_v but_o as_o for_o the_o feel_v part_n the_o very_a beginning_n to_o say_v what_o it_o be_v be_v a_o thing_n which_o can_v neither_o be_v well_o no_o nor_o even_o almost_o at_o all_o relate_v as_o it_o be_v indeed_o in_o regard_n that_o i_o feel_v a_o certain_a fire_n in_o my_o very_a soul_n though_o yet_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o declare_v it_o as_o indeed_o it_o be_v for_o all_o those_o almost_o insupportable_a torment_n which_o i_o have_v feel_v with_o all_o extremi_fw-la tie_n in_o this_o life_n and_o whereof_o the_o physician_n be_v wont_a to_o affirm_v that_o even_o in_o the_o corporeal_a way_n they_o be_v the_o great_a which_o can_v be_v suffer_v in_o this_o world_n as_o namely_o that_o shrinking-up_a of_o all_o my_o sinew_n when_o i_o instant_o grow_v lame_a by_o it_o beside_o many_o other_o torment_n in_o several_a kind_n as_o also_o that_o i_o have_v be_v vex_v much_o by_o the_o devil_n be_v all_o no_o more_o then_o absolute_o just_a nothing_o in_o comparison_n of_o what_o i_o feel_v in_o that_o place_n beside_o my_o know_v with_o all_o this_o that_o no_o part_n of_o it_o be_v ever_o to_o cease_v but_o to_o continue_v without_o ever_o have_v a_o end_n and_o yet_o even_o all_o this_o which_o i_o have_v say_v be_v also_o nothing_o in_o comparison_n of_o that_o continual_a agonize_a of_o the_o soul_n that_o press_v that_o stifle_v which_o be_v so_o very_o sensible_a a_o affliction_n together_o with_o that_o desperate_a kind_n of_o discontent_n and_o disgust_v and_o repine_v which_o i_o be_o no_o way_n able_a to_o express_v for_o to_o say_v that_o it_o be_v a_o continual_a tear_v of_o the_o soul_n into_o fitter_n be_v to_o say_v little_a since_o in_o that_o case_n it_o seem_v that_o it_o must_v be_v some_o other_o body_n who_o tear_n it_o but_o in_o this_o the_o soul_n itself_o be_v the_o very_a executioner_n which_o even_o tear_v itself_o there_o be_v beside_o all_o that_o another_o strange_a ingredient_n which_o be_v that_o interior_a kind_n of_o fire_n and_o that_o unspeakable_a despair_n upon_o those_o intolerable_a torment_n and_o sorrow_n i_o see_v not_o who_o it_o be_v that_o inflict_v these_o thing_n but_o i_o think_v i_o find_v myself_o to_o be_v slice_v and_o mince_a and_o press_v and_o burn_v all_o at_o once_o and_o i_o say_v and_o say_v again_o that_o that_o interior_a fire_n and_o despair_n be_v the_o very_o worst_a of_o it_o all_o whilst_o i_o be_v in_o this_o most_o pestilential_a place_n and_o that_o without_o any_o possibility_n of_o ever_o so_o much_o as_o once_o hope_v for_o any_o comfort_n at_o all_o there_o be_v no_o such_o thing_n to_o be_v think_v of_o as_o sit_v or_o extend_v myself_o nor_o be_v there_o any_o place_n void_a to_o receive_v one_o though_o yet_o they_o have_v put_v i_o into_o that_o thing_n which_o be_v like_o a_o hole_n in_o a_o wall_n because_o even_o those_o very_a wall_n which_o be_v also_o most_o hideous_a to_o the_o sight_n do_v even_o press_v their_o very_a self_n close_o towards_o and_o upon_o one_o another_o and_o every_o thing_n there_o help_v to_o choke_v there_o be_v also_o no_o light_n in_o that_o place_n but_o all_o be_v gross_a and_o even_o palpable_a darkness_n for_o my_o part_n i_o understand_v not_o how_o this_o can_v be_v for_o with_o have_v no_o light_n at_o all_o yet_o all_o that_o which_o may_v be_v able_a to_o give_v any_o vexation_n to_o the_o sight_n be_v discern_v and_o see_v our_o lord_n be_v not_o please_v at_o that_o time_n that_o i_o shall_v see_v any_o more_o of_o hell_n but_o afterward_o i_o have_v another_o vision_n of_o most_o fearful_a thing_n and_o of_o the_o punishment_n of_o certain_a particular_a vice_n and_o forasmuch_o as_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o discern_v and_o judge_v of_o by_o the_o sight_n these_o seem_v to_o be_v even_o more_o hideous_a than_o the_o former_a but_o yet_o in_o regard_n that_o i_o feel_v not_o the_o pain_n of_o it_o they_o make_v i_o not_o so_o much_o afraid_a for_o in_o this_o other_o present_a vision_n our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v real_o feel_v those_o torment_n and_o affliction_n in_o spirit_n even_o as_o if_o my_o very_a body_n have_v be_v suffer_v they_o there_o favour_n i_o know_v not_o how_o all_o this_o can_v be_v but_o yet_o i_o understand_v well_o enough_o that_o it_o be_v a_o very_a great_a favour_n and_o that_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v discern_v as_o even_o by_o the_o very_a sight_n of_o my_o own_o eye_n from_o whence_o his_o great_a mercy_n have_v deliver_v i_o for_o it_o be_v nothing_o to_o have_v hear_v talk_n of_o it_o nor_o that_o at_o other_o time_n i_o have_v consider_v several_a sort_n of_o torment_n though_o yet_o i_o do_v it_o not_o often_o for_o i_o like_v not_o that_o very_o well_o in_o regard_n of_o the_o fear_v it_o give_v i_o nor_o yet_o that_o the_o devil_n be_v wont_a to_o tear_v man_n in_o piece_n with_o hot_a pincer_n nor_o any_o other_o thing_n whereof_o i_o have_v read_v for_o all_z in_o fine_a be_v nothing_o if_o once_o it_o be_v compare_v to_o this_o since_o this_o be_v whole_o another_o kind_n of_o thing_n and_o the_o torment_n of_o this_o world_n compare_v with_o this_o be_v no_o more_o than_o a_o mere_a picture_n in_o comparison_n of_o the_o life_n the_o very_a burn_a which_o be_v feel_v in_o this_o world_n be_v but_o a_o very_a trifle_n in_o respect_n of_o that_o other_o for_o my_o part_n i_o remain_v astonish_v and_o amaze_v at_o it_o and_o so_o i_o be_o even_o whilst_o i_o be_o write_v these_o thing_n though_o it_o happen_v to_o i_o six_o year_n ago_o and_o it_o be_v a_o most_o real_a truth_n that_o even_o now_o in_o the_o very_a place_n where_o i_o be_o but_o think_v of_o they_o the_o natural_a heat_n of_o my_o body_n begin_v to_o fail_v i_o even_o for_o very_a fear_n not_o do_v i_o ever_o remember_v what_o pass_v then_o but_o that_o all_o my_o affliction_n and_o trouble_n and_o whatsoever_o can_v be_v suffer_v in_o this_o life_n seem_v nothing_o to_o i_o and_o so_o also_o i_o think_v it_o seem_v that_o in_o part_n we_o complain_v here_o without_o reason_n and_o therefore_o i_o say_v again_o that_o this_o be_v one_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n that_o i_o ever_o receive_v in_o my_o whole_a life_n at_o the_o hand_n of_o our_o lord_n for_o it_o favour_n have_v benefit_v i_o very_o much_o both_o towards_o the_o make_v i_o loose_v all_o fear_n and_o care_n concern_v the_o tribulation_n and_o contradiction_n of_o this_o life_n as_o also_o to_o give_v i_o strength_n towards_o the_o endure_a they_o and_o final_o to_o render_v thanks_n to_o our_o bless_a lord_n for_o deliver_v i_o as_o now_o i_o
may_v hope_v from_o those_o terrible_a and_o perpetual_a torment_n since_o that_o time_n as_o i_o be_v say_v there_o be_v nothing_o which_o seem_v not_o easy_a to_o i_o in_o comparison_n of_o one_o moment_n of_o that_o which_o be_v to_o be_v suffer_v there_o and_o i_o be_v in_o a_o very_a great_a wonder_n that_o have_v so_o often_o read_v diverse_a book_n which_o give_v i_o some_o notice_n of_o a_o part_n of_o the_o torment_n of_o hell_n i_o fear_v they_o so_o little_a and_o hold_v they_o in_o so_o small_a account_n consider_v in_o what_o case_n i_o be_v then_o and_o how_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o i_o to_o receive_v contentment_n in_o any_o such_o thing_n as_o final_o be_v to_o carry_v i_o on_o to_o so_o wretched_a a_o place_n as_o that_o be_v be_v thou_o eternal_o bless_v o_o my_o god_n for_o how_o well_o have_v thou_o make_v it_o appear_v that_o thou_o love_v i_o incomparable_o better_a than_o i_o do_v myself_o how_o often_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n have_v thou_o deliver_v i_o from_o that_o dark_a and_o horrible_a dungeon_n and_o how_o often_o have_v i_o return_v to_o cast_v myself_o in_o thither_o again_o even_o against_o thy_o will_n from_o hence_o also_o i_o get_v a_o facility_n to_o be_v in_o very_o great_a pain_n for_o the_o many_o soul_n of_o these_o lutheran_n which_o be_v condemn_v to_o hell_n and_o especial_o because_o they_o have_v once_o be_v member_n of_o the_o holy_a catholic_a church_n by_o their_o baptism_n i_o gain_v also_o great_a impulse_n to_o do_v good_a to_o soul_n and_o real_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o to_o be_v very_o certain_a that_o for_o the_o save_n of_o any_o of_o they_o from_o so_o grievous_a and_o everlasting_a torment_n i_o can_v suffer_v many_o death_n with_o a_o very_a good_a will_n for_o i_o consider_v that_o if_o we_o see_v a_o person_n in_o this_o world_n who_o we_o love_v undergo_v any_o great_a affliction_n or_o pain_n it_o seem_v that_o even_o our_o natural_a disposition_n invite_v we_o to_o have_v compassion_n of_o the_o case_n and_o so_o much_o as_o that_o pain_n be_v great_a so_o much_o the_o more_o and_o therefore_o now_o to_o see_v a_o soul_n which_o be_v for_o ever_o to_o be_v enchain_v to_o the_o endure_v of_o that_o supreme_a affliction_n and_o misery_n of_o all_o misery_n who_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o bear_v it_o and_o what_o hart_n can_v ever_o brook_v it_o without_o strange_a trouble_n and_o since_o we_o be_v move_v here_o to_o so_o much_o compassion_n of_o man_n who_o misery_n have_v yet_o a_o term_n prefix_v and_o at_o the_o further_a they_o be_v to_o end_v with_o their_o life_n how_o shall_v we_o be_v able_a to_o get_v patience_n for_o think_v of_o the_o infinite_a torment_n of_o those_o other_o consider_v what_o a_o huge_a number_n of_o soul_n the_o devil_n be_v daily_o carry_v into_o hell_n this_o consideration_n also_o make_v i_o desire_v that_o in_o a_o business_n of_o so_o mighty_a importance_n we_o may_v not_o be_v satisfy_v with_o less_o than_o the_o do_v of_o the_o very_a uttermost_a we_o can_v on_o our_o part_n and_o that_o we_o leave_v nothing_o at_o all_o unattempted_a to_o secure_v ourselves_o by_o that_o mean_n and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n to_o give_v we_o all_o his_o grace_n for_o this_o purpose_n when_o i_o consider_v that_o howsoever_o i_o be_v former_o most_o wicked_a yet_o have_v i_o some_o little_a care_n to_o ferue_v almighty_a god_n not_o yet_o do_v i_o then_o commit_v certain_a thing_n which_o be_v take_v and_o swallow_v down_o by_o the_o world_n as_o familiar_o as_o to_o turn_v the_o hand_n and_o with_o this_o i_o endure_v huge_a sickness_n and_o i_o do_v it_o with_o that_o great_a patience_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o for_o that_o purpose_n and_o i_o be_v also_o not_o incline_v to_o murmur_v and_o detract_v or_o to_o speak_v hardly_o of_o any_o creature_n nay_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o as_o if_o i_o scarce_o have_v power_n to_o with_o any_o body_n any_o ill_n nor_o be_v i_o covetous_a nor_o envious_a for_o any_o thing_n that_o i_o can_v ever_o remember_v at_o least_o to_o any_o such_o proportion_n as_o may_v result_v to_o the_o great_a offence_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o some_o other_o thing_n also_o there_o be_v wherein_o though_o i_o be_v very_o wicked_a i_o have_v usual_o the_o fear_n of_o almighty_a god_n before_o i_o and_o yet_o notwithstanding_o all_o this_o i_o see_v where_o the_o devil_n 471._o have_v take_v up_o and_o provide_v my_o lodging_n and_o it_o be_v true_a that_o consider_v what_o my_o fault_n have_v be_v it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o yet_o deserve_v more_o punishment_n but_o howsoever_o upon_o the_o whole_a matter_n i_o declare_v that_o it_o be_v a_o most_o horrible_a torment_n and_o and_o that_o it_o be_v a_o dangerous_a thing_n that_o the_o soul_n shall_v take_v contentment_n and_o be_v at_o rest_n which_o be_v fall_v every_o minute_n into_o mortal_a sinne._n nay_o rather_o for_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n let_v we_o remove_v all_o the_o occasion_n thereof_o for_o our_o lord_n will_v help_v we_o all_o as_o he_o have_v do_v i_o and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n not_o to_o give_v over_o to_o hold_v i_o fast_o in_o his_o hand_n least_z if_o he_o do_v i_o return_v to_o fall_v for_o in_o that_o case_n i_o see_v already_o what_o be_v to_o become_v of_o i_o for_o ever_o but_o i_o beseech_v our_o b._n lord_n again_o not_o to_o suffer_v it_o even_o for_o his_o own_o mercy_n sake_n amen_n but_o now_o after_o my_o see_v all_o this_o as_o also_o many_o other_o great_a thing_n and_o secret_n which_o our_o lord_n through_o his_o own_o mercy_n be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o concern_v the_o glory_n which_o be_v design_v in_o the_o next_o life_n for_o the_o good_a and_o the_o torment_n for_o the_o wicked_a and_o i_o procure_v now_o to_o light_v upon_o some_o way_n or_o mean_n whereby_o i_o may_v do_v penance_n for_o so_o much_o ill_a as_o i_o have_v commit_v and_o may_v be_v able_a also_o to_o do_v somewhat_o towards_o the_o obtain_n of_o so_o great_a a_o good_a i_o desire_v even_o to_o fly_v out_o of_o the_o sight_n of_o mankind_n and_o now_o at_o length_n once_o for_o all_o to_o divide_v myself_o from_o the_o world_n and_o to_o part_v from_o it_o and_o my_o hart_n will_v now_o be_v quiet_a no_o long_o but_o yet_o be_v not_o that_o disquiet_n of_o i_o any_o troublesome_a kind_n of_o thing_n but_o rather_o of_o contentment_n and_o gust_n and_o it_o be_v evident_a that_o it_o come_v from_o almighty_a god_n and_o that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v give_v heat_n enough_o to_o this_o soul_n of_o i_o for_o the_o digest_v of_o other_o and_o strong_a meat_n than_o she_o have_v former_o take_v cause_n and_o now_o i_o begin_v to_o consider_v what_o i_o may_v possible_o he_o able_a to_o do_v for_o almighty_a god_n and_o the_o first_o thing_n i_o think_v be_v to_o follow_v that_o first_o call_v which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v give_v i_o to_o lead_v a_o religious_a life_n and_o that_o by_o the_o observance_n of_o my_o rule_n with_o the_o great_a perfection_n that_o i_o can_v practice_v and_o though_o there_o be_v in_o the_o monastery_n wherein_o i_o find_v myself_o at_o that_o time_n many_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n by_o who_o he_o be_v very_o much_o serve_v in_o that_o place_n yet_o in_o regard_n they_o want_v temporal_a mean_n many_o of_o the_o religious_a woman_n be_v cast_v into_o a_o kind_n of_o necessity_n to_o go_v abroad_o sometime_o for_o relief_n of_o the_o house_n but_o yet_o they_o do_v it_o so_o as_o to_o pass_v with_o all_o kind_n of_o chastity_n and_o piety_n and_o beside_o that_o house_n be_v not_o found_v according_a to_o the_o first_o rigour_n of_o the_o rule_n but_o only_o the_o same_o rule_n be_v observe_v in_o conformity_n with_o all_o the_o rest_n of_o the_o order_n according_a to_o the_o bull_n of_o relaxation_n and_o dispensation_n there_o be_v also_o some_o other_o inconvenience_n and_o beside_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o the_o place_n be_v of_o much_o regalo_n in_o regard_n that_o it_o be_v both_o large_a and_o pleasant_a but_o especial_o the_o inconvenience_n of_o go_v sometime_o out_o of_o the_o monastery_n be_v grow_v to_o be_v a_o very_a great_a one_o for_o i_o though_o former_o i_o have_v be_v one_o who_o make_v most_o familiar_a use_n of_o it_o myself_o in_o regard_n that_o sometime_o some_o person_n who_o the_o superior_n be_v importune_v can_v not_o well_o refuse_v take_v contentment_n that_o i_o shall_v accompany_v they_o who_o go_v abroad_o and_o by_o this_o mean_n according_a to_o the_o use_n which_o be_v hold_v i_o may_v grow_v by_o degree_n to_o remain_v very_o
if_o he_o have_v still_o like_v it_o myself_o have_v be_v excuse_v and_o discharge_v with_o all_o the_o world_n but_o yet_o they_o be_v not_o so_o favourable_a to_o my_o companion_n for_o she_o they_o will_v not_o absolve_v but_o leave_v she_o to_o herself_o yea_o and_o they_o say_v that_o she_o be_v oblige_v to_o take_v away_o the_o scandal_n she_o go_v therefore_o to_o a_o great_a learned_a man_n and_o a_o great_a servant_n of_o god_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n to_o tell_v he_o what_o have_v pass_v and_o indeed_o to_o give_v he_o account_v of_o the_o whole_a business_n and_o this_o be_v before_o the_o provincial_n have_v give_v it_o over_o for_o now_o there_o be_v no_o creature_n in_o the_o whole_a town_n who_o will_v give_v we_o any_o opinion_n in_o the_o case_n and_o therefore_o they_o may_v well_o affirm_v as_o they_o do_v that_o we_o proceed_v in_o all_o this_o of_o our_o own_o head_n but_o that_o lady_n make_v relation_n of_o the_o whole_a business_n to_o this_o holy_a man_n and_o acquaint_v he_o with_o the_o rent_n which_o she_o mean_v to_o settle_v upon_o it_o out_o of_o her_o own_o estate_n with_o much_o desire_n that_o he_o will_v assist_v we_o for_o he_o be_v the_o great_a learned_a man_n in_o all_o that_o town_n at_o that_o time_n and_o perhaps_o there_o be_v not_o many_o more_o learned_a in_o his_o whole_a order_n i_o tell_v he_o also_o of_o all_o that_o which_o we_o intend_v to_o do_v and_o some_o motive_n thereof_o but_o i_o acquaint_v he_o not_o with_o any_o revelation_n of_o i_o but_o only_o with_o those_o natural_a reason_n which_o move_v i_o for_o i_o desire_v not_o that_o he_o shall_v give_v we_o any_o opinion_n but_o according_a to_o they_o and_o he_o on_o the_o other_o side_n wish_a that_o we_o will_v give_v he_o the_o rearme_n of_o eight_o day_n wherein_o to_o answer_v he_o ask_v we_o also_o then_o whether_o we_o be_v resolve_v to_o do_v that_o very_a thing_n which_o he_o shall_v direct_v and_o i_o tell_v he_o we_o be_v but_o though_o i_o say_v thus_o much_o and_o i_o think_v i_o will_v have_v do_v as_o i_o say_v yet_o do_v i_o never_o loose_v assurance_n that_o the_o monastery_n in_o fine_a will_v be_v make_v my_o companion_n have_v yet_o a_o strong_a faith_n for_o whatsoever_o they_o may_v say_v to_o she_o she_o will_v never_o give-ove_a to_o execute_v the_o design_n but_o now_o though_o i_o hold_v it_o impossible_a but_o that_o the_o work_n will_v be_v do_v so_o assure_o do_v i_o believe_v that_o the_o revelation_n aforesaid_a be_v true_a provide_v always_o that_o it_o be_v find_v to_o contain_v nothing_o either_o against_o holy_a scripture_n or_o the_o decree_n of_o the_o church_n which_o we_o be_v bind_v to_o believe_v and_o observe_v yet_o howsoever_o as_o i_o say_v before_o i_o conceive_v that_o that_o revelation_n be_v real_o of_o almighty_a god_n if_o still_o that_o learned_a man_n have_v tell_v i_o that_o we_o can_v not_o effect_v the_o thing_n without_o offend_v his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o that_o we_o 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we_o have_v but_o little_a mean_n yet_o i_o believe_v that_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v take_v order_n that_o we_o shall_v be_v favour_v by_o other_o way_n the_o three_o and_o thirty_o chapter_n she_o proceed_v in_o the_o same_o subject_n of_o the_o foundation_n of_o the_o monastery_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n joseph_n she_o declare_v how_o she_o be_v command_v to_o attend_v to_o that_o business_n and_o of_o the_o time_n when_o she_o forbear_v to_o follow_v it_o and_o of_o some_o trouble_n which_o she_o have_v and_o how_o she_o be_v comfort_v in_o they_o by_o our_o bless_a lord_n this_o business_n be_v now_o in_o such_o case_n and_o so_o near_o the_o point_n of_o final_a dispatch_n that_o they_o be_v to_o draw-up_a the_o write_n the_o very_a next_o day_n follow_v it_o fall_v out_o to_o be_v just_a then_o when_o our_o provincial_n grow_v to_o change_v his_o latter_a opinion_n and_o return_v to_o his_o former_a and_o i_o believe_v he_o be_v move_v to_o it_o by_o divine_a ordination_n as_o we_o shall_v see_v afterward_o for_o our_o prayer_n have_v be_v so_o many_o as_o indeed_o they_o be_v it_o seem_v that_o our_o bless_a lord_n go_v perfect_v the_o work_n and_o appoint_v that_o it_o shall_v be_v dispatch_v though_o after_o a_o different_a manner_n from_o what_o we_o conceive_v but_o when_o once_o the_o say_v provincial_n have_v former_o refuse_v to_o admit_v of_o the_o house_n my_o ghostly_a father_n give_v i_o a_o commandment_n that_o i_o shall_v now_o think_v no_o more_o of_o that_o matter_n and_o yet_o our_o lord_n best_o know_v what_o trouble_v and_o affliction_n it_o have_v cost_v i_o before_o i_o can_v ever_o bring_v it_o to_o
desire_v for_o four_o or_o five_o year_n together_o before_o her_o end_n and_o then_o she_o die_v upon_o a_o sudden_a without_o be_v so_o much_o as_o visit_v and_o much_o less_o confess_v but_o the_o happiness_n be_v that_o according_a to_o the_o custom_n which_o she_o have_v hold_v there_o be_v little_o more_o than_o eight_o day_n expire_v after_o her_o last_o confession_n this_o make_v i_o a_o very_a glad_a woman_n when_o i_o know_v of_o her_o death_n and_o she_o stay_v a_o very_a short_a time_n in_o purgatory_n nor_o be_v it_o yet_o above_o eight_o day_n since_o our_o lord_n appear_v to_o i_o after_o i_o have_v receive_v the_o bless_a sacrament_n and_o be_v please_v to_o let_v i_o see_v how_o he_o carry_v my_o sister_n soul_n into_o glory_n in_o all_o these_o year_n from_o the_o time_n when_o the_o particular_a concern_v she_o be_v tell_v i_o till_o her_o very_a death_n i_o forget_v not_o that_o which_o have_v be_v give_v i_o to_o be_v understand_v concern_v she_o as_o neither_o also_o do_v my_o companion_n for_o as_o soon_o as_o she_o have_v hear_v of_o my_o sister_n death_n she_o come_v towards_o i_o with_o much_o admiration_n to_o see_v how_o all_o have_v be_v fulfil_v let_v our_o lord_n be_v praise_v for_o ever_o who_o vouchsafe_v to_o take_v such_o care_n of_o soul_n to_o the_o end_n that_o they_o may_v not_o perish_v amen_n the_o five_o and_o thirty_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o discourse_n about_o the_o foundation_n of_o this_o house_n of_o our_o glorious_a father_n s._n joseph_n she_o speak_v of_o the_o degree_n by_o which_o our_o lord_n come_v to_o appoint_v that_o holy_a poverty_n shall_v be_v ordain_v there_o and_o of_o the_o cause_n why_o she_o come_v from_o that_o lady_n with_o who_o she_o be_v and_o of_o other_o thing_n also_o which_o succeed_v but_o now_o whilst_o i_o be_v with_o that_o lady_n of_o who_o i_o have_v speak_v and_o with_o who_o i_o have_v remain_v more_o than_o half_a a_o year_n our_o lord_n do_v so_o ordain_v that_o 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that_o i_o be_v in_o confusion_n even_o to_o appear_v in_o her_o presence_n she_o show_v i_o the_o dispatch_n which_o she_o bring_v from_o rome_n and_o in_o those_o fifteen_o day_n which_o she_o stay_v with_o i_o we_o take_v order_n how_o we_o will_v make_v these_o monastery_n and_o till_o i_o have_v speak_v with_o she_o it_o never_o have_v come_v to_o my_o knowledge_n that_o our_o rule_n till_o it_o be_v relax_v do_v ever_o command_v that_o none_o of_o the_o religious_a house_n of_o our_o order_n shall_v have_v any_o propriety_n in_o any_o good_n nor_o have_v myself_o have_v any_o purpose_n to_o find_v any_o monastery_n at_o all_o without_o revenue_n for_o my_o intention_n be_v that_o we_o shall_v be_v free_a from_o the_o care_n of_o procure_v any_o such_o thing_n as_o we_o may_v be_v in_o necessity_n to_o use_v but_o this_o bless_a woman_n have_v be_v instruct_v by_o our_o lord_n be_v grow_v to_o understand_v that_o truth_n very_o well_o without_o be_v able_a so_o much_o as_o to_o read_v of_o which_o truth_n i_o be_v ignorant_a even_o after_o have_v take_v so_o much_o pain_n to_o read_v over_o the_o constitution_n of_o our_o order_n and_o as_o soon_o as_o she_o acquaint_v i_o with_o her_o purpose_n i_o like_v it_o well_o though_o yet_o i_o be_v afraid_a that_o it_o will_v not_o be_v yield_v to_o but_o that_o they_o will_v say_v perhaps_o that_o these_o be_v but_o impertinency_n and_o wish_v that_o i_o will_v not_o do_v any_o thing_n whereby_o other_o may_v be_v put_v to_o suffer_v through_o my_o fault_n though_o yet_o in_o very_a deed_n if_o i_o have_v be_v alone_o i_o will_v not_o have_v be_v detain_v one_o minute_n from_o do_v it_o since_o it_o will_v be_v a_o regalo_n to_o my_o soul_n to_o observe_v &_o follow_v the_o counsel_n of_o jesus-christ_n our_o lord_n for_o real_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v already_o give_v i_o great_a desire_n to_o observe_v poverty_n so_o that_o for_o my_o part_n i_o make_v no_o doubt_n but_o that_o this_o be_v best_a yea_o and_o i_o have_v long_o desire_v that_o it_o may_v be_v possible_a and_o compatible_a with_o my_o state_n that_o i_o may_v go_v beg_v my_o bread_n for_o the_o love_n of_o god_n without_o have_v so_o much_o as_o a_o house_n or_o any_o thing_n else_o but_o only_o i_o be_v in_o fear_n that_o if_o our_o bless_a lord_n shall_v not_o give_v the_o selfsame_a desire_n to_o other_o which_o he_o give_v to_o i_o they_o will_v live_v perhaps_o with_o disgust_n and_o consequent_o that_o it_o may_v prove_v a_o cause_n of_o some_o distraction_n or_o division_n for_o i_o see_v that_o there_o be_v some_o poor_a monastery_n which_o live_v not_o with_o much_o recollection_n and_o i_o consider_v not_o that_o their_o not_o be_v recollect_v be_v the_o cause_n of_o their_o be_v so_o poor_a and_o not_o their_o poverty_n the_o cause_n of_o their_o want_n of_o recollection_n for_o distraction_n make_v they_o not_o more_o rich_a nor_o be_v ever_o almighty_a god_n want_v to_o such_o as_o serve_v he_o in_o fine_a my_o faith_n be_v weak_a which_o that_o of_o this_o servant_n of_o god_n be_v not_o but_o now_o i_o who_o will_v be_v take_v the_o opinion_n of_o so_o many_o person_n for_o every_o thing_n which_o i_o be_v to_o do_v can_v find_v no_o body_n of_o this_o mind_n no_o nor_o even_o my_o ghostly_a father_n himself_o nor_o yet_o those_o other_o learned_a man_n who_o i_o consult_v in_o the_o case_n but_o they_o bring_v i_o so_o many_o reason_n against_o it_o that_o i_o know_v not_o which_o way_n to_o turn_v myself_o for_o i_o for_o my_o part_n who_o know_v already_o that_o it_o be_v the_o rule_n of_o the_o order_n and_o know_v also_o that_o it_o be_v a_o point_n of_o more_o perfection_n can_v not_o persuade_v myself_o to_o have_v revenue_n and_o though_o sometime_o they_o convince_v i_o towards_o their_o opinion_n yet_o still_o when_o i_o return_v to_o prayer_n and_o consider_v christ_n our_o lord_n so_o very_o poor_a and_o naked_a upon_o the_o cross_n i_o be_v not_o able_a so_o much_o as_o to_o find_v patience_n for_o be_v rich_a but_o i_o humble_o beseech_v he_o with_o tear_n to_o ordain_v thing_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o i_o may_v be_v poor_a like_v he_o and_o i_o find_v so_o many_o inconvenience_n even_o in_o have_v revenue_n and_o find_v it_o to_o be_v so_o great_a a_o cause_n of_o disquiet_n yea_o and_o even_o of_o distraction_n also_o that_o i_o do_v nothing_o but_o dispute_v the_o business_n with_o those_o learned_a man_n i_o write_v also_o about_o it_o to_o that_o religious_a man_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n who_o assist_v we_o and_o he_o send_v i_o two_o sheet_n of_o paper_n which_o he_o have_v write_v by_o way_n of_o contradiction_n to_o i_o and_o he_o ground_v himself_o in_o theology_n for_o the_o persuade_v i_o not_o to_o do_v it_o yea_o and_o he_o tell_v i_o that_o he_o have_v study_v the_o point_n very_o well_o to_o which_o i_o answer_v he_o that_o for_o not_o follow_v my_o vocation_n and_o for_o not_o perform_v the_o vow_n which_o i_o have_v make_v of_o poverty_n and_o embrace_v the_o counsel_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n in_o all_o perfection_n i_o mean_v not_o to_o make_v use_n of_o his_o theology_n nor_o of_o his_o learning_n and_o therefore_o that_o in_o this_o case_n he_o may_v be_v please_v to_o excuse_v i_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v very_o glad_a when_o i_o find_v any_o creature_n who_o will_v help_v i_o and_o the_o lady_n with_o who_o i_o be_v assist_v i_o particular_o herein_o there_o be_v other_o also_o who_o tell_v i_o instant_o at_o the_o first_o that_o they_o like_v it_o well_o but_o afterward_o when_o they_o consider_v it_o better_o they_o
for_o i_o confess_v i_o understand_v not_o this_o kind_n of_o language_n but_o because_o i_o have_v be_v think_v that_o our_o saint_n have_v ancient_o affirm_v and_o teach_v that_o a_o monastery_n shall_v be_v a_o kind_n of_o court_n to_o instruct_v such_o person_n as_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o make_v themselves_o courtier_n in_o the_o kingdom_n of_o heaven_n but_o now_o thing_n be_v understand_v in_o the_o direct_a contrary_a way_n because_o they_o who_o shall_v be_v continual_o employ_v in_o please_v almighty_a god_n and_o in_o procure_v to_o abhor_v the_o world_n must_v now_o forsooth_o be_v oblige_v to_o all_o attention_n and_o care_n in_o stead_n of_o please_a god_n to_o please_v such_o as_o live_v in_o the_o world_n yea_o and_o that_o in_o certain_a thing_n which_o be_v every_o day_n so_o subject_a to_o change_v that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o our_o performance_n can_v pass_v un-reproved_a yea_o though_o it_o be_v possible_a that_o all_o may_v be_v learn_v in_o one_o lesson_n without_o any_o loss_n at_o all_o of_o more_o time_n yea_o and_o even_o for_o the_o title_n which_o be_v expect_v upon_o the_o superscription_n of_o letter_n it_o be_v now_o it_o seem_v not_o to_o be_v unfit_a that_o there_o be_v some_o doctours-chaire_n erect_v as_o one_o may_v say_v where_o they_o may_v instruct_v and_o teach_v how_o such_o and_o such_o title_n be_v to_o be_v use_v for_o sometime_o man_n leave_v the_o paper_n empty_a on_o one_o side_n of_o the_o page_n of_o the_o letter_n and_o sometime_o on_o the_o other_o and_o now_o he_o who_o be_v not_o wont_a to_o be_v worshipful_a must_v be_v call_v honourable_a and_o i_o know_v not_o in_o fine_a where_o thing_n will_v rest_v for_o i_o be_o not_o yet_o fifty_o year_n old_a and_o yet_o i_o have_v see_v such_o change_n in_o my_o time_n that_o i_o can_v tell_v now_o how_o to_o live_v but_o then_o how_o will_v they_o who_o be_v now_o bear_v know_v how_o to_o carry_v themselves_o if_o they_o chance_v to_o live_v long_o i_o have_v 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who_o sustain_v and_o hold-up_a these_o toy_n with_o so_o much_o trouble_n to_o themselves_o and_o i_o pray_v god_n that_o we_o may_v not_o pay_v dear_o for_o they_o in_o the_o other_o world_n where_o there_o be_v no_o change_n to_o be_v find_v amen_o the_o eight_o and_o thirty_o chapter_n wherein_o she_o treat_v of_o some_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v she_o as_o well_o in_o acquaint_v she_o with_o certain_a secret_n of_o heaven_n as_o by_o give_v she_o other_o great_a vision_n and_o revelation_n she_o declare_v also_o the_o effect_n which_o they_o leave_v in_o her_o soul_n and_o the_o great_a benefit_n which_o she_o obtain_v by_o they_o be_v so_o very_o ill_o at_o ease_n one_o night_n that_o i_o think_v fit_a to_o excuse_v myself_o from_o prayer_n i_o take_v a_o pair_n of_o bead_n or_o rosarie_n into_o my_o hand_n to_o employ_v myself_o vocal_o by_o that_o mean_n and_o i_o procure_v not_o to_o recollect_v my_o understanding_n in_o any_o very_a serious_a manner_n though_o yet_o forasmuch_o as_o concern_v my_o exterior_a i_o be_v sufficient_o recollect_v and_o in_o my_o oratory_n but_o when_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o any_o thing_n these_o diligence_n of_o we_o to_o the_o contrary_a be_v not_o wont_a to_o serve_v to_o any_o great_a purpose_n for_o i_o remain_v a_o while_n after_o this_o manner_n there_o come_v a_o rapt_v of_o spirit_n upon_o i_o with_o such_o a_o excessive_a impulse_n or_o impetuositie_n that_o there_o be_v no_o power_n in_o i_o to_o resist_v it_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o be_v carry_v up_o and_o place_v in_o heaven_n yea_o and_o the_o first_o person_n who_o i_o see_v there_o be_v my_o father_n and_o my_o mother_n and_o i_o also_o see_v some_o thing_n beside_o so_o very_o great_a and_o all_o in_o so_o very_o short_a a_o space_n of_o time_n as_o wherein_o a_o aue_fw-la maria_n may_v be_v say_v that_o i_o be_v amaze_v as_o conceave_a that_o it_o be_v too_o very_o great_a a_o favour_n for_o i_o in_o this_o circumstance_n of_o the_o time_n have_v be_v so_o short_a i_o may_v perhaps_o be_v deceive_v for_o it_o may_v have_v be_v a_o little_a long_o but_o at_o least_o it_o run_v speedy_o away_o and_o seem_v short_a enough_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v in_o some_o fear_n of_o a_o illusion_n but_o yet_o suppose_v that_o it_o shall_v prove_v none_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o a_o extreme_a deal_n of_o shame_n with_o consider_v how_o i_o can_v ever_o be_v able_a to_o declare_v any_o such_o thing_n as_o that_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n not_o yet_o in_o my_o opinion_n that_o i_o be_v to_o receive_v trouble_n by_o it_o in_o respect_n of_o any_o such_o thing_n as_o humility_n in_o i_o but_o because_o i_o think_v it_o likely_a enough_o that_o he_o will_v make_v some_o jest_n at_o it_o and_o say_v lord_n what_o a_o kind_n of_o s._n paul_n or_o s._n jerome_n be_v this_o woman_n grow_v that_o she_o forsooth_o must_v see_v thing_n of_o heaven_n yea_o and_o beside_o in_o regard_n that_o these_o glorious_a saint_n have_v participate_v and_o be_v admit_v to_o such_o thing_n as_o these_o i_o grow_v to_o be_v in_o so_o much_o the_o more_o fear_n of_o myself_o and_o real_o i_o do_v nothing_o but_o weep_v bitter_o in_o regard_n that_o in_o my_o opinion_n there_o be_v no_o appearance_n of_o reason_n at_o all_o that_o these_o thing_n be_v to_o pass_v after_o this_o manner_n but_o yet_o howsoever_o in_o fine_a i_o resolve_v that_o i_o will_v go_v to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n notwithstanding_o all_o the_o aversion_n which_o i_o have_v and_o that_o i_o will_v acquaint_v he_o with_o all_o thing_n for_o i_o never_o dare_v conceal_v any_o thing_n from_o he_o through_o the_o very_a great_a fear_n wherein_o i_o be_v of_o be_v abuse_v and_o deceive_v yet_o when_o he_o find_v i_o to_o be_v so_o great_o afflict_v he_o do_v procure_v to_o comfort_v i_o much_o and_o tell_v i_o of_o many_o good_a thing_n to_o free_v i_o from_o the_o pain_n wherein_o i_o be_v but_o afterward_o that_o which_o follow_v happen_v to_o i_o and_o the_o same_o occurr_n to_o i_o often_o for_o our_o lord_n go_v show_v i_o yet_o great_a secret_n i_o say_v he_o go_v show_v they_o to_o i_o for_o that_o a_o soul_n shall_v ever_o be_v able_a to_o see_v any_o one_o iott_n more_o then_o be_v represent_v to_o she_o by_o our_o lord_n be_v absolute_o a_o impossible_a thing_n and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o never_o see_v more_o then_o mere_o what_o he_o be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o at_o every_o several_a time_n but_o that_o be_v so_o very_a much_o that_o the_o least_o part_n thereof_o suffice_v to_o make_v i_o remain_v all_o amaze_v and_o my_o soul_n to_o be_v very_o much_o improve_v towards_o the_o undervalue_v and_o disesteem_n of_o whatsoever_o thing_n may_v be_v in_o this_o world_n i_o will_v be_v extreme_o glad_a if_o i_o can_v tell_v how_o to_o give_v some_o little_a part_n of_o the_o least_o of_o that_o which_o i_o know_v to_o be_v understand_v but_o i_o find_v that_o it_o be_v whole_o impossible_a for_o though_o this_o light_n which_o we_o see_v here_o and_o that_o light_n which_o be_v represent_v there_o be_v all_o of_o it_o light_n yet_o still_o there_o be_v so_o great_a a_o difference_n withal_o as_o that_o there_o be_v no_o manner_n of_o comparison_n for_o the_o claritie_n and_o brightness_n even_o of_o the_o very_a sun_n itself_o be_v a_o thing_n of_o mean_a and_o poor_a appearance_n in_o respect_n of_o this_o in_o fine_a the_o very_a imagination_n of_o man_n how_o subtle_a and_o refine_v soever_o it_o may_v be_v be_v yet_o unable_a to_o reach_v to_o the_o describe_v any_o thing_n of_o
this_o light_n nor_o yet_o of_o any_o other_o thing_n at_o all_o which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o to_o understand_v and_o that_o with_o such_o a_o sovereign_a kind_n of_o delight_n as_o can_v possible_o be_v declare_v for_o all_o our_o sense_n enjoy_v such_o a_o superior_a degree_n of_o sweetness_n that_o it_o can_v no_o way_n be_v full_o express_v and_o therefore_o i_o think_v it_o will_v be_v best_a to_o say_v no_o more_o i_o have_v once_o be_v above_o a_o hour_n in_o this_o condition_n when_o our_o lord_n show_v i_o admirable_a thing_n and_o seem_v not_o to_o depart_v from_o be_v near_o i_o he_o speak_v these_o very_a word_n to_o i_o see_v here_o my_o daughter_n what_o they_o lose_v who_o be_v against_o i_o &_o do_v not_o thou_o forbear_v to_o let_v they_o know_v it_o but_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n what_o good_a will_v my_o say_n it_o do_v to_o they_o who_o their_o own_o action_n blind_a so_o deep_o if_o thy_o divine_a majesty_n do_v not_o give_v they_o light_v some_o there_o be_v to_o who_o thou_o have_v give_v it_o and_o they_o have_v profit_v much_o by_o know_v those_o greatness_n of_o thou_o but_o yet_o o_o my_o lord_n they_o see_v in_o such_o sort_n withal_o that_o they_o be_v show_v to_o such_o a_o wretched_a and_o miserable_a thing_n as_o myself_o that_o i_o can_v but_o esteem_v it_o a_o strange_a thing_n to_o find_v that_o any_o creature_n shall_v believe_v i_o bless_a be_v thy_o name_n and_o thy_o mercy_n for_o at_o least_o i_o have_v plain_o see_v a_o evident_a amendment_n in_o my_o own_o soul_n and_o i_o will_v be_v glad_a if_o i_o may_v still_o remain_v there_o and_o not_o come_v back_o to_o live_v here_o any_o more_o for_o the_o contempt_n wherein_o i_o hold_v this_o whole_a world_n be_v very_o great_a and_o it_o seem_v to_o be_v no_o better_o than_o even_o dung_n to_o i_o and_o now_o i_o find_v how_o base_o we_o be_v employ_v who_o be_v detain_v therein_o whilst_o i_o remain_v with_o that_o lady_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v before_o it_o happen_v to_o i_o once_o when_o i_o be_v ill_a and_o even_o sick_a at_o the_o hart_n for_o i_o have_v former_o be_v subject_n to_o this_o misery_n though_o nothing_o so_o much_o of_o late_a she_o consider_v i_o with_o much_o charity_n and_o compassion_n command_v that_o one_o day_n certain_a jewel_n of_o she_o shall_v be_v bring_v forth_o which_o she_o have_v of_o very_o great_a value_n and_o one_o in_o particular_a of_o diamond_n which_o be_v prize_v at_o a_o very_a high_a rate_n now_o she_o conceive_v belike_o that_o this_o will_v recreate_v and_o revive_v i_o but_o i_o smile_v inward_o at_o she_o the_o while_n and_o have_v compassion_n to_o see_v how_o mean_a thing_n man_n esteem_v when_o i_o consider_v what_o our_o lord_n have_v layd-up_a for_o we_o and_o i_o think_v how_o impossible_a a_o thing_n it_o will_v be_v for_o i_o to_o put_v any_o manner_n of_o value_n upon_o such_o toy_n as_o those_o even_o though_o i_o shall_v endeavour_v it_o unless_o our_o lord_n shall_v first_o deprive_v i_o of_o the_o memory_n of_o those_o other_o treasure_n but_o now_o this_o kind_n of_o favour_n give_v so_o great_a a_o dominion_n to_o the_o soul_n that_o i_o know_v not_o whether_o it_o can_v possible_o be_v understand_v but_o only_o by_o such_o person_n as_o possess_v it_o for_o it_o be_v the_o proper_a true_a and_o natural_a discharge_n and_o unty_v of_o the_o soul_n from_o all_o thing_n create_v and_o this_o grow_v absolute_o without_o any_o labour_n of_o our_o own_o and_o almighty_a god_n do_v it_o all_o and_o then_o his_o divine_a majesty_n show_v these_o truth_n and_o that_o so_o as_o to_o make_v they_o remain_v imprint_v and_o engrave_v in_o the_o soul_n and_o they_o serve_v also_o to_o make_v we_o see_v clear_o that_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a for_o we_o to_o acquire_v they_o especial_o in_o so_o short_a a_o time_n by_o any_o diligence_n of_o our_o own_o upon_o this_o i_o also_o come_v to_o have_v very_o little_a fear_n of_o death_n which_o former_o have_v be_v great_a in_o i_o but_o now_o it_o be_v grow_v to_o seem_v to_o be_v a_o thing_n of_o very_a much_o facility_n and_o ease_n for_o such_o as_o apply_v themselves_o to_o the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n for_o by_o death_n the_o soul_n fly_v out_o of_o prison_n in_o one_o moment_n and_o be_v not_o only_o put_v present_o into_o liberty_n but_o enjoy_v a_o everlasting_a rest_n and_o glory_n now_o this_o way_n which_o be_v hold_v by_o almighty_a god_n in_o carry_v the_o spirit_n up_o to_o show_v she_o so_o excellent_a thing_n in_o these_o rapt_n seem_v to_o bear_v a_o very_a close_a kind_n of_o conformity_n with_o the_o passage_n of_o a_o soul_n out_o of_o a_o body_n at_o the_o hour_n of_o death_n since_o it_o grow_v even_o at_o one_o instant_a to_o be_v so_o entire_o inpossession_n of_o this_o eternal_a good_n but_o here_o i_o lay_v aside_o the_o consideration_n of_o those_o sorrow_n and_o pain_n which_o be_v feel_v when_o the_o soul_n be_v tear_v out_o of_o the_o body_n for_o we_o be_v to_o make_v little_a account_n of_o that_o and_o they_o also_o who_o love_n god_n in_o good_a earnest_n and_o have_v shake_v hand_n with_o all_o the_o contentment_n of_o this_o life_n be_v certain_o wont_a to_o die_v with_o more_o sweetness_n it_o also_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o these_o favour_n do_v i_o very_o much_o good_a towards_o the_o bring_v i_o into_o a_o knowledge_n of_o our_o true_a country_n and_o to_o see_v that_o we_o be_v mere_a pilgrim_n here_o and_o it_o be_v a_o precious_a kind_n of_o thing_n to_o find_v what_o pass_v there_o above_o and_o to_o understand_v where_o in_o fine_a we_o be_v to_o live_v for_o ever_o and_o whensoever_o one_o go_v to_o settle_v and_o stay_v for_o good_a and_o all_o in_o any_o country_n it_o give_v a_o great_a assistance_n towards_o the_o endure_a all_o the_o incommodity_n of_o the_o journey_n when_o we_o know_v that_o the_o end_n of_o it_o be_v to_o be_v such_o as_o that_o we_o may_v in_o fine_a be_v in_o great_a repose_n and_o happiness_n when_o we_o get_v thither_o it_o be_v also_o here_o obtain_v that_o with_o case_n we_o may_v grow_v able_a to_o consider_v heavenly_a thing_n that_o so_o our_o conversation_n may_v be_v there_o and_o this_o be_v a_o great_a kind_n of_o gain_n since_o the_o only_o think_v of_o heaven_n recollect_n the_o soul_n in_o regard_n that_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v we_o somewhat_o which_o pass_v there_o we_o be_v induce_v to_o pause_v and_o think_v upon_o it_o and_o sometime_o it_o so_o fall_v out_o that_o they_o who_o i_o know_v to_o live_v there_o be_v the_o soul_n who_o accompany_v i_o and_o in_o who_o i_o receive_v most_o comfort_n and_o these_o indeed_o be_v they_o who_o seem_v to_o be_v true_o alive_a and_o those_o other_o on_o the_o other_o side_n who_o live_v here_o seem_v to_o be_v so_o very_o deadly_a dead_a as_o that_o this_o whole_a world_n put_v together_o can_v amount_v to_o be_v any_o company_n at_o all_o for_o i_o and_o especial_o when_o i_o find_v any_o of_o these_o impulse_n or_o impetuosity_n in_o myself_o the_o whole_a world_n seem_v to_o be_v but_o a_o very_a dream_n and_o all_o the_o object_n of_o these_o corporeal_a eye_n of_o i_o a_o mere_a jest_n and_o toy_n but_o that_o which_o already_o i_o have_v see_v with_o the_o eye_n of_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o say_v be_v the_o thing_n which_o she_o desire_v and_o because_o she_o find_v herself_o to_o be_v yet_o far_o off_o from_o thence_o this_o be_v that_o which_o be_v no_o less_o than_o even_o death_n itself_o to_o my_o soul_n in_o fine_a the_o favour_n be_v excessive_o great_a which_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o that_o soul_n to_o who_o he_o give_v such_o vision_n as_o these_o for_o they_o help_v she_o much_o in_o all_o thing_n and_o particular_o to_o the_o carry_v of_o a_o certain_a heavy_a cross_n which_o lie_v upon_o she_o for_o nothing_o can_v satisfy_v she_o now_o but_o every_o thing_n disgust_n and_o check_v she_o and_o if_o our_o bless_a lord_n do_v not_o give_v way_n that_o we_o may_v forget_v it_o sometime_o though_o yet_o we_o remember_v it_o again_o afterward_o i_o know_v not_o how_o we_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o live_v let_v he_o be_v bless_v and_o praise_v for_o all_o eternity_n and_o i_o humble_o beg_v of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n even_o by_o that_o very_a precious_a blood_n which_o his_o own_o son_n shed_v for_o i_o that_o since_o he_o have_v vouchsafe_v that_o i_o shall_v understand_v somewhat_o of_o these_o benefit_n and_o blessing_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v begin_v to_o enjoy_v they_o also_o in_o some_o kind_n even_o in_o this_o life_n it_o
may_v not_o happen_v to_o i_o as_o it_o do_v to_o lucifer_n who_o lose_v all_o by_o his_o own_o fault_n do_v not_o permit_v this_o o_o my_o lord_n i_o humble_o pray_v thou_o even_o by_o all_o that_o which_o thou_o be_v for_o it_o be_v no_o small_a fear_n which_o i_o have_v sometime_o though_o yet_o at_o other_o time_n yea_o and_o usual_o the_o mercy_n of_o almighty_a god_n give_v i_o a_o very_a confident_a hope_n that_o since_o he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o draw_v i_o out_o of_o so_o many_o sin_n he_o will_v not_o forsake_v i_o so_o now_o as_o to_o let_v i_o be_v lose_v and_o this_o do_v i_o humble_o pray_v your_o reverence_n that_o you_o will_v ever_o desire_v in_o my_o behalf_n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o think_v that_o those_o precedent_a favour_n be_v not_o so_o very_o great_a as_o this_o which_o i_o will_v now_o apply_v myself_o to_o relate_v and_o that_o for_o many_o reason_n &_o many_o blessing_n also_o and_o in_o particular_a for_o that_o great_a courage_n &_o strength_n which_o have_v still_o remain_v in_o i_o upon_o that_o account_n and_o therefore_o if_o those_o former_a may_v be_v consider_v every_o one_o by_o itself_o this_o other_o which_o i_o be_o go_v to_o relate_v will_v be_v find_v to_o be_v so_o very_o great_a as_o that_o there_o will_v be_v no_o comparison_n at_o all_o between_o they_o i_o be_v one_o day_n and_o the_o same_o fall_v out_o to_o be_v upon_o the_o vigil_n of_o pentecost_n or_o whitsuntide_n after_o mass_n and_o i_o go_v to_o a_o more_o remote_a place_n where_o i_o often_o use_v to_o pray_v and_o i_o begin_v to_o read_v in_o a_o certain_a book_n of_o this_o feast_n which_o have_v be_v write_v by_o a_o carthusian_n and_o meet_v there_o with_o those_o sign_n which_o both_o beginner_n and_o proficient_n and_o perfect_a soul_n use_v to_o have_v and_o how_o they_o may_v come_v to_o understand_v whether_o the_o holie-ghost_n do_v inhabit_v their_o heart_n or_o no_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o have_v read_v these_o three_o state_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o almighty_a god_n through_o his_o goodness_n do_v not_o leave_v or_o fail_v to_o be_v present_a with_o i_o after_o a_o particular_a manner_n for_o as_o much_o as_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o understand_v and_o whilst_o i_o be_v praise_v his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o that_o blessing_n i_o remember_v that_o i_o have_v read_v the_o same_o thing_n former_o when_o i_o want_v very_o much_o of_o that_o condition_n of_o mind_n and_o then_o i_o see_v that_o i_o want_v it_o as_o plain_o as_o now_o i_o understand_v the_o direct_a contrary_n concern_v myself_o but_o thus_o i_o come_v to_o know_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v do_v i_o and_o from_o thence_o i_o grow_v also_o to_o consider_v the_o place_n which_o my_o soul_n have_v deserve_v in_o hell_n for_o my_o sin_n and_o i_o give_v great_a praise_n to_o almighty_a god_n in_o regard_n that_o now_o i_o think_v my_o soul_n be_v so_o extreme_o change_v that_o i_o can_v hardly_o almost_o conceive_v it_o to_o be_v the_o very_a selfsame_a thing_n which_o it_o have_v be_v before_o be_v then_o in_o this_o consideration_n there_o come_v a_o great_a impulse_n or_o impetuositie_n upon_o i_o without_o my_o be_v able_a to_o understand_v the_o occasion_n thereof_o i_o think_v my_o very_a soul_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o get_v instant_o out_o of_o my_o body_n for_o now_o she_o can_v not_o possible_o contain_v herself_o any_o long_o nor_o find_v she_o herself_o at_o that_o time_n to_o be_v able_a to_o stay_v any_o long_o here_o in_o the_o painful_a expectation_n of_o so_o great_a a_o good_n now_o this_o be_v so_o excessive_a a_o impulse_n or_o impetuositie_n that_o i_o can_v not_o possible_o tell_v even_o what_o to_o do_v with_o myself_o nor_o so_o much_o as_o what_o i_o ail_v so_o extreme_o be_v i_o grow_v to_o be_v in_o disorder_n and_o though_o i_o be_v sit_v then_o yet_o be_v i_o not_o able_a even_o to_o sit_v and_o so_o i_o apply_v myself_o a_o little_a to_o lean_v for_o i_o find_v that_o all_o my_o natural_a force_n begin_v to_o fail_v i_o but_o perceave_v myself_o to_o be_v in_o this_o case_n i_o see_v a_o dove_n upon_o my_o own_o head_n but_o such_o a_o dove_n as_o be_v very_o different_a from_o they_o of_o this_o world_n for_o she_o have_v not_o of_o our_o kind_n of_o feather_n but_o the_o wing_n be_v as_o of_o certain_a little_a shell_n which_o dar_v a_o huge_a splendour_n from_o themselves_o this_o dove_n be_v much_o great_a than_o any_o ordinary_a dove_n and_o i_o thought_n i_o hear_v a_o noise_n which_o she_o make_v with_o her_o wing_n for_o she_o be_v flutter_v about_o the_o space_n of_o a_o aut_fw-la maria._n but_o my_o soul_n be_v already_o in_o such_o condition_n that_o grow_v to_o loose_v herself_o she_o also_o lose_v the_o sight_n of_o the_o dove_n my_o spirit_n do_v then_o begin_v to_o quiet_v itself_o upon_o the_o entertain_n of_o such_o a_o guest_n as_o she_o have_v get_v though_o yet_o for_o my_o part_n i_o imagine_v that_o so_o wondrous_a a_o encounter_n and_o accident_n as_o that_o be_v may_v well_o have_v disquiet_v and_o fright_v it_o but_o she_o begin_v already_o to_o enjoy_v lay_v quick_o all_o fear_n aside_o and_o together_o with_o the_o self_n same_o joy_n grow_v to_o have_v quietness_n withal_o but_o yet_o still_o remain_v in_o the_o rapt_v now_o the_o glory_n of_o this_o rapt_v be_v extreme_o great_a and_o i_o remain_v during_o the_o most_o part_n of_o the_o whole_a festivitie_n of_o pentecost_n so_o stun_v and_o even_o as_o it_o be_v besort_a and_o befool_v that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o dot_v with_o myself_o nor_o be_v i_o able_a by_o any_o mean_n to_o understand_v how_o so_o high_a and_o great_a a_o favour_n as_o this_o be_v can_v possible_o find_v a_o rest_a place_n in_o i_o i_o neither_o hear_v nor_o see_v in_o effect_n by_o reason_n of_o the_o great_a excess_n of_o my_o interior_a joy_n i_o understand_v how_o from_o that_o day_n forward_o my_o soul_n remain_v with_o a_o very_a great_a increase_n of_o improvement_n by_o enjoy_v a_o more_o sublime_a love_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o that_o my_o virtue_n also_o have_v gain_v a_o great_a increase_n of_o strength_n now_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v and_o praise_v for_o all_o eternity_n amen_n i_o see_v also_o at_o another_o time_n the_o same_o dove_n upon_o the_o head_n of_o a_o certain_a father_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n save_o that_o i_o think_v both_o the_o beam_n and_o the_o brightness_n of_o the_o very_a wing_n do_v spread_v and_o extend_v themselves_o much_o further_o and_o it_o be_v give_v i_o then_o to_o understand_v that_o he_o be_v to_o win_v soul_n to_o god_n another_o time_n i_o see_v our_o bless_a lady_n put_v a_o white_a long_a garment_n upon_o the_o back_n of_o a_o certain_a graduate_n of_o the_o same_o order_n of_o who_o i_o have_v speak_v former_o diverse_a time_n and_o she_o tell_v i_o that_o she_o have_v give_v he_o that_o mantle_n for_o have_v assist_v in_o the_o business_n of_o this_o house_n and_o that_o his_o soul_n shall_v be_v defend_v and_o preserve_v for_o the_o future_a in_o such_o purity_n as_o that_o he_o shall_v not_o fall_v into_o mortal_a sinne._n and_o i_o assure_v myself_o it_o prove_v so_o for_o he_o die_v within_o few_o year_n after_o yea_o and_o he_o do_v both_o line_n and_o die_v with_o so_o great_a per_n nance_n and_o sanctity_n that_o there_o can_v be_v no_o doubt_n thereof_o for_o any_o thing_n that_o we_o be_v able_a to_o understand_v and_o a_o certain_a religious_a man_n who_o have_v be_v at_o his_o death_n tell_v i_o that_o s._n thomas_n of_o aquin_n have_v be_v with_o he_o and_o that_o he_o die_v both_o with_o great_a joy_n and_o with_o desire_n also_o to_o be_v deliver_v from_o this_o bannishment_n wherein_o he_o be_v since_o that_o time_n he_o have_v appear_v to_o i_o in_o very_a much_o glory_n and_o tell_v i_o diverse_a thing_n he_o be_v a_o man_n of_o so_o great_a prayer_n that_o when_o a_o little_a before_o he_o die_v he_o will_v glad_o have_v forbear_v the_o exercise_n thereof_o through_o his_o great_a weakness_n he_o be_v not_o able_a to_o do_v it_o for_o even_o then_o he_o have_v many_o rapt_n he_o write_v to_o i_o a_o little_a before_o he_o die_v about_o what_o course_n i_o think_v he_o be_v best_a to_o take_v for_o help_v because_o ever_o as_o soon_o as_o he_o have_v do_v mass_n he_o use_v to_o fall_v into_o rapt_n which_o will_v last_v long_o without_o his_o be_v able_a to_o forbear_v they_o but_o our_o lord_n give_v he_o at_o length_n the_o reward_n of_o the_o great_a service_n he_o have_v do_v he_o during_o his_o whole_a life_n of_o
not_o overshadow_v and_o even_o hide_v thy_o greatness_n who_o will_v ever_o presume_v to_o approach_v so_o often_o as_o we_o do_v towards_o the_o join_n of_o such_o wretched_a and_o filthy_a thing_n as_o we_o be_v to_o so_o high_a a_o majesty_n as_o thou_o but_o bless_a be_v thou_o for_o ever_o my_o dear_a lord_n and_o let_v the_o angel_n vea_o and_o all_o creature_n praise_n and_o glorifye_v thy_o holy_a name_n who_o do_v so_o measure_v and_o weigh_v thing_n out_o together_o with_o our_o great_a weakness_n as_o that_o we_o may_v be_v able_a to_o enjoy_v those_o sovereign_a favour_n of_o thou_o without_o be_v fright_v by_o thy_o infinite_a power_n though_o yet_o we_o be_v so_o miserable_a and_o unworthy_a creature_n i_o think_v it_o may_v happen_v to_o we_o here_o as_o once_o it_o do_v to_o another_o and_o this_o i_o know_v to_o be_v true_a a_o certain_a labouring-man_n find_v a_o treasure_n and_o the_o same_o fall_v out_o to_o be_v great_a than_o can_v get_v room_n in_o his_o straight_a and_o narrow-hart_n he_o come_v to_o have_v this_o treasure_n in_o his_o power_n grow_v withal_o to_o have_v such_o a_o melancholy_n in_o his_o mind_n that_o he_o come_v by_o little_a and_o little_a to_o die_v by_o the_o very_a care_n and_o affliction_n of_o his_o thought_n for_o not_o know_v what_o he_o be_v best_a to_o do_v with_o his_o treasure_n whereas_o if_o he_o have_v not_o find_v it_o all_o together_o but_o that_o some_o one_o have_v give_v it_o he_o by_o little_a and_o little_a accommodate_v he_o and_o sustain_v he_o by_o degree_n the_o poor_a man_n will_v have_v live_v content_v and_o it_o will_v never_o have_v cost_v he_o his_o life_n o_o thou_o who_o be_v the_o riches_n of_o the_o poor_a and_o how_o admirable_o do_v thou_o know_v how_o to_o sustain_v soul_n and_o how_o careful_a be_v thou_o to_o show_v they_o treasure_n by_o little_a and_o little_a and_o that_o they_o may_v not_o see_v too_o much_o at_o once_o when_o i_o see_v so_o great_a a_o majesty_n as_o thou_o dissemble_v as_o it_o be_v and_o disguised_z in_o so_o small_a a_o thing_n as_o the_o sacred_a host_n it_o be_v true_a that_o in_o these_o latter_a time_n and_o since_o i_o have_v be_v partaker_n of_o these_o vision_n i_o be_o even_o in_o admiration_n at_o so_o great_a a_o wisdom_n nor_o do_v i_o know_v how_o our_o lord_n give_v i_o strength_n and_o courage_n to_o approach_v it_o but_o if_o he_o who_o have_v do_v i_o and_o do_v i_o still_o so_o great_a favour_n do_v not_o govern_v i_o also_o herein_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a that_o i_o can_v dissemble_v the_o matter_n any_o long_o but_o must_v cry_v out_o and_o that_o aloud_o at_o the_o sight_n of_o so_o great_a wonder_n as_o these_o and_o what_o now_o be_v it_o then_o that_o so_o miserable_a a_o creature_n and_o so_o load_v with_o abomination_n as_o i_o be_o and_o who_o have_v spend_v my_o whole_a life_n in_o so_o little_a fear_n of_o almighty_a god_n aught_o to_o find_v with_o all_o reason_n in_o herself_o to_o see_v that_o she_o approach_v so_o great_a a_o majesty_n even_o when_o he_o be_v please_v that_o my_o soul_n shall_v behold_v he_o with_o her_o very_a eye_n how_o shall_v this_o mouth_n of_o i_o which_o have_v utter_v so_o many_o word_n against_o the_o service_n of_o that_o very_a lord_n himself_o presume_v to_o touch_v that_o most_o glorious_a body_n of_o he_o so_o full_a of_o piety_n and_o purity_n since_o the_o love_n which_o that_o divine_a countenance_n of_o so_o much_o beauty_n suavitie_n and_o affability_n discover_v to_o we_o do_v more_o afflict_v and_o wound_v the_o soul_n then_o do_v even_o that_o fear_n and_o terror_n which_o be_v breed_v in_o we_o by_o the_o consideration_n of_o his_o high_a majesty_n but_o what_o then_o shall_v i_o feel_v in_o myself_o who_o have_v see_v all_o this_o whereof_o i_o speak_v two_o several_a time_n i_o be_o real_o about_o to_o say_v o_o thou_o my_o dear_a lord_n and_o the_o very_a glory_n of_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o have_v in_o some_o kind_n do_v thou_o service_n by_o the_o great_a affliction_n which_o my_o soul_n have_v feel_v in_o herself_o and_o yet_o alas_o alas_o i_o can_v hardly_o tell_v even_o what_o i_o say_v who_o be_o in_o effect_n write_v this_o without_o know_v almost_o what_o i_o do_v for_o i_o find_v that_o i_o be_o all_o trouble_a yea_o and_o half_a beside_o myself_o when_o i_o go_v back_o to_o bring_v these_o thing_n to_o my_o remembrance_n though_o i_o may_v seem_v to_o have_v some_o little_a reason_n for_o what_o i_o say_v and_o that_o i_o have_v do_v some_o little_a thing_n for_o thy_o service_n o_o my_o lord_n &_o my_o god_n but_o since_o i_o be_o not_o the_o owner_n of_o so_o much_o as_o one_o good_a thought_n if_o thou_o impart_v it_o not_o to_o i_o there_o be_v nothing_o for_o which_o i_o can_v pretend_v to_o be_v thank_v but_o i_o be_o still_o the_o debtor_n o_o my_o lord_n and_o still_o thou_o be_v the_o party_n offend_v go_v one_o day_n to_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n i_o see_v two_o divelis_n with_o the_o eye_n of_o my_o soul_n more_o clear_o then_o if_o i_o have_v see_v they_o with_o the_o eye_n of_o my_o body_n in_o a_o most_o abominable_a figure_n and_o i_o think_v their_o horn_n do_v encompass_v the_o very_a throat_n of_o a_o certain_a poor_a priest_n and_o i_o see_v also_o my_o lord_n with_o that_o great_a majesty_n whereof_o i_o have_v speak_v place_v in_o those_o hand_n of_o that_o priest_n which_o he_o be_v go_v to_o minister_v to_o i_o with_o the_o same_o sinful_a hand_n of_o he_o for_o i_o understand_v that_o soul_n to_o be_v then_o in_o the_o state_n of_o mortal_a sinne._n but_o now_o what_o kind_n of_o object_n must_v it_o be_v to_o see_v thy_o beauty_n o_o my_o lord_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o so_o abominable_a figure_n those_o devil_n be_v as_o all_o amaze_a and_o fright_v in_o thy_o presence_n and_o willing_o enough_o will_v have_v be_v go_v from_o thence_o if_o they_o can_v have_v get_v thy_o leave_n this_o give_v i_o such_o a_o excessive_a trouble_n that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o i_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o communicate_v through_o the_o great_a fear_n wherein_o i_o be_v as_o conceave_a that_o if_o it_o have_v be_v a_o true_a vision_n his_o divine_a majesty_n will_v never_o have_v permit_v that_o i_o shall_v discern_v the_o misery_n wherein_o that_o poor_a soul_n remain_v the_o same_o dear_a lord_n of_o i_o command_v i_o to_o pray_v for_o that_o soul_n and_o tell_v i_o that_o he_o have_v suffer_v what_o i_o have_v see_v to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v know_v of_o how_o great_a power_n and_o force_n the_o word_n of_o consecration_n be_v and_o that_o almighty_a god_n will_v not_o be_v keep_v from_o thence_o how_o wicked_a soever_o that_o priest_n shall_v be_v who_o pronounce_v they_o and_o to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v also_o discern_v his_o great_a goodness_n in_o not_o forbear_v to_o put_v himself_o into_o the_o hand_n even_o of_o his_o great_a enemy_n for_o the_o good_a both_o of_o i_o and_o of_o all_o man_n and_o i_o also_o understand_v thereby_o how_o much_o more_o priest_n be_v oblige_v to_o be_v virtuous_a and_o good_a than_o other_o man_n and_o how_o terrible_a a_o thing_n it_o be_v to_o take_v the_o b._n sacrament_n unworthy_o and_o how_o absolute_a a_o lord_n the_o devil_n be_v of_o any_o soul_n which_o be_v in_o mortal_a sinne._n in_o fine_a this_o passage_n do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o good_a and_o give_v i_o a_o most_o particular_a knowledge_n of_o the_o very_a great_a obligation_n wherein_o i_o be_v to_o almighty_a god_n and_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v and_o praise_v for_o all_o eternity_n amen_n another_o time_n i_o happen_v to_o see_v another_o thing_n which_o amaze_v i_o extreme_o i_o be_v in_o a_o certain_a place_n where_o a_o certain_a person_n die_v who_o have_v live_v very_o ill_a and_o that_o many_o year_n but_o during_o two_o of_o they_o he_o have_v be_v sick_a and_o in_o some_o thing_n he_o also_o seem_v to_o be_v reform_v this_o man_n die_v without_o confession_n but_o still_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o he_o be_v not_o to_o be_v damn_v though_o yet_o whilst_o man_n be_v shroud_a he_o and_o prepare_v he_o for_o burial_n i_o see_v many_o devil_n possess_v themselves_o of_o that_o body_n and_o they_o seem_v as_o it_o be_v to_o play_v with_o it_o and_o yet_o withal_o they_o use_v diverse_a cruelty_n upon_o it_o for_o they_o do_v with_o certain_a great_a hook_n both_o tear_n and_o toss_v it_o from_o one_o to_o another_o and_o this_o strike_v i_o into_o a_o very_a great_a fear_n when_o afterward_o i_o see_v he_o carry_v to_o be_v bury_v with_o all_o the_o ceremony_n and_o
time_n to_o understand_v thing_n but_o just_a so_o as_o we_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o understand_v they_o ourselves_o and_o even_o they_o be_v wrest_v much_o from_o the_o true_a sense_n and_o so_o we_o also_o do_v in_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n and_o we_o will_v needs_o make_v ourselves_o believe_v that_o we_o must_v tax_v even_o our_o own_o profit_n in_o spirit_n according_a to_o the_o measure_n of_o the_o time_n wherein_o we_o have_v have_v any_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n nay_o it_o seem_v that_o we_o have_v have_v a_o mind_n to_o put_v a_o tax_n and_o limit_n upon_o he_o who_o by_o no_o mean_n will_v be_v subject_a to_o any_o when_o there_o be_v question_n of_o impart_v his_o favour_n which_o he_o be_v wont_a to_o dispose_v when_o he_o will_v and_o who_o can_v impart_v more_o benediction_n to_o one_o in_o six_o month_n then_o to_o another_o in_o a_o great_a multitude_n of_o year_n and_o this_o be_v a_o most_o certain_a truth_n which_o i_o have_v see_v so_o express_o verify_v even_o 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on_o without_o so_o much_o as_o remember_v that_o they_o be_v to_o live_v by_o eat_v their_o meat_n and_o they_o shut_v themselves_o up_o for_o ever_o in_o a_o house_n without_o have_v so_o much_o as_o any_o revenue_n upon_o which_o to_o live_v like_o person_n who_o put_v no_o manner_n of_o esteem_n upon_o any_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n for_o the_o love_n of_o he_o who_o they_o know_v love_v they_o and_o they_o give_v over_o even_o all_o thing_n all_o at_o once_o nor_o have_v they_o any_o will_n at_o all_o which_o be_v mere_o their_o own_o nor_o do_v they_o understand_v it_o to_o be_v possible_a that_o ever_o they_o can_v receive_v disgust_n by_o endure_v such_o a_o straight_o shut_v up_o but_o all_o of_o they_o offer-up_a their_o whole_a self_n in_o sacrifice_n to_o the_o honour_n and_o glory_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o now_o how_o willing_o and_o just_o do_v i_o allow_v they_o to_o have_v get_v the_o start_n of_o i_o herein_o and_o how_o mighty_o ought_v i_o to_o be_v ashamed_a and_o even_o confound_v in_o the_o presence_n of_o almighty_a god_n to_o see_v that_o what_o his_o divine_a majesty_n can_v not_o finish_v in_o my_o soul_n through_o my_o fault_n in_o such_o a_o multitude_n of_o year_n since_o i_o use_v prayer_n and_o wherein_o he_o begin_v to_o do_v i_o favour_n he_o have_v yet_o be_v able_a to_o accomplish_v in_o they_o within_o three_o month_n yea_o and_o even_o with_o some_o of_o they_o in_o three_o day_n with_o do_v they_o also_o far_o less_o favour_n then_o to_o i_o though_o yet_o withal_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o our_o bless_a lord_n pay_v they_o so_o well_o for_o their_o pain_n that_o they_o be_v all_o very_o far_o from_o be_v sorry_a to_o have_v do_v whatsoever_o they_o have_v do_v for_o the_o love_n of_o he_o for_o this_o purpose_n i_o can_v wish_v that_o we_o may_v call_v to_o mind_n how_o many_o year_n they_o be_v since_o we_o make_v our_o profession_n and_o have_v use_v mental_a prayer_n not_o yet_o for_o the_o give_v they_o any_o trouble_n by_o make_v they_o turn_v back_o who_o have_v make_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o way_n in_o a_o short_a time_n and_o to_o get_v they_o to_o go_v but_o our_o pace_n which_o be_v as_o much_o as_o it_o will_v be_v to_o make_v they_o who_o fly_v like_o eagle_n through_o the_o favour_n which_o it_o have_v please_v almighty_a god_n to_o do_v they_o to_o walk_v the_o slow_a dull_a pace_n of_o a_o shackle_a hen_n but_o to_o the_o end_n that_o we_o may_v grow_v to_o carry_v the_o honour_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n in_o our_o eye_n and_o then_o if_o we_o find_v these_o sister_n of_o we_o to_o be_v humble_a who_o we_o see_v to_o be_v so_o forward_o in_o the_o way_n of_o spirit_n that_o we_o shall_v give_v they_o still_o the_o reins_n for_o certain_o our_o bless_a lord_n who_o have_v do_v they_o so_o great_a favour_n already_o will_v never_o suffer_v they_o to_o break_v their_o neck_n by_o fall_v down_o as_o from_o some_o dangerous_a rock_n they_o commit_v and_o trust_v themselves_o in_o the_o hand_n of_o almighty_a god_n for_o this_o benefit_n do_v they_o reap_v by_o the_o truth_n which_o faith_n teach_v they_o and_o shall_v not_o we_o also_o trust_v they_o there_o but_o document_n must_v we_o limit_v and_o confine_v they_o by_o our_o narrow_a measure_n according_a to_o the_o meanness_n &_o straightness_n of_o our_o own_o poor_a mind_n no_o no_o this_o must_v not_o be_v but_o rather_o if_o ourselves_o can_v arrive_v to_o be_v owner_n of_o those_o strong_a affection_n and_o firm_a resolution_n which_o abound_v in_o they_o for_o these_o thing_n can_v be_v well_o understand_v without_o experience_n let_v we_o procure_v to_o humble_v ourselves_o and_o not_o condemn_v they_o for_o else_o by_o seem_v to_o have_v a_o care_n of_o their_o advantage_n and_o profit_n we_o shall_v deprive_v ourselves_o of_o our_o own_o and_o we_o shall_v also_o loose_v the_o occasion_n which_o our_o lord_n show_v we_o so_o fair_a for_o our_o own_o great_a humility_n and_o that_o we_o may_v the_o better_o understand_v how_o much_o be_v want_v to_o we_o as_o also_o how_o much_o more_o absolute_o those_o other_o soul_n be_v likely_a to_o be_v untie_v and_o free_v from_o worldly_a thing_n than_o we_o and_o how_o much_o near_o they_o be_v approach_v to_o almighty_a god_n than_o we_o since_o we_o see_v that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v come_v so_o much_o close_o up_o towards_o they_o than_o us._n for_o my_o part_n i_o can_v understand_v no_o more_o in_o this_o case_n neither_o indeed_o have_v i_o any_o desire_n to_o understand_v more_o then_o that_o i_o have_v rather_o have_v such_o prayer_n as_o have_v be_v obtain_v and_o exercise_v but_o a_o short_a time_n may_v be_v find_v to_o have_v great_a effect_n and_o which_o instant_o appear_v for_o it_o be_v impossible_a that_o a_o creature_n shall_v be_v content_a to_o throw_v away_o a_o whole_a world_n at_o once_o upon_o the_o only_o reason_n of_o please_v almighty_a god_n without_o a_o mighty_a force_n of_o love_n than_o such_o a_o other_o kind_n of_o prayer_n as_o shall_v have_v continue_v many_o year_n and_o yet_o never_o in_o fine_a have_v make_v a_o end_n of_o resolve_v upon_o any_o more_o at_o the_o last_o then_o at_o the_o first_o to_o do_v aniething_fw-mi for_o the_o pure_a love_n of_o almighty_a god_n unless_o it_o be_v some_o poor_a little_a fiddle_v babble_n which_o be_v no_o big_a than_o a_o grain_n of_o salt_n which_o have_v neither_o bulk_n nor_o weight_n but_o be_v such_o as_o that_o any_o bird_n may_v be_v able_a to_o carry_v it_o away_o in_o her_o bill_n for_o i_o confess_v we_o hold_v it_o not_o for_o a_o matter_n
with_o a_o great_a cloud_n and_o so_o to_o become_v very_o dark_a and_o that_o so_o though_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v ever_o present_a with_o we_o yea_o so_o very_o present_a as_o that_o he_o give_v we_o our_o very_a be_v thereby_o yet_o then_o he_o be_v not_o so_o represent_v as_o to_o be_v see_v by_o we_o and_o that_o when_o the_o case_n concern_v heretic_n the_o lookingglass_n be_v direct_o break_v which_o be_v far_o worse_a then_o to_o be_v obscure_v but_o now_o there_o be_v a_o very_a great_a deal_n of_o difference_n between_o my_o see_v it_o and_o my_o relate_v it_o for_o it_o be_v no_o easy_a thing_n to_o give_v it_o well_o to_o be_v understand_v yet_o this_o have_v do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o good_a and_o have_v affect_v i_o with_o much_o pity_n and_o grief_n for_o those_o time_n wherein_o myself_o do_v obscure_v my_o soul_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o behold_v and_o see_v this_o bless_a lord_n of_o i_o it_o seem_v also_o to_o i_o that_o this_o kind_n of_o vision_n be_v very_o useful_a to_o person_n who_o be_v of_o much_o recollection_n to_o teach_v they_o a_o way_n of_o think_v of_o our_o bless_a lord_n as_o in_o the_o most_o interior_a part_n of_o their_o soul_n which_o be_v a_o consideration_n that_o will_v stick_v close_a to_o then_o and_o will_v be_v of_o much_o more_o benefit_n then_o if_o they_o be_v consider_v as_o any_o way_n our_o of_o the_o soul_n according_a to_o what_o i_o have_v say_v else_o where_o and_o it_o be_v contain_v also_o in_o some_o book_n which_o be_v write_v of_o prayer_n about_o the_o way_n how_o we_o be_v to_o seek_v almighty_a god_n in_o particular_a the_o glorious_a s._n augustin_n speak_v much_o of_o how_o almighty_a god_n be_v not_o to_o be_v seek_v either_o in_o pleasure_n or_o external_a place_n and_o that_o he_o can_v be_v no_o way_n find_v so_o well_o as_o in_o ourselves_o and_o this_o be_v certain_o the_o best_a way_n nor_o have_v we_o need_v to_o go_v further_o off_o then_o to_o 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happen_v sometime_o and_o especial_o with_o beginner_n and_o i_o have_v be_v think_v whether_o it_o may_v not_o proceed_v from_o this_o that_o our_o condition_n be_v natural_o very_o weak_a and_o not_o able_a to_o admit_v and_o endure_v so_o great_a a_o strength_n of_o spirit_n and_o that_o the_o imagination_n be_v weaken_v also_o much_o and_o i_o know_v that_o this_o happen_v to_o some_o now_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o apt_a to_o think_v that_o it_o be_v not_o ill_o to_o oblige_v they_o in_o such_o case_n as_o this_o to_o leave-off_a their_o prayer_n for_o that_o time_n and_o to_o go_v recover_v that_o afterward_o which_o they_o lose_v then_o that_o so_o all_o come_v not_o on_o together_o for_o it_o may_v chance_n prove_v a_o occasion_n of_o much_o inconvenience_n and_o of_o this_o we_o have_v experience_n and_o that_o it_o will_v fall_v out_o to_o be_v of_o better_a proof_n to_o consider_v very_o well_o how_o much_o our_o state_n of_o health_n and_o strength_n be_v able_a to_o endure_v but_o in_o all_o thing_n there_o will_v be_v need_n of_o good_a experience_n and_o of_o a_o good_a director_n for_o when_o once_o the_o soul_n be_v grow_v to_o be_v in_o these_o term_n many_o thing_n will_v come_v to_o offer_v themselves_o wherein_o there_o will_v be_v need_n enough_o of_o some_o body_n with_o who_o it_o may_v be_v fit_a to_o consider_v they_o and_o if_o any_o such_o man_n can_v not_o be_v find_v when_o he_o be_v seek_v our_o bless_a lord_n himself_o will_v not_o be_v want_v to_o he_o since_o he_o will_v not_o be_v want_v to_o i_o i_o be_v the_o wicked_a creature_n i_o be_o for_o i_o believe_v there_o be_v very_o few_o who_o be_v come_v to_o have_v experience_n of_o so_o many_o thing_n and_o if_o there_o be_v not_o experience_n it_o be_v in_o vain_a to_o think_v of_o any_o remedy_n which_o will_v not_o rather_o serve_v to_o disquiet_v and_o afflict_v the_o soul_n but_o the_o best_a be_v that_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v take_v even_o that_o trouble_n of_o we_o in_o account_n for_o some_o satisfaction_n of_o himself_o and_o therefore_o it_o will_v fallout_a to_o be_v better_o do_v to_o confer_v thereof_o as_o i_o have_v former_o say_v and_o so_o will_v it_o also_o be_v to_o proceed_v after_o this_o manner_n in_o all_o those_o thing_n whereof_o i_o be_o speak_v now_o for_o i_o see_v that_o this_o import_v very_o much_o especial_o if_o they_o be_v woman_n who_o be_v concern_v and_o that_o they_o do_v it_o with_o their_o ghostly_a father_n and_o that_o he_o also_o be_v such_o as_o be_v fit_a at_o least_o there_o use_v to_o be_v more_o woman_n than_o man_n to_o who_o our_o lord_n impart_v these_o favour_n and_o this_o i_o understand_v first_o from_o the_o holy_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n and_o i_o have_v also_o see_v myself_o that_o they_o proceed_v and_o profit_v more_o in_o this_o way_n of_o spirit_n than_o man_n do_v but_o he_o give_v excellent_a reason_n for_o his_o opinion_n which_o need_v not_o be_v insert_v here_o 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who_o be_v virtuous_o incline_v and_o hence_o flow_v down_o my_o tear_n together_o with_o a_o indignation_n to_o consider_v what_o i_o find_v in_o myself_o for_o i_o see_v that_o still_o i_o be_v as_o upon_o the_o pitch_n of_o return_v to_o fall_v again_o although_o my_o firm_a purpose_n and_o desire_n do_v then_o i_o mean_v so_o long_o as_o those_o favour_n last_v stand_v fast_o and_o firm_a a_o great_a inconvenience_n it_o be_v for_o a_o soul_n to_o find_v herself_o solitary_a and_o single_a among_o so_o many_o danger_n and_o i_o think_v that_o if_o i_o have_v any_o creature_n to_o who_o i_o may_v have_v impart_v all_o this_o it_o will_v have_v help_v i_o not_o to_o fall_v again_o at_o least_o for_o shame_n of_o the_o world_n if_o i_o will_v not_o be_v ashamed_a to_o offend_v god_n i_o will_v therefore_o advice_n advise_v they_o who_o make_v mental_a prayer_n and_o especial_o at_o the_o beginning_n thereof_o to_o procure_v some_o friendship_n and_o familiarity_n with_o other_o who_o 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