have_v a_o mind_n to_o be_v most_o particular_o serve_v and_o glorify_v by_o it_o and_o that_o the_o soul_n which_o will_v consecrate_v themselves_o to_o he_o therein_o may_v prove_v to_o be_v holy_a and_o happy_a in_o a_o very_a eminent_a degree_n as_o long_o as_o they_o will_v continue_v attentive_a and_o careful_a not_o to_o swerve_v from_o that_o spirit_n which_o be_v derive_v to_o they_o from_o heaven_n through_o s._n teresa_n by_o her_o prayer_n and_o tear_n and_o other_o holy_a mean_n which_o spirit_n of_o she_o though_o it_o evident_o appear_v both_o by_o the_o exercise_n and_o example_n of_o all_o heroical_a virtue_n yet_o particular_o it_o seem_v to_o aim_v and_o point_n at_o the_o regular_a and_o constant_a use_n of_o recollection_n &_o mental_a prayer_n whereof_o she_o speak_v often_o and_o with_o most_o particular_a desire_n and_o care_n and_o appoint_v two_o hour_n to_o be_v employ_v every_o day_n therein_o beside_o all_o other_o devotion_n of_o any_o kind_n which_o be_v 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excellent_a creature_n this_o point_n and_o practice_v of_o mental_a prayer_n be_v the_o most_o sacred_a and_o sovereign_a help_n by_o way_n either_o of_o preseruative_n before_o sin_n or_o yet_o of_o remedy_n or_o restorative_n after_o it_o which_o can_v possible_o be_v find_v or_o minister_v in_o this_o world_n and_o indeed_o a_o kind_n of_o manna_n from_o heaven_n which_o impart_v all_o kind_n of_o good_a to_o the_o soul_n good_a always_o in_o the_o substantial_a way_n because_o it_o always_o bring_v increase_n of_o grace_n &_o so_o enable_v man_n to_o win_v great_a victory_n over_o themselves_o where_o by_o they_o daily_o grow_v to_o be_v the_o servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n more_o &_o more_o and_o sometime_o also_o good_a in_o a_o way_n of_o most_o sovereign_a sweetness_n beyond_o any_o thing_n which_o flesh_n &_o blood_n know_v how_o to_o imagine_v but_o yet_o to_o make_v the_o soul_n capable_a of_o this_o last_o she_o must_v resolve_v to_o untie_v herself_o whole_o and_o it_o 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we_o at_o one_o payment_n in_o the_o next_o world_n or_o else_o by_o part_n &_o portion_n in_o this_o and_o whosoever_o shall_v be_v of_o a_o different_a mind_n will_v not_o only_o disoblige_v the_o glorious_a s._n teresa_n herself_o but_o may_v also_o make_v this_o book_n both_o a_o unprofitable_a &_o unuseful_a yea_o &_o even_o a_o inconvenient_a study_n for_o his_o soul_n but_o to_o return_v to_o the_o glorious_a action_n of_o this_o saint_n that_o beside_o the_o institute_n or_o redress_v this_o order_n where_o she_o have_v both_o man_n and_o woman_n though_o yet_o chief_o her_o own_o sex_n in_o her_o eye_n she_o shall_v also_o be_v only_o but_o a_o woman_n be_v able_a so_o to_o work_v upon_o man_n as_o in_o despite_n of_o less_o rigour_n &_o no_o little_a envy_n to_o bring_v they_o to_o take_v as_o it_o be_v the_o law_n at_o her_o hand_n and_o notwithstanding_o the_o pride_n of_o old_a adam_n to_o overworke_n they_o to_o cooperate_v with_o the_o grace_n of_o the_o new_a and_o to_o make_v they_o not_o disdain_v to_o accept_v of_o her_o instruction_n and_o to_o apply_v themselves_o to_o the_o imitation_n of_o this_o virgin_n will_v not_o allow_v we_o to_o do_v any_o thing_n but_o wonder_v save_v that_o it_o be_v most_o evident_o the_o hand_n and_o the_o strong_a hand_n of_o almighty_a god_n who_o enable_v and_o strengthen_v this_o dear_a servant_n of_o he_o to_o be_v the_o instrument_n of_o so_o heroical_a a_o work_n and_o all_o this_o be_v so_o excellent_o set_v down_o by_o the_o say_a doctor_n lewis_n de_fw-fr leon_n as_o that_o i_o will_v do_v both_o the_o saint_n and_o her_o child_n the_o right_a to_o show_v they_o the_o very_a fountain_n itself_o from_o whence_o the_o relation_n spring_v and_o not_o deface_v or_o disgrace_v it_o by_o any_o imperfect_a description_n of_o my_o own_o you_o be_v therefore_o to_o understand_v and_o consider_v for_o these_o circumstance_n be_v not_o impertinent_a to_o the_o substance_n that_o some_o year_n after_o the_o death_n of_o this_o excellent_a creature_n s._n teresa_n and_o long_o before_o she_o be_v declare_v a_o saint_n by_o the_o judgement_n of_o the_o holy_a catholic_a church_n in_o the_o process_n whereof_o there_o use_v ever_o to_o be_v even_o a_o excess_n of_o difficulty_n in_o weigh_v and_o admit_v of_o all_o proof_n there_o grow_v a_o question_n about_o the_o publish_n of_o her_o write_n and_o work_n and_o to_o the_o end_n that_o nothing_o may_v be_v do_v therein_o either_o by_o any_o indiscreet_a zeal_n or_o other_o accident_n the_o council_n royal_a of_o spain_n which_o be_v a_o body_n of_o great_a authority_n &_o wisdom_n commit_v the_o review_n of_o whatsoever_o the_o saint_n have_v leave_v behind_o she_o in_o that_o kind_n to_o be_v consider_v by_o some_o fit_n &_o grave_a person_n that_o so_o that_o which_o shall_v be_v find_v to_o be_v true_o she_o may_v be_v distinguish_v from_o other_o thing_n and_o so_o proceed_v to_o be_v public_a by_o authority_n this_o person_n be_v a_o learned_a and_o renown_a man_n a_o father_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n &_o a_o doctor_n who_o live_v in_o madrid_n at_o that_o time_n his_o name_n be_v lewis_z de_fw-fr leon_n as_o i_o say_v before_o who_o together_o with_o acknowledge_v and_o approve_v yea_o and_o admire_v her_o write_n whereof_o this_o life_n of_o she_o be_v the_o chief_a employ_v himself_o also_o with_o great_a care_n to_o set_v they_o out_o himself_z and_o when_o this_o book_n go_v to_o the_o press_n he_o dedicate_v it_o to_o the_o prioress_n and_o religious_a woman_n of_o the_o teresian-carmelites_n who_o then_o be_v new_o found_v in_o madrid_n and_o here_o you_o shall_v be_v entertain_v with_o as_o much_o of_o that_o dedicatory_a epistle_n as_o import_v the_o excellency_n both_o of_o the_o holy_a mother_n s._n
i_o still_o desire_v to_o recover_v my_o health_n though_o yet_o i_o endure_v my_o sickness_n with_o great_a alacrity_n and_o i_o will_v be_v think_v and_o consider_v sometime_o that_o if_o by_o enjoy_v my_o health_n i_o may_v chance_v be_v damn_v it_o will_v be_v better_o for_o i_o to_o remain_v still_o as_o sick_a as_o i_o be_v but_o howsoever_o i_o conceive_v that_o i_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o serve_v almighty_a god_n much_o better_o if_o i_o can_v enjoy_v my_o health_n now_o this_o be_v the_o abuse_n and_o error_n which_o deceive_v we_o not_o to_o resign_v ourselves_o entire_o to_o the_o disposition_n and_o good_a pleasure_n of_o our_o lord_n who_o know_v best_a what_o be_v fit_a for_o us._n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o get_v many_o mass_n say_v for_o this_o purpose_n and_o i_o resort_v also_o to_o the_o use_n of_o other_o solid_a and_o approve_a prayer_n for_o i_o be_v never_o a_o friend_n of_o certain_a odd_a devotion_n which_o be_v use_v by_o diverse_a person_n and_o especial_o by_o woman_n with_o some_o odd_a ceremony_n which_o i_o can_v never_o endure_v since_o i_o understand_v that_o they_o savour_v of_o superstition_n howsoever_o other_o folk_n be_v move_v by_o they_o and_o so_o i_o take_v for_o my_o advocate_n and_o lord_n the_o glorious_a s._n joseph_n and_o i_o recommend_v myself_o much_o to_o he_o and_o i_o have_v see_v clear_o that_o this_o father_n and_o lord_n of_o i_o have_v draw_v i_o as_o well_o out_o of_o this_o necessity_n as_o out_o of_o other_o great_a when_o there_o be_v question_n of_o honour_n and_o loss_n of_o the_o soul_n and_o that_o with_o more_o benefit_n and_o advantage_n then_o even_o myself_o can_v tell_v how_o to_o desire_v nay_o i_o can_v remember_v that_o hitherto_o i_o ever_o desire_v any_o thing_n by_o his_o mean_n which_o he_o have_v fail_v to_o obtain_v for_o i_o and_o it_o be_v able_a even_o to_o amaze_v i_o when_o i_o consider_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o almighty_a god_n have_v do_v i_o by_o mean_n of_o this_o bless_a saint_n and_o the_o danger_n both_o of_o body_n and_o soul_n out_o of_o which_o he_o have_v deliver_v i_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o it_o seem_v our_o lord_n have_v give_v the_o grace_n and_o power_n to_o other_o saint_n to_o succour_v man_n in_o some_o one_o kind_n of_o necessity_n of_o they_o but_o i_o find_v by_o good_a experience_n that_o this_o glorious_a saint_n succour_v we_o in_o they_o all_o and_o that_o our_o lord_n will_v make_v we_o understand_v that_o as_o he_o will_v be_v subject_a to_o s._n joseph_n upon_o earth_n and_o that_o by_o enjoy_v the_o name_n of_o his_o father_n and_o by_o be_v as_o it_o be_v his_o director_n and_o tutor_n he_o may_v command_v he_o so_o also_o he_o will_v now_o in_o heaven_n grant_v whatsoever_o this_o saint_n shall_v desire_v this_o truth_n have_v also_o be_v see_v by_o the_o experience_n of_o other_o who_o i_o have_v desire_v to_o recommend_v themselves_o to_o this_o saint_n and_o now_o many_o be_v grow_v to_o be_v devote_a to_o he_o and_o myself_o also_o have_v fresh_a experience_n of_o this_o truth_n for_o my_o part_n i_o procure_v to_o celebrate_v his_o festivitie_n with_o all_o the_o solemnity_n i_o be_v able_a to_o use_v but_o yet_o with_o more_o vanity_n then_o true_a spirit_n desire_v that_o it_o may_v be_v perform_v with_o much_o curiosity_n and_o exactness_n though_o yet_o still_o with_o good_a intention_n but_o i_o ever_o have_v this_o of_o ill_a that_o if_o our_o lord_n enable_v i_o at_o any_o time_n to_o do_v any_o thing_n which_o be_v good_a it_o will_v be_v full_a of_o imperfection_n and_o fault_n whereas_o towards_o the_o do_v any_o thing_n amiss_o and_o for_o the_o exercise_v of_o curiosity_n and_o vanity_n i_o use_v much_o diligence_n and_o dexterity_n and_o cunning_a our_o lord_n pardon_v i_o for_o it_o and_o now_o i_o will_v fain_o persuade_v all_o the_o world_n to_o be_v devote_a to_o this_o glorious_a saint_n for_o the_o great_a experience_n which_o i_o have_v have_v of_o the_o blessing_n that_o he_o obtain_v for_o we_o of_o almighty_a god_n nay_o i_o have_v never_o know_v any_o one_o who_o be_v serious_o devote_a to_o he_o and_o perform_v he_o particular_a service_n who_o i_o find_v not_o also_o to_o go_v proceed_v on_o in_o virtue_n for_o real_o he_o assist_v those_o soul_n much_o which_o recommend_v themselves_o to_o he_o and_o to_o my_o best_a remembrance_n there_o be_v diverse_a year_n wherein_o i_o have_v desire_v somewhat_o of_o he_o upon_o his_o festival_n day_n and_o i_o have_v ever_o find_v it_o grant_v and_o if_o peradventure_o my_o petition_n have_v some_o little_a of_o the_o indirect_a belong_v to_o it_o he_o redress_v it_o and_o set_v it_o straight_o for_o my_o great_a good_a if_o i_o be_v any_o such_o person_n as_o have_v authority_n to_o write_v i_o will_v glad_o enlarge_v myself_o here_o to_o make_v particular_a relation_n of_o the_o favour_n which_o this_o glorious_a saint_n have_v obtain_v both_o for_o i_o and_o other_o but_o to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v do_v no_o more_o than_o i_o be_o command_v i_o must_v be_v short_a in_o many_o thing_n than_o i_o will_v and_o more_o large_a in_o other_o then_o be_v needful_a like_o one_o in_o fine_a who_o have_v little_a discretion_n for_o the_o do_v of_o any_o thing_n which_o be_v good_a only_o i_o beg_v for_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n that_o whosoever_o can_v believe_v i_o will_v try_v the_o truth_n of_o what_o i_o say_v for_o he_o shall_v find_v by_o experience_n how_o great_o a_o good_a thing_n it_o be_v to_o recommend_v himself_o to_o this_o glorious_a patriarch_n and_o to_o be_v devote_a to_o he_o especial_o such_o as_o give_v themselves_o to_o prayer_n shall_v always_o be_v affectionate_a to_o this_o saint_n for_o i_o know_v not_o how_o one_o can_v think_v of_o the_o queen_n of_o the_o angel_n at_o those_o time_n when_o she_o suffer_v so_o much_o during_o the_o infancy_n of_o our_o lord_n jesus_n and_o not_o give_v thanks_n to_o s._n joseph_n for_o the_o great_a assistance_n which_o he_o give_v they_o at_o that_o time_n whosoever_o want_v a_o master_n who_o may_v instruct_v he_o to_o pray_v let_v he_o take_v this_o glorious_a saint_n for_o his_o guide_n and_o he_o shall_v never_o loose_v his_o way_n i_o beseech_v our_o lord_n that_o i_o may_v have_v commit_v no_o error_n in_o presume_v to_o speak_v of_o this_o saint_n for_o though_o i_o thus_o profess_v and_o publish_v myself_o to_o be_v devote_a to_o he_o yet_o have_v i_o be_v ever_o faulty_a in_o the_o not_o do_v he_o real_a service_n and_o in_o not_o imitate_v his_o virtue_n but_o now_o he_o do_v like_o himself_o by_o procure_v that_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o rise_v and_o walk_v and_o be_v no_o long_o a_o cripple_n and_o so_o i_o do_v also_o like_o myself_o in_o make_v so_o ill_o use_v of_o this_o favour_n but_o now_o who_o will_v ever_o have_v imagine_v that_o i_o can_v so_o soon_o fall_v back_o again_o after_o my_o receive_n so_o many_o regalo_n at_o the_o hand_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o after_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v vouchsafe_v to_o give_v i_o some_o virtue_n which_o even_o as_o it_o be_v of_o themselves_o do_v awake_a and_o stir_v i_o up_o to_o his_o service_n and_o after_o i_o have_v see_v myself_o even_o as_o it_o be_v dead_a and_o in_o so_o imminent_a danger_n to_o be_v condemn_v to_o hell_n and_o after_o he_o have_v raise_v i_o again_o both_o in_o body_n and_o soul_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o all_o they_o who_o see_v i_o be_v even_o amaze_v to_o find_v that_o i_o can_v so_o long_o be_v alive_a but_o what_o be_v this_o o_o my_o lord_n and_o my_o god_n be_v this_o life_n to_o be_v still_o so_o dangerous_a which_o we_o be_v to_o live_v even_o now_o whilst_o i_o be_o write_v this_o i_o think_v that_o by_o this_o favour_n and_o mercy_n i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o say_v with_o s._n paul_n though_o yet_o not_o with_o such_o perfection_n as_o he_o say_v it_o that_o now_o it_o be_v not_o i_o who_o live_v but_o thou_o o_o my_o creator_n who_o live_v in_o i_o according_a to_o the_o experience_n which_o i_o have_v have_v some_o year_n by_o that_o little_a which_o i_o be_o able_a to_o understand_v of_o myself_o and_o still_o thou_o hold_v and_o keep_v thy_o hand_n over_o i_o and_o i_o find_v myself_o full_a of_o desire_n and_o good_a purpose_n and_o in_o some_o sort_n i_o have_v prove_v also_o even_o by_o experience_n of_o many_o thing_n in_o these_o late_a year_n that_o i_o will_v by_o no_o mean_n do_v any_o thing_n which_o shall_v contradict_v or_o cross_v thy_o will_n how_o little_a soever_o it_o may_v be_v though_o yet_o i_o well_o believe_v that_o i_o
great_a preparation_n be_v also_o use_v and_o provision_n make_v for_o every_o one_o of_o they_o who_o shall_v desire_v to_o enjoy_v their_o spouse_n jesus-christ_n our_o lord_n hand_n to_o hand_n by_o live_v cheerful_o and_o everlasting_o in_o the_o say_a rule_n for_o this_o be_v that_o very_a thing_n which_o they_o be_v always_o to_o resolve_v they_o alone_o with_o he_o alone_o and_o they_o be_v to_o be_v no_o more_o than_o thirteen_o for_o i_o see_v by_o the_o opinion_n of_o many_o that_o this_o be_v fit_a and_o i_o have_v find_v it_o also_o to_o be_v true_a by_o experience_n that_o to_o preserve_v that_o spirit_n which_o they_o have_v and_o to_o live_v of_o alm_n it_o without_o ask_v any_o thing_n of_o any_o creature_n there_o will_v not_o be_v mean_n for_o more_o and_o ever_o let_v they_o be_v believe_v best_a who_o with_o many_o trouble_n of_o their_o own_o and_o by_o mean_n of_o the_o many_o prayer_n of_o other_o procure_v that_o that_o may_v be_v do_v which_o be_v best_a and_o 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high_a and_o abstract_a nature_n of_o the_o very_a content_n of_o the_o book_n partly_o through_o the_o great_a length_n of_o the_o period_n partly_o through_o the_o multitude_n sometime_o of_o parenthesis_n even_o in_o the_o same_o sentence_n partly_o through_o her_o forbear_n to_o use_v those_o particle_n in_o the_o begin_n of_o the_o say_a sentence_n as_o namely_o for_o but_o yet_o therefore_o and_o the_o like_a without_o which_o it_o be_v not_o always_o so_o easy_a to_o discern_v whether_o the_o discourse_n be_v either_o continue_v or_o interrupt_v or_o end_v and_o partly_o &_o cheiflie_o by_o the_o ill_a print_n and_o worse_o point_v of_o all_o the_o spanish_a copy_n which_o i_o can_v ever_o come_v to_o see_v all_o which_o i_o be_o fain_a to_o allege_v by_o way_n of_o a_o humble_a excuse_n for_o whatsoever_o error_n i_o may_v have_v involuntarilie_o commit_v in_o this_o case_n but_o howsoever_o i_o here_o present_v it_o to_o the_o glory_n of_o almighty_a god_n to_o the_o praise_n 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forasmuch_o as_o may_v concern_v the_o hart_n or_o will._n for_o as_o these_o moral_a part_n will_v keep_v they_o from_o deceive_a other_o so_o the_o intellectual_a will_v secure_v they_o from_o be_v deceive_v themselves_o and_o will_v make_v they_o define_v and_o divide_v and_o suspect_v and_o doubt_v and_o ask_v before_o they_o full_o resolve_v to_o believe_v &_o much_o more_o before_o they_o will_v publish_v thing_n to_o the_o world_n and_o now_o as_o the_o incomparable_a s._n augustin_n be_v call_v by_o the_o consideration_n of_o his_o own_o great_a sin_n and_o god_n great_a mercy_n to_o declare_v his_o life_n in_o the_o never_o enough_o admire_v book_n of_o his_o confession_n so_o also_o do_v the_o glorious_a s._n teresa_n the_o self_n same_o thing_n in_o effect_n in_o this_o book_n but_o by_o direction_n of_o her_o ghostly_a father_n not_o yet_o that_o he_o do_v so_o much_o as_o incline_v she_o to_o publish_v she_o own_o imperfection_n and_o sin_n nay_o rather_o he_o do_v the_o 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opinion_n they_o be_v not_o shed_v with_o that_o sense_n and_o grief_n for_o only_o my_o have_v offend_v almighty_a god_n which_o may_v have_v serve_v to_o save_v my_o soul_n if_o the_o error_n into_o which_o i_o be_v bring_v by_o they_o who_o have_v tell_v i_o that_o they_o be_v not_o matter_n of_o mortal_a sin_n which_o afterward_o i_o see_v plain_o that_o they_o be_v may_v not_o serve_v my_o turn_n for_o the_o torment_n wherewith_o i_o remain_v be_v intolerable_a and_o my_o understanding_n not_o very_o sharp_a but_o rather_o dull_a though_o yet_o as_o i_o conceive_v my_o confession_n be_v entire_a of_o all_o thing_n whereby_o i_o may_v think_v that_o i_o have_v offend_v god_n for_o this_o mercy_n do_v his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o allow_v i_o among_o other_o that_o after_o i_o have_v once_o begin_v to_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n i_o never_o omit_v to_o confess_v any_o thing_n which_o i_o conceive_v to_o be_v a_o sin_n though_o it_o be_v but_o venial_a though_o yet_o still_o i_o think_v that_o without_o doubt_n my_o soul_n may_v have_v run_v hazard_n not_o to_o be_v save_v if_o i_o have_v die_v then_o in_o regard_n that_o on_o the_o one_o side_n my_o ghostly_a father_n have_v be_v so_o mean_o learn_v and_o on_o the_o other_o side_n and_o indeed_o on_o many_o side_n in_o regard_n that_o in_o myself_o i_o be_v so_o wicked_a but_o this_o be_v always_o a_o most_o certain_a truth_n that_o when_o i_o return_v to_o a_o thought_n of_o this_o passage_n and_o consider_v how_o it_o seem_v as_o if_o our_o lord_n have_v raise_v i_o again_o from_o death_n to_o life_n i_o be_o fill_v with_o so_o huge_a a_o amazement_n that_o i_o remain_v even_o as_o it_o be_v all_o quake_a within_o myself_o and_o now_o i_o think_v it_o be_v well_o o_o my_o soul_n that_o thou_o will_v gather_v this_o just_a resolution_n from_o that_o great_a danger_n out_o of_o which_o it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o deliver_v thou_o that_o although_o thou_o will_v not_o fly_v from_o offend_v his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o love_n yet_o at_o least_o thou_o shall_v forbear_v to_o do_v it_o for_o fear_n for_o he_o may_v have_v take_v thy_o life_n from_o thou_o a_o thousand_o time_n when_o thou_o be_v in_o a_o more_o dangerous_a state_n and_o i_o think_v that_o i_o shall_v not_o say_v too_o much_o if_o i_o do_v speak_v of_o a_o thousand_o time_n more_o though_o he_o perhaps_o may_v chide_v i_o who_o command_v i_o to_o use_v moderation_n in_o the_o recital_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o yet_o i_o doubt_v that_o i_o have_v paint_v they_o out_o too_o favourable_o and_o fair_a but_o i_o beg_v of_o he_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v not_o once_o think_v of_o make_v i_o diminish_v my_o fault_n because_o the_o magnificence_n of_o almighty_a god_n be_v to_o be_v discern_v thereby_o and_o how_o much_o he_o be_v please_v to_o suffer_v and_o endure_v from_o a_o soul_n let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o and_o let_v it_o also_o please_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o he_o may_v rather_o consume_v i_o quite_o then_o that_o i_o shall_v ever_o leave_v to_o love_v he_o more_o the_o six_o chapter_n she_o treat_v of_o how_o much_o she_o owe_v our_o b._n lord_n for_o his_o give_v she_o conformity_n to_o his_o holy_a will_n in_o so_o great_a affliction_n and_o how_o she_o take_v the_o glorious_a s._n joseph_n for_o her_o intercessor_n and_o how_o advantageous_a that_o devotion_n prove_v to_o be_v i_o remain_v during_o those_o four_o day_n of_o agony_n or_o trance_n in_o such_o state_n that_o only_o our_o b._n lord_n be_v able_a to_o know_v the_o unsufferable_a torment_n which_o i_o feel_v in_o myself_o my_o tongue_n be_v deep_o bite_v by_o i_o in_o many_o place_n my_o throat_n with_o have_v take_v nothing_o and_o by_o reason_n also_o of_o my_o very_a great_a weakness_n can_v not_o swallow_v so_o much_o as_o a_o drop_n of_o water_n without_o choke_v i_o thought_n i_o be_v total_o disjoint_v and_o my_o head_n in_o extreme_a disorder_n i_o be_v also_o as_o it_o be_v all_o roll_a up_o and_o contract_v as_o if_o i_o have_v be_v a_o bottom_n of_o packthridd_n for_o in_o this_o do_v the_o torment_n of_o those_o day_n fix_v themselves_o without_o my_o be_v able_a once_o to_o stir_v either_o hand_n or_o foot_n arm_n or_o head_n unless_o they_o move_v i_o any_o more_o then_o as_o if_o i_o have_v be_v dead_a only_o i_o think_v i_o be_v able_a to_o wag_n one_o single_v finger_fw-la of_o my_o right_a hand_n now_o for_o any_o body_n to_o touch_v i_o in_o any_o kind_n there_o be_v no_o mean_n at_o all_o for_o my_o whole_a person_n be_v so_o affect_v and_o afflict_a as_o that_o there_o be_v no_o endure_v to_o have_v it_o touch_v in_o a_o sheet_n they_o will_v be_v remove_v i_o now_o and_o then_o according_a to_o the_o occasion_n with_o one_o at_o one_o end_n thereof_o &_o another_o at_o the_o other_o and_o this_o last_v till_o easter_n only_o this_o i_o have_v by_o way_n of_o ease_n that_o if_o i_o be_v not_o approach_v and_o touch_v these_o torment_n will_v be_v cease_v many_o time_n and_o then_o upon_o the_o account_n of_o my_o be_v in_o less_o pain_n i_o be_v content_a to_o affirm_v myself_o to_o be_v well_o but_o indeed_o i_o be_v much_o afraid_a lest_o my_o patience_n shall_v begin_v to_o fail_v i_o and_o therefore_o i_o be_v not_o a_o little_a please_v to_o find_v myself_o without_o those_o sharp_a and_o continual_a torment_n though_o yet_o i_o have_v they_o after_o a_o unsupportable_a manner_n together_o with_o a_o very_a great_a detestation_n of_o food_n whilst_o i_o have_v those_o fierce_a cold_n which_o indeed_o
in_o the_o garden_n it_o be_v to_o my_o think_n as_o if_o our_o lord_n have_v make_v it_o to_o be_v utter_v for_o i_o so_o quick_a be_v that_o sense_n which_o i_o have_v thereof_o in_o my_o hart_n and_o i_o be_v for_o a_o very_a great_a while_n even_o dissolve_v as_o it_o be_v in_o tear_n and_o feel_v a_o great_a affliction_n and_o vexation_n o_o my_o dear_a lord_n howmuch_o do_v a_o soul_n grow_v to_o suffer_v and_o what_o torment_n do_v it_o endure_v for_o the_o lose_n of_o her_o liberty_n while_o yet_o she_o be_v create_v and_o ordain_v to_o be_v the_o lady_n of_o herself_o and_o to_o command_v for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o in_o a_o wonder_n how_o i_o can_v be_v able_a to_o endure_v so_o great_a torment_n but_o bless_v be_v almighty_a god_n who_o give_v i_o life_n till_o i_o may_v get_v out_o of_o that_o so_o deadly_a a_o death_n and_o now_o i_o think_v my_o soul_n be_v obtain_v great_a strength_n at_o the_o hand_n of_o that_o divine_a majesty_n and_o that_o now_o he_o may_v grow_v to_o be_v please_v to_o hear_v my_o outcry_n and_o have_v compassion_n of_o my_o so_o many_o tear_n upon_o this_o my_o affection_n to_o spend_v more_o time_n with_o he_o begin_v to_o increase_v and_o to_o take_v myself_o also_o out_o of_o the_o way_n of_o ill_a occasion_n for_o when_o they_o once_o be_v go_v i_o begin_v to_o love_v his_o divine_a majesty_n again_o at_o least_o i_o think_v i_o may_v conclude_v myself_o then_o to_o love_v he_o but_o the_o truth_n be_v that_o i_o understand_v not_o as_o i_o ought_v to_o have_v understand_v in_o what_o the_o true_a love_n of_o god_n do_v consist_v and_o to_o the_o best_a that_o i_o be_o able_a to_o judge_v i_o do_v even_o scarce_o make_v a_o end_n of_o dispose_v myself_o final_o to_o resolve_v to_o serve_v he_o when_o his_o divine_a majesty_n begin_v already_o to_o vouchsafe_v i_o new_a regalos_n and_o favour_n and_o it_o seem_v that_o what_o other_o must_v be_v glad_a to_o endeavour_v to_o get_v with_o much_o labour_n our_o lord_n be_v fain_o to_o find_v mean_n to_o make_v i_o content_a to_o accept_v which_o be_v in_o these_o latter_a year_n to_o delight_v and_o regale_n i_o in_o great_a measure_n i_o never_o presume_v to_o desire_v that_o he_o will_v give_v i_o even_o so_o much_o as_o any_o tenderness_n of_o devotion_n but_o i_o only_o beg_v so_o great_a mercy_n as_o may_v win_v he_o to_o allow_v i_o pardon_v for_o my_o sin_n already_o commit_v and_o so_o much_o grace_n as_o that_o i_o may_v commit_v no_o more_o but_o i_o see_v how_o great_a they_o be_v dare_v never_o advise_o desire_v any_o regalo_n or_o spiritual_a delight_n at_o his_o hand_n for_o i_o think_v he_o show_v i_o pity_n enough_o and_o it_o be_v real_o a_o very_a eminent_a mercy_n to_o consent_v that_o i_o shall_v arrive_v to_o be_v in_o his_o presence_n consider_v how_o well_o i_o know_v that_o if_o himself_o have_v not_o procure_v it_o i_o shall_v never_o have_v come_v only_o once_o in_o my_o whole_a life_n i_o remember_v that_o whilst_o i_o be_v in_o great_a dryness_n of_o devotion_n i_o desire_v he_o to_o give_v i_o some_o little_a spiritual_a gust_n but_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o reflect_v upon_o what_o i_o have_v do_v i_o remain_v so_o full_a of_o confusion_n by_o it_o that_o the_o only_o vexation_n i_o have_v to_o see_v myself_o with_o so_o little_a humility_n do_v give_v i_o that_o very_a advantage_n which_o i_o have_v presume_v to_o beg_v i_o be_v not_o ignorant_a that_o it_o may_v be_v no_o way_n a_o unlawful_a thing_n to_o desire_v it_o but_o i_o conceive_v that_o this_o be_v true_a for_o they_o who_o be_v well_o dispose_v to_o receive_v it_o by_o their_o have_v procure_v true_a devotion_n with_o all_o their_o power_n which_o consist_v in_o not_o offend_v almighty_a god_n and_o in_o be_v incline_v and_o resolve_v to_o do_v all_o that_o which_o be_v good_a and_o i_o think_v those_o tear_n of_o i_o be_v but_o faint_a and_o feminine_a tear_n and_o without_o any_o force_n or_o strength_n since_o i_o obtain_v not_o that_o by_o they_o which_o i_o desire_v though_o yet_o upon_o the_o whole_a matter_n i_o also_o believe_v that_o they_o be_v useful_a to_o i_o as_o i_o have_v say_v for_o in_o particular_a after_o those_o two_o several_a time_n of_o that_o so_o great_a compunction_n and_o travail_v of_o hart_n which_o i_o have_v i_o begin_v to_o give_v myself_o more_o to_o prayer_n and_o to_o interest_n myself_o less_a in_o such_o thing_n as_o may_v do_v i_o hurt_v though_o yet_o i_o do_v not_o utter_o give_v they_o over_o but_o god_n as_o i_o be_v say_v go_v help_v i_o to_o withdraw_v myself_o out_o of_o those_o danger_n for_o his_o divine_a majesty_n do_v but_o expect_v some_o preparation_n or_o disposition_n in_o i_o that_o so_o his_o spiritual_a favour_n may_v grow_v on_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o i_o shall_v relate_v our_o lord_n be_v not_o accustom_v to_o grant_v they_o but_o to_o such_o as_o maintain_v their_o conscience_n in_o more_o purity_n then_o i_o have_v former_o possess_v the_o ten_o chapter_n she_o begin_v to_o declare_v the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n do_v she_o in_o prayer_n and_o speak_v of_o that_o wherein_o we_o may_v be_v able_a to_o help_v ourselves_o and_o how_o much_o it_o also_o import_v we_o to_o understand_v the_o say_v favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v us._n she_o humble_o desire_v of_o he_o to_o who_o she_o send_v this_o account_n of_o herself_o that_o whatsoever_o she_o shall_v declare_v from_o hence_o forward_o may_v remain_v in_o secret_a with_o he_o since_o he_o have_v command_v she_o to_o set_v down_o in_o so_o particular_a a_o manner_n the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v she_o i_o enjoy_v sometime_o as_o i_o say_v some_o beginning_n of_o that_o which_o i_o shall_v now_o declare_v though_o it_o use_v to_o pass_v away_o very_o quick_o it_o fall_v out_o in_o this_o representation_n whereof_o i_o speak_v when_o i_o place_v myself_o near_o christ_n our_o lord_n yea_o and_o sometime_o also_o when_o i_o will_v be_v read_v that_o there_o will_v come_v sudden_o upon_o i_o and_o without_o either_o expectation_n or_o any_o immediate_a preparation_n on_o my_o part_n such_o a_o evident_a feel_n of_o the_o favour_n presence_n of_o almighty_a god_n as_o that_o i_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n doubt_n but_o that_o either_o he_o be_v within_o i_o or_o else_o i_o all_o ingulfed_a in_o he_o this_o be_v not_o in_o the_o manner_n of_o a_o vision_n but_o i_o think_v they_o call_v it_o mystical_a theology_n and_o it_o suspend_v the_o soul_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o she_o seem_v to_o be_v whole_o out_o of_o herself_o the_o will_n be_v in_o act_n of_o love_a the_o memory_n seem_v to_o i_o to_o be_v in_o a_o manner_n lose_v the_o understanding_n in_o my_o opinion_n it_o discourse_v not_o &_o although_o it_o be_v not_o lose_v yet_o it_o work_v not_o in_o that_o kind_n as_o i_o be_v say_v but_o remain_v as_o it_o be_v amazed_z to_o consider_v how_o much_o it_o understand_v though_o yet_o it_o please_v god_n that_o it_o understand_v itself_o also_o not_o to_o understand_v full_o any_o part_n of_o that_o which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n represent_v to_o it_o before_o this_o time_n i_o have_v be_v use_v to_o find_v a_o very_a constant_a and_o continual_a tenderness_n or_o sweetness_n which_o i_o think_v may_v in_o some_o part_n be_v procure_v and_o it_o be_v a_o regalo_n which_o be_v neither_o whole_o sensual_a nor_o whole_o spiritual_a but_o it_o be_v whole_o the_o gift_n and_o blessing_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o it_o seem_v that_o we_o may_v great_o help_v towards_o the_o obtain_n this_o for_o ourselves_o by_o consider_v our_o own_o baseness_n and_o the_o ingratitude_n which_o we_o use_v towards_o almighty_a god_n how_o much_o he_o do_v for_o we_o his_o passion_n and_o grievous_a torment_n his_o whole_a life_n which_o be_v so_o full_a of_o affliction_n to_o delight_v ourselves_o in_o consider_v his_o work_n and_o his_o greatness_n &_o how_o much_o he_o love_v we_o and_o many_o other_o such_o thing_n as_o these_o upon_o which_o whosoever_o shall_v have_v care_n to_o profit_n will_v be_v able_a to_o fall_v many_o time_n though_o yet_o he_o have_v just_a then_o no_o particular_a design_n that_o way_n and_o if_o together_o with_o these_o reflection_n the_o party_n fall_v out_o to_o be_v possess_v and_o seize_v with_o any_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n the_o soul_n will_v be_v all_o regale_v the_o hart_n will_v be_v full_a of_o tenderness_n and_o relent_a and_o tear_n will_v also_o abound_v which_o sometime_o we_o shall_v seem_v to_o have_v get_v as_o it_o be_v by_o force_n and_o at_o other_o time_n
soul_n do_v at_o that_o time_n and_o our_o lord_n say_v this_o to_o i_o in_o these_o word_n it_o do_v my_o daughter_n dissolve_v and_o defeat_v itself_o to_o be_v so_o the_o more_o ingulfed_a in_o i_o for_o now_o it_o be_v no_o long_o she_o who_o live_v but_o i_o and_o since_o she_o can_v comprehend_v that_o which_o she_o understand_v her_o very_a understanding_n it_o after_o a_o kind_n of_o moral_a way_n which_o she_o do_v be_v real_o a_o not_o understand_v it_o after_o a_o strict_a &_o comprehensive_a way_n which_o she_o be_v not_o able_a to_o do_v he_o who_o shall_v have_v have_v trial_n of_o this_o by_o experience_n will_v be_v able_a to_o arrive_v to_o the_o expression_n of_o some_o part_n thereof_o but_o as_o for_o i_o i_o can_v deliver_v that_o more_o clear_o which_o pass_v here_o since_o it_o be_v so_o very_o obscure_a i_o can_v only_o say_v that_o in_o this_o case_n their_o be_v then_o so_o close_o to_o almighty_a god_n be_v represent_v to_o they_o and_o there_o remain_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o certainty_n thereof_o that_o it_o can_v possible_o fail_v to_o be_v believe_v and_o now_o here_o all_o the_o power_n of_o the_o soul_n fall_v short_a of_o operation_n and_o be_v suspend_v in_o such_o sort_n that_o by_o no_o mean_n as_o i_o have_v say_v it_o can_v possible_o be_v understand_v that_o they_o work_v if_o she_o be_v think_v of_o some_o mystery_n it_o be_v instant_o so_o forget_v as_o if_o there_o have_v never_o beme_fw-mi any_o such_o thought_n if_o she_o be_v read_v there_o be_v no_o remembrance_n of_o it_o nor_o yet_o of_o pause_v and_o if_o pray_v vocal_o in_o like_a manner_n so_o that_o now_o this_o importunate_a little_a gnatt_n of_o the_o memory_n have_v her_o wing_n burn_v here_o and_o can_v now_o no_o long_o spring-up_a nor_o stir_v the_o will_v also_o be_v now_o employ_v all_o in_o love_v though_o it_o understand_v not_o how_o it_o love_v the_o understanding_n if_o it_o understand_v it_o be_v not_o yet_o understand_v how_o it_o understand_v and_o at_o least_o it_o can_v comprehend_v nothing_o of_o that_o which_o it_o understand_v to_o i_o it_o do_v not_o seem_v that_o it_o understand_v because_o as_o i_o be_v say_v it_o be_v not_o understand_v and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o attain_v not_o to_o understand_v all_o this_o at_o the_o first_o i_o chance_v to_o be_v in_o so_o great_a a_o ignorance_n as_o not_o to_o know_v that_o almighty_a god_n be_v in_o all_o thing_n and_o consider_v how_o very_o present_a i_o conceive_v he_o to_o be_v to_o i_o it_o seem_v impossible_a for_o i_o to_o believe_v the_o contrary_n to_o leave_v therefore_o to_o believe_v that_o he_o be_v there_o i_o can_v not_o because_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o as_o it_o be_v apparent_o and_o clear_o that_o i_o have_v understand_v his_o very_a presence_n to_o be_v there_o some_o man_n who_o be_v not_o learned_a tell_v i_o that_o he_o be_v only_o there_o by_o his_o grace_n which_o still_o i_o can_v not_o possible_o believe_v because_o as_o i_o be_v say_v i_o hold_v he_o to_o be_v direct_o present_a otherwise_o and_o thus_o i_o continue_v with_o some_o trouble_n but_o at_o length_n a_o great_a learned_a man_n of_o the_o order_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n dominick_n free_v i_o from_o this_o doubt_n and_o tell_v i_o not_o only_o that_o he_o be_v present_a but_o that_o he_o also_o communicate_v himself_o to_o we_o which_o comfort_v i_o very_o much_o but_o now_o it_o be_v here_o to_o be_v note_v and_o understand_v that_o this_o celestial_a water_n be_v always_o a_o most_o eminent_a favour_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o give_v the_o soul_n excessive_o great_a advantage_n as_o i_o shall_v now_o declare_v the_o nineteen_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o discourse_n and_o begin_v to_o declare_v the_o effect_n which_o this_o degree_n of_o prayer_n work_n in_o the_o soul_n she_o persuade_v man_n earnest_o not_o to_o turn_v back_o nor_o to_o give-ove_a their_o prayer_n though_o they_o shall_v happen_v to_o fall_v even_o after_o they_o have_v receive_v these_o favour_n she_o speak_v of_o the_o great_a harm_n which_o will_v arrive_v to_o they_o if_o they_o do_v otherwise_o this_o discourse_n be_v much_o to_o be_v note_v and_o it_o be_v of_o great_a consolation_n for_o weak_a person_n and_o sinner_n the_o soul_n do_v in_o this_o prayer_n and_o union_n remain_v with_o a_o excessive_a kind_n of_o tenderness_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o she_o will_v feign_v even_o defeat_v and_o dissolve_v herself_o not_o through_o pain_n or_o trouble_v but_o by_o abundance_n of_o tear_n of_o joy_n wherein_o she_o be_v bathe_v without_o so_o much_o as_o feel_v or_o know_v how_o or_o when_o she_o weep_v they_o it_o give_v she_o a_o great_a delight_n to_o find_v the_o impetuous_a force_n of_o that_o fire_n appease_v and_o allay_v by_o water_n which_o yet_o make_v it_o increase_v so_o much_o the_o more_o this_o language_n of_o i_o may_v seem_v to_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o gibberish_n but_o yet_o thus_o stand_v the_o case_n it_o have_v happen_v to_o i_o sometime_o when_o i_o be_v in_o this_o part_n of_o this_o prayer_n to_o be_v so_o prayer_n whole_o out_o of_o myself_o as_o that_o i_o know_v not_o whether_o i_o be_v awake_a or_o asleep_o or_o whither_o in_o very_a deed_n i_o have_v be_v in_o that_o glory_n which_o i_o feel_v and_o whether_o it_o be_v true_a that_o i_o be_v indeed_o so_o all_o bathe_v in_o water_n which_o distil_v with_o such_o force_n and_o speed_n from_o my_o eye_n that_o it_o seem_v as_o if_o a_o very_a cloud_n of_o heaven_n have_v rain_v it_o down_o but_o in_o fine_a i_o find_v that_o it_o be_v no_o dream_n this_o happen_v to_o be_v in_o the_o beginning_n of_o this_o prayer_n and_o it_o pass_v quick_o over_o but_o the_o soul_n remain_v so_o courageous_a thereby_o that_o if_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o she_o to_o be_v cut_v into_o a_o thousand_o piece_n for_o god_n sake_n it_o will_v be_v of_o extreme_a consolation_n to_o she_o and_o now_o here_o come_v in_o all_o her_o promise_n her_o heroical_a resolution_n the_o livelie_a efficacy_n of_o her_o desire_n her_o beginning_n to_o abhor_v the_o world_n her_o clear_o discern_v she_o own_o vanity_n and_o all_o this_o much_o more_o perfect_o and_o more_o high_o than_o it_o happen_v in_o any_o of_o her_o former_a prayer_n her_o humility_n be_v also_o grow_v much_o strong_a for_o now_o she_o very_o clear_o discern_v that_o no_o diligence_n at_o all_o of_o her_o own_o be_v any_o piece_n of_o a_o cause_n for_o bring_v she_o that_o excessive_a and_o incomparable_a favour_n nor_o for_o make_v she_o enjoy_v the_o same_o she_o see_v now_o clear_o that_o she_o be_v a_o most_o unworthy_a creature_n for_o in_o any_o room_n where_o there_o enter_v a_o strong_a and_o clear_a sunbeam_n there_o be_v not_o the_o least_o and_o thin_a cobweb_n which_o can_v lie_v hide_v she_o now_o look_v very_o clear_o upon_o her_o own_o misery_n and_o now_o she_o be_v so_o very_o free_a from_o vainglory_n that_o it_o seem_v a_o kind_n of_o impossible_a thing_n for_o she_o to_o have_v any_o because_o now_o already_o she_o have_v it_o even_o in_o her_o very_a eye_n how_o little_a she_o be_v able_a to_o perform_v or_o rather_o in_o very_a deed_n that_o it_o be_v just_o nothing_o at_o all_o and_o that_o in_o this_o case_n there_o be_v hardly_o so_o much_o as_o any_o consent_n of_o she_o but_o that_o it_o seem_v that_o even_o whether_o she_o will_v or_o no_o they_o shut_v the_o gate_n of_o all_o her_o sense_n up_o to_o the_o end_n that_o she_o may_v so_o the_o better_a enjoy_v her_o lord_n and_o that_o now_o since_o she_o remain_v all_o alone_a with_o he_o what_o can_v she_o have_v to_o do_v but_o to_o love_v he_o she_o neither_o can_v see_v nor_o hear_v unless_o she_o be_v make_v to_o do_v so_o as_o it_o be_v by_o very_o strong_a hand_n and_o therefore_o there_o be_v little_a for_o which_o to_o thank_v she_o her_o former_a life_n grow_v then_o to_o be_v represent_v to_o she_o with_o perfect_a truth_n together_o with_o the_o great_a mercy_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o all_o this_o occurr_n to_o she_o without_o any_o necessity_n at_o all_o that_o her_o understanding_n shall_v now_o go_v hunt_v after_o it_o for_o there_o do_v she_o already_o find_v all_o this_o kind_n of_o food_n ready_a dress_v for_o she_o to_o understand_v and_o eat_v of_o herself_o she_o see_v very_o well_o that_o she_o deserve_v hellfire_n and_o that_o now_o in_o stead_n thereof_o they_o give_v she_o no_o other_o punishment_n than_o glory_n and_o therefore_o she_o do_v now_o even_o consume_v herself_o in_o the_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o now_o will_v i_o be_v glad_a even_o to_o consume_v myself_o so_o bless_a be_v thou_o o_o
may_v not_o happen_v to_o i_o as_o it_o do_v to_o lucifer_n who_o lose_v all_o by_o his_o own_o fault_n do_v not_o permit_v this_o o_o my_o lord_n i_o humble_o pray_v thou_o even_o by_o all_o that_o which_o thou_o be_v for_o it_o be_v no_o small_a fear_n which_o i_o have_v sometime_o though_o yet_o at_o other_o time_n yea_o and_o usual_o the_o mercy_n of_o almighty_a god_n give_v i_o a_o very_a confident_a hope_n that_o since_o he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o draw_v i_o out_o of_o so_o many_o sin_n he_o will_v not_o forsake_v i_o so_o now_o as_o to_o let_v i_o be_v lose_v and_o this_o do_v i_o humble_o pray_v your_o reverence_n that_o you_o will_v ever_o desire_v in_o my_o behalf_n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o think_v that_o those_o precedent_a favour_n be_v not_o so_o very_o great_a as_o this_o which_o i_o will_v now_o apply_v myself_o to_o relate_v and_o that_o for_o many_o reason_n &_o many_o blessing_n also_o and_o in_o particular_a for_o that_o great_a courage_n &_o strength_n which_o have_v still_o remain_v in_o i_o upon_o that_o account_n and_o therefore_o if_o those_o former_a may_v be_v consider_v every_o one_o by_o itself_o this_o other_o which_o i_o be_o go_v to_o relate_v will_v be_v find_v to_o be_v so_o very_o great_a as_o that_o there_o will_v be_v no_o comparison_n at_o all_o between_o they_o i_o be_v one_o day_n and_o the_o same_o fall_v out_o to_o be_v upon_o the_o vigil_n of_o pentecost_n or_o whitsuntide_n after_o mass_n and_o i_o go_v to_o a_o more_o remote_a place_n where_o i_o often_o use_v to_o pray_v and_o i_o begin_v to_o read_v in_o a_o certain_a book_n of_o this_o feast_n which_o have_v be_v write_v by_o a_o carthusian_n and_o meet_v there_o with_o those_o sign_n which_o both_o beginner_n and_o proficient_n and_o perfect_a soul_n use_v to_o have_v and_o how_o they_o may_v come_v to_o understand_v whether_o the_o holie-ghost_n do_v inhabit_v their_o heart_n or_o no_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o have_v read_v these_o three_o state_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o almighty_a god_n through_o his_o goodness_n do_v not_o leave_v or_o fail_v to_o be_v present_a with_o i_o after_o a_o particular_a manner_n for_o as_o much_o as_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o understand_v and_o whilst_o i_o be_v praise_v his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o that_o blessing_n i_o remember_v that_o i_o have_v read_v the_o same_o thing_n former_o when_o i_o want_v very_o much_o of_o that_o condition_n of_o mind_n and_o then_o i_o see_v that_o i_o want_v it_o as_o plain_o as_o now_o i_o understand_v the_o direct_a contrary_n concern_v myself_o but_o thus_o i_o come_v to_o know_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v do_v i_o and_o from_o thence_o i_o grow_v also_o to_o consider_v the_o place_n which_o my_o soul_n have_v deserve_v in_o hell_n for_o my_o sin_n and_o i_o give_v great_a praise_n to_o almighty_a god_n in_o regard_n that_o now_o i_o think_v my_o soul_n be_v so_o extreme_o change_v that_o i_o can_v hardly_o almost_o conceive_v it_o to_o be_v the_o very_a selfsame_a thing_n which_o it_o have_v be_v before_o be_v then_o in_o this_o consideration_n there_o come_v a_o great_a impulse_n or_o impetuositie_n upon_o i_o without_o my_o be_v able_a to_o understand_v the_o occasion_n thereof_o i_o think_v my_o very_a soul_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o get_v instant_o out_o of_o my_o body_n for_o now_o she_o can_v not_o possible_o contain_v herself_o any_o long_o nor_o find_v she_o herself_o at_o that_o time_n to_o be_v able_a to_o stay_v any_o long_o here_o in_o the_o painful_a expectation_n of_o so_o great_a a_o good_n now_o this_o be_v so_o excessive_a a_o impulse_n or_o impetuositie_n that_o i_o can_v not_o possible_o tell_v even_o what_o to_o do_v with_o myself_o nor_o so_o much_o as_o what_o i_o ail_v so_o extreme_o be_v i_o grow_v to_o be_v in_o disorder_n and_o though_o i_o be_v sit_v then_o yet_o be_v i_o not_o able_a even_o to_o sit_v and_o so_o i_o apply_v myself_o a_o little_a to_o lean_v for_o i_o find_v that_o all_o my_o natural_a force_n begin_v to_o fail_v i_o but_o perceave_v myself_o to_o be_v in_o this_o case_n i_o see_v a_o dove_n upon_o my_o own_o head_n but_o such_o a_o dove_n as_o be_v very_o different_a from_o they_o of_o this_o world_n for_o she_o have_v not_o of_o our_o kind_n of_o feather_n but_o the_o wing_n be_v as_o of_o certain_a little_a shell_n which_o dar_v a_o huge_a splendour_n from_o themselves_o this_o dove_n be_v much_o great_a than_o any_o ordinary_a dove_n and_o i_o thought_n i_o hear_v a_o noise_n which_o she_o make_v with_o her_o wing_n for_o she_o be_v flutter_v about_o the_o space_n of_o a_o aut_fw-la maria._n but_o my_o soul_n be_v already_o in_o such_o condition_n that_o grow_v to_o loose_v herself_o she_o also_o lose_v the_o sight_n of_o the_o dove_n my_o spirit_n do_v then_o begin_v to_o quiet_v itself_o upon_o the_o entertain_n of_o such_o a_o guest_n as_o she_o have_v get_v though_o yet_o for_o my_o part_n i_o imagine_v that_o so_o 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