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perfect_a and_o lest_o a_o very_a great_a part_n thereof_o fall_v out_o to_o have_v some_o what_o of_o the_o sensual_a in_o it_o and_o let_v this_o child_n be_v still_v by_o some_o regalo_n or_o other_o of_o love_n which_o may_v induce_v it_o to_o exercise_v and_o express_v the_o love_n itself_o which_o he_o also_o bear_v by_o a_o moregentle_a and_o sweet_a kind_n of_o way_n and_o not_o thus_o as_o it_o be_v by_o go_v to_o cuff_n but_o let_v they_o go_v retire_v that_o very_a love_n of_o they_o into_o the_o more_o inward_a part_n
may_v not_o happen_v to_o i_o as_o it_o do_v to_o lucifer_n who_o lose_v all_o by_o his_o own_o fault_n do_v not_o permit_v this_o o_o my_o lord_n i_o humble_o pray_v thou_o even_o by_o all_o that_o which_o thou_o be_v for_o it_o be_v no_o small_a fear_n which_o i_o have_v sometime_o though_o yet_o at_o other_o time_n yea_o and_o usual_o the_o mercy_n of_o almighty_a god_n give_v i_o a_o very_a confident_a hope_n that_o since_o he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o draw_v i_o out_o of_o so_o many_o sin_n he_o will_v not_o forsake_v i_o so_o now_o as_o to_o let_v i_o be_v lose_v and_o this_o do_v i_o humble_o pray_v your_o reverence_n that_o you_o will_v ever_o desire_v in_o my_o behalf_n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o think_v that_o those_o precedent_a favour_n be_v not_o so_o very_o great_a as_o this_o which_o i_o will_v now_o apply_v myself_o to_o relate_v and_o that_o for_o many_o reason_n &_o many_o blessing_n also_o and_o in_o particular_a for_o that_o great_a courage_n &_o strength_n which_o have_v still_o remain_v in_o i_o upon_o that_o account_n and_o therefore_o if_o those_o former_a may_v be_v consider_v every_o one_o by_o itself_o this_o other_o which_o i_o be_o go_v to_o relate_v will_v be_v find_v to_o be_v so_o very_o great_a as_o that_o there_o will_v be_v no_o comparison_n at_o all_o between_o they_o i_o be_v one_o day_n and_o the_o same_o fall_v out_o to_o be_v upon_o the_o vigil_n of_o pentecost_n or_o whitsuntide_n after_o mass_n and_o i_o go_v to_o a_o more_o remote_a place_n where_o i_o often_o use_v to_o pray_v and_o i_o begin_v to_o read_v in_o a_o certain_a book_n of_o this_o feast_n which_o have_v be_v write_v by_o a_o carthusian_n and_o meet_v there_o with_o those_o sign_n which_o both_o beginner_n and_o proficient_n and_o perfect_a soul_n use_v to_o have_v and_o how_o they_o may_v come_v to_o understand_v whether_o the_o holie-ghost_n do_v inhabit_v their_o heart_n or_o no_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o have_v read_v these_o three_o state_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o almighty_a god_n through_o his_o goodness_n do_v not_o leave_v or_o fail_v to_o be_v present_a with_o i_o after_o a_o particular_a manner_n for_o as_o much_o as_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o understand_v and_o whilst_o i_o be_v praise_v his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o that_o blessing_n i_o remember_v that_o i_o have_v read_v the_o same_o thing_n former_o when_o i_o want_v very_o much_o of_o that_o condition_n of_o mind_n and_o then_o i_o see_v that_o i_o want_v it_o as_o plain_o as_o now_o i_o understand_v the_o direct_a contrary_n concern_v myself_o but_o thus_o i_o come_v to_o know_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v do_v i_o and_o from_o thence_o i_o grow_v also_o to_o consider_v the_o place_n which_o my_o soul_n have_v deserve_v in_o hell_n for_o my_o sin_n and_o i_o give_v great_a praise_n to_o almighty_a god_n in_o regard_n that_o now_o i_o think_v my_o soul_n be_v so_o extreme_o change_v that_o i_o can_v hardly_o almost_o conceive_v it_o to_o be_v the_o very_a selfsame_a thing_n which_o it_o have_v be_v before_o be_v then_o in_o this_o consideration_n there_o come_v a_o great_a impulse_n or_o impetuositie_n upon_o i_o without_o my_o be_v able_a to_o understand_v the_o occasion_n thereof_o i_o think_v my_o very_a soul_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o get_v instant_o out_o of_o my_o body_n for_o now_o she_o can_v not_o possible_o contain_v herself_o any_o long_o nor_o find_v she_o herself_o at_o that_o time_n to_o be_v able_a to_o stay_v any_o long_o here_o in_o the_o painful_a expectation_n of_o so_o great_a a_o good_n now_o this_o be_v so_o excessive_a a_o impulse_n or_o impetuositie_n that_o i_o can_v not_o possible_o tell_v even_o what_o to_o do_v with_o myself_o nor_o so_o much_o as_o what_o i_o ail_v so_o extreme_o be_v i_o grow_v to_o be_v in_o disorder_n and_o though_o i_o be_v sit_v then_o yet_o be_v i_o not_o able_a even_o to_o sit_v and_o so_o i_o apply_v myself_o a_o little_a to_o lean_v for_o i_o find_v that_o all_o my_o natural_a force_n begin_v to_o fail_v i_o but_o perceave_v myself_o to_o be_v in_o this_o case_n i_o see_v a_o dove_n upon_o my_o own_o head_n but_o such_o a_o dove_n as_o be_v very_o different_a from_o they_o of_o this_o world_n for_o she_o have_v not_o of_o our_o kind_n of_o feather_n but_o the_o wing_n be_v as_o of_o certain_a little_a shell_n which_o dar_v a_o huge_a splendour_n from_o themselves_o this_o dove_n be_v much_o great_a than_o any_o ordinary_a dove_n and_o i_o thought_n i_o hear_v a_o noise_n which_o she_o make_v with_o her_o wing_n for_o she_o be_v flutter_v about_o the_o space_n of_o a_o aut_fw-la maria._n but_o my_o soul_n be_v already_o in_o such_o condition_n that_o grow_v to_o loose_v herself_o she_o also_o lose_v the_o sight_n of_o the_o dove_n my_o spirit_n do_v then_o begin_v to_o quiet_v itself_o upon_o the_o entertain_n of_o such_o a_o guest_n as_o she_o have_v get_v though_o yet_o for_o my_o part_n i_o imagine_v that_o so_o wondrous_a a_o encounter_n and_o accident_n as_o that_o be_v may_v well_o have_v disquiet_v and_o fright_v it_o but_o she_o begin_v already_o to_o enjoy_v lay_v quick_o all_o fear_n aside_o and_o together_o with_o the_o self_n same_o joy_n grow_v to_o have_v quietness_n withal_o but_o yet_o still_o remain_v in_o the_o rapt_v now_o the_o glory_n of_o this_o rapt_v be_v extreme_o great_a and_o i_o remain_v during_o the_o most_o part_n of_o the_o whole_a festivitie_n of_o pentecost_n so_o stun_v and_o even_o as_o it_o be_v besort_a and_o befool_v that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o dot_v with_o myself_o nor_o be_v i_o able_a by_o any_o mean_n to_o understand_v how_o so_o high_a and_o great_a a_o favour_n as_o this_o be_v can_v possible_o find_v a_o rest_a place_n in_o i_o i_o neither_o hear_v nor_o see_v in_o effect_n by_o reason_n of_o the_o great_a excess_n of_o my_o interior_a joy_n i_o understand_v how_o from_o that_o day_n forward_o my_o soul_n remain_v with_o a_o very_a great_a increase_n of_o improvement_n by_o enjoy_v a_o more_o sublime_a love_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o that_o my_o virtue_n also_o have_v gain_v a_o great_a increase_n of_o strength_n now_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v and_o praise_v for_o all_o eternity_n amen_n i_o see_v also_o at_o another_o time_n the_o same_o dove_n upon_o the_o head_n of_o a_o certain_a father_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n save_o that_o i_o think_v both_o the_o beam_n and_o the_o brightness_n of_o the_o very_a wing_n do_v spread_v and_o extend_v themselves_o much_o further_o and_o it_o be_v give_v i_o then_o to_o understand_v that_o he_o be_v to_o win_v soul_n to_o god_n another_o time_n i_o see_v our_o bless_a lady_n put_v a_o white_a long_a garment_n upon_o the_o back_n of_o a_o certain_a graduate_n of_o the_o same_o order_n of_o who_o i_o have_v speak_v former_o diverse_a time_n and_o she_o tell_v i_o that_o she_o have_v give_v he_o that_o mantle_n for_o have_v assist_v in_o the_o business_n of_o this_o house_n and_o that_o his_o soul_n shall_v be_v defend_v and_o preserve_v for_o the_o future_a in_o such_o purity_n as_o that_o he_o shall_v not_o fall_v into_o mortal_a sinne._n and_o i_o assure_v myself_o it_o prove_v so_o for_o he_o die_v within_o few_o year_n after_o yea_o and_o he_o do_v both_o line_n and_o die_v with_o so_o great_a per_n nance_n and_o sanctity_n that_o there_o can_v be_v no_o doubt_n thereof_o for_o any_o thing_n that_o we_o be_v able_a to_o understand_v and_o a_o certain_a religious_a man_n who_o have_v be_v at_o his_o death_n tell_v i_o that_o s._n thomas_n of_o aquin_n have_v be_v with_o he_o and_o that_o he_o die_v both_o with_o great_a joy_n and_o with_o desire_n also_o to_o be_v deliver_v from_o this_o bannishment_n wherein_o he_o be_v since_o that_o time_n he_o have_v appear_v to_o i_o in_o very_a much_o glory_n and_o tell_v i_o diverse_a thing_n he_o be_v a_o man_n of_o so_o great_a prayer_n that_o when_o a_o little_a before_o he_o die_v he_o will_v glad_o have_v forbear_v the_o exercise_n thereof_o through_o his_o great_a weakness_n he_o be_v not_o able_a to_o do_v it_o for_o even_o then_o he_o have_v many_o rapt_n he_o write_v to_o i_o a_o little_a before_o he_o die_v about_o what_o course_n i_o think_v he_o be_v best_a to_o take_v for_o help_v because_o ever_o as_o soon_o as_o he_o have_v do_v mass_n he_o use_v to_o fall_v into_o rapt_n which_o will_v last_v long_o without_o his_o be_v able_a to_o forbear_v they_o but_o our_o lord_n give_v he_o at_o length_n the_o reward_n of_o the_o great_a service_n he_o have_v do_v he_o during_o his_o whole_a life_n of_o
vision_n which_o the_o soul_n have_v see_v but_o so_o also_o do_v she_o her_o best_a to_o resist_v the_o vexation_n which_o he_o give_v she_o though_o then_o she_o be_v so_o disquiet_v and_o disorder_v even_o by_o this_o very_a diligence_n that_o she_o lose_v that_o devotion_n and_o gust_n which_o she_o have_v before_o and_o remain_v also_o without_o any_o prayer_n at_o all_o this_o happen_v to_o i_o three_z or_o four_o time_n in_o the_o beginning_n as_o i_o be_v say_v but_o this_o of_o the_o false_a vision_n be_v so_o very_o different_a a_o kind_n of_o thing_n from_o the_o other_o that_o whosoever_o have_v arrive_v to_o the_o only_o prayer_n of_o quiet_a will_n i_o believe_v understand_v this_o business_n by_o the_o very_a effect_n which_o have_v be_v speak_v of_o in_o that_o discourse_n which_o concern_v those_o word_n or_o speech_n which_o sometime_o be_v impart_v to_o and_o imprint_v in_o the_o soul_n and_o i_o hold_v this_o assertion_n to_o be_v a_o most_o certain_a thing_n and_o unless_o a_o soul_n shall_v have_v even_o a_o kind_n of_o mind_n to_o be_v abuse_v and_o deceive_v i_o believe_v the_o devil_n will_v not_o be_v able_a to_o do_v it_o if_o she_o walk_v with_o humility_n and_o simplicity_n that_o be_v with_o sincerity_n of_o mind_n whosoever_o i_o say_v have_v receive_v any_o true_a vision_n from_o almighty_a god_n will_v instant_o perceive_v and_o judge_v fancy_n of_o another_o which_o be_v contrary_a and_o false_a for_o though_o any_o such_o false_a one_o may_v begin_v to_o give_v a_o kind_n of_o regalo_n and_o gust_n yet_o the_o soul_n will_v shake_v that_o off_o and_o beside_o in_o my_o opinion_n the_o gust_n will_v be_v even_o different_a in_o itself_o and_o not_o carry_v so_o much_o as_o a_o appearance_n of_o a_o love_n which_o be_v pure_a and_o chaste_a it_o grow_v to_o be_v soon_o discover_v from_o whence_o it_o come_v so_o that_o wheresoever_o there_o be_v any_o experience_n the_o devil_n will_v not_o be_v able_a to_o do_v any_o soul_n hurt_v in_o this_o kind_n but_o now_o that_o all_o this_o kind_n of_o vision_n shall_v be_v be_v but_o a_o mere_a imagination_n or_o conceit_n be_v clear_o and_o entire_o a_o impossible_a thing_n and_o have_v no_o colour_n at_o all_o for_o the_o high_a beauty_n and_o fairness_n of_o one_o only_o hand_n do_v absolute_o outstripp_v all_o imagination_n and_o beside_o without_o our_o ever_o have_v think_v of_o any_o such_o object_n or_o reflect_v upon_o any_o one_o of_o this_o kind_n to_o see_v such_o thing_n present_a and_o all_o at_o a_o instant_n which_o can_v never_o have_v be_v so_o fit_v and_o adiu_v by_o the_o imagination_n of_o man_n in_o regard_n that_o it_o be_v so_o mighty_o of_o a_o superior_a kind_n as_o i_o have_v say_v from_o that_o which_o we_o be_v able_a to_o comprehend_v in_o this_o world_n it_o must_v also_o be_v impossible_a for_o the_o aforesaid_a reason_n and_o yet_o though_o we_o can_v do_v somewhat_o of_o this_o kind_n not_o withstand_v all_o that_o which_o be_v say_v it_o will_v yet_o not_o be_v possible_o do_v upon_o this_o other_o reason_n which_o i_o will_v now_o declare_v for_o if_o we_o shall_v represent_v any_o such_o thing_n in_o the_o strength_n of_o our_o own_o understanding_n beside_o that_o it_o will_v not_o have_v any_o such_o great_a operation_n as_o this_o true_a vision_n have_v nor_o indeed_o will_v it_o in_o effect_n have_v any_o at_o all_o it_o will_v be_v at_o the_o most_o but_o as_o one_o who_o will_v very_o fain_o grow_v to_o sleep_v whereas_o yet_o he_o shall_v indeed_o be_v awake_a because_o he_o can_v yet_o fall_v asleep_a but_o if_o he_o desire_v to_o sleep_v and_o have_v need_n of_o it_o and_o withal_o have_v any_o infirmity_n or_o weakness_n in_o his_o head_n which_o forbid_v it_o he_o yet_o procure_v of_o himself_o to_o get_v into_o a_o slumber_n and_o use_v all_o his_o diligence_n in_o order_n to_o that_o end_n and_o sometime_o he_o even_o half_a think_v that_o he_o do_v somewhat_o but_o still_o if_o in_o very_a deed_n it_o be_v not_o true_a and_o real_a sleep_n it_o will_v not_o sustain_v he_o nor_o give_v strength_n to_o his_o head_n nay_o rather_o it_o will_v sometime_o fall_v out_o to_o be_v so_o much_o the_o more_o idle_a and_o just_o so_o be_v it_o also_o partly_o in_o this_o case_n for_o then_o will_v the_o soul_n grow_v empty_a and_o idle_a and_o not_o be_v sustain_v and_o strong_a but_o rather_o disorder_v and_o disgu_v whereas_o in_o the_o other_o former_a case_n of_o we_o it_o be_v pass_v any_o power_n of_o i_o to_o declare_v what_o treasure_n be_v acquire_v when_o not_o only_o the_o soul_n be_v enrich_v but_o even_o the_o body_n also_o itself_o get_v temper_n and_o health_n now_o this_o reason_n with_o other_o do_v i_o allege_v when_o they_o tell_v i_o sometime_o that_o those_o thing_n be_v of_o the_o devil_n and_o at_o other_o time_n that_o i_o do_v but_o fancy_v they_o to_o myself_o and_o this_o happen_v often_o to_o i_o and_o i_o will_v also_o be_v bring_v certain_a comparison_n the_o best_a i_o can_v and_o our_o lord_n make_v i_o light_n upon_o they_o but_o yet_o all_o serve_v i_o still_o to_o little_a purpose_n for_o there_o be_v very_o holy_a person_n in_o that_o place_n and_o i_o be_v even_o misery_n itself_o in_o comparison_n of_o they_o and_o our_o lord_n not_o guide_v they_o by_o this_o way_n they_o will_v instant_o be_v grow_v into_o fear_n that_o my_o sin_n in_o all_o appearance_n be_v the_o mean_n to_o produce_v those_o effect_n and_o so_o it_o go_v up_o and_o down_o from_o one_o to_o another_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o they_o come_v to_o be_v acquaint_v with_o these_o secret_n of_o i_o though_o for_o my_o part_n i_o discover_v they_o to_o no_o creature_n but_o only_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n or_o to_o such_o as_o he_o direct_v i_o to_o impart_v they_o but_o i_o remember_v i_o say_v to_o they_o once_o that_o if_o they_o who_o tell_v i_o these_o thing_n have_v relate_v to_o i_o that_o some_o person_n with_o who_o i_o have_v be_v much_o acquaint_v and_o with_o who_o i_o have_v speak_v but_o very_o then_o have_v not_o yet_o be_v that_o person_n indeed_o but_o that_o i_o have_v only_o fancy_v it_o to_o myself_o and_o that_o they_o know_v it_o for_o certain_a i_o shall_v without_o all_o doubt_n have_v much_o more_o easy_o believe_v they_o than_o even_o the_o very_a thing_n which_o i_o see_v but_o demonstration_n yet_o now_o on_o the_o other_o side_n if_o that_o person_n have_v leave_v certain_a jewel_n with_o i_o and_o that_o they_o remain_v still_o in_o my_o hand_n as_o pawn_n of_o the_o great_a love_n he_o bear_v i_o and_o that_o former_o i_o have_v be_v the_o owner_n of_o no_o such_o jewel_n whereas_o now_o i_o see_v i_o be_v rich_a who_o before_o have_v be_v so_o poor_a i_o shall_v then_o not_o be_v able_a to_o believe_v they_o even_o though_o i_o desire_v it_o especial_o when_o i_o can_v show_v these_o jewel_n of_o i_o to_o other_o for_o every_o body_n know_v i_o well_o enough_o and_o they_o see_v clear_o that_o my_o soul_n be_v grow_v to_o be_v another_o kind_n of_o thing_n then_o before_o and_o so_o i_o tell_v i_o own_o ghostly_a father_n for_o the_o difference_n be_v come_v to_o be_v great_a in_o many_o kind_n and_o not_o in_o any_o doubtful_a or_o disguiseable_a manner_n but_o so_o as_o that_o all_o creature_n may_v discern_v it_o clear_o and_o i_o remember_v also_o that_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o say_v that_o i_o can_v not_o tell_v how_o to_o believe_v that_o the_o devil_n will_v do_v this_o to_o deceive_v i_o and_o how_o since_o he_o will_v be_v glad_a to_o carry_v i_o away_o with_o he_o to_o hell_n he_o can_v serve_v himself_o of_o this_o mean_n which_o be_v so_o very_a contrary_n to_o his_o own_o end_n namely_o to_o roote-out_a vice_n and_o to_o plant_v virtue_n and_o strength_n of_o spirit_n in_o place_n thereof_o for_o i_o find_v and_o that_o very_o clear_o that_o i_o grow_v once_o at_o a_o instant_n to_o be_v whole_o another_o creature_n than_o i_o be_v before_o my_o ghostly_a father_n as_o i_o 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and_o wonder_v when_o the_o clock_n strike_v and_o so_o find_v that_o it_o be_v two_o hour_n wherein_o i_o have_v remain_v in_o rapt_v and_o glory_n i_o be_v amaze_v after_o this_o to_o know_v how_o by_o approach_v so_o near_o to_o this_o fire_n which_o seem_v to_o come_v from_o above_o out_o of_o the_o true_a love_n of_o almighty_a god_n it_o be_v yet_o in_o no_o power_n of_o i_o at_o all_o to_o get_v the_o least_o spark_n thereof_o but_o only_o when_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o impart_v it_o for_o how_o much_o soever_o i_o desire_v it_o and_o how_o earnest_o soever_o i_o procure_v it_o and_o will_v defeat_v and_o even_o destroy_v myself_o for_o it_o there_o be_v yet_o no_o mean_n at_o all_o to_o obtain_v it_o but_o now_o this_o rapt_v of_o i_o seem_v even_o to_o have_v consume_v the_o fault_n and_o lukewarmnesse_n and_o misery_n of_o the_o old_a man_n as_o the_o phoenix_n be_v say_v to_o do_v herself_o out_o of_o who_o ash_n when_o she_o be_v burn_v spring_v another_o phoenix_n for_o just_a so_o do_v a_o soul_n become_v absolute_o a_o other_o kind_n of_o thing_n with_o desire_n whole_o different_a and_o with_o a_o courage_n so_o increase_v that_o now_o she_o seem_v not_o to_o be_v what_o she_o be_v before_o but_o now_o begin_v to_o walk_v with_o a_o new_a kind_n of_o purity_n in_o the_o way_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o i_o just_a then_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o it_o may_v prove_v to_o be_v so_o in_o my_o case_n and_o that_o i_o may_v now_o at_o least_o begin_v as_o upon_o a_o new_a account_n to_o do_v he_o service_n he_o speak_v these_o word_n to_o i_o thou_o have_v make_v a_o good_a comparison_n and_o see_v that_o thou_o forget_v it_o not_o that_o so_o thou_o may_v ever_o procure_v to_o improve_v thyself_o and_o be_v once_o in_o the_o selfsame_a doubt_n whereof_o i_o speak_v even_o now_o whether_o these_o vision_n be_v of_o god_n or_o no_o our_o lord_n appear_v and_o speak_v these_o word_n to_o i_o with_o some_o rigour_n how_o long_o o_o you_o son_n of_o man_n will_v you_o continue_v to_o be_v hard_o of_o hart_n and_o he_o also_o will_v i_o then_o to_o examine_v myself_o well_o upon_o this_o one_o interrogatory_n whether_o i_o be_v entire_o give_v to_o he_o for_o his_o or_o no_o and_o that_o if_o i_o be_v give_v so_o and_o be_v so_o i_o shall_v believe_v that_o he_o will_v not_o suffer_v i_o to_o be_v lose_v and_o whereas_o i_o afflict_v myself_o much_o upon_o his_o utter_v that_o exclamation_n aforesaid_a he_o return_v with_o great_a tenderness_n and_o regalo_n and_o tell_v i_o that_o he_o will_v not_o have_v i_o afflict_v myself_o and_o that_o he_o know_v already_o that_o i_o for_o my_o part_n will_v not_o fail_v to_o apply_v myself_o whole_o to_o that_o which_o may_v be_v for_o his_o service_n and_o that_o so_o he_o will_v also_o do_v all_o that_o which_o i_o desire_v of_o he_o against_o illusion_n and_o so_o he_o be_v please_v to_o do_v that_o thing_n in_o particular_a which_o then_o i_o humble_o beg_v at_o his_o hand_n for_o he_o will_v i_o to_o look_v in_o upon_o the_o love_n which_o go_v increase_a daily_a in_o i_o for_o thereby_o i_o may_v best_o understand_v that_o the_o devil_n have_v no_o part_n in_o it_o and_o that_o i_o must_v not_o think_v almighty_a god_n will_v consent_v that_o the_o devil_n shall_v have_v so_o much_o power_n over_o the_o soul_n of_o his_o servant_n as_o to_o be_v able_a to_o give_v i_o such_o a_o claritie_n of_o understanding_n together_o with_o such_o a_o depth_n of_o repose_n of_o mind_n as_o i_o possess_v and_o he_o give_v i_o also_o further_o to_o understand_v that_o such_o and_o so_o many_o man_n have_v tell_v i_o that_o these_o visitation_n be_v of_o almighty_a god_n i_o shall_v do_v ill_a if_o i_o do_v not_o believe_v they_o be_v also_o another_o time_n in_o prayer_n upon_o s._n athanasius_n creed_n of_o quicumque_fw-la vult_fw-la &c_n &c_n i_o be_v give_v to_o understand_v the_o manner_n how_o there_o be_v one_o only_o god_n and_o three_o person_n and_o this_o in_o so_o perspicuous_a and_o clear_v a_o kind_n that_o i_o be_v no_o less_o comfort_v by_o it_o then_o amaze_v at_o it_o this_o also_o do_v i_o very_o much_o good_a towards_o the_o give_v i_o increase_v of_o knowledge_n concern_v the_o greatness_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o of_o his_o wonder_n and_o for_o all_o such_o occasion_n also_o as_o wherein_o i_o think_v of_o the_o bless_a trinity_n or_o hear_v speech_n thereof_o and_o now_o i_o think_v i_o conceive_v how_o all_o that_o mystery_n stand_v very_o well_o and_o it_o content_v i_o much_o one_o day_n upon_o the_o assumption_n of_o our_o b._n lady_n the_o queen_n of_o the_o angel_n our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o the_o favour_n in_o a_o certain_a rapt_v that_o her_o rise_n up_o into_o heaven_n be_v represent_v to_o i_o together_o with_o the_o solemnity_n and_o joy_n of_o that_o celestial_a court_n wherewith_o she_o be_v receive_v as_o also_o the_o place_n which_o she_o hold_v to_o tell_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n this_o be_v i_o be_o no_o way_n able_a the_o glory_n which_o even_o my_o spirit_n have_v to_o see_v that_o she_o be_v so_o great_a be_v even_o extreme_a and_o i_o remain_v with_o great_a effect_n and_o improvement_n by_o it_o towards_o a_o wish_n of_o undergo_n yet_o great_a affliction_n for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o so_o it_o also_o give_v i_o increase_v of_o desire_n to_o serve_v our_o b._n lady_n since_o both_o her_o dignity_n and_o merit_n be_v so_o great_a and_o be_v one_o day_n in_o a_o college_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n and_o the_o brother_n of_o that_o house_n be_v then_o in_o act_n of_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n i_o see_v a_o very_a rich_a canopy_n over_o their_o head_n and_o this_o at_o two_o several_a time_n but_o yet_o when_o other_o communicate_v there_o i_o see_v it_o not_o the_o fourti_v chapter_n she_o proceed_v in_o the_o same_o discourse_n by_o relate_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n show_v she_o whereby_o good_a instruction_n be_v to_o be_v get_v and_o with_o the_o end_n of_o this_o chapter_n she_o end_v also_o the_o discourse_n of_o her_o life_n be_v once_o in_o prayer_n the_o delight_n and_o gust_n which_o i_o feel_v within_o myself_o be_v so_o great_a and_o i_o find_v myself_o so_o unworthy_a of_o so_o high_a a_o favour_n that_o i_o begin_v upon_o that_o occasion_n to_o consider_v how_o much_o better_o i_o have_v deserve_v to_o possess_v that_o place_n in_o hell_n which_o be_v prepare_v for_o i_o for_o i_o can_v never_o forget_v in_o what_o manner_n i_o have_v see_v myself_o
i_o have_v to_o converse_v with_o they_o but_o our_o lord_n do_v ever_o counsel_v i_o in_o all_o thing_n yea_o so_o far_o as_o even_o to_o tell_v i_o how_o i_o shall_v carry_v myself_o towards_o weak_a person_n and_o some_o other_o also_o and_o he_o never_o lay_v the_o care_n of_o i_o aside_o but_o i_o be_o much_o trouble_v to_o find_v that_o i_o be_o good_a for_o so_o little_a in_o his_o service_n as_o also_o that_o i_o can_v do_v the_o less_o through_o my_o spend_v more_o time_n than_o i_o wiâ—h_v upon_o so_o weak_a and_o waste_v a_o body_n as_o i_o be_v as_o i_o be_v once_o in_o prayer_n and_o the_o hour_n of_o our_o go_v to_o rest_n come_v on_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o pain_n and_o know_v that_o my_o ordinary_a vomit_n will_v arrive_v and_o obserue_v myself_o to_o be_v so_o tyed-up_a to_o these_o care_n and_o the_o spirit_n on_o the_o other_o side_n desit_v to_o have_v some_o time_n for_o itself_o i_o grow_v to_o be_v even_o so_o tire_v that_o i_o begin_v to_o be_v great_o afflict_v and_o to_o weep_v much_o and_o that_o happen_v very_o often_o to_o i_o and_o this_o condition_n put_v i_o to_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o anger_n that_o i_o think_v i_o do_v in_o those_o time_n even_o abhor_v myself_o though_o yet_o it_o be_v true_a withal_o that_o i_o do_v not_o abhor_v myself_o indeed_o nor_o yet_o be_o want_v in_o what_o be_v necessary_a for_o i_o and_o i_o rather_o pray_v god_n that_o i_o take_v not_o more_o care_n of_o myself_o than_o i_o shall_v and_o so_o i_o fear_v i_o do_v but_o now_o whilst_o i_o be_v in_o this_o grief_n our_o lord_n appear_v to_o i_o and_o regale_v i_o very_o much_o and_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o must_v endure_v these_o trouble_n and_o goe-through_a with_o they_o for_o love_n of_o he_o and_o that_o my_o life_n be_v necessary_a yet_o and_o so_o i_o think_v i_o never_o see_v myself_o in_o any_o very_a great_a pain_n which_o i_o value_v since_o i_o resolve_v to_o serve_v this_o lord_n and_o comforter_n of_o i_o with_o all_o my_o power_n for_o though_o he_o permit_v i_o to_o suffer_v a_o little_a yet_o will_v he_o still_o be_v assist_v i_o so_o withal_o that_o i_o esteem_v not_o myself_o to_o do_v much_o in_o desire_v to_o suffer_v affliction_n for_o his_o sake_n so_o that_o now_o i_o think_v there_o be_v no_o reason_n why_o we_o shall_v even_o desire_v so_o much_o as_o to_o live_v but_o only_o to_o the_o end_n that_o we_o may_v suffer_v and_o according_o this_o be_v the_o thing_n which_o i_o beg_v with_o most_o affection_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o sometime_o i_o be_o say_v to_o he_o with_o my_o whole_a hart_n o_o lord_n let_v i_o either_o suffer_v or_o die_v for_o i_o beg_v no_o other_o thing_n of_o thou_o for_o myself_o and_o now_o it_o use_v to_o comfort_v i_o to_o hear_v the_o clock_n strike_v for_o so_o i_o think_v i_o be_o grow_v a_o little_a near_o to_o the_o see_v of_o god_n though_o it_o be_v but_o a_o little_a because_o one_o hour_n more_o of_o my_o life_n be_v past_a at_o other_o time_n i_o find_v myself_o in_o such_o sort_n that_o i_o neither_o take_v much_o pleasure_n in_o live_v nor_o yet_o i_o think_v have_v any_o great_a mind_n to_o die_v and_o so_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o remain_v with_o a_o kind_n of_o stupidity_n and_o darkness_n of_o mind_n in_o all_o thing_n and_o many_o time_n i_o also_o have_v some_o trouble_n and_o since_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o those_o favour_n shall_v be_v public_o know_v which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o show_v i_o as_o he_o himself_o have_v tell_v i_o some_o year_n ago_o that_o they_o shall_v be_v which_o give_v i_o vexation_n enough_o and_o it_o be_v not_o a_o little_a that_o i_o have_v endure_v therein_o as_o your_o reverence_n know_v for_o every_o body_n will_v understand_v thing_n as_o he_o list_n i_o comfort_v myself_o yet_o with_o this_o that_o it_o have_v not_o arrive_v by_o my_o fault_n because_o i_o never_o speak_v of_o any_o such_o thing_n but_o either_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n or_o other_o 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bless_a lord_n to_o reduce_v many_o soul_n by_o this_o mean_n and_o because_o i_o see_v clear_o and_o remember_v continual_o how_o much_o himself_o will_v be_v please_v to_o endure_v for_o the_o gain_n of_o one_o soul_n i_o allow_v myself_o to_o take_v little_a trouble_n for_o any_o thing_n which_o man_n can_v say_v of_o i_o and_o i_o know_v not_o whether_o or_o no_o this_o may_v not_o have_v be_v a_o part_n of_o the_o cause_n why_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v place_v i_o in_o this_o little_a corner_n of_o the_o world_n where_o i_o be_o so_o shut_v up_o and_o where_o i_o think_v there_o will_v be_v no_o more_o memory_n of_o i_o then_o of_o a_o thing_n which_o be_v dead_a but_o their_o forgerfulnes_n be_v not_o so_o great_a as_o i_o wish_v and_o so_o i_o have_v be_v constrain_v to_o speak_v sometime_o with_o some_o person_n yet_o howsoever_o i_o be_o not_o now_o where_o the_o world_n may_v easy_o see_v i_o for_o it_o seem_v that_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o drive_v i_o from_o sea_n to_o this_o port_n and_o i_o trust_v in_o his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o it_o will_v prove_v a_o very_a safe_a one_o for_o i_o and_o since_o now_o i_o be_o out_o of_o the_o world_n and_o find_v myself_o in_o the_o company_n of_o few_o but_o they_o holy_a creature_n i_o look_v down_o upon_o the_o world_n as_o from_o a_o place_n which_o be_v very_o high_a and_o so_o it_o be_v grow_v to_o be_v of_o little_a moment_n with_o i_o what_o they_o below_o do_v either_o say_v or_o think_v and_o i_o will_v make_v much_o more_o account_n to_o understand_v that_o any_o one_o soul_n shall_v have_v profit_v to_o the_o weight_n of_o one_o little_a grain_n in_o god_n service_n by_o my_o mean_n then_o of_o all_o which_o can_v be_v say_v of_o i_o in_o any_o kind_n for_o since_o i_o have_v find_v myself_o in_o this_o place_n our_o lord_n have_v be_v gracious_o please_v that_o all_o the_o desire_n of_o my_o hart_n may_v have_v no_o other_o aim_n but_o this_o and_o he_o have_v also_o give_v i_o even_o a_o kind_n of_o sleep_n in_o this_o life_n which_o make_v i_o find_v that_o whatsoever_o i_o see_v be_v but_o dream_v nor_o be_o i_o able_a to_o say_v that_o i_o reap_v either_o much_o contentment_n or_o trouble_v by_o any_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n and_o if_o yet_o some_o thing_n give_v i_o any_o it_o pass_v away_o with_o so_o very_o great_a speed_n that_o i_o even_o wonder_v at_o it_o and_o it_o make_v but_o just_a such_o a_o kind_n of_o impression_n upon_o i_o as_o a_o thing_n will_v do_v whereof_o i_o have_v dream_v and_o it_o be_v a_o most_o perfect_a truth_n that_o although_o i_o shall_v afterward_o have_v a_o piece_n of_o a_o mind_n either_o to_o be_v glad_a of_o any_o contentment_n or_o to_o be_v sorry_a for_o any_o mis-accident_n and_o trouble_v it_o be_v real_o no_o more_o now_o in_o my_o power_n but_o just_a so_o as_o any_o man_n who_o be_v discreet_a will_v take_v either_o trouble_n or_o joy_n from_o a_o dream_n of_o his_o own_o for_o now_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v already_o be_v please_v to_o awake_v and_o open_v the_o eye_n of_o my_o soul_n from_o out_o of_o that_o folly_n wherein_o it_o be_v and_o whereas_o by_o my_o not_o be_v mortify_v nor_o dead_a to_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n i_o be_v wont_a to_o have_v much_o feel_n of_o such_o thing_n as_o happen_v his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v now_o that_o i_o shall_v loose_v my_o true_a sight_n no_o more_o in_o this_o sort_n sir_n do_v i_o live_v now_o and_o i_o
no_o mean_n lose_v myself_o outright_o my_o father_n and_o my_o sister_n be_v much_o trouble_v about_o this_o friendship_n of_o i_o and_o reprove_v i_o for_o it_o very_o often_o but_o yet_o they_o be_v unable_a to_o remove_v the_o occasion_n of_o her_o come_n to_o we_o at_o time_n their_o diligence_n be_v ever_o wont_a to_o fall_v short_a for_o my_o sagacity_n &_o sharp_a conceit_n in_o contrive_v any_o thing_n which_o may_v be_v ill_a be_v very_o great_a i_o be_o sometime_o upon_o this_o occasion_n in_o a_o wonder_n at_o how_o much_o hurt_n ill_a company_n may_v do_v and_o if_o it_o have_v not_o be_v my_o own_o case_n i_o can_v hardly_o believe_v it_o especial_o when_o it_o occurr_n in_o the_o time_n of_o innocent_a and_o fresh_a youth_n for_o then_o do_v it_o great_a hurt_n and_o i_o can_v wish_v that_o parent_n will_v take_v some_o warning_n by_o i_o that_o so_o they_o may_v consider_v it_o well_o for_o the_o truth_n be_v that_o this_o conversation_n do_v work_v such_o a_o entire_a change_n upon_o i_o that_o i_o who_o former_o have_v not_o only_o a_o soul_n but_o even_o a_o kind_n of_o natural_a constitution_n incline_v to_o virtue_n be_v grow_v to_o have_v in_o effect_n no_o semblance_n or_o sign_n at_o all_o thereof_o and_o it_o seem_v that_o both_o she_o and_o yet_o another_o who_o be_v upon_o the_o matter_n of_o the_o same_o humour_n have_v imprint_v their_o own_o condition_n upon_o i_o from_o hence_o also_o i_o be_o grow_v to_o understand_v how_o precious_a a_o thing_n good_a company_n be_v and_o i_o hold_v it_o for_o as_o good_a as_o a_o most_o certain_a truth_n that_o if_o in_o that_o age_n of_o i_o i_o have_v converse_v with_o only_o virtuous_a person_n myself_o shall_v have_v prove_v accomplish_v in_o the_o way_n of_o virtue_n and_o that_o if_o in_o those_o tender_a year_n i_o have_v meet_v with_o such_o as_o will_v have_v make_v it_o their_o business_n to_o make_v i_o fear_v almighty_a god_n my_o soul_n will_v have_v gather_v such_o strength_n as_o may_v have_v keep_v it_o from_o fall_v but_o afterward_o this_o fear_n of_o god_n grow_v to_o be_v lose_v the_o care_n only_o of_o my_o honour_n remain_v which_o give_v i_o a_o kind_n of_o torment_n in_o whatsoever_o i_o do_v but_o now_o with_o think_v that_o such_o and_o such_o thing_n will_v never_o be_v know_v i_o presume_v to_o do_v many_o which_o be_v both_o against_o my_o honour_n and_o against_o god_n in_o the_o beginning_n those_o thing_n do_v i_o harm_n as_o i_o be_o apt_a to_o think_v though_o yet_o perhaps_o that_o happen_v not_o by_o the_o fault_n of_o other_o but_o by_o my_o own_o but_o afterward_o my_o own_o malice_n fall_v out_o to_o be_v sufficient_a for_o my_o own_o mischief_n together_o with_o the_o help_n of_o my_o maid_n who_o be_v ready_a enough_o for_o any_o thing_n that_o be_v naught_o if_o any_o one_o of_o they_o have_v but_o advise_v i_o well_o it_o will_v have_v serve_v my_o turn_n but_o interest_n blind_v they_o as_o my_o inclination_n do_v i_o and_o though_o i_o never_o be_v addict_v to_o much_o ill_n for_o even_o natural_o i_o abhor_v such_o thing_n as_o concern_v dishonesty_n yet_o i_o like_v to_o pass_v my_o time_n in_o fair_a conversation_n but_o be_v afterward_o grow_v into_o the_o occasion_n the_o danger_n be_v near_a at_o hand_n and_o that_o bring_v also_o my_o father_n and_o my_o brother_n into_o some_o but_o god_n deliver_v i_o out_o of_o they_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o it_o well_o appear_v how_o he_o be_v please_v to_o procure_v even_o against_o my_o will_n to_o preserve_v i_o from_o my_o total_a perdition_n though_o yet_o still_o thing_n can_v not_o be_v carry_v so_o private_o as_o that_o my_o honour_n do_v not_o suffer_v prejudice_n by_o it_o even_o abroad_o beside_o a_o little_a suspicion_n of_o my_o father_n at_o home_n for_o i_o remember_v not_o that_o they_o arrive_v to_o be_v three_o month_n of_o my_o walk_n up_o and_o down_o in_o these_o vanity_n when_o they_o carry_v i_o to_o a_o certain_a monastery_n in_o this_o town_n where_o they_o be_v wont_a to_o give_v education_n to_o such_o as_o i_o be_v though_o yet_o not_o so_o untoward_a as_o myself_o but_o it_o be_v do_v with_o great_a discretion_n and_o reserve_v for_o only_o i_o and_o a_o kinsman_n of_o i_o know_v of_o it_o and_o they_o stay_v a_o while_n for_o a_o certain_a coniuncture_n of_o thing_n to_o keep_v it_o from_o seem_v new_a or_o strange_a for_o my_o sister_n be_v then_o late_o marry_v and_o so_o it_o will_v not_o seem_v so_o very_o handsome_a that_o i_o shall_v stay_v at_o home_n alone_o without_o a_o mother_n the_o love_n which_o my_o father_n bear_v i_o be_v so_o extreme_a and_o so_o also_o be_v my_o dissimulation_n that_o he_o can_v not_o believe_v so_o much_o ill_o of_o i_o as_o i_o deserve_v and_o therefore_o i_o be_v not_o fall_v into_o his_o disfavour_v for_o the_o time_n have_v be_v but_o short_a though_o perhaps_o he_o may_v happen_v to_o hear_v of_o some_o little_a whisper_v yet_o it_o can_v never_o be_v deliver_v to_o he_o with_o any_o certainty_n in_o regard_n that_o i_o have_v so_o tender_a a_o care_n of_o myself_o in_o point_n of_o honour_n all_o my_o diligence_n be_v employ_v upon_o keep_v thing_n secret_a and_o i_o consider_v not_o the_o while_n how_o impossible_a a_o thing_n it_o be_v to_o hide_v any_o thing_n from_o he_o by_o who_o all_o thing_n be_v see_v o_o my_o god_n what_o a_o mischief_n do_v it_o bring_v upon_o the_o world_n to_o make_v light_n of_o this_o and_o to_o think_v that_o such_o thing_n can_v be_v secret_a as_o be_v repugnant_a to_o thy_o will_n for_o my_o part_n i_o hold_v it_o for_o certain_a that_o many_o great_a sin_n will_v be_v forbear_v if_o once_o we_o will_v grow_v to_o understand_v that_o the_o business_n do_v not_o consist_v in_o save_v ourselves_o harmless_a from_o man_n but_o in_o keep_v ourselves_o very_o far_o from_o digust_v almighty_a god_n during_o the_o first_o eight_o day_n of_o my_o be_v in_o the_o monastery_n i_o feit_z it_o much_o even_o for_o itself_o but_o yet_o more_o for_o the_o suspicion_n i_o have_v that_o my_o vanity_n be_v discover_v then_o for_o that_o i_o be_v place_v there_o for_o now_o already_o i_o become_v weary_a of_o do_v ill_a and_o i_o fail_v not_o to_o have_v great_a fear_n of_o almighty_a god_n whensoever_o i_o offend_v he_o and_o i_o procure_v to_o confess_v myself_o often_o but_o after_o those_o eight_o day_n yea_o &_o peradventure_o soon_o i_o grow_v to_o be_v better_o please_v there_o then_o even_o in_o my_o own_o father_n house_n all_o the_o religious_a be_v glad_a to_o be_v in_o my_o company_n for_o in_o this_o our_o lord_n endue_v i_o with_o a_o particular_a grace_n that_o i_o always_o give_v contentment_n wheresoever_o i_o be_v and_o so_o i_o use_v ever_o to_o be_v much_o belove_v and_o though_o i_o be_v at_o that_o time_n in_o extremity_n of_o be_v averse_a from_o become_v a_o religious_a woman_n yet_o i_o joy_v to_o see_v so_o good_a religious_a woman_n as_o they_o be_v after_o a_o eminent_a proportion_n in_o that_o house_n and_o of_o great_a purity_n and_o observance_n and_o recollection_n but_o yet_o notwithstanding_o all_o this_o the_o devil_n give_v not_o over_o to_o tempt_v i_o and_o he_o find_v out_o such_o person_n from_o abroad_o as_o may_v disquiet_v i_o with_o certain_a message_n of_o they_o but_o in_o regard_n there_o be_v no_o great_a opportunity_n for_o those_o thing_n they_o quick_o cease_v and_o my_o soul_n begin_v again_o to_o accustom_v itself_o to_o the_o good_a impression_n of_o my_o first_o youth_n and_o i_o see_v how_o great_a favour_n almighty_a god_n do_v they_o who_o he_o cast_v into_o their_o company_n who_o be_v good_a and_o it_o seem_v as_o if_o the_o divine_a majesty_n have_v go_v look_v and_o yet_o look_v again_o by_o what_o mean_v he_o may_v bring_v i_o back_o to_o himself_o bless_a be_v thou_o o_o lord_n who_o do_v endure_v i_o so_o long_o amen_n one_o particular_a there_o be_v which_o it_o seem_v may_v turn_v a_o little_a to_o my_o excuse_n if_o i_o have_v not_o be_v guilty_a of_o so_o many_o fault_n and_o it_o be_v that_o the_o conversation_n which_o i_o hold_v be_v with_o one_o who_o by_o way_n of_o marriage_n seem_v to_o make_v it_o probable_a to_o end_v well_o and_o i_o inform_v myself_o about_o it_o of_o my_o confessarius_fw-la and_o of_o other_o also_o with_o who_o i_o consult_v in_o many_o thing_n they_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o offend_v not_o almighty_a god_n but_o now_o one_o of_o the_o religious_a be_v lodge_v where_o we_o who_o be_v secular_a person_n be_v also_o accommodate_v and_o it_o seem_v that_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o
also_o with_o have_v begin_v so_o to_o use_v prayer_n as_o that_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o carry_v my_o pain_n with_o much_o conformity_n to_o his_o holy_a will_n the_o conversation_n of_o my_o hart_n be_v whole_o with_o he_o and_o i_o carry_v these_o word_n of_o job_n very_o usual_o both_o in_o my_o thought_n and_o in_o my_o mouth_n since_o we_o have_v receive_v blessing_n and_o benefit_n at_o the_o hand_n of_o our_o lord_n why_o shall_v we_o not_o also_o suffer_v affliction_n and_o i_o conceive_v that_o this_o help_v to_o give_v i_o courage_n at_o length_n come_v the_o feast_n of_o our_o b._n lady_n in_o august_n for_o till_o then_o from_o the_o april_n before_o have_v my_o torment_n continue_v though_o yet_o it_o have_v be_v great_a in_o the_o three_o last_o month_n i_o than_o make_v haste_n to_o go_v to_o confession_n for_o i_o ever_o take_v much_o contentment_n to_o confess_v often_o my_o friend_n think_v that_o it_o be_v fear_n of_o death_n which_o invite_v i_o to_o be_v so_o devout_a and_o so_o to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v put_v into_o apprehension_n my_o father_n will_v not_o let_v i_o confess_v o_o inordinate_a and_o irregular_a love_n of_o flesh_n and_o blood_n since_o though_o i_o have_v so_o catholic_n a_o father_n and_o so_o full_a of_o prudence_n and_o consideration_n in_o all_o his_o action_n which_o even_o abound_v in_o he_o for_o this_o can_v not_o be_v a_o effect_n of_o ignorance_n yet_o he_o may_v have_v do_v i_o hurt_n enough_o by_o this_o mean_n that_o night_n i_o fall_v into_o such_o a_o trance_n as_o continue_v to_o keep_v i_o near_o four_o day_n without_o the_o use_n almost_o of_o any_o of_o my_o sense_n and_o short_o they_o come_v to_o give_v i_o the_o sacrament_n of_o extreme_a unction_n and_o every_o hour_n or_o rather_o every_o moment_n it_o be_v expect_v when_o i_o shall_v expire_v they_o be_v as_o diligent_a in_o say_v the_o creed_n devil_n in_o my_o hear_n as_o if_o i_o have_v understand_v they_o yea_o sometime_o they_o hold_v i_o for_o so_o certain_o to_o be_v dead_a that_o afterward_o i_o find_v the_o drop_n of_o the_o holy_a candle_n wax-candle_n about_o my_o eye_n the_o affliction_n of_o my_o father_n be_v great_a for_o his_o not_o have_v permit_v i_o to_o go_v to_o confession_n many_o outcry_n and_o many_o prayer_n be_v make_v to_o almighty_a god_n for_o i_o and_o bless_v be_v he_o who_o be_v please_v to_o hear_v they_o for_o the_o grave_n remain_v open_a in_o the_o church_n of_o my_o monastery_n a_o day_n and_o a_o half_a where_o my_o body_n be_v expect_v to_o be_v inter_v and_o my_o funeral_n have_v be_v already_o celebrate_v by_o the_o religious_a man_n of_o our_o order_n in_o another_o town_n where_o it_o be_v conceive_v that_o i_o be_v dead_a our_o lord_n be_v yet_o please_v at_o length_n that_o i_o shall_v teturne_v to_o myself_o and_o so_o instant_o i_o will_v needs_o go_v to_o confession_n i_o receive_v also_o the_o b._n sacrament_n with_o many_o tear_n though_o yet_o in_o my_o opinion_n they_o be_v not_o shed_v with_o that_o sense_n and_o grief_n for_o only_o my_o have_v offend_v almighty_a god_n which_o may_v have_v serve_v to_o save_v my_o soul_n if_o the_o error_n into_o which_o i_o be_v bring_v by_o they_o who_o have_v tell_v i_o that_o they_o be_v not_o matter_n of_o mortal_a sin_n which_o afterward_o i_o see_v plain_o that_o they_o be_v may_v not_o serve_v my_o turn_n for_o the_o torment_n wherewith_o i_o remain_v be_v intolerable_a and_o my_o understanding_n not_o very_o sharp_a but_o rather_o dull_a though_o yet_o as_o i_o conceive_v my_o confession_n be_v entire_a of_o all_o thing_n whereby_o i_o may_v think_v that_o i_o have_v offend_v god_n for_o this_o mercy_n do_v his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o allow_v i_o among_o other_o that_o after_o i_o have_v once_o begin_v to_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n i_o never_o omit_v to_o confess_v any_o thing_n which_o i_o conceive_v to_o be_v a_o sin_n though_o it_o be_v but_o venial_a though_o 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that_o he_o may_v rather_o consume_v i_o quite_o then_o that_o i_o shall_v ever_o leave_v to_o love_v he_o more_o the_o six_o chapter_n she_o treat_v of_o how_o much_o she_o owe_v our_o b._n lord_n for_o his_o give_v she_o conformity_n to_o his_o holy_a will_n in_o so_o great_a affliction_n and_o how_o she_o take_v the_o glorious_a s._n joseph_n for_o her_o intercessor_n and_o how_o advantageous_a that_o devotion_n prove_v to_o be_v i_o remain_v during_o those_o four_o day_n of_o agony_n or_o trance_n in_o such_o state_n that_o only_o our_o b._n lord_n be_v able_a to_o know_v the_o unsufferable_a torment_n which_o i_o feel_v in_o myself_o my_o tongue_n be_v deep_o bite_v by_o i_o in_o many_o place_n my_o throat_n with_o have_v take_v nothing_o and_o by_o reason_n also_o of_o my_o very_a great_a weakness_n can_v not_o swallow_v so_o much_o as_o a_o drop_n of_o water_n without_o choke_v i_o thought_n i_o be_v total_o disjoint_v and_o my_o head_n in_o extreme_a disorder_n i_o be_v also_o as_o it_o be_v all_o roll_a up_o and_o contract_v as_o if_o i_o have_v be_v a_o bottom_n of_o packthridd_n for_o in_o this_o do_v the_o torment_n of_o those_o day_n fix_v themselves_o without_o my_o be_v able_a once_o to_o stir_v either_o hand_n or_o foot_n arm_n or_o head_n unless_o they_o move_v i_o any_o more_o then_o as_o if_o i_o have_v be_v dead_a only_o i_o think_v i_o be_v able_a to_o wag_n one_o single_v finger_fw-la of_o my_o right_a hand_n now_o for_o any_o body_n to_o touch_v i_o in_o any_o kind_n there_o be_v no_o mean_n at_o all_o for_o my_o whole_a person_n be_v so_o affect_v and_o afflict_a as_o that_o there_o be_v no_o endure_v to_o have_v it_o touch_v in_o a_o sheet_n they_o will_v be_v remove_v i_o now_o and_o then_o according_a to_o the_o occasion_n with_o one_o at_o one_o end_n thereof_o &_o another_o at_o the_o other_o and_o this_o last_v till_o easter_n only_o this_o i_o have_v by_o way_n of_o ease_n that_o if_o i_o be_v not_o approach_v and_o touch_v these_o torment_n will_v be_v cease_v many_o time_n and_o then_o upon_o the_o account_n of_o my_o be_v in_o less_o pain_n i_o be_v content_a to_o affirm_v myself_o to_o be_v well_o but_o indeed_o i_o be_v much_o afraid_a lest_o my_o patience_n shall_v begin_v to_o fail_v i_o and_o therefore_o i_o be_v not_o a_o little_a please_v to_o find_v myself_o without_o those_o sharp_a and_o continual_a torment_n though_o yet_o i_o have_v they_o after_o a_o unsupportable_a manner_n together_o with_o a_o very_a great_a detestation_n of_o food_n whilst_o i_o have_v those_o fierce_a cold_n which_o indeed_o
who_o we_o know_v we_o be_v belove_v and_o as_o for_o you_o if_o you_o love_v he_o not_o yet_o for_o to_o the_o end_n that_o it_o may_v be_v a_o true_a love_n and_o that_o your_o friendship_n may_v last_v the_o condition_n must_v be_v reciprocal_a and_o we_o know_v there_o can_v be_v no_o want_n on_o our_o lord_n behalf_n and_o that_o our_o nature_n be_v vicious_a sensual_a and_o ungrateful_a and_o so_o we_o can_v perhaps_o obtain_v full_o at_o our_o own_o hand_n to_o love_v he_o so_o much_o because_o he_o be_v not_o of_o the_o same_o condition_n with_o we_o yet_o consider_v how_o much_o it_o import_v we_o to_o hold_v friendship_n with_o he_o and_o how_o much_o he_o love_v we_o we_o must_v pass_v on_o and_o pass_v over_o this_o pain_n of_o be_v much_o in_o his_o company_n who_o be_v of_o so_o different_a a_o condition_n from_o we_o o_o infinite_a goodness_n of_o my_o god_n how_o true_a it_o be_v that_o i_o think_v i_o see_v both_o thou_o and_o myself_o in_o this_o very_a manner_n o_o thou_o who_o be_v the_o very_a regalo_n of_o the_o angel_n in_o heaven_n how_o fain_o will_v i_o even_o defeat_v and_o dissolve_v myself_o total_o in_o love_v thou_o when_o i_o see_v and_o consider_v these_o thing_n and_o how_o certain_a a_o thing_n it_o be_v that_o thou_o be_v on_o the_o suffer_a hand_n in_o regard_n of_o such_o as_o will_v not_o suffer_v thou_o to_o remain_v with_o they_o o_o how_o good_a a_o friend_n do_v thou_o make_v thyself_o to_o thy_o friend_n o_o my_o lord_n and_o how_o do_v thou_o go_v endure_v he_o and_o regal_v he_o and_o thou_o expect_v till_o he_o make_v himself_o grow_v to_o be_v of_o thy_o condition_n and_o inclination_n and_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n thou_o endure_v and_o permit_v he_o to_o continue_v to_o be_v a_o while_n of_o his_o own_o and_o thou_o take_v o_o my_o dear_a lord_n by_o way_n of_o good_a payment_n those_o fit_n of_o time_n which_o he_o can_v be_v content_a to_o bestow_v upon_o thou_o and_o upon_o a_o minute_n of_o true_a sorrow_n and_o 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i_o be_v wont_a to_o do_v and_o for_o recompense_n of_o this_o violence_n which_o they_o use_v to_o make_v against_o themselves_o by_o continue_v in_o so_o good_a company_n as_o thou_o for_o neither_o in_o those_o very_a beginning_n no_o nor_o even_o afterward_o also_o for_o a_o while_n can_v they_o tell_v how_o to_o do_v better_o thou_o force_v o_o lord_n the_o devil_n of_o hell_n to_o forbear_v a_o set_v fierce_o upon_o they_o and_o permit_v they_o to_o have_v daily_o less_o power_n than_o other_o against_o they_o yea_o and_o thou_o put_v they_o into_o man_n hand_n that_o they_o may_v overcome_v they_o so_o that_o thou_o o_o thou_o life_n of_o all_o life_n do_v never_o kill_v any_o one_o of_o those_o creature_n who_o put_v his_o confidence_n in_o thou_o nor_o of_o they_o who_o desire_v thou_o for_o a_o friend_n but_o thou_o sustain_v both_o the_o life_n of_o their_o body_n with_o increase_n of_o health_n and_o thou_o also_o do_v impart_v it_o to_o the_o soul_n for_o my_o part_n i_o 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little_a and_o it_o have_v be_v see_v that_o god_n have_v give_v i_o more_o then_o be_v usual_o possess_v by_o woman_n but_o that_o i_o have_v employ_v it_o ill_o to_o force_v myself_o to_o make_v my_o prayer_n and_o in_o fine_a it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o assist_v i_o but_o afterward_o when_o i_o have_v use_v these_o violence_n to_o my_o hart_n i_o find_v myself_o with_o more_o quiet_a &_o delight_n so_o that_o sometime_o i_o grow_v to_o have_v a_o express_a desire_n to_o pray_v now_o therefore_o since_o it_o chance_v that_o our_o lord_n do_v suffer_v and_o endure_v so_o wicked_a a_o creature_n as_o myself_o and_o if_o it_o appear_v plain_o that_o all_o my_o misery_n be_v redress_v by_o this_o mean_n what_o person_n how_o wicked_a soever_o he_o may_v be_v can_v find_v any_o thing_n to_o be_v afraid_a of_o here_o for_o how_o wicked_a soever_o any_o other_o body_n may_v have_v be_v he_o will_v never_o be_v so_o yet_o after_o the_o enjoy_n of_o so_o great_a favour_n from_o our_o b._n lord_n as_o i_o have_v receive_v and_o who_o can_v ever_o come_v to_o disconfide_a in_o his_o divine_a majesty_n who_o have_v patience_n with_o i_o so_o long_o upon_o this_o only_o reason_n because_o i_o desire_v and_o procure_v some_o mean_n for_o time_n and_o place_n wherein_o he_o may_v be_v with_o i_o and_o even_o this_o little_a thing_n i_o do_v often_o without_o any_o inclination_n of_o my_o own_o but_o only_o by_o the_o great_a violence_n which_o either_o i_o offer_v to_o myself_o or_o else_o be_v offer_v to_o i_o by_o our_o lord_n since_o praemise_n therefore_o the_o use_n of_o mental_a prayer_n be_v so_o fit_a yea_o and_o so_o very_o necessary_a even_o for_o such_o as_o serve_v not_o god_n but_o offend_v he_o and_o since_o no_o body_n can_v true_o find_v any_o such_o hurt_n which_o it_o can_v possible_o do_v as_o will_v not_o be_v much_o great_a without_o prayer_n at_o least_o how_o can_v such_o forbear_v it_o as_o serve_v almighty_a god_n and_o desire_v to_o serve_v he_o most_o certain_o unless_o a_o man_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o pass_v through_o the_o trouble_n &_o misery_n of_o this_o life_n with_o a_o addition_n of_o more_o misery_n and_o to_o shut_v up_o the_o very_a gate_n against_o god_n himself_o for_o fear_n lest_o he_o shall_v give_v he_o comfort_n by_o this_o mean_n i_o can_v possible_o understand_v this_o proceed_n of_o he_o i_o have_v real_o great_a compassion_n and_o sorrow_n for_o those_o poor_a soul_n who_o will_v needs_o serve_v almighty_a god_n upon_o their_o own_o cost_n for_o as_o for_o they_o who_o use_v mental_a prayer_n
thing_n for_o by_o mean_n of_o such_o blessing_n as_o these_o do_v our_o lord_n impart_v that_o fortitude_n to_o we_o which_o we_o lose_v by_o our_o sin_n and_o he_o shall_v but_o unlucky_o desire_v and_o exhort_v a_o man_n to_o despise_v and_o abhor_v the_o world_n and_o encourage_v he_o to_o acquire_v all_o those_o great_a virtue_n which_o christian_n of_o high_a perfection_n use_v to_o possess_v if_o he_o be_v not_o uphold_v therein_o by_o a_o livelie_a faith_n and_o by_o his_o have_v also_o feel_v some_o assurance_n of_o the_o love_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o bear_v he_o for_o natural_o we_o be_v so_o very_o dead_a that_o we_o look_v not_o after_o any_o thing_n but_o that_o which_o we_o see_v at_o the_o present_a and_o so_o these_o very_a favour_n be_v the_o thing_n which_o awake_v &_o strengthen_v our_o faith_n i_o say_v not_o but_o that_o it_o may_v very_o well_o be_v that_o i_o be_v so_o very_o wicked_a be_o apt_a to_o judge_v of_o other_o by_o myself_o &_o that_o 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lord_n know_v very_o well_o that_o i_o pretend_v no_o other_o thing_n by_o this_o but_o only_o that_o he_o may_v be_v a_o little_a the_o more_o exalt_v and_o praise_v when_o you_o see_v that_o he_o will_v needs_o plant_v a_o garden_n of_o so_o sweet_a flower_n upon_o and_o in_o a_o dunghill_n so_o foul_a and_o filthy_a and_o of_o so_o very_o ill_a favour_n as_o i_o be_o i_o humble_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o i_o return_v not_o through_o my_o fault_n to_o pluck_v they_o all_o up_o by_o the_o root_n and_o so_o become_v again_o
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that_o it_o be_v not_o to_o walk_v on_o with_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n but_o rather_o like_o weak_a and_o cowardly_a people_n who_o dare_v not_o set_v upon_o difficulty_n and_o i_o say_v not_o this_o so_o much_o for_o they_o who_o be_v but_o beginner_n though_o yet_o i_o press_v it_o so_o far_o because_o it_o import_v very_o much_o that_o they_o begin_v with_o this_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n and_o resolution_n but_o even_o for_o other_o also_o for_o there_o be_v many_o who_o have_v already_o begin_v and_o yet_o who_o never_o in_o fine_a resolve_v upon_o do_v herein_o home_n what_o they_o ought_v and_o i_o believe_v that_o this_o proceed_v in_o great_a part_n from_o their_o not_o resolve_v to_o take_v up_o and_o carry_v this_o cross_n from_o the_o very_a beginning_n for_o such_o shall_v go_v on_o still_o afflict_v as_o conceave_a that_o all_o that_o be_v nothing_o which_o they_o do_v because_o when_o the_o understanding_n gives-ove_a to_o work_v and_o act_n they_o use_v not_o to_o be_v 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by_o serve_v god_n for_o one_o hour_n it_o may_v now_o be_v so_o for_o four_o and_o many_o time_n for_o i_o have_v very_o great_a experience_n of_o this_o case_n and_o know_v it_o to_o be_v true_a because_o i_o have_v both_o consider_v it_o with_o care_n and_o have_v also_o treat_v about_o it_o with_o spiritual_a person_n this_o grow_v even_o from_o our_o corporal_a indisposition_n for_o we_o be_v so_o very_o total_o infirm_a that_o this_o poor_a little_a wretched_a soul_n of_o we_o participate_v in_o the_o misery_n of_o the_o body_n and_o even_o the_o alteration_n of_o the_o weather_n and_o the_o revolution_n of_o their_o own_o natural_a humour_n be_v many_o time_n the_o occasion_n why_o without_o even_o any_o fault_n of_o their_o own_o they_o can_v well_o do_v even_o what_o they_o will_v but_o be_v fain_o to_o suffer_v thus_o in_o all_o kind_n and_o when_o they_o strive_v to_o force_v themselves_o in_o these_o coniuncture_n of_o time_n it_o prove_v to_o be_v so_o much_o the_o worse_o with_o they_o and_o the_o inconvenience_n will_v last_v so_o much_o the_o long_o but_o discretion_n must_v be_v use_v herein_o to_o weigh_v when_o this_o effect_n proceed_v from_o this_o cause_n and_o they_o must_v not_o oppress_v and_o stifle_v this_o poor_a soul_n but_o understand_v and_o consider_v that_o it_o be_v sick_a let_v the_o hour_n of_o prayer_n in_o god_n name_n be_v change_v yea_o and_o many_o time_n it_o will_v be_v fit_a to_o do_v so_o for_o some_o day_n and_o let_v they_o pass_v through_o this_o bannishment_n of_o they_o as_o well_o as_o they_o can_v since_o it_o be_v misfortune_n and_o misery_n enough_o for_o a_o soul_n which_o do_v indeed_o love_v almighty_a god_n to_o see_v that_o she_o live_v in_o so_o great_a misery_n and_o that_o she_o be_v no_o way_n able_a to_o do_v even_o what_o herself_o desire_v in_o regard_n that_o she_o be_v lodge_v with_o so_o untoward_a and_o ill_o a_o host_n as_o this_o body_n be_v i_o say_v this_o be_v to_o be_v do_v with_o discretion_n because_o sometime_o the_o devil_n will_v be_v a_o cause_n of_o these_o thing_n and_o therefore_o it_o be_v good_a neither_o always_o to_o leave_v the_o usual_a &_o set_a time_n of_o prayer_n whensoever_o there_o may_v be_v great_a disturbance_n and_o distraction_n in_o the_o understanding_n nor_o yet_o always_o to_o stand_v torment_v the_o soul_n towards_o the_o make_n it_o do_v more_o than_o it_o can_v there_o be_v also_o other_o exterior_a work_n of_o charity_n &_o of_o read_v also_o which_o may_v be_v use_v though_o yet_o sometime_o the_o soul_n will_v not_o be_v so_o much_o as_o fit_a even_o for_o that_o but_o in_o that_o case_n let_v the_o mind_n be_v even_o subject_a as_o it_o be_v to_o the_o body_n for_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n since_o many_o other_o time_n the_o body_n serve_v the_o soul_n and_o let_v the_o party_n in_o such_o case_n take_v the_o entertainment_n and_o pastime_n of_o conversation_n with_o other_o so_o that_o it_o be_v holy_a or_o divert_v himself_o with_o go_v a_o little_a abroad_o to_o take_v the_o air_n as_o the_o ghostly_a father_n shall_v advise_v for_o experience_n be_v a_o great_a schoolmistress_n in_o all_o thing_n towards_o the_o give_v any_o one_o to_o understand_v what_o may_v be_v fit_a and_o almighty_a god_n be_v serve_v in_o all_o this_o business_n for_o his_o yoke_n be_v sweet_a and_o it_o be_v a_o thing_n of_o much_o importance_n that_o the_o soul_n be_v not_o servile_o drag_v as_o one_o may_v say_v but_o that_o it_o be_v carry_v sweet_o on_o towards_o the_o receive_n of_o more_o benefit_n and_o profit_n so_o that_o i_o advise_v again_o and_o again_o for_o though_o i_o say_v it_o often_o it_o will_v do_v no_o hurt_n because_o the_o matter_n import_v so_o much_o that_o no_o body_n be_v to_o afflict_v nor_o oppress_v himself_o either_o through_o dryness_n or_o disquiet_v or_o distraction_n of_o thought_n nor_o yet_o to_o go_v up_o and_o down_o with_o any_o such_o kind_n of_o tribulation_n if_o they_o pretend_v to_o gain_v liberty_n of_o spirit_n but_o let_v he_o once_o begin_v not_o to_o be_v in_o such_o a_o fright_n upon_o the_o sight_n of_o the_o cross_n and_o he_o shall_v see_v how_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v help_v he_o to_o bear_v it_o and_o what_o contentment_n he_o will_v grow_v to_o have_v and_o how_o he_o will_v be_v able_a to_o make_v his_o profit_n of_o all_o thing_n for_o already_o we_o may_v sufficient_o perceive_v that_o if_o there_o be_v no_o spring_n of_o water_n in_o the_o well_o we_o know_v not_o how_o to_o put_v any_o there_o true_a it_o be_v that_o we_o must_v by_o no_o mean_n be_v negligent_a and_o careless_a but_o endeavour_v to_o draw_v it_o out_o if_o there_o be_v
for_o the_o make_v a_o little_a more_o prayer_n we_o shall_v outstripp_a they_o who_o yet_o be_v subject_a to_o so_o great_a penance_n bless_a be_v thou_o o_o lord_n who_o have_v make_v i_o so_o unprofitable_a and_o unuseful_a but_o yet_o i_o praise_v thou_o after_o a_o extraordinary_a manner_n in_o regard_n that_o thou_o awake_v so_o very_a many_o who_o may_v awake_v us._n and_o we_o shall_v do_v well_o to_o make_v very_o continual_a prayer_n for_o they_o who_o give_v we_o light_n for_o what_o will_v become_v of_o we_o without_o they_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o so_o great_a tempest_n as_o be_v now_o in_o the_o church_n if_o some_o man_n have_v be_v wicked_a the_o good_a will_v shine_v the_o bright_a by_o their_o mean_n i_o beseech_v our_o lord_n to_o hold_v they_o up_o with_o his_o hand_n that_o he_o may_v help_v such_o as_o help_v we_o amen_n i_o have_v travail_v far_o out_o of_o the_o way_n from_o that_o which_o i_o be_v go_v to_o say_v but_o all_o will_v serve_v the_o turn_n for_o beginner_n to_o the_o end_n that_o they_o may_v so_o put_v themselves_o upon_o this_o high_a way_n that_o it_o may_v also_o prove_v to_o they_o a_o true_a way_n return_v therefore_o to_o what_o i_o say_v of_o note_n meditate_v upon_o christ_n our_o lord_n at_o the_o pillar_n it_o be_v good_a to_o discourse_v a_o while_n and_o to_o think_v upon_o the_o pain_n which_o he_o feel_v there_o and_o why_o he_o feel_v it_o and_o who_o it_o be_v that_o feel_v it_o and_o the_o love_n wherewith_o he_o feel_v it_o yet_o let_v not_o the_o party_n weary_a himself_o by_o go_v about_o to_o seek_v all_o this_o but_o let_v he_o remain_v still_o there_o with_o a_o calm_a and_o quiet_a kind_n of_o understanding_n if_o he_o can_v let_v he_o employ_v himself_o upon_o consider_v who_o look_v upon_o he_o and_o let_v he_o accompany_v he_o and_o beg_v of_o he_o and_o humble_v himself_o before_o he_o and_o regale_n himself_o with_o he_o and_o in_o fine_a let_v he_o remember_v that_o our_o lord_n deserve_v not_o to_o be_v there_o whensoever_o you_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o do_v this_o though_o it_o shall_v fall_v out_o to_o be_v at_o the_o very_a beginning_n of_o your_o prayer_n you_o will_v find_v great_a benefit_n by_o it_o nay_o many_o benefit_n be_v acquire_v by_o this_o manner_n of_o prayer_n and_o at_o least_o my_o soul_n find_v it_o so_o i_o know_v not_o whether_o i_o hit_v right_a in_o declare_v myself_o but_o your_o reverence_n will_v consider_v of_o that_o and_o i_o beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n that_o i_o may_v hit_v right_a in_o everlasting_o please_v he_o amen_n the_o fourteenth_n chapter_n she_o begin_v to_o declare_v the_o second_o degree_n of_o prayer_n wherein_o our_o lord_n be_v already_o please_v to_o give_v the_o soul_n more_o particular_a gust_n which_o she_o relate_v to_o the_o end_n that_o she_o may_v make_v they_o be_v understand_v to_o be_v supernatural_a this_o discourse_n be_v very_o much_o to_o be_v note_v since_o now_o it_o be_v already_o declare_v with_o how_o much_o labour_n this_o orchard_n be_v water_v and_o how_o by_o the_o strength_n of_o the_o arm_n the_o water_n be_v to_o be_v get_v out_o of_o the_o well_o we_o must_v say_v somewhat_o of_o that_o second_o way_n of_o drawing-up_a this_o water_n which_o the_o lord_n of_o the_o garden_n have_v ordain_v that_o so_o by_o this_o artifice_n of_o the_o wheel_n with_o those_o little_a bucket_n which_o belong_v to_o it_o the_o gardener_n may_v draw_v out_o more_o water_n and_o with_o less_o trouble_n and_o may_v be_v able_a to_o rest_v now_o and_o then_o and_o not_o be_v continual_o in_o labour_n now_o this_o way_n be_v apply_v to_o prayer_n which_o be_v wont_a to_o be_v call_v quiet_a prayer_n be_v that_o whereof_o now_o i_o will_v treat_v the_o soul_n do_v here_o begin_v to_o recollect_v and_o as_o it_o be_v shut_v itself_o up_o and_o it_o touch_v a_o little_a here_o upon_o the_o supernatural_a because_o the_o power_n thereof_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n gain_v this_o for_o itself_o by_o all_o the_o diligence_n which_o it_o can_v possible_o use_v it_o be_v true_a that_o sometime_o she_o may_v seem_v to_o have_v wearled_a herself_o in_o go_v round_o about_o the_o turn_n and_o to_o have_v labour_v hard_o with_o the_o understanding_n and_o so_o to_o have_v filled-up_a the_o little_a buckett_n but_o here_o the_o water_n be_v growne-up_a to_o be_v high_a and_o so_o she_o labour_v much_o less_o than_o she_o do_v in_o draw_v it_o out_o of_o the_o well_o i_o say_v the_o water_n be_v grow_v near_o to_o she_o because_o grace_n give_v itself_o now_o to_o be_v more_o clear_o know_v by_o the_o soul_n this_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o recollect_v and_o as_o it_o be_v a_o shutting-up_a of_o the_o power_n of_o the_o soul_n into_o herself_o that_o so_o she_o may_v be_v able_a to_o enjoy_v the_o contentment_n which_o then_o she_o have_v with_o more_o gust_n but_o yet_o the_o use_n of_o the_o faculty_n be_v not_o lose_v nor_o do_v they_o sleep_v but_o only_o the_o will_n be_v employ_v and_o possess_v in_o such_o sort_n that_o it_o be_v grow_v to_o be_v captive_v though_o yet_o itself_o know_v not_o how_o only_a it_o give_v consent_v that_o almighty_a god_n may_v put_v it_o in_o prison_n as_o one_o who_o understand_v now_o very_o well_o how_o to_o let_v itself_o be_v make_v prisoner_n to_o who_o it_o love_v o_o my_o dear_a jesus_n and_o my_o lord_n of_o how_o much_o worth_n be_v thy_o love_n to_o we_o in_o this_o case_n since_o it_o hold_v our_o love_n fast_o in_o so_o strong_a chain_n that_o it_o leave_v we_o not_o even_o liberty_n at_o that_o instant_n to_o love_v any_o other_o thing_n than_o thyself_o the_o other_o two_o faculty_n which_o be_v the_o understanding_n and_o memory_n be_v then_o assist_v the_o will_n to_o the_o end_n that_o they_o may_v go_v enable_v it_o to_o enjoy_v so_o great_a a_o good_a although_o now_o and_o then_o it_o happen_v that_o howsoever_o they_o be_v even_o thus_o unite_v to_o the_o will_n they_o yet_o be_v apt_a enough_o sometime_o to_o dis-assist_a it_o much_o but_o in_o this_o case_n let_v not_o the_o will_v make_v any_o great_a account_n of_o that_o but_o remain_v still_o in_o her_o quietness_n and_o joy_n for_o mind_n if_o she_o shall_v persist_v in_o resolve_v to_o recollect_v those_o other_o faculty_n to_o herself_o both_o they_o and_o she_o will_v loose_v by_o the_o bargain_n for_o they_o be_v then_o as_o so_o many_o dove_n who_o content_v not_o themselves_o with_o the_o food_n or_o bait_n which_o the_o lord_n of_o the_o dove-house_n present_v without_o their_o labour_v for_o it_o but_o they_o go_v to_o seek_v it_o in_o other_o place_n though_o yet_o they_o soon_o grow_v to_o find_v it_o so_o bad_a that_o they_o quick_o return_v again_o and_o so_o come_v and_o go_v to_o see_v whether_o the_o will_n may_v be_v bring_v to_o bestow_v any_o part_n of_o that_o upon_o they_o which_o it_o enjoy_v and_o if_o our_o lord_n please_v to_o cast_v they_o any_o food_n they_o stay_v and_o if_o not_o they_o go_v again_o to_o seek_v it_o and_o all_o this_o while_n they_o conceive_v that_o they_o be_v even_o of_o use_n and_o benefit_n to_o the_o will_n itself_o though_o yet_o sometime_o both_o the_o memory_n and_o imagination_n even_o whilst_o they_o have_v a_o desire_n to_o represent_v that_o better_a to_o she_o which_o she_o enjoy_v fall_v out_o to_o do_v her_o hurt_n in_o stead_n of_o good_a let_v she_o therefore_o be_v content_a to_o carry_v herself_o so_o towards_o they_o as_o i_o shall_v here_o advise_v since_o all_o that_o which_o pass_v here_o be_v of_o extreme_a consolation_n and_o be_v obtain_v with_o so_o little_a labour_n that_o prayer_n never_o weary_v one_o here_o though_o it_o chance_v to_o last_v very_o long_o because_o the_o understanding_n go_v work_v now_o at_o great_a leisure_n and_o walk_v as_o it_o be_v foot_n by_o foot_n and_o brings-up_a another_o manner_n of_o quantity_n of_o water_n then_o former_o it_o draw_v out_o of_o the_o well_o and_o the_o tear_n which_o god_n give_v in_o this_o case_n come_v already_o with_o very_o great_a joy_n which_o howsoever_o we_o feel_v yet_o we_o procure_v they_o not_o this_o prayer_n water_n of_o the_o well_o which_o import_v the_o great_a blessing_n and_o favour_n which_o our_o bless_a lord_n show_v we_o here_o make_v our_o virtue_n increase_n incomparable_o more_o than_o that_o other_o of_o the_o former_a degree_n of_o prayer_n do_v because_o now_o the_o soul_n be_v already_o beginning_n to_o get_v up_o away_o from_o her_o own_o misery_n and_o already_o she_o grow_v to_o be_v allow_v to_o have_v some_o small_a notice_n even_o of_o the_o gust_n of_o glory_n and_o this_o i_o think_v make_v she_o thrive_v and_o
of_o quiet_a prayer_n she_o treat_v how_o many_o soul_n come_v to_o arrive_v to_o this_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o that_o few_o pass_v beyond_o it_o the_o particular_n which_o be_v touch_v here_o be_v not_o only_o very_o profitable_a but_o very_o necessary_a let_v we_o now_o return_v to_o our_o purpose_n this_o quietness_n and_o recollection_n of_o the_o soul_n be_v easy_o perceive_v by_o the_o satisfaction_n and_o peace_n which_o be_v infuse_v into_o she_o with_o a_o very_a great_a contentment_n and_o calmness_n of_o the_o power_n of_o the_o say_a soul_n together_o with_o a_o very_a great_a delight_n and_o now_o it_o seem_v to_o she_o because_o she_o be_v not_o come_v yet_o any_o further_a that_o already_o she_o have_v nothing_o leave_v to_o desire_v and_o that_o with_o a_o very_a good_a will_n she_o can_v make_v the_o same_o suit_n with_o s._n peter_n that_o her_o abode_n may_v be_v ever_o there_o she_o dare_v not_o stir_v or_o move_v nay_o she_o will_v hardly_o give_v herself_o 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i_o may_v never_o converse_v more_o with_o any_o creature_n or_o else_o final_o o_o lord_n give_v order_n that_o i_o may_v have_v nothing_o to_o do_v in_o this_o world_n or_o at_o least_o take_v i_o out_o of_o it_o quite_o for_o now_o already_o o_o my_o god_n this_o servant_n of_o thou_o be_v no_o long_o able_a to_o endure_v so_o great_a affliction_n as_o she_o feel_v to_o come_v upon_o she_o by_o her_o be_v thus_o without_o thou_o and_o if_o she_o needs_o must_v live_v she_o desire_v to_o have_v no_o ease_n in_o this_o life_n nor_o indeed_o do_v thou_o give_v she_o any_o for_o it_o be_v death_n to_o she_o to_o see_v herself_o eat_v she_o be_v afflict_v by_o the_o sleep_n she_o take_v she_o find_v that_o her_o whole_a life_n be_v spend_v and_o past_a through_o in_o regalo_n and_o yet_o that_o now_o there_o be_v nothing_o but_o thyself_o who_o can_v indeed_o regale_n she_o so_o that_o it_o seem_v i_o live_v now_o even_o against_o nature_n since_o now_o i_o will_v fain_o not_o live_v 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in_o their_o heart_n as_o the_o apostle_n be_v and_o so_o their_o flame_n falls-out_a to_o give_v but_o very_o little_a heat_n i_o say_v not_o that_o i_o expect_v that_o it_o shall_v be_v so_o great_a as_o they_o be_v but_o yet_o i_o hearty_o wish_v that_o it_o be_v great_a than_o i_o can_v now_o find_v it_o be_v your_o reverence_n know_v in_o what_o very_o much_o will_v consist_v namely_o in_o have_v this_o life_n of_o we_o in_o detestation_n and_o honour_n in_o very_o little_a estimation_n and_o that_o rather_o than_o fail_v both_o to_o speak_v truth_n and_o to_o maintain_v it_o for_o the_o glory_n of_o almighty_a god_n we_o will_v be_v as_o well_o content_v to_o loose_v all_o as_o to_o gain_v all_o for_o whosoever_o be_v resolve_v in_o very_o good_a earnest_n to_o put_v it_o all_o to_o hazard_v for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v be_v as_o well_o content_a with_o the_o one_o as_o with_o the_o other_o i_o say_v not_o that_o i_o be_o any_o such_o creature_n but_o i_o hearty_o wish_v i_o be_v o_o great_a and_o gallant_a liberty_n to_o esteem_v it_o for_o a_o direct_a captivity_n to_o be_v bind_v to_o live_v and_o converse_v according_a to_o the_o law_n of_o this_o world_n for_o when_o this_o be_v once_o obtain_v at_o the_o hand_n of_o almighty_a god_n there_o be_v not_o so_o base_a a_o slave_n upon_o earth_n as_o will_v not_o venture_v all_o that_o so_o he_o may_v redeem_v himself_o and_o return_v home_o to_o his_o own_o country_n and_o since_o this_o wherein_o we_o be_v be_v the_o true_a way_n there_o be_v neither_o cause_n nor_o colour_n why_o we_o shall_v desire_v to_o loiter_v in_o it_o for_o we_o shall_v never_o finish_v the_o gain_n of_o so_o great_a a_o treasure_n till_o our_o lord_n give_v we_o his_o grace_n to_o do_v it_o well_o i_o humble_o pray_v your_o reverence_n to_o tear_v this_o which_o i_o have_v write_v if_o you_o think_v fit_a and_o pardon_v i_o for_o i_o have_v presume_v too_o far_o the_o seaventeenth_n chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o argument_n about_o this_o three_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o finish_v the_o declaration_n of_o the_o effect_n which_o it_o work_n and_o declare_v also_o the_o disadvantage_n which_o the_o memory_n and_o imagination_n be_v wont_a to_o bring_v in_o this_o case_n i_o have_v already_o speak_v to_o some_o good_a proportion_n of_o this_o manner_n of_o prayer_n and_o of_o that_o which_o the_o soul_n be_v to_o perform_v therein_o or_o rather_o of_o what_o god_n do_v in_o she_o for_o now_o it_o be_v himself_o who_o take_v the_o office_n of_o gardner_n
imagine_v but_o i_o be_o of_o opinion_n that_o when_o the_o soul_n do_v any_o thing_n on_o her_o part_n to_o help_v herself_o on_o as_o afforesayd_a towards_o that_o prayer_n of_o union_n how_o soever_o for_o the_o present_a it_o may_v seem_v to_o do_v good_a yet_o the_o building_n will_v quick_o fall_v as_o want_v any_o sound_a foundation_n and_o i_o be_o afraid_a that_o she_o will_v never_o arrive_v to_o true_a poverty_n of_o spirit_n which_o consist_v in_o not_o desire_v so_o much_o as_o comfort_v or_o gust_n in_o prayer_n for_o all_o those_o of_o this_o world_n be_v forsake_v already_o except_o consolation_n in_o affliction_n and_o that_o for_o love_n of_o he_o who_o ever_o live_v in_o they_o but_o to_o remain_v also_o quiet_a in_o those_o very_a affliction_n and_o aridity_n for_o though_o they_o fail_v not_o to_o have_v some_o little_a trouble_n thereat_o yet_o be_v it_o not_o so_o far_o as_o to_o give_v they_o any_o such_o disquiet_n and_o pain_n as_o some_o give_v themselves_o 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when_o he_o shall_v find_v her_o strong_a he_o will_v take_v she_o up_o with_o he_o to_o the_o desert_n so_o that_o your_o reverence_n shall_v do_v well_o to_o keep_v yourself_o in_o this_o way_n till_o you_o meet_v with_o some_o other_o who_o may_v have_v more_o experience_n than_o i_o and_o may_v know_v it_o better_o only_o if_o they_o be_v person_n who_o be_v but_o beginning_n to_o have_v gust_n in_o almighty_a god_n do_v not_o believe_v they_o for_o they_o conceive_v that_o they_o profit_v themselves_o more_o and_o have_v more_o gust_n when_o they_o help_v themselves_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o be_v declare_v before_o o_o how_o almighty_a god_n come_v clear_o and_o open_o enough_o in_o without_o these_o little_a pretty_a help_n when_o he_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o it_o and_o so_o as_o that_o whether_o we_o will_v or_o no_o he_o elevate_v and_o hurries-away_a the_o spirit_n even_o as_o some_o giant_n will_v dispose_v of_o a_o straw_n and_o so_o as_o that_o no_o resistance_n can_v be_v think_v of_o but_o what_o a_o kind_n of_o impertinency_n be_v it_o for_o a_o man_n to_o believe_v that_o whensoever_o he_o list_v a_o toad_n shall_v be_v make_v able_a to_o fly_v of_o itself_o and_o i_o hold_v it_o to_o be_v a_o more_o difficult_a and_o absurd_a kind_n of_o thing_n that_o the_o spirit_n shall_v be_v able_a to_o raise_v and_o exalt_v itself_o without_o be_v exalt_v and_o raise_v by_o almighty_a god_n for_o it_o be_v all_z load_v with_o earth_n and_o with_o a_o thousand_o impediment_n and_o it_o will_v prove_v to_o be_v of_o little_a use_n to_o it_o that_o it_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o fly_v for_o though_o fly_v be_v more_o natural_a to_o a_o soul_n then_o to_o a_o toad_n yet_o this_o soul_n be_v already_o all_o plunge_v in_o a_o great_a bed_n of_o dutt_n &_o mire_n as_o have_v lose_v that_o other_o quality_n by_o her_o own_o fault_n i_o will_v therefore_o conclude_v with_o this_o that_o whensoever_o we_o dispose_v ourselves_o to_o think_v and_o meditate_v upon_o christ_n our_o lord_n we_o must_v remember_v the_o love_n wherewith_o he_o do_v we_o so_o many_o favour_n and_o now_o great_o almighty_a god_n be_v please_v to_o show_v it_o to_o we_o by_o give_v we_o so_o high_a a_o pledge_n and_o pawn_v of_o his_o love_n for_o one_o love_n beget_v and_o breed_v another_o and_o though_o we_o shall_v he_o mere_a poor_a beginner_n in_o this_o holy_a exercise_n and_o though_o we_o shall_v withal_o be_v very_o wicked_a yet_o let_v we_o still_o procure_v to_o be_v look_v upon_o this_o object_n and_o still_o be_v stir_v ourselves_o up_o to_o love_v for_o if_o once_o our_o bless_a lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o imprint_v this_o love_n into_o our_o heart_n all_o thing_n will_v grow_v easy_a to_o we_o and_o we_o shall_v quick_o fall_v to_o work_v and_o that_o without_o any_o trouble_n to_o ourselves_o at_o all_o i_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o he_o will_v vouchsafe_v to_o bestow_v it_o upon_o we_o since_o he_o know_v how_o very_o much_o the_o same_o import_v we_o for_o we_o beggit_fw-la by_o the_o great_a love_n which_o he_o bear_v to_o we_o and_o for_o the_o sake_n of_o his_o glorious_a son_n who_o also_o love_v we_o all_o so_o extreme_o to_o his_o own_o cost_n amen_n one_o solue_v thing_n i_o will_v fain_o ask_v your_o reverence_n how_o our_o lord_n begin_v to_o do_v favour_n to_o a_o soul_n and_o those_o so_o eminent_a and_o high_a as_o to_o bring_v she_o to_o perfect_a contemplation_n which_o soul_n be_v therefore_o in_o all_o reason_n to_o grow_v and_o remain_v entire_o perfect_a even_o at_o that_o instant_n for_o certain_o it_o ought_v to_o be_v so_o since_o whosoever_o receive_v so_o very_o great_a blessing_n from_o heaven_n shall_v be_v extreme_o far_o from_o care_v for_o any_o such_o delight_n as_o concern_v this_o life_n can_v possible_o bring_v to_o pass_v that_o when_o she_o grow_v to_o have_v rapt_n and_o so_o to_o receive_v more_o favour_n &_o high_a effect_n thereof_o and_o that_o so_o much_o the_o more_o as_o she_o falls-out_a to_o be_v more_o untie_v from_o the_o world_n and_o consider_v yet_o withal_o how_o in_o the_o very_a first_o instant_n when_o our_o lord_n arrive_v to_o a_o soul_n he_o can_v leave_v she_o entire_o sanctify_v how_o i_o say_v our_o lord_n can_v abandon_v this_o soul_n afterward_o in_o process_n of_o time_n without_o maintain_v it_o in_o the_o perfection_n of_o virtue_n this_o i_o say_v will_v i_o very_o fain_o know_v for_o i_o understand_v it_o not_o yet_o though_o i_o know_v well_o that_o it_o be_v a_o very_a different_a case_n what_o proportion_n of_o strength_n almighty_a god_n leave_v in_o a_o soul_n when_o his_o visitation_n at_o the_o first_o
they_o shall_v not_o speak_v thereof_o but_o this_o serve_v my_o turn_n to_o little_a purpose_n for_o there_o chance_v to_o be_v one_o at_o the_o gate_n when_o i_o be_v call_v who_o publish_v it_o over_o all_o the_o convent_n but_o now_o what_o difficulty_n and_o trouble_n and_o fear_n do_v the_o devil_n use_v to_o provide_v for_o such_o person_n as_o dispose_v themselves_o to_o approach_v to_o almighty_a god_n when_o i_o be_v treat_v with_o that_o servant_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n who_o be_v great_o so_o and_o a_o man_n also_o of_o very_o good_a discretion_n about_o the_o passage_n of_o my_o whole_a life_n and_o of_o my_o soul_n he_o declare_v to_o i_o what_o every_o thing_n be_v as_o a_o man_n who_o understand_v that_o language_n very_o well_o and_o he_o encourage_v i_o much_o and_o tell_v i_o that_o it_o be_v evident_o the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n which_o wrought_v in_o i_o happy_a but_o that_o i_o must_v return_v again_o to_o the_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n because_o i_o be_v not_o well_o ground_v therein_o nor_o have_v so_o much_o as_o begin_v to_o know_v what_o mortification_n mean_v and_o this_o be_v very_o true_a for_o i_o have_v hardly_o ever_o well_o understand_v so_o much_o as_o the_o name_n but_o that_o i_o shall_v by_o no_o mean_n give-ove_a my_o prayer_n but_o rather_o employ_v myself_o with_o more_o diligence_n and_o endeavour_v therein_o since_o almighty_a god_n have_v be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o so_o particular_a favour_n and_o what_o say_v he_o can_v any_o body_n tell_v whether_o it_o may_v not_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o do_v good_a to_o many_o even_o by_o your_o mean_n other_o thing_n also_o he_o say_v in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o he_o may_v seem_v even_o to_o have_v prophesy_v then_o concern_v those_o thing_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o grant_v and_o effect_n afterward_o and_o i_o shall_v be_v subject_a to_o very_o great_a blame_n if_o i_o correspond_v not_o with_o those_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o show_v i_o in_o all_o thing_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o the_o holy_a ghost_n speak_v to_o i_o by_o this_o father_n in_o order_n to_o the_o cure_n of_o my_o soul_n so_o distinct_o grow_v every_o thing_n to_o be_v imprince_v therein_o he_o put_v i_o to_o great_a confusion_n and_o direct_v i_o by_o such_o mean_n to_o proceed_v that_o he_o seem_v to_o make_v i_o absolute_o even_o another_o creature_n so_o great_a a_o thing_n it_o be_v to_o understand_v a_o soul_n he_o will_v i_o every_o day_n to_o meditate_v upon_o some_o passage_n of_o the_o passion_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v help_v myself_o thereby_o and_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o think_v but_o upon_o his_o holy_a humanity_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v resist_v those_o recollection_n and_o gust_n as_o much_o as_o i_o can_v and_o not_o give_v place_n to_o they_o till_o he_o shall_v express_v himself_o to_o i_o by_o some_o other_o order_n he_o leave_v i_o both_o comfort_v and_o strengthen_v and_o our_o lord_n assist_v both_o i_o and_o he_o to_o the_o end_n that_o he_o may_v understand_v my_o condition_n and_o in_o what_o sort_n i_o be_v to_o govern_v myself_o and_o i_o remain_v with_o a_o resolution_n not_o to_o swerve_v at_o all_o from_o any_o thing_n which_o he_o have_v or_o shall_v command_v i_o and_o therein_o have_v i_o continue_v till_o this_o very_a day_n our_o lord_n be_v bless_v and_o praise_v for_o have_v give_v i_o grace_n to_o obey_v my_o ghostly_a father_n though_o yet_o after_o a_o imperfect_a manner_n and_o they_o have_v in_o effect_n ever_o be_v these_o bless_a man_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n howsoever_o as_o i_o be_v say_v i_o have_v follow_v they_o after_o a_o imperfect_a manner_n but_o now_o my_o soul_n begin_v to_o receive_v a_o evident_a kind_n of_o amendment_n and_o improvement_n as_o i_o will_v here_o declare_v the_o four_o and_o twenty_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o former_a discourse_n and_o show_n how_o her_o soul_n go_v profit_v when_o once_o she_o have_v begin_v to_o obey_v she_o also_o declare_v for_o how_o little_a purpose_n it_o serve_v to_o resist_v the_o favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o how_o his_o divine_a majesty_n go_v daily_o impart_v they_o to_o she_o after_o a_o more_o complete_a manner_n but_o now_o my_o soul_n remain_v so_o supple_a and_o tractable_a by_o mean_n of_o this_o last_o confession_n of_o i_o that_o i_o think_v there_o can_v be_v nothing_o to_o which_o i_o will_v not_o dispose_v myself_o and_o so_o i_o instant_o begin_v to_o change_v in_o many_o thing_n though_o yet_o my_o ghostly_a father_n do_v not_o soul_n press_v i_o much_o but_o rather_o seem_v to_o make_v little_a account_n of_o they_o and_o this_o wrought_v even_o so_o much_o the_o more_o upon_o i_o for_o he_o carry_v i_o rather_o on_o by_o way_n of_o give_v i_o certain_a liberty_n in_o little_a thing_n then_o of_o pressure_n unlosse_n myself_o can_v find_v in_o my_o hart_n to_o do_v it_o for_o love._n in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o continue_v upon_o the_o point_n of_o two_o month_n use_v all_o the_o diligence_n that_o possible_o i_o can_v to_o resist_v the_o favour_n and_o regalo_n of_o almighty_a god_n as_o for_o my_o exterior_a conversation_n and_o proceed_v there_o be_v already_o a_o apparent_a change_n to_o be_v see_v in_o i_o for_o already_o our_o bless_a lord_n begin_v to_o give_v i_o courage_n to_o do_v certain_a thing_n which_o the_o person_n who_o see_v and_o know_v i_o hold_v to_o be_v extreme_a and_o even_o in_o the_o very_a house_n itself_o and_o in_o respect_n of_o what_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o do_v before_o they_o may_v indeed_o be_v account_v to_o hang_v that_o way_n though_o yet_o still_o it_o all_o fall_v short_a enough_o of_o that_o to_o which_o i_o be_v oblige_v both_o by_o the_o habit_n which_o i_o have_v take_v and_o by_o the_o profession_n also_o which_o i_o have_v make_v from_o that_o resistance_n which_o i_o make_v to_o the_o gust_n and_o regalo_n of_o almighty_a god_n i_o gain_v thus_o much_o that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n come_v to_o be_v please_v to_o be_v my_o instructor_n himself_o for_o before_o it_o seem_v that_o for_o the_o dispose_n i_o towards_o the_o receive_n of_o any_o such_o regalo_n as_o those_o there_o be_v need_v that_o i_o shall_v retire_v and_o shut_v myself_o as_o it_o be_v up_o into_o corner_n and_o i_o also_o dare_v not_o as_o it_o be_v move_v or_o stir_v but_o afterward_o i_o quick_o find_v how_o little_a all_o that_o serve_v to_o the_o purpose_n for_o when_o i_o procure_v to_o divert_v myself_o most_o so_o much_o the_o more_o do_v our_o bless_a lord_n cover_v i_o as_o it_o be_v all_o over_o with_o that_o kind_n of_o suavitie_n and_o glory_n as_o seem_v even_o to_o compass_v i_o in_o on_o every_o side_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a for_o i_o to_o escape_v from_o it_o and_o real_o so_o it_o be_v for_o as_o for_o i_o i_o take_v so_o much_o care_n to_o decline_v it_o that_o it_o do_v even_o put_v i_o to_o pain_n and_o yet_o our_o 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will_v do_v i_o no_o hurt_n and_o that_o perhaps_o almighty_a god_n give_v i_o sickness_n in_o the_o quality_n of_o penance_n since_o i_o will_v impose_v none_o upon_o myself_o he_o will_v i_o also_o to_o do_v certain_a act_n of_o mortification_n which_o be_v not_o very_o please_v to_o i_o though_o yet_o i_o went-through_a with_o they_o all_o because_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o as_o if_o our_o lord_n himself_o have_v command_v they_o and_o his_o divine_a majesty_n give_v he_o also_o grace_n to_o direct_v they_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o i_o shall_v be_v glad_a to_o obey_v he_o my_o soul_n go_v then_o
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and_o so_o make_v those_o wretch_n tremble_v for_o already_o we_o know_v well_o enough_o that_o the_o devil_n be_v not_o able_a to_o stir_v unless_o our_o lord_n permit_v he_o what_o then_o may_v be_v the_o ground_n of_o all_o these_o disorder_n it_o be_v certain_o that_o i_o be_o more_o afraid_a of_o they_o who_o be_v so_o fright_v by_o the_o devil_n then_o of_o the_o devil_n himself_o for_o he_o be_v utter_o unable_a to_o do_v i_o hurt_v whereas_o these_o other_o especial_o if_o they_o be_v ghostly_a father_n may_v put_v soul_n to_o much_o disquiet_n and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o have_v pass_v some_o year_n through_o so_o great_a trouble_n that_o now_o i_o be_o even_o amaze_v to_o consider_v how_o i_o have_v be_v able_a to_o endure_v it_o but_o bless_v be_v our_o lord_n who_o have_v assist_v i_o in_o so_o good_a earnest_n amen_n the_o six_o and_o twenty_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o discourse_n and_o go_v relate_v and_o declare_v such_o thing_n as_o happen_v to_o she_o 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or_o rank_n yet_o howsoever_o i_o see_v thereby_o that_o there_o be_v so_o great_a a_o difference_n in_o heaven_n between_o one_o angel_n and_o another_o as_o i_o be_o no_o way_n able_a to_o express_v i_o see_v that_o he_o have_v a_o long_a dart_n of_o gold_n in_o his_o hand_n and_o at_o the_o end_n of_o the_o iron_n below_o i_o think_v there_o be_v a_o little_a fire_n and_o i_o conceive_v that_o he_o thrust_v it_o some_o several_a time_n through_o my_o very_a hart_n after_o such_o a_o manner_n as_o that_o it_o pass_v the_o very_a inward_o of_o my_o bowel_n and_o when_o he_o draw_v it_o back_o i_o think_v it_o carry_v
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which_o be_v ill_a but_o only_o about_o thing_n which_o be_v indifferent_a if_o there_o be_v any_o thing_n which_o may_v occur_v to_o be_v do_v either_o here_o or_o there_o or_o any_o where_o else_o but_o thus_o i_o come_v to_o know_v better_o the_o incomparable_a mercy_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o upon_o his_o tying-up_a this_o mad_a fool_n when_o we_o be_v in_o perfect_a contemplation_n and_o here_o i_o consider_v what_o will_v become_v of_o i_o if_o such_o person_n as_o hold_v i_o now_o for_o good_a can_v discern_v i_o to_o have_v these_o idleness_n and_o impertinency_n which_o i_o have_v describe_v here_o but_o now_o i_o have_v very_o great_a compassion_n of_o a_o soul_n to_o find_v she_o in_o so_o ill_a company_n as_o this_o i_o will_v fain_o see_v she_o rather_o in_o liberty_n and_o i_o express_v myself_o in_o this_o manner_n to_o our_o bless_a lord_n when_o o_o my_o god_n shall_v i_o arrive_v to_o see_v my_o soul_n all_o conjoin_a and_o unite_v together_o in_o celebrate_v thy_o praise_n that_o so_o all_o the_o power_n thereof_o may_v admire_v thou_o permit_v not_o heerafrer_n o_o lord_n that_o she_o wander_v up_o and_o down_o by_o piece_n for_o now_o it_o seem_v no_o otherwise_o then_o as_o if_o every_o one_o of_o the_o same_o power_n be_v run_v up_o and_o down_o in_o a_o several_a way_n these_o thing_n pass_v thus_o very_o often_o and_o i_o understand_v also_o very_o well_o that_o sometime_o the_o little_a corporal_a health_n i_o have_v contribute_v much_o to_o these_o inconvenience_n i_o also_o reflect_v much_o by_o these_o occasion_n upon_o the_o hurt_n which_o the_o sin_n of_o our_o first_o parent_n have_v do_v we_o for_o i_o think_v it_o be_v grow_v from_o thence_o that_o we_o be_v incapable_a to_o enjoy_v so_o great_a a_o good_a and_o my_o own_o sin_n be_v a_o great_a part_n of_o the_o cause_n for_o certain_o if_o i_o have_v not_o commit_v so_o many_o i_o shall_v have_v remain_v more_o entire_a and_o free_a towards_o the_o do_n of_o good_a i_o be_v subject_a also_o by_o time_n to_o another_o very_a great_a inconvenience_n for_o conceave_a that_o i_o understand_v all_o the_o book_n that_o treat_v of_o prayer_n which_o i_o come_v to_o read_v and_o that_o already_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v do_v i_o some_o such_o kind_n of_o favour_n as_o that_o i_o need_v they_o not_o for_o this_o reason_n i_o do_v not_o read_v they_o but_o apply_v myself_o to_o read_v the_o live_v of_o saint_n and_o find_v myself_o also_o very_o short_a in_o that_o wherein_o they_o have_v so_o heroical_o serve_v almighty_a god_n this_o seem_v to_o do_v i_o good_a and_o give_v i_o strength_n but_o yet_o i_o think_v this_o be_v a_o sign_n of_o little_a humility_n for_o i_o to_o think_v that_o i_o be_v already_o arrive_v to_o hold_v that_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o not_o be_v able_a to_o quiet_v myself_o otherwise_o i_o continue_v much_o in_o pain_n till_o certain_a learned_a man_n and_o particular_o that_o bless_a creature_n fray_n pedro_fw-la de_fw-fr alcantara_n declare_v to_o i_o that_o i_o be_v not_o to_o be_v trouble_v at_o that_o i_o be_o not_o ignorant_a that_o in_o the_o serve_v of_o almighty_a god_n i_o have_v not_o yet_o so_o much_o as_o begin_v though_o yet_o the_o way_n which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v hold_v in_o do_v i_o favour_n be_v the_o same_o which_o he_o have_v use_v towards_o such_o as_o be_v good_a whereas_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o no_o more_o than_o a_o direct_a downright_a mere_a imperfection_n unless_o it_o be_v in_o my_o desire_n to_o love_v he_o for_o in_o this_o indeed_o i_o see_v well_o that_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v i_o favour_n that_o so_o i_o may_v perform_v some_o little_a thing_n for_o he_o i_o confess_v i_o think_v i_o love_v he_o but_o my_o action_n and_o the_o many_o imperfection_n which_o i_o discern_v therein_o give_v i_o great_a discomfort_n at_o other_o time_n my_o soul_n fall_v into_o a_o kind_n of_o foolery_n for_o so_o it_o be_v when_o i_o think_v i_o do_v neither_o good_a nor_o ill_a but_o follow_v on_o after_o the_o walk_n of_o other_o folk_n and_o this_o neither_o with_o pain_n nor_o glory_n nor_o with_o thought_n of_o life_n or_o death_n nor_o gust_n nor_o trouble_n yea_o i_o think_v she_o feel_v nothing_o at_o all_o but_o rather_o seem_v to_o i_o to_o walk_v on_o like_o some_o little_a ass_n who_o seed_n and_o sustain_v himself_o because_o they_o give_v he_o somewhat_o to_o eat_v and_o he_o eat_v almost_o without_o think_v what_o he_o be_v do_v for_o the_o soul_n when_o she_o be_v in_o this_o state_n be_v not_o likely_a to_o be_v without_o feed_v upon_o some_o great_a favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n since_o she_o be_v not_o trouble_v with_o live_v in_o so_o miserable_a a_o life_n as_o this_o but_o pass_v through_o it_o with_o patience_n and_o equality_n of_o mind_n but_o yet_o these_o motion_n and_o effect_n be_v not_o find_v by_o she_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o the_o soul_n be_v make_v to_o understand_v herself_o by_o they_o it_o seem_v now_o also_o to_o i_o to_o be_v as_o when_o man_n sail_v at_o sea_n by_o the_o breath_n of_o a_o sweet_a and_o gentle_a wind_n for_o then_o we_o ride_v much_o way_n though_o we_o scarce_o know_v how_o whereas_o in_o those_o other_o condition_n the_o effect_n be_v so_o very_o great_a that_o the_o soul_n do_v almost_o instant_o discern_v she_o own_o improvement_n for_o instant_o do_v her_o desire_n boil_v up_o and_o the_o soul_n can_v never_o satisfy_v herself_o but_o they_o to_o who_o almighty_a god_n impart_v such_o impetuosity_n of_o love_n do_v find_v such_o operation_n as_o these_o this_o be_v like_o certain_a little_a spring_n which_o i_o have_v observe_v to_o rise_v and_o where_o the_o sand_n never_o cease_v to_o move_v upward_o and_o this_o example_n and_o comparison_n of_o soul_n which_o be_v arrive_v to_o this_o state_n seem_v very_o natural_a to_o i_o for_o love_n will_v be_v ever_o boil_v upward_o and_o consider_v and_o devise_v about_o what_o it_o may_v be_v able_a to_o do_v and_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n be_v contain_v in_o itself_o as_o it_o seem_v the_o water_n whereof_o i_o speak_v be_v not_o able_a to_o continue_v in_o the_o earth_n which_o still_o be_v cast_v it_o up_o from_o thence_o and_o just_o so_o be_v it_o very_o usual_a for_o the_o soul_n not_o to_o be_v at_o quiet_a or_o in_o contentment_n with_o herself_o through_o the_o love_n she_o bear_v to_o almighty_a god_n but_o she_o be_v so_o bathe_v and_o soak_v and_o fill_v with_o it_o that_o she_o wish_n that_o other_o will_v drink_v too_o since_o for_o her_o part_n she_o can_v want_v that_o so_o they_o may_v assist_v she_o to_o sing_v the_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n o_o how_o often_o do_v i_o call_v to_o mind_n that_o live_a water_n whereof_o our_o lord_n speak_v to_o the_o samaritan_n as_o indeed_o i_o be_o very_o much_o devote_a to_o that_o gospel_n and_o real_o it_o be_v most_o true_a that_o i_o be_v so_o even_o from_o my_o childhood_n though_o i_o do_v not_o then_o understand_v this_o benefit_n as_o now_o i_o do_v but_o i_o often_o beseech_v our_o lord_n to_o bestow_v of_o this_o water_n upon_o i_o and_o always_o i_o have_v the_o image_n or_o figure_n of_o it_o at_o hand_n with_o this_o motto_n or_o word_n of_o she_o when_o he_o be_v so_o near_o the_o well_o domine_fw-la da_fw-la mihi_fw-la hanc_fw-la aquam_fw-la o_o lord_n bestow_v this_o water_n upon_o i_o it_o seem_v also_o to_o i_o that_o as_o a_o fire_n which_o be_v very_o great_a needs_o matter_n upon_o which_o to_o work_v to_o the_o end_n that_o it_o may_v not_o be_v extinguish_v so_o also_o for_o
lord_n with_o such_o a_o abundance_n of_o mercy_n have_v not_o dispatch_v all_o that_o business_n alone_o for_o till_o he_o out_o of_o his_o own_o goodness_n do_v so_o your_o reverence_n will_v already_o have_v see_v that_o on_o my_o part_n there_o be_v nothing_o at_o all_o but_o only_o rise_v and_o fall_v over_o and_o over_o i_o will_v fain_o express_v this_o point_n home_n for_o i_o believe_v that_o many_o soul_n grow_v to_o be_v abuse_v and_o deceive_v because_o they_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o fly_v before_o almighty_a god_n give_v they_o wing_n i_o conceive_v that_o i_o have_v former_o use_v this_o comparison_n but_o it_o come_v also_o very_a well_o in_o here_o for_o i_o find_v that_o many_o soul_n be_v much_o afflict_v upon_o this_o occasion_n as_o namely_o when_o they_o begin_v with_o great_a desire_n and_o resolution_n to_o go_v forward_o in_o the_o way_n of_o virtue_n and_o some_o do_v even_o give-ove_a all_o for_o love_v thereof_o forasmuch_o as_o concern_v exterior_a thing_n and_o yet_o see_v more_o advantageous_a effect_n and_o fruit_n of_o such_o virtue_n as_o our_o lord_n have_v infuse_v into_o the_o soul_n of_o other_o who_o be_v more_o proficient_a then_o into_o they_o and_o that_o they_o can_v perform_v certain_a thing_n which_o be_v set_v down_o in_o those_o book_n which_o be_v write_v of_o prayer_n and_o contemplation_n which_o man_n be_v advise_v to_o use_v so_o to_o make_v themselves_o ascend_v up_o the_o better_a and_o the_o high_a to_o this_o dignity_n and_o in_o fine_a when_o they_o can_v instant_o obtain_v these_o thing_n they_o discomfort_n and_o afflict_v themselves_o as_o for_o example_n not_o to_o care_v a_o straw_n if_o any_o body_n shall_v speak_v ill_a of_o we_o but_o rather_o to_o take_v more_o contentment_n in_o it_o then_o when_o they_o praise_v we_o to_o have_v very_o little_a esteem_n of_o our_o honour_n to_o be_v perfect_o untie_v from_o the_o care_n of_o kindred_n and_o friend_n and_o not_o to_o desire_v to_o converse_v with_o 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we_o shall_v be_v victorious_a and_o because_o i_o have_v much_o experience_n hereof_o i_o will_v speak_v a_o word_n or_o two_o by_o way_n of_o advice_n to_o your_o reverence_n for_o you_o must_v not_o think_v though_o it_o may_v appear_v as_o if_o it_o be_v true_a that_o any_o virtue_n be_v already_o gain_v unless_o it_o be_v first_o compare_v and_o experiment_v by_o the_o vice_n which_o be_v contrary_a to_o it_o and_o we_o must_v always_o remain_v doubtful_a and_o suspicious_a and_o not_o cast_v off_o our_o care_n as_o long_o as_o we_o be_v the_o owner_n of_o our_o life_n for_o our_o weakness_n stick_v close_o and_o fast_o to_o we_o unless_o as_o i_o be_v say_v before_o the_o whole_a benefit_n be_v impart_v to_o we_o by_o divine_a grace_n to_o the_o end_n that_o we_o may_v know_v what_o all_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o life_n be_v worth_a and_o that_o there_o be_v never_o any_o such_o thing_n as_o can_v be_v term_v all_o but_o in_o company_n of_o many_o danger_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o some_o few_o year_n ago_o that_o not_o only_o i_o be_v not_o inordinate_o tie_v to_o the_o love_n of_o any_o of_o my_o kindred_n but_o rather_o that_o i_o be_v weary_a of_o they_o and_o it_o be_v real_o very_o true_a that_o there_o be_v time_n when_o i_o will_v not_o so_o much_o as_o endure_v their_o conversation_n but_o yet_o afterward_o there_o occur_v a_o certain_a business_n of_o much_o importance_n which_o oblige_v i_o to_o remain_v with_o a_o certain_a sister_n of_o i_o who_o former_o i_o have_v love_v with_o very_o extraordinary_a affection_n and_o now_o be_v come_v again_o to_o converse_v with_o she_o we_o suit_v not_o so_o very_o well_o with_o one_o another_o for_o though_o she_o be_v better_a than_o i_o yet_o be_v of_o a_o different_a condition_n from_o i_o in_o regard_n that_o she_o be_v marry_v the_o conversation_n be_v not_o always_o that_o which_o i_o can_v have_v wish_v and_o therefore_o i_o like_v to_o be_v alone_o as_o much_o as_o convenient_o i_o may_v but_o yet_o after_o a_o while_n i_o find_v that_o her_o trouble_n and_o affair_n bring_v i_o more_o resentment_n and_o care_n by_o much_o than_o such_o other_o do_v as_o belong_v to_o any_o christian_a neighbour_n of_o i_o at_o large_a and_o this_o give_v i_o some_o little_a disgust_n against_o myself_o for_o so_o in_o fine_a i_o come_v to_o know_v that_o i_o be_v not_o so_o very_o free_a and_o untie_v as_o i_o have_v former_o conceive_v and_o that_o moreover_o i_o be_v to_o have_v avoid_v the_o occasion_n to_o the_o end_n that_o so_o this_o virtue_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v begin_v to_o give_v i_o may_v have_v get_v strength_n and_o i_o have_v procure_v through_o his_o favour_n to_o proceed_v in_o this_o manner_n ever_o since_o when_o our_o lord_n begin_v to_o impart_v a_o virtue_n to_o a_o soul_n it_o be_v to_o be_v hold_v in_o great_a account_n and_o by_o no_o mean_n be_v we_o to_o expose_v it_o to_o the_o danger_n of_o be_v lose_v so_o be_v it_o in_o those_o thing_n which_o concern_v reputation_n and_o honour_n and_o so_o also_o in_o other_o and_o your_o reverence_n may_v well_o believe_v that_o not_o all_o they_o and_o we_o who_o esteem_v ourselves_o to_o be_v absolute_o untie_v from_o all_o thing_n be_v yet_o so_o indeed_o and_o we_o have_v need_n enough_o not_o to_o be_v slack_a or_o negligent_a herein_o for_o whatsoever_o person_n there_o be_v who_o feel_v any_o care_n at_o all_o of_o any_o one_o point_n of_o honour_n in_o himself_o let_v he_o believe_v i_o if_o he_o mean_v to_o profit_v in_o spirit_n that_o there_o be_v ever_o a_o certain_a tie_n at_o the_o end_n of_o it_o and_o it_o be_v by_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o chain_n as_o that_o there_o be_v no_o file_n in_o the_o world_n but_o god_n and_o prayer_n and_o very_o much_o endeavour_v on_o our_o part_n which_o will_v possible_o be_v able_a to_o divide_v it_o &_o it_o seem_v to_o be_v so_o fast_o a_o knot_n that_o i_o be_o amaze_v to_o see_v the_o mischief_n which_o it_o bring_v sometime_o i_o see_v certain_a person_n who_o seem_v to_o be_v even_a saint_n by_o their_o work_n for_o they_o do_v so_o very_a many_o and_o so_o great_a one_o that_o the_o world_n do_v even_o admire_v they_o and_o exclaim_v after_o this_o manner_n dear_a god_n and_o how_o come_v it_o to_o pass_v that_o such_o a_o soul_n as_o that_o do_v still_o inhabit_v the_o earth_n be_v he_o not_o already_o at_o the_o very_a top_n of_o perfection_n what_o be_v this_o and_o what_o can_v detain_v such_o a_o man_n from_o be_v a_o direct_a and_o downright_a saint_n who_o do_v so_o great_a thing_n for_o god_n but_o my_o answer_n to_o this_o question_n be_v that_o this_o man_n have_v yet_o perhaps_o some_o little_a consideration_n &_o care_n of_o preserve_v some_o point_n of_o honour_n for_o himself_o yea_o and_o the_o worst_a of_o this_o business_n be_v that_o he_o will_v by_o no_o mean_n believe_v that_o in_o very_a deed_n there_o be_v any_o such_o thing_n and_o that_o happen_v because_o sometime_o the_o devil_n make_v he_o conceive_v that_o he_o be_v even_o oblige_v to_o have_v a_o great_a care_n of_o it_o well_o yet_o let_v they_o harken_v to_o i_o i_o beseech_v they_o and_o together_o even_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n i_o beg_v of_o they_o that_o they_o will_v believe_v this_o poor_a little_a miserable_a ant_n who_o our_o lord_n command_v to_o speak_v that_o unless_o they_o free_v themselves_o from_o this_o caterpillar_n though_o perhaps_o it_o may_v not_o destroy_v the_o whole_a tree_n because_o some_o other_o virtue_n do_v still_o peradventure_o remain_v yet_o even_o all_o those_o very_a virtue_n will_v be_v worm-eaten_a nor_o will_v it_o ever_o be_v a_o beautiful_a
kind_n of_o inclination_n to_o know_v in_o what_o condition_n or_o state_n that_o soul_n be_v for_o i_o desire_v that_o he_o may_v be_v a_o very_a great_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n i_o rise_v then_o from_o sit_v where_o i_o be_v that_o so_o i_o may_v be_v go_v towards_o he_o but_o yet_o have_v be_v already_o recollect_v in_o prayer_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o then_o afterward_o that_o it_o will_v be_v no_o better_o then_o lose_v time_n and_o what_o forsooth_o have_v i_o to_o do_v with_o he_o and_o so_o i_o then_o dispose_v myself_o to_o sit_v down_o again_o and_o as_o i_o now_o remember_v i_o do_v the_o very_a same_o thing_n no_o less_o than_o three_o several_a time_n in_o fine_a the_o good_a angel_n be_v strong_a than_o the_o ill_a and_o i_o go_v and_o require_v he_o to_o be_v call_v and_o so_o he_o come_v i_o than_o begin_v to_o ask_v he_o diverse_a question_n as_o he_o do_v i_o because_o many_o year_n have_v slip_v away_o since_o we_o meet_v last_o concern_v the_o several_a life_n of_o one_o another_o and_o i_o begin_v to_o tell_v he_o that_o as_o for_o i_o it_o have_v be_v subject_a to_o many_o affliction_n of_o mind_n upon_o this_o he_o press_v much_o to_o know_v what_o those_o affliction_n may_v be_v and_o i_o tell_v he_o that_o it_o be_v neither_o great_o pertinent_a to_o be_v know_v nor_o very_o fit_a for_o i_o to_o relate_v but_o he_o reply_v that_o since_o the_o father_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n know_v they_o that_o father_n who_o i_o have_v affirm_v to_o be_v so_o much_o his_o friend_n will_v present_o let_v he_o know_v they_o and_o therefore_o that_o i_o need_v not_o trouble_v myself_o to_o relate_v they_o but_o in_o fine_a the_o case_n grow_v to_o be_v this_o that_o neither_o be_v it_o in_o his_o power_n to_o forbear_v to_o importune_v i_o nor_o in_o i_o to_o forbear_v to_o declare_v myself_o herein_o to_o he_o for_o with_o all_o that_o trouble_n and_o shame_n which_o i_o use_v to_o have_v whensoever_o there_o be_v discourse_n of_o thing_n like_o this_o yet_o when_o i_o treat_v of_o they_o with_o this_o man_n and_o with_o the_o rectour_n also_o of_o the_o society_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v before_o it_o put_v i_o to_o no_o trouble_n at_o all_o but_o rather_o it_o be_v of_o comfort_n to_o i_o i_o therefore_o unfold_v myself_o to_o he_o but_o yet_o under_o the_o seal_n of_o confession_n and_o i_o thought_n he_o be_v more_o advise_v then_o ever_o though_o i_o always_o hold_v he_o to_o be_v a_o man_n of_o very_o great_a understanding_n i_o consider_v the_o many_o talent_n and_o part_n he_o have_v wherewith_o to_o do_v a_o huge_a deal_n of_o good_a if_o he_o will_v give_v himself_o entire_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o it_o be_v true_a that_o i_o have_v have_v this_o quality_n for_o diverse_a of_o these_o latter_a year_n that_o i_o can_v see_v any_o creature_n who_o content_v i_o much_o of_o but_o i_o must_v instant_o desire_v to_o have_v he_o whole_o give_v to_o almighty_a god_n and_o i_o wish_v it_o even_o with_o such_o a_o extremity_n of_o appetite_n that_o i_o know_v not_o almost_o in_o those_o case_n what_o to_o do_v with_o myself_o and_o though_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o i_o will_v fain_o have_v all_o the_o world_n do_v he_o service_n yet_o i_o desire_v with_o very_o great_a impulse_n and_o even_o impetuositie_n that_o the_o person_n who_o please_v i_o best_o shall_v do_v it_o most_o and_o so_o i_o often_o use_v to_o importune_v our_o lord_n extreme_o in_o their_o behalf_n but_o as_o for_o that_o religious_a man_n of_o who_o i_o be_v speak_v he_o beseech_v i_o that_o i_o will_v recommend_v he_o earnest_o to_o almighty_a god_n but_o that_o be_v more_o than_o need_v for_o already_o i_o be_v so_o go_v with_o the_o man_n that_o i_o can_v not_o possible_o do_v otherwise_o and_o so_o i_o go_v to_o the_o place_n where_o i_o be_v accustom_v to_o put_v myself_o in_o prayer_n all_o alone_a and_o be_v then_o in_o deep_a recollection_n i_o begin_v to_o deal_v with_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o it_o be_v in_o a_o stile_n so_o very_o familiar_a that_o it_o be_v even_o half_a foolish_a for_o i_o treat_v with_o he_o many_o time_n without_o know_v almost_o distinct_o what_o i_o say_v for_o then_o it_o be_v not_o so_o proper_o my_o person_n as_o my_o love_n which_o speak_v and_o the_o soul_n be_v so_o alienate_v even_o from_o herself_o that_o i_o scarce_o discern_v the_o difference_n which_o then_o there_o be_v between_o almighty_a god_n and_o i_o for_o the_o great_a love_n which_o my_o soul_n know_v that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n bear_v she_o make_v she_o forget_v what_o she_o be_v in_o herself_o as_o conceave_a that_o she_o be_v then_o in_o he_o and_o so_o as_o if_o both_o she_o and_o he_o be_v one_o and_o the_o selfsame_a thing_n without_o division_n or_o distinction_n she_o utter_v but_o impertinency_n and_o roaving_n i_o remember_v that_o i_o tell_v he_o thus_o much_o after_o i_o have_v beg_v of_o he_o with_o abundance_n of_o tear_n that_o the_o soul_n of_o that_o religious_a man_n may_v apply_v itself_o to_o his_o service_n in_o great_a earnest_n that_o although_o i_o hold_v he_o already_o for_o good_a yet_o that_o will_v not_o serve_v my_o turn_n for_o i_o must_v have_v he_o very_o good_a and_o according_o i_o say_v further_o thus_o in_o plain_a term_n o_o lord_n thou_o must_v not_o deny_v i_o this_o favour_n but_o consider_v that_o this_o man_n will_v be_v very_o fit_a to_o make_v afreind_n for_o we_o both_o o_o great_a humanity_n and_o bounty_n of_o almighty_a god_n nor_o do_v he_o so_o much_o consider_v our_o word_n but_o the_o desire_n and_o affection_n wherewith_o they_o be_v speak_v but_o now_o how_o can_v he_o come_v to_o endure_v that_o such_o a_o miserable_a creature_n as_o i_o shall_v speak_v to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n with_o so_o much_o boldness_n but_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o the_o while_n i_o remember_v well_o that_o in_o those_o hour_n of_o prayer_n wherein_o i_o exercise_v myself_o that_o night_n our_o lord_n give_v i_o a_o great_a affliction_n by_o my_o doubt_n whether_o i_o be_v in_o his_o favour_n but_o now_o i_o desire_v not_o so_o much_o to_o know_v that_o as_o i_o do_v even_o desire_v to_o die_v rather_o than_o to_o continue_v in_o such_o a_o life_n as_o wherein_o i_o may_v not_o be_v sure_a whether_o i_o be_v dead_a or_o no._n for_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a for_o i_o to_o endure_v a_o sharp_a death_n then_o to_o think_v that_o i_o have_v offend_v almighty_a god_n and_o this_o pain_n put_v i_o into_o such_o straits_n that_o be_v all_o regaled_a as_o i_o be_v and_o even_o melt_v and_o dissolve_v in_o tear_n i_o humble_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o he_o will_v not_o permit_v it_o and_o so_o i_o come_v then_o to_o understand_v that_o i_o may_v well_o be_v comfort_v and_o confide_v that_o i_o be_v in_o state_n of_o grace_n for_o that_o such_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o the_o impart_v of_o such_o favour_n and_o feeling_n as_o his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o i_o be_v not_o compatible_a with_o any_o such_o soul_n as_o shall_v be_v in_o mortal_a sinne._n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o grow_v into_o a_o kind_n of_o assure_a hope_n that_o our_o lord_n will_v grant_v the_o thing_n to_o that_o other_o person_n which_o i_o humble_o beg_v at_o his_o hand_n he_o command_v i_o also_o to_o deliver_v certain_a word_n to_o he_o but_o at_o this_o indeed_o i_o be_v trouble_v much_o as_o not_o know_v how_o i_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o utter_v they_o for_o the_o point_n of_o carry_v a_o message_n to_o a_o three_o person_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o i_o be_v say_v be_v a_o thing_n which_o do_v always_o afflict_v i_o especial_o when_o i_o know_v not_o how_o it_o will_v be_v take_v or_o whether_o the_o person_n will_v not_o laugh_v at_o i_o for_o my_o labour_n this_o put_v i_o to_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o trouble_n but_o yet_o in_o fine_a i_o think_v i_o be_v so_o far_o persuade_v as_o to_o promise_v almighty_a god_n that_o i_o will_v not_o forbear_v to_o impart_v they_o and_o through_o the_o great_a confusion_n and_o shame_n wherein_o i_o be_v i_o hart_n write_v they_o and_o so_o deliver_v they_o to_o he_o and_o now_o this_o well_o appear_v to_o be_v a_o action_n of_o almighty_a god_n by_o the_o great_a effect_n it_o wrought_v for_o he_o resolve_v to_o give_v himself_o to_o prayer_n after_o very_o a_o serious_a manner_n though_o yet_o he_o do_v it_o not_o so_o very_o soon_o but_o yet_o our_o lord_n design_v to_o make_v he_o whole_o his_o own_o be_v please_v to_o declare_v certain_a truth_n to_o he_o by_o my_o mean_n
and_o i_o will_v also_o be_v very_o glad_a to_o see_v he_o and_o to_o think_v of_o he_o and_o to_o consider_v the_o good_a part_n which_o i_o find_v in_o he_o and_o this_o be_v so_o prejudicial_a a_o thing_n that_o it_o do_v my_o soul_n a_o great_a deal_n of_o hurt_n but_o when_o once_o i_o be_v come_v to_o behold_v the_o great_a beauty_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n i_o see_v no_o creature_n after_o that_o which_o may_v seem_v passable_a in_o comparison_n of_o he_o nor_o who_o be_v able_a to_o takeup_a my_o thought_n for_o one_o minute_n for_o by_o cast_v the_o eye_n of_o my_o consideration_n upon_o that_o image_n or_o picture_n of_o he_o which_o be_v engrave_v in_o my_o soul_n i_o have_v remain_v with_o so_o much_o liberty_n of_o mind_n in_o this_o respect_n that_o every_o thing_n which_o i_o have_v see_v since_o that_o time_n make_v i_o ready_a almost_o to_o cast_v the_o gorge_n in_o comparison_n of_o the_o excellency_n and_o air_n and_o grace_n which_o i_o discern_v to_o abound_v in_o this_o lord_n of_o i_o nor_o be_v there_o any_o knowledge_n or_o comfort_n which_o i_o can_v at_o all_o esteem_v in_o comparison_n of_o that_o which_o grow_v by_o the_o hear_n of_o one_o single_a word_n which_o proceed_v out_o of_o that_o divine_a mouth_n of_o he_o and_o much_o more_o when_o i_o have_v hear_v so_o many_o and_o so_o often_o from_o he_o nay_o i_o hold_v it_o to_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o impossible_a thing_n unless_o our_o lord_n shall_v permit_v it_o in_o respect_n of_o my_o sin_n that_o ever_o i_o can_v loose_v the_o memory_n of_o this_o blessing_n or_o that_o any_o creature_n can_v ever_o so_o possess_v i_o as_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o instant_o be_v free_a by_o recover_v the_o remembrance_n of_o this_o lord_n it_o happen_v to_o i_o sometime_o with_o some_o ghostly_a father_n of_o i_o for_o i_o always_o love_v they_o much_o who_o govern_v my_o soul_n in_o regard_n that_o i_o take_v they_o true_o as_o in_o the_o place_n of_o almighty_a god_n himself_o and_o i_o think_v it_o be_v ever_o there_o where_o i_o employ_v my_o affection_n most_o that_o esteem_v myself_o to_o be_v in_o security_n with_o they_o i_o will_v be_v apt_a to_o show_v they_o extraordinary_a civilitye_n whereas_o they_o on_o the_o other_o side_n as_o be_v great_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n will_v be_v not_o only_o careful_a but_o fearful_a lest_o i_o shall_v fasten_v or_o tie_v myself_o too_o much_o to_o they_o though_o it_o shall_v be_v in_o a_o most_o innocent_a manner_n and_o they_o will_v show_v themselves_o even_o to_o be_v displease_v at_o it_o now_o this_o grow_v in_o i_o after_o i_o have_v make_v myself_o subject_a to_o be_v be_v direct_v and_o even_o command_v by_o they_o for_o before_o i_o do_v not_o bear_v they_o so_o much_o love_n but_o the_o while_n i_o confess_v i_o will_v be_v laugh_v sometime_o within_o myself_o to_o consider_v how_o extreme_o they_o be_v deceive_v though_o yet_o i_o will_v not_o always_o be_v tell_v they_o so_o clear_o how_o little_a i_o use_v 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and_o even_o confound_v in_o the_o presence_n of_o almighty_a god_n to_o see_v that_o what_o his_o divine_a majesty_n can_v not_o finish_v in_o my_o soul_n through_o my_o fault_n in_o such_o a_o multitude_n of_o year_n since_o i_o use_v prayer_n and_o wherein_o he_o begin_v to_o do_v i_o favour_n he_o have_v yet_o be_v able_a to_o accomplish_v in_o they_o within_o three_o month_n yea_o and_o even_o with_o some_o of_o they_o in_o three_o day_n with_o do_v they_o also_o far_o less_o favour_n then_o to_o i_o though_o yet_o withal_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o our_o bless_a lord_n pay_v they_o so_o well_o for_o their_o pain_n that_o they_o be_v all_o very_o far_o from_o be_v sorry_a to_o have_v do_v whatsoever_o they_o have_v do_v for_o the_o love_n of_o he_o for_o this_o purpose_n i_o can_v wish_v that_o we_o may_v call_v to_o mind_n how_o many_o year_n they_o be_v since_o we_o make_v our_o profession_n and_o have_v use_v mental_a prayer_n not_o yet_o for_o the_o give_v they_o any_o trouble_n by_o make_v they_o turn_v back_o who_o have_v make_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o way_n in_o a_o short_a time_n and_o to_o get_v they_o to_o go_v but_o our_o pace_n which_o be_v as_o much_o as_o it_o will_v be_v to_o make_v they_o who_o fly_v like_o eagle_n through_o the_o favour_n which_o it_o have_v please_v almighty_a god_n to_o do_v they_o to_o walk_v the_o slow_a dull_a pace_n of_o a_o shackle_a hen_n but_o to_o the_o end_n that_o we_o may_v grow_v to_o carry_v the_o honour_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n in_o our_o eye_n and_o then_o if_o we_o find_v these_o sister_n of_o we_o to_o be_v humble_a who_o we_o see_v to_o be_v so_o forward_o in_o the_o way_n of_o spirit_n that_o we_o shall_v give_v they_o still_o the_o reins_n for_o certain_o our_o bless_a lord_n who_o have_v do_v they_o so_o great_a favour_n already_o will_v never_o suffer_v they_o to_o break_v their_o neck_n by_o fall_v down_o as_o from_o some_o dangerous_a rock_n they_o commit_v and_o trust_v themselves_o in_o the_o hand_n of_o almighty_a god_n for_o this_o benefit_n do_v they_o reap_v by_o the_o truth_n which_o faith_n teach_v they_o and_o shall_v not_o we_o also_o trust_v they_o there_o but_o document_n must_v we_o limit_v and_o confine_v they_o by_o our_o narrow_a measure_n according_a to_o the_o meanness_n &_o straightness_n of_o our_o own_o poor_a mind_n no_o no_o this_o must_v not_o be_v but_o rather_o if_o ourselves_o can_v arrive_v to_o be_v owner_n of_o those_o strong_a affection_n and_o firm_a resolution_n which_o abound_v in_o they_o for_o these_o thing_n can_v be_v well_o understand_v without_o experience_n let_v we_o procure_v to_o humble_v ourselves_o and_o not_o condemn_v they_o for_o else_o by_o seem_v to_o have_v a_o care_n of_o their_o advantage_n and_o profit_n we_o shall_v deprive_v ourselves_o of_o our_o own_o and_o we_o shall_v also_o loose_v the_o occasion_n which_o our_o lord_n show_v we_o so_o fair_a for_o our_o own_o great_a humility_n and_o that_o we_o may_v the_o better_o understand_v how_o much_o be_v want_v to_o we_o as_o also_o how_o much_o more_o absolute_o those_o other_o soul_n be_v likely_a to_o be_v untie_v and_o free_v from_o worldly_a thing_n than_o we_o and_o how_o much_o near_o they_o be_v approach_v to_o almighty_a god_n than_o we_o since_o we_o see_v that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v come_v so_o much_o close_o up_o towards_o they_o than_o us._n for_o my_o part_n i_o can_v understand_v no_o more_o in_o this_o case_n neither_o indeed_o have_v i_o any_o desire_n to_o understand_v more_o then_o that_o i_o have_v rather_o have_v such_o prayer_n as_o have_v be_v obtain_v and_o exercise_v but_o a_o short_a time_n may_v be_v find_v to_o have_v great_a effect_n and_o which_o instant_o appear_v for_o it_o be_v impossible_a that_o a_o creature_n shall_v be_v content_a to_o throw_v away_o a_o whole_a world_n at_o once_o upon_o the_o only_o reason_n of_o please_v almighty_a god_n without_o a_o mighty_a force_n of_o love_n than_o such_o a_o other_o kind_n of_o prayer_n as_o shall_v have_v continue_v many_o year_n and_o yet_o never_o in_o fine_a have_v make_v a_o end_n of_o resolve_v upon_o any_o more_o at_o the_o last_o then_o at_o the_o first_o to_o do_v aniething_fw-mi for_o the_o pure_a love_n of_o almighty_a god_n unless_o it_o be_v some_o poor_a little_a fiddle_v babble_n which_o be_v no_o big_a than_o a_o grain_n of_o salt_n which_o have_v neither_o bulk_n nor_o weight_n but_o be_v such_o as_o that_o any_o bird_n may_v be_v able_a to_o carry_v it_o away_o in_o her_o bill_n for_o i_o confess_v we_o hold_v it_o not_o for_o a_o matter_n
near_o they_o with_o hallow_v candle_n candle_n a_o excellent_a advice_n take_v heed_n of_o this_o great_a danger_n danger_n consider_v this_o point_n much_o and_o often_o often_o note_v this_o good_a conclusion_n upon_o the_o praemise_n praemise_n note_v this_o very_o well_o for_o nothing_o import_v more_o they_o this_o this_o a_o great_a and_o gross_a error_n error_n a_o point_n of_o very_o great_a importance_n importance_n note_n note_n this_o be_v the_o beginning_n of_o many_o great_a blessing_n blessing_n her_o entrance_n into_o the_o receave_n supernatural_a favour_n favour_n it_o work_n not_o indeed_o by_o way_n of_o use_v discourse_n or_o make_v inference_n but_o yet_o it_o work_v by_o way_n of_o contemplation_n and_o admiration_n of_o the_o infinite_a object_n be_v god_n who_o be_v set_v before_o it_o it_o note_n note_n a_o great_a &_o foolish_a error_n error_n behold_v here_o the_o true_a &_o great_a impediment_n impediment_n this_o saint_n be_v admirable_a in_o all_o the_o comparison_n which_o the_o use_n use_n this_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o engine_n with_o certain_a little_a leather_n bucket_n fasten_v to_o the_o side_n of_o a_o very_a great_a wheel_n which_o dra_n be_v up_o very_o much_o water_n with_o great_a ease_n in_o spanish_a it_o be_v call_v a_o noria_n noria_n a_o good_a lesson_n lesson_n a_o consideration_n of_o much_o comfort_n comfort_n a_o hard_a question_n most_o clear_o and_o excellent_o answer_v answer_v mark_v well_o these_o masculine_a and_o massy_a word_n word_n note_n note_n this_o suspending_a of_o the_o thought_n or_o understanding_n of_o which_o the_o saint_n speak_v be_v a_o present_v a_o multitude_n of_o supernatural_a and_o divine_a object_n before_o it_o together_o with_o a_o copious_a infusion_n of_o light_n which_o be_v decern_v by_o it_o after_o a_o kind_n of_o intuitive_a way_n at_o once_o without_o discourse_n or_o trouble_v and_o this_o light_n rest_v not_o there_o but_o passes-on_a to_o the_o will_n and_o grow_n to_o be_v as_o so_o much_o fire_n for_o the_o inflame_a it_o in_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o the_o soul_n do_v more_o proper_o suffer_v here_o then_o act_n and_o now_o the_o saint_n give_v great_a warning_n that_o people_n be_v not_o so_o foolish_a as_o to_o offer_v at_o these_o thing_n of_o themselves_o a_o great_a truth_n truth_n a_o dangerous_a &_o proud_n foolish_a error_n error_n observe_v the_o generous_a way_n of_o this_o great_a saint_n saint_n note_v this_o very_a well_o well_o a_o great_a praise_n of_o a_o large_a hart_n hart_n how_o saint_n be_v to_o be_v imitate_v &_o how_o admire_v admire_v note_v this_o well_o well_o a_o necessary_a advice_n advice_n our_o daily_a bread_n bread_n a_o description_n of_o a_o good_a director_n in_o matter_n of_o spirit_n spirit_n note_n note_n how_o the_o will_n be_v to_o carry_v itself_o to_o the_o other_o faculty_n of_o the_o mind_n mind_n the_o blessing_n of_o quiet_a prayer_n prayer_n note_n note_n note_n note_n how_o the_o soul_n be_v to_o carry_v itself_o in_o quiet_a prayer_n prayer_n note_n note_n a_o true_a &_o happy_a comparison_n comparison_n the_o good_a spirit_n very_o easy_o discern_v from_o the_o bad_a bad_a note_v this_o point_n above_o all_o all_o a_o most_o necessary_a document_n document_n a_o great_a blessing_n by_o mean_n of_o this_o prayer_n prayer_n these_o be_v the_o more_o generous_a mind_n mind_n as_o when_o one_o be_v die_v die_v this_o be_v a_o admirable_a state_n of_o mind_n mind_n the_o true_a state_n of_o the_o power_n of_o the_o mind_n in_o this_o prayer_n how_o there_o be_v a_o union_n in_o this_o prayer_n &_o how_o there_o be_v none_o none_o the_o great_a effect_n of_o this_o high_a prayer_n prayer_n the_o difference_n betweme_v elevation_n and_o union_n union_n she_o proceed_v in_o declare_v the_o great_a effect_n of_o this_o high_a prayer_n prayer_n a_o consideration_n of_o strange_a comfort_n comfort_n this_o be_v strange_a indeed_o indeed_o the_o strong_a pillar_n of_o prayer_n prayer_n consider_v this_o very_a well_o well_o take_v heed_n heed_n a_o most_o dangerous_a temptation_n temptation_n consider_v and_o admire_v this_o passage_n passage_n the_o manner_n &_o nature_n of_o rapt_n rapt_n the_o effect_n of_o rapt_n rapt_n the_o strange_a state_n of_o mind_n which_o perhaps_o be_v describe_v in_o the_o whole_a book_n book_n the_o effect_n of_o rapt_n rapt_n this_o saint_n it_o admirable_a in_o her_o comparison_n comparison_n other_o great_a effect_n of_o true_a rapt_n rapt_n her_o great_a zeal_n for_o the_o conversion_n of_o king_n king_n she_o allude_v to_o comet_n and_o blaze_a star_n star_n a_o rare_a expression_n expression_n anopinion_n which_o be_v more_o probable_a then_o true_a true_a this_o seem_v to_o have_v be_v a_o foolish_a and_o ill-favoured_a kind_n of_o error_n in_o those_o other_o other_o that_o be_v by_o several_a vision_n vision_n a_o sweet_a and_o just_a complaint_n and_o worthy_a of_o the_o saint_n who_o make_v it_o it_o by_o vision_n vision_n believe_v and_o consider_v this_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n a_o doubt_n which_o can_v easy_o be_v solue_v solue_v she_o grow_n now_o to_o make_v serious_a enquiry_n after_o a_o good_a director_n director_n the_o only_a excellent_a course_n course_n this_o holy_a man_n enter_v often_o into_o the_o story_n of_o our_o saint_n saint_n this_o be_v no_o improbable_a opinion_n though_o it_o be_v no_o true_a one_o one_o so_o good_a a_o begin_n be_v almost_o a_o kind_n of_o perfect_v the_o work_n work_n the_o saint_n begann_v here_o to_o be_v happy_a happy_a this_o be_v a_o wise_a man_n &_o likely_a to_o work_n wonder_v upon_o a_o soul_n soul_n he_o lose_v nothing_o by_o leave_v to_o be_v a_o duke_n for_o god_n sake_n sake_n this_o must_v needs_o have_v be_v a_o holy_a and_o a_o wise_a man_n man_n a_o little_a of_o this_o go_v far_o far_o so_o true_a it_o be_v that_o god_n be_v god_n god_n the_o mighty_a force_n and_o power_n of_o any_o one_o supernatural_a word_n word_n the_o infinite_a difference_n betweme_v supernatural_a word_n of_o god_n &_o all_o other_o other_o a_o strange_a encounter_n encounter_n great_a power_n of_o our_o lord_n lord_n how_o quick_o she_o get_v courage_n against_o the_o devil_n devil_n a_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n this_o be_v a_o very_a ill_a advice_n indeed_o indeed_o the_o incredible_a dear_a sweetness_n of_o our_o b._n lord_n to_o a_o soul_n soul_n observe_v this_o well_o well_o this_o saint_n you_o see_v be_v certain_o no_o protestant_n protestant_n the_o masque_n of_o pride_n pride_n a_o admirable_a example_n of_o penance_n penance_n humane_a frailty_n and_o celestial_a glory_n be_v not_o compatible_a compatible_a imaginary_a vision_n represent_v to_o &_o by_o the_o sense_n be_v of_o the_o low_a rank_n &_o most_o subject_a to_o danger_n danger_n the_o great_a effect_n of_o a_o admirable_a and_o most_o sublime_a vision_n vision_n the_o difference_n be_v easy_o find_v both_o between_v a_o true_a vision_n and_o a_o false_a and_o between_v a_o true_a vision_n and_o a_o fancy_n fancy_n a_o plain_a demonstration_n demonstration_n in_o order_n to_o the_o guide_v of_o other_o a_o director_n may_v easy_o have_v too_o mean_a a_o optnion_n of_o himself_o himself_o this_o saint_n be_v huge_o vex_v by_o the_o insatisfaction_n which_o she_o receive_v from_o many_o spiritual_a man_n man_n this_o be_v very_o fit_a to_o be_v know_v know_v this_o be_v a_o true_a fortiter_fw-la sed_fw-la suaviter_fw-la suaviter_fw-la this_o saint_n be_v most_o strange_o familiar_o and_o supernatural_o visit_v by_o our_o b_o lord_n lord_n a_o strange_a task_n which_o be_v put_v even_o by_o holy_a man_n upon_o this_o saint_n saint_n the_o more_o she_o be_v discountenance_v even_o by_o good_a man_n so_o much_o the_o more_o high_o be_v she_o favour_v by_o our_o lord_n lord_n a_o rare_a comparison_n comparison_n still_o more_o &_o more_o excellent_a comparison_n comparison_n a_o excellent_a &_o most_o necessary_a advice_n advice_n a_o strange_a mixture_n of_o affection_n but_o such_o as_o god_n know_v how_o to_o give_v give_v this_o grief_n be_v after_o the_o rate_n of_o the_o love_n love_n a_o very_a safe_a and_o wise_a way_n of_o proceed_v proceed_v this_o be_v a_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n here_o follow_v a_o whole_a world_n of_o sad_a temptation_n &_o trouble_n trouble_n the_o difference_n betweme_v divine_a and_o diabolical_a grief_n of_o mind_n mind_n the_o way_n &_o manner_n of_o a_o great_a desolation_n desolation_n a_o pretty_a humour_n humour_n a_o happy_a state_n state_n she_o make_v along_o discourse_n of_o the_o diabolical_a temptation_n &_o trouble_n to_o which_o she_o be_v subject_a subject_a the_o excellency_n of_o holy_a water_n water_n a_o great_a and_o just_a consolation_n consolation_n a_o question_n worthy_a of_o he_o that_o ask_v it_o it_o this_o be_v a_o very_a great_a truth_n but_o the_o accent_n must_v be_v put_v upon_o the_o word_n indeed_o indeed_o and_o though_o she_o shall_v have_v continue_v to_o ask_v it_o i_o dare_v say_v our_o lord_n will_v not_o have_v grant_v it_o it_o a_o must_v certain_a truth_n truth_n a_o wise_a &_o solid_a truth_n truth_n exercise_n of_o prayer_n and_o love_n of_o honour_n agree_v not_o well_o together_o together_o this_o be_v not_o to_o be_v literal_o understand_v for_o the_o devil_n can_v prepare_v no_o place_n for_o a_o soul_n in_o hell_n but_o by_o the_o decree_n of_o almighty_a god_n upon_o the_o particular_a judgement_n give_v at_o the_o death_n of_o the_o party_n party_n the_o sin_n of_o ingratitude_n discorrespondence_n and_o inordinate_a affection_n to_o creature_n which_o she_o do_v commit_v and_o the_o great_a and_o mortal_a sin_n which_o she_o will_v most_o certain_o have_v commit_v if_o the_o mercy_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v not_o prevent_v and_o withhold_v she_o she_o hell_n be_v represent_v to_o she_o in_o spirit_n after_o a_o most_o subtle_a manner_n and_o it_o be_v show_v to_o she_o and_o describe_v by_o she_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o such_o creature_n may_v be_v capable_a thereof_o as_o be_v endue_v not_o only_o with_o mind_n but_o with_o body_n body_n the_o excellent_a fruit_n which_o this_o saint_n do_v gather_v from_o this_o great_a favour_n which_o seem_v to_o be_v the_o sole_a cause_n why_o our_o b._n lord_n be_v please_v to_o impair_v this_o favour_n favour_n the_o great_a benefit_n of_o this_o favour_n favour_n vide_fw-la supra_fw-la fol_n 471._o 471._o a_o sweet_a effect_n of_o a_o sad_a cause_n cause_n a_o sad_a and_o strange_a proceed_n proceed_n how_o one_o suspicion_n u._fw-mi wont_a to_o three_o itself_o close_o upon_o another_o another_o a_o holy_a &_o wise_a man_n man_n all_o these_o thing_n and_o the_o like_a as_o namely_o dart_n or_o chain_n or_o crown_n or_o jewel_n etc._n etc._n be_v not_o to_o be_v understoood_a after_o a_o gross_a &_o material_a way_n but_o yet_o that_o real_o they_o have_v truth_n in_o their_o be_v represent_v distinct_o &_o clear_o to_o the_o imagination_n of_o the_o party_n and_o they_o chief_o serve_v as_o testimony_n &_o sign_n of_o those_o interior_a grace_n &_o virtue_n which_o use_v to_o be_v imprint_v upon_o soul_n at_o those_o very_a time_n by_o the_o mercy_n of_o our_o b._n lord_n lord_n she_o mean_v herself_o herself_o this_o saint_n be_v a_o excellent_a person_n to_o make_v a_o friend_n of_o of_o a_o very_a strange_a demonstration_n of_o a_o most_o civil_a noble_a and_o friendly_a hart_n hart_n our_o bless_a lord_n be_v still_o as_o good_a as_o his_o word_n word_n the_o great_a charity_n &_o humility_n of_o the_o saint_n saint_n how_o devout_a this_o dear_a saint_n be_v be_v they_o be_v very_o noble_a though_o they_o be_v poor_a poor_a the_o devil_n be_v still_o himself_o himself_o this_o be_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o world_n as_o wherein_o thing_n will_v ever_o go_v thus_o thus_o a_o true_a answer_n to_o all_o the_o devil_n objection_n objection_n note_v the_o description_n which_o the_o saint_n make_v here_o of_o her_o religious_a religious_a this_o fast_a of_o the_o order_n be_v not_o so_o strict_a and_o rigorous_a as_o that_o of_o the_o church_n but_o be_v rather_o a_o forbearance_n of_o half_a the_o meal_n than_o a_o fast_a fast_a this_o point_n of_o have_v so_o very_a few_o in_o a_o monastery_n be_v partly_o mean_v for_o they_o who_o be_v to_o live_v in_o any_o place_n on_o alm_n and_o partly_o because_o the_o saint_n have_v see_v some_o disorder_n by_o have_v too_o many_o religious_a in_o other_o house_n and_o yet_o the_o saint_n herself_o come_v afterward_o to_o admit_v of_o twenty_o in_o stead_n of_o twelue_v and_o will_v perhaps_o have_v admit_v more_o if_o she_o have_v find_v reason_n for_o it_o it_o she_o inveigh_v with_o much_o reason_n against_o vain_a compliment_n and_o especial_o among_o religious_a people_n people_n a_o excellent_a &_o most_o useful_a document_n document_n a_o true_a noble_a &_o most_o generous_a hart_n hart_n great_a effect_n of_o a_o vision_n