to_o want_v nor_o how_o to_o abound_v apt_a to_o murmur_v and_o repine_v in_o strait_o and_o to_o be_v lift_v up_o and_o grow_v secure_a in_o enlargement_n o_o lord_n in_o every_o condition_n i_o need_v thy_o grace_n to_o teach_v i_o how_o to_o behave_v myself_o o_o show_v i_o thy_o way_n and_o lead_v i_o therein_o for_o thy_o namesake_n also_o the_o lord_n teach_v i_o hence_o that_o i_o ought_v to_o be_v patient_a under_o his_o hand_n when_o he_o hide_v his_o face_n and_o to_o resign_v up_o my_o will_n to_o his_o will_n inasmuch_o as_o i_o do_v not_o know_v what_o be_v good_a for_o myself_o the_o lord_n see_v i_o shall_v be_v worse_o it_o may_v be_v if_o i_o enjoy_v more_o than_o i_o do_v and_o therefore_o in_o wisdom_n and_o mercy_n he_o keep_v i_o in_o a_o low_a condition_n my_o confusion_n sometime_o have_v be_v so_o great_a that_o i_o have_v be_v so_o unsettle_a and_o at_o such_o a_o loss_n in_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v all_o former_a work_n have_v be_v question_v and_o judge_v as_o nothing_o in_o the_o hour_n of_o such_o temptation_n the_o lord_n teach_v i_o beside_o prayer_n and_o search_v into_o my_o soul_n to_o have_v recourse_n to_o former_a experience_n psal_n 77._o 10_o 11._o and_o psal_n 85._o octob._n 11._o in_o the_o morning_n i_o bewail_v it_o before_o god_n that_o i_o be_v still_o at_o a_o loss_n to_o know_v whether_o i_o love_v he_o and_o after_o prayer_n i_o read_v 1_o joh._n 2_o ch_n and_o i_o be_v make_v in_o a_o more_o special_a manner_n to_o take_v notice_n of_o v_o 5._o whoso_o keep_v his_o word_n in_o he_o very_o be_v the_o love_n of_o god_n perfect_v methinks_v i_o see_v god_n answer_v my_o prayer_n and_o tell_v i_o out_o of_o this_o word_n that_o i_o love_v he_o in_o he_o very_o 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d it_o be_v a_o sure_a sign_n of_o love_n to_o god_n we_o need_v not_o doubt_v of_o it_o if_o we_o keep_v his_o word_n now_o if_o i_o know_v my_o own_o heart_n i_o desire_v to_o do_v so_o if_o the_o love_n of_o god_n be_v perfect_v in_o he_o that_o keep_v his_o word_n then_o sure_o it_o be_v begin_v in_o he_o that_o desire_v and_o endeavour_n to_o keep_v his_o word_n jan._n 25._o the_o lord_n help_v i_o with_o tear_n to_o bewall_n my_o abomination_n even_o my_o original_a and_o actual_a sin_n my_o formality_n earthliness_n alienation_n from_o he_o etc._n etc._n therein_o he_o do_v remember_v and_o fulfil_v that_o gracious_a promise_n ezek._n 36._o 31._o i_o find_v godly_a sorrow_n sweet_a not_o only_o in_o the_o root_n and_o fountain_n thereof_o it_o be_v a_o covenant_n blessing_n but_o in_o the_o very_a act_n of_o it_o feb._n 2._o in_o the_o evening_n upon_o my_o bed_n the_o lord_n do_v gracious_o melt_v my_o heart_n in_o the_o sight_n of_o sin_n under_o this_o consideration_n that_o it_o be_v against_o infinite_a love_n i_o be_v ashamed_a confound_v and_o abash_v because_o i_o have_v so_o long_o slight_v neglect_v rebel_v against_o a_o god_n of_o love_n my_o soul_n even_o tremble_v at_o it_o jan._n 15._o 1655._o have_v be_v the_o day_n before_o with_o one_o under_o great_a temptation_n and_o hear_v of_o another_o under_o a_o wound_a spirit_n my_o heart_n be_v melt_v in_o prayer_n whilst_o i_o be_v praise_v god_n for_o his_o long_a patience_n in_o the_o day_n of_o my_o sin_v and_o his_o tenderness_n and_o gentleness_n towards_o i_o in_o my_o conversion_n jan._n 16._o i_o find_v my_o heart_n draw_v out_o to_o a_o recumbence_n on_o jesus_n christ_n the_o spirit_n say_v come_v rev._n 22._o 17._o christ_n say_v come_v joh._n 7._o 37._o and_o the_o father_n say_v come_v mat._n 22._o 4._o and_o who_o be_o i_o o_o lord_n that_o i_o shall_v gainsay_v such_o invitation_n behold_v o_o lord_n i_o come_v and_o put_v my_o trust_n in_o thou_o jan._n 26._o i_o preach_v twice_o and_o have_v very_o gracious_a assistance_n much_o beyond_o expectation_n in_o the_o week_n before_o i_o be_v much_o indispose_v and_o can_v not_o get_v my_o heart_n to_o a_o settle_a meditation_n of_o what_o i_o be_v to_o speak_v i_o be_v under_o a_o great_a sense_n of_o my_o impotency_n and_o labour_v in_o the_o fire_n till_o saturday_n afternoon_n when_o i_o cry_v to_o the_o lord_n he_o be_v gracious_a to_o i_o and_o answer_v i_o after_o my_o work_n be_v over_o i_o be_v much_o assault_v with_o spiritual_a pride_n i_o see_v plain_o the_o reason_n of_o god_n delay_v his_o assistance_n and_o give_v i_o such_o sense_n of_o my_o weakness_n be_v to_o keep_v i_o humble_a every_o way_n o_o lord_n i_o see_v my_o own_o vileness_n when_o thou_o withdrawe_v from_o i_o than_o my_o heart_n die_v and_o my_o strength_n fail_v and_o i_o be_o ready_a to_o be_v froward_a when_o thou_o enlarge_v i_o than_o i_o be_o ready_a to_o be_v puff_v up_o oh_o pardon_n and_o purge_v away_o all_o my_o sin_n for_o thy_o name_n sake_n mar._n 23._o in_o sing_v the_o 15_o the_o psalm_n i_o find_v comfort_n my_o conscience_n bear_v i_o witness_v that_o i_o labour_v after_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v set_v down_o as_o character_n of_o a_o citizen_n of_o the_o new_a jerusalem_n sept._n 28._o i_o have_v sweet_a meditation_n upon_o my_o bed_n i_o find_v god_n in_o my_o morning_n prayer_n also_o in_o private_a and_o assistance_n in_o preach_v but_o not_o such_o a_o influence_n of_o the_o spirit_n in_o public_a prayer_n as_o i_o have_v sometime_o find_v yet_o i_o have_v beg_v of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v give_v i_o his_o presence_n in_o public_a as_o a_o token_n that_o he_o accept_v of_o i_o and_o my_o work_n but_o he_o withdraw_v i_o fear_v hereupon_o that_o i_o have_v tempt_v god_n and_o sin_v in_o beg_v new_a sign_n of_o his_o favour_n when_o i_o have_v have_v such_o great_a experience_n of_o his_o goodness_n many_o time_n before_o lord_n forgive_v the_o sin_n of_o thy_o servant_n nou._n 23._o examine_v myself_o about_o a_o work_n of_o grace_n i_o have_v some_o comfort_n from_o ps_n 40._o 8._o delight_n in_o do_v the_o will_n of_o god_n be_v a_o argument_n of_o the_o law_n write_v in_o the_o heart_n now_o i_o find_v that_o i_o have_v a_o delight_n especial_o in_o some_o duty_n as_o visit_v the_o sick_a comfort_v of_o distress_a conscience_n etc._n etc._n i_o be_v somewhat_o terrify_v from_o that_o word_n in_o job_n ch_n 42._o 7._o i_o be_v afraid_a lest_o in_o my_o preach_v i_o shall_v sometime_o speak_v those_o thing_n of_o god_n that_o be_v not_o right_a and_o soon_o after_o go_v to_o prayer_n i_o be_v in_o time_n of_o prayer_n comfort_v from_o joh._n 16._o 13._o the_o spirit_n shall_v guide_v you_o into_o all_o truth_n dec._n 7._o i_o find_v the_o lord_n very_o much_o answer_v my_o prayer_n in_o give_v very_o gracious_a and_o powerful_a assistance_n both_o in_o prayer_n and_o preach_v at_o trinity_n lecture_n on_o sabbath_n day_n i_o may_v say_v as_o jaber_n 1_o chron._n 4._o 10._o who_o say_v oh_o that_o thou_o will_v bless_v i_o indeed_o and_o be_v with_o i_o and_o god_n grant_v my_o request_n the_o next_o morning_n there_o come_v a_o woman_n to_o i_o and_o say_v she_o be_v trouble_v at_o the_o sermon_n that_o she_o can_v scarce_o sleep_v all_o night_n for_o she_o bid_v not_o go_v so_o far_o as_o the_o scribe_n and_o pharisee_n and_o that_o which_o add_v to_o the_o mercy_n be_v god_n keep_v i_o humble_a after_o this_o enlargement_n mar._n 31._o 1657._o i_o have_v a_o very_a evident_a answer_n of_o prayer_n i_o be_v at_o a_o pinch_n for_o some_o money_n i_o beg_v of_o god_n that_o i_o may_v be_v supply_v and_o that_o afternoon_n one_o to_o who_o i_o have_v lend_v a_o little_a money_n bring_v it_o i_o which_o be_v enough_o for_o my_o present_a necessity_n the_o circumstance_n be_v very_o remarkable_a i_o seek_v the_o lord_n also_o to_o be_v with_o the_o parish_n in_o the_o choice_n of_o their_o churchwarden_n and_o there_o be_v those_o two_o choose_v who_o if_o i_o have_v have_v the_o nomination_n i_o shall_v have_v choose_v myself_o apr._n 21._o i_o keep_v a_o day_n of_o fast_a to_o the_o lord_n i_o find_v god_n gracious_o with_o i_o in_o prayer_n the_o chief_a thing_n that_o i_o propound_v be_v to_o seek_v direction_n as_o to_o my_o preach_v on_o weekday_n among_o other_o thing_n i_o beg_v of_o god_n a_o supply_n of_o my_o want_n be_v in_o some_o strait_n for_o want_n of_o money_n that_o very_a night_n one_o bring_v i_o 10_o s._n for_o preach_v a_o funeral_n sermon_n which_o i_o expect_v not_o and_o the_o next_o morning_n the_o churchwarden_n of_o st._n andrews_n parish_n bring_v i_o 7_o l._n and_o upward_o whereby_o i_o be_v sufficient_o supply_v i_o can_v not_o but_o take_v notice_n of_o
of_o the_o lord_n supper_n i_o find_v god_n gracious_a to_o i_o in_o preparation_n in_o the_o morning_n when_o i_o awake_v god_n bring_v to_o my_o remembrance_n jer._n 2._o 32._o can_v a_o maid_n forget_v her_o ornament_n or_o a_o bride_n her_o attire_n i_o consider_v i_o be_v to_o meet_v and_o sup_v with_o my_o bridegroom_n the_o lord_n jesus_n and_o then_o consider_v what_o ornament_n and_o attire_n will_v best_o please_v he_o that_o i_o may_v put_v they_o on_o and_o these_o be_v present_v to_o my_o thought_n some_o as_o i_o lie_v in_o bed_n and_o some_o afterward_o as_o lovely_a and_o desirable_a in_o the_o sight_n of_o christ_n which_o i_o determine_v to_o put_v on_o 1_o sy_n a_o meek_a and_o quiet_a spirit_n 1_o pet._n 3._o 4._o 2_o lie_n faith_n cant._n 4._o 9_o thou_o hash_fw-mi ravish_v my_o heart_n my_o sister_n my_o spouse_n with_o one_o of_o thy_o eye_n faith_n have_v the_o office_n of_o a_o eye_n in_o the_o soul_n joh._n 6._o 40._o every_o one_o that_o see_v and_o believe_v look_v unto_o jesus_n heb_n 12._o 2._o 3_o lie_v love_n cant._n 4._o 10._o how_o fair_a be_v thy_o love_n my_o sister_n etc._n etc._n 4_o lie_v humility_n math._n 11._o 29._o learn_v of_o i_o for_o i_o be_o lowly_a in_o heart_n 5_o lie_v self-denial_n and_o forsake_v of_o every_o thing_n that_o come_v in_o competition_n with_o christ_n ps_n 45_o 10_o 11._o harken_v o_o daughter_n and_o consider_v forget_v thy_o own_o people_n and_o thy_o father_n house_n so_o shall_v the_o king_n great_o desire_v thy_o beauty_n 6_o lie_v a_o obediential_a frame_n of_o heart_n math._n 10._o 20_o 21._o all_o these_o have_v i_o observe_v from_o my_o youth_n jesus_n behold_v he_o love_v he_o 7_o lie_v a_o heart_n resolve_v to_o hold_v and_o maintain_v frequent_a converse_n and_o communion_n with_o he_o cant._n 2._o 14_o let_v i_o see_v thy_o countenance_n let_v i_o hear_v thy_o voice_n for_o sweet_a be_v thy_o voice_n and_o thy_o countenance_n be_v comely_a 8_o lie_v uprightness_n prov._n 11._o 20._o 9_o lie_n a_o holy_a fear_n of_o god_n and_o hope_n in_o his_o mercy_n ps_n 147._o 11._o 10_o lie_n fruitfulness_n cant._n 4._o 16_o 5._o 1._o but_o though_o god_n gracious_o assist_v i_o in_o preparation_n yet_o in_o the_o time_n of_o receive_v my_o heart_n be_v flat_a and_o dead_a as_o soon_o as_o the_o sacrament_n be_v end_v i_o retire_v to_o my_o chamber_n to_o to_o pray_v and_o as_o i_o be_v pray_v that_o scripture_n be_v bring_v to_o my_o remembrance_n rom._n 3._o 3_o 4._o shall_v their_o unbelief_n make_v the_o faith_n of_o god_n of_o none_o effect_v god_n forbid_v i_o argue_v thence_o that_o the_o sin_n of_o my_o holy_a thing_n my_o deadness_n and_o want_n of_o holy_a and_o due_a affection_n in_o time_n of_o receive_v shall_v not_o make_v void_a what_o god_n have_v promise_v in_o and_o by_o this_o ordinance_n but_o that_o the_o cup_n be_v to_o i_o the_o communion_n of_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n and_o the_o new_a testament_n in_o his_o blood_n and_o the_o breed_v the_o communion_n of_o the_o body_n of_o christ_n this_o do_v strengthen_v my_o faith_n to_o depend_v upon_o god_n for_o the_o benefit_n signify_v and_o seal_v by_o that_o ordinance_n notwithstanding_o the_o indisposition_n of_o my_o heart_n in_o the_o time_n of_o receive_v sept._n 29._o as_o i_o be_v muse_v on_o that_o rich_a promise_n make_v to_o abraham_n gen._n 15._o 1._o fear_v not_o abraham_n i_o be_o thy_o shield_n and_o thy_o exceed_a great_a reward_n which_o be_v sufficient_a to_o bear_v up_o the_o soul_n under_o the_o fear_n and_o danger_n of_o any_o evil_n and_o against_o the_o loss_n and_o want_n of_o any_o good_a thing_n i_o consider_v what_o warrant_n i_o have_v to_o apply_v that_o promise_n and_o present_o that_o scripture_n be_v hint_v to_o i_o gal._n 3._o 9_o they_o which_o be_v of_o faith_n be_v bless_v with_o faithful_a abraham_n i_o be_v strengthen_v and_o comfort_v by_o it_o twice_o in_o this_o weak_a i_o observe_v that_o set_v upon_o worldly_a business_n which_o call_v hasty_o upon_o i_o before_o i_o have_v be_v at_o closet_n prayer_n and_o perform_v my_o usual_a meditation_n on_o the_o covenant_n and_o promise_n of_o god_n my_o heart_n grow_v out_o of_o frame_n and_o unsavoury_a and_o i_o be_v successless_a on_o both_o day_n oct._n 1._o sabbath_n day_n at_o my_o entrance_n on_o my_o morning_n meditation_n on_o god_n covenant_n i_o have_v a_o great_a combat_n in_o my_o spirit_n about_o my_o lay_v claim_n to_o god_n as_o my_o god_n have_v be_v late_o foil_v by_o my_o sin_n but_o god_n help_v i_o and_o show_v i_o out_o of_o his_o word_n that_o i_o may_v and_o ought_v to_o keep_v my_o hold_n of_o god_n as_o my_o god_n notwithstanding_o my_o often_o backslide_n from_o he_o jer._n 3._o 1_o 5_o 7_o 8._o yet_o v._n 19_o say_v god_n thou_o shall_v call_v i_o my_o father_n hos_n 2._o 5._o with_o 16._o the_o same_o evening_n consider_v how_o often_o and_o great_o i_o have_v sin_v and_o yet_o have_v be_v forgive_v i_o ponder_v on_o that_o scripture_n luke_n 7_o 47._o and_o see_v that_o i_o have_v cause_n to_o love_v the_o lord_n much_o because_o i_o have_v much_o forgive_v and_o consider_v how_o i_o shall_v show_v my_o love_n to_o god_n and_o that_o much_o these_o scripture_n be_v hint_v to_o i_o ps_n 40._o 16._o let_v such_o as_o love_v thy_o name_n say_v continual_o let_v the_o lord_n be_v magnify_v ps_n 97._o 10._o you_o that_o love_v the_o lord_n hate_v evil_a joh._n 14._o 10._o if_o you_o love_v i_o keep_v my_o commandment_n joh._n 21._o 15._o simon_n love_v thou_o i_o feed_v my_o sheep_n feed_v my_o lamb_n lord_n help_v i_o thus_o to_o show_v much_o love_n to_o thou_o oct._n 8._o have_v be_v overtake_v with_o the_o sin_n which_o easy_o beset_v i_o and_o have_v often_o foil_v i_o my_o spirit_n fall_v and_o my_o faith_n flag_v and_o i_o can_v not_o look_v upon_o god_n with_o any_o boldness_n be_v indispose_v to_o prayer_n yet_o in_o time_n of_o prayer_n god_n magnify_v his_o free_a grace_n to_o i_o and_o revive_v my_o soul_n with_o that_o word_n 1_o joh._n 2._o 1_o 2._o if_o any_o man_n sin_n we_o have_v a_o advocate_n etc._n etc._n after_o i_o have_v end_v my_o supplication_n i_o ponder_v on_o that_o scripture_n and_o be_v comfort_v against_o the_o sense_n of_o my_o sin_n by_o the_o advocateship_n of_o jesus_n christ_n who_o plead_v his_o propitiatory_a sacrifice_n as_o a_o satisfaction_n to_o his_o father_n justice_n for_o the_o sin_n of_o believer_n as_o oft_o as_o they_o fall_v into_o they_o and_o query_v with_o myself_o whether_o he_o will_v be_v a_o advocate_n to_o i_o to_o plead_v for_o i_o i_o be_v satisfy_v from_o that_o word_n joh._n 6._o 37._o he_o that_o come_v to_o i_o i_o will_v in_o no_o wise_a cast_v out_o i_o be_v also_o further_o encourage_v from_o heb._n 7._o 25._o i_o consider_v that_o the_o intercession_n of_o christ_n answer_v all_o charge_n and_o accusation_n that_o can_v be_v bring_v against_o those_o for_o who_o he_o intercede_v rom._n 8._o 33._o 34._o and_o that_o the_o intercession_n of_o christ_n keep_v we_o â—o_o firm_o in_o the_o love_n of_o god_n that_o nothing_o can_v be_v able_a to_o separate_v we_o from_o it_o rom._n 8._o 34._o 35_o 38_o 39_o i_o consider_v further_a that_o the_o person_n for_o who_o he_o intercede_v be_v such_o as_o come_v to_o god_n by_o he_o and_o that_o he_o intercede_v for_o they_o at_o all_o time_n when_o they_o be_v fall_v as_o well_o as_o when_o they_o stand_v when_o they_o be_v dead_a as_o well_o as_o when_o in_o a_o lively_a frame_n for_o he_o ever_o live_v to_o make_v intercession_n after_o these_o meditation_n my_o spirit_n revive_v and_o notwithstanding_o i_o be_v before_o bow_v down_o under_o the_o sense_n of_o guilt_n i_o go_v with_o boldness_n to_o god_n lean_v upon_o the_o merit_n and_o intercession_n of_o jesus_n christ_n oct._n 13._o my_o spirit_n be_v bow_v down_o with_o the_o sense_n of_o guilt_n because_o i_o be_v foil_v by_o a_o sin_n against_o which_o i_o have_v pray_v many_o year_n i_o be_v revive_v in_o read_v in_o my_o course_n 2_o cor._n 12._o 7_o 8_o 9_o whence_o i_o observe_v 1_o st_z god_n see_v it_o needful_a for_o some_o of_o his_o servant_n to_o meet_v with_o buffet_n 2_o lie_n when_o god_n le_fw-fr we_o loose_v any_o corruption_n a_o thorn_n in_o the_o flesh_n or_o a_o temptation_n a_o messenger_n of_o satan_n to_o buffet_v we_o it_o be_v to_o keep_v we_o humble_a and_o from_o be_v exalt_v 3_o lie_n god_n suffer_v his_o faithful_a servant_n sometime_o to_o pray_v long_o against_o corruption_n or_o temptation_n and_o yet_o can_v get_v it_o remove_v 4_o lie_n though_o my_o strength_n be_v not_o
deafness_n to_o his_o voice_n 2._o to_o put_v we_o upon_o more_o earnest_n seek_v of_o he_o 3._o to_o exercise_v and_o try_v our_o grace_n god_n proportion_n mercy_n according_a to_o his_o delay_n they_o be_v the_o great_a when_o give_v in_o sarah_n tarry_v long_o for_o a_o son_n and_o then_o have_v a_o isaac_n so_o do_v hanna_n but_o then_o have_v a_o samuel_n so_o elizabeth_n but_o then_o have_v a_o john_n my_o heart_n rejoice_v at_o this_o hope_v that_o god_n will_v give_v a_o high_a degree_n of_o brokenness_n of_o heart_n in_o his_o own_o due_a time_n though_o at_o present_a my_o heart_n be_v hard_o and_o i_o remember_v how_o hard_a mr._n bradfords_n heart_n be_v once_o as_o to_o his_o own_o sense_n and_o how_o eminent_a he_o be_v afterward_o for_o tenderness_n as_o m._n fox_n relate_v god_n be_v very_o good_a this_o day_n but_o oh_o how_o vile_a and_o sinful_a be_v i_o i_o feel_v a_o very_a proud_a vainglorious_a heart_n both_o in_o hear_v and_o after_o sermon_n be_v do_v but_o the_o lord_n chastise_v i_o for_o it_o for_o at_o night_n when_o i_o preach_v in_o the_o chapel_n the_o lord_n forsake_v i_o i_o find_v no_o assistance_n of_o his_o spirit_n either_o in_o prayer_n or_o preach_v but_o be_v much_o confound_v in_o both_o have_v little_a or_o no_o sense_n of_o the_o thing_n i_o speak_v of_o or_o pray_v for_o we_o read_v of_o naaman_n 2_o king_n 5._o 11._o that_o he_o expect_v a_o miraculous_a way_n of_o cure_n i_o think_v say_v he_o he_o will_v sure_o come_v out_o and_o stand_v and_o call_v on_o the_o name_n of_o the_o lord_n his_o god_n and_o strike_v his_o hand_n over_o the_o place_n and_o recover_v the_o leper_n so_o have_v i_o find_v myself_o apt_a to_o expect_v that_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n shall_v mortify_v and_o subdue_v sin_n in_o i_o without_o my_o strive_v against_o it_o but_o i_o have_v learn_v it_o be_v the_o will_n of_o god_n that_o i_o shall_v strive_v against_o sin_n as_o well_o as_o pray_v and_o wait_v for_o his_o spirit_n god_n work_v in_o we_o to_o will_v and_o to_o do_v exclude_v not_o our_o endeavour_v phil._n 2._o 12_o 13._o have_v promise_n let_v we_o cleanse_v ourselves_o 2_o cor._n 7._o 1._o octob._n 17._o i_o be_v immoderate_a in_o the_o use_n of_o the_o creature_n and_o though_o check_v and_o reprove_v from_o within_o yet_o i_o persist_v at_o night_n when_o i_o walk_v in_o my_o chamber_n consider_v what_o i_o have_v do_v i_o be_v sad_a and_o say_v to_o god_n lord_n i_o have_v rebel_v against_o thou_o i_o have_v no_o soon_o say_v it_o in_o my_o heart_n but_o immediate_o that_o word_n be_v bring_v to_o i_o dan._n 9_o 9_o to_o the_o lord_n our_o god_n belong_v mercy_n and_o forgiveness_n he_o will_v forgive_v again_o and_o again_o though_o we_o have_v rebel_v against_o he_o o_o the_o wonderful_a goodness_n of_o god_n be_v amaze_v o_o my_o soul_n at_o this_o love_n now_o i_o see_v the_o promise_n isa_n 65._o 24._o before_o they_o call_v i_o will_v answer_v and_o whilst_o they_o be_v yet_o speak_v i_o will_v hear_v make_v good_a to_o i_o in_o the_o evening_n on_o my_o bed_n consider_v on_o this_o love_n of_o god_n whence_o it_o shall_v come_v to_o pass_v that_o the_o lord_n shall_v deal_v thus_o gracious_o with_o i_o it_o be_v answer_v i_o from_o mic._n 7._o 18._o he_o pass_v by_o the_o transgression_n of_o the_o remnant_n of_o his_o heritage_n because_o he_o delight_v in_o mercy_n next_o morning_n at_o my_o first_o awake_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n bring_v that_o scripture_n into_o my_o thought_n ps_n 65._o 3._o iniquity_n prevail_v against_o i_o as_o for_o our_o transgression_n thou_o shall_v purge_v they_o away_o it_o come_v to_o i_o with_o some_o life_n and_o power_n and_o be_v very_o suitable_a to_o my_o condition_n oh_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n the_o riches_n of_o his_o grace_n that_o he_o shall_v so_o soon_o come_v into_o my_o relief_n and_o raise_v my_o soul_n by_o his_o promise_n this_o be_v mercy_n never_o to_o be_v forget_v sept._n 28._o in_o meditation_n i_o find_v the_o lord_n draw_v forth_o my_o heart_n to_o close_v with_o christ_n i_o be_v convince_v that_o god_n be_v willing_a to_o bestow_v his_o son_n upon_o i_o because_o he_o do_v not_o only_o invite_v i_o isa_n 55._o 1._o and_o command_v i_o 1_o joh._n 3._o 23._o but_o even_o beseech_v and_o entreat_v i_o to_o receive_v christ_n 2_o cor._n 5._o 20._o i_o be_v further_o convince_v of_o god_n real_a intention_n and_o willingness_n to_o give_v i_o his_o son_n from_o his_o patient_a wait_a and_o long-suffering_a in_o expect_v my_o return_n even_o after_o much_o deafness_n to_o the_o voice_n of_o his_o spirit_n and_o dally_v with_o his_o grace_n he_o still_o offer_v his_o son_n to_o i_o yea_o he_o press_v in_o upon_o i_o with_o the_o renew_n of_o good_a motion_n and_o affection_n which_o i_o have_v quench_v now_o whence_o be_v all_o this_o but_o from_o the_o love_n and_o mercy_n of_o god_n that_o he_o shall_v be_v thus_o willing_a to_o have_v i_o take_v his_o son_n now_o who_o be_o i_o that_o i_o shall_v withstand_v god_n why_o shall_v i_o forsake_v my_o own_o mercy_n lord_n thou_o have_v show_v i_o that_o my_o former_a revolting_n shall_v not_o hinder_v this_o thy_o mercy_n if_o i_o will_v acknowledge_v my_o sin_n renounce_v myself_o return_v unto_o thou_o and_o embrace_v thy_o son_n jer._n 3._o 12_o 13._o o_o lord_n i_o thankful_o accept_v thy_o offer_n of_o grace_n i_o come_v unto_o thou_o oh_o give_v i_o thy_o son_n behold_v i_o give_v thou_o myself_o let_v i_o be_v espouse_v to_o the_o lord_n jesus_n i_o be_o willing_a through_o grace_n to_o take_v up_o my_o cross_n to_o deny_v myself_o and_o to_o follow_v thou_o nou._n 1._o have_v set_v apart_o that_o day_n to_o seek_v the_o lord_n and_o to_o humble_v my_o soul_n before_o he_o i_o can_v not_o get_v my_o heart_n to_o be_v afflict_v and_o mourn_v under_o sin_n but_o find_v much_o lightness_n in_o prayer_n the_o lord_n hide_v his_o face_n and_o do_v not_o come_v in_o to_o my_o poor_a soul_n with_o his_o quicken_a presence_n so_o that_o i_o lay_v in_o a_o poor_a desolate_a forsake_a condition_n under_o much_o confusion_n yet_o in_o the_o evening_n a_o little_a before_o go_v to_o bed_n seek_v the_o lord_n again_o i_o be_v revive_v in_o read_v psal_n 40._o especial_o v_o 17._o i_o be_o poor_a and_o needy_a yet_o the_o lord_n think_v upon_o i_o etc._n etc._n and_o next_o morning_n in_o read_v psal_n 9_o 10._o 18._o thou_o lord_n have_v not_o forsake_v they_o that_o seek_v thou_o the_o needy_a shall_v not_o always_o be_v forget_v the_o expectation_n of_o the_o poor_a shall_v not_o perish_v for_o ever_o i_o be_v thereby_o encourage_v still_o to_o wait_v and_o hope_n o_o lord_n i_o have_v seek_v thou_o withhold_v not_o thou_o thy_o tender_a mercy_n from_o i_o how_o long_o will_v thou_o hide_v thy_o face_n from_o i_o o_o when_o will_v thou_o come_v unto_o i_o make_v haste_n to_o help_v i_o o_o my_o god_n i_o be_o poor_a and_o needy_a o_o let_v i_o not_o be_v forget_v for_o ever_o let_v not_o my_o expectation_n perish_v for_o ever_o and_o now_o o_o lord_n what_o be_v my_o expectation_n it_o be_v even_o this_o the_o giving_z in_o of_o mercy_n and_o grace_n through_o the_o lord_n jesus_n pardon_v mercy_n and_o renew_v grace_n it_o be_v the_o pour_v out_o of_o thy_o spirit_n the_o take_v away_o the_o heart_n of_o stone_n and_o give_v a_o heart_n of_o flesh_n it_o be_v a_o heart_n to_o know_v thou_o to_o fear_v thou_o to_o love_v thou_o and_o obey_v thou_o etc._n etc._n dec._n 6._o be_v in_o trouble_n and_o distress_n of_o spirit_n because_o the_o lord_n hide_v his_o face_n and_o withdraw_v himself_o from_o i_o i_o go_v in_o the_o poverty_n of_o my_o spirit_n to_o trinity_n lecture_n and_o with_o some_o expectation_n to_o meet_v with_o god_n in_o his_o own_o ordinance_n the_o lord_n be_v gracious_a to_o i_o and_o speak_v comfort_n to_o i_o from_o his_o word_n i_o see_v it_o be_v good_a to_o wait_v upon_o god_n though_o he_o send_v the_o rich_a empty_a away_o yet_o he_o fill_v the_o hungry_a with_o good_a thing_n my_o soul_n be_v glad_a and_o rejoice_v for_o a_o season_n but_o go_v into_o the_o country_n the_o same_o day_n among_o friend_n and_o variety_n of_o worldly_a affair_n i_o lose_v something_o of_o the_o savour_n and_o relish_v which_o the_o good_a word_n of_o god_n leave_v upon_o i_o and_o i_o find_v palpable_o my_o soul_n rest_v in_o those_o comfort_n which_o i_o have_v receive_v and_o grow_v secure_a and_o careless_a from_o whence_o the_o lord_n give_v i_o this_o instruction_n that_o i_o be_o a_o poor_a silly_a wretch_n know_v neither_o how_o
unto_o punishment_n he_o be_v overcome_v who_o armour_n be_v take_v from_o he_o wherein_o he_o trust_v luk._n 11._o 22._o thus_o it_o be_v with_o death_n where_o sin_n have_v no_o dominion_n death_n have_v none_o for_o death_n reign_v by_o sin_n now_o as_o for_o the_o sin_n of_o believer_n god_n to_o who_o belong_v the_o forgiveness_n of_o sin_n say_v isa_n 44._o 22._o i_o have_v blot_v out_o as_o a_o thick_a cloud_n thy_o transgreson_n and_o as_o a_o cloud_n thy_o sin_n jer._n 31._o 34._o i_o will_v forgive_v their_o iniquity_n and_o i_o will_v remember_v their_o sin_n no_o more_o numb_a 23._o 21._o he_o have_v not_o behold_v iniquity_n in_o jacob_n neither_o have_v he_o see_v perverseness_n in_o israel_n mic._n 7._o 18_o 19_o who_o be_v a_o god_n like_o unto_o thou_o that_o pardon_v iniquity_n and_o pass_v by_o the_o transgression_n of_o the_o remnant_n of_o his_o heritage_n thou_o will_v cast_v all_o their_o sin_n into_o the_o depth_n of_o the_o sea_n act._n 10._o 43._o whosoever_o believe_v in_o he_o shall_v receive_v remission_n of_o sin_n what_o god_n say_v to_o repent_v and_o believe_v david_n that_o he_o say_v to_o all_o believer_n 2_o sam._n 12._o 13._o the_o lord_n have_v put_v away_o your_o sin_n you_o shall_v not_o die_v you_o shall_v not_o die_v by_o the_o venomous_a sting_n of_o death_n this_o indeed_o be_v in_o effect_n the_o whole_a victory_n over_o death_n this_o be_v the_o fatal_a mortal_a wound_n give_v to_o death_n and_o will_v in_o time_n be_v the_o very_a death_n of_o death_n and_o therefore_o the_o apostle_n triumph_v over_o it_o on_o that_o account_n vers_fw-la 55._o o_o death_n where_o be_v thy_o sting_n what_o luther_n sometime_o say_v to_o god_n that_o may_v every_o believer_n say_v to_o death_n feri_fw-la domine_fw-la say_v he_o strike_v lord_n feri_fw-la mors_fw-la feri_fw-la may_v they_o say_v no_o a_o peccatis_fw-la absolutus_fw-la sum_fw-la strike_v death_n strike_v for_o my_o sin_n be_v pardon_v thou_o may_v kill_v i_o but_o thou_o can_v not_o hurt_v i_o 2._o death_n be_v overcome_v to_o believer_n in_o that_o it_o can_v amaze_v they_o with_o despair_a terror_n however_o it_o be_v to_o other_o it_o be_v not_o to_o they_o the_o king_n of_o terror_n believer_n be_v free_v from_o the_o bondage_n of_o the_o torment_a fear_n of_o death_n heb._n â—_o 15._o though_o i_o walk_v through_o the_o valley_n of_o the_o shadow_n of_o death_n say_v david_n psal_n 23._o 4._o i_o will_v fear_v no_o evil_n elijah_n make_v request_n for_o himself_o that_o he_o may_v die_v 1_o king_n 19_o 4._o the_o three_o child_n valiant_o yield_v their_o body_n to_o the_o fiery_a furnace_n dan._n 3._o 16._o 28._o lord_n now_o let_v thou_o thy_o servant_n depart_v in_o peace_n say_v good_a old_a simeon_n luk._n 2._o 29._o paul_n and_o barnabas_n willing_o hazard_v their_o life_n act._n 15._o 16._o paul_n have_v a_o desire_n to_o be_v dissolve_v phil._n 1._o 23._o those_o worthy_n heb._n 11._o 35._o will_v not_o accept_v deliverance_n the_o primitive_a martyr_n will_v hasten_v to_o the_o stake_n such_o victory_n have_v they_o get_v of_o the_o fear_n of_o death_n the_o grant_n of_o their_o pardon_n and_o their_o discharge_n from_o condemnation_n which_o god_n have_v seal_v to_o they_o the_o peace_n of_o a_o good_a conscience_n which_o they_o carry_v about_o with_o they_o their_o apprehension_n that_o their_o body_n be_v the_o temple_n of_o the_o holy_a ghost_n which_o he_o will_v never_o desert_n or_o neglect_v their_o assurance_n of_o the_o faithfulness_n and_o power_n of_o god_n into_o who_o hand_n they_o commend_v their_o spirit_n the_o fore-tasts_a of_o the_o sweetness_n of_o communion_n with_o god_n and_o jesus_n christ_n to_o be_v full_o enjoy_v in_o the_o other_o world_n their_o faith_n and_o hope_v of_o a_o bless_a resurrection_n to_o immortality_n their_o evidence_n for_o heaven_n these_o be_v powerful_a argument_n which_o they_o improve_v against_o the_o fear_n of_o death_n and_o by_o the_o strength_n whereof_o they_o triumph_n over_o it_o object_n but_o for_o all_o this_o be_v not_o believer_n afraid_a to_o die_v be_v not_o abraham_n afraid_a when_o he_o think_v he_o shall_v be_v slay_v gen._n 20._o 11._o do_v not_o david_n complain_v the_o terror_n of_o death_n be_v fall_v from_o i_o ps_n 55._o 4._o do_v not_o hezekiah_n weep_v sore_o when_o it_o be_v say_v to_o he_o thou_o shall_v die_v isa_n 38._o 1._o and_o who_o almost_o be_v not_o afraid_a answ_n 1._o there_o be_v a_o natural_a fear_n of_o death_n as_o it_o be_v the_o dissolution_n of_o the_o compositum_fw-la a_o separation_n of_o soul_n and_o body_n which_o be_v so_o intimate_o unite_v which_o be_v not_o sinful_a believer_n be_v not_o free_a from_o this_o grace_n do_v not_o destroy_v nature_n nature_n will_v be_v nature_n and_o act_v its_o part_n even_o in_o the_o best_a of_o saint_n they_o who_o have_v the_o sure_a hope_n of_o eternal_a life_n and_o clear_a evidence_n of_o their_o salvation_n yea_o and_o have_v a_o unfeigned_a longing_n and_o desire_n after_o the_o heavenly_a state_n have_v yet_o a_o natural_a averseness_n unto_o death_n and_o do_v rather_o endure_v than_o desire_v it_o st._n paul_n say_v for_o himself_o and_o other_o believer_n that_o though_o they_o know_v that_o if_o their_o earthly_a house_n of_o this_o tabernacle_n be_v dissolve_v they_o have_v a_o build_n of_o god_n a_o house_n not_o make_v with_o hand_n eternal_a in_o the_o heaven_n and_o groan_v earnest_o desire_v to_o be_v clothe_v upon_o with_o their_o house_n which_o be_v from_o heaven_n yet_o they_o have_v a_o natural_a love_n of_o life_n and_o abhorrence_n of_o death_n and_o their_o groan_n be_v not_o that_o they_o will_v be_v unclothe_v 2_o cor._n 5._o 1_o 2_o 4._o yea_o our_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n himself_o in_o who_o be_v no_o sin_n be_v find_v in_o fashion_n as_o a_o man_n when_o he_o humble_v himself_o and_o become_v obedient_a unto_o death_n experience_v this_o fear_n as_o the_o proper_a expression_n of_o his_o humane_a nature_n when_o his_o hour_n be_v come_v mar._n 14._o 33_o 34._o he_o take_v with_o he_o peter_n and_o james_n and_o john_n and_o begin_v to_o be_v sore_o amaze_v and_o to_o be_v very_o heavy_a and_o say_v my_o soul_n be_v exceed_o sorrowful_a unto_o death_n 2._o there_o be_v a_o slavish_a inordinate_a sinful_a fear_n of_o death_n which_o believer_n overcome_v and_o from_o which_o they_o be_v free_v it_o be_v one_o end_n of_o christ_n death_n that_o he_o may_v deliver_v his_o redeem_v from_o fear_n of_o death_n to_o which_o they_o be_v hold_v in_o bondage_n heb._n 2._o 15._o to_o which_o yet_o some_o believer_n be_v subject_a yea_o it_o may_v be_v all_o at_o sometime_o more_o or_o less_o this_o arise_v from_o weakness_n of_o faith_n from_o want_n of_o assurance_n from_o conscience_n of_o lapse_n and_o contract_a guilt_n from_o neglect_v to_o search_v their_o own_o heart_n from_o misapprehend_v and_o misjudging_a their_o spiritual_a state_n from_o inordinate_a love_n to_o this_o life_n and_o world_n etc._n etc._n for_o which_o they_o must_v blame_v themselves_o believer_n as_o such_o so_o far_o as_o they_o be_v believer_n be_v victorious_a do_v they_o walk_v close_o with_o god_n improve_v grace_n receive_v examine_v their_o own_o state_n wise_o and_o judge_v thereof_o right_o do_v they_o take_v hold_v of_o the_o covenant_n of_o god_n live_v by_o faith_n meditate_v on_o the_o promise_n and_o apply_v they_o as_o their_o portion_n which_o become_v believer_n they_o may_v and_o will_v get_v above_o the_o slavish_a fear_n of_o death_n in_o this_o method_n they_o may_v be_v ready_a to_o die_v and_o fear_v no_o evil_n when_o the_o christian_a can_v say_v with_o david_n psal_n 23._o the_o lord_n be_v my_o shepherd_n he_o make_v i_o to_o lie_v down_o in_o green_a pasture_n he_o lead_v i_o beside_o the_o still_a water_n he_o restore_v my_o soul_n he_o lead_v i_o in_o the_o path_n of_o righteousness_n he_o will_v then_o add_v also_o though_o i_o walk_v through_o the_o valley_n of_o the_o shadow_n of_o death_n i_o will_v fear_v no_o evil_n 3._o there_o be_v a_o despair_a fear_n the_o presumption_n of_o hell_n the_o pre-occupation_n of_o torment_n the_o fore-tasts_a of_o the_o wrath_n of_o the_o almighty_a the_o scorching_n of_o the_o lake_n that_o burn_v with_o fire_n and_o brimstone_n that_o drive_v the_o sinner_n past_o all_o hope_n and_o overwhelm_v the_o soul_n in_o hideous_a darkness_n and_o horrible_a confusion_n have_v there_o not_o be_v instance_n of_o some_o wretched_a guilty_a soul_n go_v out_o of_o the_o body_n as_o the_o devil_n out_o of_o the_o demoniac_a mar._n 9_o rent_v and_o tare_v and_o wallow_v and_o foam_a and_o rage_a and_o roar_v again_o and_o be_v it_o not_o for_o the_o atheism_n ignorance_n infidelity_n blindness_n hardness_n searedness_n flattery_n
be_v so_o suit_v to_o some_o reason_n and_o doubt_n that_o i_o have_v upon_o my_o mind_n and_o come_v so_o seasonable_o at_o my_o first_o fix_v at_o chattisham_n i_o be_v much_o affect_v with_o it_o and_o look_v upon_o it_o as_o a_o token_n for_o good_a that_o i_o shall_v have_v god_n presence_n with_o i_o and_o the_o teach_n of_o his_o spirit_n at_o chattisham_n as_o i_o have_v have_v they_o at_o colchester_n the_o encouragement_n which_o he_o thus_o take_v be_v not_o vain_a and_o empty_a god_n remember_v his_o word_n unto_o his_o servant_n wherein_o he_o have_v cause_v he_o to_o hope_v for_o he_o not_o only_o incline_v the_o heart_n of_o the_o people_n among_o who_o he_o live_v though_o stranger_n to_o he_o to_o pay_v he_o that_o respect_n and_o honour_n which_o be_v due_a to_o he_o and_o indulge_v he_o the_o liberty_n of_o private_a preach_v as_o he_o have_v before_o enjoy_v but_o moreover_o open_v to_o he_o in_o this_o place_n a_o door_n for_o the_o frequent_a public_a exercise_n of_o his_o ministry_n which_o be_v shut_v against_o he_o at_o colchester_n the_o minister_n of_o the_o parish_n have_v another_o cure_n by_o reason_n whereof_o he_o can_v attend_v this_o at_o chattisham_n but_o once_o a_o fortnight_n do_v in_o his_o absence_n not_o only_o willing_o but_o thankful_o indulge_v to_o mr._n stockton_n the_o liberty_n of_o his_o pulpit_n and_o have_v a_o very_a small_a maintenance_n and_o some_o burden_n lie_v heavy_a upon_o he_o which_o after_o a_o few_o year_n make_v his_o residence_n there_o very_o uneasy_a to_o he_o he_o desert_v his_o charge_n and_o leave_v this_o flock_n to_o shift_v for_o themselves_o whereupon_o at_o the_o request_n of_o the_o people_n mr._n stockton_n frequent_o supply_v that_o vacancy_n and_o his_o zeal_n provoke_v and_o encourage_v other_o also_o both_o minister_n and_o people_n for_o other_o neighbour_a parish_n be_v destitute_a of_o minister_n for_o want_v of_o maintenance_n call_v in_o the_o help_n of_o nonconformist_n who_o in_o these_o place_n so_o much_o below_o envye_a have_v enjoy_v the_o liberty_n of_o their_o public_a preach_v for_o the_o most_o part_n to_o this_o day_n so_o as_o not_o only_o the_o parish_n where_o he_o live_v but_o the_o neighbour_a vllage_n have_v abundant_a cause_n to_o bless_v god_n for_o send_v to_o they_o so_o happy_a a_o instrument_n so_o willing_a and_o zealous_a so_o able_a and_o industrious_a to_o serve_v their_o soul_n in_o the_o gospel_n of_o christ_n when_o it_o please_v his_o majesty_n to_o set_v forth_o his_o most_o gracious_a declaration_n for_o indulgence_n he_o be_v choose_v both_o by_o a_o congregation_n in_o ipswhich_n and_o another_o in_o colchester_n to_o preach_v to_o they_o and_o both_o be_v very_o desirous_a of_o he_o he_o comply_v with_o their_o desire_n as_o far_o as_o he_o can_v and_o undertake_v half_o the_o service_n of_o either_o and_o so_o with_o other_o divide_v his_o labour_n between_o they_o during_o his_o life_n to_o their_o great_a satisfaction_n and_o edification_n his_o labour_n be_v abundant_a his_o ministry_n be_v his_o whole_a business_n beside_o his_o lord_n day_n service_n wherein_o he_o not_o only_o preach_v twice_o but_o oft_o expound_v the_o scripture_n and_o catechise_v the_o young_a sort_n and_o many_o time_n discourse_v particular_a christian_n that_o apply_v themselves_o to_o he_o for_o counsel_n and_o instruction_n about_o their_o spiritual_a case_n he_o moreover_o preach_v a_o lecture_n at_o ipswich_n on_o the_o weekday_n once_o a_o fortnight_n and_o scarce_o a_o week_n pass_v but_o he_o preach_v at_o some_o other_o lecture_n or_o funeral_n beside_o keep_v of_o private_a fast_n which_o he_o frequent_o practise_v both_o at_o home_n and_o abroad_o the_o providence_n of_o god_n over_o he_o while_o he_o be_v thus_o zealous_o and_o constant_o employ_v in_o his_o work_n in_o so_o many_o place_n be_v so_o remarkable_a that_o it_o must_v not_o be_v pass_v over_o without_o special_a observation_n notwithstanding_o the_o severity_n of_o the_o law_n the_o malice_n watchfulness_n and_o endeavour_n of_o adversary_n yet_o god_n suffer_v not_o a_o hair_n to_o fall_v from_o his_o head_n though_o complaint_n information_n indictment_n conviction_n warrant_v presentment_n excommunication_n be_v make_v against_o he_o yet_o be_v he_o never_o imprison_v apprehend_v distrain_v or_o bring_v before_o any_o court_n or_o magistrate_n he_o be_v much_o affect_v with_o this_o care_n of_o god_n over_o he_o and_o thankful_o accept_v and_o record_v it_o as_o the_o instance_n of_o god_n faithfulness_n and_o performance_n of_o his_o promise_n as_o the_o answer_n of_o his_o own_o faith_n and_o prayer_n and_o as_o the_o reward_n of_o his_o love_n and_o zeal_n and_o courage_n for_o god_n and_o his_o church_n by_o the_o power_n whereof_o he_o live_v above_o fear_n and_o danger_n for_o thus_o he_o write_v apr._n 16._o 1655._o be_v lord_n day_n in_o the_o morning_n i_o awake_v with_o that_o scripture_n in_o my_o thought_n 1_o tim._n 1._o 15._o i_o dwell_v a_o while_n upon_o it_o and_o draw_v comfort_n and_o relief_n for_o my_o faith_n by_o the_o help_n of_o god_n i_o have_v be_v before_o under_o a_o great_a sense_n of_o the_o sinfulness_n of_o my_o heart_n the_o comfort_n i_o have_v be_v that_o christ_n come_v to_o save_v the_o chief_a of_o sinner_n that_o this_o be_v a_o faithful_a say_n that_o it_o be_v worthy_a all_o acceptation_n or_o to_o be_v embrace_v by_o every_o one_o and_o that_o this_o salvation_n be_v from_o sin_n as_o well_o as_o from_o hell_n math._n 1._o 21._o consider_v whether_o he_o will_v save_v i_o as_o i_o be_v go_v to_o wash_v in_o the_o morning_n i_o be_v satisfy_v from_o joh._n 6._o 37._o he_o that_o come_v to_o i_o i_o will_v in_o no_o wise_a cast_v out_o it_o be_v then_o a_o time_n of_o danger_n as_o to_o the_o keep_n of_o my_o meeting_n because_o many_o soldier_n be_v in_o town_n i_o be_v dubious_a whether_o i_o shall_v admit_v the_o people_n to_o come_v to_o my_o house_n when_o i_o consider_v that_o christ_n take_v it_o as_o a_o act_n of_o love_n to_o feed_v his_o sheep_n joh._n 21._o 15._o and_o that_o he_o expose_v himself_o to_o death_n to_o save_v i_o and_o bring_v under_o a_o sense_n of_o the_o comfort_n that_o the_o lord_n have_v give_v i_o in_o the_o morning_n in_o my_o meditation_n on_o the_o 1_o tim._n 1._o 15._o i_o be_v willing_a to_o adventure_v myself_o on_o the_o providence_n of_o god_n sept._n 19_o as_o i_o be_v expound_v in_o my_o family_n the_o 91_o psalm_n on_o a_o day_n of_o humiliation_n i_o be_v much_o encourage_v to_o go_v on_o in_o my_o call_v notwithstanding_o the_o difficulty_n that_o attend_v the_o same_o by_o reason_n of_o many_o adversary_n from_o v_o 11_o 12_o 13._o though_o the_o adversary_n to_o private_a meeting_n and_o the_o preach_a of_o nonconformist_n be_v of_o several_a sort_n as_o strong_a as_o lion_n as_o full_a of_o venom_n as_o the_o dragon_n such_o as_o be_v greedy_a of_o and_o roar_v after_o the_o prey_n like_o the_o young_a lion_n as_o subtle_a and_o pertinacious_a and_o obstinate_a in_o their_o way_n as_o the_o adder_n of_o which_o see_v ps_n 58._o 4_o 5._o yet_o the_o angel_n have_v a_o charge_n to_o keep_v we_o in_o all_o our_o way_n and_o the_o promise_n be_v that_o we_o shall_v trample_v these_o under_o our_o foot_n this_o promise_n give_v i_o courage_n whilst_o at_o colchester_n and_o i_o see_v it_o make_v good_a for_o i_o go_v on_o in_o my_o call_v and_o have_v no_o harm_n from_o they_o i_o observe_v also_o in_o read_v dan._n 6._o 23._o the_o power_n of_o faith_n to_o deliver_v out_o of_o great_a and_o imminent_a danger_n daniel_n be_v cast_v into_o a_o den_n of_o hungry_a lion_n yet_o no_o manner_n of_o hurt_n be_v find_v upon_o he_o because_o he_o believe_v in_o his_o god_n sept._n 22._o in_o my_o family_n exercise_v as_o i_o be_v read_v ps_n 146._o 9_o the_o lord_n preserve_v the_o stranger_n my_o faith_n receive_v strength_n i_o enjoy_v much_o peace_n and_o security_n in_o colchester_n i_o have_v meet_v with_o no_o molestation_n either_o from_o the_o town_n or_o county_n but_o be_v come_v into_o a_o strange_a place_n where_o i_o be_v not_o know_v and_o have_v no_o friend_n to_o shelter_v or_o speak_v for_o i_o i_o apprehend_v myself_o to_o walk_v in_o more_o danger_n than_o before_o this_o word_n the_o lord_n preserve_v the_o stranger_n do_v help_v my_o dependence_n upon_o god_n oct._n 28_o 1666._o be_v sabbath_n day_n i_o go_v forth_o to_o preach_v at_o manitree_n in_o the_o morning_n before_o i_o go_v the_o lord_n give_v in_o that_o promise_n isa_n 55._o 12._o you_o shall_v be_v lead_v forth_o with_o peace_n it_o be_v a_o time_n of_o trouble_n and_o danger_n for_o nonconformist_n to_o preach_v public_o the_o promise_n be_v the_o
more_o precious_a and_o i_o be_v encourage_v to_o go_v on_o with_o confidence_n and_o i_o determine_v to_o eye_n this_o promise_n for_o the_o future_a when_o i_o shall_v go_v forth_o where_o i_o may_v probable_o meet_v with_o disturbance_n dec._n 25._o 65._o as_o i_o be_v read_v in_o my_o course_n luke_n 6._o i_o observe_v from_o v_o 11_o 12._o from_o christ_n practice_n who_o in_o those_o day_n when_o his_o enemy_n be_v fill_v with_o madness_n against_o he_o and_o commune_v one_o with_o another_o what_o they_o may_v do_v unto_o he_o go_v out_o into_o a_o mountain_n to_o pray_v and_o continue_v all_o night_n in_o prayer_n to_o god_n i_o observe_v i_o say_v hence_o that_o it_o be_v my_o duty_n to_o give_v myself_o much_o unto_o prayer_n at_o such_o time_n as_o i_o have_v any_o enemy_n that_o lay_v wait_v for_o i_o to_o do_v i_o hurt_v within_o a_o day_n or_o two_o after_o one_o of_o the_o constable_n come_v to_o i_o and_o tell_v i_o that_o his_o fellow_n constable_n when_o he_o have_v drink_v somewhat_o liberal_o open_v his_o heart_n to_o he_o and_o tell_v he_o that_o there_o have_v be_v some_o communication_n between_o he_o and_o one_o of_o the_o deputy_n lieutenant_n about_o present_v i_o at_o the_o session_n and_o about_o my_o meeting_n i_o think_v upon_o that_o place_n in_o luke_n 6._o 11_o 12._o after_o he_o be_v go_v and_o go_v up_o into_o my_o chamber_n to_o pray_v and_o as_o i_o be_v meditate_v on_o this_o matter_n that_o scripture_n deut._n 33._o 12._o be_v bring_v to_o my_o remembrance_n the_o belove_a of_o the_o lord_n shall_v dwell_v in_o safety_n by_o he_o etc._n etc._n i_o be_v strengthen_v in_o my_o adherence_n to_o this_o promise_n because_o god_n have_v late_o make_v out_o his_o love_n to_o my_o soul_n as_o i_o be_v plead_v this_o promise_n in_o prayer_n that_o passage_n be_v set_v home_o he_o shall_v cover_v thou_o all_o the_o day_n long_o whence_o i_o do_v hope_n that_o the_o lord_n who_o have_v help_v i_o hitherto_o will_v still_o cover_v i_o under_o the_o shadow_n of_o his_o wing_n after_o i_o have_v be_v at_o prayer_n i_o consider_v jacob_n carriage_n when_o he_o be_v in_o danger_n of_o suffer_v by_o his_o brother_n esau_n after_o he_o have_v be_v wrestle_v with_o god_n in_o prayer_n and_o plead_v the_o promise_n he_o betake_v himselfto_o the_o use_n of_o the_o most_o probable_a mean_n for_o appease_v esau_n i_o also_o use_v the_o most_o probable_a mean_n to_o prevent_v trouble_n at_o the_o ensue_a session_n and_o it_o please_v god_n so_o to_o order_v thing_n at_o the_o session_n that_o i_o meet_v with_o no_o trouble_n bless_a be_v god_n who_o alone_o make_v i_o to_o dwell_v in_o safety_n jun._n 22._o as_o i_o be_v exercise_v in_o my_o family_n in_o the_o afternoon_n several_a of_o my_o friend_n be_v with_o i_o i_o have_v word_n send_v i_o that_o the_o mayor_n and_o justice_n will_v come_v down_o to_o my_o house_n whereupon_o be_v near_o the_o end_n of_o my_o exercise_n i_o quick_o conclude_v after_o i_o have_v do_v and_o dismiss_v the_o people_n one_o of_o the_o constable_n come_v to_o i_o and_o tell_v i_o he_o be_v send_v to_o dissolve_v my_o meeting_n but_o have_v a_o tremble_a upon_o he_o when_o he_o speak_v to_o i_o he_o add_v that_o he_o bless_a god_n that_o have_v give_v he_o a_o heart_n to_o come_v some_o time_n himself_o and_o his_o wife_n to_o my_o meeting_n so_o that_o instead_o of_o do_v i_o any_o hurt_n he_o give_v glory_n to_o god_n that_o incline_v he_o to_o come_v to_o hear_v i_o in_o octob._n 1670._o i_o be_v present_v in_o the_o ecclesiastical_a court_n for_o preach_v but_o god_n stand_v by_o i_o and_o encourage_v i_o with_o that_o word_n ps_n 103._o 31._o and_o though_o my_o adversary_n proceed_v so_o far_o as_o to_o get_v out_o a_o excommunication_n against_o i_o yet_o the_o lord_n raise_v up_o deliverance_n for_o i_o that_o the_o court_n take_v off_o my_o excommunication_n without_o appear_v before_o they_o or_o pay_v any_o fe_n yea_o so_o far_o be_v he_o from_o decline_v the_o exercise_n of_o his_o ministry_n for_o fear_n of_o suffering_n that_o when_o he_o have_v be_v persuade_v thereto_o by_o the_o importunity_n of_o friend_n he_o be_v much_o dissatisfy_v concern_v which_o thus_o he_o record_v i_o promise_v mr._n b._n to_o preach_v at_o white_a colne_n on_o octob._n 23._o according_o on_o saturday_n i_o be_v prepare_v to_o go_v h._n p._n come_v in_o and_o tell_v we_o that_o the_o soldier_n have_v seize_v mr._n b._n and_o imprison_v he_o and_o that_o it_o will_v not_o be_v safe_a for_o i_o to_o go_v at_o that_o season_n all_o my_o friend_n and_o relation_n dissuade_v i_o but_o notwithstanding_o my_o mind_n stand_v to_o go_v but_o be_v importune_v to_o stay_v and_o have_v be_v very_o late_o seek_v after_o by_o name_n by_o the_o soldier_n in_o those_o part_n and_o weigh_v the_o providence_n in_o send_v h._n p._n to_o my_o house_n with_o this_o intelligence_n as_o i_o be_v about_o to_o take_v horse_n i_o determine_v to_o cast_v myself_o on_o my_o brother_n cole_n determination_n who_o be_v then_o at_o my_o house_n and_o he_o determine_v that_o i_o shall_v not_o go_v i_o stay_v at_o home_n but_o that_o night_n and_o the_o next_o day_n i_o be_v under_o much_o despondency_n of_o spirit_n for_o miss_v such_o a_o opportunity_n of_o service_n yet_o god_n be_v gracious_a to_o i_o and_o revive_v i_o it_o be_v some_o stay_n to_o my_o mind_n what_o i_o read_v mat._n 16._o 20._o where_o i_o observe_v that_o the_o divulge_v of_o the_o most_o necessary_a truth_n be_v at_o some_o season_n and_o in_o some_o place_n prohibit_v by_o jesus_n christ_n i_o be_v further_o satisfy_v from_o act._n 16._o 6_o 7._o whence_o i_o observe_v that_o the_o frustrate_v of_o our_o attempt_n and_o design_n to_o preach_v the_o gospel_n to_o particular_a place_n that_o we_o purpose_v to_o go_v to_o do_v sometime_o arise_v from_o the_o holy_a ghost_n and_o from_o psal_n 52._o 9_o i_o have_v a_o damp_n upon_o my_o spirit_n and_o be_v hinder_v from_o praise_v god_n for_o my_o deliverance_n from_o my_o enemy_n hand_n because_o i_o have_v miss_v a_o opportunity_n of_o service_n but_o this_o scripture_n convince_v i_o that_o i_o ought_v to_o praise_n god_n for_o this_o providence_n though_o attend_v with_o some_o afflict_a circumstance_n by_o these_o scripture_n and_o prayer_n i_o obtain_v satisfaction_n and_o the_o lord_n answer_v my_o desire_n and_o full_o quiet_v my_o mind_n once_o a_o very_a zealous_a and_o active_a prosecutor_n of_o the_o nonconformist_n obtain_v a_o warrant_n against_o he_o upon_o the_o oxford_n act_n direct_v to_o all_o the_o chief_a constable_n and_o petty-constable_n in_o the_o county_n to_o apprehend_v he_o according_o a_o officer_n a_o stranger_n come_v to_o execute_v it_o and_o when_o he_o be_v nigh_o the_o house_n he_o espy_v two_o person_n who_o by_o their_o habit_n he_o judge_v to_o be_v minister_n walk_v in_o a_o field_n the_o one_o be_v mr._n stockton_n the_o other_o mr._n senior_n of_o hackney_n who_o god_n have_v also_o late_o take_v away_o he_o hasten_v to_o they_o and_o tell_v they_o he_o have_v a_o warrant_n against_o one_o of_o they_o but_o he_o know_v neither_o mr._n senior_n ask_v which_o of_o they_o he_o answer_v mr._n stockton_n let_v i_o see_v your_o warrant_n say_v mr._n senior_n he_o show_v it_o he_o very_o conclude_v from_o thence_o that_o he_o be_v the_o man_n some_o little_a girl_n be_v there_o walk_v with_o they_o who_o do_v industrious_o cling_v to_o mr._n senior_n as_o if_o he_o have_v be_v their_o father_n which_o further_o confirm_v he_o in_o his_o error_n while_n mr._n senior_n read_v the_o warrant_n and_o the_o officer_n be_v intent_n upon_o he_o mr._n stockton_n walk_v aside_o and_o when_o mr._n senior_n see_v he_o beyond_o his_o reach_n he_o convince_v the_o officer_n of_o his_o error_n who_o thereby_o be_v disappoint_v of_o his_o prey_n be_v thus_o secure_v by_o the_o providence_n of_o god_n through_o faith_n and_o prayer_n from_o the_o danger_n of_o adversary_n he_o thankful_o acknowledge_v the_o whole_a glory_n thereof_o to_o god_n thus_o in_o read_v 2_o chron._n 20._o 30._o the_o realm_n of_o jehoshaphat_n be_v quiet_a for_o his_o god_n give_v he_o rest_v round_o about_o god_n cause_v i_o to_o take_v notice_n that_o my_o live_n in_o rest_n and_o quietness_n be_v free_a from_o the_o molestation_n of_o my_o enemy_n be_v the_o gift_n of_o god_n and_o come_v to_o pass_v by_o his_o providence_n not_o from_o the_o privacy_n of_o the_o place_n where_o i_o live_v or_o from_o the_o peaceable_a disposition_n of_o my_o neighbour_n i_o be_v also_o instruct_v what_o i_o shall_v return_v unto_o the_o lord_n for_o keep_v i_o from_o the_o
my_o spirit_n from_o those_o word_n of_o the_o prophet_n isa_n 40._o 27._o why_o say_v thou_o o_o jacob_n and_o speak_v o_o israel_n my_o way_n be_v hide_v from_o the_o lord_n and_o my_o judgement_n be_v pass_v over_o from_o my_o god_n and_o do_v encourage_v my_o soul_n still_o to_o hope_v in_o god_n and_o wait_v for_o his_o strength_n from_o the_o follow_a word_n v_o 28_o 29._o 31._o have_v thou_o not_o know_v have_v thou_o not_o hear_v if_o thou_o have_v not_o know_v it_o by_o experience_n have_v find_v his_o everlasting_a arm_n under_o thou_o for_o thy_o support_n yet_o have_v thou_o not_o at_o least_o hear_v it_o that_o the_o everlasting_a god_n the_o lord_n the_o creator_n of_o the_o end_n of_o the_o earth_n faint_v not_o neither_o be_v weary_a he_o give_v power_n to_o the_o faint_a etc._n etc._n continue_v thou_o therefore_o o_o my_o soul_n to_o wait_v upon_o the_o lord_n lord_n what_o a_o accurse_a hard_a heart_n have_v i_o that_o sin_n which_o grieve_v thou_o gen._n 6._o 6._o thy_n son_n mar._n 3._o 5._o thy_o spirit_n eph._n 4._o 30._o shall_v not_o grieve_v i_o that_o sin_n which_o weary_v thou_o isa_n 43._o 24._o shall_v not_o be_v a_o burden_n to_o i_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v trouble_v for_o want_v of_o thy_o presence_n when_o as_o the_o hide_v of_o thy_o face_n make_v our_o saviour_n cry_v out_o my_o god_n my_o god_n why_o have_v thou_o forsake_v i_o that_o eternity_n and_o judgement_n to_o come_v shall_v make_v no_o impression_n upon_o i_o that_o i_o can_v hear_v yea_o speak_v of_o thy_o word_n thy_o wrath_n etc._n etc._n and_o yet_o not_o fear_v thou_o not_o tremble_v at_o thy_o word_n nor_o at_o this_o my_o condition_n feb._n 19_o be_v sabbath_n day_n have_v former_o perceive_v a_o desperate_a hardness_n in_o my_o heart_n that_o that_o word_n which_o work_v upon_o other_o shall_v do_v i_o no_o good_a that_o no_o mean_n no_o mercy_n do_v melt_v my_o soul_n and_o almost_o despair_v of_o ever_o have_v it_o soften_v after_o prayer_n i_o be_v encourage_v from_o the_o lord_n in_o read_v mr._n hooker_n upon_o act._n 2._o 37._o who_o from_o those_o word_n when_o they_o hear_v these_o thing_n they_o who_o have_v crucify_a our_o lord_n christ_n be_v prick_v at_o the_o heart_n raise_v this_o observation_n it_o be_v possible_a even_o for_o the_o most_o stubborn_a sinner_n to_o get_v a_o break_a heart_n and_o now_o o_o my_o soul_n why_o be_v thou_o cast_v down_o be_v not_o the_o lord_n great_a than_o thy_o heart_n can_v satan_n be_v more_o malicious_a to_o destroy_v thou_o than_o the_o lord_n be_v merciful_a to_o save_v thou_o yet_o the_o act_n of_o my_o faith_n hereupon_o be_v but_o faint_a upon_o examination_n of_o myself_o i_o have_v sometime_o find_v that_o to_o my_o own_o sense_n and_o feeling_n i_o have_v be_v altogether_o void_a of_o any_o love_n or_o fear_v of_o god_n and_o that_o i_o have_v be_v at_o such_o a_o time_n as_o unable_a to_o work_v up_o my_o heart_n into_o the_o love_n and_o fear_n of_o god_n as_o to_o say_v to_o this_o mountain_n be_v thou_o remove_v and_o cast_v into_o the_o sea_n such_o wonderful_a deadness_n have_v seize_v upon_o my_o soul_n so_o great_o have_v i_o be_v enslave_v and_o hold_v captive_a by_o satan_n that_o i_o have_v not_o be_v able_a true_o to_o desire_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n o_o that_o my_o heart_n can_v bleed_v at_o the_o remembrance_n of_o this_o great_a evil_n that_o i_o shall_v not_o only_o be_v cut_v off_o from_o communion_n with_o god_n but_o be_v content_v with_o this_o condition_n that_o i_o shall_v have_v no_o groan_n in_o spirit_n to_o be_v deliver_v from_o this_o miserable_a bondage_n be_v instruct_v hence_o o_o my_o soul_n to_o ascribe_v every_o good_a motion_n to_o god_n if_o thou_o feel_v any_o hungring_n after_o jesus_n christ_n or_o any_o sorrow_n for_o want_n of_o god_n presence_n or_o the_o like_a own_o it_o as_o his_o work_n and_o bless_v he_o for_o it_o i_o have_v sometime_o find_v my_o condition_n much_o like_o the_o man_n mention_v joh._n 5._o who_o lay_v a_o long_a time_n by_o the_o pool_n of_o bethesda_n but_o be_v not_o able_a to_o put_v himself_o in_o that_o he_o may_v be_v heal_v even_o so_o it_o be_v with_o my_o soul_n though_o god_n have_v open_v a_o fountain_n for_o sin_n and_o for_o uncleanness_n to_o wash_v in_o and_o i_o find_v my_o soul_n exceed_o pollute_v yet_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o step_v into_o this_o fountain_n that_o i_o may_v be_v heal_v o_o my_o soul_n the_o lord_n see_v thy_o weakness_n and_o that_o thou_o have_v be_v now_o a_o long_a time_n in_o this_o case_n wait_v thou_o on_o god_n who_o can_v tell_v but_o that_o as_o the_o bowel_n of_o jesus_n christ_n do_v yearn_v towards_o the_o poor_a man_n so_o may_v his_o compassion_n be_v great_a towards_o thou_o and_o he_o may_v heal_v thou_o also_o cease_v not_o to_o importune_v he_o say_v jesus_n thou_o son_n of_o god_n have_v mercy_n on_o i_o o_o lord_n heal_v my_o soul_n have_v at_o several_a time_n find_v diverse_a work_n upon_o my_o heart_n as_o conviction_n and_o thereupon_o some_o pant_n and_o breathe_n after_o god_n but_o as_o yet_o nothing_o come_v to_o perfection_n i_o think_v of_o and_o find_v that_o i_o have_v cause_n to_o take_v up_o the_o complaint_n of_o hezekiah_n in_o another_o case_n it_o be_v a_o day_n of_o trouble_n and_o rebuke_v the_o child_n be_v come_v to_o the_o birth_n and_o there_o be_v no_o strength_n to_o bring_v forth_o isa_n 37._o 3._o some_o time_n after_o read_v isa_n 66._o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o that_o word_n v._n 9_o be_v suit_v to_o my_o case_n shall_v i_o bring_v to_o the_o birth_n and_o not_o cause_n to_o bring_v forth_o say_v the_o lord_n shall_v i_o cause_v to_o bring_v forth_o and_o shut_v the_o womb_n say_v thy_o god_n o_o my_o soul_n wait_v thou_o on_o god_n who_o will_v perfect_v his_o own_o work_n in_o thou_o he_o have_v say_v he_o will_v not_o break_v the_o bruise_a reed_n nor_o quench_v the_o smoke_a flax_n till_o he_o send_v forth_o judgement_n unto_o victory_n i_o have_v ofttimes_o see_v a_o law_n in_o my_o member_n war_a against_o the_o law_n of_o my_o mind_n and_o lead_v i_o into_o captivity_n to_o the_o law_n of_o sin_n and_o death_n so_o powerful_a and_o mighty_a have_v be_v the_o act_n of_o some_o inward_a corruption_n that_o i_o have_v not_o be_v able_a to_o overcome_v they_o but_o have_v be_v hurry_v captive_a by_o they_o hereby_o i_o come_v to_o see_v that_o truth_n the_o heart_n of_o man_n be_v desperate_o wicked_a who_o can_v know_v it_o i_o can_v fathom_v the_o depth_n of_o iniquity_n which_o be_v in_o my_o heart_n hereupon_o i_o be_o make_v to_o cry_v out_o with_o st._n paul_n o_o wretched_a man_n that_o i_o be_o who_o shall_v deliver_v i_o from_o this_o body_n of_o death_n o_o lord_n be_v not_o thou_o far_o from_o i_o but_o make_v haste_n to_o help_v i_o let_v the_o sigh_v of_o the_o prisoner_n come_v before_o thou_o proclaim_v liberty_n to_o thy_o captive_n and_o the_o open_n of_o the_o prison_n door_n to_o he_o that_o be_v bind_v with_o the_o chain_n of_o sin_n isa_n 61._o 1._o mar._n 26._o 1654._o i_o find_v that_o though_o in_o my_o judgement_n and_o profession_n i_o acknowledge_v christ_n to_o be_v my_o righteousness_n and_o peace_n yet_o upon_o examination_n i_o observe_v that_o my_o heart_n have_v do_v quite_o another_o thing_n and_o that_o secret_o i_o have_v go_v about_o to_o establish_v my_o own_o righteousness_n and_o have_v derive_v my_o comfort_n and_o peace_n from_o my_o own_o act_n for_o when_o i_o have_v be_v disquiet_v by_o the_o act_n of_o my_o sin_n that_o which_o have_v recover_v i_o to_o my_o former_a peace_n have_v not_o be_v that_o i_o can_v find_v god_n speak_v peace_n through_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n but_o rather_o from_o the_o intermission_n of_o temptation_n and_o the_o cessation_n of_o those_o sin_n when_o i_o have_v be_v trouble_v at_o a_o evil_a frame_n of_o heart_n i_o do_v not_o find_v that_o the_o righteousness_n of_o christ_n have_v be_v my_o consolation_n but_o that_o which_o have_v relieve_v i_o as_o far_o as_o i_o can_v find_v be_v that_o afterward_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o a_o better_a temper_n have_v be_v in_o trouble_n and_o perplexity_n i_o have_v read_v the_o scripture_n go_v to_o prayer_n and_o in_o do_v these_o i_o have_v be_v relieve_v yet_o i_o do_v not_o find_v that_o at_o such_o time_n i_o have_v real_a true_a live_a communion_n with_o god_n in_o such_o duty_n or_o that_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n do_v in_o those_o duty_n reveal_v to_o i_o my_o interest_n in_o christ_n and_o so_o quiet_a my_o conscience_n hence_o i_o come_v to_o see_v
strength_n of_o adversary_n jan._n 1._o 1673._o i_o awake_v about_o four_o of_o the_o clock_n in_o the_o morning_n and_o have_v many_o sweet_a meditation_n in_o my_o bed_n for_o the_o space_n of_o about_o two_o hour_n i_o then_o resolve_v with_o myself_o to_o engage_v my_o heart_n afresh_o and_o to_o renew_v my_o covenant_n with_o the_o lord_n the_o beginning_n of_o this_o new_a year_n to_o be_v the_o lord_n servant_n to_o serve_v the_o lord_n and_o his_o son_n jesus_n christ_n all_o the_o remainder_n of_o the_o day_n i_o have_v to_o live_v in_o this_o world_n in_o such_o service_n as_o he_o shall_v see_v meet_a to_o employ_v i_o the_o encouragement_n and_o inducement_n that_o be_v bring_v to_o my_o mind_n and_o draw_v out_o my_o heart_n willing_o and_o cheerful_o to_o give_v up_o myself_o to_o the_o lord_n to_o serve_v he_o and_o his_o son_n jesus_n christ_n be_v these_o 1._o his_o promise_n of_o afford_v his_o presence_n and_o assistance_n to_o such_o as_o be_v his_o servant_n and_o to_o be_v their_o god_n isa_n 41._o 8_o 9_o 10._o 2._o the_o great_a and_o precious_a promise_n make_v to_o his_o servant_n isa_n 54._o per_fw-la totum_fw-la which_o conclude_v thus_o v._n 17._o this_o be_v the_o heritage_n of_o the_o servant_n of_o the_o lord_n 3._o we_o glorify_v god_n when_o we_o serve_v he_o isa_n 49._o 3._o thou_o be_v my_o servant_n o_o israel_n in_o who_o i_o will_v be_v glorify_v 4._o god_n have_v do_v great_a thing_n for_o i_o both_o for_o my_o outward_a and_o inward_a man_n and_o the_o only_a thing_n that_o he_o require_v of_o i_o be_v to_o serve_v he_o in_o truth_n and_o sincerity_n 1_o sam._n 12._o 24._o 5._o all_o christ_n servant_n shall_v assure_o be_v with_o he_o where_o he_o be_v and_o shall_v be_v honour_v of_o the_o father_n joh._n 12._o 26._o and_o shall_v enter_v into_o the_o joy_n of_o their_o lord_n mat._n 25._o 21._o may_v 19_o 1676._o read_v levit._n 22._o 3._o whosoever_o of_o the_o priest_n in_o their_o generation_n go_v unto_o the_o holy_a thing_n which_o the_o child_n of_o israel_n do_v hallow_v unto_o the_o lord_n have_v his_o uncleanness_n upon_o he_o that_o soul_n shall_v be_v cut_v off_o from_o the_o presence_n of_o the_o lord_n and_o the_o ensue_a sabbath_n be_v sacrament_n day_n i_o consider_v with_o myself_o 1_o st_z that_o great_a reverence_n be_v due_a to_o the_o lord_n supper_n than_o to_o the_o holy_a thing_n under_o the_o law_n 2_o lie_v moral_a uncleanness_n be_v great_a than_o ceremonial_a 3_o lie_n therefore_o i_o consider_v how_o i_o may_v go_v to_o this_o ordinance_n and_o administer_v it_o to_o other_o without_o have_v my_o uncleanness_n upon_o i_o that_o be_v how_o i_o may_v be_v purge_v from_o my_o uncleanness_n to_o that_o end_n i_o determine_v 1._o humble_o to_o acknowledge_v confess_v and_o bewail_v the_o uncleanness_n of_o my_o heart_n lip_n and_o life_n before_o the_o lord_n isa_n 6._o 5_o 6_o 7_o 8_o 9_o when_o the_o prophet_n bemoan_v his_o uncleanness_n the_o lord_n purge_v it_o away_o and_o send_v he_o to_o do_v his_o office_n 2._o to_o go_v to_o the_o fountain_n set_v open_a for_o sin_n and_o for_o uncleanness_n zech._n 13._o 1._o that_o be_v to_o act_v my_o faith_n on_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n which_o cleanse_v from_o all_o sin_n 1_o joh._n 1._o 7._o 3._o to_o rest_v upon_o god_n by_o faith_n for_o fulfil_v his_o covenant_n wherein_o he_o have_v promise_v to_o cleanse_v i_o from_o all_o my_o filthiness_n and_o to_o save_v i_o from_o all_o my_o uncleanness_n ezek._n 36._o 25_o 29._o act._n 15._o 9_o 4._o to_o plead_v earnest_o with_o god_n to_o take_v away_o all_o iniquity_n hos_fw-la 14._o 2._o and_o to_o create_v in_o i_o a_o clean_a heart_n ps_n 51._o 10._o and_o to_o succeed_v my_o prayer_n with_o endeavour_n to_o put_v away_o evil_a and_o uncleanness_n out_o of_o my_o heart_n and_o life_n isa_n 1._o 16._o 18._o 2_o cor._n 7._o 1._o these_o be_v many_o of_o those_o judicious_a observation_n which_o this_o holy_a person_n make_v and_o those_o spiritual_a experience_n he_o find_v and_o record_v for_o his_o own_o use_n that_o he_o may_v always_o have_v at_o hand_n before_o he_o the_o manner_n and_o method_n of_o god_n deal_v with_o his_o soul_n the_o work_n of_o corruption_n and_o grace_n his_o lapse_n and_o recovery_n his_o combat_n and_o victory_n over_o world_n sin_n and_o satan_n his_o perseverance_n and_o progress_n in_o holiness_n the_o secret_a intercourse_n between_o god_n and_o his_o soul_n the_o withdrawing_n and_o return_v of_o the_o holy_a spirit_n the_o faithfulness_n of_o god_n covenant_n the_o truth_n of_o his_o word_n sensible_o feel_v in_o his_o heart_n food_n for_o his_o faith_n encouragement_n to_o walk_v with_o god_n with_o experimental_a instruction_n how_o to_o comfort_v trouble_v conscience_n in_o which_o part_n of_o the_o ministry_n he_o have_v a_o peculiar_a excellency_n beyond_o most_o part_n of_o his_o brethren_n for_o partly_o by_o his_o diligent_a search_n of_o the_o holy_a scripture_n partly_o by_o observe_v and_o record_v the_o method_n of_o the_o holy_a ghost_n towards_o himself_o and_o partly_o by_o discourse_v with_o trouble_a conscience_n wherein_o as_o he_o be_v much_o exercise_v so_o he_o take_v much_o delight_n he_o be_v so_o acquaint_v with_o the_o various_a case_n of_o conscience_n and_o so_o well_o understand_v both_o case_n and_o cure_v that_o it_o may_v be_v true_o say_v of_o he_o the_o lord_n god_n have_v give_v he_o the_o tongue_n of_o the_o learned_a that_o he_o may_v know_v how_o to_o speak_v a_o word_n in_o season_n to_o the_o weary_a on_o which_o account_n he_o may_v be_v surname_v barnabas_n a_o son_n of_o consolation_n it_o be_v his_o usual_a manner_n in_o preach_v to_o foresee_v and_o raise_v such_o objection_n as_o trouble_a soul_n be_v prone_a to_o make_v against_o themselves_o and_o to_o solve_v they_o with_o much_o clearness_n and_o satisfaction_n and_o many_o application_n of_o such_o soul_n be_v make_v to_o to_o he_o in_o private_a as_o to_o a_o skilful_a experience_a spiritual_a physician_n who_o advice_n god_n succeed_v with_o his_o blessing_n to_o the_o encouragement_n of_o the_o faith_n and_o hope_n of_o many_o doubt_a christian_n that_o walk_v in_o darkness_n which_o be_v here_o publish_v not_o only_o as_o instance_n and_o demonstration_n of_o that_o spirit_n of_o light_n and_o grace_n that_o power_n of_o godliness_n which_o possess_v and_o govern_v his_o heart_n and_o life_n and_o fit_v he_o to_o be_v such_o a_o useful_a instrument_n for_o the_o service_n of_o christ_n and_o his_o church_n on_o which_o account_n his_o memory_n be_v worthy_o honourable_a and_o precious_a to_o all_o good_a man_n but_o especial_o for_o the_o instruction_n direction_n relief_n support_n and_o encouragement_n of_o other_o who_o be_v follow_v he_o though_o at_o a_o great_a distance_n in_o that_o narrow_a way_n which_o lead_v to_o that_o life_n to_o which_o he_o be_v arrive_v they_o who_o labour_n and_o be_v heavy_a lade_v who_o be_v bow_v down_o under_o the_o power_n and_o weight_n of_o their_o sin_n wrestle_v with_o corruption_n and_o temptation_n exercise_v with_o darkness_n and_o doubt_n with_o fear_n and_o faint_n they_o who_o be_v call_v to_o difficult_a service_n which_o require_v much_o labour_n and_o diligence_n and_o self-denial_n and_o may_v expose_v they_o to_o the_o hazard_n and_o danger_n of_o this_o evil_a world_n may_v hence_o take_v counsel_n and_o encouragement_n while_o they_o read_v the_o sense_n and_o work_n of_o their_o own_o heart_n in_o the_o experience_n the_o method_n and_o practicablenesse_n of_o their_o duty_n in_o the_o example_n of_o this_o eminent_a saint_n we_o have_v hitherto_o see_v something_n of_o his_o conscience_n of_o sin_n and_o duty_n his_o industry_n and_o zeal_n for_o the_o service_n and_o glory_n of_o god_n his_o combat_n with_o the_o flesh_n and_o satan_n his_o love_n to_o christ_n and_o his_o church_n his_o spirituality_n in_o religion_n his_o long_n and_o breathe_n after_o god_n his_o remember_a god_n upon_o his_o bed_n and_o meditate_v on_o he_o in_o the_o night_n watch_v his_o wise_a improvement_n of_o the_o holy_a scripture_n his_o due_a fulfil_n of_o all_o relation_n his_o holy_a manner_n of_o live_v to_o god_n from_o whence_o we_o may_v rational_o conclude_v that_o sure_o he_o give_v this_o diligence_n unto_o the_o full_a assurance_n of_o hope_n that_o he_o taste_v the_o consolation_n of_o god_n and_o receive_v the_o earnest_n of_o glory_n that_o he_o walk_v upon_o the_o top_n of_o pisgah_n in_o the_o light_n of_o god_n countenance_n and_o in_o the_o sight_n of_o the_o heavenly_a canaan_n which_o privilege_n indeed_o the_o god_n of_o peace_n and_o comfort_n do_v not_o deny_v he_o he_o be_v a_o man_n as_o of_o much_o grace_n so_o of_o much_o peace_n a_o instance_n of_o that_o
the_o covenant_n for_o he_o promise_v to_o make_v a_o everlasting_a covenant_n with_o such_o as_o come_v to_o he_o isa_n 55._o 3._o 2._o my_o engage_v my_o heart_n to_o approach_v to_o god_n jer._n 30._o 21_o 22._o 3._o my_o be_v one_o of_o god_n servant_n as_o before_z isa_n 41._o 9_o 10_o thou_o be_v my_o servant_n i_o be_o thy_o god_n 4._o the_o law_n of_o god_n in_o my_o heart_n and_o my_o delight_n to_o do_v the_o will_n of_o god_n jer._n 31._o 33._o ps_n 40._o 8._o 5._o my_o fear_n of_o god_n jer._n 32._o 38_o 39_o 40._o which_o fear_n be_v discern_v by_o eschew_v and_o depart_v from_o evil_n job_n 1._o 1._o prov._n 16._o 6._o 6._o my_o choose_v the_o lord_n for_o my_o god_n ps_n 16._o 2._o and_o voluntary_a give_v up_o myself_o to_o he_o to_o obey_v his_o voice_n and_o keep_v his_o way_n deut._n 26._o 17_o 18_o 19_o jer._n 7._o 23._o 7._o my_o willingness_n to_o leave_v earthly_a enjoyment_n at_o the_o call_n of_o god_n set_v loose_a to_o the_o world_n look_v upon_o myself_o as_o a_o stranger_n and_o pilgrim_n on_o the_o earth_n and_o prefer_v and_o seek_v heavenly_a thing_n above_o earthly_a for_o god_n be_v not_o ashamed_a to_o be_v call_v their_o god_n that_o be_v and_o do_v thus_o 11._o 13_o 14_o 15._o 16._o hence_o i_o infer_v for_o my_o comfort_n 1._o god_n audience_n of_o my_o prayer_n mic._n 7._o 7._o 2._o god_n presence_n with_o i_o in_o all_o condition_n isa_n 43._o 1_o 2_o 3._o 3._o a_o supply_n of_o all_o my_o want_n ps_n 23._o 1._o 4._o strength_n and_o assistance_n to_o all_o service_n or_o suffering_n isa_n 41._o 10._o 5._o he_o will_v be_v my_o god_n and_o guide_n for_o ever_o ps_n 48._o 14._o 6._o he_o will_v pardon_v my_o sin_n and_o not_o forsake_v and_o cast_v i_o off_o mic._n 7._o 17_o 18_o 19_o 1_o sam._n 12._o 20_o 22._o jer._n 51._o 5._o and_o i_o charge_v it_o on_o myself_o as_o my_o duty_n 1._o to_o walk_v humble_o with_o god_n mic._n 6._o 8._o 2._o to_o seek_v he_o early_o ps_n 63._o 1._o 3._o to_o praise_v and_o exalt_v he_o ps_n 116._o 28._o 4._o to_o love_v he_o above_o all_o with_o all_o my_o heart_n deut._n 6._o 5._o 5._o to_o turn_v to_o he_o when_o ever_o i_o shall_v depart_v from_o he_o hos_fw-la 12._o 6._o 6._o to_o trust_v in_o he_o continual_o for_o all_o thing_n psal_n 18._o 2_o 91._o 2._o yea_o in_o time_n of_o great_a danger_n distress_n and_o fear_n psal_n 31._o 13_o 14._o ps_n 42._o 11._o 1_o sam._n 30._o 4._o 6._o evidence_n of_o god_n love_n to_o my_o soul_n 1._o his_o draw_v of_o i_o to_o christ_n jer_n 31._o 3._o who_o god_n draw_v he_o love_v with_o a_o everlasting_a love_n now_o i_o find_v that_o god_n have_v draw_v i_o because_o my_o soul_n be_v come_v to_o christ_n and_o go_v daily_o to_o he_o and_o no_o man_n can_v come_v to_o christ_n except_o the_o father_n draw_v he_o joh._n 6._o 44._o 2._o his_o give_v i_o faith_n he_o love_v those_o that_o through_o the_o word_n believe_v in_o his_o son_n even_o as_o he_o love_v his_o own_o son_n joh._n 17._o 20._o 23._o 3._o god_n love_v those_o that_o love_v he_o and_o that_o love_v his_o son_n jesus_n christ_n prov._n 8._o 17._o 1_o joh._n 4._o 19_o joh._n 14._o 21._o 16._o 27._o i_o find_v that_o god_n have_v give_v i_o a_o heart_n to_o love_v he_o and_o his_o son_n jesus_n christ_n 4._o a_o principle_n of_o spiritual_a life_n infuse_v into_o my_o soul_n whereby_o i_o live_v to_o god_n be_v a_o evidence_n of_o god_n love_n to_o i_o ezek._n 16._o 6._o 8_o eph._n 2._o 4_o 5._o 5._o god_n love_v not_o only_o the_o righteous_a ps_n 146._o 8._o but_o such_o also_o as_o follow_v after_o righteousness_n prov._n 15._o 9_o which_o through_o grace_n i_o find_v he_o have_v cause_v i_o to_o do_v my_o comfort_n in_o this_o be_v that_o this_o be_v a_o everlasting_a love_n jer._n 31._o 3._o joh._n 13._o 1._o nothing_o shall_v separate_v i_o from_o it_o rom._n 8._o 38_o 39_o no_o not_o my_o sin_n ps_n 89._o 30_o 31_o 32_o 33_o 34._o though_o the_o mountain_n and_o hill_n depart_v his_o lovingkindness_n shall_v not_o depart_v isa_n 54._o 10._o admire_v and_o adore_v this_o love_n oh_o my_o soul_n 1_o joh._n 3_o 1._o evidence_n of_o god_n accept_v my_o person_n and_o service_n this_o enquiry_n be_v necessary_a 1_o sy_n because_o both_o work_n and_o person_n must_v come_v to_o judgement_n 2_o cor._n 5._o 9_o 10._o 2_o lie_n though_o it_o be_v a_o mercy_n to_o have_v our_o service_n accept_v of_o the_o saint_n rom._n 15._o 30_o 31._o yet_o the_o main_a thing_n we_o shall_v labour_v for_o be_v to_o be_v approve_v of_o god_n 2_o tim._n 2._o 15._o for_o the_o approbation_n of_o man_n without_o the_o acceptation_n of_o god_n be_v little_a worth_n 2_o cor._n 10._o ult_n evidence_n 1._o isa_n 56._o 6_o 7._o there_o the_o lord_n promise_v to_o accept_v their_o burnt-offering_n and_o sacrifice_n upon_o his_o altar_n that_o be_v all_o their_o service_n which_o they_o perform_v in_o christ_n name_n who_o be_v call_v a_o altar_n heb._n 13._o 10._o and_o who_o be_v typify_v by_o the_o altar_n under_o the_o moysaicall_a law_n who_o join_v themselves_o to_o the_o lord_n to_o love_n and_o serve_v he_o and_o keep_v his_o sabbath_n and_o take_v hold_v of_o his_o covenant_n even_o to_o every_o such_o person_n he_o promise_v acceptation_n of_o their_o service_n signify_v by_o burnt-offering_n and_o sacrifice_n now_o bless_v be_v god_n he_o have_v enable_v i_o by_o grace_n in_o some_o measure_n thus_o to_o do_v 2._o rom._n 14._o 18._o he_o that_o in_o these_o thing_n serve_v christ_n be_v acceptable_a to_o god_n in_o these_o thing_n i._n e._n in_o righteousness_n peace_n and_o joy_v mention_v v._n 17._o here_o i_o see_v that_o when_o in_o obedience_n to_o christ_n command_n and_o in_o discharge_n of_o the_o work_n and_o call_v i_o have_v be_v call_v to_o by_o christ_n i_o endeavour_v by_o preach_v write_v conference_n private_a instruction_n to_o beget_v or_o promote_v righteousness_n peace_n or_o joy_n in_o the_o holy_a ghost_n i_o be_o accept_v of_o god_n 3._o act._n 10._o 35._o in_o every_o nation_n he_o that_o fear_v god_n and_o work_v righteousness_n be_v accept_v of_o he_o we_o then_o work_v righteousness_n when_o we_o work_v that_o which_o god_n command_v we_o ps_n 119._o 172._o all_o thy_o commandment_n be_v righteousness_n this_o i_o endeavour_v 4._o gen._n 4._o 7._o if_o thou_o do_v well_o shall_v thou_o not_o be_v accept_v then_o we_o do_v well_o when_o we_o serve_v the_o lord_n faithful_o mat._n 25._o 23._o and_o when_o we_o show_v love_n to_o our_o neighbour_n jam._n 2._o 8._o whereof_o i_o have_v the_o testimony_n of_o my_o conscience_n evidence_n of_o eternal_a life_n god_n have_v out_o of_o his_o free_a grace_n bless_a be_v his_o name_n give_v i_o good_a hope_n of_o eternal_a life_n from_o these_o scripture_n 1._o joh._n 3._o 16._o whosoever_o believe_v in_o christ_n shall_v not_o perish_v but_o have_v everlasting_a life_n this_o promise_n have_v oft_o refresh_v and_o satisfy_v my_o soul_n when_o i_o have_v be_v commune_v with_o my_o own_o heart_n about_o the_o ground_n of_o my_o hope_n of_o eternal_a life_n for_o i_o find_v that_o god_n have_v give_v i_o a_o heart_n to_o believe_v in_o christ_n and_o the_o promise_n be_v whosoever_o believe_v without_o any_o exception_n of_o the_o greatness_n frequency_n or_o long_a continuance_n of_o our_o sin_n when_o i_o have_v be_v unable_a to_o work_v the_o work_n of_o god_n i_o have_v find_v a_o heart_n to_o believe_v 2._o 2_o sam._n 23._o 5._o although_o my_o house_n be_v not_o so_o with_o god_n yet_o god_n have_v make_v with_o i_o a_o everlasting_a covenant_n order_v in_o all_o thing_n and_o sure_a for_o this_o be_v all_o my_o salvation_n and_o all_o my_o desire_n although_o he_o make_v it_o not_o to_o grow_v here_o i_o observe_v 1_o st_z that_o be_v in_o covenant_n with_o god_n be_v a_o sufficient_a ground_n to_o hope_v for_o salvation_n this_o be_v all_o my_o salvation_n he_o have_v make_v with_o i_o a_o everlasting_a covenant_n 2_o lie_n the_o sinful_a infirmity_n and_o miscarriage_n of_o the_o servant_n of_o god_n shall_v not_o discourage_v they_o from_o hope_v in_o god_n for_o eternal_a salvation_n by_o virtue_n of_o his_o covenant_n david_n have_v be_v guilty_a of_o several_a miscarriage_n beside_o his_o great_a fail_v in_o the_o matter_n of_o uriah_n as_o unbelief_n 1_o sam._n 27._o 1._o dissimulation_n and_o lie_v to_o achish_n v_o 10._o unkind_a if_o not_o unjust_a deal_n with_o mephihosheth_n in_o give_v away_o half_a his_o estate_n upon_o a_o false_a accusation_n of_o ziba_n 2_o sam._n 19_o 27_o 28_o 29._o etc._n etc._n yet_o in_o a_o die_a hour_n he_o