thou_o friend_n how_o come_v thou_o hither_o not_o have_v on_o thy_o wedding-garment_n he_o see_v thy_o heart_n and_o see_v thou_o have_v it_o on_o oh_o he_o come_v and_o it_o be_v but_o to_o whisper_v thou_o a_o welcome_n in_o thy_o ear_n it_o be_v but_o to_o fall_v about_o thy_o neck_n and_o kiss_v thy_o beteared_a cheek_n and_o bid_v thou_o a_o kind_a welcome_n to_o thy_o bleed_a lord_n soul_n oh_o do_v i_o think_v to_o be_v thus_o much_o make_v of_o i_o think_v he_o will_v not_o have_v mind_v i_o but_o i_o do_v no_o soon_o appear_v and_o set_v my_o foot_n within_o the_o door_n but_o he_o run_v to_o meet_v i_o he_o take_v i_o in_o his_o arm_n he_o bring_v i_o hither_o and_o set_v i_o here_o be_v this_o a_o house_n or_o be_v it_o a_o palace_n be_v this_o a_o court_n for_o prince_n or_o for_o angel_n never_o do_v place_n more_o ravish_v i_o into_o amazement_n than_o this_o place_n beautiful_a be_v thy_o gate_n o_o zion_n o_o how_o pleasant_a be_v the_o habitation_n of_o the_o most_o 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you_o in_o this_o case_n and_o mark_v his_o deal_n with_o you_o herein_o that_o you_o may_v admire_v he_o when_o a_o man_n begin_v first_o to_o set_v his_o face_n zion-ward_n yea_o and_o afterward_o when_o he_o have_v make_v some_o progress_n in_o those_o way_n the_o devil_n do_v exceed_o labour_v with_o such_o a_o soul_n to_o afflight_v â—im_a from_o the_o way_n of_o holiness_n in_o suggest_v that_o his_o former_a company_n will_v despise_v he_o and_o in_o these_o new_a way_n there_o must_v be_v more_o strictness_n of_o life_n more_o tentation_n and_o trouble_n of_o spirit_n which_o kind_n of_o argument_n will_v be_v apt_a to_o stagger_v such_o a_o soul_n very_o much_o because_o as_o yet_o they_o be_v but_o weak_a and_o have_v not_o such_o powerful_a principle_n infuse_v into_o they_o as_o may_v make_v they_o strong_a enough_o to_o find_v the_o yoke_n of_o christ_n easy_a therefore_o it_o will_v be_v the_o best_a way_n for_o such_o a_o soul_n to_o resolve_v still_o to_o go_v on_o 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believe_v he_o he_o say_v he_o will_v pardon_v wash_v and_o cleanse_v thou_o and_o take_v thou_o to_o himself_o and_o betrothe_v thou_o to_o he_o for_o ever_o and_o after_o all_o will_v give_v thou_o to_o see_v his_o glory_n even_o the_o same_o glory_n which_o he_o have_v before_o the_o world_n and_o the_o father_n be_v willing_a to_o all_o this_o for_o he_o tell_v thou_o his_o son_n be_v his_o well-beloved_a son_n and_o bid_v thou_o believe_v he_o and_o misdoubt_v not_o one_o syllable_n and_o can_v thou_o after_o all_o this_o doubt_n that_o the_o father_n be_v not_o willing_a but_o do_v not_o his_o angel_n likewise_o who_o be_v minister_a spirit_n with_o voice_n and_o look_n proclaim_v as_o much_o that_o heaven_n be_v well_o please_v with_o the_o son_n and_o with_o his_o death_n and_o passion_n and_o so_o with_o thou_o in_o he_o do_v not_o the_o angel_n admire_v the_o mystery_n of_o redeem_v grace_n that_o make_v they_o so_o desirous_a to_o peep_v into_o it_o why_o do_v they_o proclaim_v his_o come_n into_o the_o world_n and_o sing_v for_o joy_n that_o there_o be_v goodwill_n in_o heaven_n to_o man_n on_o earth_n or_o why_o do_v they_o so_o diligent_o attend_v thou_o by_o night_n and_o by_o day_n thou_o see_v they_o not_o keep_v guard_n about_o thy_o chamber-door_n and_o round_o about_o the_o curtain_n of_o thy_o bed_n why_o do_v they_o attend_v thou_o from_o room_n to_o room_n and_o follow_v thou_o down_o stair_n and_o out_o of_o door_n if_o it_o be_v not_o but_o that_o thou_o be_v some_o great_a princess_n near_o ally_v to_o their_o lord_n and_o master_n thou_o do_v not_o see_v this_o blame_v then_o thy_o eye_n and_o the_o infidelity_n of_o thy_o heart_n shall_v it_o be_v less_o true_a because_o thy_o base_a infidelity_n can_v digest_v it_o thou_o may_v doubt_v god_n heaven_n and_o every_o thing_n else_o on_o that_o score_n but_o have_v thou_o not_o it_o from_o his_o own_o mouth_n that_o the_o angel_n be_v minister_a spirit_n for_o the_o heir_n of_o glory_n come_v tell_v i_o i_o say_v tell_v i_o quick_o i_o must_v have_v a_o answer_n can_v this_o and_o all_o this_o be_v true_a and_o heaven_n yet_o not_o be_v please_v if_o god_n with_o his_o son_n and_o angel_n be_v all_o content_n that_o thou_o shall_v be_v restore_v and_o so_o exalt_v to_o such_o dignity_n as_o to_o be_v heir_n unto_o the_o crown_n of_o heaven_n if_o these_o be_v please_v who_o be_v there_o in_o heaven_n that_o can_v else_o be_v displease_v what_o say_v my_o heart_n what_o not_o yet_o one_o word_n oh_o how_o long_o shall_v i_o be_v trouble_v and_o pester_v with_o thy_o unbelief_n oh_o my_o god_n strike_v chide_v and_o break_v this_o flint_n reprove_v this_o stubborn_a and_o unbelieving_a heart_n i_o can_v persuade_v it_o that_o thou_o love_v i_o or_o be_v willing_a to_o love_v i_o i_o urge_v thy_o word_n and_o my_o best_a reason_n to_o prove_v it_o but_o i_o can_v make_v it_o yield_v oh_o break_v i_o pray_v thou_o this_o flint_n or_o adamant_n upon_o thy_o downy_a breast_n of_o love_n strike_v and_o one_o blow_n of_o thou_o will_v make_v it_o fall_v in_o piece_n and_o confess_v at_o length_n that_o thou_o be_v well_o please_v with_o thy_o son_n and_o full_o satisfy_v that_o he_o shall_v bleed_v and_o die_v for_o i_o but_o let_v i_o try_v thou_o once_o again_o if_o thou_o have_v lose_v thy_o ear_n and_o eye_n i_o will_v see_v if_o thou_o have_v lose_v thy_o feel_n too_o thou_o say_v thou_o can_v not_o believe_v that_o god_n be_v willing_a to_o accept_v the_o son_n for_o thou_o or_o that_o thou_o so_o vile_a a_o wretch_n can_v be_v accept_v of_o by_o the_o father_n
wadsworth_n remain_n be_v a_o collection_n of_o some_o few_o meditation_n with_o respect_n to_o the_o lord_n supper_n three_o pious_a letter_n when_o a_o young_a student_n at_o cambridg_n two_o practical_a sermon_n much_o desire_v by_o the_o hearer_n several_a sacred_a poem_n and_o private_a ejaculation_n by_o that_o late_a eminent_a minister_n of_o the_o gospel_n mr._n thomas_n wadsworth_n with_o a_o preface_n contain_v several_a remarkable_n of_o his_o holy_a life_n and_o death_n from_o his_o own_o notebook_n and_o those_o that_o know_v he_o best_o heb._n 13.7_o remember_v they_o which_o have_v the_o rule_n over_o you_o for_o be_v the_o guide_v to_o you_o who_o have_v speak_v unto_o you_o the_o word_n of_o god_n who_o faith_n follow_v consider_v the_o end_n of_o their_o conversation_n aliud_fw-la est_fw-la locis_fw-la communibus_fw-la laudare_fw-la defunctum_fw-la aliud_fw-la desuncti_fw-la proprias_fw-la narrare_fw-la virtutes_fw-la hieronimâ—s_n in_o vitâ_fw-la hilarionis_fw-la london_n print_v for_o tho._n parkhurst_n at_o the_o bible_n and_o three_o crown_n in_o cheapside_n near_o mercers-chappel_n 1680._o the_o content_n of_o the_o preface_n the_o introduction_n sect._n 1_o his_o birth_n and_o youth_n sect._n 2_o 3._o his_o life_n at_o the_o university_n sect._n 4._o his_o thankfulness_n to_o god_n and_o resolution_n from_o experience_n sect._n 5_o his_o experimental_o difference_v betwixt_o carnal_a and_o spiritual_a love_n and_o joy_n sect._n 6_o 7_o 8_o 9_o his_o experience_n upon_o the_o discovery_n of_o the_o divine_a majesty_n sect._n 10._o his_o check_n to_o the_o lightness_n of_o his_o spirit_n sect._n 11._o observation_n about_o doubt_v and_o examine_v christian_n sect._n 12_o 13._o about_o a_o multitude_n of_o sin_n sect._n 14._o about_o security_n sect._n 15._o mortification_n sect._n 16_o 17._o rise_v of_o pride_n in_o the_o heart_n sect._n 18._o live_v above_o duty_n sect._n 19_o about_o a_o dull_a and_o dead_a state_n sect._n 20._o and_o enjoyment_n sect._n 21._o concern_v self-abasement_n and_o the_o exercise_n of_o humility_n in_o speak_v sect._n 22._o and_o the_o shun_v of_o pride_n sect._n 23._o the_o frame_n of_o his_o spirit_n in_o prayer_n with_o some_o special_a case_n about_o prayer_n sect._n 24_o 25_o 26_o 27_o 28_o 29._o about_o raisedness_n and_o dejection_n remove_v objection_n sect._n 30_o 31._o about_o carnal_a reason_n and_o satan_n suggestion_n sect._n 32._o 33._o of_o god_n love_n in_o outward_a mercy_n and_o wait_a sect._n 34._o of_o not_o meet_v god_n in_o ordinance_n sect._n 35._o of_o mourning_n for_o other_o sin_n and_o pray_v for_o mortification_n of_o a_o particular_a corruption_n sect._n 36._o of_o his_o call_n to_o newington_n sect._n 37_o 38._o his_o observe_v the_o fruit_n of_o his_o ministry_n sect._n 39_o his_o recommend_v catechise_v sect._n 40._o his_o unwearied_a and_o seasonable_a industry_n at_o and_o removal_n from_o newington_n sect._n 41._o his_o lecture_a and_o preach_v in_o london_n and_o ejection_n at_o laurence_n poultney_n sect._n 42._o his_o holy_a prudent_a and_o cheerful_a conversation_n with_o a_o case_n or_o two_o about_o merriness_n and_o tentation_n therein_o sect._n 43_o 44_o 45_o 46_o 47._o of_o raise_v christian_n affection_n sect._n 48._o and_o outward_a mercy_n sect._n 49._o of_o his_o sabbath_n sanctification_n sect._n 50._o of_o his_o affection_n to_o and_o prayer_n for_o his_o relative_n with_o thankfulness_n sect._n 51._o of_o his_o respect_n to_o his_o people_n and_o charity_n sect._n 52._o of_o his_o marriage_n and_o child_n sect._n 53._o of_o his_o sickness_n sect._n 54._o of_o his_o last_o sickness_n sect_n 55_o 56_o 57_o 58_o 59_o his_o death_n sect._n 60._o his_o work_n former_o publish_v sect._n 61._o and_o his_o remain_n with_o the_o conclusion_n sect._n 62._o section_n i._n to_o the_o publication_n of_o these_o remain_v of_o that_o man_n of_o god_n mr._n thomas_n wadsworth_n a_o large_a preface_n of_o his_o holy_a life_n and_o 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for_o dead_a yea_o the_o nurse_n have_v he_o on_o her_o knee_n think_v to_o have_v lay_v he_o out_o as_o a_o dead_a corpse_n only_o stay_v till_o after_o dinner_n in_o which_o space_n she_o think_v he_o have_v expire_v with_o a_o groan_n he_o give_v a_o keck_n whereupon_o she_o present_o put_v her_o finger_n into_o his_o throat_n and_o pull_v out_o a_o core_n which_o be_v remove_v open_v a_o free_a passage_n for_o the_o breast-milk_n in_o this_o weakness_n his_o parent_n seek_v god_n earnest_o â—or_a his_o life_n do_v dedicate_v he_o to_o the_o ministry_n if_o capable_a as_o hannah_n do_v her_o samuel_n to_o the_o lord_n when_o his_o mother_n to_o who_o he_o do_v evermore_o show_v himself_o very_o obedient_a and_o of_o who_o tenderness_n he_o will_v speak_v with_o thankfulness_n to_o the_o last_o sometimes_o towards_o her_o latter_a end_n will_v say_v he_o have_v â—ost_o her_o more_a pain_n in_o bear_v and_o nurse_n than_o any_o â—f_n her_o other_o child_n he_o will_v say_v pleasant_o â—et_o far_o from_o any_o conceitedness_n but_o with_o a_o hearty_a acknowledgement_n of_o her_o motherly_a love_n and_o kindâ—ess_n ah_o mother_n when_o you_o bring_v forth_o i_o you_o â—â—ought_v a_o great_a soul_n into_o the_o world_n they_o that_o know_v he_o best_o have_v abundant_a proof_n that_o he_o real_o be_v such_o a_o one_o he_o do_v timely_o show_v himself_o to_o be_v a_o ingenious_a and_o apt_a scholar_n in_o the_o free-school_n of_o that_o place_n of_o his_o nativity_n where_o the_o strict_a and_o skilful_a master_n encourage_v by_o his_o father_n liberality_n find_v he_o every_o way_n ready_a to_o receive_v instruction_n till_o about_o the_o 10_o year_n of_o his_o age_n he_o be_v fit_v for_o academical_a study_n when_o upon_o his_o father_n frequent_a converse_n with_o the_o reverend_n and_o pious_a dr._n samuel_n bolton_n than_o the_o famous_a lecturer_n of_o the_o parish_n and_o the_o worthy_a master_n of_o christ-colledg_n in_o cambridg_n who_o have_v often_o examine_v he_o at_o his_o father_n house_n and_o find_v he_o not_o only_o very_o religious_o dispose_v but_o well_o accomplish_v with_o school-learning_n he_o be_v then_o remove_v to_o that_o college_n under_o the_o tutoridg_n of_o him_z who_o be_v afterward_o dr._n outram_n who_o have_v a_o great_a value_n for_o he_o as_o long_o as_o he_o live_v iii_o before_o he_o go_v to_o the_o university_n he_o show_v himself_o to_o be_v one_o of_o a_o tender_a conscience_n for_o when_o a_o boy_n have_v take_v a_o fair_a tulip_n out_o of_o another_o garden_n and_o give_v it_o to_o his_o father_n who_o sometime_o after_o ask_v he_o where_o he_o have_v it_o upon_o his_o father_n admonition_n and_o his_o own_o acknowledgement_n of_o his_o youthful_a folly_n as_o augustine_n do_v his_o it_o be_v often_o after_o a_o great_a trouble_n to_o his_o spirit_n and_o do_v keep_v he_o humble_a and_o watchful_a so_o early_o do_v he_o begin_v to_o startle_v at_o the_o commit_n of_o the_o least_o sin_n for_o on_o a_o lordsday_n go_v into_o the_o workhouse_n in_o his_o father_n yard_n and_o there_o a_o little_a loitering_n he_o heedless_o clap_v his_o hand_n on_o a_o tenter-hook_n and_o tear_v his_o hand_n much_o whereupon_o he_o resolve_v no_o more_o to_o misspend_v his_o time_n on_o the_o lordsday_n but_o to_o addict_v himself_o whole_o to_o the_o religious_a observance_n of_o it_o which_o resolution_n he_o be_v know_v to_o keep_v strict_o ever_o after_o both_o at_o home_n and_o abroad_o iv_o when_o at_o the_o university_n he_o make_v good_a proficiency_n in_o that_o learning_n which_o may_v make_v he_o most_o instrumental_a for_o the_o win_n of_o soul_n to_o christ_n that_o be_v main_o design_v by_o he_o in_o the_o service_n of_o his_o generation_n in_o order_n to_o which_o we_o find_v this_o young_a student_n early_o associate_a with_o a_o honest_a club_n of_o scholar_n of_o his_o own_o and_o other_o college_n as_o be_v not_o only_o
god_n have_v not_o mix_v a_o discovery_n of_o love_n with_o majesty_n i_o can_v not_o have_v be_v able_a to_o endure_v the_o sight_n of_o his_o glory_n therefore_o it_o be_v the_o best_a way_n for_o a_o soul_n in_o this_o case_n to_o beg_v earnest_o for_o a_o discovery_n of_o love_n and_o majesty_n leave_v it_o to_o the_o wise_a god_n who_o know_v how_o to_o compound_v these_o together_o for_o the_o comfort_n and_o establishment_n of_o his_o saint_n to_o measure_v out_o the_o degree_n of_o they_o oh_o i_o can_v i_o can_v but_o admire_v the_o greatness_n and_o goodness_n of_o god_n and_o the_o poorness_n and_o meanness_n of_o the_o creature_n and_o i_o can_v set_v my_o seal_n to_o that_o truth_n that_o they_o know_v not_o what_o to_o ask_v aright_o xi_o that_o afternoon_n go_v to_o a_o friend_n with_o who_o we_o meet_v some_o other_o who_o discourse_v of_o the_o aspersion_n which_o carnal_a man_n cast_v upon_o our_o meeting_n call_v we_o blockhead_n sot_n despiser_n of_o learning_n my_o heart_n do_v fly_v out_o into_o vanity_n in_o laugh_v at_o such_o thing_n which_o shall_v rather_o have_v draw_v out_o my_o soul_n to_o mourning_n and_o sigh_v to_o consider_v how_o my_o god_n who_o i_o profess_v so_o much_o love_n to_o shall_v be_v dishonour_v by_o wicked_a man_n after_o which_o be_v come_v home_o i_o be_v dead_a in_o prayer_n which_o i_o look_v upon_o as_o a_o check_n to_o the_o lightness_n of_o my_o spirit_n yet_o before_o i_o go_v to_o bed_n god_n do_v as_o eminent_o raise_v i_o and_o draw_v i_o out_o in_o melt_n for_o that_o forementioned_a vanity_n that_o i_o can_v not_o but_o say_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n help_v i_o with_o sigh_n and_o groan_v unutterable_a for_o my_o heart_n be_v so_o full_a that_o i_o can_v not_o utter_v it_o in_o word_n i_o be_v very_o much_o humble_v and_o true_o i_o may_v say_v to_o his_o honour_n god_n do_v lift_v up_o my_o soul_n in_o a_o great_a measure_n above_o my_o humiliation_n so_o that_o i_o look_v upon_o it_o as_o nothing_o but_o as_o give_v in_o upon_o the_o account_n of_o christ_n oh_o my_o soul_n praise_v the_o lord_n xii_o it_o be_v very_o natural_a for_o young_a convert_v to_o think_v they_o be_v never_o better_o than_o when_o doubt_v and_o call_v their_o state_n in_o question_n ah_o poor_a soul_n let_v i_o ask_v you_o what_o do_v you_o get_v by_o these_o vexatious_a question_n if_o they_o come_v with_o power_n they_o terrify_v and_o then_o those_o that_o have_v they_o desire_v hearty_o they_o may_v be_v off_o again_o instance_n o._n again_o what_o assurance_n of_o god_n love_n and_o comfort_n to_o your_o soul_n do_v you_o get_v by_o they_o if_o thou_o say_v thereby_o thou_o shake_v off_o security_n let_v i_o tell_v thou_o that_o in_o shun_v that_o rock_n thou_o fall_v upon_o one_o as_o bad_a for_o in_o cherish_v of_o such_o doubt_n thou_o cherish_v unbelief_n and_o i_o dare_v say_v there_o be_v no_o sin_n do_v more_o vail_n that_o mystery_n of_o justification_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n reconcile_n the_o world_n unto_o himself_o than_o unbelief_n we_o be_v to_o live_v upon_o christ_n above_o all_o fear_n and_o be_v not_o to_o cherish_v a_o doubt_n any_o more_o than_o a_o temptation_n xiii_o object_n but_o you_o will_v say_v what_o use_n shall_v we_o then_o make_v of_o the_o examination_n of_o our_o heart_n answ_n this_o shall_v be_v the_o use_n by_o it_o learn_v thy_o own_o misery_n that_o by_o the_o sight_n of_o it_o thou_o may_v the_o more_o exalt_v freegrace_n for_o this_o be_v the_o great_a mystery_n of_o the_o gospel_n to_o exalt_v the_o love_n and_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n in_o order_n to_o which_o man_n self_n must_v be_v abase_v now_o by_o this_o abasement_n be_v not_o mean_v a_o sorrowful_a trouble_a and_o vexatious_a temper_n but_o such_o a_o one_o as_o be_v join_v with_o humility_n and_o for_o tear_n sob_n and_o sigh_n they_o be_v but_o accidental_a or_o rather_o a_o consequent_a of_o this_o humiliation_n and_o self-abasement_n and_o not_o essential_a wherefore_o you_o shall_v observe_v that_o your_o high_a christian_n they_o can_v live_v cheery_o and_o yet_o enjoy_v abundant_o more_o of_o god_n than_o a_o doubt_a christian_n be_v careful_a therefore_o of_o be_v too_o solicitous_a for_o trouble_n of_o spirit_n fourteen_o there_o be_v another_o miscarriage_n in_o saint_n which_o keep_v they_o from_o a_o full_a close_n with_o christ_n and_o that_o be_v the_o multitude_n of_o their_o sin_n if_o think_v they_o my_o sin_n bid_v be_v but_o petty_a sin_n i_o can_v have_v go_v to_o christ_n but_o they_o be_v aggravate_v sin_n against_o love_n i_o have_v have_v hard_a thought_n of_o god_n blasphemous_a rise_n of_o heart_n against_o god_n such_o have_v o._n who_o after_o this_o manner_n reason_v i_o answer_v that_o thou_o look_v upon_o god_n pardon_v of_o sin_n with_o too_o carnal_a a_o eye_n and_o think_v that_o in_o this_o he_o be_v like_a to_o man_n that_o because_o it_o be_v hard_o to_o man_n who_o be_v unwilling_a to_o put_v up_o the_o three_o offence_n as_o he_o have_v do_v the_o first_o and_o second_o therefore_o it_o be_v so_o to_o god_n alas_o this_o be_v a_o most_o gross_a mistake_n wherefore_o know_v as_o there_o be_v no_o degree_n of_o hatred_n in_o god_n who_o be_v infinite_a so_o god_n be_v as_o full_o angry_a at_o one_o sin_n as_o at_o ten_o thousand_o and_o may_v as_o soon_o punish_v a_o man_n for_o one_o as_o for_o a_o million_o because_o he_o who_o be_v absolute_o perfect_a admit_v no_o degree_n of_o love_n or_o hatred_n therefore_o when_o thou_o look_v upon_o thyself_o as_o offend_v love_n as_o sin_v against_o mercy_n eye_n god_n as_o make_v the_o covenant_n of_o grace_n in_o christ_n immediate_o and_o to_o thou_o in_o christ_n and_o from_o that_o aspect_n thou_o may_v draw_v this_o inference_n that_o though_o i_o change_v yet_o god_n can_v change_v for_o the_o covenant_n of_o grace_n stand_v firm_a still_o for_o he_o with_o who_o god_n make_v it_o take_v in_o that_o which_o some_o call_v the_o covenant_n of_o redemption_n stand_v as_o firm_o as_o himself_o and_o so_o unmovable_a whereupon_o my_o state_n be_v firm_a by_o virtue_n of_o that_o covenant_n now_o this_o consideration_n be_v very_o rational_a for_o if_o god_n make_v his_o covenant_n immediate_o with_o we_o every_o time_n we_o shall_v sin_v god_n must_v renew_v his_o covenant_n for_o we_o shall_v lack_v still_o a_o new_a mediator_n but_o say_v god_n i_o have_v make_v a_o everlasting_a covenant_n with_o you_o which_o be_v upon_o the_o consideration_n of_o a_o ever-standing_a christ_n xv._o if_o you_o will_v know_v whether_o there_o be_v security_n mix_v with_o your_o faith_n and_o your_o dependence_n upon_o god_n as_o for_o the_o welfare_n of_o your_o soul_n it_o will_v be_v a_o good_a way_n to_o put_v this_o question_n to_o the_o soul_n whether_o it_o can_v trust_v god_n with_o its_o body_n in_o case_n of_o exigency_n suppose_v thou_o do_v want_v outward_a sustinence_n suppose_v god_n shall_v call_v thou_o out_o to_o lay_v thy_o body_n at_o the_o stake_n for_o he_o for_o this_o be_v very_o common_a to_o saint_n they_o can_v find_v in_o themselves_o that_o they_o do_v full_o resign_v up_o their_o soul_n to_o god_n yet_o in_o the_o proposal_n of_o such_o case_n they_o will_v find_v their_o faith_n begin_v to_o stagger_v wherefore_o if_o thou_o find_v thyself_o in_o this_o case_n to_o doubt_v trust_v god_n and_o assure_v thyself_o that_o he_o who_o have_v draw_v out_o thy_o soul_n in_o dependence_n as_o for_o the_o one_o will_v also_o do_v it_o for_o the_o other_o see_v as_o to_o this_o case_n psal_n 78._o and_o compare_v the_o condition_n of_o the_o israelite_n to_o thou_o and_o see_v whether_o thou_o can_v have_v believe_v god_n in_o those_o thing_n which_o they_o do_v not_o xvi_o sometime_o saint_n be_v still_o and_o quiet_a as_o to_o the_o rise_n of_o corruption_n as_o passion_n viz._n anger_n etc._n etc._n and_o think_v it_o be_v mortify_v because_o it_o be_v still_o upon_o apply_v of_o the_o soul_n to_o the_o blood_n of_o christ_n yet_o if_o so_o be_v that_o particular_a corruption_n do_v afterward_o rise_v again_o they_o be_v apt_a to_o conclude_v that_o sin_n be_v not_o mortify_v answ_n yet_o first_o we_o may_v conclude_v that_o mortification_n and_o the_o rise_n of_o corruption_n be_v not_o whole_o inconsistent_a but_o may_v be_v in_o the_o same_o subject_n in_o different_a degree_n for_o this_o be_v certain_a that_o corruption_n can_v be_v total_o subdue_v in_o this_o life_n if_o thou_o say_v why_o may_v they_o not_o be_v total_o mortify_v as_o to_o the_o rise_n of_o they_o as_o well_o as_o for_o a_o time_n for_o i_o remember_v they_o be_v still_o as_o to_o the_o rise_n of_o they_o
for_o a_o time_n answ_n thou_o have_v better_o conclude_v that_o thou_o be_v blind_a rather_o as_o to_o the_o discovery_n of_o they_o than_o that_o they_o do_v not_o at_o all_o rise_n at_o that_o time_n but_o for_o more_o narrow_a search_n into_o this_o case_n consider_v whether_o thy_o corruption_n now_o rise_v be_v resist_v by_o thou_o more_o than_o they_o be_v before_o if_o so_o conclude_v then_o the_o mortification_n of_o they_o second_o it_o be_v not_o best_o in_o this_o case_n to_o ask_v the_o question_n too_o deep_o whether_o they_o be_v mortify_v before_o because_o the_o devil_n hereby_o will_v take_v advantage_n of_o the_o soul_n to_o vex_v it_o but_o rather_o apply_v thyself_o to_o christ_n by_o new_a act_n of_o faith_n as_o to_o the_o mortificationof_n they_o xvii_o often_o time_n soul_n be_v puzzle_v in_o their_o inquiry_n into_o the_o mortification_n of_o corruption_n and_o know_v not_o what_o to_o conclude_v of_o they_o for_o if_o they_o look_v upon_o their_o heart_n they_o find_v corruption_n either_o bubble_a and_o rise_v up_o and_o impetuous_a or_o else_o they_o be_v still_o if_o rise_v that_o make_v against_o the_o mortification_n of_o they_o if_o they_o rise_v not_o they_o be_v apt_a to_o conclude_v they_o be_v rather_o still_o than_o mortify_v to_o resolve_v such_o a_o soul_n i_o think_v it_o be_v best_o for_o it_o to_o look_v upon_o that_o in_o the_o soul_n which_o be_v opposite_a to_o sin_n and_o to_o examine_v whether_o there_o be_v great_a love_n to_o god_n in_o he_o whether_o he_o love_v saint_n more_o and_o be_v more_o desirous_a that_o his_o sin_n shall_v be_v mortify_v than_o former_o if_o he_o find_v these_o thing_n in_o he_o he_o may_v conclude_v that_o his_o sin_n be_v in_o a_o great_a measure_n mortify_v for_o sin_n and_o grace_n or_o love_n to_o god_n be_v like_o two_o scale_n and_o if_o you_o can_v but_o discover_v that_o grace_n be_v high_a or_o your_o love_n and_o breathe_n be_v great_a you_o may_v conclude_v that_o sin_n be_v low_a and_o mortify_v xviii_o on_o saturday_n august_n 17_o 1650._o he_o record_v i_o be_v exceed_o trouble_v with_o rise_n of_o a_o proud_a heart_n and_o on_o sabath-day_n in_o the_o morning_n i_o find_v the_o like_a accompany_v with_o envy_v against_o the_o raisement_n of_o other_o saint_n as_o if_o i_o will_v have_v none_o high_o than_o myself_o yea_o and_o in_o the_o afternoon_n be_v exceed_v trouble_v with_o lightness_n of_o spirit_n so_o that_o i_o can_v scarce_o forbear_v laugh_v at_o church_n and_o after_o when_o i_o come_v home_o for_o one_o of_o trinity_n be_v with_o i_o i_o be_v fain_o to_o leave_v he_o in_o the_o chamber_n and_o enter_v my_o study_n lest_o i_o shall_v betray_v the_o nakedness_n of_o my_o heart_n oh_o curse_a heart_n but_o for_o this_o spiritual_a distemper_n my_o heart_n be_v sudden_o trouble_v and_o i_o have_v just_a such_o a_o sorrow_n as_o if_o i_o have_v lose_v some_o outward_a friend_n and_o i_o do_v exceed_o take_v on_o in_o mourning_n for_o my_o folly_n xix_o on_o the_o 22d_o follow_v i_o have_v a_o ingenuous_a melt_a possess_v my_o soul_n on_o a_o sudden_a reflect_v upon_o my_o want_n of_o discovery_n of_o the_o love_n of_o god_n these_o three_o or_o four_o day_n and_o the_o day_n follow_v i_o be_v in_o a_o pretty_a good_a frame_n of_o spirit_n whereupon_o i_o come_v to_o consider_v if_o a_o man_n will_v know_v whether_o he_o live_v above_o all_o his_o duty_n let_v he_o see_v whether_o or_o no_o in_o a_o search_n after_o sanctification_n he_o do_v not_o lay_v more_o stress_n upon_o one_o duty_n than_o another_o for_o this_o soul_n be_v very_o apt_a to_o do_v especial_o on_o those_o duty_n which_o be_v extraordinary_a as_o for_o instance_n if_o thou_o keep_v a_o private_a fast_o with_o some_o other_o christian_n or_o else_o pray_v at_o some_o part_n in_o the_o day_n different_a from_o the_o seâ—-times_n or_o pray_v more_o time_n a_o day_n than_o ordinary_a either_o by_o thyself_o or_o with_o other_o christian_n or_o such_o time_n as_o those_o above_o pray_v at_o the_o chapel_n if_o thou_o do_v it_o be_v a_o sign_n that_o there_o be_v a_o tincture_n of_o self-dependence_n therefore_o it_o be_v the_o best_a way_n to_o make_v a_o equal_a conscience_n of_o they_o all_o as_o for_o performance_n of_o they_o and_o look_v on_o they_o all_o with_o the_o same_o eye_n and_o say_v that_o thou_o be_v unprofitable_a in_o they_o all_o and_o that_o thou_o may_v attain_v to_o this_o temper_n after_o every_o duty_n examine_v what_o vanity_n of_o thought_n what_o formality_n in_o spirit_n thou_o have_v in_o the_o do_n of_o they_o that_o thou_o may_v see_v they_o be_v all_o nothing_o without_o christ_n xx._n what_o shall_v i_o do_v in_o a_o dull_a and_o dead_a state_n answ_n 1_o double_o the_o watch_n over_o thy_o own_o heart_n aâ—d_a affection_n it_o be_v common_a to_o see_v a_o soul_n dead_a and_o careless_a 2_o labour_v to_o strengthen_v faith_n in_o the_o promise_v of_o god_n love_n and_o willingness_n to_o receive_v soul_n the_o parable_n of_o the_o prodigal_n and_o that_o if_o a_o child_n aâ—k_v his_o father_n bread_n will_v he_o give_v he_o a_o stone_n etc._n etc._n shall_v be_v consider_v 3_o make_v this_o improvement_n of_o thy_o present_a deadness_n to_o humble_v thy_o soul_n and_o see_v thy_o own_o vileness_n that_o thou_o shall_v abuse_v such_o riches_n of_o grace_n as_o it_o may_v be_v thou_o have_v do_v and_o by_o that_o sin_n shall_v cause_v that_o deadness_n take_v heed_n of_o slight_v the_o deadness_n of_o your_o heart_n if_o you_o do_v you_o grow_v careless_a of_o god_n anger_n for_o deadness_n be_v a_o sign_n that_o god_n be_v angry_a xxi_o what_o shall_v a_o man_n do_v in_o enjoyment_n answ_n it_o be_v common_a for_o such_o soul_n present_o to_o grow_v so_o confident_a of_o themselves_o as_o to_o let_v go_v their_o watch_n and_o so_o oftentimes_o be_v betray_v by_o their_o enemy_n 1_o be_v then_o as_o earnest_n for_o the_o enjoy_n of_o more_o of_o god_n when_o thou_o be_v raise_v as_o thou_o be_v to_o enjoy_v any_o thing_n of_o god_n when_o thou_o be_v not_o let_v not_o a_o discovery_n of_o love_n stop_v thy_o breathe_n saint_n often_o sit_v down_o here_o and_o so_o fall_v back_o again_o 2_o seek_v to_o redouble_v thy_o faith_n to_o make_v it_o strong_a than_o ever_o for_o time_n will_v be_v that_o thou_o may_v have_v use_n of_o it_o 3_o labour_v to_o humble_v thyself_o under_o thy_o enjoyment_n let_v not_o the_o thought_n of_o sonship_n dry_v up_o thy_o eye_n but_o be_v sure_o the_o more_o of_o self-abhorrency_a the_o more_o evidence_n of_o thy_o sonship_n xxii_o on_o saturday_n the_o 5_o and_o sabbath-day_n the_o 6_o of_o octob._n 1650_o he_o record_v the_o lord_n humble_v i_o much_o in_o the_o sight_n of_o unworthy_a deal_n with_o god_n and_o i_o may_v say_v god_n be_v in_o i_o of_o a_o truth_n this_o grace_n be_v then_o so_o lively_a in_o i_o that_o i_o press_v it_o much_o to_o the_o company_n but_o yet_o oh_o wretched_a heart_n before_o i_o come_v out_o 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distemper_n as_o savour_n of_o self_n seek_v and_o labour_n to_o get_v holy_a principle_n such_o as_o love_v to_o god_n to_o be_v the_o spring_n of_o all_o thy_o word_n action_n and_o walking_n and_o then_o thou_o may_v take_v comfort_n in_o they_o for_o if_o any_o other_o humility_n which_o be_v carnal_a be_v find_v prevail_v in_o thou_o it_o will_v argue_v hypocrisy_n there_o be_v so_o much_o pride_n in_o man_n natural_o that_o when_o god_n begin_v to_o work_v upon_o the_o soul_n he_o find_v no_o great_a a_o enemy_n to_o it_o than_o pride_n and_o of_o nothing_o more_o do_v saint_n complain_v than_o it_o which_o make_v they_o unfit_a for_o any_o company_n any_o discourse_n and_o therefore_o
in_o the_o blood_n of_o jesus_n for_o the_o pardon_v of_o that_o sin_n and_o strength_n against_o it_o if_o not_o we_o may_v very_o well_o suspect_v that_o we_o do_v not_o resolve_v in_o the_o strength_n of_o christ_n xxvii_o say_v a_o poor_a saint_n i_o have_v go_v to_o prayer_n many_o a_o time_n and_o have_v be_v exceed_o low_a and_o have_v pray_v with_o much_o carelessness_n just_a as_o if_o i_o be_v talk_v or_o tell_v a_o tale_n what_o shall_v i_o do_v in_o such_o a_o case_n answ_n first_o that_o neither_o raisedness_n nor_o flatness_n in_o prayer_n be_v the_o reason_n why_o god_n hear_v thou_o and_o therefore_o consider_v that_o in_o prayer_n thou_o be_v to_o approach_v a_o god-mediating_a a_o god-man_n and_o not_o a_o mere_a creature_n but_o thus_o thou_o do_v if_o thou_o think_v god_n will_v not_o hear_v thou_o except_o god_n raise_v thou_o thou_o make_v raisedness_n the_o ground_n of_o thy_o acceptance_n which_o be_v but_o a_o mere_a create_v be_v as_o all_o other_o grace_n be_v oh_o take_v heed_n then_o of_o depend_v upon_o ashur_n say_v ashur_n shall_v not_o help_v i_o but_o on_o the_o lord_n will_v i_o depend_v second_o consider_v this_o for_o thy_o corafort_n that_o though_o thy_o heart_n be_v straighten_a here_o on_o earth_n towards_o god_n and_o in_o mourn_v as_o to_o thy_o own_o vileness_n yet_o christ_n bowel_n be_v not_o in_o heaven_n straighten_a towards_o thou_o he_o be_v not_o so_o capable_a of_o mutability_n as_o thy_o condition_n though_o thou_o lose_v thy_o first_o love_n yet_o he_o be_v the_o same_o yesterday_o to_o day_n and_o for_o ever_o three_o consider_v that_o it_o be_v christ_n intercession_n and_o plead_v with_o his_o father_n for_o thy_o prayer_n and_o not_o thy_o raisedness_n that_o be_v the_o ground_n of_o the_o return_n of_o thy_o prayer_n the_o consideration_n of_o god_n former_a deal_n and_o dispensation_n of_o love_n be_v a_o good_a argument_n to_o move_v god_n in_o prayer_n when_o a_o soul_n be_v at_o a_o loss_n for_o love_n now_o or_o for_o strength_n or_o when_o god_n seem_v to_o hide_v himself_o as_o to_o the_o answer_v of_o thy_o request_n to_o say_v lord_n why_o be_v thou_o so_o strange_a to_o i_o now_o time_n be_v that_o thou_o bear_v i_o as_o a_o lamb_n in_o thy_o bosom_n and_o carry_v i_o into_o thy_o banquet_a house_n and_o feed_v i_o with_o love_n time_n be_v that_o thou_o enravished'_v my_o soul_n with_o a_o glance_n of_o thy_o eye_n what_o be_v become_v of_o thy_o former_a love_n have_v thou_o shut_v up_o thy_o tender_a mercy_n in_o wrath_n see_v the_o psalmist_n thus_o plead_v in_o psal_n 77._o xxviii_o i_o have_v be_v in_o such_o a_o temper_n that_o i_o have_v find_v my_o heart_n in_o prayer_n even_o contradict_v my_o tongue_n if_o for_o mortify_v of_o pride_n in_o part_n in_o learning_n my_o heart_n have_v be_v ready_a to_o say_v to_o its_o self_n that_o there_o can_v be_v no_o joy_n except_v in_o exaltation_n of_o self_n as_o good_a to_o have_v no_o learning_n as_o not_o to_o delight_v in_o it_o and_o applaud_v self_n by_o it_o true_o this_o have_v be_v the_o language_n of_o my_o heart_n but_o i_o bless_v my_o god_n that_o he_o have_v give_v i_o a_o joy_n and_o that_o above_o all_o that_o joy_n which_o creature_n can_v possible_o afford_v it_o be_v my_o non-experience_n of_o god_n love_n to_o i_o it_o be_v for_o want_v of_o spiritual_a enravishment_n that_o my_o heart_n become_v so_o vain_a in_o its_o imagination_n oh_o that_o i_o can_v magnify_v my_o god_n for_o this_o his_o love_n and_o goodness_n again_o i_o have_v be_v sometime_o so_o carnal_a that_o i_o have_v even_o think_v that_o there_o can_v be_v no_o feaven_n more_o sweet_a pleasant_a and_o desirable_a than_o that_o which_o may_v be_v make_v up_o of_o create_a being_n as_o to_o enjoy_v pleasure_n and_o never_o to_o be_v tire_v with_o they_o to_o please_v my_o taste_n in_o feed_v and_o never_o be_v weary_a of_o feed_v to_o hear_v the_o most_o sweet_a and_o melodious_a music_n and_o never_o weary_a 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be_v ground_v on_o this_o think_v the_o soul_n what_o shall_v i_o mourn_v for_o that_o which_o be_v not_o answ_n fear_v and_o sorrow_n for_o sin_n may_v well_o be_v consistent_a with_o close_v with_o a_o promise_n by_o faith_n for_o the_o take_v away_o of_o guilt_n observe_v therefore_o that_o the_o freeness_n of_o grace_n and_o the_o fullness_n of_o a_o promise_n ought_v no_o way_n to_o take_v off_o a_o saint_n watchfulness_n over_o sin_n and_o the_o mourning_n for_o sin_n further_o consider_v although_o god_n pardon_v the_o sin_n yet_o he_o cease_v not_o to_o hate_v sin_n therefore_o mourn_v for_o sin_n because_o it_o offend_v he_o again_o it_o be_v difficult_a for_o a_o man_n to_o think_v that_o he_o have_v act_v faith_n upon_o god_n for_o pardon_n of_o a_o sin_n when_o he_o have_v not_o in_o prayer_n against_o that_o sin_n feel_v himself_o raise_v or_o his_o heart_n melt_v as_o for_o example_n after_o thou_o have_v sin_v whether_o in_o let_v thy_o heart_n rove_v upon_o worldly_a business_n when_o thou_o have_v be_v in_o duty_n at_o church_n etc._n etc._n and_o apprehend_v it_o to_o arise_v from_o a_o carnal_a soul_n come_v home_n thou_o go_v to_o god_n by_o prayer_n to_o beg_v a_o pardon_n of_o that_o sin_n and_o for_o spiritual_a strength_n to_o subdue_v it_o and_o observe_v in_o that_o prayer_n that_o thy_o heart_n be_v not_o raise_v either_o in_o love_n to_o god_n or_o breathe_n after_o the_o discovery_n of_o love_n or_o else_o that_o thy_o heart_n be_v not_o melt_v for_o that_o sin_n in_o such_o a_o case_n it_o be_v hard_o for_o thou_o to_o conclude_v with_o thyself_o that_o thou_o have_v act_v faith_n upon_o jesus_n christ_n for_o the_o pardon_n of_o that_o sin_n for_o answer_v i_o confess_v it_o be_v a_o difficult_a case_n but_o yet_o the_o soul_n may_v be_v exceed_o deceive_v in_o it_o therefore_o it_o be_v good_a for_o such_o a_o soul_n to_o mark_v this_o that_o notwithstanding_o his_o present_a indisposition_n or_o blindness_n as_o to_o the_o discovery_n of_o pardon_n yet_o in_o a_o secret_a manner_n he_o may_v have_v pardon_n give_v in_o and_o hereby_o you_o shall_v know_v it_o that_o if_o god_n do_v afterward_o a_o week_n or_o a_o month_n or_o more_o deaden_a and_o crucify_v that_o corruption_n for_o thou_o thou_o may_v conclude_v thou_o do_v act_v faith_n in_o that_o application_n of_o thy_o soul_n to_o god_n the_o reason_n be_v clear_a because_o act_n of_o faith_n do_v always_o accompany_v true_a faith_n the_o instance_n of_o this_o be_v plain_a in_o hannah_n she_o go_v to_o god_n to_o beg_v a_o son_n 1_o sam._n 1.7_o 10._o and_o when_o she_o have_v do_v she_o know_v not_o whether_o or_o no_o god_n will_v answer_v as_o appear_v from_o vers_fw-la 11_o 12._o but_o in_o the_o latter_a end_n of_o ver_fw-la 9_o we_o read_v that_o the_o lord_n remember_v hannah_n and_o another_o example_n of_o this_o we_o have_v in_o cornelius_n act._n 10.2_o it_o be_v say_v he_o be_v a_o devout_a man_n and_o one_o that_o fear_v god_n and_o pray_v to_o god_n always_o and_o yet_o we_o read_v not_o that_o cornelius_n know_v that_o his_o prayer_n be_v accept_v until_o the_o angel_n come_v and_o say_v to_o he_o vers_n 4._o thy_o prayer_n and_o thy_o alm_n be_v come_v up_o for_o a_o memorial_n before_o god_n hence_o the_o inference_n be_v clear_a that_o god_n may_v hear_v a_o soul_n and_o see_v he_o act_v faith_n for_o a_o mercy_n when_o as_o perhaps_o the_o soul_n that_o pray_v can_v never_o judge_n of_o it_o himself_o but_o it_o may_v be_v object_v it_o be_v true_a god_n may_v hear_v a_o soul_n and_o the_o soul_n not_o discover_v it_o but_o as_o for_o act_v of_o
of_o his_o father_n but_o march_v 25._o 1672_o he_o follow_v his_o mother_n upon_o the_o loss_n of_o he_o than_o his_o only_a child_n who_o he_o great_o affect_v his_o mournful_a but_o religious_a father_n set_v a_o fair_a copy_n to_o other_o of_o much_o christian_a patience_n and_o submission_n to_o they_o will_v of_o god_n he_o have_v stay_v three_o year_n a_o widower_n from_o the_o death_n of_o his_o second_o and_o then_o decemb_v 14._o 1670_o take_v to_o his_o three_o wife_n with_o the_o good_a like_n of_o her_o parent_n anna_n sole_a daughter_n to_o colonel_n henry_n markham_n one_o of_o a_o ancient_a family_n and_o a_o gentleman_n of_o his_o majesty_n privy_a chamber_n by_o who_o he_o have_v first_o anna_n than_o hester_n afterward_o thomas_n and_o last_o nathaniel_n all_o these_o four_o he_o leave_v alive_a but_o this_o last_o son_n when_o he_o be_v about_o a_o year_n and_o a_o half_a old_a depart_v this_o life_n to_o go_v and_o rest_n with_o his_o father_n go_v about_o a_o twelvemonth_n before_o liv._o it_o seem_v this_o famous_a servant_n of_o christ_n be_v in_o decemb._n 1672_o well_o nigh_o four_o year_n before_o his_o death_n by_o some_o illness_n at_o theobalds_n admonish_v of_o his_o frailty_n and_o be_v come_v to_o london_n as_o to_o preach_v his_o usual_a course_n so_o also_o to_o advise_v with_o a_o physician_n for_o his_o health_n upon_o those_o symptom_n be_v then_o upon_o he_o during_o which_o time_n in_o his_o house_n at_o pickle-herring_n he_o be_v sudden_o surprise_v with_o a_o kind_n of_o faint_a fit_n that_o occasion_v some_o failure_n of_o spirit_n and_o sweating_n which_o do_v a_o little_a startle_v he_o hereupon_o by_o and_o by_o he_o call_v for_o a_o candle_n go_v up_o stair_n and_o retire_a himself_o into_o a_o private_a room_n not_o permit_v either_o his_o wife_n or_o sister_n then_o to_o accompany_v he_o but_o address_v himself_o to_o god_n alone_o as_o one_o summon_v by_o he_o it_o may_v be_v short_o to_o appear_v before_o he_o then_o after_o a_o while_n return_v to_o his_o dear_a wife_n etc._n etc._n upon_o his_o come_n down_o they_o observe_v a_o admirable_a raisedness_n of_o spirit_n in_o he_o who_o then_o great_o bless_v god_n for_o a_o cold_a sweat_n and_o a_o tremble_a pulse_n which_o have_v occasion_v he_o to_o look_v more_o narrow_o within_o where_o find_v all_o well_o to_o his_o great_a comfort_n he_o behave_v himself_o as_o one_o that_o be_v not_o afraid_a then_o of_o a_o arrest_n to_o judgement_n we_o find_v he_o indeed_o in_o his_o memorial_n upon_o a_o former_a sickness_n from_o march_n 6_o till_o the_o 16_o record_v i_o be_v cast_v into_o a_o fit_a of_o sickness_n god_n bring_v i_o into_o a_o wilderness_n but_o speak_v kind_o to_o i_o he_o afflict_v i_o but_o for_o a_o moment_n about_o a_o week_n after_o he_o add_v i_o be_v exceed_v well_o much_o melt_v have_v a_o eye_n open_v to_o see_v god_n in_o prayer_n by_o faith_n as_o if_o i_o speak_v to_o any_o of_o my_o familiar_n this_o humble_a confidence_n of_o go_v to_o god_n as_o his_o father_n be_v raise_v as_o he_o elsewhere_o where_o note_n from_o discovery_n of_o mortification_n and_o purity_n in_o heart_n and_o beside_o this_o he_o lay_v it_o down_o afterward_o that_o nothing_o speak_v adoption_n full_a than_o the_o discovery_n of_o god_n love_v either_o to_o the_o answer_v thy_o prayer_n with_o reference_n to_o mortification_n and_o strength_n in_o grace_n or_o comfort_n joh._n 15.15_o and_o add_v the_o ready_a way_n to_o come_v to_o spiritual_a disvery_n of_o the_o mystery_n of_o the_o gospel-promise_n be_v to_o do_v the_o command_n of_o god_n joh._n 7.17_o he_o be_v a_o sincere_a doer_n of_o god_n will_n and_o such_o god_n hear_v lv._o when_o in_o perfect_a health_n he_o will_v be_v thoughtful_a of_o change_n and_o therefore_o will_v often_o pray_v that_o god_n will_v prepare_v he_o and_o he_o for_o sickness_n death_n and_o part_v about_o half_a a_o year_n before_o his_o last_o sickness_n when_o he_o have_v exceed_o sharp_a pain_n he_o say_v he_o will_v not_o have_v be_v without_o it_o to_o have_v be_v without_o those_o joy_n he_o feel_v by_o it_o be_v resolve_v to_o leave_v his_o more_o expensive_a habitation_n at_o theobalds_n to_o live_v in_o southwark_n near_o to_o his_o old_a charge_n it_o seem_v the_o family_n and_o friend_n talk_v somewhat_o cheerful_o of_o their_o removal_n his_o elder_a daughter_n anna_n then_o a_o child_n betwixt_o four_o and_o five_o year_n old_a say_v unexpected_o what_o if_o my_o father_n shall_v go_v to_o london_n and_o die_v he_o be_v so_o apprehensive_a of_o a_o die_a hour_n that_o he_o say_v after_o his_o girl_n who_o he_o have_v a_o great_a love_n for_o be_v a_o true_a prophetess_n it_o be_v about_o three_o week_n and_o odd_a day_n before_o he_o die_v that_o he_o come_v to_o his_o house_n at_o pickle_n herring_n stair_n have_v preach_v the_o first_o of_o those_o two_o last_o sermon_n publish_v on_o the_o eight_o of_o october_n and_o the_o last_o on_o 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a_o lamb_n do_v there_o they_o see_v thou_o in_o their_o ravenous_a jaw_n about_o to_o tear_v thy_o heart_n to_o suck_v out_o all_o thy_o blood_n and_o leave_v thou_o dead_a have_v i_o not_o sit_v and_o read_v and_o read_v and_o weep_v in_o view_v over_o the_o story_n and_o can_v they_o forbear_v that_o with_o their_o watery_a eye_n see_v this_o scene_n then_o act_v but_o whither_o o_o whither_o o_o you_o blind_a jew_n be_v you_o drag_v this_o my_o lord_n my_o spirit_n begin_v to_o faint_v i_o now_o can_v look_v no_o long_o my_o heart_n now_o begin_v to_o swell_v with_o grief_n it_o must_v now_o break_v or_o i_o must_v vent_v it_o at_o my_o eye_n in_o stream_n look_v see_v the_o hammer_n and_o nail_n the_o hammer_n lift_v up_o to_o strike_v bloody_a man_n thou_o dare_v not_o sure_a sure_o thou_o do_v not_o know_v who_o hand_n and_o foot_n thou_o be_v now_o pierce_v it_o be_v the_o prince_n and_o saviour_n of_o the_o world_n foolish_a heart_n see_v how_o thou_o be_v mistake_v look_v 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pilgrim_n find_v i_o in_o my_o travel_n alas_o my_o weary_a mind_n be_v tire_v with_o this_o world_n this_o muddy_a smoke_n from_o earth_n do_v even_o my_o languid_a spirit_n choke_v let_v i_o but_o take_v a_o little_a air_n that_o i_o may_v be_v refresh_v than_o home_n again_o i_o will_v hie_v i_o do_v conceive_v a_o vast_a extend_a sphere_n farther_o above_o the_o star_n than_o we_o be_v here_o replete_a with_o matter_n some_o thick_a some_o thin_a and_o light_a in_o which_o be_v body_n some_o opake_v and_o bright_a tumble_a about_n so_o do_v our_o earth_n where_o we_o as_o on_o a_o float_n swim_v round_o the_o world_n we_o see_v in_o the_o centre_n of_o which_o orb_n as_o in_o a_o throne_n sit_v the_o adore_a triad_n all_o alone_a shoot_v their_o omnipresent_v beam_v about_o fill_v the_o sphere_n within_o and_o space_n without_o without_o i_o dare_v not_o say_v they_o idle_a be_v for_o god_n be_v please_v not_o only_o here_o but_o there_o yet_o we_o be_v sure_a throughout_o this_o 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they_o sport_n about_o the_o belly_n of_o the_o deep_a and_o yet_o their_o side_n no_o briny-tear_n do_v weep_v just_o as_o i_o have_v see_v the_o sun_n pass_v through_o her_o beam_n and_o pierce_v the_o bosom_n of_o clear_a crystal_n stream_n yet_o have_v they_o live_v unquenched_a nor_o have_v they_o be_v moisten_v with_o the_o cold_a dampy_a part_n within_o cast_v they_o in_o pit_n ram_v they_o up_o fast_o with_o earth_n from_o these_o dark_a womb_n they_o will_v find_v a_o pass_n for_o birth_n clap_v they_o in_o dungeon_n lock_v they_o up_o in_o chest_n stop_v up_o
sentence_n thou_o can_v not_o send_v i_o into_o worse_a than_o flame_n or_o punish_v i_o long_o than_o everlasting_o christ_n answer_v oh_o how_o my_o bowel_n turn_v this_o sinner_n know_v not_o what_o be_v in_o my_o heart_n he_o think_v i_o be_o his_o enemy_n sinner_n shake_v off_o thy_o fear_n and_o wipe_v thy_o eye_n thou_o shall_v not_o die_v the_o sinner_n speak_v again_o oh_o thou_o glorious_a god_n or_o angel_n or_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o call_v thou_o do_v not_o delude_v or_o deride_v a_o poor_a caitiff_a wretch_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o misery_n why_o will_v thou_o raise_v i_o to_o such_o a_o pinnacle_n of_o hope_n to_o cast_v i_o down_o and_o make_v my_o fall_n the_o great_a my_o judge_n have_v pass_v the_o sentence_n i_o must_v die_v and_o who_o can_v reverse_v the_o doom_n ah_o i_o must_v go_v see_v my_o prison-door_n wide_o open_a the_o smoke_n and_o flash_n come_v to_o meet_v my_o despair_a soul_n half_a way_n christ_n speak_v and_o now_o my_o heart_n begin_v to_o 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be_v satisfy_v but_o do_v not_o thou_o fear_v if_o one_o of_o we_o must_v die_v it_o shall_v be_v i_o i_o will_v pour_v out_o my_o blood_n a_o sacrifice_n for_o sin_n and_o appease_v his_o wrath_n and_o make_v you_o friend_n again_o you_o innumerable_a company_n of_o angel_n yet_o servant_n at_o my_o father_n will_n why_o do_v you_o rejoice_v to_o see_v my_o prisoner_n send_v to_o hell_n this_o curse_a soul_n over_o who_o in_o glory_n you_o do_v now_o triumph_v i_o do_v resolve_v to_o die_v for_o and_o to_o buy_v she_o to_o myself_o a_o spouse_n and_o to_o make_v her_o bless_a with_o yourselves_o and_o give_v she_o a_o princess_n place_n on_o a_o throne_n that_o be_v by_o myself_o sinner_n speak_v be_v this_o a_o dream_n or_o be_o i_o wake_v the_o goodness_n greatness_n glory_n of_o this_o sudden_a unexpected_a bless_a change_n tempt_v i_o to_o doubt_v whether_o it_o be_v true_a or_o whether_o it_o be_v some_o unruly_a fancy_n that_o do_v delude_v this_o wretched_a heart_n of_o i_o what!_o for_o the_o son_n of_o god_n to_o debase_v himself_o so_o low_o as_o to_o take_v my_o nature_n and_o so_o my_o cause_n and_o become_v the_o prisoner_n what!_o and_o though_o he_o know_v he_o shall_v be_v cast_v will_v he_o hear_v the_o sentence_n and_o quiet_o bear_v bolt_n and_o shackle_n and_o chain_n which_o shall_v have_v fetter_v i_o yet_o more_o than_o this_o do_v he_o know_v it_o be_v impossible_a to_o get_v a_o reprieve_n from_o his_o father_n and_o judge_n and_o that_o he_o must_v most_o assure_o drink_v the_o bitter_a dregs_o of_o death_n more_o bitter_a than_o devil_n or_o damn_a soul_n in_o hell_n as_o yet_o ever_o taste_v of_o for_o it_o be_v impossible_a the_o cup_n shall_v pass_v and_o can_v he_o will_v he_o dare_v he_o venture_v but_o stay_v i_o must_v be_v a_o spouse_n to_o be_v exalt_v from_o this_o dunghill_n to_o be_v a_o princess_n to_o the_o son_n and_o heir_n of_o glory_n hold_v hold_v here_o be_v enough_o it_o be_v a_o dream_n a_o idle_a fancy_n of_o a_o 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earnest_o beg_v of_o god_n on_o thy_o knee_n as_o if_o thou_o be_v plead_v for_o thy_o life_n that_o god_n will_v humble_v thou_o and_o give_v thou_o more_o love_n to_o himself_o and_o to_o the_o rest_n of_o thy_o brethren_n and_o take_v heed_n likewise_o of_o anger_v they_o o_o that_o thou_o will_v but_o practice_v this_o true_o true_o i_o shall_v rejoice_v angel_n in_o heaven_n will_v rejoice_v as_o it_o be_v write_v the_o angel_n rejoise_n at_o the_o conversion_n of_o a_o sinner_n second_o look_v that_o thou_o read_v the_o scripture_n diligent_o every_o day_n and_o let_v this_o be_v thy_o first_o work_n in_o the_o morning_n and_o the_o last_o at_o night_n and_o if_o thou_o can_v not_o understand_v go_v to_o god_n and_o beg_v that_o he_o will_v give_v thou_o more_o light_a and_o if_o thou_o do_v this_o likewise_o happy_a shall_v thou_o be_v and_o see_v it_o be_v late_o before_o you_o go_v to_o supper_n and_o bed_n therefore_o thou_o may_v set_v apart_o some_o time_n for_o this_o 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present_a but_o that_o i_o be_o your_o ever_o love_v brother_n tho._n wadsworth_n love_v sister_n as_o the_o letter_n be_v with_o great_a affection_n desire_v so_o be_v it_o as_o grateful_o receive_v by_o i_o neither_o be_v it_o so_o much_o because_o that_o you_o do_v write_v but_o because_o you_o write_v so_o well_o and_o hearty_o and_o i_o shall_v here_o assure_v you_o that_o you_o can_v rejoice_v i_o more_o than_o in_o let_v i_o see_v such_o sentence_n drop_v from_o your_o pen_n as_o do_v in_o the_o last_o letter_n and_o i_o be_o likewise_o as_o certain_a that_o your_o discovery_n of_o they_o proceed_v from_o your_o heart_n carry_v in_o it_o a_o far_o more_o exceed_a weight_n of_o joy_n to_o your_o own_o soul_n i_o shall_v have_v but_o one_o or_o two_o thing_n to_o you_o at_o this_o time_n and_o i_o shall_v conclude_v first_o be_v constant_a in_o prayer_n morning_n and_o evening_n and_o labour_v not_o only_o to_o speak_v word_n but_o let_v your_o word_n express_v your_o heart_n 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