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his_o glory_n and_o do_v my_o duty_n in_o the_o place_n in_o which_o he_o have_v set_v i_o for_o i_o be_o apt_a to_o be_v trouble_v lest_o i_o shall_v fail_v of_o my_o duty_n towards_o those_o commit_v to_o my_o charge_n the_o lord_n in_o mercy_n grant_v i_o may_v set_v to_o his_o work_n with_o all_o my_o may_v and_o get_v my_o work_n do_v before_o my_o day_n of_o life_n be_v end_v and_o that_o my_o heart_n may_v be_v thorough_o take_v off_o from_o this_o world_n and_o i_o may_v prepare_v for_o public_a calamity_n which_o be_v much_o fear_v by_o reason_n of_o the_o
abound_a of_o all_o sin_n and_o wickedness_n more_o and_o more_o the_o lord_n enable_v i_o to_o do_v and_o suffer_v his_o will_n and_o let_v i_o have_v his_o presence_n and_o his_o promise_n make_v good_a not_o to_o suffer_v i_o to_o be_v tempt_v above_o what_o he_o will_v enable_v i_o to_o bear_v 1_o cor._n 10._o 13._o and_o that_o i_o may_v ready_o let_v all_o go_v for_o christ_n if_o i_o be_o call_v to_o it_o the_o lord_n grant_v i_o may_v be_v make_v meet_a to_o be_v partaker_n of_o the_o inheritance_n of_o the_o saint_n in_o light_n and_o get_v my_o evidence_n for_o heaven_n ready_a which_o through_o the_o assistance_n and_o help_n of_o god_n i_o desire_v to_o go_v about_o the_o lord_n grant_v i_o may_v not_o be_v deceive_v but_o may_v gather_v such_o evidence_n as_o will_v hold_v out_o and_o bear_v i_o up_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o trouble_n and_o trial_n yea_o in_o the_o hour_n of_o death_n and_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n the_o lord_n in_o infinite_a mercy_n sanctify_v to_o i_o the_o death_n of_o other_o god_n have_v of_o late_o take_v away_o many_o of_o my_o neighbour_n acquaintance_n friend_n and_o relation_n minister_n as_o well_o as_o other_o a_o little_a while_n since_o mr._n pledger_n and_o mr._n wells_n in_o one_o day_n o_o that_o all_o may_v be_v sanctify_v and_o especial_o the_o death_n of_o my_o wife_n that_o i_o may_v yet_o make_v such_o use_n of_o that_o providence_n as_o the_o lord_n will_v expect_v and_o be_v ready_a and_o prepare_v for_o my_o own_o departure_n hence_o whensoever_o it_o shall_v please_v my_o dear_a god_n and_o father_n to_o call_v i_o home_o be_v now_o about_o to_o enter_v here_o what_o i_o have_v to_o show_v for_o a_o work_n of_o grace_n in_o my_o heart_n and_o a_o right_n and_o title_n to_o heaven_n i_o desire_v of_o the_o lord_n to_o help_v i_o in_o this_o great_a affair_n that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v deceive_v but_o that_o what_o i_o here_o enter_v may_v be_v the_o true_a state_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o that_o which_o will_v hold_v out_o and_o yield_v i_o comfort_n in_o a_o hour_n of_o distress_n it_o have_v be_v in_o my_o thought_n several_a time_n to_o inquire_v what_o i_o have_v to_o show_v for_o my_o hope_n of_o heaven_n that_o which_o run_v most_o in_o my_o mind_n be_v faith_n and_o repentance_n which_o upon_o diligent_a search_n of_o my_o heart_n i_o hope_v i_o have_v first_o for_o faith_n if_o i_o have_v true_a faith_n i_o shall_v certain_o be_v save_v so_o say_v the_o holy_a scripture_n he_o that_o believe_v shall_v be_v save_v joh._n 3._o 16._o for_o god_n so_o love_v the_o world_n that_o he_o give_v his_o only_a beget_v son_n that_o whosoeever_n believe_v in_o he_o shall_v not_o perish_v but_o have_v everlasting_a life_n now_o faith_n in_o christ_n be_v describe_v in_o the_o assembly_n catechism_n to_o be_v a_o save_a grace_n whereby_o we_o receive_v and_o rest_n upon_o christ_n alone_o for_o salvation_n as_o he_o be_v offer_v to_o we_o in_o the_o gospel_n which_o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o do_v i_o hope_v i_o do_v most_o hearty_o desire_v to_o take_v christ_n on_o his_o own_o term_n as_o king_n priest_n and_o prophet_n in_o all_o his_o office_n and_o be_o willing_a to_o be_v rule_v by_o he_o as_o well_o as_o save_v by_o he_o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o rest_v upon_o jesus_n christ_n alone_o for_o salvation_n and_o own_o no_o other_o saviour_n but_o he_o i_o hope_v i_o have_v the_o faith_n of_o reliance_n to_o rest_v and_o centre_n in_o christ_n i_o hope_v i_o can_v with_o all_o my_o soul_n throw_v myself_o upon_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n and_o if_o i_o perish_v to_o perish_v there_o trust_v in_o he_o that_o i_o shall_v not_o perish_v bless_a be_v god_n i_o be_o often_o lift_v up_o my_o heart_n to_o christ_n o_o my_o dear_a jesus_n bless_a jesus_n on_o thou_o on_o thou_o alone_o i_o rest_v when_o i_o be_o in_o fear_n and_o doubt_n and_o trouble_n i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o say_v with_o the_o church_n in_o the_o lord_n have_v i_o righteousness_n and_o strength_n righteousness_n for_o justification_n and_o strength_n for_o sanctification_n and_o the_o subdue_a of_o sin_n i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o renounce_v any_o trust_n in_o my_o own_o righteousness_n and_o duty_n and_o whole_o to_o rely_v and_o rest_v upon_o jesus_n christ_n when_o i_o have_v perform_v any_o duty_n i_o desire_v to_o own_o that_o i_o deserve_v hell_n for_o the_o sinful_a imperfection_n of_o it_o yea_o for_o the_o best_a duty_n i_o can_v perform_v and_o to_o have_v my_o trust_n only_o in_o the_o death_n and_o merit_n satisfaction_n and_o intercession_n of_o christ_n though_o spiritual_a pride_n be_v very_o apt_a to_o rise_v in_o i_o yet_o i_o hope_v i_o do_v not_o allow_v it_o the_o lord_n set_v my_o heart_n more_o against_o it_o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v with_o the_o apostle_n phil._n 3._o 9_o to_o be_v find_v in_o he_o not_o have_v my_o own_o righteousness_n which_o be_v of_o the_o law_n but_o that_o which_o be_v through_o the_o faith_n of_o christ_n the_o righteousness_n which_o be_v of_o god_n by_o faith_n i_o hope_v christ_n be_v precious_a to_o i_o now_o that_o be_v a_o evidence_n of_o faith_n 1_o pet._n 2._o 7._o to_o you_o that_o believe_v he_o be_v precious_a i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o prize_n christ_n above_o all_o the_o world_n and_o if_o i_o know_v my_o heart_n i_o will_v not_o part_v with_o the_o hope_n i_o have_v by_o christ_n of_o heaven_n for_o ten_o thousand_o world_n i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o prize_n jesus_n christ_n as_o the_o chief_a of_o ten_o thousand_o altogether_o lovely_a the_o lord_n make_v i_o upright_o in_o this_o matter_n that_o i_o may_v see_v the_o worth_n and_o excellency_n that_o be_v in_o he_o so_o as_o to_o be_v in_o love_n with_o he_o second_o for_o repentance_n if_o i_o have_v that_o grace_n i_o be_o sure_a to_o be_v save_v act_v 3._o 19_o repent_v you_o therefore_o and_o be_v convert_v that_o your_o sin_n may_v be_v blot_v out_o when_o the_o time_n of_o refresh_a shall_v come_v from_o the_o presence_n of_o the_o lord_n luke_n 13._o 3._o except_o you_o repent_v you_o shall_v all_o likewise_o perish_v therefore_o if_o we_o do_v repent_v we_o shall_v not_o perish_v now_o repentance_n be_v describe_v to_o be_v a_o save_a grace_n whereby_o a_o sinner_n out_o of_o the_o true_a sense_n of_o his_o sin_n and_o apprehension_n of_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n do_v with_o grief_n and_o hatred_n of_o his_o sin_n turn_v from_o it_o unto_o god_n with_o full_a purpose_n of_o and_o endeavour_n after_o new_a obedience_n i_o hope_v the_o lord_n have_v wrought_v this_o repentance_n in_o i_o i_o hope_v he_o have_v give_v i_o a_o true_a sight_n and_o sense_n of_o sin_n and_o that_o i_o be_o convince_v of_o the_o evil_a and_o danger_n of_o it_o i_o hope_v i_o have_v a_o apprehension_n also_o of_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n i_o do_v not_o at_o all_o doubt_n but_o there_o be_v mercy_n enough_o in_o god_n through_o christ_n to_o forgive_v and_o pardon_v the_o great_a sin_n if_o they_o be_v repent_v of_o the_o lord_n have_v declare_v himself_o to_o be_v the_o lord_n god_n gracious_a and_o merciful_a pardon_v iniquity_n transgression_n and_o sin_n exod_n 34._o 6._o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o be_v true_o sorry_a for_o all_o my_o sin_n to_o grieve_v and_o mourn_v for_o they_o though_o my_o heart_n be_v hard_a yet_o i_o hope_v i_o can_v be_v glad_a if_o it_o be_v break_v that_o i_o can_v mourn_v more_o for_o my_o sin_n sure_o it_o have_v be_v a_o trouble_n to_o i_o many_o time_n in_o confession_n of_o sin_n that_o i_o can_v not_o mourn_v and_o weep_v and_o be_v not_o affect_v as_o i_o desire_v i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o hate_v sin_n also_o the_o lord_n work_v a_o true_a hatred_n of_o all_o sin_n more_o and_o more_o in_o i_o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o turn_v from_o all_o sin_n unto_o god_n with_o full_a purpose_n of_o heart_n to_o cleave_v to_o he_o i_o hope_v the_o bend_v of_o my_o soul_n be_v right_a for_o god_n though_o i_o have_v many_o fail_n and_o miscarriage_n i_o hope_v the_o full_a purpose_n and_o resolution_n of_o my_o heart_n be_v for_o god_n and_o his_o way_n it_o be_v upon_o my_o mind_n what_o i_o have_v further_a to_o note_v that_o may_v be_v a_o evidence_n of_o grace_n i_o hope_v these_o thing_n follow_v which_o it_o please_v god_n to_o bring_v to_o my_o thought_n may_v be_v some_o ground_n to_o believe_v god_n have_v wrought_v saving_o upon_o i_o sure_o i_o do_v confess_v my_o sin_n often_o to_o the_o lord_n in_o secret_a and_o desire_v to_o have_v my_o heart_n penitent_o affect_v with_o they_o and_o
or_o falsehood_n therein_o thou_o will_v discover_v it_o to_o i_o and_o help_v i_o to_o do_v it_o aright_o and_o now_o glory_n be_v to_o thou_o o_o god_n the_o father_n who_o i_o shall_v be_v bold_a from_o this_o day_n forward_o to_o look_v upon_o as_o my_o god_n and_o father_n that_o ever_o thou_o shall_v find_v out_o such_o a_o way_n for_o the_o recovery_n of_o undo_v sinner_n glory_n be_v to_o thou_o o_o god_n the_o son_n who_o have_v love_v i_o and_o wash_v i_o from_o my_o sin_n in_o thy_o own_o blood_n and_o be_v now_o become_v my_o saviour_n and_o redeemer_n glory_n be_v to_o thou_o o_o god_n the_o holy_a ghost_n who_o by_o the_o finger_n of_o thy_o almighty_a power_n have_v turn_v about_o my_o heart_n from_o sin_n to_o god_n o_o dreadful_a jehovah_n the_o lord_n god_n omnipotent_a father_n son_n and_o holy_a ghost_n thou_o be_v now_o become_v my_o covenant-friend_n and_o i_o through_o thy_o infinite_a grace_n be_o become_v thy_o covenant-servant_n amen_o so_o be_v it_o and_o the_o covenant_n which_o i_o have_v make_v on_o earth_n let_v it_o be_v ratify_v in_o heaven_n april_n 11._o 1667._o henry_n gearing_n a_o pathetical_a meditation_n on_o the_o passion_n of_o christ_n take_v out_o of_o mr._n wadsworth_n remain_n 8vo_fw-la abridge_v and_o transcribe_v for_o his_o own_o use_n upon_o sacramental_a occasion_n a_o way_n all_o trifle_a worldly_a business_n i_o must_v go_v see_v my_o bleed_a lord_n come_v now_o my_o soul_n look_v yonder_o thou_o will_v soon_o arrive_v at_o bloody_a golgotha_n where_o thou_o shall_v see_v thy_o bleed_a die_a saviour_n to_o sigh_v and_o linger_v out_o a_o die_a life_n on_o the_o cross_n in_o love_n for_o thou_o this_o this_o might_n o_o my_o soul_n have_v be_v thy_o day_n in_o which_o thou_o may_v have_v drink_v the_o bitter_a cup_n of_o the_o fierce_a anger_n of_o god_n but_o look_v yonder_o there_o he_o go_v that_o must_v drink_v up_o the_o dregs_o and_o all_o for_o thou_o but_o come_v my_o soul_n draw_v up_o a_o little_a near_o stand_v here_o and_o thou_o will_v see_v he_o pass_o look_v there_o he_o go_v with_o a_o train_n of_o virgin_n follow_v but_o see_v how_o cruel_o these_o barbarous_a jew_n do_v use_v he_o they_o make_v he_o bear_v his_o cross_n himself_o see_v how_o they_o laugh_v and_o scoff_n and_o wag_v their_o head_n as_o if_o he_o be_v their_o may-game_n look_v see_v my_o soul_n come_v tell_v i_o what_o thou_o see_v o_o i_o can_v sorrow_n tie_v my_o tongue_n i_o can_v speak_v i_o see_v a_o troop_n of_o virgin_n follow_v he_o their_o weep_a eye_n their_o blubber_a lip_n their_o sigh_n and_o throbbing_n speak_v they_o mourner_n i_o see_v my_o lord_n look_v towards_o they_o and_o kind_o 〈◊〉_d their_o love_a sorrow_n weep_v not_o for_o i_o ah_o can_v they_o do_v less_o than_o weep_v to_o see_v thy_o innocent_a self_n among_o a_o herd_n of_o tiger_n but_o whither_o o_o whither_o o_o you_o blind_a jew_n be_v you_o drag_v this_o my_o lord_n my_o spirit_n begin_v to_o faint_v i_o now_o can_v look_v no_o long_o my_o heart_n now_o begin_v to_o swell_v with_o grief_n it_o must_v now_o break_v or_o i_o must_v vent_v it_o at_o my_o eye_n in_o stream_n look_v see_v the_o hammer_n and_o nail_n the_o hammer_n lift_v up_o to_o strike_v bloody_a man_n thou_o dare_v not_o strike_v sure_a sure_o thou_o do_v not_o know_v who_o hand_n and_o foot_n thou_o be_v now_o pierce_a it_o be_v the_o prince_n and_o saviour_n of_o the_o world_n but_o look_v see_v it_o be_v do_v the_o nail_n be_v drive_v to_o the_o head_n see_v how_o the_o blood_n run_v trickle_v down_o his_o hand_n and_o foot_n and_o see_v how_o harden_a heart_n be_v laugh_v at_o it_o o_o silly_a foolish_a blind_a man_n what_o laugh_v yet_o see_v this_o very_a christ_n you_o now_o mock_v shall_v be_v your_o judge_n but_o come_v again_o look_v and_o see_v my_o soul_n what_o be_v become_v of_o thy_o nail_v and_o crucify_a lord_n ah_o i_o he_o be_v not_o quite_o dead_a look_v how_o he_o gasp_n and_o pant_n for_o life_n o_o how_o pale_a and_o 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he_o must_v be_v thus_o deal_v with_o or_o else_o my_o sin_n can_v not_o be_v pardon_v he_o must_v drink_v up_o this_o bitter_a cup_n with_o all_o its_o dregs_o or_o else_o i_o must_v have_v drink_v it_o up_o myself_o it_o be_v i_o that_o sin_v and_o must_v have_v suffer_v this_o curse_a proud_a and_o earthly_a heart_n of_o i_o rebel_v and_o break_v the_o law_n and_o shall_v have_v suffer_v and_o bear_v the_o punishment_n have_v not_o he_o step_v in_o and_o bear_v the_o stroke_n off_o from_o i_o i_o have_v be_v now_o burn_v in_o everlasting_a flame_n and_o be_v linger_a out_o this_o time_n in_o torment_n which_o i_o be_o now_o spend_v in_o the_o sweet_a thought_n of_o my_o escape_n have_v not_o the_o prophet_n say_v all_o this_o in_o isa_n 53._o these_o wound_n stripe_n bruise_n he_o bear_v for_o thou_o o_o amaze_a love_n and_o grace_n the_o son_n of_o god_n love_v i_o better_o than_o his_o life_n be_v ever_o love_n like_v to_o his_o love_n he_o be_v a_o stranger_n to_o i_o why_o do_v he_o not_o let_v i_o die_v but_o he_o love_v i_o i_o be_v a_o pollute_a sinner_n methinks_v he_o shall_v have_v loathe_v i_o but_o he_o do_v wash_v i_o and_o make_v i_o clean_o again_o but_o why_o do_v he_o love_v a_o enemy_n or_o how_o can_v he_o do_v it_o i_o know_v not_o why_o o_o inexpressible_a love_n o_o love_n past_o thought_n he_o love_v because_o he_o will_v love_v what_o ail_v my_o heart_n i_o can_v find_v it_o stir_v what!_o dead_a under_o the_o revive_a thought_n of_o thy_o dear_a redeemer_n arise_v shake_v up_o thyself_o and_o look_v about_o thou_o thou_o do_v not_o sure_o see_v thy_o mercy_n come_v away_o o_o come_v away_o lift_v up_o thy_o drowsy_a head_n i_o will_v make_v thou_o look_v and_o love_n and_o ever_o i_o leave_v thou_o confess_v thou_o love_v he_o suppose_v now_o for_o thy_o sin_n the_o vengeance_n of_o god_n be_v just_a seize_v upon_o thou_o turn_v thou_o into_o hell_n and_o christ_n come_v and_o reveal_v himself_o to_o thou_o sinner_n i_o love_v thou_o i_o say_v thou_o shall_v not_o die_v come_v feel_v my_o heart_n how_o it_o beat_v towards_o thou_o do_v thou_o not_o see_v i_o have_v leave_v my_o throne_n and_o be_o come_v down_o to_o the_o bar_n where_o thou_o stand_v condemn_v but_o why_o do_v thou_o weep_v come_v let_v i_o wipe_v thy_o eye_n and_o bind_v up_o thy_o bleed_a and_o despair_a heart_n i_o tell_v thou_o thou_o shall_v not_o die_v if_o heaven_n will_v have_v blood_n it_o shall_v have_v i_o so_o it_o will_v but_o spare_v thou_o now_o the_o soul_n have_v not_o a_o word_n to_o speak_v against_o this_o love_n thy_o son_n o_o god_n have_v offer_v satisfaction_n and_o thou_o have_v accept_v it_o thou_o o_o my_o saviour_n have_v lay_v down_o thy_o life_n for_o i_o and_o thy_o father_n and_o my_o father_n be_v well_o please_v with_o it_o blood_n be_v pay_v justice_n be_v satisfy_v heaven_n door_n be_v widen_v thy_o arm_n open_v to_o receive_v i_o nothing_o be_v want_v but_o my_o heart_n make_v it_o such_o as_o thou_o will_v have_v it_o and_o then_o take_v it_o to_o thyself_o come_v my_o soul_n the_o father_n thou_o see_v be_v willing_a and_o the_o son_n be_v willing_a give_v but_o thy_o consent_n and_o he_o be_v thou_o for_o ever_o fear_v not_o thy_o hardness_n deadness_n blindness_n loathsomeness_n all_o these_o can_v hinder_v if_o thou_o be_v but_o willing_a what_o stick_v thou_o at_o what_o do_v ail_v half_n of_o this_o ado_n will_v fetch_v a_o heart_n for_o the_o world_n a_o little_a mire_n and_o dirt_n and_o be_v not_o
have_v certain_o be_v foil_v if_o god_n by_o his_o omnipotent_a grace_n have_v not_o support_v and_o deliver_v i_o when_o satan_n see_v i_o first_o set_v my_o face_n towards_o heaven_n he_o employ_v all_o his_o skill_n and_o diligence_n to_o hinder_v it_o former_o he_o have_v tell_v i_o i_o need_v not_o repent_v because_o i_o be_v not_o guilty_a of_o gross_a sin_n but_o now_o he_o see_v that_o i_o be_v sensible_a of_o my_o vileness_n and_o sinfulness_n by_o nature_n and_o life_n he_o see_v that_o sin_n be_v my_o burden_n and_o that_o i_o be_v convince_v that_o i_o must_v repent_v or_o perish_v he_o leave_v off_o this_o temptation_n and_o tell_v i_o it_o be_v too_o soon_o to_o repent_v yet_o that_o i_o be_v young_a and_o may_v live_v many_o year_n and_o take_v my_o pleasure_n that_o i_o may_v repent_v when_o i_o be_v old_a or_o upon_o a_o sick_a bed_n to_o that_o end_n he_o suggest_v to_o i_o that_o the_o life_n of_o a_o christian_a be_v a_o sad_a uncomfortable_a life_n that_o if_o i_o enter_v upon_o this_o course_n i_o must_v bid_v farewell_n to_o all_o mirth_n and_o pleasure_n and_o spend_v my_o day_n in_o sorrow_n but_o then_o i_o begin_v to_o think_v with_o myself_o that_o it_o be_v better_a to_o do_v so_o than_o lie_v down_o in_o hell-torment_n to_o all_o eternity_n when_o satan_n see_v that_o he_o can_v not_o prevail_v in_o this_o temptation_n he_o find_v out_o another_o he_o go_v about_o to_o persuade_v i_o that_o if_o i_o begin_v to_o walk_v in_o the_o way_n of_o god_n and_o do_v hold_v out_o a_o little_a way_n it_o be_v a_o thousand_o to_o one_o if_o i_o hold_v out_o to_o the_o end_n i_o shall_v certain_o fall_v away_o and_o turn_v apostate_n and_o this_o be_v the_o worst_a condition_n of_o all_o to_o return_v with_o the_o dog_n to_o the_o vomit_n etc._n etc._n he_o bring_v that_o scripture_n to_o my_o mind_n if_o after_o we_o have_v escape_v the_o pollution_n of_o the_o world_n we_o be_v again_o entangle_v therein_o the_o latter_a end_n be_v worse_a than_o the_o beginning_n for_o it_o have_v be_v better_a not_o to_o have_v know_v the_o way_n of_o righteousness_n than_o after_o we_o have_v know_v it_o to_o turn_v from_o it_o he_o follow_v i_o with_o this_o temptation_n but_o it_o please_v god_n by_o his_o spirit_n to_o enable_v i_o in_o some_o measure_n to_o resist_v it_o and_o repel_v it_o for_o i_o be_v persuade_v if_o god_n have_v begin_v a_o good_a work_n of_o grace_n in_o i_o he_o be_v able_a to_o carry_v it_o on_o and_o to_o keep_v i_o from_o fall_v away_o though_o at_o that_o time_n i_o be_v not_o acquaint_v with_o those_o scripture_n that_o prove_v the_o perseverance_n of_o the_o saint_n thus_o be_v i_o trouble_v and_o toss_v with_o various_a temptation_n and_o no_o soon_o rid_v of_o one_o but_o another_o come_v i_o hear_v a_o sermon_n upon_o matth._n 13._o 45._o the_o kingdom_n of_o heaven_n be_v like_o a_o merchantman_n seek_v goodly_a pearl_n who_o when_o he_o have_v find_v one_o of_o great_a price_n go_v and_o sell_v all_o that_o he_o have_v to_o buy_v it_o i_o receive_v much_o light_n and_o comfort_n from_o this_o sermon_n and_o see_v more_o of_o the_o transcendent_a excellency_n of_o jesus_n christ_n who_o be_v the_o pearl_n of_o price_n and_o i_o think_v i_o can_v most_o willing_o part_v with_o all_o even_o life_n itself_o for_o he_o then_o he_o tempt_v i_o to_o question_v the_o truth_n of_o the_o holy_a scripture_n and_o i_o be_v put_v upon_o it_o to_o prove_v they_o to_o be_v the_o word_n of_o god_n this_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o do_v therefore_o this_o temptation_n be_v the_o long_a upon_o i_o and_o i_o be_v much_o perplex_v about_o it_o and_o have_v the_o devil_n prevail_v with_o this_o he_o need_v not_o have_v follow_v i_o with_o any_o other_o temptation_n when_o this_o be_v a_o little_a over_o he_o come_v like_o a_o roar_a lion_n ready_a to_o devour_v i_o not_o as_o a_o angel_n of_o light_n but_o show_v himself_o in_o his_o own_o colour_n like_o a_o devil_n he_o assault_v i_o with_o the_o most_o horrid_a atheistical_a and_o blasphemous_a temptation_n that_o be_v possible_a for_o he_o to_o invent_v he_o strike_v deep_a and_o go_v about_o to_o destroy_v the_o foundation_n of_o all_o religion_n he_o tempt_v i_o to_o that_o which_o i_o be_o ashamed_a to_o think_v of_o and_o even_o tremble_v to_o mention_v even_o to_o believe_v there_o be_v no_o god_n nor_o devil_n heaven_n nor_o hell_n though_o i_o do_v not_o believe_v his_o temptation_n nor_o willing_o entertain_v it_o yet_o can_v i_o by_o no_o mean_n be_v rid_v of_o it_o it_o come_v very_o strong_a upon_o i_o follow_v i_o from_o bed_n to_o board_n and_o though_o i_o be_v terrify_v with_o the_o thought_n of_o it_o i_o can_v not_o put_v it_o out_o of_o my_o mind_n and_o i_o be_v in_o great_a perplexity_n of_o spirit_n but_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v secret_o to_o preserve_v i_o and_o support_v i_o under_o these_o grievous_a assault_n and_o in_o some_o measure_n to_o repel_v they_o but_o behold_v the_o policy_n of_o satan_n though_o this_o temptation_n do_v not_o prevail_v it_o make_v way_n for_o another_o which_o present_o follow_v for_o he_o who_o have_v tempt_v i_o to_o have_v such_o horrid_a atheistical_a thought_n now_o begin_v to_o terrify_v i_o for_o they_o he_o set_v sin_n before_o i_o in_o its_o aggravation_n and_o tell_v i_o that_o now_o i_o be_v worse_a than_o the_o very_a devil_n for_o they_o believe_v that_o there_o be_v a_o god_n and_o tremble_v therefore_o i_o then_o think_v i_o shall_v certain_o be_v damn_v that_o i_o be_v past_o all_o hope_n of_o salvation_n i_o look_v upon_o myself_o as_o ripe_a for_o damnation_n and_o ready_a for_o hell-torment_n he_o have_v often_o tell_v i_o it_o be_v too_o soon_o to_o repent_v now_o he_o tell_v i_o it_o be_v too_o late_o many_o scripture_n threaten_n be_v bring_v to_o my_o mind_n that_o do_v exceed_o terrify_v i_o as_o that_o in_o isaiah_n there_o be_v no_o peace_n say_v my_o god_n to_o the_o wicked_a and_o that_o the_o wicked_a shall_v be_v turn_v into_o hell_n and_o all_o the_o nation_n that_o forget_v god_n as_o i_o know_v i_o have_v do_v of_o a_o long_a time_n likewise_o psal_n 50._o 22._o and_o prov._n 1._o 24._o to_o the_o end_n when_o i_o go_v about_o to_o read_v the_o scripture_n than_o that_o place_n come_v to_o my_o mind_n what_o have_v thou_o to_o do_v to_o declare_v my_o statute_n or_o to_o take_v my_o covenant_n into_o thy_o mouth_n psal_n 50._o 16._o when_o i_o have_v thought_n of_o pray_v to_o the_o lord_n for_o grace_n that_o scripture_n come_v fresh_a into_o my_o mind_n the_o prayer_n of_o the_o wicked_a be_v a_o abomination_n these_o with_o many_o other_o scripture_n do_v affright_v and_o terrify_v i_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v i_o see_v myself_o utter_o undo_v without_o a_o interest_n in_o christ_n and_o yet_o i_o dare_v not_o lay_v hold_n on_o he_o for_o salvation_n i_o can_v express_v the_o sorrow_n of_o my_o mind_n under_o these_o strong_a conviction_n and_o various_a temptation_n my_o heart_n be_v fill_v with_o horror_n and_o terror_n day_n and_o night_n for_o some_o week_n together_o o_o the_o depth_n of_o satan_n wiles_n he_o that_o have_v lead_v i_o along_o all_o my_o day_n in_o presumption_n now_o he_o go_v about_o to_o drive_v i_o to_o despair_n how_o hard_o a_o thing_n be_v it_o to_o keep_v between_o these_o two_o extreme_n have_v not_o god_n uphold_v i_o by_o his_o power_n and_o mercy_n i_o have_v certain_o be_v dash_v in_o piece_n between_o these_o two_o rock_n satan_n have_v tempt_v i_o to_o think_v i_o have_v commit_v the_o sin_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n by_o my_o atheistical_a and_o blasphemous_a thought_n and_o because_o i_o sin_v against_o so_o much_o light_n this_o be_v a_o great_a and_o sore_o trouble_v to_o i_o and_o a_o heavy_a burden_n upon_o my_o conscience_n this_o scripture_n do_v much_o terrify_v i_o repentance_n be_v hide_v from_o thy_o eye_n and_o another_o he_o that_o believe_v not_o be_v condemn_v already_o and_o the_o wrath_n of_o god_n abide_v on_o he_o i_o look_v upon_o all_o the_o threaten_n as_o speak_v to_o i_o every_o thing_n add_v to_o my_o sorrow_n when_o i_o read_v the_o promise_n they_o administer_v no_o comfort_n to_o i_o but_o rather_o terror_n because_o i_o think_v i_o have_v no_o right_n to_o they_o or_o to_o those_o thing_n they_o assure_v we_o of_o when_o i_o hear_v of_o the_o joy_n of_o heaven_n and_o of_o the_o glory_n of_o it_o it_o increase_v my_o trouble_n to_o think_v there_o shall_v be_v so_o much_o happiness_n and_o i_o have_v no_o share_n in_o it_o but_o must_v be_v banish_v from_o god_n and_o
thankful_a it_o be_v not_o grace_n that_o be_v deny_v thou_o but_o only_a comfort_n she_o that_o mourn_v that_o her_o belove_a be_v go_v and_o have_v withdraw_v himself_o be_v a_o spouse_n still_o she_o have_v a_o interest_n in_o the_o bridegroom_n though_o she_o see_v he_o not_o disease_n feel_v in_o the_o soul_n seldom_o prove_v mortal_a desire_v after_o christ_n and_o sanctification_n be_v a_o sign_n of_o no_o utter_a rejection_n the_o soul_n that_o can_v true_o desire_v mercy_n be_v not_o total_o exclude_v mercy_n o_o let_v tempt_v trouble_v soul_n then_o be_v comfort_v the_o bless_a god_n have_v a_o compassionate_a open_a ear_n to_o all_o sensible_a self-bemoaning_a sinner_n jer._n 31._o 18._o i_o have_v sure_o hear_v ephraim_n be_v moan_v himself_o there_o be_v none_o such_o but_o shall_v be_v hear_v of_o god_n they_o shall_v be_v love_v of_o god_n that_o loath_a themselves_o they_o shall_v be_v acquit_v of_o god_n that_o condemn_v themselves_o his_o merciful_a ear_n be_v still_o open_a to_o self-bemoaning_a sinner_n when_o once_o a_o sinner_n come_v to_o himself_o he_o be_v not_o far_o from_o god_n isa_n 40._o 27._o why_o say_v thou_o o_o jacob_n and_o speak_v o_o israel_n my_o way_n be_v hide_v from_o the_o lord_n and_o my_o judgement_n be_v pass_v over_o from_o my_o god_n the_o inward_a thought_n of_o many_o sensible_a sinner_n be_v that_o god_n have_v cast_v they_o off_o and_o shut_v his_o door_n of_o mercy_n upon_o they_o and_o will_v never_o concern_v himself_o more_o in_o their_o salvation_n such_o unkind_a thought_n we_o be_v apt_a to_o have_v of_o a_o good_a god_n when_o conscience_n bring_v our_o sin_n to_o a_o bitter_a remembrance_n well_o now_o say_v god_n why_o say_v thou_o o_o jacob_n the_o word_n be_v a_o reproof_n for_o distrust_n of_o god_n why_o do_v thou_o think_v and_o speak_v so_o unkind_o of_o i_o as_o that_o i_o shall_v cast_v thou_o out_o of_o my_o care_n and_o thought_n my_o way_n be_v hide_v from_o the_o lord._n what_o be_v the_o meaning_n of_o that_o why_o god_n take_v no_o notice_n of_o my_o wretchedness_n to_o commiserate_v my_o condition_n and_o relieve_v i_o he_o care_v not_o what_o become_v of_o i_o or_o my_o way_n and_o my_o way_n be_v hide_v that_o he_o can_v help_v i_o and_o my_o judgement_n be_v pass_v from_o my_o god_n that_o be_v there_o be_v a_o sentence_n of_o death_n pass_v on_o i_o there_o be_v no_o escape_n but_o see_v how_o compassionate_a the_o lord_n speak_v why_o do_v thou_o say_v so_o poor_a soul_n i_o be_o not_o thoughtless_a and_o regardless_o of_o thou_o as_o thou_o say_v v._n 28_o 29._o have_v thou_o not_o know_v and_o hear_v the_o everlasting_a god_n give_v power_n to_o the_o faint_a and_o to_o they_o that_o have_v no_o might_n increase_v strength_n such_o as_o be_v despond_v and_o hopeless_a in_o themselves_o god_n raise_v they_o up_o they_o that_o wait_v on_o the_o lord_n shall_v renew_v their_o strength_n god_n in_o his_o time_n will_v refresh_v every_o weary_a soul_n iii_o the_o covenant_n of_o grace_n be_v god_n free_a offer_n and_o promise_v of_o life_n and_o salvation_n by_o christ_n to_o all_o sinner_n that_o shall_v believe_v in_o he_o it_o be_v a_o gracious_a and_o firm_a obligation_n in_o which_o god_n do_v make_v over_o himself_o and_o all_o his_o goodness_n in_o christ_n to_o all_o believer_n it_o be_v a_o great_a matter_n for_o god_n to_o be_v our_o god_n in_o special_a covenant_n when_o he_o say_v i_o will_v be_v your_o god_n it_o be_v as_o if_o he_o shall_v have_v say_v i_o will_v bestow_v my_o self_n upon_o you_o what_o i_o be_o i_o be_o for_o thou_o my_o spirit_n my_o comfort_n my_o son_n my_o love_n my_o goodness_n my_o assistance_n my_o happiness_n it_o be_v thou_o my_o holiness_n shall_v make_v you_o holy_a my_o wisdom_n shall_v make_v you_o wise_a my_o righteousness_n shall_v make_v you_o righteous_a whatsoever_o a_o god_n can_v do_v for_o his_o people_n i_o will_v do_v for_o you_o you_o shall_v have_v all_o thing_n needful_a for_o you_o all_o thing_n desirable_a all_o that_o you_o can_v expect_v from_o a_o god_n expect_v it_o from_o i_o i_o will_v be_v gracious_a to_o pass_v by_o thy_o unworthiness_n i_o will_v be_v merciful_a to_o pardon_v thy_o sin_n i_o will_v be_v holiness_n to_o change_v thy_o nature_n i_o will_v be_v assistance_n to_o thou_o in_o duty_n i_o will_v be_v comfort_n to_o thou_o in_o trouble_n i_o will_v be_v wisdom_n to_o cure_v thy_o folly_n i_o will_v be_v plenty_n to_o thy_o want_n i_o will_v be_v strength_n to_o thy_o weakness_n i_o will_v give_v a_o blessing_n to_o your_o estate_n i_o will_v be_v providence_n as_o to_o your_o danger_n i_o will_v be_v preservation_n as_o to_o your_o person_n i_o will_v be_v salvation_n to_o your_o soul_n i_o will_v be_v your_o sun_n and_o shield_n i_o will_v be_v your_o recompense_n and_o exceed_v great_a reward_n i_o will_v be_v a_o god_n unto_o you_o i_o will_v be_v your_o god_n and_o guide_v unto_o death_n and_o your_o portion_n for_o ever_o this_o be_v for_o god_n to_o be_v our_o god_n in_o special_a covenant_n iv._o there_o may_v be_v faith_n where_o there_o be_v no_o assurance_n remember_v it_o o_o my_o soul_n for_o thy_o comfort_n and_o make_v a_o right_a use_n of_o it_o thou_o may_v be_v a_o true_a believer_n though_o thou_o be_v but_o a_o weak_a believer_n nay_o though_o thou_o be_v ready_a to_o think_v thyself_o no_o believer_n it_o be_v one_o thing_n to_o have_v a_o interest_n in_o christ_n and_o salvation_n and_o another_o to_o know_v it_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o many_o a_o good_a christian_a to_o trust_v in_o god_n and_o believe_v in_o jesus_n christ_n and_o yet_o in_o time_n of_o desertion_n and_o temptation_n he_o may_v not_o know_v it_o a_o soul_n under_o the_o eclipse_n of_o god_n countenance_n may_v think_v himself_o in_o a_o lose_a condition_n as_o david_n do_v i_o say_v i_o be_o cut_v off_o from_o before_o thy_o eye_n psal_n 31._o 22._o but_o it_o be_v not_o so_o for_o god_n then_o hear_v the_o voice_n of_o his_o 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