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distrustful_a strive_v against_o his_o will_n and_o desire_v to_o keep_v up_o my_o own_o before_o it_o 21._o what_o abundant_a experience_n have_v i_o have_v of_o god_n fidelity_n and_o love_n and_o after_o all_o this_o shall_v i_o not_o trust_v he_o his_o undeserved_a mercy_n give_v i_o be_v it_o choose_v my_o parent_n it_o give_v they_o a_o tender_a love_n to_o i_o and_o desire_v of_o my_o good_a it_o teach_v they_o to_o instruct_v i_o early_o in_o his_o word_n and_o to_o educate_v i_o in_o his_o fear_n it_o choose_v i_o suitable_a company_n and_o habitation_n it_o give_v i_o betimes_o a_o teachable_a ingeny_n it_o choose_v my_o schoolmaster_n it_o bring_v to_o my_o hand_n many_o excellent_a and_o suitable_a book_n it_o give_v i_o some_o profitable_a public_a teacher_n it_o place_v i_o in_o the_o best_a of_o land_n on_o earth_n and_o i_o think_v in_o the_o best_a of_o age_n which_o that_o land_n have_v see_v it_o do_v early_o destroy_v all_o great_a expectation_n and_o desire_n of_o 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of_o my_o ministration_n and_o habitation_n to_o this_o day_n without_o my_o own_o forecast_n or_o seek_v when_o and_o where_o since_o he_o first_o send_v i_o forth_o do_v i_o labour_v in_o vain_a how_o many_o be_v go_v to_o heaven_n and_o how_o many_o be_v in_o the_o way_n to_o who_o he_o have_v bless_v the_o word_n which_o in_o weakness_n i_o do_v by_o his_o grace_n and_o providence_n deliver_v many_o good_a christian_n be_v glad_a of_o now_o and_o then_o a_o hour_n time_n to_o meditate_v on_o god_n word_n and_o recreate_v themselves_o in_o his_o holy_a worship_n but_o god_n have_v allow_v and_o call_v i_o to_o make_v it_o the_o constant_a business_n of_o my_o life_n my_o library_n have_v afford_v i_o both_o profitable_a and_o pleasant_a company_n and_o help_v at_o all_o time_n when_o ever_o i_o will_v use_v they_o i_o have_v dwell_v among_o the_o shine_a light_n which_o the_o learned_a wise_a and_o holy_a man_n of_o all_o age_n have_v set_v up_o and_o left_a to_o illuminate_v the_o 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other_o how_o unworthy_a be_v i_o to_o be_v keep_v from_o the_o multiply_a snare_n of_o sect_n and_o error_n which_o reign_v in_o this_o age_n and_o to_o be_v use_v as_o a_o mean_n for_o other_o man_n preservation_n and_o reduction_n and_o to_o be_v keep_v in_o a_o love_n of_o unity_n and_o peace_n how_o unworthy_a be_v i_o that_o god_n shall_v make_v know_v to_o i_o so_o much_o of_o his_o reconcile_a truth_n while_o extreme_n do_v round_o about_o prevail_v and_o be_v commend_v to_o the_o church_n by_o the_o advantage_n of_o piety_n on_o one_o side_n and_o of_o worldly_a prosperity_n and_o power_n on_o the_o other_o and_o the_o god_n shall_v use_v i_o above_o thirty_o year_n
in_o so_o comfortable_a a_o work_n as_o to_o plead_v and_o write_v for_o love_n peace_n and_o concord_n and_o to_o vouchsafe_v i_o so_o much_o success_n therein_o as_o he_o have_v do_v notwithstanding_o the_o general_a prevalency_n of_o the_o contentious_a military_a tribe_n mercy_n i_o have_v have_v in_o peace_n and_o liberty_n in_o time_n of_o violence_n and_o mercy_n i_o have_v have_v in_o war_n live_v two_o year_n in_o safety_n in_o a_o city_n of_o defence_n in_o the_o very_a midst_n of_o the_o land_n coventry_n and_o see_v no_o enemy_n while_o the_o kingdom_n be_v in_o war_n and_o flame_n and_o only_o hear_v of_o the_o common_a calamity_n round_o about_o and_o when_o i_o go_v abroad_o and_o see_v the_o effect_n of_o humane_a folly_n and_o fury_n and_o of_o god_n displeasure_n he_o merciful_o keep_v i_o from_o hurt_v any_o one_o and_o be_v hurt_v by_o any_o how_o many_o a_o time_n have_v he_o preserve_v i_o by_o day_n and_o night_n in_o difficulty_n and_o danger_n from_o the_o malice_n of_o satan_n and_o from_o the_o wrath_n of_o man_n and_o from_o accident_n which_o threaten_v sudden_a death_n while_o i_o behold_v the_o ruin_n of_o town_n and_o country_n and_o the_o field_n cover_v with_o the_o carcase_n of_o the_o slay_v i_o be_v preserve_v and_o return_v home_o in_o peace_n and_o o_o how_o great_a be_v the_o mercy_n which_o he_o show_v i_o in_o a_o teachable_a tractable_a peaceable_a humble_a unanimous_a people_n so_o many_o in_o number_n and_o so_o exemplary_a in_o quality_n who_o to_o this_o day_n keep_v their_o integrity_n and_o concord_n when_o violence_n have_v separate_v i_o from_o they_o twenty_o two_o year_n yea_o the_o like_a mercy_n of_o acceptance_n and_o success_n beyond_o my_o expectation_n he_o have_v show_v i_o every_o where_o i_o have_v have_v opportunity_n of_o free_a ministration_n even_o where_o there_o be_v many_o adversary_n i_o have_v have_v a_o open_a door_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o humane_a wrath_n and_o rage_n he_o have_v preserve_v my_o liberty_n beyond_o expectation_n and_o continue_v my_o acceptance_n and_o success_n when_o i_o may_v not_o speak_v by_o voice_n to_o any_o single_a congregation_n he_o enable_v i_o to_o speak_v by_o write_n to_o many_o and_o for_o the_o success_n of_o my_o plain_a &_o popular_a write_n which_o cost_v i_o least_o i_o can_v never_o be_v sufficient_o thankful_a some_o of_o which_o he_o send_v to_o preach_v abroad_o in_o other_o language_n in_o foreign_a land_n when_o my_o mouth_n with_o eighteen_o hundred_o or_o two_o thousand_o more_o have_v be_v many_o year_n stop_v he_o have_v since_o open_v they_o in_o some_o degree_n and_o the_o suffering_n intend_v we_o by_o man_n have_v be_v partly_o put_v by_o and_o partly_o much_o alleviate_v by_o his_o providence_n and_o the_o hardness_n of_o our_o term_n have_v not_o so_o much_o hinder_v the_o success_n of_o faithful_a labour_n as_o we_o fear_v and_o as_o other_o hope_v it_o will_v have_v do_v i_o have_v have_v the_o comfort_n of_o see_v some_o peace_n and_o concord_n and_o prosperity_n of_o truth_n and_o piety_n keep_v up_o under_o the_o utmost_a opposition_n of_o diabolical_a and_o humane_a power_n policy_n and_o wrath_n when_o i_o have_v be_v send_v to_o the_o common_a jail_n for_o my_o service_n and_o obedience_n to_o he_o he_o have_v there_o keep_v i_o in_o peace_n and_o soon_o deliver_v i_o he_o have_v make_v the_o mouth_n of_o my_o great_a enemy_n who_o have_v study_v my_o defamation_n and_o my_o ruin_n to_o become_v my_o witness_n and_o compurgator_n and_o to_o cross_v their_o own_o design_n how_o wonderful_a be_v it_o that_o i_o shall_v so_o long_o dwell_v in_o so_o much_o peace_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o those_o that_o seem_v to_o want_v neither_o power_n nor_o skill_n and_o much_o less_o will_n to_o tread_v i_o down_o into_o contempt_n and_o misery_n and_o o_o how_o many_o a_o danger_n fear_n and_o pain_n have_v he_o deliver_v this_o frail_a and_o languish_a body_n from_o how_o oft_o have_v he_o succour_v i_o when_o flesh_n and_o heart_n and_o art_n have_v fail_v he_o have_v cure_v my_o consume_a cough_n and_o many_o a_o time_n stay_v my_o flow_a blood_n he_o have_v ease_v my_o pain_a limb_n and_o support_v a_o weary_a macerate_v skeleton_n he_o have_v fetch_v i_o up_o from_o the_o jaw_n of_o death_n and_o reverse_v the_o sentence_n which_o man_n have_v pass_v on_o i_o how_o many_o thousand_o weary_a day_n have_v be_v sweeten_v with_o his_o pleasant_a work_n and_o how_o many_o thousand_o painful_a weary_a night_n have_v have_v a_o comfortable_a morning_n how_o many_o thousand_o strong_a and_o healthful_a person_n have_v be_v take_v away_o by_o death_n whilst_o i_o have_v be_v uphold_v under_o all_o this_o weakness_n many_o a_o time_n have_v i_o cry_v to_o the_o lord_n in_o my_o trouble_n and_o he_o have_v deliver_v i_o out_o of_o my_o distress_n i_o have_v have_v forty_o year_n add_v to_o my_o day_n since_o i_o will_v have_v be_v full_a glad_a of_o hezekiah_n promise_n of_o fifteen_o since_o the_o day_n that_o i_o first_o preach_v his_o gospel_n i_o expect_v not_o of_o long_a time_n to_o live_v above_o a_o year_n and_o i_o have_v live_v since_o then_o forty_o year_n when_o my_o own_o prayer_n be_v cold_a and_o unbelieving_a how_o many_o hundred_o have_v pray_v for_o i_o and_o what_o strange_a deliverance_n encourage_v fast_v and_o prayer_n have_v i_o oft_o have_v upon_o their_o importunate_a request_n my_o friend_n have_v be_v faithful_a and_o the_o few_o that_o prove_v unfaithful_a have_v profitable_o teach_v i_o to_o place_v no_o confidence_n in_o man_n and_o and_o not_o to_o be_v inordinate_o affect_v to_o any_o thing_n on_o earth_n for_o i_o be_v forsake_v by_o none_o of_o they_o but_o those_o few_o that_o i_o excessive_o value_v and_o overlove_v my_o relation_n have_v be_v comfortable_a to_o i_o contrary_a to_o my_o desert_n and_o much_o beyond_o my_o expectation_n my_o servant_n have_v be_v faithful_a my_o neighbour_n have_v be_v kind_a my_o enemy_n have_v be_v impotent_a harmless_a or_o profitable_a my_o superior_n have_v honour_v i_o by_o their_o respectful_a word_n and_o while_o they_o have_v afflict_v i_o as_o suppose_v i_o a_o remora_fw-la to_o their_o design_n they_o have_v not_o destroy_v but_o protect_v i_o to_o my_o inferior_n god_n have_v make_v i_o in_o my_o low_a capacity_n somewhat_o helpful_a i_o have_v be_v protect_v in_o ordinary_a health_n and_o safety_n when_o the_o rage_a pestilence_n come_v near_o my_o habitation_n and_o consume_v a_o hundred_o thousand_o citizen_n my_o dwelling_n have_v be_v safe_a when_o i_o have_v see_v the_o glory_n of_o the_o land_n in_o flame_n and_o after_o behold_v the_o dismal_a ruin_n when_o violence_n separate_v i_o from_o my_o too_o much_o belove_v library_n and_o drive_v i_o into_o a_o poor_a and_o smoky_a house_n i_o never_o have_v more_o help_n of_o god_n nor_o do_v more_o difficult_a work_n than_o there_o what_o pleasant_a retirement_n and_o quietness_n in_o the_o country_n have_v be_v the_o fruit_n of_o persecute_v wrath_n and_o i_o must_v not_o forget_v when_o i_o have_v more_o public_a liberty_n how_o he_o save_v i_o and_o all_o my_o hearer_n even_o by_o a_o wonder_n from_o be_v bury_v in_o the_o ruin_n of_o the_o fabric_n where_o we_o be_v and_o other_o from_o the_o calamitous_a scandal_n and_o lamentation_n which_o will_v else_o have_v follow_v and_o it_o be_v not_o a_o mercy_n to_o be_v extenuate_v that_o when_o the_o tongue_n and_o pen_n of_o all_o sect_n among_o we_o and_o of_o proâ—d_a self-exalters_a and_o of_o some_o worthy_a pious_a differ_a brethren_n have_v be_v long_o and_o vehement_o bend_v against_o i_o when_o my_o infamy_n have_v be_v endeavour_v by_o abundance_n of_o volume_n by_o the_o backbiting_a of_o angry_a divider_n of_o all_o sort_n and_o by_o the_o calumniate_a accusation_n of_o some_o that_o be_v too_o high_a to_o be_v gainsay_v and_o will_v not_o endure_v i_o to_o answer_v they_o and_o vindicate_v my_o innocency_n yet_o all_o these_o together_o be_v never_o able_a to_o fasten_v their_o accusation_n and_o procure_v any_o common_a belief_n nor_o to_o bring_v i_o under_o the_o design_a contempt_n much_o less_o to_o break_v my_o comfort_n encouragement_n or_o labour_n these_o all_o these_o and_o very_o many_o more_o than_o these_o be_v my_o experience_n of_o that_o wondrous_a mercy_n which_o have_v measure_v my_o pilgrimage_n and_o fill_v up_o my_o day_n never_o do_v god_n break_v his_o promise_n with_o i_o never_o do_v he_o fail_v i_o nor_o forsake_v i_o have_v i_o not_o provoke_v he_o by_o rash_a and_o wilful_a sin_v how_o little_a interruption_n of_o my_o peace_n and_o comfort_n have_v i_o ever_o be_v likely_a to_o have_v have_v and_o shall_v i_o now_o distrust_v he_o at_o the_o last_o shall_v i_o not_o
fetter_v a_o active_a spirit_n and_o we_o sleep_v or_o turn_v away_o in_o wander_a thought_n when_o we_o shall_v serious_o converse_v with_o christ_n and_o heaven_n alas_o what_o unworthy_a servant_n have_v our_o lord_n be_v such_o as_o these_o meet_v for_o his_o work_n his_o love_n his_o acceptance_n or_o his_o kingdom_n but_o o_o how_o merciful_a a_o saviour_n have_v we_o who_o take_v not_o his_o poor_a servant_n at_o the_o worst_a but_o when_o they_o after_o serve_v he_o thus_o in_o his_o agony_n he_o gentle_o rebuke_v they_o can_v you_o not_o watch_v with_o i_o one_o hour_n and_o that_o with_o a_o excuse_n the_o spirit_n be_v willing_a but_o the_o flesh_n be_v weak_a §_o 18._o it_o be_v a_o matter_n of_o great_a moment_n to_o understand_v in_o what_o case_n this_o excuse_n will_v hold_v and_o our_o weakness_n will_v not_o make_v the_o willingness_n of_o the_o spirit_n unacceptable_a to_o god_n if_o a_o drunkard_n fornicator_n or_o other_o sensualist_n shall_v say_v my_o spirit_n be_v willing_a to_o leave_v my_o sin_n but_o my_o flesh_n be_v weak_a and_o in_o temptation_n do_v prevail_v video_fw-la meliora_fw-la proboque_fw-la etc._n etc._n this_o excuse_n will_v not_o prove_v god_n forgiveness_n if_o a_o man_n live_v in_o know_a sin_n which_o he_o can_v forbear_v be_v he_o true_o willing_a and_o say_v to_o will_n be_v present_a with_o i_o but_o to_o do_v i_o be_o unable_a it_o be_v not_o i_o but_o sin_n that_o dwell_v in_o i_o this_o will_v be_v but_o a_o frivolous_a excuse_n and_o yet_o to_o the_o sleepy_a disciple_n it_o be_v a_o good_a excuse_n and_o i_o think_v to_o paul_n rome_n 7._o where_o then_o be_v the_o dâ—fference_n there_o be_v some_o act_n of_o man_n which_o the_o will_n have_v not_o power_n to_o rule_v and_o some_o that_o it_o can_v rule_v the_o will_n have_v not_o power_n always_o to_o keep_v a_o sleepy_a man_n awake_v this_o sleep_n may_v be_v of_o the_o flesh_n without_o any_o will_n at_o all_o and_o this_o excuse_v from_o all_o guilt_n there_o be_v some_o act_n of_o man_n which_o the_o will_n can_v rule_v but_o by_o a_o great_a degree_n of_o power_n and_o endeavour_v as_o perhaps_o with_o much_o ado_n by_o prevent_v and_o resist_a diligence_n the_o disciple_n may_v have_v keep_v awake_a in_o this_o case_n their_o sleep_n be_v a_o fault_n but_o a_o pardon_a fault_n of_o weakness_n some_o person_n be_v liable_a to_o inordinate_a fear_n and_o grief_n which_o so_o surprise_v they_o by_o the_o constitution_n of_o their_o body_n that_o the_o great_a unwillingness_n will_v not_o hinder_v they_o and_o some_o can_v do_v more_o to_o resist_v these_o passion_n than_o they_o do_v but_o very_o hardly_o with_o the_o great_a diligence_n these_o be_v according_o excusable_a in_o degree_n paul_n will_v have_v perfect_o obey_v god_n law_n and_o never_o have_v sin_v but_o there_o be_v no_o perfection_n in_o this_o life_n mere_a imperfection_n of_o true_a grace_n which_o be_v predominant_a in_o the_o will_n do_v not_o damn_v man_n but_o there_o be_v act_n which_o be_v so_o subject_a to_o the_o will_n that_o a_o sincere_a will_n though_o imperfect_a can_v command_v they_o he_o that_o do_v these_o or_o do_v the_o contrary_a it_o be_v not_o because_o he_o sincere_o will_v and_o can_v but_o because_o he_o have_v but_o uneffectual_a wish_n and_o be_v not_o sincere_o willing_a if_o he_o know_v they_o to_o be_v what_o they_o be_v especial_o if_o they_o be_v material_o great_a sin_n which_o he_o yield_v to_o which_o true_a grace_n more_o strong_o resist_v than_o it_o do_v a_o idle_a word_n or_o thought_n or_o action_n in_o short_a all_o omission_n or_o commission_n in_o which_o the_o will_n be_v positive_o or_o privative_o guilty_a be_v sinful_a in_o some_o degree_n but_o only_o these_o do_v damn_v the_o sinner_n which_o be_v inconsistent_a with_o the_o predominant_a love_n of_o god_n and_o heaven_n and_o holiness_n in_o the_o soul_n §_o 19_o when_o the_o disciple_n awake_v they_o see_v these_o glorious_a one_o in_o converse_n do_v they_o hear_v what_o they_o say_v or_o do_v christ_n after_o tell_v they_o the_o late_a be_v most_o probable_a doubtless_o as_o moses_n tell_v we_o how_o god_n make_v the_o world_n which_o none_o can_v tell_v he_o but_o by_o god_n tell_v they_o first_o so_o the_o apostle_n have_v write_v many_o thing_n of_o christ_n which_o they_o neither_o see_v nor_o hear_v but_o from_o christ_n that_o tell_v it_o they_o by_o word_n or_o inspiration_n how_o else_o know_v they_o what_o satan_n say_v and_o do_v to_o he_o in_o his_o temptation_n in_o the_o wilderness_n and_o on_o the_o pinnacle_n of_o the_o temple_n how_o know_v they_o what_o his_o prayer_n be_v in_o his_o agony_n and_o so_o in_o this_o instance_n also_o but_o christ_n own_o testimony_n be_v enough_o to_o put_v they_o out_o of_o doubt_n to_o they_o that_o daily_o see_v his_o confirm_a miracle_n §_o 20._o how_o great_a a_o difference_n be_v there_o between_o mount_n sinai_n and_o this_o mount_n when_o god_n deliver_v the_o law_n to_o moses_n that_o mount_n be_v terrible_a in_o flame_n and_o smoke_n and_o thunder_n so_o that_o the_o people_n tremble_v and_o flee_v but_o now_o here_o be_v nothing_o but_o life_n and_o light_n and_o love_n from_o heaven_n a_o merciful_a redeemer_n who_o face_n shine_v as_o the_o sun_n with_o heavenly_a company_n appear_v near_o to_o the_o disciple_n pity_v and_o bear_v with_o their_o heaviness_n and_o infirmity_n strengthen_v their_o faith_n and_o hope_n and_o prove_v to_o they_o a_o resurrection_n and_o a_o heavenly_a kingdom_n by_o a_o visible_a apparition_n of_o some_o of_o its_o possessor_n this_o be_v not_o a_o frightful_a but_o a_o confirm_v delectable_a sight_n the_o law_n in_o terror_n be_v by_o moses_n but_o grace_n and_o truth_n peace_n and_o pleasure_n be_v by_o christ_n this_o be_v a_o invite_a and_o delight_v and_o not_o a_o affright_a apparition_n be_v it_o not_o a_o shameful_a infirmity_n and_o a_o sin_n that_o peter_n shall_v deny_v christ_n after_o such_o a_o sight_n as_o this_o and_o the_o rest_n of_o the_o disciple_n forsake_v he_o and_o fly_v what!_o after_o they_o have_v see_v the_o kingdom_n of_o god_n come_v in_o power_n and_o christ_n face_n shine_v as_o the_o sun_n in_o its_o brightness_n can_v they_o forget_v all_o this_o or_o can_v they_o doubt_v whether_o he_o or_o his_o persecutor_n be_v the_o strong_a and_o like_a to_o prevail_v at_o last_o o_o how_o frail_a how_o uncertain_a how_o bad_a a_o thing_n be_v deprave_v man_n but_o though_o christ_n find_v they_o asleep_o and_o though_o he_o foreknow_v that_o they_o will_v forsake_v he_o he_o forsake_v not_o they_o nor_o use_v they_o as_o they_o deserve_v but_o comfort_v they_o with_o a_o glimpse_n of_o heaven_n for_o he_o die_v for_o his_o enemy_n §_o 21._o but_o this_o be_v but_o once_o in_o all_o the_o time_n of_o his_o abode_n among_o they_o it_o be_v a_o extraordinary_a feast_n and_o not_o their_o daily_a bread_n they_o have_v christ_n still_o with_o they_o but_o not_o transfigure_v in_o glory_n nor_o moses_n and_o elias_n in_o their_o sight_n we_o be_v too_o apt_a to_o think_v that_o if_o god_n give_v we_o a_o joyful_a extraordinary_a glimpse_n of_o heaven_n we_o must_v have_v it_o always_o or_o that_o he_o forsake_v we_o and_o castus_fw-la off_o when_o he_o deny_v it_o we_o o_o that_o we_o be_v as_o desirous_a of_o holiness_n and_o duty_n as_o we_o be_v of_o the_o joy_n which_o be_v the_o reward_n but_o our_o father_n and_o not_o we_o must_v be_v the_o chooser_n both_o of_o our_o food_n and_o feast_n moses_n do_v not_o dwell_v on_o mount_n nebo_n that_o he_o may_v still_o see_v the_o land_n of_o promise_n it_o be_v enough_o to_o have_v one_o sight_n of_o it_o before_o his_o death_n as_o flesh_n and_o blood_n can_v enter_v into_o heaven_n so_o it_o be_v little_a of_o heaven_n that_o enter_v into_o it_o §_o 22._o when_o the_o disciple_n awake_v they_o see_v his_o glory_n and_o the_o two_o man_n that_o stand_v with_o he_o it_o must_v not_o be_v a_o sleeep_v but_o a_o awaken_v christian_a that_o will_v have_v a_o sight_n of_o heavenly_a glory_n as_o we_o must_v love_v god_n with_o all_o the_o heart_n and_o soul_n and_o may_v all_o must_v be_v awaken_v in_o seek_v he_o and_o in_o attend_v he_o before_o we_o can_v have_v a_o joyful_a foretaste_n of_o his_o love_n carnal_a security_n supine_n neglect_n and_o dull_a contempt_n be_v disposition_n which_o render_v we_o uncapable_a of_o such_o delight_n heavenly_a joy_n suppose_v a_o heavenly_a disposition_n and_o desire_n angel_n sleep_v not_o nor_o be_v clog_v with_o body_n of_o clay_n earth_n have_v no_o wing_n it_o must_v be_v holy_a vivacity_n that_o must_v carry_v up_o a_o soul_n to_o god_n notwithstanding_o the_o fetter_n of_o flesh_n