secrets of the Almighty nor to pretend to know more of God than indeed I know but O that I might know more of his glorious Perfections of his Will and Love and Ways with that knowledge which is Eternal Life Blessed be that Love that sent the Son of God from Heaven to reveal him to us in the Gospel as he hath done But all that hear the same Words and Believe them have not the same degree of Light or Faith If an Angel from Heaven came down on Earth to tell us all of God that we would know and might lawfully desire and ask him who would not turn his Back on Libraries and Universities and the Learned men to go and discourse with such a Messenger What travel should I think too far What cost too great for one Hours talk with such a Messenger But we must have here but such intimations as will exercise Faith and excite desire and try us under the Temptations of the World and Flesh The glorious Light is the reward of the Victory obtained by the conduct of the Light of Grace God in great Mercy even here beginneth the reward They that are true to the initial Light and faithfully follow on to know the Lord do find usually such increase of Light not of vain Notions but of quickning and comforting knowledge of God as greatly encourageth them and draweth them still on to seek for more It is very pleasant here to increase in holy Knowledge though it usually bring an increase of malignant opposition and so of sorrows to the Flesh The pleasure that the mind hath in common knowledge brings men through a great deal of labour to attain it How many Years travel over Land and Sea do some men take to see and know more of this lower World Though it 's little that they bring home but more acquaintance with Sin and Vanity and Vexation How many more Years do Thousands spend in the reading of multitudes of tedious Volumes that they may know what others knew before them Printers and Booksellors live by our desire of Knowledge What Soul then on Earth can possibly conceive how great a pleasure it will be for a glorified Soul to see the Lord Though I cannot now conceive what that intuition of God himself will be and whether it will not be a glorious kind of concluding or abstractive knolwedge whether the Glory which we shall see be only a created appearance of God or be his very Essence it satisfieth me that it will be as perfect a knowledge as is fit for me to desire and I shall then desire no more than is fit And what it is I shall then know by itself for it is not otherwise to be clearly known And all the pleasure that I shall have in Heaven in knowing any of the works of God will be in my beholding God himself his Being his Vital power and action his Wisdom and his Love and Goodness in those works For he is the Life and Glory of them all Blessed are the pure in Heart for they shall see God II. And doubtless it will be no small part of my delight to see and know God's perfect works I mean the Universe itself I cannot say that I shall have so large a Capacity as to comprehend all the World or know it perfectly and with an adequate knowledge But I shall know it in such Perfection as is suitable to my capacity It is exceeding pleasant to know the least Particles of the works of God With what diligence and delight have men endeavoured to Anatomize a Body yea a small part of a Carkass and to know and describe poor Worms and Insects Plants and Minerals And no Man ever yet perfectly knew the least of them all no Herbalist or Physician ever yet knew the Nature and uses of any one Herb with an adequate knowledge With what delight and diligence are Physical searches carryed on in the World though still we are all but groaping in the dark and ignorant of many things for one that we know and therefore know no one perfectly because we are ignorant of rest But if indeed we were above our dreaming erroneous Hypotheses and saw the Nature of every Creature even in Sea and Land this little Spot of God's Creation and the compages of all Oh what a delightful Spectacle would it be How much more to see the whole Creation yea or one Vortex or Systeme of the Globes and to know their union and communion and to behold their beauteous Symmetry and hear them in concord and melodious Harmony praising the the Glory of their Great Wise Amiable Creator this were a delectable sight indeed I shall have as much of this as I shall be capable of And the wonders and glory of the Works of God shall wrap up my Soul in admiring joyful praise for ever And though here it be but little of God's Works that we know I have great reason to think that it will be far otherwise there 1. Because the state of Perfection must far excel our dark and infant state of imperfection We have now desires after such a knowledge His Works are great sought out of them that have pleasure therein And these desires being of God shall not be frustrate 2. Because there will be a proportionableness of the parts of our Perfection and therefore as our Love to God and his works will be there perfected so will be our knowledge 3. Because we shall know God himself as much as we are capable and therefore we shall know his works in him or by a subordinate knowledge the less being in the greater 4. Because God hath made his works to be known to his glory But it is little that is here known of them by Mortals therefore they are known by them in Heaven who are fitted to improve that knowledge to his praise If Christ who is the wisdom of God will teach me the true Philosophy how to love God and live here in all well pleasing unto him I shall quickly in Heaven be a perfect Philosopher and experience will tell me that the surest way to be truly Learned and know the wonderful works of God was to know love and serve the Great Creator and in Him we shall have all and without him we know nothing and have nothing at all Satan tempted Christ by shewing him the Kingdoms and glory of the World and promising them all to him if he would have worshipped him But God will shew me more than Satan could shew and give me more of that which is best than Satan could give III. And that in Heaven I shall better know Jesus Christ and all the Mystery of our Redemption by him will not be the least of my felicity For in him are hid all the Treasures of Wisdom And to know the Mystery of his Eternal Godhead in the second Person and his created Nature and the Union of these and to see God's wonderful design and work of grace in him laid open
shew us whither we must ascend and that after these comfortable words SAY TO MY BRETHREN I ASCEND TO MY FATHER AND YOUR FATHER TO MY GOD AND YOUR GOD Joh. 20. 17. And shall I not follow him through Death and trust such a Guide and Captain of my Salvation 14. He is there to prepare a place for me and will take me to himself And may I not confidently expect it 15. He told a Malefactor on the Cross that he should that day be with him in Paradise to tell believing Sinners what they may expect 16. The Church by the Article of his Descent into Hell hath signified their common belief that his separated Soul had its subsistence and operation and did not sleep or perish to tell us the Immortality of separated Souls 17. His Apostles and other Servants have on earth served him all with these expectations 18. The Spirits of the perfected Just are now in possession of what I hope for And I am a follower of them who by Faith and Patience have attained the promised Felicity And may I not trust him to save me who hath already saved Millions in this way When I could trust a Ferriman to pass me over a River that had safely passed over Thousands before me Or I could trust a Physician who cureth all that he undertaketh of the same Disease 19. I must be at his disposal whether I will or not I shall live while he will and die when he will and go whither he will I may sin and vex my Soul with fears and cares and sorrows but I shall never prevail against his will 20. Therefore there is no Rest for Souls but in the Will of God That will created us and that will did govern us and that will shall be fulfilled on us It was our Efficient and our Regent Cause and it shall be our End Where else is it that we should rest In the will of men or Angels or in our own wills All Creatures are but Creatures And our own Wills have undone us They have misgoverned us and they are our greatest Enemies our Disease our Prison and our Death till they are brought over to the will of God Till then they are like a Foot out of joint like a Child or Subject in Rebellion There is no rectitude or health no order no peace or true felicity but in the Conformity of our wills to the will of God And shall I die in distrustful striving against his will and desiring to keep up my own before it 21. What abundant experience have I had of God's fidelity and love and after all this shall I not trust him His undeserved Mercy gave me being it chose my Parents it gave them a tender love to me and desire of my good it taught them to instruct me early in his Word and to Educate me in his fear It chose me suitable Company and Habitation It gave me betimes a teachable ingeny It chose my School-masters It brought to my Hands many excellent and suitable Books It gave me some profitable publick Teachers It placed me in the best of Lands on Earth and I think in the best of Ages which that Land had seen It did early destroy all great expectations and desires of the World teaching me to bear the Yoak from my youth and causing me rather to groan under my infirmities than to fight with strong and potent Lusts It chastened me betimes but did not destroy me Great Mercy hath trained me up all my daies since I was Nineteen years of Age in the School of Affliction to keep my sluggish Soul awake in the constant expectations of my change and to kill my Pride and overvaluing of this World and to lead all my studies to the most necessary things and as a Spur to excite my Soul to seriousness and especially to save me from the supine neglect and loss of time O what unspeakable Mercy hath a life of constant but gentle Chastisement proved to me It urged me against all dull delays to make my Calling and Election sure and to make ready my accounts as one that must quickly give them up to God The Face of Death and nearness of Eternity did much convince me what Books to read what studies to perfer and prosecute what Company and Conversation to choose It drove me early into the Vineyard of the Lord and taught me to preach as a dying Man to dying men It was Divine Love and Mercy which made Sacred Truth so pleasant to me that my life hath been under all my infirmities almost a constant recreation and delight in its discoveries contemplation and practical use How happy a Teacher have I had What excellent help and sweet illumination How far beyond my expectation hath Divine Mercy encouraged me in his Sacred work How congruously did he choose every place of my Ministration and Habitation to this day without my own forecast or seeking When and where since he first sent me forth did I labour in vain How many are gone to Heaven and how many are in the way to whom he hath blessed the Word which in weakness I did by his Grace and Providence deliver Many good Christians are glad of now and then an Hours time to meditate on God's Word and recreate themselves in his holy worship but God hath allowed and called me to make it the constant business of my life My Library hath afforded me both profitable and pleasant company and help at all times when ever I would use them I have dwelt among the shining Lights which the Learned Wise and Holy men of all Ages have set up and left to illuminate the World How many comfortable Hours have I had in the Society of living Saints and in the love of faithful Friends How many joyful Daies have I had in the solemn Assemblies where God hath been worshipped with seriousness and alacrity by concordant though imperfect Saints Where the Spirit of Christ hath manifested his presence by helping my self and my Brethren in speaking and the People in ready delightful hearing and all of us in loving and gladly receiving his Doctrine Covenant and Laws How unworthy was such a sinful Worm as I who never had any Academical helps nor much from the Mouth of any Teacher that Books should become so great a Blessing to me and that quite beyond my own intentions God should induce or constrain me to provide any such like helps for others How unworthy was I to be kept from the multiplied snares of Sects and Errours which reigned in this Age and to be used as a means for other mens preservation and reduction And to be kept in a love of Unity and Peace How unworthy was I that God should make known to me so much of his reconciling truth while extreams did round about prevail and were commended to the Churches by the advantages of Piety on one side and of worldly Prosperity and Power on the other And the God should use me above thirty Years
in so comfortable a work as to plead and write for Love Peace and Concord and to vouchsafe me so much success therein as he hath done notwithstanding the general prevalency of the contentious military Tribe Mercy I have had in Peace and Liberty in times of Violence And Mercy I have had in Wars living two years in safety in a City of defence in the very midst of the Land Coventry and seeing no enemy while the Kingdom was in Wars and Flames and only hearing of the common Calamities round about And when I went abroad and saw the effects of humane folly and fury and of God's displeasure he mercifully kept me from hurting any one and being hurt by any How many a time hath he preserved me by Day and Night in difficulties and dangers from the Malice of Satan and from the Wrath of Man and from accidents which threatned sudden Death While I beheld the ruines of Towns and Countreys and the Fields covered with the Carkasses of the slain I was preserved and returned home in Peace And O how great was the mercy which he shewed me in a teachable tractable peaceable humble unanimous People So many in number and so exemplary in quality who to this Day keep their Integrity and Concord when violence hath separated me from them Twenty two years Yea the like Mercy of acceptance and success beyond my expectation he hath shewed me every where I have had opportunity of free ministration even where there were many Adversaries I have had an open Door in the midst of humane Wrath and Rage he hath preserved my Liberty beyond expectation and continued my acceptance and success When I might not speak by Voice to any single Congregation he enabled me to speak by Writings to many and for the success of my plainest popular writings which cost me least I can never be sufficiently thankful Some of which he sent to preach abroad in other Languages in forreign Lands When my Mouth with Eighteen hundred or Two thousands more had been many years stopped he hath since opened them in some degree and the sufferings intended us by men have been partly put by and partly much alleviated by his Providence and the hardness of our Terms hath not so much hindâ—ed the success of faithful Labours as we feared and as others hoped it would have done I have had the comfort of seeing some Peace and Concord and Prosperity of Truth and Piety kept up under the utmost opposition of diabolical and humane Power Policy and Wrath When I have been sent to the common Jail for my service and obedience to him he hath there kept me in peace and soon delivered me He hath made the Mouths of my greatest Enemies who have studied my defamation and my ruine to become my Witnesses and Compurgators and to cross their own designs How wonderful is it that I should so long dwell in so much peace in the midst of those that seemed to want neither Power nor Skill and much less Will to tread me down into contempt and misery And O how many a danger fear and pain hath he delivered this frail and languishing Body from How oft hath he succoured me when Flesh and Heart and Art have failed He hath cured my consuming Coughs and many a time stayed my flowing Blood he hath eased my pained Limbs and support'd a weary macerat'd Skeleton He hath fetcht me up from the Jaws of Death and reversed the Sentence which men have passed on me How many Thousand weary days have been sweetned with his pleasant work And how many Thousand painful weary Nights have had a comfortable Morning How many Thousand strong and healthful Persons have been taken away by Death whilst I have been upheld under all this weakness Many a time have I cryed to the Lord in my trouble and he hath delivered me out of my distress I have had Forty years added to my Daies since I would have been full glad of Hezekiah's promise of Fifteen Since the day that I first preached his Gospel I expected not of long time to live above a Year and I have lived since then Forty years when my own Prayers were cold and unbelieving how many Hundreds have prayed for me And what strange deliverances encouraging Fasting and Prayer have I oft had upon their importunate requests My Friends have been faithful and the few that proved unfaithful have profitably taught me to place no confidence in Man and and not to be inordinately affected to any thing on Earth for I was forsaken by none of them but those few that I excessively valued and overloved My Relations have been comfortable to me contrary to my deserts and much beyond my expectations My Servants have been faithful My Neighbours have been kind My Enemies have been impotent harmless or profitable My Superiours have honoured me by their respectful words and while they have afflicted me as supposing me a remora to their designs they have not destroyed but protected me To my inferiours God hath made me in my low capacity somwhat helpful I have been protected in ordinary health and safety when the raging Pestilence came near my Habitation and consumed an Hundred thousand Citizens My dwelling hath been safe when I have seen the glory of the Land in flames and after beheld the dismal ruines When violence separated me from my too much beloved Library and drove me into a poor and smoaky House I never had more help of God nor did more difficult work than there What pleasant retirements and quietness in the Countrey have been the fruits of persecuting Wrath And I must not forget when I had more publick liberty how he saved me and all my Hearers even by a wonder from being buried in the ruines of the Fabrick where we were and others from the Calamitous Scandal and Lamentations which would else have followed And it is not a Mercy to be extenuated that when the Tongues and Pens of all Sects among us and of proâ—d self-exalters and of some worthy Pious differing Brethren have been long and vehemently bent against me when my infamy hath been endeavoured by abundance of Volumes by the backbiting of angry dividers of all sorts and by the calumniating accusations of some that were too high to be gain-said and would not endure me to answer them and vindicate my innocency yet all these together were never able to fasten their accusations and procure any common belief nor to bring me under the designed contempt much less to break my comforts encouragements or labours These all these and very many more than these are my Experiences of that wondrous MERCY which hath measured my Pilgrimage and filled up my daies Never did God break his Promise with me Never did he fail me nor forsake me Had I not provoked him by rash and wilful sinning how little Interruption of my peace and comforts had I ever been likely to have had And shall I now distrust him at the last Shall I not
fettereth an active Spirit and we sleep or turn away in wandering Thoughts when we should seriously converse with Christ and Heaven Alas what unworthy Servants hath our Lord Are such as these meet for his work his Love his Acceptance or his Kingdom But O how merciful a Saviour have we who taketh not his poor Servants at the worst but when they after served him thus in his Agony he gently rebuketh them Could you not watch with me one Hour and that with an excuse The Spirit is willing but the Flesh is weak § 18. It is a matter of great Moment to understand in what cases this excuse will hold and our weakness will not make the willingness of the Spirit unacceptable to God If a Drunkard Fornicator or other Sensualist should say My Spirit is willing to leave my sin but my Flesh is weak and in temptation doth prevail Video meliora proboque c. This excuse would not prove God's forgiveness If a Man live in known sin which he could forbear were he truly willing and say To will is present with me but to do I am unable it is not I but sin that dwelleth in me this would be but a frivolous excuse And yet to the sleepy Disciples it was a good excuse and I think to Paul Rom 7. where then is the dâ—fference There are some acts of Man which the will hath not power to rule and some that it can rule The will hath not power always to keep a sleepy Man awake This sleep might be of the Flesh without any will at all And this excuseth from all guilt There are some acts of Man which the will cannot rule but by a great degree of power and endeavour As perhaps with much ado by preventing and resisting diligence the Disciples might have kept awake In this case their sleep is a fault but a pardoned fault of weakness Some Persons are liable to inordinate Fear and Grief which so surprizeth them by the Constitution of their Bodies that the greatest unwillingness would not hinder them And some could do more to resist these passions than they do but very hardly with the greatest diligence These are accordingly excusable in degree Paul would have perfectly obeyed God's Law and never have sinned But there is no Perfection in this Life Meer Imperfection of true Grace which is predominant in the will doth not damn men But there are acts which are so subject to the will that a sincere will though imperfect can command them He that doth these or doth the contrary it is not because he sincerely would and cannot but because he hath but uneffectual wishes and is not sincerely willing if he know them to be what they are Especially if they be materially great sins which he yieldeth to which true Grace more strongly resisteth than it doth an idle word or thought or action In short all omissions or commissions in which the will is positively or privatively guilty are sinful in some degree but only these do damn the Sinner which are inconsistent with the predominant Love of God and Heaven and Holiness in the Soul § 19. When the Disciples awaked they saw these glorious ones in converse Did they hear what they said or did Christ after tell them The later is most probable Doubtless as Moses tells us how God made the World which none could tell him but by God's telling them first so the Apostles have written many things of Christ which they neither saw nor heard but from Christ that told it them by Word or Inspiration How else knew they what Satan said and did to him in his Temptations in the Wilderness and on the Pinacle of the Temple How knew they what his Prayer was in his Agony And so in this instance also But Christ's own testimony was enough to put them out of Doubt to them that daily saw his confirming Miracles § 20. How great a difference was there between Mount Sinai and this Mount When God delivered the Law to Moses that Mount was terrible in Flame and Smoak and Thunder so that the People trembled and fled But now here is nothing but Life and Light and Love from Heaven A merciful Redeemer whose Face shined as the Sun with heavenly Company appearing nearly to the Disciples pittying and bearing with their heaviness and infirmity strengthning their Faith and Hope and proving to them a Resurrection and a heavenly Kingdom by a visible Apparition of some of its Possessors This was not a frightful but a confirming delectable sight The Law in terrour was by Moses but Grace and Truth Peace and Pleasure are by Christ This was an inviting and delighting and not an affrighting Apparition Was it not a shameful infirmity and a sin that Peter should deny Christ after such a sight as this and the rest of the Disciples forsake him and fly What! after they had seen the Kingdom of God come in Power and Christ's Face shine as the Sun in its brightness Could they forget all this Or could they doubt whether he or his Persecutors were the stronger and liker to prevail at last O how frail how uncertain how bad a thing is depraved Man But though Christ found them asleep and though he foreknew that they would forsake him he forsook not them nor used them as they deserved but comforted them with a glimpse of Heaven For he died for his Enemies § 21. But this was but once in all the time of his abode among them It was an extraordinary Feast and not their daily Bread They had Christ still with them but not transfigured in Glory nor Moses and Elias in their sight We are too apt to think that if God give us a joyful extraordinary glimpse of Heaven we must have it always or that he forsaketh us and castus off when he denieth it us O that we were as desirous of Holiness and Duty as we are of the Joy which is the reward But our Father and not we must be the chooser both of our Food and Feast Moses did not dwell on Mount Nebo that he might still see the Land of Promise It was enough to have one sight of it before his death As Flesh and Blood cannot enter into Heaven so it 's little of Heaven that entereth into it § 22. When the Disciples awake they see his Glory and the two men that stood with him It must not be a sleeeping but an awakened Christian that will have a sight of heavenly Glory As we must love God with all the Heart and Soul and Might all must be awakened in seeking him and in attending him before we can have a joyful foretast of his Love Carnal security supine neglect and dull contempt are dispositions which render us uncapable of such delights Heavenly joys suppose a heavenly disposition and desires Angels sleep not nor are clogged with Bodies of Clay Earth hath no Wings It must be holy vivacity that must carry up a Soul to God notwithstanding the fetters of Flesh