she_o do_v not_o well_o consider_v that_o she_o have_v not_o yet_o mew_v all_o her_o own_o sick-feather_n she_o may_v well_o step_n out_o of_o her_o nest_n yea_o and_o almighty_a god_n himself_o will_n perhaps_o take_v she_o now_o and_o then_o out_o from_o thence_o but_o she_o be_v not_o yet_o fit_a for_o a_o flight_n because_o her_o virtue_n be_v not_o yet_o grow_v to_o be_v of_o full_a strength_n nor_o have_v she_o yet_o experience_n for_o the_o knowledge_n of_o danger_n nor_o do_v she_o yet_o understand_v the_o mischief_n which_o grow_v by_o put_v too_o much_o trust_v in_o her_o own_o force_n and_o now_o this_o be_v that_o which_o destroy_v i_o and_o both_o for_o this_o and_o for_o all_o thing_n there_o will_v be_v great_a necessity_n of_o a_o director_n and_o of_o conversation_n with_o person_n who_o be_v spiritual_a indeed_o it_o be_v true_a i_o be_o full_o persuade_v that_o when_o almighty_a god_n do_v once_o bring_v a_o soul_n to_o this_o state_n he_o will_v not_o leave_v to_o 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which_o he_o have_v do_v we_o as_o to_o make_v we_o be_v punish_v for_o they_o but_o that_o rather_o they_o will_v help_v to_o obtain_v pardon_n for_o we_o so_o much_o the_o soon_o as_o for_o person_n who_o have_v belong_v to_o his_o house_n and_o have_v have_v the_o honour_n to_o eat_v as_o man_n use_v to_o say_v of_o his_o bread_n let_v they_o remember_v his_o word_n and_o consider_v how_o he_o have_v proceed_v with_o i_o who_o even_o weary_v myself_o with_o offend_v his_o divine_a majesty_n before_o he_o will_v forbear_v or_o fail_v to_o pardon_v i_o for_o he_o never_o grow_v unwilling_a to_o give_v nor_o be_v it_o ever_o possible_a to_o draw_v his_o mercy_n dry_a and_o so_o let_v not_o we_o be_v weary_a of_o ever_o receive_v favour_n at_o his_o hand_n let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o amen_n and_o let_v all_o creature_n praise_v he_o the_o twenty_o chapter_n wherein_o she_o treat_v of_o the_o difference_n between_a union_n and_o rapt_v and_o declare_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n 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the_o middle_n and_o in_o the_o end_n and_o it_o be_v always_o in_o the_o interior_a part_n but_o now_o as_o rapt_n be_v visitation_n of_o the_o soul_n which_o use_v to_o be_v of_o a_o high_a strain_n they_o be_v wont_n to_o produce_v their_o effect_n not_o only_o interiorly_a but_o exterior_o also_o i_o humble_o beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n that_o as_o he_o have_v vouchsafe_v to_o declare_v the_o rest_n so_o he_o will_v also_o vouchsafe_v to_o do_v this_o for_o certain_o if_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v not_o be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o to_o understand_v by_o what_o mean_n &_o in_o what_o manner_n it_o may_v be_v do_v i_o shall_v not_o possible_o have_v know_v which_o way_n to_o turn_v my_o hand_n let_v we_o therefore_o now_o consider_v that_o this_o last_o water_n whereof_o we_o have_v speak_v be_v so_o very_o plentiful_a and_o abundant_a that_o if_o it_o be_v not_o because_o the_o soil_n of_o the_o garden_n can_v consent_v to_o receive_v it_o we_o may_v believe_v that_o 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do_v even_o animate_v the_o body_n and_o so_o the_o body_n itself_o remain_v with_o a_o kind_n of_o trouble_n and_o defect_n through_o the_o want_n of_o that_o natural_a heat_n which_o belong_v to_o it_o and_o it_o go_v all_o cool_a itself_o though_o yet_o with_o a_o excessive_a sweetness_n and_o delight_n there_o be_v here_o no_o mean_n at_o all_o to_o resist_v though_o in_o union_n we_o be_v then_o as_o in_o our_o own_o country_n there_o be_v some_o remedy_n and_o so_o though_o it_o be_v not_o without_o suffer_v a_o kind_n of_o pain_n and_o use_v some_o force_n it_o may_v always_o in_o effect_n be_v employ_v but_o here_o for_o the_o most_o part_n there_o be_v no_o remedy_n at_o all_o nor_o any_o help_n but_o many_o time_n the_o thing_n arrive_v without_o our_o be_v so_o much_o as_o able_a to_o prevent_v the_o come_n of_o it_o even_o by_o our_o very_a thought_n and_o there_o grow_v to_o be_v such_o a_o speedy_a and_o strong_a kind_n of_o impetuositie_n that_o you_o feel_v and_o find_v this_o cloud_n to_o raise_v itself_o instant_o up_o or_o rather_o that_o this_o strong_a eagle_n take_v you_o and_o carry_v you_o quite_o away_o between_o her_o wing_n and_o i_o say_v it_o be_v understand_v and_o you_o find_v yourself_o to_o be_v carry_v away_o though_o you_o know_v not_o whither_o for_o howsoever_o the_o thing_n happen_v to_o be_v with_o delight_n yet_o so_o great_a be_v the_o weakness_n of_o our_o natural_a condition_n that_o it_o put_v we_o into_o some_o fear_n in_o the_o beginning_n and_o therefore_o it_o will_v be_v necessary_a in_o this_o case_n for_o the_o soul_n to_o be_v much_o more_o courageous_a and_o resolute_a then_o for_o all_o those_o occasion_n which_o be_v precedent_n for_o here_o she_o must_v be_v content_a to_o hazard_v all_o and_o to_o leave_v herself_o whole_o in_o the_o hand_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o to_o go_v whithersoever_o she_o shall_v be_v carry_v and_o this_o with_o a_o very_a good_a will_n for_o in_o fine_a they_o will_v be_v sure_a to_o carry_v she_o whether_o she_o will_v or_o no_o and_o that_o with_o so_o great_a extremity_n of_o strength_n and_o speed_n that_o howsoever_o i_o have_v a_o mind_n very_o very_o often_o to_o resist_v it_o yea_o and_o that_o i_o employ_v all_o the_o strength_n i_o have_v to_o that_o purpose_n and_o especial_o at_o some_o particular_a time_n when_o thing_n fall_v out_o to_o happen_v in_o public_a yea_o and_o at_o many_o other_o time_n also_o when_o they_o be_v private_a for_o i_o be_v then_o in_o doubt_n and_o fear_v lest_o i_o may_v be_v abuse_v and_o deceive_v it_o be_v yet_o but_o seldom_o that_o i_o be_v able_a to_o prevail_v to_o some_o small_a proportion_n but_o it_o cost_v
honour_n which_o be_v allow_v to_o other_o i_o consider_v the_o goodness_n of_o almighty_a god_n in_o not_o permit_v the_o soul_n even_o of_o that_o man_n to_o be_v defame_v but_o that_o it_o may_v be_v conceal_v that_o he_o be_v a_o enemy_n of_o he_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v even_o turn_v half_a fool_n by_o what_o i_o have_v see_v yet_o during_o all_o the_o performance_n of_o the_o office_n of_o the_o dead_a there_o be_v no_o more_o devil_n to_o be_v see_v but_o when_o afterward_o they_o put_v the_o body_n into_o the_o grave_n there_o be_v such_o a_o multitude_n of_o they_o ready_a to_o receive_v the_o body_n that_o i_o be_v even_o out_o of_o myself_o with_o behold_v it_o and_o it_o be_v no_o little_a courage_n which_o i_o need_v for_o enable_v i_o to_o dissemble_v the_o see_v it_o and_o i_o consider_v how_o those_o devil_n be_v likely_a to_o treat_v that_o soul_n when_o they_o exercise_v such_o a_o absolute_a dominion_n even_o over_o that_o woeful_a body_n and_o i_o will_v to_o christ_n that_o what_o i_o see_v have_v also_o be_v see_v by_o such_o as_o be_v in_o mortal_a sin_n for_o i_o think_v it_o must_v have_v be_v of_o much_o effect_n and_o force_n towards_o a_o make_v they_o mend_v their_o life_n now_o all_o this_o oblige_v i_o to_o know_v more_o and_o more_o what_o i_o owe_v to_o almighty_a god_n and_o from_o what_o he_o have_v deliver_v my_o soul_n but_o yet_o i_o go_v on_o with_o fear_n enough_o till_o i_o have_v impart_v these_o particular_n to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n as_o conceave_a that_o perhaps_o it_o may_v have_v be_v some_o illusion_n of_o the_o devil_n whereby_o to_o defame_v that_o soul_n though_o yet_o the_o man_n have_v not_o be_v hold_v to_o be_v of_o very_o good_a life_n but_o yet_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o whether_o it_o be_v a_o illusion_n or_o no_o i_o be_o sure_a i_o never_o remember_v it_o but_o it_o make_v i_o afraid_a and_o now_o since_o i_o have_v begin_v to_o speak_v of_o vision_n which_o have_v relation_n to_o some_o such_o person_n as_o be_v dead_a i_o will_v also_o declare_v some_o thing_n concern_v some_o other_o kind_n of_o soul_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v see_v but_o i_o will_v speak_v only_o of_o few_o both_o to_o be_v the_o short_a and_o because_o it_o will_v not_o be_v necessary_a to_o say_v much_o in_o order_n to_o the_o receive_n of_o benefit_n thereby_o they_o tell_v i_o once_o that_o a_o certain_a man_n be_v dead_a who_o have_v be_v provincial_a of_o his_o order_n but_o when_o he_o die_v he_o be_v provincial_a of_o another_o province_n now_o i_o have_v communicate_v much_o with_o this_o man_n and_o have_v be_v oblige_v to_o he_o for_o some_o good_a office_n which_o he_o have_v do_v i_o this_o man_n be_v of_o much_o &_o many_o virtue_n but_o yet_o when_o i_o come_v to_o know_v that_o he_o be_v dead_a i_o be_v great_o trouble_v at_o it_o because_o i_o be_v in_o fear_n and_o doubt_v of_o his_o salvation_n in_o regard_n that_o he_o have_v be_v a_o prelate_n or_o superior_a twenty_o year_n which_o real_o be_v a_o thing_n that_o i_o be_o apt_a to_o fear_v as_o hold_v it_o to_o be_v a_o matter_n of_o much_o danger_n to_o have_v charge_n of_o soul_n and_o so_o i_o go_v with_o trouble_n enough_o to_o a_o oratory_n and_o give_v he_o all_o that_o little_a good_a which_o i_o have_v ever_o do_v in_o my_o whole_a life_n which_o yet_o be_v little_a enough_o and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v out_o bless_v lord_n that_o he_o will_v supply_v out_o of_o his_o infinite_a merit_n for_o as_o much_o as_o that_o soul_n may_v wot_v towards_o the_o free_n itself_o out_o of_o purgatory_n and_o whilst_o i_o be_v beg_v this_o boon_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n in_o the_o best_a manner_n i_o can_v i_o think_v he_o rise_v as_o from_o some_o deep_a part_n out_o of_o the_o earth_n on_o my_o right_a side_n and_o so_o i_o see_v he_o mount-up_a to_o heaven_n with_o very_o great_a joy_n the_o man_n be_v very_o old_a before_o he_o die_v but_o yet_o now_o he_o seem_v to_o i_o to_o be_v but_o of_o thirty_o year_n old_a or_o rather_o somewhat_o less_o but_o with_o much_o brightness_n in_o his_o face_n this_o vision_n pass_v away_o very_o speedy_o but_o yet_o i_o be_v so_o extreme_o comfort_v by_o it_o that_o the_o death_n of_o that_o man_n do_v put_v i_o now_o to_o no_o more_o pain_n though_o i_o have_v trouble_v many_o other_o about_o he_o for_o he_o be_v very_o well_o belove_v and_o thus_o also_o the_o comfort_n of_o my_o soul_n be_v so_o great_a i_o can_v not_o possible_o doubt_v but_o that_o the_o vision_n be_v true_a and_o no_o illusion_n this_o happen_v but_o fifteen_o day_n after_o his_o death_n but_o still_o i_o be_v not_o slack_a in_o procure_v that_o he_o may_v be_v recommend_v to_o almighty_a god_n save_o that_o i_o can_v not_o do_v it_o so_o hearty_o as_o before_o i_o see_v this_o vision_n for_o when_o our_o lord_n show_v i_o such_o thing_n and_o that_o yet_o i_o will_v pray_v for_o they_o afterward_o i_o can_v choose_v but_o conceive_v that_o it_o be_v as_o if_o i_o give_v a_o alm_n to_o a_o rich_a man_n but_o now_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v afterward_o for_o the_o man_n die_v very_o far_o off_o that_o the_o death_n which_o our_o lord_n grant_v he_o be_v of_o so_o great_a comfort_n to_o he_o by_o the_o knowledge_n of_o himself_o and_o by_o the_o humility_n which_o he_o express_v that_o it_o be_v of_o very_o great_a edification_n now_o a_o certain_a religious_a woman_n die_v at_o home_n with_o we_o about_o a_o day_n and_o a_o half_a before_o that_o occur_v whereof_o i_o be_o go_v to_o speak_v but_o she_o have_v be_v a_o good_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o another_o religious_a woman_n read_v one_o of_o those_o lesson_n which_o belong_v to_o the_o office_n of_o the_o dead_a which_o be_v recite_v in_o the_o choir_n for_o her_o soul_n it_o be_v my_o turn_n to_o stand_v by_o and_o assist_v in_o repeat_v the_o versicle_n but_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o the_o lesson_n i_o think_v i_o see_v the_o soul_n rise_v up_o as_o the_o other_o do_v and_o so_o go_v to_o heaven_n now_o this_o be_v no_o imaginary_a vision_n like_o the_o last_o but_o like_o other_o which_o i_o recount_v before_o yet_o these_o be_v no_o less_o certain_a than_o those_o other_o be_v there_o be_v also_o another_o religious_a woman_n of_o between_o eighteen_o and_o twenty_o year_n old_a who_o die_v at_o home_n in_o our_o house_n now_o she_o have_v be_v always_o sickly_a and_o a_o great_a servant_n of_o god_n and_o very_o diligent_a in_o the_o choir_n and_o in_o fine_a a_o very_a virtuous_a woman_n and_o real_o i_o be_v apt_a to_o think_v that_o she_o shall_v not_o have_v go_v to_o purgatory_n at_o all_o but_o rather_o that_o there_o will_v have_v be_v supernumerarie_a merit_n in_o regard_n of_o the_o many_o sickness_n which_o she_o have_v endure_v but_o yet_o when_o we_o be_v recite_v the_o office_n before_o she_o be_v bury_v and_o some_o four_o hour_n after_o she_o die_v i_o understand_v that_o her_o soul_n spring_v up_o out_o of_o the_o same_o place_n and_o go_v to_o heaven_n be_v one_o day_n in_o a_o college_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n with_o those_o great_a affliction_n and_o trouble_n which_o i_o have_v declare_v myself_o sometime_o to_o have_v have_v and_o still_o have_v both_o in_o body_n and_o soul_n i_o find_v myself_o to_o be_v in_o such_o condition_n that_o i_o think_v i_o be_v not_o able_a so_o much_o as_o to_o entertain_v one_o good_a thought_n there_o die_v that_o night_n a_o brother_n of_o the_o society_n of_o that_o house_n and_o i_o recommend_v he_o the_o best_a i_o can_v to_o almighty_a god_n and_o be_v at_o the_o mass_n of_o another_o father_n of_o the_o society_n for_o his_o soul_n i_o be_v seize_v by_o a_o very_a great_a recollection_n and_o i_o see_v he_o goe-up_a to_o heaven_n with_o much_o glory_n yea_o and_o i_o understand_v that_o our_o bless_a lord_n himself_o do_v accompany_v he_o by_o way_n of_o particular_a favour_n a_o religious_a man_n of_o our_o order_n who_o be_v a_o very_a good_a man_n be_v fall_v very_o dangerous_o sick_a and_o i_o be_v then_o at_o mass_n grow_v to_o be_v in_o very_o great_a recollection_n and_o see_v that_o the_o man_n be_v dead_a and_o that_o he_o go_v instant_o to_o heaven_n without_o touch_v upon_o purgatory_n at_o all_o and_o he_o die_v in_o that_o very_a hour_n as_o i_o be_v tell_v afterward_o now_o i_o wonder_v that_o he_o have_v never_o enter_v into_o purgatory_n but_o i_o understand_v that_o he_o have_v be_v a_o religious_a man_n and_o have_v well_o observe_v the_o
i_o still_o desire_v to_o recover_v my_o health_n though_o yet_o i_o endure_v my_o sickness_n with_o great_a alacrity_n and_o i_o will_v be_v think_v and_o consider_v sometime_o that_o if_o by_o enjoy_v my_o health_n i_o may_v chance_v be_v damn_v it_o will_v be_v better_o for_o i_o to_o remain_v still_o as_o sick_a as_o i_o be_v but_o howsoever_o i_o conceive_v that_o i_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o serve_v almighty_a god_n much_o better_o if_o i_o can_v enjoy_v my_o health_n now_o this_o be_v the_o abuse_n and_o error_n which_o deceive_v we_o not_o to_o resign_v ourselves_o entire_o to_o the_o disposition_n and_o good_a pleasure_n of_o our_o lord_n who_o know_v best_a what_o be_v fit_a for_o us._n but_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o get_v many_o mass_n say_v for_o this_o purpose_n and_o i_o resort_v also_o to_o the_o use_n of_o other_o solid_a and_o approve_a prayer_n for_o i_o be_v never_o a_o friend_n of_o certain_a odd_a devotion_n which_o be_v use_v by_o diverse_a person_n and_o especial_o by_o woman_n with_o some_o odd_a ceremony_n which_o i_o can_v never_o endure_v since_o i_o understand_v that_o they_o savour_v of_o superstition_n howsoever_o other_o folk_n be_v move_v by_o they_o and_o so_o i_o take_v for_o my_o advocate_n and_o lord_n the_o glorious_a s._n joseph_n and_o i_o recommend_v myself_o much_o to_o he_o and_o i_o have_v see_v clear_o that_o this_o father_n and_o lord_n of_o i_o have_v draw_v i_o as_o well_o out_o of_o this_o necessity_n as_o out_o of_o other_o great_a when_o there_o be_v question_n of_o honour_n and_o loss_n of_o the_o soul_n and_o that_o with_o more_o benefit_n and_o advantage_n then_o even_o myself_o can_v tell_v how_o to_o desire_v nay_o i_o can_v remember_v that_o hitherto_o i_o ever_o desire_v any_o thing_n by_o his_o mean_n which_o he_o have_v fail_v to_o obtain_v for_o i_o and_o it_o be_v able_a even_o to_o amaze_v i_o when_o i_o consider_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o almighty_a god_n have_v do_v i_o by_o mean_n of_o this_o bless_a saint_n and_o the_o danger_n both_o of_o body_n and_o soul_n out_o of_o which_o he_o have_v deliver_v i_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o it_o seem_v our_o lord_n have_v give_v the_o grace_n and_o power_n to_o other_o saint_n to_o succour_v man_n in_o some_o one_o kind_n of_o necessity_n of_o they_o but_o i_o find_v by_o good_a experience_n that_o this_o glorious_a saint_n succour_v we_o in_o they_o all_o and_o that_o our_o lord_n will_v make_v we_o understand_v that_o as_o he_o will_v be_v subject_a to_o s._n joseph_n upon_o earth_n and_o that_o by_o enjoy_v the_o name_n of_o his_o father_n and_o by_o be_v as_o it_o be_v his_o director_n and_o tutor_n he_o may_v command_v he_o so_o also_o he_o will_v now_o in_o heaven_n grant_v whatsoever_o this_o saint_n shall_v desire_v this_o truth_n have_v also_o be_v see_v by_o the_o experience_n of_o other_o who_o i_o have_v desire_v to_o recommend_v themselves_o to_o this_o saint_n and_o now_o many_o be_v grow_v to_o be_v devote_a to_o he_o and_o myself_o also_o have_v fresh_a experience_n of_o this_o truth_n for_o my_o part_n i_o procure_v to_o celebrate_v his_o festivitie_n with_o all_o the_o solemnity_n i_o be_v able_a to_o use_v but_o yet_o with_o more_o vanity_n then_o true_a spirit_n desire_v that_o it_o may_v be_v perform_v with_o much_o curiosity_n and_o exactness_n though_o yet_o still_o with_o good_a intention_n but_o i_o ever_o have_v this_o of_o ill_a that_o if_o our_o lord_n enable_v i_o at_o any_o time_n to_o do_v any_o thing_n which_o be_v good_a it_o will_v be_v full_a of_o imperfection_n and_o fault_n whereas_o towards_o the_o do_v any_o thing_n amiss_o and_o for_o the_o exercise_v of_o curiosity_n and_o vanity_n i_o use_v much_o diligence_n and_o dexterity_n and_o cunning_a our_o lord_n pardon_v i_o for_o it_o and_o now_o i_o will_v fain_o persuade_v all_o the_o world_n to_o be_v devote_a to_o this_o glorious_a saint_n for_o the_o great_a experience_n which_o i_o have_v have_v of_o the_o blessing_n that_o he_o obtain_v for_o we_o of_o almighty_a god_n nay_o i_o have_v never_o know_v any_o one_o who_o be_v serious_o devote_a to_o he_o and_o perform_v he_o particular_a service_n who_o i_o find_v not_o also_o to_o go_v proceed_v on_o in_o virtue_n for_o real_o he_o assist_v those_o soul_n much_o which_o recommend_v themselves_o to_o he_o and_o to_o my_o best_a remembrance_n there_o be_v diverse_a year_n wherein_o i_o have_v desire_v somewhat_o of_o he_o upon_o his_o festival_n day_n and_o i_o have_v ever_o find_v it_o grant_v and_o if_o peradventure_o my_o petition_n have_v some_o little_a of_o the_o indirect_a belong_v to_o it_o he_o redress_v it_o and_o set_v it_o straight_o for_o my_o great_a good_a if_o i_o be_v any_o such_o person_n as_o have_v authority_n to_o write_v i_o will_v glad_o enlarge_v myself_o here_o to_o make_v particular_a relation_n of_o the_o favour_n which_o this_o glorious_a saint_n have_v obtain_v both_o for_o i_o and_o other_o but_o to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v do_v no_o more_o than_o i_o be_o command_v i_o must_v be_v short_a in_o many_o thing_n than_o i_o will_v and_o more_o large_a in_o other_o then_o be_v needful_a like_o one_o in_o fine_a who_o have_v little_a discretion_n for_o the_o do_v of_o any_o thing_n which_o be_v good_a only_o i_o beg_v for_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n that_o whosoever_o can_v believe_v i_o will_v try_v the_o truth_n of_o what_o i_o say_v for_o he_o shall_v find_v by_o experience_n how_o great_o a_o good_a thing_n it_o be_v to_o recommend_v himself_o to_o this_o glorious_a patriarch_n and_o to_o be_v devote_a to_o he_o especial_o such_o as_o give_v themselves_o to_o prayer_n shall_v always_o be_v affectionate_a to_o this_o saint_n for_o i_o know_v not_o how_o one_o can_v think_v of_o the_o queen_n of_o the_o angel_n at_o those_o time_n when_o she_o suffer_v so_o much_o during_o the_o infancy_n of_o our_o lord_n jesus_n and_o not_o give_v thanks_n to_o s._n joseph_n for_o the_o great_a assistance_n which_o he_o give_v they_o at_o that_o time_n whosoever_o want_v a_o master_n who_o may_v instruct_v he_o to_o pray_v let_v he_o take_v this_o glorious_a saint_n for_o his_o guide_n and_o he_o shall_v never_o loose_v his_o way_n i_o beseech_v our_o lord_n that_o i_o may_v have_v commit_v no_o error_n in_o presume_v to_o speak_v of_o this_o saint_n for_o though_o i_o thus_o profess_v and_o publish_v myself_o to_o be_v devote_a to_o he_o yet_o have_v i_o be_v ever_o faulty_a in_o the_o not_o do_v he_o real_a service_n and_o in_o not_o imitate_v his_o virtue_n but_o now_o he_o do_v like_o himself_o by_o procure_v that_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o rise_v and_o walk_v and_o be_v no_o long_o a_o cripple_n and_o so_o i_o do_v also_o like_o myself_o in_o make_v so_o ill_o use_v of_o this_o favour_n but_o now_o who_o will_v ever_o have_v imagine_v that_o i_o can_v so_o soon_o fall_v back_o again_o after_o my_o receive_n so_o many_o regalo_n at_o the_o hand_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o after_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v vouchsafe_v to_o give_v i_o some_o virtue_n which_o even_o as_o it_o be_v of_o themselves_o do_v awake_a and_o stir_v i_o up_o to_o his_o service_n and_o after_o i_o have_v see_v myself_o even_o as_o it_o be_v dead_a and_o in_o so_o imminent_a danger_n to_o be_v condemn_v to_o hell_n and_o after_o he_o have_v raise_v i_o again_o both_o in_o body_n and_o soul_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o all_o they_o who_o see_v i_o be_v even_o amaze_v to_o find_v that_o i_o can_v so_o long_o be_v alive_a but_o what_o be_v this_o o_o my_o lord_n and_o my_o god_n be_v this_o life_n to_o be_v still_o so_o dangerous_a which_o we_o be_v to_o live_v even_o now_o whilst_o i_o be_o write_v this_o i_o think_v that_o by_o this_o favour_n and_o mercy_n i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o say_v with_o s._n paul_n though_o yet_o not_o with_o such_o perfection_n as_o he_o say_v it_o that_o now_o it_o be_v not_o i_o who_o live_v but_o thou_o o_o my_o creator_n who_o live_v in_o i_o according_a to_o the_o experience_n which_o i_o have_v have_v some_o year_n by_o that_o little_a which_o i_o be_o able_a to_o understand_v of_o myself_o and_o still_o thou_o hold_v and_o keep_v thy_o hand_n over_o i_o and_o i_o find_v myself_o full_a of_o desire_n and_o good_a purpose_n and_o in_o some_o sort_n i_o have_v prove_v also_o even_o by_o experience_n of_o many_o thing_n in_o these_o late_a year_n that_o i_o will_v by_o no_o mean_n do_v any_o thing_n which_o shall_v contradict_v or_o cross_v thy_o will_n how_o little_a soever_o it_o may_v be_v though_o yet_o i_o well_o believe_v that_o i_o
of_o quiet_a prayer_n she_o treat_v how_o many_o soul_n come_v to_o arrive_v to_o this_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o that_o few_o pass_v beyond_o it_o the_o particular_n which_o be_v touch_v here_o be_v not_o only_o very_o profitable_a but_o very_o necessary_a let_v we_o now_o return_v to_o our_o purpose_n this_o quietness_n and_o recollection_n of_o the_o soul_n be_v easy_o perceive_v by_o the_o satisfaction_n and_o peace_n which_o be_v infuse_v into_o she_o with_o a_o very_a great_a contentment_n and_o calmness_n of_o the_o power_n of_o the_o say_a soul_n together_o with_o a_o very_a great_a delight_n and_o now_o it_o seem_v to_o she_o because_o she_o be_v not_o come_v yet_o any_o further_a that_o already_o she_o have_v nothing_o leave_v to_o desire_v and_o that_o with_o a_o very_a good_a will_n she_o can_v make_v the_o same_o suit_n with_o s._n peter_n that_o her_o abode_n may_v be_v ever_o there_o she_o dare_v not_o stir_v or_o move_v nay_o she_o will_v hardly_o give_v herself_o leave_n so_o much_o as_o to_o take_v her_o breath_n for_o fear_n lest_o so_o that_o good_a shall_v be_v fly_v away_o out_o of_o her_o hand_n and_o the_o while_n the_o poor_a little_a soul_n understand_v not_o that_o as_o by_o her_o own_o power_n she_o can_v do_v nothing_o for_o the_o draw_v of_o that_o good_a to_o herself_o so_o be_v she_o of_o less_o ability_n to_o detain_v it_o there_o any_o long_a than_o our_o lord_n shall_v be_v please_v to_o grant_v it_o i_o have_v already_o declare_v that_o in_o this_o first_o recollection_n and_o quiet_v the_o power_n and_o faculty_n of_o the_o soul_n be_v not_o want_v but_o yet_o she_o be_v so_o full_o satisfy_v with_o god_n that_o as_o long_o as_o this_o occasion_n last_v howsoever_o those_o two_o other_o power_n may_v discompose_v themselves_o yet_o the_o will_n remain_v unite_v with_o almighty_a god_n that_o quiet_v and_o calm_a rest_n be_v not_o lose_v but_o rather_o by_o little_a and_o little_a the_o will_v again_o recover_v and_o recollect_n the_o understanding_n and_o memory_n for_o howsoever_o the_o say_v will_v be_v not_o yet_o total_o ingulf_v yet_o be_v she_o so_o employ_v without_o know_v how_o that_o how_o diligent_a soever_o they_o be_v they_o know_v not_o how_o to_o deprive_v she_o of_o her_o contentment_n and_o joy_n but_o rather_o she_o go_v help_v herself_o without_o any_o trouble_n at_o all_o of_o her_o own_o to_o the_o end_n that_o this_o little_a spark_n of_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n may_v not_o be_v quench_v in_o she_o i_o beseech_v our_o lord_n to_o allow_v i_o grace_n that_o i_o may_v give_v this_o to_o be_v well_o understand_v for_o there_o be_v many_o and_o very_o many_o soul_n which_o arrive_v to_o be_v in_o this_o degree_n or_o state_n and_o few_o which_o get_v beyond_o it_o and_o i_o know_v not_o who_o may_v be_v in_o fault_n thereof_o only_o i_o be_o sure_a enough_o that_o there_o be_v none_o in_o almighty_a god_n for_o since_o his_o divine_a majesty_n do_v a_o soul_n the_o favour_n that_o she_o may_v be_v able_a to_o arrive_v to_o this_o point_n i_o can_v believe_v that_o he_o will_v cease_v to_o carry_v she_o much_o further_o if_o it_o be_v not_o for_o some_o fault_n of_o her_o own_o but_o now_o it_o import_v the_o same_o soul_n very_o much_o that_o when_o she_o arrive_v thus_o far_o she_o may_v well_o understand_v the_o great_a dignity_n wherein_o she_o be_v and_o the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v she_o and_o how_o in_o all_o good_a reason_n she_o be_v no_o long_o to_o be_v as_o of_o the_o earth_n because_o it_o seem_v now_o already_o that_o his_o goodness_n make_v she_o a_o inhabitant_n of_o heaven_n if_o it_o be_v not_o her_o fault_n and_o wretched_a shall_v she_o be_v if_o she_o turn_v back_o and_o i_o believe_v it_o will_v be_v then_o to_o go_v down_o low_a enough_o whither_o i_o be_v go_v if_o the_o mercy_n of_o our_o lord_n have_v not_o make_v i_o turn_v yet_o back_o again_o for_o the_o most_o part_n in_o my_o opinion_n they_o give_v over_o for_o very_o grievous_a fault_n of_o their_o own_o nor_o be_v it_o possible_a for_o any_o creature_n to_o quit_v so_o great_a a_o good_a without_o the_o note_n blindness_n of_o be_v subject_a to_o commit_v some_o very_a great_a ill_n and_o therefore_o i_o humble_o beseech_v those_o soul_n even_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n to_o who_o his_o majesty_n have_v do_v so_o great_a a_o favour_n as_o to_o make_v they_o able_a to_o reach_v this_o degree_n and_o state_n that_o they_o will_v know_v themselves_o yea_o and_o that_o they_o will_v hold_v themselves_o in_o great_a account_n with_o a_o humble_a and_o holy_a presumption_n that_o so_o they_o may_v never_o return_v again_o to_o the_o flesh-potts_n of_o egypt_n and_o yet_o that_o if_o through_o their_o weakness_n and_o wickedness_n and_o through_o their_o naughty_a and_o miserable_a condition_n they_o shall_v chance_v to_o fall_v back_o as_o i_o do_v they_o will_v ever_o be_v yet_o represent_v to_o themselves_o the_o great_a good_a which_o they_o have_v lose_v and_o that_o also_o they_o will_v grow_v into_o suspicion_n of_o themselves_o and_o walk_v along_o with_o fear_n as_o they_o have_v real_o great_a cause_n to_o be_v afraid_a and_o if_o they_o return_v not_o to_o prayer_n they_o will_v be_v sure_a to_o go_v from_o bad_a to_o worse_a for_o this_o note_n indeed_o do_v i_o call_v a_o true_a fall_n when_o one_o come_v once_o to_o abhor_v that_o very_a way_n whereby_o they_o purchase_v so_o great_a a_o good_a and_o it_o be_v with_o such_o soul_n that_o i_o be_o speak_v now_o for_o i_o say_v not_o that_o soul_n will_v never_o offend_v god_n nor_o that_o they_o will_v never_o commit_v any_o sin_n though_o yet_o still_o it_o be_v but_o reason_n that_o whosoever_o have_v begin_v to_o receive_v such_o favour_n as_o these_o shall_v be_v very_o careful_a to_o keep_v themselves_o from_o commit_v any_o but_o in_o fine_a we_o be_v miserable_a creature_n and_o that_o which_o i_o advise_v very_o earnest_o be_v that_o they_o will_v not_o give-ove_a their_o prayer_n for_o there_o shall_v they_o come_v to_o know_v what_o they_o be_v do_v and_o there_o shall_v they_o gain_v sorrow_n for_o have_v leave_v our_o lord_n and_o strength_n to_o rise_v again_o and_o let_v that_o soul_n believe_v and_o let_v she_o do_v it_o home_n that_o if_o she_o depart_v from_o prayer_n she_o grow_v in_o my_o opinion_n to_o run_v great_a hazard_n i_o know_v not_o whether_o i_o hit_v right_a in_o what_o i_o say_v but_o at_o least_o i_o judge_v of_o other_o by_o myself_o but_o now_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n this_o kind_n of_o prayer_n be_v a_o certain_a spark_n of_o the_o fire_n of_o that_o true_a love_n which_o our_o lord_n begin_v to_o kindle_v in_o a_o soul_n and_o his_o pleasure_n also_o be_v that_o the_o same_o soul_n shall_v go_v understanding_n what_o kind_n of_o thing_n this_o love_n be_v and_o what_o kind_n of_o great_a regalo_n and_o delight_n it_o bring_v this_o quiet_a and_o recollection_n 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when_o we_o get_v thither_o it_o be_v also_o here_o obtain_v that_o with_o case_n we_o may_v grow_v able_a to_o consider_v heavenly_a thing_n that_o so_o our_o conversation_n may_v be_v there_o and_o this_o be_v a_o great_a kind_n of_o gain_n since_o the_o only_o think_v of_o heaven_n recollect_n the_o soul_n in_o regard_n that_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v we_o somewhat_o which_o pass_v there_o we_o be_v induce_v to_o pause_v and_o think_v upon_o it_o and_o sometime_o it_o so_o fall_v out_o that_o they_o who_o i_o know_v to_o live_v there_o be_v the_o soul_n who_o accompany_v i_o and_o in_o who_o i_o receive_v most_o comfort_n and_o these_o indeed_o be_v they_o who_o seem_v to_o be_v true_o alive_a and_o those_o other_o on_o the_o other_o side_n who_o live_v here_o seem_v to_o be_v so_o very_o deadly_a dead_a as_o that_o this_o whole_a world_n put_v together_o can_v amount_v to_o be_v any_o company_n at_o all_o for_o i_o and_o especial_o when_o i_o find_v any_o of_o these_o impulse_n or_o impetuosity_n in_o myself_o the_o whole_a world_n seem_v to_o be_v but_o a_o very_a dream_n and_o all_o the_o object_n of_o these_o corporeal_a eye_n of_o i_o a_o mere_a jest_n and_o toy_n but_o that_o which_o already_o i_o have_v see_v with_o the_o eye_n of_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o say_v be_v the_o thing_n which_o she_o desire_v and_o because_o she_o find_v herself_o to_o be_v yet_o far_o off_o from_o thence_o this_o be_v that_o which_o be_v no_o less_o than_o even_o death_n itself_o to_o my_o soul_n in_o fine_a the_o favour_n be_v excessive_o great_a which_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o that_o soul_n to_o who_o he_o give_v such_o vision_n as_o these_o for_o they_o help_v she_o much_o in_o all_o thing_n and_o particular_o to_o the_o carry_v of_o a_o certain_a heavy_a cross_n which_o lie_v upon_o she_o for_o nothing_o can_v satisfy_v she_o now_o but_o every_o thing_n disgust_n and_o check_v she_o and_o if_o our_o bless_a lord_n do_v not_o give_v way_n that_o we_o may_v forget_v it_o sometime_o though_o yet_o we_o remember_v it_o again_o afterward_o i_o know_v not_o how_o we_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o live_v let_v he_o be_v bless_v and_o praise_v for_o all_o eternity_n and_o i_o humble_o beg_v of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n even_o by_o that_o very_a precious_a blood_n which_o his_o own_o son_n shed_v for_o i_o that_o since_o he_o have_v vouchsafe_v that_o i_o shall_v understand_v somewhat_o of_o these_o benefit_n and_o blessing_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v begin_v to_o enjoy_v they_o also_o in_o some_o kind_n even_o in_o this_o life_n it_o
have_v begin_v to_o obey_v she_o also_o declare_v for_o how_o little_a purpose_n it_o serve_v to_o resist_v the_o favour_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o how_o his_o divine_a majesty_n go_v daily_o impart_v they_o to_o she_o after_o a_o more_o complete_a manner_n chap._n 25._o she_o treat_v here_o of_o the_o way_n and_o manner_n of_o understand_v those_o word_n or_o speech_n which_o almighty_a god_n be_v please_v to_o utter_v to_o the_o soul_n though_o yet_o without_o hear_v any_o voice_n or_o sound_n and_o of_o some_o error_n or_o abuse_n which_o may_v happen_v herein_o and_o how_o the_o right_a may_v be_v know_v from_o the_o wrong_n it_o be_v of_o much_o use_n and_o profit_n for_o such_o as_o see_v themselves_o in_o this_o degree_n of_o prayer_n for_o it_o be_v declare_v very_o well_o and_o the_o doctrine_n contain_v great_a instruction_n 26._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o discourse_n and_o go_v relate_v and_o declare_v such_o thing_n as_o happen_v to_o she_o which_o make_v she_o to_o loose_a fear_n and_o to_o be_v strengthen_v in_o a_o belief_n that_o it_o be_v a_o good_a spirit_n which_o speak_v to_o she_o 27._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o another_o way_n how_o our_o lord_n instruct_v a_o soul_n and_o give_v she_o to_o understand_v his_o will_n after_o a_o very_a admirable_a manner_n without_o any_o speech_n at_o all_o she_o also_o declare_v a_o certain_a vision_n and_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n show_v she_o and_o this_o vision_n be_v not_o imaginary_a this_o chaepter_n be_v very_o much_o to_o be_v note_v 28._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n do_v she_o and_o how_o he_o appear_v to_o she_o the_o first_o time_n she_o declare_v that_o it_o be_v a_o vision_n which_o show_v itself_o by_o way_n of_o the_o imagination_n and_o discover_v the_o great_a effect_n and_o testimony_n which_o such_o thing_n leave_v in_o the_o soul_n when_o they_o be_v of_o almighty_a god_n this_o chapter_n be_v of_o great_a instruction_n and_o deserve_v to_o be_v note_v much_o 29._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o discourse_n which_o she_o have_v begin_v and_o relate_v some_o high_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v she_o and_o what_o his_o divine_a majesty_n do_v further_o for_o the_o secure_n and_o encourage_a her_o mind_n and_o for_o the_o enable_v she_o to_o answer_n her_o contradictour_n 30._o chap._n she_o return_v to_o recount_v the_o course_n of_o her_o life_n and_o how_o our_o lord_n give_v remedy_n to_o many_o of_o her_o trouble_n by_o bring_v that_o holy_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n of_o the_o order_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n francis_n to_o the_o place_n where_o she_o be_v and_o she_o declare_v the_o great_a temptation_n and_o inward_a trouble_n which_o sometime_o she_o endure_v 31_o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o certain_a exterior_a temptation_n and_o representation_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o of_o the_o torment_n which_o he_o give_v she_o she_o speak_v also_o of_o other_o thing_n which_o be_v very_o fit_a for_o the_o advice_n and_o instruction_n of_o such_o person_n as_o be_v walk_v on_o in_o the_o way_n of_o perfection_n 32._o chap._n she_o treat_v how_o it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o put_v she_o in_o spirit_n into_o a_o place_n of_o hell_n which_o she_o say_v she_o have_v deserve_v for_o her_o sin_n she_o relate_v what_o be_v represent_v to_o she_o there_o which_o be_v but_o a_o kind_n of_o shadow_n of_o such_o thing_n as_o be_v suffer_v in_o that_o place_n she_o begin_v also_o to_o declare_v the_o way_n and_o manner_n how_o that_o monastery_n be_v found_v in_o auila_n under_o the_o name_n of_o s._n joseph_n 33._o chap._n she_o proceed_v in_o the_o same_o subject_n of_o the_o foundation_n of_o the_o monastery_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n joseph_n she_o declare_v how_o she_o be_v command_v to_o attend_v to_o that_o business_n and_o of_o the_o time_n when_o she_o forbear_v to_o follow_v it_o and_o of_o some_o trouble_n which_o she_o have_v and_o how_o she_o be_v comfort_v in_o they_o by_o our_o bless_a lord_n chap._n 34._o she_o declare_v how_o at_o this_o time_n she_o be_v necessary_o to_o go_v from_o that_o place_n and_o she_o show_v the_o cause_n thereof_o and_o how_o her_o superior_a command_v she_o to_o go_v for_o the_o comfort_n of_o a_o certain_a lady_n who_o be_v much_o afflict_v she_o begin_v to_o treat_v of_o that_o which_o happen_v to_o she_o there_o and_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n which_o it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o do_v by_o her_o mean_n in_o stirring-up_a a_o very_a principal_a person_n to_o do_v he_o very_o great_a service_n and_o how_o afterward_o she_o receive_v much_o favour_n and_o protection_n from_o he_o this_o be_v a_o admirable_a discourse_n and_o very_o much_o to_o be_v note_v 35._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o subject_n about_o the_o foundation_n of_o this_o house_n of_o our_o glorious_a father_n s._n joseph_n she_o speak_v of_o the_o degree_n by_o which_o our_o lord_n come_v to_o appoint_v that_o holy_a poverty_n shall_v be_v ordain_v there_o and_o of_o the_o cause_n why_o she_o come_v from_o that_o lady_n with_o who_o she_o be_v and_o of_o other_o thing_n also_o which_o succeed_v 36._o chap._n she_o prosecute_v the_o subject_n which_o she_o have_v begunn_v and_o declare_v the_o final_a conclusion_n of_o this_o monastery_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n joseph_n of_o auila_n and_o of_o the_o great_a contradiction_n and_o persecution_n which_o the_o religious_a woman_n be_v put_v to_o suffer_v even_o after_o they_o have_v take_v the_o habit_n and_o of_o the_o many_o trouble_n and_o temptation_n which_o she_o be_v fain_o to_o undergo_v and_o how_o his_o divine_a majesty_n draw_v she_o out_o of_o all_o with_o victory_n to_o his_o own_o praise_n and_o glory_n 37._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o the_o effect_n which_o use_v to_o remain_v in_o her_o soul_n when_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v she_o any_o favour_n and_o she_o accompany_v this_o discourse_n with_o very_o profitable_a doctrine_n she_o declare_v also_o how_o we_o be_v to_o procure_v and_o great_o esteem_v the_o gain_n of_o one_o degree_n of_o glory_n more_o and_o how_o we_o must_v not_o for_o any_o trouble_n or_o pain_n forsake_v those_o benefit_n &_o blessing_n which_o be_v everlasting_a 38._o chap._n she_o treat_v of_o some_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v she_o as_o well_o in_o acquaint_v she_o with_o certain_a secret_n of_o heaven_n as_o by_o give_v she_o other_o great_a vision_n and_o revelation_n she_o declare_v also_o the_o effect_n which_o they_o leave_v in_o her_o soul_n and_o the_o great_a benefit_n which_o she_o obtain_v by_o they_o 39_o chap._n she_o proceed_v in_o the_o same_o subject_n of_o show_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v she_o and_o she_o declare_v how_o he_o be_v please_v to_o promise_v his_o favour_n to_o they_o for_o who_o she_o shall_v beg_v it_o and_o she_o relate_v some_o important_a particular_n wherein_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v do_v her_o extraordinary_a favour_n of_o this_o kind_n 40._o chap._n she_o proceed_v in_o the_o same_o discourse_n by_o relate_v the_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n show_v she_o whereby_o good_a instruction_n be_v to_o be_v get_v and_o with_o the_o end_n of_o this_o chapter_n she_o end_v also_o the_o discourse_n of_o her_o life_n 41._o a_o letter_n write_v by_o the_o glorious_a s._n teresa_n which_o she_o send_v together_o with_o the_o book_n to_o her_o ghostly_a father_n approbatio_fw-la haec_fw-la vita_fw-la s._n teresae_fw-la primùm_fw-la hispanico_fw-la sermone_fw-la à _fw-la se_fw-la conscripta_fw-la &_o postea_fw-la taliter_fw-la edita_fw-la nunc_fw-la verò_fw-la felicissimè_fw-la anglicè_fw-la reddita_fw-la per_fw-la ill_n m_o virum_fw-la m._n t._n iussu_fw-la r_o mi_fw-mi antuerpiensis_n à _fw-la i_o attentè_fw-fr perlecta_fw-la fuit_fw-la &_o in_o eadem_fw-la nihil_fw-la dum_fw-la reperi_fw-la vel_fw-la contra_fw-la fidem_fw-la vel_fw-la quod_fw-la possit_fw-la meo_fw-la iudicio_fw-la pias_fw-la &_o christianas_n aures_fw-la offendere_fw-la imò_fw-la cum_fw-la amorem_fw-la eius_fw-la seraphicum_fw-la undique_fw-la lucentem_fw-la ac_fw-la inflammantem_fw-la lector_fw-la experiatur_fw-la censeo_fw-la dignissimam_fw-la ut_fw-la in_o communem_fw-la etiam_fw-la catholicorum_n anglorum_fw-la utilitatem_fw-la imprimatur_fw-la antuerpiae_fw-la 5._o augusti_fw-la m._n dc_o xlii_o richardus_n wake_v i._n v._o l._n cap._n 4._o cap._n 5._o cap._n 2._o cap._n 8._o cap._n 7._o cap._n 6._o cap._n 22._o 22._o note_v this_o great_a &_o most_o certain_a truth_n truth_n many_o use_v to_o repeat_v the_o creed_n in_o the_o presence_n and_o as_o in_o the_o person_n of_o such_o as_o be_v near_o expire_a by_o way_n of_o fortefy_v they_o at_o that_o time_n against_o the_o temptation_n of_o the_o devil_n devil_n when_o person_n be_v near_o expire_a attendant_n use_v to_o be_v very_o
the_o flame_v hart_n or_o the_o life_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n teresa_n foundress_n of_o the_o reformation_n of_o the_o order_n of_o the_o all-immaculate_a virgin-mother_n our_o b._n lady_n of_o mount-carmel_n this_o history_n of_o her_o life_n be_v write_v by_o the_o saint_n herself_o in_o spanish_a and_o be_v new_o now_o translate_v into_o english_a in_o the_o year_n of_o our_o lord_n god_n 1642._o aut_fw-la mori_fw-la aut_fw-la pati_fw-la either_o to_o die_v or_o else_o to_o suffer_v chap._n 40._o antwerp_n print_v by_o johannes_n meursius_n anno_fw-la m._n dc_o xlii_o to_o the_o incomparable_a sovereign_a princess_n henrietta-maria_a of_o france_z qveen_n of_o great_a britain_n france_n and_o irland_n madam_n i_o presume_v not_o now_o to_o approach_v to_o your_o majesty_n presence_n with_o design_n to_o beg_v your_o favour_n though_o this_o use_v to_o be_v the_o case_n of_o every_o creature_n but_o to_o pay_v your_o majesty_n a_o service_n and_o that_o a_o great_a one_o for_o the_o many_o princely_a benefit_n which_o i_o have_v receive_v already_o from_o your_o gracious_a hand_n for_o here_o i_o come_v to_o offer_v your_o majesty_n a_o mean_n of_o magnify_v your_o own_o natural_a greatness_n by_o your_o avow_a &_o protect_a and_o enlarge_v the_o glory_n of_o a_o incomparable_a saint_n s._n teresa_n to_o who_o as_o i_o have_v well_o understand_v that_o already_o you_o carry_v a_o extraordinary_a devotion_n and_o not_o only_a devotion_n to_o herself_o but_o affection_n also_o to_o the_o holy_a religious_a woman_n of_o her_o angelical_a order_n whereof_o the_o english_a nation_n which_o now_o enjoy_v the_o honour_n to_o be_v also_o you_o have_v a_o monastery_n at_o antwerp_n which_o need_v not_o perhaps_o be_v ashamed_a to_o appear_v near_o any_o other_o of_o the_o whole_a world_n whether_o it_o be_v for_o their_o great_a &_o entire_a contentment_n in_o recollection_n their_o insatiable_a yet_o most_o delightful_a thirst_n after_o perfection_n &_o union_n with_o our_o bless_a lord_n or_o the_o everlasting_a feast_n of_o joy_n &_o jubily_n which_o they_o solemnize_v both_o in_o the_o hearty_a &_o high_a respect_n which_o they_o carry_v to_o their_o reverend_a mother_n superior_a and_o their_o true_a &_o most_o tender_a love_n to_o one_o another_o so_o it_o will_v not_o be_v unworthy_a either_o of_o your_o own_o greatness_n or_o goodness_n that_o when_o there_o be_v question_n of_o consider_v the_o virtue_n &_o perfection_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n teresa_n and_o the_o celebrate_v her_o praise_n and_o the_o study_v her_o life_n i_o mean_v that_o life_n of_o she_o which_o she_o write_v with_o that_o most_o holy_a &_o wise_a hand_n of_o she_o own_o which_o i_o here_o present_a your_o majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o march_v at_o the_o very_a head_n of_o that_o whole_a troop_n which_o may_v address_v itself_o to_o the_o imitation_n of_o her_o heroical_a action_n and_o to_o the_o admiration_n of_o those_o incomparable_a grace_n and_o favour_n which_o the_o god_n of_o heaven_n and_o earth_n think_v fit_a to_o infuse_v with_o his_o enamour_a hart_n and_o omnipotent_a hand_n into_o that_o most_o happy_a soul_n for_o who_o can_v ever_o be_v more_o fit_a to_o patronize_v so_o great_a a_o saint_n as_o she_o be_v than_o so_o great_a a_o queen_n as_o your_o majesty_n who_o beside_o your_o birth_n and_o renown_n whereof_o to_o speak_v after_o the_o manner_n of_o man_n you_o have_v so_o much_o occasion_n to_o brag_v have_v also_o in_o order_n to_o heaven_n show_v such_o constancy_n in_o the_o way_n of_o religion_n and_o piety_n as_o may_v just_o all_o thing_n consider_v give_v cause_n to_o the_o rest_n of_o your_o own_o most_o eminent_a rank_n at_o least_o to_o shrink_v if_o not_o to_o blush_v for_o myself_o to_o beg_v your_o majesty_n pardon_n for_o this_o appearance_n of_o presumption_n be_v now_o to_o acknowledge_v some_o such_o fault_n as_o whereof_o i_o acquit_v myself_o before_o i_o will_v therefore_o rather_o by_o this_o mean_n hope_v to_o obtain_v a_o suit_n for_o this_o service_n yea_o and_o that_o of_o the_o most_o savoury_a kind_n of_o all_o other_o &_o it_o be_v that_o you_o will_v vouchsafe_v to_o employ_v the_o sacrifice_n of_o my_o whole_a life_n in_o obedience_n to_o any_o of_o your_o majesty_n least_o command_n god_n make_v &_o keep_v your_o majesty_n as_o healthy_a &_o as_o happy_a as_o this_o world_n can_v tell_v how_o to_o wish_v yea_o and_o as_o the_o other_o can_v tell_v how_o to_o grant_v &_o i_o most_o humble_o ask_v leave_n to_o do_v your_o majesty_n all_o reverence_n at_o your_o royal_a foot_n your_o majesty_n most_o humble_a most_o obedient_a most_o devote_a &_o most_o oblige_a servant_n m._n t._n a_o word_n of_o advertisement_n to_o the_o reader_n to_o the_o end_n that_o the_o reader_n be_v judgement_n may_v be_v keep_v from_o any_o considerable_a error_n concern_v the_o person_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n teresa_n he_o be_v humble_o and_o earnest_o desire_v to_o read_v the_o preface_n before_o he_o read_v the_o book_n and_o especial_o that_o part_n thereof_o which_o occurr_v between_v that_o §_o which_o begin_v with_o these_o follow_a word_n for_o she_o will_v tell_v you_o etc._n etc._n and_o that_o other_o which_o begin_v but_o now_o it_o will_v come_v fit_o in_o etc._n etc._n he_o may_v also_o be_v please_v to_o excuse_v the_o few_o fault_n which_o shall_v be_v find_v in_o the_o print_n the_o rather_o because_o it_o be_v perform_v both_o in_o a_o strange_a country_n and_o by_o stranger_n the_o preface_n of_o the_o translator_n to_o the_o christian_a and_o civil_a reader_n i_o be_v move_v and_o who_o will_v not_o be_v move_v by_o the_o reverend_a mother_n superior_a of_o the_o english_a teresian-carmelites_n at_o ant_n werpe_fw-mi &_o the_o rest_n of_o that_o holy_a assembly_n to_o translate_v out_o of_o spanish_a into_o english_a the_o life_n of_o the_o admirable_a and_o bless_a woman_n s._n teresa_n their_o holy_a mother_n and_o i_o who_o excellency_n and_o perfection_n it_o be_v hard_a for_o any_o pen_n to_o express_v and_o few_o heart_n even_o of_o the_o most_o refine_a and_o raise_v can_v full_o understand_v and_o comprehend_v for_o though_o it_o be_v translate_v long_o ago_o by_o a_o eminent_a and_o worthy_a man_n of_o our_o nation_n in_o the_o great_a devotion_n which_o he_o carry_v to_o his_o excellent_a saint_n yet_o he_o have_v live_v so_o very_o long_o out_o of_o his_o countâ—â—_n and_o have_v attend_v in_o so_o serious_a a_o manner_n to_o the_o acquire_v of_o perfection_n and_o knowledge_n in_o order_n to_o the_o conversion_n of_o soul_n that_o on_o the_o one_o side_n he_o seem_v to_o have_v lose_v a_o little_a of_o the_o purity_n of_o his_o own_o english_a tongue_n and_o on_o the_o other_o not_o to_o have_v acquire_v enough_o of_o the_o spanish_a and_o consequent_o not_o to_o have_v be_v able_a to_o perform_v the_o work_n so_o exact_o as_o he_o desire_v since_o such_o a_o book_n as_o be_v so_o sublime_o conceive_v by_o 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confess_v i_o wonder_v that_o some_o such_o review_v and_o reformation_n concern_v a_o public_a work_n so_o much_o import_v the_o glory_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o the_o honour_n of_o so_o eminent_a a_o saint_n can_v be_v forbear_v so_o long_o but_o even_o that_o very_a conceit_n and_o consideration_n do_v help_v to_o clap_v the_o spur_n into_o my_o side_n towards_o a_o run_n through_o this_o course_n and_o carreire_n with_o all_o the_o care_n &_o speed_n which_o i_o can_v possible_o use_v and_o herein_o though_o my_o ability_n be_v small_a yet_o my_o attention_n grow_v to_o be_v great_a and_o so_o i_o consider_v several_a copy_n and_o take_v also_o many_o opinion_n and_o yet_o find_v that_o all_o my_o diligence_n be_v few_o enough_o towards_o the_o discharge_n of_o the_o multitude_n of_o doubt_n and_o difficultye_n which_o occur_v partly_o through_o the_o
have_v a_o mind_n to_o be_v most_o particular_o serve_v and_o glorify_v by_o it_o and_o that_o the_o soul_n which_o will_v consecrate_v themselves_o to_o he_o therein_o may_v prove_v to_o be_v holy_a and_o happy_a in_o a_o very_a eminent_a degree_n as_o long_o as_o they_o will_v continue_v attentive_a and_o careful_a not_o to_o swerve_v from_o that_o spirit_n which_o be_v derive_v to_o they_o from_o heaven_n through_o s._n teresa_n by_o her_o prayer_n and_o tear_n and_o other_o holy_a mean_n which_o spirit_n of_o she_o though_o it_o evident_o appear_v both_o by_o the_o exercise_n and_o example_n of_o all_o heroical_a virtue_n yet_o particular_o it_o seem_v to_o aim_v and_o point_n at_o the_o regular_a and_o constant_a use_n of_o recollection_n &_o mental_a prayer_n whereof_o she_o speak_v often_o and_o with_o most_o particular_a desire_n and_o care_n and_o appoint_v two_o hour_n to_o be_v employ_v every_o day_n therein_o beside_o all_o other_o devotion_n of_o any_o kind_n which_o be_v practise_v by_o all_o her_o holy_a religious_a and_o be_v real_o that_o time_n which_o give_v they_o more_o abundant_a joy_n than_o all_o the_o rest_n and_o indeed_o she_o take_v many_o occasion_n not_o only_o to_o recommend_v it_o earnest_o to_o the_o child_n and_o successor_n of_o her_o own_o order_n but_o exhort_v also_o all_o creature_n who_o will_v have_v the_o happiness_n to_o be_v the_o true_a servant_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n to_o take_v fast_o hold_v by_o this_o anchor_n in_o their_o navigation_n through_o the_o sea_n of_o this_o world_n in_o which_o sea_n not_o only_o they_o who_o be_v best_a ship_v but_o even_o such_o other_o also_o as_o have_v be_v cast_v over_o board_n from_o grace_n into_o the_o storm_n and_o tempest_n of_o a_o sinful_a life_n may_v yet_o by_o mean_n of_o prayer_n prove_v able_a yea_o and_o moral_o certain_a through_o the_o mercy_n of_o almighty_a god_n to_o recover_v the_o assure_a port_n of_o salvation_n for_o in_o the_o judgement_n of_o this_o 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it_o be_v the_o holy_a will_n of_o our_o b._n lord_n and_o because_o he_o have_v make_v it_o the_o mean_n whereby_o she_o may_v obtain_v the_o pardon_n of_o her_o sin_n and_o acquire_v all_o christian_a virtue_n through_o increase_n of_o grace_n and_o pay_v both_o frequent_a &_o ardent_a act_n of_o homage_n &_o grief_n &_o love_n to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n &_o procure_v a_o imitation_n of_o those_o heroical_a virtue_n which_o he_o be_v please_v to_o express_v in_o his_o bitter_a passion_n and_o above_o all_o thing_n the_o saint_n require_v we_o to_o take_v heed_n of_o have_v any_o mercenary_a respect_n at_o all_o to_o receive_v gust_n &_o spiritual_a delight_n or_o other_o high_a favour_n from_o he_o in_o this_o life_n but_o to_o remit_v all_o such_o thing_n to_o the_o next_o and_o so_o that_o we_o may_v ever_o do_v he_o true_a service_n to_o leave_v it_o with_o all_o indifferency_n &_o conformity_n to_o our_o bless_a lord_n whether_o he_o will_v dispense_v all_o his_o favour_n to_o we_o at_o one_o payment_n in_o the_o next_o world_n or_o else_o by_o part_n &_o portion_n in_o this_o and_o whosoever_o shall_v be_v of_o a_o different_a mind_n will_v not_o only_o disoblige_v the_o glorious_a s._n teresa_n herself_o but_o may_v also_o make_v this_o book_n both_o a_o unprofitable_a &_o unuseful_a yea_o &_o even_o a_o inconvenient_a study_n for_o his_o soul_n but_o to_o return_v to_o the_o glorious_a action_n of_o this_o saint_n that_o beside_o the_o institute_n or_o redress_v this_o order_n where_o she_o have_v both_o man_n and_o woman_n though_o yet_o chief_o her_o own_o sex_n in_o her_o eye_n she_o shall_v also_o be_v only_o but_o a_o woman_n be_v able_a so_o to_o work_v upon_o man_n as_o in_o despite_n of_o less_o rigour_n &_o no_o little_a envy_n to_o bring_v they_o to_o take_v as_o it_o be_v the_o law_n at_o her_o hand_n and_o notwithstanding_o the_o pride_n of_o old_a adam_n to_o overworke_n they_o to_o cooperate_v with_o the_o grace_n of_o the_o new_a and_o to_o make_v they_o not_o disdain_v to_o accept_v of_o her_o instruction_n and_o to_o apply_v themselves_o to_o the_o imitation_n of_o this_o virgin_n will_v not_o allow_v we_o to_o do_v any_o thing_n but_o wonder_v save_v that_o it_o be_v most_o evident_o the_o hand_n and_o the_o strong_a hand_n of_o almighty_a god_n who_o enable_v and_o strengthen_v this_o dear_a servant_n of_o he_o to_o be_v the_o instrument_n of_o so_o heroical_a a_o work_n and_o all_o this_o be_v so_o excellent_o set_v down_o by_o the_o say_a doctor_n lewis_n de_fw-fr leon_n as_o that_o i_o will_v do_v both_o the_o saint_n and_o her_o child_n the_o right_a to_o show_v they_o the_o very_a fountain_n itself_o from_o whence_o the_o relation_n spring_v and_o not_o deface_v or_o disgrace_v it_o by_o any_o imperfect_a description_n of_o my_o own_o you_o be_v therefore_o to_o understand_v and_o consider_v for_o these_o circumstance_n be_v not_o impertinent_a to_o the_o substance_n that_o some_o year_n after_o the_o death_n of_o this_o excellent_a creature_n s._n teresa_n and_o long_o before_o she_o be_v declare_v a_o saint_n by_o the_o judgement_n of_o the_o holy_a catholic_a church_n in_o the_o process_n whereof_o there_o use_v ever_o to_o be_v even_o a_o excess_n of_o difficulty_n in_o weigh_v and_o admit_v of_o all_o proof_n there_o grow_v a_o question_n about_o the_o publish_n of_o her_o write_n and_o work_n and_o to_o the_o end_n that_o nothing_o may_v be_v do_v therein_o either_o by_o any_o indiscreet_a zeal_n or_o other_o accident_n the_o council_n royal_a of_o spain_n which_o be_v a_o body_n of_o great_a authority_n &_o wisdom_n commit_v the_o review_n of_o whatsoever_o the_o saint_n have_v leave_v behind_o she_o in_o that_o kind_n to_o be_v consider_v by_o some_o fit_n &_o grave_a person_n that_o so_o that_o which_o shall_v be_v find_v to_o be_v true_o she_o may_v be_v distinguish_v from_o other_o thing_n and_o so_o proceed_v to_o be_v public_a by_o authority_n this_o person_n be_v a_o learned_a and_o renown_a man_n a_o father_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n &_o a_o doctor_n who_o live_v in_o madrid_n at_o that_o time_n his_o name_n be_v lewis_z de_fw-fr leon_n as_o i_o say_v before_o who_o together_o with_o acknowledge_v and_o approve_v yea_o and_o admire_v her_o write_n whereof_o this_o life_n of_o she_o be_v the_o chief_a employ_v himself_o also_o with_o great_a care_n to_o set_v they_o out_o himself_z and_o when_o this_o book_n go_v to_o the_o press_n he_o dedicate_v it_o to_o the_o prioress_n and_o religious_a woman_n of_o the_o teresian-carmelites_n who_o then_o be_v new_o found_v in_o madrid_n and_o here_o you_o shall_v be_v entertain_v with_o as_o much_o of_o that_o dedicatory_a epistle_n as_o import_v the_o excellency_n both_o of_o the_o holy_a mother_n s._n
so_o hard_o that_o his_o affliction_n be_v very_o great_a i_o tell_v he_o once_o upon_o this_o occasion_n that_o since_o he_o have_v be_v so_o devote_a to_o that_o mystery_n when_o our_o lord_n carry_v his_o cross_n upon_o his_o back_n he_o may_v do_v well_o to_o conceive_v that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v be_v please_v to_o give_v he_o a_o feeling_n of_o some_o part_n of_o that_o which_o himself_o have_v undergo_v with_o so_o much_o trouble_v and_o my_o father_n be_v so_o comfort_v by_o this_o thought_n that_o i_o remember_v he_o not_o to_o have_v ever_o complain_v more_o he_o remain_v three_o day_n with_o very_o little_a show_n of_o understanding_n but_o yet_o the_o day_n whereon_o he_o die_v our_o lord_n restore_v it_o to_o he_o &_o that_o so_o entire_o as_o we_o be_v all_o even_o amaze_v to_o see_v it_o and_o he_o continue_v in_o it_o say_v the_o creed_n and_o as_o soon_o as_o he_o have_v pass_v through_o the_o first_o part_n thereof_o he_o expire_v when_o he_o be_v dead_a he_o look_v even_o like_o a_o angel_n and_o as_o such_o in_o manner_n of_o speech_n he_o ever_o seem_v in_o my_o sight_n to_o be_v both_o in_o soul_n and_o disposition_n or_o humour_n which_o he_o have_v extreme_o good_a nor_o do_v i_o know_v why_o i_o have_v speak_v thus_o much_o of_o he_o unless_o it_o be_v to_o confess_v and_o accuse_v my_o own_o wickedness_n so_o much_o the_o more_o since_o upon_o the_o sight_n of_o such_o a_o death_n and_o the_o knowledge_n of_o such_o a_o life_n i_o ought_v to_o have_v amend_v and_o reform_v i_o if_o it_o have_v be_v but_o to_o grow_v the_o like_a to_o such_o a_o father_n his_o confessarius_fw-la who_o be_v a_o dominican_n and_o a_o great_a learned_a man_n affirm_v that_o he_o make_v no_o doubt_n but_o that_o my_o father_n will_v go_v straight_o to_o heaven_n for_o he_o who_o have_v confess_v he_o diverse_a year_n speak_v much_o of_o the_o great_a purity_n of_o his_o conscience_n this_o dominican_n father_n be_v a_o very_a worthy_a man_n and_o a_o true_a servant_n of_o god_n do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o good_a for_o i_o confess_v myself_o to_o he_o and_o he_o undertake_v the_o profit_n of_o my_o soul_n with_o care_n and_o to_o make_v i_o well_o understand_v the_o way_n of_o perdition_n wherein_o i_o be_v walk_v he_o cause_v i_o also_o to_o communicate_v every_o fifteen_o day_n and_o begin_v first_o to_o treat_v with_o he_o by_o little_a and_o little_a i_o speak_v with_o he_o afterward_o at_o length_n about_o my_o prayer_n and_o he_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o must_v not_o fail_v to_o use_v it_o and_o that_o it_o can_v not_o by_o any_o mean_n but_o do_v i_o good_a i_o begin_v therefore_o to_o use_v it_o again_o and_o from_o that_o time_n forward_o i_o never_o leave_v it_o though_o yet_o i_o do_v not_o for_o the_o present_a give-ove_a the_o occasion_n of_o my_o imperfection_n i_o therefore_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n pass_v a_o most_o sad_a life_n for_o in_o prayer_n i_o come_v to_o understand_v my_o fault_n on_o the_o one_o side_n i_o be_v call_v by_o almighty_a god_n and_o on_o the_o other_o i_o follow_v the_o world_n all_o those_o thing_n which_o belong_v to_o god_n give_v i_o great_a contentment_n but_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v of_o the_o world_n tie_v i_o up_o in_o chain_n and_o it_o seem_v i_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o make_v these_o two_o contraries_n friend_n which_o yet_o be_v so_o much_o in_o enmity_n with_o one_o another_o namely_o a_o spiritual_a life_n on_o the_o one_o side_n and_o sensual_a pastime_n contentment_n and_o delight_n on_o the_o other_o in_o my_o prayer_n i_o endure_v much_o trouble_n because_o now_o my_o spirit_n be_v grow_v to_o be_v no_o long_o a_o lord_n but_o a_o slave_n and_o therefore_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o shut_v myself_o up_o in_o my_o hart_n which_o be_v the_o only_o way_n of_o proceed_v i_o former_o have_v hold_v in_o my_o use_n of_o prayer_n without_o shut_v up_o a_o thousand_o vanity_n together_o with_o myself_o i_o pass_v so_o many_o year_n in_o this_o manner_n that_o now_o i_o be_o astonish_v to_o consider_v that_o any_o person_n shall_v be_v able_a to_o endure_v the_o not_o leave_v either_o the_o one_o or_o the_o other_o in_o so_o long_a a_o time_n i_o well_o know_v that_o now_o it_o be_v no_o long_o in_o my_o hand_n to_o give_v over_o mental_a prayer_n for_o he_o hold_v i_o now_o in_o his_o who_o resolve_v to_o do_v i_o great_a favour_n o_o that_o i_o can_v declare_v the_o occasion_n of_o do_v ill_a which_o god_n remove_v from_o i_o in_o those_o year_n and_o how_o i_o put_v myself_o again_o into_o they_o and_o of_o the_o danger_n wherein_o i_o be_v to_o loose_v all_o the_o opinion_n and_o reputation_n which_o i_o have_v in_o the_o world_n from_o which_o he_o free_v i_o and_o of_o the_o haste_n which_o i_o make_v to_o discover_v by_o my_o action_n what_o kind_n of_o creature_n i_o be_v and_o the_o haste_n which_o our_o lord_n make_v also_o to_o cover_v these_o fault_n and_o to_o discover_v some_o little_a virtue_n of_o i_o if_o there_o be_v any_o and_o to_o make_v the_o same_o seem_v great_a in_o the_o eye_n of_o all_o man_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o they_o ever_o hold_v i_o in_o much_o account_n for_o though_o sometime_o my_o vanity_n will_v shine_v through_o my_o action_n yet_o they_o see_v other_o thing_n in_o i_o which_o appear_v good_a will_v not_o believe_v the_o ill_a but_o the_o true_a cause_n hereof_o be_v that_o the_o knower_n of_o all_o thing_n see_v that_o this_o be_v fit_a to_o be_v so_o ordain_v to_o the_o end_n that_o when_o afterward_o i_o shall_v come_v to_o persuade_v the_o world_n to_o do_v he_o service_n they_o may_v give_v i_o some_o little_a credit_n therein_o and_o that_o sovereign_a bounty_n of_o god_n do_v not_o so_o much_o consider_v my_o great_a sin_n as_o it_o do_v those_o desire_n which_o i_o have_v sometime_o to_o serve_v he_o and_o the_o great_a trouble_n i_o feel_v in_o myself_o for_o want_v power_n and_o strength_n to_o put_v the_o same_o in_o execution_n but_o o_o thou_o 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be_v few_o for_o my_o offence_n which_o be_v so_o many_o and_o so_o very_o great_a but_o now_o to_o see_v myself_o receive_v so_o fresh_o so_o high_a favour_n while_o yet_o the_o while_n i_o make_v so_o ill_a retribution_n for_o those_o which_o i_o have_v receive_v before_o be_v in_o my_o account_n a_o kind_n of_o most_o terrible_a torment_n and_o i_o think_v it_o will_v be_v esteem_v so_o by_o all_o such_o as_o have_v any_o knowledge_n or_o love_n of_o god_n and_o we_o may_v easy_o find_v this_o to_o be_v true_a even_o by_o the_o natural_a condition_n of_o person_n
our_o lord_n will_v seem_v to_o have_v bring_v they_o so_o upon_o we_o as_o that_o we_o be_v not_o able_a to_o resist_v they_o now_o it_o seem_v that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o pay_v we_o here_o for_o the_o little_a poor_a care_n we_o take_v to_o serve_v he_o with_o so_o high_a a_o gift_n as_o that_o comfort_n be_v which_o he_o bestow_v upon_o a_o soul_n who_o see_v herself_o able_a to_o lament_v &_o weep_v for_o have_v offend_v so_o great_a a_o lord_n and_o i_o wonder_v not_o a_o whitt_n at_o this_o for_o i_o think_v she_o have_v reason_n enough_o and_o to_o spare_v for_o receive_v joy_n and_o comfort_n upon_o this_o occasion_n there_o do_v the_o soul_n rejoice_v &_o there_o do_v she_o regale_n herself_o i_o like_v that_o comparison_n well_o which_o offer_v itself_o to_o i_o now_o that_o these_o joy_n of_o prayer_n shall_v be_v somewhat_o like_o those_o other_o which_o be_v in_o heaven_n for_o as_o they_o see_v no_o more_o there_o then_o god_n be_v please_v that_o they_o shall_v see_v according_a to_o their_o desert_n &_o they_o acknowledge_v how_o small_a those_o desert_n be_v every_o one_o of_o they_o be_v high_o well_o content_a with_o the_o place_n wherein_o he_o be_v though_o yet_o there_o be_v a_o excessive_a difference_n betweme_v the_o joy_n of_o some_o and_o of_o other_o in_o heaven_n yea_o much_o more_o than_o there_o be_v between_o some_o spiritual_a joy_n and_o other_o here_o on_o earth_n which_o yet_o be_v very_o great_a and_o real_o a_o soul_n when_o god_n do_v she_o this_o favour_n at_o first_o be_v very_o apt_a to_o think_v that_o there_o remain_v no_o more_o then_o to_o be_v desire_v and_o she_o esteem_v herself_o then_o to_o be_v abundant_o satisfy_v for_o all_o the_o service_n which_o ever_o she_o be_v able_a to_o pay_v almighty_a god_n and_o i_o find_v that_o she_o have_v at_o least_o reason_n enough_o to_o think_v so_o for_o even_o one_o of_o those_o single_a tear_n which_o yet_o we_o may_v after_o a_o sort_n procure_v in_o 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for_o certain_a odd_a humility_n which_o be_v in_o the_o world_n whereof_o i_o intend_v to_o treat_v for_o some_o will_v needs_o esteem_v it_o to_o be_v humility_n error_n not_o to_o understand_v those_o gift_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v bestow_v upon_o they_o but_o as_o for_o we_o let_v we_o well_o and_o very_o well_o know_v how_o the_o case_n stand_v with_o we_o namely_o that_o almighty_a god_n bestow_v they_o upon_o we_o without_o any_o merit_n at_o all_o of_o we_o and_o let_v we_o be_v thankful_a to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o they_o for_o if_o we_o know_v not_o what_o favour_n we_o receive_v we_o shall_v not_o stir_v ourselves_o up_o to_o love_v he_o for_o they_o as_o we_o ought_v for_o it_o be_v a_o most_o certain_a truth_n that_o the_o better_a we_o find_v that_o we_o be_v rich_a know_v first_o that_o of_o ourselves_o we_o be_v poor_a we_o grow_v to_o profit_v so_o much_o the_o more_o yea_o and_o even_o our_o very_a humility_n will_v prove_v to_o be_v more_o entire_a and_o sincere_a that_o other_o course_n serve_v but_o to_o accowardize_n the_o mind_n and_o to_o make_v it_o hold_v itself_o uncapable_a of_o receive_v great_a benefit_n if_o our_o lord_n begin_v once_o to_o bestow_v they_o it_o shall_v also_o begin_v to_o fright_v itself_o by_o a_o fear_n of_o vainglory_n but_o let_v we_o rather_o believe_v that_o he_o who_o do_v we_o so_o great_a favour_n will_v give_v we_o also_o grace_n that_o if_o the_o devil_n tempt_v we_o upon_o these_o occasion_n we_o shall_v have_v knowledge_n how_o to_o understand_v he_o and_o strength_n from_o god_n how_o to_o resist_v he_o i_o mean_v if_o we_o go_v on_o with_o plainness_n and_o sincerity_n as_o in_o the_o sight_n of_o almighty_a god_n pretend_v ever_o to_o content_v he_o only_o without_o respect_n to_o man_n for_o it_o be_v a_o very_a evident_a and_o certain_a truth_n that_o we_o love_v a_o person_n the_o better_a when_o we_o remember_v very_o fresh_o what_o benefit_n we_o have_v receive_v at_o his_o hand_n and_o if_o it_o be_v both_o lawful_a and_o meritorious_a for_o we_o to_o be_v ever_o keep_v in_o memory_n that_o we_o have_v our_o very_a be_v from_o almighty_a god_n and_o that_o he_o create_v we_o of_o nothing_o and_o that_o he_o uphold_v we_o still_o together_o with_o all_o those_o other_o benefit_n of_o his_o passion_n and_o death_n which_o he_o endure_v for_o every_o one_o of_o we_o who_o be_v now_o alive_a long_o before_o we_o be_v bear_v why_o shall_v it_o not_o be_v also_o lawful_a for_o i_o who_o be_v wont_a to_o treat_v of_o nothing_o but_o vanity_n to_o understand_v and_o see_v and_o consider_v these_o thing_n often_o especial_o when_o now_o our_o lord_n allow_v i_o so_o great_a a_o blessing_n as_o that_o i_o will_v not_o willing_o even_o so_o much_o as_o speak_v of_o any_o thing_n but_o of_o he_o and_o now_o behold_v here_o a_o rich_a jewel_n which_o remember_v that_o it_o be_v bestow_v upon_o we_o and_o that_o already_o we_o be_v in_o possession_n thereof_o invite_v and_o even_o oblige_v we_o to_o love_v our_o bless_a lord_n and_o this_o in_o fine_a be_v the_o total_a good_a of_o that_o prayer_n which_o be_v ground_v upon_o humility_n but_o what_o will_v then_o occur_v when_o they_o shall_v find_v that_o other_o more_o precious_a jewel_n be_v come_v into_o their_o power_n and_o possession_n which_o our_o lord_n impart_v to_o some_o of_o his_o servant_n as_o namely_o a_o profund_a contempt_n both_o of_o the_o whole_a world_n yea_o and_o of_o themselves_o it_o be_v clear_a that_o in_o this_o case_n we_o must_v hold_v ourselves_o for_o deep_a debtor_n and_o more_o oblige_v to_o serve_v he_o and_o to_o understand_v that_o of_o ourselves_o we_o have_v no_o part_n of_o this_o treasure_n at_o all_o and_o to_o know_v the_o great_a bounty_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n who_o to_o a_o soul_n so_o wicked_a and_o so_o absolute_o without_o all_o merit_n as_o i_o for_o which_o the_o first_o of_o those_o jewel_n aforesaid_a be_v not_o only_o sufficient_a but_o by_o much_o too_o 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to_o know_v that_o himself_o be_v rich_a it_o be_v in_o my_o opinion_n a_o impossible_a kind_n of_o thing_n consider_v the_o ground_n of_o humane_a nature_n for_o one_o to_o do_v great_a and_o goodly_a thing_n if_o he_o understand_v not_o himself_o to_o be_v favour_v by_o almighty_a god_n for_o we_o be_v so_o miserable_a creature_n and_o so_o incline_v to_o delight_n in_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n that_o we_o can_v hardly_o abhor_v effectual_o all_o that_o which_o here_o we_o enjoy_v and_o especial_o to_o do_v it_o with_o great_a liberty_n of_o spirit_n if_o we_o understand_v not_o out_o self_n to_o have_v some_o kind_n of_o taste_n or_o pawn_v concern_v heavenly_a
all_o their_o hope_n be_v lose_v though_o for_o my_o part_n i_o conceive_v that_o all_o that_o loss_n be_v gain_n but_o let_v they_o advice_n as_o i_o have_v say_v represent_v themselves_o as_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n and_o without_o weary_v of_o the_o understanding_n be_v speak_v and_o regal_v themselves_o with_o he_o and_o not_o tire_v their_o wit_n to_o find_v out_o and_o frame_v certain_a discourse_n but_o let_v they_o only_o present_v their_o necessity_n and_o the_o reason_n which_o he_o may_v have_v not_o so_o much_o as_o to_o endure_v they_o there_o some_o one_o of_o these_o consideration_n will_v serve_v at_o one_o time_n and_o some_o other_o at_o a_o other_o that_o so_o the_o soul_n may_v not_o be_v weary_a of_o feed_v always_o upon_o one_o dish_n these_o particular_n be_v both_o very_a gustfull_a and_o very_o profitable_a also_o if_o once_o the_o party_n be_v accustom_v to_o feed_v on_o they_o for_o they_o use_v to_o bring_v great_a support_n and_o strength_n for_o the_o life_n of_o the_o soul_n &_o many_o advamtage_n also_o otherwise_o i_o will_v declare_v myself_o further_o upon_o this_o matter_n because_o all_o these_o point_n concern_v prayer_n carry_v their_o difficulty_n along_o with_o they_o and_o unless_o there_o be_v a_o good_a director_n at_o hand_n they_o be_v very_o hard_a to_o be_v understand_v and_o this_o be_v the_o very_a cause_n why_o though_o i_o will_v fain_o make_v short_a and_o that_o just_o because_o it_o will_v suffice_v for_o i_o but_o even_o to_o touch_v they_o by_o reason_n of_o the_o great_a capacity_n of_o he_o who_o command_v i_o to_o write_v these_o particular_n of_o prayer_n yet_o my_o dulness_n be_v not_o able_a to_o declare_v &_o explicate_v in_o few_o word_n a_o thing_n which_o it_o so_o much_o import_v to_o be_v well_o understand_v and_o because_o i_o suffer_v so_o very_a much_o by_o use_v only_a book_n when_o i_o begin_v the_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n i_o have_v compassion_n of_o all_o they_o 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be_v in_o this_o way_n of_o prayer_n yea_o and_o without_o this_o very_a bread_n they_o will_v never_o be_v able_a to_o support_v and_o strengthen_v themselves_o yet_o must_v even_o this_o be_v take_v by_o weight_n and_o measure_n for_o when_o once_o a_o soul_n find_v herself_o lay_v very_o flat_a and_o low_a and_o see_v clear_o that_o she_o have_v no_o good_a thing_n of_o her_o own_o and_o find_v herself_o to_o be_v full_a of_o confusion_n and_o shame_n so_o much_o as_o to_o appear_v in_o the_o presence_n of_o so_o great_a a_o king_n and_o the_o little_a which_o she_o be_v able_a to_o pay_v he_o for_o the_o very_a much_o which_o she_o find_v herself_o to_o owe_v he_o what_o necessity_n be_v there_o to_o spend_v so_o very_a much_o time_n upon_o this_o without_o apply_v ourselves_o to_o such_o other_o thing_n as_o our_o lord_n may_v perhaps_o set_v before_o we_o and_o which_o it_o will_v not_o be_v reason_n for_o we_o to_o leave_v since_o his_o divine_a majesty_n know_v better_a than_o 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which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n give_v to_o that_o soul_n to_o show_v that_o he_o choose_v she_o out_o for_o great_a thing_n if_o she_o will_v make_v herself_o fit_a to_o receive_v they_o i_o say_v this_o be_v a_o mighty_a gift_n yea_o and_o far_o great_a than_o i_o be_o any_o way_n able_a to_o express_v and_o it_o be_v matter_n of_o much_o grief_n to_o i_o that_o as_o i_o be_v say_v i_o know_v many_o soul_n which_o arrive_v thus_o far_o and_o that_o yet_o there_o be_v so_o very_a few_o which_o pass_v further_a at_o least_o as_o they_o ought_v to_o pass_v that_o i_o be_o even_o ashamed_a to_o confess_v it_o i_o say_v not_o that_o there_o be_v so_o very_a few_o who_o pass_v on_o for_o it_o may_v very_o well_o be_v that_o there_o be_v many_o for_o god_n do_v not_o sustain_v we_o for_o nothing_o but_o i_o only_o speak_v of_o such_o as_o i_o have_v see_v for_o my_o part_n i_o will_v earnest_o wish_v they_o not_o to_o hide_v their_o talon_n since_o it_o seem_v almighty_a god_n choose_v they_o out_o for_o the_o profit_n of_o many_o other_o and_o especial_o in_o these_o time_n when_o it_o be_v so_o necessary_a that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n shall_v have_v strong_a friend_n to_o support_v and_o uphold_v such_o as_o be_v weak_a and_o let_v they_o all_o who_o find_v that_o they_o have_v receive_v this_o great_a favour_n at_o our_o lord_n hand_n esteem_v themselves_o for_o strong_a if_o they_o know_v how_o to_o correspond_v well_o with_o the_o law_n which_o a_o firm_a and_o fast_o friendship_n even_o of_o this_o very_a world_n require_v and_o if_o they_o will_v not_o let_v they_o apprehend_v very_o much_o and_o fear_v that_o they_o shall_v do_v themselves_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o hurt_n yea_o and_o i_o pray_v god_n that_o it_o may_v be_v to_o none_o but_o themselves_o that_o prayer_n which_o the_o soul_n be_v to_o do_v in_o these_o time_n of_o enjoy_v this_o quiet_a be_v but_o only_o note_n that_o with_o suavitie_n and_o without_o noise_n she_o employ_v the_o will_n to_o 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upon_o that_o little_a spark_n of_o fire_n to_o quench_v it_o and_o therefore_o let_v she_o know_v and_o say_v with_o great_a humility_n o_o lord_n what_o be_o i_o able_a to_o do_v here_o what_o have_v this_o servant_n or_o slave_n to_o do_v with_o the_o lord_n of_o heaven_n and_o earth_n or_o else_o she_o may_v use_v such_o other_o word_n as_o shall_v present_v themselves_o then_o in_o the_o way_n of_o love._n but_o note_v here_o that_o she_o must_v be_v very_o very_o well_o ground_v upon_o know_v that_o to_o be_v true_a which_o she_o say_v now_o as_o for_o that_o which_o concern_v the_o understanding_n let_v the_o soul_n consider_v it_o no_o otherwise_o then_o mere_o as_o if_o it_o be_v a_o miller_n and_o if_o she_o will_v needs_o give_v it_o part_n of_o that_o which_o she_o enjoy_v or_o shall_v labour_v to_o recollect_v it_o also_o to_o herself_o she_o will_v find_v that_o it_o be_v not_o to_o prove_v well_o with_o she_o for_o many_o time_n it_o be_v see_v that_o during_o this_o union_n and_o repose_v or_o rest_n in_o the_o will_n the_o understanding_n be_v still_o much_o out_o of_o order_n and_o if_o the_o will_n can_v be_v be_v able_a to_o arrest_v it_o it_o be_v better_a to_o let_v it_o alone_o then_o that_o she_o shall_v still_o go_v hunt_v after_o it_o i_o say_v the_o will._n but_o let_v it_o remain_v enjoy_v that_o favour_n and_o be_v recollect_v and_o shutup_a in_o itself_o like_o a_o wise_a comparison_n bee_n for_o if_o no_o one_o of_o the_o bee_n shall_v go_v into_o the_o hive_n but_o all_o be_v gad_v abroad_o so_o to_o be_v still_o ferch_v one_o another_o home_n there_o will_v little_a store_n of_o honey_n be_v make_v and_o so_o a_o soul_n will_v loose_v very_o much_o if_o she_o be_v not_o well_o advertise_v of_o this_o and_o especial_o if_o the_o understanding_n be_v quick_a and_o sharp_a for_o if_o once_o such_o a_o one_o begin_v to_o put_v discourse_n in_o order_n and_o light_n upon_o some_o pretty_a reason_n to_o the_o purpose_n she_o will_v if_o they_o be_v handsome_o say_v begin_v to_o think_v that_o she_o perform_v some_o great_a exploit_n but_o the_o discourse_n which_o be_v to_o be_v use_v here_o must_v be_v a_o know_v clear_o and_o confess_v plain_o that_o there_o be_v no_o other_o reason_n at_o all_o why_o almighty_a god_n shall_v ever_o do_v we_o so_o great_a a_o favour_n than_o his_o own_o only_o goodness_n and_o to_o consider_v that_o we_o be_v now_o approach_v so_o near_o to_o he_o and_o to_o beg_v favour_n of_o he_o and_o to_o beseech_v he_o also_o for_o his_o church_n and_o for_o all_o such_o as_o have_v recommend_v themselves_o to_o we_o and_o so_o also_o for_o the_o soul_n in_o purgatory_n and_o this_o not_o by_o the_o noise_n of_o word_n but_o only_o by_o a_o feel_a desire_n to_o be_v hear_v by_o his_o divine_a majesty_n this_o be_v a_o prayer_n which_o comprehend_v very_o much_o and_o we_o shall_v obtain_v more_o thereby_o then_o by_o multiply_v much_o roll_a discourse_n by_o way_n of_o the_o understanding_n but_o let_v the_o will_n stirr-up_a herself_o by_o some_o reason_n which_o will_v easy_o represent_v themselves_o to_o she_o then_o when_o she_o find_v herself_o to_o be_v so_o very_a much_o improve_v to_o quicken-up_a her_o love_n and_o to_o make_v she_o perform_v certain_a amorous_a act_n of_o how_o great_a thing_n she_o will_v be_v glad_a to_o do_v for_o one_o to_o who_o she_o owe_v so_o very_a much_o without_o admit_v and_o permit_v as_o i_o say_v that_o the_o understanding_n part_n shall_v make_v a_o noise_n in_o the_o search_n and_o pretence_n of_o do_v high_a and_o mighty_a matter_n for_o here_o any_o few_o little_a poor_a straw_n present_v and_o offered-up_a with_o humility_n and_o they_o may_v be_v sure_a enough_o to_o be_v straw_n if_o we_o bring_v they_o will_v make_v a_o great_a deal_n more_o to_o the_o purpose_n and_o will_v help_v to_o kindle_v a_o good_a fire_n more_o quick_o than_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o big_a log_n of_o wood_n will_v be_v able_a to_o do_v i_o mean_v reason_n which_o in_o our_o opinion_n shall_v be_v very_o sure_a to_o quench_v and_o putout_a the_o fire_n even_o in_o the_o turn_n of_o a_o hand_n this_o be_v good_a for_o learned_a man_n who_o command_v i_o to_o write_v all_o this_o for_o through_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n it_o may_v be_v hope_v that_o all_o of_o they_o arrive_v hither_o and_o it_o may_v perhaps_o so_o happen_v among_o they_o that_o this_o time_n will_v pass_v away_o in_o apply_v some_o place_n of_o scripture_n but_o though_o that_o kind_n of_o knowledge_n can_v not_o fail_v to_o be_v useful_a to_o they_o both_o before_o such_o occasion_n as_o these_o and_o also_o after_o yet_o at_o these_o very_a time_n of_o prayer_n there_o will_v be_v little_a occasion_n to_o use_v it_o in_o my_o opinion_n unless_o they_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o cool_v the_o feruorous_a employment_n of_o the_o will._n for_o the_o understanding_n find_v itself_o then_o to_o possess_v such_o a_o excessive_a kind_n of_o claritie_n by_o be_v so_o 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soul_n do_v at_o that_o time_n and_o our_o lord_n say_v this_o to_o i_o in_o these_o word_n it_o do_v my_o daughter_n dissolve_v and_o defeat_v itself_o to_o be_v so_o the_o more_o ingulfed_a in_o i_o for_o now_o it_o be_v no_o long_o she_o who_o live_v but_o i_o and_o since_o she_o can_v comprehend_v that_o which_o she_o understand_v her_o very_a understanding_n it_o after_o a_o kind_n of_o moral_a way_n which_o she_o do_v be_v real_o a_o not_o understand_v it_o after_o a_o strict_a &_o comprehensive_a way_n which_o she_o be_v not_o able_a to_o do_v he_o who_o shall_v have_v have_v trial_n of_o this_o by_o experience_n will_v be_v able_a to_o arrive_v to_o the_o expression_n of_o some_o part_n thereof_o but_o as_o for_o i_o i_o can_v deliver_v that_o more_o clear_o which_o pass_v here_o since_o it_o be_v so_o very_o obscure_a i_o can_v only_o say_v that_o in_o this_o case_n their_o be_v then_o so_o close_o to_o almighty_a god_n be_v represent_v to_o they_o and_o there_o remain_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o certainty_n thereof_o that_o it_o can_v possible_o fail_v to_o be_v believe_v and_o now_o here_o all_o the_o power_n of_o the_o soul_n fall_v short_a of_o operation_n and_o be_v suspend_v in_o such_o sort_n that_o by_o no_o mean_n as_o i_o have_v say_v it_o can_v possible_o be_v understand_v that_o they_o work_v if_o she_o be_v think_v of_o some_o mystery_n it_o be_v instant_o so_o forget_v as_o if_o there_o have_v never_o beme_fw-mi any_o such_o thought_n if_o she_o be_v read_v there_o be_v no_o remembrance_n of_o it_o nor_o yet_o of_o pause_v and_o if_o pray_v vocal_o in_o like_a manner_n so_o that_o now_o this_o importunate_a little_a gnatt_n of_o the_o memory_n have_v her_o wing_n burn_v here_o and_o can_v now_o no_o long_o spring-up_a nor_o stir_v the_o will_v also_o be_v now_o employ_v all_o in_o love_v though_o it_o understand_v not_o how_o it_o love_v the_o understanding_n if_o it_o understand_v it_o be_v not_o yet_o understand_v how_o it_o understand_v and_o at_o least_o it_o can_v comprehend_v nothing_o of_o that_o which_o it_o understand_v to_o i_o it_o do_v not_o seem_v that_o it_o understand_v because_o as_o i_o be_v say_v it_o be_v not_o understand_v and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o attain_v not_o to_o understand_v all_o this_o at_o the_o first_o i_o chance_v to_o be_v in_o so_o great_a a_o ignorance_n as_o not_o to_o know_v that_o almighty_a god_n be_v in_o all_o thing_n and_o consider_v how_o very_o present_a i_o conceive_v he_o to_o be_v to_o i_o it_o seem_v impossible_a for_o i_o to_o believe_v the_o contrary_n to_o leave_v therefore_o to_o believe_v that_o he_o be_v there_o i_o can_v not_o because_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o as_o it_o be_v apparent_o and_o clear_o that_o i_o have_v understand_v his_o very_a presence_n to_o be_v there_o some_o man_n who_o be_v not_o learned_a tell_v i_o that_o he_o be_v only_o there_o by_o his_o grace_n which_o still_o i_o can_v not_o possible_o believe_v because_o as_o i_o be_v say_v i_o hold_v he_o to_o be_v direct_o present_a otherwise_o and_o thus_o i_o continue_v with_o some_o trouble_n but_o at_o length_n a_o great_a learned_a man_n of_o the_o order_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n dominick_n free_v i_o from_o this_o doubt_n and_o tell_v i_o not_o only_o that_o he_o be_v present_a but_o that_o he_o also_o communicate_v himself_o to_o we_o which_o comfort_v i_o very_o much_o but_o now_o it_o be_v here_o to_o be_v note_v and_o understand_v that_o this_o celestial_a water_n be_v always_o a_o most_o eminent_a favour_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o give_v the_o soul_n excessive_o great_a advantage_n as_o i_o shall_v now_o declare_v the_o nineteen_o chapter_n she_o prosecute_v the_o same_o discourse_n and_o begin_v to_o declare_v the_o effect_n which_o this_o degree_n of_o prayer_n work_n in_o the_o soul_n she_o persuade_v man_n earnest_o not_o to_o turn_v back_o nor_o to_o give-ove_a their_o prayer_n though_o they_o shall_v happen_v to_o fall_v even_o after_o they_o have_v receive_v these_o 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i_o be_v in_o this_o part_n of_o this_o prayer_n to_o be_v so_o prayer_n whole_o out_o of_o myself_o as_o that_o i_o know_v not_o whether_o i_o be_v awake_a or_o asleep_o or_o whither_o in_o very_a deed_n i_o have_v be_v in_o that_o glory_n which_o i_o feel_v and_o whether_o it_o be_v true_a that_o i_o be_v indeed_o so_o all_o bathe_v in_o water_n which_o distil_v with_o such_o force_n and_o speed_n from_o my_o eye_n that_o it_o seem_v as_o if_o a_o very_a cloud_n of_o heaven_n have_v rain_v it_o down_o but_o in_o fine_a i_o find_v that_o it_o be_v no_o dream_n this_o happen_v to_o be_v in_o the_o beginning_n of_o this_o prayer_n and_o it_o pass_v quick_o over_o but_o the_o soul_n remain_v so_o courageous_a thereby_o that_o if_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o she_o to_o be_v cut_v into_o a_o thousand_o piece_n for_o god_n sake_n it_o will_v be_v of_o extreme_a consolation_n to_o she_o and_o now_o here_o come_v in_o all_o her_o promise_n her_o heroical_a resolution_n the_o livelie_a efficacy_n of_o her_o desire_n her_o beginning_n to_o abhor_v the_o world_n her_o clear_o discern_v she_o own_o vanity_n and_o all_o this_o much_o more_o perfect_o and_o more_o high_o than_o it_o happen_v in_o any_o of_o her_o former_a prayer_n her_o humility_n be_v also_o grow_v much_o strong_a for_o now_o she_o very_o clear_o discern_v that_o no_o diligence_n at_o all_o of_o her_o own_o be_v any_o piece_n of_o a_o cause_n for_o bring_v she_o that_o excessive_a and_o incomparable_a favour_n nor_o for_o make_v she_o enjoy_v the_o same_o she_o see_v now_o clear_o that_o she_o be_v a_o most_o unworthy_a creature_n for_o in_o any_o room_n where_o there_o enter_v a_o strong_a and_o clear_a sunbeam_n there_o be_v not_o the_o least_o and_o thin_a cobweb_n which_o can_v lie_v hide_v she_o now_o look_v very_o clear_o upon_o her_o own_o misery_n and_o now_o she_o be_v so_o very_o free_a from_o vainglory_n that_o it_o seem_v a_o kind_n of_o impossible_a thing_n for_o she_o to_o have_v any_o because_o now_o already_o she_o have_v it_o even_o in_o her_o very_a eye_n how_o little_a she_o be_v able_a to_o perform_v or_o rather_o in_o very_a deed_n that_o it_o be_v just_o nothing_o at_o all_o and_o that_o in_o this_o case_n there_o be_v hardly_o so_o much_o as_o any_o consent_n of_o she_o but_o that_o it_o seem_v that_o even_o whether_o she_o will_v or_o no_o they_o shut_v the_o gate_n of_o all_o her_o sense_n up_o to_o the_o end_n that_o she_o may_v so_o the_o better_a enjoy_v her_o lord_n and_o that_o now_o since_o she_o remain_v all_o alone_a with_o he_o what_o can_v she_o have_v to_o do_v but_o to_o love_v he_o she_o neither_o can_v see_v nor_o hear_v unless_o she_o be_v make_v to_o do_v so_o as_o it_o be_v by_o very_o strong_a hand_n and_o therefore_o there_o be_v little_a for_o which_o to_o thank_v she_o her_o former_a life_n grow_v then_o to_o be_v represent_v to_o she_o with_o perfect_a truth_n together_o with_o the_o great_a mercy_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o all_o this_o occurr_n to_o she_o without_o any_o necessity_n at_o all_o that_o her_o understanding_n shall_v now_o go_v hunt_v after_o it_o for_o there_o do_v she_o already_o find_v all_o this_o kind_n of_o food_n ready_a dress_v for_o she_o to_o understand_v and_o eat_v of_o herself_o she_o see_v very_o well_o that_o she_o deserve_v hellfire_n and_o that_o now_o in_o stead_n thereof_o they_o give_v she_o no_o other_o punishment_n than_o glory_n and_o therefore_o she_o do_v now_o even_o consume_v herself_o in_o the_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o now_o will_v i_o be_v glad_a even_o to_o consume_v myself_o so_o bless_a be_v thou_o o_o
together_o with_o the_o body_n and_o so_o both_o of_o they_o participate_v therein_o and_o it_o be_v not_o also_o with_o that_o extremity_n of_o be_v as_o it_o be_v abandon_v and_o utter_o forsake_v which_o yet_o abound_v in_o this_o wherein_o as_o i_o be_v say_v we_o have_v no_o part_n at_o all_o ourselves_o but_o there_o often_o come_v a_o kind_n of_o desire_n unreasonable_o and_o unexpected_o upon_o we_o and_o i_o know_v not_o from_o whence_o it_o move_v and_o upon_o this_o desire_n which_o penetrate_v the_o whole_a soul_n even_o at_o one_o very_a instant_n she_o begin_v to_o afflict_v and_o even_o belabour_v herself_o so_o as_o that_o she_o rise_v much_o above_o herself_o and_o indeed_o above_o whatsoever_o be_v create_v and_o almighty_a god_n be_v please_v to_o make_v she_o so_o very_o desolate_a &_o disgu_v in_o order_n to_o all_o temporal_a thing_n that_o how_o much_o soever_o she_o may_v labour_v and_o endeavour_v to_o the_o contrary_a there_o be_v nothing_o in_o this_o world_n 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manner_n but_o the_o word_n whereof_o i_o speak_v be_v these_o vigilavi_fw-la &_o factus_fw-la sum_fw-la sicut_fw-la passer_n solitarius_fw-la in_o tecto_fw-la i_o have_v watch_v and_o be_o become_v like_o a_o solitary_a sparrow_n upon_o the_o top_n of_o a_o house_n for_o so_o do_v that_o verse_n represent_v itself_o to_o i_o at_o those_o time_n that_o i_o think_v i_o do_v even_o see_v my_o own_o condition_n therein_o and_o it_o comfort_v i_o to_o observe_v that_o other_o have_v also_o find_v themselves_o in_o so_o high_a a_o extremity_n of_o solitude_n and_o especial_o when_o they_o be_v such_o person_n as_o the_o royal_a prophet_n be_v so_o that_o i_o think_v this_o kind_n of_o soul_n be_v not_o then_o itself_o but_o rather_o upon_o the_o very_a top_n or_o ridge_n as_o one_o may_v say_v thereof_o yea_o and_o of_o all_o thing_n also_o which_o be_v create_v for_o then_o i_o think_v the_o soul_n remain_v in_o the_o very_o high_a and_o most_o superior_a part_n of_o herself_o at_o other_o 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she_o be_v not_o there_o nor_o carry_v she_o any_o affection_n at_o all_o to_o the_o earth_n nor_o be_v she_o also_o there_o but_o remain_v as_o if_o she_o be_v even_o crucify_v between_o heaven_n &_o earth_n and_o suffer_v all_o the_o while_n without_o receive_v any_o succour_n either_o from_o one_o of_o these_o place_n or_o the_o other_o for_o that_o which_o come_v to_o she_o from_o heaven_n which_o be_v as_o i_o have_v say_v before_o but_o a_o notice_n of_o almighty_a god_n so_o admirable_a above_o all_o that_o which_o we_o know_v any_o way_n how_o to_o desire_v do_v but_o serve_v for_o her_o great_a torment_n because_o it_o multiply_v the_o same_o desire_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o the_o excessive_a pain_n thereof_o do_v put_v she_o in_o my_o opinion_n even_o past_o her_o sense_n save_v that_o she_o remain_v so_o but_o a_o very_a little_a while_n now_o this_o condition_n of_o mind_n seem_v to_o be_v no_o less_o than_o even_o the_o very_a agony_n and_o passage_n of_o death_n itself_o yet_o withal_o there_o be_v so_o very_o great_a a_o contentment_n take_v in_o this_o suffering_n that_o i_o know_v not_o to_o what_o in_o fine_a i_o may_v possible_o be_v able_a to_o compare_v it_o it_o be_v a_o fierce_a and_o yet_o a_o savoury_a and_o delightful_a kind_n of_o martyrdom_n since_o all_o that_o which_o concern_v this_o world_n and_o which_o it_o be_v possible_a to_o represent_v to_o the_o soul_n yea_o though_o it_o be_v even_o the_o most_o delightful_a object_n which_o ever_o she_o have_v be_v accustom_v to_o embrace_v be_v by_o no_o mean_n admit_v but_o be_v instant_o cast_v sharp_o away_o from_o she_o she_o understand_v also_o here_o very_o well_o that_o she_o care_v for_o nothing_o at_o all_o but_o almighty_a god_n and_o yet_o she_o consider_v no_o particular_a thing_n even_o in_o he_o but_o she_o will_v have_v he_o all_o together_o and_o yet_o after_o a_o sort_n she_o know_v not_o what_o she_o will_v have_v i_o say_v again_o that_o she_o know_v not_o because_o her_o imagination_n represent_v nothing_o at_o all_o to_o she_o yea_o and_o in_o my_o opinion_n during_o a_o great_a part_n of_o that_o time_n wherein_o she_o be_v after_o that_o manner_n the_o power_n of_o her_o soul_n do_v not_o work_v that_o joy_n which_o use_v to_o be_v feel_v both_o in_o the_o case_n of_o union_n and_o of_o rapt_n for_o they_o be_v whole_o suspend_v by_o her_o pain_n but_o o_o that_o i_o be_v able_a to_o give_v your_o reverence_n to_o understand_v this_o business_n well_o though_o it_o be_v but_z that_o you_o may_v so_o make_v i_o know_v more_o particular_o what_o it_o be_v for_o now_o this_o be_v that_o in_o which_o my_o soul_n do_v ordinary_o most_o continue_v &_o whensoever_o i_o be_o not_o employ_v about_o somewhat_o she_o be_v put_v even_o upon_o these_o very_a straits_n and_o agony_n of_o death_n she_o be_v afraid_a when_o she_o see_v they_o begin_v for_o fear_v lest_o it_o shall_v cost_v i_o my_o life_n but_o yet_o when_o it_o be_v once_o begin_v she_o will_v be_v glad_a that_o during_o all_o that_o life_n which_o may_v last_o she_o may_v continue_v in_o that_o state_n of_o sufferance_n though_o yet_o still_o it_o be_v so_o very_o excessive_a that_o the_o person_n be_v scarce_o able_a to_o endure_v it_o for_o sometime_o i_o be_o in_o effect_n without_o any_o pulse_n at_o all_o as_o my_o sister_n tell_v i_o who_o then_o come_v towards_o i_o to_o see_v what_o pass_v for_o now_o they_o begin_v a_o little_a to_o understand_v more_o of_o the_o case_n and_o the_o bone_n of_o my_o very_a arm_n to_o which_o the_o joint_n be_v fasten_v grow_v then_o to_o be_v even_o open_v and_o my_o hand_n be_v so_o stark_o and_o
by_o those_o beam_n you_o will_v find_v it_o to_o be_v all_o full_a of_o moat_n this_o comparison_n be_v very_o literal_o true_a for_o before_o the_o soul_n be_v in_o this_o extasis_fw-la she_o conceive_v herself_o to_o have_v be_v very_o careful_a not_o to_o offend_v almighty_a god_n &_o that_o she_o perform_v it_o according_a to_o the_o uttermost_a of_o her_o power_n but_o yet_o be_v come_v once_o so_o far_o as_o that_o this_o sun_n of_o justice_n shine_v upon_o she_o which_o make_v her_o open_a her_o eye_n she_o than_o see_v so_o many_o moat_n therein_o that_o she_o will_v be_v glad_a if_o she_o can_v tell_v how_o to_o shut_v they_o again_o for_o she_o be_v not_o yet_o become_v so_o true_a a_o eaglet_n of_o this_o swift_a and_o strong_a eagle_n which_o breed_v she_o as_o that_o she_o can_v be_v able_a to_o look_v earnest_o upon_o this_o sun_n but_o how_o little_a soever_o she_o chance_v to_o hold_v they_o open_a she_o see_v herself_o all_o impure_a and_o call_v that_o verse_n to_o 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resolut_o affirm_v he_o to_o be_v that_o person_n as_o if_o i_o have_v see_v he_o but_o yet_o now_o in_o this_o other_o case_n i_o can_v for_o here_o there_o be_v imprint_v so_o clear_a a_o notice_n of_o he_o in_o the_o mind_n without_o see_v he_o that_o it_o seem_v a_o kind_n of_o impossibility_n to_o doubt_v it_o for_o our_o lord_n will_v have_v it_o so_o engrave_v upon_o the_o understanding_n that_o it_o can_v no_o more_o be_v question_v then_o even_o that_o which_o we_o see_v no_o nor_o yet_o so_o much_o for_o in_o thing_n which_o we_o see_v there_o remain_v sometime_o a_o suspicion_n whether_o we_o may_v not_o have_v fancy_v such_o a_o thing_n and_o so_o mistake_v it_o but_o here_o though_o upon_o the_o sudden_a and_o as_o it_o be_v by_o way_n of_o surprise_n one_o may_v begin_v to_o fall_v upon_o a_o kind_n of_o suspicion_n or_o doubt_v yet_o still_o upon_o the_o whole_a matter_n we_o remain_v in_o so_o great_a a_o certainty_n as_o that_o the_o doubt_n continue_v not_o to_o 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celestial_a gift_n for_o the_o soul_n find_v herself_o here_o to_o be_v grow_v wise_a upon_o a_o sudden_a and_o that_o the_o mystery_n of_o the_o most_o holy_a trinity_n and_o other_o most_o sublime_a article_n be_v so_o exact_o declare_v to_o she_o that_o there_o be_v not_o any_o theologue_n or_o divine_a in_o the_o world_n with_o who_o she_o may_v not_o adventure_v to_o dispute_v concern_v the_o truth_n of_o those_o high_a point_n the_o soul_n remain_v here_o in_o such_o a_o amazement_n that_o some_o one_o such_o favour_n as_o this_o suffice_v to_o work_v a_o total_a change_n in_o she_o and_o to_o make_v her_o love_n nothing_o but_o only_o he_o who_o without_o any_o labour_n at_o all_o of_o she_o have_v make_v her_o capable_a of_o so_o unspeakable_a blessing_n and_o to_o who_o he_o communicate_v his_o secret_n and_o who_o he_o treat_v with_o argument_n of_o so_o great_a and_o dear_a friendship_n and_o love_n that_o they_o soul_n endure_v not_o so_o much_o as_o to_o be_v write_v for_o he_o do_v some_o such_o kind_n of_o favour_n as_o may_v even_o bespeak_v a_o kind_n of_o suspicion_n and_o doubt_v in_o the_o hearer_n in_o regard_n that_o they_o be_v of_o so_o great_a admiration_n and_o have_v be_v impart_v to_o a_o person_n who_o have_v deserve_v they_o so_o very_o ill_o and_o in_o fine_a if_o we_o bring_v not_o a_o very_a livelie_a and_o even_o lusty_a faith_n with_o we_o they_o can_v be_v believe_v and_o therefore_o i_o resolve_v to_o speak_v of_o few_o of_o those_o which_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o vouchsafe_v i_o unless_o i_o be_v express_o command_v and_o unless_o it_o be_v of_o some_o few_o vision_n which_o perhaps_o may_v ferue_v to_o do_v good_a in_o some_o kind_n to_o the_o end_n that_o any_o such_o person_n as_o to_o who_o our_o lord_n may_v be_v please_v to_o impart_v the_o like_a may_v not_o wonder_v and_o think_v it_o impossible_a as_o i_o do_v or_o else_o that_o so_o i_o may_v declare_v the_o manner_n and_o way_n by_o which_o it_o have_v 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this_o and_o your_o reverence_n will_v express_v it_o better_o and_o will_v unfold_v all_o that_o which_o you_o may_v find_v obscure_a and_o i_o not_o know_v how_o to_o deliver_v it_o seem_v to_o i_o indeed_o in_o some_o respect_n that_o it_o be_v a_o image_n or_o distinct_a representation_n which_o i_o see_v but_o in_o many_o other_o no_o but_o rather_o that_o it_o be_v christ_n our_o lord_n himself_o consider_v the_o excessive_a kind_n of_o claritie_n wherewith_o he_o vouchsafe_v to_o impart_v himself_o to_o i_o and_o yet_o sometime_o it_o be_v after_o so_o undistinct_a a_o manner_n that_o i_o think_v it_o be_v a_o representation_n or_o image_n but_o yet_o still_o not_o like_o those_o design_n and_o draught_n or_o picture_n of_o thing_n which_o be_v make_v here_o how_o perfect_a soever_o they_o may_v be_v for_o i_o have_v see_v both_o very_a many_o and_o very_o good_a one_o of_o this_o kind_n but_o it_o be_v a_o very_a great_a impertinency_n to_o conceive_v that_o any_o one_o of_o 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show_v she_o his_o love_n yet_o know_v she_o not_o where_o to_o dispose_v of_o herself_o but_o be_v as_o it_o be_v even_o annihilate_v outright_o i_o say_v this_o kind_n of_o vision_n be_v of_o so_o excessive_a power_n and_o strength_n when_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v a_o soul_n so_o eminent_a a_o portion_n of_o his_o majesty_n and_o greatness_n by_o it_o that_o i_o hold_v it_o for_o a_o impossible_a thing_n unless_o our_o lord_n shall_v be_v please_v to_o assist_v she_o by_o make_v she_o remain_v in_o rapt_v and_o extasis_fw-la and_o so_o to_o loose_v the_o vision_n of_o that_o divine_a presence_n by_o the_o act_n of_o enjoy_v that_o any_o mortal_a creature_n shall_v be_v able_a to_o endure_v it_o at_o the_o present_a though_o yet_o afterward_o it_o be_v no_o impossible_a thing_n to_o forget_v it_o and_o yet_o still_o this_o can_v not_o be_v whole_o forget_v in_o regard_n that_o that_o majesty_n and_o beauty_n be_v so_o very_o deep_o imprint_v there_o but_o only_o when_o 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be_v discern_v by_o the_o effect_n that_o the_o devil_n have_v no_o power_n at_o all_o herein_o and_o yet_o it_o be_v true_a that_o three_o or_o four_o several_a time_n he_o have_v have_v a_o mind_n to_o represent_v our_o lord_n himself_o to_o i_o after_o this_o manner_n that_o be_v to_o say_v by_o way_n of_o such_o a_o false_a kind_n of_o representation_n for_o he_o take_v the_o form_n of_o flesh_n but_o it_o come_v not_o within_o the_o compass_n of_o his_o power_n to_o counterfeit_v it_o with_o any_o such_o kind_n of_o glory_n as_o when_o it_o be_v indeed_o of_o almighty_a god_n the_o devil_n be_v wont_a to_o make_v certain_a representation_n for_o the_o destroy_n of_o some_o true_a
for_o i_o confess_v i_o understand_v not_o this_o kind_n of_o language_n but_o because_o i_o have_v be_v think_v that_o our_o saint_n have_v ancient_o affirm_v and_o teach_v that_o a_o monastery_n shall_v be_v a_o kind_n of_o court_n to_o instruct_v such_o person_n as_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o make_v themselves_o courtier_n in_o the_o kingdom_n of_o heaven_n but_o now_o thing_n be_v understand_v in_o the_o direct_a contrary_a way_n because_o they_o who_o shall_v be_v continual_o employ_v in_o please_v almighty_a god_n and_o in_o procure_v to_o abhor_v the_o world_n must_v now_o forsooth_o be_v oblige_v to_o all_o attention_n and_o care_n in_o stead_n of_o please_a god_n to_o please_v such_o as_o live_v in_o the_o world_n yea_o and_o that_o in_o certain_a thing_n which_o be_v every_o day_n so_o subject_a to_o change_v that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o our_o performance_n can_v pass_v un-reproved_a yea_o though_o it_o be_v possible_a that_o all_o may_v be_v learn_v in_o one_o lesson_n without_o any_o loss_n at_o all_o of_o more_o time_n yea_o and_o even_o for_o the_o title_n which_o be_v expect_v upon_o the_o superscription_n of_o letter_n it_o be_v now_o it_o seem_v not_o to_o be_v unfit_a that_o there_o be_v some_o doctours-chaire_n erect_v as_o one_o may_v say_v where_o they_o may_v instruct_v and_o teach_v how_o such_o and_o such_o title_n be_v to_o be_v use_v for_o sometime_o man_n leave_v the_o paper_n empty_a on_o one_o side_n of_o the_o page_n of_o the_o letter_n and_o sometime_o on_o the_o other_o and_o now_o he_o who_o be_v not_o wont_a to_o be_v worshipful_a must_v be_v call_v honourable_a and_o i_o know_v not_o in_o fine_a where_o thing_n will_v rest_v for_o i_o be_o not_o yet_o fifty_o year_n old_a and_o yet_o i_o have_v see_v such_o change_n in_o my_o time_n that_o i_o can_v tell_v now_o how_o to_o live_v but_o then_o how_o will_v they_o who_o be_v now_o bear_v know_v how_o to_o carry_v themselves_o if_o they_o chance_v to_o live_v long_o i_o have_v real_o great_a compassion_n of_o spiritual_a person_n who_o be_v oblige_v to_o live_v in_o the_o world_n for_o certain_a holy_a end_n for_o i_o hold_v it_o to_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o terrible_a cross_n which_o they_o be_v fain_o to_o carry_v even_o in_o this_o respect_n if_o they_o can_v all_o come_v to_o agree_v in_o a_o tale_n and_o profess_v themselves_o to_o be_v ignorant_a and_o be_v content_a to_o be_v hold_v for_o such_o in_o this_o kind_n of_o art_n or_o science_n they_o may_v free_v themselves_o from_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o trouble_n but_o now_o into_o what_o kind_n of_o foolety_n have_v i_o cast_v myself_o for_o by_o treat_v of_o the_o greatness_n of_o almighty_a god_n i_o be_o grow_v by_o degree_n to_o speak_v of_o the_o baseness_n of_o the_o world_n and_o since_o our_o lord_n have_v do_v i_o the_o favour_n to_o make_v i_o able_a to_o leave_v it_o i_o be_o resolve_v to_o go_v out_o of_o it_o now_o at_o length_n let_v they_o fit_a themselves_o to_o it_o as_o they_o list_v who_o sustain_v and_o hold-up_a these_o toy_n with_o so_o much_o trouble_n to_o themselves_o and_o i_o pray_v god_n that_o we_o may_v not_o pay_v dear_o for_o they_o in_o the_o other_o world_n where_o there_o be_v no_o change_n to_o be_v find_v amen_o the_o eight_o and_o thirty_o chapter_n wherein_o she_o treat_v of_o some_o great_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v she_o as_o well_o in_o acquaint_v she_o with_o certain_a secret_n of_o heaven_n as_o by_o give_v she_o other_o great_a vision_n and_o revelation_n she_o declare_v also_o the_o effect_n which_o they_o leave_v in_o her_o soul_n and_o the_o great_a benefit_n which_o she_o obtain_v by_o they_o be_v so_o very_o ill_o at_o ease_n one_o night_n that_o i_o think_v fit_a to_o excuse_v myself_o from_o prayer_n i_o take_v a_o pair_n of_o bead_n or_o rosarie_n into_o my_o hand_n to_o employ_v myself_o vocal_o by_o that_o mean_n and_o i_o procure_v not_o to_o recollect_v my_o understanding_n in_o any_o very_a serious_a manner_n though_o yet_o forasmuch_o as_o concern_v my_o exterior_a i_o be_v sufficient_o recollect_v and_o in_o my_o oratory_n but_o when_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o any_o thing_n these_o diligence_n of_o we_o to_o the_o contrary_a be_v not_o wont_a to_o serve_v to_o any_o great_a purpose_n for_o i_o remain_v a_o while_n after_o this_o manner_n there_o come_v a_o rapt_v of_o spirit_n upon_o i_o with_o such_o a_o excessive_a impulse_n or_o impetuositie_n that_o there_o be_v no_o power_n in_o i_o to_o resist_v it_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o be_v carry_v up_o and_o place_v in_o heaven_n yea_o and_o the_o first_o person_n who_o i_o see_v there_o be_v my_o father_n and_o my_o mother_n and_o i_o also_o see_v some_o thing_n beside_o so_o very_o great_a and_o all_o in_o so_o very_o short_a a_o space_n of_o time_n as_o wherein_o a_o aue_fw-la maria_n may_v be_v say_v that_o i_o be_v amaze_v as_o conceave_a that_o it_o be_v too_o very_o great_a a_o favour_n for_o i_o in_o this_o circumstance_n of_o the_o time_n have_v be_v so_o short_a i_o may_v perhaps_o be_v deceive_v for_o it_o may_v have_v be_v a_o little_a long_o but_o at_o least_o it_o run_v speedy_o away_o and_o seem_v short_a enough_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v in_o some_o fear_n of_o a_o illusion_n but_o yet_o suppose_v that_o it_o shall_v prove_v none_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o a_o extreme_a deal_n of_o shame_n with_o consider_v how_o i_o can_v ever_o be_v able_a to_o declare_v any_o such_o thing_n as_o that_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n not_o yet_o in_o my_o opinion_n that_o i_o be_v to_o receive_v trouble_n by_o it_o in_o respect_n of_o any_o such_o thing_n as_o humility_n in_o i_o but_o because_o i_o think_v it_o likely_a enough_o that_o he_o will_v make_v some_o jest_n at_o it_o and_o say_v lord_n what_o a_o kind_n of_o s._n paul_n or_o s._n jerome_n be_v this_o woman_n grow_v that_o she_o forsooth_o must_v see_v thing_n of_o heaven_n yea_o and_o beside_o in_o regard_n that_o these_o glorious_a saint_n have_v participate_v and_o be_v admit_v to_o such_o thing_n as_o these_o i_o grow_v to_o be_v in_o so_o much_o the_o more_o fear_n of_o myself_o and_o real_o i_o do_v nothing_o but_o weep_v bitter_o in_o regard_n that_o in_o my_o opinion_n there_o be_v no_o appearance_n of_o reason_n at_o all_o that_o these_o thing_n be_v to_o pass_v after_o this_o manner_n but_o yet_o howsoever_o in_o fine_a i_o resolve_v that_o i_o will_v go_v to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n notwithstanding_o all_o the_o aversion_n which_o i_o have_v and_o that_o i_o will_v acquaint_v he_o with_o all_o thing_n for_o i_o never_o dare_v conceal_v any_o thing_n from_o he_o through_o the_o very_a great_a fear_n wherein_o i_o be_v of_o be_v abuse_v and_o deceive_v yet_o when_o he_o find_v i_o to_o be_v so_o great_o afflict_v he_o do_v procure_v to_o comfort_v i_o much_o and_o tell_v i_o of_o many_o good_a thing_n to_o free_v i_o from_o the_o pain_n wherein_o i_o be_v but_o afterward_o that_o which_o follow_v happen_v to_o i_o and_o the_o same_o occurr_n to_o i_o often_o for_o our_o lord_n go_v show_v i_o yet_o great_a secret_n i_o say_v he_o go_v show_v they_o to_o i_o for_o that_o a_o soul_n shall_v ever_o be_v able_a to_o see_v any_o one_o iott_n more_o then_o be_v represent_v to_o she_o by_o our_o lord_n be_v absolute_o a_o impossible_a thing_n and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o never_o see_v more_o then_o mere_o what_o he_o be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o at_o every_o several_a time_n but_o that_o be_v so_o very_a much_o that_o the_o least_o part_n thereof_o suffice_v to_o make_v i_o remain_v all_o amaze_v and_o my_o soul_n to_o be_v very_o much_o improve_v towards_o the_o undervalue_v and_o disesteem_n of_o whatsoever_o thing_n may_v be_v in_o this_o world_n i_o will_v be_v extreme_o glad_a if_o i_o can_v tell_v how_o to_o give_v some_o little_a part_n of_o the_o least_o of_o that_o which_o i_o know_v to_o be_v understand_v but_o i_o find_v that_o it_o be_v whole_o impossible_a for_o though_o this_o light_n which_o we_o see_v here_o and_o that_o light_n which_o be_v represent_v there_o be_v all_o of_o it_o light_n yet_o still_o there_o be_v so_o great_a a_o difference_n withal_o as_o that_o there_o be_v no_o manner_n of_o comparison_n for_o the_o claritie_n and_o brightness_n even_o of_o the_o very_a sun_n itself_o be_v a_o thing_n of_o mean_a and_o poor_a appearance_n in_o respect_n of_o this_o in_o fine_a the_o very_a imagination_n of_o man_n how_o subtle_a and_o refine_v soever_o it_o may_v be_v be_v yet_o unable_a to_o reach_v to_o the_o describe_v any_o thing_n of_o
with_o a_o great_a cloud_n and_o so_o to_o become_v very_o dark_a and_o that_o so_o though_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v ever_o present_a with_o we_o yea_o so_o very_o present_a as_o that_o he_o give_v we_o our_o very_a be_v thereby_o yet_o then_o he_o be_v not_o so_o represent_v as_o to_o be_v see_v by_o we_o and_o that_o when_o the_o case_n concern_v heretic_n the_o lookingglass_n be_v direct_o break_v which_o be_v far_o worse_a then_o to_o be_v obscure_v but_o now_o there_o be_v a_o very_a great_a deal_n of_o difference_n between_o my_o see_v it_o and_o my_o relate_v it_o for_o it_o be_v no_o easy_a thing_n to_o give_v it_o well_o to_o be_v understand_v yet_o this_o have_v do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o good_a and_o have_v affect_v i_o with_o much_o pity_n and_o grief_n for_o those_o time_n wherein_o myself_o do_v obscure_v my_o soul_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o behold_v and_o see_v this_o bless_a lord_n of_o i_o it_o seem_v also_o to_o i_o that_o this_o kind_n of_o vision_n be_v very_o useful_a to_o person_n who_o be_v of_o much_o recollection_n to_o teach_v they_o a_o way_n of_o think_v of_o our_o bless_a lord_n as_o in_o the_o most_o interior_a part_n of_o their_o soul_n which_o be_v a_o consideration_n that_o will_v stick_v close_a to_o then_o and_o will_v be_v of_o much_o more_o benefit_n then_o if_o they_o be_v consider_v as_o any_o way_n our_o of_o the_o soul_n according_a to_o what_o i_o have_v say_v else_o where_o and_o it_o be_v contain_v also_o in_o some_o book_n which_o be_v write_v of_o prayer_n about_o the_o way_n how_o we_o be_v to_o seek_v almighty_a god_n in_o particular_a the_o glorious_a s._n augustin_n speak_v much_o of_o how_o almighty_a god_n be_v not_o to_o be_v seek_v either_o in_o pleasure_n or_o external_a place_n and_o that_o he_o can_v be_v no_o way_n find_v so_o well_o as_o in_o ourselves_o and_o this_o be_v certain_o the_o best_a way_n nor_o have_v we_o need_v to_o go_v further_o off_o then_o to_o our_o very_a self_n and_o much_o less_o to_o clime-up_a as_o high_a as_o heaven_n for_o this_o purpose_n for_o this_o will_v but_o distract_v the_o soul_n and_o weary_a the_o spirit_n and_o do_v we_o nothing_o near_o so_o much_o good_a i_o will_v also_o give_v a_o advertisement_n here_o to_o the_o end_n that_o if_o any_o body_n have_v any_o such_o thing_n as_o that_o he_o may_v know_v the_o better_a how_o to_o carry_v himself_o it_o happen_v in_o some_o very_a great_a rapt_n when_o the_o time_n be_v past_a wherein_o the_o soul_n remain_v in_o union_n and_o when_o all_o the_o faculty_n and_o power_n thereof_o be_v absorb_v and_o which_o last_v as_o i_o have_v say_v but_o a_o little_a while_n that_o the_o soul_n remain_v recollect_v and_o be_v not_o able_a in_o the_o exterior_a way_n to_o return_v to_o itself_o but_o those_o two_o power_n and_o faculty_n namely_o the_o understanding_n and_o memory_n remain_v as_o with_o a_o kind_n of_o frenzy_n in_o great_a disorder_n this_o i_o say_v happen_v sometime_o and_o especial_o with_o beginner_n and_o i_o have_v be_v think_v whether_o it_o may_v not_o proceed_v from_o this_o that_o our_o condition_n be_v natural_o very_o weak_a and_o not_o able_a to_o admit_v and_o endure_v so_o great_a a_o strength_n of_o spirit_n and_o that_o the_o imagination_n be_v weaken_v also_o much_o and_o i_o know_v that_o this_o happen_v to_o some_o now_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o apt_a to_o think_v that_o it_o be_v not_o ill_o to_o oblige_v they_o in_o such_o case_n as_o this_o to_o leave-off_a their_o prayer_n for_o that_o time_n and_o to_o go_v recover_v that_o afterward_o which_o they_o lose_v then_o that_o so_o all_o come_v not_o on_o together_o for_o it_o may_v chance_n prove_v a_o occasion_n of_o much_o inconvenience_n and_o of_o this_o we_o have_v experience_n and_o that_o it_o will_v fall_v out_o to_o be_v of_o better_a proof_n to_o consider_v very_o well_o how_o much_o our_o state_n of_o health_n and_o strength_n be_v able_a to_o endure_v but_o in_o all_o thing_n there_o will_v be_v need_n of_o good_a experience_n and_o of_o a_o good_a director_n for_o when_o once_o the_o soul_n be_v grow_v to_o be_v in_o these_o term_n many_o thing_n will_v come_v to_o offer_v themselves_o wherein_o there_o will_v be_v need_n enough_o of_o some_o body_n with_o who_o it_o may_v be_v fit_a to_o consider_v they_o and_o if_o any_o such_o man_n can_v not_o be_v find_v when_o he_o be_v seek_v our_o bless_a lord_n himself_o will_v not_o be_v want_v to_o he_o since_o he_o will_v not_o be_v want_v to_o i_o i_o be_v the_o wicked_a creature_n i_o be_o for_o i_o believe_v there_o be_v very_o few_o who_o be_v come_v to_o have_v experience_n of_o so_o many_o thing_n and_o if_o there_o be_v not_o experience_n it_o be_v in_o vain_a to_o think_v of_o any_o remedy_n which_o will_v not_o rather_o serve_v to_o disquiet_v and_o afflict_v the_o soul_n but_o the_o best_a be_v that_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v take_v even_o that_o trouble_n of_o we_o in_o account_n for_o some_o satisfaction_n of_o himself_o and_o therefore_o it_o will_v fallout_a to_o be_v better_o do_v to_o confer_v thereof_o as_o i_o have_v former_o say_v and_o so_o will_v it_o also_o be_v to_o proceed_v after_o this_o manner_n in_o all_o those_o thing_n whereof_o i_o be_o speak_v now_o for_o i_o see_v that_o this_o import_v very_o much_o especial_o if_o they_o be_v woman_n who_o be_v concern_v and_o that_o they_o do_v it_o with_o their_o ghostly_a father_n and_o that_o he_o also_o be_v such_o as_o be_v fit_a at_o least_o there_o use_v to_o be_v more_o woman_n than_o man_n to_o who_o our_o lord_n impart_v these_o favour_n and_o this_o i_o understand_v first_o from_o the_o holy_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n and_o i_o have_v also_o see_v myself_o that_o they_o proceed_v and_o profit_v more_o in_o this_o way_n of_o spirit_n than_o man_n do_v but_o he_o give_v excellent_a reason_n for_o his_o opinion_n which_o need_v not_o be_v insert_v here_o for_o they_o all_o be_v in_o favour_n of_o woman_n be_v one_o day_n in_o prayer_n there_o be_v sudden_o represent_v to_o i_o but_o it_o be_v without_o my_o see_v any_o thing_n form_v and_o yet_o it_o be_v with_o a_o very_a extraordinary_a kind_n of_o claritie_n how_o all_o thing_n be_v see_v in_o almighty_a god_n and_o how_o he_o have_v they_o all_o in_o himself_o to_o know_v how_o to_o set_v this_o down_o be_v in_o no_o power_n of_o i_o but_o it_o remain_v deep_o imprint_v in_o my_o soul_n and_o it_o be_v one_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n that_o ever_o have_v be_v do_v i_o by_o our_o bless_a lord_n yea_o and_o of_o those_o also_o which_o put_v i_o to_o great_a confusion_n &_o shame_n when_o i_o consider_v the_o many_o sin_n which_o i_o have_v commit_v against_o he_o i_o well_o believe_v that_o if_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o let_v i_o see_v this_o vision_n at_o some_o other_o time_n of_o my_o life_n or_o if_o they_o can_v see_v he_o now_o who_o be_v sin_v against_o he_o they_o will_v never_o have_v the_o hart_n and_o courage_n to_o do_v as_o they_o do_v it_o appear_v to_o i_o as_o i_o say_v but_o yet_o so_o as_o that_o i_o can_v express_o affirm_v that_o i_o see_v any_o thing_n distinct_o but_o yet_o somewhat_o i_o think_v must_v needs_o have_v be_v see_v by_o i_o since_o i_o be_o able_a to_o make_v this_o very_a comparison_n but_o that_o it_o fall_v out_o to_o be_v signify_v by_o so_o delicate_a and_o subtle_a a_o way_n as_o that_o the_o understanding_n be_v not_o able_a to_o reach_v it_o or_o else_o that_o i_o have_v no_o skill_n of_o all_o those_o kind_n of_o vision_n which_o seem_v not_o to_o be_v imaginary_a but_o yet_o in_o some_o of_o these_o i_o very_o think_v that_o perhaps_o there_o may_v be_v somewhat_o of_o the_o imaginary_a or_o form_v appearance_n and_o that_o only_o the_o power_n of_o the_o soul_n be_v then_o in_o rapt_v they_o be_v not_o able_a afterward_o to_o assign_v any_o form_n in_o what_o manner_n our_o lord_n represent_v himself_o to_o they_o there_o and_o how_o he_o be_v please_v that_o they_o shall_v enjoy_v he_o but_o yet_o suppose_v it_o to_o be_v the_o divinity_n in_o the_o form_n of_o some_o bright_a diamond_n which_o be_v big_a than_o the_o whole_a world_n or_o else_o of_o some_o lookingglass_n after_o the_o manner_n of_o what_o i_o say_v before_o concern_v the_o soul_n in_o that_o other_o vision_n save_o that_o this_o be_v in_o so_o superior_a a_o kind_n of_o manner_n that_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o express_v it_o and_o that_o all_o that_o which_o we_o do_v be_v see_v