Fathers will knowne vnto men and is that partie concerning whom the Father gaue his word that he would send him into the world to saue sinners The third person in the godhead is the holy Ghost who proceedeth from the Father and from the Sonne and therefore is the Spirit of them both and he is in either of them both also both the Father and the Sonne are in him Hee is called the Spirit not so much to signifie his nature as to shew his proceeding because he is spired that is as it were breathed from the Father and from the Sonne He is called holy not onely because of the holines of his nature which is all one with the Father and with the Sonne but because he doth sanctifie that is maketh holy all those which shall be saued Rom. 1.4 All and euery outward worke of God commeth from the Father thorough the Sonne and by the holy Ghost The Father beginneth euery worke of himselfe working in and through the Sonne also in and by the holy Ghost Therefore the making and beginning of heauen and earth is intitled vnto him The Sonne worketh in and from the Father in and by the holy Ghost Therefore the redemption and Sauiour-ship goeth in his name because he tooke vnto him a bodie and a soule and so being both God man purchased our saluation and saueth vs in and from his Father in and by the holy Ghost Ioh. 4.19 The Son can doe nothing of himselfe Mat. 12.28 But if I cast out deuills by the spirit of God c. The holy Ghost worketh in and from the Father in and from the Sonne and so by himselfe finisheth euery worke of God specially the sanctifying and cleansing of them which shall bee saued and therefore he is called the sanctifier or the cleanser Thus much of the three persons in one God Now whereas the Lord saith I am thy God the meaning is I saue thee from all euill and bring thee to euerlasting blisse Gen. 15.1 But what proofe haue I that the Lord is my God He further saith Which haue brought thee out of the land of Egypt out of the house of bondage These words were indeed first spoken written vnto the children of Israel whome God deliuered out of the slauish bondage and great miserie which they had long endured vnder King Pharaoh in Egypt Now I ought to take the same words as spoken of God vnto me for as God made the Isralites to passe through the red sea and therein drowned the Egyptians so he caused me to be baptized and sprinkled with water in his name euen in the name of the Father and of the Son of the holy Ghost so by an holy sacramentall signification made me passe through the red sea of Christs blood wherein all the enemies of my saluation are as if they were drowned so disabled that vnlesse I foolishly yeelde vnto them they cannot preuaile against me Rom. 6.3 Neither did God onely giue vnto me that outward signe and seale of saluation but also when I was able to vnderstand caused mee to heare yea and to read yea and in some good measure to perceiue the gospel of his grace wherein hee proffered vnto me his gracious loue and therewithall such a portion of his heauēly blessings in Iesus Christ as should make me to be louely and pleasing in his sight But vpon what condition did God proffer this grace vnto me Vpon this condition Exod. 20.3 Thou shalt haue none other God before my face These words being considered together with the verse next before doe containe a double condition First that I shall take the Lord to be my God Secondly that I shall haue none other to be my God beside him How should I take the Lord to bee my God By performing these foure duties First to be continually mindefull that I am before his face Gen. 17.1 Secondly to esteem his fauour to be my only felicity and therefore aboue all things to loue him and desire to enioy his fauourable kindnesse Luk. 14.26 Thirdly to be alwaies verie fearefull of displeasing him Prou. 28.14 Fourthly to settle all my trust and confidence in him Ier. 17.5.6.7 How haue I performed these duties First I haue not been mindfull of Gods presence for both being alone and in companie my minde hath been so far from that dutie as if there had been in my beleefe no God at all Secondly I haue all my life long more esteemed loued and desired worldly pleasures and profits yea vain toies and trifles then the fauour of God I haue a farre off thought vpon God as of a thing at the furthermost ende of all the world and therefore mine affection was alwaies wedded vnto things which seemed to be nearer vnto me though indeed nothing can bee so neere vnto me as he is for in him I liue and mooue and haue my beeing Thirdly I had now and then some small feare of God but it suddenly vanished away and therefore I plunged my selfe into a sea of sinne not making conscience of one thought word or deed among a thousand Fourthly I had no right trust in God for that can not bee without the feare of God I oftentimes vsed vnwarrantable meanes to helpe my selfe And so doe none that rightly trust in God This hath been the inside of my life not only before but also euer since I entred into the Ministerie And withall mine heart I wish that I had no fellowes for I am afraid that I haue very many If such there be I humbly intreate them to take true knowledge in how dangerous a state they are I trust that God hath pardoned my parents and bringers vp The ground of all my miserie next after the euill inclination which I brought with mee into this world was the euill seasoning of mine heart in my tender yeares Beeing a little boy I was trained to delight in a dogge a cat therfore I remember the dogges name yet and haue loued dogges and cattes euer since Those and other vaine things I was enured to loue when mine heart should haue been taken vp and filled with the loue of God I was feared with bugg-beares and sprits when I should haue been framed to feare God Also I was accustomed to take a pride in this and that to be angrie and reuengefull against some one thing or other to mocke scorn misse-call and speake naughtie words vnto such or such an one Thus commonly for ought that I know are the hearts of children seasoned and thus their soules are died in the blacke colour of hell Beeing inwardly thus behaued I was a little taught outward religion That is to say the Lords Prayer and the Creede by rote to goe to Church vpon Sabbath dayes and heare seruice yea after that I could read to answer the Minister in the saying of Psalmes c. Hauing done thus what heard seruice yea helped to say seruice said the Lords Prayer and the Creede and so forth Oh! I thought I
c. God is a single spirit farre excelling the singlenes of any Angel for an Angel as also the soule of man or woman hath three wants of perfect singlenesse First in euery angel there is a beeing for it is a certain seuerall thing There is also in the same angel a possibilitie to bee changed into some other thing yea into nothing because the angel is vnder God and God can doe vnto it whatsoeuer hee will But there is no possibilitie of change in God because hee is vnder none Secondly euery angel is that which it is in seuerall and thereby he differeth and is knowne from all other angels And yet the same kinde of nature whereby hee is that which he is is also in other angels But the nature of God whereby hee is that which he is is wholly and onely in himselfe and therefore it is altogether one and the same with that which he is Thirdly in an Angell vnto his spirituall nature diuerse things are added and ioyned which may also be taken or put away as wisedome holynesse power c. But all perfections are in God as in the fountaine and though they seeme diuerse vnto vs yea some appeare to be quite contrary one to the other as most seuere iustice and most pitifull mercie yet all these things in God are but only one thing and that is his most single nature essence and beeing The truth of this we may in some sort perceiue by the shining sun for it appeareth vnto our eies to bee a very single pure thing all that we can see in it is nothing els but light most exceeding pure cleare and peircing light yet many sundry vertues are in this light It shineth it heateth it quickneth man beast foule fish fruit yea it seemeth to worke contraries as softning wax hardening clay These and many other things worketh the single light of the shining sunne Much more excellent is the God that made the Sunne In his most single nature is all vertue abilitie and efficacie His name be blessed Amen God is a durable spirit not onely without ending for so hath he made Angels and soules yea and so he will make the bodies of men women and children to be after the resurrectiō but also the Lord God is without beginning Therefore Dauid saith vnto him Psalm 19.2 From euerlasting to euerlasting thou art God God is vnmeasurable that is of such an exceeding infinitenes that he filleth yea surpasseth the whole compasse of heauen and earth Ier. 23.24 2. King 8.27 Yet not so that one part of him is one where and an other els where but God is wholly in all the whole world and wholly in euery part and place of the world Then why is it said that God is in heauen And why are we willed to lift vp our hearts towards heauen when we pray vnto him Because his pleasure is to manifest himselfe in glory cheifely in heauen and from heauen Why doth the Bible say that God is with good folke and not with bad Because he doth graciously acquaint himselfe with those that serue him but he will not be knowne that he is in the company of naughty people because he hateth their behauiour Yet he is where they are heedfully marketh all that they thinke say or doe purposing to call them to an account and to give iudgement vpon them accordding to the practise of their liues God is mightie most mighty almightie He is well able to doe any worke of power either by himselfe without meanes as hee made the world or by means as he drownd the world with water Sometime his pleasure is to worke by meanes but aboue the nature power of the meanes as when he clensed a man frō the leprosie by the water of the riuer Iordan 2. Kin. 5.14 Sometime he stoppeth the power of the meanes as when three of his seruants were by a tyrant cast into a most hot burning fierie furnace for hee tooke such order that the extreame burning heat had no power vpon them though it mischeiued those which put them into the furnace Dan. 3 God can work in what measure of power he will The least measure of his power is stronger then all the power of man 1. Cor. 1.25 Hee is able to make the least bit of bread to giue so much nourishment as a whole loafe It pleaseth him sometime to work more by one man then by another yea more by some one then by many other 1. Cor. 15.10 The power of God is endlesse limited onely by his owne will for whatsoeuer his pleasure is to doe that he doth Psal 135.6 This the poore leperous man beleeued when hee said vnto the sonne of God Matth. 8.2 Lord if thou wilt thou canst make me cleane whereunto he graciously answered saying I will be thou clean and presently the Lord touching him with his hand the foule disease was cleane gone God is wise he onely is wise Rom. 16.27 The wisedome of Angels and men is his gift It is hee that giueth wisedome to the wise and knowledge vnto them that know vnderstanding Dan. 2.21 There is no number of his vnderstanding it is endles Psal 147.5 From the beginning of the world he foreknew all things which should come to passe euen vntill the ende c. Act. 15.18 He knew what was the very best way to be takē in making continuing altering doing or suffering any thing Psal 104.24 Though he may doe what he will because he is the most high Soueraigne Lord of all things yet he doth nothing hee suffereth nothing without most excellent good reason and yet I must not thereupon presume to sinne for as hee hath reason to suffer a man to sinne so hee hath reason moouing him to punish the partie that sinneth yea such reason that S. Peter saith the righteous be scarcely saued 1. Pet. 4.18 God will beat sinne out of them before they die God is holy most holy altogether holy pure cleane and free from any staine of euill He cannot be tempted with euill Iam. 13. Then how came it to passe that so many angels sinned and turned to be deuils Also how came mā to be a sinner God made the Angels and the first man and woman very holy and well able to haue kept themselues so if they would Yea but why did he suffer them to sinne seeing that sinne is most contrarie vnto his holy nature Because he thereupon took occasiō to shew his dreadfull iustice in punishing some and the most wonderfull ioyning of mercy and iustice in sauing others The iustice of God requireth that euery Angel man woman and child be tried and iudged by that which is in them whether it be righteousnesse or sinne Rom. 2.11 the righteous to be saued and the sinner damned So hee condemned all the sinning Angels and so he will condemne a great many of Adams children He might haue cast them al away because they are a guiltie corrupted brood not only children of a traytor
Trent with whom I had formerly bin for my windie disease and by meanes of M. Iohn Batte Vicar of Newarke now deceased my old schoolemaster had receiued much fauour from him he sent me word that as he could cōiecture by my letter for I was not able to ride vnto him I was in danger of some deadly fretting in my kidnies by reason of grauell stones which was not without difficulty to be preuented in a setled course of Physicke I had little money to bestow and no great minde to take bodily medicine before my soule were cured by the physicke of Iesus Christ crucified The greiuous disease of my water increasing and mine olde splennitiue windinesse filling my bodie and head together with an extreame faintnesse the 19. day of Aprill I did with very fearefull conditions bind my selfe vnto God that I would diligently endeauour to order my selfe according vnto these rules following My first rule First I must be alwaies mindefull that I the worst of all sinners am before the face of god who seeth the whole setled wicked behauiour of mine heart who hath all my euill thoughts words and deedes in perfect remembrance whose holines extreamly hateth all manner of sinne whose righteousnesse will not suffer any sinne to be vnpunished whose prayer is able to torment me euerlastingly with most vnspeakeable paine in body and soule Hereupon I must conceiue that great is the wrath whereunto I haue prouoked God and that therefore great is the vengeance which iustly he may powre vpon me for euer I must labour that this double conceit may worke in my heart a double affection sorrow for the displeasure of God and feare of his vengeance This is the way to breake mine heart and a broken heart is a sacrifice vnto God Psal 51.17 Inward humblenesse cannot but outwardly shew it selfe and so it will bee the more easily setled and the more deepely rooted in mine heart and soule I must verie carefully reforme my vaine minde vnsad countenance and talkatiue tongue els I cannot be rightly humbled in the sight of God My second rule Secondly I must thinke vpon the great mercie mighty power and most ioyfull blisse which God in Iesus Christ proffereth vnto all those that will forsake sinne beleeue the Gospel mercie to forgiue their sinnes power to free them from the inclination of sinne and blisse to fill them full of all delightfull pleasure for euermore Hereupon I must striue to haue a most hungry and thirsty desire of the grace of God My third rule Thirdly I must giue al diligence that by prayer I may obtaine of God the spirit of grace To this purpose I must bee alwaies prayingly and crauingly affected I must impart my goods vnto the poor that I may haue the help of their prayers Luk. 16.9 Also I must entreate all those which seeme to be acquainted with God that they will pray for me vnto him Iam. 5.16 Had I any warrant to intreate the Saints in heauen to pray for me I would gladly doe it But I haue none My beleefe is that no glorified soule no not the blessed virgin-mother intermedleth with any businesse in this world And I am fully perswaded that it is the safer way so to beleeue It seemeth vnto me that Romane catholiks of the Popes religion vnder colour of in treating Saints to pray for them do indeed worship them call vpon them make vowes and offer spirituall sacrifices vnto them as vnto so many he-gods and she-gods I beseech the Lord God to inlighten their minds and rectifie their affections according vnto true holines and pure deuotion Amen Amen I must duely and deuoutly pray vnto God at least three times euery day I haue great need to pray euery houre because of the hardnesse of mine heart and deathfulnesse of my bodie I must oftentimes so farre as my weake bodie will endure pray fasting and so long as I am able humbly kneeling I must in prayer speake vnto God very leasurely and reuerently I must so earnestly mind that I speake vnto him as I were face to face with him When I beginne any set prayer I will worship the Lord my God most humbly lifting vp my minde towards his glorious maiestie in heauen and bowing downe my body towards the ground so rest vpon my knees My prayer early in the morning O Almightie most blessed and glorious Lord God I a most wicked sinneful sinner heartily acknowledging that thou in most wonderfull goodnesse hast made mee a liuing soule in thine own likenes hast proffered eueralasting saluation vnto me hast long time endured my rebellious wickednesse and hitherto preserued me aliue doe humbly beseech thee to giue grace that I may henceforth vntill the end and in the ending of my life very zealously glorifie thy name in the practise of true repentance Graunt the same grace I heartily pray thee vnto euery man woman and child that wanteth it that all people in all places may ioyfully praise thee thorough thine onely Sonne Iesus Christ To whom with thee ô Father and with the holy Ghost three persons one only Lord God be all praise honour glorie worship and humble seruice now and for euermore Amen About nine of the clocke in the forenoone I must pray thus Oh Almighty Lord God who louest holines and hatest sin and therefore hast prepared euerlasting blisse in heauē for thy holy seruants endles torment in hel for sinners I the worst of all sinners doe humbly beseech thee that for thy onely sonne Iesus Christs sake thou wilt giue me thy grace of true repentance saith vnfained that so I may obtaine of thee forgiuenesse of all my sinnes and the lowest place among all them which shall be saued Amen O Lord innumerable sinnes haue come out of mine heart I have filled the world with the cursed fruits of my wickednesse I beseech thee to put al my sinnes quite away out of thy sight and out of the minds of all people that thou mayest be no longer displeased nor any man woman or child any more harmed by meanes of me O Lord I haue caused much euill vnto many folke and the good which I should haue caused I haue wickedly neglected I beseech thee to giue vnto euery one which hath been any way harmed or neglected of mee a large recompence and so farre as may be to work the same recompence vnto them by mee the residue by those meanes which thou knowest to be fittest for that purpose O Lord many people haue beene beneficiall vnto mee because thy will was that they should be so I humbly thanke thee for it beseeching thy gracious goodnesse to giue a bountifull reward vnto euerie one that hath benefited mee in deede word or desire and to make mee so thankefull vnto them as a right Christian ought to be O Lord if any haue either in way of friendship towards mee or in manner of enmitie against mee or by any meanes touching me displeased thee I beseech thee to pardon them
againe Afterward beeing very much wearied I had a minde to goe and refresh my selfe in company the bane of Sabbath day keeping and went first to one house then to another ending the day very heathenishly Monday after supper my minde pretended reason to draw me abroad therefore out I went To ease my strangurie I dranke at one house much beere at an other whaie in stead of beere Thursday a great heate with a deadly faintnesse came vpon me my left kidney was sore pained and thereupon I was grieuously tormented in the passage of my water The 29. of May beeing Sabbath I took a course â—ore easie for my selfe and as I verily beleeue more profitable for the parish In the forenoone I preached a sermon and at euening prayer after the second lesson I asked a youth who was well prouided to answer three or fowre questions touching the foundation of Religion Then I made those short answers plaine and prooued them out of the Bible in halfe an houres space I humbly aduise all young Preachers that they will not imagine they can build Ierusalem suddenly for sudden buildings will soone fall downe I maruell how it commeth to passe that in some places euen where learned Preachers haue killed themselues with sore labours the greater number of people are grossely ignorant yea I say it againe and can prooue it very grosly ignorant I trust I am vnder protection and that maketh me the bolder to speak my minde in the feare of God and loue of my Countrey The common sort is much neglected for neither matter of doctrine nor manner of speach is fitted vnto their lowe and small capacitie Most people for some three quarters of an houre if they vnderstand the words and perceiue the matter concerning their saluation to be plainely prooued out of the booke of God which for ought I know is of greater reuerence with them then with many of higher degree and greater vnderstanding I say if they bee plainely and briefly taught out of Gods booke they will giue very diligent eare But if the Preacher confound their vnderstanding or be longer then ordinarie they leaue all and thinke thus When will yonder man haue done he hath no reason to make an ende The next Sabbath the fift of Iune I did follow the same order which I tooke the Sabbath before Thursday following I was drawne to a feast and so into much sinne for no sawce is so common at a feast as sinne Sinne maketh all the company merrie Sathan also hath his factors who beginne some one or other vngodly kind of merriment I am naturally such a one yea worse then the worst of them that are so disposed yet this I say While you liue blesse you froÌ„ those which are speciall ringleaders in matter of vnholy pastime for the deuil himselfe setteth them a worke Friday I dined with certaine strangers and so fell into forgetfulnes of God afterward comming into my chamber I prayed thus O Lord God how is it possible for him which seeth thee not to keep company with thee I beleeue that I am before thy face what aileth me then that I do not professe and shew foorth this my beleefe because there is no company to be had with most people if this beleefe be acted put into practise I my selfe should take it for an vncouth thing if an other in my companie should appeare to present himselfe before thy face Our disposition abhorreth to bee awed our mindes are full of vanitie wee are like vnto foolish schollers that loue not to haue their schoolmaster in their companie yea we are worse then they for when their master is with them though it be sore against their wil yet they acknowledge his presence and if he be a wise man tempering masterly grauitie with fatherly gentlenesse he shall in time winne those rude ones to be glad of his companie and very reuerently to loue him as the parent of their good education So wouldest thou graciously worke vpon vs if we would acknowledge thy presence but this is quite contrarie to the bent of our hearts O good Lord I beseech thee to be mercifull vnto vs. Amen That day in the afternoone I went to Church to bury an olde man named Richard Duke and thence I went into the town where beeing in companie I forgat God and what any man perceiued in my behauiour I knowe not Thence I came home and after some idle communication with some which I found in the house comming into my chamber my spirit was so ashamed to speake vnto God that I went prayerlesse to bedde The morrow beeing Whitsunday-eue I was so grieuously tormented that I dranke besides much beere foure quarts of water Whitsunday one preached in my place both forenoone and afternoone Munday by reason of ouerfull diet taken the day before the winde cholike began in my bowels which held mee all day and all night in sore paine yea though I vsed both purges and clisters it hung vpon me welnigh all the weeke following I must not tell how vnpatiently how abominably I behaued my selfe as I laie tormented with that fit O most holy Lord forgiue mee I beseech thee and of thine exceeding great mercy free me from the wicked bondage of my sinnes Amen Trinitie Sunday I should haue preached a sermon at Kirk-Ireton some eight miles from Derbie where one M. Storer sometime a baker in London hath giuen a sermon to be preached and certaine monie distributed that daie yearely for euer whether because the towne of Derbie is bound to see that worke performed I had beene sent as I remember foure times But my filthie strangurie now so vexed me that I could not ride Wherefore tarying at home I preached twise to mine own charge Were I able I would giue so much vnto the parish of Alhallowes in Derbie for euer as should keepe their owne Minister at home among them for it is a great company of people and hath great neede of continuall carefull guidance in the way of God The sixe and twentieth of Iune beeing Sabbath though in the morning I was sore troubled with the strangury yet God of his mercy inabled me to preach in the forenoone and catechize in the afternoone He that had seene how I studied mondaie and tuesday for matter of prayer and Psalmes vnto God in desire hope of deliuerance out of the bondage of sinne and after all that how quite contrarily I bent my course would verily be perswaded that he had seene not one man but two men in one outward likenesse the one with many teares pitifully crauing mercie at the hands of God and the other turning his backe to God and running away from him Tuesday euening I was at a place in the towne prophanely pleasing my selfe Beeing returned home and sitting downe in my chamber my minde left mee and went backe to the same place againe At last with much adoe I started vp and falling downe vpon my knees before the face of God
way sufficient for thee Most holy Lord this I verily beleeue therfore in the name of Iesus Christ hencefoorth I will wholly endeauour to please thee Amen The last day of Iulie beeing Sabbath though I was sore tormented I had no remedy but needs must preach my selfe for neither was I prouided of any supply and a Churchwarden came to tell me the parish tooke it in displeasure that I my selfe performed not my dutie That day I preached twise to the great hurt of my body which appeared by many little shreads of skinne which came from me in my water Monday the first of August such a drousie windie weakenes hung vpon me specially in my breast and head that many times I was ready to fall and had much adoe to stand a painfull sleepines was stil comming vpon mee whether I did read or write Monday night I beeing in bed and fallen into a slumber I was so strangely taken as neuer before Some thing seemed to be vpon my backe so to presse me downe that my face was held hard to the pillowe and much winde brake out at the right eare Being very troublously waked I called vpon my good Lord for mercy I perceiued a shiuering windines offering to arise out of my thighes I tooke this by ouerforcing my selfe in preaching vpon the Sabbath day if I be not much deceiued It pleased God that afterward I had some quiet rest but towards morning the cruel strangury came vpon me Alas that there is no remedy for such a filthy tormenting disease a Physitian writing vnto me among other words said thus Know that your disease is incurable The seauenth of August being Sabbath my disease still tormenting me I prayed and vowed thus O most holy and righteous good and gracious Lord God I the most foule and filthy sinner of all the world do here make a complaint of my selfe vnto thy glorious and blessed maiesty that I am not fit to liue in thy sight much lesse to serue thee in the gospel of thy Sonne because I do not walk with thee nor keep my selfe in thy companie as thy seruants doe O be mercifull vnto me I beseech thee I haue heretofore made many vowes that I would enforce my selfe to waite vpon thee But woe is me I haue not kept them now I most humbly pray thee that all my former vowes may be shut vp in this which I am minded to make vnto thee And this it is This day two seuerall preachers will supply my place I beseech thee to blesse them with holy matter hallowed affections powerfull vtterance good successe If I do not from this day forward very conscionably endeauour to hold my selfe to the practise of my foure Rules I wil the next Sabbath day quite put my selfe out of the ministerie yea and openly professe vnto the world that therefore I doe it because my conscience doth certainly iudge mee not to bee fit to preach the Gospell Good Lord this is my vowe If I either reforme my selfe from this day forward or for default thereof leaue the ministerie I breake not my vow If I do neither the one nor the other let me be euerlastingly â—â—rsaken of Iesus Christ If I conscionably reform my selfe by thy grace and so continue with thy fauour in the ministerie O that thou wilt be mercifull vnto me touching this horrible disease Then shall I holily and wholly betake my selfe to serue thee as mine hearts desire is to doe If I reforme not my selfe and therefore as my vow requireth leaue the ministerie I aske no more but the destruction of my sin to thy good pleasure and glorie Now blessed Lord I offer vp this vowe vnto thee for an euerlasting deed and thereunto vnchangeably say Amen Be it neuer changed but euer in force betweene thy blessed Maiestie and me Amen That day some came vnto me and what with one matter what with an other caused me to talke at randome as though I had not been in the companie of God When they were gone I cryed God mercy promised to be more mindefull of his presence and fearefull of his displeasure At night some came to me againe and talking of many things mooued me to passe my bounds but not so much as before yet all this while I was not entred into my vowed practise This I did fully perswade my selfe that if I could in companie be mindfull of God and shunne the displeasing of his maiestie I were in a verie faire forwardnes of reformation Mondaie the eight of August I held my selfe vnto my prayers and businesse carefully thinking how I should avoid the great danger of companie and talking I prayed vnto the Lord thus O good Lord thou seest that my disposition is hardened in sinne and most vntoward vnto thy seruice Thou seest also how apt other folke are to further mine vntowardnesse to hinder my repentance I beseech thee that for thine only Sonnes sake thou wilt powerfully breake me from mine vntowardnes prepare me in thy feare to shunne the manifold wickednesse which is one way or another caused by companying and talking Blessed Lord true it is as I take harme by others so they take harm by me for thy mercies sake be mercifull vnto vs and keepe vs from causing any harme one to another Amen Aman. Betweene tenne and eleuen of the clock there came some vnto me about a matter of vnkindnes between certain parties which had not then been called into question if I had concealed a report which in writing was giuen vnto me and which I was verie confidently willed to shewe vnto whome I would It is likely that many an one would haue thought himselfe well warranted to shew it specially if it had concerned him so neerely as it did me I shewed it not but onely told a certaine part of it which caused the comming of those men vnto me After that we had talked of the businesse and they were gone I confessed and prayed thus vnto God O most gracious Lord I did euill in receiuing that paper and worse in speaking of any thing written in it I beseech thee to pardon me and to giue grace that I may neuer hereafter speake any thing of that matter but onely my bounden thanks praise vnto thee through Iesus Christ thy Sonne my Lord and Sauiour Amen In the afternoone vpon occasion I praied thus O most gracious Lord thou seest that by thy goodnesse I goe not out to seeke company I perceiue it is great folly so to doe If any come vnto me and enter into friuolous talke I cannot tell what I should doe Thy spirit saith that in the multitude of words there wanteth not sinne Pro. 10.19 And what great losse of precious time commeth vnto men by vaine idle communication I know by experieÌ„ce to my great griefe Most mercifull Lord thou hauing brought me thus farre and broken me from seeking companie from ioyning in emptie words vouchsafe to magnifie thy mercy in making me to preuaile against this impediment