CHOICE CHANCE AND CHANGE OR Conceites in their Colours Imprinted at London for Nathaniell Fosbrooke and are to be sold at his shop in Pauls Churchyard at the signe of the Helmet 1606. TO THE READER IF your choise chaunce to bee good change it not if your conceit chance to chuse amisse allowe it not If it carry a good colour and the cloth be naught esteem it not but if it be good and you conceite it not change your humor but keepe your choise In briefe here are conceits of diuerse colours some in graine and none but will bide the weather but if you be in loue here is a lesson for your learning where you may find passion put to her patience wit to his whirligigge the foole to his part and the better conceite to his best corner many wild Geese flie in their owne feathers and a tame duck is a pretie fowle In som there is nothing so good but may be mended nor so ill but may bee well taken kind fellowes and honest wenches I know will not be angry and if any man be out of his wits God send him well into them againe and so hoping that good conceites will chuse the best and leaue the worst I will change kind thankes for kind acceptance and so rest as I find cause Insert these words into the beginning of the eight leafe before the end of the Booke I could be glad of your fau c. A Dialogue after a friendlie greeting vpon a sodaine meeting betweene Arnofilo and Tidero as they trauailed vpon the way betwixt Mount Ierkin and the great City at the foot of the wood in the long valley Ar. TIDERO Well met of all the men in the world I would neuer haue thoght to haue seene you in these parts why how many thousand yeeres since I saw you last Tidero Not many thousand what am I become a spirite that you wonder at mee this is as good as a good yeer on you how long haue you been away and how haue you done since yesternight is a yeere or two such a time of absence as if one should come out of his graue to maze the world with miracles I must confesse I haue beene abroade and haue seene more then I haue eaten and drunke more then hath done mee good but what of that all is well that ends well and therefore hoping that you will leaue your wondering in honest kindnesse tell me how you doe and haue done euer since I saw you Ar. Sometime well and sometime so so meate whole but Tid But where is now the old shrug at that wicked but an old mezill will haue a misers tricke if you had bin where I haue bin and endured that I haue don you would leaue your shrinking of your shoulder at the burthen of ease Ar. Why but tell me hast thou been a trauailer Tid I haue walked a little ouer the great water some ten thousand of miles and yet haue found the waye home againe Ar. And for ought I see thou art welcome home and no doubt but many of thy friends will be glad to see thee for my selfe I am glad euen with all my hart to see thee so wel Tid You are glad of your eiesight and so I think are many more that after the common fashion carrye the name of friends but Ar. Tush I praye thee leaue thy But I doubte thou hast mette with some vnkinde kindred fained friende hollowe companion cogging Rascall or dogged pesaunte that hath giuen you a dry salutation bidden you to a hūgry breakfast that you are not in full true charity with all the world But put away melancholie let the Diuell goe hang himselfe one honest man is worth a hundred beggers and for my poore state thou knowest it and such as it is take parte with it goe home with mee and staie till I bidde thee goe I protest I shall bee glad of thee and for my little wealth I had rather spend it on such a companion then leaue it to a sight of Churles for thou knowest I haue no store of Heires and therefore I pray thee bee let vs be merry and let vs liue togither Tid Why how now doe you take me for a woman that you come vpon mee with a ballad of Come liue with me and be my Loue well losse of time is but ventered ware and the gaine of repentance but the greefe of vnderstanding but I will hope the best that I haue now founde a man whose breathe is not poisoned Ar. Poisoned man God forbid but say where with all doest thou meane Tid With deceit lying dissembling in effect all one kind of poison which in these days is as cōmon among men as painting among women Ar. Fy vpon it talke not of it for my wife she I am sure vseth not the one and for my self God blesse me from the other But leaue tricks to trickers and tell me I pray thee in a word what hast thou seen in thy trauaile Tid In a word variety I can not in one word better expresse the sum of all for indeed I haue seen much much variety in that I haue seene Ar. As how I pray thee Tid I haue seene the greate water called the Sea to which compared the greatest Riuer is but a little Channell and the greatest flood except that which was in the time of Noah is but as a dish of water the taste of which water is salte and in this water liue a whole worlde of straunge fishes of which I haue seen some very great some not so great and some far lesse but as vpon the Land so in the Sea I saw the great eat vp the little a Whale would hunt a whole skull of Herings and swallow down a number of them The Porpoise would hunt the Samon and the Shad the Seale would feed vpon the Whiting but the Whale would take order with a world of small fishes and so you see vpon the land among the fowles of the ayr the Eagle vpon the Phesant or the Poulte the Faulcon vpon the Mallard or the Partridge the Hobby vpon the Larke and so still the great feede vppon the small ones so in beasts the Wolfe vpon the sheepe the dog vpon the hare the Fox vpon the Lamb the greater euer makes his pray vpon the lesse and yet as in birds and beasts so in fishes haue I obserued that the sword fish and the Dolphin will be the death of a Whale a little Iacke of a Marlin will be on the neck of a Partridge and a little dog will put downe a great Beare Ar. Yea but they can neuer do it but when they haue them at aduantage Tid That is vnderstood but they doe so how euer they catche them at it Ar. Yea they do indeed but how they do it that would be knowne Tid It is not for me to looke after for I will neyther flie into the Ayr to aske the birds nor diue into the sea to aske the fishes nor
be a beast on the land to learne a note of their nature and yet there comes much good by them Ar. As how I pray thee Tid Why when a Whale is wounded he will runne to the shore and then the fishermen make much mony of his oyle when a Marlin killeth a Partridge the faulconer fares the better and when the dog pulls downe the Beare it makes sport for the master of the game Ar. Thou saist true but let them alone with their sports tell me what els sawest thou at the sea Tid I saw how woodden horses went with the wind which carried men and Merchandize ouer the water from one land to another but sometimes with a sodaine tempest man horse ouerthrown vpon a Rock and the goods all flote or drownd somtime man horse and ware through a leake sink all into the sea somtime swallowed in a sand and sometime vpon a sodaine one fall vpon another and by fire and sword one or both fall to destruction these horses were called Shippes Pinnaces Hoyes and such like and let me tell you as Dauid the Prophet said he that passeth the deepe seeth the wonders of the Lord for if I should tell thee what dangers I haue escaped both by sea and land thou woldest say I were bound to praise God Ar. Thou saist well I haue heard so much of the daungers of the sea that I care not if I keepe one foot of Land but I pray thee tell me a little further of thy trauaile Tid I will tell you at sea I saw none of those toyes that I haue heard fooles talke of as Mermaides and Sirenes for they are in deede but fictions but I saw in a cleer day a great depth vnder one ship vpon a calm in a still water the tops of steeples and old stone walles which the Sea had swallowed by som great breache ouer the banks of that country and as I heard afterward in my trauaile in the drowning of those townes there perished a worlde of people and no small masse of wealth Arnofilo A pittifull Spectacle and yet we see when wealth breedeth pride GOD will send vs a sore plague but I pray thee proceede and tell me of thy further Trauaile Tid I will when I first arriued on shore with some other of the Shippe wherein I made my passage I beheld the Soile which was as this is replenished with grasse herbs flowers and trees and so forth and for the Fowles they did fly the Beastes did feede and men and woemen did walke and talke as we doe onely they did vary in their attire and in theyr language from vs the poore did for the most part drinke water and the ritch wine the poore fedde most vpon herbes rootes course bread and little flesh the riche vpon such Cates as the country will yeelde their cities were faire to the eie but slight for the substance their wealth great but in few mens hands their lawes stricte and well obserued the Men neither Pigmeies nor monsters their women some fair some foule but one thing I noted chiefly in the country that in euery house the inhabitants had a priuate law in their owne houses and one neighbour with an other besides the common lavves of the country Arnofilo For those in that they may bee tedious to thee to recite I will deferre them till another time but I pray thee tell mee something of the priuate lawes among them Tid Betvvixt neighbours it vvas one Lavv that euery man shoulde pay his ovvne house rent and not to trust vnto his neighbour Another Law that euery man should prouide for his owne houshold all things necessary and not to borrow of his neighbour another Lawe that no man should owe his neihbour any thing but compliments an other was that no man should be bould with his neighbours wife further then she wold let him howsoeuer the common Law woulde direct him No man should slander his neighbours wife for feare of hurting him and doing her no good No man should tell tales though true betwixt partie and partie that might mooue strife for breaking of peace No man should denie a kindnesse promised vnto his neighbour or his wife least he should grow angry and shee take thought No man mighte make hornes at his neighbour though hee knewe him to bee a cuckolde for feare of breeding of bate betwixte a Man and his wife these with many other priuate Lawes were verie straightly and carefully obserued betwixt neighbour and neighbour besides there is one other that I had forgotten and that is this that no man might father his neighbours childe how soeuer hee had talked with the mother of it for feare to breede the Fathers vnkindenesse and the Mothers vndooing Ar. Prety Lawes and well noted I see there was some good fellowshippe among them and that they had a care of their businesse it was well for without these lawes knaues and fools might haue done much hurt what was the punishment to bee layde vppon the offendors in any of these items or priuate Lawes Tid No open matter of shame but among themselues he that did offend according to the nature of his offence was censured if he wanted wealth held a poor man if he wanted wit a foole if honesty a knaue if kindnesse a dog and so though suffered to bee a dweller yet not esteemed as a neighbour Ar Truely good so it should be as the world goes neighbours should be kind one to another or els there were no neighbourhood but tell me I pray thee a little of the priuate lawes in eache house Tid If a man were maried to a scold let her work for her liuing and pray for patience If a woman were maried to a foole let him walke to wind yarne or pick nuts If a man had a whore to his wife to think of his own case and so to conceale his sorrowe or to bee rid of his mischiefe If a woman be maried to an Eunuche to do somthing to saue his shame from knowledge No man must goe to market without money nor to dinner without meate No man must go to bed till he be sleepy nor rise till he be awake No man must looke for money till he haue earned it nor pay money till he haue it Many other such lawes or Items there are agreed vpon among them which were but tedious to recite som of which I haue forgotten but these I can well remember Ar. Prety noted I thanke thee for them with all my hart but what punishment is there appointed for the offenders in any of these agreements Tid I will tel you he that will liue with a scoulde must be laught at for his labour Shee that is wife to a fool liues in suspition of God forbid Hee that will liue with a whore must wear a greate cap Shee that is married to an Eunuch muste goe to phisick for the greene sicknes He that goes to market without mony must come home without meate Hee that dines
without meate must feed vpon fasting He that goes to bed til he be sleepy must lie tumble till he be weary and he that riseth ere he be wake must bee held for a mad man Hee that lookes for mony he knowes not why must haue it he knowes not when and hee that will paie it ere hee haue it muste bee wondered at of all the worlde Ar. Gramercy good wagge for thy good noates pretty laws and pretty punishments if tt were worse it would not bee so well for Scolds and whores and fooles and cuckolds would be cut of order for pride if they were not taken downe with some trick And to tell a truth it is requisite that a man shold not bee so lazy as to goe to bed ere hee bee sleepy nor so madde as to rise in a dreame so foolish to goe to market without monye or so peeuish as to dine without meat or so childish as for to look for mony without desart and to paie it before hee haue it why it is a thing impossible and therfore the Agreements are good I like them well pittie but they should be kepte But I pray thee tell me a little further of thy trauell in that country or any other Tid I will tell you for the greate men I durst not look too greatly at them for fear their greatnes would haue too greate an eie at my looking onely I sawe they were wel proportioned strong limmed manlike faces wore good cloathes rode on fat horses pinched not theire owne bellies nor were not afraide of a cuppe of wine kept their cuntries in peace and liued in a league of greate loue this was all that I there noted amonge the greate ones and for the name of the Countrie as I heard it was called Terra Straue Ar. I find it not in the mappe by that name but t is no matter on with thy discourse Tid For the meaner sort of people yet not the basest for those are alikeeuery where Roges will begge beggars will not be bashfull fooles wil crie and dogs will barke and therefore let them passe but for the better sort I found them good fellowes of what condition soeuer Male or female Learned or vnlearned there would none be out for his hand in a helth howsoeuer they had fared the Schollar would dispute vpon none but the full pointe and the vnlearned by Experience had a carouse at the highest Ciuill cariage and fair conditioned drink and spende and paie like right lads and not quarrell till the cuppe had made a conquest of al the coÌ„pany theÌ„ ipse hee qui the which leapte ouer the hedge and fel in the ditch A B C non habet P how rousts the henne when the cock is a sleep t is twelue a clock and god giue you good night Ar. But is it possible was ther such good good fellowship much good do their hearts and yet t is pitty ther was not more dauncing and lesse drinke for then their heeles might haue held vp their heads and their waies might haue been fit for a better worke but so long as they went all one waie I like the better of their trauell Tid Oh sir a little nap makes them as fresh as if they had neuer been salted and daunce and sing and if need bee a better thinge tushe they are a gallant people the men were good musitians and there wenches would sing excellently but for that I had no long time to tary there I could not obserue much more then I haue told you and therefore if the time wil giue vs leaue I will tell you what I saw in an other countrie which I next fell vpon Ar. I praie thee doe thou canst not please mee better Tid I will tell you crossing but a little riuer and it was ouer a short narrow stone bridge I fell into a Country that had another name which mighte well be for in many things me thoughte it differed in nature Ar. As how I praie thee tell me Tid First for the soyle it was more full of sand and Dust and not so fair and fat as the neighbour country yet had it no lack of wood nor Corne nor fruite For the country people I meane the meanest sort fed much of garden commodities which with helpe of a little oyle and scarce sweet butter made them dishes of meat fit for their stomackes and their drinke was moste either vpon plaine water of the brooke or vpon Apple water otherwise called Sider which which was in a manner their wine their villages large and their houses strong though nothing stately the people most plaine without welt or guarde or almoste wit or vnderstanding more then to know their owne the way to the Church and the field and the Taphouse if there were any in the Towne the way to the Market and home againe to plough and plant and sowe and reape to thrash and grind to make hard bread and eat it with strong teeth to make Loue illfauouredly and to get children to furnish the parish these were the main points of their conditions for to talke of more then a Codshead would trouble a fisherman the shephearde more then of a sheepshead nor the ploweman further then his tillage nor the Butcher more then his Bullock for if you did goe any further you did but trouble their capacities but for those matters you should hear them talke so sauourly that if you did want witt to consider how soone those small Cunnings woulde bee learned you would haue been buried in a dungheape ere you could get out of the cleane oh how the fisherman would discourse of his angle his line his cork his lead his bait his net his grinne his leape his weere and I know not what his obseruing of time day and night his patience to attend his crafte in drawing his baite along the streame his dressing of his baite to drawe the fish to it his playing with the fish when he hadde him his hoising of him out of the water and then what a messe or meate he could make of him although perhappes it prooued all but a Gudgin but if it were a Codshead his lippes would bee worth the licking and in this was his Element heere was his study and in these matters of little moment woulde hee spen d the whole spirit of his vnderstanding With whome although it were no greate hurte for to loose a little time yet it was some pleasure for to heare him and besides to noate his kinde of pride in his poore trade The Sheepheard he would so talke of his Rammes and his Weathers of his Ewes and his Lambs his hogs and his sheerlings the big hâ—â—ne and the fine wooll the deepe side and the broad Ioines the nature of theyr breed and of their feed their washing their shearing their marking their folding their diseases and their medicines the Flie and the Scabbe and how to trimme them and picke them and dresse them and then with a sigh to