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A57041 The third book of the works of Mr. Francis Rabelais, Doctor in Physick containing the heroick deeds of Pantagruel the son of Gargantua / now faithfully translated into English by the unimitable pen of Sir Thomas Urwhart.; Pantagruel. English. 1693 Rabelais, François, ca. 1490-1553?; Urquhart, Thomas, Sir, 1611-1660. 1693 (1693) Wing R110; ESTC R26911 173,631 446

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another the Fellow thereupon buildeth a Conceit that he shall be the first Dispatched and the foremost in the Date of Payment and he valueth my Smiles at the rate of ready Money It seemeth unto me that I then act and personate the God of the Passion of Saumure accompanied with his Angels and Cherubims These are my Flatterers my Soothers my Claw backs my Smoothers my Parasites my Saluters my Givers of good Morrows and perpetual Orators which makes me verily think that the supreamest Height of Heroick Vertue described by Hesiode consisteth in being a Debtor wherein I held the first degree in my Commencement Which Dignity though all Humane Creatures seem to aim at and aspire thereto few nevertheless because of the difficulties in the way and incumbrances of hard Passages are able to reach it as is easily perceivable by the ardent desire and vehement longing harboured in the Breast of every one to be still creating more Debts and the new Creditors Yet doth it not lie in the power of every one to be a Debtor To acquire Creditors is not at the Disposure of each Man's Arbitriment You nevertheless would deprive me of this sublime Felicity You ask me when I will be out of Debt Well to go yet further on and possibly worse in your Conceit may Sanct Bablin the good Sanct snatch me if I have not all my Life-time held Debt to be as an Union or Conjunction of the Heavens with the Earth and the whole Cement whereby the Race of Mankind is kept together yea of such Vertue and Efficacy that I say the whole Progeny of Adam would very suddenly perish without it Therefore perhaps I do not think amiss when I repute it to be the great Soul of the Universe which according to the Opinion of the Academicks vivifyeth all manner of things In Confirmation whereof that you may the better believe it to be so represent unto your self without any prejudicacy of Spirit in a clear and serene Fancy the Idea and Form of some other World than this take if you please and lay hold on the thirtieth of those which the Philosopher Methrodorus did enumerate wherein it is to be supposed there is no Debtor or Creditor that is to say a World without Debts There amongst the Planets will be no regular Course all will be in Disorder Iupiter reckoning himself to be nothing indebted unto Saturn will go near to detrude him out of his Sphere and with the Homerick Chain will be like to hang up the Intelligences Gods Heavens Demons Heroes Devils Earth and Sea together with the other Elements Saturn no doubt combining with Mars will reduce that so disturbed World into a Chaos of Confusion Mercury then would be no more subjected to the other Planets he would scorn to be any longer their Camillus as he was of old termed in the Hetrurian Tongue for it is to be imagined that he is no way a Debtor to them Venus will be no more Venerable because she shall have lent nothing The Moon will remain bloody and obscure For to what end should the Sun impart unto her any of his Light He owed her nothing Nor yet will the Sun shine upon the Earth nor the Stars send down any good Influence because the Terrestrial Globe hath desisted from sending up their wonted Nourishment by Vapours and Exhalations wherewith Heraclitus said the Stoicks proved Cicero maintained they were cherished and alimented There would likeways be in such a World no manner of Symbolization Alteration nor Transmutation amongst the Elements for the one will not esteem it self obliged to the other as having borrowed nothing at all from it Earth then will not become Water Water will not be changed into Air of Air will be made no Fire and Fire will afford no Heat unto the Earth the Earth will produce nothing but Monsters Titans Giants no Rain will descend upon it nor Light shine thereon no Wind will blow there nor will there be in it any Summer or Harvest Lucifer will break loose and issuing forth of the depth of Hell accompanied with his Furies Fiends and Horned Devils will go about to unnestle and drive out of Heaven all the Gods as well of the greater as of the lesser Nations Such a World without lending will be no better than a Dog-kennel a place of Contention and Wrangling more unruly and irregular than that of the Rector of Paris a Devil of an Hurly-burly and more disordered Confusion than that of the Plagues of Do●ay Men will not then salute one another it will be but lost labour to expect Aid or Succour from any or to cry Fire Water Murther for none will put to their helping Hand Why He lent no Money there is nothing due to him No body is concerned in his Burning in his Shipwrack in his Ruine or in his Death and that because he hitherto had lent nothing and would never thereafter have lent any thing In short Faith Hope and Charity would be quite banish'd from such a World for Men are born to relieve and assist one another and in their stead should succeed and be introduced Defiance Disdain and Rancour with the most execrable Troop of all Evils all Imprecations and all Miseries Whereupon you will think and that not amiss that Pandora had there spilt her unlucky Bottle Men unto Men will be Wolves Hobthrushers and Goblins as were Lycaon Bellorophon Nebuchodonosor Plunderers High-way Robbers Cut-throats Rapporees Murtherers Payloners Assass●nators lewd wicked malevolent pernicious Haters set against every body like to Ismael Metabus or Timon the Athenian who for that cause was named Misanthropos in such sort that it would prove much more easie in Nature to have Fish entertained in the Air and Bullocks fed in the bottom of the Ocean than to support or tolerate a rascally Rabble of People that will not Lend These Fellows I vow do I hate with a perfect Hatred and if conform to the pattern of this grievous peevish and perverse World which lendeth nothing you figure and liken the little World which is Man you will find in him a terrible justling Coyle and Clutter The Head will not lend the sight of his Eyes to guide the Feet and Hands the Legs will refuse to bear up the Body the Hands will leave off working any more for the rest of the Members the Heart will be weary of its continual Motion for the beating of the Pulse and will no longer lend his Assistance the Lungs will withdraw the use of their Bellows the Liver will desist from convoying any more Blood through the Veins for the good of the whole the Bladder will not be indebted to the Kidneys so that the Urine thereby will be totally stopped The Brains in the interim considering this unnatural course will fall into a raving Dotage and with-hold all feeling from the Sinews and Motion from the Muscles Briefly in such a World without Order and Array owing nothing lending nothing and borrowing nothing you would see a more
to lend to owe an Heroick Vertue Yet is not this all this little World thus lending owing and borrowing is so good and charitable that no sooner is the above-specified Alimentation finished but that it forthwith projecteth and hath already forecast how it shall lend to those who are not as yet born and by that Loan endeavour what it may to eternize it self and multiply in Images like the Pattern that is Children To this end every Member hath of the choicest and most precious of its Nourishment pare and cut off a Portion then instantly dispatcheth it downwards to that place where Nature hath prepared for it very fit Vessels and Receptacles through which descending to the Genitories by long Ambages Circuits and Flexuosities it receiveth a competent Form and Rooms apt enough both in the Man and Woman for the future Conservation and perpetuating of Humane kind All this is done by Loans and Debts of the one unto the other and hence have we this word the Debt of Marriage Nature doth reckon Pain to the Refuser with a most grievous Vexation to his Members and an outragious Fury amidst his Senses But on the other part to the Lender a set Reward accompanied with Pleasure Joy Solace Mirth and merry Glee CHAP. V. How Pantagruel altogether abhorreth the Debtors and Borrowers I Understand you very well quoth Pantagruel and take you to be very good at Topicks and throughly affectioned to your own Cause But preach it up and patrocinate it prattle on it and defend it as much as you will even from hence to the next Whitsuntide if you please so to do yet in the end will you be astonished to find how you shall have gained no ground at all upon me nor perswaded me by your fair Speeches and smooth Talk to enter never so little into the Thraldom of Debt You shall owe to none saith the Holy Apostle any thing save Love Friendship and a mutual Benevolence You serve me here I confess with fine Graphides and Diatyposes Descriptions and Figures which truly please me very well But let me tell you if you will represent unto your Fancy an impudent blustering Bully and an importunate Borrower entring afresh and newly into a Town already advertised of his Manners you shall find that at his Ingress the Citizens will be more hideously affrighted and amazed and in a greater terror and fear dread and trembling than if the Pest it self should step into it in the very same Garb and Accoutrement wherein the Tyanaean Philosopher found it within the City of Ephesus And I am fully confirmed in the Opinion that the Persians erred not when they said That the Second Vice was to Lie the first being that of owing Money For in very truth Debts and Lying are ordinarily joyned together I will nevertheless not from hence infer that none must owe any thing or lend any thing For who so rich can be that sometimes may not owe or who can be so poor that sometimes may not lend Let the occasion notwithstanding in that case as Plato very wisely sayeth and ordaineth in his Laws be such that none be permitted to draw any Water out of his Neighbour's Well until first they by continual digging and delving into their own proper Ground shall have hit upon a kind of Potters Earth which is called Ceramite and there had found no source or drop of Water for that sort of Earth by reason of its Substance which is fat strong firm and close so retaineth its Humidity that it doth not easily evaporate it by any outward excursion or evaporation In good sooth it is a great shame to choose rather to be still borrowing in all places from every one than to work and win Then only in my Judgment should one lend when the diligent toiling and industrious Person is no longer able by his labour to make any Purchase unto himself or otherwise when by mischance he hath suddenly fallen into an unexpected loss of his Goods Howsoever let us leave this Discourse and from henceforwards do not hang upon Creditors nor tie your self to them I make account for the time past to rid you freely of them and from their Bondage to deliver you The least I should in this point quoth Panurge is to thank you though it be the most I can do And if Gratitude and Thanksgiving be to be estimated and prized by the Affection of the Benefactor that is to be done infinitely and sempiternally for the love which you bear me of your own accord and free Grace without any merit of mine goeth far beyond the reach of any price or value it transcends all weight all number all measure it is endless and everlasting therefore should I offer to commensurate and adjust it either to the size and proportion of your own noble and gracious Deeds or yet to the Contentment and Delight of the obliged Receivers I would come off but very faintly and flaggingly You have verily done me a great deal of good and multiplied your Favours on me more frequently than was fitting to one of my condition You have been more bountiful towards me than I have deserved and your Courtesies have by far surpassed the extent of my merits I must needs confess it But it is not as you suppose in the proposed matter For there it is not where I itch it is not there where it fretteth hurts or vexeth me for henceforth being quit and out of Debt what Countenance will I be able to keep You may imagine that it will become me very ill for the first month because I have never hitherto been brought up or accustomed to it I am very much afraid of it Furthermore there shall not one hereafter Native of the Country of Salmigondy but he shall level the Shot towards my Nose all the back-cracking Fellows of the World in discharging of their Postern Petarades use commonly to say Voila pour les quitters that is For the quit My Life will be of very short continuance I do foresee it I recommend to you the making of my Epitaph for I perceive I will die confected in the very stinch of Farts If at any time to come by way of restorative to such good Women as shall happen to be troubled with the grievous pain of the Wind-Cholick the ordinary Medicaments prove nothing effectual the Mummy of all my befarted Body will streight be as a present Remedy appointed by the Physicians whereof they taking any small Modicum it will incontinently for their Ease afford them a Rattle of Bum-shot like a Sal of Muskets Therefore would I beseech you to leave me some few Centuries of Debts as King Louis the Eleventh exempting from Suits in Law the Reverend Milles d' Illiers Bishop of Chartre was by the said Bishop most earnestly sollicited to leave him some few for the Exercise of his mind I had rather give them all my Revenue of the Periwinkles together with the other Incomes of the Locusts albeit I should