words Isa 38. when he had spoken hard words of God not becoming a man of his acquaintance with divine dispensations when he sayes What shall I say he hath spoken and himself hath done it I shall go softly all my years in the bitterness of my soul vers 15. Yet recollects himself vers 16. O Lord by these things men live and in all these things is the life of my spirit so wilt thou recover me and make me to live So I have a word or hint sometimes as if the Lord would say Eat a little and drink a little as if he might have some little further work for me but then old pains and not old clearness again at other seasons making me see and say Oh! how hard a thing is it to keep an even hand with God in his various dispensations So foolish was I and ignorant as that good man once said Psal 37. Sometimes as a man then as a Beast c. but 't is good for me to draw near unto God and to say though he kill me yet I will trust in him But it pleased the Lord though by very undiscernable degrees after keeping his Chamber three quarters of a year to give him a Recovery for some season after which being seized with Sickness which continued to the finishing of his dayes the following being but few of many worthy occasional sayings of his were by the same Friend carefully treasured up Being asked by a Friend Is all well within He answered All 's well there blessed be God my God the high rock of my salvation my soul hath trusted in him and shall not be ashamed His Sister discovering something of impatience at the stroak upon him threatning his dissolution he earnestly reproved her saying Oh! be more a Woman be more a Christian Is this what you told me yesterday Being then asked by a Friend Have you ought to say to us before you leave us He replied O love the Lord all ye his Saints when and wheresoever he calls to follow go after him yea though he kill you yet love him still trust him still One saying to him Yea worthy is the Lamb to receive Glory Honour Obedience and Service from all his Saints He replied He is worthy indeed for he hath redeemed me by his blood blessed be God he is my God he is my God And then said The Lord hath strangely raised me and called me to put on a very high Profession and carried me more strangely through it to this hour though it may seem to be but a poor thing in its self considered yet the Lord hath had a care of such a poor worm and hath not left me shamefully to forsake him nor hath hitherto forsaken me and blessed be my God that hath brought me into bonds for his Names sake in this day this honour have not all his Saints though they be a People near unto him but Oh! the crowning Mercy is this that I can behold my Father's face with joy and can say in some measure I have finished the work thou gavest me to do and now holy Father I come to thee I have heretofore given some account of my self to you as you may remember as to those remarkable Passages of my Life both as a Christian a Minister a Sufferer This last I am now come to put a Seal to as they have been Sufferings for Christ's Cause an◠Kingdom as God hath given him to be Head over al things to the Church which is his Body and indeed 〈◊〉 he hath appointed me sufferings for his Names sake so I must say to his praise he hath so far restraine◠mens wrath as he hath made Enemies to be at peac◠with me and friendly to me this I would comment to you my dear Friends as an Argument for ever to trust in God There is also some thing I have been under from his own hand that hath been with great pain upon me as you have been Witnesses and my sorrows here have been oft-times greater than my groanings and this last hath been well nigh oversetting at some seasons insomuch as I thought it was impossible to have born the torments laid on my poor flesh but now I see nothing is too hard for God sometimes to lay on his own Children or for his Power to bear them up under His Sister tells him You spend your self in speaking He answers Let me speak that I may be refreshed It is refreshing to me to speak of what God hath made sweet to me Then he calls for a little Julip to drink a Friend sayes to him It will be hut a little while and you will thirst no more He replyes Ah blessed are they that eat Bread in the Kingdom of our Lord and drink Wines there he will lead them by Rivers and Fountains of Living waters where they shall thirst no more and he will wipe away all tears from their eyes His Sister desired to know how he was satisfied as to his coming hither she having been the occasion as she judged of his coming from Exon to Plymouth and consequently of his coming hither He answered Very well satisfied all have been steps of divine ordering I would not have come from Exon might I have had my own will I would not have stayed in Plymouth after I had Preached once but God would have me stay I would not have come to this place after my time of suffering was out in the Town-Hall at Plymouth if I might have had my own will but God would bring me hither and blessed be the Lord that let me not have my own will blessed be God that brought me here and blest me here with desirable Company and Mercies concerning which we have had occasions and seasons to speak well of God together yea since I have been brought here and sick here yet the steps of God have been in great wisdom with me and the bottom of them all paved with Love in the main of his goings in these dark and heavy stroakes I say in the main of them they have been attended with peace to my soul I have had Old Wine or New afforded still sometimes he hath said the Old is better and hath made ancient experiences of his Love sweet to me yet not alwayes alike clear sometimes he hath seen good to cut short within and without and this last tryal to deal plainly came on in somewhat a cloud at its entrance I was somewhat stupid thinking no more in it than ordinary but I was at last awakened by the Lord to think that this might be a long and close tryal and though he let me see the Anchor dropt within the Vail yet had I not that freshness of Evidence till within a few dayes last past when he called up my Spirit to a close search in a Night or two though I said but little of it but he graciously issued that matter in a token for good that whether I live or die I hope I shall wear to
not despise or neglect it but look on it as the Call of God to you and obey it accordingly To which that Friend replyed My weakness is sufficiently known to you my self and others for such a weighty service making me dread the thoughts of such an undertaking as at present furnisht yet I hope I shall carefully mind what the Lord may speak to me in future as also what hint you have now given about it to do therein as God shall direct After this discourse ended he further said He had been a poor staggering vain creature and since the time he came to this place and the Lord gave a little recovery he had not so improved it as became him he earnestly wisht he could write a little that he might leave a witness against it Saying also Ah! I have many things in Short-hand that none can read but my self by which means they will be lost Then added I have a poor Sister an honest affectionate soul who I desire you will do what you can to comfort support and strengthen according to that counsel 1 Thess 5.14 Now we exhort you Brethren warn them that are unruly comfort the feeble-minded support the weak be patient towards all men And desired we would sometimes speak a word in season to her And further said as to the Church in Plymouth wherein he had laboured he designed to serve the Lord in it and to gather souls to Christ and had now the witness of a good Conscience in that matter that he had not wilfully omitted or dealt negligently in that Work in the main of it as opportunity presented and blest the Lord that since his Imprisonment he had heard of six or seven of that Church that had gone triumphing to Heaven before him Then speaking of Christians Sufferings he minded that word 1 Pet. 4.16 Yet if any man suffer as a Christian c. He minded what a blessed thing it was to suffer as a Christian viz. To begin hold on hold out and at last come off as a Christian It was a great Word and Work and speaking of his pains he had on his outward-man yet blessed God There was no sorrow added nor no sting in them that was stuck in the sides of Christ blessed be his Name A Friend asking how he did Never better in my life said he blessed be God One asked him whether he would have any Cordial He said Yes may it be an instrument on Gods behalf to recover a little strength before I go hence and be seen no more to speak yet a word for God else tel me of no more Cordials for I drink full draughts One giving him a little he drank and said I am made to drink of the best spiced Wine the Wine of the Pomegranate his Love is better than Wine I am drinking of a Vineyard not a drop of red Wine blessed be God the Day I think is come I shall be led to the Fountain of Living Water and shall hunger nor thirst no more And added The Wine that is red might have been my Portion even fire and brimstone and an horrible tempest might have been the portion of my Cup. Oh! if Jacob's heart revived to see the Chariots to carry him to Joseph in Egypt How should my Soul revive in me to see my God's Chariots of Salvation to carry me to see him not in Egypt nor Earthly but Heavenly Canaan Then he fetch'd a sigh saying I sigh but am not sad Then applying himself to speak to Friends about him he said And to you that are troubled rest with me there is prepared for you shortly One telling him he spent himself he said He would gladly spend and be spent for Christ yet would not make undue haste to Heaven till his Beloved pleased yet I would bid my Friends Farewel remembring Elijah threw his Mantle on Elisha at parting and though I cannot yet say whether it be finally farewel Paul bid the Romans farewel often but I can bid you heartily farewel blessedly farewel Then added I have one word for Sion I have been oft refresht in thoughts of old Jacob as I mentioned but now how he revived and said Joseph is yet alive I will go down and see him before I die But yet before he comes out of Canaan he is at a stand and God must be sought to know his mind Gen. 46.4 God assures him he would go with him into Egypt and would surely bring him up thence and yet Jacob must die there I have thought how can this word be true and have been answered it was true to Jacob collectively though not personally considered his seed and with them him also dead or alive must be brought up with them in the time appointed and though Jacob's life indeed is took off in somewhat an unexpected time and way yet his Faith is kept up so as he gives charge in that matter ere he dies that his bones should be carried up with them and so gives testimony to the Truth of God in that case and the like doth Joseph Oh Friend God hath brought us down unto Egypt it may be where we would not have gone he hath indeed let us go in the beginning of our way where we would and we then went under full gales like to them Exod. 15.14 to 18. saying We shall come up out of Egypt it may be pitching it too personally as to us for whether we in our persons shall be brought from Bashan and the depths of the Sea may yet be a question but if we be indeed the seed of Jacob that seek him and his face we shall then most certainly be brought up dead or alive out of Egypt let 's endeavour to keep up Faith in that There is a Cause God hath stretched out his hand to own amongst us though men may be divided about it what it is some say it consists in Stating and Asserting our Rights against Oppressours but I take it to be such a Testimony to Christ's Kingdom that few will espouse but such as love the Lord Jesus in sincerity Though as to out-works they must be owned as works of wonder but the inward-part is the main thing even to bring forth Judgement and Truth into Power and Practice so as all the upright in heart shall follow it this even this shall be so brought out and lifted up over the heads of all oppositions and oppressors but God hath much of this kind yet to bring forth in the hearts of his own Children But Lord what wait I for my hope is in thee One asked him Will you have some refreshing I have refreshing saies he the world knows not of and Strangers cannot intermeddle with His Sister desired he would take rest He answered Christ's Disciples said of Lazarus Joh. 11. If he sleep he shall do well speaking it of natural sleep but to sleep in Jesus as those that God will bring again with him is much better Adding It was a sweet resolve of Hezekiah's broken
mixtures of this kind which are apt to steal in insensibly upon spirits influenced either with the Fear or Love of Creatures in this staggering and back-sliding hour of temptation wherein men's politick and prudential contrivances to preserve themselves from danger hath abundantly weakned and wasted the Courage if not the Conscience of Testifying Duty It 's of no small advantage I find by blessed experience to be giving daily diligence in observation how nearly and firmly the great Concerns of the Lord's Glory in his Works and Wayes are related to the Lord Jesus in his raised and exalted capacity and how directly the weight of them all rests upon his shoulders who is mighty to bear and with what infinite wisdom and according to what an exact platform of eternal counsel all these seeming Meanders and Laborynths of exteriour transactions are managed according to the integrity of his heart and the skilfulness of his hand who is wonderful in counsel and excellent in working In the Faith and Hope of this the Soul of a Beleever hath gracious invitations and engagement to return to its rest knowing that in quietness and confidence is its strength and are as the secrets of a Presence-Chamber for it till these calamities be over-past and though it look on but cannot interpret signs in Heaven and on the Earth perplexity distress of Nations the Sea and Waves roaring through approaching woe to the Inhabiters of the Earth and of the Sea yet it can acquiesce in the infallible knowledge of that Interpreter one among a thousand who is concerned in all these things engaged by Covenant and resolved in absolute Will to bring about in the best time and way the Ends of his Glory and its blessedness in a most sweet harmony and conjunction This saying to the righteous It shall go well with them and commanding their fluctuating tempestuous souls into a calm is yet very far from inducing them to that carnal security and idleness wherein tyred Professors are apt to wrap and bless themselves concluding we must leave publick things to Providence and retire into a closset-converse with our selves and the Lord things good in themselves but usually abused into the generating of a private selvish narrow frame of Spirit unfit to serve God in our generation by Converting Sinners Edifying Saints or saving themselves from an untoward and adulterous generation by a faithful testimony That the contrary hereunto may be your blessed lot namely largness of Heart like the Sand on the Sea-shore accompanied with cleanness of hand and a Spirit clensed by the Blood and set free by the Spirit of the Gospel is the earnest desire for you of him who is Yours assuredly These Parts yield little only fresh gazing on a new Blazing-Star in the East and divers talks of the beautiful Star in the West few think of the Star of Jacob that bright Morning-Star they who overcome shall have him as a certain fore-runner and prognostick of a Morning without Clouds they must be up early who look to be visited with the comfortable beams of it Even so Amen 1st of the 2d month 65. Another to the like effect Supplies of every good thing from the Shepherd and Stone of Israel Dear Heart IT is in my desire for you that you may obtain the favour of a marked Mourner securing you from approaching Plagues and reserving you for expected Salvation among the Palm-bearing throng who only are competent to learn the new song as one of the One hundred forty four thousand that are redeemed from the Earth And though you are fed with the Bread of Affliction and Waters of Adversity and that also by measure and stealth yet you may not want the satisfactory sight and hearing of a Teacher that may guide you into all Truth as it is in Jesus keeping you upright in this staggering day when so many reel to the right hand and to the left I confess sometimes I have hopeful expectations of seeing some such effect as this oâ— all these slidings some of them of understanding sâ—all fall to try them and to purge and make them white even to the time of the end but yet It is a fearful thing thus to fall into the hands of the Living God My lye that promotes his Glory makes me no whit less a sinner or my doing evil that good may come thereby I think I was hinting to you last time the Caution the Lord hath ministred to me by Prov. 25.26 A righteous man falling down before the wicked is as a troubled fountain and a corrupt spring detrimental and infectious to all that have any thing to do with him The accompt that you give of the Wall of the Daughter of Sion much-like his Neh. 2.13 which was once such an inviting prospect Psal 48.12 13. would engage to that Out-cry Lam. 2.18 19. but that there is hope in her end That her Children shall return though now they are not her dead men shall live together this dead body shall arise A review therefore of her from the munition of Rocks sutable to that Landschip Isa 33.20 c. is becoming the Children of the King but especially hath it been of use to me to feed upon that discovery made of the temper of his heart who is principally interested and concerned in all these mutations He shall not fail nor be discouraged till he have set Judgment in the Earth Isa 42.4 The youths shall faint and grow weary and young-men utterly fail they who stand upon their youthful vigour and greenness may and shall give way but he who hath such engagements with him and for him as vers 5 6. he waits without weariness and expects without impatience till his enemies be made his footstool A fellowship through faith in in his Spirit will furnish to a similitude in his patience to a being armed with the same mind that was in him Rests Yours dearly To a Friend upon the death of a Zealous Faithful and therefore Persecuted Servant of the Lord. Where is the Lord God of Elijah My true Friend IT comes to my lot to take you now by the hand though you may justly and earnestly challenge and expect it from a righter and more instructed heart and hand who being under deep pressures and considering there is a time to be silent especially when put to shame as well as a time to speak is not easily drawn forth to any thing of this nature till he can recover a little strength waited for to comfort others with the same comforts wherewith himself hath been when he hath been comforted himself of the Lord dreading especially under such a dispensation to utter any thing rashly knows that to speak his troubles will add little to the allaying of yours and that as Vinegar upon Nitre will be the singing songs to an heavy heart his own or others wisheth therefore his present silence may have no worse interpretation than the seven dayes silence of Job's Friends who answered him not a word
had not trod with our feet in dayes past Yet hitherto hath his bountiful Provision and tender Care over us exalted it self in a distinguishing manner and many times to our admiration so as hitherto our Bread hath not failed but hath been given to us in due season and our Waters have been sure so that knowing how little we are yet fitted to bear as a Father pittieth his Children in their low estate he hath not proved us with hunger or with straights nor called us up to approve our selves his Witnesses in necessities in distresses c. but our lot hath rather been to partake of the fat and sweet and soft insomuch as if he put that Question to us to be resolved according to that express literal sense of it When I sent you forth on the Services and Sufferings that attend your Testimony and you knew not whither you went Lacked you anything We must answer Nothing Lord but in that respect have in hand or we trust in some degree of sweet satisfaction we have all and abound and are full by the favour of him who giveth us all things richly to enjoy and is we would humbly hope teaching us in whatsoever state we are therewith to be content So that at many of the strange preventions of loving-kindness even in things of this sort we are often made with admiration to cry out What is this to us Lord Is this after the manner of men O God! Is this a Prison If we should have sought a Prison in a Prison these six or seven years Have we yet found it Whatever others in the same fellowship of bonds with us have found we must say for our parts That as we have escaped the Sword and we hope the Polutions of the Adversary so we have found great Grace in the Wilderness for his People his Chosen The which we mention not only that we may praise the Lord together while ye observe that we receive not nor accept not so thankfully your Present in respect of need through that unspeakable gift and care of his who hath hitherto continued the Bread of the day in its day but that herewithal we might take hold of an apt occasion to take you by the hand and lead you with a little the more encouragement up and down in those wayes of the Lord wherein we must sing Great hath been the goodness of our God even in the experiences that we have passed practically through in the Doctrine and Profession whereof we had been trained up in our years of plenty and prosperity so that we must say The Land that we have been sent to spy out even in the straitest passages of it as far as our Father assigned us to follow him in is a very good Land and if we rebel not against the Lord but abide with him those very circumstances that at a distance seem like sons of Anak and walls reaching up to Heaven apt to eat up the Inhabitants are well able to be overcome and will be found Bread for us while we stand and feed in the strength of the Lord and in the majesty of the Name of the Lord our God so that these Serpents at a distance from which we are apt to flee are found to believing but a rod and that a rod of God too when taken in the hand And could we come forth to you in Truth and Evidence as wise and right improvers of the sensible experiments we have actually found tasted seen and handled hitherto of this sort and that the savour of these excellent things had not been diminished in these souls of ours through too much an in observent careless earthly disposition bringing us down from our advantages of excellency we might speak more loudly to you than now we can Oh! taste and see that the Lord is good blessed are they that put their trust in him The Lions among whom we dwell do want and suffer hunger but they that fear the Lord lack nothing that is good In the midst of their sufficiency they are in straits while in the straits designed to wear out the people of the Saints of the most high there is a provision made of sufficiency be ye therefore strong and very strong and very couragious and God shall strengthen your hearts And now for a thankful acknowledgement though it may not be interpreted as any requital of your holy liberality What shall we farther say than that we do as we are able bring the matter in our requests and thanksgivings unto him who is able to make all Grace abound toward you All-sufficiency in all things may abound to every good work being enriched in every thing to all bountifulness which causeth in us thanksgivings unto God And this we beg on your behalf not as if we desired a gift or that it should be so again done to us knowing that there are many watery faces everywhere requiring Bread to be cast upon them as under far greater necessity than our selves But as hâ—ving perswasion and some small experience what a great recompence it is in such case to have the mouth and hand opened from the hearts being enlarged with those expatiating Graces and Vertues of the Spirit of the New Testament that constitute a true largeness of heart like the Sand on the Sea-shore and to encrease that greatness that is proportionate to the large discoveries of believing doing suffering-Grace and Preparations for expected Glory In order to it we desire for you all and intreat you to press and pursue after 1 Greater advances toward newness of heart the old heart will be as old bottles and an old garment that will not comport with the new Wine which is yet in the Cluster and a blessing in it though men attempt to destroy it And this is not only a newness of state but a newness also of frame by means whereof the inner-man may pass under experimental renewings day by day even the renewings in the Spirit of your minds by which the Truths Wayes and Works of the Lord the King may have an intimate access and abundant enterance into your own souls and you into them in their vertue dominion and power 2 Greater approaches in a way of heavenliness and nearness to the Lord at distance from the spirit of this evil World where the World is set in the heart the God of this World will be quickly filling it narrowing and enclosing it for earthly service and this not only in men of Earth who have their portion in this life but also in those that are by the Blood of Christ delivered from the gross pollutions of this prâ—sent evil World through lust but yet much concerned in the business cares and intricating-affairs of its many things which though lawful in themselves to be diligently prosecuted yet as lying under the influence and advantages of the Prince of it having a notable tendency to bring souls down from their excellency and to eat out insensibly the liveliness and sweetness of our spirits longer and further than the Victory that overcomes it in the vertue of the Cross of Christ by which we are crucified to it and it to us be kept up on fresh exercise 3 Right waitings for and waitings on the Spirit of Promise who is of power to quicken dry bones raise dead Witnesses and do great things in and for us which shall not be resisted nor need not be assisted with might and power though for a time the work about it may be made to cease with force and power We shall say no more at present but with the representation of our oblieged respects to every one of you as if known by Name leaving you in the blessed arms of our Beloved we remain 22th of the 9th mon. 67. Your Brethren waiting for the Consolation of Israel POST-SCRIPT IF any inquire what might occasion so much severity as to detain the Author so many years and until death a Prisoner It may suffice to insert here for the Readers satisfaction That in the state of his case left under his hand setting forth the illegality and unrighteousness of proceedings against him He concludes it thus If it should be suggested Perhaps he is a Ring-leader This true Character of the Person may alleviate jealousies of that kind He was born at Plymouth of mean yet honest Parentage is not by Kindred or any Alliance related to any Person or Family of any Note at all was not bred up to Learning at any University or sent any where to Travel for Education or Experience but contrariwise brought up and kept diligently by his Parents to Work in the poor yet honest Trade of a FVLLER never lived out of that Town a Month together all his life except in a Journey some Weeks on occasion about sixteen years since to London besides what he under-went by constraint in Prison Never in the former Wars was enlisted in any Troop or Company under Pay and in the Trained-Bands of the Town where he served never was accounted worthy of Promotion to so much as a Corporal nor in the Corporation whereof he was a Member ever advanced so high as a Constable never bettered his Estate one farthing by all the propitious advantages that might have given him opportunity for so doing nor is conscious to himself of the least desire of adding to what he hath by any present or future advantages that any favourable overtures of the times may tempt him with never was advanced to or improved in any Place or Office of Trust or Profit Civil Military or Ecclesiastical save only for some few weeks unknown to him and against his will he was Mustered a Chaplain to the Fort but quickly got himself discharged of that again Never was concerned in nor truly charged with any Plot Mutiny or Tumult giving the least disturbance or occasion of Fear or Jealousie This one thing then only can remain to give colour to such proceedings That about eighteen years since he being convinced of his Duty to the Lord by evidence of Scriptural Light joyned himself in an holy Covenant to walk in all the Ordinances of the Lord blameless to the best of his Light and Power in fellowship with a poor and despised People FINIS