Selected quad for the lemma: water_n
Text snippets containing the quad
|
ID |
Title |
Author |
Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) |
STC |
Words |
Pages |
|
A41087
|
A trip to Holland being a description of the country, people and manners : as also some select observations on Amsterdam.
|
Felltham, Owen, 1602?-1668.; Ward, Edward, 1667-1731.
|
1699
(1699)
|
Wing F659; ESTC R225871
|
18,466
|
18
|
general Sea Land the Great Bog of Europe and there is not such another Marsh in the World that 's flat They are an Universal Quagmire Epitomized A Green Cheese in Pickle There is in them an Aequilibrium of Mud and Water A strong Earthquake would shake them to a Chaos from which the successive force of the Sun rather than Creation hath a little amended them They are the Ingredients of a Black Pudding and want only stirring together Marry 't is best making on 't in a dry Summer else you will have more Blood than Grist And then have you no way to make it serve for any thing but to tread it under Zâ—na Torrida and so dry it for Turfs Says one it affords the People one Commodity beyond all the other Regions If they die in Perdition they are so low that they have a shorter cut to Hell than the rest of their Neighbours And for this Cause perhaps all strange Religions throng thither as naturally inclining towards their Center Besides their â—â—â—ches shew them to be Pluto's Region and you all know what Part that was which the Poets did of old assign him Here is Styx Acheron Cocytus and the rest of those muddy Streams that have made Matter for the Fablers Almost every one is a Charon here and if you have but a Naulum to give you cannot want a Boat or Pilot. To confirm all let but some of our Separatists be asked and they shall swear That the Elezian Fields are there It is an excellent Country for a Despairing Lover for every Corner affords him a Willow to make a Garland on but if Justice doom him to be hang'd on any other Tree he may in spight of the Sentence live long and confident If he had rather quench his Spirits than suffocate them rather chuse to feed Lobsters than Crows 't is but leaping from his Window and he lights in a River or Sea for most of their dwellings stand like Prives in Moted Houses hanging still over the Water If none of these cure him keep him but a Winter in a House without a Stove and that shall cool him The Soil is all Fat though wanting the Colour to shew it so for indeed it is the Buttock of the World full of Veins and Blood but no Bones in 't Had St. Steven been condemned to suffer here he might have been alive at this day for unless it be in their paved Cities Gold is a great deal more plentiful than Stones except it be living ones and then for their heaviness you may take in almost all the Nation 'T is a singular Place to fat Monkeys in There are Spiders as big as Shrimps and I think as many Their Gardens being moist abound with these No Creatures for sure they were bred not made Were they but as Venomous as Rank to gather Herl were to hazard Martyrdom They are so large that you would almost believe the Hesperides were here and these the Dragons that did Guard them You may travel the Country though you have not a Guide for you cannot baulk your Road without the hazard of Drowning There is not there any use of an Harbinger Wheresoever Men go the Way is made before them Had they Cities large as their Walls Rome would be esteem'd a Bawble 20 Miles in length is nothing for a Wagon to be hurried on one of them where if your Fore-man be sober you may travel in safety otherwise you must have stronger Faith than Peter had else you sink immediately A Startling Horse endangers you to two Deaths at once breaking of your Neck and Drowning If your way be not thus it hangs in the Water and at the approach of your Waggon shall shake as if it were Ague-strucken Duke d' Alva's asking of the Tenth Penny frighted it into a Palsie which all the Mountebanks they have bred since could never tell how to cure 'T is indeed but a Bridge of Swiming Earth on a Flag somewhat thicker than ordinary if the Strings crack your course is shortned you can neither hope for Heaven nor fear Hell you shall be sure to stick fast between them Marry if your Faith flow Purgatory height you may pray if you will for that to cleanse you from the Mud that shall soil you 'T is a green Sod in Water where if the German Eagle dares to Bath himself he 's glad again to perch that he may dry his Wings Some things they do that seem Wonders 'T is ordinary to see them fish for Fire in Water which they catch in Nets and transport to Land in their Boats where they spred it more smoothly than a Mercer doth his Velvet when he would hook in an Heir upon his coming to Age. Thus lying in a Field you would think you saw a Cantle of Green Cheese spread over with Black Butter If Aetna be Hell's Mouth or Fore-gate sure here 's found the Postern 'T is the Port Esquiline of the World where the whole Earth doth vent her crude black Gore whick the inhabitants scrape away for Fuel as Men with Spoons do Excrements from Civet-Cats Their ordinary Pack-Horses are all of Wood who carry their Bridles in their Tails and their Burdens in their Bellies A strong Tide and a stiff Gale are the Spurs that make them speedy When they travel they stand still they drink up too much of their Way Tâ—â—â— is a Province amongst them where every Woman carries a Concy in a Lamb Skin 'T is a Custom and not one that travels ever leaves it behind her Now guess if you can what Beast that is which is clod in a Fur both of Hair and Wool They dress their Meat in Aqua Coelesti for it springs not as ours from the Earth but comes to them as Manna to the Israelites falling from Heaven This they keep under ground till it stinks and then they pump it out again for use So when you wash your Hands with one Hand you need to hold your Nose with the other for tho' it be not Cordial 't is certainly a Strong Water The Elements are here at Variance the subtil overswaying the grosser The Fire consumes the Earth and the Air the Water They Burn Turfs and Drain their Ground with Windmills as if the Cholick were a Remedy for the Stone And they would prove against Philosophy the World's Conflagration to be Natural even shewing thereby that the very Element of Earth is Combustible The Land that the have they keep as neatly as a Courtier does his Beard They have a Method in Mowing 'T is so interven'd with Water and Rivers that it is impossible to make a Common among them Even the Brownists are here at a stand only they hold their Pride in wrangling for that which they never will find Our Justices would be much at ease although our English Poor were still among them for whatsoever they do they can break no Hedges Sure had the Wise Men of Gotham lived here they would have studied some other Death for
looking like full grown Oysters boild Slime humid Air Water and wet Diet have so bag'd their Cheeks that some would take their Paunches to be gotten above their Chin. The Country's Government is a Democracy and there had need be many to rule such a Rabble of rude Ones Tell them of a King and they could cut your Throat in earnest The very Name carries Servitude in it and they hate it more than a Iew doth Images a Woman Old Age or a Nonconformist a Surplice None among them hath Authority by Inheritance that were the way in time to parcel out their Country to Families They are chosen all as our Kings chuse Sheriffs for their Counties not for their sin of Wit but for the Wealth they have to bear it out withal which they so over-affect that Myn Heer shall walk the Streets as Userers to go to Bawdy-houses all alone and melancholly And if they may be had cheap he will dawb his faced Cloak with Two pennyworth of picked Herrings which himself shall carry home in a String A Common Voice has given him Pre-eminence and he loses it by living as he did when he was but a Boor. But if you pardon what is past they are about thinking it time to learn more Civility Their Justice is strict if it cross not Policy but rather than hinder Traffick tolerates any thing There is not under Heaven such a Den of several Serpents as Amsterdam is you may be what Devil you will so you push not the State with your Horns 'T is an University of all Religions which grow here confusedly like Stocks in a Nursery without either Order or Pruning If you be unsettled in your Religion you may here try all and take at last what you like best If you fancy none you have a Pattern to follow of two that would be a Church to themselves 'T is the Fair of all the Sects where all the Pedlars of Religion have leave to vent their Toys their Ribbons and Phanatick Rattles And should it be true it were a cruel brand which Romists stick upon them for say they as the Chamaleon changes into all Colours but White so they admit of all Religions but the true for a Papist only may not exercise his in Publick Yet his Restraint they plead is not in Hatred but Justice because the Spaniards abridges the Protestants And they had rather shew a little Spleen than not cry quit with their Enemy His Act is their Warrant which they retaliate justly And for this Reason rather than the Dunkirkers they take shall not Die Amsterdam having none of their own shall borrow a Hang-Man from Harlem Now albeit the Papists do them wrong herein yet can it not excuse their boundless Toleration which shews they place their Republick in a higher esteem than Heaven it self and had rather cross upon God than it For whosoever disturbs the Civil Government is liable to Punishment but the Decrees of Heaven and Sanctions of the Deity any one may break uncheck't by prosessing what False Religion he please So Consulary Rome of old brought all the straggling Gods of other Nations to the City where blinded Superstition paid an Adoration to them In their Families they are all Equals and you have no way to know the Ma ster and Mistress but by taking them in Bed together it may be those are they otherwise Malky can prate as much laugh as loud be as bold and sit as well as her Mistress Had Logicians lived here at first Father and Son had never passed so long for Relatives they are here Individuals for no Demonstrance of Duty or Authority can distinguish them as if they were created together and not born successively And as for your Mother bidding her Good Night and Killing her is punctual Blessings Your Man shall be Sawcy and you must not Strike if you do he shall complain to the Scout and perhaps have Recompence 'T is a dainty place to please Boys in for your Father shall bargain with your Schoolmaster not to Whip you if he doth he shall Revenge it with his Knife and have Law for it Their Apparel is Civil enough and Good enough but very uncomely and has usually more stuff than shape Only their Huikes are commodius in Winter but 't is to be lamented that they have not Wit enough to lay them by when Summer comes Their Women would have good Faces if they did not marr them with making Their Ear-wyers have so nipt in their Cheeks that you would think some Fairy to do them a mischief had pinch'd them behind with Tongs These they dress as if they would shew you all their Wit lay behind and they needs would cover it And thus ordered they have much more Fore-head than Face They love the English Gentry well and when Soldiers come over to be billeted among them they are emulous in choosing of their Guest who fares much the better for being liked by his Hostess Men and Women are there starched so blue that if they once grow old you would verily believe you saw Winter walking up to the Neek in a Barrel of Indigo And therefore they rail at England for spending no more Blewing A Man among them is else clad tolerably unless he incline to the Sea fashion and then are his Breeches yawning at the Knees as if they were about to swallow his Legs unmercifully They are far there from going Naked for of a whole Woman you can see but half a Face As for her Hand that shews her a fore Labourer which you shall ever find as it were in Recompence loaded with Rings to the cracking of her fingers If you look lower she 's a Monkey chain'd about the middle and had rather want it in Diet than not have Silver Links to hang her Keys in Their Gowns are fit to hide great Bellies but they make em shew so unhandsome that men do not care for getting them Marry this you shall find to their Commendation their Smocks are ever whiter than their Skin Where the Woman lies in the Ringle of the door does Pennance and is lapped about with Linnen either to shew you that loud knocking may waken the Child or else for a Month the Ring is not to be run at But if the Child be dead there is thrust out a Nosegay tied to a Stick 's end perhaps for an Emblem of the Life of man which may wither as soon as born or else to let you know that tho' these fade upon their gathering yet from the same stock the next year a new shoot may spring You may rail at us for often changing but I assure you with them it is a great deal more following the Fashion which they will plead for as the Ignorant Laity for their Faith they will keep it because their Ancestors lived in it Thus they will rather keep an old Fault tho' they discover Errors in it than in an easie Change to meet a certain Remedy For their Diet they eat