for my Deere and still with delayes and demurres I was put off from my Decre with promises that at such and such a time I should haue my Deere but now I am in despaire of my Deere and I meane to take no more care for my Deere And so Adue my Deere but indeed hee that had the bounty to promise me this Deere hath the grace to blush whensoeuer he sees me and therefore I doe loue him for his modesty and shamefastnesse and had it not beene for that and that I doe loue him indeed I would long before this time haue sung him a Kerry-Elison that should haue made him beene glad to haue promist me a brace of Bucks more to haue stop'd my mouth withall although in performance my Deere had beene nonest inuentus In a word of all sorts of Deere I hold sâ—uâ—â—â— Venison to be the most honestly gotten because the Theeues are so quiet close priuâ—â— and silent at their worke that they haue no leisure to sweare or curse as men doe when it â—â— lawfully taken and my conceite is that why oathes and curses are most restrain'd theâ— most honesty and piety remaines But commonly swearing execrations and drinking are the ceremonious Rites of a Buckes or Hares death and obsequies With the cry of the Hounds And the Eccho resownds Through the Meade through the fallow With the Horne with the hallow With the Horse lowd neigh the Backe at a Bâ—â— And with the Deers fall the Horn sounding â—â—â— My Pen bids Hunting Woodman-SHIP farewell The Ships and Pinnaces that serued in tâ—â— Regiment vnder the Woodman-SHIP â—â—â— these 1 The Chanter 2 The Bawman 3 The Ringwood 4 The Slut. 5 The Beuty 6 The Daysie 7 The Kilbucke with diuers others all theâ—â— being for course or chase FINIS THE PRAISE ANTIQVITY AND COMMODITIE OF BEGGERIE BEGGERS AND BEGGING A Begger from an * Antiquity of Beggers Ancient house begins Old Adams sonne and heire vnto his sins â—d as our father Adam did possesse â—e world there 's not a Begger that hath lesse â—r whereof is the world compact and fram'd â—t Elements which to our sence are nam'd â—e Earth the Ayre the Water and the Fire With which all liue without which all expire â—ese euery Begger hath in plenteous store â—d euery mighty Monarch hath no more â—or can the greatest Potentate aliue â—e meanest Begger of these things depriue â—e * Vniuersality Earth is common both for birth or Graues â—r Kings and Beggers Free-men and for Slaues â—nd a poore Begger as much Ayre will draw â—â— he that could keepe all the world in awe â—he * Earth Ayre â—â— Fire Water be it Riuers Seas or Spring â—ts equall for a Begger as a King â—nd the Celestiall Sunn 's bright * If these elements could bee bought and â—â— the poore Beggers should haue small roome for birth â—â—buriall fire from Heauen â—â—ongst all estates most equally is giuen â—â—iu'n not to be ingrost or bought nor sold â—r gifts and bribes or base corrupted gold â—â—ese things nor poore or rich can sell nor buy â—â—e for all liuing creatures till they dye â—â— Emperour a great command doth beare â—â— yet a Begger 's more secure from feare King may vse disports as fits the season â—â— yet a Begger is more safe from Treason Prince amidst his cares may merry be â—â— yet a Begger is from flatt'rers free A Duke is a degree magnificent But yet a Begger may haue more content A Marquesse is a title of great fame A Begger may offend more with lesse blame An Earle an honourable house may keepe But yet a Begger may more soundly sleepe A Vizecount may be honour'd and renoun'd But yet a Begger 's on a surer ground A Baron is a Stile belou'd and Noble But yet a Begger is more free from trouble A Knight is good if his deserts be such But yet a Begger may not owe so much A good Esquire is worthy of respect A Begger 's in lesse care though more neglect A Gâ—ntleman may good apparell weare A Begger from the Mercers booke is cleare A Seruing-man that 's young in older yeeres Oft proues an aged Begger it appeares Thus all degrees and states what e're they are With Beggers happinesse cannot compare Heau'n is the roofe that Canopies his head The Cloudes his Curtaines and the earth his bed The Sunne his fire the Starre's his candle light The Moone his Lampe that guides him in the night When scorching Sol makes other mortals sweat Each tree doth shade a Begger from his heat When nipping Winter makes the Cow to quake A Begger will a Barne for harbour take When Trees Steeples are o're-turn'd with winde A begger will a hedge for shelter finde And though his inconueniences are store Yet still he hath a salue for eu'ry sore He for new fashions owes the Taylor nothing Nor to the Draper is in debt for cloathing A Begger doth not begger or deceaue Others by breaking like a bankerupt Knaue He 's free from shoulder-clapping Sergeants clawes He 's out of feare of Enuies canker'd iawes He liues in such a safe and happy state That he is neither hated nor doth hate None beares him malice rancour or despight And he dares kill those that dare him backe-bite Credit he neither hath or giue to none All times and seasons vnto him are one He longs not for or feare a quarter day For Rent he neither doth receiue or pay Let Nation against Nation warres denounce Let Cannons thunder and let Musket bounce Let armies armies force 'gainst force oppose He nothing feares nor nothing hath to lose Let Towns and Towres with batt'ry be o're-turn'd Let women be deflowr'd and houses burn'd Let men fight pell-mell and lose life and lim If earth and skies escape all 's one to him O happy begg'ry euery liberall Art Hath left the thanklesse world and takes thy part And learning conscience and simplicity Plaine dealing and true perfect honesty Sweet Poetry and high Astronomy Musickes delightfull heau'nly harmony All these with begg'ry most assuredly Haue made a friendly league to liue and dye For Fortune hath decreed and holds it fit Not to giue one man conscience wealth and wit For they are portions which to twaine belong * Wit wisedome wealth and conscience are not vsually hereditary or in one man And to giue all to one were double wrong Therefore although the Goddesse want her eyes Yet in her blinded bounty she is wise I will not say but wealth and wisedome are In one ten or in more but 't is most rare And such men are to be in peace or warres Admir'd like blacke Swans or like blazing Starres Two sorts of people fills the whole world full The witty Begger and the wealthy Gull A Scholler stor'd with Arts with not one crosse And Artlesse Nabal stor'd with Indian drosse I haue seene learning tatter'd bare and poore Whilst Barbarisme domineerd with store I haue knowne knowledge in but meane
to steale and run away most swift In their conceits and fleights no men are sharper Each one as nimble-finger'd as a Harper Thus Thieuing is not altogether base But is descended from a lofty Race Moreouer euery man himselfe doth show To be the Sonne of Adam for wee know He stole the Fruit and euer since his Seed To steale from one another haue agreed Our Infancy is Theft 't is manifest Wee crie and Rob our Parents of their Rest Our Childe-hood Robs vs of our Infancy And youth doth steale out childe-hood wantonly Then Man-hood pilfers all our youth away And middle-age our Man-hood doth conuay Vnto the Thieuing hands of feeble age Thus are wee all Thieues all our Pilgrimage In all which progresse many times by stealth Strange sicknesses doe Rob vs of our health Rage steales our Reason Enuy thinkes it fit To steale our Loue whilest Foliy steales our wit Pride filcheth from vs our Humility And Lechery doth steale our honesty Base Auarice our Conscience doth purloin Whilest sloth to steale our mindes from work doth ioyâ—â— Time steales vpon vs whilest wee take small care And makes vs old before wee be aware Sleepe and his brother Death conspite our fall The one steales halfe our liues the other all Thus are wee Robb'd by Morpheus and by Muâ— Till in the end each Corps is but a Coarse Note but the seasons of the yeere and see How they like Thieues to one another bee From Winters frozen face through snow showers The Spring doth steale roots plants buds flowers Then Summer Robs the Spring of natures sute And haruest Robs the Suramer of his fruite Then Winter comes againe and he bereaues The Haruest of the Graine and Trees of Leaues And thus these seasons Rob each other still Round in their course like Horses in a mill The Elements Earth Water Ayre and Fire To rob each other daily doe conspire The fiery Sun from th' Ocean and each Riuer Exhales their Waters which they all deliuer This water into Clowdes the Ayre doth steale Where it doth vnto Snow or Haile congeale Vntill at last Earth robs the Ayre againe Of his stolne Treasure Haile Sleete Snow or Riâ—â— Thus be it hot or cold or dry or wet These Thieues from one another steale and get Night robs vs of the day and day of night Light pilfers darknes and the darknes light Thus life death seasons and the Elements And day and night for Thieues are presidents Two arrant Thieues we euer beare about vs The one within the other is without vs All that we get by toyle or industry Our Backes and Bellies steale continually For though men labour with much care and carke Lie with the Lamb downe rise vp with the Larâ— Sweare and forsweare deceaue and lie and cog And haue a Conscience worse then any Dog Be most vngracious extreme vile and base And so he gaine not caring for disgrace Let such a Man or Woman count their gaines They haue but meat and raiment for their paines No more haue they that doeliue honestest Those that can say their Cousciences are best Their Bellies and their Backes day night and houâ—â— The fruits of all their labours doe deuoure These Thieues doe rob vs with our owne good will And haue dame natures warrant for it still â—â— crimes these Sharks do worke each others wrack â—â— reuening Belly often robs the backe Will feed like Diues with Quaile Raile Pheasant â—beâ—â—â— all tarter'd like a Peasant Sometimes the gawdy Backe mans Belly pines â—â—which he often with Duke Humphrey dines â—â— whilest the mind defends this hungry stealth â—â— sâ—ies a temp'rate dyet maintaines health â—â—â—â— cry let guts with famine mourne â—â— maw's vnseene good outsides must be worne â—â— these Thieues rob vs and in this pother â—â—mind consents and then they rob each other â—â—knowledge and our learning oft by chance â—â— steale and rob vs of our ignorance â—â— ignorance may sometimes gaine promotion There it is held the mother of deuotion â—â—â—knowledge ioyn'd with learning are poore things â—at many times a man to begg'ry brings â—â—â— fortune very oft doth iustly fit â—â—l to haue all the woâ—â—â— some all the wit â—â—â—â— robs some men into it list â—eales their coyne as Thieues doe in a mist â—â— men to rob the pot will ne'r refraine Still the pot rob them of all againe â—rodigall can steale exceeding briefe â—ks his owne purse and is his owne deare Thiefe And thus within vs and without vs we â—â—â— Thieues and by Thieues alwaies pillag'd be â—â— then vnto the greatest Thieues of all Those Thâ—â—â—â—â—y is most high and capitall â—â— that for pomp and Titles transitory â—â—your Almighty Maker of his Glory â—â— giue the honour due to him alone â—to a carued block a stock or stone â—â—image a similitude or feature Angell Saint or Man or any creature â—â— Altars Lamps to Holy-bread or Waters â—â—â— shrines or tapers of such iugling matters â—â— reliques of the dead or of the liuing â—is is the most supremest kind of Thieuing â—â—esides they all commit this fellony â—t breake the Sabbath day maliciously â—â—â— giues vs six daies and himselfe hath one â—â—herein he would with thanks be call'd vpon â—â— those that steale that day to bad abuses â—â— God of honour without all excuses Into these Thieues my Thiefe doth plainly tell But though they hang not here they shall in hell Accept repentance and vnworthy Guerdon â—â—rough our Redeemers merits gaine their pardon â—â— there 's a crue of Thieues that prie and lurch And steale and share the liuings of the Church These are hells factors merchants of all euill Rob God of soules and giue them to the Deuill For where the tythe of many a Parish may Allow a good sufficient Preacher pay Yet hellish pride or lust or auarice Or one or other foule licencious vice Robs learning robs the people of their reaching Who in seuen yeeres perhaps doe heare no preaching When as the Parsonage by account is found Yeerely worth two three or foure hundred pound Yet are those Soules seru'd or else staru'd I feare With a poore a In the 93. page of a Booke called The Spirit of Detraction the Author cites 12. parishes in one Hundred in Wales in this predicament Reader for eight pounds a yeere A Preacher breakes to vs the Heau'nly Bread Whereby our straying Soules are taught and fed And for this heau'nly worke of his 't is sence That men allow him earthly recompence For shall he giue vs food that 's spirituall And not haue meanes to feed him corporall No sure of all men 't is most manifest A painfull Churchman earnes his wages best Those that keepe backe the Tythes I tell them true Are arrant Thieues in robbing God of'd due For he that robs Gods Church t' encrease his pelfe 'T is most apparent he robs God himselfe The Patron oft deales with his Minister As Dionisius with b Iupitert Idoll in Siracusa in Sicilia Iupiter He stole his golden Cloake
whil'st the Fathers bones a rotting lye His Sonne his cursed wealth accurst lets slye In whores drinke gaming and in reuell coyle The whil'st his fathers Soule in flames doth broyle And when the Father on the earth did liue To his Sonnes fancie he such way did giue For at no season he the plow must hold The summer was too hot the winter cold He robs his mother of her Butter pence Within the Alehouse serues him for expence And so like Coles dog the vntutor'd mome Must neither goe to Church nor bide at Lome For he his life another way must farme To Hauke to hunt abusing the Kings game Some Nobleman or Gentleman that 's neere At a cheape rate to steale what they call deere When if a poore man his great want to serue Whose wife and children ready are to starue If he but steale a sheepe from out the fold The chuffe would hang him for it if he could For almes he neuer read the word releeue He knowes to get but neuer knowes to giue And what so'ere he be that doth liue thus Is a worse Cormorant then my AEsacus A Figure-stinger or a cotâ—z'ning Cunning-man THE ARGVMENT Amongst a foolish faithlesse gracelesse crew This man hath better credit then Gods word For lesse that 's past or profit to ensue Like is a Tearme with Customers he 's stor'd Hee 's a Soothsayer but sayth seldome sooth And hath the ' Diuels great seale for what he doth HEre â—ow I draw a curtaine and discouer Amongst all knaues the diuels speciall louer One that doth Court him still and daily woe And faine would see the diuell but knowes not how He has â—â—â— in his workes that 's his fare place But has not art to bring him to his face When he could wish him to his outward sense The diuell sits laugâ—ing in his conscience Yet you shall haue this figure stinger prate To his gull client small wit shallow pate As if he were Lord warden of hell fire And Lucifer and he had both one sire The Fiends his couzen Germanes once remou'd From earth to hell where he is best belou'd More fustian language form his tongue doth drop Then would set sorth an honest tradesmans shop As if that all Magitians that e're were Vnworthy were his learrel bookes to beare Nor Zorostres king o' th Bactrians Nor the sage Magi of the Persianâ— Nor any coniuring Sonne of Cham or Chus Nor Faustus with his Mephostophilus Corneliâ—s Agrippa Simon Magus Nor any twixt the Riuer Thames or Tagus Nor Bâ—itaines Bladud Cambriaes Merlin Baâ—â—n Companions for this man would ne're be taken For he is rare and deeply read indeed In the admit'd â—ight reuerend old wiues Creed Talkes of the Iewish Thalmud and Cabals Solsâ—itiums and Equinoctials Of auguries of prophesies predictions Prognostications reuelations sictions And as he could the Elements command He seemes as he their minds doth vnderstand By Fire he hath the skill of Pyromanty By Ayre he hath the Art of Heremanty By Water he knowes much in Hidromanty And by the Earth hee 's skill'd in Gâ—omanty Palme Chiromanty couz'ning Necromancy To gull the world to fulfill fooles fancie Hags ghosts and goblius furies fairies elues He knowes the secrets of the diuels themselues There 's not a Nimph a fawne or goat foot Satyre Thâ— lives by Fire by Aire by Earth or Water Sâ—â— Dâ—dâ—s or Hamadriades Bewixt Sâ—yâ—entrio and Meridies â—â— he commands them to doe what they list â—but bend the brow or clutch the fist He 'le tell a mans hearts secrets what he thinkes â—Ordipus vnfolds th'ambiguous Sphinâ—â— With skill surpassing great Alfumazers He with intelligencing Funds confers And by his wondrous Artacoosticon â—wes the Turkes Counsell and what Prefer Iowns Determines or what businesse now befals â—â—the Conclaue of Romes Cardinals He can release or else increase all harmes About the necke or wrests by tying charmes He hath a tricke to kill the Agues force And make the patient better or much worse To the great toe three letters he can tye Shall make the Gowt to tarry or else flye With two words and three leaues of foure-leau'd grasse He makes the tooth-ach stay repasse or passe â—â—â— goods you againe would faine haue got â—â—but to him and you shall speed or not â—â—â— he will gaine whether you get or lose â—haue his Fee for so the bargaine goes He'â— tell you wonders when you are alone â—Of the Philosophers admired stone And that it from Vtopia first did come Brought to him by a Spirit he sent to Rome Where by t' inrich the world hee dares be bold To â—â—â—ns pans pots and dripping pans to gold And in the Goldsmith's burnisht glistring row â—â—â— Ironmongers with a fairer show â—â—â— Spits and Andir'ns to bright mettle shining â—â—â— when coine's scarce you straight may put to coining These and a thousand more as idely vaine Fooles swallow and hee swallowes them againe And though the marke of truth he neuer hits â—â—â— still this Cormorant doth liue by 's wits â—â—d ne're will want a false deuouring tricke â—hells Archcormorant deuoure him quicke A Corrupted Lawyer and a knauish Vndershrine THE ARGVMENT The soule of Common-wealths is in good Lawes Their execution makes a happie State But where Corruption opes his â—â—â—â—ry Jawes Where Lawyers doe increase not â—â—â—â—â—â— Such Law-wormes are the Diuels dâ—â—â—st brood Who make the common harms their priuate good A Hall a hall the tramplers are at hand A shifting Master and as sweetly man'd â—… â—… â—… â—… â—… â—… â—… â—… â—… â—… â—… â—… â—… â—… â—… â—… â—… â—… â—… â—… â—… â—… â—… â—… â—… â—… â—… â—… And by that meanâ—s could make a good preuention Contention would beget no more contention This Lawyers riches euer â—pings and bloomes From sheeps coat câ—lues skin rusâ—et hobnaild groomes Perswading them that all things shall goe well Suckes out the Eggs leaues them the emptie shell He hath a fleight to spinning out a Cause Till all the money out of purse it drawes His Clients with tull budgâ—ts â—â— come to towne But he takes order for their going downe The full is now the Lawyers theâ—â—â— the wane Like bâ—â—ckets turn'd to come vp full againe With papers laden thinke themselues most firme Carries them downâ— to bring them vp next cerme Horse plow and cattle goe to wracke split all T is fit the Stable waite vpon the Hall Their sheepe the parchment beares their Gâ—â—rse the quils Which turnes their slate as this bad Lawyer wils Their shirts the paper makes their Bâ—â—sâ— the wax T' vndoe themsâ—lues that good discretion lâ—cks These man like Geese against themselues dâ—â— things Iâ— plucking quils from their owne foolish wings This Lawyer makes him dang'rous shalts withall And shootes them at the fooles froÌ„ whence they fall The Common-wealths Impost â—â—â— hee doth cut And the corruption in his purse doth put One giues him for a bribe a Brawne or twine And that 's drown'd with anothers But of wine One giues Coach all deckt and painted gay
he fell Which she perceiuing lets her Daughter drowne And rashly ran to saue her burning Sonne Which finding dead she hastily casts downe And all agast doth to the water runne Where seeing t'other was depriu'd of breath She ' gainst the earth falls down dasht her braines Her husband comes and sees this worke of death And desperate hangs himselfe to ease his palnes Thus Death with all the Elements conspire To reaue mans life Earth Water Ayre and Fire FINIS An Inkhorne Disputation or Mungrell conference betwixt a Lawyer and a Poet. With a Quarterne of new catcht Epigrams caught the last Fishing tide sit for heaute stomackes in Ember-weekes Fridayes and Fasting-euens A Poet and a Lawyer in dispute And one the other striued to confute The Poet talk't of great Apolloes shrine Of mount Pernassus and the Muses nine The Lawyer 's all in Cases and in Causes In Fixes in Fees Recou'ries and in Clawses The Poet answers him with Elegies With Madrigals and Epithalamies The Lawyer with his Writs and his Attachments His Habeas Corpus and his strong Apeachments His Executions and his Molestanaums His Score facies and Testificanaums His desperate Outlaries his Capiendoes His Sursararies and his Proscdendoes The Poet at the Lawyer layes on loads Of Dactiles Spondees Annagrams and Oades Of Satyres Epigrams Apostrophies Of Stops of Commaes of Parenthesis Of Accents Figures Tautologia Of Types Tropes and Amphibologia Of Saturne Ioue of Mars of Sol's hot ranging Of Venus Mercurie of Lunaes changing Of Tragicall and Comicall predictions Of Truth of Suppositions and Fictions Of Homer Virgil Ouâ—d Taâ—â—o Terence Dâ—bartas Petrach Plutarke Horace from whence Hee hath the Art the Knowledge and the skill To win the Lawrell from the forked hill The Lawyer then begins to thunder lowder As if hee meant blow him vp with Powder With Actions Cases Capias vt legatums With Decemtales Scandala Magnatums With his Sede fendendoes and Demurs With Proffes Supplicauits Praemumrs With his Scitations Latitats Delayes And diuers more tearmes which the Law displayes With Littleton Fitzherbert Ployden Brooke With many a lawfull and Law-wrested Booke The Poet boldly yet maintaines the field And with his Inkhorne termes disdaines to yeeld Vpon the Lawyer all a fresh hee comes With Eglagues and with Epicediums With Palinodies and Pentameters With sharpe Iambicks and Hexamiters The Lawyer saw the Poet had such store Of pickeld words said hold wee 'le talke no more For thou by mee or I shall not by thee By prating neuer edified bee And for Conclusion let vs both parâ— friends And for our profits this shall bee our ends Wee Lawyers liue vpon the times Abuses Whil'st Poets starue by waâ—â—â—ng on the Muses Epigram 1. Vpon the world Notwithstanding TOm swore to Kate he neuer more would wooe her Kate wish't him hangd when â—ext he com's vnto her But Lou's great litle God the man coÌ„manding That Tom must needs goe to her Notwithstanding Kate rayld and brawld and scoulded curst and band And 'gainst Toms not withstanding did withstand At last the Notwithstanding had â—or sooke And Kate affords her Tom a welcome looke Thus Not withstanding did the warres increase And Stiffe withstanding made the friendly peace Epigram 2. HAll and his wife into the water slipt She quickly Hall fast by the Codpeece gript And reason good shee had to catch him there For hold she fast she need no drowning leare She oft had try'd and prou'd and found it so That thing would neuer to the bottome goe Epigram 3. GOod Besse forbeare â—â—â—be are thou canst full well For thou for bearing bear'st away the bell Thy patience in thy bearing men admires That bearing many wrongs yet neuer tires Epigram 4. T Is onely womens manners and their carriage That maketh them vnfit or fit for Marriage Then Madge thy carriage still so good hath bin Thou getst the Dlu'll and all by commings in Epigram 5. MAll doth commend Sims comlinesse of slature But most she likes his freenesle of his Nature For she will sweare indeed la and in truth That Sim euer a sweet natur'd youth Epigram 6. A Messenger declaring of his mind In making curtesie let a scape behind Hee looking backe peace Sirrha peace quoth he For it you talke I sure will silent be Epigram 7. THe Merchant Drubo hyer'd a seruant lasse And for her wages he doth duly pay From Christmas quarter vnto Michatlmas She hath it payd her to haire they say Sometimes betwixt the quarters she doth take it For let it come when 't t will shee'ie not forsake it And for her Master honest Drubo hee He often payes her with a standing fee. Epigram 8. FIe what an idle life man liues quoth Dicke How idely they their linâ—s away doâ— passe Whil'st paint full women wins both praise and p. Induring as they were compos'd of Brasse I thinke mens idlenesse was neuer such And women ne're were occupi'd so much Epigram 9. IT is no wonder wherefore little Nell So bigge below the waste begins to swell For being hungry in the darke she stole A hastie Pudding and deuour'd it whole Epigram 10. AS through the Citie I did lately passe At a Carts tayle a Beadle whipt a lasse I slept vnto him and I ask'd the cause Quoth he I whipt her for she brake the Lawes In letting out her for most Roome for pelfe And for her pleasure backward lay her selfe Epigram 11. A Little woman did a bigge man wed And he was loath to lye with her in bed For feare to hurt her then she spyed a Mouse That play'd and leapt and skipt about the house O Husband would I had that Mouse quoth she Her skin would make a paire of gloues for me So wide quoth he I know t will neuer tretch Content your selfe qd she young things will reach Epigram 12. A Lustie wench as nimble as an Eele Would giue a Gallant leaue to kisse and feele His itching humour straight-way was in hope To toy to wanton dally busse and grope Hold Sir quoth she my word I will not faile For you shall feele my hand and kisse my Taâ—â— Epigram 13. On Mistresse Charitie IN very deed la and sinceritie There is much Charitie in Charitie She hath so kinde so free a liberall heart That euery man of her shall haue a part Epigram 14. TWo Sheepe in Law did lately long contend And Wolfe the Lawyer must the matter end Who with his fine fines and his firking fees Dâ—awes both their purâ—es to the very lâ—es The mony gone the strife of Law did cease They fooles fell out and beggers made the peace Epigram 15. MAd dapper Dicke doth very often shift And yet hee 's lowzâ—e through the want of â—â—â—â— Epigram 16. On Madam Temperance A Man that went to trauaâ—le swore to 's wife He would loue Temp'rance as he lou'd his life Indeed he lou'd a faire and beauteous Dame Although intemperate Temp'rance was her name On whom he spent his loue his lust his â—â—â—â—â— He might as well haue
Illiaca passioes Megrims Mumps or Mange Contagious bloods which through the veins do range Sâ—â—rsses â—eazles murraines fluxes all these griefes Tâ—ansported meâ—â—â—ines daily bring releefes Most seruiceable Hempseed but for thee These helpes for man could not thus scattered be Tâ—bacoes fire would soone be quenched out Nor would it leade men by the nose about Nor could the Merchants of such Heathen Dâ—cks From small beginnings purchase mighty stocks By folles daily dancing to their pipe Their states from rotten stinking weeds grow ripe By which meanes they haue into Lordships run The Clients being beggered and vndone Who hauing smock'd their Land to fire and ayre They whiffe and puffe themselues into dispaire Ouid 'mongst all his Metamorphosis Ne're knew a * A strange change and yet not stranger then for the women of these times to be turn'd to the shapes of men transformation like to this Not yet could Ocdipus e're vnderstand How to rurne Land to smoake and smoake to Land For by the meanes of this bewitening smother Oâ—e Element is turn'd into another As Land to fire fire into Ayrie matter From ayre too late repenning turnes to water By Hempseed thus fire water aire earth all Are chang'd by padding leafe roule pipe and ball Lip licking Comfit-makers by whole trade Dainties come thou to me are quickly made Baboones and hobby horses and owles and apes Swans geese dogs woodcocks a world of shapes Castles for Ladies and for Carpet Knights Vnmercifully spoyld at feasting fights Where hattering bullets are fine sugred plums No feare of roaring guns or thundring drums There 's no tantara sa sa sa or force Of man to man or warlike horse to horse No mines no countermines no pallizidoes No parrapets or secret ambuscadoes Of bloud and wounds and dismall piercing lances Men at this fight are free from such mischances For many gailants guilded swords doe weare Who fight these battels without wit or feare All â—â—uing as they did for honour thirst All greedy which can giue the onser first Each one contending in this Candied coyle To take most prisoners and put vp most spoyle Sweet warris and dangerous toâ—th vâ—lours Retiring neuer when they doe assoile But most aduenturously with tooth and nayle Raze râ—â—â—te demol'sh and con'ound The sugred fabricke â—â—â—ll with the ground And hauing laâ—d the buildings thus along They swallow downe and pocket vp the wrong That who so that way afterwards doe passe Can see no signe where such a Castle was For at these warres most commonly 't is seene Away the victors carry all things cleane It fortunes in these battels now and then Women are better Souldiers farre then men Such sweet mouth'd fights as these doe often fall After a Christning or a Funerall Thus Hempe the Comfit-makers doth supply From them that newly liue and newly dye If the blacke Indians or Newcastle coâ—les Came not in Fleets like fishes in the sholes The rich in gownes and rugs themselues might sold But thousands of the poore might statue with cold The commodities of these blacke indiâ—s are worth more white money to vs then eyther the East or West Indâ—es â—â—â— be profitable Smiths Brewers Diers all estates that liues This little seed seruice or comfort giues For why our Kingdome could not serue our turne For Londons vse with wood uen yeares to burne And which way then could coales supply our need But by th' Almightieâ— bounty and this seed You braue Neptunians you salt water crew Sea-plowing Marriners I speake to you From Hemp you for your selues and others gaine Your Spâ—it sayle fore-sayle top-sayle your maine Top and top-gallant and your mizzâ—n abaft Your coursers bonnets drablers sore and aft The sheats tacks boliens braces halliars tyes Shrowds tatlings lanyards tackles lists and guies Your martlines ropeyarnes gaskets and your stayes These for your vse small Hemp-seed vp doth raise The boirope boatrope guestâ—rope catrope portrope The bucket rope the boat-rope long or short rope The entering-rope the top rope and the rest Which you that are acquainted with know best The lines to sound in what depth you slide Cables and hausers by which ships doe ride All these and many moe then I can name From this small seed good industry doth frame Ships Barks Hoyes Drumlers Craires Boats all would sink But for the Ocum â—aulk'd in euery chink Th'vnmatched Loadstone and best figur'd Maps Might shew where foraine Countries are perhaps The Compasse being rightly toucht will show The thirty two points where the winds do blow Men with the Iacobs staffe and Astrolobe May take the height and circuit of the Gloâ—e And sundry Art like instruments looke cleare In what Horizon or what Hemisphere Men sayle in through the raging ruthlesse deepe And to what coast such and such course to keepe Guessing by th' Artike or Antartike starre Climates and countries being ne're so farre But what can these things be of price or worth To know degrees heights depths East W.S. North What are all these but shadowes and vaine hopes If ships doe eyther want their Sailes or Ropes And now ere I offend I must confesse A little from my theame I will digresse Striuing in verse to shew a liuely forme Of an impetuous gast or deadly storme Where vncontrouled Hyperborean blasts Teares all to tatters Tacklings Sailes and Masts Where boy â—â—erous puffes of Eurus breath did hiz And mongst our shrouds and cordage wildely whiz Where thundering Ioue amidst his lightening flashing Seem'douerwhelm'd with Neptunes mountaine dashing Where glorious Titan hath his burning light Turning his bright Meridian to blacke night Where blustring Eole blew confounding breath And thonders fearefull larum threatned death Where Skyes and Seas Haile Wind and slauering Sleet As if they all at once had meant to meet In fatall opposition to expire The world and vnto Chaos backe retire Thus whilst the Winds and Seas contending gods In rough robustious fury are at ods The beaten ship tost like a forcelesse feather Now vp now downe no man knowing whither The Topmast some time tilting at the Moone And being vp doth fall againe as soone With such precipitating low descent As if to hels blacke Kingdome downe she went Poore ship that rudder or no steerage feeles Sober yet worse then any Drunkard reeles Vnmanag'd guidlesse too and fro she wallowes Which seemingly the angry billowes swallowes A storme Midst darkenesse lightning thunder sleet and raine Remorcelesse winds and mercy wanting Maine Amazement horror dread from each mans face Hid chas'd away liues bloud and in the place Was sad despaire with haire heau'd vp vpright With ashy visage and with sad affright As if grim Death with his all-murdering dart Had ayming beene at each mans bloudlesse heart One tryes the Master lower the top-saile lower Then vp aloft runs scambling three or foure But yet for all their hurly â— urly hast E're they got vp downe tumbles Saile and Mast. Veere the maine sheat there then the Master cride Let rise the fore tack on the
m Aâ—gury is a kind of Soothsaying by the slight of Birds Augury can sâ—e Diuorc'd and parted euer are we Three Old Nabaoth my case much is farre worse then thine Thou but the Vineyard lost I lost the Wine Two witnesses for bribes the false accus'd Perhaps some prating Knaues haue me abus'd Yet thy wrong's more then mine the reason why For thou wast n Naboath was stened to death so am not I. ston'd to Death so am not I. But as the Dogs did eate the flesh and gore Of Iezabell that Royall painted Whore So may the Gallowes eate some friends of mine That first striu'd to remoue me from the Wine This may by some misfortune be their lot Although that any way I wish it not But farewell bottles neuer to returne Weepe you in Sacke whilst I in Alâ— will mourne Yet though you haue no reason wit or sence I 'le sencelesse caide you for your vile offence That from your foster Father me would slide So dwell with Ignorance a blind sold guide For who in Britaine knew but o My Boules doe deserue a little reproose I to vse you And who but I knew how for to abuse you My speech to you no action sure can beare From Scandala magratum I am cleare When Vpland Tradesmen thus dares take in hand A watry businesse they not vnderstand It did presage things would turne topsie turny And the conclusion of it would be scuruie But leauing him vnto the course of Fate Bottles let you and I a while debate Call your extrauagaâ—t wild humours home And thinke but whom you are departed from I that for your sakes haue giuen stabs and stripes To glue you sucke from Hogsheads and from Pipes I that with pâ—ines and care you long haue nurst Oft fill'd you with the best and left the worst And to maintaine you full would often peirce The best of Batts a Puncheon or a Teirce Whil'st Pipes and Sack buts were the Instruments That I playdon to fill your full contents With Bastart Sack with Allegant and Rhenish Your hungry mawes I often did replenish With Malmesie Muskadell and Corcica With White Red Claret and Liatica With Hollocke Sherant Mallig Canara I stufe your sides vp with a surserara That though the world was hard my care was still To search and labour you might haue your fill That when my Master did or sup or dine He had his choyce of p This was a credit â—â— the Kings Castle and to the Lieutenant thereof fifteene sorts of Wine And as good wines they were I dare be bold As any Seller in this Land did hold Thus from these Bottles I made honour spring Besitting for the Castle of a King This Royastie my labour did maintaine When I had meat and wages for my paine Ingratefull Bettles take it not amisse That I of your vnkindnesse tell you this Sure if you could speake you could say in briefe Your greatest want was still my greatest griefe Did I not often in my bosome hugge you And in mine armes would like a Father hugge you Haue I not run through Tempests Gusts and Stormes And me with danger in strange various former All times and tydes with and against the streame Your welfare euer was my labours sheame Sleet Raine Haile Winde or Winters frosty chaps Ioues Lightning or his dreadfull Thunderclaps When all the Elements in one consoire Sad earth sharpe ayre rough water flashing fire Haue warr'd on one another as if all This world of nothing would to nothing fall When showring Haile-shot from the storming heau'n Nor blustering Gusts by AEols belching driuen Could hold me backe then oft I searcht and sought And found and vnto you the purchase brought All weathers faire foule Sunshine wet and dry I trauail'd still your paunches to supply Oft haue I fought and swagger'd in your Right And fill'd you still by eyther sleighâ—t or might And in th' Exchequer I stood for your Cause Else had you beene confounded by the Lawes I did produce such q I found and brought 30 wâ—nesses that know and tooke their â—â—â—hes of the quantity of the Bottles for 50 yeares witnesses which crost The Merchants sute else you had quite beene lost And but for me apparantly 't is knowne You had beene Kicksie winsie ouer throwne And for my Seruice and my much paines taken I am cashier'd abandon'd and forsaken I knew it well and said and swore it too That he that bought you would himselfe vndoe And I was promist that when he gaue o're That I should fill you as I did before For which foure yeares with patience I did stay Expecting he would breake or run away Which though it be falne out as I expected Yet neuerthelesse my Seruice is rejected Let men judge if I haue not cause to write Against my Fortune and the worlds despight That in my prime of strengh so long a r 14. yeares space I toyl'd and drudg'd in such a gainelesse place Whereas the best part of my life I spent And to my power gaue euery man content In all which time which I did then remaine I gaue no man occasion to complaine For vnto all that know me I appeale To speake if well or ill I vs'd to deale Or if there be the least abuse in me For which I thus from you should sundred bee For though my profit by you was but small Yet sure my Gaine was Loue in generall And that I doe not lye nor speake amisse I can bring hundreds that can witnesse this Yet for all this I euer am put off And made a scorne a By-word and a scoffe It must some villaines information be That hath maliciously abused me But if I knew the misinformingelfe I would write lines should make him hang himselfe Be he a great man that doth vse me ill That makes his will his Law and Law his will I hold a poore man may that great man tell How that in doing ill he doth not well But Bottles blacke once more haue at your breech For vnto you I onely bend my speech Full foureteene times had Sols illustrious Rayes Ran through the Zodiacke when I spent my dayes To conserue reserue prestrue and deserue Your loues wheÌ„ you with wants were like to starue A Groce of Moones and twice 12. months besides I haue attended you all time and tides â—â— I gain'd Twelue penez by you all that time May I to Tyburne for promotion Climbe For though the blinde world vnderstand it not I know there 's nothing by you can be got Except a drunken pate a scuruy word And now and then be tumbled ouer boord And though these mischiefes I haue kept me fro No other Bottleman could e're doe so 'T is knowne you haue beene stab'd throwne in the Thames And he that fild you beaten with exclaimes Marchants who haue much abused bin Which Exigents I neuer brought you in But I with peace and quietn â—â—â— got more Then any brabling o're could doe before
ALL THE WORKES OF IOHN TAYLOR THE WATER-POET Being 63 in Number COLLECTED INTO ONE VOLUM By the Author With Sundry new Additions Corrected Reuised and newly IMPRINTED 1630. ALL THE WORKES OF IOHN TAYLOR THE WATER-POET Beeing Sixty and three in Number Collected into one Volume by the AVTHOR VVith sundry new Additions corrected reuised and newly Imprinted 1630. AT LONDON Printed by J.B. for IAMES BOLER at the signe of the Marigold in Pauls Churchyard 1630. To the Right HonouraBLE THE LORD MARQVESSE HAMILTON Master of the Horse to his MAIESTIE IAMES HAMILLTON ANAGRAMMA I AMM ALL HONESTY Of words 't is vaine to vse a Multitude Your very Name all Goodnesse doth include TO THE RIGHT HONOVRABLE THE Lord Steward of his Maiesties Honourable HOVSEHOLD WILLIAM HERBERT EARLE OF PENBROKE ANAGRAMMA LIBERALY MEEKâ— FOR REPVTE HONOVRABLE What can be more then is explained here T' expresse a worthy well deseruing Peere TO THE RIGHT HONOVRABLE THE LORD Chamberlaine of his Maiesties most Honourable HOVSEHOLD PHILIP HERBERT EARLE OFF MONTGOMERY ANAGRAMMA FIRME FAITH BEGOT ALL MY PROPER HONER Firme faith begot miâ—e honor sayes my name And my firme faith shalleuer keepe the same To the Author Iohn Taylor WAst euer keowne to any time before That so much skill in Poesie could be Th'attendant to a Skull or painefull oare Thou liu'st in water but the fire in thee That mounting Element that made thee chuse To court Vrania the diuinest Muse. Row on to watermen did neuer blow Agale so good none so much goodnesse know THOMAS BREWER IOhannes Tailerus 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Ira an honesté lusi Lusi et stigmata pessimis inussi Paucis paruâ— furunt sed oh meorum Ira ipsa arbitra siste tu librorum Virus euome honesté an ipse lusi Respon Ars niuea hos lenit 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 VErbis verbera corripi merentes Non est ira â—sed ampla mititudo Esse 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 decet Poetam Sed non 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 renendum est Frendens rabula carnifex vocetur Qui aurem vellit is artifex habetur Quo sque vrit leuis ira commerentes Hos lenit niuea arâ— scitè monentis Ergo ludis honesté amor notabit Naeuos leniter hostis aggrauabit T. G. Ad amicum meritò dilectum Iohannem Tailor alià s aquinatem vulgó Poëtam aquaticum hendecasyllabae QVod numen Thamesis vagae per vndas Plectro ludit eburno deorum Physis dicitur eius hic sacerdos Fundit millia mille ab ore cantus His mulcens lepidum artibus popellum Hunc quaerit Dea hunc docet sua illi Tam secreta libenter illa pandit Quam tam rara decenter ille pendit Hic verò rutilos Tagi lapillos Et grandes Orientis vniones Si his mysteria tanta conferantur Tricas quisquiliasque censet omnes De te sabula tota mi Iohannes Verso nomine scito praedicatur Parnassus cerebrum tuum est bifurcus Cor fons est Helicon sedentque linguâ Et Musae Charites venustiores Ipse es tu tibi suggerens Apollo Extrà nil opus inuocare Diues Naturae tibi sat fauor ministrans Intus pectore delitet feraci Quod multis labor improbus dat aegré Suffuratio et impudens librorum Instinctus genij tui ingenique Momento intimat euge perge lymphas Plus vltra Thamesis beate Cygnos Moeandri vada tortuosa curui Non tot quot Thamesis canora nutrit Te vicisse iuuabit hos canendo Nos iuuabit omnia imprimendo Hoc si feceris vnda dum manebit Atque aestus Thamesis manebis ipse Et campanus vt est propheta Aquinas Anglicanus eris poeta Aquinas T. G. To my worthy and well-deseruing friend our wel-known hydropoet IOHN TAYLOR Some till their throats ake cry alowd and hollo To aucupate great fauors from Apollo One Bacchus and some other Venus vrges To blesse their brain-brats Those caerulean surges Gyrdling the earth emball thy nerues and season Those animall parts quick Organs of mans reason This Nimph-adored sountaine farre excells Aganipe Aon all that Bubulkes wells These daunst about thy Quinbro-boâ—te to kisse thee And often since roare out because they misse thee These wyned with loue sicke Thame the banks o'rswel water To visit their ingenious darlings Cell Blue Neptunes salt tempred with Thames sweet Make thee both tart and pleasing What theater Of late could Cinthius halfe staru'd mists perswade T' applaud nay not to hisse at what they made Then call on Neptune still let Delos sinke Or swimme for thee let Phoebus looke or winke VVhilst his poore Priests grow mad with ill successe That still the more they write they please the lesse Thine Amphitritean Muse growes more arrident And Phoebus tripos stoopes to Neptunes trident R. H. To his friend the Author IN sport I hitherto haue told thy same But now thy Muse doth merit greater Name Soares high to Heau'n from earth and water flies And leaâ—ing baser matters mounts the skies Where hidden knowledge she doth sweetly sing Carelesse of each inferiour common thing Oh that my Soule could follow her in this To shun fowle sin and seeke eternall blisse Her strength growes great and may God euer send Me to amend my â—aults as she doth mend ROBERT BRANTHWAITE To my honest friend Iohn Taylor WHat shall I say kind Friend to let thee know How worthily I doe this worke esteeme Whereof I thinke I cannot too much deeme From which I find a world of wit doth flow The poore vnpollisht praise I can bestow Vpon ' this well deseruing worke of thine Which heere I freely offer at thy Shrine Is like a Taper when the Sunne doth showe Or bellowes helpe for Eol's breath to blow For thou as much hast soard beyond the flraine Whereto our common Muses doe attaine As Cintyhaes light exceeds the wormes that glowâ— And were my Muse reple at with learned phrase The world should know thy work deserueth praise Thine in the best of friendship RICHARD LEIGH To the deseruing author Iohn Taylor IT is disputed much among the wise If that there be a water in the skyes If there be one no Water-man before Was euer knowne to row in 't with his Oare If none such is thy high surmounting pen It soares aboue the straine of Watermen Whether there be or no seeke farre and neere Th' art matchlesse sure in this eur hemispheere WILLIAM BRANTHWAITE Cant. To my friend Iohn Taylor ROw on good Water-man and looke back still Thus as thou dost vpon the Muses Hill To guide thee in thy course Thy Boate's a sphaere Where thine Vrania moues diuinely cleare Well hast thou pli'd and with thy learned Oare Cut through a Riner to a nobler shore Then euer any landed-at Thy saile Made all of clowdes swels with a prosp'rous gale Some say there is a Ferriman of Hell The Ferriman of Heau'n I now know well And that 's thy selfe transporting soules to Blisse
loue thee hee is either a foole or a mad man indeed our first father was too diffident towards God and too credulous toward Thee our first mother was a lyar and our first brother was a murtherer this is the sweet kindred wee came of yet thou Obewitching world doest puffe vs vp with pomp making vs forget our originall and esteeme our selues Demie-gods when we are farre lesse then men there is a more resemblance of immortalitie in a suite in Law then in the life of a man and we are so credulous that when the whoremaster is called honest man the Knaue will belieue himselfe to be so Truth is and euer hath beene dangrous to be spoken It cost Iohn Baptist his head and Clytus his life World I haue two requests to thee which if thou grant mee I will neuer thanke thee the first is good cloathes for those beare a monstrous sway because I haue occasion to speake with great men and without good cloathes like a golden sheath to a leaden blade there is no admittance Secondly that thou wilt keepe close from my Readers all preiudicate opinions or let them be perswaded that this following Booke is not of my writing for oppinion doth worke much in such cases There were Verses once much esteemed for their goodnesse because it was thought that a learned Italian Poet named Sanazarus made them but afterward being found to bee of a poore mans writing they lost their estimation An Anthem was once sung before the Dutchesse of Vrbin and but slightly regarded but after beeing knowne that Iaquin de pris made it it was extolled So for my poore inuentions of my poorer selfe were it namelesse I am perswaded that it would passe more blamelesse howsoeuer world to thee I send it I know thou hast many humours and qualities and I hope to finde some of the best of them resoluing to take my lot as it fals with patience fortitude and as many vertues as I haue and more too knowing my selfe for two conditions to haue no fellow first in beeing a Sculler secondly a VVater-Poet of the last of which there is and shall bee no more I hope And knowing further that the way to immortalitie is euer to remember mortalitie and that death hath more manners then an Ague for death will bee a mans guest but once which when hee comes I wish all men readie to bid him welcome So world in plaine termes I tell you there is no trust in you yet I like a foole put you in trùst with my Booke the reason is I am wearie of you and it and take leaue to leaue you IOHN TAYLOR Errata or Faults to the Reader FAults but not faults escap'd I would they were If they were faults escap'd they were not here But heere they are in many a page and line Men may perceiue the Printers faults or mine And since my faults are heere in prison fast And on record in print are like to last Since the Correcters let them passe the Presse And my occasions mix'd with sicknesses And that foure Printers dwelling farre asunder Did print this booke pray make the faults no wonder I will confesse my faults are â—cap'd indeed If they escape mens Censure when they read No Garden is so cleare but weedes are in 't All is not Gold that 's coined in the Mint The Rose hath prickles and the spots of sinne Oft takes the fairest features for their Inne Below the Moone no full perfection is And alwaies some of vs are all amisse Then in your reading mend each mis-plac'd letter And by your iudgement make bad words â—ound better Where you may hurt heale where you can affect There helpe and cure or else be not too strict Looke through your fingers wink conniue at mee And as you meet with faults see and not see Thus must my faults escape or escape neuer For which good Readers I am yours for euer IOHN TAYLOR In laudem Authoris THou hast no learning yet with learned skill Thou dost write well although thy meanes be ill And if I could I would thy merits raise And crowne thy temples with immortall Bayes Thine in the best of friendship ABRAHAM VIELL TAYLORS VRANIA To the Vnderstander SEe here the Pride and Knowledge of a Sayler His Sprit-saile Fore-saile Main-saile his Mizzâ—â— A poore fraile man God wot I know none frailer I know for Sinners Christ is dead and rizen I know no greater â—inner then Iohn Taylor Of all his Death did Ransome out of Prizzen And therefore here 's my Pride if it be Pride To know Christ and to know him Crucifide 1 ETernall God which in thine armes do'st Graspe All past all present and all future things And in ineuitable doome dost claspe The liues and deaths of all that dyes and springs And at the doomefull day will once vnhaspe Th' accusing booke of Subiects and of Kings In whom though ending nor beginning be Let me O Lord beginne and end in thee 2 All cogitations vaine from me remooue And cleanse my earthly and polluted heart Inspire me with thy blessings from aboue That to thy honour I with Artlesse Art May sing thy Iustice Mercy and thy Loue Possesse me with thy Grace in euery part That no prophane word issue from my pen But to the Glory of thy name Amen 3 I doe beseech thee gracious louing Father Reiect me not in thy sharpe iudging Ire But in thy multitude of Mercies Rather Recall me to thee Recollect me Nigher My wandring Soule into thy bosome Gather And with thy Grace my gracelesse heart Inspire Dictate vnto my mind what it may thinke Write with thy Spirit what I may write with ink 4 Thou all things wast cu'n then when nothing was And then thou all things did'st of nothing make Of nothing All thou still hast brought to passe And all againe to nothing must betake When sea shall burne and lâ—â—d shall melt like brasse When hills shall tremble and the mountaines quakâ— And when the World to Chaos turneâ— againe Then thou Almighty All shalt All remaine 5 And since this vniuersall massie ball This earth this aire this water and this fire Must to a ruine and a period fall And all againe to nothing must retire Be thou to me my onely All in All Whose loue and mercy neuer shall expire In thee I place my treasure and my trust Where Fellon cannot steale or canker rust 6 All things but only God at first began The vncreated God did all Create In him Alone is equall will and can Who hath no ending or commencing date To whose Eternitie all time 's a span Who was is shal be euer in one state All else to nothing hourely doth decline And onely stands vpon support Diuine 7 Our high Creator our first Parents form'd And did inspire them with his heau'nly spirit Our Soules-seducer Satan them deform'd And from Gods fauour did them disinherit Our blest Redeemer them againe reform'd And ransom'd them by his vnbounded merit Thus were
cocks Drakes with the ducks all male and female stocks The Ewe the Ram the Lambe and the sat weather In generall are called sheepe together Harts Stages Bucks Does Hinds Roes Fawnes euery where Are in the generality call'd Deere So Hemp and Flax or which you list to name Are male and female both one and the same Those that 'gainst these comparisons deride And will not with my lines be satisfide Let them imagine e'â—e they doe condemne I loue to play the foole with such as them The cause why Hempseed hath endur'd this wrong And hath its worthy praise obscur'd so long I doe suppose it to bee onely this That Poets know their insufficience is That were earth Paper and Sea inke they know 'T were not enough great Hempseeds worth to show I muse the Pagans with varietie Of godles Gods made it no Deity Heeree followes the names of most of the heathen Gods and â—â—â—s The AEgyptians to a Bull they Arts nam'd A temple most magnificent they framed The â—â—is Crocodile a cat a dog The Hippopostamy beetles or a frog â—â—â—â—â—â—mons dragons the wolfe aspe â—â—le and Râ—â— Base beastly gods for such curst â—â—â—â— of Cham â—â—s were so with I dolatry misted They worship'd Onioâ—s and a garlike hâ—ad If these people had tasted but a messe of Tewxbury must and they would surely haue honoured it â—ot a God or â—eared it as a â—â—â—â—â— King Ieroboam for his gods did take Two golden calues and the truâ— God forsake â—â—â— Philistins and the Assirians The Persians and Babilonians Sâ—â—â—â—ritâ—ns and the Arabians The Thebans Spartans and Athenians The Indians Parthians and the Libians The Britaines Galliant and Hibernians Since the first Chaos or creation â—â—â—ry hath crept in euery Nation And as the diuell did mens minds inspire Some worshipt earth seme aire or water fire Windes Riuers Rainbow Stars and Moone and Sun Ceres and Bacchus riding on his â—un Mars Saturne Ioue Apollo Mercury Priapus and the Queene of techery Vulcan Diana Pluto Proserpine Pâ—â—â—â—â— Neptune and Panâ— piping shrine Old Bâ—â—â—m Berâ—câ—rthia Stones and Trees Bâ—witâ—â—â—â— creatâ—râ—â— worshipt on their knees Bâ—â—l Bâ—â—â—z â—â—â— Niâ—roâ—â— the Diâ—â—ll and Dâ—â—gon Ashâ—aâ—â—oth Râ—mmon Belus Bâ—li the Dragon Flies soules hawkes â—â—â—men any thing they saw Their very Pâ—â—â—ies they did serne with awe And theâ— did sacrifice at sundry â—â—â—sts Their châ—â—â—â—eâ— vnto diuels stockes stones and beasts O had these men the worth of Humpseed knowne Their bâ—â—â—â— zâ—â—â— no doubt they would haue showne In building Temples and would alters frame Lake Ephesus to great Dianaes name And therefore Merchants Marrâ—ners people all Of all trades on your marrow bones â—â—â—â—â— fall For you could neither rose or bâ—te or â—â—p If noble Hempseed did not hold you vp And Reader now â—â—â—â—â—â—â— it is â—â—â—â—â—â— To come vnto the matter with my â—â—â—â— But iudge not â—â—â—â— you â—â—â— well read and scan'd And asks your selues if you dec vnder stand And if you can doe but this fauour shew Make no ill faces cryâ—â—â—â—â—â—â— and â—â—mew For though I dare not brag I dare â—â—â—â— taine Tâ—ue censurers will iudge I haue â—â—â—â— paine Vnto the wise I humbly doe submit For those that play the fooles for want of wit My poore reuenge against them stâ—â—â— shall be I le laugh at them whilst they doe scoffe at me THE PRAISE OF HEMP-SEED WITH The Voyage of Mr. Roger Bird and the Writer hereof in a Boat of browne-Paper from London to Quinborough in Kent SWeet sacred Muses my inuention raise Vnto the life to writâ—â— great Hempseeds praise This grain growes to a stalk wrose coat or â—â—in Good industry doth â—aâ—chellâ—t â—â—â— and â—pin And for mans best aduantage and auailes It makes clothes cordage halters ropes and sailes From this small Aâ—ome mighty matters springs It is the Art of nauigations wings It spreads aloft the lofty skie it scales â—â—â—s o're the great Leuiathan and Whales Dâ—â—es to the boundlesse bottome of the deepe What Neptune doth mongst dreadful monsters keep From Pole to pole it cuts both Seas and Skyes From th'orient to the occident it flyes Kings that are sâ—ndred farre by Seas and Lands It makes them in a manner to shake hands It fils our Land with plenty wonderfull From th'Esterne Indiâ—â— from the great Mogull From France from Portiagale from Venice Spaine From Denmarke Norwâ—y it seâ—ds o'er the maine Vnto this Kingdome it doth wealth acrue From beyond China farre beyond ' Peru From Beâ—gâ—a Almaine the West Indies and From Guiny Biny â—â—â—and New sound land This little seed is the great instrument To shew the power of God Omnipotent Whereby the glorious Gospell of his Sonne Millions misled soules hath from Sathan wonne It is an instrument by the appointment of God for the encrease of the Gospell of Christ. Those that knew no God in the times of yore Now they their great Creator doe adore And many that did thinke they did doe well To giue themselues a sacrifice to Hell And seru'd the Diuell with th' inhumane slaughters Of their vnhappy haplesse sonnes and daughters Now they the remnant of their liues doe frame To praise their Makers and Redeemers name Witnesse Virginia witnesse many moe Witnesse our selues few hundred yeares agoe When in Religion and in barbarous natures We were poore wretched misbeleeuing creatures How had Gods Preachers faild to sundry coasts Tinstrust men how to know the Lord of Hosts But for the Sayles which he with wind doth fill As Seruants to accomplish his great will But leauing this high supernaturall straine I 'le talke of Hempseed in a lower vaine How should we haue gold siluer jems or Iewels Wine oyle spice rice and diuers sorts of fewels Food for the belly clothing fot the baâ—ke Silke Sattin Veluat any thing we lacke To serue necesâ—icies How should we get Such sorts of plenteous fish but with the net The smelt Roaoh Salmon Flounder and the Dace Would in fresh riuers keeps their dwelling place The Ling Cod Herring Sturgeon such as these Would liâ—e and dyâ— in their owne natiue Seas Without this feed the Whale could not be caught Whereby our oyles are out of Greenland brought Nay wer 't not for the net made of this seed Mâ—n could not catch a Sprat whereon to feed Besides it liberally each where bestowes A liuing vpon thousands where it growes As beaters Spinners Weauers and a crue Of halter makers which could sâ—â—rce line true But for th' imployment which this little graine Doth vse them in and payes them for their paine Mirth and Truth are good companions The Rope makers the Net makers and all Would be trade falne for their trade would fall Besides what multitudes of Fishers are In euery Sea townâ— numbers past compare Whilest they their seruants children and their wiues From Hempsceed get their liuing all their liues The Fish-mongers would quickly goe to wrack The lacke of this seed would be their great lack And being now rich and in good reputation They would haue neither Hall nor Corporation
therefore vp with them The Schismaticall Separaust I haue many times discourst with him and though hee be but a Botcher or a Button-maker and at the most a lumpe of opinionated ignorance yet he will seeme to wring the Scriptures to his opinions and presume to know more of the mysteries of Religion then any of our reuerend learned Bishops and Doctors I know this worke will be vnrelished in the pestiferous pallats of the dogmaticall Amsterdammarists but I doe must and will acknowledge a most reuerend honour and regard vnto the sacred memory of this blessed Virgin Lady Mother of our Lord and Redeemer IESVS and in my thoughts she shall euer haue superlatiue respect aboue all Angels Principalities Patriarkes Prophets Apostles Euangelists or Saints whatsoeuer vnder the blessed Trinity yet mistake me not as there is a difference betwixt the immortali Creator and a mortall creature so whilst I haue warrant sufficient from God himselfe to inuocate his name onely I will not giue Man Saint or Angell any honour that may bee derogatory to his Eternall Maiestie As amongst women she was blest aboue all being aboue all full of Grace so amongst Saints I beleeue she is supreme in Glory and it is an infallible truth that as the Romanists doe dishonour her much by their superstitious honourable seeming attributes so on the other part it is hellish and odious to God and good men either to forget her or which is worâ—e to remember her with impure thoughts or vnbeseeming speech for the excellency of so Diuine a Creature I confesse my selfe the meanest of men and most vnworthy of all to write of her that was the best of Women but my hope is that Charity will couer my faults and accept of my good meaning especially hauing endeuoured and striuen to doe my best So wishing all hearts to giue this holy Virgin such honour as may be pleasing to God which is that all should patterne their liues to her liues example in lowlinesse and humility and then they shall be exalted where she is in Glory with eternity IOHN TAYLOR THE LIFE AND DEATH OF THE MOST BLESSED AMONGST ALL VVOMEN THE VIRGIN MARY The Mother of our Lord IESVS CHRIST BEfore the fire ayre water earth were fram'd Sunne Moone or any thing vnnam'd or naun'd God was who ne'r shal end nor ne'r began To whom all ages and all time 's a span By whose appointment each thing fades or growes And whose eternall knowledge all things knowes When Adams sinne pluck'd downe supernall lre And Iustice iudg'd him to infernall fire The Mercy did the execution stay And the great price of mans great debt did pay And as a Woman tempted Man to vice For which they both were thrust from Paradise So from a woman was a Sauiours birth That purchas'd Man a Heauen for losse of earth Our blest Redeemers Mother that blest Shee Before the World by God ordain'd to be A chosen vessell fittest of all other To be the Sonne of Gods most gracious Mother She is the Theame that doth my Muse inuite Vnworthy of such worthinesse to write I will no prayers nor inuocations frame For intercession to this heau'nly Dame Nor to her name one fruitlesse word shall runne To be my Mediatresse to her Sonne But to th' eternall Trinity alone I le sing He sigh He inuocate and mone I prize no creatures glory at that rate The great Creators praise t'extenuate But to th' Almighty ancunt of all dayes Be all dominion honour laud and praise I write the blest conception birth and life Of this beloued Mother Virgin Wife The ioyes the griefes the death and buriall place Of her most glorious gracious full of grace Her Father IOACHIM a vertuous man Had long liu'd childlesse with his wife S. ANNE And both of them did zealously intend If God did euer Sonne or Daughter send That they to him would dedicate it solely To be his seruant and to liue most holy God heard and granted freely their request And gaue them MARY of that sex the best At three yeeres age she to the Temple went And there eleu'n yeeres in deuotion spent At th' end of fourteene yeeres it came to passe This Virgin vnto IOSEPH spoused was Then after foure months time was past and gone Th' Almighty sent from his tribunall throne His great Ambassador which did vnfold The great'st ambassage euer yet was told Haile MARY full of heau'nly grace quoth he The high omnipotent Lord is with thee Blest amongst women oâ— Gods gracious doome And blessed be the fruâ—â— of thy blest wombe The Angels presence and the words he said This sacred vndefiled Maid dismaid Amazed musing what this message meant And wherefore God this messenger had sent Feare not said GAERIEL MARY most renown'd Thou with thy gracious God hast sauour foâ—â—â—â— For lo thou shalt conceiue and beare a Sunne By whom redemption and saluation's wonne And thou bis sauing Name shalt IESVS call Because hee'lâ— come to saue his people all She humbly mildly heau'ns high Nuncius heares But yet to be resolu'd of doubts and feares How can these things quoth she accomplisht be When no man hath knowledge had with me The Holy Ghost the Angell then replide Shall come vpon thee and thy God and guide The power of the most High shall shadow thee That Holy thing that of thee borne shall be Shall truely called be the Sonne of God Be whom Sinne Death and Hell shall downe be trod Then MARY to these speeches did accord And said Behold the hand-Maid of the Lord Be it to me ' according to ' thy well I am thine owne obedient seruant still This being said she turn'd her Angel tongne My soule doth magnist the Lord the song My spirit and all my faculties and doyce In God my Sauiour solely doth reioyce For though mans sinnes prouoke his grieuous wrath His humble hand-maid he remembred hath For now behold from this time hence I forth shall All generations me right blessed call He that is mighty me hath magnifide And bo'y is his name his mercies hide On them that feare him to prouoke his rage Throughout the spacious world from age to age With his strong arme he hath shew'd strength and batterd The proud and their imaginations scatterd He hath put downe the mighty from their seat The mecke and humble he exalted great To fill the hungry he is prouident When as the rich away are empty sent His mercies promis'd Abr'am and his seed He hath remembred and holpe Israels need This Song she sung with heart and holy spright To land her Makers mercy and his might And the like Song sung with so sweet a straine Was neuer nor shall e'r be sung againe When MARY by the Angels speech perceiu'd How old ELIZABETH a child conceiu'd To see her straight her pious minde was bent And to Ierusalem in three dayes she went And as the Virgin come from Nazareth Talk't with her kinfwoman ELIZABETH IOHN Baptist then vnnam'd an vnborne boy
should haue a Nation purg'd and pure And as Elizabeth when she went hence Was wayted on as did be seeme a Prince Of all degrees to tend her Maiestie Neere forty thousand in that yeere did dye That as she was belou'd of high and lowe So at her death their deaths their loues did showe Whereby the world did note Elizabeth Was louingly attended after death So mighty Iames the worlds admired mireur True faiths defending friend sterne Foe to Errour When he Great Britains glorious Crown did leaue A Crowne of endlesse glory to receaue Then presently in lesse then eight months space Full eighty thousand follow him a pace And now that Royall Iames intombed lyes And that onr gracious Charles his roome supplies As Heau'n did for his Father formerly A sinfull Nation cleanse and purifie So God for him these things to passe doth bring And mends the Subiects for so good a King Vpon whose Throne may peace and plenty rest And he and his Eternally be blest NOw for a Conclusion in Prose I must haue one touch more at the vncharitablenesse and ingratitude of those beastly barbarous cruell Country Canibals whom neither the entreaty of the healthy or misery of the sicke could moue to any sparke of humanity or Christian compassion their ingratitude being such that although the Citty of London hath continually extended her bounty towards the Countries in generall and particular necessities for repairing their Churches Bridges and high wayes for their wrackes by sea for their losses by fire for their â—inundations by water for many Free-scholes Alme-houses other workes of piety and charity most largely and aboundantly expressed and most apparantly knowne vnto them yet notwithstanding all these and much more then I can recollect these Grunting Girigashites these Hog-rubbing Gadarens suffers the distressed sonnes and daughters of this famous fostering City to languish pine starue and dye in their streetes fields ditches and high-wayes giuing or allowing them no reliefe whilest they liued or burials being dead whose liues in many places might haue beene saued with the harbours and entertainment which the currish Nabals did afford their swine They haue their excuses and by the fault of their hard-heartednesse vpon the strict command from the Iustices and Magistrates alas a staffe is quickely found to beate a dogg for let it be granted that the Iustices and men of Authoritie did command and counsell then to be wary and carefull yet I am sure that neither God or any Christian or good Magistrate did euer command or exhort them to be cruell vnmercifull vnthankefull barbarous inhumane or vncharitable for it there were â—â— are any either Iustice or other of that hellis and hoggish disposition let him or them expect to howle with Diues for being so vncompassionate What haue you beene but murtherers of your Christian brethren and sisters for the rule of charity saith that whosoeuer heeor they be that may relieue or helpe the necessities of others and doth reiect or neglect it by which meanes those that are in want doe perish that they are murtherers and as many of our Country Innes and Ale-houses haue vnchang'd their signes because they will giue no harbour vpon any condition to neither whole or sicke so without Repentance and Gods great mercy some of them must expect to hang in hell for their inhospitable want or pittie What madnesse did possesse you did you thinke that none but Citizens were marked for death that onely a blacke or ciuill fuâ— of apparell with a Ruffe-band was onely the Plagues liuery No you shall find it otherwayes for a Russet Coat or a sheepe-skin couer is no Armour of proofe against Gods Arrowes though you shut vp barracado your dores and windowes as hard as your hearts and heads were Ramd against your distressed brethren yet death will find you and leaue you to iudgement The Booke of God doth yeeld vs many presidents and examples that we are to be carefull to preserue life it is madnesse to stand wilfully vnder a falling house or to sleep whilst the water ouer-flow vs to runne desperatly into the fire or not auoid a shot or a stroke of a sword It is lawfull to auoid famine to shun the Leper the great or small Pox and many other diseases for if Physicke be good to restore health it is wisdome to preserue health to preuent Physicke The skilfull Mariner in a dangerous storme or tempest will make the hest haste he can into a safe hauen or a good harbour I am commanded to loue my neighbour and to bee carefull to helpe him in the preseruation of his life and therefore I must be respectfull of mine owne Our Sauiour Christ although he was God omnipotent whose becke or the least of his commands could haue consumed Herod and crushed him and his Tyraâ—ny to nothing yet did he please not to vse the power and strength of his Godhead but for our instruction and example shewing the weaknesse and imbecillity of his humanity hee fled from Herod into Egypt By this which hath beene written it is apparent that it is lawfull for any man to absent himselfe if his calling will permit the same from manifest and approaching danger oâ— his life Beasts Fowles and Fishes will shunne their destruction Wormes and contemptible vermine as lice and slâ—as will crawle creepe and skip to saue themselues from death therefore man that hath being Life Sence Reason and Hope of immortalitie may lawfully seeke his owne preseruation But if there be any that haue out of a slauish or vnchristian-like feare fled or runne-away from this famous City in this lamentable visitation I meane such as left neither prayer or purse to relieue those that vnderwent the grieuous burthens of sickenesse and calamity such as trusted more in the Country aide then in heauenly prouidence such as imagined that their safety was by their owne care and industry not remembring that their sinnes and transgressions haue helped to pull downe Gods wrath vpon their afflicted brethren and Sisters I say if any such there be that attribute their preseruation to their owne discreet carriage giuing the praise to the meanes not much minding the All-sufficient cause and Giuer of the meanes If any such haue fallen into the vncourteous pawes of the sordid Rusticles or Clownish Coridons let them know that Gods blessings are worth thankes and that they were iuslly plagued for their vnthankefulnesse And some haue beene too swift and fearefull in flying so many haue beene too slow and aduenturous in staying depending too much vpon a common and desperate opinion that their times are fixed that their dayes are numbred that their liues are limited so that till God hath appointed they shall not dye and that it lyes not in them or any power of man to lengthen life All these Assertions are true and I must needs grant vnto them But for as much as God is the Land Lord of life and puts it as his Tenants in our frailc Tenements although
calling by all meanes to make the reckoning great or to make vs men of great reckoning But in his payment he was tyred like a Iade leauing the Gentleman that was with me to discharge the terrible Short or else one of my horses must haue laine in pawne for his superfluous calling and vnmannerly intrusion But leauing him I left Huntington and rode on the Sunday to Puckeridge where Master Holland at the Faulkon mine old acquaintance and my louing and ancient Hoste gaue mee my friend my man and our horses excellent cheere and welcome and I paid him with Not a penny of money The next day I came to London and obscurely coming within More-gate I went to a house and borrowed money And so I stole backe againe to Iflington to the signe of the Mayden head staying till Wednesday that my friends came to meete me who knew no other but that Wednesday was my first comming where with all loue I was entertained with much good cheere and after Supper we had a play of the life and death of Guy of Warwicke played by the Right Honourable the Earle of Darbâ— his men And so on the Thursday morning being the fifteenth of October I came home to my house in London THE EPILOGVE TO ALL MY ADVENTVRERS AND OTHERS THus did I neither spend or begge or aske By any course direct or indirectly But in each tittle I perform'd my taske According to my bill most circumspectly I vow to God I haue done SCOTLAND wrong And iustly ' gainst me it may bring an Action I haue not giuen 't that right which doth belong For which I am halle guilty of detraction Yet had I wrote all things that there I saw Misiudging censures would suppose I flatter And so my name I should in question draw Where Asses bray and prattling Pies doe chatter Yet arm'd with truth I publish with my Pen That there th' Almighty doth his blessings heape In such aboundant food for Beasts and Men That I ne're saw more plenty or more cheape Thus what mine eyes did see I doe beleeue And what I doe beleeue I know is true And what is true vnto your hands I giue That what I giue may be beleeu'd of you But as for him that sayes I lye or dote I doe returne and turne the Lye in 's throate Thus Gentlemen amongst you take my ware You share my thankes and I your moneyes share Yours in all obseruance and gratefulnesse euer to be commanded IO TAYLOR FINIS THE GREAT EATER OR PART OF THE ADMIRABLE TEETH AND STOMACKS EXPLOITS OF NICHOLAS WOOD OF HARRISOM IN THE COVNTY OF KENT HIS EXCESSIVE MANNER OF EATING WITHOVT MANNERS IN STRANGE AND TRVE MANNER DESCRIBED BY IOHN TAILOR REcords and Histories doe make memorable mention of the diuersitie of qualities of sundry famous persons men and women in all the Countries and Regions of the world how some are remembred for their Piety and Pitty some for Iustice some for Seuerity for Learning Wisedome Temperance Constancie Patience with all the vertues Diuine and morall Some againe haue purchased a memory for Greatnesse and Talnesse of body some for Dwarfish smalnesse some for beautifull outsides faire feature and composition of Limbs and stature many haue gotten an earthly perpetuity for cruelty and murther as Nero Commodus and others for Leachery as Heliogabalus for Drunkennesse Tiberius alias Biberius for Effeminacy as Sardanapalus for Gluttony Aulus Vitellius who at one supper was serued with two thousand sorts of fishes and seuen thousand sowles as Suetonius writes in his ninth Booke and Iosephus in his fifth Booke of the Iewes warres Calâ—gula was famous for Ambition for hee would bee ador'd as a God though he liu'd like a Deuill poysoning â—â—â— Vnkle and deflowring all his Sisters And in â—â— ages and Countries time hath still producâ—â— particular persons men women either â—â—â— their vertnes or their vices to be remembred that by meditating on the good we may bâ— imitating their goodnesse and by viewing â—â—â—â— bad we might be eschewing thier vices To descend lower to more familiar examples I haue knowne a great man very expâ—â—â— on the Iewe-harpe a rich heire excellenâ—â— Noddy a Iustice of the Peace skilfull â—â— Quoytes a Marchants wife a quicke Gaâ—â—â—ster at Irish especially when she came to beâ—ring of men that she would seldome misse â—â—â—â—tring Monsieur La Ferr a French-man â—â—â— the first inuentor of the admirable Gameâ— Double-hand Hot-cockles Gregorie Daâ—â—â—â— an English man deuised the vnmatchable mystery of Blind-man-buffe Some haue â—â—â— a gility to ride Poast some the facility â—â—runne Poast some the dexterity to â—â—â—â— Post and some the ability to speake poâ—â— For I haue heard a fellow make a Hackney â—â— his tongue in a moment he hath gallop'dâ— â—ye from China to London without Bridle or â—addle Others doe speake poast in a thicke â—â—â—â—ing kind of Ambling-trot and that in â—â—ch speede that one of them shall talke more â—â— one quarter of an houre then shall be vnderstood in seuen yeeres And as euery one â—â—â—h particular qualities to themselues and diâ—â—onant from others so are the manners of â—iues or liuings of all men and women vaâ—ious one from another as some get their liâ—ing by their tounges as Interpreters Lawâ—ers Oratours and Flatterers some by â—â—yles as Maquerellaes Concubines Curâ—â—â—anes or in plaine English Whores Some by theiâ— feete as Dancers Lackeyes Footmen and Weauers and Knights of the publicke or common order of the Forke Some by their braines as Politicians Monopolists Proiectmongers Suit-ioggers and Stargaâ—ers Some like the Salamander liue by fire â—s the whole Race of Tubalcaine the Vulâ—anean Broode of Blacksmiths fire-men Colliers Gunners Gun-founders and all sorts of mettle-men Some like the Cameleon by the Ayre and such are Poets Trumpetters Cornets Recorders Pipers Bag-pipers and some by smoake as Tobaconists Knights of the Vapour Gentlemen of the Whiffe Esquires of the Pipe Gallants in Fumo Some liue by the Water as Herrings doe such are Brewers Vintners Dyers Mariners Fisher-men and Sâ—ullers And many like Moles liue by the Earth as griping Vsurers racking Landlords toyling Plowmen moyling Labourers painefull Gardners and others Amongst all these before mentioned and many more which I could recite this subiect of my Pen is not for his qualitie inferiour to any and as neere as I can I will stretch my wit vpon the Tenters to describe his name and Character his worthy Actes shall be related after in due time duely And Be it knowne vnto all men to whom these presents shall come that I Iohn Taylor Waterman of Saint Sauiours in Southwarke in the County of Surrey the Writer hereof c. will write plaine truth bare and threed-bare and almost starke-naked-truth of the descriptions and remarkable memorable Actions of Nicholâ—â— Wood of the Parish of Harrisóm in the County of Kent Yeoman for these considerations following First I were to blame to write more then truth because that which is knowne to be true is enough Sâ—condly
I finde an Hostesse with a Tongue As nimble as it had on Gimmols hung 'T will neuer tyre though it continuall toyl'd ' And went as yare as if it had bin Oyl'd All 's one for that for ought which I perceiue It is a fault which all our Mothers haue And is so firmely grafted in the Sexe That he 's an Asse that seemes thereat to vexe Apolloâ—s becames began to guild the Hils And West Southwest the winde the Welkin fiâ—s When I left Harwich and along we ' Row'd Against a smooth calme stood that stifly flow'd By Bawdsey Hauen and by Orsord Nasse And so by Aldbrough we at last did passe By Lestoffe we to Yarmouth made our way Our third dayes trauell being Saturday There did I see a Towne well fortifide Well gouern'd with all Natures wants supplide The situation in a wholsome ayre The buildings for the most part sumptuous faire The people courteous and industrious and With labour makes the Sea inrich the Land Besides for ought I know this one thing more The Towne can scarcely yeeld a man a Whore It is renownd for Fishing farre and neere And sure in Britaine it hath not a Peere But noble Nash thy fame shall liue alwaies Thy witty Pamphlet the red * It hath not a fellow in England for fishing A Bocâ—e called The praise of the red Herring Herring praise Hath done great Yarmouth much renowned right And put my artlesse Muse to silent quite On Sunday we a learned Sermon had Taught to confirme the good reforme the bad Acquaintance in the Towne I scarce had any And sought for none in feare to finde too many Much kindnesse to me by mine Host was done A Mariner nam'd William Richardson Besides mine Hostesse gaue to me at last A Cheese with which at Sea we brake our fast The gift was round and had no end indeed But yet we made an end of it with speed My thankes surmounts her bounty all men sees My gratitudes in Print But where 's the Cheese So on the Munday betwixt one and twaine I tooke my leaue and put to Sea againe Down Yarmouth Road we'row'd with cutting speed The winde all quiet Armes must doe the deed Along by Castor and Sea-bordring Townes Whose Cliffes shores abide stern Neptunes frowns Sometimes a mile from land and sometimes two As depthes or sands permitted vs to doe Till drawing toward night we did perceiue The winde at East and Seas began to heaue The rowling Billowes all in fury roares And tumbled vs we scarce could vse our Oares Thus on a Lee-shore darknesse 'gan to come The Sea grew high the winds 'gan hisse and hum The foaming curled waues the shore did beate As if the Ocean would all Norfolke â—ate To keepe at Sea was dangerous I did thinke To goe to Land I stood in doubt to sinke Thus landing or not landing I suppos'd We were in perill * And a ship Carpenter VVE were in a puzzell round about inclos'd At last to rowe to shore I thought it bâ—st Mongst many euils thinking that the least My men all pleas'd to doe as I command Did turne the Boats head opposite to land And with the highest waue that I could spie I bade them rowe to shore immediately When straight we all leap'd ouer-boord in haste Some to the knees and some vp to the waste Where sodainely 'twixt Owle-light and the darke We pluck'd the Boat beyond high-high-water marke And thus halfe sowsd halfe stewd with Sea swâ—â—â— We land at Cromer Towne halfe dry halfe wet But we supposing all was safe and well â—â—â— shunning * We were like Flounders aliue in a frying-pan that leap'd into the fire to saue themselues Sylla on Caribdis fell For why some Women and some Children there That saw vs land were all possest with feare And much amaz'd ran crying vp and downe That Enemies were come to take the Towne Some said that we were Pirats some said Theeues And what the women sayes the men beleeues With that foure Constables did quickly call Your ayde â— to Armes you men of Cromer all Then straitway forty men with rusty Bils Some arm'd in Ale all of approued skils Deuided into foure stout Regiments To guard the Towne from dangerous Euents Braue Captaine * These were the names the cumbersome Cromorian Constables Pescod did the Vantguard lead And Captaine Clarke the Rereward gouerned Whilst Captaine Wiseman and hot Captaine Kâ—mble Were in the mayne Battalia fierce and nimble One with his squadron watch'd me all the night Left from my lodging I should take my slight A second like a man of simple note Did by the Sea side all night watch my Boate The other two to make their names Renownd Did Guard the Town brauely walk the Rownd And thus my Boat my selfe and all my men Were stoutly Guarded and Regarded then For they were all so full with feare possest That without mirth it cannot be exprest My Inuention doth Curuet my Muse doth Caper My pen doth daunce out lines vpon the Paper And in a word I am as full of mirth As mighty men are at their first sonnes birth Methinkes Moriscoes are within my braines And Heyes and Antiques run through all my veines Heigh to the tune of Trenchmoore I could write The valiant men of Cromers sad affright As Sheepe doe feare the Wolfe or â—eese the Fox So all amazed were these sencelesse Blockes That had the Towne beene fir'd it is a doubt But that the women there had pist it out And from the men Reek'd such a fearefull sent That people three * People did come theâ—ther 3. or 4. miles about to know what the matter was miles thence mus'd what it ment And he the truth that narrowly had sifted Had found the Constables had need t' haue shifted They did examine me I answer'd than I was Iohn Taylor and a Waterman And that my honest fellow Iob and I Were seruants to King Iames his Maiesty How we to Yorke vpon a Mart were bound And that we landed fearing to be drownd When all this would not satisfie the Crew I freely op'd my Trunke and bade them view I shew'd them Bookes of Chronicles and Kings Some Prose some Verse and idle Sonettings I shew'd them all my Letters to the full Some to Yorkes Archbishop and some to Hull But had the twelue Apostles sure beene there My witnesses I had beene ne'r the * I had as good hâ—ue said nothing neere And let the vse all Oathes that I could vse They still were harder of beliefe then Iewes They wanted faith and had resolu'd before Not to beleeue what e'er we said or swore They said the world was full of much deceit And that my Letters might be * Diligent Officers counterfeit Besides there 's one thing bred the more dislike Because mine Host was knowne a Catholike These things concurring people came in Clusters And multitudes within my lodging Musters That I was almost wooried vnto death In
a Mace Great and well Guilt to do the Towne more grace Are borne before the Maior and Aldermen And on Festiuities or high dayes then Those Magistrates their Scarlet Gownes doe weare And haue sixe Sergeants to attend each yeare Now let men say what Towne in England is That truly can compare it selfe with this For Scituation strength and Gouernment For Charity for Plenty for Content For state And one thing more I there was told Not one Recusant all the Towne doth hold Nor as they say ther 's not a Puritan Or any nose-wise foole Precisian But great and small with one consent and will Obey his Maiesties Iniunctions still They say that once therein two Sisters dwelt Which inwardly the pricke of Conscience felt They came to London hauing wherewithail To buy two Bibles all Canonicall Th' Apocryâ—ha did put them in some doubt And therefore both their bookes were bound without Except those two I ne'r did heare of any At Hull though many places haue too many But as one scabbed sheepe a slocke may marre So there 's one man whose nose did stand a jarre Talk'd very scuruily and look'd ascue Because I in a worthy Towns-mans Pue Was plac'd at Church when God knowes I ne'r thought To sit there I was by the Owner brought This Squire of low degree displeased than Said I at most was but a Water-man And that they such great kindnesse setting forth Made more a' th flesh then e'r the broth was worth Which I confesse but yet I answer make 'T was more then I with manners could forsake He sure is some high-minded Pharisee Or else infected with their heresie And must be set downe in their Catalogues They lou'd the highest seats in Synagogues And so perhaps doth he for ought I know He may be mounted when I sit below But let him not a Water-man despise For from the water he himselfe did rise And windes and water both on him haue smil'd Else The great Marchant he had ne'r bin stil'd His Character I finely will contrue He 's scornefull proud and talking talkatiue A great Ingrosser of strange speech and newes And one that would sit in the highest Pues But bate an Ace he 'l hardly winne the game And if I list I could rake * But I was euer better with forks to scatter then with Rakes to gather therefore I would not haue the Townes-men to mistake chalke for Cheese or Robert for Richard out his name Thanks M r. Maior for my Bacon Gammon Thankes Roger Parker for my small fresh Sammon 'T was ex'lent good and more the truth to tell ye Boyl'd with a fine Plum-Pudding in the belly The sixth of August well accompani'd With best of Townes-men to the waters side There did I take my leaue and to my Ship I with my Drum and Colors quickly skip The one did dub a dub and rumble braue The Ensigne in the aire did play and waue I launc'd supposing all things had bin done Bownce from the â—lock-house quoth a roaring Gun And wauing Hats on both sides with content I cri'd Adiew adiew and thence we went Vp Hâ—mbers â—â—ood that then amaine did swell Windes calme and water quiet as a Well We Row'd to Owse with all our force and might To Cawood where we well were lodg'd all night The morrow when as Phoebus 'gan to smile I forwards set to Yorke eight little mile But two miles short of Yorke I landed than To see that reuerend * At Bishops thorpe where the right reuerend Father in God Toby Mathew Archbishop of Yorke his Grace did make me welcome Metropolitan That watchful Shepheard that with care doth keep Th' infernall Wolfe from Heau'ns supernall Sheepe The painefull Preacher that most free Almes-giuer That though he liue long is too short a liuer That man whose age the poore doe all lament All knowing when his Pilgrimage is spent When Earth to Earth returnes as Natures debter They feare the Prouerbe Sâ—ldome comes the better His Doctrine and example speake his due And what all people sayes must needs be true In duty I most humbly thanke his Grace He at his Table made me haue a place And meat and drinke and gold he gaue me there Whilstâ—l my Crue i' th Hal were fill'd with cheare So hauing din'd from thence we quickly past Through Owse strong Bridge to York faire City â—â—â—â— Our drowning scap'd more danger was ensuing 'T was Size time there and hanging was a brewiâ—â— But had our faults beene ne'r so Capitall We at the Vintners Barre durst answer all Then to the good Lord Maior I went and told What labour and what dangers manifold My fellow and my selfe had past at Seas And if it might his noble Lordship please The Boat that did from London thither swim With vs in duty we would giue to him His Lordship pawsing with a reuerend hum My friend quoth he to morrow morning come In the meane space I 'l of the matter thinke And so he bade me to goe nee'r and drinke I dranke a Cup of Claret and some Beere And sure for ought I know he a There is some â—ddâ—â— betweene keeping and spendâ—â—â— keeps good cheâ—â—â— I gaue his Lordship in red guilded leather A well bound booke of all my Workes together Which he did take b Heere I make a full point for I receiued not a point in â—â—â— change There in the City were some men of note That glâ—dly would giue money for our Boat But all this while good manners bade vs stay To haue my good Lord Maiors yea or nay But after long demurring of the matter c I thought it my duty being we had come a dâ—â—â—rous voyage to offer out Boat to the chiefe Magistrate fâ—â— why should not my Boat be as good a monument as Tâ—â— Câ—â—â— euerlasting ouertrampling land-conquering Shooes thought He well was pleas'd to see her on the water And then my men Row'd halfe an houre or more Whilst he stood viewing her vpon the shore They bore his Lordships Children in her there And many others as she well could beare At which his Honour was exceeding merry Saying it was a pretty nimble Wherry But when my men had taken all this paines Into their eyes they might haue put their gaines Vnto his shop he did d And forgat to say I thanke you good fellowes perambulate And there amongst his Barres of Iron sate I ask'd him if he would our Boat forgoe Or haue her And his Lordship answer'd No. I tooke him at his word and said God buy And gladly with my Boat away went I. I sold the Boat as I suppos'd most meet To honest e â—â—â—â—â—tiall worthy Citizen who hath beene Shrieue of York and â—â—â— keepes the George in Cunny street M r. Kayes in Cunny street He entertain'd me well for which I thanke him And gratefully amongst my friends I 'l ranke him My kind remembrance here I put in paper To worthy M r. Hemsworth there a Draper Amongst the
perhaps you shall haue an Irish footman with a â—acket eudgeld down the shoulders and skirs with yellow or orenge tâ—wny Lace may â—â—â—t from London 3. or 4. score miles to one of there decayed Mansions when the simâ—ring scornfull Passe the supposed â—â—â— of the house with a mischiefe who is indeed a kinde of creature retired for a while into the Countrey to escape the whip in the City â—hee demands out of the window scarce ready and dressing herselfe in a glasse at noone Fellow what is thine Errand hast thou letters to me And if it be about dinner a man may sooner blow vp the gates of Bergen â—p Zome with a Charme then get entrance within the bounds of their Barr'd Bolted and Barracadoed Wicket About two of Clocke it may bee walking an house or twaine Sir Sellaâ—â— comes downe vntrust with a Pipe of Tobacco in his fist to know your businesse hauing first peeped thorow a broken pane of Glasse to see whether you come to demand any money or old debt or not when after a few hollow dry complements without drinke he turnes you out at the gate his worshippe returning to his Stoue What Townes are laide waste what fields lye vntilled what goodly houses are turn'd to the habitations of Howlets Daives and Hobgâ—â— what numbers of poore are increased yea examine this last yeere but the Register books or buriaâ—â— of our gred â—est Townes and Pariâ—â—â— of the land as Winondham in Norfolke Wâ—â— Chappell neere Evâ—don and many other and see how many haue beene buried weekely that haue meerely perished for want of breaâ— whâ—â—â— Pride and Luxury dam vp our streetesâ— Barracado our high waies and are ready euen to driue ouer their Graues whom their vnmercifull Pride hath famiâ—hed Whence come Leather to be so deare but by reason or as I should say against reason â—â—â— the multitude of Coaches and Corâ—oâ—â—â— who consume and take vp the best Hides â—â—â— can be gotten in our Kingdome â—â—â— that I cannot buy a paire of Boots for my â—â—â— vnder an Angell nor my Wife a paâ—â—â— of Shooes though her foote be vnder the â—â—â— vnder eight roates of three â—â—â— by which meanes many honest shooâ—â—â— are either vndone or vndoing and â—â—â— numbers of poore Christians are enforced â—â— got â—are footed in the cold Winters till â—â—â— very beâ—â—mmeâ—nesse some their toâ—â— â—â—â—â—â—â— their feeâ—â—â—â—â—â— rotted off to the â—â—â— lesse increases of crooked Cripples â—â—â— woodden â—â—â— beggers of which sort of â—â—â—â—â—â— wretches euery streâ—â—â—â— pleâ—â—ifully stored with to the scorne of other â—â—â—ions and the shame and obloquy of our â—â—ne The Saddlers being an ancient a worthy and a vsefull Company they haue almost ouerthrowne the whole Trade to the vndoing of â—â—ny honest families For whereas within our memories our Nobility and Gentry would â—ideâ— well mounted and sometimes walke on â—â—â— gallantly attended with three or foureâ—â—ore braue fellowes in blue coates which was a glory to our Nation and gaue more â—â—â—â— to the beholders then forty of your Leather tumbrels Then men preseru'd their bodies strong and able by walking riding and other manly exercises Then Saddleâ—s were a good Trade and the name of a Coach was Heathen Greek Who euer saw but vpon â—â—traordinary occasions Sir Philip Sidney Sir â—â—â—is Drake Sir Iohn Norris Sir William â—â—â— Sir Roger Williams or whom I should â—â—â—e nam'd first the famous Lord Gray and â—â—â—â—â—â—ghby with the renowned George Earle of Camberland or Robert Earle of Essex These soâ—â—es of Mars who in their times were the glorious Brooches of our Nation and admirable terrour to our Enemies these I say did â—â—â—e small vses of Coaches and there were â—â—o mayne reasons for it the one was that there were but few Coaches in most of their â—â—nesâ— and the second reason is they were â—â—lly foes to all sloth and effeminacy The â—â—â— was Sir Francis Vere with thousands others but what should I talke further This is the tarrling rowling rumbling age and The VVorld runs on VVheeles The hackney-men who were wont to haue furnished Trauellers â—â— all places with fitting and seruiceable horses for any iourney by the multitude of Coaâ—â—â—â—â—â— vndone by the dozens and the whole Common-wealth most abominably iaded â—â—in many places a man had as good to ride vpon a woodden post as to poast it vpoÌ„ one of â—â—â— hunger-staru'd hirelings which enormiâ—â—â— can be imputed to nothing but the Coaâ—â—â—â—â—â—â—â—sion is the Hackneymans confusion Nor haue we poore Water-men the least â—â—â— to complaine against this infernall swarm of Trade-spillers who like the Grashoppers or Caterpiller 's of Egypt haue so ouerrun the land that we can get no liuing vpon the water for I dare truely affirme that euery day in any Tearme especially if the Court be at VVhitchall they do rob vs of our liuings and carry Fiue hundred sixty fares daily from vs which numbers of passengers were wont to supply our necessities and enable vs sufficiently with meanes to doe our Prince and Countrey seruice and all the whole fry of our famous whores whose ancient Lodgings were neere S. Katherines the Bankeside Laâ—nbethMarsh Westminster VVhite Fryers Coleharbor or any other place neer the Thames who were wont after they had any good Trading or reasonable commings in to take a Boate and aire themselues vpon the water yea and by your leaue be very liberall too I say as a Mercer said once A whores mony is as good as a Ladies and a bawdes as currant as a Midwiues Tush those times are past and our Hackney Coaches haue hurried al our hackney customers quite out of our â—each toward the North parts of the City where they are daily practised in the Coach that by often iolting they may the better endure the Cart vpon any occasion and indeed many times a hired Coachman with a basket-hilted blade hang'd or executed about his shoulders in a belt with a cloake of some pide colour with two or three change of Laces about may manne a brace or a Leash of these curuetting Cockatrices to their places of recreation and so saue them the charge of maintaining as Sir Pandarus or an Apple-squire which seruice indeed to speake the truth a Waterman is altogether vnfit for the worst is most of them are such Loggerheads that they either will not learne but as I thinke would scorne to bee taught so that if the Sculler had not been paid when he was paid it is to be doubted that he should neuer haue bâ—â—paidâ— for the coachman hath gotteÌ„ all the custom from the Scullers paymistris This is one apparant reason why all the whores haue forsaken vs and spend their cash so free frequent vpon those ingenious well-practiz'd seruiceable hired coachmen but a Pox take em all whither doe my wits run after whores and knaues I pray you but note the streetes and the chambers or lodgings in Fleetstreet or the Strand how they are pestered with them especially after a Mask or a Play at the Court where
this reading thou mayest be allur'd To turne thy tide of life another way And to amendment all thy thoughts incline And to thy rebell will no more obey But seeke by vertuouâ— actions to combine Fame to thy Friends and terror to thy foe And say 't was friendly counsell told thee so Satyre THis childish Anticke doating pie-bald world Through which y e Diuel all black sins hath hurld Hath beene so long by wickednesse prest downe From y e â—reeze Plow swaine to th' Imperiall crown We haue so long in vice accustom'd beene That nothing that is wicked lookes like sin The glistring Courtier in his gaudie tire Scornes with his heeles to know his russet Sire The petrifogging Lawyer crammes vp Crownes From hobnaild Boores sheep skin country clown The gaping greedie gâ—â—iping Vsurerâ— The Sonne of Hell and Sathans treasurer The base exâ—orting black sould bribing Broaker The Bane of Mankind and his Countries choaker The helhound whelpes the shoulder-clapping Seriant That cares not to vndoe the world for Argent The Post knight that will sweare away his soule Though for the same the Law his eares doe powle The smoakie black-lung pâ—fâ— Tobaccount Whose ioy doth in Tobacco sole consid The cholericke Gâ—â—l that 's â—angled with a Drab And in her quarrell will his Father stab The baudie drie boand â—â—cherous Baboone Would â—aine repent â—â—â—â—â—â— it is too soone The riming â—â—â—â—â—â— would be a Poet But that the â—â—â—â—â—â— not wit to shew it The wrinckled â—â—â— and dim'd vâ—â—â—melian whore That buyes and sels the poxe to â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â— slore The greasie eauesdropping doâ—â—â—â—â—â— Pander That with a Punke to any man will wander The conveatching shister steales most briefe And when hee 's hang'd heel câ—ase to be a thiefe The drousie Drunkard will â—â—â— and â—â—â— Till like a hog he tumble in his drâ—â—stâ— Besides there 's diuers other Hell boâ—ne sinnes As some great men are wraâ—t in Mâ—sers skinâ—es For feare of whose dislike I â—â—â— old me still And not bumbast them with my Ganders quill Consider with thy selfe Good Reader then That here thou hu'st amongst those wicked men Who on this earthly stage together keepe Like Muggots in a Putrified sheepe Whose damned dealingâ— blacke confusion brings By the iust iudgement of the King O. Kings Pastorall Equiuokes or a Shepheards complaint I That haue trac'd the mountaines vp and downe And pip't and chanted Songs and pleasant layes The whil'st my flocks haue frisk't it on the downe Now blinded Loue my sportiue pleasure layes I that on greenie grasse could lay me downe And sleepe as soundly as on beds of downe I then was free from loues all wounding blow My Ewes and Lambs then merrily could fold I car'd not then which way the wind did blow Nor had I cause with griefe my armes to infold I fear'd not Winters frost nor Summers Sunne And then was I a happy mothers sonne I then could haunt the Market and the Fayre And in a trolicke humour leape and spring Till she whose beautie did surpasse all fayre Did with her frosty necenesse nip my Spring Then I alas alas vnhappy I Was made a captiue to her scornefull eye When loues fell shaft within my breast did light Then did my Cock horse pleasure all alight Lou's fierie flames Eclipsed all my light And she vnkinde weyd all my woes too light Oh then my merry dayes away did hie VVhen I so low did dore on one so hie Her beautie which did make Loues Queene a Crow Whose whiâ—e did shame the Lilly red the Rose When Phâ—bus messenger the Cocke did crow Each morne when from his Antipods he rose Despight of gates and barres and bolts and locks Hee 'd kisse her face and guild her golden locks Which makes my rest like those that restlesse be Like one that 's hard pursu'd and cannot flye Or like the busie buzzing humming Bee Or like the fruitlesse nought respected Flye That cuts the subtill ayre so swift and fast Till in the Spiders wâ—b hee 's tangled fast As blustring Borcas rends the loftie Pine So her vnkindnesse rends and reaues my heart I weepe I waile I sigh I groane I pine I inward bleed as doth the wounded Hart. She that alone should onely wish me well Hath drown'd my ioyes in Sorrowes ioylesse well The ruthlesse Tyger and the Sauage Beare All Beasts and Birds of prey that haunt the Wood In my laments doe seeme some part to beare But onely she whose feature makes me wood As barbing Autumne robs the trees of leaues Her storme like soorne me void of comfort leaues No castle Fort no Rampier or strong Hold But loue will enter without law or leaue Fot where affections force hath taken hold There lawlesse loue will such impression leaue That Gods nor men nor fire eath water winde From loues strait lawes can neither turne nor winde Then since my haplesse haps falls out so hard Since all the fates on me their anger powre Since my laments and moanes cannot be heard And she on me shews her commanding power What then remaines but I dissolue in teares Since her disdaines my heart in pieces teares Dye then sad heart in sorrowes prison pend Dye face that 's colour'd with a deadly dye Dye hand that in her praise hath Poems pend Heart Face and hand haplesse and helpelesse dye Thou Serieant Death that rests and tak'st no bale 'T is onely thou must ease my bitter bale This said he sigh'd and sell into a sound That all the Hils and Groues neighbouring Plains The Ecchoes of his groanings seem'd to sound With repercursion of his dying plaines And where in life he scorned councell graue Now in his death he rests him in his graue Epitaph HEere lies ingrau'd whose life fell death did sackâ— Who to his graue was brought vpon a Beere For whom let all men euer mourne in Sacke Or else remember him in Ale or Beere He who in life Loues blinded God did lead Now in his death lyes heere as cold as lead Sonnet In trust lyes Treason THe fowlest friends assume the fairest formes The fairest Fields doth feed the soulest road The Sea at calm'st most subiect is to stormes In choyfest fruit the cauker makes aboad So in the shape of all belieuing trust Lyes toad-inucnom'd-â—reason coached close Till like a storme his trothlesse thoughts out burst Who canker-like had laine in trusts repose For as the Fire within the Flint confinde In deepest Ocean still vnquencht remaines Euen so the false through truâ—st seeming minde Despight of truth the treason still retaines Yet maugre treason trust deserueth trust And trust suruiues when treason dyes accurst Death with the foure Elements Two infant-twinnes a Sister and a Brother When out of dores was gone their carefull Sire And left his babes in the keeping with their Mother Who merrily sate singing by the fire Who hauing fill'd a tub with water warme She bath'd her girle O ruthlesse tayle to tell The whilst she thought the other safe from harme Vnluckily into the fire