in this manner all Politicians work backwards that so they may not make discovery of their intentions by their actings for they would by no means be traced by their footsteps for though their eyes point one way the path they walk leads to another they publish not what they intend and in saying Yes they mean No so that they act always by Contraries and their Ciphers are most legible when they are read backwards one had need of another Hercules who with force and a Sledge of Iron might level and make plain these paths and cut in sunder their intrigues and knots of deceit Andrenio observed that the chiefest part of those that spake whispered their words not into the ears but into mouth of the Hearers who were not displeased with the gross absurdity but with the like undecency kindly received and gaping with an open mouth and forming their lips into ears ravenously sucked in the distillation of their words Was there ever such Absurdities said he words were made for the ears not for the mouth but these people eat them and drink them suck them in like sugred Comfets 't is true that they proceed from the lips but they die in the ears and their tomb and grave is formed in the Heart but these seem to lick and chew them in their mouths and with this aerious nourishment sustain their vanity it is a sign said Critilo they carry but little truth in them since their taste is sweet and have no relish of bitterness in the Stomach Do you not know said Quiron that the chiefest art is to speak those words which are savory to the Palate Flattery Observe Andrenio how yonder Lord sucks in the syrrop of Flattery see what draughts he makes of the sweet Liquor of adulation believe me though he seems attentively to hearken yet his ears receive not the sound for the words vanish into air Consider yonder Prince how he gluts himself with Lies though never so incredible 't is a most strange thing to consider that this Man never disbelieved a Lye though he heard never so many and yet never believed Truths though few were told him and those seldom What do ye think of t'other vain Fool what do you think he is filled with it is nothing of substance but air and vanity This must be the cause considered Critilo that those whom Truths most neerly concern can yet seldom hear them for they are bitter and give a bad relish to the Palate so that either as unpleasing they refuse them or else endeavouring to swallow them the squeamish tenderness of their Stomachs is not able to digest them But that which scandalized them most was the sight of some vile and sorvile Slaves to themselves dragging their own Bolts and Chains wherewith their Arms were mannacled that they might not be able to extend them in acts of Liberality or in the pious works of Honour and Virtue their necks wore a slavish Collar the note and sign of their voluntary Servitude their feet chained and mannacled suffered them not to make one step in the way of Fame or of a good Reputation and thus laden with Irons and lockt in their Bolts and in a condition more of shame than glory yet with an impudent boldness stood Inthroned and applauded commanding Men of better Bloud and Nobility enslaving the free-born state and condition of those who willingly submitted to their rod and bowed their shoulders to receive the weight of their vile Burden At this sight Andrenio as being not able to hold longer cryed out who will dare to approach near these and contest with the abuse of Fortune How I could kick down these misemployed Seats and change the condition of the others into what their own Vertue and Merits have deserved Do not speak so loud said Quiron for you undo us Slaves Command It is no matter if this be permitted though all run to ruine and destruction Do you not see that these are the powerful Rulers those who c. are these If these Slaves of their own Appetites Servants to Delight these Tiberius's Nero's Caligala's Heltogabulus's and Sardanapalus's are such as are idolized and adored and the true Commanders and Lords of themselves free and in subjection to none are Slaves and Vassals of Servitude Why then let the sound Health and incorrupted Body be stretched and laid out for its Grave and the sick and dead Corps walk the Streets let the fresh and lively colour faint and droop let those whose sick and ill Consciences have made their looks pale recover courage and strength let the sound Entrails be unsufficient to maintain life and the corrupted Lungs breath the strongest blast let those whose weak Stomachs the smell of Nourishment offends grow fat and let the Dropsical and the Lame be supported with sound Feet and active Hands For thus said Andrenio all things walk contrary in this World the Good creep and crawl humbly on the Earth and the base vileness of the bad is exalted But that which was pleasing and new caused much laughter was to see a Blind man with eyes more dim and dark than his own Vileness more thick and misty than an April Cloud with as much presumption as blindness undertook to conduct and guide those of more quick eyes and sight than himself leading the Van whilst they silently followed without any doubt or fear of the way This is a brave daring Blindness The Blind Guide said Andrenio But dishonest and base said Critilo that the Blind should lead the Blind though there be folly enough in the thing yet it hath been seen and known with the fall of both into the same Pit of Ruine and Destruction but that the Blind should guide those that see is an unheard of folly and a preposterous madness I said Critilo do not wonder that the Blind should pretend to direct others that See because he may believe that all are as blind as himself but that those who see and observe the danger before their eyes into which their blind guides would precipitate them should accept of their service and tumble with them and yet go forward till they fall into the same deep Pit and Abyss of Infelicities is a most incredible Folly and a monstrosity of madness Know said Quiron that though this be a most transcendent piece of rashness yet it is a folly that each day represents us with and more often is it acted in our preposterous times than formerly for those who know least pretend as great Doctors to instruct others the Intemperate and Luxurious undertake to read Lectures of Sobriety and to sit in the Chair to expound and comment on Lessons of Morality Our own experience can testifie how one blind with Affections of a Woman as ill favoured as infamous hath seduced infinite to follow him and thrown them down the Precipice of eternal Misery This is not the eighth Miracle but the eighth Prodigy For the first step of Ignorance is a Presumption
for me to be nothing that I might disclaim that Being which is confined with Eternity In this manner he beat the Air with Sighs whilst his Arms rowed the Waters accompanying his Art with Industry he seemed to rise above the reach of danger for Perils do both fear and respect great Persons whom Death it self is sometimes ambitious to spare and Fortune seeks occasions to advantage Thus the Serpents spared Alcides the Tempests Caesar the Sword Great Alexander and Bullets had no Commission for Charles the Fifth But alas how Misfortunes are enwreathed one is but the Introduction or but the Parent to another for when he thought to reach the secure Bosom of our Common Mothers he then began to apprehend new fears lest the enraged Waves should dash him against the Rocks which were as hard as his Fortune was cruel the Earth too catched at by his hands crumbled between them and tantalized his hopes when his Life seemed almost secured there being neither Water in the Seas nor Earth on the Land to assist the Miserable Thus floated he between both Elements in the Medium between Life and Death made a Sacrifice of his own Fortune when a sprightly Youth an Angel in his Appearance but much more in his Actions stretched forth his Arms to enclose him attracting him as the secret Virtue of the Loadstone doth the Iron and securing his Happiness together with his Life And being now in Safety on the Shoar he first kissed the Earth and casting his Eyes up to Heaven he gave thanks for his Deliverance and then returning to the Restorer of his Life with open Arms endeavoured to gratifie him with Embraces and Acknowledgments but he that had thus obliged him by Deeds could not answer him with Words but only gave demonstrations of the grand satisfaction he received at this accident and of an astonished admiration to see one so like himself The grateful Naufrague repeated the expressions of his thanks and seconded his embraces asking him of his Health and Fortune to all which the astonished Islander was silent wherefore he varied his Idioms and tryed him with some other Languages with which he was acquainted but in vain since he was a person void of Speech so that turning all into Signs and Actions he ceased not to behold and admire him mixing the extremes of Wonder with Contentment One might reasonably have believed him to have been some incult product of those Woods but that this Island being uninhabited by Mankind could not be the native Soil of Humane Race besides the fairness and length of his Hair and the equal proportion of his Mouth was an argument that he was an European the fashion of his Cloaths or Garments could yield no light to any Conjectures being no other than Nakedness the Livery of Innocence The Intelligent Naufrague reasoned with himself whether he was destitute of those two Servants of the Soul Hearing and Speech but his experience soon revolved him in that for he listned to the least noise and by his ready attention could so aptly imitate the Voices of Beasts and Chirping of Birds with such natural Propriety that he seemed better to understand Brutes than Men so prevalent is the force of Custom and Education From these sensitive Actions the vivacity of his Spirit darted forth certain Rays as through the twilight of Reason the Soul labouring to show that where Education is wanting Nature of it self is wholly rude and unpolished The desire of knowing each others Fortunes and Lives encreased equally in both but the want of a common Idiom was that which envied them this enjoyment for Speech is the grand effect of Rationality and he that cannot Discourse cannot Converse Speak Speech saith the Philosopher that I may know you for the Soul doth in a noble manner communicate it self by producing the Images of what it conceives in the Mind of him that hears which is Properly to Converse there is no presence where there is not Discourse nor can they be termed Absent who communicate by Writing Those Wise Sages live still though dead and discourse with us daily by their Immortal Volumes and Illuminate Posterity with a continued source and spring of Knowledge Speech is both necessary and pleasant which two wise Nature always conjoined in the Functions of Life Conversation is ever attended with Pleasure Conversation and thence is immediately derived the important Affair of Knowing which Speech only can administer Wise men by Speaking beget others like themselves and by Converse Knowledge is gently instilled into the Soul Hence it is that Men cannot live happily without some common Language both in respect of their Necessity and of their Pleasure For should two Infants be cast purposely into an Island they would invent a Language to Communicate and Converse with each other so that noble Conversation is the Daughter of Discourse the Mother of Wisdom the Ease of the Soul the Commerce of Hearts the Bond of Amity the Food of Contentment and the Employment of Humanity The experienced Naufrague being well assured of the truth hereof began immediately to teach this ignorant Youth to exercise Speech who being both desirous and docible was very apt to improve the flexibility of his Tongue He began by the Names of them both calling himself Critilo and the other Andrenio which fitted the ripe Judgment of the one and of the other in his natural Principles The desire of bringing those Conceptions unto light which had so long inwardly been suppressed and the curiosity of knowing the truth of what lay clouded and confused in his Understanding were strong Incitements to the docility of Andrenio so that now he began to Pronounce then to Ask then to Answer and endeavouring at length to Discourse accompanied his Words with Action that sometimes where his Words began his Gestures supplyed the want of other Expressions in the Conclusion The Account he gave of his Life was in short and abrupt Speeches so much the more strange by how much the less understood and oftentimes where the improbability of the matter could not gain Belief with Critilo there he pretended to want a true Conception of what he related but when he had learned to continue his Discourse and the number of his Words were equal to the greatness of his Thoughts at the earnest desires of Critilo who afforded him also somewhat of his assistance began to satisfie him in this manner I saith he neither know who I am nor who hath given me this Being nor to what End he hath given it me which Question I often without Words proposed to my self being as Ignorant Natural Conceptions of a Being as Curious but since Queries are caused by Ignorance I had little means to resolve my self yet so would I prove my self with argument that I might if possible exceed my self for as yet no affectation to any particular Good had so possessed me but that withdrawing my Soul out of Ignorance I might reach the limits of my
deliberately and soberly is most commonly best heard and understood Indeed so it is said another which he whistled out with an effeminate Voice like a French Man but he was not so but one affected and foolishly nice To meet him went forth another who spake as if he had a Plum in his Mouth that all supposed him a German but he answered he was not but one who to speak fine and elegantly did not regard whether his matter were to the purpose or not Another spake through the Teeth with such a lisping pronunciation that all believed him an Andaluzian but others who could better distinguish Languages judged him of a malevolent Tongue who Serpent-like hist out his Malice Another in a bustle disturbed all and with an unquiet spirit without knowing the reason why endeavoured to discompose the whole World having no other excuse but that it was his natural infirmity so that he was supposed to be an Islander of Majorca but he was not of that Country but a barbarous hot-brain'd Furioso another spake and none understood him that they took him to be a Biscayner but was not such but one who was always making Petitions and Requests another spake not at all but endeavoured to be understood by signs whom all derided and scorned This certainly is one said Critilo who desires to speak the truth but either cannot or dare not others spake hoarse and low these said he must certainly be Parliament-men but they were not so but Men who were Counsellors to none but themselves others snuffed words in their nose which some understood and stammering answered them in the same Dialect but neither appositely nor to the purpose and some biting their tongues spake inwardly and answered them as if the questions propounded to them were troublesome some pronounced words hollow as from an inward sound and cavity in their Breasts which was both as unpleasing to the Auditors as troublesome to themselves And so it was that none remained with his own Voice either good or true no man spake clear equal or without artifice So all lost the natural accent of their Tongues but feigned deceived lied blasphemed and injured whence it seems that the French especially as good fellows in this meeting drinking in the freest plenty to pledge the Italians neither speak as they write nor perform as they say that a man had need of good ears and good learning to understand their Words and Letters but to apprehend them rightly you may interpret all to a contrary sence But the most pestilential effect of this Liquor was shown in those that drank it that like a Vomit it moved the Stomach as soon as taken in to spue it forth again with all the true substance and sound nourishment they had before leaving room for wind and air for lies and deceits with which they swell'd as with a Tympany Their Hearts turned to cork void both of Valour and Courtesie their Entrails were metamorphosed into Stone their Brains to Cotton dry and without Judgment their Bloud hydropical and watrish without colour or heat their Breasts which should be of Steel were turned into Wax their nerves grew flaccid Men of this Age. as if the spring of their motion were composed of Wool their feet as clogged with Lead moved with a slow pace toward good but like a Mercury winged to pursue the flight of evil their hands turned to pitch which grasped and retained all they touched their tongues blurrers of fame their eyes paper in fine here was the original of the Worlds Metamorphosis the cheat of vanity and the best Master-piece of the Worlds deceiver The operation it had on poor Andrenio was that the strength of one drop he but supped in did so intoxicate his Brain that ever after he grew giddy and reeled in the way of Vertue What do you think now said Critilo of this constant spring and stream of Fraud of this tottering Mansion of the Worlds falsities If you had drank with the same liberty that others have done how had your Joints been dissolved with its strength how had your Reason abated and your feet tript at every rubb Can you possibly esteem so little an eye clear of bloud or beams a tongue clean and true a Man of verity and substance such as a Duke of Ossuna or a Prince of Conde believe me he that is so Duke of Ossuna Prince of Conde is as strange and unusual as a Phaenix Would one think said Andrenio there should be so much evil in so smooth a water The more dangerous is it replied Critilo for those smiles and gentleness are symptoms of its danger how is this Fountain called demanded Andrenio which he asked of one and the other but none could inform him At last Proteus answered him that it had no name for in being unknown consisted the efficacy and success of its operation Why then said Critilo it may be called the Fountain of Deceits of which who once drinks is by the Vertue and strength thereof metamorphos'd into another shape Critilo was now desirous to turn back but Andrenio could not nor would consent and Proteus pressing them forward would needs perswade them that it was better to be a Fool for company A Fool for Company then singular and wise alone Thus he led them astray rather then guided them in by and cross ways through delightful Fields and Meadows where Youth stood sporting in the pleasant Greens under the fresh shades of leafy Boughs but the Trees wanting heart and sap were barren and unfruitful By this time being come in view of the City they observed it to be covered with a Cloud of smoak a certain sign that it was inhabited by Mankind The Prospect was composed of a pleasing variety and seemed best at the farthest distance such was the general concourse of all Provinces to this common place of resort that the Road was crowded with Travellers which raised such a cloud of dust that nothing in the way thither could be seen or observed but in their nearer approach they easily perceived that that which at a farther distance appeared beauteous and comely was within a confused mass and heap no Street direct or strait but like a Labyrinth or Den of Minotaures Andrenio was about rashly to enter in but Critilo pulling him by the Sleeve said Hold open first your eyes those inward Faculties I say of the Soul Whereupon he bended down to the Earth and looking narrowly he espied traps and slips covered in the dust made with Golden threads and fair hair to catch and ensnare silly and unwary Innocents Observe well said he where and how you enter let not your feet tread without an assay first and certainty of a secure and firm foundation do not move one foot from my side unless you will wilfully precipitate your self to an evident destruction believe nothing though urged with Oaths and Protestations grant nothing though petitioned with the most submissive humility Rules to Live do
is no Book without something good and commendable he therefore premiseth as a capital Precept and fundamental point of his ceremonious Office that a Gallant of his making should endeavour above all to shine with the Endowments of Fortune and upon the Basis of Gold to erect a Scheme of Courtesie Discretion Gallantry and other Parts which commend an accomplished Gentleman for if his Fortunes be small his Treasury of Knowledge will be esteemed but Poor nor shall he have the reputation of Wise Discreet Courteous as if his inward Perfections were to be set off with an outward foil this is my opinion of Galateus If this doth not content you said the Bookseller because he treats of material Ceremonies his Doctrine being only of outward carriage Here is then and it may be better to your liking the judicious and grave Instruction of Iuan de Vega which he gave his Son when he sent him to the Court This sublime Doctrine is not delivered with the affected gravity of a Portagues but is as much as the Count of Portalegre could say when he sent his Son upon the like occasion The Count of Portalegre This Work replied the Courtier is too sublime and high for me and fit for those only who move in the supream Sphere of the Commonwealth for he is not to be esteemed a judicious Workman who shall think to fit a Dwarf with the Shooe of a Giant believe me there is no other Book which Art could form more for the purpose or accommodated to the humours of Madrid I know that my Heterodox and perhaps Stoical Tenents may have caused Men to censure me as Cynical yet I shall sooner prefer Truth then flatter others in their own sense and fancies Let me tell you the Book that you should seek and read is Homer's Vlysses But hold and let me declare my self lest there be a mistake Do you think the dangerous Golf he writes of is in Sicily and that the Syrens inhabit on those Sands with their Faces like Women and their Tails like Fish or that the Cirze performs her Enchantments in her Isle and the proud Cyclops in his Cave Know that the dangerous Sea is the Court environed with the Cylla of Deceit and Caribdis of Falsity those Women you see pass yonder so wantonly Modest and so desolutely composed are the true Syrens and false Women whose end is monstrous and the remembrance of them displeasing It was not sufficient that cautious Vlysses stopt his Ears unless he had bound himself to the Main-mast of Vertue and flying from these Enchantments steered his Ship to the Haven of Security There are Cirzes who with the force of Magick Charms have bewitched men in that manner that they have transformed them into Brutes What shall I say of so many Cyclopses as foolish as arrogant who having bnt one eye have yet fixed that on the Objects of their own appetite and presumption This very Book you turn over shall as I say direct your steps and teach you like Vlysses to escape this Rock and as I hope divert you from those monstrous encounters which threaten your destruction Upon this recommendation they took his counsel and passed forward much guided by what the Courtier had advised and Vlysses taught They met with no Friend nor Kinsman no Acquaintance because they were poor and in a mean condition Nor could Critilo discover his desired Felistuda and so finding themselves destitute of all relief and despised because in want Critilo determined to make use of the vertue of some Oriental Stones which the favour of the Seas had reserved to him in his Shipwrack but especially to make experience how well the solidity of his Diamond could conquer difficulties and whether the rich Emerod as Philosophers write had the virtue to reconcile Wills and gain Affections With that he brought them to light which at the same time worked such miraculous effects that he soon obtained the good will and wishes of all those of the best Blood of Spain the most gallant discreet and understanding were ambitious of his acquaintance So great was the Fame of this Diamond that it betrayed them into the Covetous hands of some Soldiers but were freed from them by a multitude of Friends who courted their Friendship and desired to be of their Kindred they gained more Cosins then a King and Nephews then a Pope all which the Fame of this Diamond had created But the most pleasant accident was that which happened to Andrenio for in passing through the great Street to the Palace came a Page to him gaudy in his Livery and free in his Garb drew out a fold of a Letter which he kept close up giving him only leave to look on the Firm which was subscribed a Cosin and Servant of yours in it she congratulated his safe arrival at the Court much complaining that he who was of so near Blood to her was yet so much a Stranger and unknown with all desiring him not to fail to come and see her for that Page was there to direct him the way and show him her lodging Andrenio was much surprized to hear the name of Cozen who believed he had no Mother but being more excited with curiosity to try the event then with hopes of unknown embraces together with the Page went directly to the house But what strange successes befel him there is related in the following Crisis The Twelfth CRISIS The Charms of False Syrens THough Solomon was the wisest of Men yet he was the most deceived by Women and having been the most amorous person in the World he was best able to give a Character and a report of their Nature which was this That an Evil Woman is a great Evil to Man and his worst Enemy she is more strong then Wine more powerful then a King and being all Falsity is not afraid to bid open defiance unto Truth Less dangerous to us are the Rancours and Malice of an Enemy then the Embraces and Caresses of a false Woman said he who spake the wisest for less hurtful is it to be pursued by the threatning Dart of a Man then to have a Woman follow our steps with pretensions of Love She is not one Enemy alone but many complicated in one and in her hath Malevolence placed its Ammunition and Artillery against us she is composed of Flesh to discompose carnal Man the World cloaths her and that she may conquer Man makes a World of her and the Devil over those Garments which the World gave her casts a Cloak of deceitful Embraces She is a Gerion of Enemies the triple Cord and Snare of our Liberty which is hardly broken Hence doubtless it is that all the evils of the World have Attributes of the Feminine Gender as the Furies Destinies Sirens Harpies for all those Evils may be united in the wickedness of one bad Woman Different Passions have their several times and seasons of age in which their strength is most vigorous to encouter Man