been very hurtful 6. That the Lord did move the hearts of the Brethren to come so willingly and express so much affection to me 7. That God moved my heart and strengthned me to come home that night which proved advantagious 8. That when the disease was at the highest and sorest the Lord was pleased in that state to keep the eye of my mind directly upon himself 9. That when I was much troubled about my Will and was afraid the Lord would have taken me away before I had finished it God heard my weak sensless crying unto him and gave me much satisfaction when it was done The Lord did not let loose any of my spiritual enemies sin or Satan upon me The Lord supported me with his former fatherly dealings and the succors comforts and experiences he had afforded in the like afflictions The Lord kept my spirit indifferent and unbyassed towards life or death not desiring the one more then the other but willing that God should choose for me The Lord shewed me things neerer thâ—n I saw them beâ—ore and smaller things as duties sins c. seemed greater to me then they had done I was helped by the Lord to beaâ— the affliction with that patience that I was so far from thinking it too heavy that I wondred it was so light I found a quicker discerning and a better taste to try words then before and to know who spoke and what was spoken discreetly seasonably and effectually That I had more sence of other sick and suffering Saints then I had before especially the poor and the rather because I considered how they wanted the accommodations I had As I had no extraordinary discoveries of the Lord so I had several small and mediate expressions of his tenderness and kindness I had clearer knowledge and greater conviction of some sins particularly 1. Self which I found to cleave to me ever to the end 2. Of Frowardness which I saw to be an abhoring to the Lord and it troubled me much to hear it in my Family 3. Wordliness especially in having to do with worldly men 4. Slothfulness in private duties 5. Want of more care to refâ—rm my Family 6. Using too many words about earthly things with my Wife 7. Using too much fleshly wisdom in my preaching and too much time wiâ—h too many words in my Sermons and too many complements to Saints offering Sacrifice or doing service unto the Lord when God would have me be receiving mercy from him this God shewed me once when being weak I went to perform duly I had comfort from the Lord. 1. From several Scriptures as Rom. 14 8. Philip. 1.21 Iob 33.26 Psal 71.3 Esaiah 1.25 Ezek. 21.44 Prov. 1â— the last verse Iohn 16.14 Ioh. 17. Prov. 7. to 21. 2. Gracious Answers of Prayer and feeding upon promises 3. From the Visits and Prayers of the Saints 4. That when I vvas to dispose of the estate the Loâ—d had given me I did find I vvas more thoughtful hovv to do it to Gods gloâ—y then I vvas to get it Some few of the Hymns found within his Papers A Hymn on the Sabboth day THe rest of rests to me is Christ in whom I do rejoyce His day a Sabboth is to me T is not mine but his choice He rose and rested on that day to shew his work was done His blest example is my Rule his Candle is my Sun This is the Queen of dayes to me For t is my Kings birth day He was begotten from the dead that I might live for aye Not live in lust to do my will but live to please my Lo d To preach his word and sit at board 'mong â—aâ—â—ts of one accord To pray and preach to sing and praise to meditate and talk From day dawning unto dark night should be our work and walk Another on the same The Sabboth is a day of rest from Service Work and Sin When God had ended all his work the Sabboth did begin God set apart the seventh day and did it sanctifie Adam in innocence was bound that holy kept should be Then to the Iews God gave command this day for to observe And sorely punish wicked men that from the Law did swerve But when the time that Iewish rites were to be done away Christ did set up instead of it another call'd by day This was prefigur'd in the Law and foretold frequently This Christ and his Disciples kept strictly and ardently This mindâ— us that the work is done which Christ ingag'd to do Christs resurrection was thereon which makes us keep it too Some without ground would sleight this day counting alike all dayes Yet I with Saints will keep the same to celebrate Gods praise Upon my going forth to Preach To be my Shephards underling his Sheep to seek and save It joyes me more then any thing no work else do I crave To free a Soul from Death and Hell more then my life I prize Converting Preachers make me one shall shine for they are wise O let me Lord have skill to bring thy lost and scattering Sheep Into thy School and Fould also to teach and feed and keep My Lambs and little Ones are like to perish and be lost Oh seek and save them Lord thy self thou knowest how much they cost Thy precious Blood was shed for them that they might ever have Enjoyment of thy precious self this had no more they crave Upon the occasion of preaching upon a Mountain How fair and eek how beautiful are those Messengers Feet That preach glad tidings on the Hills their voice must needs be sweet Sweet is thy holy Trumpets sound that calls and summons all To lissen to and list themselves under the General God gave his Law at first on smoaky Mount Sinai God oft times did appear to his in such a place and way Alters were built by Saints to worship the true God The Temple on a Mountain was built where God made his abode Christ did resort to Hills to Watch to Preach to Pray Châ—ist was transfigured on a Mount clad in divine array On a Hill he tryed was and that he overcame When from a Hill he did descend he had the greatest fame Christ wrought great Miracles on a barren Hill Christ did ascend from off a mount the Scriptures to fulfil Upon a Mount in Galile Christ gave commissions To his Apostles for to preach unto all Nations From off a Mountain high John saw that glorious sight The new Jerusalem Christs brâ—de cloathed in white and bright The Mountains minds us of Gods faithful promises Gods Wisdom Might and Providence on Hills appear all these The prosecuted Saints did hide themselves in Hills Their th' Idolators worshipped God after their crooked wills Christ Kingdome and his Church his Mount of holiness Shall break and quell all Mountains and all Hills of wickedness Gods Mounâ—ains shall bring peace the Hills shall leap and sing On Mount Olive Christ will stand to judge the world as King The barren Wilderness
professed he had rather be a Martyr then a Monarch so should every Christian It is a special favour and great promotion to suffer Satan accuseth God to Men and Men to God but Christ excuses and answers all his accusations against his People Christians should do as the Shechemites did when their City their own Souls in strength was beaten down fly to their Tower even Christ The true knowledge of Christ brings consolation and the right profession and practice of him persecution When a man is imprisoned and shut up from Men he is the more shut up with God Account it not restraint as long as thy Heart can go out towards God and his People and Wayes in affection and prayer Retiredness and close imprisonment drives a man to hold closer Communion with God and to a stricter search of himself Take heed that preparatory meditation to Prayer doth not prevent Prayer it self or put you besides Prayer One of the radical sins spoken of 1 Iohn 2.16 Is every mans master sin I often found my heart in dayes of Humiliation more affected and melted by the Prayer of weaker then stronger Christians I would be glad to be out of the World when I have no service to do for God in it He that would live for himself onely or cheifly in the World is not worthy to live a day in it If I may have liberty to serve Christ I would have the glory to suffer for Christ Secret Prayer is either a familiar speaking to God or with God or a pouring out of the Heart before God through his Son our Saviour by his spirit Sometimes Ejaculations or short and sudden Pantings and breathings out of desires to God may be more acceptable to him and prevailing with him then long Prayers There may be great difference between the temper of a Christian one time and another yea in the exercising of his Gifts in Praying Preaching c. True Godliness and Hipocrisie are best discerned in turnings and changes either when they change their conditions by Marriages or are exalted to Offices or when new opinions begin to grow Due sin may cause thee more sorrow then all thy sufferings It is happy to dye in the Lord and honourable to dye for the Lord. Sins do dye and fall off from Christians as the Leaves fall from Trees in Autumn by degrees Christians are now as Abraham was driven out of Egypt and come where they were before or into their first State therefore they should offer to the Lord as he did Gen. 13.3.4 God is now spoiling us of what would otherwise have spoiled us Churches gathered in prosperity will hardly stand or continue together in adversity A Child of God may know the weight of sin by Christs sufferings for if that strong Heart of Steel did bend under the weight of our sins what shall poor weak men do which is but a Reed or Rush As our good works and performances should have an operation upon our Souls and Hearts to strengthen Faith so should our weaknesses and sins to work repentance It is a great condescention in God to afflict or lay his hand upon man and in that sence the Apostle exhorts Beleivers not to dispise or think little of the chastning of the Lord. Heb. 12.3 A Beleiver is to shut the Eye of Reason if he will clearly see with the Eye of Faith The promise is a Christian perspective and his Faith the Eye with which he looks through it upon Christ and God the Father in him A Prison or persecution is to a Christian as some scaring thing that one sees in the Night at a distance but when he comes near it and to know it he is not at all afraid of it Seek to find out your own Errors before another find them out and to write your own Errata's VVhen the Lord is trying his People they should be trying themselves Christians should not desire deliverance before the time appointed for that is as if a VVoman should desire to have her Child born before the full and due time Christians are apt to feel and fear punishment more then sin which is the cause of it Gods People must expect in the VVorld the entertainment of Strangers Sins in Saints are like Weeds weeded out of a Garden or Field which lye in the Alleys or Veins but never grow there again A Hypocrite is like a white Stone in the Water amongst other Stones and of that same nature with other Stones there hard heavy cold and inflexable and differs only in colour A true Christian is like a Flint-stone which though it falls into Water yet it keeps and retains Fire in it still so doth he retain his Grace notwithstanding his corruption Labour to act those graces cheifly that are most contrary to your master sins and cheif corruptions The Lord hath Saints enough to devide into three bodies some to suffer for him some to destroy Babilon and some to be for Seed-Corn to sow again in the Earth Learn by lighter Crosses to look and prepare for heavier In two Cases t is hard to Act Faith 1. When there is nothing sensible or visible to second and support it or 2. when there is very much to fil the outward senses It is a very common and ordinary thing for most or all Professors to be in one or two extreams either to over value or under value Instruments Creatures and Ordinances The more Saints do beleive and suffer the more they may expect of the spirit Iohn 7.8 1 Pet. 4.14 Be more thoughtful and careful how to use what you have to Gods glory then to gain more The Lord freely gives and justly takes away The exercising of Graces do naturally destroy sin and the more you abound in Acts of Grace the more you increase the habit Heb. 6.26 The Law causeth sickness of Soul but the Gospel healeth the same When Saints perceive their sins growing weak they should then prosecute them most A Saint is to put forth his Faith in Prayer and afterwards follow his Prayer with Faith In the midest of earthly business the Soul should redeem some special time for secret and private duties It is the will of Christ that Saints should rejoyce more in what Christ hath done for them then in what they have done or can do for him Learn to observe what God gives without asking and what he gives in answer to Prayer for the one begets Thankfulness the other more Prayer Christ kept the Law legally Beleivers kept it Evangelically he perfectly they purposingly and endeavouringly A Beleivers assurance and cheifest joy doth not arise from his sanctification because that is imperfect here in degrees but from his justification Rom. 5.2 1 Pet. 1.8 Look upon Christ first without you then search for him within you God makes us feel him or his hand that he may hear us strokes makes Crys and Whipings mornful complaints to him God troubles us that we may turn to him and leaves us a while for to see
whether we will follow after him It s strange and very bad sign to see Saints look more upon the sins of the wicked to ripen them for misery then after self humiliation and holiness to ripen and fit themselves for mercy He that cannot pitty the sinner and hate sin doth not reprove out of love to Christ nor from a gratious spirit He that loves not a Reprover and prizes not his reproof neither profits thereby is more his sins then his Souls friend If God hath kept thee from falling still fear watch pray and live by Faith on Christ No power can keep him in Bonds whom truth and innocency acquits Due end in being in the world is not to be to our selves Though the People of God may be killed yet they can neither be hurt nor overcome Christians though disagreeing in Opinion should agree in Affection and differing in Controversie should agree in Charity It is a very sad thing neither to be careful to do well nor repent of doing ill The Portion that Christ gives us is not near so bitter as his Cordial is sweet The fear of death is ingrafted in the common nature of all men but Faith works it out by Christians Nothing will be terrible where the love of God is apprehended and nothing greivous where love to Christ is exercised Learn to prefer Christ before self and suffering above sinning Look for suffering as for Exaltation for it is an honour to be accounted worthy and a double honour to be enabled and carried through safety A Beleiver should learn 1. To know God in Christ 2. Himself in Christ 3. Christ in him 4. Himself he was without Christ 1. wicked and wretched 2. unwilling and weak in good The Life of a true Beleiver is 1. In the Lord. 1. Thes 1.2 1. Iohn 2.27 2. On the Lord. Rom. 1.17 Gal. 2.20 3. By and from the Lord. Iohn 6.57 4. To the Lord. Rom. 14.8 Luke 20.38 Gal. 2.19 5. With the Lord. 2. Cor. 13.4 1. Thes 5.10 Rom. 6.8 The Care of a true Christian 1. To wait on God Isa 8.17 25.9 2. To walk with God Gen. 5.22.24 6.9.24.40 3. To work all his works in and for God Io. 3.21 Rom. 6.10 1. Cor. 10.31 4. To bring his will to submit to the will of God in everything Mark 26.42 Heb. 10.7 A Christian should take heed least he be giving way to his Heart to steal out now and then to sin and get some sweet Bits thereof between duties There will be a reviveing of old sins if there be not effectual repentance for them and a care by Faith through all Duties and Ordinances to get new strength against them and constant watch kept over them When God makes the World to hot for his People to hold they will let it go A Christian comes not to know the weakness of his Grace till the Spirit ceases to work in and by it nor the power of his Corruption till Satan works therein by his temptation A Christians Flesh should keep from the Shew and his Conscience from the guilt of sin Where sin is not killed it will kill Sin hath no Mother but a mans Heart nor Father but Satan Sin draws the Soul into it either by power or policy by force or by fraud Christians should not give offence carelesly nor take offence causelesly Fear thy Freinds more then thy Foes thy sins more then thy sufferings and liberty more then bondage Some Christians have four Thorns that greive them a Thorn of affliction from God a Thorn of persecution from men and 〈◊〉 Thorn of Temptation from Satan and of corruption in themselves Self loathing destroys self Love much and the more we loath our selves the better we love others When a Christian comes to be as weary of his sins as of his sufferings God will certainly put them to an end One of the cheifest works of the Soul is self exmination and yet a Christian will find himself most backward thereto and soonest weary therein The more a Soul is exercised in spiritual meditation the less with carnal Temptation The more frequent and powerful in private Prayer the more free from and the more potent against corruptions Seasonable and unexpected mercies are very sweet and acceptable It is a common principle in nature that no man can or should judge his Enemy or be judged in his own Cause Slothfulness is the Cradle of sin which the Devil Rocks Christ will be soon sencible of those Saints sufferings that are sencible of their own sins There is no power in the Creatures to do either good or hurt but as God disposeth them for it is God that puts their Sword into their hand Ezek 30.24 Take heed of reproving or upbraiding another in self passion or to provoke his Passion The Lord now shakes his visible Church as a Tree is shaken that the rotten Fruit may fall off Careless hearing makes carnal Hearts and carnal Hearts makes cursed lives He that will be much in self denial must be much in self tryal If we could be contented to be altogether without Christ or with part of Christ we need not suffer persecution When and where wickedness is most then and there the godly should strive to be most godly If Gods People could be diligent at their own work and leave God at his work they need not fear success As the Stars the higher they are the swifter their motion so Christians the more spiritual the more active in the service of God Nothing comes amiss to a godly man but sin What a Preacer does as well as what he speaks is doctrine to the People The cheif end of all Scriptures is to know God and to worship him rightly being known Christians should take heed least God should sue them upon an Action of Waste for wasting time and mispending mercies c. Sence of misery must prâ—ceed sence of mercy At the day of death but especially at the day of Judgement a Saint will wish he had sinned less served God better and suffered for him more He is a strong Christian that seeks Gods glory more then his own salvation but no Christian that seeks neither Sin undiscovered or unconsidered becomes sin unrepented There are many that serve themselves of Christ but few that serves Christ for his own sake Gods People have the love of God shewed to and set before them shed in them and sealed to them Let not a Christian leave off his running till he comes to the end of his Race but like the Moon though she be eclipsed yet forsakes not her Orb not discontinues her course at all Be sure to praise God when thou receivest power against Sin and Temptation and you shall be sure to find God ready to give you power another time when you want it Be still imployed in doing good and you shall not be much tempted or troubled with Evil. Some Christians have more trouble from and for Temptation and sin in one day then they have
and tribulations inward and outward by Sin World Satan and the gracious supports under all Thirdly In his Narraritical dedication to the Ministry wherein his dexterous and eminent skill unwearied activity singular faithfulness and admirable success appeared beyond many Fourthly In the perils hazards jeopardies persecutions imprisonments that he underwent for the Gospel insomuch that it is conceived it may be as truly said of him as any since the primitive days what was said of the Apostle Paul 2 Cor. 6.4 c. 11.26 c. You have some account of him not only in his heart-walk but in his House Church and Generation walk also First You have some discovery of his heart-walk out of some part of his Diary wherein you find his vigilant vigorous and steady watch not only to improve the motions of the spirit but to withstand the motions of sin and Satan his close and hard persuit after God by all ways means to keep the heart clean and the life holy to keep up grace in the act godliness in the power thereof observing daily his spiritual experiences both in his gettings losings Secondly You have some account also of him in his family-walk which so much be speaks the Christian wherein you find him as a man of knowledge filling up every Relation in the fear of God managing his affairs with discretion doing not only the things that were just and equal but singular also Designing with Joshua that he and his house might serve the Lord which he cared for in the first place witnessing therein a singular love and regard to all the souls under his roof A strict and zealous observer of the Sabbath a great lover of Hospitality administring with liberal heart and hand to all especially to the household of Faith insomuch that the blessing of him that was ready to perish came upon him causing the widows heart to sing for joy eyes to the blind feet to the lame a father to the poor and the cause he knew not he searched out Job 29.30 31. and so divising liberal things by liberal things he stood Thirdly You have some thing of him also in his Church-walk wherein he approved himself a workman that needed not to be ashamed rightly dividing the word to every one a portion giving bread in due season taking heed to himself and to all the Flock over which the Holy Ghost had made him an Overseer to feed the Church of God which he purchased with his own blood taking the oversight thereof not by constraint but willingly not for filthy lucre but of a ready mind And having the word of God dwelling richly with him in all wisdom did teach and admonish in Psalms Hymns and spiritual Songs A true lover and an affectionate promoter of peace and holiness a zealous and impartial withstander of sin errour and prophaness One that had dexterous skill to get into the hearts of sinners And one to whom the Lord had given the tongue of the Learned that knew how to speak a word in due season to him that was weary very compassionate and tender hearted full of true sympothy and fellow feeling under all weaknesses and temptations that attended any being experimentally able to administer consolation by the comfort wherewith he himself under many tryals had been supported and comforted by the Lord. Fourthly You have some account also how he behaved himself in his Generation-Walk wherein you will find he witnessed in a publick spirit much sincere love to his Country great faithfulness courage and activity to the Cause and Interest of Christ as it was stated for him against Antichrist and so covenanted for pleaded in his day And in the asserting and managing thereof it may be said of him that he bore in his Body the marks of our Lord Jesus and to which he was faithful from first to last even to death And not with so many that appeared so zealously cursing Merozat first for not helping the Lord against the mighty and soon after fell in with the mighty against the Lord Nor with so many Princes Elders and Father's contrary to former Covenants and Ingagements who made a Captain to go back again into Aegypt to the building again the things that they had pulled down and pulling down the things they had built But did in that day of tryal you 'll find as zealously and impartially withstand his Friends for Hypocrisy and Apostacy as others for Prophaness and Superstition foretelling and lamenting such steps as the certain foundation of ruine and confusion Neither did â—e see cause as an evil doer in reproach to Christ and his cause pleaded by him to beg and give thanks for pardon for serving of him Nor to deny forsake and forswear his Master and Crucified Cause but with courage and faithfulness you 'll find him â—earing of and rejoycing under the Cross owning and confessing him as well at Gibbet and in the Supulchre as when the Hosannahs were sung to him And so keeping the word of his patience serving his Generation according to the will of God he fell asleep dying in the assured Faith and Hope of the Resurrection of that Cause that he had so done and suffered for so lived and dyed in It is true under all the Worth and Excellency spoken of you 'll find him also a man of like passions with his Brethren and not without his infirmities having all this Heavenly Treasure in an Earthen Vessel and being a Son of Adam as well as a man of God that he might not be esteemed of more than was meet and that Christ alone might have the preheminency to be the great Example and to be imitated in all things the best of men being no otherwise to be followed than as they follow Christ because as saith the Apostle in many things we offend all The natural infirmity that he much groaned under and complained of was passion and rashness and which he would when overtaken with make haste out of and with due acknowledgements for his evil therein return speedily to a sweet frame and temper again It remains that since the pleasure of the Lord is thus manifested in the removing such a Father with many other such like eminent ones a late from us that the due improvement of such sad providences be endeavoured according to the ends before hinted whereby our holy Powels excellent Bridges worthy Blakes faithful Woods may yet though dead live and preach to us and may be a means to help forward the cry of doubling the spirit of the Elias's that are taken away upon the Elisha's remaining Mr. POWEL'S ACCOUNT OF HIS Conversion and Ministry Some Remarkable Passages in the Life of Mr. Vavasor Powel from his Conversion to his Death being the space of 30 years and upwards written with his own hand and found with the Confession of his Faith and other Memorable occurrences among his Papers TIll the twentieth Year of my age though I was trained up in learning from my Childhood
yet I was as most Youths are not only ignorant of the knowledge of God and of his son Jesus Christ and of Regeneration and other Mysteries of the Gospel and of my own miserable estate by Nature but I was also very active and forward in the persuit of the pleasures and vanities of this wicked world and justly tearmed as I was by my Companions and School-fellows Dux omnium malorum Captain or Leader of or in all evil only drunkenness I much hated looking upon it as such an unnatural thing that the most greedy silly Beasts abstain from it and I wondred that persons could delight in that which had neither true pleasure profit nor honour in it I had no esteem for the holy Scriptures nor cared at all to look into them but either Hystorical or Poetical Books Romances and the like were all my delight the Sabbath I much profaned by all sports though God was pleased to magnifie his grace so much as to make that the occasion of my Conversion For being one Lords day a stander by and beholder of those that broke the Sabbath by divers Games being then my self a Reader of Common-Prayers and in the habit of a foolish Shepheard I was ashamed to play with them yet took as much pleasure therein as if I had whereupon a Godly grave Professour of Religion one of those then called Puritans seeing me there came to me and very soberly and mildly asked me doth it become you Sir that are a Scholar and one that teacheth others to break the Lords Sabbath thus to whom I answered as those scoffers in Malachy Wherein do I break it you see me onely stand by but I do not play at all to which he replyed but you find your own pleasure herein by looking on and this God forbids in his holy Word so he opened his Bible and read these words in Esa 58.13 and perticularly that expression Not finding thy own pleasure upon the sabbath day such was the partinency of the place and the power that came with the word I was for the present silent and took it so far into consideration as to resolve never to transgress in the like kind again which resolution God enabled me to perform though as yet I was not at all convinced of my lost estate by nature nor of the want of Christ But about a year after I had a call to hear a godly excellent Preacher who in his Uses shew d that they who would go to heaven must do four sorts of services Namely hard service costly service derided service and forlorn service upon the last he did as I thought begin to put me to question whether I was such a one as was singular or did walk in that way wherein fewest walked or had performed any of those services and the more I examined my self the more I was convinced I had not which began to disquiet me much and made me go into private where in darkness I struggled not knowing what to do and was ashamed to inquire having never yet read seriously any part of the holy Scripture nor any other Godly book nor never prayed privately except by book and forms and that formally without understanding sense faith or the spirit of supplication for which things I began to be troubled but yet knew not what course to take but resolved to cast my self down before God on my knees and acknowledge I was in such estate I knew not what to do unless he would direct and help me being much discouraged by my own weakness and ignorance then by a choice providence I came to find a book written by Doctor Sibbes called the bruised Reed and by reading that I found there was incouragement for weak ones and such who had but a smoak of true desire though the fire of grace did not appear in them yet still I was like one groping in the dark till God sent a most holy sober mortified Christian to me who seeing me like a Char-coal that had been in the fire yet without light and life he pittied my condition and began to tell me what a hard work the work of conversion was it being no less then to make a stone flesh and darkness light these with many such words began to sink and to enter deep into my heart and from that time I took up the profession of Godliness although the foundation work was not laid deep enough so as to have the heart mortified for or from sin but I was disquieted within me and like a Boat tossed upon the waves that could make to no shore for safety At this time the Lord visited me with a very sore and great pain of the Tooth-ach which continued divers days and nights together in great extremity so that with the violence thereof I thought I should have been deprived of my senses or life and by another good providence I met with a little book of Mr. Perkins and in that with this expression if the pains of one little bone or tooth be so grievous for a few days what then will the pains of the whole body and soul be in hell for evermore Upon this my terrour began in Conscience to that degree that it made the other pain to seem somewhat more easie and both together put me upon crying out to God with greater sense then before and between fear and pain a troubled muddy spirit of prayer began to spring up and perceiving I had some help I pumped harder and so found at last my heart began to be inlarged with confessions and my sins were brought into remembrance for which I arraigned my self and lay in my own thoughts as a convicted and guilty person but all the while I knew not how or by whom to become guiltless or to attain pardon all this while I never looked on the Scripture nay I laid aside that book called the bruised Reed as too good for me to read and wherein I could expect no comfort But very shortly after hearing of another very famous godly Preacher I resolved to go hear him he Preached that day upon Mark 16.15 Go and Preach the Gospel to every creature He that believes and is baptized shall be saved Out of which words he shewed that as the Gospel was to be Preached to every creature so none could be saved but such as did believe in Christ which afterwards by comparing it with John 1 12. He shewed that it was to receive Christ and thereupon he encouraged all to receive Christ because he would supply all their wants strengthen them under all their weaknesses succour them against all their temptations and the like upon the urging of which motives I was much encouraged and perswaded to be willing to receive and take Christ upon his own termes but then he shewed that they who would have Christ and salvation by him must do the hardest learn the harshest part with the sweetest and suffer the sorest things which words being sutable to those that wrought the
first conviction upon me by another they were so much the more observable and as a second wedge clave my heart somewhat more made deeper entrance and caused further resolutions in me to seek to perform those particulars and to that end I began to read the Bible to pray often in private and to hear the strictest Preachers and to leave off my old Companions and to chuse others who professed Religion with whom I went to private and publick fasts held Christian conferences c. Upon further hearing concerning the old heart and body of corruption and that every man had some master and beloved sin and that there was a necessity of having the heart changed and corruption mortified and subdued the Lord shewed me hereby the sad and lost Estate my soul was in for want thereof and now the work of compunction and contrition began in me with many deep sighs and bitter tears self-loathing and self-abasing confessing of former sins sorrowing and judgeing my self for them and striving against them and seeking to kill them by long abstinence from Meat by much watchfulness by drinking cold water onely many Months together by tying up myself to eat so many bits of Meat and that of the coursest sort too at every meal some times six some times eight and twelve was a great meal with me and by this means I thought to overcome the Flesh and flying sometimes to the holy command of God against sin by which I found no other relief than a School-boy doth who complains to his Master against the hardness of his Lesson Rom. 7.9 for the Commandement came stirred and revived sin and so I began to dye and despair the Law telling me I was a condemned sinner the justice and terrours of God did seize upon my Conscience and the spirit of fear and bondage as the fruit of the Law and an effect of Gods wrath did bind me like a Prisoner to answer every breach of the Law Rom. 11.32 Not leading me to Christ but restraining me from him and shutting me up in unbelief And when sometimes through energy and earnestness of spirit in Prayer I called God Father had checks upon my Conscience for my over-confidence and presumption and to pacifie and silence this charge I was forced to confess my sin of misbelief or false faith and watch my tongue from uttering any such boldness for the time to come Thus finding no relief from the Law or command of God but the threats and Judgements thereof scorching whipping and wounding my soul I looked out for some suitable promise not any promise of Justification but of Sanctification as Ezek. 36.26.18 Mich. 7.19 That God would give a new heart and would subdue Iniquities So I fell a praying over these and the like promises but finding no answer of prayer my heart no more sanctified nor my corruptions subdued The next work at the instigation of Satan was to conclude that I had no right to any promise being out of Christ and that all my prayers were an abomination to God and so I began to question whether it was best for me to continue in prayer or to forbear But I was not long under that temptation considering that prayer was a moral duty and to be performed by all and that the sin of or in a duty should not make a man neglect his duty for upon the same account a man must leave plowing because the Scripture saith the Plowing of the wicked is sin Prov. 21.4 Hereupon I purposed to be more diligent to get into Christ and to have a new heart that so I might perform my duty acceptably I also resolved to prepare my self more for prayer to search and keep my heart more carefully and closly in my duty to God and if vain thoughts hardness or streightness of my heart c. did prevaile then after the duty I had as the Apostle saith Heb. 10.2 conscience of sin or my conscience smiting condemning and disquieting me sending and driving me to prayer again immediately it may be twice thrice or oftner together yea making me often times to rise out of my bed several times in a night and forcing me on my bare knees on the cold floor as if that had been more pleasing to God But all this being done in my own strength under a covenant of works and to work a self righteousness both to please God and to pacifie my own conscience as it was unacceptable to God so unprofitable to me Then hearing that Christ was sent from and tendered by God his Father to sinners I thought of coming to Christ but durst not through a mistake in the meaning of some Scriptures as that invitation of Christ Matth. 11.28 Come unto me all you that are weary and heavy laden and those words Luke 19 10. I came to seek and to save that which was lost from whence I concluded that none were invited by Christ but those that are weary and heavy laden and such as see and feel their lost condition whereas it is meant that they in an especial manner are invited I concluded I was not yet fit nor qualified for Christ but must have a precious work wrought in me to that end I supposed a greater and clearer sight of sin was needful therefore I often and earnestly prayed that God would perform that promise Ezek. 6.9 They shall loath themselves for the evil they have committed in all their Abominations Yea I desired though not understanding what I said that God would let Satan appear in some shape to terrifie me that by that means I might see my danger so much the more to induce me to fly to Christ Hereupon Satan took advantage and opportunity and as he did formerly to Saul so he appeared several times and in several wayes to me as once like a house stood directly in my way with which sight I fell upon my face as dead and after a while crying unto the Lord I had a little strength by which I was enabled to go home but was thereupon sick several dayes after Another time being alone in my Chamber late at night at Prayer and the door shut I continued in Prayer till the Candle went out and as I went on I sensibly perceived a strong cold wind to blow my hair was like to Eliphaz Job 4.14 15. and had the same effect for it made the hair of my flesh to stand up and caused all my bones to shake and on the suddain I heard one walk about me trampling upon the Chamber floor as if it had been some heavie big man upon which I grew so fearful and unbelieving that I ran down shutting and hasping the door after me and called up some of the family telling them there was a thief in the room but it proved in the end to be no other than that spiritual thief and murderer Satan who did both then and at several other times greatly affright and terrifie me not onely by his secret workings in the conscience but
Devils sinned and kept not their first Estate 2 Pet. 2.4 Jude verse 6. John 8.44 And Adam comprehending also Eve sinned and all mankind in him whereby all are become sinners and under the Judgement of God and by that one sin subject to Death Bodily Spiritual and Eternal and all as well the Elect as others are born in sin and are by Nature the Children of Wrath under the Law and Curse out of which condition no man can redeem himself or his Brother Gen. 3. Rom. 5. Psalm 51.5 Job 25.4 Ephes 2.2 Gal. 3.10 Psal 49.7 Concerning the promise of Salvation by Christ Immediately upon the Fall of Adam God made a Promise of his Son the Seed of the Woman Gen. 3.15 And afterwards often before the Law made and renewed a Covenant with Abraham and the Fathers called the Gospel Gal 3.8 concerning him how all Nations that is all Believers as well Gentiles as Jews should be blessed that is justified and saved through and by him Gen. 12. 17. 22. Rom. 4. Gal. 3. And therefore the Law that was given after was neither intended nor able to disannull the Promise or that Covenant nor to give Life and Salvation to any Gal. 3. Rom. 3. 4. Concerning the Lord Christ and those that are Redeemed by him 1. The Son of God did often appear both in the likeness of an Angel and of a man before and under the Law Gen. 16. 22. Exod. 3. Iosh 5. Iude. 2.1 6.11 14. 13.6.22 He was also clearly represented by many Types and Figures by Men sc Adam Abel Noah Abraham Isaac Joseph David Solomon c. The First-born the First-fruits Sacrifices and by many other things Col. 2.17 Rom. 5.14 Heb. 8.1 9.11 12. 2. All the Prophets did clearly prophesie of him and some of them in particular that he should proceed from David out of the Tribe of Judah be born in Bethlehem of a Virgin yea the very time when he should be born was also foretold and that he should be a Prophet Priest and King a Judge and Saviour to his people that he should Die Rise up again Ascend up into Heaven sit upon Gods Right Hand make Intercession give Gifts unto men and come again to judge the world the fulfilling of which the History of the New Testament doth plainly and fully shew so that there is a sweet and exact Harmony and Consent between that and the Old Testament herein Luke 24.25 26 27. 45 46 47. Acts 3.18 21 10.43 13.39 c. 3. In the fulness of Time appointed and promised by the Father God out of his own free and great love sent this his only begotten Son into the world Gal. 4.4 Eph. 1.10 John 3.16 Rom. 8.32 And the Lord Jesus Christ out of the like love willingly came into the world took upon him the Nature of Man or the seed of Abraham and the Form of a Servant being made like unto his Brethren and in all points Tempted or Tryed as we are yet without sin yet being made sin and a curse for his people he dyed a shamefull and a cursed death bearing as well the wrath of God upon his soul as painful Punishment from men upon his body Eph. 5.2 Phil. 2.7 Hebrews 2.14 17. 2 Cor. 5.21 Col. 3.13 Matthew 26. 27 c. 4. The Lord Jesus Christ by dying and offering up himself as a Sacrifice to God the Father through the eternal Spirit hath perfectly satisfied for the sins of all that were saved before his coming in the flesh or that shall be saved hereafter having also reconciled them to God his Father and procured everlasting redemption for them Rom. 5.9 Col. 1.21 22. Heb. 9.12 14 c. 5. All those for whom Christ dyed for them he rose again appeared in Heaven and continually makes Intercession for which he doth not do for all but for those that God the Father chose in him and gave unto him to be his Body his Church his Children Friends and Flock John 10. 15. 17 Heb. 2. Eph. 1. 14. c. And when mention is made of his dying for the world 1 Tim. 2.5 John 6.51 1 John 2.2 c. It is to be understood as when Abraham is said to be Heir of the world Rom. 4.13 that is of all Believers in every nation throughout the world John 11.51 52. John 17.9 19. 6. There is no other Mediator between God and Man but only the Lord Christ nor no other Foundation can be laid besides him neither is there Salvation in or through any other but in and through him alone neither can any be accepted justified or saved either in whole or in part by the Law or by their own Righteousness and Works 1 Tim. 2.5 1 Cor. 3.10 11. Acts 4.11 12. Rom. 3.4 5. Phil 3.8 9. Gal. 2.16 3. c. Concerning Justification and Justifying Faith 1. All the Elect of God were gathered into Christ and their sins laid upon him and he by his own Perfect and Personal Obedience without them made full satisfaction unto God for them and their sins and they were accepted and virtually justified in him as their Head and Representer before they did actually believe as they were sinners in the first Adam before they actually committed sins themselves as upon the payment of the Debt by a Surety the Debtor is as really and truly discharged as if he had paid it with his own hand and Christ their Surety being justified at his Resurrection as the Apostle speaks 1 Tim. 3.16 must be justified also from that Debt which was theirs for he had none of his own Dan. 9.26 1 Pet. 2.22 24. and so consequently they must be justified in him Thus the Apostle plainly affirms God was in Christ i. e. at the time of his Death for with reference to that doth the Apostle there speak reconciling the world i. e. that World as was mentioned before whereof Abraham was heir viz. the Elect both Jews and Gentiles Rom. 11.12.15 not imputing to them their Trespasses 2 Cor. 5.19 so the same Apostle in another place saith Who shall lay any thing to the charge of Gods Elect meaning hereby all the Elect as well such as are to believe hereafter as those who do believe already it is God who justifieth who is he that condemneth it is Christ that dyed Rom. 8.33 34. And Christ prayed on Earth as well for those that were to believe as for those that were already Actually Believers Iohn 17.20 And all Elect Children that dye in their Infancy must be so Justified from Original sin for they cannot actually believe 2. Notwithstanding that Virtual justification which the Elect have in their Head Christ as they are considered members of his Body and Part of the Universal Church yet the Scripture shews that there must be after they are called by the preaching of the Gospel a personal and as I may call it an actual Justification of every one that is to be saved Rom. 8.30 and
for suffering many months Poverty is the gift God as well as Riches When Saints perceive their sins growing weak they should prosecute them most A wicked man may give good Counsel from God to a good man and he not taking it may be destroyed Pharoh Necho to Iosiah It may be said of many a man that he is honourable and yet a Leaper 2. Kings 5.1 There is no evil in sin but there is some what in the name of Christ that speaks the contrary as sin is darkness so Christ is light c. A Beleiver is to shut the Eye of Reason if he will clearly see with the Eye of Faith The great Principles and Misteries of Divinity 〈◊〉 are to abide in God to live on God to walk with God and to live to God There are three sorts of Gospel Sacrifices 1. Thanksgiving Psal 51.17.19 Amos 4.5 Heb. 13.15 Hos 4.2 2. Liberality to the Poor Mich. 6.8 1 Cor. 16.1.2 2. Cor. 18.19 Heb. 13.16 3. Our selves Rom. 12.1 Sanctifying Thoughts 1. The Thoughts of God free and constant love to me 2. The thoughts of what Christ hath done for me 3. The thoughts of what I have been and done against God 4. The thoughts of what God and Christ are to me and I to them 5. The thoughts of Christs Excellency and some Saints Eminency 6. The thoughts of Death and Judgement 7. The thoughts of what I shall be and shall have hereafter A Christian should be much taken and rejoyce at 1. The least Revelation of Truth 2. The least Communion with God 3. The least additional measure of holiness 4. The least success God gives him in his work T is observed that the first word spoken by Christ in his ministerial office is an assertion to or of the authority of Scripture Mat. 4.4 God is not only the holy one of Israel but the holy one in Israel Ezek. 39.7 By Prayer God doth converse with me by Preaching he doth teach me by Meditation he doth fill me by Saints society he doth warn me by singing Hymnes he doth ravish me by his Supper he doth feed me By his Love he doth endear me to him by his Son embolden me By his Spirit unite me to him By his promises stay me with him Publick Disputations are seldome rightly managed being too often attended either with firceness and frowardness too much insulting over an Adversary if any advantage be gained or be left to oneâ— self in some thing or other to be worsted and shamed Or if some good hath been not to be so ready to give God the glory as in other things A suffering Christian should see that Innocency be the beginning and Patience the end thereof Six necessary Questions that every Christian shoulâ— ask his own Heart 1. Whether I am a Saint or a Hyppocrite a wise or foolish Virgin 2. What are the truest and strongest grounds I have of my Saintship 3. Whether if I be a true Christian is my Spirit Legal or Evangelical 4. With which of the Saints mentioned in Scripture can I most compare my self 5. What are the Reasons in respect of my self why I continue without full assurance 6. What is my master sin and what power hath it in my Soul or I over it God carries on the work of Grace in Believers 1. According to their natural parts and natural constitutions 2. According to the means they are under whether Legal or Evangelical Preaching 3. According to the things he hath to do by them or calls them to suffer 4. According to the shortness or length of time they have to live 5. According as they have been before the Conversion greater or lesser Sinners Recreations the Object and Subject being right must be 1. Not on Lords-days Fast-days c. 2. Not in the Night for it is given for rest 3. When we stand in need of it 4. Seldom 5. Not over-long 6. Not over costly 7. Suitable to mens conditions 8. To a good end In Duties we should 1. Look for to meet and enjoy God 2. Expect to hear and receive from God 3. Return somewhat to God As a Watch must be dayly wound up by him that carries it otherwise it is useless So the Soul must be spiritually wound up by Christ else it will be unuseful and unserviceable Christ hath more to do to bring us to be reconciled to God then to bring God to be reconciled to us Reasons 1. Because God is willing Men unwilâ—ing 2. Because God is satisfied and contented with Christs merits so are not Men. Soul freedome 1. To be freed from doubts of its eternal condition 2. Of scrupulous opinions 3. Of the power of Corruption 4. Of stinging Conviction of the Law 5. Of the fiery fierce temptations of Satan 6. From the fear of death Saints do commonly sleight and undervalue what ever suits not with their own Judgements James 1.8 A double minded man that is a man whose mind hangs between a double Object Christ and the World A Saint that hath been sick and near death and is recovered and returns into the World again is like a poor peeld Sheep that is brought out of the high Hill and Storm and almost to the Fold and then chased again to the storm Or a weary Traveller that is near his home that must needs return a great part of his way to fetch what he did neglect Or a man that hath been long at Sea and is in sight of shore but forced to Sea again Or an Apprentice that when he expects to be set at liberty must serve another Apprentiship Or Iosephs Brethren who returning home was forced back again into Egypt Things that seem small to Christians at a distance when God brings them to the Soul they seem great as persons or things at a distance as sin duty c. Two great Evils follow hardness of Heart Rom. 2.5 Impenitency and Wrath. When may sin be said to be a mans own 1. When he commits them out of his own as Satan doth Iohn 8.44 1 Iohn 38.9 2. When he hates it not but loves it yea more then any good Psal 52.3 3. When he nourisheth it Iam. 5.5 They pick the sweetest bits to nourish the hearts 4. When a man provides for it Rom. 13.14 5. When men live in sin 1. Tit. 5.6 6. When it is their Element meat Prov. 1.7 Sleep v. 16. Apparel Psal 73. Chain Prov. 10.23 Men carry their lives as men carry pretious water in a brittle Glass 2 Sam. 14.14 or a Candle in a paper Lanthorn A Saints second part of Sin is sorrow A true Saint hath his high places to walk upon Heb. 3. Last As 1. God himself his being 2. Christ as Mediatour his Light Strength c. 3. The Spirit as his Air. 4. The word as his Staff 5. Mount Zion as his delightful place 6. Gods decrees as his Record 7. Experiences as his helps 8. Hopes of Salvation as his encouragement The Evils I have feared and experienced in my self
are 1. To be hardened by the deceitfulness and guilt of sin 2. To have my goodness inconstant and uncontinuing as the morning Cloud or Dew 3. Because I cannot attain to that I urge and press upon others 4. To find such little effect of the sufferings of Christ and of his Spirit in me and of the Resolutions I make and Duties I perform Seek three things 1. To secure thy Soul 2. A sound Heart 3. A sin-sick Soul or a Soul sick of sin Take heed of presumptuous sin which is in Heb. 10. 1. A willing sinning 2. Knowingly 3. Despising of the Iâ—w 4. Sleighting of Christ 5. Doing despight to the Spirit 6. Falling into the hands of the living God without Christ and Sanctification Some of the last Lessons I am endeavoring to learn 1. TO keep Faith and to keep down Flesh 2. To be bound as if I were free and married as if I were unmarried 3. To dye before I come to dye viz. Expect and long for it 4. To attend every Duty better and to depend on them less 5. To realize and experience Spiritual things more 6. To make eternal things nearer by Faith 7. To have all things I see hear and read to leave a deeper impression upon me especially the sufferings of the godly and the sins of the wicked 8. To get more Communion with God in my services and sufferings 9. To have my Heart to mind more what God intends and doth in the Nations then what men do 10. To account of Gods least things more and of my own greatest and best things less 11. To make improvement of all former sins and sufferings 12. To learn to feed upon Gods brown Bread which is affliction better then formerly upon his white Bread his Gospel Ordinances 13. Not to think doing or suffering work hard 14. To get my self quite raised and recovered by vertue from Christ conveyed by the Spirit through the Covenant of Grace 15. To cease from all childish things 16. To do the work and bear the Testimony of my day in the day 17. to have a fixed or constant spirit for the word in Heaven is the same Psal 51.1 10. in the mar in God and in beleiving and doing good 18. To see that condition I am in to be best for me Some of my last Experiences 1. To see one sin after another more clearly 2. To see that I am very weak and shoâ—t in that grace wherein I thought I most excelled 3. That the sin that had most strength in me through the assisting power of Christ is grown and growing much more weaker 4. That I am more and more encouraged and helped to beleive by the strength of Christ and that as sin hath formerly weakned Faith so now Faith weakens sin 5. The sin and danger of neglecting ones body in making it unserviceable to the Lord. 6. That when a Christian begins to grow carnal can less the Lord leaves him to him self for sometime and either to be assaulted troubled with some Temptation or to be overcome with some Corruption 7. That before God raiseth up a Christian to a more spiritual estate or causeth him to suffer God Many times lets him know himself by leaving him to some corruption or temptation 8. That when and from whom I feared temptations at that time and from such the Lord did ma y loâ—fly deliver me evâ—n from the thoughts of Evil. 9. That very day and a few hours before my g eat sickness in Sept 9. 1664. I was strongly assaulted with Temptation and God in very mercy and wonderful seasonably did then lay sickness upon me 11. That a true Christian that is troubled with his Corruption doth rejoyce greatly when God doth by any means prevent and preserve from them 12. Exceeding suitably did God one day apply the three following Scriptures Esa 54.14 Ezek. 34.21 1. Pet. 3.14.16.19 13. That to shun one kind of Evil I found my self very ready to fall into another 14. That affliction when it was new fresh and first laid upon me it made and left more impression then afterwards As a further discovery of Gods gracious actings in the Heart of this holy man you have this following taste of his Spirit in this Collection taken out of his Dyary or Iornal it being his custome to keep a dayly Observation and Record of every every remarkable Providence occurring to him and of the frame of his Heart in his spiritual getings and losings every day which for the most part were written in Characters yet some being at large you have a few of them hereafter inserted which by Gods blessing may rend to the Edification and comfort as well as Example of many His Book is entituled Some Memento's and Experiences of Gods gracious dealings with Vavasor Powel Deut. 8.2 And thou shalt remember all the way which the Lord thy God leads thee c. Psal 143.5 I remember the dayes of old c. Can. 1.4 We will remember thy love Psal 34.3 My Soul shall make her boast of the Lord c. Collections out of his Dyary THis day I observed as many dayes before that I have commonly Consolation and Affliction in the same day If I have comfort from the Lord that day by Communion or communication or otherwise in the morning I am sure to have some trouble that Night and if trouble in the Morning I am sure to have some refreshing that Night but there is scarce one day wherein I have not some breathings from God and to God and as sure buffetings from Satan This day was a very comfortable day to me in the morning I was refreshed by those words 31. Ps 15. My times are in thy hands c. by comparing that with Ier. 20.12 I had much comfort in the society of Gods People and several times in Prayer that day and power against evil thoughts yet that Evening I was assaulted strongly with sinful thoughts but in my flying to God in prayer against them they fled from me This day being the Lords day I had some communion with the Lord in private Prayer and a greater sence of the sufferings of his People upon my Heart and it came into my Heart to aske earnestly of God that I might love him better then my Life and better then my Lusts remembring that Scripture in the 2 Tim. 3.2.5 That Self-love and loving of pleasure more then God will be the two cheif Characters of Hyppocrites and Appostates in the latter dayes In the Evening I was again assaulted with Evil thoughts which necessitated me to fly to the Lord in Prayer and thence I learned this Lesson that sometimes the very sin of a Christian drives him to his Duty and Service sometimes by way of prevention either to the Scriptures for some word of promise or command against sin or to Prayer and sometimes after a Soul hath sinned it sees a necessity speedily and earnestly to confess it repent for it resolve and watch against it This
happinâ—â—â— of a good m n above the wicked that the Lord stands at the right hand of the one and the Devil at the right haâ—d of the other Psal 109.31 compareâ— with the 6. verse This day I was learning that a Christian should endeavour to peâ—â—orm all his duties 1. more intâ—rely or with his whole Heart Psal 111.1 119. 2. 2. More delightfully Psal 119.16.53 47 70. Rom. 7.22 3. With more judgement and discretion Psal 112 5. 4. With perseverance Col. 4.2 This morning I was overcome with passion and frowardness which made me enquire into the reason of that and other Corruptions I was observing this that it is a mercy to have the Soul come to its place again after sin but far better not to go out of its place at all this Night I had a very sore and strong Temptation but was through the grace of God supported and strengthened from the consideration of Christ that was tempted who considers those that are tempted also from his Prayer Iohn 17.11 and from those two promises Isa 59.19 James 4.7 I fled to the Lord by Prayer and he delivered me and I trust he also will deliver me Being the Lords day I had my Heart in a reasonable good frame in the morning in Prayer I was observing that God exalteth himself even then when he humbleth himself to look on men Psal 113.6 marg I found my Heart much raised and enlarged in Prayer for Gods work and People had faith therein I observed from Isa 38.17 For Peace I had great Bitterness c. I learned that a Christians condition is murable and therefore he should be contented with his condition what ever it be and whether comfortable or miserable he should look that God may soon alter it and he should not desire to go out of one state into another till he hath gotten good by being in the former 2. That Gods love is not only seen in the removing affliction from us but in afflicting of us also 3. That Gods People should learn to gain assurance and experience by affliction This Evening I was much refreshed in reading Bains upon the Ephes especially one chap. the 1.13 and the 4.30 Concerning the sealing of the Spirit This day I observed the duty and resolution of a sincere Christian viz. to walk before the Lord. Psal 116.9 Gen. 24.40 I was also thinking how necessary it is for a right Christian that desires to walk holily to observe carefully the inward workings of the Spirit of God as also the secret wayes and methods of sin I was convinced also how uneffectual it is for a Christian to promise or resolve any thing in his own strength I learned from David that he oft mentions serving and seeking God with his whole Heart which dutieâ— I love and would learn more experimentally and practically according to Psal 112.2.10.34.69 This day I was enlarged and somewhat softened in the duty of Prayer several times and convinced what an evil it is in Gods sight 1. To be long under affliction unhumbled and uncleansed Jer. 44.10 Jos 22.17 and especially to sin wittingly and to add sin to sin I was considering of four duties to repent for sin to redeem time to get fuller assurance and to prepare for Christ I was also affected with some news that concerned the People of God This day I was observing that though a true Christian may have a sound Heart and Faith in the word of the Lord yet he may be as a Bottle in the smoak dry and withered yea and fainting and failâ—ing for the Lord and his salvation Psal 119.80 81 82 83. I learned this also that disappointment â—n ones expectation causeth dejection and trouble This day having had a long and serious discourse with a knowing Gentleman I observed somewhat more then even I had done before concerning the Image of God and the new man mentioned in Ephes â— 24. Col. 3.10 I had consideration also that Child of God may easily see to the end of or beyond all that the men of the world can do to him I had some inlargedness and softness of Heart in Prayer also I observed several things from 1. Thess 2. I observed the following Lessons 1. That by gaining understanding from and delight in the Statutes and Precepts of the Lord a Christian comes to hate every falce and wicked way Psal 119.97.104 2. To seek to get a Heart inclined alwayes to perform Gods Statutes verse 112. 3. That when a Soul hath an intention to keep Gods Commandements he will abstain from the company of evil doers verse 115. I had great trouble and sorrow in my Heart in the Evening from a Letter I had from a Brother tuâ—ned Quaker but my Heart was much drawn forth to to pray for him This day being Lords day in the morning I had my Heart drawn forth again to pray earnestly for that Brother and had my Spirit several times somewhat revived this day and among several other things which I observed 1. That a Child of God be altered much in the frame of his Spirit from better to worse as Baruch also Ionah c. 2. That a time of common calamity it will be a mercy for a religious man to have his life as Baruch was p omised to have Jer. 45.5 3. I observing how God may punish a good man in the same kind that he sins as Asa with pain in his Feet aâ— he had put the Prophet in the Stocks before 2. Chron. 16.10 12 compared 4. Oh what an evil it is in a Christian to sin David was told that he despised the Lord and his Commandement 2 Samuel 12.8.10 5. From Ezek. 10.11 that the Wheels that is either they Angels Saints or the providences of God they followed the head and turned not as they went so should we follow Christ 6. It is observeable that God takes notice of all that is in the minds of men Ezek. 11.5 as well as all the words in their Tongues as the frame of mens Spirits so they think of God for if they be holy and faithful they conceive so of God This day also I found the evil of my Heart to be in one frame when it should be in another as to rejoyce when it should mourn I lost oppertunities this day to serve the Lord by discourses with several sorts of persons especially some that pretend to the Virgin life who mightily sleight Iesus of Nazareth and the Scriptures which made me strongly oppose them and do with them as the Apostle commands 2. Iohn 10. that promise also was sweet unto me Psal 121.3 He will not suffer thy Feet to be moved This day in the Morning and at Noon I had my Heart drawn out and softned more then ordinary in Prayer yet I found my Heart suddenly moved to anger this was in divers sences a day of great kindnes from the Lord I was observing from Hos 12. 1. That fear care and trembling are especial means to keep the
I had my Heart several times in a good frame of Prayer Fifthly I learned f om Psal 149.2.4 How it is mutually between God and his People they joy in him and he take pleasure in them I also was thinking of the grounds of Saints doubts about their salvation viz. Ignorance in the Covenant of grace want of observing their Hearts of keeping up Holiness Slothfulness and favouring some secret sin and not profiting by ordinances I was noting that the wicked are not ashamed to profess that they endeavour hurt to the righteous without a cause Prov. 1.11 and that the godly should gâ—ow more bold by how much the more their afflictions increase 1. Thess 2.2 I had my heart this day so tned in Pâ—â—yer I was this day convinced of the negligence in that duty of desiring to see the Faces of the Saints as Paul did 1. Thess 3.11 I received a special Letter this day from our dear Brother I. B. which suited much with my condition and judgement I learned a word from one that I could not expect such words viz. I did not heretofore prize neither great things that were temporal of spiritual but now I prize the least things of either sort from 2. Cor. 7. chap. 4 5 6. I observed 1. That in the greatest trouble Gods People may have the greatest comforts 2. That their comfort is originally from God 3. That God may send in these comforts at such times and in such a manner as they expect not this Evening my Soul was a little refreshed by divers promises and softned in Prayer Being the Lords day I observed from Prov. 3.16 In all thy wayes acknowledge him that godliness is an eying of God owning of God imitating of God and respecting of God in all our wayes and upon the consideration of these two following questions I had many thoughts some of which were refreshing and satisfying to me from the first question how we may know that we have received real good benefit by our afflictions Secondly How we may know when God doth afflict in Love and Faithfulness Psal 119.75.71 also divers other meditations from Rev. 12.10 They overcame by the word of their testimony and by the Blood of the Lamb c. and concerning the spiritual Race which a Christian is to run I had some enlargedness and tenderness of heart God according to his usual way and dealing with me foreseeing what I could not to wit more approaching affliction did this day administer an Antidote even comfort by Letters from the hands of several special Freinds also those words keep sound wisdome keep my saying in the midest of thine heart and keep thy heart with all diligence were I adjudged words worthy of observation hearing this Evening of a gratious Brother and Preacher sickness my heart was moved earnestly to pray for him I observed in the Morning a special exhortaion out of Prov. 5.1 My Son attend unto my wisdome and bow thine Ear unto my understanding also verse the 23. that sin is a great folly so chap. 18.13 Judg. 19.23 This day I received a sad Letter from a Brother T. E. that is turned Quaker which added much â—o my affliction the good Lord shew him the E â—or of his way and humble and reclaim him this day I was sensible of my aptness to be angry and was put seriously to enquire into the voice and will of God by these additional afflictions and I find a need of the continuance of them and my heart brought into a more submissive frame to bear and suffer his Rod. This day I bless the Lord was a good day to my Soul I had enlargedness and much freeness with some measure of softness and earnestness in Prayer especially for the Saints of God and perticularly for my own country Christians I had also a strong resolution to watch my self more carefully and do my duty more diligently then formerly out of Prov 7. I observed several helps or means to prevent and preserve the Soul from sin viz. 1. A laying up the Commandements in the Heart 2. A looking on them or eying of them 3. Getting endeared affection to Christ 4. By taking heed of the occasions thereof This day was but a flat drowsie day to my Soul nor great good gained but sin and grace not discernably active and affections unwarmed and unquickened yet convinced of lost time and comforted a little from 1 Thess 4. With thoughts of Christs coming I was this morning instructed from wisdomes words Prov. 8.8 All the words of my mouth are in righteousness and there is nothing froward in them that I should take more heed for the time to come of a froward Month and Tongue this day also I hope I can humbly say it I injoyed the Lord both in Meditation and Prayer and being sensible of the want of skil in beleiving and more diligence in sanctification and thereupon I am resolved through grace and hope to be enabled to take more heed to my ways and as the Lord also presented that Scripture to me Thess 5.15 But ever follow that which is good This day I had a check in my Spirit for lightness of heart and besides an outward special Providence I observed I learned from the sin I saw and heard of in others to loath or at least desired to loath it in my self I also observed from Prov. 9.18 That one main Reason why People do not leave sin is because they do not know or consider the punishment of sin also what a commendable thing it is for Christians to be patient and beleiving in all Persecution and Tribulations Thess 2.1 chap. 4. This day being the Lords day through Gods grace I had my heart much softened and enlarged to call upon God especially one time I observed also that that want of the love to the truth and love to unrighteousness are the causes of men falling from the faith 2. Thess 2.10.12 also anoâ—her excellent Lesson from that word 2. Thess 3 1â— where he speaks of busie Bodies which signifies properly to be too intent about the work we should not be This dâ—â— I had my heart set somewhat upon the consideration hâ— t vâ— p â—â—â—s Pâ—ov 11.2 12 13. The â—ust â—hall be delâ—veâ—ed and the just shall be saved on of troubâ—e 〈◊〉 dâ— I was noâ—eing a great difference between having the light and the love of the truth this day I received an Answer from a Christian Freind of a Bâ—others business of concernment which signified his love and care and increased my affection to him I was somewhat affected also with the sweet Counsel of Christ to the Church of Sardis I had my Soul in some good frame especially in Prayer and comfort from the consideration of the promises in Psal 1.3 That the good man shall bear Fruit and that his Fruit shall not wither and Isa 49.25 and Jer. 33.20 From the stability of the Covenant I likewise considered 1. That there is that in Christ which answers
every condition 2. That we have done that which deserves the worst condition 3. That we should mind more the glory of God and our duty in our condition and not strive to make our outward state in a natural wâ—y sweet which God intends to sweeten otherwise Next day I sound my heart in a hard and streight condition and frame most part of this day and not disposed to the duty intended as it ought and in the Evening of this day I was moved to passion but avoiding occasionâ— yâ—ng to the Lord I was delivered and from Prov. 13.3 I learned two Lessons First to keep my mouth and to be well advised I also found a gâ—eat desire to grow in plainness and sincerity of heart This day by discourse I came to understand some Scriptures especially Iohn 3.14 and the 11.10 as is observed an written down in both those margenâ—s clearer then eveâ— bâ— o e also I obseâ—ved where the word Soul Nephesh is taken for â— dead body Numbers the 9.6 the 6. Chap 6. alâ—o two other necessary and seasonable Lessoâ—s from Prov. 14.8.15 viz. To understand the way and to look well to my goings also this Evening I had my heart a little more then ordinary softened and enlarged in Prayer This day I experienced but little good or gain gotten to my Soul and found my Heart but in a flat frame yet I was affected a little with the consideration of the great honour given by the Elders and others to Iesus Christ Rev. 5.13 and I perceived more desire after true sincerity of heart and observed a good providence of God This day I observed a remarkable passage in a great mans suffering death that he vowed and wished that if ever he did game again he might be hanged and hanged he was a warning to look to our wishes then I marked those two words Prov. 15.4 That perversness in the Tongue is or makes a breach in the Spirit I was smitten in my Conscience for an evil thought and convinced for my unconstancy in good and want of more sence of my own and others sins and slackness in some services but I had comfort from the 1. Thess 5.24 That Gods faithfulness ingages him to perfect his work in his People and to preserve them to the end This day being the Lords day I learned amongst many other Lessons from Ezek. 20. 1. That when Gods People do come to ordinances yet they should expect good only from God the People sate before Ezekiel but inquired of God verse 1. 2. That when People abuse their Gifts God will pollute them therein and thereby verse 26. 3. That those that go on in sin cannot expect to find God when they call upon him 4. That God may sometimes return the captivity of his People before they repent verse 42 43 I was convinced that it is my duty 1. To study my duty more 2. To strive to do my duty better this whole day I was troubled with the Head-ach and pain in my Stomach but I found the Lord enabling me with much patience moving my heart to praise him that affliction is not far greater Calm joy and ease came this morning from the presence of the Lord after trouble and pain with a resolution to prize time and mercy and to walk better and more diligently before the Lord who directeth the steps Prov. 16.9 and he that keepeth his way preserveth his Soul which Scriptures I observed this Morning this Evening I had some communion with the Lord in Prayer I was lead to look upon that duty 1. Tim. 2.2.13 Of praying for all men and from what I heard of another to praise God for his goodness to me This Morning I observed a special providence by the coming of a Freind to visit me and observed further from Prov. 17.5 Howbeit Gods affliction is compared to a fining Pot or Furnace to try and purge the Heart also what a sad thing t is to have good oppertunities and prizes put into our hands but to want improving hearts or to have corruption hinder good verse 16 20. I found no especial enlargment nor communion with the Lord this day but rather a provocation to pride yet of that good word in Tim. 1.3 chap. 2.6 met with me This day being willing to wait upon God I found him good to me in softening and inlarging and drawing out my Heart in Prayer and I had some comfort from those words Psal 9.9 The Lord will be a refuge for the oppressed a refuge in times of trouble and verse the 18. the needy shall not alwayes be forgotten yet this Evening I was set upon by temtation which in part prevailed and in part was resisted In the Morning fowl and and sinful thoughts came into my heart but God made them bitter and burdensome to me and now little sins begin like Flies to be more troublesome to me yet I much suâ—pect my self if the Loâ—d left me to my self never so little and short a time I had some joy and strength from Prov. 20.21 Wait on the Lord and he shall save thee This day my heart was somewhat melted and warmed in duty and I found power to resist temptation I had also my heart in a reasonable good measure brought to consider why the Lo d afflicts me and adds afflictions and was throughly resolvâ—d in two things that I would do what I could to pacificy God and to please him and to beleive in his free grace through Christ let him do what he will with me I was observing three comforts to the righteous from Prov. 21.18.28.31 This day was a good day both inwardly and outwardly especially outwardly I had some thoughts of Gods judgement to fear them and to endeavour to shun them and to intreat the Lord not to let me share with the wicked in their punishments much less their sins I observed from Prov 22.14 that it is a sign of hatred to be left to sin an excellent promise in verse 23. also twelve Lessons Paul teaches 1. Tim. 4. This day being the Lords day I had some eâ—joyment of the Lords presence as I observed and among other things I observed fiâ—st fâ—om Ezek. 39 26. That the first thing that thâ— Loâ—d dâ—th in the Redemption oâ— his People is to b ing them to remember theiâ— sins and to repent for them â—nd so having cleansed and saved them from their iniquties Jer. 33.8 Ezek. 36 29. he wo ks thâ—n â—â—eir temporal and outward deliverance 2. Fâ—om the fâ—st verse that when the Lord hath given his â—piâ—â—â— to 〈◊〉 People he never forsakes them more 3. From Psal 80.5 17. I had considerations of the great suffâ—rings of the Church of God of old and the ground of their comfort which is Christ 4. From Rev. 12. was much refreshed to consider that the Church when she went to the Wilderness yet that was by Wings that God gave her and likewise in the Wilderness there was a place prepared by God for her and there
she was nursed her whole time This day I observed from Lev. 26. Gods way of dealing outwardly with his People either in mercy or affliction according to their obedience or disobedience but though they have sined and brought punishment upon themselves yet upon their confession of sin humbling of their hearts and accepting of their punishment God remits their sins and removes the punishment this day God in his providence ordered that I should hurt and bruise my Leg which might have been much worse I humbly praise God for it and hope to profit by it This day my heart was very much enlarged softened and quickened in Prayer twice but especially once and raised through the power of God exceedingly to be willing to suffer I learnt 1. To beware of sleight and short repentance a thing I often consider off 2. To fear secret self conceitedness after the well performing of a duty 3. To take heed of the corrupting Flies of vain thoughts and idle words 4. From Pâ—ov 24.1 Not to desire the company of evil men 5. To see consider look and receive instruction from the Evil of others 6. That such as do the will of God but not with a good end shall be punished Hos 1.4 This day I was troubled with vain and wandering thoughts in solemn duties yet was made sensible of them and in some measure resisted them effectually I Learned from Prov. 25.22 how to perform my duty towards my Enemies and from chap. 26. 26. the danger of keeping secret sins that God will discover them before the Congregation God favoured me this day with kindness from and affected me somewhat with the relation and reading of Gods wonderful and strange works at which I desire to stand in admiration and to fear and tremble also to be affected with the sufferings of other Saints that differ from me I observed also from Prov. 26.23 How a wicked Hea t may be covered and undisceâ—ned as a Potshe d covered with dross also from chap 27.12 the Character and care of a prudent man viz. to foresee the evil and hide himself and from 2. Tim. 1. to learn to partake of sufferings and not to be ashamed of sufferers This day though I rose earlyer then ordinary yet through the multiplicity and continuance of company I made not such good impâ—ovement thereof I cannot say I profited much or gained or learned any thing unless it w re from P ov 27.12 That a prudent man foreseeth the evil and hideth himself also from 2. Tim. 2.11.12 I â—â—se ved great encouragement to suffer for Christ because we shall live and raign with him also to labour to be pure fit Vessels for the Lord to follow aâ—ter Righteousness Faith Peace Charity c. I was convinced this day of four things I was too negligent in viz. Studying the Scriptures sending to the Christians especially those to whom I relate finishing somewhat I intended and begun and improving my Talent in this place more to the benefit of other poor Souls I had my heart softened and in some measure enlarged this day in Prayer and truely affected with some Christians that came to see me I had some comfortable considerations from three promises Prov. 28.10 20 26. The upright shall have good things in possession who so walketh â—prightly shall be saved and who so walketh wisely shall be delivered I had also comfortable from Hos 3 4.5 Compared together and was put to consideâ— those in 2. Tim. 3.2 c. This morning though too slothful I had some bâ—eathings of the Spirit of the Lord and kindled affections in Pâ—ayer those words in Prov. 29.25 were some comfort and support to me the fear of man bringeth a sâ—aâ—e but who so putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe among other considerations I had this day 1. I considered that it was the needfulâ—st thing in a dangerous time to get assurance of Gods favour and salvation and to make hast to repent and return to the Lord. 2. To consider our spiritual warfare and to qâ—iâ— our selves like Christians in striving for victory over our â—piritual Enemies I had comfort from that blessed pâ—omise Ier. the 33.7 8. Thâ—s dâ—y I had no great benefit to my Soul only from Hos 4 8.10 12. I observed 1. That to have the heart set on iniquity 2. To leave off taking need to the Lord. 3. To lose the heart or have it indisposed to good 4. To go from under God 5. To be left â—o â—â—n oâ— igno ant of the mind of the Loâ—d are most sad things alâ—o from the 2. Tim. 4. 1. To Watch 〈◊〉 all â—hiâ—g 2. Endure 3. To be doing our pâ—esâ—nâ— duty 4. Looking for our cha ge and dâ—â— nâ—â—ng oâ— God to be kept â—â—om evil were mâ—â—â—asoâ—â—â—e preâ—â—nt Lâ—ssons I â—ound some softnâ—sâ— â—â—nâ—eâ—ity of heart thiâ— daâ— and h d tâ—re speâ—â—â—â—â—d 〈◊〉 in things in my hea t to deâ—iâ—e â—â—om Coâ—â— 1. 〈◊〉 A th ough repentâ—nce 〈◊〉 recoveâ—y 〈◊〉 of foâ—mer sins 2. To be perâ—â—ctly pâ—â—served â—o the â—â—â—e to come from evil 3. To be 〈◊〉 or my dissolution or sufferings I received much kindness from the Lord this day the words in Hos 5.15 Till they acknowledge their iniquity or be guilty I considered and thought I câ—â—e short thereof yet those words Prov. 28.13 He that confesseth and forsaketh his sin shall find mercy This day I injoyed some measure of the Spirit in softening and drawing out of my heart in Prayer and somewhat in beleiving and tenderness towards others and those words Eccles 3 18. Of Gods manifesting unto men that they are but Beasts I desired to apply and to take heed of being guilty of any of those sins mentioned Hos 4. 1. Of setting the heart upon any iniquity verse the 8. 2. Of leaving to take heed to the Lord. 3. Of losing the heart or growing heartless in good 4. Of going from under God also from Titus the 1.14 not to give heed to the Commandments of men This was a day wherein God abounded in kindness towards me yet I was convinced that I was not guilty enough or sensible enough of mine iniquities as God requires Hos 5.15 and from Titus 2. I learned that a true Christian especially a Minister of the Gospel should be 1. Sound in doctrine 2. Sound in Faith and sound in Speech And concernining beleiving I had three things 1. To study more the grounds of Faith and the reasons inducing thereto 2. Not to give way to any thing against beleiving 3. To maintain Faith by holiness This day God was pleased to enlarge my heart in good and to weaken corruption making me sensible also of the present evils both of sin and suffering I learned from Titus 3.8.9 That Râ—generation Justification and Adoption are of Gods Love Pitty Mercy and meer Grace also to be ready to diligent in and profited by every good work and to be angry with my self for sinful things and deny my self in lawful things oh my trouble
E ntred he is to glory through that way L aid open by him whilst he here did stay L ove thou the Paths of Life in this your day An Elogy on the Death of the Precious and Faithful Servant of the Lord Mr. Vavasor Powell who dyed in Prison for the Testimony of Jesus Christ. TRiumphant holy soul at last set free By Order from above to Liberty Most Glorious from Bonds of 10 years date In closest Prisons Castles desolate In Jeremiahs Dungeon and with John In Patmos Isle Brother Companion Th' Accusers charge the same pretended crimes For witnessing ' gainst Sodom's sins o' th times For the word of God and Testimony true To Jesus Christ and what Obedience due To his blest Gospel Kingdom Government O're Saints and Nations in establishment England with Sackcloth gird thy self lament And howle who stonest zealous Prophets sent To call and warn and witnesses dost kill To stop their mouths thy measure great to fill Thy day is come year of thy visitation Thy bloody sins presage thy desolation Lament benighted Wales thy Prophets gone Who or'e thee us'd to weeps and still bemoan Thy sins and souls when willing hearts did fly Like Doves to th'windows to 's blest ministry Cry out my Father Israels Chariots gone The Horse-men also and l'me left alone Where is Eliahs God Oh cry let some A double portion of his spirit come On mournful watchmen left whose souls do give The Lord no rest till Zions glory live Here is the patience of the Saints that keep Christs testimony till they fall asleep Victorious soul hence from thy labours rest Thou dying for and in the Lord art blest Thy soul made up of love and not confin'd To narrow judgment but with Saints combin'd As Saints in tender sweet Communion Still mourning after all their Union Under the Altar now thy blood doth cry How long till Christ arise to victory Mean while white Robes are given thee untill The last sore Plagues the Nations shall fill And Saints with Crowns return dust rais'd again To Judge the world with Christ and with him reign VAVASOR POWELL Anagram Vp al leau ' Sorow V nto thy long'd fo◠Jesus thou art fled A ll Saints the while lamenting thou art dead V pon them yet methinks I hear thee call A Las why weep you I am out of thrall S ouls where I am do Hallelujas sing O hast and follow to attend your King R est thou sweet soul in thy eternal joys P oor mortals what have we but transient toyes O nce thou didst live to Preach thy Saviours grace W ell now rewarded with his glorious face E nvy did haste thy joys create our woe L ord pardon them that know not what they do L et us turn grief to care lift up our hearts Thou art secure may we so act our parts An Epitaph A Corps lyes here whose soul 's above Debaucht mens hate devout mens love The Welch mens friend the maul of sin Who wooed all did many win Within this Grave one lyes inhum'd Whose prayers the prisons had perfum'd Haunted by Nimrods in his Life Waits for the joy of the Lambs wife In Honourable memory of my Esteemed Friend VAVASOR POWELL Acrostick Anagram Pale Sorow Vale. V ain are those hopes fixt on best things below A s providence by proof this day doth show V iew well this Tomb there resteth in this place A Cabinet of Gifts experience grace S o famous faithful forward in Gods ways O ut doing most 'bove most deserving praise R eaps now rewards is crown d with conquering Bayes P owell the great Apostle once in Wales O n stubborn hearts his Doctrine much prevails W i th dexterous skill and with admired success E ach Sermon Preacht abundantly was blest L abouring and suffering till his strength did fail L et all mourn moderate but Pale Sorow Vale. Vailed first in flesh then Prison now Earths womb Possess thee till Christ glorious day doth come Vpon the Death of that Faithful Servant of the Lord and constant witness of his truth Mr. Vavasor Powell who dyed a Prisoner of the Lord the 27 of the 8 moneth 1670. VAVASOR POWELL Anagram V. P. a savor well An other Lov 's paver awe V aliant for truth on Earth a good degree A mongst Gods worthies was attaind by thee V ast was thy knowledge thy experience such A s few there are do equalize by much S o Wales thy native Country can tell O f how great worth how much thou didst excell R eproach'd however thou didst Savour well P roved thou wast by tryals manifold O re now refined into purest Gold W eeping we 're left thy sable shrone about E ach thought of thee a fresh sigh sending out L ook here Lov 's paver hath to death resign'd L ook once again a Wo is left behind Unworthy world thou in it couldst not rest Paid off thy score receiv'd th' quietus est If I would choose how I discharg'd would be Fain would I choose a like discharge with thee On Vavasor Powells death a Memorial by 〈◊〉 Friend in three Elegies 1. VIctorious cruell death O greedy grave A mbitious still the sweetest blood to have V ain's thy assauit th' ast here but lost thy sting A nd now among the just his spirit shall sing S ure thou' rt deceiv'd this partial victory O re flesh and bones the holy soul made free R eleas'd at once from flesh and prison too P owells discharg'd which Power refus'd to doe O kind and friendly stroak what death kind grown W ell was it said and true even deaths our own E re long how he escapt his judge will trie Life suckt by long confinement makes a cry Vile age the vertuous ones thus to suppress Promoting vice on high and wickedness A Threnetick for Sion 2 Elegy in 12 Odes 1. But stay what 's this something 's amiss About this guilty City Hark what a cry ecchoes on high Which few hear fewer pitty 2. The voyce is Sions among the Lyons And in the Leopards Denns Alas shhe cryes where shall my eyes From tears be wip't and when 3. My sighs and sorrows by tears plough Furrows Upon my face it grieves That widdows scorn must thus be born VVhilst yet my husband lives 4. At once affected and yet rejected VVhat bought and sold again By bloud once sav'd yet now inslav'd To fierce and bloudy men 5. Ah what 's the reason in such a season Of hopes of prayers and tears Our lights so misted and bands so twisted And yet loe greater fears 6. That Turtle Dove Christs only love O're flames hangs in suspense My sons decease and griefs increase Gods anger 's more intense 7. My helps are gone and now I 've none To take me by the hand The best are taken the rest be shaken O' t puts my loyns t' a stand 8. Sure 't bodes a stroak if God revoke Embassadors of peace Our days soon end if to contend His spirit our