into thy bed-chamber by these glories and ioies to the ioies and glories of heauen Why hast thou changed thine old way and carried vs by the waies of discipline and mortification by the waies of mourning and lamentation by the waies of miserable ends and miserable anticipations of those miseries in appropriating the exemplar miseries of others to our selues and vsurping vpon their miseries as our owne to our owne preiudice Is the glory of heauen no perfecter in it selfe but that it needs a foile of depression and ingloriousnesse in this world to set it off Is the ioy of heauen no perfecter in it selfe but that it needs the sourenesse of this life to giue it a taste Is that ioy and that glory but a comparatiue glory and a comparatiue ioy not such in it selfe but such in comparison of the ioilesnesse and the ingloriousnesse of this world I know my God it is farre farre otherwise As thou thy selfe who art all art made of no substances so the ioyes glory which are with thee are made of none of these circumstances Essentiall ioy and glory Essentiall But why then my God wilt thou not beginne them here pardon O God this vnthankfull rashnesse I that aske why thou doest not finde euen now in my selfe that thou doest such ioy such glory as that I conclude vpon my selfe vpon all They that finde not ioy in their sorrowes glory in their deiections in this world are in a fearefull danger of missing both in the next 17. PRAYER O Eternall and most gracious God who hast beene pleased to speake to vs not onely in the voice of Nature who speakes in our hearts and of thy word which speakes to our eares but in the speech of speechlesse Creatures in Balaams Asse in the speech of vnbeleeuing men in the confession of Pilate in the speech of the Deuill himselfe in the recognition and attestation of thy Sonne I humbly accept thy voice in the sound of this sad and funerall bell And first I blessethy glorious name that in this sound and voice I can heare thy instructions in another mans to consider mine owne condition and to know that this bell which tolls for another before it come to ring out may take in me too As death is the wages of sinne it is due to meâ— As death is the end of sicknesse it belongs to mee And though so disobedient a seruant as I may be afraid to die yet to so mercifull a Master as thou I cannot be afraid to come And therefore into thy hands O my God I commend my spirit A surrender which I know thou wilt accept whether I liue or die for thy seruant Dauid made it when he put himselfe into thy protection for his life and thy blessed Sonne made it when hee deliuered vp his soule at his death declare thou thy will vpon mee O Lord for life or death in thy time receiue my surrender of my selfe now Into thy hands O Lord I commend my spirit And being thus O my God prepared by thy correction mellowed by thy chastisement and conformed to thy will by thy Spirit hauing receiued thy pardon for my soule and asking no reprieue for my body I am bold O Lord to bend my prayers to thee for his assistance the voice of whose bell hath called mee to this deuotion Lay hold vpon his soule O God till that soule haue throughly considered his account and how few minutes soeuer it haue to remaine in that body let the power of thy Spirit recompence the shortnesse of time and perfect his account before he passe away present his sinnes so to him as that he may know what thou forgiuest not doubt of thy forgiuenesse let him stop vpon the infinitenesse of those sinnes but dwell vpon the infinitenesse of thy Mercy let him discerne his owne demerits but wrap himselfe vp in the merits of thy Sonne Christ Iesus Breath inward comforts to his heart and affoord him the power of giuing such outward testimonies thereof as all that are about him may deriue comforts from thence and haue this edification euen in this dissolution that though the body be going the way oâ— all flesh yet that soule is going the way of all Saints When thy Sonne cried out vpon the Crosse My God my God Why hast thou forsaken me he spake not so much in his owne Person as in the person of the Church and of his afflicted members who in deep distresses might feare thy forsaking This patient O most blessed God is one of them In his behalfe and in his name heare thy Sonne crying to thee My God my God Why hast thou forsaken me and forsake him not but with thy left hand lay his body in the graue if that bee â—hy determination vpon him and with thy right hand receiue his soule into thy Kingdome and vnite him vs in one CoÌ„munion of Saints Amen 18. At inde Mortuus es Sonitu celeri pulsuque agitato The bell rings out and tells me in him that I am dead 18. MEDITATION THe Bell rings out the pulse thereof is changed the tolling was a faint and intermitting pulse vpon one side this stronger and argues more and better life Hiâ— soule is gone out and as a Man who had a lease of 1000. yeeres after the expiration of a short one or an inheritance after the life of a Man in a Consumption he is now entred into the possession of his better estate His soule is gone whither Who saw it come in or who saw it goe out No body yet euery body is sure he had one and hath none If I will aske meere Philosophers what the soule is I shall finde amongst them that will tell me it is nothing but the temperament and harmony and iust and equall composition of the Elements in the body which produces all those faculties which we ascribe to the soule and so in it selfe is nothing no seperable substance that ouer-liues the body They see the soule is nothing else in other Creatures and they affect an impious humilitie to think as low of Man But if my soule were no more than the soule of a beast I could not thinke so that soule that can reflect vpon it selfe consider it selfe is more than so If I will aske not meere Philosophers but mixt Men Philosophicall Diuines how the soule being a separate substance enters into Man I shall finde some that will tell me that it is by generation procreation from parents because they thinke it hard to charge thâ— soule with the guiltinesse of Originall sinne if the soule were infused into a body in which it must necessarily grow foule and contract originall sinne whether it will or no and I shall finde some that will tell mee that it is by immediate infusion from God because they think it hard to maintaine an immortality in such a soule as should be begotten and deriued with the body froÌ„ Mortall parents If I will aske not a few men but almost whole
doth not so much hurt against a wal as a Myne vnder the wall nor a thousand enemies that threaten so much as a few that take an oath to say nothing God knew many heauy sins of the people in the wildernes and after but still he charges theÌ„ with that one with Murmuring murmuring in their hearts secret disobediences secreâ— repugnâ—nces against his declar'd wil and thâ—se are the most deadly the most pernicious And it is so to with the diseases of the body and that is my case The pulse the vrine the sweat all haue sworn to say nothing to giue no Indication of any dangerous sicknesse My forces are not enfeebled I find no decay in my strength my prouisions are not cut off I find no abhorring in mine appetite my counsels are not corrupted nor infatuated I find no false appreheÌ„sions to work vpon mine vnderstaÌ„dingâ— and yet they see that inuisibly I feele that insensibly the disease preuailes The disease hath established a Kingdome an Empire in mee and will haue certaine Arcana Imperij secrets of State by which it will proceed not be bouÌ„d to declare â—hem But yet against those secret conspiracies in the State the Magistrate hath the raâ—k â— and against these insensible diseases Phisicians haue their examiners and those these imploy now 10. EXPOSTVLATION MY God my God I haue bin told and told by relation by her own brother that did it by thy seruant Nazianzen that his Sister in the vehemeÌ„cy of her prayer did vse to threaten thee with a holy importunitie with a pious impudencie I dare not doe so Oâ— God but as thy seruant Augustin wisht that Adam had not sinned therefore that Christ might not haue died may I not to this one purpose wish That if the Serpent before the tentation of Eue did goe vpright and speake that he did so still because I should the sooner heare him if he spoke the sooner see him if he went vpright In his curse I am cursed too his creeping vndoes mee for howsoeuer hee begin at the heele and doe but bruise that yet he and Death in him is come into our windowes into our Eyes and Eares the entraÌ„ces inlets of our soule He works vpon vs in secret we doe not discerne him And one great work of his vpon vs is to make vs so like himselfe as to sin in secret that others may not see vs But his Master-piece is to make vs sin in secret so as that we may not see our selus sin For the first the hiding of our sins from other men hee hath induo'd that which was his off-spring from the beginning A lye for man is in Nature yet in possesâ—ion of some such sparkes of ingenuitie noblenesse as that but to disguise Euill hee would not lye The bodie the sinne is the Serpents and the garment that couers it the lye is his too These are his but the hiding of sinne from our selues is Hee himselfe when we haue the sting of the Serpent in vs and doe not sting our selues the venim of sin and no remorse for sinn then as thy blessed Sonne said of Iudas Hee is a deuill not that he had one but was one so we are become deuils to our selues and we haue not only a Serpent in our bosome but we our selues are to our selues that Serpent How farre did thy seruant Dauid presse vpon thy pardon in that petition Clense thou me from secret sinns can any sin bee secret for a great part of our sinnes though sayes thy Prophet we conceiue them in the darke vpon ouâ— bed yet sayes he We doe them in the light there are many sins which we glorie in doing and would not doe if no body should know theÌ„ Thy blessed seruant August confesses that hee was ashamed of his shamefastnes and tendernesse of Conscience and that he often be lied himself with sinnes which he neuer did lest he should be vnacceptable to his sinfull companions But if we would conceale them thy Prâ—phet found such a desire and such a practise in some wheÌ„ he said Thou hast trusted in thy wickedkednes and thou hast sayd None shall see me yet can we conceale theÌ„ Thou O God canst heare of them by others The voice of Abels blood will tell thee of Cains murder the Heauens themselues will tell thee HeaueÌ„ shal reueale his iniquity a smal creature alone shall doe it A bird of the ayre shall carry the voice and tell the matter Thou wilt trouble no Informer thou thy selfe reuealedst Adams sin to thy selfe And the manifestation of sin is so ful to thee as that thou shalt reueale all to all Thou shalt bring euery worke to Iudgement with euery secret thing and there is nothing couered that shall not bee reuealed But O my God there is another way of knowing my sins which thou louest better then any of these To know them by my Confession As Phisicke works so it drawes the peccant humour to it selfe that when it is gathered together the weight of it selfe may carry that humour away so thy Spirit returns to my Memory my former sinnes that being so recollected they may powre out themâ—elues by Confession When I kept silence sayes thy seruant Dauid day and night thy hand was heauy vpon mee But when I said I wil confesse my transgressions vnto the Lord thou forgauest the iniquitie of my sinne Thou interpretest the very puâ—pose of Confession so well as that thou scarce leauest any new Mercy for the action it selfe This Mercy thou leauest that thou armest vs thereupon against relapses into the sinnes which wee haue confessed And that mercy which thy seruant Augustine apprehends when he sayes to thee Thou hast forgiueÌ„ me those sinnes which I haue done and those sinnes which only by thy grace I haue not done they were done in our inclination to them and euen that inclination needs thy mercy and that Mercy he calls a Pardon And these are most truly secret sinnes because they were neuer done and because no other man nor I my selfe but onely thou knowest how many and how great sinnes I haue scaped by thy grace which without that I should haue multiplied against thee 10. PRAYER O Eternall and most gracious God who as thy Sonne Christ Iesus though hee knew all things yet said hee knew not the day of Iudgement because he knew it not so as that he might tell it vs so though thou knowest all my sins yet thou knowest them not to my comfort except thou know them by my telling them to thâ—e how shall I bring to thy knowledg by that way those sinns which I my selfe know not If I accuse my selfe of Originall sin wilt thou ask me if I know what originall sin is I know not enough of it to satisfie others but I know enough to condemne my self to solicit thee If I confesse to thee the sinnes of my youth wilt thou aske
this Deluge There is a red Sea greater than this Ocean and there is a little spring through which this Ocean may powre it selfe into that red Sea Let thy Spirit of true contrition and sorrow passe all my sinnes through these eies into the wounds of thy Sonne and I shall be cleane and my soule so much better purged than my body as it is ordained for a better and a longer life 21 Atque annuit Ille Qui per eos clamat Linquas iam Lazare lectum God prospers their practise and he by them calls Lazarus out of his tombe mee out of my bed 21. MEDITATION IF man had beene left alone in this world at first shall I thinke that he would not haue fallen If there had beene no Woman would not Man haue serued to haue beene his owne Tempter When I see him now subiect to infinite weakenesses fall into infinite sinne without any forraine tentations shall I thinke hee would haue had none if hee had beene alone GOD saw that Man needed a Helper if hee should bee well but to make Woman ill the Deuill saw that there needed no third When God and wee were alone in Adam that was not enough when the Deuill and wee were alone in Eue it was enoughâ— O what a Giant is Man when hee fights against himselfe and what a dwarfe when hee needs or exercises his owne assistance for himselfe I cannot rise out of my bed till the Physitian enable mee nay I cannot tel that I am able to rise till hee tell me so I doe nothing I know nothing of my selfe how little and how impotent a peâ—ce of the world is any Man alone and how much lesse a peece of himselfe is that Man So little as that when it falls out as it falls out in some cases that more misery and more oppression would bee an ease to a man he cannot giue himselfe that miserable addition of more misery â— A man that is pressed to death and might be eased by more weights cannot lay those more weights vpon himselfe Hee can sinne alone and suffer alone but not repent not bee absolued without another Another tels mee I may rise and I doe so But is euery raising a preferment or is euery present preferment a station I am readier to fall to the Earth now I am vp than I was whâ—n I lay in the bed O peruerse way irregular motion of Man euen rising it selfe is the way to Ruine How many men are raised and then doe not fill the place they are raised to No corner of any place can bee empty there can be no vacuity If that Man doe not fill the place other men will complaints of his insufficiency will fill it Nay such an abhorring is there in Nature of vacuity that if there be but an imagination of not filling in any man that which is but imagination neither will â—ill it that is rumor and voice and it will be giuen â—ut vpon no ground but Imagination and no man knowes whose imagination that hee is corrupt in his place or insufficient in his place and another prepared to succeed him in his place A man rises sometimes and stands not because hee doth not or is not beleeued to fill his place and sometimes he stands not because hee ouer-fills his place Hee may bring so much vertue so much Iustice so much integrity to the place as shall spoile the place burthen the place his integrity may bee a Libell vpon his Predecessor and cast an infamy vpon him and a burden vpon his successor to proceede by example and to bring the place it selfe to an vnder-value and the market to an vncertainty I am vp and I seeme to stand and I goe round and I am a new Argument of the new Philosophie That the Earth â—oues round why may â— not beleeue that the â—hole earth moues in a round motion though that seeme to mee to stand when as I seeme â—o stand to my Compaâ—y and yet am carried in a giddy and circular motion as I stand Man hath no center but misery there and onely there hee is fixt and sure to finde himselfe How little soeuer he bee raised he moues and moues in a circle giddily and as in the Heauens there are buâ— a few Circles thâ—t goe about the whole world but many Epicicles and other lesser Circles but yet Circles so of those men which are raised and put into Circles few of them moue from place to place and passe through many and beneficiall places but fall into litâ—le Circles and within a step or two are at their end and not so well as they were in â—he Center from which â—hey were raised Eueâ—y thing serues to exemâ—lifie to illustrate mans â—isery But I need goe â—o farther than my selfe â—or a long time I was not â—ble to rise At last I â—ust bee raised by oâ—hers and now I am vp I am ready to sinke lower than before â—1 EXPOSTVLATION MY God my God how large a glasse of the next World is this As wee haue an Art to cast from onâ— glasse to another and so to carry the Species a great way off so hast thou that way much more wee shall haue a Resurrection in Heauen the knowledge of that thou castest by another glasse vpon vs here we feele that wee haue a Resurrection from sinne and that by another glasse too wee see wee haue a Resurrection of the body from the miseâ—ies and calamities of â—his life This Resurreâ—tion of my body shewes me the Resurrection of â—ny soule and both â—ere seuerally of both â—ogether hereafter Since â—hy Martyrs vnder the Altar presse thee with â—heir solicitation for the Resurrection of the body to glory thou wouldest pardon mee if I should presse thee by Prayer for the accomplishing of this Resurrection which thou hast begunne in me to blessed and glorious Trâ—â—nity was none to heare but you three and yoâ— easily heare one anoâ—ther because you saâ— the same things Buâ— when thy Sonne camâ— to the worke of Reâ—demption thou spokest and they that heard it tooke it for Thunder and thy Sonne himselfâ— cried with a loud voice â— vpon the Crosse twiceâ— as hee who was to prepare his commingâ— Iohn Baptist was thâ— voice of a cryer and â—ot of a Whisperer Still â—f it be thy voice it is a loud voice These words â—aies thy Moses Thou â—okest with a great voice â—nd thou addest no more â—aies hee there That which thou hast said is â—uident and it is euident â—hat none can speake so â—oud none can binde vs â—o heare him as wee â—ust thee The most high vttered his voice what was his voice The Lord â—â—undred from heauen it might bee heard But â—his voice thy voice is also a mightie voice not onely mightie in power it may be heard nor mightie in obligation it shoulâ— be heard but mightie in operation it will beâ— heard and therefore hasâ— thou bestowed a wholâ— Psalme vpon vs to leadâ—
eyes to testifie my spiritual sicknes I stand in the way of tentations naturally necessarily all men doe so for there is a Snake in euery path tentations in euery vocation but I go I run I flie into the wayes of teÌ„tation which I might shun nay I breake into houses wher the plague is I presse into places of tentation and tempt the deuill himselfe and solicite importune them who had rather be left vnsolicited by me I fall sick of Sin and am bedded and bedrid buried and putrified in the practise of Sin and all this while haâ—e no presage no pulse no sense of my sicknesse O heighth O depth of misery where the first Symptome of the sicknes is Hell where I neuer fee the feuer of lust of enuy of ambition by any other light then the darknesse and horror of Hell it selfe â— where the first Messenger that speaks to me doth not sayâ— Thou mayst die no nor Thou must die but Thou art dead and where the first notice that my Soule hath of her sicknes is irrecouerablenes irremediablenes but O my God Iob did not charge thee foolishly in his temporall afflictions nor may I in my spirituall Thou hast imprinted a pulse in our Soule but we do not examine it a voice in our conscience but wee doe not hearken vnto it We talk it out we iest it out we drinke it out we sleepe it out and when wee wake we doe not say with Iacob Surely the Lord is in this place and I knew it not but though we might know it we do not we wil not But will God pretend to make a Watch and leaue out the springe to make so many various wheels in the faculties of the Soule and in the organs of the body and leaue out Grace that should moue them or wil God make a springe and not wind it vp Infuse his first grace not second it with more without which we can no more vse his first grace when we haue it then wee could dispose our selues by Nature to haue it But alas that is not our case we are all prodigall sonnes and not disinherited wee haue receiued our portion and mis-spent it not bin denied it We are Gods tenants heere and yet here he our Land-lord payes vs Rents not yearely nor quarterly but hourely and quarterly Euery minute he renewes his mercy but wee will not vnderstand least that we should be conuerted and he should heale vs. 1. PRAYER O Eternall and most gracious God who considered in thy selfe art a Circle first and last and altogether but considered in thy working vpon vs art a direct line and leadest vs from our beginning through all our wayes to our end enable me by thy grace to looke forward to mine end and to looke backward to to the coÌ„siderations of thy mercies afforded mee from the beginning that so by that practise of considering thy mercy in my beginning in this world when thou plaÌ„tedst me in the Christian Church and thy mercy in the beginning in the other world wheÌ„ thou writest me in the Booke of life in my Election I may come to a holy consideration of thy mercy in the beginning of all my actions hereâ— That in all the beginâ—nings in all the accesses and approches of spiriâ—tuall sicknesses of Sinn may heare and hearkeâ— to that voice O thou Maâ— of God there is death in thâ— pot and so refraine from that which I was so hungerly so greedily flying to A faithfull Amâ—bassador is health says thy wise seruant Solomon â— Thy voice receiued in the beginning of a sicknesse of a sinne is true health If I can see that light betimes and heare that voyce early Then shall my light breake forth as the morning and my health shall spriug foorth speedily Deliuer mee therefore O my God from these vaine imaginations that it is an ouercurious thing a dangerous thing to come to that tendernesse that rawnesse that scrupulousnesse to feare euery concupiscence euery offer of Sin that this suspicious iealous diligence will turne to an inordinate deiection of spirit and a diffidence in thy care prouidence buâ— keep me still establish'd both in a constant assurance that thou wilâ— speake to me at the beginning of euery such sicknes at the approach of euery such Sinne and that if I take knowledg of that voice then anâ— flye to thee thou wilâ— preserue mee from falling or raise me againe when by naturall infirmitieâ— I am fallen doâ— this O Lord for his sake who knowes our naturall infirmities for he had them and knowes the weight of our sinns for he paid a deare price for them thy Sonne our Sauiour Chr Iesus Amen 2. Actio Laesa The strength and the functioÌ„ of the Senses other faculties change and faile 2. MEDITATION THe Heauens are not the lesse constant because they moue continually because they moue continually one and the same way The Earth is not the more constant because it lyes stil continually because continually it changes and melts in al the parts thereof Man who is the noblest part of the Earth melts so away as if he were a statue not of Earth but of Snowe We see his owne Enuie melts him hee growes leane with that he will say anothers beautie melts him but he feeles that a Feuer doth not melt him like snow but powr him out like lead like yron like brasse melted in a furnace It doth not only melt him but Calcine him reduce him to Atomes and to ashes not to water but to lime And how quickly Sooner then thou canst receiue an answer sooner then thou canst conceiue the question Earth is the center of my body Heauen is the center of my Soule these two are the naturall place of these two but thoâ— goe not to these two iâ— an equall place My bâ—â—dy falls downe withouâ— pushing my Soule doâ—â— not go vp without puâ—ling Ascension is mâ— Soules pace measurâ— but precipitation my bâ—dies And euen Angellâ— whose home is Heaueâ— and who are wingeâ— too yet had a Ladder 〈◊〉 goe to Heauen by stepâ— The Sunne who goes 〈◊〉 many miles in a minuâ—â— The Starres of the Fiâ—â—mament which go so very many more goe not so fast as my body to the earth In the same instant that I feele the first attempt of the disease I feele the victory In the twinckling of an eye I can scarse see instantly the tast is insipid and fatuous instantly the appetite is dull and desirelesseâ— instantly the knees are sinking and strengthlesse and in an instant sleepe which is the picture the copy of death is taken away that the Originall Death it selfe may succeed and that so I might haue death to the life It was part of Adams punishment In the sweat of thy browes thou shalt eate thy bread â— it is multiplied to me I haue earned bread in the sweat of my browes in the labor of my calling and I haue itâ— and I sweat againe
mold any form and to spend it selfe in any function As therfore thy Son did vpon the Coyne I look vpon the King and I askâ— whose image whose inscription hee hath and he hath thine And I giue vnto thee that which iâ— thine I recommend his happines to thee in alâ— my sacrifices of thanks for that which hee enioyes and in al my praiers for the continuance and inlargement of theÌ„ But let me stop my Gâ—d and consider will noâ— this look like a piece of art cunning to conuey into the world an opinion that I were more particularly in his care then other men And that heerein in a a shew of humilitie and thankefulnesse I magnifie my selfe more then there is cause But let not that iealousie stopp mee O God but let me go forward in celebrating thy mercy exhibited by him This which hee doth now in assisting so my bodily health I know is common to me with many Many manyâ— haue tasted of that expression of his gracioâ—snes Where hee â—an giue health by his owne hands hee dothâ— and to more then any of his predecessors haue done Therefore hath God reserued one diseasâ— for him that hee onely might cure it though perchance not onely by one Title and Interest nor only as one king To those that need it not in that kind and so cannot haue it by his owne hand he sends a donatiue of health in sending his Phisician The holy King S. Lewis in France our Maud is celebrated for that that persoÌ„ally they visited Hospitals assisted in the Cure euen of loathsome Diseases And when that religious Empress Placilla the wife of Theodosius was told that she diminished her â—elfe to much in those personal assistances might doe enough in sending â—eliefe shee said Shee would send in that capacitie as Empresse but shee would go to in that capacitie as a Christian as a fellow member of the body oâ— thy Son with them So thy seruaÌ„t Dauid applies him selfe to his people so he incorporates himselfe in his people by calling them his brethren his bones his flesh and when they fel vnder thy hand euen to the pretermitting of himselfe he presses vpon thee by prayeâ— for them I haue siâ—â—ned but these sheepe what haue they donne let thine hand I pray thee be against me and against my fathers house It is kingly to giue wheÌ„ Araumah gaue that great free present to Dauid that place those instrumeÌ„ts for sacrifice and the sacrifices themselues it is said there by thy Spirit Al these things did Araumah giue as a King to the King To giue is an approaching to the Condition of Kings but to giue health an approching to the King of Kings to thee But this his assisting to my bodily health thou knowest O God and so doe some others of thine Honorable seruants know is buâ— the twy-light of that day wherein thouâ— thorow him hast shind vpon mee before but the Eccho of that voyce whereby thou through him hast spoke to mee before Then when he first of any man conceiu'd a hope that I might be of some vse in thy Church and descended to an intimation to a perswasioÌ„ almost to a solicitatioÌ„ that I would embrace that calling And thou who hadst put that desire into his heart didst also put into mine an obedience to it and I who was sicke before of a vertiginous giddines and irresolution and almost spent all my time in consulting how I should spend it was by this man of God and God of men put into the poole and recouerd when I asked perchaÌ„ce a stone he gaue me bread when I asked perchaÌ„ce a Scorpion he gaue me a fish wheÌ„ I asked a temporall office hee denied not refused not that but let mee see that hee had rather I took this These things thou O God who forgettest nothing hast not forgot though perchance he because they were benefits hath but I am not only a witnesse but an instance that ouâ— Iehosophat hath a care to ordaine Priests as well as Iudges and not only to send Phisicians foâ— temporall but to bee the Phisician for spirituall health 8. PRAYER O Eternall and most gracious God who though thou haue reserued thy tresure of perfit ioy and perfit glory to be giuen by thine own hands then wheÌ„ by seeing thee as thou art in thy selfe and knowing thee as we are known wee shall possesse in an instant and possesse for euer all that can any way coÌ„duce to our happinesses yet here also in this world giuest vs such earnests of that full payment as by the value of the earnest we may giue some estimat of the tresure humbly and thaÌ„kfully I acknowledge that thy blessed spirit instructs mee to make a differeÌ„ce of thy blessings in this world by that difference of the Instruments by which it hath pleased thee to deriue them vnto me As we see thee heere in a glasse so we receiue froÌ„ thee here by reflexion by instruments Euen casual things come from thee and that which we call Fortune here hath another name aboue Nature reaches out her hand and giues vs corne and wine and oyle and milk but thou fillest her hand before and thou openest her hand that she may rain down her showres vpon vs. Industry reaches out her hand to vs and giues vs fruits of our labor for our selues our posteritie but thy hand guides that hand when it sowes and when it waters and the increase is from thee Friends reach out their hands prefer vs but thy hand supports that haÌ„d that supports vs. Of all these thy instruments haue I receiued thy blessing O God but bless thy name most for the greatest that as a member of the publike and as a partaker of priuate fauours too by thy right hand thy powerfull hand set ouer vs I haue had my portion not only in the hearing but in the preaching of thy Gospel Humbly beseeching thee that as thou continuest thy wonted goodnes vpon the whol world by the wonted meanes instruments the same Sun and Moon the same Nature and Industry so to continue the same blessings vpon this State and this Church by the same hand so long as that thy Son when he comes in the clouds may find him or his Son or his sonnes sonnes ready to giue an account able to stand in that iudgmeÌ„t for their faithfull Stewardship and dispensation of thy taleÌ„ts so abuÌ„dantly coÌ„mitted to them be to him O God in all disteÌ„pers of his body in all anxieties of spirit in all holy sadnesses of soule such a Phisician in thy proportion who art the greatest in heauen as hee hath bin in soule body to me in his proportioÌ„ who is the greatst vpon earth 9. Medicamina scribuÌ„t Vpon their Consultation they prescribe 9. MEDITATION THey haue seene me and heard mee arraign'd mee in these fetters and receiu'd the euidence I haue cut vp mine own Anatomy diffected my selfe and they
are gon to read vpon me O how manifold and perplexed a thing nay how wanton and various a thing is ruine and destruction God presented to Dauid three kinds War Famine and Pestilence Satan left out these and brought in fires froÌ„ heauen and windes from the wildernes If there were no ruine but sicknes wee see the Masters of that Art can scarce nuÌ„ber not name all sicknesses euery thing that disorders a faculty the function of that is a sicknesse The names wil not serue theÌ„ which are giuen froÌ„ the place affected the Plurisâ—â— is so nor from the effect which it works the falling sicknes is so they caÌ„not haue names ynow from what it does nor where it is but they must extort names froÌ„ what it is like what it resembles bâ—t in some one thing or els they would lack names for the Wolf and the Canker and the Polypus are so and that question whether there be more names or things is as perplexd in sicknesses as in any thing else except it be easily resolud vpon that side that there are more sicknesses theÌ„ names If ruine were reduc'd to that one way that Man could perish noway but by sicknes yet his danger were infinit and if sicknes were reduc'd to that one way that there were no sicknes but a feuer yet the way were infinite still for it would ouerlode oppress any naturall disorder and discompose any artificiall Memâ—ry to deliuer the names of seuerall Feuers how intricate a worke then haue they who arâ— gone to consult which of these sicknesses mine is and then which of these feuers and then what it would do and theÌ„ how it may be countermind But euen in ill it is a degree of good wheÌ„ the euil wil admit consultation In many diseases that which is but an accident but a symptom of the main disease is so violeÌ„t that the phisician must attend the cure of that though hee pretermiâ— so far as to intermiâ— the cure of the disease it self Is it not so in States too somtimes the insoleÌ„cy of those that are great put the people into commotions the great disease the greatest danger to the Head is the insolency of the great ones yet they execute Martial law they come to present executions vpoÌ„ the people whose commotion was indeed but a simptom but an accident of the maine disease but this symptom grown so violent wold allow no time for a consultatioÌ„ Is it not so in the accidents of the diseases of our mind too Is it not euidently so in our affections in our passions If a cholerick man be ready to strike must I goe about to purge his choler or to breake the blow But where there is room for consultatioÌ„ things are not desperate They consult so there is nothing rashly incoÌ„sideratly done and then they prescribe theâ— write so there is nothing couertly disguisedly vnavowedly done In bodily diseases it is not alwaies so sometimes assoon as the Phisicians foote is in the chamber his knife is in the patients arme the disease would not allow a minutes forbearing of blood nor prescribing of other remedies In States matter of gouernmeÌ„t it is so too they are somtimes surprizd with such accideÌ„ts as that the Magistrat asks not what may be done by law but does that which must necessarily be don in that case But it is a degree of good in euill a degree that caâ—ies hope coÌ„fort in it when we may haue râ—â—course to that which is written and that the proceedings may bee apert and ingenuous and candid and auowable for that giues satisfaction and acquiescence They who haue receiued my Anatomy of my selfe consult and end their consultatioÌ„ in prescribing and in prescribing Phisick proper and conuenient remedy for if they shold come in again and chide mee for some disorder that had occasion'd and inducd or that had hastned and exalted this sicknes or if they should begin to write now rules for my dyet and exercise when I were well this were to antidate or to postdate their Consultation not to giue phisick It were rather a vexation then a reliefe to tell a condemnd prisoner you might haue liu'd if you had done this if you can get your pardon you shal do wel to take this or this course hereafter I am glad they know I haue hid nothing from them glad they consult they hide nothing froÌ„ one another glad they write they hide nothing froÌ„ the world glad that they write and prescribe Phisick that there are remedies for the present case 9. EXPOSTVLATION My God my God allow me a iust indignation a holy detestation of the insoleÌ„cy of that Man who because he was of that high raÌ„ke of whoÌ„ thou hast said They are gods thought himselfe more then equall to thee That king of Aragon Alfonsus so perfit in the motions of the heauenly bodies as that hee aduentured to say That if he had bin of councell with thee in the making of the heauens the the heauens should haue bin disposed in a better order then they are The king Amasiah would not indure thy prophet to reprehend him but asked him in anger Art thou made of the kings councellâ— When thy Prophet Esaias askes that questioÌ„ who hath directed the spirit of the Lord or being his councellor hath tought him It is after hee had setled and determined that office vpon thy sonne and him onely wheÌ„ he ioyns with those great Titles The mighty God and the prince of peace this also the Councellor and after he had setled vpon him the spirit of might and of councell So that theÌ„ thou O God thogh thou haue no councell from Man yet doest nothing vpon man without councell In the making of Man there was a consultation let vs make man In the preseruing of Man O thou great preseruer 〈◊〉 men thou proceededst by councell for all thy externall workes are the workes of the whole Trinity and their hand is to euery action How much more must I apprehend that al you blesâ—sed glorious persons of the Trinitie are in Consultation now what you wil do with this in firm body with this leprous Soule that attends guiltily but yet comfortably your determination vpoÌ„ it I offer not to counsell them who meet in consultatioÌ„ for my body now but I open my inâ—â—rmities I anatomise my body to them So I do my soule to thee O my God in an huÌ„ble confession That there is no veine in mee that is not full of the bloud of thy Son whoÌ„ I haue crucified Crucified againe by multiplying many and often repeating the same sinnes that there is no Artery in me that hath not the spirit of error the spirit of lust the spirit of giddines in itâ— no bone in me that is not hardned with the custoâ—e of sin and nourished and soupled with the marrow of sinn no sinews no ligameÌ„ts that do not tie chain sin and
mention the Flea as the Viper because the Flea though hee kill none hee does all the harme hee can so euen these libellous and licentious Iesters vtter the venim they haue though sometimes vertue and alwaies power be a good Pigeon to draw this vapor from the Head and from doing any deadly harme there 12. EXPOSTVLATION MY God my God as thy seruant Iames when he asks that questioÌ„ what is your life prouides me my answere It is euen a vapor that appeareth for a little time then vanisheth away so if he did aske me what is your death I am prouided of my answere It is a vapor too And why should it not be all one to mee whether I liue or die if life and death be all one both a vapor Thou haâ—t made vapor so indifferent a thing as that thy Blessings and thy Iudgements are equally expressed by it and is made by thee the Hierogliphique of both Why should not that bee alwaies good by which thou hast declared thy plentifull goodnes to vs A vapor went vp from the Earth and watred the whole face of the ground And that by which thou hast imputed a goodnes to vs and wherein thou hast accepted our seruice to thee sacrifices for Sacrifices were vapors And in thâ—m it is said that a thicke cloude of incâ—nce went vp to thee So it is of that wherein thou comst to vs the dew of Heauen And of that wherein we come to theeâ— both are vapors And hee in whom we haue and are all that we are or haue teÌ„porally or spiritually thy blessed Son in the persoÌ„ of wisedome is called so to she is that is he is the vapor of the power of God and the pure influence froÌ„ the glory of the Almighty Hast thou Thou O my God perfumed vapor with thine own breath with so many sweet acceptations in thine own word and shall this vapor receiue an ill and infectious sense It must for since we haue displeased thee with that which is but vapor for what is sinne but a vapor but a smoke though such a smoke as takes away our sight and disables vs from seeing our danger it is iust that thou punish vs with vapoâ—s to For so thou dost as the Wiseman tels vs Thou canst punish vs by those things wherein wee offend thee as he hath expressed it there Bâ— beasts newly created breathing vapors Therefore that Commination of â—hine by thy Prophet I will shew wonders in the heauen and in the Earth bloud and fire and pillars of smoke â— thine Apostle who knewe thy meaning best calls vapors of smoke One Propheâ— presents thee in thy terriblenesse so There went out a smoke at his Nostrils and another the effect of thine anger so The house was filled with smoake And hee that continues his Prophesie as long as the world can continue describes the miseries of the latter times so Out of the bottomlesse pit arose a smoke that darkened the Sunne and out of that smoke came Locusts who had the power of Scorpions Now all smokes begin in fire all these will end so too The smoke of sin and of thy wrath will end in the fire of hell But hast thou afforded vs no means to euaporate these smokes to withdraw these vapors When thine Angels fell from heauen thou tookst into thy care the reparatioÌ„ of that place didst it by assuming by drawing vs thitherâ— when we fel from thee here in this world thou tookst into thy care the reparation of this place too and didst it by assuming vs another way by descending down to assume our nature in thy Son So that though our last act be an ascending to glory we shall ascend to the place of Angels yet our first act is to goe the way of thy Sonn descending and the way of thy blessed spirit too who descended in the Doue Therefore hast thou bin pleased to afford vs this remedy in Nature by this application of a Doue to our lower parts to make these vapors in our bodies to descend and to make that a type to vs that by the visitation of thy Spirit the vapors oâ— sin shall descend we tread them vnder our feet At the baptisme of thy Son the Doue descended at the exalting of thine Apostles to preach the same spirit desceÌ„ded Let vs draw down the vapors of our own pride our own wits our own wils our own inueÌ„tions to the simplicitie of thy Sacraments the obedience of thy word and these Doues thus applied shall make vs liue 12. PRAYER O Eternall and most gracious God who though thou haue suffred vs to destroy our selues hast not giuen vs the power of reparation in our sâ—lues hast yet afforded vs such meanes of reparation as may easily and familiarly be compassed by vs prosper I humbly beseech thee this means of bodily assistance in this thy ordinary creature and prosper thy meanes of spirituall assistance in thy holy ordinances And as thou hast caried this thy creature the Doue through all thy wayes through Nature and made it naturally proper to conduce medicinally to our bodily health Through the law and made it a sacrifice for sinne there and through the Gospel and made it thy spirit in it a witnes of thy sonnes baptisme there so carry it and the qualities of it home to my soule and imprint there that simpliciâ—y that mildnesse that harmelesnesse which thou hast imprinted by Nature in this Creature That so all vapours of all disobedience to thee being subdued vnder my feete I may in the power and triumphe of thy sonne treade victoriously vpon my graue and trample vpon the Lyon and Dragon that lye vnder it to deuoure me Thou O Lord by the Prophet callest the Doue the Doue of the Valleys but promisest that the Doue of the Valleyes shall bee vpon the Mountaine As thou hast layed mee low in this Valley of sickenesse so low as that I am made fit for that question asked in the field of bones Sonne of Man can these bones liue so in thy good time carry me vp to these Mountaynes of which euen in this Valley thou affordest mee a prospect the Mountain where thou dwellest the holy Hill vnto which none can ascend but hee that hath cleane hands which none can haue but by that one and that strong way of making them cleane in the blood of thy Sonne Christ Iesus Amen 13. Ingeniumque malum numeroso stigmate fassus Pellitur ad pectus Morbique Suburbia Morbus The Sicknes declares the infectionâ—â—nd malignity thereof 〈…〉 13. MEDITATION WEe say that the world is made of sea land as though they were equal but we know that ther is more sea in the Western theÌ„ in the Eastern Hemisphere â— We say that the Firmament is full of starres as though it were equally full but we know that there are more stars vnder the Northerne then
Seuenth day my Euerlasting Saboth in thy rest thâ— glory thy ioy thy sight thy sâ—lfe and where I shall liue as long without reckning any more Dayes after as thy Sonne and thy Holy Spirit liued with thee before you three made any Dayes in the Creation 14. PRAYER O Eternall and most gracious God who though thou didst permit darknesse to be before light in the Creation yet in the making of light didst so multiplie that light as that it enlightned not the day only but the night too though thou haue suffered some dimnesse some clouds of sadnesse disconsolatenesse to shed themselues vpon my soule I humbly blesse and thankfully glorifie thy holy name that thou hast afforded mee the light of thy spirit against which the prince of darkenesse cannot preuaile nor hinder his illumination of our darkest nights of our saddest thoughts Euen the visitation of thy most blessed Spirit vpon the blessed Virgin is called an ouershadowing There waâ— the presence of the Holy Ghost the fountaine of all light and yet an ouershadowing Nay except there were some light there could bee no shadow Let thy mercifull prouidence so gouerne all in this sicknesse that I neuer fall into vtter darknesse ignorance of thee or inconsideration of my selfe and let those shadowes which doe fall vpon mee faintnesses of Spirit and condemnations of my selfe bee ouercome by the power of thine irresistible light the God of consolation that when those shadowes haue done their office vpon mee to let me see that of my selfe I should fall into irrecouerable darknesse thy spirit may doe his office vpon those shadowes and disperse them and establish mee in so bright a day here as may bee a Criticall day to me a day wherein and whereby I may giue thy Iudgement vpon my selfe and that the words of thy sonne spoken to his Apostles may reflect vpon me Bâ—hold I am with you alwaies euen to the end of the world Intereà insomnes noctes Ego duco Diesque I sleepe not day nor night 15. MEDITATION NAturall Men haue coÌ„ceiued a two fold vse of sleepe That it is a refreshing of the body in this life That it is a preparing of the soule for the next That it is a feast and it is the Grace at that feast That it is our recreation and cheeres vs and it is our Catechisme and instructs vs wee lie downe in a hope that wee shall rise the stronger and we lie downe in a knowledge that wee may rise no more Sleepe is an Opiate which giues vs rest but such an Opiate as perchance being vnder it we shall wake no more But though naturall men who haue induced secondary and figuratiue considerations haue found out this second this emblematicall vse of sleepe that it should be a representation of death God who wrought and perfected his worke before Nature began for Nature was but his apprentice to learne in the first seuen daies and now is his foreman and works next vnder him God I say intended sleepe onely for the refreshing of man by bodily rest and not for a figure of death for he intended not death it selfe then But Man hauing induced death vpon himselfe God hath taken Mans Creature death into his hand and mended it and whereas it hath in it selfe a fearefull forme and aspect so that Man is afraid of his own Creature God presents it to him in a familiar in an assiduous in an agreeable and acceptable forme in sleepe that so when hee awakes from sleepe and saies to himselfe shall I bee no otherwise when I am dead than I was euen now when I was asleep hee may bee ashamed of his waking dreames and of his Melancholique fancying out a horâ—id and an affrightfull figure of that death which is so like sleepe As then wee need sleepe to liue out our threescore and ten yeeres so we need death to liue that life which we cannot out-liue And as death being our enemie God allowes vs to defend our selues against it for wee victuall ouâ— selues against death twice euery day as often as we eat so God hauing so sweetned death vnto vs as hee hath in sleepe wee put our selues into our Enemies hands once euery day so farre as sleepe is death and sleepe is as much death as meat is life This then is the misery of my sicknesse That death as it is produced from mee and is mine owne Creature is now before mine Eies but in that forme in which God hath mollified it to vs and made it acceptable in sleepe I cannot see it how many prisoners who haue euen hollowed themselues their graues vpon that Earth on which they haue lion long vnder heauie fetters yet at this houre are â—sleepe though they bee yet working vpon their owne graues by their owne waight hee that hath seene his friend die to day or knowes hee shall see it to morrow yet will sinke into a sleepe betweene I cannot and oh if I be entring now into Eternitie where there shall bee no more distinction of houres why is it al my businesse now to tell Clocks why is none of the heauinesse of my heart dispensed into mine Eie-lids â—hat they might fall as my heart doth And why since I haue loâ—t my delight in all obiects cannot I discontinue tâ—e facultie of seeing them by closing mine Eiâ—s in sleepe But why rather being entring into that presence where I shall wake continually and neuer sleepe more doe I not interpret my continuall waking here to bee a pâ—rasceue and a preparation to that 15. EXPOSTVLATION MY God my God I know for thou hast said it That he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleepe But shall not that Israel ouer whom thou watchest sleepe I know for thou hast said it that there are Men whose damnation sleepeth not but shall not they to whom thou art Saluation sleepe or wilt thou take from them that euidence and that testimony that they are thy Israel or thou their saluation Thou giuest thy beloued sleepe Shall I lacke that seale of thy loue You shall lie downe and none shall make you afraid shal I bee outlawd from that protection Ionas slept in one dangerous storme and thy blessed Sonne in another Shall I haue no vse no benefit no application of those great Examples Lord if hee sleepe he shall doe well say thy Sonnes Disciples to him of Lazarus And shall there bee no roome for that Argument in me or shall I bee open to the contrary If I sleepe not shall I not bee well in their sense Let me not O my God take this too precisely too literally There is that neither day nor night seeth sleepe with his eies saies thy wise seruant Solomon and whether hee speake that of worldly Men or of Men that seeke wisdome whether in iustification or condemnation of their watchfulnesse we can not tell wee can tâ—ll That there are men that cannot sleepe till they haue done mischiefe
feare of death that there was not a house where there was not one dead for therupon the Aegyptians said we are all deaâ— men the death of others should catechise vsâ— to death Thy Sonne Christ Iesus is the first begotten of the dead he rises first the eldest brother and he is my Master in this science of death but yet for mee I am a younger brother too to this Man who died now and to euery man whom I see or heare to die before mee and all they are vshers to mee in this schoole of death I take therefore that which thy seruant Dauids wife said to him to bee said to me If thou saue not thy life to night to morrow thou shalt bee slaine If the death of this man worke not vpon mee now I shall die worse than if thou hadst not afforded me this helpe for thou hast sent him in this bell to mee as thoâ— didst send to the Angelâ— of Sardis with commission to strengthen the things that remaine and that are ready to die that in this weaknes of body I mighâ— receiue spiritual strengâ—h by these occasions This is my strength that whether thou say to mee as thine Angell said to Gedeon Peace bee vnto thee feare not thou shalt not die or whether thou say as vnto Aaron Thou shalt die there yet thou wilâ— preserue that which is ready to die my soule from the worst death that of sinne Zimrie died for his sinnes saies thy Spirit which he sinned in doing euill and in his sinne which he did to make Israel sinne For his sinnes his many sinnes and then in his sinne his particular sinne for my sinnes I shall die whensoeuer I die for death is the wages of sinne but I shall die in my sinne in that particular sinne of resisting thy spirit if I apply not thy assistances Doth it not call vs to a particular consideration That thy blessed Sonne varies his forme of Commination and aggrauates it in the variation when hee saies to the Iewes because they refused the light offered you shall die in your sinne And then when they proceeded to farther disputations and vexations and tentations hee addes you shall die in your sinnes he multiplies the former expressing â—o a plurall In this sinne â— and in all your sinnes doth not the resisting of thy particular helps at last draw vpon vs the guiltinesse of all our former sinnes May not the neglecting of this sound ministred to mee in this mans death bring mee to that miserie as that I whom the Lord of life loued so as to die for me shall die and a Creature of mine owne shall be immortall â— that I shall die and the worme of mine owne conscience shall neuer die 18. PRAYER O Eternall and most gracious God I haue a new occasion of thanks and a new occasion of prayer to thee from the ringing of this bell Thou toldst me in the other voice that I was mortall and approaching to death In this I may heare thee say that I am dead in an irremediable in an irrecouerable state for bodily health If that bee thy language in this voice how infinitely am I bound to thy heauenly Maiestie for speaking so plainly vnto mee for euen that voice that I must die now is not the voice of a Iudge that speaks by way of condemnation but of a Physitian that presents health in that Thou presentest mee death as the cure of my disease not as the exaltation of it if I mistake thy voice herein if I ouer-runne thy pace and preuent thy hand and imagine death more instant vpon mee than thou hast bid him bee yet the voice belongs to me I am dead I was borne dead and from the first laying of these mud-walls in my conception they haue moldred away and the whole course of life is but an actiue death Whether this voice instruct mee that I am a dead man now or remember me that I haue been a dead man all this while I humbly thanke thee for speaking in this voice to my soule and I humâ—ly beseech thee also to â—ccept my prayers in his behalfe by whose occasion this voice this sound is come to mee â—or though hee bee by death transplanted to thee and so in possession of inexpressible happinesse there yet here vpon earth thou hast giuen vs such a portion of heauen as that though men dispute whether thy Saints in heauen doe know what we in earth in particular doe stand in need of yet without all disputation wee vpon earth doe know what thy Saints in heauen lacke yet for the consummation of their happinesse and therefore thou hast affoorded vs the dignitie that wee may pray for them That therefore this soule now newly departed to thy Kingdome may quickly returne to a ioâ—full reunion to that body which it hath left and that wee with it may soone enioy the full consummation of all in body and soule I humbly beg at thy hand O our most mercifull God for thy Sonne Christ Iesus sake That that blessed Sonne of thine may haue the comsummation of his dignitie by entring into his last office the office of a Iudge and may haue societie of humane bodies in heauen as well as hee hath had euer of soulesâ— And that as thou hatest sinne it selfe thy hate to sinne may bee expressed in the abolishing of all instruments of sinne The allurements of this world and the world it selfe and all the temporarie râ—uenges of sinne the stings of sicknesse and of death and all the castles and prisons and monuments of sinne in the graue That time may bee swallowed vp in Eternitie and hope swallowed in possession and ends swallowed in infinitenesse and all men ordained to saluation in body and soule bâ— one intire and euerlasting sacrifice to thee where thou mayest receiue delight from them and they glorie from thee for euermore Amen 19. Oceano tandem emenso aspicienda resurgit Terra vident iustis medici iam cocta mederi se posse indicijs At last the Physitians after a long and stormie voyage see land They haue so good signes of the conâ—oction of the disease as that they may safely proceed to purge 19. MEDITATION ALl this while the Physitians themselues haue beene patients patiently attending when they should see any land in this Sea any earth any cloud any indication of concoction in these waters Any disorder of mine any pretermission of theirs exalts the dâ—sease accelerates the rages of it no diligence accelerates the concoction the maturitie of the disease they must stay till the season of the sicknesse come and till it be ripened of it selfe and then they may put to their hand to gather it before it fall off but they cannot hasten the ripening Why should wee looke for it in a disease which is the disorder the discord the irregularitie the commotion and rebellion of the body It were scarce a disease if it could bee ordered and
who sees thâ—â— who fâ—â—rches those Rollsâ— whether I doe beleeue or no is it not therefore O my God that thou dost so frequently so earnestly referre vs to the hand to the obseruation of actions There is a little suspition a little imputation laid vpon ouer-tedious and dilatorie counsels Many good occasions slip away in long consultations and it may be a degree of sloth to be too long in mending nets though that must bee done He that obserueth the wind shall not saw and he that regardeth the â—â—ouds shall not reape that is he that is too dilatorie too superstitious â—n these obseruations and â—tudies but the excuse of his owne idlenesse in â—hem But that which â—he same wise and royall seruant of thine saies in â—n other place all accept â—nd aske no comment vpon it He becommeth poore that dealeth with a slacke handâ— but the hand of the diligent maketh rich All euill imputed to the absence all good attributed to the presence of the â—and I know my God and I blesse thy name for knowing itâ— for all good knowledge is from thee that thou considerest the heart but thou takest not off thine eie till thou come to the hand Nay my God doth not thy spirit intimate that thou beginnest where wee beginne at least that thou allowest vs to beginne there when thou orderest thine owne answer to thine owne question Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord Thus he that hath cleane hands and a pure heart Doest â—â—ou not at least send 〈◊〉 first to the hand â—nd is not the worke of â—heir hands that declaâ—â—tion of their holy zeale 〈◊〉 the present execution â—f manifest Idolatrers â—â—lled a consecration of â—â—emselues by thy holy â—pirit Their hands are â—alled all themselues for â—uen counsell it selfe goes â—nder that name in thy word who knowest best â—ow to giue right names â—ecause the counsell of the â—riests assisted Dauid Saul saies the hand of the Priest is with Dauidâ— And that which is often said by Moses is very often repeated by thy other Prophets These and these things the Lord spake and the Lord said and the Lord commanmanded not by the counsels not by the voice but by the hand of Moses and by the hand of the Prophets Euermore we are referred for our Euidence of others and of our selues to the hand to action to works There is something before it beleeuing and there is some thing after it suffering but in the most eminent and obuious and conspicuous place stands doing Why then O my God my blâ—ssâ—d God in the waies of my â—pirituall strength come â—l so slow to action I was whipped by thy rod before I came to consultation to consider my state and shall I goâ— no farther As hee that would describe a circle in paper if hee haue brought that circle within one inch of finishing yet if he remoue his compasse he cannot make iâ— vp a perfit circle excepâ— he fall to worke againe to finde out the samâ— center â— so though setting that foot of my compassâ— vpon thee I haue gonâ— so farre as to the consideration of my selfe yet iâ— I depart from thee my center all is vnperfitâ— This proceeding to action therefore is a returning to thee and a working vpon my selfe by thy Physicke by thy purgatiue physicke a free and entire euacuation of my soule by confession The working of purgatiue physicke is violent and contrary to Nature O Lord I decline not this potion of confession how euer it may bee contrary to a naturall man To take physâ—cke and not according to the right method is dangerous O Lord I decline not that method in this physicke in things that burthen my conscience to make my confession to him into whose hands thou hast put thâ— power of absolution â— know that Physicke may be made so pleasant as thaâ— it may easily be taken buâ— not so pleasant as the verâ—tue and nature of the meâ—dicine bee extinguished I know I am not subâ—mitted to such a confession as is a racke and torâ—ture of the Conscience but I know I am not exempt from all If it were meerely problematicall left meerely indifferent whether we should takâ— this Physicke vse thiâ— confession or no a great Physitian acknowledges this to haue beene his practise To minister many things which hee was not sure would doe good but neuer any other thing but such as hee was sure would doe no harme The vse of this spirituall Physicke can certainly doe no harme and the Church hath alwaies thought that it might and doubtlesse many humble soules haue found that it hath done them good I will therefore take the cup of Saluation and call vpon thy Name I will fill this Cup of compunction as full as I haue formerly filled the Cups of woâ—ldly confections that so I may scape the cup of Malediction and irrecouerable destruction that depends vpon that And since thy blessed and glorious Sonne being offered in the way to his Execution a Cup of Suâ—pefaction to take away the sense of his paine a charity afforded to condemned persons ordinarily in those places and times refused that ease and embraced the whole torment I take not this Cup but this vessell of mine owne sinnes into my contemplation and I powre them out here according to the Motions of thy holy Spirit and any where according to the ordinances of thy holy Church 20. PRAYER O Eternall and most gracious God who hauing married Man and Woman together and made them one flesh wouldest haue them also to become one soule so as that they might maintaine a simpathy in their affections and haue a conformity to one another in the accidents of this world good or bad so hauing married this soule and this body in me I humbly beseech thee that my soule may looke and make her vse of thy mercifull proceedings towards my bodily restitution goe the same way to a spirituall I am come by thy goodnesse to the vse of thine ordinary meanes for my body to wash away those peccant humors that endangered it I haue O Lord a Riuer in my body but a Sea in my soule and a Sea swoln into the depth of a Deluge aboue the Sea Thou hast raised vp certaine hils in me heretofore by which I might haue stood safe from these inundations of sin Euen our Naturall faculties are a hill and might preserue vs from some sinne Education study obseruation example are hills too and might preserue vs from some Thy Church and thy Word and thy Sacraments and thine Ordinances are hills aboue these thy Spirit of remorse and compunction repentance for former sin are hills too and to the â—op of all these hils thou hast brought mee heretofore but this Deluge this inundation is got aboue all my Hills and I haue sinned and sinned and multiplied sinne to sinne after all these thy assistances against sinne and where is there water enough to wash away
vs to the consideration of thy voice It is such a voice as that thy Sonne saies the dead shall hearâ— it and that 's my state â— And why O God doest thou not speake to meâ— in that effectuall loudnesse Saint Iohn heard a voice â—â—d hee turned about to see â—he voice sometimes we â—â—e too curious of the â—â—strument by what man â—od speakes but thou â—peakest loudest when â—hou speakest to the â—eart There was silence â—nd I heard a voice saies â—ne to thy seruant Iob. I â—earken after thy voice 〈◊〉 thine Ordinances and â— seeke not a whispering â—n Conuenticles but yet O my God speake louder â—hat so though I doe â—eare thee now then I may heare nothing but thee My sinnes crie aloud Cains murther diâ— so my afflictions criâ— aloud The flouds hauâ— lifted vp their voice anâ— waters are afflictions buâ—â—hou O Lord art mighâ—tier than the voice oâ— many waters than maâ—ny temporall many spiâ—rituall afflictions thaâ— any of either kinde and why doest thou noâ— speak to me in that voice What is man and whereto serueth he what is hiâ— good and what is his euill My bed of sinne is noâ— â—uill not desperatly euill for thou doest call mee out of it but my rising out of it is not good not perfitly good if thou call not louder and hold me now I am vp O my God I am afraid of a fearefull application of â—hose words when a man â—ath done then hee beginâ—eth when his body is vnable to sinne his sinfull memory sinnes ouer his old sinnes againe and that which thou wouldest haue vs to remember for coÌ„punction wee remember with delight Bring him to me in his bed that I may kill him saies Saul of Dauid Thou hast not said so that is not thy voice Ioasb his owne seruants slew him when hee was sicke in his bed Thou hast not â—uffered that that my seruants should so much as neglect mee or be wearie of mee in my sicknesse Thou threatnest that as a shepheard takes out of the mouth of the Lion two legs or a peecâ— of an eare so shall the children of Israel that â—well in Samaria in the corner of a bed and in Daâ—ascus in a couch bee taâ—en away That euen they that are secure from danger shall perish How much more might I who was in the bed of death die But thou hast not dealt so with mee As they brought out sicke persons in beds that thy seruant Peters shadow might ouer-shadow them Thou hast O my God ouer-shadowed mee refreshed mee But when wilt thou doe more when wilt thou doe all when wilt thou speake in thy loud voice when wilt thou bid mee take vp my bed and walke As my bed is my affections when shall I beare them so as to subdue them As my bed is my afflictions when shall I beare them so as not to murmure at them When shall I take vp my bed and walke not lie downe vpon it as it is my pleasure not sinke vnder it as it is my correction But O my God my God the God of all flesh and of all spirit too let me bee content with that in my â—ainting spirit which thou declarest in this decaied flesh that as this body is content to sit still that it may learne to stand and to learne by standing to walke and by walking to trauell so my soule by obeying this thy voice of rising may by a farther and farther growth of â—hy grace proceed so and bee so established as may remoue all suspitions all iealousies betweene thee and mee and may speake and heare in such a voice as that still I may bee acceptable to thee and satisfied from thee 21. PRAYER O Eternall and most gracious God who hast made little things to signifie great and conuaid the infinite merits of thy Sonne in the water of Baptisme and in the Bread and Wine of thy other Sacrament vnto vs receiue the sacrifice of my humble â—hanks that â—hou hast not onely afâ—orded mee the abilitie â—o rise out of this bed of wearinesse discomâ—ort â—ut hast also made this bodily rising by thy grace an earnest of a second resurrection from sinne and of a third to euerlasting glory Thy Sonne himselfe alwaies infinite in himselfe incapable â—f addition was yet pleased to grow in the Virgiâ—s wombe to grow in stature in the sight of men Thy good puâ—poses vpon mee I â—now haue their determination and perfection in thy holy will vpon mee there thy grace is and there I am altogether but manifest theÌ„â—o vnto me in thy seasons and in thy measures and degrees that I may not onely haue that comfort of knowing thee to be infinitely good but that also of finding thee to bee euery day better and better to mee and that as â—hou gauest Saint Paul â—he Messenger of Satan to humble him so for my â—umiliation thou maiest giue me thy selfe in this â—nowledge that what â—race soeuer thou afâ—ord mee to day yet I â—hould perish to morrow if I had not to morrowes grace too Therefore I begge of thee my daily bread and as thou gauest mee the bread of sorrow for many daies and since the bread of hope for some and this day the bread of possessing in rising by that strength which thou the God of all strength hast infused into me so O Lord continue to mee the bread of life the spirituall bread of life in a faithfull assurance in thee the sacramentall bread of life in a worthy receiuing of thee and the more reall bread of life in an euerlasting vnion to thee I know O Lord that when thou hadst created Angels and they saw thee produce fowle and fish and beasts and wormes they did not importune thee and say shall wee haue no better â—reatures than these no better companions than these but staid thy leisure and then had man deliuered ouer to them not much inferiour in nature to themselues No more doe I O God now that by thy first mercie I am able to rise importune thee for present confirmation of â—ealth nor now thaâ— by thy mercie I am brought to see that thy correction hath wrought medicinally vpon mee presume I vpon that spirituall strength I haue but as I acknowledge that my bodily strength is subiect to euery puâ—â—e of wind so is my spirituall strength to euery blast of vanitie Keepe me therefore still O my gracious God in such a proportion of both strengths as I may still hâ—â—e something to thanke thee for which I haue receiued still something to pray for and aske at thy hand â—â— Siâ— morbi fomes tibi cura â—he Physitians consider the root and occasion the embers and coales and fuell of the disease and seeke to purge or correct that â—2 MEDITATION HOw ruinous a farme hath man taken in â—aking himselfe how â—eady is the house eueâ—y day to fall downe and how is all the grounâ— ouer-spread with weeds â— all the