at all no being such empty huskes as these was I then fed with yet not a whit nourished 3. But thou my Love after whom I pine that I may gather the more strength art not these bodies which we see though froÌ„ heaven appearing nor art thou any of those which wee see not there for all those hast thou created nor yet in these chiefest pieces of thy workmanship art thou farre absent How farre then art thou from those fond fantasies of mine the phantasies of those bodies which have at all no being than which the Images of those bodies which have reall existence are farre more certaine and yet the bodies themselves more certaine than their owne Images yet these bodies thou art not No nor yet art thou the Soule which is the life of those bodies though better and more certaine be the life of those bodies than the bodies themselves are But thou art the life of soules the life of lives yea the very living life itselfe nor art thou altered O life of my soule Where therefore how neere wert thou then unto me and how far from me Very far verily had I stragled from thee being even barr'd from the huskes of those swine whom with huskes I was set to feed How much better then are those fables of the Poets and Grammarians than these fooletraps For their Verses and Poems and Medea flying are more profitable surely than these mens Five elements odly devised to answer the Five Dens of darknesse which have at all no being and which slay the beleever For verses and Poems I verily can referre to the true Elements But Medea flying although I charted sometimes yet I maintaind not the truth of and though I heard it sung I beleeved it not But these phantasies I throughly beleeved 4. Alas alas by what degrees was I brought into the very bottome of hell when as toyling and tunnoyling my selfe through want of Truth I sought after thee my GOD to thee I now confesse it who hadst mercy on me when I had not yet confessed not according to the understanding of the minde wherein thou madest mee excell the beasts but according to the sense of the flesh But thou at the same time wert more inward to me than my most inward part and superiour then unto my supremest I chanced upon that bold woman who is simple and knoweth nothing that subtilty in Salomon sitting at the doore of her house and saying Eate yee bread of secrecies willingly and drinke yee stolne waters which are sweete This harlot seduced me because she found my soule without doores dwelling in the eye of my flesh and chewing the cud by my selfe upon such bayts as through her inticement I had devoured CHAP. 7. The absurd doctrine of the Manichees 1. FOr I knew not that there was any other truth and was as it were through mine owne sharpe wit perswaded to give my consent to those foolish deceivers when they put these questions to me Whence cometh evill and whether God were made up in a bodily shape and had haires and nayles and whether those were to be esteemed righteous men who had many wives at once and did kill men and offered sacrifices of living creatures At which things ignorant I was much troubled and while I went quite from the truth I seemed to my selfe to be making towards it because I yet knew not how that evill was nothing else but a privation of good having of it selfe at all no being Which how should I come to see whose sight pierced no further than to a Body with mine eyes and with my soule no deeper than to a meere phantasie 2. Nor did I yet know God to be a Spirit who hath not any parts extended in length and breadth or whose Being was to bee a bulke for that every bulke is lesser in his part than in his whole and if it be infinite it must needs be lesse in some part that is limited in a certaine space than that which is not limited and cannot so bee wholly every where as a spirit as God is And which part in us that should be by which we were like to God and how rightly in the Scriptures we may be said to be made after the Image of God I was altogether ignorant Nor was yet acquainted with that true and inward righteousnesse which judgeth not according to custome but out of the most rightfull Law of God Almighty by which the fashions of severall places and times were so desposed as was fittest both for those times and places it selfe in the meane time being The same alwaies and every where not another thing in another place nor otherwise upon another occasion According to which righteousnesse both Abraham and Isaac and Iacob and Moses were righteous yea and all those other commended by the mouth of GOD but they were judged unrighteous by unskilfull people judging out of humane judgment and measuring all mankinde in generall by the model of their owne customes just as iâ— in an Armory a man being ignorant what peice were appointed for what part should clap a boote upon his head draw an headpeice upon his leg and then murmur because they would not fit him or as if upon some â—â— day when the course of Iustice 〈◊〉 publikely forbidden in the afternoone a shopkeeper should stomacke at it that he may not have leave to sell his wares which it was lawfull for him to doe it the forenoone or when in some house he observeth some servant to passe that kinde of businesâ— through his hands which the Butcher is not suffered to medle withall or some thing done behinde the stable which is forbidden in the dyning-roome or as if he should bee angry that where there is one dwelling house and one family the same equality of distribution is not observed every where and to all alike in it 3. Of the same humor bee those who are fretted to heare something to have beene lawfull for righteous men in the former age which is not so for just men now adayes And because GOD commanded them one thingthen and these an other thing now for certaine temporall respects and yet those of both ages to be servants to the same righteousnesse whereas they may observe that in one man and in one day and in one house one thing to bee fit enough for one member and one thing to bee lawfull now which an hower hence is not so and some thing to be permitted or commanded in one corner which is forbidden and punished in another Is Iustice thereupon various or mutable No but the times rather in which Iustice governes are not like one another for they are times But men now whose life is but short upon the earth for that in their owne apprehensions they are not able to compare together the causes of those former ages and of other nations which they have had no experience of with these which they have had experience of
are from thee taught so by this one most firme demonstration that they are Of these things I was certaine enough yet too too weake to comprehend thee I prated altogether like a skilfull Fellow but had I not sought thy way in Christ our Saviour I had not proved a skilfull man but a lost man For now forsooth I beganne to be desirous to seeme wise full of mine owne punishment yet could not weepe for it but became more and more puffed up with my knowledge 2. For where was that charity that should build mee up from that foundation of humility which is in Christ Iesus or when would these bookes have taught me that Yet upon these I beleeve it was thy pleasure that I should first fall before I tooke thy Scriptures into my consideration that I might print in memory how far those Bookes wrought upon my affections and that when afterwards I should come to bee made tractable by thy Bookes thine own fingers undertaking the cure of me and my wounds dressed I might discerne at last and distinguish how maine a difference there was betwixt Presumption and Confession betwixt those that saw whither they were to goe but knew nothing of the way and that path which leades unto that blessed Countrey not to be lookt upon onely but dwelt in For had I first been brought up in thy holy Scriptures and in the familiar use of them thy selfe had grown sweet unto me and falne upon these Philosophicall volumes afterwards they might eyther have withdrawne me from the sollid ground of piety or if I had stood firme in that wholsome disposition which I had there tasted I might perchance have thought that a man even out of these Platonike bookes might have gotten the same had he studied them onely CHAP. 21. What he found in the holy Scriptures which was not in the Platonists 1. MOst greedily therefore laid I hold upon that venerable stile of thy Spirit and upon the Apostle Paul above all the rest Whereupon those difficulties quite vanished away in which hee sometimes seemed unto mee to contradict himselfe and wherein the Text of his discourse seemed not to agree with the testimonies of the Law and the Prophets And there appeared unto me that one face of that chaste Eloquence and I learned to rejoyce with trembling I set upon it and found whatsoever I there read to be true These things to the praise of thy Grace I there learned that he which sees may not so glory as if he had not received not that onely which hee does see but also that which he may see For what hath hee which hee hath not received Yea both that hee may be put in minde not onely to see thee who art ever the same but that he may be made strong to hold thee and that he who from a farre off is not able to see his way may yet walke on to the end he may at last arrive and see and comprehend For though a man be delighted with the Law of God after the inner man yet how shall he doe with that other Law in his members which warres against the Law of his minde and bringeth him into captivity to the Law of sin which is in his members For thou art righteous O Lord but we have sinned and committed iniquity and thy hand is growne heavy upon us â—and we are justly delivered over unto that old Sinner the President of death for he hath wrought our will to become like his will whereby he departed from thy Truth 2. What shall wretched man doe who shall deliver him from the body of this death but only thy Grace through Iesus Christ our Lord whom thou hast begotten coeternall to thy selfe and possessedst in the beginning of thy waies in whom the prince of this world found nothing worthy of death yet kild he him whereby the hand-writing was blotted out which was contrary to us None of all this doe these Platonike writings containe Those leaves can shew nothing of this face of peitie those teares of confession that sacrifice of thine a troubled spirit a broken and a contrite heart the salvation of thy people the Spouse the City the earnest of the Holy Ghost the Cup of our Redemption No man sings there Shall not my soule waite upon God seeing from him commeth my salvation For he is my God and my salvation my defence I shall not be greatly moved 2. No man in those Bookes heares him calling Come unto me all yee that labour yea they scorne to learne of him because he is meeke and lowly inheart For these things hast thou hid from the wise and prudent and hast revealed themunto babes For it is one thing from the wilde top of a Mountaine to see the Land of Peace and not to find the way thither and in vaine to travell through wayes unpassable round about beset with these fugitive Spirits forsakers of their God lying in ambush with that Ring-leader of theirs the Lion and the Dragon and another thing to keep on the way that leades thither which is guarded by the care of our heavenly Generall where they exercise no robberies that forsooke the heavenly Armie which they abhorre as much as their very torment These things did by wonderfull meanes sinke into my very bowels when as I read that least of thy Apostles and had considered upon thy workes and trembled * ⎠* SAINT AVGVSTINES Confessions THE EIGHTH BOOKE CHAP. 1. How being inflamed with the love of heavenly things hee goeth to Simplicianus GIve me leave O my God with Thanksgiving to remember confesse unto thee thine owne mercies bestowed upon me Let my bones be filled with thy love and let them say unto thee Who is like unto thee O Lord thou hast broken my bonds in sunder I will offer unto thee the sacrifice of thanksgiving And how thou hast broken them will I now declare and all men who worship thee when they heare of it shall say Blessed bee the Lord both in Heaven and in Earth great and wonderfull is his Name Thy words had stucke fast even to the very roots of my heart and I was hedged round about by thee Of the eternity of thy life I was now become certaine though I had no more than seene it in a glasse as it were darkely All my former doubtings concerning an incorruptible substance from which all other substance should derive its being was now quite taken away from me nor did I desire as now to bee made more certaine of thee but better assured in thee As for mine owne temporall life all things were as yet unresolved my heart was to be purged from the old leaven The way our Saviour himselfe I very well liked oft but it iâ—ked me to follow him through those streâ—ghts which he had passed 2. Thous didst put into my minde and it seemed good in mine owne eyes to goe unto Simplicianus
forgiue her trespasses what-euer shee hath drawne vpon her selfe in so many yeeres since her cleansing by the water of baptisme forgiue her Lord forgiue her I beseech thee enter not into iudgement with her but let thy mercy bee exalted aboue thy iustice and that because thy words are true and thou hast promised mercy vnto the mercifull which that people might bee is thy gift to them who wilt haue mercy on whome thou wilt haue mercy and wilt shew deeds of mercy vnto whom thou hast been mercifully inclined And I now beleeue that thou hast already done what I request of thee but take in good part O Lord these voluntary petitions of my mouth 3. For shee the day of her dissolution being at hand tooke no thought to haue her body sumptuously wound vp or imbalmed with spices nor was she ambitious of any choyce monument or cared to bee buried in her owne Country These things shee gaue vs no command for but desired only to haue her name commemorated at thy Altar which shee had serued without intermission of one day from whence she knew that holy Sacrifice to bee dispensed by which that Hand-writing that was against vs is blotted out through which Sacrifice the Enemy was triumphed ouer he who summing vp our offences and seeking for something to lay to our charge sound nothing in Him in whom wee are conquerours Who shall restore vnto him his innocent blood who shall repay him the price with which hee bought vs and so bee able to take vs out of his hands vnto the Sacrament of which price of our redemption this handmaid of thine had bound her owne soule by the bond of fayth 4. Let none plucke her away from thy protection let neyther the Lyon nor the Dragon interpose himselfe by force or fraud For shee will not answere that shee owes nothing lest she bee disprooued and gotten the better of by her crafty accuser but she will answer how that her sins are forgiuen her by him vnto whome none is able to repay that price which hee layd downe for vs who owed nothing Let her rest therefore in peace together with her husband before or after whom shee had neuer any whom shee obeyed through patience bringing forth fruit vnto thee that shee might winne him vnto thee And inspire O Lord my God inspire thy seruants my brethren thy sonnes my masters whom with voyce and heart and pen I serue that so many of them as shall reade these Confessions may at thy Altar remember Monica thy handmayd together with Patricius her sometimes husband by whose bodies thou broughtest mee into this life though how I know not May they with deuout affection be mindefull of these parents of mine in this transitory light and of my brethren that are vnder thee our Father in our Catholicke Mother and of those who are to be my fellow Citizens in that eternall Ierusalem which thy people here in their pilgrimage so sigh after euen from their birth vnto their returne thither That so what my mother in her last words desired of me may the more plentifully bee performed for her in the prayers of many as well by meanes of my Confessions as of my prayers The end of the Ninth Booke Saint Agustines Confessions The tenth Booke CHAP. 1. The Confessions of the heart 1 LEt mee know Thee O Lord who knowest mee let me know thee as I am knowne of thee O thou the vertue of my soule make thy entrance into it and so fit it for thy selfe that thou mayst haue and hold it without spotte or wrinkle This is my hope and therefore doe I now speake and in this hope doe I reioyce when at all I reioyce As for other things of this life they deserue so much the lesse to bee lamented by how much the more wee doe lament them and againe so much the more to bee lamented by how much the lesse we doe lament them For behold thou hast loued truth and hee that does so commeth to the light This will I publish before thee in the confession of my heart and in my writing before many witnesses CHAP. 2. Secret things are knowne to God 1. ANd from thee O Lord vnto whose eyes the bottome of mans Conscience is layd bare what can bee hidden in mee though I would not confesse it For so should I hide thee from mee not my selfe from thee But now for that my groaning is witnesse for mee that I am displeased with my selfe thou shinest out vnto mee and art pleasing to me yea desired and beloued of mee and I will bee ashamed of my selfe yea I will renounce mine owne selfe and make choyce of thee and neuer may I please thee nor my selfe but in thee 2. Vnto thee therefore O Lord am I layd open what euer I am and with what fruit I may Confesse vnto thee I haue before spoken Nor doe I it with words and speeches of the body but with the expressions of my very soule and the crye of my thoughts which thy care onely vnderstandeth For when I am wicked then to confesse vnto thee is no other thing but to displease my selfe but when I am well giuen to confesse vnto thee is then no other thing but not to attribute this goodnesse vnto my selfe because it is thou O Lord that blessest the Iust but first thou iustifiest him being wicked My Confession therefore O my God in thy sight is made vnto thee priuately and yet not priuately for in respect of noyse it is silent but yet it cryes alowd in respect of my affection For neither doe I vtter any thing that is right vnto men which thy selfe hath not before heard from mee nor caust thou heare any such thing from me which thy selfe hath not first sayd vnto me CHAP. 3. The Confession of our ill deeds what it helpes vs. 1. VVHat therefore haue I to doe with men that they should heare my Confessions as if they could cure all my infirmities A curious people to pry into another mans life but slothfull enough to amend their owne Why doe they desire to heare from me what I am who will not heare from thee what themselues are And how know they whenas they heare my selfe confessing of myselfe whether I say true or no seeing none knowes what is in man but the spirit of man which is in him But if they heare from thee any thing concerning themselues they cannot say The Lord lyeth For what els is it from thee to heare of themselues but to know themselues and who is hee that knowing himselfe can say It is false vnlesse himselfe lyes But because Charity beleeueth all things that is to say amongst those whom by knitting vnto it selfe it maketh one I therefore O Lord doe so also confesse vnto thee as that men may heare to whom though I be not able to demonstrate whether I confesse truely yet giue they credit vnto mee whose eares charitie hath set
therefore to bee deluded For they being high-minded haue sought thee in the pride of their learning strutting out rather then knocking vp on their brests and so by the agreement of their heart haue they drawne vnto themselues the Princes of the Ayre their fellow conspirators in pride by whom through the force of Magick they were decerued euen while they sought for a Mediator by whom they might bee purged but there was none to be found For the diuel it was transfiguring now himselfe into an Angel of light 2. Many wayes therefore was hee able to entice proud flesh for that him selfe was not of any fleshly body For fleshly men were mortall and sinnefulli but thou Lord to whom they this proud way sought to be reconciled art immortall and without sinne A mediator now betweene God and man must haue something like vnto God and something like vnto men lest that being like vnto man in both natures he should be too farre vnlike God or if like vnto God in both natures hee should be too farre vnlike vnto men and so be a Mediator neyther way That deceitfull Mediator therfore by whom in thy secret iudgement mans pride deserued to be deluded hath one thing indeed common with himselfe to men and that 's Sinne and desires to seem to communicate in another thing with God that because hee is not cloathed with any mortality of flesh he might thereby vaunt himselfe to bee immortall But for that the wages of sin is death this hath he common to himselfe with men for which he might together with them â—â— condemned vnto death CHAP. 43. Christ onely in the all-sufficient Intercessor 1. BVt the true Mediator whom out of thy secret mercy thou hast shewed forth vnto the humble and whom thou sentest that by his example they might learne the true humility that Mediator therefore betweene God and man the man Christ Iesus appeared betwixt mortall sinners and the immortall Iust One being mortall as men and iust like God that because the reward of righteousnesse is life and peace hee might by his righteousnesse which was ioyned to God make voyd the death of as many of the wicked as were by him iustified which death his will was to haue common both to them and him Hee was shewed forth vnto Holy men of old to the intent that they might be saued through sayth in his passion to come like as wee are through sayth of it already passed For how farre-forth he was a man so far-forth was hee a Mediator but so farre-forth as he is the Word hee is not meerely midway to God because he is equall vnto God and God with God together with the Holy Ghost one God 2. How hast thou loued vs O good Father that hast not spared thine onely Sonne but hast deliuered him vnto death for vs wicked men how hast thou loued vs for whom Hee that thought it no robbery to bee equall with God was made subiect vnto death euen the death of the crosse hee that was onely free among the dead that had power to lay downe his life and power to take it againe for vs was hee vnto thee both the Conquerour and the Sacrifice yea and therefore the Conquerour because the Sacrifice for vs was hee vnto thee both Priest and Sacrifice and therefore the Priest because the Sacrifice of slaues making vs thy children by being borne of thee and by becomming a seruant vnto vs. Deseruedly therefore is my hope strongly setled vpon him that thou wilt by him cure all my infirmities euen by him that sits at thy right hand and maketh intercession for vs whereas otherwise I should despaire vtterly For many and great are those infirmities of mine yea many they are and great but thy medicine is more soueraigne 3. Imagine we might that thy Word was farre enough from being vnited with man and so despayre of our selues vnlesse It had beene made flesh and dwelt amongst vs. Affrighted thus with mine owne sinnes the burthen of mine owne misery I cast these thoughts in my heart bethinking my selfe of fleeing into the Wildernesse but thou for baddest me and strengthenedst mee saying Therefore Christ dyed for all that they which liue may now no longer liue vnto themselues but vnto him that dyed for them See Lord I hence forth cast all my care vpon thee that I may liue and consider the wonderfull things of thy law Thou knowest both my vnskilfulnesse and my infirmities Oh teach me and heale mee That onely Sonne of thine in whom are hid all the treasures of wisdome and knowledge hath redeemed mee with his blood Let not the proud speake euill of mee now for that I meditate vpon the price of my redemption and do eate drink and giue vnto the poore and being poore my selfe desire to be filled by him amongst those that eate and are satisfied and they shall praise the Lord who seeke him The end of the tenth Booke Saint Augustines Confessions The eleuenth Booke CHAP. 1. Why we confesse vnto God who knowes all CAnst thou that art the Lord of all eternity be ignorant of what I say vnto thee or doest thou see but for a time that which passeth in time To what end then doe I lay in order before thee so many â—arrations not to this end doe I it that thou mightest come to know them vpon my relation but there by to stirre vp mine owne and my Readers deuotions towards thee that wee may say all together Great is the Lord and greatly to be praised Now haue I sayd and againe say it I will For the loue of thy loue make I this Confession For we vse to pray also and yet Truth it selfe hath sayd Your Father knoweth what you haue neede of before you aske T is our affection therefore which wee hereby lay open vnto thee while wee confesse our owne miseries and thy mercies vpon vs that thou mightest thorowly set vs free seeing already thou hast begun to make vs leaue to bee wretched in our selues and to be happy in thee seeing thou hast called vs that wee may become poore in spirit and meeke and mournfull and bungry and thirsty after righteousnesse and mercifull and pure in heart and peace-makers See I haue told thee many things such as I could and such I was desirous to doe because thou desirest first that I should confesse vnto my Lord God For thou art good and that thy mercy endureth for euer CHAP. 2. He sueth to be deliuered from his sinnes and errors and to bee guided vnto the true knowledge 1. BVt when shall I bee able with the pen of my tongue to set forth all thy Exhortations and all thy terrors and comforts and directions by which thou hast brought mee vp to bee a Preacher of thy Werd and a Dispencer of thy Sacrament vnto thy people If I now bee able to declare these things to thee in order the very
I beseech thee and in the manifestation thereof let me with sobriety continue vnder thy wings Thou toldest mee also with a strong voyce O Lord in mine inner care how that t is thy selfe selfe who made all those Natures and substances which are not what thy selfe is and which yet haue their being and how that onely is not from thee which hath no being no nor the Will that slydes backe from thee that art eminently vnto that which hath an inferior being because that all such backeslyding is transgression and sinne and that no mans sinne does eyther hurt thee or disturbe the order of thy gouernment first or last All this is in thy sight now cleare vnto mee and let it bee so more and more I beseech thee and in the manifestation thereof let mee soberly continue vnder thy wings 2. With a strong voyce thou toldest mee likewise in mine inner care how that neyther is that creature coeternall vnto thy selfe whose desire thou onely art which with a most perseuering chastity greedily drinking thee in does in no place and at no time put off its naturall mutability and thy selfe being euer present withit vnto whom with its whole affection it kepes it selfe it hauing neyther any thing in future to expect nor conueying any thing which it remembreth into the time past is neyther altered by any change nor stretcht along into any times O blessed creature if any such there bee euen for cleauing so fast vnto thy blessednesse blest in thee the eternall Inhabitant and Enlightener thereof Nor doe I find what I am more glad to call the Heauen of heauens which is the Lords then thine owne House which still contemplating that delight which in thee it finds without any forsaking thee to goe into other a most pure mind most peacefully continuing one by that settled estate of peace of those holy spirits those Citizens of thy Citty in heauenly places which are farre wes that it is not here meant of the aboue those heauenly places that we see By this now may the Soule vnderstand how farre shee is cast off by her owne straggling if namely she now thirsts after thee if her owne teares be now become her bread while they daily say vnto her Where is now thy God If she now seekes thee alone and require this one thing that shee may dwell in thy house all the dayes of her life 3. And what is her life but thou And what are thy dayes but euen thy eternity like as thy yeeres are which fayle not because thou art euer the same Hereby therefore let the Soule that is able vnderstand how farre thou art aboue all times eternall seeing that thy very house which hath at no time departed from thee although it be not coeternall vnto thee yet by continually and inseparably cleauing vnto thee suffers not the least changeablenesse of Times All this is cleare vnto me in thy sight and more and more let it bee so I be seech thee and in the manifestation thereof let mee abide vnder thy wings 4. There is behold I know not what vnshapednesse in the alterations of these last made and lowest creatures and who shall tell mee what vnlesse such a one as through the emptynesse of his owne heart wanders and tosses himselfe vp and downe with his owne fancies Who now but euen such a one would tell mee That if all figure bee so wasted and consumed away as that there onely remaines vnshapelynesse by which the thing was changed and turned out of one figure into another that that were able to shew vnto vs the changeable courses of the Times Playnely it can neuer doe it because without the variety of motions there are no times and there is no variety where there is no forms CHAP. 12. Of two creatures not within compasso of time 1. THese things considred for as much as thou giuest O my God for as much as thou stirrest mee vp to knock and forasmuch as thou openest to me when I knock two things I finde that thou hast made not within the compasse of times notwithstanding that neyther of them bee coeternall with thy selfe One which is so formed as that without any ceasing to contemplate thee without any interruption of change though in it selfe it bee changeable yet hauing beene neuer changed it may thorowly for euer enioy thy eternity and vnchangeablenesse The other was so vnshapely as that it had wherewithall to be changed out of one forme into another eyther of motion or of station whereby it might become subiect vnto time But this thou didst not leaue thus vnshapely because before all dayes thou in the beginning didst create Heauen Earth the two things that I spake of 2. And the Earth was inuisible and without shape and darknesse was vpon the Deepe In which words is the vnshapelynesse noted vnto vs that such capacities may hereby bee drawne on by degrees as are not able to conceiue so vtter a priuatiō of all the forme of it as should not yet come so low as a meere nothing out of which another Heauen was to bee created together with a visible earth a well furnished and the Waters replenished with their kinds and whatsoeuer beside is in the setting foorth of the world recorded to haue beene not without dayes created and that because they are of such a nature that the successiue changes of times haue power ouer them by reason of their appoynted alterations of motions and of formes CHAP. 13. The nature of the Heauen of heauens described 1. THis O my God is my priuate iudgement in the meane time whenas I heare thy Scripture saying In the beginning God made Heauen and Earth and the Earth was without shape and voyd and darkenes was vpon the deepe and not once mentioning what day thou createdst them This I in the mean time iudge to bee spoken because of the Heauen of heauens that intellectuall Heauen where to vnderstand is to know all at once not in part not darkly not through a glasse but in whole clearely and face to face not this thing now and that thing anon but as I sayd know all at once without all succession of times and I iudge it spoken also because of that inuisible and voyd Earth exempted in like manner from all interchangeablenesse of times which vses to haue this thing now and anon that the reason is that where there is not any figure there can bee no variety of this or that Because of these two that One first formed vtterly vnperfected Heauen meaning the Heauen of heauens and this other earth meaning the inuisible and shapelesse earth because of these two as I iudge in the meane time did thy Scripture speake without mention of any dayes In the beginning God created Heauen and Earth seeing presently hee added what earth hee spake of and because also the Firmament being recorded to bee created the second day and called
other things they say thou neuer at all madest them nor euer so much as ioynedst them together instancing in all kinds of flesh and in all sorts of these smaller creatures and whatsoeuer thing hath its roote in the earth but that a certaine minde at enmity with thee and another nature which thou createdst not and which was contrary vnâ—o thee did in these lower stages of the world beget and fiame these things Mad men are they to affirme thus because they looke not vpon thy workes by the Spirit neyther doe they know thee in them CHAP. 31. The Godly allow that which is pleasing to God 1. BVt whosoeuer by Thy Spirit discernes these things t is Thou that discernest in them Therefore when they see that these things are good Thou seest that they are good and what soeuer for thy sake giues content t is Thou that giuest content in it and what by meanes of thy Spirit please vs they please Thee in vs. For what man knoweth the things of a man saue the Spirit of a man which is in him euen so the things of God knoweth no man but the Spirit of God Now we sayth he haue receiued not the Spirit of the world but the Spirit which is of God that wee might know the things that are freely giuen to vs of God I am here upon put in minde still to say That the things of God knoweth no man but the Spirit of God how then can we know what things are giuen vs of God Answere is made me That those things which we know by his Spirit no man in that manner knoweth them but the Spirit of God For as it is rightly sayd vnto those that were to speake by the Spirit It is not you that speake so is it as rightly sayd to them that Know through the Spirit of God It is not you that know Neuer the lesse therfore as it is rightly sayd to those that See through the Spirit of God It is not you that see so what soeuer through the spirit of God they see to bee good t is not they but God that sees that it is good 2. T is one thing therefore for a man to think that to be ill which indeed is good as the forenamed Manichees doe and another thing that what is good a man should see to be so because indeed it is so Euen iust as thy creatures be pleasing vnto diuers because they be good whom for all that Thou Thy selfe doest not please in those creatures so that rather had they inioy them then Thee Yea and another thing it is That when a man sees any thing that it is good t is God that sees in him that it is good and that to this end playnly That himselfe might be loued in his creature for he should neuer be loued but by the Holy Ghost which he hath giuen Because the loue of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is giuen vnto vs by whom we see that a thing is good whatsoeuer any way hath any Essence For from him it Is who Himselfe Is not by any way that other things are but originally of himselfe IS what he IS CHAP. 32. He briefely summes vp the works of God 1. THanks to Thee O Lord. Wee behold the Heauen and the Earth be it eyther the corporeall part superior and inferior or the Spirituall and corporeall creature and in the adorning of these integrall parts of which the vniuersall pile of this world and the whole creation together doth consist wee see light made and deuided from the darknes we see the Firmament of heauen or that which between the spirituall vpper waters â—â— the Inferior corporeall waters is the first compact body oâ— the world next aboue this space of Ayre which it selfe is also stiled heauen through which wander the fowles of heauen euen betwixt those waters which are in vapors lifted vp aboue it and which in cleare nights distill downe in dew again and those heauier waters which runne thorow and vpon the Earth 2. We behold a face of waters gathered together in those fields of the Sea and the dry land both vnfurnished and replenisht that it might be visible and fully shaped yea the matter of herbs Trees We behold the lights shining froÌ„ aboue the Sunne to serue the day the Moone the Starres to â—heate the night and in all these the seuerall Seasons to be marked out and signified We behold on all sides a kindly moisture blessed with abilitie to be fruitfull in fishes beasts and birds and that the grossenesse of the Ayre which beares vp the flights of Birds thickneth it selfe by the Exhalation of the waters 3. We behold the face of the Earth deckt vp with earthly creatures and Man created after Thine own Image and likenesse euen for that Image and likenesse sake that is the power of Reason and vnderstanding made superior to all vnreasonable creatures And like as in his soule ther is one power which beares rule by directing and another nature made subiect that it might obey euen so verily was there a woman made who in the mind of her reasonable vnderstanding should haue a parity of nature w th the man but in the sexe of her body should be in like manner subiect to the sexe of her husband as the appetite of doing is fayne to conceiue the skill of Right doing euen from the rationall direction of the vnderstanding These things wee behold and they are all seuerally good and altogether very good CHAP. 33. How euery creature ought to prayse the Creator 1. LEt all thy works praise Thee that wee may loue Thee yea let vs loue Thee and let all Thy works praise Thee euen those which from Time haue their beginning and their ending their rysing and their falling their growth and their decaying their forme and their priuation They haue therefore their succession of morning and euening part insensibly and paâ—tly more apparantly for they were of nothing made by thy power not of Thy substance not of any thing that is not thine nor of any thing that was before but of a matter concreated that is All at once created by Thee because that into that matter which was without forme and voyd Thou didst introduce a Forme without any distance of time betweene For seeing the matter of Heauen and Earth is one thing and the forme of Heauen and Earth is another thing Thou madest the matter of meerely nothing but the forme of the world Thou producedst out of the vnformed matter yet madest both matter and forme so iust at one instant that the forme should follow the matter without any respite of delay betweene CHAP. 34. Of the order and various fruit of a Christian life 1. VVE haue also lookt into this After whose patterne desirest thou to haue these things made in this order or described in this method And wee haue seene That all things are good
that I was yet unripe for instruction for that I was yet puft up with the new taken-in heresie and that I had already troubled divers unskilfull persons with spurring of questions to them as she had already told him but let him alone a while saith he onely pray to God for him he will of himselfe by reading find his owne mistake and how great his impiety is 2. The Bishop then up and told her how himselfe when hee was a little one had been by his seduced mother commited to the Manichees and how he had not onely read over almost all but also coppied out their books and that it appeared to him without the helpe of any man to dispute against or convince it how much that sect was to be avoyded and how of himselfe therefore he had forsaken it Which words when he had spoken and she would not yet be satisfied but pressed more upon him what with intreating and what with weeping that he would be pleased to see me and discourse with me he a little displeased at her tedious importunity Goe thy wayes saith he and God blesse thee for it is not possible that the sonne of these teares should miscarry Which answer shee then tooke as she often remembred in our familiar discourse afterwards as if an oracle had resounded from heaven SAINT AVGVSTINES Confessions THE FOVRTH BOOKE CHAP. 1. How long and what wayes hee seduced others FOr the space of nine yeeres then that is from the nineteenth yeere of mine ago to the eight and twentieth wee were seduced our selves and others we seduced deceived and deceiving in divers lusts and in publike we did it by those Arts which are called liberall but in private we still peretended the assumed name of Religion Here were we proud there superstitious every where vayne still hunting after the empty noyse of popular reputation even affecting those The atricall hummings and applauses and those contentious strifes of wit and to gaine the grassy garlands the vanity of shewing our selves upon the stage and the intemperancy of ambition But much desiring then to purge our selves from these our naturall corruptions by the helpe of those who were called elect and holy wee carried them certayne chosen meates out of which in the workehouse of their owne paunches they should forge certaine Angels and Gods by whom we were to bee cleansed These things did I then follow these things did I then practise with my friends who were deceived by me and with me 2. Let such deride me now who are arrogant and not yet savingly cast downe nor broken in heart by thee O my GOD but I for all this doe here confesse mine owne shame to thee in thy prayse Suffer me I beseech thee and give me grace to runne over in my present remembrance the errors of my forepassed time and to offer up unto thee the sacrifice of rejoycing For what am I without thee but a guide to mine owne downefall or what am I even at the best but an infant sucking thy milke and feeding upon thee the food incorruptible But what kind of thing is any man seeing at the best he is but a man Let now the strong and the mighty laugh at us but let us weake and needy soules ever confesse unto thee CHAP. 2. Hee teaches Rhetoricke and despiseth a wizard who promised him the victory 1. I Taught in those yeeres the Art of Rhetoricke and my selfe being overcome with a desire of gaine made sale of a loquâ—city to overcome others by Yet I desired rather Lord thou knowest to have honest schollers as they are now adayes accounted and those without all deceipt I taught how to deceive not that I would have them plead against the life of any innocent person though sometimes to save the life of the nocent And thou O God from afarre perceivedst me falling in that slippery course in much smoke sparkling out some small faith which I then made show of in that Schoole-mastership of mine to those that loved vanity and becomming the companion to those that sought a lye In those dayes I kept a Mistresse whom I knew carnally not in that lawfull way of marriage but the way found out by wandring lust utterly voyd of understanding yet had I but that one towards whom I truly kept the promise of the Bed in whom I might by mine owne example learne experience what difference there would be betwixt the knot of the marriage-covenant mutually consented unto for the desire of children and the bargaine of a lustfull love where though children be against our wils begotten yet being borne they even compell us to love them 2. I remember once that when I had a minde to put forth my selfe for the prize in a Theatricall Poeme I was demanded by I know not what wizard what I would give him to be assured to winne the garland but I detesting and abhorring such filthy compacts returnd him answer That though the garland were immortall and of gold yet would I not suffer a flye to lose it's life to gaine me the better of it For he was to kill certaine living creatures in those his sacrifices and by those honours to invite the Divels to favour me in the peoples acclamations But this ill meanes I refused not out of any chast reservation towards thee O God of my heart for then knew I not how to love thee who knew not how to thinke on any thing but certaine Corporeall Glories And did not my soule panting after such fond fictions commit fornication against thee trust in false hopes and feed upon the wind But I would not forsooth that hee should doe sacrifice to the Divells for me and yet did I my selfe offer unto them even by that my superstition For to feed upon the wind what is it else but to feed them that is by our owne errours to make our selves the subjects of their pleasure and derision CHAP. 3. Giving himselfe to Astrologie he is reclaimed by an ancient Physician 1. THose Star-gazers therefore whom they stile Mathematicians I verily did not forbeare to consult with and that because they used no sacrifice not directed their prayers to any Spirit to speed their Divinations and yet doth Christian and true piety consequently refuse and condemne that Art For it is a good thing to confesse unto thee and to say Have mercie upon me heale my soule for I have sinned against thee and not to abuse thy kindnesse for a liberty of sinning but to remember our Lords warning Behold thou art made whole sinne no more lest a worse thing come unto thee All which wholsome advice they endevour to overthrow that say The cause of thy sinne is inevitably determined in heaven and that Man flesh and blood and proud corruption be kept without sinne is of Venus doing forsooth or Saturne or Mars procur'd it meane while the Creator of Heaven and Starres beares the blame of it And who is
when 't is from thee then is it strength but when 't is of our selves then is it weaknes indeed Our good still lives with thee from which because wee are averse therefore are we perverse Let us now at last O Lord returne that wee doe not overturne because with thee our Good lives without any defect which Good thou art We shall not need to feare finding a place to returne unto because we fell headlong from it for howâ—ever wee have beene long absent from thence yet that house of ours shall not fall downe and that 's thy Eternity * ⎠* SAINT AVGVSTINES Confessions THE FIFTH BOOKE CHAP. 1. Hee stirres up his owne soule to praise God REceive heere the Sacrifice of my Confessions from the hand of my Tongue which thou hast formed and stirred up to confesse unto thy Name Heale thou all my bones and let them say O Lord who is like unto thee For neither does a man teach thee what is done within himselfe when he confesses to thee seeing a closed heart shuts not out thy eye nor can mans hard-heartednesse thrust backe thy hand for thou openest it when thou pleasest either out of pitty or justice to us and there is nothing can hide it selfe from thy heate But let my soule praise thee that it may love thee and let it confesse thine owne mercies to thee that it may praise thee No creature of thine is slacke or silent in thy praises nor the spirit of any man by the praises of his mouth converted to thee no nor yet any animall or corporeall creature by the mouthes of those that well consider of them that so our soule may towards thee rowze it selfe up from wearines leaning it selfe on those things which thou hast created and passing over to thy selfe who hast made them so wonderfully where refreshment and true fortitude is CHAP. 2. Gods presence can no man avoid seeing he is every where 1. LEt unquiet and naughty people now run and flee from thee as fast as they will yet thou seest them well enough and canst distinguish of shaddowes And behold all seemes gay to them meane while themselves be deformed And what wrong have they done thee by it or how have they disparaged thy government which from the highest heaven to this lowest earth is most just and perfect But whither are they fled when they fled from thy presence Or in what corner shalt not thou finde them out But runne away that they might not see thee who well sawest them that being thus blindfolded they might stumble upon thee because thou forsakest nothing that thou hast made that the unjust I say might stumble upon thee and be justly vexed by it withdrawing themselves from thy lenity and stumbling at thy justice fall foule upon thy severity Little know they in truth that thou art every where whom no place incompasses and that thou alone art ever neere even to those that set themselves furthest from thee 2. Let them therefore be turned backe and seeke thee because as they have forsaken thee their Creator thou hast not so given over thy Creature Let them bee converted that they may seeke thee and behold thou art there in their heart in the heart of those that confesse to thee and that cast themselves upon thee and that powre forth their teares in thy bosome after all their tedious wandrings Then shalt thou most gently wipe away their teares that they may weepe the more yea and delight in their weeping even for that thou Lord and not any man of flesh and blood but thou Lord who madest them canst refresh and comfort them But whereabouts was I when I sought after thee Thou wert directly before mee but I had gone backe from thee nor did I then finde my selfe much lesse thee CHAP. 3. Of Faustus the Manichee and of Astrologie 1. LEt mee lay open before my GOD that nine and twentieth yeere of mine Age. There came in those dayes unto Carthage a certaine Bishop of the Manichees Faustus by name a great snare of the Divell he was and many were intangled by him in that ginne of his smooth Language which though my selfe did much commend in him yet was I able to discerne betwixt it and the truth of those things which I then was earnest to learne nor had I an eye so much to the curious Dish of Oratory as what substance of Science their so famous Faustus set before me to feed upon Report had before-hand highly spoken him to me as that hee was a most knowing man in all honest points of Learning and exquisitely skilled in all the liberall Sciences 2. And for that I had sometimes read many bookes of the Philosophers and had fresh in memory much of theirs I presently fell to compare some points of theirs to those soule fables of the Manichees and those things verily which the Philosophers had taught who could onely prevaile so far as to make judgement of this lower world though the Lord of it they could by no meanes finde out seem'd farre more probable unto mee For great art thou O Lord and hast respect unto the humble but the proud thou beholdest afarre off Nor doest thou draw neere but to the contrite in heart nor art thou found by those that bee proud no not though they had the curious skill to number the Starres and the sand and to quarter out the houses of the heavenly Constellations and to find out the courses of the Planets For with their Vnderstanding and Wit which thou bestowedst on them doe they search out these things yea they have found out and foretold many a yeere before the Eclipses of the lights of the Sunne and Moone what day and what howre and how many Digits they should bee so nor hath their calculation faild them and just thus came all to passe as they foretold and they committed to writing the Rules found out by them which are read this day and out of them doe others foretell in what yeere and moneth of the yeere and what day of the moneth and what howre of the day and what part of it's light the Moone or Sunne is to be Eclipsed and so it shall come to passe as it is foreshewed 3. At these things men wonder and are astonished that know not this Art and they that doe know it triumph and are extolled and our of a wicked pride turning backe from thee failing thereby of thy light they foresee an Eclipse of the Sunne so long beforehand but perceive not their owne which they suffer in the present For they enquire not religiously enough from whence they are enabled with the wit to seeke all this withall and finding that 't is thou that made them they resigne not themselves up unto thee that thou mayst preserve what thou hast made and that they may kill in sacrifice unto thee what they have made themselves to be and slay their owne exalted imaginations like as the fowles of the ayre and their owne
much said shee to me But to thee O Fountaine of mercies powred shee forth more frequent prayers teares that thou wouldest hasten thy helpe and enlighten my darknesse that I might more studiously runne unto the Church and settle my beleefe vpon Ambrose his Preaching and desire the Fountaine of that Water which springeth up into Life ever lasting For that man shee loved as an Angell of GOD because shee presumed most assuredly that I had beene brought by him in the meane time to that doubtfull state of faith I was now in by which I was to passe from sicknesse unto health some sharper conflict comming betweene in another Fit as it were which the Physicians call The Crisis CHAP. 2. His Mother is turned from her Countrey Superstition 1. VVHen as my Mother therefore had one time brought unto the Oratories erected in memory of the Saints as she was wont to doe in Africke certaine Cheese-cakes and Bread and VVine and had beene forbidden to doe it by the Sexton so soone as ever she knew that the Bishop had forbidden this shee did so piously and obediently embrace the motion that I my selfe wondred at it that she should so easily be brought rather to blame her owne Countrey custome than to call the present countermand in question For Wine-bibbing besotted not her spirit nor did the love of Wine provoke her to the hatred of the Truth as it doth too many both men and women who being a little whittled once turne the stomacke to a song of sobriety as they would doe at a draught of water But she when she had brought her basket of these solemne lunkets which she meant to eat a little of first and to give the rest away never used to allow herselfe above one small pot of Wine well allayed with water for her owne sober palate whence she would sippe a mannerly draught And if there were any more Oratories of the departed Saints that seemed to be honoured in like maner shee still carried the selfe-same pot about with her which she used every where which should not onely below allayed with water but very lukewarme with carrying about and this would shee distribute to those that were about her by small sups for she came to those places to seeke devotion and not pleasure 2. So soone therefore as shee found this custome to be countermanded by that famous Preacher and the most pious Prelate Ambrose yea forbidden even to those that would use it but soberly that so no occasion of ryot might thereby bee given to such as loved drinking too well and for that these funerall Anniversary Feasts as it were in honour of our dead Fathers did too neerely resemble the superstition of the Gentiles she most willingly forbare it ever after and in stead of a Basket filled with the fruits of the earth she now had learned to present a breast replenished with sinne-purging petitions at the Oratories of the Martyrs and to give away what shee could spare among the poore that so the Cōmunion of the Lords Body might in that place bee rightly celebrated where after the example of his Passion these Martyrs had bin sacrificed and crowned 3. But for all this it seemes to me O Lord my God and thus thinks my heart of it in thy sight That my Mother would not so easily have give way to the breaking of her Countrey custome had it bin forbidden her by some other man whom she had not loved so well as she did Ambrose who in regard of my salvation she very entirely affected and he bergaing as well for her most religious conversation whereby s◠full of good workes so servent in the spirit she frequented the Church Yea so well he affected 〈◊〉 that hee would very often when he saw mee breake forth into her praises congratulating with me in that I had such a Mother little knowing in the meane time what a sonne she had of me who doubted of all these things and least of all imagined the way to life could possibly be found out CHAP. 3. The employments and studies of S. Ambrose 1. NOr did I hitherto grone in my prayers that thou wouldest helpe me but my unquiet minde was altogether intentive to seeke for Learning and to dispute upon it As for Ambrose himselfe I esteemed him a very happy man according to the world whom personages of such authority so much honoured onely his remaining a 〈◊〉 seemed a painefull course unto mee But what hopes hee carried about him against the temptations his excellent parts were subject unto what struglings he felt and what comfort hee found in his adversities and how savourie joyes that mouth hidden in his heart fed upon in thy Bread I neither knew how to ghesse at nor had I yet any feeling of As little on the other side knew hee of my privie heats nor of the pit of my danger For I had not the opportunity to make my demands to him what I would or how I would for that multitudes of people full of businesse whose infirmities hee gave up himselfe unto debarred me both from hearing and speaking with him With whom when he was not taken up which was but a little time together hee either refreshed his body with necessary sustenance or his minde with reading But when he was reading hee drew his eyes along over the leaves and his heart searcht into the sense but his voice and tongue were altogether silent 2. Oft-times when we were present for no man was debarred of comming to him nor was it his fashion to be told of any body that came to speake with him we still saw him reading to himselfe and never otherwise so that having long sate in silence for who durst be so bold as to interrupt him so intentive to his study wee were faine to depart We conjectured that the small time which he gate for the repairing of his minde hee retyred himselfe from the clamour of other mens businesses being unwilling to be taken off for any other imployment and he was warie perchance too left some hearer being strucke into suspence and eager upon it if the Author he read should deliver any thing obscurely hee should be put to it to expound it or to discusse some of the harder questions so that spending away his time about this worke hee could not turne over so many Volumes as he desired although peradventure the preserving of his voice which a little speaking would weaken might bee a just reason for his reading to himselfe But with what intent soever he did it that man certainely had a good meaning in it 3. But verily no opportunity could I obtaine of propounding my demands as I desired to that so holy an Oracle of thine his breast unlesse the thing might be heard very briefly But those commorions in me required to finde him at his best leasure that I might powre them out before him but never could they finde him so Yet heard
I him every Sunday preaching the Word of Truth rightly to the People by which that apprehension of mine was more and more confirmed in me that all those knots of crafty calumnies which those our deceivers had knit in prejudice of the Holy Bookes might well enough bee untyed 4. But so soone as I understood withall That Man created by thee after thine owne Image was not so understood by thy spirituall sonnes whom of our Catholike Mother thou hast begotten by thy Grace as if they once beleeved or imagined thee to be made up into an humane shape although I had not the least suspicion nor so much as a confused notion in what strange manner a spirituall substance should be yet blushing did I rejoyce that I had not so many yeeres barkt against the Catholike faith but against the fictions of carnall imaginations But herein had I beene rash and anpious that what I ought to have learned by enquirie I had spoken of as condemning For thou O the most high and the most neere the most secret and yet most present with us hast not such limbes of which some be bigger and some smalâ—â—â— but art wholly every where circumscribed in no certaine place nor art thou like these corporeall shapes yet hast thou made man after thine owne Image and behold from head to foot is he contained in some certaine biding CHAP. 4. Of the Letter and the Spirit 1. BEing thus ignorant therfore in what manner this Image of thine should subsist I something earnestly propounded the doubt how that was to be 〈◊〉 but did not triumphingâ—y oppose against it as if it peremptorily should according to the Letter bee beleeved The anxiety therefore of resolving what certaintie I was to hold did so much the more sharply even gnaw my very bowels by how much the more ashamed I was that having bin so long deceived by the promise of certaineties I had with a childish errour and stubbornnes prated up and downe of so many uncertainties and that as confidently as if they had beene certainties For that they were meere falshoods it cleerely appeared to me afterwards yea even already was I certaine that they were at least uncertaine and that I had all this while beleeved them for certaine when as namely out of a blinde and contentious humour I accused thy Catholike Church which though I had not yet found to 〈◊〉 trâ—â—â— yet found it not â—o teach what I heartily 〈◊〉 it for teaching In this manner was I first confounded and then converted and I much rejoyced O my God that thy onely Church the body of thine onely Sonne wherein the name of Christ had beene put upon me being yet an Infant did not relish these childish toyes nor maintained any such Tenet in her sound Doctrine as to crowd up the Creator of this All under the shape of humane members into any proportions of a place which though never so great and so large should yet be terminated and surrounded 2. And for this I rejoyced also for that the Old Scriptures of the Law the Prophets were laid before me now to be perused not with that eye to which they seemed most absurd before when as I misliked thy holy ones for thinking so so whereas indeed they thought not so and for that with joyfull heart I heard Ambrose in his Sermons to the people most diligently oftentimes recommend this Text for a Rule unto them The letter killeth but the Spirit giveth life and for that those things which taken according to the letter seemed to teach perverse doctrines he spiritually laid open unto us having taken off the veyle of the mystery teaching nothing in it that offended mee though such things he taught as I knew not as yet whether they were true or no. For I all this while kept my heart firme from assenting to any thing fearing to fall headlong but by this hanging in suspence I was the worse killed for my whole desire was to be made so well assured of those things which I saw not as I was certaine that seven and three make tenne 3. For I was not so mad yet as not to thinke that this last proposition might not by demonstration bee comprehended wherefore I desired to have other things as cleerely demonstrated as this whether namely those things should bee corporeall which were not present before my senses or spirituall whereof I knew not yet how to conceive but after a corporeall manner But by beleeving might I have beene cured that so the eye-sight of my soule being cleered might some way or other have beene directed toward thy truth which is the same eternally and in no point fayling But as it happens usually to him that having had experience of a bad Physician is fearefull afterwards to trust himselfe with a good so was it with the state of my soule which could no waies be healed but by beleeving and left it should beleeve falshoods it refused to be cured resisting in the meane time thy hands who hast prepared for us the Medicines of faith and hast applyed them to the diseases of the whole world and given unto them so great Authority CHAP. 5. Of the Authority and necessary vse of the holy Bible 1. FRom henceforth therfore I beganne first of all to esteeme better of the Catheâ—â—â— Doctrine and also to thinke that â—e did with more modesty and without any deceit command many things to be beleeved notwithstanding it were not there demonstrated 〈◊〉 what it should be or to what purpose it should serve nor yet what it should not bee than in the Manichees doctrine upon a rash promise of great knowledge expose my easinesse of beliefe first of all unto derision and suffer afterwards so many most fabulous and absurd things to be therefore imposed upon me to beleeve because they could not be demonstrated Next of all thou Lord by little and little with a gentle and most mercifull hand working and rectifying my heart even while I tooke into my consideration how innumerable things I otherwise beleeved which I had never scene nor was present at while they were in doing like as those many reports in the History of severall Nations those many relations of places and of Cities which I had never seene so many reports likewise of friends so many of Physicians so many of these and these men which unlesse wee should beleeve we should doe nothing at all in this life Last of all I considered with how unalterable an assurance I beleeved of what parents I was descended which I could not otherwise come to know had I not beleeved it upon heare-say perswadedst mee at last that not they who beleeved thy Bible which with so great authority thou hast setled almost among all Nations but those who beleeved it not were to bee blamed nor were those men to bee listned unto who would say perchance How knowest thou those Scriptures to have beene imparted unto mankinde by the spirit
chastity unlesse thou give it And that thou verily wouldest give it if with cordiall gronings I did knocke at thine eares and with a settled faith did cast my cares upon thee CHAP. 12. A Contention betwixt Alipius and Augustine about Marriage and single life ALipius indeede was the man that kept mee from marrying of a Wife alledging That by no meanes could wee enjoy so much undistracted leasure as to live together in the love of Wisedome as wee long since had desired should I take that course For he himselfe was so chaste that way that it was a wonder to see for he had made tryall of that Act in the beginning of his youth but having not ingaged himselfe by it hee was sorry for it rather and despised it living from that time untill this present most continently For my part I opposed him with the examples of such men as in the state of Matrimonie had professed wisedome and were acceptable unto God and conversed faithfully and lovingly with their acquaintances of the greatnesse of whose spirit I was far enough short Thus I delighted with the disease of the flesh and with the deadly sweetnesse of it drew my shackles along with me much afraid to have them knockt off and as if my wound had been too hard rub'd by it I put backe his good perswasions as it were the hand of one that would unchaine me 2. Moreover even by mee did the Serpent speake unto Alipius preparing and laying by my tongue most pleasurable snares in his way in which his honest and yet free feet might be intangled For when as hee much admired at me whom he slightly esteemed not of for sticking so fast in the birdlime of that pleasure as resolutely to affirme so oft as wee had speech about it that I could by no meanes lead a single life and that I used this for an argument when I saw him so much wonder at the matter That there was a great deale of difference betwixt the pleasure which hee had tryed by stealth and snatches which he scarce now remembred and might easily therefore despise and the delights of my daily lying at it unto which might but the honest name of Marriage be added he would not wonder then why I had not the power to contemne that course of living even he beganne to desire to be married not as if overcome with the lust of so poore a pleasure as all out of a curiosity for hee desired as hee said to know what manner of content that should be without which my life which was to him so great contentment seemed not a life so much as a punishment unto me 3. For his mind that was free as yet from that clogge stood amazed at my thraldome and out of that amazement hee proceeded to an itch of trying likely enough to have come to the experience of it and from the bare experience to fall perchance into that bondage hee in me so much admired at seeing he was so willing to enter into a Covenant with death for He that loves danger shall fall into it For the conjugall honour if any there be in the office of well ordering the duties of a married life and of having of children moved us but little But that which for the most part did most violently afflict me already made a slave to it was the custome of satisfying an insatiable lust but him that was hereafter to be inslaved did an admiration skrew up to it In this case we continued untill thou O most high not forsaking our lowlinesse having compassion of us that stood in neede of it didst at length fetch us off by admirable and secret devices CHAP. 13. Augustine layes out for a Wife 1. AND much adoe there was to get mee a Wife Now went I a wooing and then was the Wench promised mee my Mother taking most paines to beat the bargaine her purpose in it being that when I were married once the wholsome water of Baptisme might cleanse me towards which she much rejoyced to see mee daily fitting my selfe observing that all her owne desires and thy promises were to be fulfilled in my imbracing of the Faith At which time verily both by mine owne intreaties and her desires and that with strong cryes of our hearts did we daily begge of thee that thou wouldest vouchsafe by some vision to discover something unto her concerning my future marriage but thou wouldest never doe it 2. Yet saw shee indeed certaine vaine and phantasticall overtures such as the earnestnesse of her spirit so busied about this matter drew together These she told me of not yet with that confidence she was wont when thy selfe afforded any visions unto her but slighting them as it were For she could as she said through I know not what relish she had which in words she could not expresse easily enough discern how much difference there was betwixt thy Revelations and the dreames of her owne spirit Yet went wee forward earnestly and the parents good-will was asked but the Maid wanted two yeeres of being marriageable Yet for that I had a good liking to her I was content to stay so long for her CHAP. 14. A new Plot laid and broken 1. AND wee were many friends of us which debated of the matter who conferring about the detesting these turbulent molestations of a worldly life had now resolved that sequestring our selves from company to live retiredly and to lay this ground for our retirememt that what stocke every man was able to make wee should put together and make one houshold of al that through the plaine-dealing of a common friendship one thing should not be this mans and another thing that mans but what stocke should be made up out of every mans particular should in the whole belong unto the interest of every single person and all together unto all in generall It seemed to us that there might neere be some ten persons in this kinde of Academy some of which were very rich men and Romanianus especially our Townes-man from his Childehood a very familiar friend of mine whom the hot pursuit of his businesse had brought up to Court who was most earnest of all the rest for this project and therin was his voice of great authority and that because his estate was much fairer than any of the rest 2. And we had set it downe that two Officers should bee yeerely chosen for the making of necessary provisions whilest the rest were quiet But so soone as we beganne to consider better of it whether our Wives which some of us already had and others resolved to have shortly would endure all this or no all that so well laid plot fell to peeces in our hands was utterly dasht and cast aside Thence return'd we again to our old sighings and gronings and wandrings and to our former following those broad and beaten wayes of the world for that many thoughts were in our heart but thy counsaile standeth for ever
changeable mind of mine And thus by degrees passing from bodies to the soule which makes use of the senses of the body to perceive by and from thence to its inner faculties unto which the senses of the body are to represent their outward objects and so forward as farre as the irrationall creatures are able to goe Thence againe passed I on to the Reasoning facultie unto which whatever is received from the senses of the body is referred to bee judged 2. This also finding it selfe to be variable in me betooke it selfe towards its owne understanding drawing away my thoughts from my old fleshly custome and withdrawing it selfe from those confused multitudes of phantasies which contradict one another that so it might find out that light which it now had a glimpse of presently upon the finding whereof without all further doubting it cryed out that what was unchangeable was to be preferred before what was changeable by which it had come to know that unchangeable Which unlesse by some meanes or other it had knowne it could never have had sure ground for the preferring of it before the Changeable nor have come so high as that which is set within hence of the twinckling eye-sight And now came I to have a sight of those invisible things of thee which are understood by those things which are made But I was not able to fixe mine eye long upon them but my infirmity being beaten backe againe I was turned to my wonted fancies carrying along with me no more but a liking of those new thoughts in my memory and an appetite as it were to the meat I had smelt which as yet I was not able to eate of CHAP. 18. Onely Christ is the way to Salvation 1. THen set I my selfe to seeke a meanes of recovering so much strength as should bee sufficient to enjoy thee but I could not finde it untill I embraced that Mediator betwixt God and man the Man Iesus Christ who is over all God blessed for evermore then calling unto me and saying I am the way the truth and the life who mingled that food which I was unable to take his owne flesh unto ouâ— flesh For the Word was made flesh that by thy wisedome by which thou createdst â— things hee might sackle oâ—â— infancy For I not yet humbled enough did not appreheâ— my Lord Iesus Christ who haâ— made himselfe humble nor did I yet know what lesson that infirmity of his would teach us For thy Word the eternall truth being so highly exalted above the highest of thy Creatures reaches up those that were cast downe unto it selfe having here below built for it selfe a lowly Cottage of our clay by which hee intended to abase from the height of their owne imaginations those that were to be cast downe that so hee might bring them about unto himselfe allaying the swelling of their pride and cherishing of their love To the end they might goe on no further in the confidence of themselves but might finde their owne weaknesse rather seeing the Divinity it selfe enfeebled at our feete by taking our fleshly garment upon him that so being weary at length they might cast downe their selves selves upon it and that rising might raise up them together with it CHAP. 19. What he thought of Christs incarnation 1. BVt I had before farre other thoughts conceiving onely of my Lord Christ as of a man of excellent wisedome whom no man could bee equalled unto and in this regard especially for that being so wonderfully borne of a Virgine giving us an example how to contemne worldly things for the obtaining of immortality that divine care of his seemed to have deserved so much authority as to be the Master over us But what Mystery this might carry with it The Word was made flesh I could not so much as imagine Thus much I collected out of what is come to us being written of him how that he did eate and drinke and sleepe and walkt and rejoyced in spirit and was heavy and preached that flesh alone did not cleave unto thy Word but our humane soule and minde also with it Every body knowes thus much that knoweth the unchangeablenesse of thy Word which I my selfe now knew as well as I could nor did I at all make any doubt of it For for him to move the limbes of his body by his will and other-whiles not to move them now to be stirred by some affection and at another time not to bee affected now to deliver wise sentences and another while to keepe silence all these be properties of a soule and mind that are mutable And should these things be falsely written of him all the rest verily would be in suspicion of being a lye nor should there be left at all in those Bookes any safenesse of Faith for mankinde 2. Because therefore none but Truths are there written I even then acknowledged a perfect man to bee in Christ Not the body of a man onely a sensitive soule without a rationall but a very man whom not onely for his being a person of Truth but for a certaine extraordinary excellency of humane nature that was in him I judged worthy to be preferred before all other men As for Alipius hee imagined the Catholikes to have beleeved God to be so cloathed with flesh that besides God and flesh there was no soule at all in Christ and that they had preached there was no soule of man in him And because hee was verily perswaded that those Actions which were recorded of him could not bee performed but by a vitall and a rationall Creature he was the slower therefore in moving towards the Christian Faith But understanding afterwards that this was the errour of the Apollinarian Heretikes hee was better pleased with the Catholike faith and better complyed with it But something later it was I confesse ere I learned how in this sentence The Word was made flesh the Catholike Truth could be cleered of the heresie of Photinus For the confuting of the Heretikes makes the opinion of thy Church more eminent and the Tenet which the sound doctrine maintaineth For there must be also Heresies that they which are approved may bee made manifest among the weake CHAP. 20. Of divers Bookes of the Platonists 1. BVt having read as then these Bookes of the Platonists having once gotten the hint from them and falling upon the search of incorporeall truth I came to get a sight of these invisible things of thine which are understood by those things which are made and being put backe againe I perceived how that the darknesse of mine own mind was it which so hindred my contemplation as that I was not suffered to bee certaine That thou were both infinite and yet not diffused over finite and infinite places and that thou art truely the same that thou art ever nor in any part nor by any motion otherwise at one time than at another and that all other things
kindly to mee call'd mee a dutyfull Child remembring with great affection of loue how that shee neuer heard any harsh word or reproachfull tearme to come out of my mouth against her But for all this O my God that madest vs both what comparison is there betwixt that honour that I performe to her and that carefull painefulnesse of hers to mee Because therefore I was left thus destitute of so great a comfort was my very soule wounded yea and my life torne in pieces as it were which had beene made one out of hers and mine together 3 That boy now being stilled from weeping Euodius tooke vp the Psalter and began to sing the whole house answering him the 101 Psalme I will sing of mercy and iudgement vnto thee O Lord. But when it was once heard what we were a doing there came together very many Brethren and religious women and whilest they whose office it was were as the manner is taking order for the buriall my selfe in a part of the house where most conueniently I could together with those who thought it not fit to leaue mee discoursed vpon something which I thought fittest for the time by applying of which playster of truth did I asswage that inward torment knowne onely vnto thy selfe though not by them perceiued who very attentiuely listning vnto me conceiued me to be without all sense of sorrow But in thy eares where none of them ouer heard me did I blame the weakenesse of my passion and refraine my flood of grieuing which giuing way a little vnto mee did for all that breake forth with his wonted violence vpon me though not so far as to burst out into teares nor to any great change of countenance yet know I well enough what I kept downe in my heart And for that it very much offended me that these human respects had such power ouer mee which must in their due order and out of the Fatality of our naturall condition of necessity come to passe I condoled mine owne sorrow with a new grieuing being by this meanes afflicted with a double sorrow 4. And behold when as the Corps was carried to the Burial we both went returned without teares For neither in those Prayers which we powred forth vnto Thee whenas the Sacrifice of our Redemption was offered vp vnto thee for her the Corps standing by the Graues side before it was put into the ground as the manner there is did I so much as shed a teare all the Prayer time yet was I most grieuously sad in secrete and with a troubled minde did I begge of thee so well as I could that thou wouldst mitigate my sorrow which for all that thou diddest not recommending I beleeue vnto my memory by this one experiment That the too strict bond of all humane conuersation is much preiudiciall vnto that soule which now feeds vpon thy not deceiuing Word It would I thought doe me some good to goe and bathe my selfe and that because I had heard the Bath to take his name from the Greekes calling of it 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 for that it driues sadnesse out of the minde And this I also confesse vnto thy mercy O father of the fatherlesse because that after I had bathed I was the same man I was before and that the bitternesse of my sorrow could not bee swette out of my heart 5. I fell to sleepe vpon it and vpon my waking I found my griefe to bee not a little abated Wherevpon lying in my bed alone there came to my mind those true verses of thy Ambrose For thou art the God that all things doest create Who know'st the Heauens to moderate And cloath'st the day with beautious light With benefit of sleepe the night Which may our weakned sinewes make Able new paynes to vndertake And all our tyred minds well ease And our distempered griefes appease And then againe by little and little as feelingly as before calling to mind thy handmayd her deuout and holy conuersation towards Thee her pleasing and most obseruant behauiour towards Vs of which too suddenly I was now depriued it gaue mee some content to weepein thy sight both concerning her and for her concerning my selfe and for my selfe And I gaue way to these teares which I before restreined to ouer flow as much as they desired laying them for a pillow vnder my heart and resting my selfe vpon them for there were thy eares and not the eares of man who would haue scornefully interpreted this my weeping 6. But now in writing I confesse it vnto thee O Lord read it who will and interpret it how he will and if hee finds me to haue offended in bewailing my mother so small a portion of an houre that mother I say now dead and departed from mine eyes who had so many yeeres wept for me that I might liue in thine eyes let him not deride me but if he be a man of any great charity let him rather weepe for my sinnes vnto Thee the Father of all the brethren of thy Christ CHAP. 13. Hee prayeth for his dead mother 1. BVt my heart now cured of that wound for which it might bee blamed for a carnall kinde of affection I powre out vnto Thee O our God in behalfe of that handmayd of thine a farre different kind of teares such as flowed from a broken spirit out of a serious consideration of the danger of euery soule that dyeth in Adam And notwithstanding she for her part being quickened in Christ euen before her dissolution from the flesh had so liued that there is cause to prayse Thy name both for her sayth and conuersation yet dare I not say for all this that from the time of thy regenerating her by baptisme there issued not from her mouth any one word or other against thy commandement Thy Sonne who is Truth hath pronounc'd it Whosoeuer shall say vnto his brother Thou foole shall bee in danger of Hell fire In so much as woe bee vnto the most commendable life of men if laying aside thy mercy thou shouldest rigorously examine it But because thou too narrowly inquiredst not after sinnes wee assuredly hope to finde some place of pardon with thee But whosoeuer stands to reckon vp his owne Merits vnto Thee what reckons hee vp vnto thee but thine owne gifts Oh that men would know thēselues to be but men that he that glorieth would glory in the Lord. 2. I therefore O my praise and my life thou God of my heart laying aside for a while her good deedes for which with reioycing I giue thanks vnto thee doe now beseech thee for the sinnes of my mother Hearken vnto mee by him I intreate thee that is the true medicine of our wounds who hung vpon the tree and now sitting at thy right hand maketh intercession for vs. I know that shee hath doalt mercifully and to haue from her very heart forgiuen those that trespassed against her doe thou also
open vnto mee 2 But doe thou O my most private Physicion make apparent vnto mee what fruite I may reape by doing it For the confessions of my passed sinnes which thou hast so giuen and couered that thou mightest make mee happy in thee in changing my life by thy sayth and Sacrament whenas they are read and heard they stirre vp the heart that it may not sleepe in despaire and say I cannot but keepe it selfe wakefull in the loue of thy mercy and the sweetnesse of thy grace by which any weake persons is made strong who is by it made guilty to himselfe of his owne infirmities As for these that are good they take delight to heare of their passed errours those I meane that are now freed from them yet are they not therefore delighted because they are errors but for that they hauing so beene are not so now 3. With what fruit O Lord my God to whom my conscience more secure vpon the hope of thy mercy then in her own inocēcy maketh her daily confession with what fruit I beseech thee doe I by this Booke before Thee also confesse vnto men what at this time I yet am not what I haue beene For as for that fruit I haue both seene spoken of it but as for what I now am behold in the very time of the making of these Cōfessions diuers people both desired to know it both they that personally know mee and those also that did not they that had heard any thing eyther from me or of me but their care ouer-heares not my heart where-euer or what-euer I be They are desirous therefore to heare mee confesse what I am within whither neyther their eye nor eare nor vnderstanding is able to diue yet doe they desire it though they bee tyed to beleeue mee not able to know me because that Clarity by which they are made good sayes vnto them that I would neuer belye my selfe in my Confessions And t is that Charity in them which giues credit to me CHAP. 4. Of the great fruite of Confession 1. BVt to what end would they heare this doe they desire to congratulate with mee when as they shall heare how neere by thy grace I am now come vnto thee and to pray for mee when shall they once heare how much I am cast behind by mine owne heauinesse To such will I discouer my selfe for it is no meane fruite O Lord my God to cause many to me thankes vnto thee and bee intreated for vs by many Let the friendly minde of my brethren loue that in mee which thou teachest is to bee loued and lament in me what thou teachest is to be lamented Let the minde of my brethren not that of the stranger not that of the Strange children whose mouth talketh of vanity and their right hand is a right hand of iniquity but that of my brethren who when they approue of mee doe also reioyce for mee and when they disallow mee are sory for me because that whether they allow or disallow me yet still they loue me To such will I discouer my selfe they will haue a respect to my good deedes and sigh for my ill My good deedes are thine appoyntments and thy gifts my euill ones are my owne faults and thy iudgements Let them receiue comfort by the one and sigh at the other Let now both thanks-giuing and bewailing ascend vp into thy sight out of the hearts of my brethren which are thy Censers 2. And when thou O Lord art once delighted with the Incense of thy holy Temple haue mercy vpon me according to thy great mercy for thine owne names sake and at no hand giuing ouer what thou hast begunne in mee finish vp what is imperfect This is the fruit of my Confessions not of what I haue beene but of what I am namely to confesse this not before thee onely in a secret reioycing mixed with trembling and in a priuate sorrow fulnes allayed with hope but in the cares also of the beleeuing sonnes of men sharers of my ioy and partners in mortality with mee my fellow Citizens and fellow Pilgrimes both those that are gone before and those that are to follow after mee and those too that accompany mee along in this life 3. These are thy seruants my brethren those whom thou willest to be thy sonnes my masters whom thou commandedst mee to serue if I would liue with thee But this thy saying were to little purpose did it giue the command onely by speaking and not goe before mee in performing This therefore I now doe both in deede and word this I doe vnder thy wings and that with too much danger were not my soule sheltred vnder thy wings and my infirmity knowne vnto thee I am but a little one but my Father liueth for euer and my Protector is fit for mee For t is the very same hee that begat me and that defends meet for thou thy selfe art all my goods euen thou O omnipotent who art present with me and that before I am come vnto thee To such therefore will I discouer my selfe whom thou commandest mee to serue not discouering what I haue beene but what I now am and what I am yet But I will not iudge my selfe Thus therefore let mee be heard CHAP. 5. That man knoweth not himselfe throughly and knowes not God but in a glasse darkely 1. BVt thou O Lord doest iudge me because that although No man knowes the things of a man but the spirit of man which is in him Yet is there some thing of man which the very spirit of man that is in him knoweth not But thou knowest all of him who hast made him As for me though in thy sight I despise my selfe accounting my selfe but dust and ashes yet know I something of thee which I know not of my selfe For surely now wee see thorough a glasse darkely not face to face as yet so long therefore as I bee absent from thee I am neerer vnto my selfe then vnto thee and yet know I thee not possible to be any wayes violated whereas for my selfe I neyther know what temptations I am able to resist or what I am not 2. But there is hope because thou art faithfull who wilt not suffer vs to bee tempted aboue that wee are able but wilt with the temptation also make a way to escape that we may be able to beare it I will confesse therfore what I know by my selfe I will confesse yea and what I know not And that because what I doe know by my selfe by thy shewing it mee I come to know it and what I know not by my selfe I am so long ignorant of vntill my darkenesse bee made as the Noone-day in thy sight CHAP. 6. What God is and how knowne 1. NOt out of a doubtfull but with a certayne conscience doe I loue thee O Lord Thou hast strucken my heart with thy word therupon I loued thee Yea also the heauen
strengtheneth me See here a souldiour indeed of thy celestiall armies on not of the same moulds that wee are made of but remember Lord that wee are dust and that of dust thou hast made man who was lost and is found Nor yet could Hee doe this of his owne power because hee was of the same dust him I meane whom I did so heartily loue for this saying by thy inspiration I can doe all things sayth hee through him that strengtheneth me Strengthen me that I may be able giue what thou commandest and command what thou wilt Euen S. Paul confesses to haue receiued and when hee glorieth in the Lord hee glorieth Another also haue I heard begging of thee Turne from mee sayth he the greedynesse of the belly By which it appeareth O my holy God that the power is of thy giuing when any thing is done which thou commandest to bee done Thou hast taught mee good Father that Vnto the pure all things are pure but that it is euill vnto the man that eateth with offence And that euery Creature of thine is good and nothing to bee refused which is receiued with thankesgiuing And that meate commendeth vs not to God And that no man ought to iudge vs in meat or drinke And that hee which eateth Let him not despise him that eateth not and let not him that eateth not iudge him that eateth These things haue I learned thankes and prayse bee to thee therefore my God and Master euen to thee that knockest at the doore of mine eares the enlightener of my heart doe thou deliuer mee out of all temptation 6. It is not any vncleannesse in the meate which I feare but the vncleannesse of mine owne gurmandizing I know that liberty was granted vnto Noah to eate of all kinde of flesh that was good for foode That Eliah was fedde with flesh that Iohn Baptist endued with an admirable abstinence was not polluted by those liuing creatures the Locusts which were granted him to feede vpon And on the other side I know that Esau was deceiued by longing after the potage of Lintels and that Dauid was blamed by himselfe for desiring a draught of water and that our King was tempted not concerning flesh but bread and the people in the wildernesse therefore deserued to bee reprooued not so much for desiring flesh but for murmuring against the Lord out of a lust to lickorish meats My selfe therefore amidst these temptations doe striue dayly against mine owne appetite of eating and drinking For t is not of such a nature as that I am able to resolue to cut my selfe short of it once for all and neuer to touch it afterward as I was able to doe concerning carnall copulation The brydle of the throat therefore is to be held betweene a temperate slacknesse and a stiffenesse and who is he O Lord that is not some whit transported beyond the lists of necessity what euer hee is a great man hee is and let him magnifie thy name for it But for mine owne part I am not the man for that I am a sinner Yet doe I magnifie thy name too yea and Her makes intercession to thee for my sinnes who hath ouercome the world who accounts mee among the weake members of his body because thine eyes haue seene my substance being yet vnperfect and in thy booke were all my members written CHAP. 32. Of our delight in smelling 1. AS for the tempting delight of sweete-smels I am not too much taken with it When I misse them I doe not seeke them when I may haue them I doe not refuse them yea alwayes indifferent I am alwayes to bee without them At least to my selfe I seeme to bee though perchance deceiued I may bee For euen that naturall darkenesse is much to be lamented wherein the knowledge of mine owne abilities so farre lies concealed as that when my soule makes enquiry into her selfe concerning her owne powers it conceyues it not safe too lightly to giue credit vnto it selfe because that what is already in it lâ—es many times so closely muffled vp as nothing but experience can reueale it nor ought any man to bee secure in this lift which may well bee called one continued temptation whether that hee whom it hath beene possible of worse to make better may not likewise of better be made worse againe Our onely hope our onely confidence the onely assured promise that we haue is thy mercy CHAP. 33. The pleasures taken in hearing 1. THe delights of mine cares verily haue heretofore more strongly inucigled and ingaged mee but thou hast brought me off and freed mee Yet still at hearing of those Ayers which thy words breat he soule into wheÌ„as they are sung with a well tuned and a well-gouerned voyce I doe I confesse receiue a little contentment not so great though as that I am enchanted by it but that I can goe away when I please But yet for all this that those Ayers may together with these words by vertue of which they receiue life gaine full admission with mee doe they aspire to be entertained into a place of no meane honour in this heart of mine Nor can I scarce affoord them a roome be fitting for them At another time forsooth doe I seeme to my selfe to attribute more respect vnto them then is seemely yea euen whilest together with those sacred ditties I perceiue these mindes of ours to bee farre more religiously and zealously blown vp vnto a flame of deuotion whenas these ditties are thus sung then they would haue been had they not been so sung yea and I perceiue withall how that the seuerall affections of our spirit according to a sweete variety haue their proper Moodes answerable to them in the voyce and singing by I know not what secret familiarity whereof they bee stirred vp 2. But this contentment of my flesh vnto which it is not fit to giue ouer my soule to bee effeminated doeth very oft beguile mee when namely the sence goes not so respectfully along with the reason that it can with any patience endure to come behinde it but vpon this consideration onely that because Reason for the Sences sake gaynd admission therefore would the contentment of the Sence euen runne before Reason and bee her leader Thus in these things I sometimes sinne by surprize but afterwards I finde mine owne fault Againe at another time thorough an indiscreete wearynesse of being inueigled doe I erre out of too precise a seuerity yea very fierce am I sometimes in the desire of hauing the melody of all pleasant Musicke to which Dauids Psalter is so often sung banished both from mine owne eares and out of the whole Church too yea and the safer way it seem'd vnto mee which I remember to haue beene often told me of Athanasius Bishop of Alexandria who caused the Reader of the Psalme to sound it forth with so little warbling
Ghost the Creator of all thine owne creatures CHAP. 6. Of the Spirits mouing vpon the waters 1. BVt what was the cause O thou true-speaking light vnto thee lift I vp my heart let it not bee taught vanities dispell thou the darkenesse of it and tell mee by our mother charity I beseech thee tell mee the reason I beseech thee why after the mention of heauen and of the inuisible and shapelesse earth and darknesse vpon the Deepe thy Scriptures should euen then at length make the first mention of thy Spirit Was it because it was meete so to haue Him insinuated as that he should bee sayd to moue vpon and so much could not truely bee sayd vnlesse that were first mentioned vpon which thy Spirit may bee vnderstood to haue moued For verily neyther vpon the Father not vpon the Sonne was hee moued nor could he rightly be sayd to moue vpon if there were nothing yet for him to moue vpon First therefore was that to bee spoken of which He was sayd to moue vpon and then Hee whom it was requisite not to haue named otherwise then a Hee was sayd to moue vpon But wherefore yet was â—â— not fitting to haue Him insinuated otherwayes vnlesse Hee were sayd to moue vpon CHAP. 7. Of the effect or working of the Holy Ghost 1. FRom hence let him that is able follow with his vnderstanding thy Apostle where hee thus speakes Because thy loue is shed abroad in our hearts by the holy Ghost which is giuen vnto vs and where concerning spirituall gifts he teacheth and sheweth vnto vs a more excellent way of charity and where he bowes his knees vnto thee for vs that wee may come to learne that most excellent knowledge of the loue of Christ And therefore euen from the very beginning did the Spirit supereminently moue vpon the waters Whom shall I tell it vnto and in what termes shall I describe how the hugy weight of lustfull desires presses downe into the steepe pit and how charity rayses vs vp againe by thy Spirit which moued vpon the waters Vnto whom shall I speake it and in what language vtter it For they are no certaine places into which wee are plunged and out of which wee are againe lifted What can bee liker and yet what vnlikeer They bee Affections they be Loues they be the vncleannesse of our owne spirits that ouerflow our lower parts with the loue of cares and it is the holynesse of thy Spirit that rayseth vs vpwards againe by the loue of our safeties that wee may lift our harts vp vnto the Lord where thy Spirit is moued vpon the waters and that wee may come at length to that repose which is aboue all rests when namely our soules shall haue escaped ouer these waters where we can find no ground CHAP. 8. How Gods Spirit cherisheth feeble soules 1. THE Angels fell and mans soule fell and all thy Spirituall creatures in generall had shewne the way vnto the deepe which is in that most darkesome bottome hadst not thou sayd Let there be light and there was light and vnlesse euery spirituall creature of thy heauenly City had continued in obedience vnto thee and settled it selfe vpon thy Spirit which moues vnchangeably vpon euery thing that is changeable Otherwise had euen the heauen of heauens it selfe for euer continued a darkesome Deepe whereas now it is light in the Lord. And now by that miserable restlesnesse of the falling spirits and by their discouering of their owne darknesse the garment of thy light being pluckt off them doest thou sufficiently reueale how noble the reasonable creature is which thou hast created vnto which nothing will suffice to settle its happynesse and rest vpon that is any way inferior vnto thy selfe and therefore cannot herselfe giue satisfaction vnto herselfe For t is thou O Lord that shalt lighten our darknesse from thee must grow these our garments and then shall our darknesse be as the noone day 2. Giue thy selfe vnto me O my God yea restore thy selfe vnto me for I loue thee and if it be too little let mee now loue thee more affectionately I am not able to measure my loue that I may so come to know how much there wants of enough that my life may euen runne into thy embracements and not tnrne from them againe vntill I bee wholy hidden in the secret of thy presence This one thing am I sure of that woe is me if I be not in thee yea not so onely if I bee without my selfe but ill will it goe with mee though I be hidden within my selfe yea all other plenty besides my God is meere beggery vnto me CHAP. 9. Why the Spirit onely moued vpon the waters 1. BVT did not the Father also or the Sonne moue vpon the waters And if wee vnderstand mouing as it were in a place like a body then neyther did the Spirit moue But if the excellent highnesse of the diuinity aboue euery changeable creature bee vnderstood then did both Father Sonne and Holy Ghost moue vpon the waters Why therefore is this sayd of thy Spirit onely Why of him onely as if there had beene some place where indeede there is no place for it of which onely it is written that Hee is thy gift Let vs now take vp our rest in this thy gift there let vs enioy thee O our rest and our place 2. Loue preferres vs thither and thy good Spirit aduances our lowlynesse from the very gates of death In thy good pleasure lies our peace our body with his owne lumpishnesse swaies vs towards its owne place Weight makes not downeward onely but to his owne place also The fire mounts vpward a stone sinks downeward All things pressed by their owne weight goe towards their proper places Oyle powred in the bottome of the water yet will swimme on the toppe of it water powred vpon Oyle sinkes to the bottome of the Oyle They are weighed downe by their owne hea-luinesse they go to seeke their owne centers Things a little out of their places become vnquiet put them in their order agayne and they are quieted My weight is my loue that way am I carried whithersoeuer I bee carried Wee are inflamed by thy gift and are carried vpwards wee waxe hot within and we goe forwards Wee ascend thy waies that be in our heart and wee sing a song of degrees inwardly enflamed with thy fite with thy good fire and wee goe euen because we goe vpwards to the peace of Ierusalem for glad I was when as they sayd vnto me We will go vp into the house of God There let thy good pleasure settle vs that wee may desire no other thing but to dwell there for euer CHAP. 10. All is of Gods gift O Happy creature which knowes no other thing but that whenas it selfe was another thing euen by thy Gift which moueth vpon euery mutable thing it was so soone as created and no delay of time betweene taken vp in that
call whereby thou saydest Let there be light and there was light Whereas in vs there is distance of time betweene our hauing beene darknesse and our making light but of that creature it is onely sayd what it would haue beene if it had not beene enlightened And this is spoken in that manner as if it had beene vnsetled and darkesome before that so the reason might now appeare for which it was made to bee otherwise that is to say that it being conuerted vnto the light that neuer faileth might it selfe bee made light Let him vnderstand this that is able and let him that is not aske it of God Why should he trouble mee with it as if I could enlighten any man that commeth into this world CHAP. 11. Of some Impressions or resemblances of the blessed Trinity that be in man 1. VVHich of vs does sufficiently comprehend the knowledge of the almighty Trinity and yet which of vs but talkes of it if at least it be that A rare soule it is which whilest it speakes of it knowes what it speakes of For men contend and striue about it and no man sees the vision of it in peace I could wish that men would consider vpon these three that are in themselues Which three be farre another thing indeede then the Trinity is but I doe but now tell them where they may exercise their meditations and examine and finde how farre they are from it Now the three that I spake of are To Be to Know and to Will For I both Am and Know and Will I Am Knowing and Willing and I Know my selfe to Be and to Will and I would both Be and Know. Betwixt these three let him discerne that can how vnseparable a life there is yea one life one mind and one essence yea finally how vnseparable a distinction there is and yet there is a distinction Surely a man hath it before him let him looke into himselfe and see and then tell mee 2. But when once hee comes to finde any thing in these three yet let him not for all this beleeue himselfe to haue found that vnchangeable which is farre aboue all these and which IS vnchangeably and Knowes vnchangeably and Willes vnchangeably But whether or no where these three bee there is also a Trinity or whether all three bee in each seuerall one or all three in euery of them or whether both wayes at once in admirable manner simply and yet manifoldly in its infinite selfe the and vnto it selfe by which end it is and is knowne vnto it selfe and that being vnchangebly euer the same by the abundant greatnesse of its Vnity it bee all-sufficient for it selfe what man can readily conceiue who is able in any termes to expresse it ◠who shall dare in any measure rashly to deliuer his opinion vpon it CHAP. 12. The water in Baptisme is effectuall by the Holy Spirit 1. PRoceede in with thy Confession of the Lord thy God O my faith O holy holy holy Lord my God in thy name haue we beene baptized O Father Sonne and Holy Ghost because that euen among vs also in Christ his Sonne did God make an heauen and earth namely the spirituall and carnall people of his Church Yea and our earth before it receiued the forme of doctrine was inuisible and vnformed and wee were couered ouer with the darknesse of ignorance For thou hast chastised man for his iniquity and thy Iudgements were like the great deepe vnto him 2 But because thy Spirit moued vpon the waters thy mercy forsooke not our misery for thou saydst Repent ye for the Kingdom of Heauen is at hand Repent Let there be light And because our soule was troubled within vs wee haue remembred thee O Lord concerning the land of Iordan and that hill which being equall vnto thy selfe was made little for our sakes and vpon our being displeased at our owne darkenesse wee turned vnto thee and were made light So that behold we hauing sometimes beene darknesse are now light in the Lord. CHAP. 13. His deuout longing after God 1. BVT yet we walke by faith still not by sight for we are saued by hope but hope that is soene is not hope And yet doeth one deepe call vnto another in the voyce of thy water-spoutes and so doeth hee that sayth I could not speake vnto you as vnto spirituall but as vnto carnall euen He who thought not himselfe to haue apprehended as yet and who forgot those things which are behynd and reacht foorth to those things which are before yea he groaned earnestly and his soule thirsted after God as the Hart after the water-brooks saying When shall I come desiring to be cloathed vpon with his house which is from heauen he calleth also vpon this lower deepe saying Be not conformed to this world but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind And Be not children in vnderstanding but in malice be ye children that in vnderstanding ye may be perfect and O foolish Galatians who hath bewitched you 2. But now speakes hee no longer in his own voice but in thine who sentest thy Spirit from aboue by his mediation who ascended vp on high and set open the flood-gates of his gifts that the force of his streames might make glad the City of God Him doeth this friend of the bridegroome sigh after though hauing the first fruites of the Spirit in himselfe alreadie yet groaneth he within himselfe as yet wayting for the adoption to wit the redemption of his body to him he sighes as being a mēber of his Bride towards him he burnes with zeale as being a friend of the Bridegroome towards him hee burneth not towards himselfe because that in the voyce of thy water-spowtes and not in his owne voyce doth hee call to that other deepe for whose sake hee is both iealous and fearefull lest that as the serpent beguiled Eue through his subtiltie so their minds should be corrupted from the simplicitie that is in our Bridegrome thy onely Sonne Oh what a light of beauty will that be when we shall see that Bridegrome as Hee is when all teares shall be wiped from our eyes which haue beene my meat day and night whilest they daily say vnto me Where is now thy God CHAP. 14. Our misery is comforted by faith and Hope 1. ANd so say I too Where art thou O my God see where art thou In thee take I comfort a little while whenas I powre out my soule by my selfe in the voyce of ioy and prayse which is the sound of him that keepes holyday And yet againe is it besadned euen because it relapseth againe and becomes a darkesome deepe or perceiues it selfe rather euen still to bee one Vnto it thus speakes my faith which thou hast kindled to enlighten my feete in this my night Why art thou so sad O my soule and why art thou so
now of that flying kind which at thy word the waters brought foorth Send thou thy word into it by thy Messengers for their labors indeede they are which we speake of but yet thou art he that worketh in them that they may worke a soule to haue life in it 2. The Earth brings forth that is the Earth is the cause that â— they worke this in the soule like as the Sea was the cause that they wrought vpon the mouing things that haue life in them as also vpon the fowles that flie in the open firmament of heauen of whome this Earth hath no neede although it seedes vpon that fish which was taken out of the deepe vpon that Table which thou hast prepared for the faythfull For therefore was He taken out of the Deepe that hee might feede the Dry land the Fowle though bred in the Sea is yet multiplyed vpon the Earth For of the first preachings of the Euangelists mans infidelity was the cause yet giue they good exhortations vnto the faythfull also yea and many wayes doe they blesse them from day to day But as for the liuing soule that tooke his beginning from the Earth for it profits not the faythfull vnlesse they can containe themselues from the loue of this world that so their soule many only liue vnto thee which was dead while it lined in pleasure in such pleasures Lord as bring death with them For t is thou O Lord that art the vitall delight of a pure heart 3. Now therefore let thy Ministers worke vpon this with i not as sometimes they did vpon the waters of Infidelity when they preached and spake by miracles and Sacraments and mysterious expressions when as Ignorance the mother of Admiration might giue good care â—o theÌ„ out of a reuerent feare it had towards those secret wonders For such is the entrance that is made vnto faith by the sonnes of Adam forgetfull of thee while they 〈◊〉 themselues from thee 〈◊〉 become a darksome deep But let thy Ministers worke â—ow as vpon dry land that is separated from the gulfes of the great deepe and let them 〈◊〉 patterne vnto the faithfull by liuing before them â—â— stirring the vp to imitation For thus are men to heare not with an intent to hearken only but to doe also Seeke the Lord and your soule shall liue That the Earth may bring forth the liuing soule Be not conformed to this world Containe your selues from it then shall your soules liue by auoyding it which dyed by affecting it 4. Contayne your selues from the immoderate wild humour of pride the litherly voluptuousnesse of lust and the false name of knowledge that so the wilde beasts may be tamed the cattell made tractable and the Serpents harmelesse For these bee the motions of our minde vnder an Allegory that is to say the haughtynesse of pride the delight of lust and the poyson of curiosity these be the motions of a dead soule For the soule dyes not so vtterly as that it wants all motion because it dying by departing from the fountayne of life is there upon taken vp by this transitory world and is conâ—â—â—ed vnto it But thy word O God is the fountaine of eternall life and that neuer calleth away wherefore this departure of the Soule is restrayned by thy word when 〈◊〉 sayd vnto vs Be not conformed vnto this world that so the Earth may in the fountyne of life bring forth a 〈◊〉 soule that is a soule 〈◊〉 continent by vertue of 〈◊〉 Word deliuered by thy 〈◊〉 and by followâ—â—â— the followers of Christ 〈◊〉 is indeede to liue after 〈…〉 because the emution a man takes is from â—â— friend Be yee sayth he â— am for I am as you are 〈◊〉 in this liuing soule shall 〈◊〉 be good beasts meeke 〈◊〉 actions For thou 〈◊〉 commanded Goe on with thy businesse in meekenesse so shalt thou be beloued of all men And there shall be good cattell in it too which neither of they eate much shall haue nothing ouer nor if they eate little any lacke and good Serpents not dangerous to doe hurt but wise to take heed such as will make such a search into this temporall nature as may bee sufficient that Gods eternity may be cleerly seene being vnderstood by the things that are made For these Creatures are then obedient vnto Reason when being once restrayned from their deadly preuayling vpon vs they liue and become good CHAP. 22. Of Regeneration by the Spirit He allegorizes vpon the Creation of man 1. FOr behold O Lord our God our Creatour soone as euer our affectioÌ„s are restrayned from the loue of the world by which we died through our euill-liuing and began to bee a liuing soule through our good liuing and that the word which thou hast spoken be thy Apostle shal be made good in vs Be not conformed to this world that next followes vpon it which thou presently subioynedst saying But be ye transformed by the renuing of your mind not as liuing now after your kind as if you followed your neighbour next before you nor yet as liuing after the example of some better man for thou didst not say Let man be made after his kinde but Lei vs make man after our own Image and similitude that we might proue what thy will is For to this purpose sayd that dispencer of thine who begets Children by the Gospell that hee might not euer haue them babes whom hee must bee sayne to feede with milke and bring vp like a nurse Be ye transformed sayth he by the renewing of your mind that ye may proue what is that good that acceptable and perfect will of God Wherefore thou sayest not Let man he made but Let vs make man Nor saydst thou According to his kind but After our own Image likenesse For man being renewed in his minde and able to discerne and vnderstand thy truth needs no more any direction of man to follow after his kind but by thy shewing doth hee proue what is that good that acceptable and perfect will of thine yea thou teachest him that is now made capeable to discerne the Trinity of the Unity and the Vnity of the Trinity Whereas therefore it was spoken in the plurall number Let vs make man vet is it presently inferred in the singular And God made man and whereas t is sayd in the plurall number After our owne likenesse yet is inferred in the singular After the Image of God Thus is man renewed vnto the knowledge of God after the Image of him that created him and being made Spirituall he now iudges all things those namely that are to bee iudged yet hee himselfe is iudged of no man CHAP. 23 Of what things a Christian may iudge He allegorizes vpon mans dominion ouer the creatures THat hee now iudgeth all things this is the meaning That he hath dominion ouer the fish of the Sea and