grieuous and irkesome will the damage and disgrace be to euery or any of these respectiuely Thou O God art our Master and to serue thee is to raigne with thee Thou art our Father and what greater preeminence then to bee the Sonne of God Thou art our King and to be in subiection to thee is our chiefest dominion How then doth it concerne me being an vnfaithfull Seruant a prodigall Childe and a trayterous Subiect to beg earnestly of thee my bountifull Master my louing Father my gracious Soueraigne that thou wilt not take away thy 〈◊〉 banish me from thy fight nor expell mee from thy Courts As the soule doth excell the body and the 〈◊〉 the flesh beyond proportion so the one losse is incomparably greater then the other Thou O God art present with me by thy good Spirit and so long as I haue this Ghest in my soule I haue the fruition of thee and thy presence wherefore suffer not this noble Ghest to be dislodged and taken from mee Thou and thy Spirit are vndeuided companions If thou cast me from thy presence thou takest thy holy Spirit from me and if thou takest 〈◊〉 Spirit thou takest thy selfe from me I doe yet enioy thy presence in a sort I behold thy countenance though full of anger I feele thy Spirit within mee though sad and grieued for I find contrition in my heart confession in my mouth and confusion in my face for my grieuous offences I hate my sinnes and my selfe for my sinnes This smoake cannot ascend but from that fire of thy Spirit this fruit cannot grow but from that roote of repentance Howbeit when I behold the vglinesse of my offences with an vnpartiall eye and consider how hard harsh a thing it is for Purity and Holinesse to dwell or abide with wickednesse and filthinesse I tremble and quake in an awefull feare that thou wilt as iustly thou mayest depriue me of thy gracious presence and bereaue mee of thy blessed Spirit Lord thou art in all things by thine Essence thou art in all places and at once by thy Power and presence I may well bee asked Whither wilt thou flye from his Spirit or whither wilt thou goe from his presence c If thou shalt say The darkenesse shall couer me euen the night shall bee light about thee Yet thou canst and wilt cast me from thy presence and withdraw thy holy Spirit from me if I be settled vpon the dregs of my sinnes without remorse in contempt of thy Maiestie and abuse of thy mercie If thou in thy iust iudgement and wrathfull indignation abandon mee from thy presence thou castest me out of thy prouidence and protection thy blessed Spirit doth quite desert mee I am banished out of the land of the liuing into the Desert of desolation which is without the compasse of the whole Vniuerse that thou didst create and d'st vphold In that case happy were I to bee no more but I shall be most vnhappy to bee and continue helpelesse and hopelesse in endlesse misery Thy holy Spirit is by a speciall title stiled The Comforter by excellencie because all other comforters and comforts are cold and vncomfortable without and beside it I haue I confesse with griefe many times checked this Spirit when it hath presented good motions to my minde and good desires to my hart I haue grieued it exceedingly while I carelesly neglected and stubbornely refused the good counsell it ministred vnto me Howbeit sithence without this Comforter I must bee for euer comfortlesse in the depth of discomfort I 〈◊〉 thee not to take vtterly and finally thy holy Spirit from me Thy gifts O Lord are without repentance therefore I trust I shal neuer be without repentance whō thou louest once thou doest euer loue if thou begin thou wilt perseuere to loue Although I doe not alwayes feele the graces of thy Spirit in my sinfull soule yet I shall 〈◊〉 trust haue 〈◊〉 euer because once I had them My sinne may take away the sence and 〈◊〉 for a while but not the interest and property if I may so say which I haue in thy blessed Spirit Which notwithstanding the fruition of this Spirit being so precious and the losse of it so inualuable I cannot but in feare and anxiety of soule instantly pray that it may not be taken from me Although the seed of thy Word whereby I am begotten againe to a liuely Hope be immortall and incorruptible yet it is so choked with the weeds of fleshly desires so intangled with worldly allurements it lyeth so buried in the furrowes of my hard and stony heart as I may much doubt and in a manner distrust the shooting and springing of it vp againe without an extraordinary influence of thy heauenly grace which cannot descend vpon me vnlesse my humble and earnest prayers ascend vp to thee Wherefore retaine mee O Lord in thy fauour and permit thy blessed Spirit not onely to soiourne for a season but to remaine continually with me Let me so keepe a doore in the Sanctuary of my soule which is one of thy Courts as I may neuer suffer this Ghest to goe out of it 12 Restore vnto mee the ioy of thy saluation and vphold mee with thy firme Spirit or stablish mee with thy free Spirit I Doe not say Giue mee what I neuer had but restore vnto mee what I had and haue lost by mine owne fault and folly It is a greater fauour to restore then to giue in as much as it is a greater vnhappinesse to lose a Iewell which I had then neuer to haue had it Priuation is a greater punishment then want It is the height of misery to haue beene happy To come out of darknesse into light out of sicknesse into health out of perplexity into security out of sorrow sadnesse into ioy and gladnesse and so by the contrary to come out of cheerfulnesse into pensiuenesse sets out more liuely and causes to be felt more sensibly both the one and the other condition One contrary is a foyle vnto another We then make the tru est valuation of thy greatest mercies O Lord when we are for a time depriued of them which is one speciall cause why thou takest them from vs that by the want we may learne the worth of them and shew our selues accordingly thankefull because thou diddest vouchsafe vs the fruition of them so long and much more ioyfully imbrace and charily preserue them when thou pleasest to restore them to vs againe For as the eyes cannot discerne a goodly obiect when it is held close vnto them but when it is remoued in some distance so our vntoward vnthankfull hearts cannot iudge of the excellency and sweetnesse of present graces but when they are withdrawne a while from vs then doe we more cheerefully behold and fully obserue the riches of thy bounty mercy in them This ioy of thy saluation consisteth in an assured
quickly slips from good Meditations and Actions slides from honest purposes and proceedings vnlesse it bee sustained by thy Spirit But being quickned and enlyued by thy Spirit though otherwise dead I shal liue in thee by thee for thee all my thoughts words and workes shall breathe continually thy praise and glory Thy Spirit O Lord is the life of my soule as my spirit is the life of my body if my spirit faile my body perisheth if thy Spirit desert my soule my soule cannot but fall irrecouerably Wherefore vphold mee with thy Spirit Thy Spirit is free in it selfe As the winde bloweth so the Spirit breatheth where it listeth As it is a free so it is a freeing Spirit a Spirit of liberty which deliuereth me from the bondage of Sinne a Spirit of Adoption whereby I cry Abba Father As the Spirit is free so are those that are led by the Spirit free ingenuous bold and couragious it infranchizeth and naturalizeth me in the heauenly Hierusalem This Spirit hath power to helpe all my infirmities it hath skill and will to frame my Supplications within me to be expressed if not by tongue voyce yet by sighes and grones vnutterable but still intelligible to thee it can preserue mee from falling it can raise mee after I haue falne and then so establish mee that I shall neuer come againe into danger of relapse or recidiuation My spirit thus vpheld and established by thy free Spirit what is it else but a cheerefull alacrity and forward disposition to imbrace any thing that is good for it owne sake and for thy sake without any by or secondary respect whatsoeuer banisheth all drowzy dulnesse and vntoward listlesnesse in thy seruice that putteth wings to my obedience and maketh it not to walke slowly but to flye nimbly in the accomplishment of thy errands and directions that causeth me to doe ingenuously what becommeth me for loue of vertue and not for feare of the whip basely When thou hadst appointed that the first 〈◊〉 of euery beast should bee set apart to thee thou diddest specially ordaine that if it were the Foale of an Asse it should be redeemed with a Lambe if it were not the necke of it should bee broken thou wouldest not haue it sacrificed vnto thee at any hand Surely it may well seeme that this is alterius rei 〈◊〉 a kinde of riddle and that by this shaddow thou wouldest shew thy 〈◊〉 of slothfulnesse and 〈◊〉 want of life and cheerefulnesse in thy seruice that an Asse being one of thy dullest creatures Sloth is wont to bee pictured riding on an Asse thou wouldest not bee honoured by the sacrifice of such a beast Thou O Lord louest a swift hearer a cheerefull giuer a zealous Petitioner a voluntary Souldier and a diligent 〈◊〉 for all which purposes thy free and firme Spirit will strongly enable and support mee continually Wherefore establish mee with thy free Spirit O Lord. 13 Then will I teach transgressors thy wayes and sinners or impious persons shall be conuerted vnto thee WHen thou hast vouchsafed graciously to bestow vpon mee those graces whereof I haue gracelesly 〈◊〉 my selfe then will I 〈◊〉 my selfe gratefull vnto thee I will 〈◊〉 that dutie of thankefulnesse so sutable to humanity so agreeable to piety it being a thing good and commendable 〈◊〉 and profitable pleasant and dilectable 〈◊〉 gracefull to returne praises and thankes to thee for thy mercies duly to acknowledge and truly to 〈◊〉 thy singular fauours in such manner as I can and by such meanes as are within the reach of my weake and worthlesse ability I will not follow the common fashion of worldly men who like barrels sound when they are empty but are still when they are full who craue earnestly when they feele want but are dumbe and silent when their turne is serued I solemnely vow and will really performe thankfull acknowledgement for so great benefits when I haue receiued them Thou O God by difburthening man of his sin doest impose a burthen of gratitude vpon him A benefit is a burthen to an ingenuous minde that cannot rest quietly but lyeth shut vp as it were in prison straightly till it haue procured liberty by venting some kinde of retribution Although there can be no proportion betweene thy infinite goodnesse and my not onely finite but infinitely weake meanes of requitall yet inasmuch as for a more bountifull fauour a larger returne of 〈◊〉 is of congruence required and the greatest blessing that can bee bestowed vpon a mortall man in this life is peace of conscience intended by the ioy of thy saluation and implyed in the firme support of thy free Spirit I will indeauour in way of 〈◊〉 to doe thee the best seruice that any man can performe vpon earth that is I will teach thy wayes to Transgressors and cause as much as in me lyeth sinners to bee conuerted vnto thee I will teach such as wander and goe aftray how to come into the way Againe those that goe by-wayes I will teach thy wayes that is the wayes of thy directions which leade vs by a right line as it were through the maze of this miserable world to the land of Canaan that happy country which we should so loue and long for Conuerted sinners are the fittest conuerters of sinners The sickly Physician who hath not onely read in his Booke but felt in his body the maladies whereupon hee is consulted is the likeliest man to worke a cure vpon his patient Goodnesse of it owne nature is apt to spread and inlarge it selfe It is the most naturall and kindly worke of each liuing creature to engender a like vnto it selfe As in nature so is it in nurture also An honest well-disposed man will striue as much as hee can to make others good and godly A chast and sober man will endeauour to restrayne and reclayme others from wantonnesse and drunkennesse the like may bee said of all other vertues and vices The rule of Charity requires that he who hath beene raysed out of the dyrt and reskued out of the myre should lift vp others who lye wallowing therein If we be once inflamed with the loue of God and godlinesse wee shall labour to kindle the zeale of others set them on fire also Bad men are and why should not good men much more become Incendiaries This is the matter and effect of my gratitude which though it may seeme to be no great matter For my goodnesse extendeth not to thee neither art thou any whit the better for my being better any way the grace is thine the good is mine alone yet I know it to bee very aceptable and highly pleasing vnto thee being so louing and gracious so couetous of mans saluation as thou dost euen hunger and thirst after his conuersion Thou dost euen long for our returne home from out of those farre remote countries wherein wee haue wandred and spent our patrimony of thy gifts in wickednesse to
THE PSALME OF MERCY OR A MEDITATION vpon the 51. Psalme by a true Penitent LONDON Imprinted by Felix Kyngston and are to be sold by Matthew Lownes 1625. TO MY REVEREND FRIEND Mr. IOHN DOVVNAME Bachelar in Diuinity and Preacher of Gods Word REVEREND SIR WHen first I fell into my grieuous affliction as a man surprized with a mighty Tempest I did in the midst of mine astonishment bethinke my selfe how to apply my courses to the appeasing of Gods anger whence 〈◊〉 crosse proceeded and the sauing of my perplexed soule the mayne marke whereat 〈◊〉 aymed In that case I suddainely and strongly resolued to take Gods Booke into my hand by it as by the true Card and compasse to saile safely thorow the sea of this worlds troubles in hope ioyfully in the end to arriue at the hauen of rest and true 〈◊〉 Among the bookes of holy Writ I 〈◊〉 mine eyes and thoughts specially vpon the Psalmes of Dauid which are a short and sweete 〈◊〉 of all Scripture and 〈◊〉 mysteries therein comprized Among the Psalmes I conuersed more frequently in those that are singled from the rest and stiled by a speciall title The Penitentialls as the fittest medicines for my malady which are as one saith the Anatomy of the spirit and the heart as it were of the new man True it is which I confesse ingenuously though to mine own reproach that albeit I had very often heretofore heard and red those Psalmes wherein Dauid his pangs and passions are liuely described with a kinde of 〈◊〉 delight and pleasing regret as men behold Tragedies on a stage and reade lamentable stories Yet could I not fully rellish and truly tast them whiles I liued in quietnesse and contentment nor indeed vntil I had by personall experience felt in some proportion Dauid his 〈◊〉 and wounded spirit So true is that which sundry of the Fathers haue obserued and Saint Bernard deliuers in these words You shall neuer rightly vnderstand Dauid vntill by experience you haue put on the very affections in which Dauid his Psalmes were endited for none can expresse a passion that feeles it not neither can the penne deliuer but what it copieth out of the 〈◊〉 Now being best acquainted with mine owne disabilities and defects I did 〈◊〉 chuse this Plaine-song to 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 being the prime 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Penitentiall and a liuely Character of a true Mourner though shaped to the particular condition of Dauid yet fitting euery penitent sinner because it seemes to require the compunction of the heart rather then the consideration of the head an imitation rather then an interpretation an application rather then an explication This is The Psalme of Mercy by excellency so called because it beginneth with Miserere which prisoners indicted and conuicted for lesser fellonies at our Assizes and 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 doe so often call and 〈◊〉 for at the Iudges hands For 〈◊〉 that can neither vnderstand nor reade the Latine tongue can say it by rote as they say and doe craue mercy in desiring to be put to reade this Psalme of mercy But without all question the most holy and iust man vpon earth had neede to beg of the great Iudge of heauen and earth that hee will 〈◊〉 to heare him read with his tongue and tune with his heart this sweete though 〈◊〉 Psalme of mercy in his daily 〈◊〉 lest he be condemned when hee comes to be arraigned at the grand Assizes When all offendors without witnesse or Iury are to be accused conuicted 〈◊〉 the 〈◊〉 and 〈◊〉 of their own consciences 〈◊〉 not to appeare it will bee impossible and to appeare without this Psalme of mercy it will be intolerable For who is he among the sonnes of men that may not truly say with that ancient Father A sinner I am spotted with all manner of staines borne for nothing else in this life but to act repentance all my life what other person 〈◊〉 I sustaine vpon the stage of this world Vpon perusall of the Psalme and some few 〈◊〉 thereof for I did not 〈◊〉 many chewing the Cud as it were I haue cast it and them into mine own mold expressed the sense in 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 plaine language and paralelling mine with Dauids perplexities applied his plaisters to my sores I 〈◊〉 with the same measure of spirit I hope with the like successe of grace If you meruaile that I being no Diuine should aduenture the conceiuing much more the publishing of a Meditation of this nature My answere is briefely That the subiect of it belongs to the art of Christianity which euery man is bound to know and not onely to the profession of Diuinity and that in absence of the Master one 〈◊〉 now and than teacheth another and he that learnes of his Schoolefellow will sometimes apprehēd it sooner from 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 from his Master And I hope to suffer the more gentle censure for suffering this weake Essay to see light in this Age which is actiue in scribling and printing euen to ryot and excesse because I see mens wills of their gifts to charitable vses daily printed to incite others by their example to the like courses Why then may not any man declare publish the pious bequest of his soule as it were and set the presse on worke to expresse and record his repentance build his tombe of black-Marble erect it in the Temple of Gods people that by looking vpon 〈◊〉 Ensignes and reading the Epitaph others may be mooued as in Christian affection to condole with him so by a kinde of reflection to mourne for themselues If a man would prouide a mourning suite for his sorrowfull heart what hurt or losse were it to see diuers formes and fashions to make choyce of for patternes The more course the Stuffe and lesse curious the fashion the fitter for the grat Dueil or solemne mourning My model may better please some mourner then a better If no other vse be made The often iteration and frequent renouation of this matter 〈◊〉 vsuall and ordinary resort to houses of mourning may giue occasion to refresh and reuiue that diuine passion which should euer liue in vs till it dye with vs to wit Repentance What fruite others may reape by this my meditation I know not but sure I am that by entertayning the time and employing my thoughts vpon this subiect I haue excluded a world of idle fancies and tumultuous cogitations which otherwise would haue seized vpon me and swallowed many indignities and discontentments that would haue disturbed the peace of my soule had it not beene foreprized by an exercise of this nature as an Antidote against such poisons The cause why I present and submit it to your view and censure is not only for that I reuerence your great learning and singuler piety well knowne to our whole Church by your sundry books but specially in a recognition of the much contentment I found in that worke of yours which deseruedly beares the Title of Consolations for the afflicted or
the nocent cannot but yeeld and submit to such as in the same and in all other kindes are innocent and faultlesse Wherefore against thee onely haue I offended who only maiest aske confidently Who can reprooue me of sinne Now albeit thou know O Lord my sinnes not only before I confesse but before I commit them too yet I sinde that thou art well pleased to take knowledge of them by my acknowledgement and that thy Saints haue euer held it a poynt of honest policy to make thee propitious by confessing whom they could not find ignorant by denying or concealing their faults Finally though the hurt redound to many men 〈◊〉 the sinne is committed a gainst thee onely because thou art supreme Lord and soueraigne King the transgression of whose iust Lawe giueth being and birth to all sinne In which regard I may truly say that against thee thee only I haue sinned I haue done this euill in thy sight Since I professe to know mine owne wickednesse I will yet confesse it more freely because the more vile I am in mine own the more acceptable I shall bee in thine eyes By doing this euill by falling into this enormous sinne I haue fallen into a kinde of Atheisme at the very name whereof I tremble for although I haue not blasphemously and shamelesly spokē with my mouth yet haue I impiously and sinfully said in my heart There is no God or which is tantamount all one in effect God hides his face and will neuer see Which when I call to remembrance mee thinks I heare Nathan the Prophet againe fearefully thundering and directly charging me Thou art the man that thinkest There is no God For to deny expressely or tacitly thy science and wisdome who art all eye and wisdome it selfe is to deny thy very essence and being Whereupon my soule euen melteth within me and resolueth it selfe into teares to thinke that I could bee so impudently bold and insolently carelesse as in thy sight and presence thogh none else beheld to commit such foule and vgly offences Hee is held a desperate Malefactor that commits an outrage in presence of the Magistrate and before the Iudge his owne face Such in true iudgement is my case and this consideration alone if there were nothing else ought to be instead of a bridle to restraine and in stead of a bogle to terrifie me from all sinfull and wicked actions I was loth that man should see me and yet not afraid that thou shouldest behold mee whilest I did those foule and odious facts which in my better iudgement I finde to bee so grosse an absurdity as I am exceedingly both agreeued and ashamed that I forbare not to doe that when thou lookedst on with thy pure eyes which I should haue bin abashed to haue done if the meanest seruant in my house or the basest groome in my stable had been by A franke and sincere confession such as this is a full and direct conuiction in it selfe and of it selfe in courts held vpon earth and before men in foro fori as the Lawyers speake Wherupon the Iudge hath no other part to act but to pronounce sentence of cōdemnation But in foro Poli in thy court of Heauē the course of proceeding is far otherwise the best way there is to confesse before accusation or when thou art impleaded by and by to pleade guilty for a free confession moues thy gracious compassion and that without any more adoe grants forthwith a full and finall absolution This confession of mine doth imply of congruitie or rather of necessitie a profession and a kinde of obligation of forsaking such sins in time to come as I confesse my selfe to haue heretofore committed Else is my confession idle and counterfeit such as may deceiue mee that make it but not mocke Thee to whom it is made The heathen man by the dusky light of nature deriued from the nature of thy supernaturall light can say If I were assured that neither men should know nor gods would punish what I did yet would I disdaine to commit an act in it own nature foule and filthy How much more ought a faithfull man who besides the obscure glimpse of nature hath the pure light of thy Spirit and the bright lampe of thy Word shining vnto him to bee carefull and wary that he doe not wittingly and willingly or rather wilfully offend in the sight of thee the omnipotent and omniscient God who dost not only threaten the losse of thy fauour but the execution of thine eternall vengeance for the breach of thy commandements That thou maist be iustified in thy sayings and pure when thou art iudged And thus I make this franke acknowledgement of my foule faults as to ease mine oppressed soule so to vindicate thine honour from all vniust aspersions For as the scandall lies vpon the Iudge when punishment is inflicted vpon an innocent person so the ingenuous and voluntary confession of the partie touching his owne guilt preuents and excludes all imputation that may bee cast vpon the Iudge or iudgement My desire is as it is my dutie to take my sinnes wholly to my selfe and vpon my selfe I will yeeld the glory to thee to whom it is due I will reserue the shame to my selfe to whom it appertaineth I know O Lord that thy iudgements are right that thou hast afflicted me iustly I cannot impute any thing to thee O most iust God whose will is perfect iustice that thou hast either prouoked me to this enormous euill or consented to the committing of it for euen thy permission of this was a iust punishment for my other sinnes Mine owne fraile and peruerse nature my inbred corruption cast in the seed mine owne will or wilfulnesse rather cherished and nourished it mine own consent and delight fashioned it in the wombe of my sinful soule and at last brought it to light as one of Satans bastards to my iust confusion But thou O Lord art euer and euery way iust and so to be esteemed Thou hast dealt iustly in all that is come vpon me it is I that haue done wickedly I cannot say that thy seueritie or rigour is ouermuch against mee I haue deserued more then is laid vpon me He that is aware of his owne ill desert and weigheth it in an indifferent ballance doth rather thankefully wonder at thy indulgent mercie then vnpatiently repine at thy rigorous seuerity O Lord thou art iust when thou speakest pure when thou iudgest True it is that the wicked cease not to grunt and barke against thee though they cannot bite thee There is an ouer-great boldnesse and naughtinesse in men that they desire nothing more then to lift vp themselues and cast out ill words against thee at all aduentures The creatures passe their bounds so farre that thou the Creator must needs be blasphemed and reproched and thy creatures O indignity must become thy Iudges But yet for all this thou art and euer
shalt bee found iust and pure and it is my part as to beleeue there is equity and iustice in all thy proceedings 〈◊〉 sometimes through my blindnesse I cannot sometimes through my 〈◊〉 I will not 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 so euen when 〈◊〉 doe most bitterly smart to bridle my vnruly passions and with a calme and subdued heart to kisse the rod wherewith I haue been scourged and to indeuour by all meanes that thy righteousnesse as it is indeed so it may shine cleere and bright to the face of all the world Behold I was borne in iniquitie and in sinne hath my mother conceiued me Vpon the straight inquisition and exact suruay of my selfe and my sinnes searching and ransacking euery corner of my house of clay I haue found a noysome sincke and filthy puddle or rather a poysoned and poysonous spring a paternall or a parentall sinne an hereditary a radicall and originall sinne whence all the sinnes of my thoughts words and deedes are continually and plentifully deriued This is that canker of sin which being bred in the bone will neuer out of the flesh This is the law of my members which doth alwaies resist the Law of my minde the euerliuing seed of rebellion which maintaines the implacable warre betweene the flesh and the Spirit which will neuer 〈◊〉 till mortality hath put on immortality and death the last enemy be swallowed vp in victory This is peccatum peccans a sinning or a spurning sinne It is a sinne a punishment of sinne and a cause of sinne Which yet I do not alleadge to excuse or extenuate but rather to accuse my selfe and aggrauate my sinne knowing right well that the viler I am in mine owne the more acceptable I shall bee in thy sight and hoping that the franke confession of my miserable condition proceeding from true humiliation and contrition will the rather moue thy tender compassion as beggers vpō earth to stir the bowels of pitty in their beholders lay open to their view their grieuous sores and lothsome diseases The greater misery is the fitter obiect of thy greater mercy the more desperate the malady the more honourable will the cure bee to the Phisician Where my sinne abounds thy grace delighteth to superabound For the onely and singuler sinne of Adam as of him that bare the person of all his posterity is iustly the sinne of the whole posterity and all being guilty of sinne by his singuler sinfull act thou O God in thy Iustice diddest permit the naturall propagation of sinne in his off-spring which deserued such a punishment for such a sinne Hereupon it commeth that my inbred corruption and the inherent sting of sensuality in mee who sinned in Adams as Leui tithed in Abrahams loynes is not the first cause of my guilt but a fruite or reward thereof according to thy iust iudgment whence it may well bee termed the penalty of sinne For that prime sin the chiefe source of sinne which the further it runneth the faster it increaseth by this streame falling into it growes in the end to such a strong and forcible current as doth euen carry and compell me violently to sinne if thy grace do not resist the 〈◊〉 thereof because hence doe flow my sinfull passions my euill affections my sinister inclinations and from them my sinnes of action or omission which are sins of action also in their full perfection or imperfection rather which I daily or rather hourely and continually commit In which regard my woe arising from mine owne wickednesse my case is most deplorable euery way Wherefore I beseech thee with the eyes of pitty and mercy to behold it I was conceiued in sinne And therefore there is no sinne that I am not apt and ready to conceiue yea to engender and produce from imagination to assent from assent to delectation from delectation to resolution from resolution to execution if thou O Lord doe not beget me anew by the immortall seed of thy Word if thou doe not quell and extinguish in me this old seede which will alwaies be springing and sprouting in the ranke soyle of my sinfull flesh When my mother first warmed me in her bowels shee conceiued sinne when she brought me forth into the world she was deliuered of a child of sinne The child in the mothers wombe is held to be a part of the mother and vndoubtedly the mother hath a great share in the Child before shee depart with it besides her nature and substance shee imparts vnto it her qualities inclinations and dispositions being as it were a scion takē from her tree and a collop cut out of her flesh That which is borne of flesh is flesh and therefore holy 〈◊〉 asketh this vnanswerable question Who shall appeare cleane before thee or Who 〈◊〉 bring a cleane thing out of an 〈◊〉 Not onely actuall 〈◊〉 but 〈◊〉 and naturall not the second motions of it onely put into forme but the first that are vnshapen doe plot and contriue the treason are authors if not actors of it they bring fewel to the fire which afterwards is kindled and set a burning that fomentation of sinne is not onely the cause of sinne and the punishment of sinne but sinne it selfe This is that threefold cord euery part and piece whereof is sinfull that bindes me fast to the barre of thy iustice First Adam his primitiue sinne then the diriuation of sinne to all his posterity and afterwards the particular actions of sinne proceeding from them both Now if I were a sinner in my mothers wombe when and where shall I be faultlesse If I were so bad before I saw the light how should I not be much worse when through the corruption of the world and the contagion of sin I haue sucked in the infectious aire thereof How can it bee but that my inbred naughtinesse must needes gaine strength and gather increase And what can the progresse and end bee when the beginning of my life is so 〈◊〉 and sinfull If I bee cast out of my mothers wombe into the roade-way of sinne and trauell the iourney of sin still onward let mee but recount the vanity of 〈◊〉 childhood the 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 my youth the slips or rather falls of my 〈◊〉 age the infirmities of my old age and I shall 〈◊〉 finde that from my 〈◊〉 and 〈◊〉 to my death and 〈◊〉 I trod the way not of life but of sinne 5. 〈◊〉 I was conceiued in sinne 6. Behold thou louest Truth c. IN these two Ecce's which are happily sorted together I desire to intimate two remarkeable things The one is the misery of my wretched condition The other the largenesse of thy tender affection The first Ecce is on thy part Behold O Lord my conception and birth in sinne behold mee drowned and ouerwhelmed in a sea of sin The other Ecce is on my part I behold in thee O Lord a fire of loue because thou louest the least sparkles of grace in mee which mounting vpwards make me
bee without this heate he that hath that Sun cannot be without this light When my great and enormous sinnes had plunged me into the sea of misery finding no other meane of helpe in that fearefull danger I catched vp and tooke hold of the planke or boordof Repentance to saue me from drowning Repentance hath two faces and so looketh two wayes backward and forward to sinnes past and holinesse to come I haue grieuously lamented my offences formerly done and importunately begged pardon for them accounting this remission because thou art pleased O God so to esteeme it my iustification I now earnestly craue a cleane heart and a new spirit that being clensed I may keep my selfe cleane that being renewed I may entertaine newnesse of life for my sanctification For if I fall againe vpon the same rock of presumption which caused my shipwracke before it will plainely appeare that I haue not really acted but formally counterfeited repentance in which case I must pronounce an heauie doome against my selfe for dissembled holinesse is double wickednesse wickednesse masking vnder the sinfull vayle and vizard of hypocrisie Repentance neuer attaines her Crowne and Garland till shee haue brought forth amendment of life after lamentation for sin to make some kind of reparation That which thou requirest of me O God is my heart and how can I deny thee one thing that hast giuen me all things for what haue I that I haue not receiued of thee Well then I resolue as it is meet to giue thee my heart But when I looke into my heart by the helpe of thy suruey for it is thou that declarest vnto man what and how ill his heart is I finde it so foule and full of corruption as I am ashamed to present it vnto thee in that plight Nay I tremble to thinke that thy Pure and Radiant Eyes should behold such a puddle and sincke of sinne as lurketh in my heart For alas euery imagination of the thoughts of my heart is onely euill continually Were my heart such as it should be I would cheerefully giue thee my heart O Lord therefore create in mee a cleane heart Thou madest my heart first in Adam hee marred it and I in him by disobedience from him to all his posterity the contagion of this pollution is spred and propagated wherefore create my heart againe create it a cleane heart either a cleane heart or no heart at all I affect purity of heart by thy grace for indeed I cannot so much as affect much lesse effect it without thee Vnlesse thou take the worke in hand it will be vndone My heart that is originally and totally vncleane by naturall generation and daily soiled by actuall transgression cannot become cleane and neate without spirituall washing and supernaturall regeneration and that is thy proper operation Seeke not to new make mould my defiled hart out of the forebeing matter thereof That may seeme a strange enterprize and fruitlesse worke But thou O God who by thy power madest the world of nothing by thy powerfull grace Create which is thy peculiar attribute a cleane heart within me To create is not to make a thing out of the power of any subiect or matter formerly being But to create is to make a thing of nothing and that is an act of diuine power that is a case excepted and a prerogatiue reserued to thee alone The production of grace in a gracelesse heart is a wonderfull and gracious creation Create in mee powerfully and of nothing without any 〈◊〉 matter create in me 〈◊〉 and for nothing without any precedent merit of mine a pure heart so 〈◊〉 thou crowne in mee not my deserts but thine 〈◊〉 gifts if ought proceed from my heart to my tongue or hand not displeasing vnto thee Worke this worke thy selfe and take the praise of it to thy selfe alone O God Not vnto mee not vnto me I doe iterate and ingeminate my disclaymer but vnto thy Name giue all the glory It is another manner of power to make the quality then the substance of the heart yea it is a harder taske to make a heart cleane that hath beene soiled with the filth and tainted with the putrifaction of sin then to make a pure and innocent heart at the first The more shall be my thankfulnesse if thou O Lord vouchsafe me so great a fauour I will not curiously enquire into the meanes or manner of atchieuing this worke Let me henceforth really finde by the imaginations and inclinations of it that it is a cleane heart conformed as it may be in the frailty of 〈◊〉 flesh 〈◊〉 thy holy 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 all is well As a woman 〈◊〉 by the stirring of the 〈◊〉 in her wombe that 〈◊〉 hath conceiued so 〈◊〉 me feele by the effectuall motions of thy good 〈◊〉 that I am begotten anew vnto a liuely 〈◊〉 by the resurrection of Christ according to his abundant mercy The summe of all is Giue me O Lord what thou enioynest and then enioyne mee what thou pleasest I am of no ability to do what thou commandest and therefore am enforced to beseech thee thy selfe to do in me what thou requirest to bee done of me Create a cleane heart in me If my heart as the spring and conduit head be pure and cleane the waters that flow thence though conueighed in earthen pipes will be cleare still my secret thoughts my open words my visible workes though they sauour somewhat of earth and flesh will not be altogether vncleane and vnsauoury A man must bee twice borne ere he can enter into the kingdome of heauen As he is made to the similitude of the first Adam so must he be made to the similitude of the second Adam and the regeneration is a more excellent worke then the generation the re-creation then the creation In the first man was wrought out of clay in the other God workes grace out of sinne In the former he breathed a soule into the dead body here he breatheth his holy Spirit into a dead heart In the creation he made man perfect in all his members In this re-creation not only all the members of the body but the faculties of the soule also must be framed anew It is a greater matter to raise a man dead in sinne then to raise a rotten carkasse out of the graue In the one birth and the other the heart is the first 〈◊〉 that is enlyued my 〈◊〉 must first take fire 〈◊〉 can I neuer bee 〈◊〉 with the true zeale of 〈◊〉 glory and mine owne saluation In the first creation this 〈◊〉 Chaos and darke 〈◊〉 was couered by thy 〈◊〉 without any contradiction or resistance Thou spakest but the word and all was readily done and perfectly framed But in my re-creation my flesh or my spirit or my fleshly spirit doth oppose and incounter thy holy Spirit grieueth and maketh it sad laboureth to quench it euen then when it striueth to reuiue repaire and reforme me This is notoriously verified
hope and hopefull assurance of eternall happinesse This hope is the heart of my soule and the very life of my life It putteth spirit into my decayed spirit and vigor into my dead heart for a hopelesse is a heartlesse life and were it not for this hope amidst the inward and outward crosses of this life my very heart would breake All the ioyes vpon earth cannot make me cheerfull vntill I bee seized of this ioy nor can all the crosses and calamities which the world affoords dishearten me while I finde and feele this ioy of thy saluation What greater ioy to an afflicted soule lying 〈◊〉 oppressed vnder the heauy apprehension of thy wrathfull indignation and for a long and tedious time suffering euen hell out of hell then to receiue a gracious pardon of all his sinne freely granted vnto him by thee through the mediation of thy Christ sealed by thy blessed Spirit and deliuered to his spirit into the hand of faith Wherefore turne O Lord my mourning into dancing loose my sackcloth and gird mee with gladnesse O Lord let me shout out songs of deliuerance from the captiuity and thraldome of sinne and Satan I haue wilfully put my selfe out of possession of this ioy which I so happily enioyed O Lord restore it vnto me againe by a new order iniunction out of thy Court of equity and mercie let mee returne into it by Remitter hold it as in my former ancient right I haue iust cause to stile it Thy saluation For I am the patient onely thou O God the onely agent thou hast not the greatest share but all the interest in this affaire Thou art the sole not only Author but also actor in it For the purchase thereof I neede thy first grace of Initiation and thy second of Confirmation thy preuenient and thy subsequent grace thy accompanying and thy perseuering grace All is thy grace and thou art all in all and therefore to thee alone I ascribe all the honour and glory It is meerely and intirely thy saluation Christ his righteousnesse imputed and imparted to me is the true roote ioy and peace are the happy fruite and faith is the rooting of it in my soule Though there come a winter of affliction to restraine the sap and hinder the shewe yet the Summer of cheerefulnesse will make all to flourish againe in perfect lustre But how can I expect the serenity and Sunshine of this ioy in the valley of teares Why should I desire this garment of gladnesse when my heart ought cōtinually to weare the sables of sadnesse and the mourning weede of repentance for my daily or rather howrely sinnes how can there be any time or place left for ioy when there is almost a 〈◊〉 of sorrow enioyned He that will reconcile himselfe to thee O God may easily reconcile these different passions make them dwell together in his soule with amity and vnity Else thou that hast required mee oft-times to mourne wouldest neuer haue commanded mee to reioyce alwaies The faithfull man hath a sorrow mingled with ioy and a ioy mingled with sorrow There is a griefe in ioy as there is a ioy in griefe nay which may yet seeme more strange the greater griefe sometimes the greater ioy and the greater ioy the greater griefe for one and the same man at one and the same time may bee exceeding sorry for his sin and excceding ioyous with the apprehension of thy mercy in the free forgiuenesse of his sinne The greater griefe hee conceiueth for his sinne the more comfort he may iustly take euen in that regard And the greater ioy hee feeleth in the hopefull assurance of thy fauour the greater sorrow must hee needs conceiue for his sinne that bred thy displeasure for the more assurance hee hath of thy loue towards him the more hee will loue thee Loue is the loadstone 〈◊〉 loue and will draw loue euen from an yron heart and the more hee loueth thee the more his soule must melt into teares when he recounts considers how by his wicked and rebellious courses he hath demeaned himselfe wretchedly and vnworthily towards that God whom he findeth so graciously and pittifully affected towards him Sorrow may bee sometimes vnseasonable but this spirituall ioy as wee say of some kinde of meates is neuer out of season The precept of reioycing though conceiued in the affirmatiue doth alwaies binde at all times Reioyce in all things and euermore reioyce The grace I beg is the complement crowne and garland of all the graces I haue formerly craued For although I be washed neuer so cleane from my former staynes though my hart be neuer so throughly purged from old corruptions my spirit neuer so well renewed and rectified for the time to come yea though I obtaine a full restauration of the ioy of thy saluation which I had and haue lost yet vnlesse thou bee pleased to confirme and stablish me with thy firme and free 〈◊〉 none of those blessings apart nor all of them 〈◊〉 together can much auaile me For without this 〈◊〉 and establishment I 〈◊〉 neuer be able to 〈◊〉 and perseuere in true Piety of Religion in sincere probity of 〈◊〉 Well I may like a bankrupt Marchant supplied by friends or credit set vp my trade of godlinesse awhile but I shall soone be enforced to shut vp shop againe Well I may beginne to runne the race of godlinesse but I shall neuer get the goale well I may enter the lists afresh with my old and deadly enemy the Deuill and his two valiant Champions the World and the Flesh but I shall quickly be foyled I shall neuer 〈◊〉 the victory fully and finally Wherefore do not onely raise mee that am falne but vphold me when I am raised sustaine mee continually with thy firme Spirit that I may not onely begin well and proceed cheerefully but also perseuere constantly and end happily I did endeauour when time was in some sort to serue and please thee I frequented publike assemblies in thy holy Tabernacle I sent vp sundry Prayers from my priuate Oratory and the secret closer of my heart vnto thy Maiestie I laboured to gouerne my people with Iustice and equity to punish wilfull offenders seuerely to reward well-deseruers cheerefully to deliuer the oppressed to relieue the needy but this notwithstanding how soone alas was I taken with the sight of Bathsheba and through my frailty carried captiue into Adultery to satisfie my 〈◊〉 and into Murther to conceale my Adultery Wherefore settle confirme and establish me O Lord. I haue directed generally All you that trust in the Lord be strong and hee shall establish your heart he keepeth the faithfull and vpholdeth the iust by him alone the steps of men are established that is firmely directed and perfected My spirit which must bee wrought vpon by thy Spirit through the contagion of my flesh and the carnality of it is become almost wholly carnall and by that meanes weake and fraile soone weary of well doing it
the house of thy habitation I euen I that lost my way in my pilgrimage and fell among theeues who robbed me of my garment of godlinesse of my 〈◊〉 of righteousnesse of my girdle of gladnesse and wounded mee with bitter Arrowes and 〈◊〉 darts almost to death I I say being reduced into the way againe refreshed and comforted raysed and set on horsebacke as it were will teach others carefully to kepe themselues in the right way to shunne idlenesse and security and all other occasions of sinne to auoyde such inconueniences as by wofull experience I haue found and felt with intolerable griefe I will teach Transgressors by instruction and 〈◊〉 will teach them by example also Men are more effectually perswaded by the workes they see then by the words they heare by Princes acts then by their Edicts I will ioyne both precept and practice together my words shall bee working words and my deeds shal be speaking deeds Nay I will not only teach them by my words and by my deedes but by my writings also I will cause my Psalmes the webs which my restlesse soule hath wouen to be sung in Gods Tabernacle while I liue when I die bequeath them to God his Church to be vsed in all succeeding ages which I hope will bee of some force to mollifie and qualifie the hard and stony hearts of retchlesse and impenitent sinners I will vse all the wayes I can to teach sinners in thy wayes and I will endeauour to reclaime all sorts of sinners from their euill wayes As there bee seuerall sorts and degrees of transgressors so I will apply my counsailes and admonitions in seuerall kindes respectiuely I will teach sinners of infirmity that they yeeld not at all to the assaults and allurements of sinne that they fight couragiously in that neuer-dying combate betweene the flesh and the Spirit that in no wise they suffer themselues to be carried away Captiues to sinne that they let not sinne raigne howsoeuer it will remaine in their mortall bodies I can and will tell them out of knowledge and experience that if they giue the water passage but a little they shall not bee able to withstand the Current of their owne concupiscence that a little sparke of a wanton looke vpon Bathsheba bred such a huge flame of lust in mee as I could not quench That Satan is subtile and will cunningly insinuate himselfe euery way hee will seeke to make the breach where thy fortification is weakest hee will vndermine if hee cannot batter thy strongest castle if he see where thou mynest he will countermine That he makes semblance sometimes to strike at one place when he intends to hit another that now and then he faignes to make a retraite when he returnes suddenly againe to finde thee the more vnprouided That he is like those Pyrates which alwaies carry in their shippes flags of peace when they intend nothing but warre that when they hold out those flagges their enemies may hold them for friends and so become their prisoners and that therefore it behoueth them to watch continually and carefully to keepe Centinell ouer themselues and in time of peace more then in time of warre The shippe that saileth many times incurres more danger when the Sea is quiet then when stormes arise for in the calme water the Saylers ride without care or dread of danger but in time of tempest they prouide for euery mischiefe that may befall I will tell them that sinners are linked and chayned nexed and twisted together so as one still draweth on another and the lesser euer a greater that Satan that foule thiefe and old Setter hath in each pack of Theeues little sins like little boyes to creepe in at the windowes or other narrower passages then open dores for greater sinners like greater theeues to enter sreely so spoile the goodman of the house of all goodnesse vertue at their pleasure I will teach sinners of presumption that as God is mercifull so hee is iust that wee must not so remember his mercy as we forget his Iustice. Our Lord is sweete but yet vpright All his wayes are mercy and truth These bee the two feete whereby hee walketh in his wayes that euery sinner that will truly turne to God must lay handfast on both these feete for if he lay hold on mercy onely letting passe iustice and truth he must needes perish by presumption If he apprehend Iustice onely without mercy he cannot but perish by desperation Let him therfore kisse both these feete that hee may in respect of Gods iustice retaine feare in respect of his mercy conceiue hope I 〈◊〉 teach them to tune their notes to my ditty I 〈◊〉 sing of mercy and 〈◊〉 I will not sing vnto thee 〈◊〉 mercy alone nor iudgement alone O God 〈◊〉 mercy and iudgement ioyned together I will teach them what an absurd cōsequence and vnkindly kind of reasoning it is In as much as God is merciful louing and long suffering therefore I will abuse his mercy and continue my wicked courses I will doe what liketh my wilfull appetite that the Argument in morall congruity as well as logicall diuinity holds strongly in the quite contrary forme God is gracious and expects my conuersion and the longer he expecteth the heauier will bee my punishment when it commeth if I neglect or rather contemne the riches of his patience and gentlenesse and therefore I ought euen to day before to morrow to heare his voyce and presently to accept of his vndeserued mercie Whereunto I will adde another consideration of great waight and much feare and that is Though God promise pardon to him that repents yet hee doth not promise repentance to him that offends Repentance is his gift alone Though hee offer thee grace to day thou knowest not whether hee will offer it againe to morrow though hee affoord thee life and memory this weeke little doest thou know whether thou shalt enioy these fauours the next Finally I will teach them to take my whole period together and not to catch at one piece onely for their aduantage or disaduantage rather which is against the rules both of Law and Logicke for when I haue said The eyes of the Lord are vpon the iust and his eares are bent to heare his prayers I adde on the other side in the same sentence But the face of the Lord is against them that doe euill to roote out their memory from off the earth My last Corollarie and conclusion shall be Blessed is the man that feareth the Lord Therefore serue the Lord in feare and reioyce in him with reuerence I will teach transgressors in all kindes and degrees that they doe not at any hand through the terrour of their owne sinnes or apprehension of Gods displeasure either by cowardize or carelesnesse quite despaire of Gods abundant mercie I will vse my best
so euen thy praises must come from thy 〈◊〉 to set forth thy glory Thou desirest not sacrifice else would I giue it or had giuen it In regard of the heauy burthen of many sins oppressing my soule and the feareful apprehension of thy iust indignation conceiued against me to ease and free my selfe to appease and please thee what would I not doe what would I not suffer what would I not offer But I haue nothing whereby I might redeeme thy fauour towards mee For if I had Mountaines of Gold if I had Riuers of Oyle if I had tenne thousand sacrifices to bestow vpon thee it booted mee nothing they are all thine owne already and besides thou makest not account or esteeme of any of these things at all which I doe not deliuer to disallow or altogether disualue all kinde of 〈◊〉 by slaughter of Beasts and Birds appointed by thee and prescribed by thine owne Law but because these are signes onely and representations to the weake capacities of mortall men of that reall effectuall renowned and eternall sacrifice once to be offered for the redemptition of mankinde I know O Lord by the illumination of thy holy Spirit that it is an inward and internall not an outward or externall sacrifice which thou being a spirit delightest in Thou lookest vpon the heart and pious affections thereof alone I conceiue that to draw thine owne people from the superstitious Idolatry whereunto the Gentiles through the blindnesse of their vnderstanding and the delusions of Satan were so prone and so much addicted and to teach them to embrace such worship of thee as thou shouldest prescribe not themselues 〈◊〉 thou hast instituted sundry kindes of sacrifices vpon seuerall occasions to be offered vnto thee with an indulgent respect to our infirmity who being carnall delight in outward shewes without which wee cannot so easily comprehend those inward seruices and spirituall duties to bee performed by vs and euer with relation to the true substance of the hearts affections to be erected and consecrated wholly to thine honour For thou hast not 〈◊〉 or 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 for thy selfe 〈◊〉 wouldest not drinke the bloud of Bulls and Goats The eternall God doth neither hunger nor thirst c. But a single and sincere minde fearing God of those that offer such things as they haue from thee is a sweet smelling and well-pleasing sacrisice to thee by thy gracious acceptation who dost not so much regard the thing that is done in this kinde as the minde where with it is done and the end wherfore it is done to wit thine owne glory Thou dost not respect the shadow but the substance not the shel but the kernell not the chaffe but the corne not the signe but the thing signified At least thou doeft not esteem the type without the truth nor the figure in any degree of comparison with that which is represented thereby and therewith to be presented vnto thee that is a broken heart The sacrifices of God in the plurall number because this one is many sacrifices this one is all the sacrifices that thou expectest at our hands A broken heart a contrite spirit diuers words importing one and the same thing is a heart wounded a spirit deiected and perplexed with the sight and sense of sin committed mourning and melting into teares through the remorse of conscience grieuously lamenting that it was so wretched and wicked as gracelesly and vngratefully to reiect the iust lawes of so powerfull a Iudge and to neglect the kinde inuitations of so pittifull a Father and all for a little vaine idle foolish frothy and fruitlesse pleasure which was mingled with 〈◊〉 in that little time wherein it was so greedily 〈◊〉 and pleasingly 〈◊〉 Now 〈◊〉 doth thy gracious goodnesse wonderfully shew and 〈◊〉 forth it selfe that thou not only 〈◊〉 to teach vs what to doe and what to say how to 〈◊〉 our actions and frame our supplications that both in word and deed wee may please thee but also whē we haue offēded displeased thee to tell vs how to pacifie and appease thee againe The Sacrifices of God are c. Nay further thou dost not require such a sacrifice as must be procured and purchased from abroad with much care and cost farre fetcht and deare bought as they say but such a sacrifice as we haue or may haue in our owne bosomes 〈◊〉 à te extrâ to quaeritur Thou requirest nothing from mee but what is within mee Beyond all this thou doest vs the honour and trustest vs with the office of Priests that wee may be sure to see this Sacrifice duly performed We must our selnes for our 〈◊〉 offer vp our 〈◊〉 in humility contrition which is 〈◊〉 only 〈◊〉 and vnbloody 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 and 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 thee Euery 〈◊〉 as a 〈◊〉 Priest 〈◊〉 a victime within 〈◊〉 to offer the franke-Incense that must be put vpon the Altar in his owne bowells in his owne heart a Sacrifice that is of force to 〈◊〉 and winne thee to compassion he neede not seeke for a beast abroade to slaughter and burne to ashes he hath within himselfe that hee may and should kill He may slay sin he may mortify his earthly members he may strike with the hammer of sound repentance vpon the hard Anuile of his stony heart till it be mollified bruised and brayed to pieces and then it will be thy time turne as it is thy greatest honour to binde vp and heale the wounded and broken hearted Hee may kill and sacrifice to thee his Bull of pride his Goat of lasciuiousnesse his Ramme of stubbornenes his Birds of flying and wandering imaginations and so the rest of his carnall sensuall affections which being beastly doe turne men into beasts defacing that Image of thee wherein they were created to holinesse and righteousnesse The morall whereof is this He may in a life of vertue and piety offer vp the death of his vices iniquities to thee He that repents his sins doth chide and braule quarrell and brabble hee doth expostulate and fall out with himselfe in this tune Oh vnhappy wretch why wouldest how couldest thou so basely stoope to the lure of fleshly wantonnesse of wordly profit of spitefull reuenge of trecherous infidelity how couldest thou be induced to sell thine inheritance for a mesle of Pottage thy euer during treasure in heauen for a little flitting and vnconstant trash of the world What fruite hast thou now of 〈◊〉 the forbidden fruite of enioying those sinfull and momentany pleasures whereof thou art so much ashamed was not the terrible voice of the Law thundring out hell and damnation of power to fright thee from rebellion were not the sweete promises of the Gospell of force to inuite thee to the 〈◊〉 and constant seruice of God Nay beyond chiding and brauling a true penitent must chastise and punish himselfe Thy Lustice O God although it be fully satisfied by that all sufficient obedience and propitiatory Sacrifice of the Lambe
slaine from the beginning of the world yet as a fruite of our repentance expects from vs a holy reuenge vpon our selues We must iudge our selues that wee bee not iudged and least our iudgements become fruitlesse and elusory We must put them in execution seuerely without pitty or partiality Let vs therefore preuent his face of Maiesty his countenance of Authority by confession wich confession is a profession of forsaking our former faults The Iudge we cannot the iudgement we may preuent if we take the opportunity and repent truly and timely of our sinnes thou wilt mercifully and graciously repent thee of the iudgements denounced doomed against vs. Therefore it be houeth euery man to keepe a Court at home and therin to sit as chiefe iustice to indict and arraigne himself at the barre of his owne conscience where he findes the fault there to inflict punishment In as much as at these Assizes the heart must needes be found the greatest offender because from the heart doth flow all vaine and sinfull imaginations all idle and wicked words all lewde and scandalous actions let him doe Iustice vpon his heart in the first place let him correct the pride of it by humiliation the wantonnesse of it by contrition the iolity of it by sorrow the stubornenesse of it by weeping the gluttony of it by fasting the couetousnesse of it by almes-giuing and so according to the rule of Physicke cure each contrary by his contrary affection The physicke must bee applied to that part of the body which is ill affected the salue laid vpon the place that is sore Where the sinne breedes swels there must the sinner cut and launce He must pricke his heart to the quicke and let out store of teares as the former and latter rayne As our hearts haue beene fatted and pampered as it were with sinne so they should grow leane and meagre againe by sorrow for sinne Looke how much the lesse I spare my selfe so much the more wilt thou spare me My repentance doth in a sort execute thy vengeance and with a temporall vexation doth preuent and auoide thine eternall damnation by casting me downe it lifts me vp by making me vgly in mine own it presents me pure in thine eyes by accusing it doth excuse by condemning it doth acquite me It is a kind of vnhappinesse to be seared and cauterized with an hot yron and fretted with an eating powder but those meanes and medicines which doe cure by sharpenesse and sowernesse by the benefit which they procure doe excuse their distastfulnes and by the succeeding profit do allay the present paine By sin thy spirit takes occasiō to increase grace not by the nature of sinne but by the soueraignety of that spirit which euen of sinnes makes a plaister against sin For I being as sicke of sorrow as of sinne may hopefully resort to thee the Physitian of my soule whose end of comming into the world is to cure the sicke especially such as feele themselues sicke enen at the heart I must breake my golden Calfe that is any idoll of sinne which my corrupt heart doth serue and worship I must burne it with zeale and with contrition grinde it to powder and then strowing it vpon the water of teares drinke it vp againe By this thy gracious meanes an Antidote will bee drawne out of poyson the oyle will cure the bitings of Scorpions the worme wil gnaw the wood the moth the cloth that bred it the very excrements of my sinfull soule like dung and mannor will fatten and make it fruitefull in goodnesse The hunted and wounded Hart by eating of an herbe knows how to helpe and heale himselfe and to make the arrow that pierced his ribbes to fall to the ground The Swallow when she hath put out the eyes of her young ones knowes by an herbe of her owne name how to restore their sight againe Thy herbe of grace the iuyce whereof is our repentance doth expell the fiery darts of Sathan shot by sinne into our soules and this eye-salue doth cause vs though neuer so much blinded with sinne to see both our error in committing and thy mercy in pardoning our offences The most powerfull rhetoricke to mooue thee to pitty is repentance and the most delightfull Musicke in thine eares is that dolefull ditty tuned to a trembling tongue and a quauering voyce peccaui in coelum c. Against thee against thee onely I haue offended The string bends the strongest bowe the fire mollifies the hardest steel the Goates blood breakes euen the Adamant I hope my harts humble and melting repentance will appease thy hottest and heauiest indignation conceiued against me The most worne and torne linnen by contusion and grinding in the Mill makes smooth and white paper Euen so my most base and rotten ragges of vanity and wickednesse by true contrition with thy benediction will produce a cleane heart and renew a right spirit within mee The corruption and consumption of the one will prooue the generation or regeneration of the other To sacrifice to kill are expressed by one and the same word in holy writ because euery sacrifice was slaine in thy Leuiticall lawe but this breaking of my heart and offering my body in sacrifice to thee is an Euangelicall sacrifice because therin which may seeme strange the sacrifice is slaine and yet liueth For it is my faith not my death which thou seekest thou thirstest for my holy desires not my polluted blood thou art appeased with my willingnesse to renounce the world not with my departure out of the world This was Abraham the Father of all thy faithfull ones his sacrifice which thou requiredst of him For what did Abraham but offer his owne body in his Son What didst thou require of him but his Faith who as thou diddest command his Sonne to be offered so thou wouldest not suffer him to be killed I hold it a wise and an aduantageous course in any man to dye to sinne that hee may liue to righteousnesse to mortifie the old man that hee may bee quickened in the new to dye daily that hee may liue eternally Wherefore I will dye that I may not dye I will wound my hart with temporary contrition that I may auoyde the deadly wounds of 〈◊〉 who desires my euerlasting destruction I will liue a dying life that I may not dye a 〈◊〉 death For thy sake are we killed all the day long and right deare in thy sight is this death of thy Saints Here I can bee contented to stirre vp an holy emulation betweene those that thus dye and such as are stoned burned or otherwise done to death for defence of thine honor and testimony of thy trueth who by excellency are termed Martyrs These dye but once and at once their paine is soone past but the other dye a lingering death they dye daily and continually It is accounted a mittigation of cruelty and a
a greater cannot be bestowed vpon the soule of man whiles it is confined within this valley of teares inclosed within this bodie of death And because through the frailty of my flesh and the fraud of Satan I am so prone to recidiuation and backe shding so ready to fall away from thee euen 〈◊〉 many Apostasies pardoned vnlesse I be still vpheld and supported giue me thy free spirit that 〈◊〉 may cheerefully thy firme spirit that I may constantly accomplish thy blessed will and 〈◊〉 in 〈◊〉 good duties that 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 vnto me And for that thankefulnesse is the best returne for benefits receiued and the strongest meanes to purchase new fauours giue mee grace as to promise so to performe gratitude euery way and euermore highly to esteeme and zealously to affect the reducing reclaiming and conuerting of sinners and impious persons those that erre in their religion or conuersation or both as the most acceptable seruice that can be done vnto thee vpon earth Teach me to vse all earnest compellation and powerfull insinuation to winne thy fauour againe when I haue forfeited it by committing some grieuous sin especially quicken mee by faith to make a particular application and appropriation as it were of thy saluation to mine owne soule which pious presumption and holy ambition thou art well pleased withall Giue me grace with the deepest straine of my hart and the loudest tone and tune of my voyce to magnifie thy marueilous goodnesse Though I be lesse then the least of thy mercies yet teach me in duty and discretion for more bountifull fauours to returne more plentifull praises If I be deliuered from a crying sinne I ought of congruence to sing aloud of thy iustice which giuing assurance of thy mercy by performance of thy couenant of grace cannot but produce an exultation of the heart and an exaltation of the voyce and tongue in the celebration of thy iust praises But alas how can I make that poore returne for thy rich mercies which mee thinkes I ought to vowe and promise When all is done I must therein also craue thy blessed assistance that thou wilt be pleased to open my lips and to vntie my tongue strings I must owe thee for that grace also and goe on thy score euen for those praises which onely by Eccho I resound vnto 〈◊〉 Blessed be thy name O Lord who in my deepest distresse and heauiest condition for my sinnes when I seeke for ease and reliefe tellest mee the meanes whereby thine anger may be appeased and thy fauour redeemed Thou requirest no sacrifice that with labour and charge should bee purchased abroad but such as is or should be at home and within me thou expectest no other satisfaction from me but the humiliation of my proud heart and the sorrow of my rebellious soule O wonderfull goodnesse O vnspeakeable mercie What more fauourable termes can be deuised or propounded then that thou wilt accept my submission and reconciliation so as I will aske thee forgiuenesse humbly and freely professe and expresse effectually mine hearty repentance for the manifold sinnes I haue committed against thy divine Maiestie Out of the the apprehension of this louing kindnesse and tender compassion if there were nothing else I ought to melt into teares of griefe breake my heard hart bruize my obstinate spirit which haue transported me so farre and plunged me so deepe into thy displeasure O Lord inable mee whom thou hast ordained a Priest for this purpose to offer daily and duly this acceptable sacrifice vnto thee which I should the more willingly present because it no way intends the destruction of my body but the correctiō of my soule I am only to slay my sensuality to quell my vnruly affections and subdue them to thy holy will for mine own good not to impech nature but to increase grace and for my better incouragemēt to this mortification thou art graciously pleased to vse this protestation that If I iudge my selfe thou wilt not iudge me if I chastise my selfe thou wilt not condemne mee if I execute my owne iust and vnpartiall sentence against mine owne heart the capitall offender thou wilt fauourably spare and mercifully pardon mee for euer O Lord I pray not for my selfe alone but for thy whole Church wheresoeuer dispersed howsoeuer distressed vpon the face of the earth As I pray that thou wilt bee mercifull to mee particularly so I beg also that thou wilt be fauourable to Sion vniuersally Being a member of that mystical body whereof thy Christ is the head so long as I haue spirituall life in me I cannot but resent such afflictions as any of thy chosen do sustaine ô Lord I pray thee for Ierusalem the kingdom wherein I liue that peace may be within her walls prosperity in her palaces I cannot but out of honest affection wish well to my brethren neighbours and companions that their persons may be protected their walls of wood or stone reedifyed fo often as neede requireth that not for necessity onely but for comelinesse also But I must still professe that I regard the Case for the 〈◊〉 sake which is compassed therewith the Common-wealth for thy house and that portion of thy Church that is preserued therein I respect chiefely Sion thy darling and the ioy of the whole earth My precious goods are imbarqued in that ship What fortune betides them I am contented shall befall me I will sympathise reioyce and mourne with them vpon all occasions I doe acknowledge no neerer affinity no deerer consanguinity no better fraternity then is Christianity nay my spirituall kindred is of more esteeme with mee 〈◊〉 any naturall or legall coniunction whatsoeuer O Lord shew thy fauor to Sion for thy good pleasures sake shee hath no other motiue to induce thee no other mediator to intercede with thee Bee gracious to her for his sake in whom thou art well pleased Be pleased of thy selfe thine owne goodnes for thy selfe thine owne glory to shew this loue vnto thy Spouse though foule in her owne nature yet faire by thy gracious acceptation These graces O Lord which I begge zealously for my selfe and others I beseech thee to grant mercifuly that I may 〈◊〉 thee with prayse and prayse thee with loue that I may thankefully acknowledge thy gracious goodnesse and in testimony thereof render vnto thee all honour and glory all manner of prayses and thankes all the dayes of my life euen for euer and euer Amen FINIS Bern. ad frat in Mon. Tertul. de Paenit Aug. in 〈◊〉 51. Chrysost. in hunc Psalmum Psal. 103. Melius impressum quà m expressum innotescit In his non capit intelligentia nisi quantum attingit 〈◊〉 Bern. in Cant. 3. Qui non gustauerit non intelliget quà m 〈◊〉 sapit mel Aug. in Psal. 30. Rom. 5. Miserationum Dei nec magnitudo mensurari nec multitudo numerari potest Basil. Ierem. 31. Psal. 38. Iob. 7. Iohn 13. Rom. 12. 〈◊〉