Tim. 4.15 Coloss 2.1 I conclude that surely they have many agonies and conflicts in their hearts for us Wherefore Oh my soul while I carefully expect the hour of my own travell how much am I to blame that I so little so seldom or never consider the travell of my Ministers soul often have I been pricked in conscience by his goad and nails Eccl. 12.11 often wounded by the sword of the Spirit bruised and smitten down by the hammer of the word and surely his stimulating reproofs his keen admonitions and knocking terrours proceeded from his longing desire of my conversion But when he hath after long striving been in hopes of my returne how have I by relapses and fresh miscarriages vext his righteous soul and quencht his new conceived hopes of me yea like those inconstant Galatians I have caused him again and again to travell with me in birth How just were it with God to plague me with a tedious painfull and fruitlesse travell and to make me read my sin and feel its bitternesse in so suceable a punishment But Oh my God remit the evills I have committed work in me what thou hast required and compleat in me what thy grace hath begun Let not the guide of my soul labour in vain but let him see of the travell of his soul and let me be among those children of whom my pious teacher shall hereafter say Lord here am I and the children which thou hast given me Then also shall I with more confidence expect to have benefit by his prayers for me when my body is in travell if God shall thus blesse and answer him in his prayers and travell for the new birth of my soul MEDITATION 12. I find it frequent in Scripture that the most dreadful judgements on the wicked are thus exprest Psal 48.6 Isa 23.4 Jer. 48.41 c. 49.42 c. 50.43 that Anguish shall take hold of them as of a woman in travel and that sudden destruction shall come upon them as upon a woman in travel and they shall not escape Wherefore oh my soul as Abraham when he had promise of a child Gen. 18.14.22 did presently intercede as far as he durst in behalf of wicked Sodom so let me ever remember to pray for the worst of men though perhaps they scorn and despise me and my Prayers Oh my God deale not with them after their sins but cause the wickednesse of the wicked to come to an end Psal 7.9 that the wicked themselves may not come to a sad end So persecute them with thy tempest make them afraid with thy storm that they may seeke thy face Oh Lord. Psal 83.15 And in whatever place or nation thy judgments shall enter yet if there be but a few righteous persons among them spare them from totall destruction and let not thy wrath come upon them to the uttermost MEDITATION 13. I find also that the sorrows of the people of God when God seemes to forsake them John 16 21.22 Jer. 6.24 c. 22.23 c. 30.6 Isa 26.17 18. c. 37. 3 the calamities of the church when God is pleased to correct them and the miserable disappointment of a Church hoping for reformation and endeavouring in vain for a deliverance from idolatry and oppression are also expressed by the pain and misery of women in travell Now Oh my soul how can I but observe two things from hence The one is that 't is surely the will of God that I should not confine my care to the concernments of my private condition but should labour for a publick Spirit such as was in that good woman 1 Sam. 4.19 20 21. the wife of Phinebas who was with child and near to be delivered and when she heard the tidings that the Ark of God was taken and that her father in law and her husband were dead she bowed her selfe and travelied for her pains came upon her And about the time of her death the women that stood by her said fear not for thou hast born a son but she answered not neither did she regard it And she named the child Jchabod saying the glory is departed from Israel because the Ark of God was taken and because of her father in law and her husband And she said the glory is departed from Israel for the Ark of God is taken Blessed woman worthy of everlasting fame and imitation She took no comfort in her deliverance though she had a son while the Church of God was not delivered Oh that the same mind might be in me that I might learn also to be more affected with the affairs of the Church That if women may not be common actors of publick affairs yet we may be specially mourners for publick miseries Alas what is my danger to the universall danger my travell to the travell of the Church what comfort to me to have many children except I might see the good of Gods chosen Psal 106. â— what content have I in being delivered from my pains unlesse God deliver Israel from all its troubles Psal 37.40 what delight had Abraham in all his mercies while he went childlesse or I in all my children if the children of God be comfortlesse Oh my God blesse me out of Zion and thus let me be blessed as those are that feare the Lord Psal 128 3 4 5 6. let me not onely be a fruitfull vine but let me see the good of Jerusalem all my dayes Let me not only see my childrens children but peace upon Israel But from the manner of holy Writ to compare almost all miseries whether inward or outward whether of good men or of bad to the pains of women in travell as the fittest embleme of extreme conflicts and agonies I must needs conclude that there is no sorrow like unto that sorrow and no evill like that sin that caused it no danger like that danger and therefore no Saviour like him who can deliver from it Wherefore while my life hangs in suspense my soul is distracted between fear and hope my mind is appall'd my heart melts and is even faint when I consider that hour of torment approaching Let me yet further inquire Oh my soul what duties are yet behind in order to making my peace with God and let nothing hinder or divert my present religious and heavenly imployment till I have brought my mind into some setled posture ready to abide whatever shall happen So much for the duty of Meditation now to the rest CHAP. VI. Resignation to the will of God the duty of Women with child TO submit and resign our wills to the will of God in all things is a most desirable and comfortable temper in any man or woman T is indeed the sum of most duties and a compendium of many virtues He that can thus receive the Kingdome of God as a little child Mark 10.15 with Selfe denyal and humble dependance on our Father in heaven he shall in time by thus subjecting himself
the leaven of Popery for you need not make auricular confession to a Priest nor seek Popish absolution from a Confessor nor expect their injunction of some tedious or ridiculous penance nor esteem penance a Sacrament nor undertake a fruitless or idolatrous pilgrimage or think to satisfie God by some good works for any sin past nor be at cost to purchase an indulgence or to buy a pardon from that man of sinne Onely be faithfull and just in confession to God 1 Joh. 1.9 Psal 38.13.32.5 Isa 33.24 and he will be faithful to forgive Yea as soon as thou resolvest in thine heart with David no longer to conceal thy transgressions but to acknowledge them to God he will forgive Renew this practice as often and with as much sorrow and contrition as you can and the Father of mercies will surely heare thee bemoaning thy self Jer. 31.18 wil remember thine iniquity no more And therefore abound in secret mourning Psal 85.8 Isa 32.6 till thou hearest what God will speak he will speak peace to his people but let them not return again to folly Make it therefore thy chief aim in repenting to be renewed in the inner parts to have a new heart Ezek. 36.26 2 Cor. 5.17 Eph. 4.24 and a new spirit that so all old things may passe away and all things become new Whereas if you spend never so much time and strength in confession lamentation and supplication and yet your heart unchanged you will notwithstanding return with the swine to her wallowing in the mire How many such penitents hath the Church been pestered with many men in sickness many women when neer their travel have seemed serious converts and have uttered many penitential desires and purposes both to God and man but when once they are delivered they forget their obligations to God and suffer seven Worse devils to enter Mat. is 45 And therefore make as sure work with your deceitful hearts as you can by mournful confession severe mortification more holy conversation c. (a) Thus should good women make amends for their first offence Eve no sooner received an ill motion but she delivers it to Adam so they should no sooner receive good but they should impart it Bish Hall's Contemplation lib. 10 p. 195. Communicate your zeal to others reprove rebuke exhort and warn your family night and day with tears bring forth fruit meet for repentance that others may see you have been with Jesus This do and continue doing while you yet are upon your legs and while you have breath in your nostrils and then you shall find your labour not in vain in the Lord but a means to support you under bodily labour Then you shall see of the travel of your soul when God shall assist you in the hour of travel Therefore gird up the loyns of your mind be intent and sedulous in this great work of making peace with God and he will deliver you in that critical hour Psal 50. â—â— and raise you up that you may glorifie him CHAP. IV. Reading of Scriptures the duty of women with child (a) Qui valt cum Dee semper esse semper debet erare legere Ang de â—emp Ser. â— GOd gave no small gift to the world in giving the light of the Sun which among visible creatures is the highest emblem of his own Essence and glory without which the whole earth would languish and be worse then a howling wilderness But it was a greater to give to our souls understanding and immortality whereby we transcend all sublunary creatures and are capable of communion with God and his Angels without which we could never aspire to Heaven above but must have been slaves to the meanest creatures upon earth And yet it was a far richer benefit to mankind to give us the written Word and the greatest next to Jesus Christ the essential Word which the Father of Lights could have bestowed on the world in comparison of its greater glory the light of the Sun hath no glory By this our understandings are made wise and our immortality made happy The Scriptures are the mysteries of Gods eternal counsel the protraicture of those infinite perfections that lay hidden in his breast from all eternity the written copy of that Law God which was originally written in the heart of Adam the onely supreme rule of good and evil They contain such knowledge as will enlarge ravish and transform a teachable and studious soul In the volumn of this book it is written of Christ that God of Gods Psal 40. â—â— that Head of Angels that King of Kings whose Incarnation is the Mysterie of Mysteries and whose work of Redemption is the summe of all Mercies In a word in them is an exact map of the heavenly Canaan an exact delineation of the way thereunto and a full account of the deeds and evidences of our inheritance therein How abominable then is the blasphemy of the apostate Papists (a) B. Jewels reply to Hard. Art 15. fol. 518. who equal the Pope or a Councel or Traditions with the Scripture and speak dishonourably of the authorityand sufficiency of the sacred Volumn Doctor Jackson on the Creed lib. 2. sect 1. ch 1. pag. 238. ad 405. And how intolerable is that bloudy crew Alphonsus Castrens de punit haeret lib. 3. Cap. 6. which will inflict the most cruel deaths on those of the Laity that procure a Bible in their vulgar tongue (b) Scripta divina haereticorum fraudes convincit furta detegir Tertul. lib. de Trin. unwilling they are that their folly should be made manifest to all men and women knowing that ignorance is the mother of their idolatrous devotions But to leave controversies let me go on and remember those women to whom I speak that it is their duty to read their happiness to enjoy 1 Basil by his Nurse Macrina Bas cp 74. 〈◊〉 Polycarp ad Philippenses Origen in Levit hom 9. August in Psal 33. Heron. in Coloss 3. Chrysost in Joh. â—om 1. â—libi saepiùs and should be their delight to peruse the holy Scriptures Certain we are that God commanded all Parents to teach their children the words of his Law and that accordingly Solomon was instructed by his Mother Apollos by Priscilla Timothy by his Grandmother Lois 2 Both the Greek and Latine Fathers did use with all vehemency to exhort their hearers to get them Bibles and read the Scriptures at home and to talke of them to each other without exception of sex or age Yea saith a Popish writer lest women should be thought to be excluded from the study of the Scriptures there is a tradition that (a) M. Maâ—ulus Spalatens de vitâ per exempla religiose instit l. 2. cap. 5. Trap. on Luk. 1 51. And doubtlesse the elect Lady to whom St. John wrot an Epistle might as lawfully read other Scriptures as that Ep. the Mother of our Lord
â—â—perbissiâ—oruÌ„ origo Plin. nat â—ist l. 7. c. 7. The child in my womb is made of the like substance as I was And though I now have growth strength beauty or comelinesse yet I was once imperfect enough when I was newly begotten of man and conceived in the womans womb Alas how vile are those materials of which my body was made Scripture draws a veyl of modest and metaphorical expressions over this unsightly act of generation And when I consider oh my soul the poor original of my body Alas what preheminence have I herein above a beast what cause to abhorre all thoughts of pride and to walk humbly all my dayes If the Peacock let fall his plumes when he beholds his black feet have not I cause to be cast down with a less esteem of my self Phil. 3.21 when I consider my vile body In nothing more vile then in its first coagulation of ignoble matter MEDITATION 5. Thou hast cloathed me with skin and flesh Job 10.11 thou hast fenced me with bones and sinews Though in regard of the matter and manner of my generation my body is no better then a bag of flegm a lump of blood a moistened clod of earth yet when I raise my mind to the work of my Creator who fashioned me round about covered me in my mothers womb and formed me in the lowest parts of the earth I have then no cause to say to my Father what hast thou begotten or to my Creator why hast thou made me thus If I may in every creature see some prints and footsteps of the wisdome power and goodnesse of God in their formation production and conservation of their kind in a continual succession for the use of man how much more cause have I to search out this work of God in which there is as much of excellency curiosity and exactnesse of skill as in all the creation besides Much is said by Philosophers Physicians Anatomists c. concerning this great secret of Nature the Child in the Womb. They speak with much probability and rational conjecture of the manner and matter of generation conceptions of the very day when the womb by its natural heat begins to operate towards it when it receives its first change into a fleshy substance what day the brain heart and liver begin to be distinguished and when it receives a humane shape in other parts though the whole be no bigger then a small flie Also how it is nourished and in what place and posture it lies if male and in what if female What day it receives by the gift of God a living soul and when it begins to stir and calcitrate in the womb c. But the further I dive and search into this matter the more I am at a loss still new questions do arise which I cannot resolve Ps 139.6 Even this knowledge is too wonderfull for me Solomon hath put a question which I think himself could hardly answer Knowest thou how the bones do grow in the womb of her that is with child Eccls 11.5 Therefore oh my soul let mesing that song of David and if possible with Davids heart I will praise thee Psal 139.14 15 16 17. for I am fearfully and wonderfully made marvellous are thy works and that my soul knoweth right well My substance was not hid from thee when I was made in secret and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth Thine eyes did see my substance yet being imperfect and in thy book all my members were written which in continuance were fashioned when as yet there were none of them How precious also are thy thoughts unto me O God how great is the summe of them But I must not I cannot here leave off this delightful Meditation but must again praise the Lord for that he hath not executed the curse of Adam to the uttermost upon us Though sin hath robbed us of many most desirable perfections yet there is that left with which and for which we may glorifie God If we survey the frame and building of this earthly tabernacle we shall find that rare fitness of every part and that symmetry of the whole that we cannot but say its builder and maker is God What shall I say of the several members and particles of our bodies of the scituation of the more noble parts and subordination of the rest of the influences of the higher parts on those that are less noble of the many channels of conveyance whereby the inner parts transmit bloud strength and spirits to the exteriour and most remote What of the beauty strength tenderness majesty and singular faculties of some parts of the contiguities and artificial connexion of all parts what of the sagacity of the five senses the mixture of the four elements the correspondence our bodies have with all creatures the resemblance of the three regions yea of the three heavens c. For which causes Man is called a little world the measure of all things the pattern of the Vniverse the miracle of miracles c. Yea mans body is yet in regard of its majesty strength beauty and noble faculties of its several parts in some measure after the image of God (a) 2 Chr. 16.9 Dan. 9.18 Psal 34.16 Job 40 9. Psal 74.3 Isa 49.16 c. And God himself is pleased to represent his perfections and operations by several parts of the body of man If therefore the serious prying into any one part take up the time and study of the learned insomuch that Galen was turned from Atheism in studying the secrets of mans body and presently praised and acknowledged our Creatour then oh my soul let that which made him a Christian make me a more thankful Christian that I may more zealously glorifie God with my body and may hereafter have all its primitive perfections restored at the Resurrection when God shall raise it in honour and incorruption and make it like the glorious body of Jesus Christ MEDITATION 6. Anatomists themselves are utterly to seek what reason to give for the opening and shutting of the womb But though I know not the natural causes hereof yet I find by the effects that the child is quick within me And oh that I could say with like certainty that though I know not the way of the Spirit or how grace comes in and sin goes out how Christ enters and Satan is dispossessed yet I feel by the effects that whereas lust did once conceive and bring forth sin yet now grace conceives holy motions and brings forth religious actions that whereas my heart was a cage of unclean spirits and barren of goodness yet now Christ is formed within me now I feel by happy effects that grace is quick within me and quickens me to every good work Psal 103.1 Wherefore blesse the Lord oh my soul and all that is within me blesse his holy name Luk. 1.43.49 For he that is mighty hath done to me great
godly women when with child YOu that have tasted the goodness of the Lord and have given up your selfe to him must upon this occasion sequester your self awhile from all the incumbrances of secular affairs and deny your self of the usual attendance of any company and entring into your chamber shut the door and give attendance to these things Commune with thy own heart Ps 4.4 77.6 and let thy spirit make diligent search after those secret sins that yet lurk in thy bosome rub up thy memory of former sins even those committed in the dayes of thy ignorance and vanity remember the wormwood and gall I mean how sin was to thee upon thy first conversion Lam. 3.40 Prov. 20.27 remember thy relapses any time since into sins formerly confessed and bewailed and consider thy unfruitfulness and unsuitable returns to God for his rich mercy in Christ how little thou hast adorned his Gospel but rather rendered Godliness less amiable by thy frequent miscarriages In a word examine thy senses members thoughts and inward parts of all their several evils and renew thy repentance in that serious and humble manner the Lord requires For your sins are in some respects more provoking to God than the wickednesse of the wicked More dishonourable to his name more grievous to his holy Spirit more displeasing to the good Angels more advantageous to the evill Angels more scandalous to the world and more unbeseeming your principles and heavenly hopes Therefore as David having sinned against God Recordari vol o tranactas fóeditates meas carnales corruptiones animi non quòd eas amem sed ut amem te Deus meus Augustin in Confess lib. 2. c. 1. wrote many penitentiall Psalms and shed many a tear day and night And Solomon having finned foulely after God had appeared to him wrote his recantation and penitentiall review of his life in the Book of Ecclesiastes And the woman after she was pardoned washed our Saviours feet with her teares and spent as histories tell us many years after in bewailing her sins So go you and do likewise remembring the holy Apostle who sometimes shames himselfe for the sins of his unconverted estate sometimes bewails the remainders of corruption that abode within him And renew also your resolutions of better obedience and more circumspect walking in all manner of conversation Chide your heart for its deceitfullnesse charge your soul to be more mindfull of the vows of God that are upon you Double upon your selfe all possible obligations to recover what you have lost and to stir up in you those things that are ready to dye Thus you should persevere in the work of confession lamentation and supplication till you find some such answerable effect in your heart as may assure you that your labour is not in vain in the Lord. Cor. 15.58 As our book of Martyrs relates of that famous Martyr Mr. John Bradford that he could not leave a duty till he had found communion with Christ in the duty i. e. till he had brought his heart into a more holy frame He could not leave Confession till he had found his heart touched broken and humbled for sin nor Petition till he had found his heart taken with the beauty of the things he desired nor could he leave Thanksgiving till he had found his spirit enlarged and his soul quickened in the return of praises (a) Nunquam abs te absque te recedo Bernard Medit. Like that of devout Bernard who saith of himselfe that he never went away from God without God This is indeed the genius of every Saint who have known by experience how good t is for them to draw nigh to God And you have surely found God in the duty if you find your heart more out of love with your selfe and the world more humbled for sins past more afraid of every appearance of evil for the future and more delighting in all those duties that may promote your graces and weaken your corruptions in you But remember that the duties of humiliation confession supplication must be therefore delighted in because they leade us to God And then do we serve him aright when we have learned to delight not in our services but in God Wherefore raise your heart to that heavenly frame of thank fulnesse and praise to God Rev. 19.5 Luk. 2.13 for the eternall contrivances of his wisdome and purposes of grace in giving Jesus Christ Psal 33.1 for the fulnesse of his promises the freenesse of his covenant the sufficiencie of his word the blessed operations of his Spirit the transforming power of his grace Yea let all that is within you blesse his holy name for pardon of sin Psal 103.1 2 3. Psal 139.14 Rev. 15.3 for all other benefits whether deliverances from evill or giving you any thing that pertains to life and godlinesse for any good hope through grace of an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled 1 Peter 1.3 4 5. reserved in the heavens for you to which you are kept by the power of God And really when I consider that the whole world lyes in wickednesse I cannot but praise God in your behalf who hath called you out of darknesse into his marvellous light and numbred you among the faithfull The Lord adde to your number inable you by cheerfull and thankfull submission to Christs easy yoke to shew forth his praises Another good step towards your preparation for death would be not onely to get a heart truly penitent for sin and thankfull to God 1 Cor. 13.1 2 3 4.8.13 Col. 3.14 1 Tim. 2.15 1 Pet. 4.8 2 Pet. 1.7 Rev. 2.19 but also charitable towards all men that is to be of an inoffensive and courteous disposition to the wicked affectionate to the godly and compassionate to the needy But I meane especially this last of having bowels of mercy to them that be in want which by way of eminency is commonly called Charity as charity in the Greek is called grace Implying that there is no grace without charity no evidence of the truth of our charity without liberality For t is utterly a fault among many rich Ladies and gentlewomen who yet professe religion that they care not what they lay out in foolish gaming immodest dresses exotick garments c. But as if God had no right in any of their wealth they are loath to understand the duty of charity or to part with any thing considerable to pions uses except some small matter to them whom they cannot for shame deny ◠Tim. 6.17 18. Now the Apostle hath directed us to charge them that are rich in this world that they be not high minded nor trust in uncertain riches but in God that they be rich in good works ready to distribute willing to commucicate laying up in store for themselves a good foundation against the time to come that they may lay hold on eternal life Let this full Scripture serve instead
I shall now speak in the next place CHAP. V. Meditation the duty of women with child IT cannot be but women with child when they begin to grow big and unweldy must be taken off from such manual imployments in which they were busied before and must allow themselves some rest and retirement therefore they should labour to make a good use of that time they have for prayer and reading and meditation c. Meditation being then most in season when other things are out of season and hath herein the advantage of other duties that it requires onely the inner to be imployed therein Idlenesse is alway dangerous especially the idlenesse of our minds If the Devil find the soul idle hee 'le soon imploy it And therefore were it onely to prevent the incursion of sinfull and troublesome thoughts in our solitary seasons and also as one sayes (a) Bolton Gen. dir p 71. lest our spirits like milstones wanting grist grate themselves with vexation feares discontents and waste themselves in a fruitless endless melancholy I say were it only to avoid this grand inconvenience it were safest to have alway some choice head or other of pious profitable matter to busie our heads and hearts about Nothing being more known among Christians then the precepts and presidents of this kind in Scripture Nothing more frequent in the writings and Sermons of Divines Therefore I shall not meddle with the duty in general but as it properly concerns women with child And for the better direction of those who are willing to make use of the help offered them I shall present them with thirteen Meditations which they may enlarge upon at their pleasure not doubting but that divers of them are able to adde many others as pertinent and profitable as these MEDITATION 1. (a) J. Planâ—avit Floâ—il Rabbinicum Deut. 27.12 Ps 104.28 1 Sam. 2.6 Acts â—6 4 Gen. 30.22 The Rabbines have a notion that there are four special Keyes which the Lord reserveth in his own power 1. The Key of Rain 2. The Key of Food 3. The Key of the Grave 4. The Key of the Heart To which may be added the Key of the Womb. God hath opened my womb oh that my heart were opened also Nature hath locked it against God and my customary sins have caused me instead of opening when Christ knocketh to adde more bolts to keep him out But oh that he who hath the key of David who openeth and none can shut would break open or lift up the everlasting gates of my soul Rev. 3 7. that the King of glory might come in and sup with me Then should I have more cause then yet I have to rejoyce in him for opening my womb and opening to me the treasures of raine and food yea then I should not care how soon a grave were opened for my body if my heart were first opened by the grace of Christ MEDITATION 2. There is a different generation and conception The children of Adam are generally propagated by ordinary generation but Sampson Jephtah c. had wonders accompanying their conception The elect of God who are in due time regenerate are supernaturally born and conceived not of flesh and bloud but of the Will of God Joh. 1 1â— Jesus Christ as to his humane nature was not begotten but miraculously conceived in the womb of the Virgin as to his Divine nature he was not conceived but eternally begotten by the God and Father of all things Though I am not like to be the Mother of a Prophet or a Judge in Israel though I have no miraculous or supernatural conception but am with child through Gods blessing by my husband in a state of matrimony yet I hope defire and pray that God would prepare some singular blessing for the fruit of my womb Oh that it might as was Saint John be sanctified from the womb and be filled with the holy Ghost that we may have joy and gladness Luke 1.14 15. and many may rejoyce at its birth Oh that it might please God so to bless this unborn child that it may grow and wax strong in the Spirit and may become so eminent in holiness of life Luk. 1. â—0 Lu. 11.27 that others may say Blessed is the womb that bare thee and the paps that gave thee suck MEDITATION 3. And this is the sixth moneth with her who was called barren Luk. 1.36 It is most probable she was called by way of reproach the barren wife and therefore not much set by but rather vilified by the mothers in Israel God hath restrained the wombs of some from bearing but hath made mine fruitful Whether the barrennesse of some good women which I know be to them a curse I know not but oh my soul how great a curse is spiritual barrennesse and how cursed a creature do I then deserve to be Jer. 4.22 I am wise to doe evil though none teach me or tempt but to doe good I have no knowledge I have strong affections to love my friends self c. to hate my enemies and to be vext at worldly crosses and fear temporal dangers but how weak is my love to God hatred of sin and fear of his all-seeing eye I have done many things for my credit profit health ease c. but how barren am I 2 Pet. 1.8 and unfruitfull in the work of the Lord and how little affected with the concernments of my soul I have plenty of words for carnall company and can without study or help vent my passions with much fluency and readinesse if my servants or inferiours displease me but the Lord knows and my foul is confounded to remember that when fit occasion and opportunity have been offered yea a necessity laid upon me of reproving or admonishing my relations or acquaintance of inciting and quickning my family to true godliness I have many a time said little or nothing I have quenched the fire of zeal that burned within me I have by my needless silence seemed to own what my soul abhorrs yea when I have purposed and resolved to speak with serious earnestness in Gods behalf my heart hath been barren of fit matter my tongue hath wanted words and I have stood mute and silent as if possessed with a dumb devil Now whence is this If I be married to Christ and implanted into him Mic. 2.7 why is it thus surely I am not streightned in him but in my self Wherefore oh my soul go to him who onely worketh both to will and to doe of his own good pleasure And never cease importuning him till he quicken me by his Spirit and cause me know and enjoy the vertues and powers of my Saviour Then shall I bring forth my fruits unto holinesse Rom. 6.22 and my end shall be everlasting life MEDITATION 4. Hast thou not poured me out as milk Job 10.10 and curdled me like cheese Miseres â—â—que etiam â—udeâ— aestiâ—â—antem â—â—am fiâ—â—rivola aâ—antium
his sins lest you be partaker of his plagues Or if you resolved to take more notice of your godly neighbours about you who are made as the offscouering of the world and to make it more manifest that your delight is in the Saints and that you hate them that hate the Lord yea hate them with perfect hatred and count them your enemies Or if you would remember who have provoked and offended you by slandering you or otherwise and now shew your selfe courteous and loving to them especially requiting them good for evill and never remembring or upbraiding them with their offensive miscarriages towards you Or if you would resolve to spare somewhat more from your super fluities (a) Divitis â—uperfluae Pauperi sunt necessaria alieâ—a retinet qui ista tenet Aug in Ps 147. and sinfull expences for the preservation of the lives of many starving poor and to that end alway keep a stock by you to lay out as occasion shall require for pious ases (b) R. Bolâ—ons Gen. Direct p. â—62 Exod. 35. â—5 yea if you sought out objects of your charity and sent to some of the more modest poor to know how 't is with them that you might buy or make cloaths for the naked as Dorcas did and every good woman Acts 9 3â— Prov. 31.20 as Solomon describes her should doe and get food for the hungry physick for the sick harbour for the destitute imployment for the diligent c. This was a motive to Peter to raise up Dorcas that she had cloathed the poor widows And this sayes one was the practice of the blessed Virgin who having great gifts from the three wise men (a) Supponendum est quod illa munera pauperibus erogaverat N. Hanap Patr. Hierosul virtutuÌ„ vitiorum exempla cap. 125. p. 166 Levit. 5.7 that followed the star yet bestowed all on the poor and shortly after at her purification had but two turtle Doves or two young Pigeons to offer which was by Gods appointment the manner of the poorer Jews who were not able to buy a lambe Thus I have given divers instances of such particulars as you may make the matter of pious Resolution And if in these or any other of like nature you fix your intentions of abounding more and growing more fruitfull in every good work it will be doubtlesse thank-worthy with God if he see your heart thus firmly bent to observe that precept of his Psal 50.15 Call upon me in the day of trouble and I will deliver thee and thou shalt glorifie me How would you glorifie God when he delivers you What by a meer verbal acknowledgement and not by some signall testimony of your thankefullnesse and some sureable return for so great a mercy Wherefore I say again resolve if God deliver you to be more faithfull to your principles more usefull in your generation more alive to God more affectionate to Christ and his members more dead to the world more eminent in some particular service to God whereby you may shew forth his praise and acknowledge him in your works and shine with your light before men And thus having in some measure dispatched the duties before mentioned you may the more boldly addresse your self to what next follows viz to exercise and strengthen your faith CHAP. XII To labour for faith in Christ or if they have faith to endeavour to exercise it in trust and dependance upon God for pardon of sin is also the duty of Women with child TO get faith and to get an interest in Christ are great words more commonly spoken than understood Know therefore that faith is not a beleeving that I am pardoned or that I have true grace and shall certainly be saved this is not the nature but fruit of justifying faith But Faith is a believing the Gospel which represents and offers Christ to us as the onely all sufficient Saviour and the receiving him as such Faith looks on Christ as revealed in his word to be our Priest Prophet and King or the way the truth and the life Accordingly it causeth us to renounce our own Righteousnesse to renounce our own Reason and to believe all mysteries of godliness upon his bare Word thus becoming fools that we may be wise in him and to deny our selves and renounce our own wills and all things that oppose themselves against Christ and to make his will our supreme rule in all our actions Thus faith receives Christ with all his benefits graces laws yea with his yoke crosse reproach counting the treasures of the world as nothing in comparison of the meanest and poorest things that appertain to Christ and have his name upon theÌ„ So that they who thus receive Christ believe in him are justified by him yield to Christ the chief interest in all that is theirs in their understanding by believing him in their affections by loving him in their wills by obeying him in their time strength estate and all things they are or have by serving him with their whole heart their whole soul and their whole strength all their dayes And such have doubtlesse an interest in Christ Wherefore if you doubt complain and torment your self with such inward feares as would all be removed if you once knew that you believed and had an interest in Christ then stir up your self now to receive him as he is offered be willing to be saved by him in his own way let his interest prevail in you above all other interests and you shall find that faithfull and obedient compliance with him will sooner bring comfort than meer complaints Be not then slothfull in this businesse but fervent in spirit seeking the Lord for increase of faith and help against your infidelity Doe not by a heart of unbelief depart in the least from him upon any termes but lay aside every sin that hath easily beset you else your complaints are not in earnest patiently persevere in well doing and in a way of holiness accept comfort Yet look not presently and too eagerly for a high measure of sensible joy and assurance for that is scarce a promised mercy given to a few who are most eminently holy and with them it doth not alwayes abide neither And if you are wholly without joy or peace in thus believing you are not streightned in God but in your selfe because you either retain some sin which grieves the Spirit or listen to temptations or cherish your fears and refuse to be comforted Wherefore for your further help consider the freenesse fulnesse suitablenesse and multitude of those exceeding great and precious Promises whereby you have all things that pertain to life and godlinesse promises of pardon and promises of deliverance promises to your soul and to your body promises of all needfull good and of all things working together for good in this life and promises of all good in the enjoyment of God who is the chief good and that with life everlasting Search then
things and holy is his name And whence is this to me that the grace of Christ should come to me MEDITATION 7. Rebecca conceived Gen. 25.22 23. and the children strugled within her and she said If it be so why am I thus that is if I am heard of God in my request and am with child by his blessing whence is this strugling this painful conflict and strange unquietness of the fruit of my womb And she went to enquire of the Lord and the Lord said unto her Two nations are in thy womb c. So when I look into my self and observe the commotions that are in the womb of my heart I conclude Surely there are two nations within me the flesh with all its motions lucting against the spirit and its grace Gal. 5.17 and the Spirit with its gracious influences alway striving against the sinfulness of my carnal part Now blessed be God that seeing sin will yet keep possession that it hath no quiet abode within me but meets with reluctancy and opposition from my spirituall part But oh wretched creature that I am how often is evil present and prevalent with me how many are those pangs of sorrow those sighs and grones that my mischievous and restless corruptions cause within me But if it be so that the power of the most High hath overshadowed me and true grace be implanted in my soule then I shall seek to the Lord that he would cause the better part in me to be the more prevailing part that he would water and give encrease to these tender beginnings and give me at last a safe and happy deliverance from this body of death MEDITATION 8. If men strive and hurt a woman with child Exod. 21.22 23. so that her fruit depart from her and yet 〈◊〉 mischief follow he shall be surely punished c. Women with child are liable to many dangers A fall a bruise an accidentall stroke a fright a strain the taking somewhat that proves expulsive or the disappointment of somewhat they longed for these and such other contingencies are noxious to them and often-times cause abortion or the mischance of her fruit departing from her Such was the case of the Church when it was with child with many Converts Rev. 12.2 3. the great red Dragon watched the destruction of her and of her fruit And thus is with every repenting soul What security soever there be among those careless women that are at ease Isa 32.9 10 11. how little inward care or sorrow they feel while they forget God how unacquainted soever with the hurt and smart of sin or Satans striving with them before they are acquainted with God yet no sooner do they espouse themselves to Christ and conceive purposes of holy living and begin to be fruitful in any grace but they shall have many adversaries in the world and especially the god of this world striving against them to afright them to tempt them to receive such principles company suggestions as may quench their graces or to deprive them of that Spiritual food they long for or to intice them to straine their consciences or some way or other to cause them to fall that they may be wounded bruised c. and the fruit of grace depart from them But oh my soul hath God such care of the unborn infant as to provide a speciall law in its behalfe and will he not much more take care of that grace which he hath begotten in my Soul Oh my God keep me that the Evill One touch me not MEDITATION 9. In sorrow shalt thou bring forth Children As the first general curse Gen. 3.16 In dying thou shalt dy brought not onely the pains of death but intended also all the miseries of our life so this particular curse upon women brings not only pain in travel but comprehends all the infirmities of Child-bearing I find that the child in my womb brings many weaknesses and aches upon me but oh how sad and deplorable are those deeper sicknesses and maladies which I have brought upon it It s body partaking of my substance partakes unavoidably of my natural pollution It s Soul though it come immediately from the Father of Spirits yet I know not how is upon its infusion into this tender infant subjected to the common misery of the Children of Adam who having lost the image and likenesse of God sinne and corruption must needs follow I am an unclearne vessel Psal 58.3 sa 48.8 and how can any clean thing come out of me Oh my soul what need have I to be sanctified throughout both in Body and Soul and Spirit And Oh my God repair by thy grace what sin hath made so defective in me and mine MEDITATION 10 Our blessed Saviour and Great Prophet Jesus Christ foretelling the miseries that should shortly come on Judea Jerusalem sayes Wo unto them that are with Child Mat. 24.19 Lu. 23.29 and to them that give suck in those days And in another Evangelist Behold the dayes are coming in the which they shall say Blessed are the barren and the wombs that never have and the paps that never gave suck And indeed of all persons none more miserable in the time of War than women with child or women that give suck because their care is double and their persons uncapable of flying and shifting for their lives as those who are single may and do And of all murthers none more horrible in all its circumstances 2 Kin. 8.12 Lam. 5.11 then to rip up women with child Wherefore oh my soul let me be thankfull to my God that there is peace in our borders and any quietness and safety in my habitation and that I am free from those terrours and affrights with which many others in a time of common calamity are undone Oh how many Women with their unborn infants have been butchered in many places in ages past and martyred by blood-thirsty Papists in these later ages of which histories are too plentiful And if there be now any in my condition in any place especially among Christians that is exposed daily to the rage of a devouring Sword the Lord be pleased either to restrain the Enemy and the Avenger Psal 8.2 Rev. 6.10 or to avenge the cause of the murthered that according to thy own Law they may not go unpunished but may give life for life Yea Lord hear the crie of the oppressed and give their adversaries blood to drink for they are worthy MEDITATION 11. My little children of whom I travel in birth again till Christ be formed whithin you Where any place is blest with a painfull Minister and Pastour after Gods own heart Gal. 4.19 they have in them much of the Apostle's temper For when I consider their painfull studies their sighes and teares their spending their spirits in ardent Prayers and laborious Preaching their compassionate exhortations passionate supplications and their giving themselves wholly to these things 1