that no sin tho' never so dear pleasant or secret may survive this funeral our departed Relations have no need of our groans and tears oh let us labour to consecrate our sorrow by turning the flowing streams into the Channel of Repentance that that which was natural may commence Divine How proper is the Death of Relations to excite and quicken Repentance how much may the remembrance of their sick-bed Discourses their dying speeches their farewel counsels and the great change one moment made contribute to soften break and humble our hearts to make us serious and solevin in renewing our Repentance at such a time how easily is the passion of sorrow moved do you weep for her methinks I hear her having no need of pity and tears saying weep not Luk. 23. 28. for me Do you weep for sin pretious tears comfortable sorrow oh weep on and weep more Every Corps Funeral and Grave tells us what an evil sin is and should provoke us to Repent but when Death comes into the very House where we live takes away one of our own number strikes and kills a dear Relation when it is a Father a Mother a Husband a Wife a Child that is carried to the House appointed for all the living Job 30. 23. the call to Repentance is more solemn loud plain and particular and ought to be more awakening After the Death and Funeral of such Repentance is a very seasonable duty Now is the proper time to offer to God the Sacrifice Psa 51. 17. of a broken Heart and contrite Spirit Can I see Death closing the Eyes of such near Relations parting them and me nay one part of themselves from the other Can I behold their pale wan and ghastly Countenances the Soul being gone Can I see them wrapped up in a Shrowd and nailed up in a Cossin Can I attend their Funeral look into the dark and deep Grave where I must leave a to Worms and Rottenness and not think hardly of sin and not resolve by the Grace of God to kill and mortifie it at such a time who does not cry out ah cruel death ah cruel death but hath not every one much more cause to cry out ah cursed sin ah cursed sin the death of this friend of this Relation this Funeral and all others O cursed sin is owing to thee and henceforward I will endeavour thy destruction and ruin V. Be very careful to keep God among you Do what in you lieth that God may be the God of your Posterity after you that they under you may lay claim to the Covenant and the Blessings of it Endeavour that Religion in the Life and Power of it may flourish not only in your own Hearts but in your families Let not FAMILY PRAYER be thrust out nor adjourned to those hours in which you are least of all fit for this awful and important duty May we all strive to keep up the friendship begun between God and our Family Since God hath made all of you except one Mothers reckon it is your duty to bring up your Children for God teach them to know your God and your Fathers God and that God to whom in Baptism you have devoted them that when you shall be dead cold and rotting in the Grave they may be serving and honouring God in your place and stead That Religion and the fear of God may not die out of your Families when you shall 'T is true you cannot give them Grace but you can instruct teach counsel advise exhort and persuade c. you can set a good example you can pray to God for them and plead that Covenant you entered them into almost as soon as God gave them to you and all this you ought and I hope you will be careful to do Tho' the presence awe and fear of living Parents may restrain Children from some sins and vices tho' their examples and counsels may influence them so far as to persuade them to take up a form of Godliness yet oh 2 Tim. 3. 5. what Tears are sufficient to bewail this fatal degeneracy what a dead spiritless and lifeless thing is the Religion of many such as soon as their godly Parents are Dead and cold in their Graves how oft doth that ground that was manured and cultivated plow'd and sown ay and watered with many showers of Tears bring forth a sad crop of Briars and Thorns Some Children are a grief and heart breaking to their Parents while they live and many more are a reproach and disgrace to them when dead and gone how many Children of such Parents notwithstanding the benefit of a good education seasonable instructions wise reproofs and timely counsels live at that rate that they are a blot to their family and a disgrace to their name If any such shall chance to read these lines I charge them in the name of God to consider what a sad case they are in and I pray God to convince them of their sin and folly and how near they are to a sudden and final ruin Would to God such would consider how greatly they will be ashamed and how little they will have to say for themselves when the Prayers and Tears of their Living and the Dust of their Dead Parents shall rise up in Judgment against and condemn them But I hope better Heb. 6. 9. things of you and things that accompany Salvation tho' I thus speak Oh let it still be your study and care and let it be more and more so every day to promote piety and holiness in your own Souls and to propagate it to others who are descended from you that so long as any branch of this Family remains the fear of God and a care of Religion might slourish To conclude there is one thing very amiable and which your Relation peculiarly calls for and that is LOVE this I think I should hardly have mentioned because I hope you are taught of God to 1 Thes 4. 9. love one another if I had not received it among the last Commands of a Mother who had so much of this Grace her self to be your Monitor in this particular Now the Lord sit you and me to follow that at the Resurrection of the Just we may meet our Dear Mother who now sleeps in Jesus and our Honoured Father who is yet with us and whom God long preserve for ours and his Churches sake with Joy and Triumph That they may say lo here are we and all the Children thou didst graciously give us Amen Reading Feb. 28. 1692 3. Thus Prays in all sincerity your truly loving and very affectionate Brother Samuel Doo-little THE Righteous Man's Hope AT DEATH Consider'd and Improv'd For the Comfort of Dying Christians and the Support of Surviving Relations Proverbs 14. 32. But the Righteous hath hope in his Death DEath with what a grim countenance and terrible aspect doth it look upon the Children of Men What a sharp and startling word is this what
a doleful sound does it make in the Ears of those who are yet alive Death the more we muse and meditate upon it the more doth it amaze and scare A short glance a fleeting thought makes poor mortals tremble a fixt and solemn a deep and serious meditation fills with shivering horror Death how do the thoughts and prospect of it damp our Joys spoil our Mirth imbitter our Life and infuse Wormwood and Gall into our sweetest Cup How do the near approaches of it cast us into cold clammy sweats and mortal tremblings How doth every day when we give our selves the liberty of thinking partake of the horror of our last Death what a serious useful and awakening Argument is this and yet how seldom do busie mortals entertain themselves with the thoughts of it Every Corps that is carried along the streets every Coffin and Death's-head we behold every Funeral we attend every Grave that is digg'd with open mouth tells us we must die We may read our own fate on every Tomb-stone Oh! how many and what powerful Preachers have the Living and how many Lectures of Mortality are daily read and yet is there not need that almost every Preacher and every Sermon should mind us of what is sure and near at hand a dying hour Death what a mournful word what a melancholy Theme is this Dead unwelcome message sad news heavy tydings to the surviving Relations is he or she dead What! an old Friend a loving Father a tender Mother dead doleful hour dismal spectacle Dead what do you now see their charming Beauty marr'd their Eyes closed their Teeth set their Countenance chang'd and the Man turn'd into a lifeless breathless Corps Anon you see him nailed up in a narrow scanty Coffin and after a few days when we have fed the sorrow of our hearts with the sight of our eyes we lodge them in a cold and deep dark and silent Grave And must we leave the delight of our hearts the desire of our eyes those whom Nature and Grace made dear to us those whom we loved even as our own Souls among an Army of crawling Worms and among the cold Clods of the Valley Must we see their faces enjoy their company and converse with them no more no more sad thought no more killing word O Death Death what a cruel Enemy art thou to Mankind What dark and gloomy what sad and melancholy thoughts are these especially when Death hath set a pattern of Mortality before our eyes and we are but lately come from the HOUSE of MOURNING upon such an occasion David burst out into tears and spoke in all the figures of a sorrowful Rhetorick O my Son Absalom my Son my Son Absalom â— Sam 11. 33 would God I had died for thee O Absalom my Son my Son These Arrows of Death that kill one wound the many that are left behind and the wound is so deep that many times it proves mortal They only live to weep sigh and groan to bury their dead and then they come home and die too and those that lived are content to die together Life how sweet pleasant and delightful is it Life how amiable and desirable is it with what earnestness and passion is it courted by most how willing are poor Mortals to tear out their Bowels with Vomits to punish the flesh with fasting and abstinence and tie themselves up to the tedious and troublesom prescriptions of Physitians how willing are they to take the bitter Potion they loath and how patient under the cutting of the Lance and teeth of the ragged and torturing Saw how willing are they to lose a dear Member that Life might be preserved Men stick at nothing to preserve this dear thing we call LIFE How chearfully do men die daily that they may not die once for good and all Life how excessively fond are most of it Life gives us the opportunity of enjoying those pleasures that are soft and charming but Death renders us uncapable of any and who almost doth not live in bondage thro' fear of it But tho' there are many great and terrible evils in this one frightful thing DEATH yet thanks be to God we Christians are not left without something to mitigate and allay our sorrow for the death of our godly Friends and holy Relations who are gone the way of all the Earth before us and to fortifie and arm us against a tormenting and slavish fear of our own who in a little time must fall asleep too With a design to help my self and others against both these I have chosen these words to insist on But the Righteous hath hope in his death In handling of this Argument which may contribute very much to the support of living and comfort of dying Saints I intend to proceed in this Method I shall First Open and explain the Character of the person here spoken of and who is to be the Subject of our present discourse Secondly Consider what is here supposed and taken for granted with reference to this Righteous man and that is he must die Thirdly Consider and amplifie the priviledge of such an one as having hope in his death Fourthly Make some practical improvement of the whole in applying all to our selves who are yet alive but must certainly and quickly die First I shall consider and explain the character of the Person who is intended in these words and who hath some priviledge beyond the rest of mankind Here is mention made of a very great benefit and that none might think it promiscuously belongs to all the Holy-Ghost gives us the character of the Person concerned in it the Righteous for opening and explaining the character I have not time neither is it necessary to give an account of the several acceptations of the word it is sufficient to take notice that this word Righteousness which peculiarly qualifies and distinguishes the subject of our discourse is frequently used in a twofold sense First In a more limited and restrained sense and so it is no more than a particular Vertue which inclineth and disposeth a man to give to every one his right When a man doth not by any little tricks or cunning artifices which the Wits of our Age call mysteries of Trade go beyond defraud over-reach or wrong another he is Righteous this is a considerable branch of morality a duty belonging to the Law of Nature and hath its proper place among the duties of the second Table Were this Virtue more common we might deal with our fellow Creatures with more openness and freedom with more plainness and less fear we might trust another without surmise suspicion and jealousie This vertue is famous and renowned and that justly too among Heathens and would God there were more of it in the Christian World Were all men just and upright honest sincere and plain hearted in their commerce as unwilling to impose upon and wrong another as they are loth to be deceiv'd and cheated themselves did
and clear evidences there are of a future state and tho' Satan may raise Batteries against our Faith yet let us defend it and pray to God it may never fail Let Faith often travel into yonder Eternal World send it as a Spy to take a view of the Heavenly Canaan and firmly believe the report it brings back for our Faith must be stedfast if ever we would have our hope unshaken Secondly Walk closely with God and take heed of all known willful and presumptuous Sins Having solemnly dedicated your selves to the glory and service of the Blessed Trinity Father Son and Spirit walk according to that dedication Watch against every thing that may give a wound to your sincerity or cause you to question it If you would have hope in your Death live according to your Character Righteous persons What is the fruit of your sloth and negligence the consequent of your hearkning to sin and complying with temptation but perplexing jealousies and tormenting suspicions blotted evidences and languishing hopes want of assurance and the Heavenly joy that flows from thence Am I in a state of Grace and do I belong to God Will God reward such poor and mean performances with Heaven Is not my hope vain and only the counterfeit of that which is in true Christians Shall I ever be happy or may I venture to hope I shall Are the disconsolate reasonings of the careless Christian upon the neglect of duty and commission of sin It is thus and have not some of you found it so Willful and presumptuous sins will raise black and dark clouds between you and Heaven These clouds may eclipse the light of Gods countenance at present and break and fall down in terrible storms and tempests in the evening What a dreadful change did holy David find in himself after his unhappy and scandalous fall How did it damp his joy blot his evidences and stab his hopes Poor man he is wrapt up in clouds and darkness and in great distress and agonies of Soul cries to God Lord restore to me the joy of thy Salvation Psal 51. 12. and uphold me with thy free Spirit On the contrary an holy obedient life a strict and circumspect walking with God will both warrant and confirm our hope Heaven is promised to the obedient or in the language of the the Text to the righteous And every act of sincere obedience will enable me to see my right to the promise and apply it to my self and a constant and persevering obedience will be accompanyed with a full assurance of hope unto the end Holiness â—eâ— 6. 11. of heart and life will furnish me with an answer to all my doubts and fears afford me comfort amidst all my sad jealousies and perplexities of Spirit strengthen me to look as far as Heaven and enable me to read my name written there Our Hope as well as our Faith without works will be dead But a strong and lively a certain and confirmed hope will be the issue of an holy and obedient life It will entitle us to the promise and warrant our hope of the reward Would you then have hope in your Death Mortifie sin subdue corruptions and crucifie the old man keep up the Government of Grace and the Authority of Christ in your Souls watch against snares and temptations keep your garments undefiled and your selves unspottep Remember every willful sin wounds your hope Thirdly If through the strength of corruption and violence of temptation you chance to miscarry and fall endeavour to rise again by a solemn serious and speedy repentance We thanks be to God are not under the Law which requires a sinless spotless obedience as the condition of Life But under the Gospel of the meek and merciful Jesus which requires and admits of repentance And whenever we have wounded our selves by sin it is our interest and wisdom to betake our selves to this remedy Though you cannot keep your selves innocent yet be sure you do not live impenitent If you do defile your garments in one instant be sure you wash them with a flood of penitential tears the next Keep Conscience wakeful and tender that it may sharply reprove you when you do amiss and when Conscience looks upon you as Christ did upon Peter do you also go out Mat. 26. 75. and weep bitterly Let your repentance be serious and solemn with blushing and shame confusion and sorrow with hearty sighs and groans with a broken heart and contrite Spirit with a bleeding soul and melting affections With all the signs of a Gospel-repentance and unfeigned remorse confess and bewail your late sin or sins before God Let your confession be free and not forc't particular and not general and the more to affect melt and humble you aggravate your sin with the several circumstances which did attend the commission of it And then beg of God to pardon you Plead Christian plead as for thy life that that sin might not eclipse the light of his countenance deprive thee of the comforting and witnessing presence of his Spirit that it might not prove either the damnation of thy soul or the destruction of thy hopes And do all this speedily while the wound is fresh and green before it rankle and putrifie While you delay your repentance your hearts will grow more hard your conscience more insensible and the neglected bruise which you got by your fall will grow worse and worse and if it be not timely lookt after may prove the death of all your hopes After the heat and hurry of the day does conscience in the cool of the evening cite thee to make thy appearance in its Court Summon thee by some sudden rebuke and surprizing terror to hold up thy guilty hands at its Tribunal As soon as ever this Domestick Judge reads the Bill of Indictment and brings the bloody charge against thee betake thy self to a serious repentance revoke retract and wipe out thy sins by an immediate act of repentance 'T is true 't is infinitely better to be righteous persons who need no repentance i. e. to be guilty of as few sinful Luk. 15. 7. miscarriages as we can But in case we do fall we have this remedy at hand and we must use it If I sin in the day I ought to go and be reconciled to God and my own Conscience before night If we take this course our hope which was withering languishing and dying like grass scorcht with the heat of the burning Sun being watered with these showers of penitential tears may revive sprout forth and flourish again and be fresh in the very evening This is the way to have great peace in Life and at Death Fourthly Daily exercise Faith in Christ especially as Crucified and Risen from the Dead Christ by his Blood-shed and Death by his passion and the Sacrifice of himself on the Cross has bore the Curse of the Law satisfied Divine Justice and quench'd those Flames of Wrath we had kindled he hath
my self in a solemn manner to be a follower of them so far as they were followers of Christ When an holy Father or Mother dies methinks this is the farewell language I have resigned and devoted my self to God and by his grace I have been enabled in some measure to live suitably to such a state 'T is true I have had my imperfections and failings many infirmities have attended me which I heartily bewail and unfeignedly lament but I have thanks be to God I have the testimony of my Conscience I have been sincere and upright and now at last God is beginning to give me the rewards of a holy Life I have had in this sickness much from God and I hope for more I am full I am full of joy I long I long to be gone would God my work were done and I were gone Religion is not a vain thing and now I find it is not I have serv'd a good Master I have been his I have lived as his and now upon a Death-bed he treats me as his own as a Friend as a Servant nay even as a Child I do not repent of my Prayers and Tears my Watching against and Wrestling with sin my Circumspect walking and my Holy Life of any of the pains I took the endeavours I used to be truly Religious Repent no no I do not I thank God for hâ—s grace bestowed on me and that his grace was not altogether in vain Tho' I relie only on the merits of Christ and desire to be found and accepted in him yet I do and can rejoice that my works prove my Faith to be more than a dead one My fears are gone my doubts are answered my peace is setled my Conscience is quiet my joy full and I can die and now by these my last comforts by these my dying hopes I beseech beg of charge and conjure you O my dear Children Whom I shall leave in a wicked World to Serve Please and Honour God What Errata's there have been in my Life let them be corrected and amended in yours And wherein grace hath enabled me to be a follower of Christ do you be followers of me I now leave you to go to the Father but this do and God be with you Amen When Holy Relations are snatcht away dead and gone what doth more nearly concern them who are left than to study and imitate their Holy Lives to tread in their steps follow their example and write after their Copy Oh what a laudable ambition is it to strive who shall come nearest to the Original and whose Copy shall be fairest Fourthly Another duty incumbent on us Is to be more speedy serious and solemn in making preparation for our own departure Thoughts of Death should be serious lively and affecting and it is our sin and folly if any of them be cold flat dull and ineffectual Death carries that awful sound it is of that infinite concern and importance that every view thought and glance should be improved by us We should neither think nor speak of this solemn and weighty thing Death without concern But alas while we only entertain our selves with meer contontemâ—â—ation and naked speculation how little do the best of us advance in real piety How seldom is it that these thoughts make any deep through and lasting impressions upon our hearts perhaps they scare and terrifie us at present and produce some short-lived pangs of a gasping devotion but how few are the better for walking among graves and Tombs By reason of a croud of worldly business secular affairs present prosperity and flattering hopes of its continuance through vain sports and foolish pastimes carnal mirth and sensual joy the crafty insinuations of a subtil Devil and the fly suggestions of a deceitful heart most of these thoughts come short of that end they are proper to attain How few alas how few in this dying World of ours which every day and hour is changing its inhabitants are reform'd amended and made better don 't they love the World pursue vanity follow their pleasures neglect duty forget God and themselves have they not as strong an appetite after the little things of time and are not their affections to the great things of Eternity as cold and flat as ever But if it be so when we think of Death should it be so after we have seen it and God has been holding the frightful picture of it before our Eyes If this won't affect and awaken the Lord pity us what will When a near and dear Relation is gone the living should prepare to follow And if such an one died in hope it should add Life and Vigour to our endeavours for in them we see that to be prepared is no impossible thing After such a Providence it is seasonable adviseable and may be very profitable and useful to make this ensuing Reflection I am but poor Dust a crawling Worm breathing Clay a sinful Creature I must certainly and I may quickly die After a few more moments and hours I may after a few more weeks and years I must Ere long alas in a little little time it will be with me as it now is with this near and dear Relation of mine My breath will fail my pulse be low my tongue faulter my countenance change my visage will be marr'd my looks will be frightful and my body cold and stiff It is his or her turn to die now ere long it will be mine May not I be the next person that falls sick the next time this grave is opened may it not be to receive me The next Funeral out of this Family may it not be mine The next Arrow that is shot may it not glance by others strike me and leave me dead on the spot Do I think of living many years that it will be a long time before my present Lease be expired Vain thought do I talk of another year or day This may be my last and for ought I know it will be so And is it not O my Soul my grand duty my great concern and ought it not to be my chief care to make my peace with God to obtain the pardon of my sin and an interest in Christ to get grace wrought and the evidence of it that I may Die in Hope That on a Death-Bed I may firmly depend on the mercy of God in my sorrowful moments trust in the Merits of Christ and with my last breath commit my Soul to the care of my Redeemer with Faith and Confidence saying as some of the last words I shall ever speak in this World Lord Jesus receive my Spirit Act. 7. 59. Is one dead and another dead is my Father or my Mother my Husband or my Wife dead and shall not I prepare for the evil day that is coming apace and will be quickly here in that day in that moment I and my dearest friends must part in that moment my Soul and Body must be Divorc'd in that moment awful
be unthankful for the mercies of many For the mercies of my whole life Oh how evil and criminal would this be my flesh is pain'd my affliction great my sick-bed uneasie and the hand of God presseth me sore my tears and sorrows my innocent groans which I hope are only the voice of oppressed nature pierce the hearts and draw tears from the eyes of my dear Relations but yet O my Soul I charge thee by all that is solemn and sacred let there not be a murmuring thought a repining word or any peevish carriage Remember remember the days of Old the mercies of former times and be thankful Thy God hath been good is and will be so and be thou ALL LOVE and PRAISE Was it not God who form'd and fashion'd me in the Womb and brought me forth into the light with an entire and perfect body Were not all my members Ps 139. 16. written in his book and did not he watch over my substance while it was yet imperfect and did not he take care I should not be be born out of due time Was it not 1 Cor. 15. 8. he who appointed when where and of whom I should be born and did not he order all the circumstances of my birth in the best manner When I was a poor helpless infant when I hung on my Mothers breast and lay in my cradle did not he take the care of me Did not his providence watch over me in my Childhood and prevent many unknown and unseen dangers Did noâ— he in my youth keep me from the many evils which in that ungoverned age I was exposed to and might have brought upon my self Has not his careful eye been upon me from my first moments even until now how pretious are thy thoughts unto me O Ps 139 17. God! How great is the sum of them Was it not of God I had the happiness to be born of Religious Parents who set before me a good example wept over and prayed for me That I had seasonable instructions wholsome counsels and the benefit of a vertuous education in my first and early years Was it not he that restrained and with-held me from those sins and lusts which many are overtaken withal and I my self was in danger of in that age of folly and vanity Hath not he fed and cloathed provided for and defended me Been my refuge in a storm my sanctuary in a time of danger my deliverer in an evil day and my Physitian in sickness How oft hath he brought me out of the fiery furnace raised me from a sick bed renewed my strength and saved me from going down to the pit when in my own and others apprehension I was at the mouth of and ready to drop into it hath not he supplied my wants increased my substance blest my endeavours and given me a considerable portion of this Worlds goods Is it not of him I have Friends and Relations to be a comfort to me while others have none or such as are worse than none even a cross and a scourge to them Hath not his Arm upheld his power defended his mercy succoured his bounty supplyed his treasuries enricht me Hath not his providence been ever watchful over me and his holy Angels my constant and perpetual life-guard When in my affliction and pain I have cryed to him hath he not heard my groans regarded my tears answered my prayers in the fittest season and best manner eased or supported me removed my burden or given me strength and so ordered the affliction from first to last that I have been forc't to say Lord it is good for me I have been afflicted Psal 119. â—1 I have not only had the mercies of the left hand but those of the right not only temporal but Spiritual not only for a perishing body but more and greater for an immortal Soul Thanks be to God that he quickened and raised me when I was dead in Trespasses and Sins Eph. 2. 1. that he brought me to hear his Holy word and made it effectual for my conviction and conversion that the same word which was to others the savour of Death unto Death to me was the savour 2 Cor. 2. 16. of Life to Life That the same Word the same Blessed Gospel which blinded them enlightned me which left them in their sins and under the power of Satan brought me home to God for this thy special grace and mercy to my Soul Lord I do I will and hope I shall for ever bless thee Who or what am I What have I done or what can I do That I should be chosen and effectually called when others are not Lord Why didst thou call and convert me and not another me and not my Neighbour me and not him who sate in the same pew heard the same Sermon and for many years attended upon the same ministry Free grace distinguishing mercy differencing love Am I converted changed sanctified and pardon'd Lord I do I will admire and adore thy powerful and victorious grace Awake O my Soul awake prepare a song Oh love and bless and praise thy God I was an Apostate wretch a stubborn enemy a disloyal Rebel and it was a long time before I would lay down my weapons return to my duty and yield patience waited mercy invited ministers exhorted the Spirit pleaded conscience urged God expostulated with yearning bowels the Blessed Jesus called to me from Heaven and beseeched me by his wounds and tears blood-shed passion and death to be reconciled to God but I vile wretch that I was did not hear How many reproofs and counsels warnings and exhortations earnest pleadings and pathetick Sermons were lost upon me And blessed be God all were not that one did the work Did God convert me after many Sabbaths enjoyed and many Sermons heard in vain Infinite kindness Lord I bow and worship before thee and with all the powers of my immortal Spirit bless and praise thee Was it not God pityed me when I did not pity my self Who called after and stopt me when I was running head-long to Hell Who loosed my chains broke my bonds knockt off my setters and brought me out of the House of bondage Was it not he who with a mighty power and stretched-out arm delivered and rescued me when sin ruled and govern'd and Satan led me in triumph as his vassal and captive And shall not I though a sick and pained man adore and bless him Bless him I do I will Bless the Lord O my Soul Ps 103. 2. And all that is withim me bless his Holy Name Since my Conversion and becoming a new man since God took me into his family adopted and made me his Son how much and what great things have been done for me what sweet and ravishing Communion have I had in holy duties publick and private in the assembly of Saints and in my Closet what large speedy and remarkable answers of Prayer what a ravishing sense of Divine Love and Favour
what cursed streams has this bitter Fountain been sending forth how much how often and how greatly have I offended God! what one Commandment is there I have not broken in thought word or deed my sins are more than can be numbred and how many Legions of Lusts are quartered in my Heart oh that my Head were Waters and mine Eyes a Jer. 9. 1. Fountain of Tears that I might weep day and night Did I not once O my Soul live as without God in the World how many and great were the sins of my unregenerate state what a sinner Lord what a vile sinner was I then were not all the faculties of my Soul and Members of my Body the Instruments of Unrighteousness unto sin Did not sin sit in the Throne sway the Scepter and had it not the entire quiet and peaceable possession of my Heart Was not I a willing Slave an obedient Servant and a Volunteer in any wicked service was I not at the beck of every Lust the will of every Temptation and did not Satan carry me captive at his pleasure during that wretched state how did I forget God and my self Eternity and another World thwart the design of my Creation and cross the end of my being made a Man Was I not sensual carnal and earthly a stranger to an Holy Heavenly Life without any delight in God desire after or care to please him did I not run into Sin as the Horse rushes into the Battle without any fear how long O my Soul how long was I a grief to that blessed Jesus who wept and swet bled groan'd and died for me how did I despise his Grace slight his Love his dying Love spurn at his Bowels and trample on his Blood with what sweet and endearing melting and charming language did he plead with me he called but I did not answer he pleaded but I was not moved his Bowels yearned but my Heart did not relent how oft did the Holy Spirit move and work upon my Heart and how oft did I resist vex quench and grieve him how oft was my Conscience awakened and how soon did it fall asleep again Holy Lord I blush I am ashamed and confounded to look back upon this part of my life I weep Lord I weep I desire to weep bitterly for the sins of my unconverted state I wish again Oh that my Head were Waters and mine Eyes a Fountain of Tears that I might weep day and night How many and great have been my sins since my Conversion to and acquaintance with God How oft have I fallen to the dishonour of God the discredit of Religion the wounding of my self and grieving of others how many duties have been neglected and how many carelesly performed in a cold lazy and trifling manner how many of my Talents which might have been improved for the Glory of God my own comfort and the good of others have been wrapped up in a Napkin and buried in the Earth how weak is every Grace and how much evil is mixt with all my good how oft letting down my Spiritual Watch has Satan surpriz'd me and Temptation prevail'd how much have I conformed to the World complied with the sinful customs and fashions of it how much have I lived contrary to my Profession and below my hopes as a Christian what a slow progress have I made in the ways of Holiness how many younger Christians have out-stript got the start of and are gone before me nay have I not shamefully declin'd and backsliden and lost much of my first love zeal and tenderness how frequent and strong have been the workings of Spiritual Sins as unbelief pride passion envy and uncharitableness c. Lord how many have been the sins of this state and how are they aggravated by all that love and mercy thou hast shewn to me and the long experience I have had of thy bounty and goodness Art thou my God and have I affronted my Father and have I displeased thee have I by these sins wounded that Redeemer who died for me grieved that Holy Spirit who has comforted me ah sinful silly Soul what hast thou been doing what an hearty sorrow and unfeigned grief do these sins call for I mourn Lord help me to mourn more thou hast given me the habit of Repentance give me now in this evening of my Life to act and exercise it Oh for a broken Heart and a contrite Spirit oh for inward shame and hearty remorse oh for a melting frame and a bleeding Soul oh that this Rock might be broken and this Heart be turned more and more into an Heart of flesh My time is short my strength little my sins many and great Lord help me to live repenting and die repenting to go to my grave weeping Weeping not tears of despair but tears of Gospel-sorrow which make way for eternal joys I do repent Lord from the bottom of my Soul I do repent let my last repentance be most solemn particular and serious and do thou accept it wash me in these penitential waters and because these muddy waters can't cleanse wash me Lord wash me in the blood of Jesus for that can cleanse from all sin O pardon pardon a dying penitent who confesses and acknowledges his sins and flies to thy mercy through the merits of Christ My sins are gone over mine head as a burden Psal 38. 4. they are too heavy for me Sin is an heavy burden and intollerable but most of all so to a dying man Look upon mine Psal 25. 18. affliction and forgive all my sins If I must weep with one eye Lord let me read my pardon with the other I have deserved Hell and if God should cast me into it I have forfeited Heaven and if God should eternally banish me from that blessed place I must say Righteous art thou O Lord and upright Ps 110. 137. is thy Judgment But save me from the one and bring me to the other for thy mercies sake I find it is written He that Pro. 28. 13. confesseth and forsaketh his sins shall find mercy And again if we confess our sins he is 1 John 1. 9. faithful and just to forgive us our sins This I have done this I will do and shall I not obtain mercy I am ashamed and confounded I loath and abhor my self I repent in dust and ashes I wish I had never done as I have were I to live over my life again Divine grace assisting these Errata's should be corrected I do repent and will not God pardon I do heartily mourn and will not God forgive Oh for a pardon for Jesus sake mercy mercy Lord mercy for a dying sinner who comes unto thee according to the tenor of the Gospel The thing I ask is great and I sinful I wretched I am altogether unworthy but Christ is worthy Lord lo here is the blood which bought my pardon and it has been and is now crying in thine ears with a loud voice Lord
for all what the Apostle saith He that doth 1 Joh. 3. 7. Righteousness is righteous What can be the meaning what can be the import what sence can with any tolerable shew of reason be assigned but what suiteth with our present notion He that doth Righteousness i. e. He that perfectly obeys fulfils the whole Law is righteous Is this the meaning Then God help and pity us where shall we find a righteous man Is it He that doth righteousness that is he that being in a State of grace lives up to the rules of the Gospel is guilty of nothing but what is consistent with sincerity and is continually labouring after perfection is righteos Is this the import and gennine sense of this phrase Then thanks be to God some such are to be found And thus much for the first General the Character of the person here spoken of Secondly We are to consider what is here supposed and taken for granted with reference to this righteous man and that is he must die It may be you may think such an one as I have described should have a Protection be privileged from that which is the common lot of others be wafted over to Heaven from one World to t'other and not see Death be caught up to Paradise and not be put to the pain of dying But it is supposed and taken for granted in the Text that the righteous man must die 'T is true indeed our Lord Jesus the Captain of our Salvation hath perfum'd the grave conquered death and destroyed him that had the power of it He encountered this enemy conquered and triumphed over it and every righteous man shares in that victory and triumph Christ hath destroyed the power chang'd the nature pluckt out the sting of death and disarm'd it of its terrors and the righteous may boldly challenge it and with an exuberant joy triumph over it in the words of the Apostle O Death where 1 Cor. 15. 55. is thy Sting O Grave where is thy Victory The Sting of Death is Sin and the strength of sin is the Law But thanks be to God v. 57. which giveth us the Victory through our Lord Jesus Christ Thus O happy men may they triumph over death But yet their righteousness cannot shall not deliver them from the stroke of it No no Saints and Sinners Good and Bad the Holy and Prophane the Righteous and the wicked are under the same uncontroulable necessity of dying Though they shall not be damned yet they must die Though they shall not be sent to Hell yet they must go to the Grave Though they shall be saved from that hot fiery furnace yet not from the cold dark and silent Pit Though their Souls shall not become a Prey to Devils yet their Bodies must become a Banquet for Worms Though the Soul shall not be rackt and tortured in the dismal Regions below yet the flesh must see Corruption Though they have Mansions in Heaven yet Sickness will shake shake Alas Death will pull down the Walls and tear up the very Foundations of their Earthly Tabernacle Though they shall go to Heaven yet death will carry them thither in its cold Arms. Because Christ who is their Head and Husband Lives they shall Live also Live Where Joh. 14. 19 shall they live In Yonder glorious Heavens in Yonder blessed abodes in Mansions of light far above Yonder shining Sun there there it is these righteous ones shall live But alas They must die first Death hath been is and will be the passage to eternal Life And the Grave is in our way to Heaven As Death spares none for their tenderness and Beauty honours none for their wealth and grandure fears none for their strength and power reverences none for their Grey Hairs and Hoary Heads reprieves none for their flowing tears and passionate entreaties So neither will it pass by any for their Piety Religion and Righteousness With death there is no respect of Persons all must become a sacrifice to and lye Wounded Bleeding and Slain at the foot of it Holy Job cries I know thou wilt bring me to Death and to Job 30. 23. the House appointed for all the Living And David I go the way of all the Earth This 1 King 2. â— is among the Decretals of Heaven For Heb. 9. 27. it is appointed for men once to die Righteousness is no Armour against the arrows of Death No they will strike through and through and stick in our Hearts What is become of the holy Patriarchs Prophets and Apostles of our Lord Jesus Where are they Where Dead and Gone Where are they Their Souls are praising God in Heaven and their bodies sleeping in the dust of the Earth Your holy ancestors and progenitors that were the friends of God where are they Where Alass They are dead and gone and their Sepulchers are with us to this day Aâ—t 2. 19. they served the Will of God in their Generation and then died and after the experience of many Ages may we not ask and easily answer that Question of the Psalmist What man is he that liveth and Psa 39. 48. shall not see death Had we the meekness of Moses the Faith of Abraham the Integrity of Caleb the Patience of Job the Piety of David the Wisdom of Solomon yet we must die for lo these Men of God are gone before us for how many Ages have these righteous ones been sleeping in the bosom of the Earth our first and common Mother When we read in the Sacred History of the Holy Lives eminent Graces of Gods dear Saints how useful and serviceable they were in their time and place where and how long they lived do not we find and then he 〈◊〉 5. â— died concludes the History and makes up the Period Oh! how vast are the Dominions how extensive is the Empire of the King of Terrors In the Sacred Story we read but of two only viz. Enoch and Elias who by an especial grant and priviledge were exempted from this Law of Death they went immediately from Earth to Heaven when all others except those who shall be found alive at the end of the World must take the Grave in their way they were like living plants transplanted to the Heavenly Soil when our Bodies like Corn that is Sown must first rot and dye and then spring up again Death as things now stand is a debt that we all owe to Nature and will not be remitted no not to the Friends of God themselves The Saints are originally out of the same dust they as well as others dwell in Houses of Clay and Earthly Tabernacles and tho' they may be repaired by Food and Physick yet at last they will tumble the Body of a Saint is not made of more lasting Dust and durable Clay than the Body of a Sinner I grant that Sinners may impair their health and weaken nature by gluttony and drunkenness and other acts of intemperance how many
of such a Christian had I been as useful in the World and as serviceable in the Church as others then I could hope But poor doubting Christiaâ— why mayst thou not hope for all this Must all the Trees in God's Vineyard be equally fruitful Must all his Children be of the same size Must all that have true Grace have the same measure and degree of it thou canst not think so and why then may not such a one as thou art hope hast thou sincerity and uprightness then thou mayest for the Promise that is the 1 Pet. 1. 3. formal reason of hope is made to Grace as true not as strong All who are born of God are begotten again to a lively hope by the Resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead Tho' I must add 2. As to actual hope all that fall within this Character have it not either living or dying in the same degree The hope of some Christians is so firmly settled so deeply rooted it hath been so oft try'd and prov'd and found of the right stamp that come what will they will hold fast their confidence to the end It is well-grounded and like an house founded on a Rock Mat. 7. 25 it stands fast tho' the Winds blow the Floods come and the Rain descend Satan as cunning and subtil a Sophister as he is cannot argue them out of their hope of Heaven But on the contrary the hope of another Christian is so weak wavering and staggering that the least breath of a Temptation miserably shakes it and a few secret whispers of the malicious one make them call all into question Oh! how soon doth the poisonous breath of this hissing Serpent damp and kill all their hopes Oh! how many sincere Christians have a right to Heaven but do not know it how many are there who cannot get their doubts resolv'd their fears expell'd whose Sun sets in a Cloud and Luk. 10. 20. whose Evening is very dark their names are written in Heaven but they do not cannot rejoyce because they do not know it is so Death lands them safe on the Shore of a Blessed Eternity thro' God's Infinite Mercy they get well into Harbour but poor Souls how do they go off with weeping eyes sad thoughts and great fears of shipwrack and drowning It is not every Christian that in a dying hour can say God is my Father Christ my Saviour Heaven my home and in yonder yonder blessed World there is a Mansion for me How many after a long profession many tears prayers and holy duties both publick and private thro' the weakness of their knowledge unacquaintedness with themselves the temptations of Satan a melancholy temper and an unaccountable timerousness of spirit are not able to read their Evidences Others die with a full assurance of hope go to their Fathers house with joy and triumph and are able to give a reason of that hope that is in them both 1 Pet. 3. 15. to themselves and others How confidently doth the blessed Apostle Paul assert this hope We know if our earthly 2 Cor. 5. 1. house of this Tabernacle were dissolved we have a building of God an house not made with hands eternal in the Heavens How expressive of a strong unshaken and lively hope are those words of the same Apostle even when death was within sight I am now ready to be offered 2 Tim. 4. 6. v. 7. and the time of my departure is at hand I have sought a good fight I have finished my I have kept the Faith henceforth there is 〈…〉 â—ad up for â—â—e a Crown of Righteousness which the Lord the righteous Judge shall give 〈…〉 day What an unshaken confiâ—â—â—ce 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 is such an hope peculiar to an Apostle are such expressions only fit for the mouth of a Paul who had the priviledge to be caught up into Paradise No verily others have had the same lively hope Oh what strong assurance what clear evidences what blessed forecasts and what lively hopes is God pleased to give to some in a dying hour when their Souls stand upon the threshold of time and at the door of Eternity insomuch that they have been able to bid farewell to their dearest Relations submit to the stroke and kiss the cold hand of Death with a wonderful and triumphant Joy with a Joy too great for themselves to express and others to behold This hath made many a Christian say My work is done and blessed be God I have hope of the Reward The hour of my departure is at hand Oh my 〈◊〉 I must leave you and go unto my Father Death is welcome indeed it is welcome for I have hope of an Immortal and better 〈◊〉 know 〈◊〉 thanks be to God I can how long Lord how long come Lord Jesus come quickly I have hope of Heaven and Lord I long I long to be there What sweet what reviving Language is this how pleasing is the meditation of it is it not enough almost to put a man upon coursing Death that he might experience what it is to be in such a blessed frame Lord grant when ever I or my Reader come to die it might be thus with us This is my prayer for thee whoever thou art who readest these Lines the like prayer put up for me with a warm heart a fervent Soul and a lively Spirit and God for Jesus sake say Amen to both This caution premised I shall now consider what is the Object of this hope what good men may and do look for and expect at Death This shall be dispatcht in these following particulars First The Righteous at Death hath hope of a full and perfect freedom from all those evils they are liable to and must conflict withal in this present state In this valley of Tears and shadow of Death to how many and what great evils are we expos'd Man Job 14. â— that is born of a Woman is of few days and full of trouble Man is born oh Cap â—â— what a fine World is this to be fond of to trouble as the sparks flies upwards We come into the World with cries and tears we dwell in it in pain and sorrow We go out of it with sighs and groans How many tears do we shed how many groans do we utter how many complaints do we make upon the account of those evils which befall our selves or others for whose welfare we are and can't but be as much concern'd as for our own This World is a place of sorrow and tears and nothing can wipe away all tears from our Eyes till the hand of Death does The evils which befall us are so many and great so painful and afflictive the memory of what is past is so bitter the weight of what is present is so heavy the fear of what is future so vexing that we cannot be at rest till we close our Eyes and die and Death lays us fast asleep in the bosom of our Mother Earth Here
sloth and negligence by our omissions of duty or trifling in it by too great a conformity to the World and too easie a compliance with the men fashions and customs of it by listening to Temptations and running upon the occasions of sin by the immoderate use of things lawful or venturing upon what is unlawful really in its self or at least so to us because doubtful how oft by going contrary to the light of our Minds the checks of Conscience the Motions of the Holy Spirit the Directions of the Word and the rebukes of Providence do we even the best of us displease God grieve his Spirit break our peace disquiet our Minds and wound our own Consciences and how soon doth God by frowns and rebukes by withdrawing himself hiding his face denying a sense of his love and suspending in part or in whole the witnessing and comforting presence of his Spirit tell us he is displeas'd and make us sensibly know find and feel he is so are we not hereupon on a sudden left in darkness to be scared with our own melancholy guilty thoughts and the blacker suggestions of Satan the accuser of the Brethren Are we not bowed down greatly and our Souls not only Rev. 12 1â— disquieted but cast down within us Is not the day gloomy the cloud thick the night very dark and does not the poor deserted Soul with warm affection and passionate longing cry out Oh! that I could see him Don't we at such a time mourn and complain and cry out of the sadness of our Case to God and Man Are we not forc't in the bitterness of our Souls and anguish of our Spirits to say Oh! that it were with me as in months past when the Light of Gods Countenance was bright and shining and I convers'd with the Majesty of Heaven as a Man with his friend but it is not wo is me It is not so now oh that it were Lord when shall it be How oft do the Children of Light walk in darkness question their Adoption and Sonship their Covenant-Interest in and Relation unto God! How oft is there a Curtain drawn between Them and Heaven the Face of God Vail'd and the Light of his Countenance Eclips'd How oft does he withdraw and they cannot find wrap himself up in Clouds and Darkness and they cannot see him with what a pained heart grieved Soul with what an accent of sorrow does such an one cry out My God My God 〈◊〉 hast thou forsaken me I was 〈…〉 wonted to have Communion with God in Prayer to see him at a Sacrament I have had that enjoyment of God which 〈◊〉 would not have been without for all the 〈◊〉 Time was the Sabbath was my best day I long'd for the dawning of it and with joy welcom'd the Morning Light 〈◊〉 Ordinances where my delight 〈…〉 has often said how amiable are 〈…〉 〈…〉 O Lord of Hosts My Soul 〈…〉 yea even fainteth for the Courts of 〈…〉 Heart and my Flesh drieth out 〈…〉 God but now O my Soul what a change is this I pray but he giveth 〈…〉 answer I go to his Table with this Wish Let him kiss me with the 〈…〉 kisses of his Mouth but even there month after month I do not see the King's Face if he be my God my Father and Friend why is it thus with me from how many may we hear such bitter complaints as these But the Righteous at Death hath hope of deliverance from these inward spiritual and therefore most afflictive evils and such an â—â—e in the Evening of Life may say after a â—â—â—tle while and I shall no more offend grieve or displease my heavenly Father and he will always look upon me with a smiling Face a favourable Eye and a pleased Countenance I shall noâ— see him as I now do in a Glass 1 Co. 13. 1â— darâ—ly but Face to Face I shall dwell in his Presence stand before his Throne and enjoy his Favour which is better than Life I shall love God and feel that I love him God shall love me and make me know it and tho' I have often questioned both yet then I shall douâ—t of neither I have had many cloudy days disconsolate hours and dark nights many sad thoughts perplexing doubts and tormenting fears as to my spiritual and eternal state O ETERNITY ETERNITY how have the thoughts of it amaz d troubled me and sometimes made me even tremble but in this sickness I am better satisfied than ever now my fears are gone my doubts in great part resolv'd Now Evening is come and it is neither day nor night the light of Gods Countenance â—â—ch 14. 7. shines upon me Bless the Lord O my Soul and all that is within me bless his Psal 103. 1. Holy Name this is but the pledge of those more full and lasting Beams which shall scatter all my Clouds what I now feel is but a little a very little to what I shall Are the shadows of the Evening stretched out upon me Is night coming It is day the light of Gods Countenance makes it day and blessed be God this is but the dawning of that everlasting day which now is near hand and which will perfectly and for ever scatter all my fears Thus the Righteous hath hope in his death of an absolute freedom and final deliverance from these great and almost insuppâ—rtable evils we wretched mortals we who yet dwell in flesh are exposed to he can and he does hope that after a few hours he shall be afflicted pestered with sin buffeted by Satan deserted by God no more for ever tho' he cannot see his Lusts actually giving up the Ghost and dying yet he hopes he and his sins shall dye together tho' Satan may Dog him to the utmost borders of time yet he hopes he shall not follow him into Eternity that tho' some scruples may remain and his afflictions and pains will not be over 'till death hath done its work yet he hopes death will put an end to all Secondly The Righteous hath hope in his Death what hath he then hope of of a Convoy of blessed and holy Angels to secure his passage to the other World Man consists of a Body and Soul when he dies a separation is made the body is left the Soul is gone friends take care of the Body that it may have a decent Burial and truly some respect and honour is due to the Corps to the very dust of them who sleep in Jesus and even after death remain united to him as to this the dying Christian is not much concern'd for he knows his Lord will find it at his coming where-ever it be laid but the Soul being more noble his great care is for that and he hopes Angels will be ready to conduct in to the glorious and eternal Mansions above Holy and confirmed Angels who have as much good nature in them as they have strength and power are very serviceable to us men especially to
Providences And what relief might we have during the days of our mourning from these and the like considerations And Thanks be to God we upon whom Death has lately made a breach have this to comfort us Concerning this Relation of ours and Servant of God I will not say any thing the secrecy she always affected and my relation to her forbids me to blow the Trumpet at the mouth of her Grave She is Dead dead She is faln asleep in Jesus the Will of the Lord is done God grant that I in particular and the rest she has left behind who a while ago had a loving careful and tender Mother but now have none may SO Live and SO Die For blessed Rev. 14. 13. are the Dead which die in the Lord they rest from their Labours and their Works do follow them THE END DEATH-BED Reflections DEATH-BED Reflections Suitable to the preceding DISCOURSE And Proper for a RIGHTEOUS MAN in his Last Sickness I. This World and all in it is changeable Man in particular is so Death is certain and unavoidable What is to be done by a Righteous Man in his Sickness supposing it to be his last ALL things under the Sun are subject to change and what is so sooner or later will have an end THIS World and the fashion thereof 1 Cor. 7. 31. and all that is in it is passing away God is the same yesterday to day and for Heb 13. 7. ever but nothing else is or can be so Nothing here below is like a Mountain which cannot be moved by those mighty and sportive Waves which beat and dash against it but like a Feather which is driven hither and thither with the smallest Breath This World of ours tho' vain Mortals are foolishly fond of and excessively dote upon it as it had a BIRTH so it shall have a FUNERAL day the World's Morning and Noon is past and the Evening is at hand All these things shall be dissolv'd Nature groan 2 Pet. 3. 11. die and give up the Ghost Lord how quickly shall the Angel lift up his hand and swear by him that liveth for ever and ever that time shall be no more the old World was drowned with Water this v. 6. v. 7. shall be destroyed or resined by Fire tho' according to his promise we look for New Heavens v. 13. and a new Earth wherein dwelleth Righteousness In this mutable World nothing is more sickle and inconstant frail and uncertain vain and changeable than Man and what belongs to and makes up his Earthly happiness How uncertain are Prov. 23. 5 Riches may they not make themselves Wings and fly away and have they not often done so may not what we have been toiling labouring and sweating for many years be gone from us in a few hours Tho' Riches and Wealth Descend from Father to Son yet how oft doth Providence cut off the entail and he never enjoy what he was born to tho' a careful and provident Father may leave his Son a fair Estate and a good Inheritance he may live in want and die a Begger and not leave enough to buy a Cossin and purchase a Grave some unhappy accident or other may strip him naked before death does How uncertain is health and strength without which all other comforts are insipid if I am strong one day may I not be weak the next if I am well in the morning may I not be sick before evening if I am at ease to day may I not be rackt tortur'd and pain'd to morrow Lord when thou with rebukes correctest Psal 39. 11. man for iniquity thou makest his beauty to consume away like a moth surely every man is vanity All these changes are but melancholy presages of and preparatory to our great and last when we shall be changed from living Dust into breathless Clay There is a time to die Since the first Age the first Man Adam Eccl. 3. 2. death has been reigning and yet death is not satisfied nor the Grave yet glutted with Carkasses This Earth oft changes its Inhabitants one Generation comes and Eccle. 1. 4. another goes our Ancestors moulder into Dust croud closer together and at length become Graves to bury us LIFE what is it A shadow which quickly vanishes a Vapour which suddenly disappears a Flower that fades and Grass which quickly withers and dies LIFE what is it a Candle that lies at the mercy of every stormy and blustering Wind a Lamp that burns a while but will go out for want of Oil to maintain the languishing and expiring flame If we search the Records of the Grave we shall find as many proofs and witnesses of our mortality as there are rotten Bones and Skulls How many Infants are only born live weep and die So that even out of the Mouths Psal 8. 2. of these Babes and Sucklings we may learn this sad and certain truth a time to die How many young Men has Death mowed down in the Morning how many of these has the cold hand of Death undrest before Evening and laid them to sleep in a Bed of Dust even at Noon-day and do not they cry in the Ears of the living there is a time to die Does not every Feaver that scorches us every fit of the Stone Gout and Cholick that puts us on the Rack every Ague that shakes the Walls and loosens the Pins of this Earthly Tabernacle every Dropsie that threatens to Drown us every Palsie that benum's every Lethargy that lulls us asleep repeat over this melancholy and awakening truth There is a time to die verily O my Soul every Man in his best estate is altogether vanity What is true concerning all and every one of Adam's Posterity Lord help me to apply to my self in particular to believe consider weigh and work upon my Heart this common truth I must die Let me not only have some general notional and speculative knowledge but a particular serious warm and practical one a knowledge that may be useful and serviceable to the best purposes a knowledge that may awe my Conscience warm my Soul and powerfully influence my Heart and Life It is impossible to be ignorant of this but Lord how cold unactive dull and ineffectual were all thoughts of this kind when I was well and strong oh that they may make more powerful and abiding impressions upon my Heart now I am sick and weak These very pains I now feel this disease this present affliction which makes me sigh and groan this sickness which I suppose will be my last tell me I must die and call upon me to prepare for such a time that now cannot be far off Lord help me in this my great and last work oh that sense and feeling might help my Faith this fire warm my Heart and what I now feel prepare me for my last pains pangs and conflicts which are like to be much sharper I have visited others some of them my near and
dear Relations in their sickness I have seen them sick weak and full of pain I have seen their cold sweats their mortal tremblings and heard their last and dying groans and now it 's my turn to be sick and my time to die Die how hard and difficult a work is this of what great concern and everlasting importance Die who does or can know what it imports but those who are dead and gone I thought it hard to see my Friend my Father my Mother dye but shall I not find it more difficult now I am to dye my self the Messenger of Death has laid hold on me I believe this sickness will be my last I have no hope of recovery I have been sick and God hath recover'd me at the Mouth of the Grave and God hath brought me back I have gone from my Sick-bed and Chamber to my Shop and Trade but now I verily believe I shall do so no more my Sun is setting my Glass is run there are but a few remaining Sands the Grave with open mouth is waiting for me and in a little time I shall drop into it Most Holy Lord assist me now and leave me not through thy Grace I have lived help me Lord help me now to dye as a Christian in these hours and moments prepare me more and better for my last I have lived Rom. 14. 8. Rev. 14. 13. to oh that now I might die in the Lord and fall asleep in Jesus Preparation for Death Judgment and an Eternal World thanks be to God I have not neglected I did not in health adjourn this work to a time of sickness in order to this I have made many a Prayer shed many a Tear abstain'd from sin and crucified the Flesh I spent much of my time in trying my self searching my Heart and examining my State in repenting of and amending what I found amiss I was convinc'd a few death-bed Tears and languishing Prayers extorted by fears of Death and Hell would not make amends or be a sufficient compensation for the sins of a wicked Life and therefore through the Grace of God assisting me I made it the business of my Life to prepare to dye But something more is to be done that I may glorify God in my Death and be for ever happy after it what remains and is now to be done in this my last sickness instruct me Lord and help me to do it I now stand at the Mouth of the Grave upon the Threshold of Time and at the Door of Eternity Lord increase strengthen and quicken all those Graces which are proper to be acted in a time of sickness and on a death-bed Oh! that now I am a sick oh that now I am a dying man my Faith Love and Hope my Repentance Humiliation and Sorrow my desires and breathings after God my joy and delight in him may be more lively and active than ever oh that this last work of my Life may be done best my sick bed joys may be the greatest and my dying comforts most abundant through these painful hours and days this dark and narrow gloomy and frightful passage guide direct and lead me Lord The exercise of some graces the performance of some duties are peculiarly seasonable in a time of health and life and others are so in Sickness and at Death Thou hast helpt me to live and now Lord help me to die If I have made any preparation for such a time and hour as this If I have done any of the work of my Life and conversed in this World as an expectant of a better if I have any grace and at any time have been able to act it if my love has been 〈◊〉 my zeal flaming my heart softned â—umbled broken and melted and mine eyes a fountain of tears to bewail the slips and falls I have been guilty of if I have delighted in God through Christ as my reconciled Father Portion Happiness and End if I have exercised self-denyal in keeping under the flesh restraining its appetites and denying its cravings in contemning the World and slighting those adored vanities which bewitch charm and intangle so many if at any time my hope of Heaven hath been lively my longing panting and breathing after it strong and warm if I have mortified any sin resisted any temptation performed any duty with success so as to profit my self and please God if I have done any thing whereby the glory honour and interest of God and Christ has been advanced if I have imployed improved my talents and gained more if I have brought forth fruit done any work and service in my generation and place Lord it is owing to thee to the assistances of thy grace and the influences of thy Holy Spirit and I desire to acknowledge it is so saying with thy holy Apostle by the grace of God I am what I am Not I but the 1 Co. 15. 10. grace of God which was with me Oh for the same grace and mercy aid and help now I am a sick and dying man Oh that God would help me in these painful days and sorrowful hours to glorifie him yet more by doing the work which is proper to such a time that my present sickness and death may be for the glory of God the honour of Religion the good of my self and others Particularly help me Lord to be truly thankful for all thy mercies for those innumerable favours confer'd on such a worm such a wretch as I am bring them to my remembrance and enable me unseignedly to bless thee help me O my God to exercise a serious solemn and particular repentance for my past sins Let Oh! let this heart of mine be more humble broken and penitent than ever Finally help me Lord with patience and calmness submission and resignation to submit to thy holy will to be willing to die now with faith and hope trust and confidence to commit my Soul to the care of my dear and blessed Jesus And to these ends Lord bless the following meditations to me and let neither my Eye nor Tongue out-run or leave my Heart behind II. God's goodness is to be acknowledged though he afflicts us at present An enumeration of past mercies temporal and Spiritual And solemn thanksgiving for both God is good and doth good freely constantly and unweariedly and I am fully convinced of both My faith and reason prove the former my very sense and long experience the latter And though now I am sick and weak afflicted and pained though I feel the weight of his hand and the smarting of his rod neither Flesh nor Devil shall persuade me to think otherwise Though he afflicts me now yet hath he not done me good all my days and shall not I bless him for his mercies Mercies that are more than I can number greater than I can value and far beyond my deserts Shall the afflictions of a few days the pains of a few hours make me O my Soul forget slight or
what holy motions and breathings what enlivening quickening and comforting influences of the Holy Spirit have I had how oft hath God supported my drooping and reviv'd my dying Spirits answered my doubts expell'd my fears and treated me as a Friend nay more as a Son how hath God in mercy restrained the Tempter or wisely ordered the Temptation as to the nature strength and continuance of it what succour and support what strength and assistance have I experienc'd at such a time and how oft through Grace have I been more than a Conquerour when I sinn'd and fell God did not cast me off banish me his family and null the former Relation but pittied me a faln Christian when he heard my groans and saw my penitential Tears his Bowels yearned he took me up and embraced me in the Arms of his Mercy wiped my weeping Eyes comforted my sorrowful Heart and said Son be of good chear thy sins are forgiven Mat. 9. 2. thee Oh! the joy oh the unspeakable joy of that hour methinks I yet sensibly feel what lively and warm impressions those words made upon my Heart upon my Heart that the moment before was ready to sink and dye within me when I was covered with Tears Blushing and Shame when I lay sighing sobbing and groaning at his Foot-stool crying out in the bitterness of my Soul I have sinned I have sinned before I rose from my knees before I said Amen my God came and said I have pardoned I have pardoned and now go in peace For the mercy and kindness of that hour Lord I bless thee now When through the weakness of my Grace the strength of my Corruptions and the power of Temptation I have wandred and gone astray when my zeal has abated my affections been cooled when I have been remiss negligent and careless back-sliding and on the declining hand he sent some affliction or other to call me back to awaken warm quicken and recover me When I have loved the World too much and my God too little when my affection to Earth has been too warm and to Heaven too cold when duties have been neglected or performed without life vigour and zeal when I begun to be too Worldly Earthly and Sensual he suffered me to meet with disappointments took away part of my Estate snatcht away a bosom Friend a dear Relation filled my Body with pain shook me over the Grave and threatned to cast me into it and all this with a merciful design to reform and make me better And Lord I thank thee any afflictions have been sanctified to such an end that the voice of the Rod has been accompanied with that of thy Spirit and both were effectual to reclaim me that at any time I came out of the fire more refin'd and purg'd and that those Waters of Affliction washt away my filthiness Lord I can do and will bless thee for seasonable corrections and the discipline of thy Rod. So good and kind so liberal and bountiful so merciful and gracious hath God been to me I have had so much for Body and Soul for time and eternity that I am fill'd with wonder and must cry out Oh the heighth and depth length and breadth of the love of God! my mercies have been more than my moments and every single mercy deserves and calls for a Psalm of Praise Lord when I am dead and in a silent Grave I cannot praise thee and therefore now I will blessed be God I lived till I was born again that ever I heard of that sweet that blessed that charming name JESUS and that I was enabled to believe on him for all the Mercies I have had in this World and for the hope and prospect of more and better in the next Blessed be God for Pardoning Mercy Sanctifying Grace and the Blood of Jesus to wash and cleanse me a sinner Blessed be God for the supports and comforts I have in this sickness that Satan is restrain'd and my own corruptions curb'd Blessed be God I am made meet for Heaven and that I know I am Lord what Grace is thine how free and sovereign What love is thine how constant and matchless how sweet how exceeding sweet is the thought that God hath loved doth love me and will do so unto the End I 'll bless thee Lord while I live thank thee with my last Breath and O my God through Christ thy Son and my Saviour accept my dying praises Bless the Lord O my Soul bless the Lord for me O my Friends bless the Lord O ye his Holy Angels my single voice is not sufficient may every Tongue all breath praise his holy name Amen HALLELUJAH III. After Death cometh Judgment what an awakening Thought this is and ought to be How this Thought may and should be improv'd by us in our last Sickness particularly to put us upon Confession the exercise of Repentance and earnest Prayer to God for Pardoning Mercy SICKNESS Summons Men to die Death Summons them to Judgment May this Sickness be my last and do I suppose it will hearken O my Soul and thou may'st hear Deaths Voice Come unto the Bar come give an account of thy Self to God in the NAME of the ETERNAL GOD whose Servant and Messenger I am I cite thee O Man to make thine appearance before the Tribunal of thy Maker Sovereign and Judge in the other World Awful Tidings what awakening and startling words are these must I O my Soul quickly Dye and after that be judg'd go from my Death-bed to the Bar of an Infinitely Holy Just and Jealous God must my Life be examined all my Actions scanned and my everlasting state in that moment be determined must a Righteous and Irreversible Doom pass upon me must I Dye in one moment and in the next be Judg'd and shall not I search my ways examine my state take a survey of my Heart and Life before I pass to that final and irreversible Judgment and hold up these guilty hands of mine at God's Tribunal shall I not endeavour to know what has been amiss that I may confess be humbled for repent of it and beg pardon Lord help me a sick Lord for Jesus sake help me a dying man in this serious solemn work help me to find out my sins to repent and implore thy mercy through the Lord Jesus Christ who is my only hope in Life at Death and after Death I was born a sinner and came into the World guilty and polluted behold I was shapen in iniquity and in sin did my Mother Psal 51. 5. conceive me As I am a Child of Apostate Adam dreadful thought I am unlike to the Holy and Blessed God and resemble the Devil the worst of Beings and had I no other sin this were enough to shame confound silence and condemn me But alas have I not found this original sin active in my Heart and fruitful in my Life with what force and violence has it hurried me to the commission of sin oh
to thy holy pleasure and am entirely willingly to die now if thou think it best and most convenient my slavish fears of Death have been a pleasure to Satan a torment to my Self a dishonour to God a blemish to my Profession a disgrace to my Hopes Lord at last help me to overcome them Oh! that I could passionately long that Death would come and waft me over to yonder pure and blessed undefiled and eternal Regions while I am so excessively fond of this vain sinful and wretched life while I stand trembling and shivering on the confines of time and am loth to enter into a blessed Eâ—ernity how may all the Inhabitants above wonder at my folly Oh that my Faith Love and Hope might be increas'd and strengthned that I might pant and long wish desire and groan to be in Heaven What abundant reason O my Soul have I to be willing to dye and dye now if God so please have I not met with those crosses and disappointments with those troubles and miseries which are sufficient to wean me have I been tossed on the Waves driven by the Winds endangered by many a Storm and should I not rejoice I can see Land and am so near a quiet Harbour how oft upon the account of Temptations from â—atan Afflictions from God the Rebukes of his Providence the Hidings of his Face and the withdrawings of his Spirit have I complain'd groan'd and wept and shall I be unwilling to have my burdens removed my sorrows ended and all Tears wiped from mine Eyes is not the World mine Enemy and has it not really been unkind to me and shall I be loth to leave it amazing folly if I should live longer even till the Almond does flourish to extream Eccl. 12. 5. old Age should I not be unprofitable to others and a burden to my self and only an insignificant Cipher among my Fellow Creatures is it not better for me to die now than to live till the World is weary of me and I am weary of my self too Am I not O my Soul a Stranger and Pilgrim upon Earth am I not born from above and do I not belong to another Countrey and should not my temper be suitable to my character that is should I not be weary of my Pilgrimage and long to be at home are not Strangers and Pilgrims wont to be so our Journey say they is long and tedious oh that we were at home in our own Countrey among our own People and Kindred a stranger that hath a Journey to go would pass over it as soon as he can his thoughts mind and heart are set upon home and he longs to be there notwithstanding the conveniences and accommodations of his Inn the pleasantness of the Countrey c. yet he longs to be at home And shall I desire to be a wandring Pilgrim in this World when I might and God would have me be a setled Inhabitant in the other oh how becoming my character is it to send sighs groans and prayers as Harbingers to Heaven to tell my God I would fain be there Why do I not cry out here Woe is me I am a stranger and sojourner when shall I come to my own Countrey my Eternal Home to my Elder Brethren and Spiritual Kindred many are gone before and I follow after but blessed Jesus when shall I come to thee my God my Saviour my Hope my Treasure my Happiness my All is in another Countrey oh that I were there too how should the hardships and difficulties the ill usage and sorry entertainment I meet with in my Pilgrimage make me long for home and willing to go whenever my Heavenly Father sends for me Have I not O my Soul been pestered with sin all my life long has it not cost me many a sigh and groan tear and prayer how oft have I offended my God displeased my Father grieved my Redeemer wounded my Conscience and defiled my Heart and if I live longer shall I not sin more is there any hope sin will dye till I do and can I bear the Thought that I should for so many years yet to come offend so good a God hath not this flesh been a snare to me and this body an instrument of much evil and shall I be loth to put it off is not sin my heaviest burden my sorest Enemy have I not often said so and often cried out O wretched man Rom. 7. 23. that I am who shall deliver me from the Body of this Death and shall I be unwilling to be delivered now Criminal Hypocrisie hath not sin defiled all my powers and faculties wounded my Conscience harden'd my Heart dampt my joy disquieted my mind disturbed my peace and brought many an affliction upon my Body hath it not eclipsed the light of Gods Countenance and caused my God and Father my Redeemer and Saviour to stand afar off and shall I not be willing to dye now that I may sin no more Have not I O my Soul been designing Heaven and Praying for Heaven what is the end of all my Sacred Duties Holy Services and Religious Worship but that I may be Saved and get to Heaven and is God calling me to Heaven and shall I be loth to go and all this because this Body must dye first Heaven O my Soul what a sweet and charming word is it and what a pleasant sound does it make Heaven what an happy and desireable place is it Heaven what a delightful and ravishing Theme is this Heaven is not one Thought one single view enough to Transport with Joy and make a Man cry out oh that I were there is God now calling me to Heaven to Heaven the Throne of Divine Majesty the Presence Chamber of the Eternal King to Heaven where I shall have the Vision of God ravishing sights of the Blessed Jesus and the Company of Holy Angels and blessed Souls to Heaven that for Beauty and Glory Transcends not only all that has been seen but all that can be imagin'd shall I refuse and draw back how beautiful are these lower Heavens which are but the Porch and outward Court to the other and how much must the Third Heaven the Temple of the Divine Majesty the Habitation of Glorious Angels in â—eauty and splendor excel these is this the place I shall go to when I dye and can I with any tolerable shew of reason be unwilling to dye now ah sinful silly Soul dost thou draw back art thou unwilling to leave this body what to go to Heaven What! to go to such a glorious happy World Art thou indeed unwilling and art thou not to be blam'd Blam'd thou art for what egregious folly is this can I thus slight Heaven and not blush to think I do Moreover O my Soul If I am a Christian I have solemnly taken God for my only Portion my Ultimate End and Soveraign Happiness I love him and my Saviour above all more than Father or Mother House or Land Estate or