dispersing with his brightnesse the clouds of ignorance and enflaming with his heat the coldnesse of affection so true finde we that which our Saviour speaks of himself in Saint John I am the light of the world he that followeth me shall not walk in darknesse but shall have the light of life In darknesse that is the darknesse of sin but shall have the light of life that is that living light which quickens the heart unto goodnesse and enliveneth the affections Enliveneth the affections With cheerful thoughts with nimble active love With flames of zeal which never cease to move to move upwards and give their humble attendance upon the Almighty In the act of Repentance we shall as it were throw down our selves before God with a filial remorse and melting sorrow for our offence somtimes casting an eye upon the exceeding vilenesse of our sin and then weeping and grieving and vexing our selves that we should be creatures so wretched as to commit that which though there were no God to obey not Law to transgresse yet a man would be ashamed and scorn to do somtimes casting an eye to consider not so much what it is in it self as against whom and then it is ten times grief to think that we should so highly offend him that hath always been so good so loving and as I may say so too much merciful unto us that we should displease him whose infinite goodnesse is more then that we are able in the least degree to deserve though we should with all the veins of our hearts continually obey him counting it a most tender thing to grieve him which hath vouchsafed us to be as dear unto himself as the very apple of his eye We shall I say weep and grieve and vex our selves for it is to be noted that we do seldom finde the true and effectual comfort of Repentance without tears when the eye can kindly run down with streams of water then doth our heart begin to feel ease then doth that burden begin to be light which before was so heavie and then will the light of grace begin to shine in upon our souls and kindle our affections with that zeal of David Psal 86. 11. O knit my soul knit it faster unto thee that I may fear thy Name Many times thus in the passion of our souls are we so overjoyed as it were at the return of Gods favour that we could even suffer our hearts to be pluckt out of our breasts to offer them up in devotion unto him and therefore now do we lift up our souls with such a servent desire of better obedience that henceforth it seemeth not enough for us to go or walk but we must run the way of thy Commandments O Lord since thou â—ast thus set our hearts at liberty To hang down the head like a bulrush Isai 58. 8 and to be covered with the sackcloth of dejection for our sins this verily is not the main this is but the outside and beginning of Repentance It onely doth before prepare the way Telling some news of the approaching day A lively resolution of the heart to redeem the time this is the soul and reality thereof Repentance is but dead without a lively heart and surely it never doeth us good till it thus come unto the quick Well now when the Almighty hath thus breathed into our souls this breath of life then doth our hope revive again in the confidence of pardon and then also shall we be so sensibly affected with Gods infinite mercies towards us that these his mercies like those bands of love Hos 11. 4 do tye us far more to his obedience then before all the faculties of both body soul do seem too little for us to do him service with that so in some measure we may requite his love in forgiving by our love in obeying the more God forgives us the more we do always love him so that we may justly witnesse the truth of that which our Saviour saith To whom God hath forgiven much he will love him much This love of God doth usually raise in us a holy indignation against sin to hate to abhor and as it were trample it under our feet making us zealously to take part with God against our selves who have thus took part with sin against God and therefore shall we be ready to enjoyn a kinde of penance to our souls and to execute in Gods behalf a revenge upon our selves so that if it were possible we might give him a due recompence and satisfaction for our offence The effect of Repentance is That we shall feel our consciences satisfied our hearts at rest and our selves joyfully at one with God again and then will our soul make her boast of the Lord that hâ— hath put a new song into our mouthes even a song of thanksgiving for this great deliverance according to that of David O Lord thou hast been exceeding gracious unto us wherefore as for our soul it shall be talking of thy righteousnesse and of thy praise all the day long We cannot cease I say We cannot cease from morn till night thy goodnesse to set forth O Lord 't is now our whole delight to wonder at thy worth Thus a while are we full of praises and thanksgiving unto God And now then with such a strong and powerful confidence in him do we go on in our wonted course of divine Meditations that our thoughts do as it were scorn the earth being like Elijah in the fiery charet of zeal mounted up to dwell in heaven onely and in heavenly things our Phancie will be all for the high and lofty speculations of God of Christ of Eternity of the World to come c. The private leasure and holy silence of the minde froâ— outward things giveth such advantage to the soul to flee upwards that for the present we are even Dâ—ified with these glorious objects and are become Saint-like in our thoughts but when it comes down again to the practick part for the conversation of ourlives when these Speculations are to be actuated into a good behaviour lo then it proves that there is nothing at all in us of Saints no not scarce of men or at leastwise of very weak and frail men then all that we can do is but to desire to keep our selves from sin or to be unwilling to enter into temptation that that for the most part is the furthest we do proceed but to withstand and vanquish or put off sin are we seldom able in the leâ—st degree and therefore we may well aâ—k the question with Saint Paul Who shall deliver us from this body of fin since the highest period of strength thaâ— we do here attain unto is able to do little even so little that I may justly say it is but as the shadow of somthing rather then anything and indeed altogether as it were nothing in reality though somthing in intention Well now being in the state of Repentance we can carefully
take heed of the least sins directing our conversation in a more elevated and steady course then usual as conceiving our selves to lie open to the awful view of an Omnipotent and most glorious Deity as also we can more duely humble our selves and pray before him with a fervent with a lively earnestnesse and confidence of obtaining For first the abundant experience of Gods great love towards us together with that loving affection which we feel in our hearts towards him again breeds a kinde of union and friendship betwixt God and our souls and this union begets a trust and confidence in him and then this confidence doth fully perswade us that we shall prevail with him in any thing so that it be best for us to obtain it I say Best for us that is for our good though not always to our liking our Prayers verily 't is sit they should be confident but they may not be obstinate and self-will'd Nature doth use to take it harsh not to have her desire granted but David's resolution in Psal 39 will at length pretty well satisfie her I became dumb and opened not my mouth for it was thy doing For it was thy doing that 's the reason to stop our mouthes and hold us contented And 't is our Saviours reason and resolution in Matth. 36. 39 Neverthelesse not as I will but as thou wilt Gods will we are sure is far better then ours and therefore good reason it is that ours should in all patience and humility be ruled by his better it is in his care for he hath a greater care over us then we can have of our selves and better in his wisedom and foreknowledge for he knoweth far better what is good for us then we know for our selves Our sinful wills do seldom aim aright Lord give us what is fitting in thy sight What thy good will and pleasure is and we are contented Again as we have such a submissive trust and confidence of obâ—â—â—ning in Prayer so are we always more affectionately apprehensive of what we do pray then in the time of sin our thoughts can go along and keep turn with the words of our Prayers at the confession of sins shall we feel our selves pressed with the burden of our wretchednesse at the Petitions of grace our soul will be athirst after the living God Oh when shall we be satisfied with the fulnesse of his mercies at Thanksgiving for his Blessings our heart doth as it were run over with the abundance of his loving-kindnesse Even so hath thy Mercies embraced us on every side that who can set forth thy praise O Lord or declare the goodnesse that thou hast done for our souls Thus I say we can now keep our thoughts neerer to the sense in prayer then at other times and yet we shall finde it at the best time of our Devotion very difficult to keep our intention close to it any long while specially in Publike praying for do what we can ever and anon our mindes will be sliding away from the matter in hand and dreaming upon other imaginations at least some other thoughts on the sudden do come athwart us and put us from the sense so that seldom do we hold our intention steady upon it thorowout a whole Prayer unlesse it be very short For we may here pertinently take notice that sin is so naturally rooted in us and all Mankinde that 't is a very hard task if with due inward silence we observe it in our selves to keep our secret thoughts within compasse even whilst the eye of Conscience is most watchful I say Even whilst the Star of Jacob shines most bright In us to purge away the dark of night So that it was no marvel David said that the righteous man falleth seven times a day whenas there is seldom an hour in the day even in the purest condition of our life specially if we have any concernment to be conversant in outward affairs I say scarce an hour wherein extravagant and unlawful imaginations or desires do not most thrust themselves into the minde which though perhaps indeed the awaking care of Conscience by Gods help doth quickly check out again with shame in these or the like motions of dislike as Fie t is not right God forbid yet the Corruption of nature hereby sheweth it self to be always active in us though it doth not now prevail as it would O Lord God our best Condition in this world thou knowest is but as a night in which thougb there be some light shining within us yet is there much more darknesse and therefore our experience methinks doth most fitly and naturally Moralize that expression of thine concerning our Saviour Numb 24 where thou hast called him by thy holy Spirit The Star of Jacob even as it were the day star of heaven arising in our hearts a star and that befitting the night and yet a star which shineth to our Souls and Consciences with a blessed light of joy and comfort and so as Saint John with his Baptizing tears of Repentance prepared the way for our Saviour to be entertained in the souls of men so I say the watery clouds of sorrow for sin passing away from our reâ—enting souls do unvayl our Saviour unto us that Star and Light of divine grace that he may shine out again as the joyful Light of our Salvation And O most merciful Saviour thou that art here a Star unto us a Day-star appearing before the Sunrising be thou hereafter in heaven the Sun it self the Sun of Righteousnesse shining in most perfect glory unto all Eternity But to go on Lo the sweet Olive branches that this Noab's Dove Repentant reconciliation bringeth in unto the soul It is said Prov. â—8 1. That the righteoâ—â— are as bold as a Lion Lord who is there that can say he is righteous before thee when as the very Angel are unclean in thy sight much more are we the very best piece of whose life is as a menstruous cloth defiled with grosse imperfections yet see the neerer we draw on thereunto the lesse fearful we are the terriblenesse of thunder which according to the Poet Is apt with fear to shake the mindes of men Jussit humanas motura-tonitrua mentes or the hideous examples of Gods Judgements and the â—ike nay even terrible death it self which according to the Ancients is naturally 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 the most terrible of all terrible things all these with which we are wont to be affrighted do not now strike us with so deep a passion of fear nor go thorow our loyns with such a terrour and that not at all because of any deadnesse of Conscience but out of the livelinesse of faith I say Because the Lord as it is in Psal 27 being our light and our salvation whom then methinks should we fear the Lord being the strength of our life that is the trust and confidence of our souls of whom or of what should we be afraid Again the
did at the newes of Iosephs life and prosperity It is enough wee are full and so fully satisfied with this heavenly Manna even this very food of Angels that here doe wee sit downe and feed our selves perhaps some houres at a time on this Celestiall sweetnesse Our silent thoughts now take their holy scem To walke about the new Ierusalem And marke â—ow there each precious stone doth vy Which may give brightest lustre to the eye How doe wee desire to rest and dwell continually in this Paradise of contemplation even as Saint Peter did when hee saw how fine it was to be in the Mount and said Lord let us make three Tabernacles and dwell here to dwell here it were good indeed but that verily may not be there is no dwelling in Heaven whilst wee are in the flesh no looking for a continuall joy sweetnesse and content in this vale of misery and therefore since that thorow the whole scope of this life wee are ordained rather to a religious travaile and labour then to quiet and ease doubtlesse the resting our selves so over-much in this satiety of Ioy doth us more harme then good in that it makes us the more to forget to take the paines to goe to an other Heaven hereafter who are thus as it were in a present Heaven here already the satisfying fruition of Contemplation doth call away our thoughts from the necessary care of Mortification flattering many times the due sense of sinne and giving us as I may say a kind of Liberty and Priviledge to doe amisse For we shall thereby thus think to our selve when we are so often and so much over taken with sinne there is a fatall necessity of sinning in all men and therefore notwithstanding that how many and whatsoever our sinnes be wee make no doubt but it is well enough with us and that wee must needs be sufficiently in the favour of God to whom he doth afford such divine familiarity and such heavenly Comforts the which perswasion of our selves although it may be true in some sense true I meane that these inward gifts of mind are generally a token of Gods favour yet surely thus I say doth the sweetnesse and selfe-conceit thereof make us often times the more slacke not so diligently to seeke to mortifie our corrupt affections not so seriously thinking how this illumination of mind this Tree of Knowledge may bring forth the fruit of good workes how to become humble to become patient to become chaste to become temperate c. Iames and Iohn were busying their minds about who should be on the right hand and who on the left of Christ in his Kingdome but our Saviour cals them neerer home to the matter in hand to thinke rather on suffering with him and that present Condition of difficulty which they must undergoe well knowing that the gazing too much on that easie and sweet part of religion might make them to omit the weightier and more materiall part which is to beare the Crosse and drink of his Cup. Well as experience of spirituall understanding grows on so our phansie will be apt to abide more constant in our meditations upon anything and be more aboundantly fruitfull with variety of considerations specially if other affairs give us Liberty to spend our time freely upon it our Melancholly thoughts perhaps for some moneths together will be mainly employed and taken up sometimes with the notions of this subject sometimes of that fot a while it may be wee shall be altogether to contemplate of Death and Mortality our phansie will hang only on Graves on Sculs on Passing-bels sadly weighing how truly it is said of David that man is a thing of nought his time passeth away like a shadow and that of Iob in his seventh Chapter My dayes are swifter then a Weavers shuttle and are spent without hope O remember that my life is wind mine eye shall no more see good the eye of him that hath seene mee shall see me no more c. ringing ringing out the Knell of death to our soules in this or the like manner O thou devouted soule Amidst the pleasures joyes triumphs And hopes now in this life begun Thinke every morning that ere night Thy Sun may set thy life be done Amidst the cares the dolefull griefs And feares that on this life attend Thinke every morning that ere night Thy Sun may set thy liâ—e may end Another while perchance we shal take pleasure in guilding over our thoughts with the glorious lustre of the world to come the beatificall vision the beauty of the Saints according to that of Daniel They that be wise shall shine as the Firmament and they that turne many to righteousnes as the stars for ever and ever Sometimes our seriousnesse is very much affected with Bels the Melancholy rising and falling of the sound doth methinkes lively imprint into our fancie the Emblem of mans inconstancie and the fading succession of the times and ages of this world she wing that which S. Iohn speaks in the 1. Epistle the second Chapter How the world passeth away and the lustt thereof but hee that doth the will of God abideth for ever the warbling out of tunes in our mind the hearing or modulâ—ting of melodious songs which have been ancient will revive unto our phansie the times and things that are past making us exceeding sad and dumpish at the remembrance of them and ready sometimes to let fall teares because that golden Flower of time that spring-tide of delight is so soon past and gone three is an end with it and alas woe is us it shall never O never returne again Farewell adieu ye pleasant youthfull houres Which did our life so sweetly crowne with flowers Many times againe doth the consideration of Eternity and that endlesse statâ— of the soule after this life drive these or the like Meditatâ—ons intentively to our hearts O Lord how much doth it concerne us with most exact care to take heed how we order our selves whilst wee live here when as according to our living in this world our soules must needs enter into such an endlesse and unalterable a condition the very beholding of which though but a farre off doth make all our sense as it were gidy and amaz'd at the exceeding height depth and extent thereof The sight of a dead mau if peradventure anatomized and cut up before us or else but shrowded lying prostrate or the like doth usually worke so reall an efficacie in our thoughts that it deeply casteth us into a loathing abasement and vile esteeme of our selves it may be for a good while after confidering thus that notwithstanding Man doth carry such estate with him is so sumptuously adorned and so full of magnificent shew in this life yet is hee in substance but a peece of carrion even so contemptible a thing that he would disdain being alive to but touch himselfe if he were dead O man how canst thou be proud that art nothing but
all the dayes of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever So there is also another time when hee saith there is no health in my flesh because of thy displeasure neither is there any rest in my bones by reason of my sinne my wounds stinke and are corrupt through my foolishnesse c. Sinne maketh such deepe wounds in the soule that if wee foolishly neglâ—ct to dresse them often and tent them thoroughly they quickly fester inwardly and prove dangerous and therefore justly eonsidering this dangerousnesse in the state of the soule to be usuall amongst men and specially in David that holy man that more then ordinary man even that man made aftet Gods owne heart as also remembring the solicitous heed and care of that more excellent vessel of holinesse S. Paul over himselfe in the words of his in the ninth to the Corinthians the 27. verse Lest that by any meanes when I bave preached unto others I my selfe should be a Cast-away it makes us alwayes methinkes nor without cause to stand in feare of our spirituall condition not daring in our best comforts so to set our selves at rest as though wee were wholly out of the reach of unhappinesse the often tryall of our patience our wisely considered experience in heavenly things together with the comfort of the Scripture according to Saint Paul in his fifth and fifteenth Chapters to the Romanes May give us a strong and confident hope that wee shall not enter into condemnation but thorough his mercy be saved in the day of the Lord for wee are boldly perswaded that we are in Gods favour and perswaded too I say perswaded that neither life nor death nor Angels nor any other creature shall bee able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ our Lord and yet for all that wee know wee are now but on the sea not in the Haven the sea of danger not the Haven of perfect safety we cannot therefore be high minded in our thoughts but feare feare and carefully take heed lest we fall specially when as we are conscious to our selves of a nature which is so weake so apt and ready to fall into the greatest and most dangerous sinnes O Lord and most mercifull Father there is nothing perfect in this life here wee have some joy and some sorrow some assurance some feare some knowledge some ignorance mingled together for now wee know but not in part saith the Apostle hereafter wee shall know to the full now our soule is only perswaded of her future state she taketh some remote glimpse as it were of her salvation but no full sight thereof for wee are saved by hope saith Saint Paul but hope that is seene is not hope for what a man seeth why doth hee yet hope for hereafter when she hath finisht her course and fulfilled her dayes shee shall fully know and be resolved in the matter as we hope to be thoroughly satisfied with the everlasting enjoyment therfore for the present condition of this our life we may take up that expression of the Poet Ante obitum nemo supremaque funcra faelix None be call'd happy rightly may Before his last and dying day Ye pious and devout soules that are now in the state of grace blesse O blesse the Lord your God and magnifie his name with all humility for what is it that all of us are not damnable wretches and most unhappy miscreants but only his mercy What have wee at all that we have not received O let us then take heed take heed I say lest our hearts bee hardned with stubbornesse and selfe opinion hath not the Potter power over his Clay may not the spirituall Husbandman breake off the Olive branches and graft them in at his pleasure O the depth of the riches both of the wisedome and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are all his judgements and his wayes past finding out for who hath knowne the mind of the Lord or who hath beene his Counsellor And thus have we briefly dispatcht the first and better part of our busines I meane this History of the soule endued with grace Now then our thoughts must leave their Eagle slight And downe a while top â—ddle in the durt Behold and see what policy and might The Devill can shew forth to doe us hurt When God le ts loose this roaring Lyon O what destruction doth hee bring upon us how strongly and cunningly doth he hold fast our soules in sinne how intricately are we intangled by his snares that we cannot get out the heart saith Ieremy is deceitfull above all things and desperately wicked who can know it indeed it is a most hard matter to find out all the strength and subtilty of sinne in a wicked soule for the Devil when he gets possession specially in a more Melancholy heart like a Wont makes his workes few above ground but hath many secret passages and Maeanders under the close contrived cranies whereof although we cannot fully search and tracke out yet God willing wee shall the more open and principall courses in this ensuing Part. Of the Soule ensnared in sinne NEmo repente fuit turpissimus Sinne creeps on by degrees but woe is us to what an exceeding height and to what intolerable an increase is it able to grow grow I say heavier then the sand of the Sea in weight and more in number even sufficient to fill whole volumes for who is able to find out all his iniquities or reckon up his sinnes who knoweth saith David how often he offendeth Sinne in a wicked soule is so unmercifull a thing that it hath no limits nor bounds of extent it is that over-flowing Flood in the Scriptures which drowned the old inhabitants of the earth it is that raging sulphurous fire which burnt up the Cities of the ungodly or if you will that Phaetons fire amongst the Poets which enflamed the whole world for no sooner doe we let at liberty our affections from the yoke of discipline and good order from that narrow path and rule of vertue In cujus medio tutissimus ibis O man in the midst of which thou safely mightst go but presently wee act out the true Morall of Phaetons Fable Phaeton let loose the reines to his frolick Horses and they carry him as the fiction goes to the firing of the world and his owne destruction we doe but let goe the reines to our will and affections and they carry us likewise headlong to our unavoidable destruction and to the setting on fire of this Microcosme this little world of ours here we may well note that Religio a religando vere dicta est Religion is truly so call'd from tying back the affections and therefore now when once conscience doth thus let slip the reines of discipline and its due care of the soule our little world as I say is all on fiâ—e our thoughts desires and affections being as it were without God and his feare
are altogether flaming with the distemper'd heat of worldly cares of ambitious projects of lustfull courses of impatioâ—t distractions and the like these things doe freely range abroad in tâ—e mind doe take their pleasure and pastime therein Like School boyes when their Master 's gone away They presently are at their roguish play Iust so when that the Conscience leaves to rule Our thoughts the Devill forthwith keeps the Schoole And because our inside is thus unframed with disorder that wee neglect Religion and leave off the necessary managing and manuring of the soule by repentance sinne by little and little becomes habituall unto us an ordinary and unregarded thing so that in a while Melancholy making the mind more eager and intentivelâ— let in al its courses what either by being drawn to the impatient expectation of what wee would have by feeding our selves with the pleasing fruition of that we doe enjoy or vexing our selves with the feare of what may befall us or with the griefe of that which doth already disaffect us it is so that for the most part there is very little space wherein our phancie is not in action with some one of these such and such like things doe so seriously take up our time and so earnestly employ our thoughts that our minds can hardly get leave at any time to bee at leisure for the common duties of Christianity for when at our necessary opporâ—unities we goe about to reade the Scriptures to meditate on good matters or pray unto the Almighty how exceeding difficult is it for us to draw off our imagination from those other things and set it upon these or if we doe take it off it is but as in haste with a longing to be at them again As also that little praying meditating or reading which we do at any time now employ our selves in doth altogether methinks passe away without any sweetnesse in 't it hath no more relish to us for the most part then even as it were a rotten stick or a thing of nought so superficially doth it slip away on the outside of our souls In every thing 't is the delightful sweet Thereof that doth with our affection meet I say It is the sweetnesse thereof that joyns it closely to the thoughts and unites it to the affections and therefore these duties and the like being so out of relish with us we have but little minde on them we coldly regard them and in a manner wholly neglect them or if peradventure the fashion of the times tend thereunto and that we can smoothly stop up the mouth of truth-knowing Conscience with some daubing satisfaction we may I say we may some of us retain the outside when we have lost the inside we may seem to be delighted with an oral formality when as it is no whit cordial within us like unto shallow brooks that make a great noise with a little water the shadow still continuing with us whilst the substance is stollen away But to go on in that way which is most usual I say The substantial deepnesse of true inward pleasure and delight in divine things being rooted up pulls away with it the outward use of reading meditating and the like so that we are seldom conversant in these things although the liberty of our time give us opportunity for it never so conveniently for it is to be noted a truely willing minde can finde out shreds enough of time to bestow in that way even in the busiest and most industrious Calling And as for that more excellent gift of the Spirit Prayer that Princely Diadem amongst all heavenly graces from whence all other divine blessings do borrow some lustre and advantage how far is the familiar acquaintance thereof gone from our souls when as all our private devotion is now posted off to the publike and that also so slenderly and coldly performed by us that the practice thereof is held on it may be rather for fashion sake then devotion more with the motion of our lips then with the affection of the heart following the publike exercise rather for fear of shame and reproach I say rather to keep touch and turn with the common Custome then out of any religious care or good will thereunto for though the Sabbath be but once a week yet shall we most times be then glad if occasion bee handsomly offer'd us to ' bide at home and omit that duty It is too wet or else it is too cold And we can pray even as well here as there These poor excuses they are quickly told When as God knows we pray not any where Again as Prayer so the Hearing of the Word is as much neglected by us or as ill used when we now sit at Sermons it is more perchance with a censorious ear like Moderatours to give judgement and passe our opinion rather then as diligent Auditours with humble hearts to receive instruction If the Preacher doth but meanly perform his exercise we are then ready to slight it as a thing belowe us and not worth our heeding but if he go beyond us in his Learning and good parts we are on the other side peradventure disconted in our selves for that he exceedeth the reach of our capacity and qualification for lo we feel and finde as in this so in all other things it is worth observation we finde I say that Nature is always so partial unto it self that it is never thorowly pleased and fully contented except every thing succeed to the setting up of it selfe and its owne advancement and therefore that it hath got the advantage it taketh its full selfe-contenting pleasure and recreation without controle diverting the whole course of our thoughts words and actions to serve its turne herein yet for although conscience hath lost its prevayling command within us neverthelesse it ceaseth not ever and anon to give us a call and perhaps amidst our chiefest and securest sinnes awaken us with a deep touching item and remembrance of our selves but onely flashing up our eyes wee fall asleep againe and thus act on the story Navita de ventis de tauris narrat arator Enumer at miles vulnera pastor oves The Plowman of his oxe The Ship-man tels his mind The Shepherd keeps his sheepe The Souldier wounds in mind Every one saith the Poet thinks and talkes most of that which hee hath most to doe with and doth most affect and here nature principally begins to play her part and shew her affection our selfe accusing and impatient mind cannot abide the rehearfall of miseries unhappinesse and affliction the hideous newes of such things is too rough for our tender thoughts to meddle with whatever come of it hereafter we must by all meanes put off for the present as farre as may be from us that day of the Lord and righteous retribution of his most just vengeance againe also the deadnesse of heart maketh our soule to loath abhorre and leave off to hear and speak of holy and pious subjects
holy place and these holy duties with such prophane impieties within us sure we shall halfe think it better not to come to the holy exercises at all then by going thereto to provoke Gods greater Judgement against us Thus doth Devill alwaies ' ploy his wit If that he can to doe more mischiefe yet But certain in the end we ever find it our best way how crosse and averse soever our mind be to keep our constant course and to hold on as stedfast as may be in our outward endeavours though it seeme to be nevet so much against our inward feeling for we may observe that when we have no feeling in us in reading praying or the like duties of Religion and when we find nothing in our selves but contrarinesse to that which is in hand yet neverthelesse by the then keeping our intention to it as neer as we can and by lifâ—ing up our thoughts toward the sence to conceive and beleeve that which being for the present as we are we cannot conceive and beleeve we shall doubtlesse afterwards the more easily bring our thoughts into a due course and order againe for if we let flag our apprehension wholly to follow our own feeling and suffer our disturbed soul to be its own guide herein we may perchance fal into a strange dis-respect and unregardfull prophanation of the most sacred things that we shall hardly put it freely off again for the future To proceed every thing during the time of our trouble is so altogether out of order within us and our spirits are so daily spent and wearied out with this continuall labour and toyl of mind that we are as David in his 6. Psalm so weary so quite weary of our groanings and tormenting troubles that many times we doe wish to God that our apprehensions and understandings were rather taken cleane from us then thus to be left alone to the mercilesse torture of those distractions and truly were it not for Hell we should gladly rejoyce and count it our chiefest happinesse to dye wishing and often wishing with Iob in his 3 Chapter the 11. and 12. verses that we had never been borne into the world for now as it followes in the next verse we should have â—aine still and been quiet we should have slept then had we been at rest with Kings and Counsellors of the earth And againe as it is in the 20. verse Why is light given to him that is in misery and life unto the bâ—tter in soul Was it a pleasure for thee O Lord to give us being that we might be miserable Are we like the Whales Iob 7. that thou seâ—test a watch over us that thou wilt not spare noâ— passe by our iniquities Wilt thou hunt us as he he speaks againe in his 10. Chapter like a fierce Lion without mercy hast thou provided us as wild beasts are provided to be baited with destruction O no certainly thou delightest not in the death of sinners nor in the sad condition of the wicked it is doubtlesse thy mercy that we are chastned and thou hast compassion on our distresses we shall thinke sometimes in our extreme troubles that it is not possible for us that we can continue in this state above three or foure daies or a weeke more but either we shall die with the very anguish of soul and body which it seems to us that we cannot sustaine or indure any longer or else that we shall be quite sencelesse and distracted out of our minds O how many poore souls are there in the world who being not able to beare their owne misery any longer either destroy and desperately cast away themselves or peradventure grow utterly distracted therein It is thy mercy even thy great mercy O Lord that we are not thus confounded O let us ever pray and pray continually upon our bare and bended knees against this unhappinesse Hoc erit animae me ae vetum usque ad mortem this shall ever be my prayer untill I die both for my self and others Let our lives last no longer Then that we may serve God here Let affliction grow no stronger Then we may with patience beare When we do use to complaine to others of these terrible thoughts and troubles of mind many will reply unto us that they are the Devills not ours and that he meerly suggests and whispers them into our braines But verily me thinks we cannot beleeve but that they are our own truly flowing from our sin-corrupted souls at least wise that they are partly our own for did they come meerly from without from the Divel it could not doubtles so neerly touch us as they do Our Saviour Christ himself was moved from without even to the highest impiety to fall down and worship the Devill But sure our thoughts are neerer to us even from within and truly not without reason may be called ours it may be the Devil hath his hand in them it is no question but God hath his hand in them also laying them as a mercifull judgement upon us And now O Lord it is high time yea the time is come that thou have mercy upon our souls for why I know it grieveth thy very heart O Lord it pittieth thee full sore to see them lie in the dust thus prostrate in their own misery And thus have we broke the heart of our troubles and past over the chief passages of this tragicall story of the Soul troubled in Conscience These troubles may perhaps continue with us two or three years before they begin to weare away and then when by Gods mercy they begin to slacken the mind and conscience by little and little takes some rest and satisfaction and though fits of disturbance do now and then come upon us yet it is more seldom then before After the strength of this storme is past we usually feel our inner man begin to be born againe into a new condition the former hard and stony flesh of our hearts like Nâ—amons flesh being tender and â—enewed even as the flesh of a young child 〈◊〉 lo we can kindly weep now with the humility of children think none evill with the simplicity and single heartednesse of children love dearly and tenderly with the affection of children cry Abba Father with the comfort and confidence of children And here me thinks we cannot but remember even with joy and admiration the truth of that divine wisdome which our Saviour hath spoken in Iohn Except a man be born againe be cannot see the Kingdom of God Except we be borne againe and become like little children we cannot enter into the Kingdom of God for of such as he said in Mark 10. is or doth consist the Kingdom of God Doubtlesse when the soul is thus wonderfully born againe from the depth of sin and misery into comfort and grace although the comfort be but little even very little perchance in some of us yet it is Magna animae regeneratio I say no doubt a great regeneration and
An HISTORICAL ANATOMY Of CHRISTIAN MELANCHOLY Sympathetically set forth In a threefold state of the soul 1 Endued with Grace 2 Ensnared in Sin 3 Troubled in Conscience With a Concluding MEDITATION On the Fourth Verse of the Ninth Chapter of Saint JOHN By EDMUND GREGORY sometimes Bachelour of Arts in Trin. Coll. Oxon. London Printed for Humphrey Moseley and are to be sold at his shop at the signe of the Prince's Arms in Pauls Church-yard 1646. EDMUNDI GREGORII VERA EFFIGIES AETATIS SUAE AN o TRICESIMO PRIMO AN o 1646. Even now I was not and ere long I must From what thou seest againe returne to Dust. Gaze not on this poorâ— earthly shade of mine But read the substance which is more Divine W. Marshall sculpsit The AUTHOR'â— Brief Directions To the READER LEt me obtain loving Reader this favour that you take notice of these few Directions in the perusal of this little Book First that the main Rule of my thoughts in the compiling hereof hath been Experience I say The Experience out of divers particulars diligently according to my poor skill comprised together into one And truely if according to the Philosopher Experientia est optima Magistra Eperience be our best Teacher as also a chief guide in all our Divinity doubtlesse it is worth the labour seriously to mark it Yet since that what I have written is not the Experience of all men but of some for who is able to finde out all the secresie of but one heart much more of all hearts let it not I pray by any means offend you if you chance to meet with that thing which concurs not with the Experience and Motion of your own soul for I intend nothing herein as a positive Doctrine or an absolute Rule if any thing be generally true in all or most men be it so if not in those things which are strange to your soul let your Discretion be your better Direction for you must consider that like an Anatomist I have cut up as well the Brest as the Head and as well the Belly as the Brest I have equally let out the foul and deformed parts that are in Man or Mankinde as well as the fairer and better parts Here is perchance somewhat of all sorts of men and again something perchance which disagrees with most men Secondly for my expressions I have endeavoured to declare every particular herein in the fittest and most naturally-agreeing terms as neer as I could according to the lively sense of the Truth conceiving a congruity of speech to be the best eloquence shattering in also now and then an expression in Verse to the end the serious intention of your minde may the more pleasantly run on in reading for though my poor and humble Verses adde perhaps but little ornament to the matter yet since they do not at all interrupt the sense nor your thoughts with any long Parenthesis my hope is they may be delightful in their variety though they be not in their elegancy And whereas again I have cast my words into a sympathetical and fellow-feeling Mould the cause is Partly for that mine own experience gives me good reason for it and partly again for that I conceive Nihil humanani à me alienum No humane thing that belongs to Mankinde to be so strange unto me but that I may fitly sympathize and sensibly concur with it Saint Paul was all things unto all men to the Jews a Jew to the Gentiles a Gentile to the sinners a sinner that he might work the more effect and comfort in all Thirdly I shal earnestly desire if your time and ability may conveniently serve that you will adde your own Experimental Observations hereunto to the encreasing of this poor Book if God shall so give his blessing into a larger Volume for I could heartily wish that learned men would studie Themselves as well as their Books would more set forward in communicating their Experience I say the real Experience of their Hearts rather then the Imaginary notions of their Brains to the publike use for comfort and encrease of Knowledge unto others Lastly whereas I have laboured very much for Brevity knitting up all things short and close together to the end I might not be tedious unto you so that it may be dum brevis esse labore obscurus fio whilest that I strive to be brief I become obscure and the more dark to the apprehension of him that readeth My humble Request therefore is that you would bestowe if not a repetition at leastwise the more heed and deliberation in reading and as Elisha did in reviving the Widows Childe so let me beseech you to take this little Book up into your Chamber or Private Room to spread it before you and to stretch your self upon it to apply the inner shape and proportion of your hearts unto it and so by your Prayers unto God to desire that you may finde a soul and life in the reading of it that it may so animate in you that it be not as a dead and altogether-unprofitable thing which I also shall ever pray for to the utmost of my power And thus for the present I take my leave remaining Yours E. G. The Author's POEM to Himself on James 3. 17. IF thou my soul wouldst true Religion see Lo here in brief thou may'st resolved be The Wisdom that descendeth from above Is pure as saith S. Iames and full of Love Mercy and Peace it doth extend to all Without deceit and nothing partial The Head If sin be Folly Madnesse want of Wit The Righteous then are wisâ— and most discreet Wisedom If Christ our Wisedom came down from on hie All earthly knowledge is but vanitie The Eyes This Wisedom's pure and filleth us with light To trust in him who passeth humane sight Faith This Wisedom's pure and puâ—ifi'th the minde From those dark works which make the Conscience blinde The Hands It seekâ—eâ— Peace it hateth to contend It 's gentle milde and loving to its friend Charity With it Forgivenesse easily is found In it Compassion doth to all abound The Feet And all this Good it freely doth impart Without a paâ—tial pâ—oud oâ— grudging heart Good meaning Nor doâ—h Hypoâ—â—isie these Vertues kill With by respâ—cts or a Sinister will Here is Religion's Head its Eyes its Hands Here are those Feet on which it firmly stands 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 ☞ E Coelo descendit 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Know thy Self Ex tui Scientiâ fit Conscientia JER 17. 9. The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked who can know it 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 O thou that knowest the hearts of all men Create in me a clean heart O God and renew a right spirit within me And I saw the dead both great and small stand before God and the Books were opened and another Book was opened which is the Book of Life and the dead were judged of those things which were written in the Books
Service of God leads us into that glorious liberty which as I conceive Saint Paul speaks of of the sons of God First I mean that liberty whereby we feel our Consciences set free from the doting scrupulosity of things unnecessary and indifferent the which perchance at some other times we may be apt to stick upon with perplexity Secondly I mean that liberty we may call it The liberty of Obedience which as it makes us willingly and freely to obey our betters cause 't is for Gods glory who hath appointed the same and ' cause 't is for his glory to do him service in it so again it makes us so free in Spirit as not to stoop to any ignoble or disgraceful servility that is with a base and cowardly heart to yeeld our approbation in any unjust indirect course because our Superiours either like or command it to call good evil or evil good for any cause whatsoever No we have a warrant for it methinks in our souls not to deny the Truth for the fear or love of the greatest or dearest one in the world for if we deny the Truth we deny him that is greater and dearer unto us then any can be besides even God himself for God is Truth saith Saint John And surely he that is in subjection to father or mother as our Saviour saith or even unto any other Creature more then unto God is not worthy of him Many times this free spirit is apt to degenerate into a firy spirit so that in stead of a moderate use of the liberty of truth towards Superiours shall we be ready to fall into a rash and disobedient humour against them Joab's dealing with King David 1 Chron. 21. 3 is a singular example to be followed in this kinde that is to be so freely faithful unto our Betters as not to flatter or back them on in that which is evil and yet not using our Liberty as a cloke of Maliciousnesse so lovingly respectful as not to contradict their power with an undiscreet and churlish impatiency Moreover this our foresaid unity and reconciliation with God crowneth our souls with many happie and rare advantages but specially in this that it maketh our spirits chearful merry and full of rejoycing a good Conscience is as a continual feast wherein we are satisfied with all good things as with marrow and fatnesse and therefore most fitly hath our Saviour named the holy Ghost a Comforter And be shall give you another Comforter Joh. 14. 16. A Comforter and truely so for how can sadnesse take fast hold in that brest where this heavenly joy and comfort doth abide Thus for a season do we flourish in the state of reconciliation flourish like an herb nourished with the dew of heaven or like the tree in Davids Psalms planted by the waters side the flowing river of Gods mercies And now And now perchance that we have spent some days Or else some weeks in these more sacred ways we must begin to take an unwilling farewel of this our happinesse for by this time that heart and courage against sin which we have got by Repentance doth flag grow lesse and lesse and decay till we are defiled therewith as before the drowzie eye by little and little falls asleep it knows not how and were it not for the awaking again 't would scarce perceive whether it had slept or no so even so insensibly doth sin creep on and so subtilly get within us that we can never almost feel it till the sting thereof hath awaken our consciences unto Repentance And then again perceiving the wickednesse of our hearts and the foul enormity of sin shall we in the bitternesse of our souls and detestation of our iniquities humble our selves even belowe the dust of the earth accounting us not worthy to be the vilest creatures under the cope of heaven that have been so wickedly perfidious against our Creator and therefore do we consider and earnestly resolve for the present if it will please him once more even this once more to forgive us this our sin surely methinks all the devils in hell should not prevail to overtake us so again for this doth always touch us neerest and trouble us most that we are so faithlesse unto God and so full of hypocrisie before him that whereas at our last Repentance we had so syncerely so heartily and so seriously promised amendment of life and also with our whole might and main to obey God and please him neverthelesse though our promise doth seem to be never so hearty and with so full a purpose yet the end and event doth shew that there is hypocrisie in it even great hypocrisie for when temptation comes and sin is at hand then do we falsheartedly and cowardly not onely not duly strive against and resist it but even basely yeeld unto it So infirm is our best ability that our Saviour hath wisely taught us to pray to God that he would not try our strength with temptation O lead us not into â—emptation But our weaknesse or rather wickednesse is yet greater not onely in so easily suffering temptation to prevail over us but also in our readinesse to joyn with it and help it forwards hugging the very first motions thereof in our brests so that we may say of our souls as David did of the wicked man Psal 50. 18 Thou no sooner sawest that thief sin but thou consentedst with him and bast been partaker c. Nay many times we do go one degree farther besides this hugging and hastie embracing of the evil motions of sin proposed unto us I say One degree farther even by seeking after temptation and inviting of outward means to beget sin within us just as those of whom Isaiah speaks that draw iniquity with cords of vanity and sin as it were with a cart-rope Well notwithstanding Though sin doth thus even dye our souls in grain Thy mercies Lord can purge out all the stain Before thee we are ' sham'd to shew our face But all our hope is in thy saving grace notwithstanding I say the unhappie discouragements of sin we shall embolden our selves to offer up in this manner our resolution unto the Lord. O merciful Father if it would please thee to passe by our iniquities and to forgive us this time sure now in good earnest we will perform our words we will certainly keep our promise and set our selves more syncerely to it then before hitherto we have promised well but now will we do well knowing verily that it is not the sudden passion of a good desire that is sufficient but the constant habit of better Obedience it is not enough to have the shew of godlinesse in our Mouthes and bare Intentions if we deny the true power and effect thereof in our Lives and Conversations We will now therefore act out our intendment in the practice of Religion whatsoever hath been past we will now certainly be altogether in good earnest there shall nothing hinder us Thus
even thus so eager so intentive and so earnest shall we be somtimes that we desire forgivenesse from God on no other terms but as he doth finde our amendment afterwards we will even be dealt withal according to our good behaviour and not onely so but we shall be ready to imprecate a revenge of our breach of promise with some due punishment upon our heads and to expect from God no otherwise to be merciful unto us then as that we do approve our faithfulnesse unto him And yet for all this this utmost resolution that may be are we at no time as good as our word I say At no time can we thorowly withstand sin it always overmatcheth us 't is too strong for us to deal with sin speciaâ—ly of all the rest the sin of our nature our darling and sweet a reeing sin this therefore exceeding unfaithfulnesse of ours in that we do so vehemently promise that which we do never accordingly perform doth at length methinks at every time of our Repentance bring us so much the further out of credit with God so that we can hardly see how he should believe or forgive us any more who have thus often dealt so falsly with him Neverthelesse sin doth presse us so sore that we may not sit still in quiet till we get ease by Repentance The Conscience like a stomack that 's displeas'd With meats doth vomit till she can be eas'd In this case we shall be very loth perchance and altogether asham'd to come again into the presence of God as Adam was in Gen. 3. 10 yet necessity doth prick us forward because O Lord whither shall we go from thy presence to have any comfort in this our misery to thee therefore must we needs come O thou Preserver of men Necessity I sav sets us forward and at length so often experience bringeth us to consider with our selves and thus to close our judgement more neer to the matter that since there must needs be somthing else in it besides the secret hypocrisie of our own hearts why so many promises should vanish in the air so many promises which for thâ— present we cannot perceive but that they do come most heartily and syncerely from us Sure we shall think to our selves there is some other difficulty in it sure there is somwhat else hinders that we cannot be as good as our words and thus considering after a while we begin to feel out the knot that indeed it is no marvel why we could not perform that which we did promise when-as we did promise that which we could not perform that which of our selves we are no ways able to bring to passe Now therefore it is easie to see the folly of our too-violent and vehement earnestnesse in saying we will do this and we will do that the which is not in our power to effect and therefore more duely weighing within our selves that 't is God alone who worketh both the will and the deed as Saint Paul speaks we learn thereby more moderately and soberly to say O draw us and wâ— will run after thee Lord we would be better we desire to avoid sin but help thou our desire We may also in Saint Pauls words truely say that we labour labour in our mindes to be rid of sin and to attain some better condition of life and yet it is not we but the grace of God which is with us it is our labour and it is not ours somthing there is no question in us to set forwards in the businesse and yet this something without God we do sufficiently finde to be even as nothing we may as indeed we must be doing and so we our endeavours but let us know and be assured that there can be no harvest except God prosper it for it shall be like the Corn growing upon the house top wherewith the Mower filleth not his hand neither he that bindeth up the sheaves his bosom Many times do we observe in the passage of our life that when we most strive and are most eagerly set to resist sin we shall usually never a jot the lesse but rather the more be foil'd with sin First the cause thereof as I judge is our impaciency for we may feel in our selves if we mark it that herein we are not so patiently contented as we should be to tarry the Lords leasure but would make too much haste to be freed before it is Gods will we should Saint Paul himself would fain be delivered but it was answered him My grace is sufficient for thee Again another cause may be for that perchance we do attribute too much to our own strength for the deliverance and therefore God will let us see how weak we are of our selves to do any thing as of our selves Behold Our sinnes take being with us in the wombe they live with us from Cradle to the Tomb so weake are wee frayle to encounter with sinne the common Enemy of Man-kind specially this bosome Enemy our naturall sinne and corruption that it is well if through continuance ef many yeers together we can make these Ague fits to breake their course It is to be noted that every one hath his double Genius his good and evill Angell to attend upon him the good Angell I meane his naturall inclination to some vertue more then ordinary the evill Angell his naturall inclination to some vice above the rest if wee doe keepe out this evill Angell this Devill of ours this Satan and Deceiver at armes end that is not suffer the temptation to enter in too neerly unto us we may perchance now and then escape the foyle But when once he gets within us sure wee are then to bee overcome there is no grapling with it in our owne breasts And oh how often and often are wee thus shamefully foyled and overcome sometimes do wee thinke to our selves Lord shall we never be free from this pollution of sinne Wee doe hope this shall be the last time now wee hope wee shall doe so no more but yet still there is no Last there is no end with it the comfort that wee have is this that as wee doe often sinne so it is no long while that wee continue in it without repentance and so then as David saith Though heavinesse may endure for a night the night of sinne yet Ioy commeth againe in the morning the morning of repentance Ioy and that a double Ioy Ioy by Reconciliation with God and Regeneration unto Righteouâ—nesse and Ioy by spirituall comfort in divine Meditations for the pleasing exercise of these Meditations like a sweet Companion in our heavenly Iourney is seldome long absent from our soules being full of amiable delight and recreation refreshing the heart with pleasure and sugaring the affections so that many times the familiar conversation which wee have with Heaven and that Angelicall illumination of mind which is within us doth make our ravisht soules notwithstanding all other difficulties say unto themselves as Iacoh
a bag of dung a sinke of filth and corruption me thinks the very meanest creatures are more happy then we for loe O Lord they continue perfect in that state thou hast created them they live not in sinne against their Maker they die in innocencie but man alas unhappy man liveth in sinne dieth in trouble O finne thou art the worst of all evils thou art worst then death worse then Hell sure better were it to have no being at all then that our being should be offensive to that God which hath bestowed it on us In the time of plague and infectious sicknesse in likâ— manner doe our Meditations more consideratively enlarge themselves how are our thoughts then not a little swollen up with sadnesse and griefe at the tender apprehension of the solitary and forsaken estate of those poore soules who are imprisoned and shut up in the infected houses thinking thus with our selves O Lord how happy are wee on whom the Sun shines thus merrily the Sunne of Gods favour wee have health wee have Liberty wee have Plenty of all things at our hearts desire but they poore wretches are inclosed within the shadow of death their feet like good Iosepâ—s are in the stocks and the Iron thereof entreth into their soules the hardnesse of misery maketh their very hearts to bleed for as Iob saith Tbe arrowes of the Almighty are within them and the poyson thereof drinketh up their spirits O how can wee forget to have compassion on such misery as this The seâ—ious deepnesse of our mind doth also thus frequently close up in our Meditations the departing day and Lord thou hast added one day more unto this our life which thou mightst long ere this have shortned and cut off Lord prepare us for our end and make us willinger to die then yet wee are that when as wee shall have brought all our dayes to a period as we have now this day wee may be ready and well content to depart out of this world to thine eternall mercy and that wee be patiently resolved that this face these hands and this whole body of ours after a while it may put on corruption be clothed with blacknesse and deformity and so with the fatall necessity of all Mankind naturally to be composed into Mortality and be gathered to our Fathers to rest with them in the dust untill thine appointed time Vntill that shrill awaking Trumpet sound At the last day to raise us from the ground The Melancholly Man is a man full of thoughts his phansie is as it were alwayes in a constant Motion no sooner doe wee discharge our braines of these diviner thoughts and meditations specially our mind being at leisure from worldly things but forth with it is in action either with some idle or ill employment either wee are building of Castles in the ayre or framing of Vtopiaes and the Idea's of one thing and of another of Monarchies of Paradises and such like pleasing dreams of phansie or else wee are on the otherside snarling our thoughts with the toyls of sinne Each sense of ours to the heart Proves Traytor to let in Temptation with his fatall dart The Harbinger of sinne How often thus doe the allurmeents of pleasure involve our minds in a restlesse unquietnesse untill wee give satisfaction thereunto how often doth the provocations of lust follow our thoughts till wee commit Adultery with the Baby of our owne fancie how often again doth impatiency haunt us till wee are engaged in wrath and distemper how often doth the love of Riches torment us into the consent of injustice This is the difference wee may find in our soules betwixt good and evill when wee are affected with good things wee are ready as I say to poure out our braines into an abundance of Consideration thereupon but when as wee goe to make use thereof in the practise of our lives such difficulties and impossibilities doe stand in the way that it is even against our stomack then to tâ—inke upon it when contrariwise wee are affected with evill things it may be wee are not ready to spend so many thoughts upon them but wee may easily observe our pronenesse to imprint them in our actions For good wee are as the fruitlesse Fig-tree all whose sap is but enough to bear leaves none for fruit so that in manner all our goodnesse goes out into thoughts meditations and desires little or none at all into practise and performance but for evill wee are more fruit then leaves the practick part of our soules doth here out-goe the speculative Facilis descensus av Aâ—rni Nature hath made it easie for us to goe downwards in the paths of death and destruction and yet notwithstanding by Gods mercy sin doth not over-come us to fulfill it in the lusts and full swing thereof we are not at ease and rest with it it doth discontent and trouble us there is no perfect quietnesse in our soules whilst it prevailes within us although sometimes for want of carefull diligence it taketh such advantage of us that t is long and difficult ere wee can wind our selves out of the snare therof I say long and difficult ere we can throughly untie those knots of perversenesse and impiety which Sathan when hee gets time and liberty doth cunningly contrive within us Here we may note the wisely-confirm'd maturity of years and better acquaintance wiâ—h the nature of things as it doth helpe forward our continuance in grace in that it becomes longer being made cleane by repentance ere we shall now fall backe into sinne I meane into more grosse and frequent sinnes so likewise it advantageth our continuance in sinne in that it becomes the longer also being in the state of wrath ere wee can be duly reconciled againe by true repentance and the reason hereof without question is chiefly to bee conceived for that ripenesse of age makes nature more solid stiffe and unmoveably set in its course being the right subject of constant seriousnesse and Melancholy as on the other-side youth is vainely wavering and according to the Poet Cereuâ— in vitium slecti c. Like wax that 's quickly wrought to any shape And pliable to any alteration Againe touching the settlednesse of our courses in this spiâ—ituall condition of the soule it is alwayes to be observed that the more unhappily finne doth prevaile over us and the longer it doth continue with us the more we are disheartned and loth to repent by reason that difficulty and bad successe doth daunt the courage and deter from that which easinesse and happy proceeding doe make to delight in thus likewise in other things it is usually seene that hee who thrives delights to be a good Husband prosperity backs on the endeavour and sweetnes a mans labour In like manner also when we have good successe in Religion it makes us the more religious the be ter wee thrive in it the more wee are in love with it that which wee have already quickens the appetite and
the prime and golden age for Religion thou art that lovely one whom the Lord delighteth in even fairer then the tents of Kedar or the Curtains of Salomon To goe on heretofore the terrour thereof I meane of grosser sinnes would stattle us like a Bug beare and make our soules quickly tender and sore with the sence of griefe but at lengthin continued use what through the subtilty of Sathan and our accustomed familiarity with sinne we are for the most part nothing at all so deeply affected with it we have been now so long habituated thereunto that wee can easily sit downe and sleepe in it I say sleep and perchance fall into a dead sleepe to unlesse wee take great heed of the danger Vnlesse with good and well advised care In its due time wee can thereof beware For wee shall find that unlesse we doe forthwith in short time after the sinne that grosse and conscience-daring sinne that we commit take advantage of the sadnesse which it leaves in our soules to convert it into repentant griefe and that it worke a setled and serious dejection in us it is seldome that we shall so soone or so conveniently meet againe with the like helpefull means to lift our selves out of this pit of destruction When as the cloud of sinne settles for a while upon our souls and that wee walke as it were blind fold in the darkenesse thereof it is observeable that yet notwithstanding wee may peradventure in that meane space now and then by the by a little drowsily shug up our selves with a lazie kind of ill will against our sinfull wretchednesse and with a dreaming detestation and abhorring of our unrighteousnesse but all that doth us little good in the end if our repentance be not thoroughly and lively performed if wee doe not even with violence breake off the bonds of iniquity and cast away her cords from us it never doth discharge our consciences or ease us perfectly of the guilt of sinne The Occasionall meanes which are wont to bring us to a truly deepe and serious repentance are divers many times that sense of sadnesse which as I say sinne greater sinnes leaves behind in the soule immediately after the committing is a speciall and effectuall helpe to worke our delivery from the danger thereof Sometimes also this thing or accident puts it in us sometimes that as the trerible fiercenesse of Thundeâ— Lightning Tempests and the like fearefull dangers will perchance strike this serious consideration to our hearts Lord what a case are we in if we should be presently snatcht away with this sudden judgement being now in our sinnes and therefore if it will please God to spare us this time sure wee will thoroughly repent and stand in no such hazard hence forward Sometimes the apprehension of Mortality and the shortnesse of our life will bring us to thinke with our selves that oh how shall we put off our reconciliation with God any longer for wee see that we be all as at the point of death every day one or other is departing from us to his everlasting Mansion we know with the Apostle that the end of all things is at hand that there is no abiding for us here and therefore what manner of men ought we to be how diligent and carefull to make our peace with God and prevent the worst whilst wee are sure of time Sometimes againe the afflictions of this world and the consideration of the vaine pursuit of all earthly things with the which men doe so generally rejoyce and triumph as when we see the rich man swelling in his credit the swaggering Gallant shining in his clothes the honourable man deifying himselfe in his state When that wee see men foolishly bestow Their whole affections on these things below This I say doth call home our thoughts to make up our accounts and hope for Heaven for that we see there is nothing but toylesome and deceitfull vanity upon earth Sometimes also our preparation for the Lords Supper when wee undertake the punctuall and due examining of our selves for that holy duty doth cause us so to dig out our consciences into a bleeding sorrow that wee can rightly performe thar cheerfull resolution of the mind which is requisite to an hearty renewning repentance amendment of life O Repentance Repentance under Christ Iesus thou only Saviour of Mankind who can value thy worth thou art to the soul of man above all the gold and precious stones in the world as rich as Heaven it selfe how many noble and great men have desired to see thy face and could not see it and yet behold thou dost use to dwell in the lowest dust even with the humble broken and contrite heart And againe thou soule that enjoyest this most rich and happy treasure O for Gods sake I say for Gods sake sleight it not but hugge it joyfully embrace it and keepe it close unto thee it is the richest Iewell that can comâ— from Heaven It is that Crowne that Saints hereafter weare When they in perfect glory shall appeare The opinion it is perhaps of some men that for those sins which we have heretofore truly repented us of we need not at any time account our selvs guilty afterwards because the score is discharged and as it were struck off in the sight of God a judgement doubtlesse not without its reason and yet me thinks not altogether consentaneous to experience for though in repentance it may be we doe not usually charge our thoughts with so particular and fresh a remembrance of our ancient sinnes as of these which we have committed since our last humiliation yet shall we ever hold our selves to stand guilty and in danger of all our sinnes even those very sinnes which we had particularly repented of before because we doe take our selves to be in such termes with God that though hedoth fully pardon us yet is it alwayes on condition that wec should performe that Covenant which wee make with him of better obedience and then the breach of this Coveant upon condition of the performance whereof as we conceive we are forgiven doth render us lyable again to Gods justice for all our sinnes I say the Covenant which we make with him of better obedience For it is sure and certaine that we doe never truly repent but that we doe make or renew this Covenant with God to obey him better afterwards Without question a Christans liâ—e is nothing but a continuall rising and falling a falling by sinne a rising by repentance Our life 's a race wherein the surest feet In running long with many fals doe meet And though some men carry themselves in such a steady constant course that they never fall much yet many men fall more shrewdly at sometimes of their age then at some and most men without question at one time or other fall dangerously and without Gods speciall grace irrecoverably As there is a time when David rejoyceth saying surely goodnesse and mercy shall follow mee
as the dispraise of vice the commendation of vertue the maner and means of Mortification of Sanctification of our Redemption and the like snuffling away all such matters if it be possible into other discourse because we feele our hearts so dead and rotten inward that these things doe nothing else but secretly speake the Condemnation and shame of our owne lives and therefore when as out of the abundance of the heart as saith our Saviour the mouth speaketh therefore I say on the other side our thoughts being alwaye for the most part vainly and outwardly disposed our delight is to be talking of vanity all the day long to be asking after and telling of newes whereby to claw our idle phansie with or it may be questioning how rich others be what condition they are in how they doe thrive and the like our Melancholy thoughts mainly labouring with emulation against others and such verily is alwayes the rivality and inward striving betwixt equals or those that be neer equals in the same kind that sure I cannot thinke that it is a quality much lesse then naturall unto all mankind so to contend in affectation of desire this emulation was there amongst the Patriarks when they sold Ioseph and amongst the Apostles when they vie'd who should be the greatest and thus our minds being so wholly set on earthly things and things of this world it is seldome that we can thinke upon those men that are in a little better prosperity then our selves but with the eye of envious emulation counting it as so much the worse for us and an eye-sore to our state and reputation that they goe beyond us and againe taking it as it were somewhat the better for us and applauding our selves in content therewith if they fall out and appeare to be somewhat under the condition that we our selves are in thus as wee doe enviously thinke that too much which our successefull neighbours have and enjoy and swell after their happinesse with indignation at our owne so also are we many times unhappy in our own happinesse without any comparison at all or in respect of others but meerly in our selves and in regard of our owne bottomlesse desires thinking all too little that we have although we do not think of any that have more just as the Poet in a similitude of covetous men Quo plus sunt potae plus sitiuntur aquae The more they drink the more they are athirst so may we truely say of our selves in the words of the Prophet Habakkuk Chap. 3 We enlarge our desire as hell and as death which cannot be satisfied What we have already methinks serves but as the sawce to set an edge to the stomack to receive more as if we had a consuming Wolf in our brest or those two daughters of the Horsleech which Solomon speaks of in Prov. 30 which have no other language but continual crying out Give give more still and yet more and yet no content He is not rich whose minde doth keep him poor He onely hath enough that seeks no more Nay farther our apprehension is apt to be so subtilly deluded with this vice that as if avarice were a vertue we shall be ready to think and say of any one that is an hard and unreasonably-neer man in his dealings and commerce with others and that will stand out for the utmost farthing in every thing though it be never so justly due and to be yeelded unto of such a one I say who hath cunningly learnt to oppresse the poor man by the advantage of his necessity we shall be ready thus to think and say I warrant he is wise enough he will look to himself he will not be fool'd of his goods taking his example as a lawful patern for us to imitate But of one that is a conscionable honest and plain-dealing man that will not stand so eagerly nor practise such policie for gain we are likely to judge him as an easie fool and not wise enough to live in the world But O alas one day one day peradventure we shall see that the wisedom of this world is foolishnesse with God acknowledging our mistake herein as they did who once said in the sorrowful conviction of their souls We fools counted this mans life this quiet honest mans life madnesse and his end to be without honour but see how is he numbred amongst the children of God and his lot is amongst the Saints therefore have we erred When the soul having forsaken God begins to go alone and to trust to its own strength so full do we presently grow with superfluity of outward Sense and humane Wisedom that be we never so lightly toucht with any thing which seems to waste and decay our temporal subsistence if once our Egyptian staff this confidence on outward things never so little begin to crack how are we ready to fall inâ—o utter despair Sure we cannot continue with such a charge we cannot hold out long in such losses or expences our narrow hearts Nabal-like grunting and grumbling for fear that we shall not have enough for our selves to live by O thou unhappie soul of man in all distresses doubts and calamities What patience or comfort canst thou have Who trustest in such things that cannot save Now and then like prisoners within the Grate we may look out into the fresh air and see the golden happinesse of the day though we cannot get out and enjoy it we shall peradventure now sometimes think upon Repentance and gaze afar off on the joyful condition of the soul desiring that we could be delivered from this bondage of sin nay and it may be we do also strive somewhat and endeavour our thoughts thereunto but alas it takes no firm holdfast in our brests it goes not thorow the heart nor seriously to the quick as it should but suddenly it passeth away again without effect or if it doth take any hold in us it is very momentany of short continuance obscured quickly with the clouds of sinne and altogether forgotten for let us know that Conscience even in the freest and fullest pursuite of sin is many times so reall and urgent with us that it will not be sleighted but either by excusing our selves by mitigating the nature of sinne by a seeming repentance or the like we must needs give it some content though it be but as a meere dulusion for the time and to no purpose at all but I prosecute the patterne of our intention in like manner as Melancholy joyned with solitary privacy is wont to make good Meditations in the time of grace take the deeper root in nature so likewise it being united with a retired solitarinesse maketh evill thoughts in the time of sinne much more stubbornely to persist within us cleaving a great deale the faster to our apprehension and fixing a farre sore impression in our soules Sad Melancholy is truly then in kind When silence locks the closet of the mind Then doth mischiefe take greatest
advantage when it gets the soule to be alone by her selfe for Homo solus aut deus aut daemon the solitary and alone man is usually either exceeding good in his thoughts or exceeding bad and therefore now wee find out of due experience now I say when as grace is not able to master our corruption that it is much better for us to use a sociable and jocund behaviour towards others addressing our selves in a complying Familia ity with good honest company in civill recreation then to be much retired alone though it may seem more strict because this verily is many times a meanes to put us from farre worse things and greater inconveniences natures that are composed to Melancholy wee may fitly conceive to be much like Iron which receives a greater heat of fire into it and retains it longer then those things which are of a rare and thin substance for we always feel these solitary these sad and melancholy sins of ours to be of a far deeper dye and to wound our Consciences more dangerously then those other lighter kinde of sins those merry as I may so call them and superficial sins these sad ones I say are worse because they are moulded with deliberation in the heart and come from a setled good-will and determinate intention but those other those merry ones are onely for the most part as sudden flashes arising more inconsiderately and passing away as a guest of one night Well to proceed in Anatomizing the particulars of this our now sin-sick soul The wicked saith Solomon fleeth when none pursueth him An evil Conscience having moved the foundation of our Spiritual comfort every bush is a thief with us every thing becomes our enemy though not really yet in conceit How often and how apt are we now presently to terrifie disquiet and affright our selves at nothing perchance but at the very shadow of things for but thus if we fall out with any neighbour or others into enmity and discontent if but once we drink into our brests a perfect distaste there 's no digesting no forgetting nothing but vexing in our souls so many eager fearing and fretful thoughts do constantly boyl up in our stomacks against him that from thence for a good while together whole clouds of fears of doubts and distempers do sollicitously overwhelm and passe over our heads so that specially if we speak not with the party in a pretty space after our close-kept thoughts are peradventure full of expecting his supposed malice is ready to do us the greatest mischief that may be and so again are we thereupon hatching and preparing perchance like motions of revenge against him conceiving some cruel tyrany wherwith to satisfie our selves upon him little considering that all this while for the most part we do but fight with our own fancie fearing where no fear is and conceiving revenge where there is no cause of revenge for at length having spoken with our adversary and unfolded our selves together we shall most times finde that he hath scarce had any the least ill imagination against us and so by a true hearted disclosing our minde one to the other we are perhaps easily undeceived and become friends again whereas the muing up our selves from our enemy in a melancholy strangenesse and squint-ey'd retire might breed a continual and a deep Conscience-wounding grudge betwixt us The sullen man that 's discontent bis life ne'er wanteth wo If nothing else will him torment his fancie proves his fo Moreover the peevishnesse of our Nature in like manner for want of the confirming strength of Grace is always apt to construe the words and actions of our enemy to the worst taking every thing to be done by him either in despight or malicious disgrace and contempt of us eagerly affecting and troubling our selves with that conceited fury of our enemy which perchance is not in him or if it be it is that thing which we ought rather to pity then fight with even common Christianity teaching us to have more wit and godly advisednesse then as Solomon saith to meddle with a fool in his folly or with a mad-man in his madnesse with an unmanly weaknesse oâ— minde childishly in the same sense to reply again to that his madnesse and fury but in stead thereof rather mildly and charitably to entertain his foolish humour knowing our selves also subject unto all infirmities But we cannot refrain this is our humour we must needs deal back again the words and deeds that we do receive Alas how sweet is the desire of Retaliation and Revenge to the solitary nature being without the directing power of Godlinesse how can we put up such and such things how can we chuse but retort again Oh that we were so rich so powerful as thus and thus what an happinesse were it then for us to be able to crush our enemies and to cut them off as we would desire Invidiâ Siculi non invenere Tyranni Tormentum majus ---------------- Envy 's a greater torture to the minde Then the Sicilian Tyrants ere did finde This is Envie to our souls the very devil of all sins that hellish tormentor of a melancholy minde which wearies our thoughts with continual anguish and vexation of spirit O Lord when we well consider the whole scope of a sinful man or this man of sin which is within us we cannot chuse but think how true it is which the Prophet Isaiah speaks by thy special command Isai 48. 22. that there is no peace unto the wicked no peace I say not onely in regard of the sting of conscience which follows sin but also in regard of the ensnaring and toilsome trouble of sin it self Wo is us truely no peace indeed with one thing or other we are still out of quiet either sin by nâ—useating distempers doth disturb the health of the body or by laborious and far engaged passions doth unsettle the rest of the minde What peace at all is there long within us either immoderate fear or care or grief or desire is ever oppressing our thoughts And here observe it whilst that we walk with God we are methinks fenc'd about with his favour so that none can hurt us for his Angels do pitch their tents for a guard round about them that serve him But now for want of faith what do we not fear how far without reason doth this passion extend in our melancholy soul even almost into an infinite conceit for as a Circle made in the water begets another Circle bigger then it self and so that another again bigger then it self encreasing thus I know not how far just so the doubts and fears of our minde by solitary plodding upon them will beget bigger and bigger and so bigger still without end thus where there is no faith there is no end of fear fear and unbelief have the like proportion in us and must needs go hand in hand together as it is Revel 21 the fearful and unbelieving and abominable c. Again
sent from God justly for our sins yet many times through the rigotous application thereof it proves to our evil natures not onely unprofitable but hurtful for we finde that when a wicked passion on whatsoever occasion is stirred up in the height of its fury 't is hard to be bridled and dangerous to be dealt withal Cain's countenance fell with furious indignation Gen. 4. 5 and lo the sad effect it is but the eighth Verse that he slew his brother Abel It is here worth the marking that sometimes and in some of us the smooth facility of minde can perhaps jest out or pleasantly put off those self-same sins and disgraces which the rough seriousnesse of others doth take with a great deal of indignation discontent and shame the reason thereof partly without doubt is the different disposition of nature and partly also the experienced policy of sin for sin when it is used and practised in the soul like an old Fox grows more cunning and politick to conceal it self it can make its guiltinesse seem to be innocence its covetousnesse seem to be liberality its pride humility c. Herod-like becoming seemingly vertuous when it is never a whit the lesse but rather the more truely vitious But further with the real discovery of our selves Moreover as the dogged morosity of our minde is frequently apparent in our behaviour towards our friends in our dealing with strangers and other like instances that may be quickly remembred so also is our grudging unthankfulnesse not a little before God and in reference to his Majestie So that when losses or crosses do befal us our words are usually these or such like This is hard fortune there is no body so unhappie as we we I warrant have the worst lot and portioâ— of all men foolishly not at all heeding the frequent miseries of others daily before our eyes that rod of Gods correction which is imparted to our neighbours peradventure at the same present and doth it may be in many degrees go beyond ours if not at the leastwise we may remember how far the afflictions of poor Job do outgo our greatest sufferings and yet he sits embracing the dunghil with these words in his mouth The Lord hath given and the Lord hath taken away blessed be the Name of the Lord. Have we receiv'd all good from him so long And shall he think that now he doth us wrong O the perverse impatiency of our sinful nature when our minde at first is newly wounded with our misfortunes and whilst that it is in a fresh and yet-bleeding remembrance with us what cursed and even nothing else but madly discontented imaginations do there rise up and occur unto our mindes how full of raging and masterlesse thoughts are we so that if we go about never so little to stop the furious current of them and to turn necessity into a vertue by applying the consideration of it to some contentful use or good resolution our wicked passion most times is so unruly with discontent that by no means can we over-master or bring it into the subjection of any sober thoughts Which being so we must needs for the present let it slack and altogether as much as possible exclude it out of the minde if that haply afterwards our passion being allayed and more reasonable we may consider it with some discretion so hard a thing as I say is it to wrestle with a disturbed passion in its excesse and truely as sin grows on in the soul so the passions of our minde grow further and further into excesse and immoderate distempers Sin when it getteth much strength within is methinks of all things in the world most like unto the pestilence the Pestilence when the height of the disease is upon a man makes him even as phrenzie distempered with the violence thereof so as I say sin doth here unhinge all the affections of the soul into a furious and madly-behaving humour when it flies much out of reason into an immoderate excesse The Pestilence when it worketh a full infection is a disease very mortal and deadly so that few escape it so sin when a man is much over gone therewith bringeth the soul into a very sad and dangerous condition and it is the effect of Gods greatest mercy that we do overcome it Lastly the Pestilence that grand misery of Mankinde is usually attended upon with many inferiour mischiefs as the Measles Small Pox and the like so sin those great exorbitancies of the minde which are truely the misery of all miseries and cause of all miseries unto us men are ever accompanied with smaller inconveniences and vanities of conversation And so then what with greater sins and lesser vanities we may now well say with the Preacher Vanity of vanities all is vanity There is no word no deed no not a thought In us but 's vain and altogether nought I say What are all our thoughts our words and deeds but vain even of no weight substance and solidity for know thou O my soul that nihil est non vanum quod non ad aeternitatem pertinet that all that is vain which aims not at eternity Those thoughts thâ—se words those works which perish and do not accompany and follow us into heaven that we may there for ever rejoyce of them those all those I say are vain and idle and such whereof we must be sure as our Saviour saith to give an account and thus through our so totally depraved condition of sin all that is within us is become vanity and lighter then vanity it self our thoughts think vanity and nothing but vanity we say to our selves What profit is there in serving the Lord do not things fall out and prosper as well with the wicked as the righteous Doubtlesse he that dwelleth on high regardeth it not and there is no difference unto us Again we think foolishly Hath not God sâ— chained the course of things by his Eternal Predestination to such and such periods and events that the fatal boâ—nds and decree thereof we can by means frustrate Alter it we cannot how then is it in us to do good or to do evil 't is not our fault that we are not saved we could not sin bad â—e not appointed it and we cannot avoid it because he hath appointed it Thus we many times ignorantly judge and conceive that Gods ways are as our ways but he shall one day convince and reprove us he shall set our sins before us making our Consciences truely to confesse that Thou O Lord art good art holy righteous and just but it is we of our selves that have sinned done wickedly and stubbornly gone astray from thy Commandments Our thoughts think nothing but vanity Such is the vain singularity of our intentions in any thing which is of moment or considerablenesse that we contemptuously slight and lightly regard to follow the common manner and fashion always aiming at some rare and unusual way thereby to be advanced into a more general
turn us unto a due serious repenting or sufficiently to rouze us up out of the unhappie Lethargie of sin and therefore sure God is now whetting his sword and bending his bowe against us As Lazrâ—â— in his grave so we have been in our trespasses and sins so long dead even stark dead unto all goodnesse that we had need be call'd unto elatâ voce as it is in the Eleventh of Saint John with a loud voice if God mean that we shall effectually hear him Dangerous diseases deserve desperate cures If nothing else can thorowly awake us the Judgement of a troubled minde and tormented Conscience must do it But when once it comes to passe that the Almighty sheweth forth his wonders in the deep his mighty strength after this manner in the deep thoughts of mans heart O what a sharp fit and tedious bout must we undergo for saith Solomon The spirit of maâ— may sustain his infirmity but a wounded spirit who can bear Not Job 's afflictions nor yet all those ten Egyptian plagues can parallel agen The misery that that poor soul is in Whom heav'n doth strike with terrour for his sin Any outward crosse or trouble is tolerable and may be sustained but the inner trouble of a distracted minde and wounded Conscience who can bear You may note that though the minde and Conscience be toucht with many secret terrours and perplexed difficulties in the course and passage of this life according to that of David concerning himself Even from my youth up thy terrours have I suffered with a troubled minde I say There be in the soul of man many tormenting thoughts as also sins of ours and sayings of Scripture often too hard for us well to digest but this ensuing Passage of a distracted minde and troubled Conscience is seldom parallel'd For lo I shall herein shew you a Mystery even welnigh the very height and utmost pitch of Terrour and sad Distraction that the melancholy minde can undergo without falling quite into Fury and Madnesse which doth fitly follow this more then ordinary ill course of life here presupposed and so long a sleep in presumption For this is the right Method in the state of the soul before such great trouble of minde there usually precedes a deep sleep in Presumption because the minde and Conscience can never be very much inwardly troubled it may suffer some small distresse I say never be much troubled as long as fear the watchman of the soul keeps his due centry And therefore this is the true wisedom of a careful Christian diligently to keep this watch about him lest he be overtaken besotted and engaged in sin and so then the day of the Lord come upon him like a thief in the night I say the day of the Lord the day of his Judgement a day of gloominesse and thick darknesse a day of trouble and distraction of minde even such a day as is exprest in the next Part wherein the Lord thundreth from heaven with his mighty power against the soul of man Of the Soul troubled in Conscience WEll the troubles and terrours before spoken of in the precedent part in reference to these that follow and are now at hand are but as S. Matthew saies of those troubles that shall go before the day of Judgement the beginning of sorrowes I say the beginning of sorrow they are like the scattering drops which fall before a shower and O now the shower it self begins to fall apace a terrible shower and most violent storm such a one as David speaks of in Psal 11. vers 6. where he saith Vpon the wicked be shall raine snares fire and brimstone and an horrible tempest this shall be their portion to drinke For now our minds and bodies being perhaps more properly made fit for that purpose I say the rather fitted thereunto as either by occasion of the leisure and vacancy of the mind or also by the like concurring occasion of strong melancholly vapours in the body or other diseased disturbance Though fin only be the procuring cause yet these or some of these are usually the present occasions which mainly help it forward we quickly fall into an exceeding dumpishnesse of mind and even in a short space our fancy is followed with swarmes of tormenting thoughts in so extraordinary a manner that we cannot tell what to doe they come so thick one upon another and are impious in so high a degree that the dismall and hellish terrour thereof doth quite dull and take off our sences There is for the most part no one houre all day long but that we are haunted with them as with so many hideous ghosts insomuch that usually do what we can nothing will put them from our mind or give us the least ease and respit from this misery Intentions still our mind gets no reliefe At all from this tormâ—nting inward griefe Those thoughts they are such black thoughts most of them so infinitely fearfull so unspeakable heynous that they do make us extreamly to shake with feare and put us many times in such a trembling that we are as it were fainting with the deep agony and anguish thereof they do so subtilly shoot into our imagination that for our lives we cannot with all our strength and endeavour shut them out or so much as mitigate the violence of them they are even as the piercing lightning which cannot be withstood For least your understanding should be mistaken it is to be noted that those thoughts not as yet spoken of are more of a darting then a reflecting nature To go on they are as so many terrifying Haggards and hellish ghosts unto us that do even make us shrinke for feare as often as we do but think upon them or so much as take the least glimpse thereof into our apprehension and then as soon as we are thus never so little afraid they will sure come upon us and that the more fiercely too fear giving any adversary advantage to have the greater power over us The manner of being affrighted herewith many times is as when some extraordinary thunderclap on the sudden strikes a man with so violent a terrour that his heart is even as they say out of his mouth therewith the passion whereof is able to be in such an excesse that it doth even stun our sences for the time making us as quite sick with the amazement of it What shall I say No mortall tongue can â—hew Those fearfull terrors which our mind doth know It is said indeed in the sixth Chap. of Genesis that every imagination of the thoughts of mans heart are onely evill continually But O these and the like thoughts as I may say even sent from Hell into the soul of man are so beyond measure unreasonably evill that we shall many times think to our selves think it I say to be a thing almost impossible that man as a meer man and being only in the mortall condition of humanity should be capable of entertaining such
intollerable things within him As also sometimes we shall think thus that if other men did but know what vile imaginations what monstrous indignities there are in our heads they would sure be ready to kill us out of zeale to piety and revenge to Gods glory as not fit to live on earth who are in truth full of nothing but Hell Many times perhaps are our thoughts of such high and immediate impiety that we verily look for one fearfull judgement or other presently to confound us and do even quake and crouch down as though some fierce thunderbolt of vengeance were already falling from Heaven upon us These thoughts they are not all of them evill in the same degree some it may be being far worse then some as also they are not all of the same nature for the diverfity of every ones constitution and the diversity or severall kinds of sins to which we are most addicted do perchance much varie the nature of them yet most of them in the same particular party specially at the first do ever point to one kind of end and effect in a while the much prevailing strength of these thoughts hath such a terrifying power in us that even but one of them is sufficient to strike an heart-breaking passion of so great a trembling and distemper into us that we shall not be wholly out of it again for a whole day after being usually in the mean space revolving in our minds the heynousnesse thereof or buâ—ying our fancy with orher trifling conceipts of the like nature so that our mind is never no never free from some one cogitation or other which concerns this our trouble At our first entrâ— into this sad case before we are fully possest with the course and quality thereof we shall be apt thus to consider and revolve within our selves O Lord how shall we do to recogitate and examine over againe in repentance these unhappy thoughts when as the very remotest glimpse of them in our fancy is so too much terrible unto us for we do feel our selves seldome lively and perfectly to repent us of our sins but that in very act of repentance those things which do most go against our conscience do re-appear unto us afresh and that we do as it were really see the enormity of them I say we shall thus perhaps ho and be solicitous how to repent for though we may and do now repent in the habit and intention of repentance I mean in the reality and sense of it yet peradventure we cannot in a right and duly performed act thereof habitually by turning fâ—om our evill course but not actually by putting in practice that lively action of the mind which is ordinarily requisite and belonging thereunto I say for all that our hearts be as it were broken in pieces with these heavy troubles yet we cannot enjoy so feeling a remorse in our souls or so kindly dissolve our selves into a serious and right humiliation as we desire and as wee ought to do though as it seemeth to our poor unhappy souls The Lord hath charg'd us with so great a Curse That mortall flesb cannot sustaine a worse Though I saâ— we are so Divell-like and hellishly untoward in our selves and though we truly know and do well consider this our wofull condition yet can we not perchance thorough this great distemper of fancy can we not as I say performe that action of mind which fitly belongs thereunto being held in such a strong incongruity unto the naturall use of all inward duties that there yet appeareth in us me thinks no due readinesse of heart to a bleeding and truly conscientious sorrow Now therefore in this most evill case least that we should go down quick into Hell and be swallowed up with this sudden destruction we do mightily labour to set out all the power and strength that we have in striving to deject and bring down our outward souls to a duer and more applyable sorrow for our sins For you must understand that the strongnesse and violence hereof a pretty while upon its first comming doth amaze and so much take up our thoughts with disturbed terrour and admiration that we cannot presently apply our selves with good and exactly go over each particular of repentance to the full Now then as much as it is possible I say to the utmost do we set our selves this way to turn a new leafe to change the whole frame and course of our inner man For lo O Lord there is no rest unto our souls by reason of this thy wrath neither is there yet any ease at all to our consciences by reason of our sins First then to begin The former policy delight and habit of our mind which we did heretofore seriously embrace applaud and approve is now become hatefull and odious unto us we cannot abide so much as the very thought thereof and lo the whole aime of our intention and purpose is only set to a particular and punctuall re-counting of all our sins past although the heynousâ—esse and multitude of them for want of due repentance so long is perchance grown to that passe that it is most irksom to us our hearts even faint thereat and are very loath even as loath to meddle thoroughly with this scrutiny and to search it to the purpose as the grleved party is loath to open the playster from his tender soare the clinging whereof he knows will tear away the very skin from the flesh So hard a thing it is for to divorse Sin that is roâ—ted with a constant course So difficult is the due ordering purging and examining of a conscience that is much overgrown with sin we do now as I say set our selves to a particular re-capitulation of all our sins that so we may fully trie out and remove the cause of this our misâ—ry and therefore as it were stopping our ears and apprehension as much as possible from the noise and disturbance of all other things we do altogether dive our thoughts into a most deep and distinct consideration and remembrance of all our former iniquities wherupon there may and doubtlesse will at one time or other occurre unto our memory all even all I say and almost every one of the greatest sins of our whole life with their particular circumstances and manner of committing Thus here Deep Melancholly without noise presents Of each our sins the sad and true contents And then she sits with that accusing scroll To passe her judgement on the guilty soul Judging deeming and concluding somtimes one to be the greatest of the sins somtimes another sometimes this to be the chiefest cause of our misery sometimes that somtimes neither this nor that in particular but in generall the sinfull courses of our whole time but all this while ever now and then shall we be thinking with our selves sure our case is so dangerous that never any souls were in the like sad condition sure our case is so incurably bad we cannot conceive
how it is possible for us to come into Gods favour any more Our wound of Conscience is se deep 't is sure So deep me thinks that it is past all cure Thus we hang in suspense betwixt hope and feare least that it be not possible for us to be saved and then snall we be very earnest and diligent to search out after such books if we can read which handle matter of conscience and to peruse them as perchance Master Greenbam Master Perkins Master Bolton and the like to see whether we can find any likelihood that ever any have been in the like wretched state before us or affected with such trouble and distraction in the same nature and when perchance we do finde but little or nothing whereby to conjecture that others formerly have been in such a case then verily me thinks there is no hopes for us no body was ever in such a desperate danger and therfore we must needs be damned But if peradventure we read or hear of any that have been somwhat neer alike affected as we are whose inward trouble doth resemble the manner and fashion of ours it doth revive us with a little comfort and satisfaction That only doth give us most ease of any thing That and nothing but that doth afford some refreshing to our weary and distressed souls Well having as I say before brought up our sins out of the abisse of long oblivion and as Enders Witch did Samuels person or personated Ghost So having raised up the true representation of these ugly ghosts to our sad remembrance we labour by grieving and sighing for perhaps we can hardly weep at first though we doe much force our selves to it I say by sighing by fasting and prayer to bring our mis-happen and untowardly distempered souls to apply and conforme to some lively penance and sensible remorse for our wretchednesse we do now suffer no difficulty to withdraw us from this necessary work of dejection but do keep our selves at Schoole to it by force for though we do grieve and sorrow not a little for our sins yet still being in this case as we are it seemeth to us not enough it pierceth not to the depth of our offences we must yet do penance in further humiliation this then compulsive and violent urging our selves to sorrow for sin together with the troubled thoughts of our mind and conscience in a while breeds in us perchance a constant custome and habit of sighing so that we shall often ever and anon interrupt our breath with sighs when we are altogether so untoward and out of all order in our minds that we can do nothing else nor pray nor read nor consider nor meditate as we should then shall we force our selves to sigh this we can do and this perchance is all that we can do and this with the continued use thereof doth at length so spend our spirits and dry up the naturall moysture of our bodies that it maketh our countenances for the most part look with a very pale and sorrowfull dejection according to what Salomon saith a merry heart maketh a theerfull countenance so our sorry heart maketh us a sad countenance our beauty is quite gone for very trouble and worne away because of all our iniquities and though for all we are thus unreasonably tortured with these close fretting troubles and such continuall anguish of mind yet a good while upon the first beginning of our trouble it is the nature of us all to strive howsoever to keep it as much as may be very secret and private unto our selves for that we are ashamed and loath that any should be acquainted with what an unhappy case we are in but we shall usually with the grief thereof go about so solicitarily so moopish and look so ill and perchance starvinglâ— too as if we were drunken or distracted that our friends cannot but observe the unwonted state and behaviour of us Each one may read the story of our case In the sad tokens of a silent face Such earnest trouble and intention of Hannab's mind made old Ely take notice of her as if she had been drunken who answereth No my Lord I am a woman of a sorrowfull spirit And though perchance for a while we shall be loath to give such an answer and tell the truth to our friends or others who are ready to demand what the matter is with us why we look or sigh so what doth aâ—le us and the like yet in time this grief is so intolerable that it must needs have its vent for strangulat inclusus dolor any grief by its keeping close doth rage the worse Gods heavy hand is so strong upon us there is no concealing of it long the weary and restlesse condition we are in makes us in the end not to care who knows it or to whom it be told so that we might but find any help or ease thereof for perhaps we are so exceedingly tired out with this trouble that there is not so much as the least rest or intermission at all unto our minds neither day nor night whilst we awake we think out whilst we sleep we dream out and we are interrupted with tumblings and tossings even all the night long the mind never ceaseth from its trouble when we are in company let there be what businesse or discourse soever in hand we are amoâ—ost them as those that are quite stunned and amazed in our sences no otherwise affected then if we did neither see nor hear them our mind being alwaies working and musing upon its inward grief and when we are private by our selves either what through the agony of evill and tormenting thoughts and what with plodding on the heynousnesse of our sins and generall course of our life or by being terrified and dismayed with certain difficult Texts and passages of Scripture our mind and conscience is in a constant agitation at no rest Lo there 's a fin that to the heart doth wound And here 's a thought that strikes us to the ground With sâ—â—ouning fear And then a Text again Buries that soul which those before bad sluin I say when we are in private and so forth for our desolate and sorsaken soul delighteth as David did in the 102. Psalm to sit alone by her self like an Owl that is in the desert or like a Sparrow upon the house top thus being alone toyled in misery and snarld in perplexity that we cannot tell what to do we shall kneel down in our chamber or elswhere and by urging our selves to tears in a while gush out a bundantly in our prayers for though it be difficult for a full grown and middle age to dissolve their grief into tears yet in such cases as this it is usuall and then most of us when once we do thus bring our selves into an use and custome of weeping we do seldome pray at any time without tears desiring to weep often and often in private when we cannot pray as we would for
it is so combustable a thing that the least sparke is able to set it in a flame Alas the brickle reed being bruised and crusht into shivers it is a very little hold-fast that it hath it is as good as quite broken off and yet he will not breake it off it shall grow together againe become firme and usefull Such is the exceeding mercy of the Lord to poor sinners even beyond all humane likelihood and capacity When man doth see no hope or life at all Our God can then revive us with a call And yet loe all these comfortable perswasions can doe no good all this is but Surdâ— cavere to sing as it were to a dead man this nor nothing of this fits our Disease it comes not aneer me thinks unto our case it agrees not with our malady though Christ came into the world to save sinners and though the Lord hath given most large and mercifull promises in the Scripture for the comfort of sinners yet this is nothing to us this concernes not such sinners as we such grievous such constant such highly rebellious sinners if others have sinned grievously and yet are saved certaine there was a farre greater reason for it in their other towardlinesse to good or the like then that we can find in our selves Mark it it is this our present untowardnesse that alwaies puts us into the greatest plunges of despaire and thus our thoughts stand fully possest with nothing else but that we are remedilesse wretches desperate miscreants and utterly forsaken of God And no marvaile that thorough this sad unhappinesse of mind that we we miserable wretched and sinfull souls are thus forsaken when as our blessed Saviour himself in that his great agony of trouble and distresse of minde on the Crosse cryed out My God my God why hast thou forsaken me No marvaile I say that we who are the greatest of sinners should be forsaken and left alone to sinke into unmercifull despaire when as he that was no sinner at all even one with God himselfe with the imputative burden of our sins Cryed out as if he had been left destitute and even ready to yeeld under them My God my God why hast thou forsaken me But to goe on O the strength of Melancholly or rather indeed the strength of sin and a convicted Conscience In Melancholly natures there are no Arguments and Reasons of the most skilfull Divines that can ease our hearts or refresh our souls in this extreamity of trouble perhaps moderate Physick convenient employment and the constant company direction and guidance of some wise understanding party may be necessary outward helps for us but verily the best inner comfort that at any time we doe gather though usually it be but little is as I have formerly said by those that are or have been afflicted with troubles and disturbance of mind somewhat alike us in the same kind either by a full understanding of the event passages and condition of their trouble or else by conference with them if it may be and communicating our estates and maladies together Take 't for a rule that that Physician still In all Diseases fits the Patient best Whos 's owne experience doth improve his skill And it confirmes with a probatum est The experience I say of others misery is the best satisfaction we can find in our own and truly we do not meet with a better or more generally soveraign salve in the comparing of all our judgments experiences together then in the midst of all our grievous tortures and distresse of mind to strive wholly to rest our selves as quiet as contented and as patient as we may and to tarry the Lords leasure Our souls our bodies and all are in thine hands O God deale with us as it shall seeme good in thine eyes if thou hast ordained and prepared us for Heaven blessed be thy Name if thou hast given us over and that we are like Tares bound up and fitted for Hell blessed also be thy Name it is doubtlesse for thy glory and it is but our just desert come life come death come Heaven come Heâ—l the Will of the Lord be done we are not able to sustaine the care of our selves all the strength of our poor souls and bodies is not sufficient to take a full charge or undergoe care enough to preserve the least creature in the world much lesse of so noble a creature as is the soul of man Since therefore we are not sufficient for these things we must doe the best we may and cast the rest of our care upon God humbly resigning over our selves unto him that so he may beare that care for us which our weak and narrow â—ouls cannot beare for themselves Sure we doe not a little offend God I am verily of the mind in being over much discontented and impatiently grieved as many times we are in our selves â—ot though in the bitternesse of our misery being perswaded to be content and to be resolved with more quietnesse of mind we shall usually not without reason plead for our grieving and taking on so deeply O Lord how can we be quiet and at rest to sustaine such a Hell in our breasts Can we carry fiery coals in our bosome and not be burnt therewith Can our soul be rackt with such tormenting anguish of impious thoughts and despairing terrours and yet not weep sigh and abundantly complaine thereof Doth not Hezekiah in the 38. of Esay Chatter like a Crow and a Swallow and mourn like a Dove for the feare of cutting off of a few momentary daies and can we be sufficiently impatient with griefe to be cut off from the Land of the living even all hope of Heaven for ever Shall Rachell mourne for the losse of her Children so that she will not be comforted and can we weep and cry out enough for the losse of our souls unto all Eternity Nay can we endure but so much as to conceive the Devill haling â—erking and tormenting any of our deare friends either living or departed this life I say to see their distracted looks to heare their lamentable and intolerable cryes and not to have our bowels melt within us and we can endure to see our selves turned out from the face of God for ever to burne and fry most deservedly with everlasting paines in Hell fire O let us alone at the thoughts of these things to poure out our selves into Oceans of tears and to roare even roare aloud forthe very disquietnesse of our hearts I say O let us houle cry out and make a moane Able to break the very hearts of stone So just cause have we in this case me thinks to forrow without measure nay more if it were possible then to the very death Is there any cause of sorrow like this cause Weep not for me that labour may be spared to weep for other things but weep for our selves there is cause enough that is truly to be wept for and nothing else but
dust What man liveth and shall not see death or shall deliver his soul from the hand of Hell Omnes eadem sorte premimur Mine thine his and every ones Lot is cast the houre and the minute of our lives is limited farre off it cannot be for it commeth or is comming how soon we cannot tell Watch therefore even watch continually since yee know not the houre Vitae summa brevis spem nos veâ— at incboare longam The whole summe of our life is but short how then can we expect death to be farre off David calls our life a shadow Job a smoake Salomon a Ship In a Ship saith a Father whether we sit or stand we are alwaies carried towards the Haven so our life is ever moving towards death no houre but the Sun goes Westward no moment but our age hastens to its end to its long end it will quickly come the longest day hath his night Methusalem hath his moâ—tuus est and he dyed I say the longest day hath its night and here it puts me in minde of that our Proverbiall saying All the life-long day the day fitly expressing our life and our life a day a day only a summers day towards the evening the Sun shines out most bright and glorious and loe presently it is downe such is the shortnesse and sudden departure of our life that David in like manner hath most aptly expressed it by a tale We bring our yeares saith he to an end even as it were a tale that is told for when it goes pleasantly on and we expect to heare more of it before we are aware on 't it is ended thus as it were In the midst of life we are in death and are cut away like the flower which fadeth in a moment verily therefore all flesh is Grasse and the glory thereof but as the flower of the field and yet such is most times our folly so to build up our thoughts here upon Earth as if we had an Eternity to live for ever whereas do but we duely consider it every day that goes over our heads bids us be in readinesse for death gives a sufficent Item of Mortality Immortalia nesperes monetannus almain c. So many daies so many moneths so many yeares past and gone so many passing Bells so many Funerals celebrated before our eyes must needs forbid us to expect a long time Saint Chrysostome saith That nothing hath deceived men so much as the vaine hope of a long life who knoweth the Sun may set at the morning of our life or at noone if at neither of these yet be sure the Evening commeth and then it will set The Lord bids Moses in the 19. Chapter of Exodus To prepare the people against the third day although we passe over the first day our youth and the second day our middle age yet at furthest we must be ready against the third day our old age the first or the second day may be our last the third day must needs be our last and therefore saith Seneca Omnis dies sicut ultima est ordinanda Every day ought so to be ordered as if we should not live a day longer Me thinkes Saint Austines experience should be a sufficient warning to us for saith he Experti sumus multos ' expirasse expectantes reconciliari We have seene many to have been cut off whilst they have but begun to make their reconciliation with God too too many alas there be whose Sun hath set ere they thought it to be their Mid-day Let us take heed that death steale not on us as a thiefe in the night Lucius Caesar dyed in the morning putting on his Cloathes Alphonsus a young man dyed as he was riding on his Horse We need not seeke after forraigne Examples there be too many of the same nature at home with us How many have we seene before our eyes some to be snacht from their pleasures some from their sinnes some from their worldly employments whereas they have made their accounts of many years to come so true is that of the Poet Nemo tam divos habuit faventes Crastinum ut possit polliceri diem The Gods no man did ere such favour give That he was sure another day to live There is no certainty of this life not for a dâ—y not for an houre no not so much as for a moment God hath many means to take us away even in an instant as we go up and downe as we sleep as we do but draw our breath any how good is it therefore that we have a Memento mori alwaies at all times hanging over our heads like that Sword in the Story which hung by a Horse haire over the head of him that sate at Feast putting us in a due feare and warning of the continuall danger that we are in I say alwaies hanging over our heads and so imprinted in our thoughts that we may seriously remember how short our time is how soone our night commeth It is Platoes Opinion That a wise mans life is nothing but a continuall thinging or meditating upon death Philip King of Macedonia had his Page three times every morning to tell him Philip remember that thou art a man that thou art mortall that thâ—u must dye O excellent Memento and most worthy to be imitated the Emperour of Constantinople was wont sitting in his Royall Throne to have a Mason come to him with his Tooles in his hand asking What kind of stone he would have his Tombe made of intimating that he should not forget how soone all that his Royall pompe might be buried in the Grave And here me thinks I cannot but repeat The famous Act of Saladine the great Who amidst his noble Victories and conquering Triumphs had so much minde of his death and the true end of all earthly glory that he appointed his winding sheeâ— to be carried upon a Speare before him at his Funerall thorough out the City proclaiming thus his intention of minde All these my Riches glorious Pompe and Traine When Dâ—â—th is come they are to me in vaine This Winding sheet is all that I shall have Along with me to carry to the Grave The good Father was so mindfull of Mortality that he had alwaies ringing in his eares Surgite mortui venite ad judicium Rise yee dead and come to Judgement to the end he might husband his time so worke in this day of his life here that he might not be found an unprofitable Servant when his night came Iohannes Godfridus had these words engraven in Gold Every day I stand at the doore of Eternity And in divers parts of his House he had set up the bones and Sculls of dead men that so his eyes if it were possible might have no other Object to behold then of mortality Sure there are no thoughts doe more concerne us Mortalls then those of Death O then Teach us so Lord to number our daies that wa may apply our hearts unto wisedom
that our souls may so wisely esteeme the shortnesse of this life that we may never forget this this I say in the Field in our Journey in our Beds at all times and every where while it is day whilst we live that the night that is our death commeth and then no man can work which is the last observeable thing and the effect of the night No man can worke Man goeth forth to his worke and to his labour untill the Evening Vntill the evening no longer we have done in this life whatsoever we shall doe Mors ultima linia rerum Death is the full period of all our Actions there remaines now no more teares of Repentance no more works of Piety no more sacrifice for sinne no more I say no more for ever Phisick comes too late when the party is deceased Actum est we have actedâ—our parts here whilst we were in this life all now is done the scene is ended Remember my Sonne that thou in thy life time receiveast thy good things that thou hadst then the opportunity to have made thy selfe happy for ever if thou wouldst but what canst thou now give to redeeme thy soul when instead of good workes thou hast nothing but paine and torment instead of the godly sorrow of repentance nothing but the Hellish sorrow of despaire Oh how many millions of years would the miserable soul be glad to work the hardest work that might be invented if it were but possible for her to work out her salvation O how precious would she esteeme those minutes and gather up those crummes of time which she hath here so foolishly neglected and thus me thinks that lamentable voice of the untimely departed soul doth sound this warning peale in our eares All yee that live by me learne to be wise Your precious time at higher worth to prize For â—oe alas my time was past so soone That night was come ere that I thought it noone And now too late unhappy wretch Idearly lament my headlesse fâ—lly Spes omnium in bot or be molestiarum est admirabile lenimentum Hope saith Drexelius is an excellent refreshing and comfort in all the troubles of this life as long as there is some hope there is some comfort and be our miseries never so great we are here in possibility to have ease of them but after death there is not the least possibility hope or comfort aâ— all to be expected the Doome is past no man can work all the world is not able to purchase one drop of ease or refreshing any more O that it is too late too late too late to cry for mercy O that the doore is shut and there is no entering in Give me saith one a River of teares to weep before I dye well might he wish it for he knew there was no weeping to any purpose when he was dead O let me weep weep weep and ne're give o're My sins till I have washed cleane away O let me never cease for to implore My Iudge till I come to the Iudgement Day O let us repent now for we cannot repent in that day if ever we meane to doe our selves good now is the time because we cannot worke when the night is come Let us therefore worke while it is day while we have time while we may vvork Obsecro vos O Christiant per vos perquae salutem vestram c. as Drexelius bespake his Auditers so let me bespeake our soules and selves O yee Christian soules yee souls vvhom Christ hath dyed for let me beseech you for your ovvne sake for your salvations sake for your Saviours sake that yee vvould avoid this Shipwrack the danger is certain if we looke not to it in time as long as life lasts our amendment is not too late doe we fall by sin a thousand times we may rise againe by repentance a thousand times We may begin any day any houre to become better But in death no man remembreth thee O Lord and who can give thee thankes in the Grave As David did concerning Bathsheba's Child so whilst life is in us we may weepe and humble our selves by repentance but in death all hope all possibility of recovery is cut off Whilst we have therefore time let us make use of it I say let us take it whilst we have it for time will stay for no man it is but a while that we have to worke one daies labour will make us happy forever our Fathers have had their daies and are gone and now this is our day I say ours if we lose it not our day and portion of time which God hath allotted us to workâ— out our salvation in Woe is us then if we work not even triplox vae an woe and an Eternall woe We vvould faine depart and be in Heaven O let us do our taske whilst we are on earth To conclude let not the Sun set upon our wrath upon our lust upon our covetuousnesse upon our pride and the like alas what a dismall what a dolefull night must we then expect Let us not be wearv of well doing for in due season we shall reape if we saint not let us now go on in our way towards Heaven weeping and we shall returne with sheaves in our bosome let us so we in teares and we shall reape in joy let us be found so working now in this day of our life that at the night of our death when our Lord and Master Christ Jesus cometh we may partake of that blessednesse which is promised in the Gospel to that Servant who when his Master commeth he sball finde so doing so shall we receive that eâ—ge boni servi Well done yee good and faithfull servants enter you therefore into your Masters joy Amen Sit gloria Deo in saecula saeculorum A farewell to the Reader ANd now kind Reader thanking you for your patience that hath vouchsafed to peruse over this my unworthy labour I desire you to understand Each mans a little world and my Booke A Land-Skip is this world to overlooke There may you ken the Cedar tops of pride With thorny cares and buskets on each side The fruits of grace there also may you see Like Apples just as they grow on the tree And then again a River meets your eye Of tears for sin and mans sad misery Mountains of Zeal do here and there swell up Even to the Clouds but 't is enough I stop Not presuming to borrow your patience any longer or trouble you with many things only I shall intreate you to take this unum necessarâ—um this one necessary thing along with you and well to observe it that the way of the Lord may be thus trackt out in the soul of man First the sight of Gods being seriously apprehended strikes into us a reverend feare of his infinite greatnesse this feare casteth us downe before him into a condemning humility of our sinfull wreâ—chednesse this humility breedeth an admiring love of the abundance of his mercy towards us in his blessings this love maketh us bold to have trust and relyance on him as our help and defence this trust affordeth patience to hold out and endure in all difficulties whatsoever this patience at length crowneth us with hope of Heaven not a foolish hope built on the sand but a strong hope setled with discretion a hope built on such ground which maketh not ashamed not ashamed in life not ashamed in death not ashamed in the day of Iudgement This hope O Lord grant unto you to me and to us all and so preserve it in us for thy mercies sake that it may end at last in the perfect fruition of thine eternall Kingdome there that we may be together for ever untill which most happytime dearly beloved I heartily bid you farewell in longum valete farewell even a long farewell FINIS Imprimatur John Downham 17. Febr. 1645. ERRATA REad most frequently thrust page 10. line 1. the two first lines p. 17. are to be read as verses for holy seam r. holy stem p. 18. l. 10. for his liberality r. this liberality p. 30. l. 3. for the least of which is many of which are p. 30 l. 27. for who giveth us gives us p. 31. l. 15. for minde wind p. 44. l. 16. for honour humour p. 62. l. 31. for shall he shall we p. 64. l. 13. for not as yet as yet p. 82. l. 18. for outward souls untoward souls p. 85. l. 13. for we can can we p. 104. l. 24. for are not a little offended doe not a little offend 105. l. 26. and l. 29. for even ever for Devil the Devill p. 112. l. 24. For the lesser faults I desire your favourable construction Emblematized thus Psal 101. 1