other Voice but that of Wo Lamentation and bitter Bewailing was day and night to be heard Insomuch that she was an Heart-breaking Grief to her Friends a Burthen to her self and an amazing Spectacle of Astonishment to all that look'd upon her The Lord Pardon the Hardness of my Heart that having these things under review I am no more affected Never did I see such a Mournful Sight never did I hear such a doleful Sound and I think never was there a Creature more exactly like in Sorrow to her Redeemer in the day of his Humiliation when he said of himself My Soul is exceeding Sorrowful and heavy unto Death I had great Thoughts and Akeings of Heart about her what the Issue of these things would be my very Soul travelled in Birth till Christ was formed in her till she was made through the up-lifting of the Spirit to arise and shine as seeing Light to be come and the Glory of the Lord to be risen upon her I pray'd for her I pray'd with her I cry'd day and night to the mighty God of Jacob in her behalf I wept I sigh'd I sobb'd my Heart was ready to break my Soul mourn'd in secret places because the Chariot-wheels of Deliverance drove so heavily on I chose suitable Subjects as I thought for her Condition to Preach upon in publick and did many times apply what I delivered particularly to her She sate just against me in the next Pew to the Pulpit Her Eyes were continually fixed on me but with so ghastly and pittiful a look which had such an Impression on me that I could scarce refrain Tears whenever I cast my Eyes upon her She always repair'd after Evening Sermon to the Repetition Lecture in the middle of the Town carried on by a Godly Zealous Brother of our Church who never failed to pour out his Soul in Prayer to God for her and that in a most affectionate melting manner I was many times as oft as my Weakness would permit there my self and when all was over I used to take her by the Hand and smilingly ask her Come Dear Mrs. Mary how is it with you has God spoken any thing to your Soul to day Have you relish'd and savor'd any thing you have heard Her answer I very well remember was always the same No my Heart is too hard I have not been in the least sensible of any thing you have deliver'd this day you had as good have Preach'd to a Stone as to me And then pulling her Hood over her Eyes to hide her Tears would pensively go away for she could never bear to be long in any Company This Oh! this filled my Heart with unexpressible Sadness that no word how suitable soever would fasten that no Truth how Pertinent soever would take hold on her that one Sabbath came successively after another but she never the better her Soul was not at all refresh'd by any Waters flowing from the Sanctuary I want words to tell you how my wounded Spirit was upon the Rack how my disturbed Mind was in a Flame for this young disconsolate Gentlewoman who was so miserably walking in Darkness that she could see no Light who was so wofully under the Gripings of Satan that she could by no means be perswaded to trust in the Name of the Lord or stay her self upon her God In this deplorable State lying among the Pots she continued many Weeks without any sensible Alteration unless for the worse That she was in a lost undone Condition having an hard unbelieving Heart without any Interest in Christ or like to have any was the Versus intercularis or the Burthen of the Song in her continued uninterrupted dolorous Complaint At last in the midst of some serious Discourse she desired me to keep a day with her to seek the Lord for her to which I willingly consented as very glad of the Motion she desired some other Minister might be also assistant in the Work to which I freely gave way She then ask'd me what Minister would be most acceptable to me I answered I was very indifferent and desired her to please her self and she would not nor could not displease me She propounded Mr. Earl of Gospert who I think was some Relation to her I told her with all my Heart Accordingly we met at a Private House in the Town with several Christian Friends Mr. Earl began with Prayer and I with Preaching from these words Psal 43.5 Why art thou cast down O my Soul And why art thou disquieted within me Hope in God for I shall yet Praise him who is the Health of my Countenance and my God I directed my Discourse wholly to her and spake all as far as God help'd me that I could judge proper for her to hear under the Circumstances she at that time was she sate at the Table just against me fixing her Eyes constantly on me with a doleful and pitty-commanding look But nothing I said as I could by after-discourse perceive made any Impression on her After I concluded with Prayer Mr. Earl then Preach'd his Text was John 14.27 Peace I leave with you my Peace I give unto you not as the World giveth give I unto you She was in appearance a great deal worse after this day than she was before Her Temptations were more rampant her Breakings-out in bitter and dismal Complaints were more violent and her Sorrow great enough before did every way more abundantly increase which made my Soul mourn in secret breathing forth the sad words of the Church O Lord God of Hosts how long wilt thou be angry against the Prayer of thy People Thou feedest this poor Creature with the Bread of Tears and givest her Tears to drink in great measure One night very late I cannot forget it I was sent for in all haste to her when I came I found her in the most dreadful Agonies under the most horrible Consternation of Spirit as 't was possible for any of the Children of Men on this side the Lake of Burning to be possessed with She cry'd she roar'd out in a most terrible manner even beyond an humane Accent as if she had been at the brink of Hell ready to be swallowed up in the bottomless Gulf The Sorows of Death compassed her and the Pains of Hell took hold upon her yea she found Trouble and to the Amazement and Sorrow even to the Astonishment of all that were in the Chamber with her I was at my Wits end what to do to speak any thing I too evidently saw was but in vain and yet I could not I dar'd not be silent She took no notice of any words upon what Topick soever enforced nor in the least minded the Sluces of Consolation how Sweet and Pleasant soever that were opened to her I pray'd and intreated her I begg'd and beseeched her I spoke to her in the most moving and melting Language I was capable to utter and that with Tears in my Eyes with Contrition in my
And so I came to the words of the Text Then I said I am cast out of thy sight yet I will look again toward thy Holy Temple Which after I had open'd by shewing in what Sense Jonah was cast out of God's â—ight and what was the meaning of his looking again toward the holy Temple I â—hewed what may befal many that God may yet be working Grace in and have designs of eminent Good unto First They may be in a State of Blindness and Darkness yea thick and gross Darkness may be a great while upon them We read in the Gospel of a Man that was stark Blind that was born so and liv'd so all his days yet by the Povver of Jesus he immediately receiv'd his sight Mark 10.51 52. Ah! present Darkness is no ground of Despair you may see vvhat God in his Word says to such Isa 50.10 Who is among you that feareth the Lord that â—eyeth the voice of his Servant that walketh 〈◊〉 Darkness and hath no light Let him â—ust in the Name of the Lord and stay upon â—…s God Here is a certain Remedy for nose that are in Darkness to stay upon their God and here is a Duty that God requires even in a dark State to trust in his Name Secondly They may be as to their own Apprehension in a very hopeless and helpless Condition but yet even then there is both Hope and Help for them by looking toward the holy Temple that is by looking to Christ and believing what he is and what he says Oh! hear that sweet word flowing from his Lips Luke 4.18 The Spirit of the Lord is upon me because he hath anointed me to preach the Gospel to the Poor he hath sent me to heal the broken-hearted to preach Deliverance to the Captives and recovering of sight to the Blind to set at liberty them that are bruised Oh! What can be more fully and plainly expressed What can Christ speak more comfortably and more encouragingly to poor wounded Souls to look unto him Thus the Church by Faith look'd to God in a sad State Lam. 3.55 I called upon thy Name O Lord out of the low Dungeon And did she call or believe in vain Oh! No. Pray mark the next words Verse 56 57 58. Thou hast heard my voice hide not thine Ear at my breathing at my Cry Thou drewest near in the day that I called upon thee Thou saidst Fear not O Lord thou hast pleaded the cause of my Soul thou hast Redeemed my Life And what the Church did here experience all afflicted ones in like manner shall experience to their unspeakable Joy if they take the same course of looking to the Lord in the day of Trouble Thirdly They may have no Sense of God's Work in their Hearts which yet for all that may be really carrying on We read of the Peoples smiting their Breasts upon the doleful sight of Christ's Agony on the Cross Luke 23.48 But many poor Souls are smiting their Breasts with Sorrow because they can find no effect of Christ's Death in their Hearts They have not yet Taâ—ed that the Lord is Gracious 1 Pet. 2.8 And therefore they are breaking forth into hideous Lamentations and giving up themselves as lost Creatures Oh! but this is through a great Mistake there may be a blessed Work a glorious Work begun and yet you not at present sensible of it Fourthly They may be in their own Thoughts without the inâ—â—…ential Motion of God's Spirit And hence they are day and night â—ourning though still preserved and not consumed as the built was Exod. 3.3 Oh! how many do look upon themselves in no better a Condition than those dry Bones which God shewed the Prophet and ask'd him whether they could live Ezek. 37.3 4. But as these Bones the forsaken Jews will live when the Spirit of the Lord blows upon them so those Creatures that are at present dry and vvithout Sap and therefore are mourning in secret and crying out bitterly because of their desolate State shall most certainly if they look toward the holy Temple as Jonah here did find and feel after a little time the vivifying Influences of God's Spirit to their exceeding Joy and Comfort I then drew some Inferences from all this which I will make a brief Rehearsal of and so proceed First Then even in such a State we are not really out of God's sight Jonah was obvious to God when he was shut up in the Whales Belly and so is every Mourning Soul though under the blackest Circumstances Hear the Apostle as to this Heb. 4.13 Neither is there any Creature that is not manifest in his sight but all things are naked and opened unto the Eyes of him with whom we have to do Not a Tear flows from our Eyes not a Sigh or Sob comes from our Hearts though in never so secret a manner in never so retired a place but is naked and open unto God Christ told Nathaniel John 1.48 When thou wast under the Fig-tree I saw thee Ah! When any poor Creature is Weeping Lamenting and Bemoaning himself in Holes and Corners even then and there God sees him Secondly Oh! Then this State is the Will of God which must be submitted to Is there any Evil in the City and the Lord has not done it Jonah being in the Whales Belly was the Act of God God put him there So whatever Mourning State thou art in it is the Lord 's doing As Christ speaking of God's Gracious Revelation of Gospel-Light and Knowledge rather to Babes than to the Wise and Learned resolves it into God's Free-Will and distinguishing Goodness as the only moving cause thereof Matt. 11.26 Even so Father for so it seemed good in thy sight So should every poor Creature under the pressure of Temptation under Spiritual Conflict and Soul-trouble say Even so Father it is thy Will it should be so It hath seemed good unto thee thus to lay thy hand upon me and therefore come to this â—â—sult under such a Dispensation with 〈◊〉 dear Redeemer John 18.11 The Cap which my Father hath given me shall I not drink it So this stroak that my Father has laid upon me shall I not bear it Thirdly Then such a State is very dreadful to poor Creatures To be under the hiding of God's Face and left to the Hurries of the Tempter is sadly terrifying and affrightning The Spirit of a Man may sustain his Infirmity but a wounded Spirit who can bear If it was a grievous thing to Abraham to send away his Son and the Bond-woman out of his House Gen. 21.11 12. Oh! How much more grievous is it to poor Creatures when their Rest is gone Peace is gone and all Quietness is gone from them In such a Perplexity was Jonah here in the Whales Belly And thus David mournfully complain'd Psalm 30.7 Thou didst hide thy Face and I was troubled 'T is not a small but a very sore great tormenting Trouble when a Soul is left in the Dark
which as yet is none of the softest like the Babe in Elisabeth's Womb leap within me for Joy This indeed indeared you very much to me and set me a Longing to be partaker of your Heavenly Gift and though I had several Letters from several Persons that spake very largely of you and the wonderful Things God did by you and that at such a Rate if I had not known them to be Men of Sobriety Faithfulness and eminent Piety I should certainly have Judg'd they had flown in their Language above the Capacity of an Hyperbole to bring 'em safely off yet early at my Return when I went my self to Chichester and saw the unusual Seriousness of the vast Auditory and the extraordinary Going forth of your Spirit both in Prayer and Preaching I was strangely amazed and forc'd to say with the Queen of Sheba The half of your deserved Fame was not told me and made this Remark in my own Breast There was no such Sight to be seen any where in our Israel and therefore left others to consider of it and speak their Minds And if the Lord goes on as he has graciously and wonderfully begun Chichester will be the Place of Religion in the South of England and we may take in the rest of the Points of the Compass Verily you have or rather the Great Jehovah by you lighted such a Candle there that the Enemies of Free-Grace with all their Tricks and Artifices with all their Growling and Grumbling with all their Lying and Slandering with all their Noise and Clamour yea with all their Cunning and Priest-craft will never be able to put out for Magna est veritas prevalebit Dagon must and shall fall before the Ark of the Living God Dear Brother I am in a large Field whilst I have your noble Chichesterian Acts under review which will be for ever your Praise in the Gates of the Daughter of Zion and your Eternal Rejoycing in the day of the Lord Jesus and so very large is this Field that I despair of finding the way out and therefore must be forc'd to stand still breaking forth in the Apostle's Admiration O the Depth of the Riches both of the Wisdom and Knowledge of God how unsearchable are his Judgments and how are his Ways past finding out Or taking up the Dictates of the Holy Spirit in the Mouth of Balaam According to this time it shall be said of Jacob and of Israel Ay and now of Chichester too what has God wrought And though you did good even beyond Conception very much good even beyond Parallel whilst these Parts were Blessed with your Presence yet really the Good by way of Emphasis and which will be the most Sparkling Jewel in the Crown wherewith your Master will crown you in the Day of his Appearing was your speaking Peace to this Blessed Saint whose Sad Life is the Subject of the following Tract You were chosen out by the Lord of the Harvest and preferr'd before any of his Labourers to bring a Message of Peace and Comfort to her drooping Soul great Pains were used and many Essays made to effect a Cure upon her but alas all in vain No Words were wanting no Labour was spared no Gospel ways untryed for the easing her distressed Mind but all to no purpose If Prayers and Tears if publick and private Wrestlings with God if setting a-part Solemn Days if the spending part of many Nights if communicating of Experiences if opening and inculcating of the Promises if frequent Visits and labouring all manner of ways with her What shall I say If imparting the very Secrets of my Soul and all the Mysteries and Wonders of Grace my Gracious God ever made known to me in his Christ had any thing availed she had not been in those Shades of Horrid Darkness you found her For I can say in all Sincerity as Paul to the Corinthians My Mouth was opened my Heart was enlarged towards her Oh! how often did my Soul Mourn in Secret because I could not help her How many Tears did I shed in private because no words I spoke could take hold on her I was too unworthy of such an Honour My Poor Labours through the Influence of a Divine Blessing awakened her out of a Natural State but Success was denied to my Endeavours how great soever to Administer any Ease or Comfort That was your alotted Task by him with whom is the Residue of the Spirit Oh! to this end were you Born and for this cause came you unto Chichester to bear Witness unto the Truth to Gospel-truth Light and special Grace for the lifting up this Dear Languishing Soul who would not see who could not believe there was any Love or Redeeming Mercy for her till it was confirmed to her from your Lips then she saw the Beauty of the Lord as the Morning and the Glory of Jehovah her Righteousness as the Noon-day There was indeed before a Wind a Gale of Gospel-Truths that continually blew upon her but the Lord was not in the Wind There was a Fire of Zeal kindled in the Breasts of Ministers and many others always flaming in her Bosom but the Lord was not in the Fire and therefore though there was Balm enough fetch'd from Gilead and applied to her Wounds yet this Sorrowful Daughter of Jerusalem was not Healed till you came and God came with you as a Welcome Messenger of Salvation Then Oh! then the Son of Righteousness arose with Healing in his Wings in the Horizon of her Soul Then did the day break and the Shadows began to fly away and then did her Beloved come leaping over the Mountains and skipping over the Hills unto her Oh! Happy was the time wherein you first saw her and Blessed was the day in which it was told her Behold there is a Watch-man of the Lord 's sending a Work-man of the Lord 's preparing go and hear what he has to say to you As the Lord's way of Judgment so his ways of Mercy are in the Deep and his Footsteps coming towards a Poor Creature for Good and Comfort are not known So far am I from the Mode of this Generation to envy you or repine that you should do that in a few days which I could not do in many Months that the Lord knows I Love Honour Prize and Value you the more for it and you are much dearer to me since than ever you were before To you therefore I dedicate this short History of her Life and Death as that which of right belongs to you You knew her and was well known to her You pittied her in her doleful Agonies and took a great deal of Pains with her to help her out of the Deep Pit into which she was so horribly sunk The Lord reward you yea he will abundantly reward you for all your great Labour of Love to her precious Soul You were very high in her Esteem and exceeding Dear she never spoke of you but with wonderful Respect heartily
blessing God for you You had the Satisfaction to see her in her latest Hours the very night she died which was a great Comfort to her Friends and though she was under a Cloud at that Moment yet a little after you left her the Cloud was dispell'd and she was in a Transport of Glory and went to Heaven in a Chariot of Triumph She had Beauty for Ashes the Oil of Joy for Mourning the Garment of Praise for the Spirit of Heaviness and she is now a Tree of Righteousness the Planting of the Lord that he may be for ever Glorified in the aboundant Riches of his Grace and Mercy towards her and with whom she is and ever will be glorified to all Eternity And now my Dear my very Dear Brother I hope your Candid Eye will overlook the many Imperfections of these Scribbling Lines and cover with the Mantle of Charity what you see amiss in the subsequent Tract And I hope also none will be so unjust to entitle you to the Weaknesses and Impertinencies appearing therein because your Name is inscribed to it The good Lord increase your eminent Gifts add to your Matchless Zeal inflame your ardent Love that you may Shine more and more in Doctrine and Conversation till you are call'd to Shine in the Celestial Constellation above and till after all your Pious Endeavours and Faithful Labours in your Lord's Vineyard you hear that Blessed Sound from your Lord's Lips whose Mouth is most comfortably Sweet in the day of Grace and will be ravishingly so in the day of Glory Well done Good and Faithful Servant thou hast been Faithful over a few things I will make thee Ruler over many things enter thou into thy Master's Joy Go on as you have begun through the good Hand of your God upon you in the Power and Spirit of Elias to turn the Hearts of the Fathers to the Children that is to inflame the Hearts of Parents with a Desire and Longing after the Salvation of their Children And the Disobedient to the Wisdom of the Just that is Those who have stood out against Gospel-Light and Truth Now to see that closing with Christ in a Gospel-way and to seek to be made Righteous by an imputed Righteousness is the only Spiritual Wisdom And to make ready a People prepared for the Lord that is To Convince People that they are Lost and Undone in themselves and to perswade them without looking for any previous Qualifications to cast their naked Souls before the Lord Jesus to be cloathed upon with his Righteousness which only must be their Happiness if ever they are made Happy So committing you to the Protection of our Dear Redeemer in whom I desire to be esteemed as unfeignedly I am Your most Affectionate though unworthy Brother C. Nicholetts TO THE New-gather'd Church of Christ according to the Gospel-Order in Chichester Grace Mercy and Peace from God our Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ Beloved Friends AS I with all the People of God in these Parts did Rejoyce in and heartily Congratulate your Associating together in the Bond and Fellowship of the Gospel so we fervently Pray this lively Beginning with such ardent Zeal Courage and Faithfulness to the Interest of your and our Lord and Master may have a Prosperous Progression in your building up in the way of Holiness and Righteousness that you may abound more and more in every Good Work and be to the Praise of his Grace who has called you out of Darkness into this marvelous Light It was very delightful to us to hear that you the Children of Judah did go in good earnest Weeping as you went to seek the Lord your God with your whole Heart and with your whole Soul and that you did ask the way to Zion with your Faces thither-ward and did unanimously say one to another Come and let us joyn our selves to the Lord in a perpetual Covenant that shall not be forgotten And accordingly did enter into a Solemn Covenant to live and walk together as Brethren in the Rule and Order of the Gospel and that under the strictest Obligation to obey all the Precepts and to rely upon all the Promises thereof You gave your selves first unto the Lord and then to one another by the Will of God which Coalition I think was of God Did I say I think so Pray give me that word back again and I will give you a better in the room of it I know and am well assured it was of God and have stronger Reasons to produce when called thereunto for my Confidence than the fiercest of your Opposers how Learned soever they may think themselves can answer One reason is this and it is such an one as all but Atheists will acknowledge to have weight in it God so far owning you and so signally honouring you in your first waiting upon the Lord at his Table in a Church-State as to shine down from between the Cherubims amongst you on this Precious I had almost said Peerless Saint this young Daughter of Abraham whose Life is under review who was one of you giving up her self to God in the same Covenant with you at the very time of which she saw that Light she never beheld before It was on your Shoar this fluttering Dove first found a place to rest the Sole of her Foot it was from the Mount of your Moriah this abject Daughter of Zion first pluck'd an Olive-branch of Peace and brought it in her Mouth She departed from us to you a Mara she came back from you to us a Naomi she went out empty but returned full and at her return she had Peace in the inward and Joy did shine in the Face of her outward Man whilst she was with us she was Sowing in Tears with you was her Harvest of Comfort and she returned with great Rejoycing bringing her Sheaves with her Now as Manoah's Wife argued in another Case If the Lord were pleased to kill us he would not have received a Burnt-offering and a Meat-offering at our Hands neither would he have shewed us all these things nor would as at this time have told us such things as these So I may argue in this If God was displeased with you or if you were out of God's way If the Fervor of your Zeal was mingled with the Leaven of Spleen and Prejudice if you were influenced to this Imbodying by Church-dividing Principles I say if any of these things much more if all these things were so as your Adversaries with more Spite than Reason with more Malice than shew of Truth do alledge against you Would God have so filled your first Assembling with the Glory of his Presence as to bruise Satan under the Feet of this dejected Damsel that had been so long Rampant in her and to speak effectual Peace to her down-cast Soul who since the hour of her first Conviction never knew what a Moments Peace was before Now he that can infer a wrong way or God's
came to my House but in the way of a complemental Visit and that seldom or never alone so that I never had opportunity of serious discoursing with her I always beheld her as our Saviour did Jerusalem with a Mournful Eye even ready to Weep over her as looking upon her in the broad way to Ruin and Destruction and one to whom the Judgments threatned in the Third of Isaiah did as properly belong as to any Person that ever I knew She was well vers'd in worldly things in worldly Fashions in worldly Customs in worldly Pastimes but in the things of God she was as ignorant as a Ninevite she knew not her right hand from her left and as little likely to be wrought upon by the Word as any Person that ever sat under it for her Eyes were rowling about to spy who was in the finest Dress or who had the newest-fashion'd Cloaths But that the Efficacy of the Spirit of God is irresistable and the Influence of Divine Grace immensely powerful one would think it utterly impossible that such a sorry piece of Carnality as this young Woman was and that in every respect did manifest her self to be should ever be savingly wrought upon or that such an amazing and most wonderful Change as afterward to the view of all appear'd should ever be made in her And the old Adagy in Israel Is Saul also among the Prophets was not more remarkable than that Mrs. Mary Harrison is now among the true Spiritual Mourners was wonderful to all that before knew her And therefore you are now to prepare your Eyes to behold what you will find writ in legible Characters and your Ears to harken to what you will hear sounding in a Charming Dialect the amazing Stories of the Wonders of Grace in the thorough and effectual Conversion of this young Damsel this Virgin-Daughter of Abraham who by the mighty Power of the Lord of Hosts was brought out of most Horrid Darkness into the beautiful Light of Jehovah And after a wearied Conflict with the Tempter passing through many Pains and Sorrows through many Fears and Doubts through many doleful Troubles and Heart-breaking Agonies whilst in the Bondage of Corruption was at last delivered into the Glorious Liberty of the Children of God The first News I heard of her awakening was in February 1697. A Good Woman of my Church came to my House late at night with shew of some more than ordinary Tydings in the Form of her Countenance she desired to speak with me in my Study where we were no sooner sat down but she told me in a Melancholy Tone Mrs. Mary Harrison was in deep Despair and requested me immediately to repair to her Whether Mrs. Mary sent her or she came of her own head I do not remember I want words to tell you how exceedingly I was surpriz'd at this unexpected News I replied It was then late and as I thought unseasonable to give her a Visit and the next day I was unavoidably engaged in a Journey which I could by no means put off but at my return would not fail to be with her if the Lord pleased With this Answer I dismis'd the Messenger after whose departure I began seriously to revolve in my Mind the Strangeness of the Relation What! thought I Mrs. Mary Harrison a proud vain ignorant Creature in Despair about her Soul Sure this is some Mistake for I thought as strange of it as Thomas did of his Master's Resurrection and was ready to say with him Except I shall see in his hands the Print of the Nails and put my Finger into the Print of the Nails and thrust my hand into his side I will not believe So thought I except I hear it from her own Mouth and see cause by proper Actions and suitable Expressions to judge the thing real I will not I cannot believe it Indeed Ananias was not more backward to give Credit to the Conversion of Saul than I was to any such Change in her for as he argued in defence of his Incredulity Lord I have heard by many of this Man how much evil he hath done to thy Saints at Jerusalem And here he hath Authority from the Chief Priests to bind all that call on thy Name And can such a Man be so chang'd on a sudden Ah! How dull are the best of Men in believing the Wonders of Free Grace So was I saying to my self I have heard by many yea by her own Mother of this young Woman that she was mightily puffed up with Pride and of the things of the Gospel extreamly ignorant and I never heard any body speak of her being inclin'd in the least to any thing that is good and now full of Horror about Eternity now concerned even to Despair about her Immortal Soul How or from whence can this sudden this unaccountable Change be I must confess to my Shame I did not know what to think of it and could scarce give this Report any Entertainment especially such a Welcome one as a true one of this nature deserves in the retiring Room of my Heart However though I did not that night speak to her I spoke for her and spread that unintelligible and indeed almost incredible Account I had received before the Lord and fervently begg'd if there were not that there might be something in it that it might be the Lord's time to open her blind Eyes to break her hard Heart to enliven her dead Soul and breathe into her the Breath of Life The morrow according to appointment I went my Journey but could not get her out of my Thoughts neither on the Road nor at the Place where I was whatever Company I was in or whatever Business I was about my Mind still ran on Mrs. Mary Harrison I purposely hasted my return home much longing to see her and to be satisfied how it was with her whether there were indeed any Breathings in her Heart any Sense in her Soul any Apprehension of her present Misery or a future Eternity and from what ground this Sense arose and what Operation it had in her Inward Man As soon therefore as I came home even before I pull'd off my Boots I went to her and found her in her Chamber alone sitting in a very disconsolate Posture her Face clouded her Eyes cast down and her Physiognomy so miserably altered that I could not but call to mind that of the Poet Qui color albus erat nunc est contrarius albo After Salutations I sat down by her and enquired into her Case demanding What made her look so Melancholly and seclude her self from Company She replied She had reason enough to be Melancholly for that she was one of the Lost Persons from whom the Gospel was hid I had a little before at the desire of a Godly Friend preach'd two Sermons on 2 Cor. 4.3 But if our Gospel be hid it is hid to them that are lost Which the Lord bless'd with Success to more than
Heart with Compunction in my bleeding Soul that she would compose her self and fix her mind to look up to the Lord and with her Eyes to have respect to the Holy one of Israel who would help her and that with the saving Aid of his right hand if she would believe in him who would comfort her and that with the ravishing Comforts of his blessed Spirit if she would cast her self upon him Minding her in way of Paraphrase what Moses said to Israel There is none like unto the God of Jeshurun who rideth upon the Heaven in thy help and in his Excellency on the Sky The Eternal God is thy refuse and underneath are the everlasting Arms and he shall thrust out the Enemy from before thee and shall say destroy them That Enemy said I who is now so exceeding rampant in you who is now so maliciously affrightning and terrifying you with the Sense of Hell and Wrath which yet will never be your Portion this very Enemy God will thrust out from you yea this envious Satan that does you now so much Mischief the God of Peace will most assuredly bruise under your Feet shortly and then you shall dwell in Safety alone the Enemy shall no more trouble you nor be perplexing of you And your Fountain shall be upon a Land of Corn and Wine Also his Heavens shall drop down Dew that is the Doctrine and Graces of the Gospel the Spirit of the Lord Jesus breathing therein shall drop down in a Soul-reviving Soul-refreshing yea in a Soul-ravishing manner upon you And then You shall grow as the Lilly and cast forth your Root as Lebanon your Branches shall spread and your Beauty shall be as the Olive-tree and your Smell as Lebanon And then thus dwelling under his Shadow you shall return you shall revive as the Corn and grow as the Vine and your Scent shall be as the Wine of Lebanon And then Oh then you will be an happy a thrice happy Virgin in our Israel And who will be like unto you though now a distressed Maid yet then Saved by the Lord. Who will awake for you as one awaketh out of sleep and as a mighty Man that shouteth by reason of Wine And will deliver you out of the hand of your present Tormentor who will be the Shield of your help and the Sword of your Excellency And the Enemy of your Salvation who is now Suggesting many uncomfortable and most false things to you whereby you are so lamentably disquieted in your Spirit even to Distraction will then be found as he is and as from the beginning he has been a Liar to you And you shall tread upon high places and so be infinitely above the reach of all his fiery Darts that not one of them shall sting or hurt you any more for ever But alas all that I spake or all that any could speak to this purpose was but like the weak Trajans casting their feeble Arrows at the Conquering Grecians wholly in vain I could not in the least allay her Grief or asswage the Torrent of her violent Passion which was at the greatest height I ever beheld in any Creature before I knew not how to leave her in the horrible Pit in the miry Clay of such Soul-tormenting Distress and yet I plainly discern'd it was to no purpose to stay with her so outragious was her Grief and so beyond all bounds of Moderation was her Sorrow Horror and most dreadful Despair had such a powerful Ascendant on her that her poor Heart was like to break yea she was even ready to dye for fear of Eternal dying Oh! how was this tender Lamb in Zion rufully afraid because of her Sins which were set in order before her and continually staring her in the Face How did amazing Fearfulness lamentably surprize her in the awful sense of dwelling with the devouring Fire that can never be put out and in the doleful Apprehension of rowling upon those Pillars of everlasting Flames that never will cease burning Verily had she seen with her Eyes the Sulphurous Torches had she heard with her Ears the dismal Groans of the Damned yea had she actually felt the very Torments those endure who are surrounded with horrid Mists of Darkness in the Eternal Shades below she could hardly express her self in a more dolorous in a more grievous manner than she did such Heart-melting such Soul-piercing Complaints such a mournful crying our of a lost State of a barren Mind of a Certainty of being Damned never sounded at least in my Ears before I had much ado to perswade her to a Composedness till I went to Prayer with her in which Duty I pleaded with the Lord according to the measure of the Spirit given me for her that the sounding of his Bowels of Pitty and Compassion might be moved towards her that he would Graciously hear this Dejected Creature as he did Ephraim bemoaning of her self in his very words I am ashamed yea even Confounded to bear the Reproach of my Youth And that he would say of her as he did of him Is Ephraim my dear Son is he a pleasant Child for since I spake against him I do earnestly remember him still therefore my Bowels are troubled for him and I will surely have Mercy upon him saith the Lord. When I concluded Prayer I took a very sorrowful leave of her being towards Morning 'T is said For the Divisions of Reuben there were great thoughts of heart And again For the Divisions of Reuben there were great Searchings of heart I am sure for the Spiritual Troubles for the Despairing Sorrow of this young Gentlewoman there were great Thoughts and Searchings of Heart great Distress and Anxiety of Mind both by me and many others And truly we were and we could not but be between Hope and Fear about her We would fain hope the Lord design'd Love and Mercy to her precious Soul notwithstanding the many bitter and grievous things he wrote against her and the great and fearful Trials she was exercised with but then the strangeness the unparallell'dness of her Grief the intollerable Heaviness and Weight of that Burthen she groaned under the apparent Prevalency of the Tempter over her for she seemed to be wholly in his Clutches and above all the woful and most horrible uninterrupted Despairingness of her Language for I know not how long time together gave a little Check to those Hopes we were willing to retain and made too much room for Fear and Doubts in our Thoughts concerning her Indeed we were all at our Wits end and could not tell what to think or say of her For my part I can truly say her Case took up my whole time I could hardly mind any thing else Day and Night were my Thoughts busily imploy'd what course to take for her or what means to use that might be of avail to her And after many Wrestlings with Sighs and Groans unto God in her behalf and revolving many things in my perplexed
more such extream Fits of Agony after this day or that she broke forth into such direful Exclamations and Lamentations as she did before Which made me heartily bless God both publickly and privately for the beginning of his Appearance though it was but in a restraining way that though she had not that solid Comfort and inward Peace which I did unfeignedly wish her and sincerely without ceasing begg'd for her yet she had much greater ease with respect to her Burthen under which she had so long a time groaned and was not tortured with those griping and Soul-tormenting Pangs as frequently in days and months past she had been In this middle State as I may say which as to her was neither clear nor dark neither day nor night but something between both she remain'd several Weeks in which time I frequently went to her as my other occasions would admit but she very often came to me earnestly desiring me to pitty her and pray for her but would never go away till I had pray'd with her Her Discourse was grave and moderate yet always in a complaining Strain Lamenting 〈◊〉 absence of God and bitterly crying out of her hard deceitful Heart As Winter came on she grew more and more Melancholy yet the Fire of her Sorrow was confin'd to and pent up in the Hearth of her own Breast and burned inwardly to the great decaying both of her outward and inward Man and manifested it self only by the Sparkles of some woful Sighs and Sobs arising from her Heart that could not possibly be kept down Oh! With what languishing and pitty-bespeaking Eyes did she look upon me How mournfully and in a low still Voice would she say to me Ah! Sir you know not how it is with me I am a great deal worse and in a much sadder Condition than you can imagine This doubled my Concernedness for her and put my Spirit upon the Rack in musing for her What thought I come into the Harbor ready to drop Anchor and yet forced again to Sea upon the main Ocean to be tossed with these impetuous Waves I spoke as the Lord inabled me whatever words he put in my Mouth unto â—er I pray'd again and again from time to time with her I Wept and made Supplication to my God for her but no Alteration for the better could I see in her for the Comforter was not yet come Therefore was she again Weeping and her Eyes running down with Tears therefore was she crying in the Morning and bemoaning her self in the Evening because he that alone could relieve her Soul was far from her and because the things that belong'd to her Peace were as yet hid from her Eyes Two things I confess in this interim run in my mind that were a great Support to me under my unfeigned Trouble and Anxiety for her The one was that the Holy God who is above the reach of Angels in his doings who giveth no account to Creatures in Heaven or Earth of any of his Matters for Reasons and Ends best known to himself would convey Comfort to her from some other hand I was not to be the Person The other was That this might be the last Effort of the Tempter and that he was come down in the greater Wrath because he knew he had but a short time to be Disquieting and Perplexing the Soul of this tender Lamb. And I was not deceived in either of them as the sequel will shew For my Occasions calling me about that time to London where as soon as I came meeting with that truly eminent and excellent Servant of the Lord Jesus Mr. Richard Robins he told me he had received a pressing Invitation to begin the Work of God in the new Erected Meeting-house at Chichester and was accordingly preparing for his Journey and earnestly importun'd me to supply his place in his absence I yielded on this Condition that he would go one Sabbath to Havant that so my own dear People might not be wholly destitute during my stay at London which I foresaw would be two or three Weeks to which he consenting on these terms we parted And after he had been one Lord's-day at Chichester he according to his Promise went the next to Havant and a blessed going it was for now no longer poor but rich Mrs. Mary Harrison For then by his Ministry through the Gracious Concurrence of the Spirit of God what was said of old to Israel was abundantly made good to her in full measure yea running over Ezek. 16.6 And when I passed by thee and saw thee polluted in thy own Blood I said unto thee when thou wast in thy Blood Live Yea I said unto thee when thou wast in thy Blood Live God now so saw her as to pitty her and so pittied her as to speak yea he spake loud and home by his Servant to her and by the Power of that Word not only sounding in her Ears but through the mighty Efficacy of it reaching her Heart and piercing into her very Soul he made her Live He at that time For the time to favour this Captive Daughter of Zion yea the set time was come breath'd into her that Life which in the Inchoation of it was Spiritual and in the Perfection of it is now Eternal So again v. 7. I have caused thee to multiply as the bud of the Field and thou hast increased and waxen great and thou art come to excellent Ornaments thy Breasts are fashioned and thy Hair is grown whereas thou wast naked and bare Oh! verily she that was as a dry Plant as a withered and dead Tree began now to bring forth Fruit as A Tree planted by the Rivers of Waters even the Tree that is full of Sap one of those Cedars of Lebanon which God hath planted She that was so little so nothing in her own Eyes received now thorough the Golden Pipes of Grace emptying themselves into her Soul some Life and Strength and began to increase in that Strength She that before could not in the least taste or savor any word that one and another of the Servants of the living God was continually speaking to her had now her Breasts fashioned to receive and let in the sincere Milk of the Word which now was precious to her and more esteemed by her than her necessary food She whose Thoughts before were desperate being of nothing but Destruction and Perdition and of being miserable for ever could now joyfully think of the Love of God in Christ and apply it to her self Thus through the infinite Riches of Free Grace to her her Hair began to grovv she vvho before savv and could see nothing else and therefore deeply bevvail'd her self as naked and bare novv began the Scales falling from her Eyes to apprehend the Righteousness of a Mediator and to have a comfortable Sense thereof as most excellent Ornaments for her reviving Soul And novv she savv and seeing believed that being Cloathed upon with that House which is from
Heaven she should not be found naked Yet again V. 8. Now when I passed by thee and looked upon thee Behold thy time was the time of Love and I spread my skirt over thee and covered thy nakedness Yea I sware unto thee and entred into a Covenant with thee saith the Lord God and thou becamest mine Oh! verily Novv vvas the time of Love as to her Soul Novv vvas the Holy Jesus coming tovvards her his Face shining vvith the resplendent Beauty of Gospel-Grace and Love saying to her I am thy Saviour and thou art in the number of my Redeemed ones I vvill cover thee vvith the Glorious Robe of my Everlasting Righteousness and thou shalt appear therein without Spot or Wrinkle before my Father and before the Holy Angels Therefore cease thy Grief dry up thy Tears For though thou hast lien among the Pots yet now thou shalt be as the Wings of a Dove covered with Silver and her Feathers with yellow Gold And novv thou shalt knovv that I have loved thee with an everlasting Love for with loving-kindness will I draw thee Mr. Robins as though he had been as I doubt not but he vvas specially directed from above preached that day from these vvords Luke 22.31 32. And the Lord said Simon Simon Behold Satan hath desired to have you that he may sift you as Wheat But I have prayed for thee that thy Faith fail not Which he so managed through the assistance of God's Spirit and brought so many Gospel-Cordials and Comforts from it as gave abundant satisfaction to this languishing Mourner insomuch that her Sorrovvs like the Waters of the Flood apparently vvere abated and her long Captivity seem'd to be turning about as the Rivers of the South She vvas so sensible that this Holy Man vvas a Messenger sent of God to her an Interpreter one among a thousand to shew unto her the Ransom God has found and accepted for poor Sinners and for her in particular and to declare the glad Tidings of Salvation to her Soul resulting from therein that she immediately repaired to Chichester and attended upon the Word dropping from Mr. Robins his Lips during his stay there Mr. Robins after a little time planted a Church there such an amazing Change was wrought on many by the mighty Power of God accompanying his Ministerial Labours and this Plant God has since abundantly water'd with the Dew of his Blessing so that 't is now as the Garden of God the pleasant Field which the Lord of Hosts delights to bless Mrs. Mary Harrison after frequent Conferences with Mr. Robins and being enlightned by him in the Mystery of Gospel-Grace and Love joyn'd her self with the Church and sate down at the Table with them at their first Solemnity of breaking Bread yet on this Condition to be redismiss'd to the Church at Havant when they were Organically compleated and so in a Capacity to do it But before this could be effected she was translated to a better Church than either even To the General Assembly and Church of the First-born which are in Possession of the Glorious Mansions of Heaven And to the Spirits of Just Men made Perfect among whom she is and ever will be with her God In whose presence there is fulness of Joy and at whose right-hand there are Pleasures for evermore Glad was I yea my very Soul rejoyced at my return from London to find such an amazing Change in her for now she could speak in the Language of Canaan now she could discourse in the Dialect of the new Jerusalem praising the Lord for his Redeeming Goodness Now she could tell her Lips being opened in a wonderful manner the delightful Stories of God's marvelous Dispensations towards her in a way of special Grace and Favour for now she saw in part and that part filled her with inexpressible Comfort The Good of God's Chosen Now in spite of all Satan's Suggestions and Hellish Machinations she could rejoyce in the Gladness of God's Nation And now notwithstanding the late Cloud that was upon her the late darkening Eclipse that quite overspread her she could Glory with God's Inheritance For now she heard the Voice of her Beloved speaking to her Cant. 2.10 11 12. Rise up my Love my fair one and come away For lo the Winter is past the Rain is over and gone The Flowers appear on the Earth the time of the singing of Birds is come and the voice of the Turtle is heard in our Land Oh! then Arise my Love my fair one and come away Again Verse 14. O my Dove that art in the Clefts of the Rock that is hid in the Eternal Electing Love of God in the secret places of the Stairs that is kept secretly from sinking though wofully tossed with the Waves and Billows of Temptation Let me see thy Countenance let me hear thy Voice for sweet is thy Voice and thy Countenance is comely And therefore Now we that were mournfully bemoaning of her rejoyced with her yea with loud Peals of Joy blessed and praised God for her Yet she had her Ebbings as well as Flowings and Fears as well as Comforts after this And her Discourses were very often mixed with Mistrustings and Doubtings of her self She had now and then the dark side as well as the bright side of the Cloud to shew that she was not yet beyond the reach of Satan's Snarlings though above the force of his rampant Power Hence to her dying hour she serv'd the Lord with Fear and rejoyced before him with Trembling She always had a Dread upon her Spirit of miscarrying under which I laboured what I could to support her A little after Mr. Robins left Chichester came down that Sweet and most Spiritual Preacher Mr. Hammond to the new Meeting-house at which juncture of time I was confined to my Bed by a severe Fit of Sickness which I and so did others thought had been unto Death But my Gracious God in whose Hands our times are order'd it otherwise Now by reason I was wholly uncapable of Preaching most of my People that had Horses went to Chichester to hear Mr. Hammond among whom precious Mrs. Mary Harrison was none of the backwardest But Oh! with what wonderful Refreshing and enlivening in her Inward Man did she return She presently come to my Bed-side and told me what a rich Cordial she had that day which was so Comforting so Ravishing to her she was even ready to break forth into the Virgin Mary's Extasie My Soul doth magnifie the Lord and my Spirit hath rejoyced in God my Saviour For verily Jehovah regarded the low Estate of this Hand-maiden and he that is mighty did great things to her that day in putting such a Word of Comfort and Support in the Mouth of his dear Servant for her Oh! Holy is his Name Mr. Hammond was upon that Text Jer. 31.3 The Lord hath appeared of old unto me saying yea I have loved thee with an Everlasting Love therefore with Loving-kindness have I drawn thee
to day Now was her Head anointed with the Oyl of Joy and Gladness above most of her Fellow-Saints in such a State Now she was made to lye down in green Pastures and led beside the still Waters And now Oh! now after so much Fearfulness and Trembling had come upon her after such great and dreadful Horror had so long overwhelmed her her Soul was fully and perfectly restored and she set at liberty and that not only from the Suggestions of Satan whereby she was plunged for a time into a Gulph of Misery but from all the Evils Perils and Dangers in the Regions of Mortality which she had been so long burthened and lamentably afflicted with For Now was given to her the Wings of a Dove wherewith in a wonderful Swiftness and Celerity she flew up into the Mansions of Everlasting Glory At night when the Room was clear'd her Relations departed leaving her to her Repose little thinking or imagining her end had been so near she said to a sober Maid that staid and watch'd with her in an Extasie of Joy though with a quivering Voice I see my Saviour I have him in my Arms I know that my Redeemer Lives With which words she sweetly closed her Life and so shall I the Account of it with this earnest and unfeigned Wish Sic mihi contingat vivere Sicque mori Lord lett me live in this Saints high degree And let my Death like hers Triumphant be I will now give you her Picture drawn according to my weak Ability with a Sacred regard to Truth as to every Feature in it and though Strangers may not I am sure all the Houshold of Faith hereabouts will believe me because they knew her and therefore know that every thing I say of her is really true First She was under a thorough and most effectual Conviction her Wound was not Skin-deep but reach'd and pierc'd her very Heart yea her whole Heart was deeply afflicted I have rational Grounds for my Confidence in a erting that the Gaoler when He called for a Light and sprang in and came trembling and fell down before Paul and Silas Acts 16.29 Nor Mary Magdalen when she lay prostrate at her Saviour's Feet bitterly Weeping and Lamenting her self in the woful Sense of her Sinful State Luke 7.37 No nor Manasseh when his proud Heart was broken and his Soul bowed down with Pain and Anguish so that He humbled himself greatly before the God of his Fathers 2 Chron. 33.12 Were either of them for surely they could not be more thoroughly more effectually struck than this young Maiden was I have been with many very many in my time under very sharp Convictions in dreadful Soul-pain and Anguish under the woful Apprehension of their Lost State But I must leave this Solemn Testimony upon Record I never saw the like of her before She was and that for many Months together in the same Passion of Sorrow as Peter was at his Master's looking upon him on the Cock's Crowing when he went out and wept bitterly Luke 22.62 That is Abundantly out of great Grief and Anguish of Spirit God's look like Lightning terrify'd as Thunder His Voice did roar and broke her Heart in sunder Temptations great a long time she lay under Till Grace that Conquest made which truly was a Wonder Secondly Her Conviction was Operative and very effective to the gracious end God design'd it She was in the Fire in the scorching flaming Fire but God for his Names-sake did defer his Anger yea for his Praise he did refrain for her that he might not cut her off but Behâ—ld he refined her but not with Silver he chose her in the Furnace of Affliction Isa 48.19 The heavy Rod upon her had a Voice laudable and intelligible to some round about her though not at present to her self And it spoke the Language we find V. 17. Thus saith the Lord thy Redeemer the holy one of Israel I am the Lord thy God which teacheth thee to profit which leadeth thee by the way that thou shouldest go Oh! this way of Temptation of Soul tribulation was the way the very way she must go God had so appointed and determined for her and he wonderfully made her to profit in and by this way 'T is true she too often and too much whilst she was in this way spake in the despairing Language of Cain My Punishment is greater than I can bear Gen. 4.13 And as Judas I have sinned Matt. 27.4 And lamentably roaring out with Francis Spira that she was a lost Creature and must perish for ever Yet God secretly upheld her and kept her from sinking to the bottom Though her Pangs and Pains were very violent even beyond what most ever knew yet they were kindly and in the Judgment of the Judicious helping forward the Birth which was last happily effected to the Praise of God her Comfort and the exceeding Joy of all that knew her Ah happy Damsel though thy Pains were great Angels were waiting to whipe off the Sweat Whilst that their Greatness did the Cure compleat Thy wounded Soul was healing in the burning Heat Thirdly Her Conviction was lasting and abiding there was no occasion as to her of that Complaint which God made of Ephraim and of Judah Hos 6.4 5. O Ephraim what shall I do unto thee O Judah what shall I do unto thee for your Goodness is as a morning Cloud and as the early dew it goeth away Therefore have I hewed them by the words of my mouth and thy Judgments are as the light that goeth forth After her first Throws came upon her they never left her till she had passed the New Birth and therefore there was no need of the Prophets hewing No we vvere forced to use and apply all the Comforts and Cordials vve could to support her under her continued and uninterrupted Agonies She never like Lot's Wife gave one look back after her alarming call to come out of the Streets of Sodom Above tvventy Months she remained day and night vvithout Intermission in a very disconsolate and mournful Condition yet in all this time she never went to the Assyrian or sent to King Jareb for help though she saw her Sickness and her Wound vvas very smarting she never sought Comfort by any indirect vvays according to the Inclination of the Flesh But did patiently though vvofully lamenting her self vvith a broken Heart and vvounded Soul abide at the Pool of Bethesda John 5.2 That is attended upon God's Word discourse vvith God's People vvholly sequestring her self from the World and all vain Company till the blessed Angel vvas sent to stir the Waters for her Poor Mourning Dove thy Grief did never cease From Sorrow's Bondage thou hadst no release Till Heaven was pleas'd to speak effectual Peace Oh! then and not before thy tortur'd Soul had ease Fourthly As she was a constant Mourner under Conviction so she was a secret Mourner always bemoaning her self by her self She would not Sit in any
musing on this matchless Saint I cry'd Thou being so wholly dreined from all Pride As one not fit here longer to abide Go to thy Bridegroom go thou true coelestial Bride Eighthly As after Conviction she was Mortify'd to all Pride so she did in a wonderful manner beyond any President I ever saw shine forth in the contrary Grace Humility She had learned of her Saviour to be meek and lowly in heart Mat. 11.29 And so excellent well she learned that none tabernacled in a Body of Flesh could have a more Debasing thought of Self than she had She sate with Job in the Ashes and with Hezekiah counted all her Prayers and the best of her Performances but as the chattering of a Crane or Swallow Isa 38.14 The Vilest of Creatures was her constant Motto That no body was Worse that every body was better than she was the undissembled Thought of her Heart When she was most Lovely in the Eyes of others she was even then most Mean in her own she could not bear to be in the least praised nor endure that any should speak well of her though she was enabled to Sing the Lord's Song on the Borders of Canaan after her return from a long Captivity Indeed in her languishing Condition she was made Humble by God's Providence but when she was Healed she was kept Humble by his blessed Spirit This Saint beholding great Jehovah's Face Her self as low as Hell she did debase Hence 't was she flourish'd so and grew apace She was the humble one replenish'd with all Grace Ninthly After Conviction she was in a Gospel Frame wholly moulded into the Spirit of the Gospel These Two eminent Servants of the Lord Jesus Mr. Robins and Mr. Hammond led her into the Paths of Gospel Light and Truth in which she was extreamly delighted so that the extolled and muâ—h magnified Mountain of Man's Righteousness and Legal Performances became 〈◊〉 a Plain and by their Ministry the Heâ—â—â—â—stone the Lord Jesus Christ was presented to her and she was inabled by the Spirit 's Breathing in her to cry out Grace Grace unto it Zech. 4.7 Hence though Interest and Relation with some other Obligations had intangled her with another sort of Men yet after her Acquaintance with those ' foresaid great Gospel Luminaries they were very little in her Eye for She was convinced not Doing but Believing was the way of the Gospel and that not by any Works of Righteousness she had done or could do but by the Free Grace of God in Christ she was made what she was And therefore the breathing of her Soul was to be found in him not having her own Righteousness which is of the Law but that which is through the Faith of Christ the Righteousness which is of God by Faith That thereby she might know Christ and the Power of his Resurrection and the Fellowship of his Sufferings being made conformable to his death Phil. 3.9.10 Oh! how her very Soul rejoyced in the glad Tidings of the Gospel This glorious Saint admiring Gospel Light Whose most corruscant Beams did shine so Bright Whereby her Darkness was expelled quite The Gospel brought a Day a Day that had no Night Tenthly After Conviction she was inflamed with Love to her dearest Jesus yea with the Spouse she was Sick of Love Cant. 5.8 As she had a Sense of the Forgiveness of Sins as Mary had she verily Loved much as Mary did Luke 7.47 She had a large Share of Gospel Grace as the choice Blessing of Heaven for she loved the Lord Jesus Christ in Sincerity Ephes 6.24 Tho she saw not Jesus with her Bodily Eyes yet she dearly Loved him and that Love has brought her to him so that now She sees Him and is Glorifyed with him Rejoycing with Joy unspeakable and full of Glory for she has now received the end of her Faith even the Salvation of her Soul 1 Pet. 1.8 9. What things were formerly her Gain those she counted Loss for Christ yea doubtless she counted all things but Loss for the excellency of the Knowledge of Christ Jesus her Lord for whom she suffered the Loss of all things and did count them but Dung or Dog's-meat that she might win Christ. 3 Phil. 7.8 Oh Love was the ruling Star in the Firmament of her Soul Though Satan for a while did cast a Mist Over this Saint at length she saw the Christ And seeing lov'd him as her precious Priest Now with his glorious Mouth her precious Soul is Kist. Eleventhly As after Conviction she Loved Christ so she lov'd the Ways of Christ the Ordinances of Christ the Members of Christ the Ministers of Christ and that with a pure Heart fervently If our Saviour's Character of a true Disciple holds good John 13.35 By this shall all men know that ye are my Disciples if ye have Love one to another And if John's Evidence of the new Birth be any thing valid 1 Epist 3.14 We know that we are passed from Death unto Life because we love the Brethren She was as visible a Disciple as real a Regenerate Person and that to the apparent view of all as 't was possible for any Creature to be For I sincerely think never any especially in these last days possest more of the Grace of Love than she did Her very Soul was wrapt up in the Saints Society with them was her greatest yea her only Delight She had David's Spirit and therefore could say with him Psalm 26.8 Lord I have loved the habitation of thy house and the place where thine honour dwelleth I the least and most unworthy of Saints may say of her as David did of Jonathan Her love to me was wonderful passing the love of Women This Saint who Heaven ward so fast did move That She a Saint in every thing might prove As actuated from a Spirit above Most gloriously did shine within the Sphere of Love Twelfthly After her Conviction that she had tasted of the Love of Christ she was extraordinarily Solicitous even with a burning Zeal for the Conversion of Sinners especially of her own carnal Relations Her warm Discourses on this Subject put me in mind of our Lord's Charge to Peter Luke 22.32 When thou art converted strengthen thy Brethren She was wholly of Paul's Spirit when he spoke so affectionately of the Jews Rom. 10.1 Brethren my Hearts desire and prayer to God for Israel is that they might be Saved Her Soul pittied such as were running head-long to Hell her Bowels yearned towards those that had no Sense of their own Condition She could not speak of any of her near Acquaintance in an Unconverted State without Weeping for them as our Saviour did for Jerusalem and with the same Pathetical Wish Oh! that they did truly know in this their day the things that belong unto their peace The Night before She Dyed or rather Translated she express'd her self to a Godly Woman passionately Concern'd for the Soul of her only Surviving Sister with these and more
said of himself Phil. 3. v. 20 21. Her Conversation or Trading and Commerce was in Heaven from whence also she look'd for the Saviour the Lord Jesus Christ Who will in the day of the Resurrection Change her vile Body or body of Vileness that it may be Fashioned like unto his Glorious Body according to the working whereby he is able to Subdue all things unto himself And where her Conversation was there her Commoration now is and will be so for ever What was once so delightful to her Soul during her abode on Earth She is now in the everlasting Possession of in Heaven in the New Jerusalem where she will be no more Tossed in the Tempestuous Sea vvhere the Waves and Billovvs of Temptation vvill no more pass over her for she novv dwells with God and God dwells with her and therefore all Tears are wiped from her eyes and she now will be no more Assaulted with the fear of Death Nor Rack'd with the Sense of Sorrow nor have any more cause of Crying out for ever For all these former things are passed away And she is seated and settled in that Kingdom which cannot be moved in that City which hath Foundations whose Builder and maker is God Novv Farevvel Farewel thou Triumphant Saint no more shall I be blessed with thy heart Reviving Company no more shall my Ears be charmed with thy heavenly Language no more vvill my Soul be delighted with thy divine Breathings thy Seraphick raptures no more will my study be perfumed with the Savour of that far richer that more Fragrant and Odoriferous Oyntment than thy elder Sister Mary brought to Anoynt her Saviours Body against his Burial no more shall thee and I go to Bethlehem to the mount of Vision no more shall I hear the Harmonious Melody of thy Sighs and Sobs when we were at the Throne of Grace together no more will my Frozen heart be warmed with the Sparkling Flame of thy ardent Zeal Oh! Wretch that I am that I minded no more that I Prized no more that I improved no more those invaluable hours I sometimes had with thee A Price was verily put into my Hands a rich Price a great Price an Unparellel'd Price to get and increase in true Wisdom to be throughly Spiritualized to be above all Carnalty to have before I was avvare my Soul even made like the Chariots of Aminadib by vievving the Transcript of Heaven by beholding that Ray of divine Beauty that Beam of Coelestial Glory vvonderfully displayed both in thy outvvard and in thy invvard Man But I like a Fool had no heart to it I vvas not intense upon it But novv Ah! too late my Eyes are opened as the Disciples vvere after their Lord vvas vvithdrawn novv I look back vvith Sadness novv I call to mind vvhat heart breaking Grief How more like an Angel than an humane Creature How more like one Inspir'd of God then Instructed by Man thou alvvays speakest of the things of Heaven How more like one in a glorified State than in a body of Clay thy vvhole Carriage and Demeanor vvas But now Oh! now thou art gone and the Eyes of we that have seen thee will see thee no more Thou in a Moment vvas taken out of our Sight and left no Mantle behind thee only the svveet Perfume of thy immortal Name But I must and vvill follow thee vvith Elisha's cry after Elijah My Sister Oh! my Precious Sister my heavenly Sister the Chariots of Israel and the Horsemen thereof Hovv do all the Children of the Bride-chamher take up a Wailing for thee How do the habitations of our Zion mourn Yea how do the top of our Carmels wither because thou the beauty of them art fallen and sunk into the pit of Corruption Because thy Eyes Oh thou delightful Creature thou admired Saint are closed in the Dust and thy mouth is filled with cold Clay As for me I cannot forbear breaking forth into David's Lamentation for his beloved Jonathan I am distressed for thee Oh! my Sister my Sister very pleasant hast thou been to me But woe Alas Alas Alas She that was once the Object of my Love and Delight is now and I think whilst I am on this side heaven will be for I shall never forget her the sad Subject of my Sighs and Tears I may Her Fathers house may The Town of Havant may The Church may Yea the whole Country may Write on all our Assemblies on all our Solemn meetings Ichabod Ichabod The glory is departed from our Israel But here the Pen is dropping out of my hand Loads of Grief do block up my way that I cannot go on an inâ—ndation of sorrovv quite overpovvers me this is such a renevving my grief that I am not able to bear it I can scarce Repress a Floud of Tears ready to break forth I Write vvith a Trembling hand vvith vvatry Eyes vvith a mourning Soul and therefore I must break off Considering vvith the Words which Solomon spake of Bathsheba as properly applicable to this young Triumphant I dare avouch it as to any of the Female-Sex in our Day or in the Age before it Prov. 31.29 Many Daughters have done Virtuously but thou Oh thou Virgin Angel excellest them all Rest blessed Saint within thy peaceful Grave Whilst I no Peace because of her can have For thy sweet Converse which was once so brave But Death ah too too soon did me of it bereave Too soon we parted were and neither farewel gave I have been exceedingly importun'd to Print the Sermon I Preach'd at the Funeral of this precious Lamb but for two Reasons I forbear The One is It would make this Tract too big which is already swell'd under my Hand beyond what I first Intended But if this Reason be not Cogent I have another which is this I do not for indeed I cannot Print it because I have it not to Print for so it is as soon as I had Preached the Funeral Sermon for another on the day this Saint Died as I before hinted I immediately fix'd my Thoughts on a Subject for her Funeral which I judg'd suitable and it was Jam. 1.12 Blessed is the Man that endureth Temptation for when he is tryed he shall receive the Crown of Life which the Lord hath promised to them that Love him But the very Day she was Buried her Mother sent to desire me to Preach on these Words with which she clos'd her life Job 19.25 I know that my Redeemer liveth The warning being so short I had no time for Study but upon my Knees begging the Assistance of my heavenly Father who graciously vouchsafed it in such a way as I think no Sermon I ever Preach'd was more Acceptable to others though it was wholly lost as to me for through Grief and Disturbance of Mind I could not recall it only I remember the Two Generals I insisted on viz. The Excellency of the saving Knowledge of Christ as a Redeemer And The exceeding Vtility of this
wrought out by and made most secure in the Lord Jesus Christ might be the more precious and valuable to them when they are made to see it and have a joyful Sense of it by the enlightning Efficacy of God's Spirit which she was now believingly to be expecting of for I assured her in the Name of the Great God it was not far from her urging for her Support under the Burthen of her present Calamity that sweet Promise Hab. 2.3 For the Vision is yet for an appointed time but at the end it shall speak and not lie Though it tarry wait for it because it will surely come it will not tarry By Vision here I told her is meant the Manifestation of the Light of God's Countenance and the Glory of his Presence and there is a secret appointed time in the Breast of the Father for reviving the drooping Spirit and ravishing the sadned Heart of every Elect Son and Daughter of Adam with this great and glorious Mercy But she must patiently wait this appointed time for it and this plain Word of God assures her she would not be deceived in her Expectation I also for her Incouragement instanced the bitter Passion of Sorrow poor Mary Magdalen was in from the Sense of her horrid Sins and most vile and filthy Pollutions And the great and Soul-amazing Shakings the Gaoler had from the dreadful Apprehensions of his miserable State and the doleful Agonies of his Soul in the Sense of Hell and Damnation And yet what Comfort both of them met with what abundant Satisfaction both of them had by the Lord 's speaking effectual Peace to their Souls But whatever I could say and much more through the good Hand of my God upon me to this purpose I did say she still continued in a lamentable manner under the Power of Despair hideously crying out she was sure there was no Mercy for her By which I perceiving that no words how right soever were at present forcible so as to have any Effect upon her It growing late and I much wearied with travelling and speaking after solemn seeking the Lord for her I at that time left her I cannot tell you whether with more Joy or Sorrow Joy that there was so eminent a Work begun in her which plainly appear'd to me to be of God for I saw a thorough Work of Conviction wrought by the mighty Power of Jehovah in her Soul and I doubted not but design'd by him who brings forth Meat out of the Eater and Sweet out of the Strong for her Eternal Good though the Tempter for the present had such an ascendant upon her Or Sorrow that she was groveling in such hideous Darkness and left to struggle with the Horrors of a wounded Spirit which as the wise Man implicitly tells us is far more deplorable and much less tolerable than any Sickness or Infirmity how great or sore soever of the Body can be It was not long before I gave her another Visit and then found her under dreadful Consternation of Mind through the violent and malicious Assaults of Satan who as a roaring Lyon was seeking to devour or rather swallow up this distressed Damsel by the multitude of vain wicked yea blasphemous Thoughts he cast into her whereof she wofully complained and that in a lamentable and heart-melting Accent to me Oh Sir says she with dismal black Clouds in the Horizon of her Countenance you little think what a prodigious vile wicked and abominable Wretch I am my Heart is full of most horrid blasphemous Thoughts against God my Mind is running upon nothing but what is Evil and that of the deepest dye Surely there is none there can be no such grosly wicked Person as I in the World as there is no Sorrow so there is no Wickedness like mine To which I replied Mrs. Mary As for the Thoughts you complain of with so much Bitterness of Heart they are not yours neither are you chargeable with them God will not impute them to you they are thrown into you by the evil one who is doing you all the spite he can and trying all means to make your Life every way uncomfortable and therefore I would have you and Oh! that you would harken unto me to cast Satan's Brats with an Holy Scorn at his own Door bidding Defiance to him and all his Cursed Suggestions For I tell you as from the Lord what is your Grief or Burthen now will not be charg'd upon you as your Sin hereafter Then I commended to her Serious Consideration that pathetical Scripture 1 Joâ—n 3.20 For if our Heart condemn us God is greater than our Heart and knoweth all things From whence I told her yea thus argued with her Though your trembling Heart does indeed condemn you and your very Soul is perplexed in the abhorring Sense of these horrid Thoughts and you are in extream Bitterness and Sorrow therefore yet God who is greater than your Heart and who knows all things very well knows the Source and Spring from whence these abominable evil Thoughts flow and the Power by which they are injected into you and though you are laying your self so low even as Hell abhorring your self in Dust and Ashes and condemning your self so grievously for them this Righteous this All-seeing this All-knowing God is so far from Condemning you that he is pittying you in this great Distress and Anguish you are You in this your deep Affliction Jehovah the Lord of your Righteousness is afflicted and the Angel of his Presence shall save you And in his Love and in his Pitty he will I question not in his own way which you must submit to and in his own time which you must wait for redeem you from the Snares of the Deceiver and he will bare you and carry you as he did all his Tempted ones in the Days of Old even as upon Eagles Wings above the reach of this or any other Delusion whatsoever But whatever I said of this nature took no hold upon her so as to administer any Comfort or Satisfaction to her for the Ephah of her Sorrow was not yet filled up No she was to be plunged yet deeper in the Furnace of Tribulation she was yet to pass thorough hotter and more scorching Fiery Tryals she was yet to drink a much larger Draught of that bitter Cup her Redeemer drank of before her and in a more dolorous manner to be Baptized with that Baptism he was Baptized with She was yet to be more dreadfully and terribly shaken and to be exempted from Vessel to Vessel that she might at last know the Righteousness of the Lord And therefore after a little more Conference with her and going to the Throne of Grace for her I again took leave of her with an akeing Heart for her and yearning Bowels towards her By this time her Fame began to spread abroad and she was talk'd of far and near the general Subject of most Peoples Discourse and their Discourse about her was
according to their various Apprehensions and Inclinations the Vain and Carnal ones thought she was in Love and upon that Theam the Spicket of their Tongues were loosned to vent the Froth of their Hearts Indeed their thoughts about Love was not amiss only they were miserably mistaken both in the Nature and in the Object of it the Byass of her Affections ran towards an unseen Jesus whom the World never knew and as a Chaos of Darkness cannot comprehend Her deep Care and Concern was for her Immortal Soul which all that are in the Gall of Bitterness and in the Bond of Iniquity and all of the World are so have no Thought or Anxiety about 'T is present not future Happiness that they are in the eager pursuit of But the People of God in these Parts who had passed through the Pangs of the New Birth themselves and therefore capable of judging her Condition very well knew the Nature of her Distemper and the unexpressibleness of her Woe according to Sol mon's Apothegm The Spirit of a Man may sustain his Infirmity but a wounded Spirit who can bear These I say pittied her and heartily sympathized with her in her Spiritual Dolours and they arose every one from his own place like Job's Friends and came to bemoan her and to comfort her for they saw the Grief of her Soul was very great And indeed she had a very large room beyond whatever I knew of one under her Circumstances in the Hearts and Affections of the best Saints amongst us abundantly manifested in their frequent Visiting her and inviting her to their Houses taking no small Pains with her to strengthen her feeble Knees to support her fainting Spirits and to refresh her wearied Soul pined away almost to Death by communicating their Experiences of God's working upon their Hearts in the day of his first appearing to them when he opened their Eyes and turned them from Darkness unto Light and from the Power of Satan unto God and gave them a joyful Sense of the Forgiveness of their Sins and a comfortable Taste of the Inheritance which they shall for ever have among them that are Sanctified by Faith which is in Christ Jesus And what Refreshments after many sad and sore Conflicts they particularly found from the Presence of the Lord reflecting on them with the Rays of his Beauty and the Beams of his Glory and what Comfortable Dawnings yea Ravishing Shinings they very often had after a dark stormy night And this every one did according to the Measure of their Attainment and Experience They all as Fliphaz Bildad and Zophaz spake unto her by turns and then they all return'd to speak unto her but though in their reiterated speaking they said all this yea more than this yet it had little or no Effect upon her she remain'd notwithstanding all possible Endeavours used and unwearied Pains taken by many Precious Sons and Daughters of Zion in a very distressed and disconsolate State even Mourning as one without hope She seem'd in her mournful Gesture and doleful Behaviour to speak in the Sad and Melancholy Language of the Church Is it nothing to you all ye that pass by Behold and see if there be any Sorrow like unto my Sorrow which is done unto me wherewith the Lord hath afflicted me in the day of his fierce Anger From above hath he sent Fire into my Bones and it prevailed against them He hath spread a Net for my Feet he hath turned me back he hath made me Desolate and Faint all the day For these things I Weep mine Eye runneth down with Water because the Comforter that should relieve my Soul is far from me And again I am that Maid that hath seen Affliction by the Rod of his Wrath. He hath led me and brought me into Darkness but not into Light Surely against me is he turned he hath turned his Hand against me all the day My Flesh and my Skin hath he made old he hath broken my Bones He hath budded against me and compassed me with Gall and Travel He hath set me in dark places as they that be dead of old He hath hedged me about that I cannot get out he hath made my Chain heavy Also when I cry and shout he shutteth out my Prayer These Oh! these were the Hierogliphick Bemoanings of her Soul in every minute Circumstance of her Carriage Indeed her watry Eyes her pale Cheeks her ghastly Countenance her trembling Joynts the great Disorder and Confusion of her outward and inward Man mournfully spoke in a silent yet pathetical Dialect what Job spoke with his Lips Have pitty upon me O ye my Friends have pitty upon me for the Hand of God hath touched me Though this was the Language of her mournful Gesture to all that were near her yet was not her Mouth closed she articulately spoke many bitter and doleful things Truly it would have melted an Heart of Stone I am sure it did mine to have heard her daily Bemoanings and her nightly Lamentations And that in a Tone as I have sometimes verily thought scarcely Humane She had no delight in any thing no ease in her Spirit no Satisfaction in her Mind no Comfort alone or in Company Her Harp was turned into Mourning and her Organ into the Voice of them that Weep She was made to possess Months of Vanity and wearisome nights were appointed for her She was full of tossings to and fro to the dawning of the day Hence it was she could not refrain her Mouth but did grievously speak in the Anguish of her Spirit and lamentably complain in the Bitterness of her Soul How often would she cry out there was none in the World so bad as she my Heart is harder than any Body can conceive or possibly imagine I do not I cannot love Christ or have any desire after him I am as dry as a Stick as Sapless as a Stone I cannot believe I cannot repent I cannot Pray I have not one good thought and therefore it cannot otherwise be but I must Perish for ever In these dolorous Bemoanings she even wasted and pined away She was weary with her Groaning all the night she made her Bed to swim yea she water'd her Couch with her Tears Her Eye was consumed because of Grief it waxed old because of the Enemy of her Salvation who provoked her to Despondency and to a roaring out for Sorrow because the Lord had hid his Face from her and left her to struggle with those Temptations of Horror that like the Sons of Zerviah were too hard for her And though many excellent Saints and experienced Christians as the Sons and Daughters of Jacob upon Joseph's supposed Death arose to comfort her and left no means unessay'd in order thereunto yet she like Jacob refused to be comforted and seemed with him resolved to go to the Grave Mourning Thus he wept thus she mourn'd as one that had no hope and that continually Her Chamber was a perfect Rama where no
and severest Affliction And it is more than imply'd that Jonah apprehended this when he thus cried to him The Israelites were to eat no Leavened Bread with the Sacrifice of their Passover but the unleavened Bread of Affliction Deut. 16.3 That they might remember what they were once in Egypt and the gracious Design God had towards them even in that Bondage State Oh! a Belief of this glorious Truth would allay the tempestuous Sea of Sorrow when our Souls are bowed down with Anguish Fourthly God will appear as answering of Prayer in the greatest Affliction When Jonah was crying he heard by an Ear of Faith God answering And so we find Israel acknowledging Deut. 26.7 And when we cryed unto the Lord God of our Fathers the Lord heard our voice and looked on our Affliction and our Labour and our Oppression He is a Prayer-hearing God and then especially when Prayer comes from the Anguish and Bitterness of the Soul And we have not only the Experience of his afflicted People in all Ages to witness this Truth but his own express word for it Psalm 50.15 Call upon me in the day of trouble I will deliver thee and thou shalt glorifie me Oh! who would not beg hard for a Praying Heart and a Crying Tongue when the blessed God has such an hearing Ear. Secondly The other word that Jonah here sets forth the Misery of his Condition by is Hell Out of the belly of Hell cryed I From whence I remark'd these Observations First Poor Creatures and yet Elect Vessels may be in very dreadful Torments their Souls may be in very doleful Agonies Hell is a place of Torment 't is said of the rich Man Luke 16.23 In Hell he lift up his Eyes being in Torments Hence great and grievous Soul-troubles are Metaphorically called Hell David speaks in the same Language Psalm 18.5 The Sorrows of Hell compassed me about Now then when Jonah said here Out of the belly of Helâ— cryed I It is as if he had said In the midst of dreadful Torments and anguish of Soul I cryed to my God Secondly Poor Creatures may be surrounded with Sorrows every way from above from below from without from within thus David speaks of his case Psalm 116.3 The Sorrows of Death compassed me and the Pains of Hell gat hold upon me I found Trouble and Sorrow That is he was compassed about every way with Woe and Misery As Job's Messengers came from every Corner sinking his Spirits with ill News and piercing his Soul with the Darts of disconsolate Tidings Job 1.16 So many chosen Vessels of the Lord may be beset with Troubles and Sorrows of every kind which may make them roar and cry out as those without hope Thirdly Poor Creatures may be worried and hurried by the Temptations of the Devil which is a Species of Hells Torture As the Tongue is said to be set on Fire of Hell James 3.6 So the Spirits of tempted ones may be and too often are borne down and kept under the Hatches by the Tyranny of Hells Monarch We find Paul complaining of a Thorn in the Flesh the Messenger of Satan buffeting him 2 Cor. 12.7 Oh! it is an Hell upon Earth to be in the Claws of Hells roaring Lyon Fourthly Poor Creatures may be for a time conquered and overcome by Hells Sorrows though The Gates of Hell shall not absolutely prevail Matt. 16.18 yet they may a great while and in a great measure prevail over many precious Children of Zion though God's chosen ones shall not be left to remain always in Hell as David personating Christ spake with respect to the Grave Psalm 16.10 Yet they may be left a long time under the power of Hell to be crying out as though they were for ever lost Then I took notice of the Dolefulness of Jonah's Complaint as we have it in the third Verse For thou hadst cast me into the Deep in the midst of the Seas and the Floods compassed me about all thy Billows and thy Waves passed over me Wherein there is Metaphorically set forth First The Sense he had of Sin as the deserving Cause of what he now so lamentably groaned under Thou hadst cast me into the Deep and that deservedly for my horrid and crying Sin of Disobedience of which mention is made Chap. 1.1 2 3. Now the Word of the Lord came unto Jonah the Son of Amittai saying Arise go to Nineveh that great City and cry against it for their Wickedness is come up before me But Jonah rose up to flee unto Tarshish from the presence of the Lord. Here we find him shamefully turning his Back upon the Commands of his God and now in the Deep he is sadly sensible of it and broken in Heart for it So in like manner we find the Church acknowledging and that in a Soul-humbled and debased way Lam. 5.15 16. The Joy of our Heart is ceased our Dance is turned into Mourning The Crown is fallen from our head Woe unto us that we have sinned Ah! happy if under the weight of Grief we have a Sense of the Evil of Sin Secondly He was under Terrors of Conscience and miserable Confusion in his Spirit this is imply'd in the vvord Seas In the midst of the Seas That he vvas literally cast into the Seas vve read Chap. 1.15 So they took up Jonah and cast him forth into the Sea But besides this he vvas in a mystical Sense in the Sea that is under the Rackings of a vvounded Spirit under the Bitings of a stinging Conscience So that he vvas as the Prophet told Pashur he should be Jer. 20.3 Magor Missabib even a Terror to himself Oh! Terrors of Conscience are the vvorst of Sea-storms Thirdly He was over-whelmed with Sorrow and this is imply'd in the word Floods And the Floods compassed me about So that his Spirit as well as his Body sunk as Lead in the mighty Waters As it was said of Pharaoh and his Host when they were drowned in the Red Sea Exod. 15.10 Our Saviour thus expresses the Misery that shall come upon all incorrigible Sinners Matt. 18.6 It were better for him that a Mill-stone were hanged about his Neck and that he were drowned in the depth of the Sea Oh! who can be sensible of the Troubles and Miseries wherewith poor Jonah was overwhelmed when he was in the Sea Fourthly He was closely confined not only as to his Body but narrowly pent up as to his Spirit This is included in the word Billows All thy Billows and thy Waves passed over me We read indeed of his being in the Whales Belly Chap. 1.17 And as that miserably confin'd his Body so his Spirit was worse restrain'd through the awful Sense of Divine Displeasure As David's once was Psalm 42.7 Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy Water-spouts All thy Waves and thy Billows are gone over me Ah! how sad 't is when the Soul is depressed groveling in the Dust and cannot look up for want of Strength and Faith
Oh! the Sweet and Soul-charming Doctrine of the Eternal Love of God to poor Sinners did mightily affect her and she melted under it as being overcome therewith This silenc'd all her Objections this resolv'd all her Doubts this expell'd all her Fears so that now she could as ever after she did lye down in Peace and the Enemy no more made her afraid for now she was hid in the hollow of God's hand and even beyond Conception supported in the Joyful Sense of his Everlasting Love Thus she continued a few Weeks in an Holy Humble Frame amazingly Growing yea gloriously Shining in Grace and in the Knowledge of her Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ And then took her Flight into the upper Regions as being one of whom this every-day perishing and decaying World was not worthy We read Gen. 47.29 And the time drew nigh that Israel must dye So now the time drew nigh very nigh that this Heavenly Saint this Celestial Bride every way fitted and prepared by the Efficacy of Grace for the Royal Bridegroom must dye and go into the Arms of her Beloved Jesus Her Sickness if we may call it Sickness was very short and hardly discernable She was at Meeting June the 18th in the Morning I observing her Countenance very pale and missing her in the Afternoon I went on Monday to see her and found her in the Kitchin She complained of an inward Fever and told me she was a great deal worse than her Mother or any about her did imagine I discoursed a while with her labouring to divert her from the Thoughts of her Sickness which I confess I had as low thoughts of as any body else And so for that time was taking my leave of her little thinking it was the last time that ever I should see her but she putting her hand upon mine desired me with a Sigh to go up into her Chamber which I immediately did her Mother and Sister following us as soon as we were sate down she begg'd me to seek the Lord for her She spoke very inward which I have since very often reflected on but then did not mind it After Prayer I earnestly admonish'd her not to give way to Melancholy poring upon her supposed Illness for indeed my very Soul lov'd her and she was beyond what I can express dear to me and so I left her to my unexpressible Grief never Oh! that 's a Cutting vvord never more to behold her in this World I am very sure if I may be thought to have any competent knovvledge of my ovvn Inclination had I knovvn hovv near she had been to her end I should not I could not have stirr'd day or night from her But God vvho knevv my Weakness cast a Vail before my Eyes and by a special though avvful Providence block'd up my vvay so that I could not give her another Visit For thus it vvas The next day I vvas sent for in all haste to a very precious and eminently-Godly dying Sister of our Church about a Mile out of Tovvn vvho before I could get to her though I made all speed imaginable vvas Speechless and almost Breathless vvhich vvas no small Affliction to me so that I had nothing to do but very briefly for she survived not many Moments after I come in to recommend her departing Soul into the Arms of her Redeemer vvhose Arms vvere opened to receive her As soon as I had done she gave up the Ghost and vvas I doubt not carried by the Angels into Abraham's Bosom for she vvas a very Holy Woman I immediately retired home and though I passed by Mrs. Mary Harrison's Door I had not povver to go in my Grief vvas so exceeding great but hastened to my Closet to give some vent to my over-burthened Heart Indeed our poor Church had a great loss in her The next day my Thoughts vvere taken up about the Funeral Sermon I vvas to Preach for that dear deceased Sister In the Evening of that day my very valuable Friend and Brother Mr. Robins call'd to see me as he come from Portsmouth He told me he had been vvith Mrs. Mary Harrison vvhich I vvas extreamly glad of acquainting him vvith the reason I had not seen her neither that day nor the day before I earnestly enquired about her and he told me she was out of order but he apprehended no great danger at least for the present for that she was up and went with him into another Chamber company being in hers to have some private Discourse with him only she vvas something dovvn in her Spirits and seem'd to be a little under a Cloud For she vvas though no-body knevv it near landing and upon the breach of the Shore Mr. Robins and I sate together very late and Purged him to stay vvith me that night but he vvould go to Chichester though it vvas past Nine vvhen he vvent avvay Then I prepared for Bed yet not forgetting dear Mrs. Mary then nor never before neither in my Family nor by my self The next Morning early a Gentleman came to see me and as we were walking in the Hall together my Boy came running in with a frightful look and told me Mrs. Harrison was dead Here I must be silent for 't is in vain to attempt doing that by words which words cannot do And I am sure to set forth the great Surprize and Amazement I was in at this sudden and unexpected News is much beyond the power of any words that ever flow'd out of a Cicero's Mouth Indeed the Confusion I was in was such and so predominant as much unfitted me for that solemn Funeral Work I was a few Hours after to be engaged in But my Gracious God notwithstanding carried me thorough it For I always as then found the most assistance from him when I had the greatest Diversion by intervening Obstacles And thus Sir I have a great while entertain'd you with a very Melancholy Theam I mean the Tragical Passages of this young Gentlewomans Life from the day of her first awakening Yet not without Intermixtures of Comfort and Pleasure in God's at length appearing for her and speaking out of the infinite Riches of his Free Grace Peace unto her after a wearied Conflict with the Tempter after a long passing through the Valley of Bacha and rowling on the Floor of Bochim though chequer'd with many Obumbrations and interposing Clouds But the best Wine was reserv'd to the last Act and Period of her Life for in the very last Hour that great Hour which is the Horizon between Time and Eternity God fully opened her Eyes as he did Hagar's in the Wilderness and made her see a Well of Water even the Water of Everlasting Life And now was she Abundantly satisfied with the Fatness of God's and made to drink of the Rivers of his Pleasure Now a rich Table was spread for her in the presence and in spite of her envious Adversary who had been so long haunting her and vexing her righteous Soul from day
Assembly nor Rejoyce in any Company but sate in her Chamber pensive alone because of the Lord's Hand that was upon her and because he had filled her with Indignation Hence her Pain was Perpetual and her Wound seemed to be incurable Jer. 15.17 18. What the Poet speaks extravagantly of Niobe's Weeping was in a great measure true of her from Weeks end to Weeks end her Eyes were seldom dry As it was said of Joseph at the sight of his Brother Benjamin Gen. 43.30 And he sought where to weep and he entred into his Chamber and wept there She was almost always in her Chamber still Weeping there Indeed 't was no easie matter at least some particular times to get her out of her Chamber though many Godly People out of Love and Pitty to her did often attempt it Her Chamber was as the Valley of Tears in which even with an eagerness of Mind she immur'd her self and I am perswaded would have liv'd there and died there if she had been left to her self She could not bear much Company nor endure to be where any thing of Mirth though never so innocent was One Instance among many I will give you I very well remember and shall do while I live that one day Baptizing Mr. Millerd's Child a Brother of our Church there was Provision made ready and several Christian Friends invited to partake of it among whom was Mrs. Mary's Father and Mother As we were sitting down to Table I ask'd her Mother why her Daughter was not with her She told me she could not perswade her to come Whereupon I desired the People of the House to stop serving up of Dinner and I would try what I could do which they willingly agreed to I immediately repair'd to her and found a Gentlewoman in the Chamber with her As soon as I acquainted her with the occasion of my coming Oh! how much dissatisfied she seemed to be and earnestly begg'd me to desist any farther talking about it I told her plainly I would have no denial and so renewed my pressing her going with me the Gentlewoman also back'd the Motion with her earnest Perswasion but we both of us found Work enough to prevail with her and were so long about it that Dinner was almost spoil'd At last rather wearied than overcome by violent Importunity she gave me her Hand and away I brought her but she walk'd like a Shadow and sate at the Table like a Ghost she spake nothing eat very little and nobody durst speak to her for they saw the Bitterness of her Heart was very great and the Dolours of her Soul were very grievous As soon as I had returned Thanks she slip'd from the Company and forthwith retired to her beloved Privacy Where her Head was constantly as Waters and her Eyes as a Fountain of Tears This piâ—ing Saint whilst living seem'd as dead In darksome Chambers hanging down her Head Refusing Comfort or to taste of Bread She she at last was to the living Fountain led Fifthly As after Conviction she was a secret Mourner so she was a secret Wrestler with God Private Prayer was her daily and her nightly Work Though she would often tell me and that with bitter Sighs and Sobs in a bemoaning way she could not Pray her Mouth was closed and her Heart was barr'd but by what I gather'd out of her Answers to my Questions I plainly found she did little else but Pray indeed her Praying was for the most part like Hannah's She spake in her heart only her Lips moved but her Voice was not heard 1 Sam. 1.13 And in this Praying according to our Saviour's Rule Mat. 6.6 She entered into her Closet and shut the Door and prayed to her Father in secret who saw the prostrate debased posture she was in who heard the deep Sobs and Groans of her dejected Soul and graciously vouchsafed his Ear unto her So that after long offering up of Prayers and Supplications like her dear Redeemer before her with strong Crying and Tears unto him who was able to save her from spiritual and eternal Death was at last heared in that she feared She never thought I Prayed too often in secret with her and she never thought she Prayed too often in secret by her self And now her mournful Praying is turned into joyful Praising now her doleful Sighing is turned into melodious Singing now her heart breaking Groans are turned into loud Acclamations of Halelujahs For now she is on the top of Mount Zion in the Presence of the Lamb having her Father's Name written in her Forehead among the hundred forty four thousand playing with them on their harps and singing with them the new Song before the Throne for ever This new born Saint unto her God did cry And crying Wept her Eyes were never dry Both Day and Night lamenting bitterly But now she 's singing Praise with heav'nly Mâ—tâ—ly Sixthly After Conviction to her dying Hour she had a very tender Conscience And the greatest dread of Sin was the most visibly manifest in her that ever I saw in any Creature in my Life She did not only hate Evil but the very appearance of it That blessed Promise was eminently and most effectually fulfill'd in her of God's taking away the heart of Stone and giving an heart of Flesh Ezek. 36.26 I could give you an Instance that would put this out of all doubt but 't is so amazing and having some cause to question whether ever she acquainted any in the World with it besides my self I will omit it but two other Stories that are very well known I will tell you the one is a young Man in Chichester Converted by Mr. Robbins his Ministry and joyned to the Church there Soon after his Conversion was brought into a Strait on this Account A great part of his Livelihood came in by attending on Weddings as a Musicianer having an excellent Faculty that way A Marriage was then coming on at which as he told me himself he had a prospect of getting near Five Pounds but thinking it scandalous to the Gospel any longer to continue in that Practice he advised with his Brethren about his going assuring them without their consent he would not give his Attendance they in Consideration of his low Circumstances as to the World and that being part of his Calling were not forward to discourage him but left him to his Liberty he not satisfied came to me for Advice I confess I was put to a stand and the more for that his Wife being then in a Carnal State thô since God has wrought upon her I knew not how her Spirit might be raised to exclaim against Religion and the Possessors of it for hindering them of their Maintenance I therefore desired to be excus'd from giving my Opinion in it but told him to advise him to go I could not and to disswade him from going I durst not he then requested me to ask my People about it and he would acquiess in their Judgment
To give him Satisfaction next time I preach'd on the Week-day several Members coming into my House after Sermon as also Mrs. Mary Harrison I then broke the business to them and desired them to give me their Thoughts upon it Every one spoke his Mind some were violent against it others more moderate on the foregoing Considerations but in short they went away without coming to any Result After they were gone precious Mrs. Mary I shall never forget it took me by the Hand and with Tears in her Eyes very earnestly spoke the following words Good Dear Sir beat off my Brother Betsworth from going to the Wedding and I will do what I can to make up his loss These were her very words but the manner of speaking them and the Agony of her Spirit in speaking them is above the power of a far better Pen than mine lively to set forth The other Story is In the days of her Vanity before God touch'd her Heart seeing the Key in her Father's Desk or Trunk she took thence some Money under twenty Shillings to buy her some fine things on which her Mind was wholly set with the greatest eagerness that could be But Oh! what an unspeakable Horror had she in her Conscience for this in the day of her Conviction she often complain'd or rather roar'd about it to me that she was a Thief and had stolen Money from her Father The Devil was not wanting to aggravate the matter for the farther perplexing her already too much disturbed Soul At last she told me she must tell her Father of it and ask him Forgiveness for it I confess I laboured to disswade her from it fearing he being her Father-in-Law it might be of bad Consequence Telling her that though it was very ill done yet being several Years since and she one of the Family I thought a thorough Sense of the Evil of it which 't was plain she had and seeking Pardon oâ— God in the Blood of Christ was sufficient for though Confession of Wrong done in other cases was necessary yet Prudence forbade it in this case under her Circumstances and the state of the Family Several knowing Christians to whom she communicated this Affair concur'd with my Judgment but this did not Satisfy her she still persisted in her Resolution of confessing it to her Father And one Night as I was with her late after Prayer being about to leave her she told me she would not nor could not keep this thing any longer from her Father's Knowledge she had such a Fire burning in her Conscience which was not to be quenched till she did it I reply'd If that was her absolute Determination I desir'd I might be by to back it not knowing how her Father might resent it To which she consenting we sent down for him but he was either Busie with Company or at Supper and I not being willing to stay longer it was defer'd till next day But after I was gone and the Family with her self also in Bed about Midnight so powerful and influential was her terrifying Conscience she rose up and as I think slipping on her Night-gown ran to her Father's Chamber and approaching his Bedside in a penitential heart-moving Tone confess'd her Guilt to him upon hearing of it He to his honour like a generous honest tender-hearted Man freely forgave her to her no small Comfort The next day after Dinner at the Hour appointed I went to her expecting the performance of what she had been so long harping upon but when she told me she had already done it and where and in what manner Oh! how was my Soul struck with Amazement I presently thought on Solomon's words Prov. 14.10 The heart knoweth his own Bitterness and a Stranger doth not intermeddle with his Joy O blessed God thought I how does this young Convert outstrip those of the highest Form in thy House I confess I had much higher thoughts of her and much lower thoughts of my self ever after that Day But stay I am call'd to Hearken and Oh! that you and all that read this Tract would Hearken with me to what John heard Rev. 14.17 And I heard a Voice from Heaven saying unto me Write Blessed are the Dead which dye in the Lord from henceforth yea saith the Spirit that they may rest from their Labours and their Works do follow them Ah! this holy Virgin is One of the blessed Dead that do rest from her Labours of Sorrow and Anguish for Sin and her Works of Faith Repentance and Love do follow her This heavenly Lamb when she escap'd the Gin That Satan laid and after was let in Jehovah's Courts Oh! how she dreaded Sin Its Fear did pierce her Soul and made her Body thin Seventhly As after Conviction she had a dread of Sin of any Sin so more especially of her own Sin of her former beloved Sin Pride Certainly never was any Creature below a Glorify'd State more Mortify'd to that particular Sin than she was Oh with what Loathing Abhorrence and Disdain would She speak of it David accounted it an undeceivable mark of Sincerity that he was got above his darling Lust Psalm 18.23 I was also upright before him and I kept my self from mine Iniquity What David's Iniquity was I may Guess but not Conclude but this I am sure Pride was hers And she through the mighty power of Grace kept her self from it It was her right Eye and she was enabled to pluck it out it was her right Hand and she had power from God to cut it off that she might be fit for the Kingdom of God Mat. 5.29 30. From the day of her Conviction when the terrors of the Almighty took hold of her off went her Top-Knots and all superfluous Finery and never put on more what was her Glory before was her Shame now Her adorning was no longer the outward adorning of plaiting the hair the wearing of Gold or putting on of Apparel but the hidden Man of the heart in that which is not Corruptible even the Ornament of a meek and quiet Spirit which is in the sight of God of great Price Oh that all the young Ladies and Gentlewomen in England had seen her ghastly Looks and heard how dolefully she bemoan'd her self for her horrid Pride which was once so Rampant in her It could not I think but be an effectual Antidote against their staying so long at the Glass and being so curiously exact in decking and adorning the outside of their decaying Bodies Oh! if they had beheld as I and many others did how dear and costly this Sin was to this young Damsel they would sure be more afraid of it She was weeping and Crying and continually Lamenting the pride of her vain heart But as it is said of the Church she had the Moon that is the World under her feet so this precious Saint had at last the Sin of Pride under her feet and Oh! how did she trample upon it how did she contemn and despise it In
Knowledge in a dying Hour I was so long in opening those Two Heads that I had no time for Application only address'd my self to the Auditory which was then the most Numerous I ever before or since saw in Havant and I will because I can give you some brief Account of that for I took some Notes of it which are as followeth I shall instead of the several Uses that might be made of this Doctrine I have been discoursing of apply my self in a few Words 1st To Young Ones 2dly To the Relations of this deceased Person 3dly To this Society 4thly To all and every one of this great Congregation 1st To you that are Young You are come this Evening to the Funeral of a young Gentlewoman who was called away by Death in the Flower of her time She was fit to die and therefore she died to live But how is it with you I beseech you consider you may die even now in your youth as well as she Ay! But are you as well prepared for it as she was Oh! Dreadful dying without an Interest in the Lord Jesus Christ You had better never have been Born then die to go to Hell for ever which will most certainly be your Portion if you die in a Christless State Oh that you would take example by this blessed Virgin to Fly youthful Lusts To remember your Creatour in the days of your Youth And now Oh! now in the Morning of your Age to look Heaven-ward I may say of the deceased as Simeon said of the Lord Jesus in his Infant-state Luke 2.24 Behold this Child is set for the fall and rising of many in Israel and for a Sign which shall he spoken against Oh! So verily this young Saint as a glorious Star was shining in this Horizon for the fall and rising of many that is both in Judgment and in Mercy to many in these parts In Judgment to be a greater and more Terrible Condemnation to those Obstinate young ones that will still keep on in their Lusts still continue in their Sins still slight and Contemn the Tenderness of Grace in the Gospel after so great and amazing an instance of the Riches of free Grace the fulness of divine Love extended unto her In Mercy to you who will be affected with what God did abundantly for her in a way of special Grace and therefore will be looking unto Christ as Believing there is the same Free-grace the same rich Love the same bottomless Ocean of Pardoning Healing and Soul-saving Mercy for you as she found as she tasted as she Ravishingly Experienc'd in the day of her Distress Oh! hear this dead Saint speaking to you in David's words Psal 66.16 17. Come and hear all ye that fear God and I will declare what he hath done for my Soul I Cryed unto him with my Mouth and he was Extolled with my Tongue Oh! hear her thus speaking to every Soul of you You young Men and Maids that are yet in the Gall of Bitterness and in the Bond of Iniquity that are minding nothing but the satisfying your Lusts that have no sense of Heaven and Eternity or what will become of your Immortal Souls for ever I was once in the same condition and running on in the same excess of Riot I was once as dead as Carnal as Vain as Frothy as you are But God broke my heart and Melted my Soul with Trembling and Affrightning Shakings under the vvoful Apprehension of a lost Condition and a Flaming Hell that I look'd every Moment to be plung'd into And then he comforted and Reviv'd me with a Sensible Manifestation of redeeming Love then he made knovvn to me the Wonders of Soveraign Grace in fully Revealing and discovering Christ with the avail of his Pretensions Death and Sufferings to my Soul I Cryed to him in the day of Distress and he Graciously Vouchsaf'd his Ear He brought me up out of the Horrible Pit out of the Miry Clay and set my Feet upon a Rock even the Rock of Ages with whom I am now in Glory and shall be so for ever Oh! Therefore you my former Carnal Companions be intreated to seek the Lord whilst he may be found and to call upon him while he is yet near Do not let a Dalilah's Lap deprive you of an Abraham's Bosom Do not for the fading Pleasures of a Transitory Life Subject your precious Souls to eternal Ruin Oh! Let my Case the unexpressible Sorrows I have gone through for Sin and the true pleasures I have found in the ways of Grace and Holiness have a powerful convincing and perswading Effect upon you The good Lord help all you young ones to hear this dead Saint thus speaking to you 2dly My next word is to you that are the Relations of this blessed Person and 't is what our Saviour said to the Mourners about the Damsel we read of Matt. 9.24 The Maid is not dead but Sleepeth So your Daughter your Sister your Relation for vvhom you are in so much Bitterness and because of vvhom your hearts are ready to break vvith sorrovv Oh! She is not dead but Sleepeth Indeed as to you she is dead and you will see her no more with a mortal Eye but unto God she is alive and with him wâ—ll live for evermore Oh! Therefore Assuage your Grief dry up your Tears make no Bevvailing for her for she is better and in a far better State than you Oh! therefore turn your Lamentation for her into Imitation of her think not of her Immature death but of her holy and examplary Life and be ye followers of her who through the abundant increase of Faith and exercise of Patience was fitted for the Kingdom above and is now with the triumphant inheriting the Promises being in Possession of that Inheritance which is Incorruptible Vndefiled which fadeth not away And as to her outward Man she is but fallen asleep and will be awakened again at the joyful Morning of the Resurrection Though she be now with Job saying to Corruption thou art my Father and to the Worm thou art my Mother and my Sister though after her Skin Worms will destroy her Body yet in her Flesh shall she see God I will therefore commend the Apostle's Words to your serious Consideration which I hope may afford you some matter of Consolation at least be a rational Ground for the alleviation of your present Sorrow on this sad Occasion 1 Thes 4.13.14 But I would not have you to be Ignorant Brethren concerning them which are asleep that ye Sorrow not even as others which have no hope for if we believe that Jesus died and rose again even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him Again v. 16. For the Lord himself shall descend from Heaven with a shout with the Voice of the Archangel and with the Trump of God and the dead in Christ shall rise first On which sweet Conclusion and most comfortable truth I would ground my pressing Exhortation
to you that are now Mourning To you that are now Weeping To you that are now so full of Sadness for this great and irreparable loss and that in the words of the same Apostle in the same Chapter verse 18. Wherefore comfort one another with these words 3dly To you also of this Society my Brethren and Sisters of this Church I would next address my self on this awful Occasion And it is to beg you to have a deep sense of the Lords hand upon us in diminishing our number in Housing our little Flock apace But the last night we were in this place Solemnizing the Funeral of a precious and beloved Sister and now we are here at the Funeral of this triumphant Damsel 'T is true she was not actually a Member of ours but virtually and intentionally she was she walk'd with us sate down vvith us and really design'd if the Lord had spared her life to be dismiss'd to us and so to be wholly ours She extreamly delighted in this Society and dearly loved every one of you But we have now left her with several others of emminent use and worth which calls for no small Lamentation and therefore I may here justly make use of the Prophets words by way of Exhortation to you Jerem. 9. v. 17 18. Thus saith the Lord of Hosts Consider ye and call for the Mourning-women that they may come and send for Cunning Women that they may come And let them make haste and take up a wailing for us that our Eyes may run down with Tears and our Eye-lids gush out with Waters Why what 's the matter What is it that calls for so much Mourning verse 21. For death is come up into our Windows and is entred into our palaces to cut off the Children from without and the young Men in the Streets Oh! How many lovely Children of God have of late been cut off in this place and now this young Flourishing Branch is so suddenly and so unexpectedly cut down from amongst us and we shall never see her more Oh How then for this sad and irreparable loss should we lament with Tears how should our Eyes be gushing out with Water for the Immature fading of so sweet a Flower Oh! Therefore from the sense of Gods displeasure in taking such Unvaluable Jewels from us Be afflicted mourn and Weep let your Laughter be turned into Mourning and your Joy into heaviness Though as to this Saint her self there is no need of it death is to her an unspeakable Gain And therefore Christs words to the Bewailing Women are applicable unto you Ye daughters of Jerusalem Weep not for me but for your selves and the Miseries that are coming upon You. Oh Methinks I hear her speaking aloud to all and every one of us in Davids Language Psal 34. v. 2.3.4 My Soul shall make her Boast in the Lord The humble shall hear thereof and be glad O Magnifie the Lord with me and let us exalt his name together I sought the Lord and he heard me and delivered me from all my Fears But for our own sakes there 's cause enough of Mourning especially from this awful consideration Accession to us does not answer the decession from us 4thly and lastly A word to all of you in this Congregation the Inhabitants of this Town and the parts adjacent And I will Preface what I have to say to you in the Words of Jotham to the Men of Shechem Judg. 9.7 Hearken I beseech you unto me that God may hearken unto you Some of you have seen all of you have heard what this deceased young Gentlewoman underwent for Heaven What Oceans of Troubles she vvas plunged in and what Fires of Soul-tribulations she was a long time burning in Now as Christ said to his Disciples Math. 18.2.3 And Jesus called a little Child unto him and set him in the midst of them And said verily I say unto you except ye be Converted and become as little Children ye shall not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven So say I to all and every one here Old and Young Rich and Poor High and Low except ye go thorough the Pangs of the New-birth as this young Damsel did I do not say in that same degree of Horror and Agony for that few do but except you be as really Converted Changed Renewed and Born again as she was you will not nay you cannot enter into the Joys of Heaven when you Die for they are our Lord 's own Words and spoke as plain as plain can be Joh. 3.3 Except a Man any Man every Man be Born again he cannot see the Kingdom of God Now this deserves your most deep and serious Consideration for there is a Kingdom of God to be enjoyed and a kingdom of darkness to be avoided And believe it Sirs Heaven is no Feigned Elizium Hell and Eternty is no dream the worm that never dies is no fond Conceit And you will shortly know what the one or the other means You will er'e long be summon'd to spend the Ages of Eternity amongst the blessed or damned and that in a very little time And so I shall close the whole alluding to the words of my Lord and Master with an earnest Exhortation to and fervent Supplication for each and every Soul of you here present Oh! That you would therefore know even you in this your day the things that belong to your everlasting peace before even before they be hid from your eyes And that for ever Two Hymns composed for her Funeral the former of which was publickly sung at the close of her Funeral I Sought the Lord and him I found He did regard my Tears When I lay prostrate on the Ground He freed me from my fears I wept with Sorrow Grief and Woe 'T is God that Mercy gives God made me cry out Oh! I know That my Redeemer Lives And lives to comfort my poor Heart Who did my State condole As finding such an horrid smart Within my wounded Soul But now I 'm eas'd I feel no pain Oh! then rejoyce with me That have found Death so sweet a Gain My Saviour now I see When I through Weakness pin'd away And fetch'd my latest Groan Christ sent his Angels to convey My Soul unto his Throne Oh! Halelujah Lord I am Ravish'd with Joy and Love In Bosome of blest Abraham With all the Saints above The other A Person young late dwelt among Vs Militants below Oppress'd with Fears immerg'd in Tears Which from her Eyes did flow Her Spirit sad with Sable clad To think upon her Soul The Storm was great the Billows beat And Deeps did on her roul So fierce the Stroke her Heart was broke Her inward Man deprest Both Night and Day she pin'd away And had not any Rest. Till God did please t' afford her ease 'T is he that Comfort gives Then in her Woe she cry'd I know My dear Redeemer Lives With this sweet Breath in view of Death She did her Life resign Now wrapt in Love with those above She gloriously does shine Rest holy Saint where no complaint Shall vex thee any more Possess that Peace which ne'er will cease On Canaan's blessed shore Oh! Halelu-Jah he is true At length he 'll surely come He 'll come away without delay And take his Mourners home FINIS
such Words I am going to Heaven but Ah! my poor Sister I hope it may have an Impression upon her and the Reading of this may be of Use unto her This lovely Saint who plainly did appear A Lamb of God possess'd with holy Fear For th' Souls of those that unto her were near Especially for all her own Relations Dear Thirteenthly After Conviction she was full very full of heavenly Discourse indeed her Discourse was nothing but Heavenly She was then only in her proper Element when she was speaking of the Things of God and the Wonders of Free-Grace I have sometimes to try her propounded some alien Subject to talk of but I could not forbear Smiling to observe what a Loss always she was at in speaking of any thing but Spiritual Matters She vvas as a Fish out of the Water or as a Man in the Water nothing but Dashing and Plunging every thing but Heaven vvas the Shibboleth which she could not frame her self to pronounce Judg. 12.6 And therefore after a little Faltring she must and would return to Heaven which only was the Sibboleth she could plainly and with freedom speak It was most clear and visible to all that she was of Christ and belonged to Christ for the continuedness and the unaffectedness of her Speech bewrayed her Mat. 26.73 She believed in Christ and out of her Belly daily flow'd forth Rivers of living Water Her Speech her whole Speech was always season'd with Salt and very Edifying I cannot but make this remark on the Substance of her most excellent and serious Discourses Though all she spake vvas not good for every thing yet really every thing she spake was good for something This Orient Star this most resplendent Jem A follower of Jesse's happy Stein Among the Saints and praising still with them She spoke the Language of the new Jerusalem Fourteenthly After Conviction she was of an exact and exemplary Conversation not one dead fly was ever discerned in this Box of precious Oyntment I do not say she was soluta Legibus in a perfect State absolutely freed from Sin but this I may say this I can say and therefore this I will say her excessive Love to and causeless Value for unworthy Me excepted in the Frame of her Spirit and in the vvhole Course of her short Life there was as little Defect as little Failure observable as in any of the Sons and Daughters of Men how powerfully soever under the Work of Grace And I will thank that Man or Woman who truly knew her that will shew me her Fellow in any part of England As for my own Experience I must and do solemnly declare She was the most Grave Serious Composed young Gentlewoman that in all my Travels which have not been small that in all my Converse which has not been little I ever saw or was acquainted with Like Zacharias and Elizabeth She was righteous before God and walked in all the Commandments and Ordinances of the Lord blameless Luke 1.6 And as Paul she always and in every thing exercis'd her self to have a Conscience void of Offence towards God and towards Men Acts 24.16 Yea the setled Frame of her Spirit vvas bent to the exercising her self to Godliness and that in all the parts of it insomuch that I verily think and I am not alone in my thoughts the most eminent Christians the most famous Ministers in the Nation without any Disparagement to their Graces might have Learned something of her Every Step of her Life was Teaching And Oh! that She had had more Scholars and better Schollars than many of us and I especially that were daily with her When 'twixt her Soul and Sin Grace made a Breach She Shined in a manner to Impeach The best of Saints as well as Sinners teach How loudly unto both her Holy Life did Preach Fifteenthly After Conviction She did amazingly grow in Grace her mighty Progression Heaven-ward is beyond what I or any Mortal can express What David said of himself with respect to his Outward was eminently true with respect to her Inward Man She praised God yea in the Night she Sang his Praise for She was fearfully and wonderfully made a Saint of the highest Form a Star of the first Magnitude in the Firmament of the Church Militant marvellous were God's Works in her whereby as the Kings Daughter she was all glorious within her Cloathing was of wrought Gold aad that her Soul knew right well Though none more Debased and Low in their own Esteem than She was Solomon tells us Prov. 4.18 The path of the Just is as the shining Light that shineth more and more unto the perfect Day She shined in Grace even to the dazling the Eyes of all that beheld her here and now She is shining in the Perfection of Glory above Again we are told Psalm 92.12.13 14. The righteous shall flourish like the Palm-tree he shall grow like a Cedar in Lebanon Those that be planted in the House of the Lord shall flourish in the Courts of our God They shall bring forth Fruit in old Age they shall be Fat and Flourishing The Palm-tree as Naturalists observe grows and ascends Higher in spight of all Pressures and Weights So did She notwithstanding all her Afflictions and no Mortal could be under greater than She was She was planted in the House of the Lord and Wonderfully even to the Admiration of all flourish'd in the Courts of our God And tho she had not arriv'd to Old Age she brought forth fruit in abundance in her young Age in the very Prime and Flower of her Years She vvas a Young a very Young Maid but an Old and through-experienc'd Saint so that She went to the Grave in a full Age like a Shock of Corn cometh in in its Season She had tho in a very short time fought a good Fight She had in the compass of a few Days finish'd her Course She had and that in Spight of all the Devils Assaults kept the Faith and now Oh! now She is gone to receive the Crown of Righteousness She is gone to Heaven to the Mansions of Glory in her Father's House whither her dearest Saviour went before her to prepare a place for her and there She is sitting down with Abraham Isaac and Jacob and all the Prophets in the Kingdom of her Father They wanted her Company and could no longer be without it indeed She was fitter much fitter for them than for such sinful Creatures as we Ah! peerless Saint whilst others are so slow And how to creep along do scarcely know Thou like a winged Arrow from the Bow Mounted aloft by Grace thou up to Heav'n didst go Sixteenthly And Lastly In a Word After Conviction She was altogether Heavenly Heavenly in her Looks Heavenly in her Speech Heavenly in her Carriage yea Heavenly in all and every part of her Life Heaven possest her Soul long before her Soul possest Heaven I may without the least Hyperbole say of her what Paul