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A36322 The mourner directory, guiding him to the middle way betwixt the two extreams, defect, excess of sorrow for his dead to which is added, The mourners soliloquy / by Thomas Doolittle ... Doolittle, Thomas, 1632?-1707. 1693 (1693) Wing D1888; ESTC R17535 114,706 250

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thy holy Word that if Christ be raised then those that sl●ep in Jesus shall also rise and if these shall not then Christ is not risen and if Christ be not risen we are all in our sins and all Preaching Praying Believing and all Religion is in vain which being absurd and false the other must be certain and sure And by the belief of this thanks be to my God I find I feel my Sorrow is turned into lively Hope earnest Desire and comforting Joy Besides this O my Soul be further satisfied and quieted within me forasmuch as thy Lord hath not only said that those that sleep in Jesus shall rise again but hath also foretold what Bodies they shall then be tho the same for substance yet their Properties Qualities and Endowments far more excellent than when they lived or died Dost thou sorrow because her Body was Mortal and did die why dost thou not rejoyce because it shall be raised Immortal and then shall die no more Art thou grieved at the remembrance of its weakness sickness and pains why art thou not comforted at the believing Foresight that it shall be raised a Powerful and Impassible Body and shall be sick and pained no more for ever Or art thou cast down because that Natural Body by Food and Physick could no longer be supported nor maintained in Life Why doth not this raise thy Comfort that it shall be raised a Spiritual Body and need Food and Physick and Sleep no more than the Angels in Heaven Is it matter of thy trouble to co●sider how vile and loathsom Death hath made it why doth it not delight thee to believe it shall be raised in such Glory that it shall shine as a glittering Star yea as the Sun in the Kingdom of God and that Beauty shall be its Cloathing all over Why doth so●row daily fill thy Heart because the Soul is gone and left the Body a lifeless piece of Earth a mass of breathless Mould and dost not rejoyce that the Soul already is made like to Christs Glorious Soul and the day is coming and it hastens when the Body shall be fashioned like to Christs glorious Body Like to Christs Glorious Body Lord who that doth believe these words of thine may not cease to sorrow in excess because now the Body is so like the dust in which it lodgeth and begin to joy that in thine appointed time it shall be like the Glorious Body of an exalted Jesus Holy Lord how great is the difference betwixt the same Man as if he were not the same when he looks upon his Dead with an Eye of Sense and Carnal Reason and when with an Eye of Faith according to thy Word For when I sit and muse and say Methinks I see how the Body of my dead lyeth in the Grave and how it mouldreth and consumeth I am a sad and sorrowful Man and my Heart is grieved within me but when I sit and consider and believe and say Methinks I see it Redeemed from the Grave methinks I see it raised an Immortal Powerful Spiritual Beautiful Glorious Body shining as the Sun and like to Christs Glorious Body I am a chearful joyful Man and Comfort flows abundantly into my Soul Moreover O my Soul thy Sorrow might be turned into Joy when thou dost believingly consider that rather than the Dead should always be captivated by Death and ever held by the bonds thereof the Lord HIMSELF will come down from Heaven and fetch them forth Rejoyce and be exceeding glad that when the appointed day is come the Lord Jesus will not stay nor rest in Heaven till he hath opened their Graves and delivered them from the Power of death Blessed Jesus Help me to rejoyce in thy Mighty Power and abundant Love in that because the raising of the Dead is a work too great for all the Angels in Heaven thou wilt come thy self and cause them to live again Methinks I hear thy Voice Ye Dead arise Methinks I hear the mighty Shout and the Trumpet sounding methinks I see the Lord in his Glory coming down from Heaven and calling to the Dead and methinks I see them in great numbers coming up out of their Graves He calls they tho dead do hear and tho dead at his Command do Live Lord at thy pleasure they fell into the Grave and at thy Voice they do come forth O powerful Voice Oh joyful glorious sight Oh the difference betwixt a Funeral and the Resurrection day the one was a sorrowful the other will be a joyful day Especially O my Soul when the day of Death was a parting day the day of the Resurrection will be a meeting day Thou and thine at Death did part and that did fill thy Heart with sorrow but then thou and thine shall meet again and never part Thou and thine that 's not all thou and thine shall meet the Lord in the Air. Wond●rful Bodi●s but now in the bottom of the Grave anon the same mounting up into the Air there to be owned acknowledged and openly acquitted and from thence to go along with their Lord Redeemer into the highest Heavens to be for ever with the Lord. Once in the Grave and after that with the Lord A long time in the Grave and after that long time is out and over be with the Lord for ever which never will be out and over O blessed Day O desirable Day Lord when shall it be When shall it come Dear Jesus gather in the chosen of the Father effectually all the number that is ordained to be with thee for ever and then come yea come quickly that those of thine that are sleeping in their Graves may awake and meet thee and be with the Lord for ever Thus O my Soul hast thou followed thy Dead unto the Grave and dost know and believe that this Body shall rise again and be an happy and glorious Body prepare to follow cease excessively to sorrow rejoyce in Hope that the Lord will come when his shall be with him for ever Be with with him for ever Are they now dead amongst the Dead and shall live with him for ever that doth live for ever Is not this it that Christ did bleed and sweat and suffer and die for Is not this it that Christ did rise from the dead for that those that sleep in him might also rise Is not this it for which he ascended to Heaven to prepare a place for them Is not this it for which he intercedes that all those that the Father hath given him might be where he is that they may behold his Glory Is not this it for which he will come again and take the Quick and Dead in him all of them unto himself that where he is there they might be also Lord hast thou said it and shall I not believe it Lord I believe help thou my Unbelief And dost thou indeed believe these sayings of thy Lord O my Soul and yet sit sorrowing with excessive sorrow for thy
therefore Sorrow for your selves and not for us But Earth is a place for Sorrow which we must tast in handling the first Doctrine and after we have pleased our selves with it from love to them we will endeavour and seek for Comfort as to them in the second CHAP. II. The First Doctrine proved by Scripture Instances and Reasons Doct. I. THE Actings and Workings of Sorrow in the Living for the Dead are allowed and lawful and ought to be For he saith not Do not sorrow at all this defect or want of sorrow is so far from becoming Christians that it is unworthy of a Man as a Man How incongruous is it for a Man to sorrow for a dead Beast that lays not to Heart the Death of a Child or of some nearer and greater Relation There are too many Stoicks in practice in this point that are not so in Opinion At the Losses of the World sorrow fills their Hearts you may see their Tears you may hear their Groans and bitter Complaints I am undone this Loss is my Ruine And the sense of this and sorrow for it shall last long m●y ●hey will not stick ●o tell you they shall never get over it but it will break their Hearts But these that melt like Wax for a Worldly Loss are as hard and sensless as a Stone not regarding the D●●th of a Wife of their Bosom of a Child of their Loins or a Brother from the same Parents but have a secret gladness in their Hearts when their Children die because they have the fewer to maintain or a weak and sickly Wife by Death is taken away because the burden of the charge is thereby eased Lord what kind of Christians are these that have not so much value for an Humane Body nor an Immortal Soul as for the more ignoble things of this World without Life or Sense or Reason This horrid and unnatural Sin against the Lives of their Parents is in too many Children who expecting the Possession of their Goods and Estates at their Death think they live too long long for their Decease and though they may cloath themselves in Mourning to follow them to their Graves yet secretly please themselves that they are gone and their Riches come to them Neither may any please themselves with Stoical Apathy or want of grief and sorrow for the Death of Relations because they were wicked and ungodly lived and died in Sin which should rather increase than diminish their mourning for them for must not that Man have an Heart of Stone that is neither moved for the Death of the Body nor for the Damnation of the Soul of any so near in relation to him Is it nothing to such a Man that the Body is consumed in the Grave and the Soul tormented in Hell Is it nothing that the Body is meat for Worms and the Soul a prey to Devils As there is no greater alleviation of our sorrow for the dead than well-grounded hope that the Soul is lodged with God above so there can be no greater aggravation of sorrow for the death of the Impenitent than the Thoughts that the Soul is Damned before the Body can be Buried Who or what manner of Man is he that can forbear to grieve and sorrow for the death of a Wife or a Son because she was a froward graceless or a wicked Wife or because he was a disobedient Son yet was not the one a Wife and the other a Son and both had Immortal Souls And if you had no ground to hope at death they were received into Heaven must not you conclude they were then cast down to Hell And take on and say Ah my Son my Son how miserable for ever miserable art thou my Son my Son Did I beget thee to be a prey for Devils to be Fuel for the Flames of Hell The Son of my Loins a part of my self is for ever lost because he died in his Sin He sinned and never repented he went on in Sin to his dying day and never turned to the Lord and when he died was condemned Oh my Bowels my Bowels for thee my departed Son thy Death I could have better born if Damnation after death by dying in thy Sin had not been thy Portion What! gone from me to Devils What! from my House to Hell While thou in Hell and I on Earth I cannot but sorrow on Earth when I think thou art tormented in Hell I have lost thee and that is bad and thou hast lost God and that is worse infinitely worse because the God that thou hast lost is infinitely good If you cannot sorrow for the death of a Relation because he was bad that will be no proof that you your self are good And if you justifie your self though you sorrow not at all do you not condemn the practice of David in mourning so much for an Incestuous Murderous and Rebellious Son because he died in his Sin and unprepared for Death and a better state in another World 2 Sam. 18.33 And the king was much moved and went up to the chamber over the gate and wept and as he went thus he said O my son Absolom my son my son Absolom would God I had died for thee O Absalom my son my son This is the first thing in the Survivers Carriage for the dead sorrow is allowed The defect is both their Sin and Shame That we may and ought to give a lodging to sorrow in our Breasts even for those whose Souls are lodged with God above and whose Bodies being lodged in the Grave do there sleep in Jesus will be apparent and justified by these Arguments pleading for it First The approved Practice and commendable Examples of Holy Persons Recorded in Sacred Scripture mourning and sorrowing for their deceased Relations Instances we find in the several respective Relations in which they stood while they did live together that the Surviving did mourn for not only in habit but in heart when death had parted ●h●●●●●der 1. 〈◊〉 Death had dissolved the Conjugal V●●●● be wixt ●usband and Wife the Surviving Husband that wa● la●●ly s●● mourned for his deceased Wife So Abraham for Sarah Gen. 23.2 And Sarah died in Kiriath-arba the same is Hebron in the land of Canaan and Abraham came to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her Tears for a departed Wife are not unworthy of a Man nor unbecoming but he that hath not a Tear to shed upon such a sorrowful occasion was unworthy of a Wife Abraham wept for Sarah So Wives for their Husbands The Tidings that Vriah was dead were grievous to Bathsheba and caused her to mourn 2 Sam. 11.26 When the wife of Vriah heard that her husband Vriah was dead she mourned for her husband Powerful Death hath made many sorrowful Hearts because it hath power to do that which all the Created Powers in Heaven and Earth could not do that is to separate those that God by his Institution had joined together This Knot of unfeigned Lovers
Hell and be partakers of Eternal Glory in Heaven And when you did not prevail with them did you go to your Knees and pray to God Lord change my Husbands Heart convert and sanctifie his Soul that when he dies he might not be Damned Lord shew my Son his Sin and Danger convince him melt and break his Heart for Sin awaken his Conscience make him feel the burden of his Sin now that he might not bear the heavy Load of thy powerful Wrath for ever Tho he should be Poor yet let him not be wicked if thou wilt not give him Riches yet give him thy Grace or if thou hast given him the one good Lord deny him not the other Afflict him in this World rather than Damn him in the next Deal as thou pleasest with him in Temporals but deny not my Prayer for him for Special Spiritual Grace and for the Eternal Salvation of his Soul If you did your Duty you may have peace on Earth tho he hath no rest in Hell And the remembrance of this may be your Comfort in your sorrow If you did not it is safer for you to sorrow that you sinned than that he is Damned while you neglect to sorrow for the neglect of your Duty in endeavouring to prevent his damnation Sorrow for his Misery will never help him out but penitent sorrow for your own Sin is one appointed means to escape that Misery you lament that he is in Q. 3. Which is most fitting in your Reason and Judgment That God should be just in the Damnation of an impenitent Sinner tho he were your Relation or that he should deal with his separated Soul in a way of Mercy contrary to his Truth because he was your Relation Is it not more sitting that God should punish him for ever for his sinal● unbelief and impenitent hardness of Heart tho he were your Husband or your Son than that God should viol●●e his own word in saving him in an unconverted state because he was your Husband or your Son Do not you know that God is no respecter of Persons Rom. 2.11 And would not this be a respect o● a Person to save him in his Sin when he died in his Sin meerly because he was while he li●ed so related unto you Think of this to quiet your Heart and make your sorrow less Passionate but more Rational and so more moderate For is not his damnation more grievous to you because he was yours than the damnation of another never related to you tho the Soul of the one is equally Immortal and Miserable as the other And why should you have harder Thoughts of God in your sorrow for punishing yours because yours than of punishing of others when yours were equally sinful in Life and equally impenitent at death as others were Q. 4. Is not God and Christ the only Saviour of Souls infinitely more merciful than you And yet if the Father of Mercies and the Saviour of Sinners do approve of the Damnation of your impenitent Husband or Wise Father or Mother Son or Daughter why should you be filled with turbulent disquieting sorrow Should you appoint to him the measures of his Mercy or the Persons he should shew it to Doth he owe it to you or them or any other Is it not free so that he may have Mercy on whom he will have Mercy and Compassion on whom he will have Compassion Rom. 9.15 May not God act as a just God but you will sorrow as if he were not a Merciful God If the most Merciful God and Compassionate Saviour approve of the Everlasting Punishment of your Impenitent Relations as an Act of Justice and therefore good and therefore amiable Why should you so excessively grieve as if your Mercy was beyond the Mercy of the Father and the Son Q. 5. Have not you more cause to Joy and Rejoice at to give Thanks and Praise to God for your well-grounded Hopes of Heaven than to disc●mpose your self for this W●rk by your vexing sorrow because others are lost without hopes of finding Mercy What if the nearest to you in Relation shall for their wilful final refusing of Remedying Grace perish for ever should not you admire and magnifie praise and celebrate the free distinguishing Grace and differencing Mercy of God to you that you shall be for ever saved And say Will God shew Eternal Mercy to me when he will pour out his Eternal Wrath upon my Father or Mother Brother or Sister Husband or Wife or Child What was I more than they that they should be Damned and I should be saved after Death Was not I equally involved in the Guilt of Adam 's Sin as they were Was not I born a Child of Wrath as well as they Was not my Heart as bad my Sin as great my Nature as corrupt as theirs was Was not I as backward to good as prone to evil as they were and it may be more too Should not I with others cry out and say Eph. 1.3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ who hath blessed us and me amongst them with spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ Should not I give thanks and praise to God for blessing me with such blessings which tend to Eternal Glory which Christ hath purchased promised prepared and possessed for me tho others near to me are Cursed with an Everlasting Curse in Hellish Places justly inflicted on them for their Sin and continuing finally Impenitent under the same And can you be lifted up in such high praises of your God for his Mercy to you when you are so cast down into depths of sorrow at the Thoughts of God's punishing Justice with others Q. 6. Do not the Holy Angels and Blessed Saints above know as much of the Torments of Hell and of the Misery of the Damned as you do and yet are they filled with such sorrow because of any being there as you are Do saved Souls above sorrow there because they do not find the Souls of others there whom they knew on Earth and were Related to that died before them As they do rejoice to see others there whom they were here acquainted with and Related to And will you pretend to be more Compassionate and Merciful than Angels and Saints in a perfect state of Bliss and Glory Q. 7. Shall not you your self being a Penitent Believer approve the Righteous Sentence of Damnation upon those that were your nearest Relations in this World but died impenitently in their Sins Do not you know the Saints shall judge the World final-unbelieving Men and Apostate Angels 1 Cor. 6.2 3. And shall you sorrow then or rejoice at the Condemning Sentence of Jesus Christ upon all the ungodly tho many of your Relations should be amongst them And if you are to come as near to pleasing of God and being pleased in what he doth now as what you shall hereafter be why should you have so much vexing sorrow at that now for which you shall
desirous that the Devil's Kingdom should be destroyed and the Kingdom of our Lord Jesus should be promoted and propagated must be mourners in Heart tho not in Habit at the death of those that God did please to use for the one and for the other 4. Such sorrow argueth our selves to be of a publick Spirit and not to have such little narrow Souls as to be only concerned for our Carnal Self-interest You are afflicted in your own Person or in your own Family and you sorrow and mourn who will thank you for it What Grace or good Nature is manifested in your selfish sorrow Or who will call this good Nature in you when you are so selfish to sorrow only for Self-concerns 5. The Labours of Godly Ministers in their Life have immediate reference to your holy Living to your happy Dying and to your Well-being to all Eternity Is there any thing in this World concerns you more than to lead an holy Life to die an happy death and to be saved when you die Do they die that should direct you in all these And is there no cause of sorrow for the death of such which puts an end to all their Labours CHAP. IX Resolves this Question When is our Sorrow for our Dead excessive and immoderate THe Second Part of the propounded Method in treating of this sorrowful Subject is to shew When our Sorrow for our Dead is excessive and immoderate That in some it is Defective especially in Spiritual Respects hath been already shewed and wherein it doth come short of what it ought to be that it is excessive and immoderate in others the Practice of many deprived of their Relations by Death is a visible Proof and the Caution and Charge given in the Text doth suppose that some do exceed the bounds and that their Tears do overflow the Banks of Moderation and make a Land-stood in their Families So far as it hath already been discovered to be turbulent it is excessive which here should be reviewed to which some more might be added The Apostle's Golden Rule should be our Christian Directory for the moderating of our Joy and Sorrow in having or losing the outward Enjoyments of this Life 1 Cor. 7.29 But this I say Brethren the timt is short it remaineth that both they that have wives be as though they had none 33. And those that weep as though they wept not and they that rejoice as though they rejoyced not and they that buy as though they possessed not and they that use this world as not abusing it for the fashion of this world passeth away In which Rule we might note these things 1. Some have their Wives Husbands Parents Children yet continuing with them Others have none because by death taken from them 2. Those that have them are apt to ●ver-joy in them those that have lost them are prone to over-sorrow for them 3. Those that have them shall shortly be in the same circumstances as those that are by death deprived of them Ours are dead and yours shortly will be so Life is so short and the end of all so near and sure that there is little and no long difference betwixt the state of one and of the other 4. Those that have Wives and other Relations should sometimes suppose themselves to be in the Circumstances of those that have none that the thoughts that shortly they shall have none might correct their excessive joy while they have them for though you have them you should he as though you had them not looking upon Relations that shortly will not be as if now already they were not is a point of prudence for the moderating of our joy in them Those that have them not should suppose this will be the case of those that have for the allaying of their sorrow that now this is their present state 5. The reasons of this indifferency of our Spirits in these different Circumstances of our Life 1. The time is short those that have Fathers and Mothers Wife Husband or Children shall have them but for a short time Why then are your hearts transported with so much joy when you might stand and see the end of them those that are deprived of them have themselves but a little time to live Why then are you so much cast down for so short a want of them 2. All these things are but as a shadow or an appearance of good rather than that good wherein our happiness doth lie and the solid spiritual abiding comfort of our life doth consist it is but the fashion of this world an accidental and External Figure without substance the surface and outside What is all that is in this world that is of the world but a meer surface and vain outside why then do we joy so much or sorrow so much whether we have them or be without them 3. They are in continual change like Water in the River is continually every moment passing away What! are these things neither substantial nor continual and shall we be over-affected with the having or the losing of them Christians should do as to Temporals as Worldings do in Spirituals these pray as if they prayed not they can confess sin and neith●r weep without nor sorrow within they are under the loss of the favour of God and yet are as contented as if they were not they can ask for an interest in Christ pardon of sin and eternal Salvation and yet not be much troubled for the present though they go without them for ever they can sit and hear the threatnings of God and never fear nor grieve can sit and hear the glad tidings of the Gospel and never rejoice hear all as if they heard them not or if they have some movings of Affections they are not deep they reach not the heart they do not break their hearts for sin against God nor for the loss of God so much as some do for the loss of a Creature Let such as are immoderately weeping for their dead stop their Tears that they may read compose t●eir minds for a while at first that they may consider what is said and command their Sorrow to give place to Reason and Religion or if they have not such command over it should earnestly pray to God that hath that they might at last not sorrow with such excess of sorrow as if they had no hope of the blessed present and future state of those they thus do sorrow for Let me propound some Questions to you and let Reason and Conscience in your Sorrow give in their Answer if it be not sorrow in excess Q. 1. Is your sorrow for your Dead so much as in the degrees of it tends to the shortning of your own Life and is it not then too much Is your Relation dead and will you therefore kill your self hath death broken the Relation you had in the Fifth Commandment and will you go on to transgress the Sixth hath Death killed one and will
so sur●ly our dead shall rise Comfort your selves and one anoth r with these words 2. Those that shall be found alive shall not prev●nt them that are asleep but the Dead shall be raised before the Living shall be changed they in their Graves shall have the precedency and preheminence before the Living and tho the one are dead and the other living yet the Dead shall be made Immortal and Incorruptible before the Living Comfort your selves and one another with these words 3. Rather than the Dead shall lye in their Graves for ever Christ as soon as the appointed time is come will Himself in his own Person come and with a shout with the Voice of the Archangel and sounding Trumpet call them out of their Graves and they shall hear and shall come forth Comfort your selves and one another with these words 4. When the Dead in Christ shall be raised and the Living changed they shall all be caught up together in the Clouds to meet the Lord in the Air and shall there be acquitted and absolved and adjudged to everlasting Life therefore comfort your selves and one another with these words 5. After this they shall go into the highest Heavens in Body and Soul to be with the Lord for ever wherefore comfort your selves and one another with these words Now upon the survey of the whole matter what have you most cause for your Sorrow or your Joy What if yours do not live with you is it not better that they died in the Lord than to live as such with you what if they are in the Grave for a while and after that shall be with the Lord for ever Cease Excessive Sorrowing and encourage and comfort your selves and one another as the Death of any requires with the lively Belief the joyful Hopes and often mention of this most Blessed Time and State CHAP. XVIII Additional Questions propounded to Mourners for the Moderating of Excessive Sorrow BUT if your Sorrow be Excessive after all these Remedies alleadged made known to us by Divine Revelation doth it not argue Want or Weakness of Faith and slowness of Heart to Believe If you do not believe will you reason the Case with your self that we may bring it to this Issue that your Immoderate Sorrow is irrational contrary both to Faith and Reason Which will appear by that time you consider the Matter well and give in a deliberate Answer to these following Questions briefly offered to you 1 Quest If a particular Resurrection now could be as formerly hath been would you desire that your Relations that died in the Lord might now be raised from the dead to live and dwell with you in your House upon Earth again If it were possible would you have your holy Father or Mother Husband or Wife raised as Jairus his Daughter Lazarus Tabitha and others were and come and sit at your Table and live with you in the same Circumstances as they did before If you would not how unreasonable is all your excessive Sorrow because they are dead and yet would not have them live with you again thô you may What! will nothing content you Is their restoration to Life now no matter of your desire and yet is their death such matter of so great abundant Sorrow Will you be pleased neither way concerning them dead or alive again If you would desire this do you consider what it is you do desire and how injurious you would be to them that you may have your will and as you say the comfort that before you had in them Tell me 1. Would you indeed have them from the glorious presence of God and Christ and the eternal Spirit to live with you Could they have that Delight and Joy in your Company as now they are filled with in the presence of their glorious God and Redeemer 2. Would you have them leave the Society of Angels and saved Souls above to come and dwell among sinfull men again 3. Would you indeed have them return from Rest to Trouble from Joy to Sorrow from Praising to Mourning 4. Now they have got out of the reach of Satans Temptations would you have them live here again to be buffeted again and tempted and assaulted by that roaring Lion And after they have got the Victory and won and wore the Crown would you have them to come into the Field again and conflict with the Powers of Darkness again 5. Were you grieved for them on their dying Beds to see what they endured and what cold Sweats the Pangs of Death did put them to and yet would you have them live again that they may die again Do you sorrow that they have died once and will you sorrow on except you could have them live again that they may die twice would you have them have two deaths for one Is this your Love to them 6. Is once mourning for them so grievous and would you have them live again and so die again and you Mourn again for their Second dying if you should out live them or leave them behind you for them to Mourn for you whereas where they are now they have done Mourning and are strangers to it 7. Would not you be more Kind to your self and them to prepare and desire to go to them than to have them return to you if such a thing could be Do not you know which to choose and yet sorrow in this manner 2 Q. If you would have them Live again can your sorrow multiplyed ten times more help you to your Will May you not by this sorrow bring your self to the Grave sooner than fetch them out Say what good this excessive sorrow doth or else moderate it 3 Q. Who hath done this that you mourn so much for Was it not by the Providence of God And will you quarrel with him or call him to an account why he hath done so Or should not his Hand quiet your Heart Read Job 33.13 1 Sam. 3.18 Psal 39.9 4 Q. Do not you hereby contradict your Prayers Do not you pray his Will might be done and submitted to when it 's done Do not you see it was his Will to have your Relation from you and is this your submission to it Is it so done in Heaven as you do it upon Earth 5 Q. Hath God herein taken any from you but what he first gave unto you Who gave you your Children or Husband or Wife were they not the Gifts of God Did not this quiet Job Chap. 1.21 6 Q. Whose was He or She that is dead that you so Immoderately do Mourn for Do you say it was my Child my Father or my Mother my Husband or my Wife If it had not been mine I should not thus have mourned But were they not Gods own more than your own When God gave them you did he give away his own right Might not God do what he will with his own but you must take on as if he had taken something he had no right unto What
it on God ●e●● 〈◊〉 one Child by Death and you ●ave ●o sens os the breach made in your Hous● nor sorro● for it you do not feel the smarting 〈◊〉 God removes a second and y●t y●u do not f●●l it God proceeds from a Child to a Wife and yet you do not feel it n●xt he comes unto your sels and then you feel and lays you dead also and makes you as to your Body till the Resurrection to be past feeling 9. Want of Sorrow in this Case makes you worse than many Heathens They sorrow too much and you too little They are excessive the Man called Christian is defective in his Sorrow They act more like men the Christian so called worse than the Bruits who shew their Sense and Sorrow when deprived of their young 10. Want of Sorrow in this Case fills Funerals with Dissemblers and they follow the Corps acting the Hypocrite openly in the Streets he walks with Mourning on his Head and Back and Hands without mourning in his Heart Others think he sorrows but he knows he doth not and yet he pretends he doth if People knew him as he knows himself would say either get a mourning Heart or put off your mourning Robes If I have said in your Judgment too much upon the want of Sorrow bear with me for I have said it out of a detestation in my heart of such more than brutish Temper in many towards their deceased Relations worthy to be lamented when yet the better they were by some are sorrowed for the less If you think there are none guilty in this Case it is a sign you are not much acquainted with People in the World CHAP. V. Resolves this Question When is our Sorrow for our Dead kindly and pleasing unto God and when a turbulent Passion and vexation of Spirit and provoking to God USE II. IF your hearts be filled with Sorrow for your Dead and with a Sense of God's hand upon you examine your Sorrow what manner of Sorrow it is For Sorrow meerly as Sorrow I have not been pleading for nor reproving the want of under such a smarting Dispensation of Divine Providence which may be the better managed by resolving the second Question propounded which is this When is our Sorrow for the Dead kindly and pleasing unto God And when a turbulent Passion a v●xation of Spirit and provoking to God Ans 1. Kindly Sorrow for our Dead and pleasing unto God is joyned with lively Prayer What is all our weeping for them in the Grave without praying to God in Heaven What is all our Lamentation for them without Supplication to God And the more kindly your Sorrow is the more your Heart will relent and melt and the more servent your Spirit in Prayer will be While they were in their Health with you it may be you tendered up Sick prayers to God when they did live your Prayers were dead and dull and slothful Prayers when they were waking with you you prayed with them in a drowsy sleepy manner when God roused you by their Death you prayed after with more Life when they fell asleep God awaked you to more earnest and importunate Pleadings with him at the Throne of Grace If fear lest Mother and Children should be put to death by Esau moved Jacob to mix his fearing and sorrowing with Prayer and Wrestling should not feeling of the stroke of Death upon a Mother a Wife a Child put us on to the like praying to and pleading with God If he when his case only was it may be they must die now should not we when we must say He or she is already dead If he did it to preserve life may not we for the loss of their Life He for the good of Preservation we under the sense of our Af●l ction Gen. 32.9 10 11 24 25 26. Hos 12.4 He wept and made supplication to him Job lost ten Children in one day to express his Sorrow he rent his mantle and shaved his head and fell down upon the ground all which he did not under all his former losses till the sad tidings of the Deat● of his Children were brought unto him And in all this great Sorrow what did he do He worshipped he bowed down before God and gave Divine Worship unto him by Prayer and Praise Job 1.19 20 21. in all this he pleased God for in all this he sinned not ver 22. What if we weep night and day but pray not neither night nor day What if we pour out our Tears but do not pour out a Prayer Could we weep our selves blind kill our selves with Sorrow or rent our Garments and wring our Hands and tear our Hair and never Worship all this is exorbitant Sorrow turbulent Passion neither profitable to our selves nor pleasing to God nor advantagi●us to the Dead Some Persons when one lieth dead in the House tho on a Lord's day will stay at home and weep but not go out and worship God in Holy Duties but when you have any dead it is better drop your Tears into God's Bottle than with them wash your own Faces or wet your Hankerchief from such turbulent Sorrow Ans 2. Kindly Sorrow in this Case will usher in Sorrow for our Sin especially such Sins as at such a time come to our Thoughts relating to the Persons w●ose Death we mourn for as neglect of our Duty to them unjust and ungrounded grieving of them or any sinful and unsutable Carriage towards them when they lived with us As do I mourn for the dead Corps I will shed my Tears for omission of my Duty for the good of the living Soul That I did not instruct them nor did I pray with them nor for them did not teach them how to live nor help them to prepare to die When Nathan came to David his Child died when David was convinced of his Sin for which his Child did dye David turns his Sorrow for his dead Child into Sorrow for his Sin and laments and weeps and wails for the one much more than for the other Psalm 51. Title and Psalm compared So you Shall I lament my dead child and not my dead heart shall I shed tears because it is under the power of natural Death and have not I one tear to drop because my Soul is under the power of spiritual Death Do I look upon its pale Face and feel its cold Flesh and thereby pierce my self through with many and bitter Sorrows And do I feel my own cold Affections to God and Christ and all that is good Do I see the deformity of my Soul by reason of Sin and am I more loathsome in the sight of a pure and holy God by reason of my sin and shall I be grieved more for the lesser than the greater evil Is it not sin that hath captivated my Soul worse than Death that hath taken my Wife or Husband my Father and Mother and carry them Prisoners to the Grave O my Soul correct thy Sorrow and
my duty and I will obey Ans 4. In ki●dly Sorrow for the dead the heart is much quieted by returns of prayers made by God to the Requests that in our Sorrow we made to him When we prayed while they lived and we prayed that they might longer live if our Prayers were consistent with his purpose or that by his Grace and Spirit he would help them to dye prepared and to make an happy and comfortable end and give us grounds of hope that if they may not live with us on Earth they should live with him in Heaven That if God would take them from us he would take them to himself out of ours into Abraham 's Bosom The one he did deny which we thought would have been good for us that live the other he did grant which in sober Reason and in a composed Mind we cannot but judge to be better for them they did dye contrary to our prayers they did dye with peace and comfort and hope of Heaven according to our prayers in our kindly Sorrow for them when dead the Heart is much quieted the Mind composed we grive but are sedate we Mourn but the Spirit is calm within we Sorrow with bitter sorrow but our Sorrow is sweetned that when God did deny our prayers he did hear our prayers when he denied them in one kind he heard them in another which in his Wisdom he saw best for the Persons prayed for Thus David praying and fasting and mourning for his Child when Sick that it might live or be saved if it died when it was dead his heart was quiet in hopes that his Prayers were heard that tho the Body was for the Grave yet the Soul was for Heaven whither he also hoped he himself should go to it So after the Relation is dead we go and pray against the Workings of Corruption by reason of God's Dispensation that we might not murmur nor repine nor charge God foolishly for his dealings with us we find Sin stirring we cry to God and they are crushed we feel Temptations assaulting of us we call to Heaven s●t help to resist them and they are repelled we are sensible of our own weakness with Patience and due Submission to bear so great a Trial God by his Grace comes and makes it more easie than we thought it could have been our sorrow for our dead being kindly sorrow gives place to our minding of these returns of Prayer that in my sorrow I have so much leisure for consideration as to observe and say Tho God hath taken away my dear Relation for whom I prayed and therefore do sorrow yet he hath taken away my S●n and taken ●own the power of it against which I prayed t●a● in my sorrow I might not sin and my sorrow shall not s● far blind me that I should not s●e what at my Prayers God hath done for me He hath taken my Relation from me but I have prayed he would not take away himself nor his quickning Spirit nor the sense of his Love and he hath not the Creature is gone from me but God continues with me the one I shall see no more in this World but God I often since have conversed with and he hath shewed his Love to me and such returns must quiet my Heart in the time of my grief and sorrow But turbulent sorrow not meerly natural but becoming Vitious and Exorbitant by the workings of Corrupt Nature stirred up by the grievousness of our Affl●ction hinders the exercise of Grace and blind● us that we cannot see nay makes us to deny that God doth hear our Prayers though he doth while our Affliction do●h remain Job 9.16 If I had called and he had answered me yet would I not believe that he had hearkened to my voice God takes a Mercy from you and yet he gives demonstrations of his Love unto you but in your turbulent sorrow you say You will not believe that God is reconciled to you you will not believe but his anger and displ●asure is kindled and burns against you He he●rs your Prayers but you cannot see it and you will not believe it This is sorrow not of meer but of corrupt Nature Ans 5. In kindly sorrow for our dead there will be an hearkning to and a receiving of Alleviations of our sorrow propounded to us by men upon grounds of Reason and Religion Arguments for ●●●●gating of our g●●●f from the Promises of God from the common case of all Men even most beloved of God that they have died as Abraham Isaac and Jacob Moses Aaron and Samuel the Prophets Apostles and all believing Primitive Christians and more still must From the happy state of those that die in the Lord the Evils they are delivered from the Good they are possessed of the Joys they are filled with the Holy Heavenly Work they are imployed in will find Entertainment with you and will be hearkened to and considered by you But turbulent Passions of corrupt Nature will put by all that tends to the asswaging of it after all Arguments from Reason and all Topicks from Religion will refuse to be comforted Thus Jacob's sorrow for Joseph when he supposed he was dead was too Exorbitant when all his Sons and all his Daughters rose up to comfort him and he refused to be comsorted When if they had not spoken one word of Comfort to him the very sight of so many Sons and Daughters living might have asswaged his sorrow for one supposed to be dead Gen. 37.33 34 35. So Rachel Jer. 31.15 A voice was heard in Ramah lamentation and bitter weeping Rachel weeping for her children refused to be comforted for her children because they were not A●s 6. In kindly sorrow for our dead we shall be more ready to justifie God in his dealings with us and rather accuse our selves than him and say The Lord is righteous in his ways and holy in all his works I have sinned but he is just I am bad but he is good and though I think his Hand is heavy upon me yet he hath laid less upon me than mine I●iquities have deserved Hath he laid my Relations in the Grave he might have lodged me in Hell Hath he denied longer Life to one I could have wished might have longer lived he might deny to me Eternal Life Hath he bereaved me of the Comforts of a Creature he might deny me all the Comforts of his Spirit Doth Natural Affection move me to mourn for my Loss so Natural Reason teacheth me that God herein hath done me no wrong because all is his own in that he is the Maker of all and the Light of Nature doth instruct me God might give or take away whatsoever is his own and I may not call him to an account saying to him What dost thou or why hast thou done so And whilst my sorrow is not yet ris●n to be tu●bulent I have leisure to look what Scripture saith and to see what the light of Grace doth shew That
our Sorrow for our Dead Spiritually defective tho it be naturally abundant Or when is it too little as we are Christians be it never so much as we are Men Ans 1. When we sorrow for the breach of the Relation made by death we sorrow as men tho in great abundance for so an Heathen may do but do not sorrow for Sin as Sin committed against God in the neglect of our Relative Duties while the Relation was continued for so only Christians can do Tho our Natural Sorrow doth abound in the first respect it is spiritually defective in the latter respect Two things taken for granted 1. Here it is taken for granted That the most Loving Relations may Sin and fail in their Relative Duties one to another for as much as we cannot yield perfect Obedience to any one of the Ten Commandments among which the Fifth contains Relative Duties And who can say tho I have transgressed all the rest yet this I have perfectly fulfilled I have heard that some have asserted that they have lived Twenty or Forty years in a Conjugal Relation without an angry word or unkind act betwixt them if so might not we say O peaceable Spirits that were in these O rare Example and seldom found But be it so is there no other Sin in these Relations but anger and angry words What! Did they pray also daily together or as much one for another as they ought and as fervently as they should Did they by all ways and means appointed by God help each other in their Spiritual Concerns as Duty did require Were there never no sinful Thoughts in their Minds one against another there is one can tell you his sinful Thoughts against some Related to him hath filled his Heart with more sorrow his Eyes with Tears and his Mouth with secret Confessions to God and cost him more Sighs and Sobs and Groans in pleading for Pardon for the Sin of his Thoughts tho resisted than any angry Words or unkind Actions ever did For the one might be more easily prevented than the other because we have a more absolute government over our Tongues and Hands than over our Thoughts What! Can any Persons in any Relation suppose Husband and Wife Parents and Children say they did never Love too much or at no time too little never did take too much care or never too little for their Relations but had that just proportion and measure of Love to them and Care for them as the perfect Rule requires So much as God commanded and no more than God allowed For my part my Prayer shall be Lord forgive my Relative Sins whilst others boast and bless themselves and say O God I thank thee I am not in this as other Men be nor as this Man And Lord let not me be as Blind as that Man that can see no Relative Sins to confess to thee or to be humbled for at thy Throne of Grace when thou wilt find some to judge him for at the Bar of thy Justice 2. The reigning Sins or Sins of Infirmities what they were or are in their kinds degrees frequency and all Aggravations committed in our respective Relations must be left to the scrutiny of every man's Conscience or to God that was an Eye-witness if Conscience was fallen asleep and will be an Impartial Judge if Conscience for the present perform not its Office of Witness Accuser and Judge These being granted that your Father or Mother Husband or Wife or Child is dead you sorrow and grieve you weep and wall you lament and mourn there is your Humanity and Natural Passion because your Relation is broke but where is your Christianity in this sorrow when you had not one Tear amongst so many for the Sins against God and them while you stood in that Relation And yet do not you see while your natural sorrow is abundant your Spiritual sorrow is defective or none at all in this respect Where are your Tears for your disobedience to your Father or Mother when alive Where is the Husband's sorrow for undue and unjust grieving of his Wife sadning her Heart and sending her by his unkindness to her Knees in secret to open her Case and pour out her Tears and Soul before God in Prayer Did you without cause make her weep when alive and shall not this in all your sorrow for her when dead make you sorrow for sinning against God and her before she died According as your Relative Sins were more or less greater or smaller when the Relation held it 's time it 's high time to sorrow for them when by death it is broke and so shew your self a Christian as well as a Man in sorrowing for your dead And do this now if you have not hitherto tho your Father or Mother Husband or Wife or Child be long since dead and turned into dust their rotted Flesh and dry Bones and bare Skull in the Grave do cry to God against you Therefore while you sorrow for their dead Bodies sorrow also for your own sinful Souls because you sinned so much against them in their Life-time 2. When you mourn for the loss of that comfort and delight that you had in loving of them and in being beloved by them be your Sorrow never so much you sorrow only as Men for so an Heathen might do but you sorrow not for the Displeasure of God by reason of those Sins which Conscience doth justly and truly charge you with committed in that Relation your Sorrow is defective as you are Christians You sinned as you were an Husband and for your sin God was displeased you sinned as you were a Father or a Mother and God was displeased for your Sin you sinned as you were a Son or a Daughter and for your Sin God was displeased and God hath by Death taken away your Wife your Child your Father or Mother you Sorrow because they are dead with great Sorrow and herein you do no more than a Man or Woman as such might do but you do not Sorrow that God is displeased which is not so much as a Christian should do You Sorrow because you are afflicted but where is your Sorrow because God is displeased You have many Tears for the loss of your Creature-comforts but have you dropped one for the loss of that Comfort that should arise from the sense of the Love of God unto your Soul You mourn for the smarting Rod that lies upon you Nature Flesh and Blood will make you feel the smart and cry out because of it but you do not grieve that by the Sin in your Relation you grieved the Spirit of God that Grace must inable you to do Are not you herein like unto a Child that is scourged by his Father he cries aloud he weeps and sobs he groans but what is it for Not because his Father is displeased this he is not troubled at but because of the smart and pain that the Rod doth make him so sensible of Do
deeply how great it is Rule 5. A Wicked Husband that is a constant Curse and a daily Cross unto his whole Family whose Wife is in a worse condition for Body and Soul than if she were a Widow and whose Children by reason of his want of Affection to them and Care for them are more exposed to Ruine than if they were Fatherless leaves little reason behind him why they should grieve and sorrow for his Death upon their own accounts For who can sorrow for a deliverance from a daily Cross Who can grieve for being eased of a Burden under which they so long did groan Who can sorrow upon their own account that one is gone that did rather Hate than Love them and filled their Hearts with daily sorrow their Eyes with flowing Tears and their Mouths with Heart-piercing Complaints And why should any dissemble sorrow for such by whose Wickedness and Sin against God and the Family God was dishonoured and the Family ruined when by death he is taken off from doing so upon Earth any more Do you ask who ever taught this Doctrine before Job did Job 27.13 This is the portion of a wicked Man with God and the Heritage of Oppressors which they shall receive of the Almighty 15. Those that remain of him shall be buried in death and his Widows shall not weep Were there ●ver any such Widows Yes Psal 78.64 Their Priests fell by the Sword and their Widows made no Lamentation Rule 6. In mourning for such Relations that neither did their Duty to God nor to their Family but lived to God's dishonour and their daily grief and died without Repentance for both our sorrow must be for their sakes and not our own For the ungodly and unnatural as dying impenitently in their Sins and for the Loss of their Souls and Misery in the other World as David did for Absolom for tho our grief for them cannot mitigate their Torments nor our Tears quench their Fire yet it cannot but be a grief to us that our Relations should live and die in their Rebellion against God and neglect of their Duties towards us but did dishonour God whom they should have glorified and overthrew the Family by their Sin and Wicked Lives which they should have built up and maintained And as for their Sin while they lived so dying impenitent for their Misery after death The death of some puts an end to those Troubles and Disquiet and Crosses which they caused in their Families while they lived that for their own sakes the Living cannot find a reason why they should mourn because they are dead But when they consider their death was the beginning of their Intolerable and Eternal Misery for their sakes they cannot but give place to sorrow ●or while these Thoughts are working my Husband is dead and his Soul is Damned it will be hard to keep sorrow from the Heart And tho such sorrow doth not profit the Damned Soul yet unaccountable sorrow is not easily cast off Nor can we always cease to sorrow when we cannot give a reason of any good that is the fruit of our sorrow But yet a reason will be here suggested it was my Husband or Wife or Son or Daughter that lived wickedly and died impenitently and the Soul of one so near is lost is for ever lost And Religion teaching us that the Souls of such are miserable Nature will be working in us to lament their Misery and this is sorrow for their sakes Rule 7. In mourning for those that lived holily towards God and Conscientiously in their Relative Duties towards us our sorrow is for our own sakes more than for theirs The common saying our Loss is their Gain teacheth that the sorrow is for the Loser and not for the Gainer And indeed if we search to the bottom of our sorrow to find the reason of our sorrow for those that lived to the Lord and died in the Lord and after death do live gloriously and happily with the Lord it will appear we are sorrowing more for our selves than for them We call it mourning for the dead when it is indeed mourning for our selves yet living for let us enquire 1. Do we mourn because their Souls are perfectly Holy and Happy with God and Christ above No this is matter of our Comfort Delight and Joy Did not we earnestly pray for them sick and well that when they left Earth they might be received up to Heaven And do we sorrow that God heard our Prayers and hath saved their Souls Do we thus take on for this Are our Tears shed because God hath Crowned their Grace with Glory Are we grieving on Earth because they are rejoicing in Heaven Are we groaning here because they are triumphing there For shame we cannot say this is the reason and ground of our sorrow and that in this respect it is plain we do not sorrow for their sakes 2. Do we mourn because they are fallen asleep in Jesus Because they are gone to rest in their Beds Because their Bodies in that state in which they are remain united to Christ Are these grounds of sorrow Should we weep and waste our Tears because these things are said of them Or is it not matter of Comfort and Joy unto us that it is so well with their very Bodies as these things declared by God himself do import unto us Is it not better to die in Christ than to live in Sin Is it not better to sleep in Jesus than to be naturally awake and spiritually asleep in Sin Is it not better for the Body to lye still and rest free from Actings of Sin than to be able to walk in a constant course of wickedness Is it not more matter of Comfort to have the Bodies of our Friends united to Christ in the Grave than to have our Relations above ground separated from Christ and not united to him If it be let us cease over-sorrowing for them with whom it is better tho in the Grave and begin to sorrow for those with whom it is worse tho they live with us Which is matter of greater sorrow a departed Saint or a living Sinner And shall we drop more Tears for one departed Saint than for twenty living wicked Relations Why so When all these wicked ones are in danger of Hell but the departed Saint is past that danger The ungodly that do live are in danger of Eternal Torments both as to Body and Soul The departed Saint is past the danger thereof both as to Body and Soul For when the Soul is once safe in Heaven the Body is for ever past all danger of Hell Is this it that we sorrow for No verily we do give thanks to God that the Body is in these Circumstances though in the Grave But you say you mourn because they are dead and taken from us Dead But are not we sp●●king to Believers that live concerning depart●●●●liev●rs And should not we beli●v● what God saith concerning them And think and
you kill another and so bring in Death upon Death into your Family and invite and call it in to make Freach upon Breach Do you complain of Deaths doings and will you do as Death hath done do you grieve and sorrow for the death of another and by your grief and sorrow will you be your own death and yet not yield your sorrow is too much do you sorrow because yours are lodged in the Grave and do you thus hasten to go to them though God hath put an end to their lives yet hath not he bound you by all lawful means to preserve your own and to avoid whatsoever hath so great a tendency to cut it short or do not you know that excessive grief often is the cause of death Did you never read in the Bills of Mortality that some that many have died with grief and killed themselves with sorrow or did you never mind the difference given by the Apostle betwixt godly sorrow and sorrow of the World for worldly Losses and is not your sorrow such in th●s case 2 Cor. 7.10 for godly sorrow worketh r●pentance to salvation not to be repented of but the sorrow of the world worketh death That sorrow that is for worldly losses and crosses proceeding from the over-much love of these Creature-Comforts doth hu●● the Body and hasten death temporal and doth wrong the Soul because sinful and doth deserve death eternal for the wages of every sin is death temporal and eternal Rom. 6.23 and will you so sorrow for another dead body as thereby to deserve the damnation of your own Soul and yet not say it is too much When your Spirit is broken your heart is broken how can you live and what will break it Prov. 15.13 By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken Prov. 17.22 A broken spirit drieth the bones Psal 6.7 My eye is consumed because of grief Immoderate sorrow drieth the Bones breaks the Heart preys upon the Spirits consumeth the Vital Parts and by all hastens death and therefore not to be cherished but avoided Q. 2. Is not that sorrow that must be sorrowed for exc●ssive sorrow See the strait you bring your self into You sorrow too much and because you do so you must sorrow more and so add sorrow to sorrow ' when it is and because it is too much already you have more than you ought and yet you have not so much as you should you must have sorrow for your sorrow and yet you want sorrow for your sorrow Your eyes run down with tears for your dead more than they should and when you should weep for your excessive sorrow you ha●e not a tear to shed Why do you waste your tears for what and more than you should and then want tears for what you ought to shed them for Excessive sorrow is a sin because it is excessive and sinful sorrow must be sorrowed for and repented of or how will you else get the pardon of that known Sin What do you mean then by sorrow to draw on sorrow and so to weep that you must weep over your weeping and to shed tears over again for the tears that you have shed if you cannot bear this sorrow that you are filled with already why by this sorrow do you make way for more and fo depth of sorrow calling for depth of sorrow you at last must swim in tears where you cannot wade through Q 3. Is not that sorrow too much that doth hurt and no good is sorrow good in it self as sorrow Then all sorrow would be good Whereas much sorrow is often evil and too much is always evil because as such it doth hurt and not good Whom doth your sorrow do good unto not to your dead be it never so much not to your Relations that live for you grieve them by over grieving and makes your company a burthen and unprofitable to them not to your self neither to Body o● to Soul for it is prejudicial unto both as before was made manifest Q. 4. Is not that sorrow too much for your dead which would be too much for your sin Many are defective in sorrowing for sin few sorrow too much for sin yet men may be and some are excessive in their sorrow for sin insomuch that their sorrow for sin is turned into sinful sorrow as when they are so overwhelmed with sorrow for sin as unsits them for other Gospel Duties and drives them from Christ and sinks them into despair which sorrow is excessive and God gives caution and charge against such sorrow sor our sin 2 Cor 2.7 So that cantrariwise ye ought rather to forgive him and comfort him lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with ov●rmuch sorrow When sorrow for sin doth more hurt than good it is over-much and so is our sorrow for our dead Q. 5. Is not that sorrow too much for your dead which is more than you have for your sin Is not sorrow upon the account of some present evil that is upon us as joy is for some present good and should not the degree of our sorrow bear some proportion to the greatness of the evil that is the cause and reason of our sorrow Is not sin against God a greater evil than any besides sin doth fall upon us Is not your own dead heart and cold affections towards God a greater evil than the dead Corps and cold Flesh in the Grave which is the cause of all this sorrow Now when your sorrow is more for the lesser evil than it is for the greater judge if your sorrow for the greater is not too small and your sorrow for the lesser● over-much and excessive Q. 6. Is not that sorrow over-much which carries our thoughts down into the Grave to think of their Dead Corps but hinders them from ascending into Heaven to meditate upon the the Eternal Ever-living God What a shame and reproach is it to us that a dead Wife or a dead Child or a dead Father or Mother should have more of our Thoughts than God and Christ and things above and that the Bodies of our departed Relations consuming in their Graves should have more of our thoughts than their Souls triumphing in Heaven have that it is so our excessive sorrow doth testifie to our faces for we cannot say nor do pretend to sorrow for the Soul in Heaven is it not then for the Body in the Grave And why should not the Joy the Immortal part is filled with abate our Sorrow for the Corruptible part though it be consuming if our thoughts were as much with the Soul in Heaven as they are with the Body in the Grave Let these Excessive Mourners ingenuously confess if they have not twenty thoughts of the Dead Body for one serious heart affecting Thought they have of God and Christ and the living triumphant Soul above for would not the one cause Joy as others do Sorrow and so our Joy mitigate be equal to or exceed our Sorrow if it be
not so it is easy to judge your sorrow is over-much Q. 7. Is not your sorrow over-much when it hinders you and keeps you from rejoycing in God from praising of him and giving thanks unto him for the mercies you have mixed with your affliction Have not you more Mercies left than you have lost have not you greaeter Mercies continued than are removed is your Earthly Father dead but have not you still a Father in Heaven is your Wife dead but is not your Soul married to Christ and though the Conjugal Union be broken by Death yet doth not the Mystical Union betwixt Christ and you still remain have not you the pardon of Sin the favour of God the sense of his Love and Hopes of Heaven seriously set these over against your Dead and say if you have not more cause to rejoice in God and give him thanks for these than you have to mourn for your Dead and whether God doth not command you more and give you a stricter charge sor these to rejoice in him than to mourn for your Dead and consequently is the grand constant Duty you owe to God all the days of your Life and are you so much indebted to your dead as you are to the Living God Was their Life of so much worth to you as your Relation to God is and your Receivings from him see your Duty and cease from that which hinders your performance of it Phil. 3.1 Finally my Brethren rejoice in the Lord. Whatsoever state you are in serve God with joyful hearts Phil. 4.4 Rejoice in the Lord alway and again I say rejoice Always rejoice in the Lord What wh●n my Father or Mother or Child Wife or Husband lieth dead in my House or is newly lodged in the Grave Is it not alway you are commanded to rejoice is there this Exception when you have any Relation dead that then this should be no Duty Have not Christians always greater cause of rejoycing in the Lord than they have of sorrow for Worldly Losses is not holy joy in the Lord and a thankful praising of God the very Flower of Religion and makes us most like the Angels and Saints above but can you thus rejoice and praise and magnifie God and triumph in his Love and Grace when you are overwhelmed with sorrow for the loss of Worldly Comforts and is not that sorrow too much that unfits you for this constant standing Duty 1 Thes 5.16 Rejoice evermore 17. Pray without ceasing 18. In every thing give thanks for this is the will of God in Jesus Christ concerning you Whatever a true Believer doth lose he should rejoice because the Grounds and Reasons and Causes of Joy do still remain and in every Case and Condition of life should give thanks to God for as much as the Good that continueth to him doth exceed the Evils that do befal him This is God's revealed Will making it our Duty for the great Blessings we receive from him by Christ Job's sorrow for the loss of ten Children in one day by a strange unusual death added to all his former Losses making his Case more sorrowful than yours was kept within such Bounds as that he was able even then to bless and praise the Lord. Job 1.19 They are dead 21. He said naked came I out of my mother's womb and naked shall I return thither the Lord gave and the Lord hath taken away blessed be the name of the Lord. In your sorrow try if you can do so if not judge whether it be not over-much Q. 8. Is not that sorrow for your dead over-much which doth deaden your Heart towards God in all Holy Duties You were wont to pray with a lively Heart and to hear the Word of God with warm Affections but now you pray with a dead Heart and hear with dull Affections Your Love and Desires and Delights are become as cold in your Duties as your Relations Corps are in the Grave What have you done in your sorrow taken away a lively Heart towards God and laid a dead Child a dead Father or Wife in the room of it Like the Woman in Solomon's Reign whose Child did die in the Night and there being another Woman in the House that had a living Child rose and while the living Child's Mother did sl●ep took her living Child out of her Bosom and laid her dead Child in her Bosom in the room of the living Child But these two Women contended before Solomon one saying The living Child is mine but the dead Child is thine the other also said The dead Child is thine but the living Child is mine 1 Kings 3.16 to 24. Solomon commanded a Sword to be brought to divide the living Child and to give half to the one and half to the other The true Mothers Bowels yearning towards her Child said O my Lord give her the living Child and by no means slay it the other said Let it be neither mine nor thine but divide it whereby the King discerned the Natural Mother and commanded the living Child to be given to her ver 24 25 26 27. Love filled your Heart to your living Child Sorrow fills your Heart for your dead Child You had a lively frame of Heart when your Child was living but now it is dead through over-much sorrow you have laid your dead Child in your Bosom in the room of that Activity of Soul that before you had towards God and you lay claim to the dead Child this dead Child is my Child Alas this Child that is dead is mine But whose is your H●art and Love God's or your Child's Take heed this be not the true answer during this fit of excessive sorrow it is not all God's ●or all the Child's but you have divided it between both and given half to the Living God and half to the Dead Child That sorrow that causeth you to make this division is excessive sorrow Q. 9. Is not that sorrow for your dead over-much when it all runs out to them that you are not sensible of nor concerned for the Calamities of the Church nor Afflictions and Sufferings of the People of God All your sorrow is contracted and all your Tears run in this one Channel for your dead Father or Mother Husband Wife or Children are not the Concerns of the Church of God greater than your selfish Matters Are not the Sufferings and Calamities Martyrdom by Burning and Wracking and Torturing of many dear to God greater Evils than the Natural death of your Relations Did Christ shed his Blood for his Church and amongst all your Tears for your dead cannot you drop one for the Suffering Church of God Are Men shedding their Blood and for this cannot you shed a Tear when you have so many for one dead Child or Husband or Wife Should not the Concerns of the Glory of God in Publick Affairs lye nearer your Heart than a dead Relation and wound deeper and make you sorrow more You are ready to die with
Tho ma●y things might be had out of the whole Word of God which would much enlarge this Discourse yet I shall that I may Contract pick up the Apostles Arguments in the Text and following Verses of this Chapter as Alleviations of sorrow in this Case because therein he treats designedly upon this Subject Concerning which it is as if he had said Those that are ignorant of or do not believe the Resurrection of the D●ad and a better Life hereafter have ever sorrowful Thoughts of those that are taken away by Death and mourn for them to excess But I would not have you to cherish and maintain such immoderate sorrows by Ignorance of their Case at present and hereafter The Helps against Immoderate Sorrow for our dead given in this Chapter might be reduced to these Four General Heads of Argument 1. The consideration of the state of the Bodies of departed Believers They are fallen asleep and if they sleep in Jesus as they do v. 14. they shall do well 2. The Knowledge and Belief of the state of the separated Soul Their Souls are with Christ Triumphant in Heaven while their Bodies are sleeping in the Grave and these Souls he will bring back with him when he comes 3. The certainty of the Resurrection of the Dead by the Re-union of the same Souls with the same Bodies and so Christ will bring the entire Man with him at the day of Judgment Thus the Hope in the Text is the Hope of the Resurrection of the Dead and confirmed by the next words 4. The Antecedent Concomitant and consequent Circumstances of the Resurrection That is what shall go before what shall accompany and what shall follow after the raising of the dead and all these are laid down in the following part of this Chapter which is a Spring and Fountain of Living Lively Comfort against excessive sorrow for the dead And methinks I feel it already to begin to work It warms my Heart it doth begin to burn within my Breast My Affections move and it seems to me that my sorrow is turning into joy and my heaviness into rejoicing and am put to a stand whether now I shall call my Tears for my dead Tears of Sorrow or of Joy Have we been sorrowing because she is dead Methinks I cannot but joy that she sleeps in Jesus Have we been mourning because the Body is in the Grave Oh how delightful is it to me to think upon such good grounds that the Precious and Immortal Soul is above in yonder glorious Heaven in the presence of the Father and Redeemer and Comforter and in the innumerable company of Angels and saved Souls perfectly Holy and Happy for ever Have we been so much troubled because the Body did fall at the parting stroke of death methinks my trouble is allayed when I am considering and certainly sure that it shall rise and fall no more Is it an aggravating sorrow to look back upon the Circumstances of the Funeral The Bearers carrying the Corps upon their Shoulders the Mourning Relations following and many sorrowful sympathizing Friends coming after to see the dead Body lodged in its long Home Methinks another Affection is ready to take its turn and to act its part even Delight and Joy when I look forward and foresee the Lord a coming and all his Holy Angels with him calling the dead to rise they hear and come forth from their sleeping places and after Judgment go with their Lord into the highest Heavens in Body and Soul not only to their long but last yea Everlasting Home to Live and Love and Joy in God to all Eternity Oh what difference is there between believing Thoughts of these great and glorious certain things and those that have been daily running to the Grave looking upon a consuming Body What wrong have I done my self in hastening to this part no more and coming to it no sooner Why have we been looking so long in the Grave in which as such we can see nothing but death and cry out as the Men to Elisha concerning their deadly Pottage O thou Man of God there is death in the Pot 2 Kings 4.40 So we there is death in the Grave But when Elisha said Then bring Meal and he cast it into the Pot and he said pour out for the people that they may eat and there was no harm in the Pot. So we should have looked upon the Grave as a place where Christ before had been laid and as a Bed for the Bodies of Believers to sleep in till the Lord shall come and we should have seen no such great harm in the Grave to fill us with excessive sorrow Concerning this representation of death by sleeping four things may be premised as to this manner of Scripture expression 1. Tho Beasts do die yet their death in Scripture that I know of is never called a Sleep for they die to live no more Death puts an end to their Life without a Resurrection to it any more They are only in this World and not to have Life in that World that Men are hastening too They are not capable here of Moral Government of Sin or Grace and so shall not be raised to undergo Eternal Punishments or to receive Eternal Rewards hereafter Tho they do sleep while they live yet their death is not a sleep because they shall die but never wake 2. The death of ungodly Men is sometimes in Scripture called a sleep tho more seldom The worst as well as the best all Mankind in general shall be raised at the last day As death is common to all so shall the Resurrection of the dead also be Tho as there is a difference in their death so shall there also be in their Resurrection but because they shall awake therefore to them death also is a sleep Tho they had better to sleep on than to awake and rise to be tormented Dan. 12.2 And many of them that sleep in the dust of the Earth shall awake some to ●verlasting Life and some to Shame and Everlasting Contempt Expressed by Christ in these words John 5.28 All that are in their Graves shall hear his voice 29. And shall come forth they that have done good unto the Resurrection of Life and they that have done evil to the Resurrection of Damnation 3. It is most frequently used concerning the death of holy and believing persons that they may familiarize it to themsel●es and get as great a willingness to die as to go to Bed and sleep So God said to Moses he should sleep with his Fathers Deut. 31.16 So of David 2 Sam. 7.12 So Mat. 9.24 When Christ said our Friend Lazarus sleepeth the Disciples thought he spake of his taking natural rest in sleep but after explained his meaning saying he is dead John 11.11 12 13. So Acts 13.36 4. The Expression of sleeping in Jesus is to be understood peculiarly of the death of true Believers that shall be awaked to live with him in Eternal
Moreover O my Soul wilt thou not grant that Sorrow is excessive which causeth thy Thoughts to run into the Grave and hinders them from ascending into Heaven and to have many self-piercing and self-tormenting Thoughts of thy dead for one serious and Heart-affecting Thought thou hast of the Living and Eternal God and which makes thy Heart as cold in all thy Duties unto God as the Body of thy dead Relation is in its Grave Besides is not thy Sorrow too much when it hinders thee from Spiritually rejoycing in God and giving Thanks to him for all the Mercies which in thy Sorrow thou dost overlook Especially when let thy Condition be what it will as to Temporals thou hast much more cause to bless God for Spiritual and Eternal Mercies than to grieve for the loss of Temporals Add to this O my Soul and then judge that thou grievest so much for thy Dead that thou hast left off sorrowing for the Miseries of the Church of God and losest much of thy little remaining Time wherein thou hast many Duties to perform many Graces to get and more degrees thereof many sins to mortifie and subdue many Temptations to resist a deceitful Heart to watch and search Children and Servants to instruct and teach and holy preparations to be made for Death and another Eternal World and while thou sorrowest all these are neglected Is it not too much By this time and from these Evidences O my Soul art thou not convinced that thy sorrow for thy dead hath been and still is excessive sorrow that thou hast and dost transgress the bounds of Christian Moderation and thereby offend thy holy Lord wrong thy self discredit that Religion thou dost profess discourage the good and cast a stumbling-block in the way of the ungodly and wilt thou still proceed herein Canst not thou sensibly feel the stroke of his hand and yet patiently submit unto his will How long wilt thou thus be cast down how long wilt thou thus be disquieted within me Is thy Relation fallen asleep and are thy Graces slumbering Is thy Faith as dead in thy Heart as thy Relation is in the Grave Shall Nature wôrk thus strongly in thee and Graces so feebly If natural Affections be exorbitant hath not God implanted Grace in thee that it may correct moderate and govern them Art thou only a Rational and not a Believing Soul Yea dost thou thus Immoderately grieve as if thou wast neither believing nor rational in thy sorrow If there be nothing in the common Book of corrupted Nature that thou canst read but what doth add grief unto thy grief yet is there not enough in that special Book of sacred Scripture that might turn thy sorrow into Joy for those of thine that sleep in Jesus Or hast thou thrown it by and neglected to look and search into it Or if thou readest dost thou understand what thou readest or dost thou consider what thou dost understand or believe with an unshaken Faith what thou dost consider whilest thy sorrow doth continue so excessive Hath not God revealed therein such certain Truths concerning the Bodies of those that dye in the Lord such glorious things concerning their separated Souls for the present such wonderful work that he will hereafter do in reuniting the same Souls with the same Bodies in raising them from the dead and Redeeming them from the Grave such desirable Glory that their Souls and Bodies thus reunited shall be joyntly partakers of and be made perfectly and eternally holy and happy in the enjoyment of the Father Son and eternal Spirit in the innumerable Company of glorious Angels and the vast multitudes of such as with them were chosen redeemed sanctified and shall be for ever saved singing triumphant Hallelujahs when they shall all be gathered together in the Immediate presence of their Lord and Saviour and be possessed of those Mansions in their Fathers House which were prepared for them Hath he made known such things as these and are they sure and infallibly certain and yet for want of Faith and Hope and Love dost thou sit here and sigh and sob and grieve and groan as thô those thou mournest for were for ever lost as if they were so dead that they should live no more or as if they were so fast bound in their Graves that they never should come forth nor be taken from that dark place to the Palace of glorious Light above Attend then O my Soul unto the Expression wherewith thy Lord doth represent the death of thy holy Relation now deceased as a sleeping in Jesus And if thou mournest because she is dead yet try if thou canst mourn because she sleepeth in the Lord. For this doth Sorrow fill thine Heart or mayest thou not rejoyce that being dead she so sleepeth for if she sleep in Jesus shall she not do well and if she shall do well shouldest thou not rather rejoyce than thus lament and grieve When didst thou sorrow when she went to bed and slept and took her natural Rest And now she sleeps in Jesus is she not at rest in her Grave as in her bed from all troubles from men from Sickness and Pain and from all Sense thereof from all worldly cares and piercing Sorrows that did usually accompany those cares and if her Death be but a Sleep how easie is it for Almighty Power to awaken her out of her Sleep And if she sleep she shall awake for if in the usual Course of Nature waking followeth after sleeping wherefore dost thou doubt or sear that Death being but a Sleep that it will be a perpetual Sleep And if she went sick and weary and weak to sleep when she shall awake shall she not be more refreshed and revived in the Morning of the Resurrection If the time of her sleeping seemeth long to thee now waking and not to her now sleeping why dost thou trouble thy self with that with which she is not at all concerned about If in the time of her Life thou sawest her sick and could not sleep this was a grief and trouble to thee would it not much more have added to thy sorrow to see her languish filled with pain hear her sigh and sob and groan upon a sick bed and could neither recover nor yet fall asleep and yet dost thou take on that when by all means used and learned carefull and pious Physicians consulted she could not be recovered that now she is fallen asleep Why dost thou molest and trouble thy self at the thoughts of the Length of her Sleep when it is no more trouble nor disquiet to her than the Length of time is to one that is fast sleeping in his Bed tho it may be tedious to one that sitteth by and waketh while he sleepeth Remember O my Soul and let the remembrance thereof asswage thy sorrow that it is her last but not an everlasting sleep tho it be long it shall not alwayes last and because it is a sleep that is called Death it shall