thou hast healed me Thou hast brought up my Soul from the Grave thou hast kept me alive that I should not go down into Hell I will therefore walk before the Lord in the Land of the Living and thy Statutes will I make my Songs in the House of my Pilgrimage yea my delight shall be ever in thy Commandments I have sworn and am stedfastly purposed to keep thy righteous Judgments Away from me ye wicked I will keep the Commandments of my God He shall inherit the Land he shall possess thine holy Mountain that trusteth in thee O quicken thou me in the way I wait for thee in the way of thy Truth the desire of my Soul is to thy Name and to the remembrance of thee How sweet are thy words unto my throat yea sweeter are they than honey in my mouth Thy Words are found by me and I did eat them and thy Word was unto me the joy and rejoycing of my heart The Lord himself is the Portion of mine Inheritance and of my Cup I am my Welbeloveds and my Welbeloved is mine The Lot is fallen unto me in a fair ground yea I have a goodly Heritage How amiable are thy dwellings thou Lord of Hosts My Soul hath a desire and longing to enter into the Courts of the Lord my heart and my flesh rejoyce in the living God Who feedeth in pleasant Pastures and leadeth me beside the Waters of Comfort Therefore my Song shall be alway of thy loving kindness with my mouth will I ever be shewing thy Truth from one Generation to another O praise the Lord all ye his Hosts sing unto the Lord O ye Saints of his and give thanks at the remembrance of his Holiness Let the Heavens rejoyce and the Earth be glad for this is the day which the Lord hath made a day to be had in everlasting remembrance No sooner had he ended but his honest Guide came to prepare him to set out on his Pilgrimage but entring in upon him found him almost elevated from the ground with his arms stretched forth as if they meant to grasp something very much desired and his eyes fixed upwards whilst a lovely Angel-like brightness shone upon his face rendring his Devotion most amiable The Guide was so delighted to view this heavenliness in his beloved Charge that he would have retir'd back through fear of interrupting him But the Youth discovers him and ashamed that he was seen modestly turns aside saying to him My dear Father have you brought me my Eubulus with you To which he answered Eubulus indeed left us at the Temple in great haste but I judge it was onely to set his Pilgrims a little onward the way after which he may have better leisure for us Why sure then said the Youth he might have taken me along with him too Must I alone be left behind Once I am confident he thought me not unworthy of his care and pity else why did he not suffer me to perish why kept he me from dropping into ruine Has he delivered me from so many Enemies Precipices and Dangers to forsake me at last CHAP. XI The Fruits of Eubulus his Mission JUst then as they were speaking they thought they heard a clacking at the outer wicket of the Lodge And as soon as it was opened who should they find waiting there but this very same Eubulus whom their joy presently introduced Which joy was so great that a good while was spent in profound gazing on each other in mutual Embraces and in all the Arts of silent endearments afore they knew how to express it in words or welcome any otherwise their long-expected Stranger The first who broke silence was the young Penitent Pray tell me said he my dearest Monitor how you came this day to leave us tell me good Eubulus why we parted so abrupty at the Temple I was e'en afraid you had forgot me You see my dear Son said Eubulus that for your sake I am returned again so soon nor could I in truth be any longer absent from you although I knew you here to be safe enough yea as well as my heart could wish you My rejoycing was almost unutterable to find you to day in so holy a place and posture as I did and much more to find you pointing at Theosophus with this Reverend men But pardon me if I could not tarry then to speak unto you through fear of such Irregularities as might perchance have happened had I left the care of those poor Pilgrims I conducted thither Whence I carried them strait to a Shepherds Cottage hard by who is called Vranius more innocently pleasant than those of whom Arcadia boasts and unto him have committed them until you also be fitted for the Journey so as to bear them company The Youth could not here forbear from embracing him again and telling him how much he longed to be on this Journey to the Holy Land And as the two aged Fathers were discoursing about their great Concerns he could think of nothing but his Journey and the miraculousness of his recovery from the Grave All within him was transport of Joy and Gladness and in the very midst of his Discourse he would say unto himself Rejoyce therefore O my Soul and praise thy Lord who has at last brought thee back unto himself Rejoyce with me ye glorious Spirits who attend his Throne being always ready to congratulate the recovery of a dying Soul and all ye who have left the World and put on Palmers Weeds that there is one more added to your number I have received the Calice of Salvation and will therefore be glad My Soul shall always praise the Lord. And then he would start and speak again to his Friends and then speak inwardly to himself But what made thee to be so kind to me holy Jesu What have I ever done to merit thus thy favour Couldest thou see any thing worthy of thee in a leprous Soul spotted with those innumerable Stains and Defilements Thus was he fixed upon Heaven and thus conversed with the place of his Desire whereas none can conceive the pleasure of his thoughts but those good Souls who have at any time felt the like and are not altogether unacquainted with Coelestial Ravishments Then presently he took Eubulus and with all the expressions of Gratitude imaginable related unto him aside what great things the good and wise Theosophus had done for his Soul the several passages of his Sickness and the whole course of its Cure He now divided his Joy with his Grief so as not one should lessen the other and so as you could not guess which was the greatest while he told him of the many Diseases of his Sin-sick Soul and the Infernal Troops that had haunted him and cohabited with him and how miraculously he was rescued from their Tyranny aggravating the foulness of his Crimes and the baseness of his Apostacy and extolling as high as he was able the Goodness of his Redeemer This
too long to insert here concluding with some observations on Spiritual Joy told him that by the vertue of this heavenly Balsam if he hindred not its working he trusted before the following day should go down to see him perfectly cured Adding that if on the morrow the nauseousness of his Stomach all impure Qualms that is all remanent affections to sin had left him he might then after a due and holy preparation feed on the miraculous and medicinal Bread of Life CHAP. VIII The Mystical Feast unto which Theosophus carries his Charge THe next day therefore being the great Christian Festival of Easter the young man arose betimes to welcome the Morning Sun of Righteousness that now began to dawn upon his Soul and to dart in thither his beams of Life He fancied himself new risen from the death of Sin freed from the corruption of the Grave and the eternal prisons of the nethermost Pit Of the Miracle of this day he had so great an Instance upon himself that ever after he used to commemorate it as the Festival both of his Lords and by the vertue thereof of his own Resurrection He was not long up before the careful Theosophus came to give him his customary Visit who perceiving in his smiling countenance the calmness and the serenity of his mind and from the evenness of his pulse the moderation and sedateness of his passions guessing at the regular reparation of his Health cannot now any longer forbear to congratulate this his so miraculous a Recovery You see my dear Youth says he stretching out his hands to Heaven in an holy amazedness the power of that Soveraign Balsam you know who made it and who has been at the expence of a Miracle for your sake and that also no ordinary one even the God of Nature he has you see condescended to form you anew and reinstate you in Grace by giving you another and a much better life Be thankful therefore good Son and pay your Vows this day at his Altar run forth I advise you and meet now the King of Glory the Prince of Salem the Emperor of the Holy Land If you do this he will pardon all your Misdeeds will cure all your Diseases and will enter you into the Bedrol of his Pilgrims Now he is preparing to feast you at his Table he expects to find you there that he may number you among his Saints and Followers the redeemed ones of Israel Methinks I see you dear Friend my Patient I will call you no longer prepared to entertain him within your heart and am glad to see that you need not my invitation Wherefore I shall reserve what I had to say to you for them that lack it more So he left him unto his private Meditations and Prayers When not long after having invested himself in an holy but penitential dress he was led by his reverend Guide to a very fair and beautiful Temple not far off in the midst of a gloomy religious Wood commodiously enough seated for the devout retirement of the persecuted Followers of JESUS It was elevated upon a small rising decently built and for the convenience thereof a long while resorted unto by Pilgrims of all Ranks and Conditions But since the Roads to Jerusalem began to be unfrequented this also was scarce ever visited unless now and then by a few old decrepit Beggars Hither they came and having entred this holy place they fell down prostrate upon their faces worshipping towards the East They had not lain long upon the cold Pavement breathing out their Souls after JESUS and the Delights which are at his right hand before their ears were touched with the Sighs and soft Ejaculations of some religious Devotes When casting their eyes off the ground they among the rest spied their dear Eubulus Very glad you cannot but guess they were and very glad was Eubulus to find the Youth whom he loved so affectionately and had so long sought after in such a place with such a Friend and to receive them both in safety whom he heard the wild Foragers of the Voisinage thereabouts had torn and devoured Nor was their Joy any whit allayed through the reverence of the place which hindred them from so much as speaking to each other but rather increased by their mutual assistance and servency of Devotion with all the increases that a religious Joy is capable of The first Solemnities were done and the Morning-Sacrifice offered up when Theosophus made so powerful and divine an Exhortation highly valuable for its Eloquence Solidity and Piety to usher in the Feast that nothing but the length could tempt me to omit One passage however I cannot forget for having excellently discoursed upon the Author and Dignity of that heavenly Treat he tells those few who were present That it was not meant to pamper their Lusts or make them proud or lazy in the way but to be their Viaticum and spiritual Repast in their Journey to Heaven whence the Israelites leaving the Brick-kils and slavery of Egypt to pass through the Wilderness unto the Land flowing with Milk and Honey received it in the posture of travelling with their Loyns girt Sandals on their feet and a Palmers Staff in their hands Exod. c. 12. v. 12. After which with what humble deportment and veneration did they approach the holy Altar With what ravishments of joy did they come to this Coelestial Banquet With what a steddy and firm resolution did they purpose to follow their prime Leader JESUS through all Difficulties and Hazards unto the happy Land of Promise But as soon as the blessed JESUS the glorious and peaceable Prince of Jerusalem descended with Myriads of Angels attending on him how did their hearts burn within them with what transcendency of Love and vehemency of Desire did they address him But here I am struck dumb with reverence and amazement unable to describe this sacred Mystery which the Angels do with awful admiration delight to look into CHAP. IX The Penitents Regeneration NEver was its effect more visible upon any than upon this young happy Convert Through the mysterious efficacy hereof he was wonderfully chang'd into another man It drove away his tyrannick Lusts and pleasant Torturers making them lose their hold made his curst Executioners flee frightened from him his vain Desires with every cruel Vice and Murtherer of his Soul disappear His Senses were released his Brain disenchanted all his filthy and hellish Inmates exorcised not so much as one left behind but all driven out by the Priests sacred Charm The Body of our Lord Jesus Christ those sweet those all-powerful words Thus set at liberty he became free to give himself unto him who had freed him And thus washed and cleansed in the bloud of the holy Lamb he presented his Body to be from thenceforth a pure and hallowed Temple and his Soul a chast devoted Sanctuary unto the divine Spirit the Spirit of Purity and Holiness Fresh and holy thoughts began forthwith
Theosophus knew not how to sorrow for himself yet could he not chuse but deeply sorrow for these enslaved Wretches But as he was still disappointed so his disappointment still made him the more strive to obtain and the more long to be in Paradise On which place having by this time marshalled in his sorrowful thoughts all the deplorable Vanities of the World that he had seen he brake forth in this manner following But as for thee O divine place how glorious art thou how great and transcendent is thy Beauty and how desirable is the Vision of thee before all others Nothing but thee do I desire I think of nothing but thee my very Enemies can witness how incessantly I praise thee O supream Beatitude the Brooks and Winds that use to repeat my words can tell as much Paradise how do I pant and thirst after thy Felicity Paradise is inscribed upon my heart in indelible characters and every minute carries the blessed name of Paradise along with it All the day long my thoughts are of thee and at night my roving phant'sie cannot rest from seeking thee out In a Land where no man seeketh thee but every one is gone astray after their own inventions my Soul continually gasps after thee yea in a barren and a thirsty Land where no Waters are and where the People have hewen out to themselves broken Cisterus forsaken the Wells of the Prophets because they flow from thy sacred Head What study or cost have I spared to learn whereabouts thou art seated What have I not underwent to make a Discovery into thy Coelestial Map Have I not for this exposed my self to the fury of raging Winds and the tempestuous Main been toss'd up and down by the Storms of Popular Zeal robb'd by Pyrates engulf'd up in Misery and oftentimes even sunk to the bottom with Reproach and Calumny Have I not in thy enquiry searched all places endured both the chill cold and scorching heat of different Climes in Religion And what else shall I do to win thee thou fair Object of my Affection Thou knowest how laborious how diligent I have always been to fill thee with Inhabitants when not onely my Adversaries but my very Friends also those at least who profess themselves my Friends would by their too quarrelsome Piety or open Profaneness turn thee into Solitude and a dispeopled Wilderness O that I could pull down Mercy and Peace from thy holy place Why dost thou not manifest thy self unto us and put an end to all our Controversies O when will come those happy days Will they ever come Yes did but exil'd Charity return they would then be very near then shall our Divisions be healed and thy Paths by consequence crouded In the mean while how unhappy are we in the Quest after thee whom the very eagerness and heat of Pursuit still makes us to lose And shall we all thus perish No sure it cannot be It cannot be that any Soul should perish in the search after thee It cannot be no more than I can cease to love thee no more than I can cease to pant after thy Joys And can I ever do this can I ever forget thee No. Impossible it is for me not to extol thee among the Children of men How desirous am I to tell thy Lovers where thou may'st be found and how ready to conduct humble Souls into thy blissful and immortal state How do I long for thee thou sure Reversion of never-fading Pleasures Paradise the meed and recompence of my Travels Paradise the sole aim of all my hopes how fain would I leave these Habitations of Clay to dwell in thine eternal and delightful Mansions What would I not give to enjoy the liberty of thy Citizens O Jerusalem Jerusalem Why art thou then thus concealed from mine eyes or what makes me to be debar'd the fruition of my Lord Why do not ye who are his winged Messengers translate me thither For I am weared with toil and labour I am quite tired with vexation and can hardly any longer but for his sake whom I love endure to be thus flouted at by these Country-Swains for teaching them the most necessary and the most profitable Truth in the World and to be persecuted even by those who in shew appear his most devout and zealous Pilgrims But alas that that which dams up my heart with grief is that all this while this tedious while I have not so much as gained over a Proselyte not so much as a Proselyte to follow his steps My Endeavours alas alas have all been fruitless and come to nought all along have I been disserviceable unto thee dear JESVS In vain do I strive to honour thee in vain do I strive to advance thy Kingdom upon Earth the Feuds and Rents in thy Church do quite dishearten me Is not Truth preached out of my mouth term'd Heresie and Primitive Christianity without any further scrutiny strait exploded Whensoever I speak my Neighbours look awry and every one stops his ear against me Wo is me that I am constrained to dwell with Mesech and to have my habitation among the Tents of Kedar My Soul hath long dwelt among those that are Enemies unto Peace I labour for Peace but when I speak unto them thereof they make ready to battel Who will therefore give me the wings of a Dove that I may flie and rest my self upon the Mount of God! When must I leave this Beth Chomer this Cottage of Clay this ruinous and shaken house O that I had wings like a Dove for then would I flee away and be at rest O when shall I arrive there How long will it be O my Soul before I enter the Court of Heaven CHAP. IV. His Vision IN such sort did the dejected Eremit pour forth his Soul upon the Banks of the River Thamus whose becrimson'd streams well enough accorded with his Wo and whose waves seemed to listen to his words and then rejoyce to report them to each other in sorrowfully-painful Eccho's till by the rowling murmurs of the Current and the heaviness and sorrows of his wearied Spirits he was easily compelled to take the respite of a little sleep But his Imagination suffered him not to rest for no sooner had he let his Senses go but he thought he saw a rich and stately Temple raised suddenly by the hands of Angels the Materials and Stones whereof were taken out of the Coelestial Quarries and the Sun glittering against the Walls rendered it above measure resplendent which frightened away an ugly Pore-blind Hag that had hid her self under the Ground-work not able to abide so dazling a Lustre For she loved to converse with Bats and Screech-Owls her Eyes being too weak to endure the Light or even without violence the least gleam thereof so hateful unto her that to obscure the same out of her mouth she continually belched forth foggie Exhalations and muffled her head round with gross palpable Darkness by which he knew her to be
less but greater far and nobler if any Comparison can be made betwixt a Coelestial Substance and an Earthly one Thus his stony and obdurate heart which the Thunders of the Law could not shiver is now softned with the Bloud of the Passover He who but a little while afore matter'd not the Threats and Terrors of Mount Sinai is now touched and moved with the sweet Gospel-Messages of Love and Peace Whence ever after he related great things of this Evangelical Feast how it was the Seal of his Pardon the Christian Pasport of his Heavenly Pilgrimage and the beginning of his Vnion with God And how it gave him all things even by removing him from them and making him desire nothing but JESUS and to be with him in PARADISE CHAP. X. An Eucharistical Meditation AS soon therefore as he was returned back again with the Eremit into his Cell and shut himself up in a close apartment thereof his Soul by rapturous flights of Joy strove to ascend upward and exert her self in these following Acts of devout Acknowledgment I. I am well pleased that the Lord hath thus heard the § 1. An Act of Thanksgiving and Adoration voice of my Prayer Blessed is he that now cometh in the Name of the Lord Hosanna in the highest Blessed is he that cometh in the Name of the Lord Hosanna here below Thrice hail most triumphant Prince of Heaven Hail holy wonderful eternal King great Deliverer successful Combatant the Redemption of the Captives and the Oppressed and upon this day the First-Fruits and Hopes to those that sleep of a glorious Resurrection Hallelujah Salvation and Glory and Honour and Power be to the Lord our God Blessed is he that cometh in the Name of the Lord Hallelujah I adore thee I worship thee I love thee I magnifie thee O thou Conqueror of Hell and Death victorious Champion over the Infernal Forces I will magnifie thee as much as I am able and will still strive to magnifie thee more All hail welcome sweetest Saviour Jesus welcome Lamb of God the Life-giving Sacrifice the spiritual Refection the holy and accepted Peace-Offering the Deliverance and Comfort of all faithful Souls Welcome victorious Lamb all the mighty Hosts of Heaven fall down before thee and with everlasting Praises delight to celebrate the glories and triumphs of so strange a Love And here below under their feet I would do the same Thou art the powerful and wise the Lord of Hosts the King of Loves thou art called and thy Conquests are spread abroad as far as the ends of the World When the terrours of Death encompassed me round when the nethermost Hell threatned to devour me quick and Satan was ready to grasp my polluted Soul then found I deliverance then saw I my returning Victor laden with their spoils and having trampled on and crushed their power bidding me live Behold even he whom I fought against has obtained for me the victory and has overcome me with his love and with his love has made me overcome The great God the mighty Saviour of Nations hath pitied a poor perishing wretch he hath snatched my life from out the paws of the devouring Lion and the sulphurous stench and horrors of yonder black Abyss II. But who can tell me how all this came to pass what § 2. An Act of Contrition or Humility was there in me that I should be thus highly honoured or my life worth that it should be ransomed at so dear a rate as the death of my God Why should God the Father whom I had offended send his Son to die for me Why should God the Son whom I had so sinned against bear the load and punishment of that sin Tell me what could the Creator see worthy of so great savour in such an abominable and filthy Creature or the Lord of all things in his proud presumptuous Vassal the Holiest in a sinner wallowing in his Lusts How came Vnworthiness and Pride Rebellion and Sin perverse Dust and Ashes to find thus instead of the heaviest curse and dreadfullest execution of a just and fiery Indignation so extraordinary a Blessing so far not onely above my merit but my comprehension This is all Prodigie of Mercy Shall the careless and disobedient the refractory and murmuring Servant be rewarded be feasted with his Master Shall the wilful and obstinate offender be pardoned the despicable and haughty Villain be pitied Who can believe there is so great Charity for an Enemy or such Honours as these for the vilest of the children of men This was indeed too great for me to expect or wish for will take up all the wonder of Men and Angels Ah! have have not my Crimes crucified him my Passions made him bleed and could he yet do and suffer so much for me Has not my Pride alas stript him naked my Intemperance and Luxury forced him to fast And did not my Covetousness make him poor my Ambition a slave But he hath covered my Nakedness and Folly he hath feasted me with his holy ones he hath filled me with the Riches of his Grace and hath freed me from the slavery of sin The bitterness of my Spirit hath been worse to him than the very Gall he tasted my Peevishness and Malice than the Vinacre he drank my Honours have wreath'd him a Crown of Thorns The rude Souldier pierced but his side when I pierced his very heart with sorrows My Jollity was that anguish which made his Virginal Body to be drained all over bloudy droops of Sweat My Scoffs at Religion have been far more intolerable have entred deeper into his Soul than the Contempt and Mockeries of the Pretorian Band. Nay my very Devotion and Piety has murthered him my Addresses have been criminal and traiterous and with Judas have I studied to betray him with a kiss O Prodigie of Villany But neither is this all Ah me I can scarce utter that which is still more black Oft would my Wickednesses have offered Violence even to his glorified Body and ripped up his Wounds afresh Thus have I open'd his side by violating those mysterious Sacraments which proceeded thence my best works put him to shame Nor indeed could I any otherwise have claimed his infinite Mercy but that I am infinitely vile and infinitely sinful III. Dearest Jesu how admirable are the effects of thy § 3. An Act of Wonder Goodness How glorious and condescending is thy Love that could do all this for me and how disproportionate are the Returns of thy soveraign Bounty to the deserts of a perfidious disloyal wretch I came not unto thee of my self but thou hast drawn me with Cords though I refused yet found I protection My Guilt was thy Condemnation yet through thee am I saved Thou hast reached forth to me the Scepter with the same hand which my Vanity had mocked with a Reed Could I ever expect to receive life from him whom mine Iniquities bruised and even robbed of his a Cure through his
underwent the shame endur'd the rage of men and Devils a lingring and painful Crucifixion and the dreadful phials of his Fathers wrath Couldst thou then my dearest Saviour submit to all this for me and how weak how unanswerable are my Praises how flat and dull Lord I know thou didst and I acknowledge mine iniquities but will dispute no longer with such Goodness as thine Vnsearchable are the depths of thy Mercy and thy loving kindness past finding out I would declare the wonders of thy soveraign love and speak of all thy marvellous works but that they are so great and so astonishing so secret and so reserved that I will rather adore than pry into these Mysteries of my Redemption And I will be glad and rejoyce in thy Name because mine Enemies are turned back and put to confusion for this will I praise thee as long as I have any breath and all that is within me shall eternally magnifie thy holy Name Thou my Lord art my Light and my Salvation whom then shall I fear Thou art the strength of my life of whom shall I be afraid With thy right hand and thy holy arm hast thou rescued me from the powers of Hell raised me up like dead Lazarus from the Grave and killed those Vermin that were gnawing my flesh and consuming my Spirit Thou hast raised me with thy Call * Joh. 11. 43. Come forth See Lord at thy call even the dead obeys and comes running to thee How far do thy Conquests extend My Lord and my God thou hast gotten thy self the victory The Lamb has overcome the sprinkling of his Bloud maketh the destroying Angel pass over and hurt me not Worthy is that Lamb that was slain to receive power and riches and wisdom and strength and honour and glory and blessing Amen Hallelujah Here he bowed down with his face to the ground in imitation of those ever-happy adoring Spirits who inhabit the LAND of GOD and in a delightsome Extasie cryed out several times Victory victory victory The Lamb hath overcome His fledged Soul before the whole Court of the great God thereupon made a most solemn Dedication of her self and with all Humility and Veneration approaching his Throne uttered these Purposes and Acts of Holy Resolution nor was at all tired with the length VIII But how shall I adde § 8. An Act of Oblation unto the triumphs of the Lamb What shall I render unto the Lord for all his Benefits towards me for all these Manifestations of his Love and Power towards a poor perishing sinner I am nothing and I have nothing but what I received from thee blessed God what therefore shall I give thee I give thee having nothing else to give that which is thine already that for which thou wast content to undergo a painful and ignominious death I give thee dearest Lord my self I am thine do with me as thou pleaseth I do here thankfully and humbly present thee all the Faculties and the Members of my Body and of my Soul My Thoughts and Words my Actions Intentions Senses Passions Desires and Endeavours my Fame Liberty and Life any Death and all I offer up to thee All the Days that I am to live all that I Can all that I Have or Am shall be entirely thine It is indeed a miserable Oblation a vile useless Gift I offer but it is that which thou demandest and with which I am sure thou wilt not be displeased that which thou hast dearly bought and which ought not to be mortgaged away by me to any other that which I cannot without the basest Ingratitude and terriblest Sacriledge keep from thee which is more than once yea than an hundred times due to thee a polluted House an idolatrous Temple and defiled it is therein to entertain the Holiest of the Lord but polluted and defiled as it is so much the more it needs him to make it clean and purge it from Idolatry * Cant. c. 3. v. 2 4. c. 6. 2. c. 7. 10. Heretofore sought I him whom my Soul loved I sought him but I found him not for I sought him in the streets and open places in the World and in my Pleasures But no sooner had I passed a little from them than I found him whom my Soul loved I took hold of him and left him not till I had brought him hither and received him into my heart Behold my Beloved is mine and I am his I am my Welbeloveds and his Desire is towards me Come in therefore holy and ever-blessed Redeemer my Love my Dearest and take possession of me I am now restored to my self by being restored to thee I am marked for thine and I am far better and more mine own than ever by being so None in Heaven or Earth did I desire but thee blessed Redeemer and lo thou hast given me thy self and by this Gift hast given me All for thou art All and without thee every thing besides is as nothing Thou art All that I love or fear All that I wish for and All that I enjoy All that I delight in worship and admire For thy sake I will despise all the trifling Pleasures and Vanities of this lower World and trample under my feet whatsoever is valued by the Folly or the Vice of the Sons of Men. IX How sweet are the Conquests § 9. The Petition of thy Love dearest Jesu I am thine I am wholly thine and do thou so keep me still Besides thee truly many Lords I had but such as would have cast me into the Prison of Intolerable Burnings and thou hast prevailed against them and gotten me to thy self I adjure thee therefore blessed Saviour by thy pretious Sufferings and victorious Passion by the tender bowels of thy Mercy and whatsoever thou countest dear never to suffer them to recruit their Forces lest they be again too hard for me never to let them after this take possession of that which is thine or profane that place which thou hast set now apart for thy Temple And that I may bless thee and exult over the mighty Armies that come forth against me defying thee the Lord of Hosts make me able to pursuse them until they be quite scattered to subdue and foil their weak Remains X. For I am resolved never more to associate my self with § 10. An Act of Resolution and Dereliction of the World thy Murtherers nor will I ever any more harbour thy Persecutors within my breast but will bear a profest Enmity to all thy Enemies and though perhaps they hide themselves in the inmost recesses of my heart yet with the justest anger and violence will I drive them thence I will not henceforwards be ashamed to wear thy Badge or to fight under the sacred Banner of thy Cross I will follow thee whithersoever thou callest and though I be beset around with Temptations and Infirmities through thy help I will break my way through them all and be more than Conquerour Nor will
Pride an Ornament a gentile Quality in the other Doth no man care for a Lethargie and every one seek Security If the Fits of an Epilepsie can be so frightful how much more the Lapses of an Apostatizing Sinner Who can endure the Burnings of a Calenture and is Lust so pleasant How much nobler I pray is Sloth than the Scurvie and what is your Froliking but the Megrim of a dizzie Brain Whosoever sure can find satisfaction in any of these may with as good reason flatter all the Diseases of humane Bodies may court the Gibbet and the Rack and take Torments for most pleasing Anodynes Let me but tell you what I heard from a Traveller in this very same Road and as coming from such an one I hope it will pierce deeper into your breast He is as daring and presumptuous a Sinner I believe as ever travelled herein a most profligate Wretch that has tried all the ways of lewd Delight and left nothing of Wickedness unessayed Yet with great seriousness he once confessed that in no act of Sin he ever took such pleasure as was able to counterpoise the sorrow he afterwards felt that he never committed what is sinful but that as soon almost he wished it never committed nor ever trod one step further but that he repented he had gone so far He told me also what ghastly frighting thoughts he had when he was alone what uneasiness he had within him and what trouble and perplexity he hath all along met with in his Travels But which is almost past belief he is so bewitched that still he foolishly continues to run on in this lamentable course he still as wilfully as ever persists in his Wickedness and cannot be perswaded so much as to step one step backwards Pray consider what I say before it be too late for all this but a short melancholy Fit made him acknowledge unto me Depart therefore hence hereafter possibly you may tell me the same as he By those past good Deeds which else will be forgotten by that Duty which you own unto your Parents by that Love which once you did or at least profest to bear unto Theophilus yea by that Love you bear unto your self I entreat and adjure you to return with me to return back into the Path of Life and everlasting Rewards You are else to all Eternity undone I had not time to resolve what to do before my Company came back whom the old man seeing slipped from me without being discover'd We have seen said they a slight Quarrel raised about the Love of Phillis Nothing of Hurt is done there is onely the Soul of Damocles by an unlucky blow sent in the shape of a Raven to play in the Flames of Hinnom And by such mad Laughter as this were the words of my dear Monitor driven out In these Jovial Merriments for several days we continued In which space I became acquainted with the voluptuous Hedonius the whoring Pamphilus the impudent Cynoeus the plotting Panurgus the ambitious Philodoxus the two Libertines Hippomanes and Atheus the laughing Buffoon Gelasinus and the trifling Adolesches Philecous the Busie-body Pseudocheus the great Lyar and his Brother the Spreader of false News Polymythus the Master of Complements Eutrapelus the lascivious Museus amongst the Rhymers Biberius among the Drinkers Huguccio and Pamphagus among the Feeders the inconstant Varius the sloathful Philypnus and several others that wore the Devils Mark T would be troublesome and tedious unto you hard for me having now forgot many of them to characterize their Persons describe their several Humours and relate all the Passages not more vicious and branded than ridiculous and odde which happened during my Abode with them Wherefore to omit all that I being at last quite tired with this kind of life resolved one way or another to break out of this stately Prison For that which at first I took for a Palace I found to be a Gaol So having one day gained a fit opportunity I fairly left them But I still continued on apace in my Journey which now grew more delicious whole Stages of it being high stately Piazza's and broad Streets At length I came to a turning which declined toward the left For I must tell you that there is above a thousand By-paths which though different or even directly opposite to each other do all alike lead unto the dismal Vale of TOPHET This way was exceeding broad and thronged by Passengers and those of no ordinary Quality as much as the great one The Streets were all Taverns and Stews which made me leave the other common Road to turn in here for better Accommodation Whereof there is a Description between two and three thousand years old which I need but to use it being so exactly fitted thereto by not onely the Wisest of Men and most understanding Observator of Humane Actions but one who had strayed with me in this very Way and had experience enough no man I believe will deny as having * 1 King 11. 1 2 3. out of his own and all the bordering Nations no less than seven hundred Wives Princesses and three hundred Concubines at his Will It was I remember very well the Twilight in the Evening as the Night began to be black and dark when I roved up and down therein and behold there met me a woman Olympia she calls her self with the Attire of an Harlot and subtil of Heart She caught me and kissed me and with an impudent face talked unto me Come said she let us take our fill of Love until the Morning let us solace our selves with Loves With much fair Speech she caused me to yield with the flattering of her Lips she forced me She caught me again and kissed me but mine heart already declined to her ways I went astray in her Paths I poor Wretch followed her straightway as an Ox goeth to the slaughter and as a Fool to the correction of the Stocks as an Ox that thinks he is a going to the Pasture willingly goeth to his own Destruction and as a Bird hasteth to the Snare not knowing that she is in danger so I saw the Bait and catched after it but guessed not that it was for my Life Not but that her House I knew well enough to be the way unto Hell and the going down to the Chambers of Death though with her Eyes I was so strangely fascinated as not to consider this but rather to esteem these outer Courts of the Eternal Prison my Heaven and my Paradise Here also I lighted upon Corinna and Glycerium Rhodope and Pamphila Philumena and Coelia and taken with their Beauty went in unto them not knowing or not thinking that the Dead were there and that their Guests were in the depths of Hell For their Lips dropt as the Honey-comb their Speech was smoother than Oyl but their End prov'd bitter as Wormwood sharp as a two-edged Sword Their Feet every one could spie went downward and their Steps took hold