fold_n 1._o â—o_o let_v go_v sin_n not_o only_o in_o action_n but_o â—n_a affection_n also_o and_o 2._o to_o lay_v hold_n on_o christ_n as_o one_o undo_v without_o he_o thus_o come_v this_o bless_a soul_n to_o be_v break_v off_o from_o the_o wild_a olive_n rom._n 11.24_o in_o his_o let_n go_v and_o â—aying_v down_o of_o sin_n as_o the_o great_a evil_n and_o by_o grace_n become_v graft_v â—nto_o that_o bless_a and_o bleed_a vine_n â—he_v lord_n jesus_n john_n 15.1_o 2._o who_o ever_o after_o his_o happy_a graft_v time_n become_v a_o fruit_n bear_v branch_n have_v juice_n and_o nourishment_n administer_v abundant_o to_o he_o from_o the_o â—ree_a of_o life_n jesus_n christ_n as_o the_o sequel_n will_v manifest_v in_o almost_o unparallelled_a instance_n thus_o far_o in_o short_a for_o his_o experience_n in_o his_o first_o conversion_n now_o come_v we_o to_o treat_v more_o large_o of_o his_o whole_a conversation_n some_o part_n whereoâ—_n shall_v be_v reduce_v to_o the_o three_o follow_a head_n his_o exercise_n his_o examination_n of_o himself_o and_o his_o evidence_n for_o heaven_n which_o he_o attainâ—â—_n unto_o etc._n etc._n chap._n ii_o now_o after_o his_o thorough_a aâ—â—_n sound_a conversion_n follow_v 〈◊〉_d holy_a conversation_n which_o appearâ—â—_n to_o be_v much_o in_o heaven_n by_o his_o converse_v so_o much_o with_o god_n and_o with_o 〈◊〉_d own_o heart_n in_o his_o due_a preparation_n for_o and_o true_a participation_n of_o thâ—â—_n great_a of_o ordinance_n the_o lord_n sâ—â—per_v as_o be_v manifest_a by_o those_o experience_n write_v with_o his_o own_o hand_n upon_o that_o subject_n which_o with_o no_o small_a trouble_n yet_o with_o great_a delight_n be_v here_o transcribe_v now_o that_o he_o be_v breed_v and_o make_v a_o new_a creature_n by_o his_o effectual_a call_n he_o find_v and_o feel_v a_o necessity_n that_o he_o must_v also_o be_v feed_v so_o ask_v council_n about_o the_o concern_v of_o his_o soul_n and_o learn_v those_o divine_a lesson_n which_o he_o record_v as_o 1._o the_o lord_n supper_n be_v so_o call_v because_o our_o lord_n ordain_v it_o at_o his_o last_o supper_n instead_o of_o the_o passover_n 2._o it_o be_v the_o duty_n of_o beleiver_n to_o receive_v it_o else_o they_o do_v slight_a his_o love_n and_o disobey_v his_o command_n 3._o and_o to_o receive_v it_o often_o according_a to_o christ_n command_n and_o the_o apostle_n practice_n 4._o that_o be_v dull_a and_o doubt_v under_o my_o spiritual_a want_n say_v he_o i_o must_v give_v all_o diligence_n toprepare_v my_o heart_n for_o so_o great_a a_o work_n all_o be_v natural_o unfit_a god_n will_v come_v and_o view_v his_o guest_n i_o have_v to_o do_v with_o the_o son_n of_o god_n etc._n etc._n 5._o this_o preparation_n must_v be_v make_v by_o a_o narrow_a search_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n concern_v my_o sin_n my_o want_n and_o my_o grace_n and_o by_o fervent_a and_o solemn_a prayer_n 6._o the_o grace_n i_o must_v go_v to_o god_n and_o get_v from_o he_o be_v knowledge_n faith_n love_n repentance_n and_o new_a obedience_n 7._o i_o must_v have_v knowledge_n for_o without_o it_o the_o heart_n can_v be_v good_a nor_o can_v i_o know_v myself_o nor_o discern_v the_o lord_n body_n i_o must_v know_v how_o man_n be_v create_v and_o how_o he_o fall_v and_o i_o in_o he_o how_o we_o be_v recover_v by_o christ_n how_o renew_v after_o the_o image_n of_o god_n in_o knowledge_n etc._n etc._n till_o then_o my_o understanding_n be_v dark_a and_o ignorant_a my_o conscience_n benumb_v my_o affection_n out_o of_o order_n and_o set_v upon_o wrong_a object_n my_o memory_n brittle_a my_o eye_n full_a of_o adultery_n and_o my_o whole_a frame_n out_o of_o frame_n the_o knowledge_n of_o those_o thing_n will_v help_v to_o break_v my_o heart_n that_o such_o a_o filthy_a lump_n of_o sin_n as_o i_o be_o shall_v see_v and_o feel_v the_o arm_n of_o christ_n embrace_v i_o 8._o i_o must_v have_v faith_n whereby_o i_o may_v hearty_o receive_v he_o as_o my_o lord_n and_o redeemer_n and_o rely_v upon_o he_o alone_o both_o for_o safety_n and_o salvation_n without_o faith_n it_o be_v not_o possible_a to_o please_v god_n and_o i_o may_v not_o displease_v he_o at_o his_o own_o table_n when_o i_o go_v thither_o for_o the_o food_n of_o my_o soul_n 9_o i_o must_v have_v repentance_n because_o i_o must_v judge_v myself_o that_o i_o be_v not_o judge_v i_o must_v both_o mourn_v for_o sin_n and_o turn_v from_o sin_n when_o i_o come_v to_o the_o lord_n table_n etc._n etc._n 10._o i_o must_v have_v love_n too_o because_o the_o apostle_n say_v without_o love_v all_o be_v nothing_o it_o be_v uncomfortable_a to_o sit_v down_o at_o the_o table_n of_o a_o enemy_n who_o we_o love_v not_o and_o who_o love_v not_o we_o but_o it_o be_v dreadful_a and_o dangerous_a to_o sit_v down_o in_o our_o enmity_n 11._o i_o must_v have_v new_a obedience_n also_o else_o i_o come_v in_o my_o rebellion_n and_o for_o some_o sinister_a end_n not_o out_o of_o obedience_n i_o must_v here_o renew_v my_o covenant_n with_o god_n and_o be_v as_o serious_a as_o if_o i_o be_v to_o die_v both_o in_o beg_v to_o be_v rid_v of_o that_o sin_n which_o most_o disturb_v the_o peace_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o to_o have_v that_o mercy_n which_o will_v do_v i_o most_o good_a in_o a_o die_a hour_n etc._n etc._n 12._o i_o must_v quicken_v and_o draw_v forth_o into_o act_n all_o these_o forename_a habit_n of_o grace_n when_o i_o come_v to_o the_o lord_n table_n there_o meditate_v upon_o the_o great_a work_n of_o man_n redemption_n god_n severity_n against_o sin_n in_o the_o death_n of_o my_o surety_n &_o saviour_n the_o preciousness_n of_o my_o soul_n that_o cost_v such_o a_o price_n and_o the_o privilege_n purchase_v for_o i_o thereby_o for_o which_o i_o must_v be_v thankful_a etc._n etc._n have_v thus_o solemn_o prepare_v his_o soul_n for_o this_o great_a and_o tremendous_a ordinance_n from_o july_n 22._o 1681._o to_o august_n the_o 7h_n before_o he_o be_v yet_o twenty_o year_n old_a he_o sit_v down_o the_o first_o time_n upon_o that_o day_n at_o the_o lord_n table_n upon_o this_o first_o sacrament_n he_o receive_v august_n the_o seven_o thus_o he_o write_v before_o i_o sit_v down_o and_o at_o my_o first_o approach_n to_o the_o table_n something_o of_o fear_n and_o tremble_v seize_v upon_o i_o but_o soon_o after_o i_o have_v some_o sweet_a sight_n of_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n i_o see_v he_o by_o faith_n how_o he_o stand_v with_o his_o arm_n wide_o open_a to_o receive_v i_o and_o how_o he_o be_v pierce_v that_o the_o blood_n come_v out_o of_o his_o bless_a and_o bleed_a side_n i_o have_v then_o a_o clear_a sight_n of_o my_o god_n through_o my_o redeemer_n and_o of_o his_o bless_a angel_n this_o be_v ravish_v and_o oh_o how_o refresh_a but_o can_v not_o get_v my_o heart_n inflame_v enough_o with_o love_n to_o christ_n i_o lay_v open_v my_o sin_n and_o beg_v the_o pardon_n of_o they_o may_v be_v seal_v i_o promise_v to_o live_v up_o to_o this_o obligation_n etc._n etc._n concern_v the_o second_o sacrament_n he_o receive_v sept._n 4._o 1681._o he_o give_v this_o account_n i_o have_v not_o due_o prepare_v my_o heart_n for_o so_o great_a a_o work_n and_o ordinanance_n but_o bless_v for_o ever_o bless_a be_v the_o lord_n who_o do_v not_o deal_v with_o i_o according_a to_o my_o unpreparedness_n which_o if_o he_o have_v do_v i_o have_v not_o be_v here_o but_o be_v banish_v from_o his_o presence_n and_o so_o be_v under_o the_o death_n of_o death_n but_o he_o be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o a_o sight_n of_o himself_o which_o i_o esteem_v above_o life_n and_o likewise_o a_o sight_n of_o god_n and_o christ_n confer_v about_o man_n redemption_n i_o see_v the_o lord_n as_o it_o be_v say_v come_v you_o holy_a angel_n behold_v man_n be_v fall_v see_v if_o you_o can_v find_v a_o way_n for_o his_o recovery_n which_o they_o can_v not_o but_o christ_n take_v upon_o he_o man_n salvation_n and_o i_o see_v myself_o as_o it_o be_v in_o hell_n where_o i_o have_v for_o ever_o lay_v but_o christ_n come_v and_o draw_v i_o out_o than_o i_o embrace_v he_o as_o my_o prophet_n priest_n and_o king_n and_o become_v willing_a to_o forsake_v the_o world_n and_o all_o for_o christ_n o_o that_o i_o may_v do_v it_o more_o and_o more_o and_o never_o have_v this_o frame_n wear_v off_o but_o that_o while_o i_o be_o below_o with_o my_o body_n my_o soul_n may_v be_v above_o with_o my_o god_n etc._n etc._n the_o three_o sacrament_n be_v october_n 2d_o 1681._o on_o which_o he_o write_v thus_o as_o the_o minister_n in_o administer_a be_v say_v so_o that_o you_o be_v unfeigned_o willing_a to_o receive_v christ_n and_o who_o nothing_o will_v satisfy_v but_o he_o i_o bid_v come_v and_o welcome_a
etc._n ten_o so_o observant_a be_v he_o 〈◊〉_d all_o the_o working_n of_o his_o own_o heart_n that_o he_o set_v down_o how_o that_o when_o he_o be_v pray_v once_o in_o the_o dark_a cellar_n without_o any_o light_n the_o tempter_n possess_v he_o with_o fear_n that_o something_o will_v appear_v to_o affright_v he_o but_o god_n gracious_o step_v in_o and_o say_v to_o he_o fear_v not_o thou_o son_n of_o abraham_n etc._n etc._n gen._n 15.1_o eleven_o he_o record_v the_o very_a day_n wherein_o he_o miss_v his_o take_v a_o account_n of_o his_o own_o daily_a task_n of_o self_n examination_n and_o when_o he_o omit_v the_o scatter_n of_o some_o savoury_a discourse_n become_v table-talk_a at_o meat-time_n twelve_o he_o compute_v the_o very_a time_n first_o when_o mourn_v for_o sin_n be_v make_v sweet_a to_o his_o soul_n second_o when_o he_o enjoy_v god_n presence_n in_o prayer_n both_o by_o himself_o and_o with_o other_o three_o how_o often_o god_n come_v to_o he_o when_o disturb_v in_o duty_n or_o disappoint_v of_o it_o be_v constrain_v thereby_o sometime_o to_o pour_v out_o his_o heart_n to_o god_n in_o the_o shop_n by_o day_n and_o upon_o his_o bed_n by_o night_n in_o both_o which_o place_n he_o have_v sweet_a warming_n of_o spirit_n four_o how_o oft_o he_o make_v resignation_n of_o his_o soul_n to_o god_n which_o be_v very_o frequent_a as_o also_o how_o oft_o he_o renew_v his_o covenant_n with_o god_n especial_o upon_o sacrament_n day_n which_o be_v the_o most_o material_a remark_n whereof_o i_o will_v not_o omit_v one_o out_o of_o choice_n i_o can_v collect_v out_o of_o the_o many_o sheet_n i_o have_v to_o peruse_v in_o my_o oft_o read_v they_o over_o and_o have_v not_o the_o same_o matter_n so_o oft_o upon_o distinct_a occasion_n repeat_v be_v reduce_v by_o this_o method_n to_o those_o few_o several_a head_n this_o tract_n may_v have_v swell_v into_o a_o volume_n chap._n v._n the_o last_o subject_n of_o this_o discourse_n be_v twofold_a first_o the_o evidence_n he_o have_v for_o heaven_n second_o the_o character_n that_o be_v give_v he_o by_o gracious_a and_o judicious_a witnessing_n of_o other_o as_o to_o the_o first_o i_o find_v several_a evidence_n write_v with_o his_o own_o hand_n and_o which_o give_v sweet_a encouragement_n to_o his_o soul_n that_o he_o be_v a_o choose_a vessel_n of_o mercy_n and_o one_o to_o be_v fill_v as_o with_o grace_n here_o so_o with_o glory_n hereafter_o first_o i_o know_v my_o repentance_n say_v he_o because_o my_o sense_n under_o sin_n as_o a_o burden_n be_v heavy_a to_o my_o soul_n than_o all_o my_o affliction_n be_v to_o my_o body_n i_o be_o ashamed_a of_o my_o secret_a sin_n which_o no_o man_n see_v or_o know_v before_o the_o lord_n who_o see_v and_o know_v they_o and_o all_o other_o thing_n and_o i_o desire_v to_o leave_v my_o darling_n sin_n and_o to_o leave_v all_o love_n to_o it_o yea_o to_o loath_a it_o through_o my_o love_n i_o bear_v to_o my_o lord_n and_o dear_a redeemer_n who_o i_o account_v dear_a to_o i_o than_o any_o sin_n yea_o than_o all_o the_o world_n etc._n etc._n second_o i_o know_v say_v he_o that_o to_o have_v true_a faith_n by_o christ_n be_v more_o precious_a to_o i_o than_o all_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n i_o be_o willing_a to_o receive_v he_o into_o my_o heart_n as_o my_o lord_n and_o king_n to_o rule_v i_o and_o my_o faith_n work_v by_o love_n so_o that_o i_o be_o grieve_v for_o his_o absence_n and_o rejoice_v at_o his_o presence_n and_o i_o be_o willing_a to_o part_v with_o all_o for_o he_o that_o he_o may_v be_v my_o all_o and_o in_o all_o three_o i_o find_v a_o delight_n to_o do_v god_n will_v sometime_o in_o pray_v to_o he_o sometime_o in_o praise_v of_o he_o sometime_o in_o hear_v from_o he_o and_o sometime_o in_o meditate_v upon_o he_o and_o upon_o that_o work_n of_o man_n redemption_n four_o i_o feel_v my_o heart_n mourn_v most_o for_o that_o sin_n which_o most_o disturb_v my_o peace_n and_o most_o separate_v betwixt_o god_n and_o my_o soul_n and_o long_v most_o for_o that_o mercy_n that_o will_v do_v i_o most_o good_a in_o a_o die_a hour_n to_o wit_v not_o general_a but_o special_a mercy_n even_o mercy_n in_o christ_n five_o i_o can_v say_v that_o i_o love_v the_o lord_n for_o i_o hate_v that_o which_o grieve_v he_o and_o that_o because_o it_o grieve_v he_o and_o i_o love_v those_o that_o be_v most_o like_o he_o yea_o the_o place_n and_o duty_n wherein_o i_o have_v find_v the_o lord_n warm_v my_o heart_n and_o can_v be_v content_a without_o he_o in_o any_o sixthly_a i_o can_v say_v i_o have_v a_o principle_n of_o life_n spiritual_a for_o i_o find_v hungring_n and_o thirsting_n after_o a_o enjoyment_n of_o christ_n and_o find_v my_o soul_n grieve_v when_o he_o be_v dishonour_v either_o by_o myself_o or_o by_o other_o and_o i_o love_v long_a and_o look_v for_o his_o last_o appear_v and_o come_v seven_o i_o high_o value_v the_o gospel_n that_o word_n of_o christ_n and_o truth_n which_o bring_v good_a tiding_n even_o reconciliation_n and_o the_o dispensation_n of_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n which_o have_v be_v hide_v some_o thousand_o of_o year_n and_o now_o be_v forfeit_v yet_o gracious_o continue_v to_o we_o though_o withdraw_v from_o many_o nation_n i_o be_o thankful_a for_o it_o labour_v to_o live_v like_o it_o and_o to_o adorn_v it_o with_o my_o life_n daily_o eight_o i_o know_v that_o matter_n be_v agree_v with_o god_n so_o that_o he_o be_v now_o no_o adversary_n because_o i_o find_v a_o oneness_n with_o he_o 1._o in_o mind_n which_o be_v make_v correspondent_a with_o the_o mind_n of_o god_n by_o this_o agreement_n i_o can_v think_v the_o reproach_n of_o christ_n to_o be_v great_a riches_n than_o the_o treasure_n of_o aegrpt_a heb._n 11.26_o 2._o oneness_n of_o will_n i_o can_v say_v whether_o for_o life_n or_o death_n the_o will_n of_o the_o lord_n be_v do_v acts._n 21.14_o though_o there_o have_v be_v much_o ado_n to_o bring_v my_o will_n into_o a_o agreement_n with_o god_n and_o when_o i_o find_v not_o sometime_o a_o actual_a agreement_n yet_o have_v i_o always_o a_o habitual_a agreement_n of_o my_o will_n with_o the_o will_n of_o god_n 3._o oneness_n of_o affection_n i_o love_v what_o god_n love_v and_o hate_v what_o god_n hate_v psal_n 119.70_o jer._n 44.4_o i_o hate_v sin_n which_o god_n hate_v so_o i_o love_v holiness_n which_o god_n love_v 4._o oneness_n of_o way_n can_v two_o walk_v together_o unless_o they_o be_v agree_v amos_n 3.3_o psal_n 119.30_o and_o 25_o 5._o and_o isa_n 56.4_o 5._o 5._o oneness_n of_o interest_n god_n interest_n be_v i_o and_o my_o interest_n be_v god_n i_o can_v say_v in_o the_o witnessing_n of_o the_o holy_a ghost_n rom._n 9.1_o that_o there_o be_v this_o fivefold_a oneness_n betwixt_o god_n and_o i_o so_o be_v agree_v the_o nine_o evidence_n for_o his_o interest_n in_o heaven_n be_v his_o holy_a jealousy_n over_o his_o own_o heart_n in_o all_o his_o holy_a undertake_n ever_o fear_v that_o some_o by_o respect_n and_o not_o god_n glory_n be_v the_o motive_n that_o lead_v he_o to_o holy_a duty_n this_o he_o oft_o pray_v against_o and_o particular_o caution_n a_o gracious_a youngman_n with_o who_o he_o have_v agree_v to_o carry_v on_o a_o christian_a correspondency_n either_o in_o absence_n by_o letter_n or_o in_o presence_n by_o conference_n that_o herein_o they_o do_v not_o bring_v hurt_v instead_o of_o good_a to_o themselves_o by_o seek_v ourselves_o and_o not_o he_o who_o we_o be_v etc._n etc._n we_o be_v not_o our_o own_o but_o christ_n who_o pay_v dear_o for_o we_o far_o more_o than_o we_o be_v worth_a and_o we_o have_v covenant_v to_o glorify_v he_o not_o ourselves_o etc._n etc._n this_o holy_a jealousy_n be_v a_o bless_a frame_n of_o spirit_n ten_o his_o prize_v a_o union_n and_o communion_n with_o god_n above_o the_o confluence_n of_o all_o worldly_a comfort_n this_o point_n he_o in_o another_o letter_n to_o the_o youngman_n aforesaid_a when_o in_o the_o country_n by_o sickness_n much_o insist_o upon_o say_v while_o we_o enjoy_v god_n presence_n we_o have_v the_o hide_a manna_n and_o that_o joy_n which_o stranger_n to_o god_n intermeddle_v not_o not_o with_o all_o be_v nothing_o and_o worse_o than_o nothing_o without_o it_o it_o be_v heaven_n upon_o earth_n and_o it_o be_v heaven_n in_o the_o way_n to_o heaven_n thus_o david_n reckon_v one_o day_n with_o god_n better_a than_o a_o thousand_o without_o he_o etc._n etc._n eleven_o o_o what_o carefulness_n do_v i_o find_v in_o all_o his_o manuscript_n as_o well_o as_o in_o his_o letter_n express_v to_o keep_v his_o account_n even_o betwixt_o god_n and_o his_o soul_n that_o right_a reckon_n may_v keep_v they_o long_a friend_n in_o his_o
word_n with_o he_o for_o his_o promise_n be_v but_o with_o the_o silver_n of_o this_o life_n but_o his_o payment_n be_v with_o the_o gold_n of_o a_o better_a life_n solon_n say_v 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d 〈◊〉_d who_o god_n love_v dye_v young_a he_o be_v take_v away_o from_o the_o evil_a to_o come_v 2_o king_n 22.20_o isa_n 57.1_o he_o have_v live_v long_o enough_o that_o can_v say_v not_o i_o have_v marry_v my_o child_n to_o good_a husband_n as_o worldling_n say_v but_o i_o have_v marry_v my_o precious_a soul_n to_o the_o bless_a bridegroom_n this_o be_v his_o joy_n yet_o can_v be_v content_a to_o pass_v out_o of_o the_o midst_n of_o this_o joy_n on_o earth_n to_o possess_v a_o better_a and_o great_a iâ—_n heaven_n and_o o_o that_o we_o may_v enter_v into_o our_o master_n joy_n as_o he_o have_v do_v as_o a_o post_n that_o have_v deliver_v his_o packet_n to_o god_n a_o ship_n that_o be_v lay_v up_o in_o the_o haven_n of_o heaven_n &_o a_o eagle_n now_o feed_v on_o the_o carcase_n of_o christ_n finis_fw-la a_o brief_a relation_n of_o the_o first_o conversion_n and_o after_o that_o of_o the_o whole_a conversation_n of_o that_o precious_a young_a man_n mr._n john_n draper_n draw_v out_o of_o his_o experience_n exercise_n examination_n of_o himself_o and_o his_o evidence_n for_o heaven_n all_o writ_n with_o his_o own_o hand_n in_o character_n etc._n etc._n chap._n i._n have_v diligent_o peruse_v what_o a_o prodigious_a account_n he_o give_v of_o himself_o with_o â—is_n own_o handwriting_n i_o can_v not_o but_o stand_v astonish_v that_o one_o so_o young_a and_o a_o servant_n too_o and_o who_o have_v so_o much_o business_n on_o earth_n in_o his_o master_n service_n shall_v redeem_v so_o much_o time_n to_o make_v religion_n his_o business_n in_o serve_v his_o great_a master_n christ_n and_o in_o secure_v heaven_n for_o his_o soul_n though_o it_o seem_v almost_o incredible_a yet_o it_o be_v most_o certain_o true_a that_o he_o mellow_a much_o and_o ripen_v fast_o for_o abraham_n bosom_n as_o appear_v by_o the_o sequel_n this_o holy_a young_a man_n may_v be_v a_o very_a eminent_a pattern_n of_o piety_n to_o old_a as_o well_o as_o young_a man_n in_o a_o fourfold_a respect_n 1._o for_o his_o experience_n 2._o for_o his_o exercise_n 3._o for_o his_o self-examination_n and_o 4._o for_o his_o excellent_a character_n and_o evidence_n of_o his_o interest_n in_o a_o better_a world_n all_o which_o i_o find_v very_o strenuous_o state_v in_o his_o own_o handwriting_n though_o in_o character_n yet_o by_o the_o help_n of_o a_o key_n be_v make_v both_o legible_a and_o intelligible_a and_o now_o publish_v for_o public_a good_a i._o for_o his_o experience_n they_o fall_v under_o a_o twofold_a head_n the_o former_a relate_v to_o his_o first_o conversion_n and_o the_o latter_a to_o his_o whole_a conversation_n his_o conversion_n i_o understand_v be_v effectual_o wrought_v notwithstanding_o his_o strict_a and_o religious_a education_n and_o former_a conviction_n hereafter_o mention_v etc._n etc._n by_o a_o sermon_n preach_v from_o matth._n 5.25_o 26._o agree_v with_o thy_o adversary_n quick_o while_o thou_o be_v in_o the_o way_n etc._n etc._n about_o december_n the_o 8_o 1678._o from_o whence_o he_o learn_v those_o bless_a truth_n follow_v and_o not_o only_o have_v they_o fix_v upon_o his_o heart_n and_o seal_v upon_o his_o soul_n but_o also_o i_o find_v his_o own_o soul_n fix_v in_o wax_n upon_o they_o to_o express_v the_o great_a veneration_n of_o they_o for_o their_o be_v so_o ravish_v and_o refresh_v in_o the_o hand_n of_o christ_n to_o his_o spirit_n the_o great_a truth_n that_o have_v a_o abide_a work_n upon_o his_o heart_n when_o this_o time_n of_o love_n come_v upon_o he_o be_v these_o i._o that_o god_n and_o man_n be_v at_o variance_n through_o sin_n they_o be_v at_o a_o distance_n ii_o it_o be_v man_n wisdom_n to_o make_v his_o peace_n with_o god_n his_o adversary_n iii_o this_o must_v be_v do_v quick_o while_o man_n be_v in_o his_o way_n before_o he_o be_v bring_v to_o the_o judge_n house_n by_o death_n etc._n etc._n iv_o there_o be_v great_a danger_n in_o delay_v or_o defer_v this_o agreement_n but_o sinner_n shall_v take_v up_o with_o god_n before_o it_o be_v too_o late_a etc._n etc._n v._o that_o god_n have_v a_o action_n of_o debt_n for_o which_o to_o arrest_v every_o sinner_n etc._n etc._n vi_o this_o debt_n of_o sin_n be_v strange_o circumstance_v 1._o it_o be_v a_o hereditary_a 2_o a_o universal_a debt_n both_o every_o man_n be_v bear_v in_o this_o debt_n and_o no_o man_n live_v be_v exempt_v from_o it_o 3._o it_o be_v a_o increase_a and_o a_o grow_a debt_n the_o long_a it_o run_v on_o in_o a_o man_n life_n etc._n etc._n 4._o it_o be_v a_o infinite_a debt_n and_o therefore_o insoluble_a it_o can_v be_v pay_v etc._n etc._n no_o finite_a creature_n can_v ever_o pay_v this_o infinite_a debt_n to_o the_o infinite_a creator_n those_o bless_a truth_n the_o lord_n speak_v with_o a_o strong_a hand_n as_o isa_n 8.11_o to_o this_o young_a man_n heart_n and_o make_v he_o consider_v first_o that_o till_o this_o agreement_n be_v make_v my_o god_n be_v my_o adversary_n and_o i_o have_v better_o have_v all_o the_o world_n my_o enemy_n the_o maker_n of_o the_o world_n who_o if_o a_o friend_n can_v make_v my_o enemy_n friend_n etc._n etc._n second_o i_o can_v stand_v it_o out_o with_o the_o great_a god_n who_o will_v burn_v up_o those_o briar_n that_o set_v themselves_o against_o he_o isa_n 27.4_o three_o it_o be_v no_o frivolous_a thing_n to_o be_v do_v or_o undo_v but_o it_o be_v a_o matter_n of_o great_a moment_n eternal_a weal_n and_o woe_n hang_v upon_o it_o etc._n etc._n four_o i_o must_v agree_v etc._n etc._n because_o there_o be_v no_o other_o way_n in_o all_o the_o world_n to_o take_v up_o this_o prodigious_a debt_n but_o by_o agreement_n etc._n etc._n five_o it_o will_v not_o always_o be_v my_o privilege_n to_o make_v a_o agreement_n time_n will_v not_o last_v always_o for_o take_v up_o the_o controversy_n for_o when_o death_n come_v than_o it_o be_v to_o late_a etc._n etc._n six_o if_o my_o cause_n come_v before_o the_o righteous_a judge_n i_o be_o sure_a to_o be_v cast_v because_o it_o be_v a_o bad_a cause_n and_o that_o judge_n will_v not_o be_v bribe_v with_o any_o thing_n in_o the_o day_n of_o judgement_n seven_o it_o i_o be_v cast_v in_o my_o cause_n i_o shall_v be_v deliver_v up_o by_o the_o judge_n to_o god_n gaoler_n and_o executioner_n to_o wit_n the_o devil_n eight_o if_o i_o be_v deliver_v over_o to_o god_n officer_n of_o justice_n he_o will_v cast_v i_o into_o prison_n that_o be_v drag_v i_o into_o hell_n nine_o if_o once_o i_o be_v cast_v into_o the_o prison_n of_o hell_n there_o must_v i_o lie_v till_o i_o have_v pay_v the_o uttermost_a farthing_n which_o can_v never_o be_v do_v i_o must_v be_v always_o pay_v the_o debt_n yet_o never_o have_v pay_v it_o by_o these_o soul-awaking_a consideration_n the_o lord_n help_v he_o through_o his_o grace_n to_o conclude_v with_o himself_o that_o it_o be_v the_o high_a wisdom_n in_o the_o world_n to_o agree_v quick_o with_o god_n his_o adversary_n as_o he_o be_v a_o child_n of_o wrath_n by_o nature_n eph._n 2.3_o and_o it_o will_v be_v the_o most_o sublime_a folly_n for_o he_o any_o long_a to_o defer_v it_o etc._n etc._n hereupon_o the_o lord_n have_v thus_o open_v his_o eye_n touch_v his_o heart_n and_o break_v down_o window_n into_o his_o dark_a soul_n upon_o further_a inquiry_n he_o learn_v that_o this_o vast_a debt_n he_o be_v owe_v to_o divine_a justice_n no_o less_o than_o ten_o thousand_o talent_n mat._n 18.24_o which_o be_v no_o less_o than_o a_o king_n ransom_n can_v never_o be_v compound_v for_o this_o just_a judge_n will_v have_v either_o all_o or_o none_o and_o till_o a_o agreement_n be_v make_v god_n be_v a_o angry_a adversasary_n and_o better_o i_o shall_v anger_v all_o the_o witch_n in_o the_o world_n and_o all_o the_o devil_n in_o hell_n than_o anger_n the_o great_a god_n i_o must_v agree_v with_o he_o then_o the_o inquiry_n be_v make_v how_o this_o may_v be_v do_v the_o answer_n be_v there_o be_v something_o lay_v on_o god_n part_n and_o something_o on_o you_o that_o on_o god_n part_n be_v 1._o to_o find_v a_o arbitrator_n or_o days-man_n one_o more_o than_o a_o man_n for_o what_o can_v a_o mere_a man_n do_v with_o a_o angry_a god_n 2._o god_n find_v a_o ransom_n a_o surety_n to_o satisfy_v the_o debt_n with_o the_o travel_n of_o his_o soul_n job_n 33.24_o heb._n 7.22_o and_o isa_n 53.11_o 3._o god_n make_v the_o sinner_n heart_n wilâ—ing_v to_o accept_v of_o this_o way_n of_o agreement_n phil_n 2.13_o that_o which_o â—ays_v on_o man_n part_n be_v two_o
to_o the_o unconvert_v which_o through_o grace_n show_v i_o the_o necessity_n of_o my_o conversion_n yet_o all_o this_o time_n never_o consult_v with_o any_o man_n about_o my_o sin_n but_o only_o confess_v they_o to_o god_n till_o i_o meet_v with_o mr._n hooker_n soul_n preparation_n for_o christ_n which_o convince_v i_o to_o advise_v with_o some_o godly_a minister_n hereupon_o i_o do_v address_v to_o one_o though_o a_o stranger_n to_o he_o say_v sir_n i_o can_v i_o dare_v not_o any_o long_o refrain_v have_v ask_v myself_o what_o fitness_n i_o have_v to_o die_v be_v answer_v i_o be_v unfit_a till_o i_o have_v ease_v my_o heart_n to_o you_o as_o follow_v 1._o when_o i_o be_v 7._o year_n old_a i_o tear_v my_o bible_n and_o cast_v away_o my_o catechism_n 2._o i_o have_v break_v the_o sabbath_n by_o ramble_v abroad_o play_v at_o farthing_n with_o naughty_a boy_n and_o wash_v myself_o in_o the_o field_n when_o i_o shall_v have_v be_v at_o the_o church_n etc._n etc._n 3._o by_o excuse_v my_o sin_n with_o a_o lie_n so_o add_v one_o sin_n to_o another_o for_o cover_v it_o 4._o nor_o have_v i_o be_v free_a from_o youthful_a lust_n which_o young_a timothy_n be_v bid_v to_o flee_v but_o my_o corrupt_a heart_n have_v have_v working_n after_o the_o act_n several_a time_n yet_o have_v be_v wonderful_o prevent_v by_o the_o advice_n of_o my_o godly_a sister_n who_o lay_v before_o i_o christ_n word_n mat._n 5.28_o whoever_o look_v on_o a_o woman_n to_o lust_n after_o she_o etc._n etc._n however_o i_o be_o guilty_a of_o heart-adultry_n yea_o 5._o i_o have_v err_v and_o laugh_v when_o i_o have_v hear_v the_o word_n preach_v with_o power_n etc._n etc._n hereupon_o the_o good_a minister_n give_v i_o grave_a council_n and_o comfort_n suitable_a to_o my_o penitent_a case_n and_o condition_n yet_o notwithstane_v all_o this_o i_o be_v not_o effectual_o call_v nor_o thorough_o convert_v and_o make_v a_o new_a creature_n until_o afterward_o i_o hear_v that_o sermon_n upon_o mat._n 5.25_o 26._o as_o the_o account_n above_o mention_v specifi_v but_o alas_o in_o my_o apprenticeship_n through_o the_o hurry_v of_o the_o world_n in_o our_o way_n of_o trade_v especial_o in_o may_n and_o june_n etc._n etc._n i_o become_v negligent_a of_o my_o close_a walk_v with_o god_n not_o mind_v as_o i_o may_v to_o continue_v in_o his_o love_n when_o god_n my_o adversary_n be_v reconcile_v to_o i_o i_o neglect_v daily_o self-examination_n or_o do_v it_o only_o to_o half_a part_n be_v dull_a and_o sleepy_a through_o weariness_n with_o worldly_a work_n at_o night_n than_o my_o old_a corruption_n get_v head_n again_o upon_o i_o i_o break_v my_o covenant_n make_v at_o the_o agreement_n with_o my_o adversary_n and_o i_o apostatise_v from_o these_o sweet_a thought_n i_o former_o have_v upon_o my_o god_n and_o dear_a redeemer_n for_o which_o have_v he_o not_o be_v gracious_a i_o have_v be_v damn_v and_o rot_v in_o hell_n for_o ever_o this_o consideration_n make_v i_o exclaim_v against_o myself_o say_v o_o silly_a soul_n to_o heed_n a_o perish_a die_a world_n before_o heaven_n such_o sadness_n and_o darkness_n seize_v on_o i_o at_o this_o time_n when_o the_o thing_n of_o the_o world_n i_o find_v have_v be_v the_o substance_n of_o my_o thought_n and_o discourse_n that_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v nor_o whither_o to_o go_v at_o last_o i_o turn_v to_o the_o lord_n and_o beg_v of_o he_o that_o he_o will_v not_o take_v the_o forfeiture_n nor_o suffer_v i_o to_o run_v this_o ready_a way_n to_o utter_v destruction_n i_o cry_v lord_n it_o be_v just_a with_o thou_o to_o hurl_v mein_fw-ge to_o hell_n and_o into_o the_o hot_a place_n thereof_o and_o never_o wait_v long_o upon_o such_o a_o cumber-ground_n as_o i_o be_o but_o to_o thou_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n do_v i_o run_v for_o refuge_n as_o one_o that_o be_o hungry_a and_o hardly_o bestead_v poor_a blind_a naked_a wretched_a and_o miserable_a a_o loathsome_a wretch_n unworthy_a to_o be_v call_v a_o servant_n much_o less_o a_o son_n have_v so_o wicked_o depart_v from_o my_o god_n yet_o through_o thou_o will_v i_o venture_v again_o to_o my_o god_n and_o by_o thy_o strength_n i_o will_v better_o mind_v my_o future_a walking_n o_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n i_o die_v without_o thou_o o_o come_v in_o once_o again_o and_o let_v i_o feel_v once_o more_o what_o it_o be_v to_o have_v christ_n dwell_v in_o my_o soul_n o_o find_v a_o time_n of_o love_n wherein_o to_o disperse_v those_o dark_a cloud_n and_o shine_v upon_o my_o dead_a and_o darken_v soul_n o_o have_v my_o night_n no_o day_n it_o be_v a_o hell_n to_o i_o to_o be_v thrust_v away_o from_o god_n i_o know_v the_o cause_n be_v all_o at_o home_n my_o sin_n my_o sin_n o_o let_v it_o be_v do_v away_o then_o shall_v i_o recover_v the_o light_n of_o thy_o countenance_n as_o former_o and_o in_o so_o do_v i_o do_v engage_v to_o amend_v my_o manner_n depend_v on_o thy_o help_n my_o hand_n be_v witness_n john_n draper_n now_o to_o bind_v his_o soul_n and_o slippery_a heart_n to_o god_n the_o better_a in_o observe_v this_o new_a engagement_n he_o write_v down_o many_o profitable_a rule_n in_o his_o pocket_n book_n as_o 1._o in_o a_o day_n of_o humiliation_n i_o must_v lay_v all_o my_o sin_n before_o the_o lord_n and_o resolve_n to_o forsake_v they_o 2._o i_o must_v look_v upon_o my_o sin_n of_o passion_n as_o a_o fever_n in_o my_o mind_n of_o lust_n as_o fire_n in_o my_o bone_n of_o pride_n as_o a_o fatal_a tympany_n in_o my_o soul_n of_o covetousness_n as_o a_o insatiable_a and_o unsufferable_a thirst_n and_o the_o sin_n of_o envy_n or_o malice_n as_o rank_a poison_n in_o the_o heart_n 3._o if_o i_o will_v run_v so_o as_o to_o obtain_v i_o must_v cast_v off_o all_o those_o weight_n or_o sin_n that_o do_v so_o easy_o beset_v i_o 4._o i_o must_v resolve_v to_o begin_v betimes_o the_o run_v of_o this_o race_n 5._o nor_o must_v i_o loiter_v in_o the_o way_n 6._o nor_o must_v i_o cumber_v myself_o with_o the_o needless_a encumbrance_n of_o the_o world_n 7._o i_o must_v look_v to_o every_o part_n of_o my_o way_n with_o equal_a care_n and_o observation_n 8._o nor_o must_v i_o ever_o think_v i_o have_v go_v far_o enough_o till_o i_o have_v obtain_v the_o prize_n 9_o and_o the_o further_o i_o have_v run_v in_o this_o race_n the_o more_o eager_a shall_v be_v to_o obtain_v the_o end_n 10._o i_o must_v always_o think_v that_o i_o be_o upon_o the_o brink_n of_o eternity_n and_o therefore_o shall_v give_v all_o diligence_n to_o make_v my_o call_n and_o election_n sure_a work_v out_o my_o salvation_n and_o make_v sure_a work_n for_o a_o better_a world_n before_o i_o go_v hence_o to_o be_v see_v no_o more_o 11._o i_o must_v ever_o come_v to_o god_n as_o to_o a_o soul-pittying_a a_o sin-pardoning_a and_o a_o prayer-hearing_a god_n 12._o i_o must_v be_v fervent_a in_o prayer_n yet_o submit_v to_o god_n soveraignâ—y_n 13._o occasion_n of_o be_v too_o â—ong_o alone_a be_v to_o be_v avoid_v so_o â—s_v strong_a drink_n and_o too_o full_a a_o diet_n 14._o i_o must_v be_v think_v oft_o death_n judgement_n hell_n and_o heaâ—en_n those_o four_o last_o thing_n 15._o i_o must_v not_o stretch_v my_o christian_a liberty_n too_o far_o for_o he_o that_o dare_v go_v so_o far_o as_o he_o think_v he_o may_v go_v sometime_o far_o than_o he_o shall_v etc._n etc._n 16._o i_o must_v bridle_v my_o tongue_n and_o not_o be_v too_o apt_a to_o speak_v of_o thing_n whereof_o i_o be_o not_o certain_a and_o much_o more_o to_o the_o same_o purpose_n both_o for_o particular_a and_o general_a instruction_n too_o long_o to_o insert_v here_o this_o holy_a youngman_n put_v down_o in_o his_o pocket_n book_n also_o how_o he_o have_v be_v exercise_v with_o temptation_n to_o sin_n as_o to_o theft_n adultery_n play_v at_o card_n and_o profane_v the_o sabbath_n etc._n etc._n as_o also_o with_o trial_n to_o prevent_v temptation_n instance_v that_o in_o a_o lash_n upon_o his_o eye_n with_o a_o coach-whip_n whereby_o the_o lord_n heal_v he_o of_o high_a lustful_a eye_n which_o have_v be_v too_o full_a of_o adultery_n 2._o pet._n 2.14_o chap._n iu._n now_o come_v we_o to_o the_o three_o head_n his_o examination_n of_o himself_o in_o the_o working_n of_o his_o heart_n relate_v to_o his_o communion_n with_o god_n it_o be_v not_o enough_o to_o this_o good_a soul_n to_o examine_v himself_o only_a when_o he_o be_v approach_v to_o the_o lord_n table_n on_o the_o lord_n day_n as_o be_v before_o specify_v but_o he_o look_v upon_o it_o as_o his_o duty_n to_o do_v it_o every_o day_n both_o every_o sabbath-day_n when_o there_o be_v no_o sacrament_n and_o every_o week_n day_n also_o make_v it_o his_o continual_a daily_a
task_n as_o appear_v by_o his_o most_o diligent_a and_o divine_a diary_n this_o necessary_a but_o much_o neglect_a work_n of_o self-tryal_n i_o find_v he_o begin_v at_o the_o spring-time_n aequinoctial_a upon_o the_o 10._o of_o march_n 1681_o ‥_o o_o holy_a and_o happy_a soul_n that_o have_v now_o his_o hard_a freeze_a heart_n thus_o kind_o thaw_v by_o a_o look_n of_o love_n from_o the_o son_n of_o righteousness_n as_o peter_n be_v by_o a_o look_v from_o his_o lord_n luke_n 22.61_o 62_o hereby_o the_o lord_n help_v he_o to_o say_v with_o the_o bridegroom_n in_o the_o song_n the_o winter_n be_v pass_v the_o rain_n be_v over_o and_o go_v the_o flower_n appear_v on_o the_o earth_n etc._n etc._n cant._n 2.10_o 11_o 12_o 13.1_o most_o bless_a spring_n of_o grace_n better_a than_o that_o of_o grass_n be_v now_o upon_o he_o though_o i_o can_v give_v so_o distinct_a a_o account_n of_o his_o diary_n as_o i_o will_v because_o it_o be_v write_v in_o obscure_a character_n only_o with_o a_o black_a pencil_n intend_v it_o seem_v sole_o for_o hiâ—_n own_o private_a use_n yet_o with_o the_o beâ—â—_n key_n we_o can_v get_v it_o have_v be_v open_v that_o such_o precious_a treasurâ—_n shall_v not_o be_v lose_v but_o communicate_v for_o the_o common_a good_a i_o begin_v here_o from_o the_o manuscript_n both_o as_o to_o the_o matter_n and_o as_o to_o the_o time_n as_o i_o can_v judge_v upon_o what_o sabbath_n day_n i_o hear_v a_o sermon_n upon_o peter_n go_v out_o and_o weep_v bitter_o after_o christ_n have_v look_v upon_o he_o say_v he_o i_o go_v to_o prayer_n that_o night_n and_o beg_v of_o god_n to_o give_v i_o peter_n repentanoe_n and_o in_o the_o earnestness_n of_o spirit_n i_o fall_v flat_a upon_o the_o ground_n before_o the_o lord_n to_o beg_v it_o then_o i_o lay_v long_o till_o i_o have_v some_o comfort_n from_o my_o god_n yet_o remain_v i_o dull_a and_o muddy_a till_o wednesday_n night_n and_o then_o have_v i_o some_o communion_n with_o my_o god_n again_o even_o a_o new_a taste_n of_o his_o first_o goodness_n and_o comfort_n in_o prayer_n on_o thursday_n night_n do_v i_o meet_v he_o who_o my_o soul_n love_v again_o which_o i_o find_v very_o useful_a to_o i_o find_v by_o woeful_a experience_n that_o without_o christ_n strengthen_v i_o i_o can_v do_v nothing_o spiritual_o nor_o before_o the_o sabbath_n ensue_v nor_o in_o it_o have_v i_o the_o sweet_a communion_n with_o god_n i_o use_v to_o have_v before_o but_o on_o monday_n night_n i_o meet_v my_o god_n have_v a_o pretty_a deal_n of_o time_n that_o evening_n for_o tuesday_n morning_n be_v not_o so_o good_a nor_o can_v i_o raise_v my_o heart_n at_o night_n till_o it_o be_v very_o late_o and_o then_o have_v i_o my_o former_a sweetness_n but_o much_o more_o upon_o wednesday_n the_o same_o i_o find_v upon_o the_o sabbath_n follow_v and_o on_o monday_n night_n and_o on_o the_o next_o night_n also_o though_o everdul_a at_o the_o first_o yet_o enlarge_v after_o upon_o wednesday_n night_n i_o pray_v twice_o successive_o and_o find_v more_o than_o ordinary_a income_n on_o thursday_n again_o i_o have_v inlargement_n but_o at_o the_o close_a the_o devil_n make_v i_o drowsy_a to_o cut_v short_a my_o duty_n etc._n etc._n but_o on_o friday_n my_o heart_n be_v keep_v better_o raise_v on_o saturday_n i_o beg_v of_o god_n to_o direct_v i_o how_o i_o may_v meet_v the_o blessing_n of_o the_o next_o sabbath_n which_o through_o grace_n i_o meet_v with_o on_o that_o day_n yet_o be_v trouble_v with_o wander_n in_o my_o evening_n duty_n on_o monday_n the_o presence_n of_o god_n be_v with_o i_o and_o make_v my_o duty_n sweet_a at_o night_n on_o tuesday_n i_o meet_v with_o a_o precious_a opportunity_n for_o my_o soul_n good_a on_o wednesday_n i_o do_v not_o so_o well_o which_o make_v i_o chide_v my_o soul_n for_o no_o better_o requite_v the_o lord_n kindness_n on_o thursday_n morning_n i_o have_v god_n presence_n &_o the_o same_o at_o night_n though_o trouble_v with_o wander_n on_o friday_n i_o have_v many_o outward_a mercy_n yet_o can_v improve_v aright_o neither_o god_n word_n of_o grace_n nor_o his_o work_n of_o mercy_n on_o saturday_n have_v spare_a time_n from_o business_n i_o seek_v the_o lord_n thrice_o for_o a_o large_a sight_n of_o the_o light_n of_o his_o countenance_n when_o the_o sabbath_n come_v the_o lord_n give_v i_o a_o answer_n of_o peace_n etc._n etc._n thus_o may_v a_o large_a account_n of_o this_o gracious_a youngman_n self-tryal_n and_o watch_n over_o his_o own_o way_n from_o month_n to_o month_n all_o along_o but_o because_o to_o do_v so_o distinct_o from_o day_n to_o day_n will_v fill_v a_o volume_n i_o must_v therefore_o wave_v it_o and_o that_o not_o out_o of_o judgement_n only_o but_o out_o of_o necessity_n also_o see_v the_o key_n that_o open_v his_o charactars_n can_v not_o reach_v they_o all_o neither_o in_o point_n of_o time_n nor_o in_o point_n of_o matter_n the_o judicious_a reader_n may_v easy_o imagine_v that_o this_o defect_n will_v lame_a we_o in_o this_o work_n yet_o though_o it_o cost_v i_o unspeakable_a trouble_n and_o pain_n i_o shall_v follow_v my_o thread_n in_o this_o labyrinth_n i_o have_v already_o give_v a_o exact_a account_n how_o he_o examine_v himself_o upon_o every_o monthly_a sacrament_n from_o august_n 7._o 1681._o to_o jan._n 7._o 1681_o 3._o which_o be_v the_o last_o he_o do_v partake_v of_o for_o not_o long_o after_o his_o dear_a redeemer_n who_o he_o have_v so_o oft_o admire_v and_o embrace_v in_o the_o lord_n supper_n upon_o earth_n call_v he_o home_o to_o sup_v and_o feast_n with_o he_o in_o heaven_n as_o to_o his_o self-tryal_n at_o all_o other_o time_n between_o every_o one_o of_o those_o seventeen_o sacrament_n i_o shall_v proceed_v to_o relate_v so_o far_o as_o my_o key_n will_v carry_v i_o the_o best_a computation_n i_o can_v make_v out_o of_o the_o many_o manuscript_n consist_v of_o above_o thirty_o sheet_n which_o i_o have_v to_o abridge_v and_o methodize_v draw_v out_o of_o his_o diary_n pocket-book_n and_o almanac_n etc._n etc._n he_o renew_v his_o self-examining_a work_n again_o upon_o march_n 17._o 1681_o 2._o be_v friday_n how_o he_o spend_v all_o the_o time_n from_o the_o last_o march_n to_o this_o save_v only_o relate_v to_o the_o sacrament_n we_o must_v be_v content_a to_o want_v it_o for_o want_v of_o better_a help_n but_o upon_o that_o day_n he_o have_v leave_v upon_o record_n he_o have_v wander_v thought_n in_o duty_n do_v little_a for_o the_o good_a of_o other_o my_o sin_n say_v he_o lie_v but_o light_n i_o mourn_v not_o for_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o land_n i_o look_v not_o into_o my_o own_o heart_n nor_o be_v i_o concern_v in_o holy_a ejaculation_n the_o same_o he_o say_v of_o himself_o in_o spend_v the_o 18_o and_o march_v the_o 19_o be_v the_o sabbath_n he_o remark_n the_o same_o omission_n and_o not_o have_v a_o frame_n suitable_a to_o the_o day_n yea_o in_o night-duty_n pester_v with_o wander_n on_o march_n 20._o i_o arise_v from_o table_n without_o droop_v be_v full_a glad_a to_o meet_v god_n there_o march_n 21._o have_v the_o former_a omission_n and_o heaven_n little_a in_o my_o sight_n 22d_o day_n can_v not_o mourn_v for_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o land_n and_o the_o same_o frame_n be_v upon_o i_o the_o 23._o and_o 24._o nor_o can_v i_o do_v better_a or_o look_v into_o my_o heart_n the_o 25_o of_o march_n 1682._o nor_o the_o six_o follow_a day_n of_o that_o month_n can_v he_o shake_v of_o those_o omission_n april_n the_o first_o he_o brand_v himself_o with_o the_o same_o neglect_v the_o second_o day_n he_o add_v to_o those_o neglect_n that_o wander_a thought_n have_v eat_v up_o the_o life_n of_o his_o duty_n on_o the_o three_o the_o same_o complaint_n on_o the_o four_o miss_v vain_a thought_n in_o a_o good_a measure_n yet_o only_o through_o the_o strength_n oâ—_n christ_n but_o on_o five_o he_o add_v god_n our_o of_o sight_n &_o heaven_n out_o of_o mind_n on_o the_o six_o he_o make_v the_o same_o moan_n of_o seven_o my_o own_o sin_n and_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o land_n lie_v too_o light_a upon_o my_o heart_n etc._n etc._n eight_o the_o same_o and_o that_o he_o have_v do_v nothing_o extraordinary_a for_o the_o church_n in_o herday_o of_o distress_n nine_o the_o same_o yet_o have_v some_o good_a thought_n but_o trouble_v with_o wander_n ten_o the_o same_o and_o so_o the_o eleven_o add_v i_o have_v be_v this_o day_n tempt_v to_o pride_n so_o the_o twelve_o thirteen_o and_o fourteen_o be_v fill_v with_o the_o like_a complaint_n and_o fifteen_o he_o add_v i_o have_v be_v spend_v this_o noon_n much_o too_o vain_o the_o sixteenth_o be_v the_o sabbath_n he_o bless_a god_n that_o distraction_n have_v not_o dull_v he_o
etc._n etc._n psal_n 90.13_o 14._o he_o can_v find_v nothing_o in_o all_o the_o world_n but_o divine_a mercy_n to_o be_v a_o congruous_a and_o competent_a remedy_n for_o humane_a malady_n and_o mortal_a misery_n and_o it_o be_v not_o a_o little_a of_o mercy_n will_v do_v but_o he_o must_v have_v much_o even_o as_o much_o as_o will_v satisfy_v oh_o satisfy_v etc._n etc._n the_o salve_n must_v be_v suitable_a to_o the_o sore_a for_o quantity_n as_o well_o as_o quality_n great_a misery_n smart_v under_o require_v great_a mercy_n to_o cure_v it_o yea_o and_o he_o must_v have_v it_o early_o also_o oh_o satisfy_v i_o early_o etc._n etc._n the_o soul_n of_o a_o frail_a sinner_n make_v sensible_a of_o his_o sinful_a frailty_n even_o belong_v after_o mercy_n he_o can_v live_v without_o it_o he_o dare_v not_o die_v without_o it_o he_o must_v have_v mercy_n both_o the_o give_v and_o the_o forgive_a mercy_n whatever_o else_o he_o want_v it_o be_v the_o vnum_fw-la necessarium_fw-la he_o must_v have_v it_o speedy_o or_o he_o can_v sit_v down_o satisfy_v valde_fw-la protestatus_fw-la sum_fw-la i_o nolle_fw-la sic_fw-la a_o deo_fw-la satiari_fw-la god_n say_v luther_n shall_v not_o put_v i_o off_o with_o pleasure_n treasure_n honour_n or_o any_o thing_n below_o his_o mercy_n mercy_n give_v we_o much_o yet_o forgive_v we_o more_o etc._n etc._n the_o four_o observation_n arise_v from_o the_o body_n and_o and_o substance_n of_o the_o text_n more_o to_o be_v insist_v upon_o to_o wit_n doctr._fw-la 4._o man_n be_v life_n be_v but_o a_o poor_a pilgrimage_n it_o be_v twice_o thus_o title_v in_o my_o text_n jacob_n call_v his_o own_o life_n a_o pilgrimage_n in_o the_o forepart_n of_o it_o and_o the_o life_n of_o his_o progenitor_n he_o call_v a_o pilgrimage_n also_o in_o the_o latter_a part_n the_o apostle_n james_n move_v a_o parallel_n question_n to_o this_o of_o pharoah_n the_o latter_a ask_v what_o be_v your_o age_n gen._n 47.8_o and_o the_o former_a ask_v what_o be_v your_o life_n jam._n 4.14_o this_o of_o the_o apostle_n admit_v of_o a_o double_a answer_n the_o first_o be_v philosophical_a and_o the_o second_o be_v theologicdl_n the_o first_o be_v that_o answer_v which_o not_o vain_a but_o solid_a and_o sage_a philosophy_n give_v to_o the_o apostle_n question_v what_o be_v man_n life_n to_o show_v the_o nature_n of_o it_o 1._o plato_n that_o divine_a philosopher_n call_v man_n life_n a_o game_n at_o dice_n wherein_o what_o shall_v be_v the_o cast_n wear_v or_o less_o be_v not_o in_o the_o gamester_n power_n yet_o whatever_o be_v the_o cast_n it_o be_v the_o gamester_n duty_n to_o make_v the_o best_a improvement_n of_o it_o that_o he_o may_v win_v the_o game_n this_o platonic_a notion_n carry_v a_o correspondency_n with_o the_o analogy_n of_o faith_n and_o with_o the_o scripture_n of_o truth_n which_o say_v man_n way_n be_v not_o in_o himself_o etc._n etc._n jerem._n 10.23_o it_o be_v indeed_o the_o say_v of_o some_o cuique_fw-la suae_fw-la fortunae_fw-la faber_n every_o man_n be_v the_o framer_n of_o his_o own_o fortune_n which_o may_v be_v take_v in_o sano_n sensu_fw-la if_o interpret_v only_o by_o that_o first_o sermon_n after_o that_o upon_o the_o fall_n which_o god_n himself_o preach_v to_o cain_n gen._n 4.7_o if_o thou_o do_v well_o shall_v thou_o not_o he_o accept_v but_o if_o thou_o do_v ill_a sin_n lie_v at_o thy_o door_n notwithstanding_o it_o be_v not_o in_o man_n to_o direct_v his_o own_o step_n faith_n jeremy_n much_o less_o to_o order_v the_o success_n of_o his_o work_n solomon_n say_v man_n diligence_n without_o god_n blessing_n can_v enrich_v prov._n 10.4_o 22._o man_n know_v not_o therefore_o what_o his_o cast_n shall_v be_v more_o or_o less_o in_o this_o life_n yet_o be_v it_o his_o duty_n to_o make_v the_o best_a and_o if_o it_o be_v possible_a a_o bless_a improvement_n of_o all_o occurrency_n of_o providence_n attend_v he_o that_o through_o grace_n which_o be_v the_o true_a philosopbers_n stone_n that_o turn_v all_o it_o touch_v into_o gold_n all_o natural_a and_o moral_a evil_n may_v be_v convert_v into_o spiritual_a good_a this_o be_v the_o only_a way_n to_o win_v the_o best_a game_n in_o the_o world_n vincenti_fw-la dabitur_fw-la corona_fw-la vitæ_fw-la the_o winner_n wage_n be_v eternal_a glory_n revelat._n 2.10_o 17_o 26._o and_o 3.5.12.21_o second_o next_o to_o plato_n hear_v seneca_n these_o two_o be_v the_o two_o great_a luminary_n of_o the_o heathen_a world_n who_o abound_v in_o his_o allusion_n upon_o this_o point_n as_o 1._o this_o wise_a morallist_n call_v man_n life_n a_o warfare_n wherein_o how_o soon_o our_o enemy_n death_n will_v come_v upon_o we_o and_o overcome_v we_o we_o know_v not_o therefore_o shall_v we_o be_v always_o upon_o our_o watch_n and_o ward_n 2._o he_o compare_v man_n life_n to_o a_o flash_n of_o lightning_n which_o immediate_o appear_v and_o as_o immediate_o disappear_v again_o 3._o the_o philosopher_n come_v up_o high_a to_o the_o very_a term_n of_o our_o text_n and_o plain_o say_v that_o man_n life_n be_v but_o a_o pilgrimage_n and_o pathway_n to_o death_n some_o indeed_o say_v that_o this_o same_o seneca_n be_v acquaint_v with_o the_o apostle_n paul_n his_o contemporary_a in_o nero_n time_n and_o that_o epistle_n be_v write_v from_o each_o to_o other_o so_o may_v borrow_v such_o divine_a notion_n from_o he_o but_o sure_o i_o be_o he_o can_v not_o be_v conversant_a with_o our_o patriarch_n jacob_n unless_o in_o moses_n pentateuch_n from_o which_o he_o may_v borrow_v such_o sacred_a phrase_n etc._n etc._n as_o homer_n do_v his_o alcinous_n garden_n etc._n etc._n and_o ovid_n his_o deucalion_n flood_n etc._n etc._n from_o thence_o three_o pythagoras_n brief_o of_o the_o rest_n compare_v man_n life_n to_o a_o stage-play_a on_o a_o theatre_n where_o a_o man_n act_v his_o part_n for_o a_o while_n then_o retire_v be_v disattired_n or_o devest_v of_o all_o his_o histrionical_a attire_n and_o act_v garment_n four_o to_o this_o add_v that_o of_o simonides_n relate_v by_o rodulphus_fw-la agricola_n who_o be_v ask_v what_o man_n life_n be_v answer_v with_o a_o silent_a sign_n show_v himself_o to_o the_o company_n a_o little_a while_n and_o then_o withdraw_a out_o of_o their_o sight_n five_o epictetus_n declare_v man_n life_n to_o be_v like_o a_o voyage_n at_o sea_n upon_o the_o narrow_a sea_n wherein_o he_o meet_v with_o high_a wind_n rough_a water_n surge_a wave_n as_o it_o be_v all_o in_o a_o conspiracy_n to_o swallow_v he_o up_o and_o if_o he_o escape_v the_o storm_n either_o ragged_a rock_n or_o cruel_a quicksand_n may_v shipwreck_n he_o in_o a_o calm_a yea_o it_o may_v be_v that_o pirate_n may_v plunder_v he_o or_o some_o contrary_a blast_n may_v blow_v he_o too_o soon_o to_o shore_n however_o in_o those_o narrow_a sea_n there_o be_v but_o a_o short_a cutt_n from_o shore_n to_o shore_n many_o more_o saying_n of_o those_o heathen_a sage_n may_v here_o be_v multiply_v be_v it_o not_o to_o avoid_v prolixity_n i_o have_v do_v with_o the_o philosophical_a answer_n to_o what_o be_v man_n life_n let_v we_o hear_v what_o be_v that_o which_o be_v theological_a that_o have_v a_o more_o noble_a original_a and_o be_v teach_v in_o a_o high_a school_n picus_n mirandula_n say_v excellent_o that_o philosophy_n seek_v truth_n divinity_n find_v it_o and_o piety_n possess_v it_o the_o notable_a essay_n of_o the_o former_a have_v be_v hear_v but_o scripture_n discovery_n be_v the_o more_o sure_a word_n of_o prophecy_n whereunto_o we_o shall_v do_v well_o to_o take_v heed_n 2_o pet._n 1.19_o the_o word_n of_o god_n abound_v with_o many_o metaphor_n to_o illustrate_v the_o nature_n of_o the_o life_n of_o man_n be_v all_o answer_n to_o the_o apostle_n question_v what_o be_v your_o life_n i_o can_v but_o single_a forth_o some_o very_a few_o of_o they_o that_o this_o narrow_a discourse_n swell_v not_o too_o much_o the_o first_o resemblance_n wave_a those_o i_o mention_v before_o from_o psal_n 90_o etc._n etc._n which_o i_o enlarge_v on_o the_o more_o because_o it_o be_v a_o paraphrase_n on_o my_o text_n be_v that_o of_o the_o apostle_n james_n who_o move_v the_o question_n what_o be_v your_o life_n and_o give_v himself_o the_o answer_n to_o it_o no_o doubt_n but_o well_o accommodate_v because_o he_o be_v inspire_v by_o the_o holy_a ghost_n to_o give_v it_o he_o say_v it_o be_v even_o a_o vapour_n that_o appear_v for_o a_o while_n and_o then_o vanish_v away_o jam._n 4.14_o oh_o what_o a_o poor_a empty_a thing_n be_v a_o vapour_n no_o solidity_n in_o it_o it_o be_v not_o so_o much_o a_o thing_n as_o next_o to_o nothing_o it_o disperse_v itself_o so_o soon_o as_o it_o be_v raise_v no_o soon_o it_o appear_v but_o it_o disappear_v oh_o then_o what_o a_o vain_a show_n make_v man_n in_o his_o life_n psal_n 39.6_o the_o
to_o take_v he_o than_o be_v my_o thought_n fix_v upon_o christ_n though_o they_o have_v be_v wander_v two_o day_n before_o and_o i_o have_v lose_v my_o belove_a yet_o nothing_o can_v give_v i_o peace_n till_o i_o here_o find_v he_o and_o sweet_a communion_n with_o he_o wherein_o i_o hear_v he_o say_v to_o my_o soul_n thy_o sin_n small_a and_o great_a be_v pardon_v and_o thy_o pardon_n be_v seal_v i_o see_v as_o it_o be_v his_o precious_a blood_n spurt_v out_o of_o his_o side_n into_o my_o heart_n oh_o my_o soul_n ever_o for_o ever_o love_v this_o lovely_a lord_n admire_v and_o adore_v he_o who_o have_v seal_v thy_o pardon_n never_o sin_n more_o but_o walk_v suitable_o to_o all_o this_o etc._n etc._n the_o four_o sacrament_n be_v november_n 6._o 1681_o whereof_o he_o say_v thus_o i_o have_v long_v for_o this_o ordinance_n because_o i_o have_v more_o than_o ordinary_a sin_n such_o as_o pride_n that_o i_o have_v long_o groan_v under_o which_o make_v i_o long_o for_o the_o sprinkle_n of_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n blood_n to_o wash_v they_o away_o i_o be_v also_o pester_v with_o passion_n as_o well_o as_o pride_n with_o unbelief_n with_o wander_a thought_n and_o some_o time_n with_o blasphemy_n o_o curse_a curse_a sin_n and_o o_o wicked_a wicked_a heart_n once_o to_o think_v whether_o god_n be_v or_o no_o when_o thou_o have_v have_v such_o clear_a evidence_n of_o a_o deity_n these_o be_v my_o five_o deadly_a odious_a sin_n which_o i_o beg_v may_v be_v purge_v from_o i_o o_o that_o i_o may_v never_o see_v nor_o feel_v they_o more_o at_o this_o ordinance_n i_o find_v relief_n and_o feel_v the_o wine_n fall_v down_o low_o and_o low_o i_o desire_v it_o may_v carry_v of_o all_o my_o filth_n so_o as_o to_o leave_v none_o remain_v and_o there_o do_v i_o resolve_v through_o grace_n to_o leave_v those_o five_o sin_n and_o never_o have_v any_o thing_n to_o do_v with_o they_o etc._n etc._n the_o five_o sacrament_n be_v december_n 4._o 1681._o wherein_n say_v he_o i_o do_v again_o lay_v my_o sin_n before_o the_o lord_n fear_v their_o return_n upon_o i_o do_v desire_v a_o meek_a and_o humble_a heart_n against_o my_o pride_n and_o passion_n i_o do_v again_o resign_v myself_o to_o god_n have_v break_v covenant_n with_o he_o and_o beg_v with_o the_o syrophaenician_a woman_n to_o touch_v the_o hem_o of_o christ_n garment_n that_o i_o may_v be_v cleanse_v from_o my_o issue_n of_o sin_n but_o can_v not_o at_o that_o instant_n get_v so_o nigh_o he_o but_o afterward_o have_v i_o a_o clear_a representation_n of_o christ_n suffering_n in_o the_o garden_n where_o he_o bear_v the_o wrath_n of_o god_n sweat_a drop_n of_o blood_n through_o his_o clothes_n in_o a_o cold_a season_n so_o that_o he_o come_v as_o from_o bozra_n with_o die_v garment_n than_o i_o see_v the_o crown_n of_o thorn_n upon_o his_o head_n and_o his_o head_n beat_v with_o the_o soldier_n iron-glove_n which_o make_v the_o thorn_n wound_v his_o holy_a head_n in_o 72._o place_n so_o that_o the_o blood_n run_v down_o upon_o his_o body_n i_o see_v also_o the_o heavy_a weight_n of_o the_o cross_n lay_v upon_o he_o and_o how_o he_o be_v spit_v upon_o revile_v and_o deride_v this_o bless_a sight_n prevent_v wander_v thought_n till_o the_o last_o prayer_n though_o i_o do_v not_o deserve_v the_o least_o crumb_n of_o comfort_n for_o unpreparedness_n to_o so_o great_a a_o work_n which_o have_v god_n deal_v out_o my_o desert_n will_v have_v be_v no_o less_o than_o hell_n etc._n etc._n the_o six_o sacrament_n he_o do_v partake_v of_o be_v january_n the_o first_o 1681_o 2._o upon_o which_o he_o make_v these_o remark_n i_o have_v be_v some_o day_n before_o more_o than_o ordinary_a in_o my_o preparation_n and_o prayer_n for_o a_o profitable_a receive_n and_o when_o i_o come_v to_o it_o i_o be_v sore_o afraid_a that_o i_o shall_v lay_v stress_n upon_o preparatory_a act_n therefore_o beg_v i_o of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v not_o deal_v with_o i_o according_o i_o labour_v to_o act_v my_o requisite_a grace_n as_o 1._o repentance_n lay_v open_a before_o the_o lord_n all_o my_o old_a year_n sin_n to_o that_o new-year_n day_n and_o labour_v to_o mourn_v for_o they_o more_o than_o former_o especial_o for_o my_o deadly_a deadly_a sin_n spiritual_a pride_n passionateness_n wander_v thought_n in_o holy_a duty_n unbeleif_n worldliness_n etc._n etc._n and_o i_o hope_v god_n give_v there_o both_o pardon_n of_o they_o and_o power_n against_o they_o 2._o my_o thankfulness_n i_o actuate_v as_o well_o as_o i_o can_v for_o so_o rich_a a_o mercy_n beg_v for_o it_o both_o hard_a and_o always_o 3._o my_o love_n though_o i_o have_v much_o too_o little_a experience_v the_o sweet_a kiss_n of_o christ_n mouth_n and_o embrace_n of_o his_o love_n i_o see_v christ_n on_o the_o cross_n embrace_v i_o as_o well_o as_o i_o he_o and_o say_v to_o god_n i_o have_v pay_v a_o ransom_n for_o he_o this_o man_n be_v he_o etc._n etc._n this_o be_v so_o sweet_a that_o i_o can_v embrace_v the_o stake_n or_o even_o go_v into_o hell_n so_o i_o may_v thus_o enjoy_v he_o who_o my_o soul_n love_v and_o when_o i_o hear_v the_o minister_n say_v mourn_v for_o your_o sin_n that_o murder_v your_o lord_n i_o answer_v within_o myself_o how_o can_v the_o child_n of_o the_o bride_n mourn_v while_o the_o bridegroom_n be_v with_o they_o twice_o do_v wander_v thought_n offer_v themselves_o but_o be_v by_o grace_n suppress_v at_o the_o first_o rise_n have_v now_o oblige_v my_o understanding_n will_n memory_n affection_n conscience_n yea_o all_o to_o attend_v god_n service_n while_o thus_o fill_v with_o this_o enjoyment_n i_o long_v to_o be_v in_o heaven_n and_o desire_v that_o welcome_a welcome_o friend_n death_n that_o i_o may_v sing_v with_o the_o holy_a saint_n and_o angel_n hallelujah_n to_o to_o the_o lord_n then_o say_v i_o o_o my_o soul_n let_v nothing_o draw_v thy_o love_n from_o thy_o lord_n for_o the_o world_n friend_n relation_n pleasure_n profit_n all_o thing_n put_v together_o can_v never_o give_v such_o joy_n to_o thou_o as_o thou_o have_v find_v from_o lovely_a lovely_a jesus_n in_o this_o bless_a ordinance_n therefore_o lay_v not_o out_o thy_o love_n upon_o any_o thing_n beside_o he_o who_o have_v do_v and_o be_v do_v great_a thing_n yea_o and_o will_v do_v great_a for_o thou_o such_o be_v my_o warm_n warm_a love_n at_o this_o supper_n the_o seven_o sacrament_n be_v february_n the_o 3._o 1681_o 2._o upon_o which_o he_o remark_n thus_o when_o i_o find_v my_o heart_n not_o full_o fix_v by_o my_o new_a year_n day_n sacrament_n but_o notwithstanding_o all_o my_o strive_v i_o be_v yet_o trouble_v with_o distraction_n in_o duty_n i_o long_v for_o this_o ordinance_n very_o much_o and_o think_v it_o long_o till_o it_o come_v that_o account_n may_v be_v make_v even_o between_o god_n and_o my_o poor_a soul_n i_o be_v dull_a for_o 2._o or_o 3._o duty_n before_o and_o can_v not_o get_v my_o heart_n raise_v whereby_o i_o see_v that_o i_o deserve_v nothing_o though_o wander_v thought_n press_v upon_o i_o yet_o be_v they_o cut_v short_a 2_o or_o 3_o time_n &_o i_o find_v relief_n from_o those_o sin_n i_o have_v lay_v open_a before_o the_o lord_n in_o the_o forego_n sacrament_n i_o bewail_v my_o break_a covenant_n my_o distraction_n my_o deadness_n and_o coldness_n in_o duty_n etc._n etc._n and_o at_o this_o sacrament_n my_o dear_a redeemer_n meet_v i_o &_o say_v to_o i_o i_o have_v pardon_v those_o thy_o sin_n at_o thy_o request_n this_o much_o affect_a and_o inlve_v i_o in_o love_n to_o he_o see_v he_o then_o as_o it_o be_v come_v from_o heaven_n to_o the_o earth_n and_o from_o earth_n to_o the_o cross_n shed_v his_o precious_a blood_n for_o i_o and_o from_o the_o cross_n into_o glory_n and_o methinks_v christ_n say_v to_o i_o go_v sin_n these_o your_o sin_n no_o more_o which_o oblige_v i_o to_o a_o close_a walk_n and_o to_o be_v more_o watchful_a than_o before_o all_o this_o month_n the_o lord_n keep_v i_o from_o pride_n but_o alas_o my_o other_o sin_n return_v to_o foil_v i_o the_o eight_o sacrament_n be_v march_n 5._o 1681_o 2._o upon_o this_o he_o say_v thus_o i_o have_v more_o than_o ordinary_a communion_n with_o god_n before_o it_o and_o have_v not_o have_v a_o sweet_a season_n for_o a_o long_a time_n which_o make_v i_o long_o till_o it_o come_v in_o this_o ordinance_n i_o see_v my_o dear_a redeemer_n as_o it_o be_v dead_a with_o a_o company_n of_o holy_a angel_n hold_v of_o he_o and_o a_o great_a darkness_n over_o all_o the_o place_n this_o be_v grief_n to_o my_o soul_n but_o present_o he_o that_o be_v dead_a i_o see_v he_o alive_a again_o and_o come_v into_o the_o midst_n of_o we_o to_o see_v
in_o duty_n 17_o have_v like_a to_o have_v fall_v into_o passion_n but_o god_n disappoint_v it_o yet_o not_o much_o in_o holy_a ejaculation_n etc._n etc._n eighteen_o not_o up_o early_o have_v my_o former_a omission_n and_o commission_n the_o ninteenth_n twenty_v and_o twenty_o first_o yea_o to_o the_o end_n of_o april_n he_o arraigns_n himself_n as_o guilty_a of_o all_o those_o aforesaid_a crime_n then_o may_v 1_o 2_o 3_o 4_o 5_o 6._o complain_v of_o all_o those_o evil_n add_v that_o hurrey_n of_o his_o trade_n at_o this_o time_n do_v provoke_v he_o more_o to_o passion_n but_o sometime_o god_n help_v he_o to_o subdue_v it_o etc._n etc._n the_o 7._o be_v sabbath_n day_n sin_n set_v too_o light_a do_v not_o mourn_v for_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o land_n not_o enough_o in_o holy_a ejaculation_n nor_o in_o look_v into_o my_o own_o heart_n nor_o serious_o mind_v the_o word_n of_o god_n 8_o 9_o 10_o 11_o 12_o 13._o the_o same_o little_a life_n much_o dullness_n be_v weary_v with_o the_o hurry_v of_o the_o world_n 14_o frothy_a discourse_n with_o some_o delight_n o_o sin_n sin_n lay_v too_o light_a both_o i_o own_o and_o the_o land_n sin_n 15_o 16_o 17_o 18_o 19_o the_o same_o complaint_n 20._o neglect_v to_o read_v god_n word_n 21_o 22_o 23._o so_o on_o to_o the_o end_n of_o may_n he_o cry_v out_o i_o have_v do_v nothing_o for_o myself_o nor_o the_o church_n i_o have_v not_o be_v myself_o hardly_o know_v what_o i_o do_v through_o the_o hurry_v of_o the_o world_n o_o the_o world_n the_o world_n be_v a_o saâ—_n impediment_n to_o my_o soul_n god_n have_v not_o be_v in_o my_o mind_n heaven_n out_o of_o my_o sight_n i_o have_v not_o mourn_v for_o my_o own_o sin_n nor_o those_o of_o the_o land_n nor_o have_v holy_a ejaculation_n etc._n etc._n thus_o he_o say_v particular_o upon_o every_o day_n add_v thus_o i_o continue_v till_o the_o four_o of_o june_n be_v always_o weary_v with_o work_n and_o unfit_a for_o any_o good_a o_o it_o have_v be_v a_o sad_a time_n for_o my_o soul_n thus_o likewise_o i_o neglect_v till_o the_o 17_o of_o june_n on_o which_o i_o renew_v my_o covenant_n with_o god_n yet_o 18_o 19_o the_o same_o neglect_v prevail_v only_o on_o the_o 20._o i_o have_v some_o holy_a ejaculation_n but_o 21_o 22._o the_o same_o and_o 23._o i_o pray_v not_o over_o the_o sermon_n as_o i_o shall_v have_v do_v and_o omit_v all_o as_o before_o 24_o still_o pester_v with_o former_a neglect_n o_o sad_a sad_a that_o i_o shall_v be_v thus_o carry_v under_o grace_n thus_o he_o moan_n on_o 25_o 26._o and_o so_o on_o to_o the_o end_n of_o june_n on_o every_o day_n i_o have_v do_v little_a for_o the_o church_n or_o for_o my_o soul_n have_v not_o read_v god_n word_n sin_n sit_v too_o light_a not_o mourn_v for_o my_o own_o sin_n nor_o for_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o land_n heaven_n have_v be_v out_o of_o sight_n and_o god_n out_o of_o mind_n too_o little_o have_v i_o be_v in_o holy_a ejaculation_n with_o wander_n not_o oft_o look_v into_o my_o own_o heart_n etc._n etc._n july_n 1682._o from_o 1_o to_o 10._o he_o complain_v particular_o upon_o each_o day_n in_o the_o same_o word_n be_v too_o much_o wander_n in_o holy_a duty_n too_o little_a sense_n of_o sin_n upon_o my_o heart_n i_o have_v not_o mourn_v enough_o for_o my_o own_o sin_n nor_o for_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o land_n not_o much_o in_o ejaculation_n heaven_n too_o much_o out_o of_o sight_n etc._n etc._n sometime_o add_v i_o neglect_v read_v god_n word_n have_v do_v little_a for_o god_n church_n have_v not_o mind_v my_o soul_n nor_o god_n praise_n etc._n etc._n then_o conclude_v these_o ten_o day_n with_o this_o divine_a rapture_n o_fw-la this_o deadly_a thing_n sin_n have_v not_o due_o affect_v my_o heart_n into_o what_o a_o sad_a state_n be_v my_o soul_n fall_v o_o my_o god_n i_o beseech_v thou_o leave_v i_o not_o this_o same_o complaint_n concern_v those_o several_a omission_n he_o carry_v on_o against_o himself_o quite_o through_o july_n to_o the_o last_o day_n august_n 1682._o he_o make_v the_o same_o moan_n of_o the_o same_o neglect_v all_o along_o the_o month_n upon_o the_o head_n of_o every_o day_n of_o the_o four_o week_n distinct_o yet_o sometime_o add_v god_n help_v i_o on_o the_o 2_o of_o august_n against_o my_o deadly_a sin_n on_o the_o 6_o day_n be_v the_o sabbath_n i_o be_v less_o trouble_v with_o wander_n than_o i_o be_v the_o day_n after_o on_o the_o 8_o day_n i_o arise_v from_o supper_n without_o drop_v any_o savoury_a word_n at_o the_o table_n on_o the_o 11._o god_n keep_v i_o much_o from_o my_o sin_n this_o day_n on_o the_o 13._o i_o have_v much_o of_o god_n in_o my_o night_n prayer_n though_o the_o devil_n tell_v i_o i_o have_v not_o beg_v god_n presence_n my_o dear_a lord_n help_v i_o to_o repulse_v he_o with_o ease_n on_o the_o 16_o out_o of_o order_n all_o the_o day_n but_o at_o night_n god_n shine_v upon_o my_o soul_n more_o than_o a_o long_a time_n before_o but_o lose_v all_o the_o two_o follow_a day_n be_v hurry_v with_o cast_v up_o our_o shop_n go_v backward_o not_o forward_o on_o 19_o i_o feel_v my_o deadly_a sin_n crawl_v apace_o towards_o my_o heart_n which_o put_v i_o upon_o examination_n the_o 20._o day_n and_o find_v it_o not_o in_o vain_a to_o cast_v my_o burden_n upon_o the_o lord_n for_o i_o have_v thereby_o relief_n against_o my_o pride_n etc._n etc._n for_o which_o i_o have_v cry_v mighty_o to_o the_o lord_n my_o god_n after_o which_o i_o have_v sweet_a communion_n with_o god_n than_o the_o tempter_n strong_o tempt_v i_o to_o neglect_v hear_v and_o read_v the_o word_n but_o put_v up_o a_o ejaculation_n i_o have_v strength_n to_o overcome_v he_o again_o after_o hear_v a_o sermon_n i_o go_v down_o into_o the_o cellar_n to_o pray_v where_o the_o devil_n will_v affright_v i_o that_o something_o will_v appear_v which_o through_o the_o help_n of_o my_o dear_a redeemer_n i_o stout_o resist_v and_o bid_v satan_n defiance_n than_o he_o object_v against_o i_o my_o deadly_a sin_n which_o i_o can_v not_o but_o own_o yet_o can_v he_o not_o make_v i_o think_v so_o long_o upon_o it_o as_o to_o distract_v i_o in_o duty_n which_o be_v the_o devil_n design_n but_o osubtil_a serpent_n my_o lord_n goodness_n strengthen_v i_o to_o triumph_v over_o thou_o and_o i_o have_v a_o comfortable_a season_n upon_o the_o 21_o of_o august_n 1682._o all_o my_o old_a neglect_n prevail_v and_o wander_n in_o my_o night_n prayer_n but_o god_n hear_v my_o ejaculation_n i_o get_v up_o early_o in_o the_o morning_n which_o sweet_a way_n i_o have_v much_o neglect_v through_o weariness_n with_o worldly_a work_n to_o pray_v wherein_o i_o find_v much_o of_o god_n o_o my_o soul_n love_v that_o lovely_a lovely_a one_o thy_o lord_n who_o have_v hear_v thou_o have_v do_v be_v do_v great_a thing_n for_o thou_o and_o will_v do_v great_a on_o the_o 26._o i_o neglect_v read_v the_o word_n be_v too_o much_o about_o worldly_a affair_n which_o take_v i_o off_o from_o god_n and_o i_o lose_v my_o time_n in_o duty_n nor_o can_v i_o get_v up_o my_o thought_n to_o my_o god_n in_o my_o hurry_v yet_o on_o the_o saturday_n follow_v i_o recover_v a_o bless_a frame_n o_o my_o soul_n love_n and_o praise_v the_o lord_n for_o ever_o september_n the_o 2._o i_o be_v at_o a_o fast_o for_o the_o fire_n of_o london_n where_o i_o be_v not_o free_a of_o my_o aforesaid_a omission_n yet_o wait_v there_o all_o the_o day_n at_o length_n have_v the_o sweet_a presence_n of_o god_n on_o the_o 4._o i_o have_v heaven_n in_o my_o sight_n and_o but_o little_o trouble_v with_o wander_n yet_o too_o little_o look_v i_o into_o my_o own_o heart_n i_o sit_v up_o late_o for_o duty_n and_o god_n make_v it_o sweet_a to_o i_o on_o the_o seven_o he_o make_v his_o old_a moan_n against_o himself_o say_v i_o feat_n my_o own_o self_n righteousness_n the_o 10._o god_n discover_v my_o deadly_a sin_n which_o cause_v his_o withdrawment_n from_o i_o and_o that_o wish_v to_o die_v to_o avoid_v misery_n by_o god_n withdrawing_n be_v but_o a_o pang_n of_o passion_n the_o 15._o old_a wander_n etc._n etc._n return_v i_o think_v my_o murmur_a be_v the_o cause_n i_o first_o read_v isa_n 65.22_o 23_o 24._o from_o whence_o upon_o my_o ejaculation_n god_n speak_v comfort_n to_o i_o so_o have_v after_o delight_n in_o duty_n the_o 19_o god_n discover_v another_o sin_n my_o seeking_z the_o praise_n of_o man_n that_o darken_v his_o face_n from_o i_o the_o 23._o but_o little_a sensible_a how_o i_o have_v grieve_v away_o god_n good_a spirit_n in_o morning_n prayer_n the_o 25._o have_v little_a sense_n of_o god_n put_v a_o vail_n
be_v impossible_a for_o nature_n to_o endure_v without_o murmur_a the_o loss_n of_o such_o a_o mercy_n as_o health_n but_o grace_n can_v weigh_v these_o consideration_n first_o consider_v who_o be_v the_o author_n of_o your_o affliction_n it_o spring_v not_o out_o of_o die_v dust_n nor_o come_v by_o chance_n but_o it_o be_v my_o father_n hand_n that_o appoint_v the_o time_n place_n measure_n and_o manner_n so_o must_v not_o murmur_v second_o consider_v though_o you_o be_v a_o son_n of_o god_n yet_o your_o sin_n have_v deserve_v hell_n and_o thither_o have_v you_o be_v cast_v have_v not_o your_o dear_a redeemer_n die_v for_o you_o but_o see_v you_o be_v deliver_v from_o wrath_n to_o come_v and_o this_o be_v all_o your_o hell_n you_o be_v like_a to_o have_v to_o wit_n this_o present_a chastisement_n therefore_o you_o may_v not_o murmur_v etc._n etc._n three_o consider_v god_n never_o afflict_v willing_o but_o when_o need_n be_v and_o for_o gracious_a end_n to_o subdue_v sin_n and_o to_o strengthen_v grace_n to_o wean_v from_o the_o world_n and_o to_o make_v heaven_n more_o desirable_a etc._n etc._n his_o bowel_n still_o yearn_v while_o his_o rod_n be_v on_o our_o back_n if_o this_o be_v so_o shall_v you_o not_o be_v patient_a four_o meditate_v much_o on_o the_o joy_n of_o heaven_n and_o the_o happy_a rest_n there_o prepare_v for_o you_o which_o transcend_v our_o apprehension_n while_o we_o tabernacle_n in_o house_n of_o clay_n o_o the_o river_n of_o pleasure_n the_o mansion_n of_o bliss_n the_o region_n of_o happiness_n the_o crown_n of_o life_n the_o sceptre_n of_o power_n the_o robe_n of_o glory_n and_o the_o throne_n of_o honour_n that_o be_v there_o prepare_v for_o the_o lamb_n follower_n no_o sin_v be_v there_o to_o provoke_v god_n no_o suffering_n to_o molest_v we_o no_o weep_a eye_n sigh_v breast_n or_o complain_v tongue_n be_v find_v there_o no_o cry_v there_o o_o my_o head_n my_o head_n and_z o_o my_o bowel_n be_v pain_v etc._n etc._n but_o all_o rest_n in_o the_o arm_n of_o love_n and_o in_o the_o bosom_n of_o christ_n o_o happy_a soul_n that_o be_v now_o get_v thither_o and_o since_o you_o will_v short_o be_v there_o shall_v you_o not_o be_v submissive_a to_o and_o rejoice_v in_o the_o will_n of_o god_n that_o he_o give_v you_o both_o a_o happy_a and_o a_o comfortable_a departure_n out_o of_o time_n into_o eternity_n be_v the_o prayer_n of_o etc._n etc._n the_o last_o character_n be_v that_o of_o my_o own_o from_o my_o own_o personal_a knowledge_n of_o he_o which_o though_o it_o be_v not_o so_o much_o as_o be_v that_o of_o many_o other_o who_o be_v more_o conversant_a with_o he_o yet_o be_v enough_o to_o give_v i_o a_o prospect_n of_o his_o almost_o unparalleled_a piety_n i_o never_o converse_v with_o a_o more_o mortify_v youngman_n from_o youthful_a vanity_n so_o serious_a in_o his_o deportment_n so_o savoury_a in_o his_o discourse_n with_o so_o grave_a a_o aspect_n and_o and_o so_o compose_v a_o countenance_n as_o i_o seldom_o law_n in_o this_o our_o english_a israel_n he_o have_v so_o faithful_o follow_v these_o follow_a rule_n first_o let_v not_o god_n find_v i_o in_o my_o bed_n when_o he_o look_v for_o i_o on_o my_o knee_n second_o nor_o wander_v thought_n eat_v out_o the_o life_n of_o my_o duty_n three_o nor_o be_v slight_a in_o read_v god_n word_n or_o hear_v it_o preach_v which_o i_o shall_v digest_v in_o my_o heart_n and_o repeat_v in_o my_o life_n four_o i_o must_v redeem_v time_n five_o deny_v myself_o six_o do_v more_o than_o other_o seven_o be_v careful_a of_o my_o company_n eighth_n leave_v the_o savour_n of_o grace_n behind_o i_o in_o all_o company_n nine_o be_v holy_a in_o all_o my_o relation_n as_o a_o servant_n etc._n etc._n ten_o no_o sin_n must_v sit_v light_n eleven_o nor_o may_v i_o live_v in_o that_o which_o i_o know_v or_o fear_v to_o be_v a_o sin_n twelve_o it_o be_v my_o duty_n to_o mourn_v for_o sin_n my_o own_o and_o other_o thirteen_o to_o be_v much_o in_o holy_a ejaculation_n have_v god_n oft_o in_o my_o mind_n and_o heaven_n oft_o in_o my_o sight_n fourteen_o to_o be_v oft_o look_v into_o my_o own_o heart_n fifteen_o to_o resist_v the_o first_o rise_n of_o sin_n sixteenth_o to_o bridle_v my_o tongue_n seventeen_o to_o feed_v in_o god_n fear_n at_o my_o meal_n time_n eighteen_o to_o do_v all_o my_o secular_a and_o sacred_a affair_n for_o god_n glory_n the_o good_a of_o other_o as_o well_o as_o myself_o etc._n etc._n that_o he_o familliarize_v his_o soul_n with_o these_o and_o the_o like_a help_n and_o due_o and_o daily_o weigh_v himself_o in_o the_o balance_n of_o the_o sanctuary_n soon_o become_v a_o none_o such_o in_o christian_a attainment_n so_o that_o the_o way_n of_o this_o godly-wise_a youngman_n be_v above_o as_o prov._n 15.24_o raise_v the_o foot_n of_o his_o soul_n to_o walk_v in_o a_o high_a region_n and_o above_o the_o head_n of_o most_o other_o youngman_n sure_o i_o be_o his_o conversasion_n be_v in_o heaven_n as_o phil._n 3.20_o while_o his_o commoration_n be_v on_o earth_n the_o rabbin_n say_v that_o cain_n sin_n be_v not_o divide_v aright_o for_o god_n for_o which_o fault_n they_o suppose_v god_n bring_v that_o brand_n of_o go_v about_o eversigh_v and_o tremble_v etc._n etc._n but_o i_o may_v without_o vanity_n affirm_v that_o if_o any_o young_a man_n learned_a to_o divide_v aright_o betwixt_o his_o general_n and_o particular_a call_n this_o holy_a youngman_n do_v who_o seldom_o or_o never_o will_v suffer_v they_o to_o justle_v out_o one_o the_o other_o as_o he_o will_v not_o give_v his_o masters-time_n to_o god_n worship_n so_o nor_o god_n time_n to_o his_o master_n service_n i_o wish_v all_o apprentice_n will_v learn_v to_o write_v after_o so_o fair_a a_o copy_n and_o to_o dress_v themselves_o by_o so_o lovely_a a_o looking-glass_n i_o know_v also_o how_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n rest_v upon_o he_o in_o most_o eminent_a act_n and_o emanation_n and_o i_o stand_v admire_v not_o only_o at_o his_o most_o evangelical_n experience_n exercise_n examination_n and_o evidence_n above_o mention_v but_o also_o at_o his_o most_o sensible_a and_o savoury_a letter_n not_o only_o write_v with_o his_o own_o mortal_a hand_n but_o with_o a_o most_o gracious_a heart_n in_o one_o of_o which_o i_o find_v how_o he_o oblige_v his_o correspondent_a a_o godly_a young_a man_n to_o holiness_n with_o these_o argument_n first_o we_o have_v covenant_v not_o to_o allow_v ourselves_o in_o any_o know_a sin_n but_o to_o use_v all_o mean_n for_o the_o death_n and_o destruction_n thereof_o second_o to_o forsake_v all_o that_o be_v dear_a to_o we_o in_o this_o world_n rather_o than_o forsake_v god_n and_o his_o gospel_n three_o to_o watch_v over_o our_o own_o heart_n against_o the_o temptation_n both_o of_o prosperity_n and_o adversity_n lest_o we_o be_v draw_v from_o god_n four_o to_o take_v the_o law_n of_o god_n for_o the_o rule_n of_o our_o thought_n word_n and_o action_n square_n our_o whole_a life_n thereby_o five_o to_o neglect_v nothing_o we_o know_v to_o be_v our_o duty_n six_o to_o resign_v up_o ourselves_o to_o god_n and_o avouch_v he_o for_o our_o lord_n seven_o to_o own_o jehovah_n as_o our_o portion_n promise_v to_o serve_v he_o all_o our_o day_n eight_o to_o improve_v christ_n as_o he_o be_v the_o new_a and_o live_a way_n for_o access_n to_o the_o father_n nine_o to_o be_v marry_v to_o christ_n accept_v he_o for_o our_o head_n and_o husband_n in_o all_o state_n and_o time_n take_v our_o lot_n as_o it_o fall_v though_o suffering_n and_o death_n do_v accrue_v we_o must_v renounce_v our_o own_o will_n and_o wisdom_n etc._n etc._n in_o another_o i_o find_v the_o saint_n pedigree_n first_o what_o christ_n be_v to_o we_o he_o be_v our_o lord_n 1._o cor._n 1_o 2._o our_o friend_n cant._n 5.16_o our_o flesh_n and_o blood_n heb._n 2.14_o our_o brother_n ver._n 17._o our_o father_n isa_n 63.16_o our_o husband_n rom._n 7.4_o what_o we_o be_v to_o christ_n his_o servant_n rom._n 6.22_o his_o friend_n john_n 15.14_o his_o kinsman_n mark_v 3.21.35_o his_o brethren_n john_n 7.3_o his_o son_n gal._n 3.26_o his_o spouse_n sister_n love_n and_o dove_n cant._n 4.9_o the_o church_n be_v one_o vine_n john_n 15._o 1._o one_o seed_n gal._n 3.16_o one_o temple_n eph._n 2.16_o one_o body_n rom._n 12.5_o one_o spirit_n 1._o cor._n 6.16_o and_o one_o christ_n 1._o cor._n 12.12_o and_o upon_o the_o survey_n of_o this_o pedigree_n he_o cry_v out_o lord_z what_o be_v man_n thou_o be_v thus_o mindful_a of_o he_o make_v he_o in_o some_o respect_n high_a than_o angel_n thou_o have_v crown_v he_o with_o glory_n and_o honour_n etc._n etc._n psal_n 8._o in_o another_o letter_n to_o his_o elder_a sister_n write_v about_o three_o a_o clock_n in_o
the_o morning_n he_o give_v a_o high_a encomium_fw-la of_o godliness_n to_o strengthen_v she_o in_o love_n to_o the_o good_a way_n of_o god_n say_v it_o be_v the_o great_a work_n we_o have_v to_o mind_n in_o this_o low_a world_n therefore_o need_v we_o to_o meet_v help_n to_o forward_o one_o another_o therein_o it_o be_v not_o a_o small_a thing_n or_o a_o by-business_n to_o be_v forget_v etc._n etc._n it_o be_v the_o best_a riches_n that_o can_v be_v take_v from_o we_o as_o there_o be_v all_o good_a thing_n in_o it_o so_o there_o be_v no_o danger_n to_o loose_v it_o yet_o find_v i_o a_o proneness_n to_o be_v trifle_v and_o tamper_n with_o transitory_a vanity_n while_o the_o true_a riches_n be_v neglect_v o_o this_o heart-work_n be_v hard-work_n and_o the_o way_n to_o heaven_n be_v up_o the_o hill_n but_o our_o captain_n if_o we_o follow_v he_o close_o will_v make_v it_o easy_a help_v we_o to_o hold_v on_o and_o to_o hold_v out_o to_o the_o end_n not_o only_o as_o live_v but_o also_o as_o lively_a christian_n not_o loiter_v in_o the_o way_n of_o sin_n but_o lusty_o run_v our_o race_n seat_v ourselves_o under_o god_n eye_n all_o low_a person_n and_o thing_n be_v changeable_a relation_n may_v be_v our_o friend_n to_o day_n and_o they_o may_v be_v dead_a to_o morrow_n or_o they_o may_v live_v yet_o their_o love_n may_v die_v and_o our_o delight_n to_o day_n may_v be_v our_o sorrow_n and_o our_o horror_n to_o morrow_n etc._n etc._n but_o still_o in_o godliness_n we_o have_v a_o unchangeable_a god_n our_o thought_n of_o this_o must_v be_v bellows_o to_o blow_v up_o the_o flame_n of_o our_o desire_n and_o the_o spur_n to_o our_o dull_a affection_n in_o another_o letter_n to_o his_o young_a sister_n which_o come_v also_o to_o my_o hand_n o_o what_o a_o travel_a spirit_n be_v upon_o he_o that_o christ_n may_v beform_v in_o she_o say_v to_o she_o my_o heart_n desire_n and_o prayer_n 〈◊〉_d that_o you_o may_v be_v save_v conâ—â—der_v your_o sad_a estate_n by_o nature_n you_o be_v a_o slave_n of_o satan_n a_o stranger_n to_o god_n and_o if_o you_o die_v in_o that_o estate_n you_o be_v undo_v for_o ever_o o_o that_o you_o may_v see_v in_o this_o your_o day_n the_o thing_n that_o belong_v to_o your_o everlasting_a peace_n lest_o they_o be_v for_o ever_o hide_v from_o your_o eye_n for_o judgement_n will_v certain_o find_v you_o where_o death_n do_v leave_v you_o if_o you_o die_v in_o a_o unregenerate_a slate_n you_o will_v be_v banish_v from_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n and_o a_o eternity_n of_o horror_n and_o terror_n be_v to_o be_v endure_v etc._n etc._n but_o if_o you_o make_v your_o call_n and_o election_n sure_a then_o may_v you_o expect_v nay_o you_o will_v have_v everlasting_a bliss_n o_o think_v much_o on_o these_o thing_n you_o have_v now_o time_n to_o make_v your_o peace_n put_v it_o not_o off_o if_o you_o love_v your_o soul_n no_v not_o till_o to_o morrow_n as_o too_o many_o young_a person_n do_v think_v it_o soon_o enough_o yet_o and_o yet_o but_o know_v you_o may_v be_v dead_a before_o the_o morrow_n pray_v therefore_o for_o conveâ—â—ing_a grace_n and_o for_o power_n to_o cast_v off_o sin_n especial_o that_o which_o lay_v near_a your_o heart_n for_o if_o the_o heart-sin_n be_v love_v better_a than_o christ_n it_o will_v undo_v you_o for_o ever_o let_v but_o your_o lord_n have_v your_o chief_a love_n and_o you_o will_v soon_o find_v more_o pleasure_n in_o way_n of_o holiness_n than_o in_o all_o the_o way_n of_o sin_n in_o another_o letter_n to_o his_o kinswoman_n i_o find_v he_o very_o warm_a in_o his_o exhortation_n say_v now_o be_v the_o time_n of_o stir_v up_o one_o another_o to_o prepare_v for_o approach_a evil_n see_v the_o cloud_n thicken_v and_o look_v black_a over_o our_o head_n we_o have_v need_v to_o have_v our_o rock_n ready_a to_o fly_v to_o and_o to_o have_v our_o evidence_n for_o heaven_n clear_v to_o have_v our_o loin_n gird_v and_o our_o lamp_n burn_v and_o to_o sit_v loose_a from_o those_o low_a thing_n that_o seem_v now_o to_o be_v leave_v we_o o_o that_o sweet_a word_n draw_v nigh_o to_o god_n and_o he_o will_v draw_v nigh_o to_o we_o for_o the_o end_n of_o this_o dispensation_n be_v to_o drive_v uâ—_n further_o off_o from_o sin_n and_o near_a god_n and_o o_o sweet_a word_n in_o the_o world_n you_o shall_v have_v tribulation_n but_o in_o christ_n peace_n who_o will_v not_o travel_v through_o a_o world_n of_o trouble_n to_o find_v that_o peace_n in_o christ_n this_o kinswoman_n be_v so_o touch_v with_o his_o line_n that_o she_o cast_v in_o this_o character_n of_o he_o after_o his_o death_n say_v god_n take_v he_o from_o i_o because_o i_o be_v unworthy_a of_o he_o he_o tell_v i_o it_o be_v better_o to_o want_v time_n than_o to_o want_v a_o heart_n for_o do_v good_a he_o cry_v oft_o hear_v the_o clock_n strike_v o_o time_n time_n i_o be_o so_o much_o near_a eternity_n and_o o_o the_o love_n of_o christ_n that_o purchase_v a_o eternity_n of_o weal_n for_o i_o be_v there_o any_o love_n like_o christ_n &c._n &c._n in_o another_o i_o find_v these_o short_a rule_n comprise_v in_o verse_n very_o useful_a to_o he_o when_o time_n will_v not_o permit_v he_o to_o make_v any_o use_n of_o large_a help_n let_v not_o soft_a sleep_n thy_o weary_a eye_n invade_v before_o the_o same_o confine_n with_o the_o night_n shade_n thy_o thought_n retire_v and_o make_v it_o their_o last_o task_n of_o the_o day_n deed_n three_o question_n thus_o to_o ask_v wherein_o have_v i_o transgress_v this_o day_n what_o good_a deed_n have_v i_o wrought_v and_o what_o have_v i_o forbear_v to_o do_v which_o to_o have_v do_v i_o ought_v or_o thus._n what_o have_v i_o do_v amiss_o this_o day_n what_o well_o what_o good_a have_v i_o omit_v conscience_n tell_v this_o distich_n as_o his_o who_o send_v he_o they_o intimate_v comprehend_v all_o our_o thought_n word_n and_o deed_n and_o by_o ponder_v and_o improve_n they_o due_o and_o daily_o they_o both_o reap_v great_a benefit_n etc._n etc._n in_o another_o i_o find_v that_o the_o method_n of_o correspodency_n betwixt_o his_o friend_n a_o gracious_a young_a man_n and_o himself_o be_v carry_v on_o by_o a_o communication_n of_o experience_n or_o practical_a and_o profitable_a discourse_n upon_o the_o joy_n of_o heaven_n the_o love_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n the_o second_o come_v of_o our_o lord_n the_o evil_a of_o sin_n etc._n etc._n as_o to_o the_o first_o of_o those_o point_n the_o joy_n of_o heaven_n their_o intercourse_n make_v this_o mention_n the_o glory_n which_o we_o ought_v to_o have_v our_o faith_n fix_v on_o for_o our_o comfort_n be_v call_v in_o scripture_n comparison_n a_o crown_n of_o life_n of_o righteousness_n and_o of_o glory_n a_o incorruptible_a inheritance_n a_o rest_n for_o the_o people_n of_o god_n the_o recompense_n of_o reward_n a_o house_n not_o make_v with_o hand_n a_o excellent_a place_n which_o the_o eye_n have_v not_o see_v etc._n etc._n the_o city_n of_o the_o live_a god_n the_o heavenly_a jerusalem_n the_o holy_a kingdom_n the_o bless_a hope_n and_o end_n of_o our_o holy_a race_n the_o city_n who_o builder_n and_o maker_n be_v god_n the_o house_n not_o make_v with_o hand_n the_o heavenly_a country_n the_o strait_a gate_n etc._n etc._n the_o contemplation_n of_o all_o these_o diune_n comparison_n afford_v strong_a consolation_n to_o both_o their_o soul_n etc._n etc._n no_o less_o comfortable_a be_v their_o interchange_n of_o communion_n about_o the_o other_o point_n of_o christ_n second_o come_v which_o be_v likewise_o call_v in_o scripture_n a_o day_n of_o consolation_n and_o of_o coronation_n a_o harvest_n day_n a_o marriage_n day_n and_o a_o day_n of_o admiration_n wherein_o christ_n will_v be_v admire_v of_o all_o his_o saint_n at_o his_o glorious_a appearance_n though_o now_o we_o be_v despise_v by_o the_o world_n as_o our_o dear_a redeemer_n himself_n be_v yet_o this_o be_v our_o joy_n our_o redemption_n day_n draw_v nigh_o etc._n etc._n in_o another_o letter_n he_o have_v this_o passage_n i_o suppose_v to_o some_o minister_n say_v sir_n though_o i_o be_v a_o stranger_n to_o you_o yet_o can_v nay_o dare_v not_o hoâ—â—_n any_o long_o from_o speak_v to_o you_o for_o ask_v my_o own_o heart_n whether_o i_o be_v fit_a to_o die_v it_o be_v answer_v that_o can_v not_o be_v till_o account_n be_v clear_v concern_v the_o sin_n i_o groan_v under_o between_o god_n and_o my_o soul_n about_o this_o sir_n my_o present_a address_n be_v for_o your_o profitable_a advice_n therefore_o i_o beseech_v you_o search_v i_o thorough_o to_o the_o very_a inward_o of_o my_o heart_n etc._n etc._n many_o more_o such_o savoury_a line_n all_o season_v with_o the_o salt_n of_o sincerity_n and_o sanctity_n i_o may_v add_v out_o of_o several_a other_o of_o his_o letter_n which_o must_v be_v omit_v to_o avoid_v prolixity_n to_o conclude_v upon_o the_o view_n of_o the_o whole_a i_o must_v only_o add_v this_o though_o we_o have_v not_o his_o picture_n drawnin_n paint_v by_o some_o skilful_a limner_n for_o refresh_v the_o memory_n of_o relation_n and_o to_o prefix_v before_o this_o book_n yet_o it_o be_v limn_v to_o the_o life_n in_o black_a and_o white_a both_o by_o private_a christian_n and_o public_a minister_n he_o be_v without_o flattery_n a_o mirror_n of_o piety_n especial_o in_o make_v so_o strict_a a_o scrutiny_n over_o all_o his_o own_o step_n and_o take_v so_o serious_a a_o prospect_n over_o all_o his_o own_o work_n both_o upon_o sabbath_n day_n and_o upon_o every_o weekday_n between_o they_o that_o he_o may_v keep_v his_o heart_n with_o all_o diligence_n prov._n 4.23_o o_o how_o exact_a be_v he_o in_o self-examination_n as_o well_o in_o civil_a and_o secular_a as_o in_o sacred_a affair_n i_o have_v be_v young_a and_o now_o be_o old_a yet_o never_o in_o all_o my_o acquaintance_n find_v i_o so_o much_o faithful_a self-tryal_n which_o be_v indeed_o a_o most_o necessary_a but_o alas_o a_o much_o neglect_a duty_n and_o i_o be_o confident_a most_o christian_n be_v at_o a_o great_a lose_v in_o their_o inner_a man_n by_o the_o omission_n hereof_o as_o to_o my_o own_o part_n i_o be_o utter_o ashamed_a to_o behold_v myself_o now_o a_o old_a minister_n of_o forty_o year_n stand_v in_o the_o ministry_n so_o far_o out_o strip_v by_o so_o young_a a_o man_n not_o attain_v the_o three_o part_n of_o my_o age_n and_o so_o private_a a_o christian_n as_o a_o apprentice_n will_v to_o god_n we_o can_v all_o young_a and_o old_a minister_n and_o people_n imitate_v this_o pattern_n of_o piety_n call_v our_o faithless_a heart_n to_o a_o faithful_a account_n daily_o and_o ever_o keep_v upon_o our_o watch-tower_n etc._n etc._n this_o will_v be_v a_o bless_a mean_n to_o keep_v in_o the_o fear_n of_o god_n all_o the_o day_n prov._n 23.17_o to_o live_v much_o more_o in_o a_o little_a time_n as_o he_o do_v from_o 1678._o to_o 1683._o to_o be_v neither_o ashamed_a to_o live_v nor_o afraid_a to_o die_v like_v he_o who_o live_v his_o little_a short_a life_n with_o christ_n in_o this_o low_a world_n and_o now_o reign_v with_o christ_n in_o the_o upper_a and_o better_a world_n finis_fw-la thâ—_n i_o do_v diligent_o correct_v every_o sheet_n yet_o for_o want_n of_o some_o revise_v these_o fault_n with_o some_o other_o have_v escape_v errata_fw-la in_o the_o epistle_n page_n 5._o line_n 18._o deal_n 6_o p._n 6._o l._n 24._o read_v get_v p._n 36._o l._n 18._o to_o wit_n trans_fw-la p._n 49._o l._n 9_o for_o three_o r._n threefold_a p._n 63._o l._n 20._o for_o heaven_n r._n haven_n p._n 77._o 1._o 21._o for_o soul_n r._n seal_n p._n 79._o 1._o 17._o r._n than_o p._n 108._o 1._o 6._o r._n get_v p._n 116._o 1._o 21._o r._n jeer_v and_o 1._o 24._o r._n that_o p._n 150._o 1._o 12._o for_o to_o r._n i._n for_o by_o r._n because_o p._n 170._o 1._o 9_o for_o 82._o r._n 83._o