and your breaking it or keeping it Hence it is called the Covenant of God this ingageeth and obligeth you strongely to all Matrimonial duties Prov. 2.17 Covenant breakers even in wedlock God will judge 4. 4 This will be a good example The good Carriage of Husband and wife each to other according to the Gospel will be a good example or patern to all other Relations in the family to set them a copy or teach them how to carry therein and to put them in order Without this all would be out of frame the children unruly and disobedient and the servants unfaithful and disorderly So much of the Duties of Mariage Now followes the third thing considerable in mariage III. The Benefits of Mariage WHich may be referred to five heads They are 1. Personal 2. Domestical 3. Political 4. Ecclesiastical 5. Universal 1. 1 Personal Benefits The Personal Benefits of Mariage appertaining to the parties themselves are 4. to wit 1. Society 2. Sanctity 3. Copartnership 4. furtherance of the mystical Mariage between Christ and the soul 1. 1 Society Society God made man a sociable Creature in respect both of the Constitution of his body and disposition of his minde and said Gen. 2.18.19.20 It is not good for man to be alone Though God made Adam lord over all the Creatures and brought them to him to give names to them all as a sign of his soveraignty and authority over them yet for all this man was alone for among all the creatures there was not found a help meet for him or like to him in Nature a fit and sutable Companion that should be alter ego a second self to him God set all the creatures before him ere he gave him a wife that as some think he seeing their sexes might desire to have a help in his kind and nature also God saw it was not good for the irrational living creatures to be alone Gen. 7.2 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 therefore he created them male and female in Heb. cal'd the man and his wife for the increase of their kind to this end God bid Noah take into the Arke two of every sort of living things to keep them alive they shall be male and female Gen. 6.19 20. and God created them male and female together but he did not so in mankind for Adam was first formed then Eve Though it be said in Gen. 1.27 that God created them that is Adam and Eve male and female yet not together This is an anticipation The 27 28. verses of Gen. 1. chap. are to be made up with the 17 18 19. verses of the 2. chapter together into one Relation This was the Cause of the Creation of the woman because Adam was alone God saw Adam Solitary and defective till he had a wife I will make him saith God a help commodious for him God created the woman by deliberate Councel as before he had done the man Gen. 1.26 27. Let us make man in our Image The creation of the woman was the work of the Trinity as well as of the man When Adam saw no other fit help for him among all the Creatures it might make him the more prize a wife and count it better to lose a rib then to lack a wife to want part of himself then not to have a second self A wise was the Complement of all to Adam and a Recovery of his lost Rib. If Adam in Innocency when he was perfect in body and soul and when the whole world was his own stood in need of a wife even for society to be his Companion and it was not good for him that was so happy to be alone much less for poor sinful sickly miserable man since the fall what need hath he of a wife even for Society Eccles 4.9 10. Two are better then one saith the Preacher that is fully verified in conjugal Society though this onely is not meant here but that society in all sorts of affaires is better than Solitariness 2. Sanctity 2 The Second Benefit of mariage is sanctity to prevent sin and keep us pure from Pollutions of flesh and spirit 1. 1 Cor. 7.2 From outward acts of uncleanness To avoid fornication let every man have his owne wife saith Paul and every woman her own husband 2 From inward Lusts Ver. 9. It is better to mary then to burn Mariage is a meanes to prevent burning in lust Mariage is a preservation of chastity and prvention of heart adultery which our Saviour makes to be to look on a woman and lust after her Math. 5.28 Though mariage was instituted before there was sin and Adam needed it not as a Remedie against Incontinency but upon another account But since the fall it is of necessary and soveraign use to prevent sin and to procure or promote our sanctincation that we may possess our vessels in holines and Honour not in the lost of conpiscence Thes 4.3.4 5. This is the will of God 3. 3 Copartnership Benefit is Copartnership in all conditions better and worse As yoke fellows to take part and share equally together therein 1. To be a solace and comfort one to other in adversity as in sickness poverty disgrace What a great comfort is a loving tender husband to his dear wife in her sickness and she the like to him in his Prov. 17.17 As a brother is born for adversity so many couples finde cause to say that they were maried together for a time of adversity and that God brought them together to be mutual helps and comforts at such a time as this Judg. 13.22 23. as he did Esther to the kingdom Esther 4.14 how did Mancahs wife comfort him when he was plunged deep into fear of death 2. To be companions in joy the delight one of another in prosperity the desire of the eyes as Ezâ—kiels wife was Ezech. 24.16 Eccles 9.9 and the joy of the heart to live joyfully and comfortably together as Abraham and Sarah Gen. 26.8 Isaac and Rebekah did Abâ—melech looking out through a window saw Isaac sporting or laughing and rejoycing with his wife Which implies some pleasing familiarity or sign of love and delight between them Husband and wife are glasses to look one anothers face in and echoes of delight refreshments and reflections or repercussions of pleasure and joy the one to the other and mutual chearings each of other 4 4 Furtherance of the Mystical Mariage Benefit of Mariage is the Furtherance of the Mystical Mariage between Christ and the Soul Both Husband and wife should improve their conjugal Relation and fellowship together to promote the Communion of their souls with Christ as the Spiritual huband thereof To this end we should do three things 1. 1. To look at Christ as our Husband Hoseah 2.19 20. To look at Jesus Christ our Maker and Redeemer as our Husband Isa 54.5 as maried to us Jer. 3.14 and at
Christ A man may be said to have a thing c. as an old house oâ— Garment as if he had it not when he hath something of the same kind that is much better as a new house to go unto or new cloathes to put on when he pleaseth Now the soules Mariage with Christ is the most Excellent of all Relations Conjunctions and Consociations it is the first and chiefest mariage in excellency and thereof a Rule and pattern to humane mariage to direct the due Carriage of the Parties each to other To this purpose Paul proposeth it in the fifth of the Ephesians As a greater Light obscures a less so a greater delight weans us from a less If our souls be maried unto Christ and take pleasure in communion with Christ this will wean us from our Temporal Mariage and the delights of it as poor low things of an inferiour nature respecting the body most which is the Earthly part of man Sensual delights wherein we partake with the beasts which cannot reach the sublime part of man the soul to afford it divine refreshments which only Christ the Husband of it can do This fellowship with Christ will abundantly compensate or supply the loss or want oâ— the comfort of all other Relations and take us off them wean us from them raise up our hearts above them Even whilest we have them As it is in other things when we make Grace our cheif goods then we have Gold and silver as it we had it not or Gods favour our cheiâ— honour then we have the favour and honour of Men as if we had it not We have thing appretiatively and hold them tenaciously when we have nothing better then they or so good as the covetous man hath his gold the Ambitious man his Honor the Voluptuous Mâ—n his pleasure and the Uxorious man his wife on whom he dotes These know or have nothing that is better A man cannot have an usefull delightfull Creature as if he had it not unless he have something as good or better to injoye in the room thereof When a man hath God to his portion he may say It is enough though he hath nothing else God without all is a greater portion then All without God When Christ becomes all in all to us then all the comforts we have are as nothing to us Scil. in comparison of Christ then Mariage is nothing wealth nothing preferment nothing When we have a better Husband for our souls that is Christ then any Husband or wife is or can be for the body 4 Be sober in all the concernment of Mariage 1 Cor. 7.29.30.31 should not we upon this Account who have wives or Husbands be as if we had none 4. We that are maried may be as if we were not maried by being very fober and moderate in all the effects concomitants and concernments of Mariage which the Apostle particularizeth in and connecteth with Mariage in the text and in the thing as sorrow joy possessions and wordly affairs and businesses attending or circumstantiating that condition To be sober and moderate in all these and to be weaned or sit loose from them in our hearts both which are included in the Apostles 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 i. e 1 in Mariage comfort as if not is the way to have wives as if we had none As 1. To be sober and moderate in the use of all mariage comforts and delights and in the fruits thereof as the birth of children or the like and in our joy therein This is to rejoyce as if we rejoyced not not to overjoy our Mariage joyes Not to be excessive or immoderate in any Mariage injoyment or in our joy or delight therein for that is to have a wife or a Husband as if we had nothing besides As a man may be excess be a drunkard with his own drink and a Glutton with his own meat so likewise one may be unclean in the immoderate use of the Mariage bed Mr. Dod on 7. com 2 In Mariage grief What we are very moderate in we use as if we used it not 2. To be moderate in our grief for the troubles that accompany mariage as for the loss of wife or children The Jewes conceive that Abraham wept but a little for Sarahs death or that his mourning for her was at least not excessive but with Moderation Ainsworth Pareus because in Gen. 23.2 where its said Abraham came to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her the word weep in the Hebrew hath one little letter extraordinary David fasted and wept while his childe was yet alive but when it died why should I weep any more saith David when God took all Jobes children away at once with a stroke he blessed the name of the Lord Job 1.21 This is to weep as if we wept not not to overgrieve our mariage griefs 3. To be moderate in 3 in worldly Matters and weaned from worldly Matters which concerns mariage as 1. In Buying as if we possessed not minding earthly things as if we minded them not As a Traveller that goeth on in his way as in buying and a labourer in his work but both of them are in a deep study and their mindes are intent upon other matters then either the journey of the one or the work of the other So should our Mindes be Imployed about heavenly things as much as may be while we are going about wordly business Things above should have Our hearts while our hands and feet are busied about things below We should so deal in the world as those that are wholly taken off â—rom the world 1 Cor. 7.30 This is to buy as if we possessed not 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 as not to hold what we have bought or gotten too hard or close to our selves or ours as if we would keep all to our selves and part with nothing for God hath many wayes to pluck our purchases and possessions from us Prov 23.5 Riches make themselves wings and can flee away from us and our family and posterity as an Eagle There is great uncertainty in them this should wean us from them 2. In using he world 2 Using the world and the things of it as if we used it not as food rayment habitation and outward accomodations all which are appurtenances to mariage to be very Temperate sober and moderate in them and weaned from them not setting our hearts upon them nor being any way excessive or inordinate in the use of them is to use the word as if we used it not 1 Cor 7.3 A wise moderation in and a holy Alienation from the matters of the world may either procure or preserve and promote in us a Weanedness or fitting loose from Temporal Relations that we that have wives may 〈◊〉 as though we had none 5. And lastly 5. Enjoy relations with submission to God we that have wives or husbands may be as if we had none
Occasionatus a man occasionate a mans Occasion or the Occasion of a man to serve as an aid and as a Second to man 3. The woman was made after the man for Adam was first formed then Eve 1 Tim. 2.13 4. 1 Tim. 2.14 The woman was first in the Transgression She was first deceived by the Serpent then she drew her Husband into the same deception hereby she was the cause and beginning of sin and ruine to all mankinde and though she was given to be a help to man yet she proved at first to be a great hurt and hindrance to him From this priority and causality of the woman in sin the Apostle infers and presseth subjection and silence upon her to the man and not to usurp Authority over the man 1 Tim. 2.11 12 14. upon this account she was more straitly subjected to her Husband For this was inflicted as a chastisement for sin upon the woman Gen. 3.16 that her desire should be subject to her Husband he should ruleover her which implies as some observe a further Rule then man had over her by Creation and with more trouble and grief unto woman-kinde So that the yoke is now become to her more hard and heavy to be borne Women may Object Object That was Eves fault to be deceived by the Serpent and to be first in the Transgression not ours Answ Eves punishment is yours therefore her fault is yours Her peculiar sin is the fall distinct from Adams is justly imputed to you or else her particular punishment distinct from Adams is unjustly inflicted upon you Eves fault is as much yours as Adams sin is ours This subjection of the wife to the husband was the ground of the womans wearing a vail or covering as a sign she is under the power and Authority of her Husband 1 Cor. 11.9 10. and subject to him Rebekah took a vail and covered her self when she saw Isaac Gen. 24.65 Therefore she was made out of the side not of the head that she might be under him not above him in place and power Sarah obeyed Abraham whose daughters all obedient wives are 1 Pet. 3.6 And the holy women in old Time who trusted in God were in subjection to their own Husbands to v. 5. and those wives that are not obedient to their Husbands are not good Tit. 2.5 In this sence as some conceive the woman is said to be The Glory of the man 1 Cor. 11.7 scilâ—by her subjection when she obeyes her Husband as man is the glory of God when he obeyes God This is the first Duty of the wife Submission a Comely Lesson for her to learn Disobedience in a wife is a fault even in a Queen much greater in a meaner woman even among Heathens much more among Christians that are better taught as in Queen Vashti Esther 1.12.20 2. 2. Reverence Eph. 5.33 Duty of the wife is Reverence to her husbands person all due respect to him as her head in word and deed in gesture and deportment Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham and called him Lord. 1 Pet. 3.6 she is as one saith crowned and chronicl'd for it Michal mocked her Husband David 2 Sam. 6.21 23. and God smote her with barrenness for it she was childless to her death The wises reverential respect to her husband is an honour to him and an Ornament to her self 3. 3. Helpfulnes Duty is Helpfulness to her Husband in every thing in his body to cherish that in his soul to tender that in his family to order that in his Estate to get at least to save and to dispose that aright not to spend or waste the same in his calling and affairs to promote them in his Name and Credit to preserve that in his secrets to lock them up in her bosom She ought to be a Help to him in every thing a hinderance in nothing Else she is a woman but not a wife and he that findes her doth not find a good thing Prov. 18.22 The wife should cherish her husband as the better part of her self For this very end God made her for man and maried her to man to be a help meet for him Gen. 2.18 If she be not a meet help for the man shee will not please satisfie and give content A wife is like a garment though the cloath it s made of be very good yet if it do not fit us it will not please us it wil be uneasy or uncomely we take no delight to wear it Conveniency causeth contentation If the wife be no meet help shaped and cut out as it were of purpose for the man to fit and sute him every way in his disposition conversation and occasions she will not sit close to the man as a garment doth to the body that fits it but hang loose or be ready to fall off and rather hinder then further him and not be an Ornament to him I commend Prov. 31. from 10. to the end as a Glass for all that would be good wives to look and dress themselves in or as a pattern to imitate or Rule to walk by every day A vertuous woman will do her husband good and not evil all the days of her life c. approve her self faithful to him in every thing that his heart may trust safely in her Pro. 31.11 12. For Mariage is Conjugium the fellowship of a yoak wherein the wife must bear one end and draw equally with her husband 4. 4. Chastity Tit. 2.5 Duty is Chastity of Conversation which followes from chastity of affection and disposition in the heart wives must abstain not onely from all acts but from all Appearances of lightness wantonnesse dalliance or unfaithfulness that their husbands who cast off ordinances and holy duties may by the holy and chaste conversation of their wives be gained to the Lord to have a liking and good opinion of the Gospel and the wayes of Christ in which they walk 1 Pet. 3.1 2. This should be the wises design upon her husband 5. 5. Fear Duty is Conjugal feare of offending or displeasing her husband She that is maried Saith Paul careth for the things of the world how she may please her husband 1 Cor. 7.34 Wives should couple chastity with fear in their carriage to their husbands not to cross or vex or greive them 6. 6 Modesty Duty of a wife is modesty of Apparel and of behaviour 1 Of Apparel 1 of Apparel not to affect costly gaudy attire new fangled fashions or to go above her rank or to give way to pride vanity excess therein or to account outward adorning as plaiting of the haire or wearing of Gold c. or decking of the body her chiefe Ornament but 1. A meek and quiet spirit the frame of the hidden man of the heart which is incorruptible which is of great price in the sight of God 1. Pet. 3.3 4. and a great Ornament in the sight of men For after this manner in the
Old Time the holy women who trusted in God and were in subjection to their own Husbands adorned themselves vers 5. 2. 1 Tim. 2.8 9 10. And good works I will saith Paul that women adorn themselves in modest apparel with shamefastness and sobriety not with broidered hair or gold pearls or costly aray But which become women professing Godliness with good works Both Paul and Peter are to be understood in a Comparative sense that womens adorning should be not so much in outward attire as in inward vertues or rather in the latter then in the former Even Godly women may wear Gold and jewels and precious things and good attire as Rebekah did the earring and bracelets which Abrahams servant put upon her Gen. 24.30 47. with these limitations 1. That these be sutable to their rank place and state and not costly above their ability and as the most wise godly grave women are habited 2 That they be without wantonness wastfulness or curious nicerâ—â—s or new fangledness for fashion God visiâ—eth for strange apparel Zeph. 1.8 3 Without pride Vanity or Excess or thinking better of themselves for them 4 So that they place their chiefest fineness in their inward adornings rather then outward more in their Graces and good works then in their Garments and indeavour by the outward ornament of their bodies to set forth the inward beauty of their soules 2 2 Of behaviour Tit 2 3. Also modesty of behaviour to express the inward holiness of their hearts in sober deportment in countenance gesture and speech to open their mouths with discretion Prov. 31.26 Prov. 7.11 12 and 9.13 and bridle their tongues and not be as the harlot babling and clamorous who is as extravagant in her Tongue as in her feet Good wives should account meekness of spirit their chief ornament and take heed they be not either 1 Proud or imperious in their spirits speeches looks Carriage 2 Or unquiet turbulent impatient alway brawling or chiding Such wives are neither credit nor comfort to their husbands but a continual vexation Thorns in their sides and pricks in their eyes The contentions of a wife are a continual dropping 19. Prov. 13. and 27.15 Like rain that falls into all the rooms of a house which is very tedious and irksome Prov. 21.9.25.21 It is better to Awâ—â—â— in the Corner of a house-top then with a â—rawling woman in a wide house Thus much concerning the particular duties of Husband to wife and of the wife to her Husband 2. Duties common to both 7. 2. Now follow the Duties Common to both husband and wife and to be performed by both or Exercised to or with or for both which are equally reciprocal and of like Obligation These are seven 1 Prayer 1. Prayer to God frequent and fervent both joyntly and severally for all mariage Graces and mariage Comforts Especially 1. For sutablenesse of Disposition that God would fashion your hearts alike 2. For wisdom to carry with most beauty amiableness and swâ—â—tness for the benefit and advantage comfort and encouragement one of another 3 For Gods presence with you in it and for Gods blessing upon it and that God would build you a house Psalm 127. by giving you hopeful children faithful servants blessed goods Let Husband and wife interest God much in their Mariage by prayer Reas 1 Because a Conjugal condition can be no more comfortable or satisfactory to us then God maketh it It will be an empty thing if God do not fill it and bitter if God do not sweeten it It is not the having of a Husband or a Wife but of God in them or with them that giveth content comfort and satisfaction We ought in all our wayes to acknowledge God especially in Mariage which is one of the chief of our wayes and a great Turn of our lives which concerns the future Comfort thereof 2 Because mercies got with prayer are got with a blessing and prove the sweetest mercies of all Prayer sanctifies Mariage 1 Tim 4.3 4. and makes the acts of it holy in manner and happy in end 2. 2 Love Tit. 2.4 Common duty is Conjugal love which is not proper to the Husband alone but should be mutual and reciprocal between them both To this end husband and wife ought to love one another 1 Chiefly for the grace of God the one seeth in the other that being unchangeable their love will be constant When Religion tieth the knot of affection between them it holds fast till death But when they love one another chiefly for other respects as beauty wealth or fulfilling the desires of the flesh c. when these are satisfied or fail love will cool 2. Really at their hearts or in sincerity For to dissemble affections and Counterfeit love and kindness will deprive them of the comfort and sweetnesse of mariage and make it in Time a burden and bitterness to them Sincere love knits their hearts as mâ—n joynes their hands together Else they will not cleave but sit loose and be ready to leave one another 4. Grounds of mutual love But there be four special Grounds of mutual love and deareness between Husband and wife scil Donation Propriety Union and Necessity 1. Donation They are special gifts bestowed by God the one upon the other 1 Donation Prov. 18.22 and 19.14 which should be a precious Endearment of one to other Thus they should look at themselves This is the woman God hath given to me to be a meet help for me above al the women in the world So this is that man God hath fited for me and given to me for a head and Guide above all other men in the world 2. 2 Propriety Propriety or the Mutual Interest they have by matrimony one in another They are one anothers Owne properly and peculiarly so as they are no bodies else and so as no person or thing in the world is their own for they are maried One to another so are they to no body to nothing besides The Apostle asserts this matrimonial interest in the 1. of Cor. 7.2 Let every man have his own wife and every woman have her own husband The wise hath not power of her own body but her husband nor the Husband hath power of his owne body but the wife so as not to account their own bodyes to be at their own disposal The wife is the Husband only one and he is hers They should be mutual darlings one to another because they are mutual Proprietors one of another by self resignation of each to other they give themselves mutual power one over another Now every one loveth his own best non quia pulchrum sed quia Suum his own Children his own goods his own house c. for propriety more then for beauty beause they are his own Shall a man love any thing that is his own but his wife or better then his wife or shall a wife love any thing that is
her own but her husband or better then her husband or shall a man love other mens wives or a woman love other womens husbands better then their own Peculiarity of Interest is a Ground of Speciality of love 3. 3 Union Ground of special love between them is union The Conjunction Husband and wise have one with another They two are in many respects as one person and so one together as they are not or should not be with any one besides in all the world to wit one flesh Gen. 2.24 as it were incarnated one to another Adam acknowledged this when God had made the woman for him and brought or maried her to him he said This is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh to shew his Thankfulnes to God and love to his wife Gen. 2.23 as wondering at Gods goodness to him therein Mariage is a moral conjunction of two persons so as Man and wife are in Law one flesh by Gods Ordinance It is the strictest bond of any relation and therfore a fellowship of the dearest amitie nearer then that between Parents and Children Though children have their flesh and bone from their Parents yet they are not one flesh with their Parents Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wise This Gen. 2.24 was the sanction of mariage All Society must be left that this between man and wife may be kept This is Pauls rule Let not the wise depart from her husband 1 Cor. 7.0.11 â—â—â—ach 2 16. and Let not the Husband put away his wife for God hates putting away The wife must be an individual companion of life The saying of the Philosopher that perfect friendship is onely between two is most true in this case between man and wife because they two are by mariage made one 4 Necessity The 4 Ground of spiritual love between them is Necessity of the one for the other even for their being as well as for their walking In both these respects we may understand that of the Apostle 1 Cor. 11.11 Neither is the man without the woman neither is the woman without the man in the Lord. The man is not without the woman nor can be because man now is conceived and born of a woman The woman is not without the man Job 14.1 because she is now begotten of man so that they are mutual Causes the one of the other The woman hath her Generation froÌ„ the man the man hath his conception and birth from the woman They cannot be much less be well the one without the other The Husband should look at his wife as Causa sine qua non a help he cannot well be without for God said It is not good that man should be alone and the woman should look at her husband under the same notion It is not good for the woman to be alone Therefore the husband should not insult over his wife because oâ— his superiority over her nor the wife be discouraged because of her inferiority or subjection to him because they have need the one of the other as fellowes to bear and draw in one yoke together Now mutual Necessity should breed mutual love between them What is so dear unto the wife as the childe of her Womb Isa 49 15. yet the husband should be dearer to her as Eâ—kanah said to Hannah 1 Sam. 1.8 Am not I better to thee then ten sons 3 3 Common duâ—â— is Communion Common duties between Husband and wife is communion which flowes from the union of their Persons by mariage for union is the ground of Communion or communication of their bodies souls goods and respects 1. 1 Of bodies Of their bodies by mutual benevolence performed by the one to the other 1. Gor. 7.3.4 2 By cohabitation 1 Pet. 3.7 or dwelling together unless it be for a time and upon necessary Occasions 3. by conjugal fidelity reserving themselves intirely and peculiarly proper the one for the other as Christ and his Church doth Hosea 3.3 2 2 Of souls Of their souls for the spiritual good of both The heart as well as the body should be common between Husband and wife One saith that both the body and the soul are united together in Mariage Conjugal love will make hearts advance together as well as bodies as amical love doth friends The Soul of Jonathan was knit with the Soul of David and Jonathan loved him as his own soul 1 Sam. 18.1 as lustful love makes the souls of unclean persons to cleave together as well as their bodies as Shechems soul clave to Dinah Jacobs daughter whom he defiled Gen. 34.3 1 Kings 11.3 and Solomon clave unto many strange women in love But I shall speak more of this Soul communion between maried persons in the fourth common duty 3 3. Of Gods Of their Goods and Estates labours and indeavours a joynt fruition thereof for mutual benefit and Comfort 4 4. Of respects to their kindred Also there should be a communion of due respect and loving kindness to the kindred and friends that pertain to either partie The Husband and Wife lie as corner-stones in the wall to joyn several alliances and kindreds together and ought to carry very respectfully to their Affinity contracted by Mariage Esau's wives offended greatly in grieving the hearts of their Husbands parents Gen. 26.35 4. 4. Furtherance of the salvation one of another Common duty is to further the salvation and soul good one of another as given of God to that end Husband and Wife should labour to gain one another to Christ and help one another to Heaven What knowest thou O wife saith Paul but thou mayest be a means to save thy Husband and whâ—t knowest thou O man but thou mayest save thy wife However this ought to be the Serious indeavors of both If thou know not whether thou shalt yet try whether thou canst To this end Extend your desires and labours in three particulars 1 To heal infirmities the one seeth in the other as pride passion discontent folly vanity excess or the like Take the fittest Time when the parties may best be wrought upon it is aptest to take Impressions or is in a tractable ductile frame and chuse the best manner to doe it in a taking efficacious way Beg wisedom of God for it rightly to observe what is amisse in a yoke-fellow to heal it or to cover it Happy is that couple whom God makes Heaven of Spiritual Infirmities or Spiritual Physitians one to another The wife should be a second Conscience to her Husband a bosome Monitor to tell him privately of his faults to amend them 2 To increase Graces mutually and to incourage one another to the Exercise of them as of faith love patience of prudence piety charity sobriety and the like 3 To Excite and Encourage unto duties and to provoke one another unto good works and to quicken and sharpen or edge
themselves thereunto to take off dulness and aversness the one from the other Yoke fellows should draw on one another to God and good and towards Heaven to publick ordinances and private exercises and to the Communion of Saints They should be goads and spurs each to other and worship God together as Companions in his service and fellow travellers walking hand in hand together to the kingdom of glory That they may be like Zacharias and Elizabeth both righteous walking in all the Commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless Luc. 1.6 like Abraham and Sara both believers like Elkanah and Hannah 1 Sam. 1. both true worshipers of God like Aquila and Priscilla both helpers in the work of Christ Rom. 16.3 4. Now if either father or mother believe the children are holy federally 1 Cor. 7.14 and many promises are made to them especially if both the Parents be saints and believers God blesseth such with pious and prosperous children which are double blessings as he did Abraham and Sarah with an Isaac Elkanah and Hannah with a Samuel Zacharias and Elizabeth with a John Manoah and his wife with a Sampson Such Godly compeers make mariaâ—e it self honourable and they will live and die with Glory 5 Patience The fifth Common duty is Patience Husband and Wife should not onely labour to heal of which before but if they cannot yet to bear with infirmities one in another Remember this Rule never to be angry both at once but the one should bear with the others frowardness and Passion and for a time give way to it This is the way to overcome and quench passion in a yoke-fellow and to make them afterwards love one another better when the one by yeelding a little hath conquered the other whereas to be both angry at once is to add fewel to the fire and to make the slame of Contention between them very great this will dissolve the glue of affecton that made them cleave together and separate them and make of one two Patience is necessary to prevent breaches and preserve Conjugal Amity and familiarity between maried Couples and to possess themselves and one another It was the speech of a godly man I count it a necessary Qualification in one whom I may match my self unto to have no predominant humor in her which I cannot bear but to be able to bear any Infirmity of mine Another Reverend man as is reported seeing a very cholerick couple live very lovingly and quietly together as Husband and wife asked them how they could so sweetly agree and consort together to whom the man answered when my wifes fit is upon her I yeeld to her as Abraham did to Sarah and when my fit is upon me she yeelds to me and so we never strive together but assunder This mutual forbearance each of other will beget contention with their Coujugal Condition and further their endeavours to sute their minde to their Choice and to be well pleased one in another after Mariage Mal. 15. though before mariage they might have fitted their Choice to their minde That Mariage hath a great blessing in it wherein the greatest Contention between Man and Wife is who should love each other most and please one another best 6. ProcreatioÌ„ of Children 6. The sixth Common duty Procreation of children I will saith Paul that the younger women mary and bear children 1 Tim. 5.14 especially to seek a godly seed To this end Husband and wife should wrest by prayer with God not onely to bless them with the fruit of the womb but with such a seed as shall be blessed is not onely to give them children but children of promise as well as of providence such as he will make his children by grace as well as their children by nature heirs of God and coheirs with Christ God at the first made onely one woman for one man though he being the God of the spirit of all flesh had power to have made more but he did Conjoyn one woman onely to that one man and still continueth his ordinance of the same single Copulation that he might seek a seed of God that is a religious and holy posterity such as might worship him the onely true God and propagate his Church This is a proper and principal end of Mariage to wit the procreation of children â—or the propagation of Gods worship and of his Church of which I shall speak again afterwards yea this was the end of it Even in mans Innocency when he was without sin Hence amongst Gods people virginity was a grief as in the Case of Jephtahs daughter Judg 11.37 40. and barrenness was accounted a shame and reproach 1 Sam. 5.6 7. as Elizabeths speech implies Luc. 1.25 Hannah had experience hereof upon this Account because they could not increase the Church of God For which end Paul bids the younger women mary Tim. 2 14. Whereas an ungodly seed serves to increase the Synagogue of Satan Idolatry and profaneness and cause exceeding grief and troubles to their godly Parents And as it should be their earnest desire to bring forth a godly seed so should it be their care to bring thâ—m up for God in the Discipline and nurture of the Lord Ephes 6.7 in the fear and knowledge of God and in his worship loving their souls better then their bodies Augustin praised his mother that she travelled in greater pain for his Soul then she did in bringing forth his bodie Solomons Mother taught him a Prophesie that is lessons of chastity and temperance and the properties of a good wife Prov. 31. His father David composed a Psalm for his instruction Psal 72. Timotheus mother taught him the scriptures from his Infancy 2 Tim. 1.5 3.15 7 to build a godly family 7. Common dutie is to build a godly family not onely by the procreation and religious Education of children which is a pillar of the house but by a wise and godly Goverment and ordering of the house in which the wife ought to act her part I will saith Paul that the younger women mary and bear children and guide the house that is domestick affairs 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 1 Tim. 5.14 domi-portae To this end they ought to be discreet that is prudent and circumspect and keepers at home Titus 2.5 housewives to carry their houses as it were on their backs as snails do The Harlot doth not so Prov. 7.11.12 Her feet abide not in her house now she is without now in the street But Abraham when he was askt where is Sarah thy wife he said Gen. 18 9. behold she is in the Tent. To this end Husband and wife should put forth joynt endeavours in five particulars 1. 5 Things are requisite hereto 1 Family duties Jer. 10.25 To performe holy duties in their houses constantly of reading the Scriptures and of prayer Evening and Morning For without prayer they and their Familie lies open to Gods wrath and