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A52818 A spiritual legacy being a pattern of piety for all young persons practice in a faithful relation of the holy life and happy death of Mr. John Draper / represented out of his own and other manuscripts containing his experiences, exercises, self examinations and evidences for heaven ; together with his funeral sermons ; published by Chr. Ness. Ness, Christopher, 1621-1705.; Draper, John, d. 1682. 1684 (1684) Wing N464; ESTC R29558 57,400 206

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shall eat drink or put on They hunger and thirst no more they are then 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 as the Angels that need no such things Mat. 22.30 The Lamb there Leads and feeds them Rev. 7.16 17 they are then clothed with Glory 2 Cor. 5.2 c 2. From Labours of Infirmity they have their Writs of Ease No more pain as well as no more pains Rev. 21.4 No Grief nor Gripes then Job in no fear of the Caldeans there Job 3.17 18. Their Bacah is then turned into Berachah their sighing into singing misery into majesty All Tears are wip'd from their Eyes 3. From the Labours of Iniquity All men are under a Sinful Necessity here Eccles. 7.20 Sin will keep house with us whether we will or no 'T is an heart-greiving Inmate till Death turn it out of doors as Sarah did Hagar Gen. 21.10 c. This the Anti-Type Typified by the fretting Leprosie that could not be scraped out of the walls of the house infected with it until all the Stones and Timber thereof were taken down to the ground Levit. 14.45 44 45. As Vltimus morborum medicus est mors Death heals all the Diseases of the Body So Peccatum erat obstetrix mortis mors erit Sepulchrum peccati Sin was the. Mid-wife to Death and Death shall be the Sepulchre of Sin in the Soul A believing Soul is not taken away in his sins as John 8.21 but from his sins Till then we are all bound to this Body of Sin which makes us cry out O Wretched men that wc are c. This brings down with Sorrow to the Grave But then Christ Delivers us from that Bond Rom. 7.24 25. Causing the Death of the Body quite to destroy that Body of Death till then mans life is a sore Travel Eccles. 1.13 2.23 While the Plummets of Sin hang at the heels of our Souls we are Restless altogether Restless but when Death comes to Strike off those Plummets Then there is a Rest in deed The Third and last Resemblance in Job 9.26 is from the Eagles Flying the Climax here is very observable An Eagle is swifter than a Ship as a Ship swifter than a Post The Eagle of all flying Fowls is reputed the swiftest flight and hath the strongest Wing Habb 1.8 Prov. 30.19 The way of an Eagle in the Air is High Swift Strong Thus Life hasteth from us and Death hastens to us as doth the Eagle to the Carcass it desireth to devour Matth. 24.28 Then is the Eagle most swift when hunger as it were doth add Wings to his Wings then comes he upon his Prey like a Thunder-Bolt upon the Earth swiftly and suddenly before it can shift for it self Thus Death is not said to walk on foot but is mounted on Horseback Rev. 6.8 Death rideth upon the Pale Horse Death Rideth Post as above upon a winged Horse to us as Life doth the like in Posting from us Oh how suddenly some persons are surprized with sudden Death The Sixth and last Observation is from the Quality of it mans life is also a most miserable Life 'T is not only a poor Pilgrimage but 't is also a short and miserable one 'T is called here a Pilgrimage and that made up of a few daies and those evil ones also When Man came first out of Gods Mint in his state of Innocency he was a curious Silver-Peice which shone most gloriously Psal 8.5 Eccles. 7.29 c. But now since the Fall he is become a poor thin worn lost Groat Luke 15.8 9. Which hath lost its lustre weight the sound of silver and its image and superscription He is now the Prodigal lost and a Pilgrim wandering in the Wilderness of sin when cast out of the Garden of God Man is now become miserable every way miserable in his Name Enosh which signifies mere misery And in his Nature but a bagg of Dung a lump not only of Vanity but of Misery also Man is miserable 1. At his Birth Antequam natus est Damnatus saith Ambrose He is Condemned as he is Conceived His Birth is polluted Psal 51.5 and Ezek. 16.4 5. Job 14.12 He comes crying into the World prophecying as it were that he is now launching out of the Haven of the Womb into the wide Ocean of Care and Calamity So 2. He is miserable in his Life A Life Full of Trouble Job 14.1 He is Born to misery Job 5.7 His Childhood and Youth is not only Vanity Eccles. 11.10 But if not villany 't is yet misery Yea his Middie-Age is made miserable by grasping too greedily of that bundle of Thorns the World c. Much more his Old-Age which is expresly called an Evil Age Eccles. 12.1 Thus in these four respects man is more than thrice miserable as to his life 3. At his Death most of all if not Bornagain before he Dye then he doth but Begin his Endless Misery VSE I. Oh that I could be a Boanerges or Son of Thunder to awaken souls out of the fleep of Sin what meanest thou O thou Sleeper arise c. Jon. 1.6 Awake awake why sleepest thou c. Eph. 5.14 Call upon thy God and be not still fast lull'd asleeep by a Soul-undoing Devil in the bewitching Cradle of Carnal Security Knowest thou not that upon this moment and God only knows how short it may be depends no less than thy Eternity of Woe or Weal As the Tree falls so it lyes and so it rises again what way the Tree leans that way it falls either to South or North and it leans that way it hath most boughs on O then enquire on what side most boughs grow that to Heaven or that to Hell Ye had better dye in a Ditch Dunghil or Dungeon as Dye in sin Joh. 8.21 VSE II. Then Study this Patriarchs Opticks who had a Right Prospect of mans life that it is but a Lingring Death a Poor Short and Miserable Pilgrimage wherein thou must expect foul way and weather as well as fair A Returna Brevi Term may ere ever thou be aware determine thy Pilgrimage The Angels Question to Hagar Whence comest thou and whither goest thou Gen. 16.8 Whether to Heaven or Hell is of Infinite Importance He that gathers in Summer is a wise son Prov. 10.5 As this Young-Man whose Funeral we are Solemnizing did He had learnt to look upon all worldly things with a Pilgrim's Eye and to make use of them in his way Home with a Pilgrims Heart Much more might I say from my own personal Knowledge were it not that it is not my manner to Paint Sepulchres or to Beautifie the Tombs of the dead which is a work fitter for a Pharisee Mat. 23.29 than for a Gospel-Minister c. VSE III. Oh that all Young Men were such Mortified Timothies as He was who lived much in a little Time And though he be deprived of the residue of his dayes Isa 38.10 And hath not the long life promised to Piety yet God keeps his
evil but as he was Israel so his Days were many and good He had two Names Jacob and Israel Genesis 49.1 2. both given him from his Wrestling the farmer Name was given him for wrestling with his Brother for the Birth-right in the Womb wherein he Miscarried but the latter for his Wrestling with his God for the Blessing at Penuel wherein his Valour through Divine Condescension obtain'd the Victory When the Messiah saw Jacob's undaunted Courage in resolutely detaining him Asks him his Name Gen. 32.24 26 27. As if he should say Thou art such a Fellow as I never met with who though thou be lamed and laid Hard at yet wilt not let me go without my Blessing Thou hast let thy Flocks go and thy Herds go Thou hast let thy Wives go and thy Children go yet thou wilt not let me go nor my Blessing go I will not let thee go except thou Bless me saith Jacob v. 26. Hereupon He Honours Him as it were with the Honour of Knighthood saying to him Kneel down Jacob Rise up Israel for as a Prince thou hast had Power with God and with Men and hast prevailed Gen. 32.28 Hos 12.3 4. Now Jacob is a Name of Weakness the poor Worm Jacob Isa 41.14 Trampled upon and trodden under foot This Afflicted State made Jacob sigh out those Sad Words All these things are against me Gen. 42.36 and those of my Text also Few and Evil have the Days of the Years of my Life been But so far as he had Princely Power as Israel signifies both with God and with Men In this Sence his Days were many and good One Day with God is a Thousand elsewhere VSE Hence learn we the Reason why the Church is called Jacob through out the Scriptures when Speech is of her Weakness and Calamity But she is frequently call'd Israel to signifie her Splendour and Glory and as it is thus with the Church of God in General so it is with the Children of God in Particular Some times they are run down with strange Temptations and with strong Tribulations then are they the poor Worm Jocob Isa 41.14 The Shulamite found two Armies Warring in her The Army of the Flesh and the Army of the Spirit Cant. 6.13 When the Army of the Flesh or Amalek prevaileth as Exod. 17.11 then the Seed of Jocob droops but when they are made strong in their Weakness 2 Cor. 12.9 Strengthned with all Might Col. 1.11 and made able through the Supplies of Christ's Spirit Phil. 1.19 to Tread down Strength as Judg. 5.21 even the strongest Temptation without then are they called the Israel of God Gal. 6.16 for their Prince-like prevailing over Flesh World and Devil III. Observation From the Circumstances of the Text. The Third Observation ariseth from the Conjunction of these two Parts This Question and the Answer to it which is 'T is a Duty Incumbent upon all Mankind to be Asking and Answering How the Days of the Years of their Lives do pass away It was Moses's Prayer Lord teach us to number our Days that we may apply our Hearts unto Wisdom Psal● 90.12 In which Psalm it being ● Meditation of Man's Mortality corresponding with my Text therefore Mark 1. Moses mentions the Brevity and Uncertainty of Man's Life comparing it to a Watch v. 4. which is but the fourth part of a Night Mark 13.35 Then he goes on and compares it to a Sleep to a Dream all vanishing things and to a Tale that is soon told and is as soon forgotten lastly to Grass which we well know if it be not cut down in Summer or Autumn doth wither in Winter So such Mortals as are not cut down with the Sithe of Death in their Youth do yet wither away in the Winter of Old Age. Quid est Vita nisi quidam Cursus ad Mortem said the Ancient Father Life is nothing but a Posting to Death The 2d Occurrence in this Meditation of Moses upon Man's Morality is his assigning the proper procuring Cause of this Humane Mise●y to wit Divine Displeasure ●gainst Sin which causeth God to ●urn Man to Destruction ver 7 8. Man at the first was made Immortal he had then an Immortal Body a Suitable Companion for his Immortal Soul These two Sweet Associates had never been severed each from other if Man had not sinned against his Maker Had Adam stood on his State of Innocency He should then have rendred to the Lord a time of perfect Obedience and Service here upon Earth and when that Homage to his Great Landlord had been accomplish'd he should then have been Translated from Earth without the least taste of Death to Heaven the Soul should never have been separated from the Body as now it is for the Wages of Sin is Death Rom. 6.23 It was that one Man's Offence that pulled up the Sluce and let in Death as a Deluge with a Regal Authority over all the World Rom. 5.14 to 17. and Sin did not only let in Death but also all sorts of Sicknesses Sorrows and Sufferings that are Forerunners of it Then 3ly Moses Condemns Mans Dulness in taking no more notice of this Divine Displeasure ver 11. All other Creatures know their Times and their Seasons Jerem. 8.7 but Man knoweth not the Day of his Visitation till He come to be Snared in an Evil Net c. Eccles 9.12 Though Man's Life be a Life full of all Inconveniencies of Indignities of Injuries of Infirmities and of Iniquities also yet such is the Stupidity of the Fall'n Nature that Man puts the Thoughts of these things far from him Amos 6.3 Fourthly Hereupon Moses begs God for Illuminating Grace wherewith to make a more Distinct Discovery of all Humane Frailty Lord teach w to number our Days c. ver 12. And the Sweet-Singer of Israel David will be of the same Chorus with Moses sighing as well as singing out these Synonimical Sentences Lord make me ●o know my end and the Measure of my Days what it is That I may know how frail I am c. Psal 39.4 5. Thus likewise Jacob in my Text carries on the like Concord and Consort to compleat the Harmony complaining here Few and evil have the Days of the Years of my Life been c. Adding only this one Note of Discord for making better Musick that God had taught him this great Truth concerning his own Frailty He had seen it for time past and He would be sensible of it for time to come his Days had been few and Evil Now they might be fewer and worse seeing He and all his were famished out of Canaan the Land of Promise into Egypt the place where his Posterity would be evilly intreated Gen. 15.13 VSE Moses teacheth us what use to make of the knowledge of our own Frailty It should strongly stir us up to an earnest imploring of Divine Mercy He maketh a loud Out cry after Mercy Crying Return O Lord How long c. Oh satisfie us early with thy Mercy
fold 1. ●o let go sin not only in action but ●n affection also and 2. to lay hold on Christ as one undone without Him Thus came this blessed Soul to be broken off from the Wild Olive Rom. 11.24 In his letting go and ●aying down of sin as the greatest evil and by Grace became grafted ●nto that Blessed and Bleeding Vine ●he Lord Jesus John 15.1 2. who ever after his happy grafting time became a fruit bearing branch have●ng juice and nourishment administred abundantly to him from the ●ree of Life Jesus Christ as the sequel will manifest in almost unparal●eld instances Thus far in short for his experiences in his first Conversion now come we to treat more largely of his whole Conversation some parts whereo● shall be reduced to the three following Heads His Exercises His Ex●minations of Himself and his Evidences for Heaven which he attain●● unto c. CHAP. II. NOW after his thorough a●● sound Conversion follows 〈◊〉 holy Conversation which appear●● to be much in Heaven by his conve●sing so much with God and with 〈◊〉 own heart in his due preparatio● for and true participation of th●● greatest of ordinances the Lords S●●per as is manifest by those experiences writ with his own hand upon that subject which with no small trouble yet with great delight are here transcribed Now that he was bred and made a new creature by his effectual calling he found and felt a necessity that he must also be fed so asks councel about the concern of his Soul and learnt those Divine Lessons which He recorded As 1. the Lords Supper is so called because our Lord ordained it at his last Supper instead of the Passover 2. 't is the duty of Beleivers to receive it else they do slight his Love and disobey his Command 3. And to receive it often according to Christs command and the Apostles practice 4. That being dull and doubting under my Spiritual wants saith he I must give all dilligence toprepare my Heart for so great a work All are naturally unfit God will come and veiw his guests I have to do with the Son of God c. 5. This preparation must be made by a narrow search of my own Heart concerning my Sins my wants and my Graces and by fervent and solemn prayer 6. The Graces I must go to God and get from him are Knowledge Faith Love Repentance and New Obedience 7. I must have Knowledg for without it the heart cannot be good nor can I know my self nor discern the Lords Body I must know how man was created and how he fell and I in him how we are recovered by Christ how renewed after the image of God in knowledg c. till then my understanding is dark and ignorant my conscience benummed my affections out of order and set upon wrong objects my memory brittle my eyes full of adultry and my whole Frame out of Frame the knowledg of those things will help to break my heart that such a filthy lump of Sin as I am should see and feel the arms of Christ imbracing me 8. I must have Faith whereby I may hartily receive him as my Lord and Redeemer and rely upon him alone both for safety and salvation Without faith 't is not possible to please God and I may not displease him at his own Table when I go thither for the food of my Soul 9. I must have repentance because I must judg my self that I be not judged I must both mourn for sin and turn from sin when I come to the Lords Table c. 10. I must have Love too because the Apostle saith without Love all is nothing 't is uncomfortable to sit down at the table of an enemy whom we love not and who loves not us but 't is dreadfull and dangerous to sit down in our Enmity 11. I must have new Obedience also else I come in my rebellion and for Some Sinister end not out of obedience I must here renew my covenant with God and be as serious as if I were to dye Both in begging to be rid of that Sin which most disturbs the peace of my Soul and to have that mercy which would do me most good in a Dying Hour c. 12. I must quicken and draw forth into act all these forenamed Habits of Grace when I come to the Lords Table there meditating upon the great work of mans redemption Gods severity against sin in the death of my Surety Savior the preciousness of my Soul that cost such a price and the priviledges purchased for me thereby for which I must be thankful c. Having thus solemnly prepared his Soul for this great and tremendous ordinance from July 22. 1681. to August the 7h before he was yet twenty years old he sat down the first time upon that day at the Lords Table Upon this first Sacrament he received August the seventh thus he writes Before I sat down and at my first approach to the Table something of Fear and Trembling seized upon me but soon after I had some Sweet Sights of my Dear Redeemer I saw him by Faith how he stood with his Arms wide open to receive me and how he was Pierced that the Blood came out of his Blessed and Bleeding Sides I had then a clearer Sight of my God through my Redeemer and of his blessed Angels This was ravishing and Oh how refreshing but could not get my heart Inflamed enough with Love to Christ I laid open my Sins and beg'd the Pardon of them might be Sealed I promised to live up to this Obligation c. Concerning the Second Sacrament he Received Sept. 4. 1681. He gives this account I had not duely prepared my Heart for so great a work and Ordinanance but blessed for ever blessed be the Lord who did not deal with me according to my unpreparedness which if he had done I had not been here but been banished from his presence and so been under the Death of Deaths But he was pleased to give me a Sight of himself which I esteem above life and likewise a Sight of God and Christs conferring about mans Redemption I saw the Lord as it were saying Come ye Holy Angels behold man is fallen see if ye can find a way for his recovery which they could not but Christ took upon him mans salvation And I saw my self as it were in Hell where I had for ever laid but Christ came and drew me out then I embraced him as my Prophet Priest and King and became willing to forsake the World and all for Christ O that I may do it more and more and never have this frame worn off but that while I am below with my Body my Soul may be above with my God c. The Third Sacrament was October 2d 1681. on which he writes thus as the minister in administring was saying So that you are unfeignedly willing to receive Christ and whom nothing will satisfy but him I bid come and welcome
till she reach her desired Harbour or Haven Mark also the Congruity in sundry Particulars betwixt Man's Passage through this Life and a Ships passing through the Sea The First Congruity is as a Ships Bulk being built just after the manner of Man's Body in a Supine posture the Bottom-Tree answering our Back-Bone which hath many Ribs rising up on both sides c. is made for Motion not Rest Hence the Ignorant Indians call'd the first ships they beheld Moving Islands All ships are made for launching out into the Deep Waters Psal 107.23 24. And when heaved from off the Stocks where they are built in order to their passing down into the Deep have a peculiar Name as the Good-Speed the Adventure c. put upon them Even so it is with the poor Isle of Man so called he upon his first Launching forth from his Mothers Womb into a Sea of misery hath some significant Name put upon him with many hearty wishes from Parents and Relations sent after him both for his Safety and Success Secondly No sooner is the Ship Launched out into the Main Ocean but she meets with contarry Winds raging Waves dreadful Storms c. as before so that she is never safe or quiet till she reach her Rest in her desired Haven Psal 107.30 Thus it is with Man while in this lower World the place of Pyracy Job 7.1 ut supra He is assaulted with many Pyrates who hang out false Colours to decoy him within the Command of their Cannons He is Afflicted tossed with Tempests and not Comforted Isa 54.11 This present evil World is a very Shop fully furnished with All Tempting Tools and the life of man is but as one Temptation continued from First to Last 'T is a life made up all of Temptation Man is ever under either Visible or Invisible Dangers He passeth through Perils in Perils often as Paul 2 Cor. 11.26 every moment untill he Reach to that Everlasting Rest in a Desired Haven Heb. 4.9 Revel 14.13 The Third Congruity is A Ship is not only made for Motion but for Swift Motion Hence Job phraseth it My days pass away as the Swift Ships Hebr. Ships of Ebeck which may be read Ships of desire whether they be Ships of Pleasure or Yatches which are Built Frigat-wise for Sayling Swiftly Or they be Ships of Pyracy as Mendoza reads it saying Naves Piraticae mercibus Vacuae quam velocissime Rapiuntur Plundering and Pilfering Privateers being empty of Burdens make the most speedy way in Plowing through the Waters especially when they have both Wind and Tide with them to promote their Progress Thus it is with poor mortal Man who is a rowling tumbling thing like a Ship hopping from Hill to Mountain and meeting with no Resting Place Jer. 50.6 He reels to and fro as if drunk like the Marriners in a tossed Ship Psal 107.26 27. Yea and many mens motions to Hell are as swift Ships making great haste thither Prov. 1.16 Isa 59.7 Rom. 3.15 mans life is swift of it self but it runs most swiftly when the wind of Temptation and the tide of Corruption concurr to carry it forward c. Oh would to God the motions of your minds made as much expedition towards Heaven as wicked men do towards Hell All men are Ships of Desire both good and bad All are Home-bound to one of those ports and never do the winds so much fill the Sails of such and such a Ship as Desires do fill the minds of the Mariners to be at such and such a Desired Haven 'T is true the worst of wicked men do not Desire Hell yet though they do not desire that end they have strong desires towards the way to that end how ought every gracious soul to pray for the fresh gales of Gods Spirit John 3.8 and to cry with the Spouse in the Song Awake O Northwind and come thou Southwind blow upon me c. Cant. 4.16 a Godly Person hath with Paul his Cupio Dissollvi a desire to be dissolved and to be with Christ Phil. 1.23 O how should we all with the penitent prodigal Hasten home to our Fathers House c. Luke 15.17 18 20. Heaven is our home 2 Cor. 5. from 1. to 7. 't is our Desired Haven Psal 107.30 even everlasting happiness Fourthly the Fourth paraphrase upon Jobs phrase that mans life is like a Ship followeth that as a Ship leaves no visible tract behind her so life passeth unto death and the memory of it is forgotten Solomon saith the way of a Ship in the midst of the Sea cannot be tracked Prov. 30.19 for though she make deep furrows in her passage all along ye● do they immediately close up again and the same Solomon saith of men yea of great men that carry a great figure in their place and be of a Ruffling grandeur in the world when once Dead the memory of them wears out of the mind Eccles. 8.10 and 9.5 Thus Aegypt forgat Joseph Exod. 1.18 and Israel Gideon Judg. 8.34 35. Yea men Friends and Familiars remember the dead no more Thus likewise some understand that phrase in Dan. 8.5 The he goat toucheth not the ground in this sence that it imports not only the speed and expedition of Alexanders prodigious conquests but also that in ā short time no man would know what was become either of that great conqueror or of any of his vast Conquests there would be no print of any their footsteps left behind they would no more be found than the way of a ship in the midst of the Sea Yet O how good it is to be a godly person for the Righteous shall be had in Everlasting Remembrance Psal 112.6 the memory of the just full be blessed Prov. 10.7 they shall be mentioned with much veneration after death even by those that spared not to Reproach them in their life their very name shall be honourable and acceptable to God and men whereas the name of the wicked rotteth and stinks above ground Prov. 10.7 Fifthly and lastly a Ship never rests till she come into her desired Heaven so mans life stays no where till it comes to its long rest and that is a blessed rest to those that dye in the Lord Revel 14.13 that fall asleep in Jesus 1 Thes 4.14 God takes a way their Souls out of their bodies as it were by a Kiss thus Rabins read that phrase Gnal pi Jehovah Deut. 34.5 at the mouth of the Lord Moses dyed not as we according to the words of the Lord As if God had taken away his Soul with a kiss of his mouth such a kiss of love as the Spouse prayed for from the mouth of Christ Cant 1.2 when this is done what follows after but rest from labours 1 from Labours of necessity 2 from labours of Infirmity and 3 from labours of Iniquity 1. They Rest from the first to wit the Necessary yet toilsom● Labours of this Life they take no more thought Propoter Victum Amictum what they
to take him then were my thoughts fixed upon Christ though they had been wandring two days before and I had lost my beloved yet nothing could give me peace till I here found Him and Sweet communion with Him wherein I heard him say to my Soul thy sins smal and great are pardoned and thy pardon is sealed I saw as it were his precious blood spurting out of his sides into my heart Oh my Soul ever for ever love this Lovely Lord admire and adore him who hath sealed thy pardon Never sin more but walk suitably to all this c. The Fourth Sacrament was November 6. 1681 whereof he saith thus I have longed for this ordinance because I had more than ordinary sins such as pride that I had long groaned under which made me long for the sprinkling of my Dear Redeemers blood to wash them away I was also pestered with passion as well as pride with unbelief with wandring thoughts and some times with Blasphemy O cursed cursed sin and O wicked wicked heart once to think whether God was or no when thou hast had such clear evidences of a Diety these were my five deadly odious sins which I begg'd might be purged from me O that I may never see nor feel them more At this Ordinance I found relief and feeling the Wine falling down lower and lower I desired it might carry of all my filth so as to leave none remaining and there did I resolve through grace to leave those five sins and never have any thing to do with them c. The Fifth Sacrament was December 4. 1681. wherein saith he I did again lay my sins before the Lord fearing their return upon me did desire a meek and humble heart against my pride and passion I did again resign my self to God having broken Covenant with Him and begging with the Syrophaenician Woman to touch the Hem of Christs garments that I might be cleansed from my issue of sin but could not at that instant get so nigh him but afterwards had I a clear representation of Christs sufferings in the Garden where he bore the wrath of God sweating drops of blood through his cloths in a cold season so that he came as from Bozra with died garments then I saw the crown of thorns upon his head and his head beaten with the Soldiers iron-gloves which made the thorns wound his Holy Head in 72. places so that the blood ran down upon his body I saw also the heavy weight of the cross laid upon Him and how he was spit upon reviled and derided this blessed sight prevented wandring thoughts till the last prayer though I did not deserve the least crumb of comfort for unpreparedness to so great a work which had God dealt out my desert would have been no less than Hell c. The Sixth Sacrament he did partake of was January the first 1681 2. upon which he makes these remarks I had been some days before more than ordinary in my preparation and prayer for a profitable receiving and when I came to it I was sore afraid that I should lay stress upon preparatory actings therfore begged I of God that he would not deal with me accordingly I laboured to act my requisite graces As 1. Repentance laying open before the Lord all my old year sins to that New-years day and laboured to mourn for them more than formerly especially for my deadly deadly sins Spiritual pride Passionateness Wandring Thoughts in Holy Duties unbeleif worldliness c. and I hope God gave there both pardon of them and power against them 2. My thankfulness I actuated as well as I could for so rich a mercy begging for it both hard and always 3. My love though I had much too little experiencing the sweet Kisses of Christs mouth and Embraces of his love I saw Christ on the Cross Embracing me as vvell as I him and saying to God I have paid a Ransom for him this man is he c. This was so sweet that I could embrace the stake or even go into hell so I might thus enjoy him whom my Soul loved and when I heard the Minister say mourn for your sins that murdred your Lord I answered within my self How can the Children of the Bride mourn while the Bridegroom is with them Twice did wandring thoughts offer themselves but were by grace suppressed at the first rising having now obliged my understanding will memory affections conscience yea all to attend Gods service While thus fill'd with this enjoyment I longed to be in Heaven and desired that welcom welcom friend death that I might sing with the Holy Saints and Angels Hallelujahs to to the Lord then said I O my Soul let nothing draw thy love from thy Lord For the World Friends Relations Pleasures Profits all things put together can never give such joy to thee as thou hast found from lovely lovely Jesus in this blessed ordinance therefore lay not out thy love upon any thing besides Him who hath done and is doing great things yea and will do greater for thee Such was my warming warming loves at this Supper The Seventh Sacrament was February the 3. 1681 2. Upon which he remarks thus when I found my heart not fully fixed by my New years Day Sacrament but notwithstanding all my striving I was yet troubled with distraction in duty I longed for this ordinance very much and thought it long till it came that accounts might be made even between God and my poor Soul I was dull for 2. or 3. Duties before and could not get my heart raised whereby I saw that I deserved nothing though wandring thoughts pressed upon me yet were they cut short 2 or 3 times I found relief from those sins I had laid open before the Lord in the foregoing Sacrament I bewailed my breaking covenant my distraction my deadness and coldness in duty c. And at this Sacrament my Dear Redeemer met me said to me I have pardoned those thy sins at thy request this much affected and inlivened me in love to him seeing him then as it were coming from Heaven to the Earth and from Earth to the Cross shedding his precious blood for me and from the Cross into Glory and methought Christ said to me go sin these your sins no more which obliged me to a close walking and to be more watchful than before all this month the Lord kept me from pride but alas my other sins returned to foil me The Eighth Sacrament was March 5. 1681 2. Upon this he saith thus I had more than ordinary communion with God before it and have not had a sweeter season for a long time which made me long till it came in this ordinance I saw my dear Redeemer as it were dead with a company of Holy Angels holding of Him and a great darkness over all the place this was grief to my Soul but presently he that was dead I saw him alive again and comming into the midst of us to see
what we came for I went to him and told him methought that my Soul loved him and I was come to meet him for strength against corruption and by his help I could forsake the world and sin which I hated to enjoy him c. then he told me my pride should not prevail against me this month nor my other sins but by own neglect This was sweet and refreshing to my Soul and this was the occasion of the Devils great rage against me as appears by my Diary March 14. yet could he not prevail but Christ kept his promise in keeping me from pride c. Oh what cause have I to love the Lord Jesus whom I saw here again coming from Heaven to Earth to the Cross to the Grave and to Heaven again and all this to save my Soul here sin was made more odious Christ more dear and here I renewed my Covenant with God c. The Ninth Sacrament was April the 2d 1682. upon which he says thus Some Time before this I was in a dull frame by the hurries of our Trade at this time as may be seen by my diary little life could I find till the noon before that day then had I the presence of my Dear Lord in a lively manner and measure after this wandring thoughts dulness and coldness unsuitable to so sweet a supper seized upon me but by running over again the same circumstances of my Saviours sufferings especially his Agony in the Garden and all for such a wretch as me I found relief got hatred of my sins begged pardon of them And not only so but got power against them yet wandring thoughts 4 or 5 times did trouble me but by Christs strengthening me I overcame them and hoped to have my pardon sealed and to have power for the future for watching better against them and against my deadness and breaking my Covenant c. which made me long to quit the World whereupon it was answered me I should shortly be freed from all sin yet in this Sacrament I had the least communion with God than in any before but still much more infinitely more than I deserved who sure I am deserves not the least mercy The Tenth Sacrament was May 7. 1682. upon which he writes thus I had not longing desires after this Blessed Ordinance having lost much of my life I had in duty before through much hurries of our worldly affairs This morning I wrestled with God but had not the light of his countenance which made me think of not going yet considering that was not the way to be better I ventured but found no life at first yet a little after I felt some reaching after my Dear Redemer this made me resolve to walk more closely for the future after this it pleased God to come in out of his free love and to give me a clear sight of my sweet Saviours going to his Cross and I following him and laying my self down at his feet when I could do nothing Then had I plain visions of my lovely Lords ascensions and his Angels looking upon him whereat I found much goings out of my Soul after him yet wandring thoughts did trouble me for I had not brought my breaking Covenant my Dulness and Deadness before the Lord so as to be deeply humbled for them The Eleventh Sacrament was June 4 1682. Vpon which he He remarks thus I having no time was very bad in my preparations for this blessed Sacrament so doubted whether I should go to it but fearing it might be the last I should injoy in peace I then went yet it prov'd the worst I ever yet had I hardly felt any movings of affections only a little mourning for my breach of Covenant my coldness and deadness c. Had a little sight of my Dearest Redeemer but O my misery for not keeping my ingagement made in the foregoing Ordinance whereby I feared the Holy Spirit was greived and sinned away O sad sad lamentable deplorable was my state when I had sinned my God from me My condition was wretched now and without more care it may yet be much worse The Twelfth Sacrament was on July 2d 1682. whereupon he notes thus I was but little in preparation in order to my participation of this Holy Ordinance yet much more than on the last on Fryday morning before I had much of Gods presence but because I had not taken a Catalogue of my sins and had broke my vows with God 't is just with him to hide his face from me and O my deadly sin got again too much advantage against me yet praised be the free Grace of my God I had his presence in this Ordinance and saw my Dear Redeemer going along bearing his heavy Cross and his suffering thereupon and when his side was pierced methought I stood under and his precious blood did drop down upon me but still I was too little grieved for sin and had 3. times wandrings which through Grace passed away as the Wine went down I desired my sins might be purged away and renewed my resolve of walking better both before and in this Sacrament designing to shelter my Soul in the holes of his blessed Side that was ●ierced as the Dove doth in the holes of the Rock The Thirteenth Sacrament was August 6. 1682. On which he records thus The hurries of the World had made menegligent before it yet did I try my self by my catalogue of sins drawn up in February before such as pride whereof I had a great deal breach of Covenant whereof I was greatly guilty Wandrings Dullness in Duty c. and then another great one the neglect of self tryal after my vows renewed Covenant to do it after Sacraments wherein I had found much sweetness I could not still call my self to a strict account nor actuate my repentance as becomes a worthy receiver though my sins were many and great At my first sitting down I had but little sense of sin but after God showed me something of himself then had I some sorrow of Soul and something of my dear Lord but once God seemed to come out in fury towards me yet methought I saw my Dear Redeemer stop it Here again I lay under the Cross to be washed from my sins and did see as before Christ coming from Heaven to Earth to hi● Cross and to his Grave and from thence into Glory this I viewed with a little oh too little life then the Devil tempted me to make no new engagement of reformation but the Lord helped me and I harkned not to the Tempter About 4. times wandrings came but through grace they continued not yet had I smal actings of love and out-goings of Soul after my God and my Dear Redeemer The Fourteenth Sacrament was September 3. 1682. On which he observes thus I had but little of God some time before this till Saturday night Though I had been much in preparation yet my God came not in till then and indeed I
saw much sin in my best services so begged God would not deal with me as I deserved which would have been hell and destruction But comming to partake I had great hopes of his presence so soon as I had pleaded with God my last years ingagement then found I some revivings and hearing the two great points of the Covenant that God would be our God we should be his people opened then did I resign up my self to God with a more than ordinary resignation My end in coming to this Ordinance was to ge● the partition wall betwixt me my God cast down which I hope was attained my Pride and other sins were pardoned provided I did not run into them again I clove close to Christ and would not let him go without his blessing which my dear Redeemer gave me though Satan presented many things to prevent me thereof The Lord said here to me I will he thy God and my Soul said I do ingage to he one of thy People leaving all that comes in competition with my sweet Saviour c. The Fifteenth Sacrament was October 5. 1682. he begins thus Blessing Praise and Honour be ascribed unto my God and Redeemer who hath neither forgotten nor forsaken me though I did deserve it and Gods wrath too for my manifold sins whereof murmuring in some measure I am afraid is one seeking praise among men is another Though sense of sin had too little been upon my heart this last month yet now was it more than usual but less than my sins required I pleaded with God that he commanded me to believe to this I had great comfort returned and after much strugling the Lord assured me my sins were pardoned then had I such representations of my Redeemer as I had oft before when Gods justice impleaded me for my sins my sweet Saviour did then answer I have dyed and satisfied for him at this the Devil envyed telling me all this was but a fable and would have diverted me but by grace I overcame him O how am I obliged to love God who hath given me smiles when I deserved nothing but frowns shall not I be more careful to please him and more fearful to offend him He ends as he began Blessing Praise and Honour be to my God and my Redeemer for ever c. The Sixteenth Sacrament was November 5. 1682. on which he said thus I have broke my covenant with God for the last month by falling into these sins I ingaged and resolved against before dulness in duty and distraction returned upon me having not striven so much against them as I should and having little communion with God my deadly sin prevailed wherefore nothing but fearful looking for of judgment was before me being remiss in my preparations yet God dealt not with me according to my deserts for then had I been set up as a monument of Divine Displeasure among men But before I sat down I strove to raise my repentance yet could not mourn as my case required I pleaded Gods promise that his Son was sent to save such as I am c. I ran over Christs sufferings in my mind particularly and seated my Soul at the feet of my bleeding Saviour on the Cross that his precious blood might cleanse away all my loads of sins I did justify God in all his dealing with me and his withdrawments from me then did I receive Christ as my King resolving to forsake all for him and to follow him through all some wandrings troubled me in Christs Wine-cellar but were soon cut off c. As to the Sacrament in December he acknowledges his Omission of it by his own Negligence and Folly The Seventeenth Sacrament was on January 7. 1681 3. where he writes thus I did endeavour to prepare yet but alittle for this great Ordinance and could not for a long time get my affections inflamed as formerly with love to the Lord Jesus however I cast my sins at his feet to be washed away that the difference might be taken up and God might reconciled to my poor Soul again which blessed be the Lord was hopefully accomplished I did bewail my fearfull breaking covenant the return of my multitude of sins especially my deadly sin pride I again viewed over distinctly the sufferings of Christ how he was scourged c. and all for poor me this set me upon mourning but I could not shed tears yet complained of the hardness of my heart and begg'd that Christs Precious Blood might both soften and cleanse it then me thought I saw Christ upon the Cross stooping to me and giving me his hand when he saw I could not get up my heart to him Hereupon I clasped about my Dear Redeemer who had reconciled God to me then I resolved in his strength never to fin in the like manner any more and was angry with my self for dealing so unkindly with so kind a Father who had rather a sinner should repent than dye God was loving to me who could look for nothing but fury in the highest measure for my back-slidings my heart would have wandred but by Gods goodness those wandrings were taken short I here solemnly engaged to walk more closely with God for the future all my says which if I did not O how great will be my sin how vast will be my unworthiness beyond what my Tongue can express Upon the whole As our Lord said of the Good Centurion I have not found so great faith no not in all Israel so ●m I like to say of this gracious Young-Man I have not found such savoury Soul-experiences on record ●o not in all England This will further more fully appear by the sequel in his Exercises Self Examinations and Evidences CHAP. III. AFter his Experiences come in the second place his Exercises which are twofold first concerning ●iety secondly concerning impiety both before his effectual vocation and after it Those before he took with his own hand these memorials following 1. About the year 1671. having read Jehosephats life I was a little startled and grew melancholick that was the first time I had a mind to pray and desired another to joyn with me in it but he told me that he could not pray without help of some form no more I said can I but used a form in a spelling book which I prayed often but very negligently then going to Epson where I had a good master who prayed morning and evening with his family and religiously instructed us which did bring me to pray without a form yet could not d● it with seriousness tho' I was exhorted to it both by my master and by 〈◊〉 minister that came oft thither 〈◊〉 this place I began to be willing to hea● the Word though I little minde● what I heard till I read the Pilgrims Progress which made me again grow melancholick the former being worn off to the observation of others then the good providence of God brought to my hands Mr. Baxters Call
to the unconverted which through grace shewed me the necessity of my conversion yet all this time never consulted with any man about my sins but only confessed them to God till I met with Mr. Hookers Soul preparation for Christ which convinced me to advise with some Godly minister hereupon I did address to one though a stranger to him saying Sir I cannot I dare not any longer refrain having ask'd my self what fitness I had to dye was answered I was unfit till I had eas'd my heart to you as followeth 1. When I was 7. years old I tore my Bible and cast away my Catechism 2. I have broke the Sabbath by rambling abroad playing at farthings with naughty boys and washing my self in the fields when I should have been at the Church c. 3. By excusing my sins with a lye so added one sin to another for covering it 4. Nor have I been free from Youthful Lusts which young Timothy was bid to flee but my corrupt Heart hath had workings after the Act several times yet hath been wonderfully prevented by the advice of my Godly Sister who laid before me Christs words Mat. 5.28 whoever looks on a woman to lust after her c. however I am guilty of Heart-Adultry yea 5. I have erred and laughed when I have heard the word preached with power c. Hereupon the Good Minister gave me grave council and comfort suitable to my penitent case and condition yet notwithstaning all this I was not effectually called nor througly converted and made a new creature until afterwards I heard that Sermon upon Mat. 5.25 26. as the account above mentioned specifieth But alas in my Apprentiship through the hurries of the World in our way of trading especially in May and June c. I became negligent of my close walking with God not minding as I might to continue in his love when God my adversary was reconciled to me I neglected Dayly Self-examination or did it only to halfe part being dull and sleepy through weariness with worldly work at night then my old corruptions got head again upon me I broke my Covenant made at the agreement with my adversary and I Apostatized from these sweet thoughts I formerly had upon my God and Dear Redeemer for which had he not been gracious I had been damned and rotting in Hell for ever This consideration made me exclaim against my self saying O silly Soul to heed a perishing dying world before Heaven such sadness and darkness seized on me at this time when the things of the world I found had been the substance of my thoughts and discourse that I knew not what to do nor whither to go at last I turned to the Lord and begged of him that he would not take the forfeiture nor suffer me to run this ready way to utter destruction I cryed Lord 't is just with thee to hurle mein to hell and into the hottest place thereof and never wait longer upon such a cumber-ground as I am but to thee my Dear Redeemer do I run for refuge as one that am hungry and hardly bestead poor blind naked wretched and miserable a loathsom wretch unworthy to be called a servant much less a Son having so wickedly departed from my God yet through thee will I venter again to my God and by thy strength I will better mind my future walkings O my dearest Redeemer I die without thee O come in once again and let me feel once more what it is to have Christ dwelling in my Soul O find a time of love wherein to disperse those dark clouds and shine upon my Dead and Darkned Soul O hath my night no day 't is an hell to me to be thrust away from God I know the cause is all at home my sin my sin O let it be done away then should I recover the light of thy countenance as formerly and in so doing I do ingage to amend my manners depending on thy help my hand is witness John Draper now to bind his Soul and Slippery heart to God the better in observing this new ingagement he wrote down many profitable rules in his pocket book As 1. In a day of humiliation I must lay all my sins before the Lord and resolve to forsake them 2. I must look upon my sin of Passion as a feaver in my mind of Lust as fire in my bones of Pride as a fatal tympany in my Soul of covetousness as an insatiable and unsufferable thirst and the sin of Envy or Malice as rank poyson in the heart 3. If I would run so as to obtain I must cast off all those weights or sins that do so easily beset me 4. I must resolve to begin betimes the running of this race 5. Nor must I loyter in the way 6. Nor must I cumber my self with the needless incumbrances of the World 7. I must look to every part of my way with equal care and observation 8. Nor must I ever think I have gone far enough till I have obtained the prize 9. And the further I have run in this race the more eager should be to obtain the end 10. I must alway think that I am upon the brink of eternity and therefore should give all diligence to make my calling and election sure working out my Salvation and making sure work for a better world before I go hence to be seen no more 11. I must ever come to God as to a Soul-pittying a Sin-pardoning and a Prayer-hearing God 12. I must be fervent in prayer yet submit to Gods Soveraign●y 13. Occasions of being too ●ong alone are to be avoided so ●s Strong Drink and too full a Dyet 14. I must be thinking oft Death Judgment Hell and Hea●en those four last things 15. I must not stretch my Christian liberty too far for he that dare go so far as he thinks he may goes sometime farther than he should c. 16. I must bridle my Tongue and not be too apt to speak of things whereof I am not certain And much more to the same purpose both for particular and general instruction too long to insert here This Holy Young-Man put down in his pocket book also how he had been Exercised with Temptations to Sin as to Theft Adultry Playing at Cards and prophaning the Sabbath c. as also with tryals to prevent temptations instancing that in a lash upon his eye with a Coach-whip whereby the Lord healed him of hie lustful Eye which had been too ful of Adultry 2. Pet. 2.14 CHAP. IV. NOw come we to the Third Head his Examinations of himself in the workings of his heart relating to his Communion with God It was not enough to this good Soul to examine himself only when he was approaching to the Lords Table on the Lords Day as is before specified but he look'd upon it as his duty to do it every day both every Sabbath-day when there was no Sacrament and every week day also making it his continual daily
in duty 17th had like to have fallen into passion but God disappointed it yet not much in Holy Ejaculations c. eighteenth not up early had my former omissions and commissions the ninteenth twentyeth and twenty first yea to the end of April he arraigns himself as guilty of all those aforesaid Crimes then May 1 2 3 4 5 6. Complains of all those evils adding that hurreys of his trade at this time did provoke him more to passion but sometime God helped him to subdue it c. the 7. being Sabbath Day sin set too light did not mourn for the sins of the land not enough in holy ejaculations nor in looking into my own heart nor seriously minding the Word of God 8 9 10 11 12 13. the same little life much dullness being wearyed with the hurries of the World 14 frothy discourse with some delight O sin sin lay too light both mine own and the lands sin 15 16 17 18 19. the same Complaint 20. neglecting to read Gods Word 21 22 23. so on to the end of May he cryes out I have done nothing for my self nor the Church I have not been my self hardly knowing what I did through the hurryes of the World O the World the World is a sa● impediment to my Soul God hath not been in my mind Heaven out of my sight I have not mourned for my own sins nor those of the land nor had holy ejaculations c. thus he saith particularly upon every day adding thus I continued till the fourth of June being always wearyed with work and unfit for any good O it hath been a sad time for my Soul thus likewise I neglected till the 17 of June on which I renewed my covenant with God yet 18 19. the same neglects prevailed only on the 20. I had some holy Ejaculations but 21 22. the same and 23. I prayed not over the Sermon as I should have done and omitted all as before 24 still pestred with former neglects O sad sad that I should be thus carryed under Grace thus he moans on 25 26. and so on to the end of June on every day I have done little for the Church or for my Soul have not read Gods word sin sits too light not mourn'd for my own sin nor for the sins of the land Heaven hath been out of sight and God out of mind too little have I been in holy ejaculations with wandrings not oft looking into my own heart c. July 1682. from 1 to 10. he complains particularly upon each Day in the same word 's too much wandrings in Holy Duties too little sense of sin upon my heart I have not mourned enough for my own sins nor for the sins of the Land not much in ejaculations Heaven too much out of sight c. sometimes adding I neglected reading Gods Word have done little for Gods Church have not minded my Soul nor Gods praise c. Then concludes these ten days with this divine rapture O this deadly thing sin hath not duely affected my heart into what a sad state is my Soul fallen O my God I beseech thee leave me not This same complaint concerning those several omissions he carryeth on against himself quite through July to the last day August 1682. He makes the same moans of the same neglects all along the month upon the head of every day of the four weeks distinctly yet sometimes adding God helped me on the 2 of August against my deadly sin on the 6 day being the Sabbath I was less troubled with wandrings than I was the day after on the 8 day I arose from Supper without dropping any savory word at the Table on the 11. God kept me much from my sin this day On the 13. I had much of God in my night prayer though the Devil told me I had not begged Gods presence My dear Lord helped me to repulse him with ease On the 16 out of order all the day but at night God shone upon my Soul more than a long time before but lost all the two following days being hurryed with casting up our shop going backward not forward On 19. I felt my deadly sin crawl apace towards my heart which put me upon examination the 20. day and found it not in vain to cast my burden upon the Lord for I had thereby relief against my Pride c. for which I have cryed mightily to the Lord my God after which I had sweet communion with God then the Tempter strongly tempted me to neglect hearing and reading the Word but putting up an ejaculation I had strength to overcome him again after hearing a Sermon I went down into the Cellar to pray where the Devil would affright me that something would appear which through the help of my Dear Redeemer I stoutly resisted and bid Satan defiance then he objected against me my deadly sin which I could not but own yet could he not make me think so long upon it as to distract me in duty which was the Devils design but Osubtil Serpent my Lords goodness strengthned me to triumph over thee and I had a comfortable season upon the 21 of August 1682. all my old neglects prevailed and wandrings in my night prayer but God heard my ejaculation I got up early in the morning which sweet way I had much neglected through weariness with worldly work to pray wherein I found much of God O my Soul love that lovely lovely one thy Lord who hath heard thee hath done is doing great things for thee and will do greater On the 26. I neglected reading the Word been too much about Worldly affairs which took me off from God and I lost my time in Duty nor could I get up my thoughts to my God in my hurryes yet on the Saturday following I recovered a blessed frame O my Soul love and praise the Lord for ever September the 2. I was at a fast for the fire of London where I was not free of my aforesaid omissions yet waiting there all the day at length had the sweet presence of God On the 4. I had Heaven in my sight and but little troubled with wandrings yet too little looked I into my own heart I sat up late for Duty and God made it sweet to me On the seventh he makes his old moan against himself saying I feat my own self righteousness the 10. God discovered my deadly sin which caused his withdrawment from me and that wishing to die to avoid misery by God withdrawings is but a pang of passion The 15. old wandrings c. returned I think my murmuring was the cause I first read Isa 65.22 23 24. from whence upon my ejaculation God spake comfort to me so had after delight in duty The 19 God discovered another sin my seeking the praises of men that darkned his face from me The 23. but little sensible how I had grieved away Gods good Spirit in morning prayer The 25. had little sense of Gods putting a vail
c. Tenthly So observant was he 〈◊〉 all the workings of his own heart that he sets down how that when he was praying once in the dark Cellar without any light the Tempter possessed him with fears that something would appear to affright him but God graciously stepped in and said to him fear not thou Son of Abraham c. Gen. 15.1 Eleventhly He records the very Days wherein he missed his taking an account of his own daily task of self examination and when he omitted the scattering of some savory discourse becoming table-talk at meat-times Twelfthly He computes the very times First When mourning for sin was made sweet to his Soul Second When he enjoyed Gods presence in prayer both by himself and with others Third How often God came to him when disturbed in Duty or disappointed of it being constrained thereby sometimes to pour out his heart to God in the shop by day and upon his bed by Night in both which places he had sweet warmings of Spirit Fourthly How oft he made resignation of his Soul to God which was very frequent as also how oft he renewed his Covenant with God especially upon Sacrament Days which are the most Material Remarks whereof I would not omit one out of choice I could collect out of the many sheets I had to peruse in my oft reading them over And had not the same matter so oft upon distinct occasion repeated been reduced by this method to those few several Heads this tract might have swollen into a volume CHAP. V. THE last subject of this Discourse is twofold First The Evidences He had for Heaven Second The Characters that were given him by gracious and judicious witnessings of others As to the First I find several Evidences writ with his own hand and which gave sweet encouragement to his Soul that he was a chosen vessel of mercy and one to be filled as with Grace Here so with Glory Hereafter First I know my Repentance saith he because my sense under sin as a burden is heavier to my Soul than all my afflictions are to my Body I am ashamed of my secret sins which no man seeth or knoweth before the Lord who seeth and knoweth them and all other things and I desire to leave my darling sin and to leave all love to it yea to loath it through my love I bear to my Lord and Dear Redeemer whom I account dearer to me than any sin yea than all the World c. Secondly I know saith he that to have true faith by Christ is more precious to me than all things in the World I am willing to receive him into my heart as my Lord and King to Rule me and my Faith works by Love so that I am grieved for his absence and rejoyce at his presence and I am willing to part with all for him that he may be my all and in all Thirdly I find a delight to do Gods Will sometimes in praying to him sometimes in praising of him sometimes in hearing from him and sometimes in meditating upon him and upon that Work of mans Redemption Fourthly I feel my heart mourning most for that sin which most disturbeth my peace and most separateth betwixt God and my Soul and longing most for that mercy that will do me most good in a dying hour to wit not general but special mercy even mercy in Christ Fifthly I can say that I love the Lord for I hate that which grieves him and that because it grieves him and I love those that are most like him yea the places and duties wherein I have found the Lord warming my heart and cannot be content without him in any Sixthly I can say I have a principle of life spiritual for I find hungrings and thirstings after an enjoyment of Christ and find my Soul grieved when he is dishonoured either by my self or by others and I love long and look for his last appearing and coming Seventhly I highly value the Gospel that Word of Christ and Truth which bringeth good tidings even Reconciliation and the Dispensation of the Grace of God which hath been hid some Thousand of Years and now is forfeited yet graciously continued to us though withdrawn from many Nations I am thankful for it labour to live like it and to adorn it with my life daily Eightly I know that matters are agreed with God so that he is now no adversary because I find an oneness with him 1. In mind which is made correspondent with the mind of God by this agreement I can think the reproaches of Christ to be greater riches than the Treasures of Aegrpt Heb. 11.26 2. Oneness of Will I can say whether for life or Death the will of the Lord be done Acts. 21.14 Though there hath been much ado to bring my will into an agreement with God and when I find not sometimes an actual agreement yet have I always an habitual agreement of my will with the will of God 3. Oneness of Affection I love what God loves and hate what God hates Psal 119.70 Jer. 44.4 I hate sin which God hates so I love holiness which God loves 4. Oneness of way Can two walk together unless they be agreed Amos 3.3 Psal 119.30 and 25 5. and Isa 56.4 5. 5. Oneness of interest Gods Interest is mine and my interest is Gods I can say in the Witnessings of the Holy Ghost Rom. 9.1 that there is this five-fold Oneness betwixt God and me so are agreed The Ninth Evidence for his Interest in Heaven was his Holy Jealousy over his own heart in all his holy undertakings ever fearing that some by respect and not Gods glory was the motive that led him to holy duties this he oft prayed against and particularly cautions a gracious Young-Man with whom he had agreed to carry on a Christian Correspondency either in absence by Letter or in presence by Conference that herein they did not bring hurt instead of good to themselves by seeking our selves and not him whose we are c. We are not our own but Christs who pay'd dear for us far more than we are worth and we have covenanted to glorify him not our selves c. this Holy Jealousy is a blessed frame of Spirit Tenthly His prizing an Union and Communion with God above the Confluence of all worldly comforts This point he in another letter to the Young-Man aforesaid when in the Country by sickness much insists upon saying while we enjoy Gods presence we have the Hidden Manna and that joy which strangers to God intermeddle not not with all is nothing and worse than nothing without it 't is Heaven upon Earth and 't is Heaven in the way to Heaven thus David reckon'd One Day with God better than a thousand without him c. Eleventhly O What carefulness do I find in all his Manuscripts as well as in his letters expressed to keep his accounts even betwixt God and his Soul that right reckoning might keep them long friends in his
I have learnt no more from so eminent a Patern of Piety through hopes of enjoying him longer and oftner This made me neglect observing and remembring many sweet expressions which now I wish I had not done c. The Third and most Perfect Character I have from his own Gracious Sister who writes thus of him My Dear Brother Mr. John Draper was born March 26.1663 of Godly Parents though he was much bereaved of the benefit of their Education of him they dying before he was 12. Years old yet had they done their duty for him till then putting up many earnest prayers to God in his behalf which the Lord graciously answered in taking care of the fatherless after in the Year 1675. he was put to a School-Master who was as careful for his Soul as for his Body c. In the Year 1678. He became an apprentice where he served his Master faithfully being effectually called in the first Year of his time and then reflecting upon himself for his former mispending of time and neglecting seasons of grace He now begins to make a better improvement of the Assemblies Catechism which he had got by heart before he was 11. Year old at home and the Sermons he had writ abroad at School now became he more sweet to us all I never saw him out of an Heavenly frame but if he was not hearing something of God he would be speaking something from God if at any time we desired him to stay with us he would answer my time is not my own I must not neglect my Masters business much less Gods to whom I must give an account of all my Thoutghs Words and deeds I have much Work to do and but little time to do it in this should aw our hearts from sin and make us earnest for pardoning preventing mercy O what need we have to stir up one another in ways of Godliness for Heart-work is hard work and we love the World more than God He would oft bewail with tears to behold how the Youth generally prophaned the name of God and were unwearied in doing the Devils drudgery whereas we call'd Christians are soon weary with doing our Masters will whose Yoke is easy and his Burden light adding 't is free grace that makes the difference betwixt us and those Vain Youths He expressed his fear of setting up for himself often observing how many were Zealous while Apprentices yet declined when became Masters who being asked why they had lost their first love answered it was for want of time to which he replyed it was more for want of love than of time this he feared might be his own case if God prevented it not Being asked if he were willing to suffer for God he answered if God call me to it he will quallifie me for it but he thought God would not put that honour upon him The time that others take for recreation he spent in holy Duties and the money others spend idelly he laid out either profitably or charitably His sickness began Jan. 23. 1682. which he bore with wonderful patience all along Ever desiring God would compleat his work in and upon him O how would he bless God that it fared well with his Soul how ever it fared with his Body and that God was never wanting to us when we are not wanting to our selves though some blamed him for being too bookish during his weakness he answered should reading impair my health I am sure it refreshes my Soul and I wish you all to prize Communion with God and to make your peace with God before the night come had I now that work to do I might expect frowns where through my Dear Redemer I have smiles upon me which I cannot express When in the greatest extremity He would say what is all this to that which Christ suffered for me crying out O the gentleness of God to me compared with Crhists sorrows calling to hear the 14 15 16 and 17. Chapters of John read to him when weakest he would lay smiling with his eyes and his hands lift up to Heaven and a few days before he dyed he said thus to me Sister I know you wish me well I cannot be well here therefore be willing to let me go 't is not long since God made you willing to leave me in a troublesome World and now will not you be willing to give me up to God if a tast of Heaven be so sweet here what is the full injoyment let me go first 't is but a little time and we shall meet again c. I have forborn to mention my death to the loss of my self and others because your spirit cannot bear it O how am I comforted in the stock of prayers going for me when I cannot now pray for my self especially that Christ is interceding for me in Heaven After this his speech was scarce intelligible yet understood he said Lord thou knowest what I have done and what I have left undone oft over and all night spake with such earnestness as thinking he was understood the next morning friends perswaded me to withdraw as being no more useful to him but hurtfull to my self and if he became more sensible it would grieve him to see me grieve But after some hours absence returning to him he took me by the hand to comfort me saying with Arms spread my God hath chained up Satan which was an answer to that very request put up for him a little before Thus when death That King of terrours and terrour of Kings was unstung he submitted to its stroke and changed his life for a better Aug. 3. 1682. He appointed the Text for his funeral Sermon to be Gen. 47.9 as is related before in the time of his Health yet finding the sentence of Death upon himself c. He was born 1663. began his last sickness on Jan. 23. and dyed when August was but 3. days old Thus This Blessed Soul passed from Three to Three Handed by Three in one the Trinity From Womb to Tomb. Three threes compleats his race Turns all his griefs to everlasting Peace The Next Character is that of a Minister who writes thus to him in his last sickness c. Shall I be sorry to hear of your sickness I am as it is an evil to Nature but I rejoyce in hope that it will increase your Grace not doubting but to such a serious Christian and Religious person as you have been this Affliction will be the taking away of sin and this rod with Aarons will blossom with the Peaceable fruits of Righteousness your great knowledge in the mystery of Salvation and eminent proficiency in the School of Christ may well put a Supersedeas to any instructions from me yet give me leave as a faithful Monitor to mind you of your duty of Patience that you may be as eminent in that Grace in the time of your sickness as you were in other Graces in the time of your health I know 't
is impossible for Nature to endure without murmuring the loss of such a mercy as health but Grace can weigh these Considerations First Consider who is the Author of your affliction it springs not out of die dust nor comes by chance but 't is my Fathers hand that appoints the time place measure and manner so must not murmur Second Consider though you be a Son of God yet your sin has deserved Hell and thither had you been cast had not your Dear Redeemer dyed for you But seeing you are Delivered from wrath to come and this is all your Hell you are like to have to wit this present chastisement therefore you may not murmur c. Third Consider God never Afflicts willingly but when need is and for gracious ends to subdue sin and to strengthen Grace to wean from the World and to make Heaven more desirable c. his bowels still yearning while his rod is on our backs if this be so should you not be patient Fourth Meditate much on the joys of Heaven and the happy rest there prepared for you which transcends our apprehensions while we tabernacle in houses of clay O the Rivers of pleasure the Mansions of bliss the Regions of happiness the Crowns of life the scepters of power the Robes of Glory and the thrones of honour that are there prepared for the Lambs followers no sinning is there to provoke God no suffering to molest us no weeping eyes sighing breasts or complaining tongues are found there No crying there O my Head my Head and O my bowels be pained c. But all rest in the arms of love and in the Bosom of Christ O happy Souls that are now got thither and since you will shortly be there should you not be submissive to and rejoyce in the will of God That he give you both an Happy and a Comfortable departure out of time into eternity is the prayer of c. The last Character is that of mine own from my own personal knowledg of him which though it was not so much as was that of many others who were more conversant with him yet was enough to give me a prospect of his almost unparallel'd piety I never conversed with a more mortifyed Young-Man from youthful vanitys so serious in his deportments so savoury in his discourses with so grave an aspect and and so composed a countenance as I seldom law in this our English Israel He had so faithfully followed these following rules First Let not God find me in my bed when he looks for me on my knees Second Nor wandring thoughts eat out the life of my Duty Third Nor be slight in reading Gods Word or hearing it preached which I should digest in my heart and repeat in my life Fourth I must redeem time Fifth Deny my self Sixth Do more than others Seventh Be careful of my company Eighth Leave the Savour of Grace behind me in all companies Ninth Be Holy in all my relations as a servant c. Tenth No sin must sit light Eleventh Nor may I live in that which I know or fear to be a sin Twelfth 'T is my duty to mourn for sin my own and others Thirteenth To be much in Holy Ejaculations having God oft in my mind and Heaven oft in my sight Fourteenth To be oft looking into my own heart Fifteenth To resist the first risings of sin Sixteenth To bridle my tongue Seventeenth To feed in Gods fear at my meal times Eighteenth To do all my secular and sacred affairs for Gods glory the good of others as well as my self c. That he familliarizing his Soul with these and the like helps and duely and daily weighing himself in the ballance of the Sanctuary soon became a None such in Christian attainments so that the way of this Godly-wise Young-Man was above as Prov. 15.24 Raising the feet of his Soul to walk in a higher Region and above the heads of most other young-men Sure I am his Conversasion was in Heaven as Phil. 3.20 while his commoration was on Earth the Rabbins say that Cain's sin was not dividing aright for God for which fault they suppose God brought that brand of going about eversighing and trembling c. but I may without vanity affirm that if any young man learned to divide aright betwixt his General and particular calling this Holy Young-man did who seldom or never would suffer them to justle out one the other As he would not give his Masters-time to Gods worship so nor Gods time to his Masters service I wish all apprentices would learn to write after so fair a copy and to dress themselves by so lovely a looking-glass I know also how the Spirit of God rested upon him in most eminent actings and emanations and I stand admiring not only at his most Evangelical Experiences Exercises Examinations and Evidences above mentioned but also at his most sensible and savoury letters not only writ with his own Mortal hand but with a most Gracious Heart In one of which I find how he obliged his Correspondent a Godly Young man to Holiness with these arguments First We have covenanted not to allow our selves in any known sin but to use all means for the death and destruction thereof Second To forsake all that is dear to us in this world rather than forsake God and his Gospel Third To watch over our own hearts against the temptations both of prosperity and adversity least we be drawn from God Fourth To take the Laws of God for the rule of our thoughts words and actions squaring our whole life thereby Fifth To neglect nothing we know to be our duty Sixth To resign up our selves to God and avouch him for our Lord. Seventh To own Jehovah as our portion promising to serve him all our days Eight To improve Christ as he is the new and living way for access to the Father Ninth To be marryed to Christ accepting him for our Head and Husband in all states and times taking our lot as it falls though sufferings and death do accrue we must renounce our own will and wisdom c. In another I find the Saints pedigree First What Christ is to us He is Our Lord 1. Cor. 1 2. Our Friend Cant. 5.16 Our flesh and blood Heb. 2.14 Our Brother Ver. 17. Our Father Isa 63.16 Our Husband Rom. 7.4 what we are to Christ His Servants Rom. 6.22 His Friends John 15.14 His Kinsmen Mark 3.21.35 His Brethren John 7.3 His Sons Gal. 3.26 His Spouse Sister Love and Dove Cant. 4.9 The Church is one Vine John 15. 1. One Seed Gal. 3.16 One Temple Eph. 2.16 One Body Rom. 12.5 One Spirit 1. Cor. 6.16 and one Christ 1. Cor. 12.12 and upon the survey of this Pedigree he Cryeth out Lord what is man thou art thus mindful of him making him in some respects Higher than Angels Thou hast crowned him with Glory and Honour c. Psal 8. In another letter to his elder Sister writ about three a clock in
the morning he gives an high encomium of Godliness to strengthen her in love to the good ways of God saying 't is the great work we have to mind in this lower World therefore need we to meet helps to forward one another therein 't is not a small thing or a by-business to be forgotten c. 't is the best riches that cannot be taken from us as there are all good things in it so there is no danger to loose it yet find I a proneness to be triffling and tampering with transitory vanities while the true riches are neglected O this Heart-work is Hard-work and the way to Heaven is up the hill but our Captain if we follow him close will make it easy helping us to hold on and to hold out to the end not only as living but also as lively Christians not loitering in the way of sin but lustily running our race seating our selves under Gods eye All lower persons and things be changeable Relations may be our friends to Day and they may be dead to morrow or they may live yet their love may die and our delights to day may be our sorrow and our horror to morrow c. but still in Godliness we have an unchangable God our thoughts of this must be bellows to blow up the flame of our desires and the spur to our dull affections In another Letter to his younger Sister which came also to my hand O what a travelling spirit was upon him that Christ may beformed in her saying to her My hearts desire and prayer 〈◊〉 that you may be saved con●●der your sad estate by nature you are a slave of Satan a stranger to God and if you dye in that estate you are undone for ever O that you may see in this your day the things that belong to your everlasting peace least they be for ever hid from your eyes For judgment will certainly find you where death doth leave you if you die in an unregenerate slate you will be banished from the presence of God and an eternity of horror and terrour is to be endured c. But if you make your calling and election sure then may you expect nay you will have everlasting bliss O think much on these things you have now time to make your peace put it not off if you love your Soul no not till to morrow as too many young persons do thinking it soon enough yet and yet but know you may be dead before the morrow pray therefore for conve●●ing Grace and for power to cast off sin especially that which lays nearest your heart for if the heart-sin be loved better than Christ 't will undo you for ever let but your Lord have your chiefest love and you will soon find more pleasure in ways of holiness than in all the ways of sin In another letter to his kinswoman I find him very warm in his exhortations saying Now is the time of stirring up one another to prepare for approaching evils seeing the Cloud thickens and looks black over our head we have need to have our rock ready to fly to and to have our evidences for Heaven cleared to have our loins girt and our lamps burning and to sit loose from those lower things that seem now to be leaving us O that sweet word Draw nigh to God and he will draw nigh to us for the end of this dispensation is to drive u● further off from sin and nearer God And O sweet word In the world ye shall have tribulation but in Christ peace who would not travel through a world of trouble to find that peace in Christ This kinswoman was so touched with his lines that she cast in this character of him after his death saying God took him from me because I was unworthy of him he told me 't was better to want time than to want an heart for doing good he cryed oft hearing the clock strike O Time Time I am so much nearer eternity and O the Love of Christ that purchased an eternity of weal for me is there any Love like Christs c. In another I find these short rules comprized in Verse very useful to him when time would not permit him to make any use of larger helps Let not soft sleep thy weary eyes invade Before the same confine with the nights shade Thy thoughts retire and make it their last task Of the days deeds three questions thus to ask Wherein Have I transgressed this day what good deed have I wrought And what have I forborn to do which to have done I ought Or Thus. What have I done amiss this day What well What Good have I omitted Conscience tell This Distich as his who sent him them intimates comprehends all our thoughts words and deeds and by pondering and improving them duely and daily they both reaped great ●●nifit c. In another I find that the method of correspodency betwixt his Friend a gracious young man and himself was carryed on by a communication of Experiences or practical and profitable discourses upon the joys of Heaven the love of God in Christ the second coming of our Lord the evil of sin c. As to the first of those points the joys of Heaven their intercourse maketh this mention The Glory which we ought to have our Faith fixed on for our comfort is called in Scripture comparisons A Crown of life of Righteousness and of Glory an incorruptible inheritance a rest for the People of God the recompence of reward an House not made with hands an excellent place which the eye hath not seen c. The City of the Living God the Heavenly Jerusalem the Holy kingdom the Blessed hope and end of our holy race the City whose builder and maker is God the house not made with hands the heavenly Country the strait Gate c. The contemplation of all these divne comparisons afforded strong consolation to Both their Souls c. No less comfortable was their interchange of communion about the other point of Christs second coming which is likewise called in Scripture a Day of consolation and of corronation an harvest day a marriage day and a day of admiration wherein Christ will be admired of all his Saints at his Glorious appearance though now we be dispised by the world as our dear Redeemer himself was yet this is our joy our redemption day draweth nigh c. In another letter he hath this passage I suppose to some Minister saying Sir though I be a stranger to you yet cannot nay dare not ho●● any longer from speaking to you for asking my own heart whether I were fit to dye it was answered that could not be till accounts were cleared concerning the sins I groaned under between God and my Soul about this Sir my present address is for your profitable advice Therefore I beseech you search me throughly to the very inwards of my heart c. Many more such savoury lines all seasoned with the salt of sincerity and sanctity I might add out of several other of his Letters which must be omitted to avoid prolixity To Conclude upon the View of the whole I must only add this though we have not his picture drawnin paint by some skilful limner for refreshing the memory of Relations and to prefix before this Book yet it is limned to the life in black and white both by private Christians and publick Ministers He was without flattery a mirror of piety especially in making so strict a scrutiny over all his own steps and taking so serious a prospect over all his own works both upon Sabbath days and upon every week-day between them that He might keep his heart with all diligence Prov. 4.23 O how exact was he in Self-Examination as well in civil and secular as in sacred affairs I have been young and now am old yet never in all my acquaintance found I so much faithful Self-tryal which is indeed a most necessary but alas a much neglected duty and I am confident most Christians are at a great lost in their inner man by the omission hereof as to my own part I am utterly ashamed to behold my self now an old Minister of Forty Ye●rs standing in the Ministry so far out stripped by so Young a Man not attaining the third part of my age and so private a Christian as an Apprentice would to God we could all young and old Ministers and People imitate this Pattern of piety calling our faithless hearts to a faithfull account daily and ever keeping upon our Watch-Tower c. This would be a blessed means to keep in the fear of God all the day Prov. 23.17 to live much more in a little time as he did from 1678. to 1683. to be neither ashamed to live nor afraid to dye like him who lived his little short life with Christ in this lower world and now reigneth with Christ in the upper and better world FINIS Th● I did dilligently correct every Sheet yet for want of some Revises these faults with some others have escaped ERRATA In the Epistle page 5. line 18. dele 6 p. 6. l. 24. read got p. 36. l. 18. to wit trans p. 49. l. 9. for third r. threefold p. 63. l. 20. for Heaven r. haven P. 77. 1. 21. for soul r. seal p. 79. 1. 17. r. than p. 108. 1. 6. r. get p. 116. 1. 21. r. jeered and 1. 24. r. that p. 150. 1. 12. for to r. I. for by r. because p. 170. 1. 9. for 82. r. 83.
Word with him for his Promise is but with the Silver of this life but his Payment is with the Gold of a Better Life Solon said 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 whom God Loves Dye Young He 's taken away from the Evil to come 2 Kings 22.20 Isa 57.1 He hath lived long enough that can say not I have Married my Children to good Husbands as Worldlings say but I have Married my precious Soul to the Blessed Bridegroom This was his Joy yet could be Content to pass out of the midst of this Joy on Earth to possess a Better and Greater i● Heaven And O that we may enter into our Masters Joy as he hath done As a Post that hath delivered his Pacquet to God a Ship that is laid up in the Haven of Heaven an Eagle now feeding on the Carcass of Christ FINIS A Brief Relation of the First Conversion and after that of the whole Conversation of that precious Young Man Mr. John Draper drawn out of his Experiences Exercises Examinations of Himself and his Evidences for Heaven all writ with his own hand in Characters c. CHAP. I. HAving diligently perused what a prodigious account he gives of himself with ●is own Hand-writing I could not but stand astonished that one so young and a servant too and who had so much business on Earth in his Masters service should redeem so much time to make Religion his business in serving his great Master Christ and in securing Heaven for his Soul Though it seems almost incredible yet it is most certainly true that he Mellowed much and Ripened fast for Abrahams Bosom as appears by the Sequel This Holy Young Man may be a very eminent Patern of Piety to Old as well as Young Men in a fourfold respect 1. for his Experiences 2. for his Exercises 3. for his Self-Examinations and 4. for his Excellent Characters and Evidences of his Interest in a better World All which I find very strenuously stated in his own Hand-writing though in Characters yet by the help of a Key is made both legible and intelligible and now published for publick good I. For his Experiences they fall under a twofold head the former relates to his first Conversion and the latter to his whole Conversation His Conversion I understand was effectually wrought notwithstanding his strict and Religious Education and former convictions hereafter mentioned c. by a Sermon preached from Matth. 5.25 26. Agree with thy Adversary quickly while thou art in the way c. About December the 8th 1678. From whence He learned those blessed truths following and not only had them fixed upon his Heart and sealed upon his Soul but also I find his own Soul fixed in wax upon them to express the great Veneration of them for their being so Ravishing and Refreshing in the Hand of Christ to his Spirit The Great Truths that had an abiding work upon his heart when this Time of Love came upon him were these I. That God and Man are at variance through sin they are at a distance II. 'T is mans wisdom to make his peace with God his Adversary III. This must be done quickly while Man is in his way before he be brought to the Judges House by death c. IV. There is great danger in delaying or deferring this agreement but sinners should take up with God before it be too late c. V. That God hath an Action of Debt for which to arrest every sinner c. VI. This Debt of sin is strangely circumstanced 1. 't is an Hereditary 2 an Vniversal Debt both every man is born in this Debt and no man living is exempted from it 3. 't is an increasing and a growing debt the longer it runs on in a mans life c. 4. 't is an infinite debt and therefore insoluble it cannot be paid c. no finite creature can ever pay this infinite debt to the infinite Creator Those blessed truths the Lord spake with a strong hand as Isa 8.11 to this Young Mans heart and made him consider First That till this Agreement be made my God is my Adversary and I had better have all the World my Enemy the Maker of the World who if a friend can make my Enemies Friends c. Secondly I cannot stand it out with the great God who will burn up those bryars that set themselves against him Isa 27.4 Thirdly 'T is no frivolous thing to be done or undone but 't is a matter of great moment Eternal weal and woe hangs upon it c. Fourthly I must agree c. because there is no other way in all the World to take up this prodigious debt but by agreement c. Fifthly It will not always be my priviledge to make an agreement Time will not last always for taking up the Controversy for when Death comes then it is to late c. Sixthly If my cause come before the Righteous Judge I am sure to be cast because 't is a bad cause and that Judge will not be bribed with any thing in the day of Judgment Seventhly It I be cast in my cause I shall be delivered up by the Judge to Gods Gaoler and Executioner to wit the Devil Eightly If I be Delivered over to Gods officer of Justice he will cast me into Prison that is Dragg me into hell Ninthly If once I be cast into the prison of Hell there must I lye till I have paid the uttermost Farthing which can never be done I must be always paying the Debt yet never have paid it By these Soul-awaking Considerations the Lord help'd him through his Grace to conclude with himself That it was the highest Wisdom in the World to agree quickly with God his Adversary as he was a child of Wrath by nature Eph. 2.3 and it would be the most sublime Folly for him any longer to deferr it c. Hereupon the Lord having thus opened his Eyes touch'd his Heart and broke down windows into his Dark Soul upon further inquiry he learned that this vast debt he was owing to Divine Justice no less than Ten thousand Talents Mat. 18.24 which is no less than a Kings Ransom could never be compounded for This just Judge will have either All or None and till an Agreement be made God is an angry Adversasary And better I should anger all the Witches in the World and all the Devils in Hell than anger the great God I must agree with Him Then the inquiry was made how this might be done The answer was there is something lays on Gods part and something on yours That on Gods part is 1. to find an Arbitrator or Days-Man one more than a man for what could a meer man do with an angry God 2. God found a Ransom a Surety to satisfy the debt with the Travel of his Soul Job 33.24 Heb. 7.22 and Isa 53.11 3. God makes the Sinners Heart wil●ing to accept of this way of Agreement Phil 2.13 That which ●ays on mans part is two