which is honoured but in the mutable breath of the vulgar people hee is sicke of a two-fold enuie he enuieth others and others enuie him I cause him with Moses to choose rather to suffer affliction with the people of God then to enioy the honours of Pharaohs Court I make him consider that weeping and gnashing of teeth is the reward of the proud and the requitall of the honours which the wicked haue in this life I cause him seriously to say with himselfe O why should I be so foolish as to suffer my selfe to be carried away with the vanities of pleasures riches and honours seeing I finde no contentation in them I enforce him when he groneth of the Gout to crie out Vanitie of vanities all is but vanitie and thus though I afflict the bodie I lift vp the Soule to the contemplation of heauenly things Now to my deare darlings those loose lewd licentious lecherous luskish Libertines of the carnall Crue my filthy slaues a word or two I can stile them with no better titles because they alwayes solicite trouble allure and vexe me with their importunate calls and with their riotous liuing euen enforce me to come vnto them therefore I am seldome absent in mine owne person or els I send my sister the Lady Lues of Naples to enfrenchise her selfe into their bones a farre worse ghest then my selfe and betwixt vs two they are so tormented scourged and consumed that our abundant humours doe quickly put them out of their wanton humour or els with feare paine and weaknesse vtterly disable them Yet haue I an especiall regard of their Soules for I cause them to consider that this sinne shall neuer escape Gods reuenging hand that they are no better then carnall Epicures wholly sold ouer to iniquity that they are like Stallions euer neighing after their neighbours wiues rather swine then men whose delight is altogether to wallow in the puddle of filthinesse that they are like the Centaures and Minotaures whose vpper parts resemble men but in the lower parts they are very horses and bulls I labour to bring them to true mortification of the flesh as of whoredome adulterie gluttony drunkennesse reuenge c. For what pleasure can the adulterer take in his fleshly lust if he would but consider that his euill life doth not onely as Gods iust plague fill him full of incurable diseases but also makes him subiect to the eternall curse to remaine in perpetuall torments that his adulterie is a separation from Christ and that the bed of his pleasures shall in the end bee the cabine of his teares at the day of his death This sinne beginneth with mirth is continued with cares and endeth in torment Wanton pleasures begin in lust proceed with shame and end for the most part with pockes and contagion These pleasures as I heard our Preacher say are a deepe pit and none but with whom the Lord is angrie shall fall into it And so by this meditation I labour to bring them to repentance that their soules may be saued in the day of the Lord. As for my little Lullabies Mistris Wag-tayle the Wanton and her fellowes whose florishing fresh figure maketh proud for fastus inest pulchris when the rose and the lilly striue in their face for preeminence whose Coraline lippes cheerry cheekes vermillion dye louely eye golden haire c. and other endowments of Nature they haue abused to drawe the loose Libertines to the gaze and to catch them in the snare I will also plague these for the abuse of Gods gifts in making them nets of the diuell to insnare vnstable soules I taxe not all who are adorned with the grace of beauty for I know many of them sober chaste and modest but such as loue not to bee too heauie and are somewhat * Catholicke whose wanton life hath diffused many contagious humours through their whole body and yet haue a desire to seeme fairer in the eyes of vaine men with a deceitfull foppery and painting then with spirituall beauty of vertues to shine before God and his Angells whether their beauty consisteth in cleerenesse of skinne which is called Pulchritude or in neatnesse of bodie which is called Forme I know how to abate their pride if they were as faire as Nereus I will soone make them as deformed as Thersites their faire hue I make pale and wanne when their bodies are replenished with euill 〈◊〉 which wil breed 〈◊〉 their bodies swellings tumors vlcers gouts lepries c. the reward of a wicked life and so I will enforce them to confesse with wise Salomon Fauour is deceitfull and beautie is but vanitie Another most excellent lesson I teach my Clients and that is how to make choyce of a true friend a thing in these dayes most profitable I tell them and make them feele that they are no faithfull friends which draw vs to prodigalitie riot drunkennesse as are our pot-companions carousers health-drinkers c. whereby the Soule is polluted the body defiled crudities engendred and I with my disease constrained to scourge them and bring them to ruine but they are to be reputed out true friends which counsell vs to sobriety temperance moderation in eating and drinking chastity and such like whereby health is preserued nature rectified strength maintained my malady expelled and life prolonged And here I remember a wise instruction deliuered by our Pastor for we talkatiue Femails haue not the worst memorie Oportet mendacem esse memorem There is saith hee a counterfait friend a time-seruing friend a false-hearted friend The counterfait friend goeth alwaies masked in his mouth he hath alwayes Aue All-haile God blesse you but in his heart he hath Caue Take heed of me I will cut thy throat such euer giue poyson in a golden pill he is totus viscosus all lime his words are lime his gestures lime his countenance lime and all to catch thee as the Fowler doth the bird his words are complementall but his heart deuiseth thy downe-fall all his plots are for his owne profit and glosings for his owne gaine hee riseth by thy fall and getteth by thy losse a man cannot bee too circumspect and heedfully wary of such Try and trust for there are many lurking holes in mans heart The time-seruing friend is like the Cuckoe or the Swallow which in the pleasant spring and summer of thy prosperity will take pleasure in thee and warme himselfe at the sun-shine of thy fortunes but in the winter of aduersitie he will not know thee no longer a friend then on the winning side The false-hearted friend his policie is to diue into thy bosome and sound the secrets of thy heart that he may vndermine thee in thy purpose hold thee still in feare and hurt thee at his pleasure Scire volunt secreta domus atque inde timeri Thy secret dealings they would know That they may keepe thee still in awe By secret
follow the truth and with how many cares and anxieties are men pearced in procuring the things pertaining to this mortall body and vse of this fraile life I speak not of superfluous things but of things very necessarie though as the Poet sayth minimis rebus contenta quiescit Natnra in vitium si non dilapsa repugnat Mans nature with a little thing contented doth remaine Except it headlong falne to vice it doth repugne againe And what is aboue necessaries may be called the sicknesses or maladies of the minde as pleasures opinions feares perturbations desires loue hatred c. which seldome or neuer permitteth the minde to be at rest like the violent force of fire which causeth the water alwaies to boile vp till it be remoued For what I pray you stirreth vp warres brawles murthers seditions rapines iniuries but the flesh and the desire of hauing which is neuer satisfied For wee see now a dayes mony is able to atchiue all things And all this the loue of this fraile body compelleth vs to doe which is the cause that while we pamper vp the body our thoughts are farre estranged from any care taking of the Soule and our mindes distracted from prouiding for the life to come for our senses are like vnto violent horses which without the reines of reason runne away violently with the chariot but the soule like a waggoner holdeth the bridle and therfore as horses without a guide so the flesh without reason and rule of the minde runneth hastily to its owne ruine what a slauery is it then to serue our owne appetite I remember a lesson which I learned long agoe of a learned Preacher That in choosing a Master euery man will shun three sorts of men his enemie his fellow his seruant Hee that serueth the Diuell serueth his greatest enemy he serueth his fellow who serueth the lust of the flesh he serueth his seruant who serueth the world it is a base seruice to serue the world for that is to become a slaue to our seruant it is an vncertaine seruice to serue the flesh for it is so fraile weake and sickly that he may looke euery day to be turned out of dores and which is worst of all it is least contented when it is most serued but to serue the diuell is the vnthriftiest seruice of all for the wages hee payeth is eternall death Wherefore wise men are wont to sequester themselues as farre as they may from the commerce of the bodie and worldly affairs to the end that the mind may the more freely bee lifted vp to the contemplation of heauenly things and the more a man is auerted from the bodie the more hee is conuerted to heauenly meditations hee abstaineth from fleshly desires he subdueth his pleasures he little esteemeth honors riches nobilitie fame and whatsoeuer the world holdeth most precious he feareth not ignominie pouertie affliction nor death it selfe and all things which are contrarie to the flesh that hee most desireth And wise men are wont to measure their life not by the number of yeeres but by the time they haue liued well I haue read of one Similus who hauing spent the greatest part of his life in the troublesome employments of the weale publick and being now old retired himselfe into a Farme hee had in the Countrie and gaue himselfe to prayer and contemplation and when hee dyed commanded this Epitaph to be set vpon his Tombe Hic iacet Similus cuius at as multorum aâ—â—orum fuit ipse duntaxat septem annos vixerit Here lyeth Similus whose age was of many yeeres but he liued only seuen But whoso serueth his bodily sences besides that hee must needs depart from the path of vertue he shall neuer obtaine what he desireth for being deceiued with the false shewes of goodnes he loseth the substance for to catch the shadow and as the body tooke beginning from the earth so the soule had her originall from heauen as one saith not vnfitly Immortall soule from heauen God gaue But bodie fraile from earth we haue The body as a seruant should be subiected vnto the command of the soule the one is heauenly and immortall the other common to vs with the brute beasts Nothing therfore is more excellent then the soule nothing more diuine it as farre excelleth the body as the master doth his seruant as the liuing doth the dead and as the body maketh earthy things its full scope and marke whereat it only aymeth so the minde erecteth it selfe to heauenly things as to the proper end for which it was created Yee see here O Iudges how much more noble the Soule is then the bodie But now will I addresse my selfe to shew what a passing excultrix and adorner I am of the minde and how much I garnish the celestiall Soule whiles I extinguish the vices of the bodie albeit I doe not alwaies hurt the bodie but am wont commonly to profit it also for I attenuate superfluous fatnesse I drie vp humours which redound through intemperance and consume them lest they should encrease to a huge greatnesse and bring no small danger to the whole bodie Againe as Physicians affirme I also prolong the life for except I did depell and driue down to the feet and ioints that noxious and pernicious matter it would doubtlesse assault the braine heart liuer and stomake and soone extinguish the vitall spirits But to omit those things which pertaine to the body let vs proceed to mens vices and infirmities which I aboue others am very expert to cure so that in this Art I yeeld to none whether Philosopher or Diuine for I am not only an impediment and curbe to my seruants that they runne not headlong in wickednesse but also the vices which through custome are become inueterate I extirpate and expell and cause that they shall not sinne vnpunished and scot-free which if I did not they would neuer desist from their wickednesse but stil adde sinne vnto sinne euill vnto euill til sinne forsake them Now first for this Monster pride which is puppis ac prora the very head and taile of all euill I must a little insist vpon this as I learned of a Preacher Gregory sayth he maketh 4. kinds of proud men 1. The arrogant proud 2. The presumptuous proud 3. The boasting proud 4. The despising proud person The first attributeth euery good thing in himselfe to himselfe and not vnto God The second will confesse God to be the giuer of all graces but vpon their owne merit The third boast of their vertues which indeede they haue not The fourth affecteth a kinde of singularity and puritie in that he hath or supposeth to haue Vitia catera in peccatis superbia etiam in benefactis timenda when other sinnes dye secret pride gets strength in vs ex remedijs generat morbos euen vertue is the matter of this vice though all sinnes are in the diuell secundum reatum in respect of the guilt yet only
and lie hard and can renounce all pleasures of the flesh I hate I flie from such But these my gallant accusers forsooth which spend both day and night in riot whose bodies with Idlenesse are corrupted which abhorre labour as the pestilence which eneruate yea euirate themselues with Venus which search Land and Sea for dainty Viands which stirre vp gluttonie with all kind of sawces which measure the manner of their drinking not by necessity but by libidinie which lie on Downe beds and not onely go proudly but monstrously apparelled which feede vpon Oysters Ecles and slimie-fish loue Goose Gosling and Fennish-fowle fresh Beefe and moorish Birds and wash their throats lustily with bowles of Claret wine drinke healths in halfe pots and whole pots till they haue drunke themselues out of health out of wealth out of wit and grace too forgetting that Vna salus sanis nullam potare salutem He that in health would long remaine From drinking healths hee must abstaine Which flow in all delights which mans wickednesse can deuise whereby they enfeeble both body and mind and many times though I be very delicate prouoke mee euen to loath their riot yet those men are wont to lay vpon me all the blame forgetting their own liues are most corrupt contaminated with filthy vices which is the cause of all euill to themselues and when they erre in the whole course of their life yet for sooth they cease not to accuse and traduce me but as iustly as if a man should fall into the fire or cast himself head long into the water yet should curse the fire and accuse the water as cause of the danger which he procured to himselfe but this is the common courtesie of the world to shake all blame from themselues and cast it vpon others that by accusing others they might vindicate vnto themselues an opinion of goodnesse when they are the occasion of all mischiefe According to the Poet Hominum quoque mos est Que nos cunque premunt alieno imponere tergo What vs oppresse and heau packes Wee loue to lay on others backes And heere iust occasionâ—… is offered me to exclaim against the slippery loue and friendship of the world For who would suspect the loue of these men which all their life long call for me inuite me yea by their misgouernment enforce mee to dwell with them as if they could not liue without me But indeed in men in whom is laid no foundation of Vertue is no expectation of faith and honestie And one of the things saith a Wiseman that men think they haue when they haue them not is many friends yea one faithful friend for by my experieÌ„ce if thou wilt beleeue me I know not any thing wherein thou maist sooner be deceiued And that which one friend doth for another in these daies is either to excuse or hide himselfe when there is neede of him beeing more ready to lend him his Conscience then his money And he that will compare the number that professe friendship vnto him with them that haue performed the part of true friends for one faithfull he shal discouer an hundred dissemblers Friendship was wont to extend Vsque adaras as farre as the Altars but now Vsque ad crumenas euen to the purse and no farther What is more common in euery mans mouth then friendship and what more rare and lesse in vse They make a formall shew of ciuility but what they performe is plaine diuillitie They will dissemble cunningly promise liberally and performe niggardly giue all and depart with nothing I am all yours say they except body and goods Surely such is the loue of my Podagricall friends so ful of contraieties oppositions that it may be called an intricate riddle which needeth som Delio natatore as it is in the Prouerb to dissolue it As What is that which at once loueth hateth flyeth pursueth threatneth intreateth is angry yet pittieth would for sake yet wil not and in the same thing reioyceth sorroweth The answer is it is Loue a right portraiture of my louing frieÌ„ds and therfore one wel aduiseth to make if we may all men our well-willers but good men our friends And Plutarch warneth men to take heede how they seek for a swarme of friends lest they fall into a Waspes-nest of enemies Verily I craue not O ye Iudges that you should only credit my words looke I pray you into the constitution of their bodies their face skin colour aspect and going and if ye find not all these to witnesse their extreme riot I will endure willingly any punishment these seeme to bee rather Crassiani then Christiani Yet farre bee it from mee that I should censure thus sharply all Plethoricke and grosse bodies for I know it to be naturall vnto many which notwithstanding keepe themselues within the bounds of Sobrietie and hate all excesse There are also many Students which vse a Sedentarie life which are so far from surfeiting that their slender Commons will scarse hold body and soule together and in whose Colledges a hungry man may as soone breake his necke as his fast yet sometime I visite them also because they refuse all exercise and will not learne this lesson Ne quid nimis but by ouercooling their feete and congealing their blood prepare for mee a resting place I am wont also to touch some which through ouer-violent exercise dilate too much the vitall pores extenuate the blood and humours distemper the Liuer causing Podagricall matter to fall downe which begin my habite within them I therefore am not so hurtfull but they themselues inescate and allure me with their delicacies retaine mee against my will to come vnto them they I say peruert all things and then conuert all the fault vpon mee I am present they wish me away I am absent with their vices they call me againe in sicknesse they seeke healthe in health they make sicknesse Their owne health they neglect and cease not to require it of me they are male factors to themselues and would haue me be their benefactor they will liue dissolutely and curse me maliciously Consider therefore O yee Iudges what they deserue whose life reproueth them whose forme of body bewraieth whom inueterate custome reprehendeth They neuer thinke that they ought to eate and drinke that they may liue and not liue to eate and drinke they neuer consider that only Lurcones and Gulliguâ—s are my enemies for who I pray you so bitterly inueigh against me but only Luxurious men Who accuse me of cruelty but only Luxurious men Who crye out to haue mee condemned without answere but onely Luxurious men This beeing so O Iudges how dare my aduersaries to mutter against me How dare they appeare in your presence How dare they to craue punishment to be inflicted vpon me being Innocent But they will say I am their bitter and torturing enemy What then In
sciences doe not I also furnish with knowledge of the celestiall Orbes as Astrologie a most ancient and diuine Art the prayses whereof if I would yet I am not able to vnfold an Art so excellent that the ancients ascribe the inuention thereof to their supposed gods and was in old time in such account that none but Kings and wise men were thought worthy of the knowledge thereof This Art I teach my seruants and so infuse it into their bodies that euen the Art of numeration or Tables they perfectly vnderstand it not that they are ignorant in Arithmeticke which I teach them when as I said they are so much giuen to pecuniarie matters that being holden in my bonds they are more auaricious then when they were free But marke now I pray you a miracle which wonderfully commendeth my force and industry to vnderstand the motions change of the heauens they need no Tables Globes Astronomicall instruments or figures for before there happen any coniunction eclipse any alteration of weather the change full quarters of the Moone or any dire aspect of the Planets I cause them to know it not so much in minde as in very deede to feele the effects thereof in their bodies And that not only in the great and splendent lights they are so perfect but also in the errant stars so that the infaust aspects either of cold Saturne or raging Mars or when they obliquely behold each other or when the Horoscope it selfe or the Moon the gouernesse of mans life shall be infected with their disastrous influences all this cannot bee hidden from them There are none that can more exactly and certainly foretell of stormes raine haile snowe tempests or any alteration of weather then my seruants can for they alwaies carrie a Kalender in their bones yea they presage this two or three dayes before it come and may they not I pray you through this presaging of times and seasons attaine vnto ripe wisedome which consisteth in these three things Corrige praeteritum rege presens cerne futurum◠What 's past amend vse praesent well Presage the future to fore-tell Are not these great things ô ye Iudges and full of admiration yet is it also no lesse prayse-worthy that I teach my Podagricall seruants the excellent Art of Physike then which scarce any thing more singular for the preseruation of mankinde is giuen of God This I inculcate and beate into their heads euen against their wils So that many times they vnderstand the vertue of hearbs flowers plants seeds rootes trees gummes leaues mineralls more exactly then the Physicions themselues besides their knowledge in the bloud of beasts their skinnes milke galls fat bones nerues and vrine c. I instruct them to discerne what is cold and what is hot what is drie and what is moyst what is stipticke and what is repulsiue what is aperitiue attractiue instauratiue and solutiue what in vertue is of the first degree what of the second what of the third and this I teach them not onely to know but also to practice in making pultisses cataplasmes baths repercussiues c. as in all other things so in this I make my seruant excell not only in Theoricke but also in the Practick no maruell then if by my meanes they know the histories of all Nations and read the fables of all Poets and which is a note of a generous mind when others make a gaine of their profession I teach all this freely without any hire at all And when other Emperickes proue practices by killing a number my experience is safe and secure hence came this saying Nouo medico nouo opus est sepulcreto a new Physician had neede of a new Church-yard and therefore Nicocles affirmed that such Physicians were the happiest of all men and why Quontam successus eorum sol videt errores autem tellus operiret because the sunne seeth their good successes but their errors are hid in the ground that is in the graue yet are they so insolent and proud that a stranger vpon a time comming into a Citie and seeing a Physician ietting in golden chaines and rich clothing asked what Noble man that was it was answered that he was no Noble man but a Physician He replyed ô God what an honest Physician is this which taketh from other bodies the Kings Euill and putteth it on his owne body But if my seruants would follow Hippocrates counsaile Cibus potus somnus venus sint omnia moderata Meate drinke sleepe venus let all bee with moderation perhaps they would little need my physike or theirs These things being so yee vnderstand as I thinke O vpright Iudges what great benefits I bestow vpon mine accusers and also how vngratefully yea more then barbarously they requite my kindnesse but what they haue been long deuising to obiect against that which I haue sayd I know well enough to wit that all these things are not to be reputed as benefits but rather as markes of extreme miserie and that I am the bane and mischiefe of mankinde rather then a fautrixe or benefactrixe for first for the beauty of the face which is wont to chaine all men in the linkes of the loue thereof which consisteth as wee Females best know how to describe it in a large square well extended and cleere front eye-browes well ranged thinne and subtill the eye well diuided cheerefull sparkling as for the colour I leaue it doubtfull the nose leane the mouth little the lips corraline the chinne short and dimpled the cheeks somewhat rising and in the middle a pleasant louely gelasin the eares round and wel compact the whole countenance with a liuely tincture of white and vermilion red facies roseo niueoque colore mista placet this say they I change and marre and exhaust the bloud weaken the strength take away sleepe dimme the sight diminish alacritie abandon ioy sport and laughter incurue the ioynts fingers toes and infeeble the whole body and staine and obscure the fresh colour but in this long and idle friuolous obiection they shew themselues to bee sicke in minde and therefore iudge rather by this passion then discerne by reason these doltish men know not that they attribute vnto mee much more praise then disgrace among wise men by this their accusation for while I weaken the body I cure the Soule while I afflict the flesh I strengthen the Spirit while I purge out what is earthly I bring in what is heauenly while I diminish what is temporary I conferre what is eternall No man is ignorant that the bodie is the polluting prison of the Soule the Soule cannot florish except the body fade and diminish for this grosse lumpe of the flesh is an impediment vnto the Soule that it cannot mount aloft in the contemplation of heauenly things it layeth a thousand lets and casteth as it were darke clouds whereby the sharpnesse of the minde is obfuscate and blinded that it cannot see nor
pride and enuie is in him secundum effectum according to the effect he is guilty of all sinne for he tempteth to all sinnes but pride is his owne proper sinne his beloued Paragon his Rimnon saith Bernard his Character saith another it was the first sinne and it shall be the last for as other sinnes decrease secret pride doth increase pride is like Coloquintida which spoileth the whole pot of pottage Why then art thou proud ô dust and ashes whose conception is sinne whose life is miserie whose end is rottennesse and corruption Initium vitae coecitas obliui◠possidet progressum labor dolor exitum error omnia et diu viuendo portant funera sua Childhood is but foolish sottishnes youth but a precipitate heate manhood labour and carking carefulnesse olde age but a bundle of diseases and all the rest error and the end extreme paine Oh then what a folly is pride Si tibi copia si sapientia formaque detur Sola superbia destruit omnia si committetur If thou hast abundance with wisedomes redundance and beauties faire grace Yet Pride all disgraceth all goodnes debaseth and Vertues deface But I make pride and ambition strike their sayles and coole their courage when my force teacheth them how lesse then nothing mans arrogancie is how vaine is beauty how weake the strength of body how fluid our humours how fleeting our wealth Nobilitie a nest of nothings humane glory but a gust of wind I cause them to remember that they are but mortalls whom pride perswaded to be Gods equalls Againe while I teach the myriades of mans miseries I quench enuy emulation detraction and the impertinent care of vnnecessary things For how can men be curious in other mens matters when they haue more then enough to doe with their owne I take away malice and cauils so that my seruants deuise no cunning craftie circumuentions of their neighbours a thing too common but with none but Atheists in these dayes They stirre vp no strife brawlings contention among others which haue enough and more then enough to do with their owne griefs And as for hatred and enuie my seruants are so far from this vile passion that they neither enuie nor are enuied of others for misery is no obiect for enuie and they deserue rather comfort and pitie These ô Iudges are matters of no small moment but you shall heare greater There are three things which are most infest enemies vnto my vassalls though they daily receiue them but vnto me they are very profitable Gluttony Venery and Anger But I respect not so much mine owne profite as the health of my seruants I warne them diligently to beware of these enemies and if I finde that they contemne my warnings I take reuenge vpon them for their contempt and make them for their owne case hereafter be more wary how they set light of my precepts And as often as by deuouring they too much ingurge their guts and superfluously gully downe wine I am presently with them as a sharp reuenger I plague them according to their deserts and counsaile them henceforward not so lightly to esteeme my hests yet am not I so agresticke and sterne that I should denie moderate vse of meates or altogether forbid Bacchus his liquor but through my benefite they many times feede more delicately and are wont to drinke more freely especially when they celebrate their solemnities with salacious Nymphes But I deterre them from too much addicting themselues to the seruile seruice of that rude master Bacchus and from being enthralled with the allurements of wanton Venus so that my seruants dare very seldome or neuer commit adulteries or whoredomes I keepe them from vncleannesse and preserue mayd and wise from their pollutions but if they be vnruly I so gripe them that they shall repent of their exorbitant causes and loath the Femall sexe what greater benefit can their best friends confer vpon them then to deliuer them from so many euils and exempt them from so many perils as are wont to follow Cupid that blind beardlesse boy and Venus a mother worthy such a sonne And now for anger what should I say It is a vice full of fury and madnesse which is wont to send hot and sharpe cholerick humors into their ioints which shall incessantly pricke and torment them but none know better to cure this malady then my selfe they dare not for their life fall into these passions lest I presently torment them according to their deseruings and make euen their bones to cracke Moreouer as I expurge the flesh infected with infinite vices so I adorn the mind and beautify it with many vertues I suffer it not to be pressed downe but doe eleuate it from earth to heauen and stirre it vp to prayer and contemplation I thinke it cannot bee vnknowne vnto you how the greatest part of men are inclined that if fortune alwayes should fauour them if their sweet should neuer be seasoned with sowre if the world should euer smile vpon them they would alwayes fixe their minds vpon earthly things they would regard nothing but backe and belly and like swine wallow in the puddle of their pleasures but the afflictions which I lay vpon them may be likened vnto the tree called Rhamnus whose root leaues and branches though as Physicions say they be exceeding bitter yet are they very medicinable for the seede thereof purgeth the body of all grosse humours and the iuice thereof cleereth the sight So afflictions though to flesh and bloud they seeme austere and bitter yet are they very healthfull to the Soule they purge out the noysome humor of sinne cleere the eyes of the minde which prosperity blindeth that wee may truly know our selues see our owne corruption and become henceforward more warie how we offend our louing God and fly vnto him in al our miseries the scourge of affliction awaketh the drowsie humbleth the proud purgeth the penitent and crowneth the innocent But I feare I haue too much offended your patience with my tedious prolixitie I will therefore conclude with setting downe certaine particulars to proue what a precious panacea and all-saluing plaister I am for the curing of all spirituall infirmities of the soule and first for Selfe-loue the pernicious daughter of Pride the fountaine of much euill the Lerna malorum the Sentina and packe of all mischiefe in the world Now for the abating of this vice what remedy better then afflictions which I lay vpon the flesh I cause men thereby to know themselues that in their best estate they are but a dung-hil couered with snow subiect to paine aches sores rottennesse and corruption we were all taken out and fashioned of the same lumpe of clay of the same piece of earth as the poorest and basest whom wee so despise and so I teach men to esteeme of others as of themselues seeing we are all made of the same substance all subiect to the same
infirmities and all hastening to the same end to become meate for wormes Why then art thou proud O earth and ashes seeing that in thy most florishing prime thou art but filthy slime a packe of diseases a sacke of infirmities a Store-house of miseries thy body but compact of clay thy head but a panne of earth thy whole life besieged with a huge army of diseases and euery one both threatning to arrest thee and able to kill thee Thus with my disease I stoope the proudest and make selfe-loue to quaile And for the Viper Enuie that miserable fretting slaue a wretch euer sad and pensiue for besides his owne griefes he euer tormenteth himselfe at another mans felicitie I say of him as Seneca did once I could wish that the eyes of the enuious were so opened that in euery towne they might behold all that be in prosperity that their torments might be increased for as the ioies of others do increase so the sorrowes of the enuious doe multiply we can no way more vexe the enuious man then by applying our selues to vertue for he hath so many tormētors to scourge him as his neighbour hath vertues to commend him The poison of enuy is far worse then the poyson of Serpents for their poyson hurteth others but not themselues but the poyson of the enuious hurteth themselues but not others Moreouer the enuious man imagineth another mans good greater than it is thereby to increase his owne sorrow and miserie To this purpose I remember a pretie tale that certaine Physicions meeting together there grew a question among them concerning the chiefest medicine for the eies one said fennell another eye-bright another greene glasse c. Nay saith another merily it is enuie for that maketh other mens goods to seeme greater then they are and confirmed it by this saying of the Poet Fertilior seges est alieno semper in agro Vicinumque pecus grandius vber habet The neighbours fields are euermore with corne much better spedde Their flockes in milke more plentifull how euer they be fedde There is a Fable but it hath a good Morall of the enuious man and the couetous man they both went together into Iupiters Temple to pray Iupiter granted their petitions vpon this condition that whatsoeuer the one did craue the other should haue the same doubled the enuious man asked many things and had them but the other alwaies had them doubled the enuious man seeing this was grieued and praied that he might lose one eye and then reioiced that his fellow had lost both his See here what a ciabolicall sinne enuie is which careth not to hurt it selfe to doe a greater dammage vnto another But when I come to grapple with this Caytife I will so perplexe him and make him so wretched that no man shall enuy him nor himselfe haue little lust to enuy others I tell him that he is most his owne enemy for the man whom he enuieth may depart from him but he can neuer depart from himselfe whithersoeuer he goeth hee carrieth his enemy still in his bosome his aduersary in his heart his owne destruction within himselfe and thus I seeke to cure this malady And for Couetousnes I am like the clubbe of Hercules to beat it downe when paines and incessant torments enforce the couetous worldling to confesse and meditate with himselfe that riches are fickle that the liues of the possessors are brittle that transitory riches are but run-awayes they will either runne from vs as they did from Iob or we shall be taken from them as the Preacher sayd of the couetous worldly minded Thou foole this night shall thy soule be taken from thee The couetous man is like hell in the inlarging of his desires to containe all more greedie sayth Basil then the very fire which goeth out when the matter faileth but Couetousnesse is neuer quenched whose desire burneth as well when he hath matter as when he hath none Hee alwaies goeth with a three-toothed flesh-hooke the one is called Petax which desireth all the other Rapax which catcheth at all the third Tenax which holdeth fast all Now when the Gout gripeth him I teach him to meditate thus with himselfe O what pleasure can I take in riches which I haue so greedily scraped together I see they can yeeld me no ease at all no not so much as free me from a fit of feuer I now take no more pleasure in them they no more delight me then as the Poet sayth Lippum pictae tabulae vt fomenta podagraxs Auriculas Cytherae collecta sorde dolentes Who couets or who liues in feare his goods do him delight As much as blinde man pleasure takes in pictures finely dight Or one that 's deafe doth take delight in Musikes siluer sound Or as the Gout in foments when the griefe doth most abourd What ioy take I now in my stately houses which I haue built by theft in my large fields which I haue gotten by deceit my cursed sacriledge in deuouring Christs patrimony which will bee like the Eagles feather to consume all that I shall leaue to my heire in my reuenues for which I haue damned mine owne soule In my gold and siluer which I haue heaped together with the sweat yea with the bloud of the poore what comfort take I in my life it selfe which I haue so vnprofitably spent when I made my heapes my heauen my gold my god my lands my life I see now I haue chosen drosse for gold rust for siluer losse for gaine shame for honour toile for rest hell for heauen I see now all worldly cares are frustrate and fruitlesse I wil therfore aspire to heauenly treasure which is eternall which no rust can corrupt no moth fret no theeues steale in regard wherof all other things are but dung and drosse I will now fixe my desires vpon the life to come where there shall bee no sicknesse to afflict me no maladie to torment mee no griping griefes to assault me Thus where there is any sparke of Gods Spirit I teach men seriously to meditate Happy and thrice happy they which haue the grace thus to suppresse their inordinate desires of riches The ambitious man in his swelling humour which by all meanes seeketh to aspire vnto dignities and honour who had rather be vulpeculae caput quà m cauda leonis the head of a foxe then the tayle of a lyon as the Prouerbe is when I visite him I cause him soone to strike his loftie sayles I humble him and enforce his haughty heart to stoop I make him to know that he is like a Carbuncle which is the name of a precious stone and of a swelling sore or tumor hee hath together glittering glorie and wounding woe hee liueth inter malleum incudem betwixt the hammer and the Anuile betweene hope and feare I tell him that honour is not in honorato sed in honorante not in him
policie and Machiuilian traines seeking to effect that which they cannot by honest meanes nor violent courses a Herod within and a Iohn without a wicked Politician in a Ruffe of the Precisian sett Shallow honesty is better then the quick-sands of subtiltie and plaine dealing is a good plaine song as one accutely saith this counsell of the Poet in this case is not to be despised Let no man know thy secret deeds thy friend haue alwaies so While friendship last that thou foresee he once may be thy foe Take heed of such friends and be not hastie to entertaine friendship with any and so much for this Now if any will obiect that all other diseases can effect these things which I haue spoken of as well as I or better That I denie and vtterly deny For other diseases do quickly some sodainly suppresse life or do so afflict them that they haue scarce any leisure to thinke on their Soules health but it is farre otherwise with me for I know how to extend my force and when need requireth in conuenient time to remit it againe and giue them ease which other diseases seldome doe Albeit O Iudges I could alledge much more for my selfe yet will I now make an end when I haue shewed by the example of great men that my societie is neither shamefull nor wretched It is the part of Heroicall and Noble mindes indifferently to suffer prosperitie and aduersitie and to make a vertue of ineuitable necessitie And to let passe many Potentates of the Earth that Troian Monarch Priamus admitted me into his golden Palace Peleus Bellerophon and Oedipus did not exclude me Plisthenes Prothesilus and prudent Vlisses receiued mee courteously and haply which some may wonder at Achilles himselfe though swift of foot could not auoid my power Let the Grecians fable as much as they will That hee was displeased for the taking away of his Paragon it was I that kept him from the battaile I I ywis was that Brises which made him contemne the entreatie of the Grecians Would not now any wise man chuse rather to suffer some hardnesse with those famous Noble Personages then with vile base and abiect persons to wallow in Swinish pleasures and rather labour to adorne his mind with Vertue then like brute Beasts to become a slaue to the belly and corruptible flesh Mala quae cum multis patimur leuiora videntur The griefes that we with many beare the better may sustaine Ye haue heard O Noble Iudges my iust Apologie now it remaineth that I beseech you to weigh all things in the ballance of Equitie and then by your vpright sentence free me from these malicious calumniations and false accusations which my wicked enemies lade me with when themselues are most in fault and inflict vpon them deserued punishment for their licentious and filthie liuing so shall Truth be honoured your selues for Iustice commended and my Accusers reformed and my selfe bound incessantly to pray vnto the Almightie that your Honours bee neuer touched with my disease FINIS Eccl. 12. ver 3. 5. Her Dulce est errare authoribê° illis Horat. Podagra beginneth her Apologie Si accusasse sufficiat quis innocens esse poterit Truth cannot finally be suppressed Aug. ad Christin Arist Ob. Sol. Epict. Anacharsis De remed fortuiterum Genio indulgere Whom the Gout flyeth from With whome the Gout loueth to dwell The Gouts Diet. Si tarde cupis esse senex vtaâ—…s oportet vel modico medice vel medico medice Supta cibus tan quam laedit medicina salutem At suptus prodest vt modicina cibus Mantuanus Vertue the foundation of friendship Gueuarra Of true friendship A true saying PHILOMISOPHILIAS EICON Difficilis facilis incundus accrâ—bus es idem Mart. lib. 12. Macrob. lib. 1. de soâ—â—… Scipionis Miscentur tristia letis et mala sunt vicina bonis Plato in Phaedone Ambrose Pleasures Proclamation She is indidifferent to all Ob Ans Hier. in epist Aristotle A preseruatiue against the Gout Pythagoras abstained from eating of flesh Plato was very moderate and frugall Codius a poore man whose fare and lodging was meane Abstemius one that abstaineth from wine Phthiriasis the lowsie disease Mentagra a pocke or fretting scabbe Note Membrifragus Bacchus cum membrifraga Cytheraea progenerant natam membrifragam Podagram In Graec. Epigram The couetous wretch Nil praeter betas duraque rupa vorat Alciat The commodities of the Gout Hee speaketh according to their manners in Germanie Torqueo podigra R. Nescis sencctutis moâ—em incomitata non venit magnam saepe morboâ—um aciem ducit Petrace de remed vtausque for lib. 2. dial 84. Haec his bina canes aues serui atque caballi Dicuntur dominos saepe vorare suos Hounds hawkes and horse seruants and whores oft turne their masters out of dores Musike Rhethoricke Astrologie Arithmeticke Horoscope is a diligent marking of the time of the birth of a child Physike A pretie tale The Kings Euill or Yellow Iaundise which through the ouerflowâ—ng of the gall maketh the skinne looke yellow like gold Hippocrates A description of beautie Gelasin is a little dint which in laughte appeareth in the cheekes counted louely D. B. A Historie The prrfite it causeth to body and soule Pride Mor. lib. 23. cap. 27. Aquin. par 1. quaest 63. Art 2. Bern de Passio Dom. cap. 19. Ecc. 10. Petrarch Enâ—ie Three things hurtfull to the Gout Gluttony Venuâ— Anger Aug in Psal Anacharsis Senec. Note a pretie tale OVID. Note Couetousnesse Luc. 12. 20. Abuc 2. 3. Basil in hom Qui cupit aut metuit c. Horat. Ambition Duplici laborat inuidia inuidetur ei inuidet ipse Senec. in Epist 85. Loose licentious liucis The Pockes 2. Pet. 2. 22. Incipit a risu curis coalcscit amaris Desinâ—t in lacrymis improbus iste furor Mant. Prou. 22. 17. The vanity of beautie Vniuersall or common Nereus Thersites Friendship Reade Ecc. 6 ver 7 8 9 c. Nullus ad amissas ibit amicus opes Inuenal T. A. Palling Ob. Ans