side against him and persecuted his children and the truth with all my might and all this against knowledge and conscience after some measure of illumination which cannot be affirmed of the Jews Yet miserable wretch that I was if I could have given him my body and soul they should have been saved by it but he were never the better for â—hem Sect. XXXIII Lastly to tell you that which is more strange Notwithstanding all this that hath been mentioned and much more Yet I thought my self a good Christian forsooth yea with that young man in the Gospel I thought I had kept all the commandements Nor was I a whit troubled for sin either original or actâ—al but my conscience was at quiet and I was at peace neither did any sin trouble me Yea I would applâ—ud my self with that Phariâ—â—e Luke 18. 9 to 15. and say I was not like other men not once doubting of my salvation I ever refused to do what my Makes commanded and yet confidently hoped to escape what he threatned Noâ— did I doubt of having Christ my Redeemer and Advocate in the next lifâ— when I had been a bitter enemy to him and his mâ—mbers in this life Hâ—re was blindnesse with a witnesse as it is not to be believed how blind and blockish men are that have onely the flesh for their guide espeâ—â—ally if â—hey have hardned their hearts and seaâ—ed theiâ—coâ—sciences with a customary sinning As I could give you for instance a large catalogue of rare examples how sin hath besotted men and what stark fools carnal men are in spiritual things he they never so wise for mundane knowledge But least iâ— should be taken for a digression or excursion you shall have a list of them by themselvs the which I will add as an Appendix to this Discourse or Dialogue In the mean time I have given you a brief of my manifold provocations and great ingratitude to my Maker and Redeemer for otherwise I might be endlesse in the prosecution thereof It remains that I should in like manner lay open my original defilement which is the fountain whence all the former whether sins of commission or sins of omission do flow But touching it be pleased to peruse that smal Tract intituled A short and sure way to Grace Salvation Or Three Fundamental Principles of Christian Religion by R. Y. from page 4 to page 10. Sect. XXXIV Loose Libertine If this hath been your case no wonder it hath startled you for to deal plainly with you as you have done with me what I have heard from you makes me also tremble For if such honest moral men that live so unreprovably as you had done go not to heaven what will become of me that have been openly profane and notoriously wicked all my time Yea it contented me noâ— to do wickedly my self and so damne my own soul but I have been the occasion of drawing hundreds to Hell with me by seducing some and giving ill example to others the infection of sin beiâ—g much worse then the act As how many have I drawn to be Drunkardâ— and swearers and who emongers and profane persons insomuch that the blood of so many souls as I have drawn away will be required at my hands Yea my life haâ—h been so debauched and licentious that I have brought a scandal upon the Gospel and made it odious to the very Turks and Infidels Rom. 2. 24. Convert Alass what I did that was morally good or what evil I refrained was more for self endâ— or more for fear of men's Laws then for love of Christ's Gospel True I went under the notion of an honest man and a good Christian I was baptized into the faith and made a member of Christ's visible Church but I was so far from indeavouring to performe what I then promised that in effect I even renounced both Christ and my Baptisme in persecuting him and all that sincerely professed his name thinking I did God good service therein Joh. 16. 2. Gal. 1. 13 14. Phil. 3. 6. Nor was it for want of ignorance that you thought so of me for by nature be we never so milde and gentle we are all the seed of the Serpent Gen. 3 15 and children of the Divel Joh. 8. 44. Yea the very best moral man is but a tame Divel as Athanasius well notes But it is a true proverb the blinde eat many a flie and all colours are alike to him that is in the dark Loose Libertine So much the worse is my condition for my conscience tells me there is not a word you have spoken of your self but I can justly apply the same unto my own soul and a great deal more For whereas you have been a moral honest man so that none except your self could tax you for breaking either God's Law or man's I have been so wicked and profane that I could most presumptuâ—usly and of set purpose take a pride in my wickednesse commit it with greedinesse speak for it deâ—end it joy in it boast of it tempt and inforce to it yea mock them that disliked it As if I would send challenges into Heaven and make love to destruction and yet did applaud my self and prefer my own condition before other men's saying I was no diâ—â—embler yea I hated the hypocrisie of Professors I do not justifie my self and despise others like the Puritanes I am not factious schismatical singular censorious c. I am not rebellious noâ— contentious like the Brownists and Anabaptists I am a good fellow and love an honest man with my heart c. and as touching a good conscience I was never troubled in minde as many scrupulous fools are I have a good heart and mean as well as the precisest But now I see the Divel and my own deceitful heart deluded me so that my whole life hitherto hath been but a dream and that like a blind man I was running headlong to Hell when yet I thought my self in the way to heaven Just as if a beggar should dream that heweâ—e a King or as if a traitor should dream of his being crowned when indeed he was to be beheaded the case of Laodicea Rev. 3. 17. the young man in the Gospel Luk. 18. 20 21. and that Pharisee spoken of Luke 18. 11. 12. Sect. XXXV Convert It was not your case alone but so it fares with the worst of sinners Onely it much rejoyces me that it hath pleased God to open your eyes to see all this in your self For flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto you Yea wee are naturally so blind and deaf and dead in sin and in soul that wee can no more discern our spirituall filthinesse nor feel sin to bee a burden then a blind Ethiopian can see his own blackness or then a dead-man can feel the weight of a burthen when it is laid upon him Acts. 28. 27. Isay. 6. 9 10. And this common experience shewes for if you observe it who more socond confident and
AN Experimental INDEX Of The HEART In which as in a Looking-glass both Profane and Civil men may see enough to make them in love with Religion Being a most happie and providential Conference between two Friends after the ones heart was changed the which may both provoke and incourage all sorts of Sinners to read the same that in the least love themselves Drawn up and published for the good of all By R. YOUNGE of Roxwell in Essex Florilegus Add this as a Second Part to those Three Fundamental Principles of Christian Religion Intituled A short and sure way to Grace and Salvation Sect. XXVII ALoose Libertine meeting with his Friend that had lately been a Formal Christian he greets him as followeth SIR me thinks I have observed in you a strange alteration since our last meeting at Middleburrough nor onely in your behaviour company and converse but even in your countenance What is the matter if I may bee so bold Convert Truly Sir you are not at all mistaken nor am I unwilling to acquaint you with the cause if you can affoard to hear it Soon after my return into England I was carried by a friend to hear a Sermon where the Minister so represented the very thoughts secrets and deceitfulnesse of my heart unto my conscience that I could not but say of him as the Woman of Samaria once spake of our Saviour He hath told me all things that ever I did Which made me conclude with that Unbeliever 1 Cor. 14. 24 25. That God was in him of a truth nor could he ever have so done if he were not of God As the Young-man in the Gospel reasoned with the Pharisees touching Jesus when he had opened his eies that had been blinde from his birth Joh. 9. 32 33. Whereupon I could have no peace nor rest untill I had further commâ—â—ed with him about my estate for I found my self in a lost condition touching Eternity It faring with me as it did with those Jews Acts 2. when Peter by his searching Sermon had convinced them that Christ whom tâ—ey had by wicked hands crucified and slain was the onely Son of God and Lord of glory ver. 36. 37. And having had the happinesse to enjoy the benefit of his â—â—ge advice as I stood in need thereof God having given him the tongue of the learnâ—d to administer a word in season to them that are weaâ—y Isâ— 50. 4. I blesse God his word and Spirit hath wrought in me such a change and strange alteration â—hat it hath opened mine eies that were 〈◊〉 before inclined my will to obedience which before was rebelliâ—us softned my heart sanctified and quite changed my â—ffections so that I now love that good which before I hated and hate that evil which before I loved and 〈◊〉 deliâ—â—ted with â—hose holy exercises which heretofore did most displease me and am displeased wiâ—h â—hose vain plâ—asâ—â—es and filtâ—â—e sins which in times pâ—st did most delight me Which is such a mercie that no tongue â—s able to expresse For till that hour I went on in the broad way and worlds road to destruction without any mist ust whereas now God hath been pleased to take me into his Kingdom of grace here and wâ—l never leave me untill he hath brought mee to his Kingdome of glory hereafter Loose Libertine What you speak makes me wonder for I ever heâ—d you the compleatest man of my acquaintance just in all your dealings temperate and civil in your depoâ—tment yea I have never seen you exceed in the least nor heard you swear an Oath â—xcâ—pt faith and troth and that veâ—y rarely Besides you have been a good Protestant and gone to Church all your daies Convert What you speak none that know me can contradict nor could they ever accuse me of any scandalous crime or unjust act Yea I had the same thoughts of my self and should any one have told me formerly that I was such a great sinner such a Devil incarnate as I was I should have replied as Hazael did to the Prophet telling him of the abominable wickedness he would e're long commit What am I a Dâ— c. 2 Kings 8. 12 13. And no wonder for as every man in his natural condition is stark blind to spiritual objects 1 Cor. 2. 14. so the heart of man is deceitful above all things even so deceitful that none but God alone can know it as the Prophet shews Jer. 17. 10. But because this is a truth that transcends your belief and because it may be of singular use to you also to know the same I will give you a short character of my former condition the which done I doubt not but you will assent unto what I have â—itherto said or shall further relate Sect. XXVIII First touching my knowledge I mean saving knowledge without which the soul cannot be good as wise Solomon witnesseth Prov. 19. 2. it was such though I thought my self wiser then to make scruple of or perplex my self about matters of Religion as do the religious even as the King of Tyrus thought himself wiser then Daniel Ezek. 28. 3. that spiritual things were mostly represented to my understanding false and clean contrary to what they are indeed Like corporal things in a Looking-glass wherein those that are on the right hand seem to be on the left and those that are on the left hand seem to be on the right As it fared with Saint Paul while he was in his natural condition Acts 26. 9. which made me think and call evil good and good evil bitter sweet and sweet bitter to justifie the wicked condemn the just as the Prophet complains Isa. 5. 20 23. As for instance I most sottishly thought that I both loved and served God as I ought yea I should have taken it in four scorn if any one had questioned the same when indeed I was a Traitor to God and took up arms against all that worshipped him in Spirit and in truth I was so far from loving and serving him that I hated those that did it and that for their so doing I could also hear him blasphemed reproached and dishonored without being once stirred or moved at it I loved him dearly but I could never affoard to speak a word for him and likewise his Children intirely but instead of justifying them or speaking in their defence when I heard them scoft scorned abused by wicked ungodly men all my delight was to jeer at flight and slander them where ever I came I more feared the Magistrate then I feared God and more regarded the blasts of men's breath then the fire of God's wrath I chose rather to disobey God then to displease great ones and feared more the worlds scorns then his anger And the like of Christ that died for me a strong argument that I loved Christ when I hated all that resembled him in holiness Yea I so hated holiness that I most bitterly hated men for being holy insomuch that my
filiall fear idâ—e thoughts for holy thoughts vaiâ— words for holy and wholsome words flâ—shly works for works of righteousnesse even hating what I formerly loved and loving what I formerly hated But alas I have heard the Gospell day after day and year after year which is the strong arm of the Loâ—d and the mighty power of God to salvation That is quick and powerfull and sharper then any two-edged-sword and yet stood it out and resisted instead of submitting to Christs call even refusing the free offer of grace and salvation I have heard the word faithfully and powerfully preached for forty years yet remain'd in my naturall condition unregenerate without which new birth there is no being saved as our Saviour affirms John 3. 5. I had not troden one step in the way to conversion for the first part of conversion is to love them that love God 1 John 3. 10 11 14. I should dayly have grown in grace and in the knowledg of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ but I was so far from growing in grace that I had not one 〈◊〉 of grace or holinesse without which 〈◊〉 man shall see the Lord Heb. â—2 14. I was all for observing the second Table without respect to the first or all for outward conformity not at all for spirituall and inward holinesse of the heart Sect. XXXI Either what I did was not morally good for the matter or not well done for the manner nor to any right ends as out of duty and thankfulness to God and my Redeemer and out of love to my fellow members Without which the most glorious performances and rarest virtues are buâ—shining sins or beautifull abominations Gods glory was not my principall end nor to be saved my greatest care I was a good civill morall honest hypocrite or infidell but none of these graces grew in the Garden of my heart I did not shine out as a light by a holy conversation to glorifie God and win others Now onely to refrain evill except a man hates it also and does the contrary good is to be evill still because honesty without piety is but a body without a soul All my Religion was either superstition or formallity or hypocrisie I had a form of Godliness but denied the power thereof I often drew near unto God with my mouth and honoured him with my lips but my heart was far from him Isay. 29. 13. Mark 7. 2. to 14. Matth. 15. 7 to 10. All which considered viz. the means which God had afforded me and the little use I had made thereof left me in a far worse condition then the very heathen that never heard of Christ So that it was Gods unspeakable mercy that I am not at this present frying in Hell flames never to be freed God hath sent unto us all his Servanes the Prophets rising up early and they have been instant in preaching the Gospell both in season and out of season but my carnall heart hath ever been flint unto God wax to Satan you shall dye if you continue in the practice of sin I heard but you shall not dye as saith the divell I believed Sect. XXXII Besides all this suppose I had none of these to answer for neither sins of Commission nor sins of Omission yet Originall sin were enough to damn me no need of any more and yet my actuall transgressions have been such and so many and my ingratitude therein so great that it might have sunk me down with shame and left me hopelesse of ever obataining pardon for them As see but some small part of my monstrous divelish ingratitude to so good a God so loving and mercifull a Saviour and Redeemer that hath done and suffer'd so much for mee even more then can either be expressed or conceived by any heart were it as deep as the Sea Touching what God and Christ hath done for me in the first place he gave mee my self and all the Creatures to serve for my use yea he created me after his own Image in righteousness and holiness and in perfect knowledg of the truth with a power to stand and for ever to continue in a most blessed and happy condition But this was nothing in comparison for when I was in a sad condition when I had forfeited all this and my self when by sin I had turned that Image of God into the Image of Satan and wilfully plunged my soul and body into eternall torments when I was become his enemy mortally hating him and to my utmost fighting against him and taking part with his onely enemies sin and Satan not having the least thought or desire of reconcilement but a perverse and obstinate will to resist all means tending thereunto hee did redeem me not onely without asking but even against my will so making of me his cursed enemy a Servant of a Servant a Son of a Son an Heir and Coâ—-hâ—ir with Christ Gal. 4. 7. But how have I requited this so great so superlative a mercy All my recompence of Gods lâ—ve unto me hath been to do that which he hates and to hate those whom he loves Christ the fountain of all good is my Lord by a manifold right and I his servant by all manner of obligations First he is my Lord by the right of Creation as being his woâ—kmanship made by him Secondly by the right of Redemption being his purchase bought by him Thirdly of preservation being kept upheld and mainteined by him Fourthly his by Vocation even of his family having admitted me a member of his visible Church Fifthly his also had it not been my own fault by sanctification whereby to possesâ— me Lastly he would have me of his Couâ—t by glorification that he might crown me so that I was every way his God had raised me from a beggar to a great estate but how did I require him I would not if possible suffer a godly and conscientious Minister to be chosen or to abide where I had to do but to bring in one that would flatter sin and flout holiness discouraâ—e the godly and incourage the wicked I used both my own and all my friends utmost abilitie Much more might be mentioned buâ— I fear to be tedious Now argue with all the world and they will conclude that there is no vice like ingratitude But I have been more ingraceful to God then can be exprest by the best Oratour alive It was horrible ingratitude in the Jews to scouâ—ge crucifie Christ who did them good every way for he healed their diseases fed theiâ— bodies inlightned their minds of God became man lived miserably amongst them many years that he might save their souls but they fell short of my ingratitude to God in that most of them were not in the least convinc'd that he was the Mâ—ssias sent from God and promised from the beginning But I have not onely denied this Lord that bought me but I hated him yea most spiâ—efully and maliciously fought on Satans and sins
blood would rise at the sight of a good man as some stomachs will rise at the fight of sweet-meats I was a Christian in name but I could scoffe at a Christian indeed I could honour the dead Saints in a formal profession while I worried the living Saints in a cruel persecution I condemned all for Roundheads that had more Religion then a Heathen or knowledg of heavenly things then a child in the womb hath of the things of this life or conscience then an Atheist or care of his soul then a Beast I had alwaies the basest thoughts of the best men making ill constructions of whatsoever they did or spake as the Scribes and Pharisees dealt by our Saviour Sect. XXIX As O what a poor slave did I hold the man of a tender conscience to be yea how did I applaud my self for being zeallesse and fearlesse together with my great discretion and moderation when I saw this man vexed for his zeal that other hated for his knowledg a third persecuted for the profession of his Faith c. For being like Cain Ishmael Eliab Michol Pharaoh and Festus I thought their Religion Puritanisme their conscience of sin hypocrisie their profession â—issimulâ—tion their prudence policie their faith and confidence presumption their zeal of God's glory to be pâ—ide and maâ—ice their obedience to God's laws rebellion to Pâ—iaces their execution of juâ—ice cruelty c. If they were any thing devouâ— or forward to admonish others â—hat so they might pluck them out of the fiâ—e I conceived them to be besides themselvs as our Saviour was thoughâ— to be by his Kinsfolk and Saint Paul by Festus Mark 3 1. John 10. 20. Acts 26. 24. 1 Cor. 1. 18. My religion was to oppose the power of religion and my knowledge of the truth to know how to argue against the truth I never affected Christs Ambassadors that preached the glad tidings of salvation but had a spleen against them yea I hated a Minister for being a Minister especially if a godâ—y and zealâ—us one that spâ—ke home to my conscience and told me of my sins much more if he would not admit me to the Lord's â—able without trial and examination yea then like Ahab to Eliah I became his enemy and hated him ever after would impeach his credit and detain from him his dues And are not all these strong evidences thaâ— I loved and served God and my Redeemer as I ought But to make it more manifest what a rare Christian I was I thought my self a Believer yea I could boast of a strong faith when yet I fell short of the very Divels in believing for they believe the threats and judgments contained in the Word and tremble thereat James 2. 19. Wheâ—eas I thought them but Scar-crows to fâ—ight the simple withall yea I held Hell it self but a fancie not worth the fearing Because I was not notoriously wicked but had a form of godliness was civil c. I was able to delude my own soul and put off all reproofs and threatnings by comparing my self with those that I presumed were worse then my self as Drunkards Adulterers Blasphemers oppressors shedders of blood and the like counting none wicked but such Yea looking upon these I admired my own holiness and thought my moral honesty would be sufficient to save me Nor did I know wherein I had offended And whereas the Law is spirâ—tual and binds the heart from affecting no lesse then the hand from acting I was so blind and ignorant that I thought the commandement was not broken if the outward grosse sin be forborn Whence these were my thoughts I never brake the first commandement of having many gods for I was no Papist nor Idolater nor the second for I worshipped God aright nor the third for I had been no common sweaâ—er onely a few petâ—y oaths not the fourth for I had every Sabbath gone duly to Church not the fifth for I ever honored my parents have been a loyal subject not the sixth seventh eighth ninth or tenth for I never commiâ—ted murther or adultery never stole ouâ—hâ— never bare fals witness nor could I call to mind that I had at any time coveted my Neighbours wise servant estate c. And nothing more common with me then to brag of a good heart and meaning of the strength of my faith and hope of my just and upright dealing c. And because I abstained from notorious sins I thought my self an excellent Christian if God was not beholding to me for not wounding his name with oaths for not drinking and playing out his Sabbaths for not railing on his Ministers for not oppressing and persecuting his poor members c. Sect. XXX And yet had it been so as I imagined admit I had never offended in the least all my life either in thought word or deed yet this were but one haâ—f of what I ow to God this were but to observe the negative part of his law stâ—ll the affirmative part thereof I had been so far from performing that I had not so much as thâ—ught of it And to be just in the sight of God and graciously accepted of him these two things are required the satisfâ—ctory part to escape Hell and the meritorious part to get Heaven And the true method of grace is Cease to do evill Learn to do well Isa. 1â— 1â— 17. The Fig-tree was cursed not for bearing evill fruit but because it bare no good The evill Servant was not bound hand and foot and cast into prison for wasting his Masters goods but for not gaining with â—hem And those Reprobates at the last day shall be bid depart into eveâ—lasting fire not for wronging or robâ—ing of any but for not giving for not comforting Christ's poor members Mâ—th. 25. So that my case was most desperate For though with that Pharisee Luke 18. 11. I was apt to thank God and brag that I was just and paid every man his due yet I never thought of being holy and of paying God his dues as his due of believing or Repenting of new obedience his due of praying hearing conferring meditating on his word and works sanctifying his Sabbaths and instructing my Children and Servants teaching them to fear the Lord His due of Love Fear Thankfulnesse Zeal for his Glory charity and mercy to Christ's poor members and the like I should have served God in spiâ—it and according to Christs Gospell as all that are wise heaâ—ted do live and believe and hear and invocate and hope and fear and love and worship God in such manner as his word prescribes I should have been effectually called and become a new Creature by regeneration being begotten and born a new by the immortall seed of the Word I should have found an apparant change wrought in my judgment affâ—ctions and actions to what they were formerly The Old man should have changed with the New man worldly wisdome with Heavenly wisdome carnall love for spirituall love servile fear for Christian and
secure then the worst of sinners they can strut it under an unsupportable Mass â—f oaths blasphemies thefts murthers adulteries drunkness and other the like sins yea can easily swallow these spiders with Mithridates and digest them too when one that is regenerate shrinkes under the burden of wandring thoughts and want of proficiency But why is it they are dead in sin Ephes. 2. 1. Revel. 3. 1. Now lay a mountain vpon a dead-man he feels not once the weight To a Christian that hath the life of grace the least sin lyes heavy upon the conscience but to him that is dead let his sins be as heavy as a mountain of lâ—â—d hee feels in them no weight at all Again they are insensible of their fin and danger because ignorant for for what the eye seeth not the hear trueth not Security makes wordlings merry and therefore are they secure because they are ignorant A dunce wee know seldome makes doubts yea a fool sayes Solomon boasteth and is confident Prov. 14. 16. neither do blind-men ever blush And the truth is were it not for pride and ignorance a world of men would be ashamed to have their faces seen abroad For take away from mens minds vain opinions flattering hopes false valuations imaginatious and the like you will leav the minds of most men and women but poor shâ—unken things full of melancholly indisposition and unpleasing to themselves Ignorance is a vail or curtain to hide away their sins whereupon they are never troubled in conscience nor macerated with cares about eternity but think that all will be welâ— The divâ—l and the flesh prophesy prosperity to sin yea life and salvation as the Pope promised the powder-traitors but death and damnation which Gods spirit threaâ—eâ—s will prove the crop they will reap For God is true the divell and all flesh are lyers When wee become regenerate and forsake sin then the divell strongly and strangely assaults us as he did Christ when he was newly baptized and Pharoh the Children of Israel when they would forsake Egypt and Herod the Children when Christ was come to deliver his people Whence commonly it coms to pass that those think best of themselves that have least cause yea the true Christian is as fearfull to entertain a good opinion of himself as the false is unwilling to he driven from it They that have store of grace mourn for the want of it and they that indeed want it chant their abundance None so apt to doubt their adoption as they that may be assured of it nor none more usually fear then they that have the greatest cause to hope Wee feel corruption not by corruption but by grace and therefore the more wee feel our inward corruptions the more grace we have Contraries the neerer they are to one another the sharper is the conflict betwixt them now of all enemies the spirit and the flesh are neerest one to another being both in the soul of a regenerate man and in all faculties of the soul and in every action that springeth from those faculties The more grace the more spirituall life and the more spirituall life the more antipathy to the contrary whence none are so sensible of corruption as those that have the most living souls Sect. XXXVI Now for remedy of the contrary there cannot be a better lesson for carnall men to learn then this All the promises of God are conditionall to take place if wee repent as all the threatnings of God are conditionall to take place if wee repent not But wicked men as they believ without repenting their faith being meer presumption so they repent without believing their repentance being indeed desperation and this observe wee are cast down in the disappointing of our hopes in the same measure as we were too much listed up in expectation of good from them Whence these perremptory presumers if ever they repent it is commonly as Francis Spira an Advocate of Padua did and never did any man plead so well for himself as he did against himself One star is much bigger then the Earth yet it seems many degrees less It is the nature of fear to make dangers greater helps lesse then they are Christ hath promised peace and rest unto their souls that labour and are heavy laden and to those that walk according to rule Matth. 11. 29. Gal. 6. 16. even peace celestiall in the state of grace and peace eternall in the state of glory Such therefore as never were distressed in conscience or live loosly never had true peace Peace is the Daughter of righteousnesse Rom. 5. 1. Being justifyed by faith we have peace with God But hee who makes a bridg of his own shaddow will be sure to fall into the water Those blocks that never in their life were moved with Gods threatnings never in any straight of conscience never groaned under the burthen of Gods anger they have not so much as entred into the porch of this house or lift a foot over the threshold of this School of repentance Oh! that wee could but so much fear the eternall pains as wee do the temporary and bee but so carefull to save our souls from torment as our bodies In the mean time the case of these men is so much the worse by how much there fear is the lesse It faring with the soul as with the body Those diseases which do take away all sence of pain are of all others most desperate As the dead palsey the falling sickness the sleepy lethargie c. And the patient is most dangerously sick when he hath no feeling thereof In like manner whilst they suppose themselves to be free from judgment they are already smitten with the heaviest of Gods judgments a heart that cannot repent Rom. 2. 5. In a lethargie it is needfull the patient should be cast into a burning Fever because the sences are benummed and this will waken them and dry up the besotting humors So in our dead securety before our conversion God is fain to let the Law Sin Conscience and Satan loose upon us and to kindle the very fire of Hell in our souls that so we might be rowsed out of our security but thousands of these blocks both live and depart with as great hopes as men go to a lottery even dreaming of Heaven untill they awakein Hell For they too often die without any remors of conscience like blocks or as an Oxe dyes in a ditch Yea thousands that live like Laban dye like Nabal which is but the same word inverted whilest others the dear Children of God dye in distresse of conscience For it is not every good mans hap to dye like Antonius Pius whose death was after the fassion and semblance of a kindly and pleasant sleep However Saint Austins rule will be sure to hold He cannot dye ill that hath lived well and for the most part He that lives conscionably dyes comfortably and departeth rich And so you see how it fares with the wickedest and
worst of men Wherefore if you are truly sensible of your wretchedness it is a good sign that you are in some forwardness to be recovered and really to become so good as formerly you but dream'd or imagined your self to bee And indeed the very first step to grace is to feel the want of grace and the next way to receive mercy is to see your self miserable Therefore our constant and most diligent search should be to find out the naughtiness of our own hearts and to get strenght from God against our prevailing corruptions Sect. XXXVII Loose Libertine But is there any hope for one so wicked as I who have turned the grace of God into wantonesse applying Christs passion as a warrant for my licenciousness not as a remedy and taking his death as a licence to sin his â—ross as a Letters pattent to do mischief As if a man should head his dâ—um of rebellion with his pardon For I have most spiâ—efuâ—ly and maliciously taken up arms against my Maker and fought against my Redeemer all my daies Convert Do but unfainedly repent you of your sins and forsake your former evill wayes and lay held upon Christ by a trueâ— and lively â—aith my soul for yours God iâ— very â—eady to forgive them bee they neveâ— so many and innumerable for multitude never so haâ—nous for qualitie magâ—itude Yea I can shew you your pardon from the great King of Heaven for al that is past the which you may read at large Isai. 55 7. Ezek. 18. 21. to 29. and 33. 11. Jo l. 2. 12 13 14. Yea read 1 Cor. 6. 10 11. together with the story of Manâ—sses Mary Mâ—gdelen the Thief and the prodigall Son you shal see presidents thereof Yea the very murtherers of the Son of God upon their serious and unfained repentance and stedfast believing in him received pardon and salvation And indeed dispaiâ— is a sin which never knâ—w Jesus True every sin deserves damnation but no sin shall condemn but the â—â—ing and contiâ—uing in it True Repentance is ever blest with forgiveness And know this that Gods mercy is greater then thy sin what ever it bee you cannot be so infiâ—ite in sinning as he is infinite in pardoning if you repent yea sins upon repentance are so remitted as if they had never been committed I will put away thy transgressions as a cloud and thy sins as a mâ—â—t Isay. 44. 22. And what by corruption hath been done by repentance is undone As the former examples witness Come and let us reason togâ—ther saith the Lord though your sins be as scarlet they shall be as white as snow Isai 1. 18. Yea whiter then snow For the Prophet David laying open his blood guilâ—inâ—ss and his Originall impurity useth these words Puâ—geme with Hysop and I shall be clean wash me and I shall be whiter then snow Psal. 51. 7. And in reason did Christ come to call sinners to repentance and shall he not shew mercy to the penitent O who would not cast his burthen upon him that desires to give ease As I live saith the Lord I would not the death of a sinner Ezek. 18. 32. and 33. 11. Onely apply not this sâ—lve before the ulcer be searcbed to the bottom Lay not hold upon mercy untill you be throughly humbled The onely way to become good is first to believe that you are evill and by accusing our selvs wee prevent Satan By judging our selvs wee prevent God Are wee as sick of sorrow as wee are of sin then may wee hopefully go to the Physitian of our souls who came into the world onely to cure the sick and to give light to them onely who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death God does not power the oyl of grace but into a broken and contrite heart Wouldest thou get out of the miserable estate of nature into the blessed estate if grace and of Satan's bondslave become the childe of God and a member of Christ Wouldest thou truly kâ—ow thine own heart and he very sensible how evil and wicked it is that so thou maist have a more humble conceit of thy self lay to heart these three particulars 1. The corruption of our nature by reason of Original Sin 2 Our manifold breach of God's righteous Law by actual sin 3. The guilt and punishment due to us for them both This being done thou wilt see and find thy necessity of a Redeemer And it is thirst onely that makes us relish our drink hunger our meat The full stomach of a Pharisee surcharged with the superfluities of his own merits will loath the hony-comb of Christ's righteousness This was it which made the young Prodigâ—l to relish even servants fare though before wanton when full fed at home No more rellish feels the Pharisaicall heart in Christs blood then in a chip But O how acceptable is the fountain of living waters to the chased hart panting braying The blood of Christ to the wearie and tyred soul to the thirsty conscience scorched with the sence of Gods wrath hee that presents him with it how welcome is hee even as a speciall choise man one of a thousand And the deeper the sence of misery is the sweeter the sence of mercy is Sect. XXXVIII Then if you would be satisfied for time to come whether your Repentance and conversion be true and sound these particulars will infallibly informe you If you shall persevere when this trouble for sin is over in doing that which now you purpose it is an infallible sign your repentance is found otherwise not If thou dost call to minde the Vow which thou madest in baptisme and dost thy indeavour to perform that which then thou didst promise If thou dost square thy life according to the rule of Gods word and not after the rudements of the world If thou art willing to forsake all sin without reserving one for otherwise that one sin may prove the bane of all thy graces even as Gidion had Seventy sons and but one Bastard and yet that bastard destroyed all the rest that were Legitimate Judg. 9. 5. Sin is like the Ivie in the wall cut off bow branch body stump yet some strings or other will sprout out again Till the root be pluck't up or the wall be pulled down and ruined it will never utterly die Regeneration or new birth is a creation of new qualities in the soul as being by nature onely evil disposed God's children are known by this mark they walk not after the flesh but after the spirit Rom. 8. 1. If Christ have called you to his service your life will appear more spirituall and excellent then others As for your fails 't is a sign that sin hath not gained your consent but committed a rape upon your soul when you crie out to God If the ravished Virgin under the Law cried out she was pronounced guiltlesse A sheep may fall into the mire but a swine delights to wallow in the mire Great difference between a