downe he looked all over his waies And as Zachary saith When the people shall looke unto him whom they have pierced and consider the nature of their sinnes then shall they mourne Note that this clear sight of sin may appeare in two particulars First a man must see his sinne nakedly in its owne proper colours we must not looke upon sinne through many mediums through profits pleasures and the contentments of this world for so we mistake sinne but the soule of a true Christian that would see sinne clearely he must strip it cleane of all content and quiet that ever the heart hath received from any corruption and the heart must looke upon sinne in the danger of it as the adulterer must not looke upon sinne in regard of the sweetnes of it nor the drūkard upon his sinne in regard of the contentment that comes thereby nor the covetous man in regard of the profit that comes by his sinne you that are such the time will come when you must die and then consider what good these sinfull courses will doe you how will you judge of sinne then when it shall leave a blot upon thy soule and a guilt upon thy conscience what wilt thou then thinke of it we must deale with sinne as with a serpent we must not play with a serpent as children doe because it hath a fine speckled skinne but fly from it because of the sting so must we deale with sinne a prophane gallant will prophane the Sabbaths because otherwise he should be counted a puritane Looke not at the speckled skin of sinne but how thou canst answere for thy sinne before God especially seeing the Lord saith I will not hold that man guiltles that blasphemes my name of what place or condition so ever he be Looke now on the nature of thy sinnes nakedly Secondly we must looke on the nature of sin in the venome of it the deadly hurtfull nature that it hath for plagues and miseries it doth procure to our soules and that you may doe partly if you compare it with other things and partly if you looke at it in regard of your selves First compare sinne with those things that are most fearefull and horrible As suppose any soule here present were to behold the damned in hell and if the Lord should give thee a little peepe hole into hell that thou didst see the horror of those damned soules and thy heart begins to shake in the consideration thereof then propound this to thy owne heart what paines the damned in hel doe indure for sinne and thy heart will shake and quake at it the least sinne that ever thou didst commit though thou makest a light matter of it is a greater evill then the paines of the damned in hell setting aside their sinne all the torments in hell are not so great an evill as the least sinne is men begin to shrink at this loath to go downe to hell and to be in endlesse torments Now I will make it good by three reasons that sinne is a greater evill then those torments and plagues which the damned in hell do indure The first reason is this That which deprives a man of the greatest good must needs be the greatest evill nature saies so much that which deprives a man of all that comfort and happinesse wherein the soule finds most content that must needs be the greatest euill of all but sinne onely deprives a mā of the greatest good for the good of the soule is to have an heart united unto God and to have fellowship with him to have him salvation through him to be one with the Lord this is the chiefest good of the soule All things here below are made for the good of the body and the body is made for the good of the soule and the soule is made for God and these things here below are only so farre good to us as they are meanes to make us enjoy a nearer communion with God and contrarily riches and honours and profits and pleasures are as so many curses to us if by them our hearts be withdrawne from God The reason why God is estranged from us it is not because we are poore or pursued or imprisoned or the like but it is sin that breakes the union betweene God and us as the prophet Esay saith Your sinnes have separated betweene you and your God Now that which separates from God which is the chiefest good it is our sinnes it is not punishment that takes away the mercy of God from us but a proud rebellious heart and the contempt of Gods ordinances Therefore sinne is farre worse then all the plagues that the damned doe or can suffer Secondly because there is nothing so contrary and opposite against the Lord as sinne corruption and this is the reason why God is the inflicter of all the punishments of the damned in hell it is through the Iustice of God that they are damned because God is of such a pure nature that sinne cannot be in him nor practised by him Thirdly because it is sinne that doth procure all plagues and punishments to the damned and therefore being the cause why they suffer it must needs be greater then all punishments for all punishments are made miserable by reason of sin therefore sinne is a greater evill then all the miseries of the damned If a man were in prison and had the peace of a good Conscience his prison would be a pallace unto him and though a man were in shame and disgrace and yet have the favour of God there were no misery in him so it is with sinne if no man suffer but for sinne then sin is a greater evill then all other punishments as being the fountaine from whence they flow Now let us looke upon sinne through these things and when our corrupt heart provokes us and the world allure us the devill tempts us to take any contentment in a sinfull way suppose we saw hell fire burning before us and the pit of hell gaping to swallow us and sinne inticing of us and let us say thus to our soules It is better for a man to be cast into the torments of hell amongst the damned then to be ouercome with any sin and so to rebell against the Lord. Now therefore if those plagues and punishments make the soule shake in the consideration of them Oh then blesse thy selfe so much the more from sinne which is the cause all plagues whatsoever Were a man in hell and wanted his sinnes the Lord would love him in hell and deliver him from all those plagues But if any man were free from all punishments and in honour and wealth if he were a sinfull and wretched creature the Lord would hate him in the height of all his prosperitie and throw him downe to hell for ever Secondly we must see sinne simply as it is in it selfe in regard of the proper worke of it it is nothing else but a
and stubbornnes be such vile sins in others then they are so in me and as there must be a sight of our personall particular sinnes so Secondly the soule must be set downe with the audience of truth and the conscience of a sinner should be so convicted as to yeeld and give way to that which is knowne as not seeking any shift or way to oppose that truth which is revealed his particular apprehension of sin is like the inditement of a sinner before God and his conviction is that which brings the soule to such a passe that the heart will not nay it dares not nay which is more it cannot escape from the truth revealed As when a man is only arested and no more he may escape therefore it is not enough particularly to arest the soule and bring it under command that it cannot shift from the truth revealed When the Lord comes to make rackes in the hearts of such as he meanes to doe good unto the text saith he will reprove the world of sinne that is he will convince the world of wickednesse he will set the soule in such a stand that it shall have nothing to say for it selfe he cannot shift it off for there is in every mans heart naturally such corrupt carnall pleading that it labors to defeat and put by the worke of the word that it may not come home to the heart As a man in battaile array labours to put by the blow that it may not hit his body so it is with a corrupt heart when the word comes home to the soule as it doth sometimes into the heart of a drunkard or an adulterer or a murtherer and the word of God seemes to stabbe the heart they put by the word of God by carnall shifts and so breake the power of it that it cannot have its full blow upon the soule and so the word takes no place to any purpose in them Now this kind of knowledge takes away all shifts that the soule hath nothing to say for it selfe and pluckes away all defence that the edge of the word cannot be blunted but that it will fall flat on the heart this is that I would put to your consideration punctually When there is that wisedome and knowledge revealed to the soule so powerfully that it prevailes with the heart and it gives way thereto so that all the replies and pleas of the soule be taken away and the soule falls under the stroke of the word not quarrelling but yeelding it selfe that the word may worke upon it and withall there is a restlesse amasement put into the heart of the creature and a kind of dazeling the eye so that the soule is not content now before it see the worst of his sinne that is revealed and then it lies under the power of that truth which is made knowne these two make it plaine The minister saith God hates such and such a sinner and the Lord hates me too saith the soule for I am guilty of that sin Many times when a sinner comes into the congregation and attends unto the ordinary meanes of salvation if now the Lord be pleased to work mightily at last the mind is enlightned and the Minister meets with his corruptions as though he were in his bosome and he answereth all his cavills and takes away all his objections With that the soule begins to be amased to thinke that God should meet with him in this manner and saith If this be so as it is for ought I know and if all be true that the Minister saith then the Lord be mercifull unto my soule I am the most miserable sinner that ever was borne Give me leave to open a passage or two this way Suppose there be an ignorant creature that knoweth nothing and he thinkes God will pardon him because he is so he need not consider of this or that which the minister calls upon him for see what God saith to such in Esay It is a people of no understanding therefore he that made him will not have mercy on them and he that formed them will shew them no favour You thinke to carry all away with ignorance but the God of heaven will shew you no pitty and he that made you will not save you When a poore soule begins to consider of this he that made us wil save us Will he not no he will not Not one of you not your wife nor children nor thy servant this drives the soule into amazement when the Lord works this truth in him and he frequents the ordinances more diligently and saies if it be so my case is fearefull In conclusion he finds every minister saith so and all writings confirme it and he seeth it is so indeed and it is the will and way of God Then the soule is cast and saith I see this is just my estate and condition therefore woe to me that ever I was borne This is right conviction and though his carnall neighbours come to him and beginne to cheere him up and say The Lord is more merciful then men are ministers must say something c. If the heart be truly convicted it returnes this answere and saith I have thought as you doe but now I see there is no such matter these are but figtree-leaves and will not cover my nakednesse It is true Christ came to save sinners and he came to humble sinners too he came to bind up the heart and he came to break the heart too This is a great part of the spirit of bondage spoken of Rom. 8.15 Wee have not received the spirit of bondage to feare againe When God hath revealed a mans bondage to him So that sees he himselfe bouÌ„d haÌ„d foot for marke it so long as a man keepes in these carnall shifts he is not in bondage But when he is once in bondage and fetterd he saith If ever any had a proud heart I am he If ever any were prophane I am he And if ever God hated such wretches he hateth me Now there is no escape there is no plea at all he will not go away say there is no such matter Ministers many say what they will No no the soule that is truely conuicted of sinne yeelds it selfe and saith I have sinned Oh what shall I do unto thee thou preserver of men saith Iob as if hee had said Lord I have no plea at all to make nor no argument to alledge for myselfe I onely yeeld up the bucklers I cannot say so bad of my selfe as I am I have sinned Lord what shall I doe unto thee Oh thou preserver of men thus it is with a heart truely convicted and throughly informed of the vilenesse of sinne he doth not withdraw himâ—elfe and play least in sight but he saith this is my condition just the Lord met with my heart this day God resists the proud prophane in heart and he resists me too I have heard much and would not be informed
therefore it is just with God to harden my heart for ever the Lord hath come ofteÌ„ with many loving perswasions to allure me draw me to him If the devill had had the meanes that I have had he would have been moved and more bettered by theÌ„ then I have beene and have done more then I have done I have hated and despised all and to this day I have not beene brought upon my knees shall not Christ rule over me and yet save me No it cannot be except I can bring my necke under the yoke of the Lord Jesus Christ it is not possible I should be â—aved by him I excuse not my selfe Lord nay I confesse I know more then all the men in the world can speake by me and I yeed to all this and more what shall I say I have sinned O thou preserver of men The reason why and how it comes to passe that God deales thus with poore sinners is taken from the office which the Lord hath placed between the heart the man the ground lies thus There are two things in the soule First you conceive and understand a thing Secondly you will and choose it The first is the inlet of the heart so that nothing can affect the heart but so farre as reason conceiveth it and ushers it home to the soule thereupon the heart as the King hath his Councellors which call all matters before them and consult about businesse then they bring them before the King to have a finall sentence from him to know what he will have and what he will not have So the understanding is like the Counsellors and the will is the Queene the understanding saith this or that is good then the will saith let me have it the understanding saith these and these duties are required and the will imbraceth them the understanding conceives what sinne is and the will saith these and these evills have I done and they will cost me my life if I repent not As it was with Iob when his Oxen and Cattell were taken it never troubled him because he never knew it but when he heard of it by the messengers he said Naked came I out of my mothers wombe There must be a messenger before he can be grieved for the evill So it is with the soule of a sinfull creature the Devill hath made a prey and a spoile of him thou camest into the world in Adam wise holy and gratious but he hath made thee unholy and ignorant and thou considerest not this till God by his Ministers opens thy eyes and makes thee see plainely that the Image of sinne and Satan is upon thee and that God is now become thy enemie and that now thou goest on in the way to destruction and art become the heire apparant of hell And when these evill-tydings come to the understanding that leaves them upon the heart and will of a man and so lets it worke effectually upon it as God doth blesse the same as Paul saith I know that through ignorance they did it if they had knowne the Lord of life they would never have crucified him This is the cause why we commit sin because we see it not and therefore we sorrow not for it As it is with some hot Clymates in the world though there be never so much heat in the sun yet if there bee no entrance for the heat into the house it will not scorch nor heat any so the understanding is like the doore or entrance into the house and sin is of a fiery scorching nature if there be no passage and if the minde know not and if the will affect not sin it will never scorch his conscience though a man carry sin enough in his bosome to sinke his soule for ever yet wee suffer it not to worke upon us and wee attend not to it because the brazen wall keepes it off as the proverb is that the eye never sees the heart never rues Because we see not our evills and discern not our sinnes so clearly as we should therefore it is impossible we should be touched for them as we ought to be The first use is for instruction from the former truth delivered we may learne that an ignorant heart is a naughty heart and a miserable wretched heart whether it be out of ignorance that cannot or out of wilfulnesse that men will not apprehend their conditions both are marvelous sinfull and miserable I desire to deale plainly in this point because I know there are many that doe flatter themselves in their conditions and thinke all is well with them I will say nothing of the cause but I appeale to the hearts of all that heare me this day your selves shall be judges in these particulars Imagine you did see a poore sinner come before you and lay open his condition and bewaile it with bitternesse saying that for his owne part he never did find his heart touched for his sinnes nor sorrow for his corruptions did ever enter into his soule but he hath lived senselesse and carelesse for this wounding of spirit he counted it a wonder for this humblenes of heart it was ever a ridle unto him let any one passe sentence upon this man now and tell me seriously what do you thinke of such a person I heare me thinkes every man reason thus and every mans heart shakes at it saith Good Lord what a senselesse poore ignorant creature is this If no humbling for sinne no pardoning for sinne and no share in Christ no salvation What is this a good heart that is not in the way to receive any good If a man be never broken for sinne God will never bind him up and if never humbled and burthened for his sinne God will never ease him of it Therefore woe to that soule that is thus miserable and accursed I beseech you passe this sentence against your selves Oh brethren the hearts of men are past this brokennesse of spirit nay they are enemies to it they never had their judgments cleared and convicted of their sinnes and therefore their hearts were neuer broken and this brokennesse is so farre from their heart as it never came into the head we thinke not of the foule nature of sinne Doest thou thinke this to be a good heart that was never humbled prepared for Christ alas it is so farre from being truly wrought upon that it was never in any way to pertake of mercy from God therefore thy condition is marvellous miserable thy misery is as great as thy sinne if not greater because when a sinfull creature is wounded and gauled for his sinne there is some hope he may be cured and helped but an ignorant soule is not capable of it he is in hell and seeth it not he is under the power of Satan and thinkes himselfe at liberty nay for the present he is uncapable of any good from the meanes appointed to that end It is with an ignorant
soule as it befell the drunkard that was asleepe on the toppe of the mast who feares no harme because he sees it not So it is with a sinfull heart he is resolved to goe on still in his sinne because he seeth not the danger take a man that hath his heart stabbed with a stilletto and the wound is so narrow that it cannot be searched there is no meanes to come to it Just so it is with a blind ignorant heart there is much meanes whereby good might be done to it but an ignorant heart barres all out so that nothing can doe good to the soule All counsels admonitions reproofes cannot prevaile all mercies allure not because they find no sweetnesse in them a Minister is as able to teach the stoole whereon he sits as to doe them good Me thinks it is with a world of men that live in the bosome of the Church as it is with such as have suffered shipwracke they are cast upon the waves and their friends are standing upon the shoare and see them and mourne for them there they see one sinking and another floating upon the waves even labouring for his life and they sigh and mourne but cannot helpe him Just so it is with ignorant people that are swallowed up with the floods of iniquitie here is one man going and there another in the broad way to destruction we pitty them and pray for them that God would open their eyes and give them the sight of their sinnes but alas they are not able to conceive of any thing We cannot come at them thus they sinke in their sinnes Our Saviour looking over Jerusalem said Oh that thou hadst knowne at least in this thy day the things that belong unto thy peace but now they are hidden from thine eyes As if he had said oh now they are sinking they will not be reformed nor reclaimed now they are going the way of all flesh and to hell too the way of peace is hidden from their eyes they refuse the meanes that may doe them good I might here condemne the Papists that say ignorance is the mother of devotion whereas it is the breeder of all wickednesse and the broad way to hell and everlasting destruction The use is this as you desire the comfort of your soules and to be prepared for mercy and to pertake of that rich grace that is in Christ as you desire to have the rich promises of the Gospell put over to you as ever you would have the Lord Jesus Christ a guest to your soules you are to be entreated to give your soules no content til you have your eyes so opeÌ„ed to see your sins that you may be convicted of them Now it may be some will say it is good that you say but what meanes must we use to come to this sight of sinne Answ. I answere to such poore soules give me leave to doe three things First I will shew some meanes how we may come to see sinne convictingly Secondly I will take away all the lets that may hinder a man from it Thirdly I will use some motives to stirre us up to use the meanes and set upon the service though it be somewhat harsh and tedious to our Corruptions The meanes are three First we must goe to God for knowledge the Lord knowes our hearts therefore we must goe to him that he would make us able to know them too the Church of Laodicea thought none like her selfe as it is the fashion of many in this age so to doe and therefore the Lord said thou thoughtst thy selfe rich and full and that thou didst want nothing It is an argument of a proud sinfull heart that he is alwaies wel conceited of himselfe and of his owne wit grace and sufficiency but marke what the Lord saith to this Church I counsell thee to buy of me eye-salve She thought all her compters to be good gold all her appearances to be good Religion but the Lord bids her buy of him eye-salve As if he had said you see not your sinnes and therefore goe to God and beseech him that dwels in endles light to let in some light into your soules When the poore blind man Bartimeus sate begging by the way saying O thou son of David have mercy upon me and pressed earnestly on our Saviour in so much that when his disciples rebuked him he cryed so much the more O thou sonne of David have mercy on me and when Christ said what wouldst thou have me to do for thee he answered Lord that I may receive my sight If he did so earnestly seeke for his bodily eyes much more should we for the eyes of our soules that we may see our sinnes A blind mind brings a wicked heart with it and laies a man open to all sinnes and therefore we ought to be more pinched for the want of this sight Object then of our bodily eyes and if the question be asked what wouldst thou have honour riches or the like Answ. Answere O Lord the sight of my sinnes I know sin is a vile loathsome thing O that I could see sinne convictingly and clearely Secondly labour to acquaint your selves throughly with God and with his law and to see the compasse and breadth of it the words of the commandements are few but there are many sins forbidden in them and many duties required therefore labour to see thy sinnes convicted and thy many duties neglected The Apostle Paul thought himselfe once alive without the Law and who but he in the world he was able to carry all before him he thought his peny good silver but when the Law came saith the text then sinne revived when God had opened my eyes to see my sinne and the corruptions of my heart then I saw my selfe a dead man yet Paul was a Pharisie and brought up at the feet of Gamaliel and one that did keepe the Law of God in a strict maner Whence we learn that a man may be an ignoraÌ„t man be his parts never so great for humane learning and the â—ame Apostle saith I had not knowne lust except the law of God had said thou shalt not lust by which is meant the tenth commandement which forbids the secret distemper of the heart though there is no delight and consent to it who but Paul and yet he knew it not and therefore no wonder though many otherwise well learned are ignorant in Gods Law therefore looke your selves in this glasse of the word all you that say how ever you are not able to talke so freely as others yet you have as good a heart to God as the best I tell you if you could but see the filthinesse of your hearts you would be out of love with your selves for ever An ignorant heart cannot but be a naughty heart Thirdly binde your hearts to the peace and good behaviour and be willingly content to take every truth that is revealed without quarrelling
and I would have a man to bind his heart hand and foote that they may not dare to have any brabling against the revealed will of God that so what ever truth is delivered though never so crosse and contrary to our corrupt nature the soule may be willing to be under the blow of it and let the strength of the word come full upon the heart And this will make us feelingly to understand our conditions as in Iob when God had taken downe his proud heart see how he submits himselfe Behold I am vile what shall I say I will lay my hand upoÌ„ my mouth I have sinned but I will go nâ— further as thogh he had reasoned thus with himselfe I have I confesse pleaded too much for my selfe I have made more shift for my selfe theÌ„ was needfull I have gainsaid thy word but now no more Now if any man seeme to quarrell take up armes against the truth of God let that man know he was never truly huÌ„bled for his sins It is a sinfull rebellious spirit that carries it selfe thus against God his word the shifts whereby the soule labours to beate backe the power of the word may be reduced to these three heads First the soule hath a slight apprehension of sin and thinketh that it is not so hainous and so dangerous as those hot spirited ministers beare men in hand this is usually the common conceit of all men naturally and even of us all more or lesse to make a slight account of sinne and that for these foure respects First in respect of the commonnesse of it because that every man is guilty of it we slight it what saith one Good now what then are not all sinners as well as we though we have many faylings yet we have many fellowes If we were drunkards or whoremongers then it were somewhat Thou sayest true indeed thou hast many fellowes in thy sinnes and thou shalt have share with many fellowes in the punishment to come there is roome enough in hell for thee and all thy fellowes hell hath opened her mouth wide nay the more companions thou hast had in thy sinnes the more shall be thy plagues Quest. O saith one all the world lies in sinne and we doe no more then the world doth Answ. But if the world lies in sin Christ never prayed for the world and he will never save the world What a senselesse thing is this to be such a 〈◊〉 as God hates Is this all thy pleasure that thou art a hater of God What ods is it for a man to be stabbed with a penknife or with a speare or for a man to be murdered in the streets or in his bed so though thy sinnes be not hydious blasphemies and the like yet if they be petty oathes they are enough to sinke thy soule It is not your great swearer but no swearer shall come into the Kingdome of heaven the text saith not no great liers shall enter into heaven but no liers shall enter into heaven What differeÌ„ce is there between a man that goes to hell for open rebellion and a man that goes to hell for civill profession and what difference is there betweene an open adulterer and a secret adulterer Quest. But some will say are not all sinfull by nature and are not some saved and why not I as well as others Answ. For answer I say no man is saved by nature but if any be saved the Lord opens his eyes and breakes his heart and so it must be with thee too if ever thou thinkest to receive any mercy from God Secondly there is also a naturalnesse in a sinfull course and they say it is my nature and infirmity and I am of a cholericke disposition I shall sometimes sweare when I am angry and I cannot but be drunke sometimes when I light into good company Quest. What would you have of us Saints on earth Answ. I either Saints or Devills never sanctified never saved never pâ—rged never glorified as the Apostle Saint Iohn saith He that hath this hope purgeth himselfe as he is pure he striveth with his whole endeauour to be pure and alwayes he hath a respect to all Gods commandemeÌ„ts And as the author to the Hebrewes saith pursue faith and holinesse without which no man can be saved If thou dost say if it were an honour to pray in my family if Gentlemen and Knights did it I would doe it I tell thee if holines doth seeme to fly away by disgrace persecution theÌ„ you must pursue it Nay dost thou say it is thy nature to sinne Then I say the greater is thy wickednesse if it be thy nature so to doe We hate not a man because he drinkes poyson but we hate a â—oad because it is of a poysonus nature therfore rather mourne the more for thy sinnes because it is thy cursed nature so to doe And say Lord did only temptations or the world allure me to this there were some hope that thou wouldest have mercy upon me but O Lord I have a cursed nature and though there were no Devills nor world no temptations outwardly yet this cursed nature of mine would sinne against thee They that have received Christ have a new nature and therefore if I have a carnall corrupt nature then my condition is most fearefull And say did temptations the world allure me then there were some hope of mercy but it is my nature to sinne and therefore my estate and condition is most miserable wretched Oh wretched man that I am who shall deliver me from this body of death Thirdly many say words are but winde and all this winde shakes no corne And so when we presse men to the inward worke of the soule not onely to keepe men from the halter but to tell them they must pull downe their proud hearts and be humbled for their sinnes and the like then they reply thoughts flie away suddenly and thoughts are free To which I answer these words are such winde as will blow downe thy soule into the bottomlesse pit of hell It is not I that say so but our Saviour himselfe By thy words thou shalt be justisfied and by thy words thou shalt be condemned though you make nothing of your swearing and idle thoughts and revilings of Gods people yet the God of heaven will require them at your hands and you shall either receive acquittance from Christ of them or else vengeance for ever for them For the Lord commeth with thousands of his Saints in flaming fire to punish not onely murtherers and adulterers and the like but all ungodly ones the Lord will call thee to an accompt for all thy abominations nay for all thy speeches against the people of God upon thy ale-bench when thou diddest tosse theÌ„ too and fro and the Lord will set thy sinnes in order before thee nay he will call thee to an accompt for them for all thy thoughts though
their corruptions but keepe the corruptions still As Ahab did he hated Micaiah and afterwards he fasted and prayed that he might sinne more freely without suspition So there is many a cursed hypocrite that lives in a faire course and yet will cheat and lie and deale marvelous unjustly and then he will complaine of his sinne and confesse only to bath his sins but drown his sins subdue them he will not and this he doth that he may sinne more freely againe it is but fasting and praying c. O brethren it is a desperate hypocrisie that sorrow which God hath appointed as a meanes to purge out sinne should be a meanes to cover his sinne will a few wambling teares doe the deed and breake the heart is this acceptable sorrow you your selves are ashamed of this work and do you thinke God will accept of it No no it is not the rending of the garments nor the weeping of the eyes that will doe the deed but you must breake your hearts If you only cut off the legs or wings of a fowle it will live for all that so you cut off the armes or hands of sinne but so long as the heart is not wounded and driven to any amazement for sin it will live with you here and in hell too Oh doe not cozen your owne soules it is not the teares of the eye but the blood of the heart that your sinnes must cost and if you come not to this never thinke that your sorrow is good and therefore you that finde your selves guilty lay your hands upon your hearts say Good Lord this is my portion the Lord knowes I have confessed my sinnes and yet have taken liberty to sin but my heart was never burthened with this evill and vilenesse of sinne and therefore to this day I never had this true sorrow There is a third sort of sorrowers which is the worst of all they are such as heretofore have drunke deepe of this sorrow and have beene extraordinarily strucken and yet they are grown so much the more hardened in their sinnes by all these blowes that God hath layed upon them these are in a desperate condition even such as God hath made howle in the congregation yet afterwards fall into the same courses againe and returne to their old byas and now they can out-face God and his ministers and all and thinke it a matter of basenesse to be disquieted in heart as they have beene such novices and children they were once that they could not sleepe nor be quieted but now they care not what all the ministers under heaven say against them nay they can fleare in our faces and be drunke and vile be never troubled for it they have gottē the skill of it This is the most fearfull condition that almost a poore creature can fall into Thou accountest it thy glory and credit that thou canst beare all and art metall of proofe and no bullets can pierce thee thou wast troubled before but now thou hast shaken it off This I say is thy shame will aggravate thy condemnation nay I take it to be one of the forest tokens under heaven of a gracelesse heart If thou hast had thy conscience awakened and hast beene troubled for sin and now dost fly off It is a signe of Gods high displeasure towards thee thou takest the right course as if God had invēted a way to destroy thy soule as you may see in Esay Go thy waies saith the Lord Speake to this people but they shall not heare make the heart of this people fat as though he had said there are a company of people in such a place Goe thy waies to them open their eyes and touch their hearts and awaken their consciences and when thou hast done then let their consciences be feared and fatted and then they will goe the right way to destruction for if they would awaken and sorrow kindly and repent I must needs save them Let these men remember that it is a heavy signe God hath forsaken them me thinkes this should trouble their soules exceedingly force them to cry out I am the man that have my heart fatted and would not be touched and converted Now if all be true that I have said there are but few sorrowers for sinne therefore few saved here we see the ground reason why many fly off from Godlinesse and Christianity This is the cause their soules were only troubled with a little hellish sorrow but their hearts were never kindly grieved for their sinnes If a mans arme be broken and disjoynted a little it may grow together againe But if it be quite broken off it cannot grow together so the terrour of the Law affrighted his conscience and a powerfull minister unjointed his soule and the Judgements of God were rending of him but he was never cut off altogether and therfore he returnes as vile and as base if not worse then before and he growes more firmly to his corruptions It is with a mans conversion as in some mens ditching they doe not pull up all the trees by the roots but plash them so when you come to have your corruptions cut off you plash them and do not wound your hearts kindly and you doe not make your soules feele the burthen of sinne truly this wil make a man grow and flourish still howsoever more cunningly and subtilly This lopping professor growes more subtle in his wickednesse the soule that hath beene terrified for his lusts hee is now growne a plashed adulterer and Alehouse haunter hee will be drunke more cunningly and secretly and so he that hath beene an open opposer of Gods children will now jibe and jeast at them in a corner and when he comes amongst his old companions then hee can vent out all his malice This is the reason why all wicked men that were in some good way of preparation of soule they turne their backs upon Christ even because they were never cut off kindly from their sinnes but only unjointed and that is the reason why they fall to their old corruptions againe This is the maine cause of all the hypocrisie under heaven there was never any soule that made profession and fals againe but the ground of it is here The third use is for exhortation If every sorrow will not doe it and if slight sorrow will not doe it what then remaines to be done then if ever thou wouldest be comforted and receive mercy from the great God labour to take the right way and never be quieted til you do bring your hearts to a right pitch of sorrow let it never be said of as it was of you them in Hosea They have not cried unto me with their hearts whē they how led upon their beds they assembled themselves for corn wine but they rebell against me Thou hast a little slight sorrow but oh labour to have thy heart truly touched that at last it may breake in regard of
the bottome And let me advise you to this when your soules are wrought upon by any reproofes or admonitions take that truth and labour to maintaine the power of it upon your hearts all the weeke after and let your soules be awed by it Thirdly consider what thy soule findes to be most evill and detestable whether it be poverty or disgrace or losse of liberty and then marke what I say get up thy heart higher in the very apprehension of sinne as it is sinne and let thy soule be more affected with the vilenesse of sin then of any other hardship whatsoever As thus suppose thy heart be vere proud if shame and disgrace befal thee oh how doth this heart shake in the apprehension of it he can live no longer except some honour come Now sinne is worse then shame therefore looke up to heaven say oh my heart did shake with shame but sinne is farre worse for what if the Lord take away my honour that he hath promised to such as feare his name and what if he blot my name out of the booke of life therefore sinne is worst of all this is certaine there is no evill the soule feares or finds but sinne is the cause of it but the separation of the soule from the Lord is the greatest evil and sinne is the cause of it and therefore rest not till thy soule shake in the apprehension of it This is the next way to be above punishment or any thing else Now I come to the fruits of godly sorrow which are from these words They said to Peter the other Apostles Men and brethren what shall wee do In these words there are three things presumed and three things plainly expressed First there are three things presumed they did see themselves in a miserable and damnable condition as if they had said hell is now gaping it is but turning of the ladder and we goe to hell for ever Men and brethren what shall we doe Secondly they themselves were ignorant and could not direct themselves what to doe to come out of this estate and therefore they said Men and brethren advise vs what to doe if there be any help yee know it Yet still there is a secret kinde of hope and the heart suspects that it may and will be otherwise with them they doe not say there is nothing to bee done no they say What shall we doe surely there is some way to finde helpe if wee could tell it Againe there are three things plainly expressed in these words they make an open and plaine confession of their sinnes when they were sicke at the hearâ— they could make open confession and lay the hand upon the sore and say If there be any vile wretches under heaven we are they Secondly a thorough resolution against their sinnes and a hatred of the same as if they had said We are resolved to doe any thing whatsoever it is we care not so we may thwart our sinnes The last thing expressed is a sequestration of the soule from this sinne the soule falles off from them and bids farewell to all cursed courses First I come to the three things presumed and because I shall have occasion afterward to handle the two former Therefore now I come to the last of the three which is this Men and brethren What shall we doe Surely there is some course to bee taken Is there not you that are Gods Prophets tell vs if there be any hope for such poore distressed sinners as we are So the Doctrine is this there is a secret hope of mercy wherewith God supports the hearts of those that are truly broken hearted for their sinnes howsoever these men did see themselves miserable yet they did not throw off all say Men and brethren there is no hope for vs therefore we will heare no more but seeing we must go to hell we wil take our pleasure while we live here in the world while we may and if we must bee damned we will be damned for some thing No these people had some hope that they should finde mercy the Lord bruised the heart but he did not breake it the Lord will not quench the smoking flaxe but kindles it further and the Lord drawes on the worke of the soule and pluckes it to himself and makes it looke vp to him and waite vpon him for helpe and mercy I confesse it is true that sometimes the soule in some desperate fit and in some horrour of heart when temptation growes violent long and the distempers of a mans heart stir exceedingly then a man may seeme to cast of all and resolve with Dauid when he had beene long persued by Saul I shall one day fall by the hand of Saul So the soule sayth God will one day leaue me and I shall perish And as Dauid sayth in another place All men are lyers that is they sayd I shall be King of Israel but they are all deceived They all lyers but it was in his haste in a proud impatient haughty humour of soule This is our nature if God buckle not to our bow and heare us not even when wee will then in a proud humor wee are apt to say oh my sins will never be pardoned and I shall never get ground against my corruptions a man that is in a swoune lies as if he were dead but yet he comes to himselfe againe and lookes up and speakes So how ever the soule in some unruly humor is driven to a swoune and thinkes it impossible to finde mercy or overcome his corruption yet still he recovers againe and the soule that is truly broken for sinne is upheld as Ionas said I am cast out of thy preseÌ„ce I am eveÌ„ sinking yet will I looke towards thy holy temple So howsoever the soule may be over-whelmed in a drunken fit of pride or impatience yet aftes the soule hath prayed it saith I will wait upon God for mercy God deales with poore sinnners in this case as men doe that pound pretious powder as Bezar stone or the like to make some potion withall they will breake it and pound it all to pieces yet they cover it up close and will not loose the least sand of it as they breake it so they keepe it close that none be lost So when God doth purpose to doe good to your soules he will breake you and melt you and then you thinke he hath cast you off in his anger No no he is pounding of you but he will preserve those soules notwithstanding and will not lose such poore sinners whom he purposeth to doe good unto As it is with pocket dyâ—ls a man may shake them this way and that way but they are still northward by vertue of the loadstone so there are many shakings in the soule sometime it feareth God will not be mercifull he sometimes hopes that he will thus it is tossed to and fro but still it is heaven-ward there is a
profest opposing of God himselfe a sinfull creature joynes side with the devill and the world and comes in battaile array against the Lord and flies in the face of the God of hosts they are called haters of God Psam 83. That is when they see grace in another man in such a man and in such a woman and hate them for it little doe they thinke that they hate the God of heaven and his holy nature and if it were possible they would have no God in heaven to take notice of their sins call theÌ„ to account for them as the wise man Gamaliel said to the Pharesies and elders refraine your selves from these men and let them alone for if this Counsell or worke be of men it will come to nothing but if it be of God you cannot destroy it lest you be found fighters against God you make nothing of opposing the Gospell and preaching thereof I tell you that there is never a creature that lives in any such sinfull course but he is a fighter against God and he resists the Lord as really as one man doth another And as Stephen saith You stifnecked and uncircumcised in heart you have resisted against the holy Ghost You must not thinke that you resist men onely no poore creatures you resist the Spirit and so aime at the Almighty in opposing of the meanes of grace What a fearefull condition is this I pray you in cold blood consider this and say thus Good Lord What a sinfull wretch am I that a poore damned wretch of the earth should stand in defiaÌ„ce against the God of hosts and that I should submit my selfe to the devill and oppose the Lord of hostes And as you resist the Lord so you doe also passe the sentence of condemnation upon your selves and seale up that doome which one day shall be executed upon the wicked in hell at that great day of accompt that looke what God shall do theÌ„ the same thou dost now by sinning this is the doome or as I may say the necke verse of the wicked and the last blow as now thou doest depart from God by sinning so then thou shalt depart froÌ„ God for ever A wicked man forsakes God and pluckes his heart from under the wisdom of God that should inform him in the way of life and the soule saith God shall not blesse me God shall not be God unto me but I will live as I list and I will run down post hast to hell and when our hearts beginne to rise against God and his ordinances and your soules beginne to goe against the Lord I tell you what I would thinke with my selfe suppose I heard the voice of the Archangell crying Arise yee dead and come to Iudgement and the last trumpet sounding and the Lord Jesus comming in the heavens with his glorious Angells and did see the Goats standing â—â— the left hand and the Saints on the right hand and with that I did heare the terrible sound Depart ye cursed would you be content to heare that sentence passe against your soules Oh what lamentation and woe your poore soules would make in those dayes and therefore consider it well and say that I doe that in sinning which the Lord will doe in the day of Judgement shall I depart from the Lord and withdraw my selfe from mercy and say Christ shall not rule over me and save me shall I doe that against my selfe which the Lord shall doe in that day God forbid There are two things hardly knowne what God is and what our sinnes are or else we hardly apply the knowledge of them to our selves Objects But some will object and say if sinne be so vile in it selfe then why doe not men see it Answ. To this I answer the reason why men see not their sinnes though it be so vile it is mainely upon these two grounds First because we judge not of sinne according to the word and verdict of it but either in regard of the profit that is therein or the pleasure that we expect there from The Usurer lookes on his profit that comes by sinne and the adulterer his pleasure and Iudas saw the money but he did not see the malice of his owne heart nor the want of love to his Master and this made him take up that course which he did but when he threw away his thirtie pence the Lord made him see the vilenesse of his sinne it came cleerly to his sight and therefore he cryed out I have sinned in betraying innocent blood As bribes blind the eyes of the wise and pervert judgment so sin bribes the eyes of the soule and therefore the Tradseman seeth much profit come by cozening false measures and so gives way to himselfe therein but he sees not the sin so the oppressor seeth the morgages pawnes that come in but he cannot see his sin till he be laid on his death bed and then the Lord sheweth him all the wrong that he hath done Secondly another reason why we see not the vilenesse of sinne is because we judge the nature of sinne according to Gods patience towards us as thus a man commits a sin is not plagued for it and therefore he thinkes God will not execute judgements upon him at all all things continue a like saith the wicked man as if he had said you talke of the wrath of God that shall be revealed froÌ„ heaven against all ungodlines where is the promise of his comming doe you not see that such a man is an oppressor a prophane persoÌ„ yet growes rich and thrives in the world and because God spares a wicked man still for the present therefore he thinkes all are but words he shall be free from the punishment to come as the Prophet saith in the name of the Lord These things hast thou done and I kept silence when thou wast upon thy Ale-bench and there thou didst speake against holinesse and purity and because I did beare yet and say nothing therfore thou speakest wickedly that I was even such a one as thy selfe The wicked man takes Gods patience to be a kinde of allowance to him in his sinne as the wise man saith because sentence against an evill worke is not speedily executed therefore the hearts of the sonnes of men are wholy set in them to doe mischiefe as the Prophet saith they call the proud happy ye that worke wickednesse are set to doe evill they that tempt God are delivered As who should say you say that the wrath of God is incensed against swearers and drunkards and the like but we see them prosper and because they doe prosper thus their hearts are set to worke wickednes but howsoever it is true the Lord doth sometime beare with wicked men the longer God staies the greater account they shall make and the heavier judgements they shall receive from God See what Iob saith thou sealest up my transgressions in a bagge and
they are sudden and quickely passed over as the Prophet Ieremiah saith O Ierusalem wash thy heart from wickednesse how long shall thy vaine thoughts remaine in thee Whatsoever men thinke of thoughts yet they are the very life and sinewes of sinne and they are brought forth by meditation of a mans corruptions in this kinde A man may sinne more in thought then in any other kinde whatsoever both in regard of the vilenesse of sin and his unavoydablenesse thereof A theefe cannot robbe all the towne but a covetous man may wish all in the towne were hanged that he might have their goods and so an adulterer cannot commit sinne with every woman in the towne but he may lust after both the godly and prophane and he may commit adultery both with the chast and unchast too in his thoughts A man may sinne infinitly in this kinde and never have done for no company nor place can hinder an adulterer from sinning and lusting nor the malicious man from envying in his heart nor the covetous man from desiring the goods of other men Though thou darest not cut the throat of a minister yet thou canst malice all the ministers in the countrey Fourthly the soule hath a strange inward resolution of â—leaving to sinne whatsoever can be said or done to the contrary And this inward resolution of the soule hath a delight in corruptions though he die and be damned for the same this plucketh the heart from the word and layeth so many mists upon the understanding that it cannot see the truth when the soule hath nothing to say for it selfe it falls to open and profest reviling of Jesus Christ and defying of him and hence it is that after many good arguments the soule stands as it were at a set and saith I will not beleeve it though there were five thousand Ministers to perswade me to it and why doth he so hath he any argument to alledge No not a word but he that is proud will be proud and he that is a swearer will sweare and will not make conscience of any thing this comes from a proud and a sturdy heart When Ieremiah would have convinced the people of their sinnes and of the punishments threatned to them they said Thou speakest falsly there is no such matter So it is with many a carnall heart now a dayes if the minister of God will not please their phantasies then all the businesse is they knew all this before when as indeed they knew nothing at all Therefore saith God Take heed there be not in any of you a root of bitternesse if the soule heareth the law and blesseth himselfe in his wickednesse and saith I shall have peace though I walke after the imaginations of my owne heart the Lord will not spare that man but the Ielousie of the Lord shall smoake against him this roote of bitternesse is nothing else but sin and a resolution to continue in it For the Lord Jesus sake consider this there are too many of these in the Congregation wilt thou not beleeve Gods word I tell thee thou deniest almost that there is a God and thou renouncest the Lord Jesus Christ and salvation by him thou saiest in effect there is no God and that there is not any meanes of grace revealed What devillish blasphemy is this Let me speake to the terror of all such hearts hell never entertained any such thoughts the devils in hel for ought I know have not any such profest resolutions the devils beleeve and tremble the devills beleeve that the Scriptures are the word of God and they know there is infinit mercy in God but they shall never tast of it and they know all the plagues threatned shall come upon them and they snake and tremble at the remembrance of it What do the devills consent to the word of God conceive of it and know that it is the truth of God and shall be made good upon them Then good Lord of what a strange temper art thou that wilt not beleeve it that wilt not consent that it is true the devill is not worse then thou art in this case I must confesse that the consideration of these passages sometime makes the soule of a poore minister shake within him and were it in my power as it is not the first worke that I would doe should be to humble and breake the hearts of all such vile wretches but all that I can or will doe is this that which the holy man Moses spake and he spake it with a marvellous caution you that never came to the height of this horrible contempt take heed that there be not any man among you that saith It shall goe well with me whatsoever the minister saith It is as much as your soules are worth and to such as are guilty of this sinne I wil give the same counsell that Peter gave to Simon Magus who had a base esteeme of the gifts of the Spirit O saith Peter pray that if it be possible the thoughts of thy heart may be forgiven thee It is a fearefull thing it is a marvellous opposing of grace And for you whose eyes God hath opened goe home consider of the miserable estate of all such as lie in this sinne goe to prayer and send up requests in the behalfe of all such poore creatures and say Is it so Lord that there are many such who have the name of Christians that will not be reformed nor humbled good Lord that many that have the name of Christians will not come in thy word will not prevaile nor take place in their hearts Good Lord breake their hearts in pieces breake in upon them and let thy word overcome them in mercy and compassion and bring them to the true knowledge of sinne here and happinesse hereafter And thus much of the first Cavill Secondly the soule saith I confesse I see more now then ever I conceived of before I did not conceive that sinne was so haynous and so dangerous as it is Now I see it is marvellous great and dangerous yet this is my hope that whatsoever falls it will not light upon me and therefore what need I care I hope to prevent it and then all will be well When the word comes faire full upon the conscience of a man and would pierce his heart and meets him in every place as the angell did Balaam he will have some fetch or other to put by the word and he saies I hope for all this the danger shall not fall upon me Now the way that the soule useth to put by the word and to prevent the danger threatned appeares in these three particulars The first is this how ever sinne is never so vile in it selfe and he is guilty thereof yet he thinks the God of heauen doth not attend to his sinnes or else he is not so just or righteous that he will punish him for them Indeed if he were some
notorious wretch as a murtherer or an adulterer or a theef or such like then he had cause to feare but God will not bring him to an account for every smal sin That this is the sleight of the soule I will shew you and then shew you how to avoid it It is ordinary with every carnall heart more or lesse to reason as Eliphaz with Iob How doth God know can he judge through the darke thicke cloudes are a covering to him that he seeth not he walketh in the circuits of heaven It is the guise of wicked men to say so Nay it is that which the hearts of Gods people are driven to a stand withall when they consider the passages of wicked men now God seeth them and doth not punish them they say How doth God know and Is there knowledge in the Almighty When the Prophet saw the way of the wicked to prosper their eyes to start out with fatnesse he saith Doth God see this and not punish it as if he had said Did God care for all that is done here below could he brooke such strange oppositions of his word and his gospell and his members I doubt not but that there is many an adulterous heart that thinkes a darke night shall cover all his abominations and the malicious man that contrives evill against Gods children he thinkes that God considers not his course or else that God will not trouble himself to execute Judgement upon him for all his sinnes As the Prophet saith The Lord will not doe Good nor Evill he is marvelous quiet he will not trouble himselfe neither for the good that doth befall nor for the evill that is deserved by us Nay this is the bane of our ministery when people heare of many Judgements denounced against sinne and sinners I tell you what they thinke of all this they thinke they are words of course If the adulterer or drunkard did consider that no such person should inherit the kingdome of heaven durst they goe on surely no. But they thinke they are but the words of some hot spirited minister to awe and scare men and keepe them in compasse and they will not be perswaded but God is more mercifull then so that he should punish for every small sinne they thinke this is more then reasonable Let him make speede saith the wicked that we may see it and let the Counsell of the most High draw nigh that we may know it As if they had said You ministers tell us much of Gods wrath against Ierusalem let us see those enemies and let the word of the Lord come to passe now all these words are but winde c. These are the carnall cavills of gracelesse persons To which I answer It is desperate ignorance and marvelous Atheisme of heart whereby the devill labours to keepe men in sin the Lord knowes thy thoughts long before if thou wouldest hide thy selfe from the Lord in the darke the day and the night are all one with him nay the Lord will search Ierusalem with candles the word in the originall signifies to tracke her Nay he will not leave searching till he finde thee out for the wayes of man are before the Lord and he ponders all his doings and if our hearts condemne us God knoweth all things and is greater then our hearts Doth thy Conscience checke thee for vaine thoughts and cursed devices then God knoweth much more by thee then thou knowest by thy selfe God did see Achan stealing the wedge of Gold and David in his adultery and he seeth all the malice of thy heart against his Saints and all thy uprising of heart against Gods word Nay the Lord seeth all the prankes of the adulterer in the darkest night and God is just to bring all things to judgement and thee also to an accompt for them In vaine it is for wicked men to digge deepe to hide their counsell from the Lord These things hast thou done said God and I kept silence and therefore thoughtest I was altogether such a one as thy selfe but I will reprove thee and set all thy sinnes in order before thee You must not thinke God is so gentle No he will set all your sinnes in order before you if not here for your humiliation yet hereafter for your everlasting confusion the drunkard shall then see all his pot companions and the adulterer his mates and the unjust person all his trickes nay God wil not bate thee one thought of thy heart be where you will God will finde you out with his judgements and say Lo here is thy pride here is thy murther here are all thy abominations this is the wretch that could carry fire in the one hand and water in the other these are thy sinnes and this shall be thy punishment Secondly if God be so mighty say they that he knowes all Object and will call us to an accompt for all then it is but sorrowing so much the more and that we will doe afterwards and this will make all well enough it is but repenting Answ. To this I answer Doe you make a but at it be not deceived God is not nay cannot be mocked and therefore delude not your owne soules every repentance will not serve the turne thou mayest have remorse of heart and repent and cry to God for thy sinnes and this tormenting of thy heart will be but a forerunner of thy everlasting damnation hereafter the Lord may deale with thee as Moses said of the people of Israel You returned and wept before the Lord but he would not hearken to your voice So the time may come that all weeping and wailing will not serve the turne You see Iudas wept and brought backe the thirty pieces of silver he had marvelous horrour of Conscience he tooke shame to himselfe and made restitution and yet a damned creature for ever Thou that thinkest it such an â—asâ—e matter aske thy owne heart this question Canst thou bee content to lay open all thy cursed sinfull courses and all the wrong that thou hast done Consider what a hard matter it is to bring thy heart to it to confesse all thy close adulteries and when thou hast done all this thou mayest be as farre from salvation as Iudas was who went and hanged himselfe therefore it is not every sorrow will serve the turne and bring comfort to thy soule but it must be repentance of the right stampe And againe dost thou thinke thou hast repentance at command this is that which cuts the throat of mens soules and deprives them of all the benefit of the meanes of grace thou art not sure though thou shalt live thou hast power of thy selfe to repent savingly and shall any man be so senselesse as to hang his happinesse on that which cannot help him If thou didst consider thy owne weakenesse thou wouldest not say that repentance is in thine owne power Remember what the Apostle saith Proving if peradventure
would thinke this man to be in a miserable condition And yet all this is but a beame of Gods indignaâ—tion If the beames of Gods wrath be not hot what is the full sunne of his wrath when it shall sease upon the soule of a sinfull creature in full measure The third consideration is this Nay yet if thou thinkest to lift up thy self above al creatures and to beare more then they all then set before thine eyes the sufferings of the Lord Jesus Christ he that creats the heavens and upholds the whole frame thereof when the wrath of God came upon him onely as a surety he cries out with his eyes full of teares and his heart full of sorrow and the heavens full of lamentations My God my God why hast thou forsaken me Oh thou poore creature if thou hast the heart of a man gird up the loines of thy mind and see what thou canst doe Doest thou thinke to beare that which the Lord Jesus Christ could not beare with so much sorrow Yet he did indure it without any sinne or weaknesse he had three sippes of the Cuppe and every one of them did sinke his soule and art thou a poore sinfull wretch able to beare the wrath of God for ever Now beloved seeing all objections are answered and the things made plaine labour to do that which you may have comfort in Submit your selves to the good word of the Lord and not only be willing and coâ—tent to be thus enlightned but labour for it that thou maiest prevent the Judgements deserved by the same Now that I may the better prevaile with you consider these three motives first it is the only old way to heaven for God never revealed any other but this way in the old law the only way for the leaper to be cleansed was to come out into the congregation and to cry I am uncleane I am uncleane This leaper was every sinner this meanes of curing was the sight of his sinne and as he did so must every sinner confesse his sin take shame to himselfe and say It is my proud heart and this my loose life c. This true sight of sinne is the only doore to life and salvation who would not goe that way which is the right the ready way if ever you receive mercy at the hands of the Lord it must be by this way or not at all I pray you take heed and doe not find a shorter cut to heaven the further you goe the contrary way the further you must returne back againe this hath cozened many a man more then he doth imagine As a traveller when he is loath to goe through some filthy lane he will breake through the fence and goe through the meadow that he may save the foule way at last when he hath gone up and downe and cannot get out againe he is forced with much losse of time to goe backe againe and goe through the lane So it is with many sinfull wretches in the world and this hath cost them deare They will not goe this way by sorrow for sinne to see the filthinesse thereof and their cursed abominations but they will have a new way to receive mercy comfort from God yet at last they are driven to a stand and then they will heare the minister of God and when he saith Christ came to seek and to save that which was lost that is those poore sinners that saw themselves lost and consider the plagues of their heart And when Christ workes savingly he opens the eye and awakens the conscience and a man must confesse before he can find mercy then the soule saith I never saw this worke upon my soule I was never lost No where broke you over then you would needs to heaven a new way you are like the thorny ground that would receive the word with joy Nay I le assure you you must come backe againe and see all those abominations which have been committed in secret by you and discover them or else there is no meanes to come unto life Let us search try our waies saith the Church you must not thinke that Christ will pardon all and you doe nothing No first see your sinnes and then you shall receive mercy pardon for them Secondly the worke by this meanes will bee much more easie then at another time If thou once get thy conscience convicted and thine eyes opened the worke will goe on clearely and easiâ—y Many of Gods people will strike in with you and many good Christians will pitty you and pray for you and you shall have many helps this way and therefore is it not better now to have your conscience awakened when you may have helpe then afterward when there is no remedy When any of Gods people fast or pray they will remember you what saith one Doe you know such a man yes very well what is he oh he was the most shamelesse drunkard that ever the sun did see or the earth beare Was he so oh but now God hath opened his eyes and awakened his conscience he was never so frolike before but now he is as much wounded now his heart is broken his conscience flies in his face It were good to remember him though he hath beene a wretch and a profest opposer of Gods people yet let us remember him Yes that I will I know his burthen is great I have found it and I hope so long as I have a knee to kneele and a tongue to speake I shal remember him And then they pray for him and say Good Lord who can beare a wounded soule Good Lord thou hast humbled him and made him see himselfe vile and miserable let him see thy mercy in Christ. What a comfort is this to have a whole countrey pray for him in this maner Object But some will object and say This is something dangerous and drives men sometimes to a desperate stand and therefore is it not farre better to be as we are and not to awake this severe Lion A man cannot conjure downe his conscience when it is up once Answ. To this I answere you must see your sinnes that is the truth of it doe not thinke to put it off the Lyon will roare and that conscience will be awakened one day it is better to be awakened now then to have your eyes opened in hell when there is no remedy Thirdly set upon this worke the issue will be very successefull oh what a comfort will it be to a poore soule in the time of death when he shall come to render up his soule into the hands of God that all his sinnes are wiped out And then to heare those glad tidings from heaven Be of good comfort poore soule thou hast seen thy sinnes therefore I will not see them thou hast remembred them and mourned for them therefore I will never plague thee for them Who would not see his sinnes that Christ may cover them in that
inlightened and touched thou wilt be much contended and comforted as David said to Abigail when shee came to disswade him from going against Nabal to destroy him she said Vpon me my Lord be this iniquitie why Blessed be God saith David that sent thee this day to meet me and blessed be thy counsell which hath kept me this day from comming to shed blood and avenging my selfe So if thou hast a good heart thou wilt not goe away repyning and fretting at the word and say the minister meant me crosseth me Take heed of this tempter of heart and if God bee pleased to carve out to any man those particular fruits that concerne his good goe away and blesse the Lord say blessed be his good word and his poore servant that met this day with my sins I never observed that pride I never observed that malice I never discovered that carelesse what became of Christ I cared not what became of his ministers I respected not what became of his name I regarded not but the Lord hath shewed me my sinnes and blessed be God for that good worke which hath beene communicated to my soule by his servant And observe this so farre as the heart is fearfull that the minister should meet with his sins so farre the heart is naught Nay if it be thus if your consciences testifie against you that you are loath to have your sinnes dealt roundly withall you thinke the ministers should be mild and not use such bitter reprehensions and sharpe reproofes I beseech you thinke of it seriously you deale with your sinnes in this kind as David did with Absalon when Ioab was to goe out he gives him charge to use him kindly and gently that is doe not kill him but take him prisoner that was his speech deale kindly for my sake with the young man Absalon Dost thou deale so with thy sinnes thou wouldest have the minister deal kindly with drunkennesse and adultery and malice do not kill drunkennesse but only take him prisoner keep him in reforme the outward face of drunkennesse that we may not be drunken in the open streets but in a corner and so that men may not sweare at every turne but when they come among gentlemen that they doe it cunningly The case is cleare thy soule if it be of this temper it never hated sinne it never sorrowed for sinne it never found the word of God working upon it for the subduing of sinne Imagine there were a traytor or rebell come into the towne that sought to take away the Kings life nay suppose he were thy enemy or the like will any one say that man hates an enemy that cannot endure to have an enemy discovered attached and brought to execution No sure but he loves him he covers him he hides him and would not have him knowne he is a lover of a traitor and a traitor himselfe else why doe you harbour a traitor you cover him that he cannot come to judgment and therefore you are a friend unto him so it is in this case Canst thou say that thou hatest sinne thou hatest malice and covetousnesse and loosenesse and prophanesse and in the meane time thy soule saith I cannot endure that the minister should discover these I cannot endure that he should attach them and arrest my soule for my covetousnesse and adultery and the like My heart riseth and I would cover it and hide it nay I can beare it out sometimes and say the traytor is not here I am not the drunkard I am not the adulterer you talke of but if the minister will pursue thy soule then thou shuttest the doore against him If it be thus with thee I tell thee thou art a friend to the traytor thou never hatedst thy sinne thou wert never yet brought to a true sight or sorrow for it Wee will now proceed When they heard this saith the text the word in the originall caryeth a continual act when they had heard there was not an end but the sting of the word did still stick in their hearts When they walked on the way that sounded in their eares I have crucified the Lord of life and when they lay downe that came into their mindes I have shed the blood of the Lord and when they arose this was their first thought I have consented thereunto and imbrewed my hands therein this stucke upon the spirits of thē and the sting of the truth would not away but after they had heard it it remained still in their hearts The doctrine is this that serious meditation of our sinnes by the word of God is a speciall meanes to breake our hearts for our sinnes After they had heard this notes a continuall action the truth of God still stuck in their stomackes the arrowes of God would not out the Apostle shot some secret shot into their soules which came home to their hearts and consciences when they heard this that is the musing and meditating and pondering of this when they could hold no longer they could beare no more but came to the Apostles and said what shall we doe Sometimes God brings a man into the Church to carpe at the minister and to see what he may have against him now if the Lord sting the conscience of that man he will heare you all the weeke after and say me thinkes I see the man still he aymed at me he intended me and me thinkes I heare the word still sounding in mine eares he is alwaies meditating on the word in this kind And a serious meditation of sinne discovered by the word is a special meanes to pierce the soule for the same this is the power of meditatiō whē David had considered the glory of wicked men how their eyes started out with fatnes and they had more then heart could wish and who but they in the world they were not troubled they were not molested then he thought they were the only men in the world when he had considered and mused of this it pierced his soule and he was vexed with it this went to the very intrailes of him and therefore that place is marvelous pregnant It was the meanes whereby Lot was so touched with the abominations of Sodome that righteous man dwelling among them in seeing hearing vexed his righteous soule from day to day with their unlawfull deeds Many saw and heard besides Lot and yet were not vexed but he vexed himselfe that is the meditation of those evils bringing them home to his soule vexed him and troubled him and the word is a fine word implying two things first the search and examination of a thing Secondly the racking and vexing a man upon the triall So it was with Lot he observed all the evils he weighed them and pondered them and then he racked his soule and vexed himselfe with the consideration of them the same word that is used here for vexing is used in the matter of a storme
of the soule be sucked up Meditation breakes the soule and layeth waight upon the soule in this case It is a passage remarkable of Peter the text saith when our Saviour told Peter that before the cock crew twice he should deny him thrice in the last verse of the chapter the second time the cocke crew Peter remembred the words of our Saviour when he thought therupon he went out and wept bitterly the word in the originall is this the holy man catcht all together and heaped all the circumstances together and reasoned thus the cocke crowes now I remember the words of Christ oh what a wretch am I that should deny such a master that called me such a master as found me such a master as was mercifull unto me when I never saw my selfe nor my sinnes he plucked me out from my sinnes It is that master I have denyed he came to doe me good to save me and I have denyed him Nay even at a dead lift if ever I should have defended him I should have defended him now if ever stood for him I should have stood for him now but to deny my master and forsweare him that I should do it an Apostle beloved an Apostle thus honored that I should doe it when I professed the contrary what such a master denied by me such an Apostle at such a time before such persons and forced to it by such a silly maiden All these sinfull circumstances the manner of them the nature of them the haynousnesse of them the holy Apostle laid all these to his heart and his heart sunck under these circumstances thus gathered together and he went out and wept bitterly Looke as it is in war were there many scores that came against an army they might be conquered or many hundreds might be resisted but if many thousands should come against a small army it would be in danger to be overcome Meditation leadeth as it were an army of arguments an army of curses and miseries and judgements against the soule how ever one misery or plague will not downe but a man may brooke it and goe away with it yet meditation brings an army of arguments and tells the soule God is against thee wherever thou art what ever thou dost And then the heart begins to cry out as Elisha's servant did Master what shall I doe what so many sinnes and so haynous and so many judgements denounced and shall fall upon me for them Lord how shall I doe how shall I be delivered from these pardoned for these thus meditation brings home sin more powerfully to the heart The second argument is this as meditation brings in all bills of account so secondly meditation fastens sinne upon the consciences of those to whom the word of God is spokē more strōgly in so much that the soule cannot make escape from the truth of God delivered and from the judgements of God denounced against him Sometimes when men heare the word and threatnings denounced then their hrarts are touched and they goe away resolved not to commit sinne as they have done But when they are gone it workes not but the heart recoyles againe and goeth to his owne course againe The reason is because you meditate not on the word It is with the word as with a Slave if a man have never so good a salve which will helpe a soare in foure and twentie houres if a man shall doe nothing but lay this salve to the wound and take it off it would never heale the wound and no wonder Why he will not let it lie on the best salve under heaven will not heale a sore and eate out a corruption unlesse it be bound on and let lie So it is with the good word of God many a soule heareth the word of God and his heart is touched for his sinne and his conscience beginnes to be awakened but when he goeth out of the Church all is gone his affections die and his heart dies and his conscience is not touched no wonder you will not hold the word to your soules you heare sinne and not heare it you wil see sinne and not apprehend it and therfore it is that the word over-powers not your corruptions Do you thinke the salve will work when you keepe it not on The word of God is the salve conviction of Conscience is like the binding on of the salve meditations like the binding of it to the sore remember the truth which touched thee first and keep that on let nothing take it away from thy minde hold that good word close to the soule and it will keepe thy heart in the very same temper after the delivery thereof as it was in the delivery The Apostle Iames compares a slight hearer to a man that lookes his face in a glasse slightly that forgets himselfe what visage he had but saith Who so looketh unto the law of liberty and continueth therein he being not a forgetfull hearer but a doer of the word this man shall be blessed in his deeds the Law of liberty is the Law of God and this Law being a glasse You must not onely heare and be gone and slight and neglect it but you must continue in looking and then you shall see the complexion of your sinnes and the vilenesse of your corruptions when the drunkard heareth the basenesse of his sinnes and the adulterer the basenes of his abominations they looke themselves slightly in the glasse of the Law But they must carry away the glasse with them and looke themselves still the adulterer must say I am a prophane creature and my heart is polluted Conscience defiled and this soule hardned and I shal be damned if a man should thus looke and view his sinnes and carry away the glasse with him continually he would see his life so ugly and his heart so base that he could not be able to beare it If the pills be never so bitter yet if a man swallow them suddenly there is no great distast but if a man chaw a pill it wil make a man deadly sicke because it is against the nature of it so our sinnes are like these pills they goe downe somewhat pleasantly because we swallow downe our oathes prophannes our malice and contempt of God and his ordinances and we make it nothing to mocke at the religion of God and the professors of it you swallow downe pills now but God will make you chaw those pills one day and then they will be bitter Though the swearer swallowes down his oathes now yet at last the Lord will make him remember that he will not hold him guiltlesse but araigne him at the day of judgement and make him cry guilty at the barre and againe will make you chaw over your malice you hated the Lords word and the workes of his Spirit and this will condemne you Againe meditation doth beset the heart of a man that he cānot escape wheresoever he is meditation brings
those things to his minde the plagues due thereunto so that he cannot escape the dint therof It is the nature of our own hearts that we are loath to read our owne destiny which will be our bane and confusion meditation calls over the thoughts of a man tells him the reasons are good the arguments found the Scripture plaine thy sinnes evident Conscience you know it therefore heart you must doe it saith meditation take heed of drunkennesse saith meditation you heard what the minister said these sinnes are against God and the wrath of God is gone out against you for these sinnes these will be your bane and will bring you to everlasting destruction And when meditation doth thus yawle at the heart the minde still musing and the heart still pondering of sin at last it is weary therefore unburdened therewith the issue of the argumēts is this if meditation brings in sin more powerful more plainely to the soule if it be that which binds and fastneth it and setleth it upon the soule then the point is cleare that serious meditation of sinne is a special meanes to bring a soule to the sight and sorrow for sinne The uses are three the third is the maine we will presse on unto it If it be so that meditation is thus powerfull and profitable both for contrition of the heart and to bring in consolation to the heart then what shall we thinke of those men that are unwilling to practice this dutie nay what shall we thinke of that untowardnesse of heart which is in us against the command of this duty It is a word of reproofe against this practice and it falls marvelous heavy upon us all more or lesse in this kinde for we are marvelous guiltie in this kinde that we are tardy in this duty a man had as good bring a Beare to the stake as a carnall heart to the consideration of his owne wayes much more loath is he to ponder seriously and meditate continually upon his sinnes no men are so farre from musing of their sinnes that they disdaine this practice and scoffe at it what say they if all were of your minde what should become of us shall we alwayes be poring on our corruptions so we may hap to runne mad if we were of your opinion thus we slight and put it off and trample on this duty which is so profitable the poore will not meditate on his sinnes he hath no time the rich they need it not the wicked dare not and so no man will in this case What shall a man set his soule on a continuall racke say they shall a man drive himselfe to a desperate stand and trouble himselfe unprofitably cannot men keepe themselves when they are well this is the course and frame of the world and wee may complaine of this carelesse and heedlesse age as Ieremiah did of his time Ier. 8.6 No man repenteth him of his wickednesse saying What have I done there is no questioning nor searching no musing no man saith What have I done no man saith these are my sinnes these are my wayes no man lookes over his course and conversation he doth not apprehend his sinne and that is the reason we heare of no humbling of no repenting but every man runneth into sinne as the horse rusheth into the battell hence it is that there are so māy uncleane beasts in the Arke In the old Law if there were any beasts that chewed not the cud he was counted uncleane the chewing of the cud is serious meditation of the mercies of God to comfort us and of our sinnes to humble us there are many ungodly persons in the bosome of the Church that muse not of their sinfull wayes the Prophet Ieremiah saith Were they ashamed when they had committed abominatiōs nay they were not at all ashamed neither could they blush he adds a reason in the eleventh verse They could not be ashamed why because they cry peace peace let the minister speake what he can and denounce what judgement he will they promise thēselves peace quietnes they consider not their wayes and therefore their hearts are not distempered therewith nor troubled at the consideration thereof nay there are many that count it an excellencie a cunning skill if they can drive away and shake off the sight of sinne if they can put off the meditation of any thing the word reveales they make it a marvelous excellent piece of skill and what they doe themselves they would have others doe also but they that now will not see nor consider nor meditate of their sinnes the truth is they shall see them as the Lord saith by Esay 26.11 When thy hand is lifted up they will not see but they shall see and be ashamed So I say you that will not see your sins but say What needs all this stirre let the minister say what hee will shall we be mad men to be troubled and shall we be fooles to be disquieted with the consideration of our sinnes well you will not muse upon your sinnes now but the time will come that the Lord will set all your sinnes in order before you and you shall not be able to looke off them And hence it is that when a man hath lived wickedly all his dayes and comes to lye on his death bed then all his sinnes come to his remembrance and then conscience flies in his face and sayes here is a cup for a drunkard and for an adulterer now he seeth nothing but sinne and hell and damnation due to him for his sinne and then he cries out he is damned You might have seene something before then if you had seene them to be humbled for them you should never have seene them to be damned for them If there be but any occasion of basenesse offered to the view of the drunkard which way doth he not use to compasse his carnall delights and shall the drunkard and prophane wretch be so eager in lingering after sinne that he may commit it and be damned for it and shall not a man so labour to see his iniquities that he may be humbled for them before God and receive mercy from God in the pardon of the same Shall the reprobate hale judgements on their soules and bend all their meditations that way and shall not they that desire to see God in glory doe the same The Second use is for instruction from the former doctrine delivered we may collect that loose vaine joviall company is the greatest hindrance to preparatiō for Christ and the greatest obstacle to the worke of grace that can be possible this is not forced but followeth clearly from the former truth in this manner thus I reason That course which takes away the minde from musing and the understanding from meditating on his evill way that course is the greatest hindrance why the heart is not humbled and fitted for the Lord for meditation brings in contrition and that prepares the heart for Christ but
your joviall company and ryoting persons there is nothing under heaven that takes off the minde more from musing and the understanding from waighing a mans evill throughly therefore this must needs be a marvelous impediment and hinderance to those that indeavour to walke uprightly before God in any measure Amos. 6.5 There are rules of their revaldry set downe they thrust and put away the day of the Lord farre from them that is the first law they make the first statute they enact thinke not of sinne now and meditate not of judgement now but come say they cast care away fling away and casheer those melancholly imaginations we have many failings let us not therefore be pondering of them and make our selves so much the more miserable this day shall be as yesterday and to morrow as to day no sorrow nor judgement no sinne now considered And this is remarkable and if a poore soule in that drunken distemper should be smitten by the hand of God and should suggest these words to his drunken companions We are all here merry and Jolly and let out our hearts in delight but for all this God will bring us to judgement the eyes of God seeth our now drinking and bezeling and the eare of God heareth our blasphemies and swearing and for these we shall one day be plagued why this should spoyle all the sport and jollity they could not be able to beare him but they would presētly fling him out of doores this is that which baneth many a soule therefore take notice of it if any of you have had a sight of sin marke if a drunkard go aside hang the winge a little marke what men doe if they can but once get him into their cōpany make him shake off those dumps and runne on in his former course then this hinders him from meditating on his sinnes and from being prepared for Christ and hence it is that many a poore soule that hath had the fire kindled the terrour that the Lord hath let into his soule would have hūbled his proud stomacke melted his stubborne heart but partly drunkennesse on the one side and merriness on another tooke away all the amazement whereby the soule might have beene wrought upon and he have received everlasting salvation Therfore thinke of it It was the course the Scripture observed in the lamenting Church Zach. 12.12 The house of David apart and their wives apart the house of Nathan apart and their wives apart There is no casting up of account in a crowd but if a man will cast up his account if he will see his sins cōsider his base practices he must go aside by himselfe loose occasions and vaine occasions withdraw the minde and plucke off the soule from seeing the evill and affecting the heart with it Therefore the Apostle Peter a little beyond my text when he saw the Jewes were affected with that he had delivered and that their hearts were touched when they asked him what they should doe he saith save your selves from this untoward generation God hath now touched your hearts suffer not Satan by these wicked Instrumēts of his to steale the terrour of God out of your harts for your drunken companions are like nothing else but those ravenous foules spoken of by Christ that deuoured the seed that fell by the way side the foule is the Devill the seed is the word of God now the Devill doth not plucke this out of the soule himselfe alone but often by cursed companions the ale-house is the bush that harbours those ravenous beasts and drunken companions are those The Devill useth to pluck out this good seed out of the heart therefore as you love your soules suffer not your selves to be drawne away by these cursed wretches do not suffer them to steale the worke of Gods spirit away which he hath wrought in your hearts this I observe to checke that cursed practice of men who when a man is troubled send him to play at cards or dice or the like which is the greatest meanes to hinder the worke of God in their hearts Thirdly seeing meditation brings marvelous comfort and profit to our soules then what remaines if I were silent the word it selfe would speake and the profit of the duty would speake and bring your hearts to addresse your soules to this you are therefore to be exhorted since you see what it is that God requires that with speed you set upon it and that with care and conscience you labour to persevere in the performance therof I beseech you thinke of it what is more usuall in the world then this that men should make sleight and little account of their sinnes nay to goe boult upright under those execrable abominations wherfore they stand guilty before God Looke as it was with Sampson he went away with the gates of Gaza and made nothing of them so there are many that carrie the gates of hell upon their backes as drunkennesse adultery and yet they feare not nor are affrighted thereat nay Gods owne servants that desire to looke towards Zion Is not this your complaint many times I cannot finde sinne heavy I confesse the word discovers it and reveales it but I cannot be troubled for it I cannot finde my soule burthened with it sinne is not heavy unto me but I carrie it away easily and make no bones of the matter though proud and leud and carelesse and untoward yet my hart is not apprehensive of the weight of it Let me speake unto you Are you not therfore here hindred in the way God requires of you because you weigh not ponder not those evill wayes you stād guiltie of before God but you are better content to see them and slight thē then to remember them lay them aside I beseech you to take notice of it Looke as it is with men in the world if five hundred pound weight bee laid on the ground if a man never plucke at it he shall not feele the weight of it your sinnes are not many hundreds but many thousand weights the least vaine thought you ever imagined the least idle word that ever you uttered are weight enough to presse your soules downe into everlasting perdition and therefore so many sinnes so great and so constantly committed against so much knowledge against so many comforts and incouragements against so many vowes and protestations are much more heavy and yet you see them nor the reason is you see thē not you weigh not pride you weigh not malice you weigh not dead heartednesse if you would weigh them seriously and consider of them thoroughly you would find that they were heavier then the sand on the sea shore but you will say how should we come to meditate on our sinnes that we may be comforted for this is the onely way But what course shall we take that we may be burdened here lies the skill Now for the opening of the point I will discover three things
justice but mercy patience will come in and plead for vengeance against the sinner and that will be the forest plague of all When you appeare before God what wil you expect you will call for mercy to save you and for patience to beare with you No no saith Mercy Iustice Lord I have beene despised Iustice saith Patience hath beene abused Iustice saith Goodnesse I have beene wronged And how will it be then when Mercy it selfe shall condēne that soule and Patience shall be an accuser of it and Goodnesse shall call for vengeance against it The third ground Thirdly as we must consider Gods mercy that hath beene abused and the Iustice of God that hath beene provoked So consider the nature of your sinnes and the haynousnesse of them sinne is not a tricke of youth or a matter of merryment but a breach of the Law of God and therefore it is good for a man in this case to examine every commandement of God and the breach thereof Thus I would have the soule well acquainted with the Law You know not your sinnes therefore get you home to the Law and looke into the glasse thereof and then bundle up all your sinnes thus So many sins against God himself in the first commandement against his worship in the second against his name in the third against his Sabbath in the fourth commandement nay all our thoughts words and actions all of them have beene sinnes able to sinke our soules to the bottome of hell bundle up your sinnes lay one upon the heart and another upon the conscience and then it will breake your backes those small infirmities you make nothing of those sinnes you make slight of and make a tricke of youth if you will bestow your minds a little seriously you will see them to be farre otherwise every sinne deserves death The wages of sinne is death not he onely that murthers his neighbour and takes away his life but the malitious man and the proud man deserves death Nay to come nearer the text what if I prove you had a hand in the shedding of the blood of Christ dwell here a little and consider it and you shall see the point cleare If there be any soule here present that hopes to have any part in Christ as if I should goe from man to man and aske have you a part in Christ you will say aye surely I hope so marke what I say thē if thou hopest for any mercy from Christ then Christ was thy surety and bare thy sinnes and those sinnes of thine were the witnesses against our Saviour they were the souldiers that tooke him the thornes that pierced him the speare that gored him the Crosse that tooke away his life The truth is the souldiers and Pilate the Scribes and Pharisees could have done nothing to our Saviour but for thy sinnes had it not beene for thy sinnes had it not beene for the sinnes of the elect the souldiers could not have apprehended him the Pharisees could not have witnessed against him there could have been no Judge to condemne him very well then thy sins caused all this thy wicked thoughts and wicked actions caused our Saviour to cry out My God my God why hast thou forsaken me He sunke under the consideration of thy sinnes and thou goest away and makest a tricke of youth of them and a matter of merryment of loose talke and wicked doings well you had a part in the crucifying of Christ. When you are gone think of this and as you are going home thinke with your selves It was my sinnes that had a part in the shedding of the blood of Christ and when you are at meate let that come into your mind I have had a hand in the crucifying of the Lord Jesus Christ and when you goe to bed thinke of it I am one of those that have embrewed their hands in the blood of the Lord Jesus that Saviour that is now at the right hand of God that hath done so much for his servants that sweat drops of blood those sweates and drops were for thy sinnes and is this a matter of merryment and a tricke of youth in the meane time No no thy soule will finde it otherwise one day unlesse the Lord remove those sinnes of thine those sins will make thee howle in hell fire one day unlesse you be burthened with them here thinke of this I am one of those that by vaine thoughts and prophane actions have crucifyed the Lord of life and if you can make those sinnes a matter of merriment I wonder at it The fourth Ground ariseth from the consideration of the punishment of sinne you must consider what sinne will cost you namely those endlesse torments that cannot be conceived nor prevented and I will leave here to speake of the paines of the wicked I should have said much thereof and come to speake only a little of the last Judgement Me thinkes I see the Lord of heaven and earth and the attributes of God appearing before him the Mercy of God the Goodnesse of God the Wisedome of God the Power of God the Patience and longsuffering of God and they come all to a sinner a wicked hypocrite or a carnall professor and say Bounty hath kept you Patience hath borne with you Longsufferance hath endured you Mercy hath relieved you the Goodnesse of the Lord hath beene great unto you All these comfortable attributes will bid you adue and say farewell damned soule you must goe hence to hell to have fellowship with damned ghosts Mercy shall never be enlarged towards you any more you shal never have Patience any more to beare with you never Goodnesse more to succour you never compassion more to relieve you never power more to strengthen you Nay you that have heretofore withdrawne your selves from Gods wisedome and gospell you shall never have wisedome more to guide you never Gospell more to comfort you never Mercy more to cheare you you shall then goe into endlesse and easelesse torments which can never be ended where you shall never be refreshed never eased never comforted and then you shall remember your sinnes My covetousnesse and pride was the cause of this I may thanke my sinnes for this Thinke of these things I beseech you seriously and see if sinne be good now see if you can take any sweetnesse in it I end all with that of Iob O that my griefe were well weighed and my calamity laid in the ballance for now they would be heavier then the sand of the sea So say I oh that our sins were weighed and our iniquities weighed in the ballance together such mercy have we despised such Justice we have provoked such a Lord of life have we crucifyed such torments have we deserved endlesse easelesse and remedilesse if these were weighed they would be heavyer then the sand and sincke our soules under the consideration of them But then you will say happyly I can thinke of these things and consider of
you then away to the Lord Jesus Christ and let this meditation of a mans corruptions be as a Bridge to carry him to Christ that so he may have salvation which is promised through him and shall be bestowed upon all broken harted sinners and marke what I say that soule that will not seeke out to Christ and will not be beholding to Christ for what he needâ— that soule wants brokennesse of heart What ever he be that will not seeke out to Christ and goe out of himselfe to another wants brokennes and this stubbornnesse of his that he will not goe to Christ ariseth from some of these three grounds First the soule will not goe out it is because the heart thinkes and presumes it hath no neede of Christ and therefore will not goe but we will not medle with that for that is proper to carnall men Secondly if the soule will not seeke out to Christ for helpe and comfort it is because the heart is not content in good earnest to be ruled by Christ that Christ should come and take possession of the soule and doe all therefore if the heart cling to corruption it is content that Christ should ease it but not that Christ should sanctifie it and remove that corruption that hath prevailed over it and therefore when a man is under the sight of sinne he would faine have God shew mercy unto him and yet he will not pray nor read nor use the meanes but dwels upon the meditation of his sinnes and neglects many ordinances of God whereby it may receive comfort this man would have a Christ to quiet him but not to rule him and take possession of him and this is the reason why in these cases the soule is never commonly kindly striken these would faine have quiet and comfort â—â—d yet they will not be driven to holy duties nor be content that Christ should rule in them they are content to commit the sinne but they would have pardon for it The third ground is this and the cunningest of all and that is this provided the soule be content to be ruled by the Lord Jesus and to submit unto him yet here is another deceit of the soule of a poore sinner that would joyne something with Christ for the helping of him in that great worke of salvation and this I take to be the complaint of sinners and sometime broken hearted ones too they dare not goe to expect mercy from the Lord Jesus Why why because they are unworthy so abominable their lives so wretched their courses that they dare not goe to Christ that he may shew mercy to them I reason the point thus is it because of your unworthinesse that you dare not goe to Christ so then if you had worthinesse this would incourage you for to goe Why then you thinke Christ is not able alone to helpe you but you would have your worthinesse helpe Christ to save you and so you would joyne with the Lord Jesus in this great price of Salvation and Redemption If your sinnes were but small and you had some worthinesse that so Christ might doe something and your worthinesse doe something and so you might make up the price betweene you then you could be content to goe to Christ but otherwise you thinke you may not goe to Christ without some worthinesse of your owne Againe why then belike you 〈◊〉 be beholden to Christ for so much mercy and so much grace and so much forgivenesse one of these two must needs be the ground of this complaint either we would have our own worthines joyne something with Christ or else we are so vile that we will not be beholden to Christ for so much mercy but this unworthinesse indeed is nothing else but pride a man will not be beholden to Christ for so much mercy but he will share with Christ in the matter of salvation or else he will not be pertaker of the great worke of redemption Imagine a debtor were in prison and a friend sends to him what ever the debt be if he will but come to him he will pay all the man returnes this answer If he had not such a great debt to pay he would be content to come to him but the truth is the debt is so great that he will not come to him nor trouble him now one of these two must needs follow either he thinkes his friend is not able or willing to pay his debt or else in truth he will not be beholden to him for so much but if the debt were a little one then he would make a shift to pay some and his friend some and so they would make up the debt between them So it is in this case this is that which keeps the heart from laying hold on the promise they thinke they are unworthy to pertake thereof which is nothing but pride of spirit for either they would bring something and share with Christ in the worke of redemption or else they will not be beholden to Christ for so much mercy There is another shift which keepes the heart from going to Christ O faith one I never had my heart so broken affected as such a one hath and therefore they dare not goe to Christ because they have not so much contrition their hearts so much broken as others have therefore they dare not goe Ay but be your soules content to goe to Christ and yeeld to him would you keepe any corruption is there any sinne which you would not have Christ come and remove The soule answereth that they would be content to resigne all to the Lord Jesus Christ but they are not so humbled as others are I say the ground of this complaint is nothing else but selfe-confidence in broken heartednesse for the soule is not content to have so much broken heartednesse as is sufficient to bring a man to Christ but it would have so much as that it might bring a man to Christ to helpe him in the worke of redemption they thinke iâ— is not enough to have the soule so huÌ„bled as to submit to the Lord Jesus Christ but they would have so much as they would joyn with Christ in this great worke which is nothing else but carnall confidence Therefore the conclusion is this So farre see thy sinnes so farre meditate upon thy sinnes and so farre labour to have thy heart affected with thy sinnes and so far attend unto them that three things may follow First that you may see an absolute necessity of Christ and that thou maist use all meanes to seeke unto him and never be quiet whilst thou findest him Nay while thou dost use the meanes but only upon the Lord Jesus pray and rest not in prayer but in a Saviour that is obtained by prayer heare but rest not in hearing but convay to thy selfe what is revealed in hearing receive the Sacraments but rest not in them but therein seeke a Saviour which is there signed this is the very stint
he saith to himselfe Thou hast sinned and offended a just God and therefore thou must be damned and to hell thou must goe This is the particular seising of the curse upon a sinfull soule for this is the nature of true sorrow if evill be to come we feare it if evill be upon us we grieue and sorrow for it herein is the greatest worke of all the Lord deales diversly as he seeth fit specially these three wayes First if God have a purpose to civilize a man he will lay his sorrow as a fetter upon him he only meanes to civilize him and knocke off his fingers from base courses as wee have knowne some in our daies many desperate persecutors of Gods people God casts his sorrow into their hearts and then they say they will persecute Gods people no more haply they are naught still but God confines them first God only rippes the skinne a little and layeth some small blow upon him but if a man have been rude and a great ryoter the Lord begins to serve a writ upon him and saith Thou art the man to thee be it spoken thy sins are weighed and thou art found too light heaven and salvation is departed from thee thy sorrow is begunne here never to have end hereafter but thou must continue in endlesse torments thou hast continued in sinne and therefore expect the fierce anger of the Lord to be upon thee for ever so that now the soule seeth the flashes of hell and Gods wrath upon the soule and the terrours of hell lay hold upon the heart and he confesseth he is so and he hath done so And therfore he is a poore damned creature and then the soule labours to welter it and it may be his conscience will be deluded by some carnall minister that makes the way broader then it is and bids him goe and drinke and play and worke away his sorrow or else it may be he stops the mouth of conscience with some outward performances it may be his conscience saith Thou hast committed these these sinnes and thou wilt be damned for them And then he entreats conscience to be quiet hold his peace and he will pray in his family and heare sermons and take up some good courses and thus he takes up a quiet civill course and stayeth here a while at last comes to nothing And thus God leaves him in the lurch if he meanes only to civilize him But Secondly if God intends to doe good to a man he will not let him goe thus and fall to a civill course When a man begins to colour over his old sinnes and God hath broken his teeth that he cannot worry as formerly but yet there is no power in him If the Lord love that soule he will much the more clearely reveale his sinnes unto him God will plucke away all his chambering and wantonnesse all his pride and peevishnesse and pull off his vizzard and shew him all his sinnes and pursue him therefore as before God entred the blow so now he followes it home And hence it is that Iob saith The arrowes of the Almighty sticke fast in me and the venome thereof drinkes up my spirits and the terrours of the Almighty encampe themselves against me every way And as David saith Thou keepest my eyes waking and my sinnes are ever before me If God love a sinner and meane to doe good to him he will not let him looke off his sinne the Lord wil ferret him from his denne and from his base courses and practises He will be with you in all your stealing and pilfering and in all your cursed devises if you belong to him he will not give you over And in another place Iob saith How long wilt thou not depart from me nor let me alone till I swallow downe my spittle You had better a great deale now have your hearts humbled and broken and see your sinnes then to see them when there is no remedy And in another place the holy man Iob saith Thou wilt not suffer me to take in my breath but fillest me with bitternesse Your eyes have beholden vanity therefore now you shall see the Lords wrath against you for your sinnes and you have breathed out your venome against the Lord of heaven therefore now he will fill your soules with indignation in so much that he shall breath in his wrath as you have breathed out your oathes against him you have filled the Lords eyes and eares with your abominations and the Lord of heaven shall fill you answerably with his wrath And in another place Iob saith Thou wilt breake a dry leafe tossed too and fro And yet the Lord brake him Now the soule seeth all the evill and the Lord pursueth him and sets conscience aworke to the full Consider that of the Apostle That all those might be damned which beleeved not the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousnesse Even all of them What shall no great ones be saved No nor you little ones neither all that lay not hold upon Christ but have pleasure in unrighteousnesse not only great ones and such as are abominably prophane but even all that had pleasure in wickednesse Now conscience saith Doest not thou know that thou art one of them that have had pleasure in unrighteousnesse therefore away thou must goe and thou shalt be damned Now the soule shakes and is driven beyond it selfe and would utterly faint but that the Lord upholds it with one hand as he beates it downe with the other he thinkes that every thing is against him and the fire burnes to consume him and he thinkes the ayre will poyson him conscience flies in his face and he thinkes hell mouth is open to receive him and the wrath of God hangs over his head and if God should take away his life he should tumble head-long downe to hell Now the soule is beyond all shift when it is day he wisheth it were night when it is night he wisheth it were day the wrath of God followeth him wheresoever he goeth and the soule would faine be rid of this but he cannot and yet all the while the soule is not heavy and sorrowfull for sinne he is burdened and could be content to throw away the punishment and horror of sinne but not the sweet of sinne as it is with a child that taâ—es a live coale in his hand thinking to play with it when he feeles fire in it he throws it away he doth not throw it away because it is blacke but because it burnes him So it is here A sinfull wretch will throw away his sinne because of the wrath of God that is due to him for it and the drunkard will be drunke no more but if he might have his queanes and his pots without any punishment or trouble he would have them with all his heart he loves the blacke and sweet of sinne well enough but he loves not the plague of sinne Foolish people saith the
Prophet are plagued for their sinne If thou roarest for disquiet of heart and thy bones are broken it is because of thy sin thy pride and drunkennesse and uncleannesse brought this upon thee If thou wilt be eased of the plague throw away thy corruptions if you would have the effect removed then take away the cause There are two things in sinne which make a man sorrowfull first sinne it selfe that doth defile a man and separate him from God Secondly the punishment of sinne Now the sinner lookes either so far at sinne as it causeth punishment or as it separats from God Haply a sinner will come to this he will be content to carry his heart and that furiously against sinne because it brings Judgements and plagues But thus farre a hypocrite may goe a Judas a Caine a Saul Caine would say his sinnes were greater then could be forgiven because he had killed his brother but he could never see his sinne so vile because it did separate him from God Thus you see how God enters the blow and followeth it home upon the soule but yet for all this God may leave a man as he did Iudas and Saul and there is an end of them Now in the third place if the Lord purpose to doe good to the soule he will not suffer him to be quiet here but he openeth the eye of the soule further and makes him sorrow not because it is a great and shamefull sinne but the Lord saith to the soule even the least sinne makes a separation betweene me and thee and the heart begins to reason thus Lord is this true is this the smart of sinne and is this the vile nature of sinne O Lord how odious are these abominations that cause this evill and though they had not caused this evill yet this is worse then the evill that they make a separation betweene God and my soule Good Lord why was I borne and why came I into this world why did God continue me here and all the meanes of grace for my good and all the comforts of this life wherby my course might be maintained and made lesse tedious what if I did want this horrour of heart and had all the ease in the world and what if I might be free from all misery on earth what were this so long as I had sin in my soule that makes a separation betweene God my soule I was made to be one with God to have cōmunion w th God to obey his cōmandements but I have departed from God by sin departed from his cōmandements A Godlesse and a gracelesse man is a miserable man though he were never plagued at all I was made to honour God and I have done nothing else but dishonour him I was made to subject my selfe to the good will of God but I have withdrawne my selfe from his will and this is my misery and my plague If I had beene in hell and had not had sinne I had beene a happy man and though I had beene in heaven and had had sin I had beene a miserable man because it makes a separation betweene me and my God Nay the sinner still thus pleads with himselfe what is this to me that I am rich and miserable honourable and damned to have quiet and ease here and a benummed conscience and so in the end to be throwne among the devils for dogges meat If I had all the ease wealth honours and friends in the world so long as I have this vile heart I could not be a happy man If you were never pierced for your sinnes your condition is woefull you shall have enough of it one day you that are never troubled for your sinnes but goe on smoothly know this I charge you in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ though you had all the ease and pleasures in the world so long as you have these proud sturdy unfaithfull hearts you are as miserable creatures as ever breathed upon the face of the earth Thus the heart complaines as sometimes the lamenting Church did Woe to us that we have sinned not because we have deserved plagues but because we have sinned woe to us for the God of grace is gone from us and the God of mercy is gone from us because we have sinned and the God of blessednesse is gone from us because we haue walked in cursed waies Hold here and then your sorrow goeth right if the soule can say though I have no horrour of heart yet if I have this sinfull heart I am a miserable man Then thy sorrow is right Sometimes God deales thus punctually with a man first he drives it to an amazement Secondly he workes in him marvelous feare of evill that is to come Thirdly he possesseth the soule with the feeling of the evill and so forth as in the former particulars but yet is bound to no time and therfore we must not limit the holy One of Israel it is true the Lord may presse in upon the soule and worke all this on the sudden but yet experience hath proved and reason will confirme it when God workes never so suddēly he affecteth the soule thus whē a poore soule commeth in the congregation he layeth some truth upon him that is new and terrible so that the soule dare not deny it nor yet fully resist it but is in a maze and by and by it may be the Lord opens his eyes and awakens his conscience and makes that more evidēt to the soule and so immediately arrests the soule and then sorrow fals in a maine upon it and the heart thinkes God meant my courses and the minister spake against him and he must go downe to hell suddenly so that sometimes the sinner cries out in the congregation and though he contain himselfe for a time yet he buckles under the burthen all this may be done at one sermon in one doctrine or in one part of an use but usually this is Gods maner of working But now the question in the next place will be this how doth the soule behave it selfe under this sorrow I answer when the soule is sorrowfull for sin as it is sinne and as it is a breach of the Law of God it may appeare by these two particulars First the soule is most of all weary of sin because of the vile nature of it Secondly it is restlesse in importuning the Lord for mercy and pardon for it First the heart is most of all weary of the burthen of sinne as it is sinne and thinkes it the greatest burthen in the world as a man that hath a great burthen on his backe wrincheth this way and that way and if he cannot remove it yet he will ease it so the heart useth all meanes and taketh all courses that if it were possible it may cast off and ease it selfe of the vilenesse of sinne plague of sinne This wearisomnesse of the soule which followeth the weight of sinne makes it self knowne in these three particulars
First his eye is ever upon it his mouth is ever speaking of it and he is alwaies complaining against it and he is readily content to take shame to himselfe for it If a man have a sore place in his body his eye and his finger will ever be upon it so it is with the soule As the people when they apprehended the hideous wrath of God against them they entreated Samuel to pray for them for say they We have added to all our sinnes this specially in asking of us a King As it is with a man that hath the stone in the reines or some stitch in his side or where ever his paine or trouble is there he complaines most and when the PhysitiaÌ„ comes to feele on his body he saith is it here no â—â—ith he is it here and wheÌ„ he commeth to the right place he saith there it is cut there and launce there So it is with a man that is stung with the vile nature of sinne when he comes to complaine of sinne he doth not altogether complaine of his horrour nor of death but he saith O! that chambring and wantonnesse that pride and stubbornnesse and rebellion of heart O! that ryoting and malice against the Saints of God The soule seeth this complaines of it and takes shame to himselfe for it as Paul deales with himselfe which argues a heart truly weary of corruption I was a persecutor and a blasphemer and the like and I was received to mercy he doth not say I was in horrour or in trouble but I was a persecutor he doth not say I was thus and thus plagued but I was an injurious person to Gods Church there he was weary and there he would be eased if it were possible Let all vile wretches tremble at it for God hath enough for all Pharoes and Nymrods Away therefore with all these Lapwing cries and complaints it is the nature of that bird to cry flutter most when she is farthest from her neast because by this meanes she would cozen passengers and have her young ones So it is with an hypocrite he will complaine a great way off of his sinne and have some secret turning It is admirable to see how hard it is for a man to lay open his sinnes before God it is a signe that he is never weary of sinne that he is not willing truly to confesse his sinne when he is lawfully called to it and when he pretends 〈◊〉 it is true sometimes God will accept of a confession made to him in secret if it be in truth but when God will have a man unbowell himselfe and all his abominations and when a man commeth and desires comfort in this kinde then for a man to cover his sinne and to complaine a farre off of some ordinary corruption which every poore child of God is troubled with and that particular lust whereof he is guilty for shame he is not willing to acknowledge this argueth that the heart is naught and never sound this wearisomnesse of sinne I know that the best heart under heaven will have many windings and turnings but the Lord will never leave the heart in this case till he come to deale plainly and say these are my sinnes and this is my uncleannes and this is my secret theft and thus he openeth himselfe at large to that man whom God hath appointed for that end but some are content to confesse and complaine of their sinnes when God hath them upon the racke and Judas did but marke his punishment is the greatest cause of his complaint and hell is his greatest feare he 〈◊〉 weary of sinne because of the plague and punishment due to it but he never regards the vilenesse of sinne in this respect because it makes a separation betweene God and his soule Secondly as the soule complaines of the vile nature of sin and desires to have his face covered with shame for it is so in the second place it will never meddle with nor give way to any thing that is sinfull so farre as it is revealed so to be setting aside sudden passions and violent temptations but when a man is come to himselfe againe his conscience is awakened this is sure the soule will not dare to tamper with any thing that is sinful why becaus it hath bin wearied with the burthen of it before It is the practice of the lamenting Church in Hosea Ashur shall not save us we will not ride on horses neither will we say to the workes of our hands Ye are our Gods for with thee the fatherles finde mercy That is we wil meddle no more with any thing that is sinfull whâ—reby we have dishonoureâ— God heretofore for they had trusted in their horses made Idols and relyed upon them but now they cast them cleane off The reason is because when the soule seeth sin as it is sinne and that it is burthen to the soule and the heart is now weary of it it will lay no more weight upon it because now the heart is weary enough already The blasphemer feares an oath the adulterer shakes to see his quean and he trembles to see the place where his abominations have beene committed and now his heart loathes all these If a man hath beene once at deaths doore by drinking deadly poyson he will never tast of it more Nay he will not endure the sight of that cup he wil rather fare hardly and rather starve then eate and drinke that which shall kill him so saith the soule it is sin that hath made a separation betweene me and my God this pride or this uncleannesse had been the death of me if God had not beene mercifull unto me and therefore I will rather sinke and die then meddle with these sinnes any more And hence it is that if any thing come under the colour of corruption the soule that is truly weary of sinne saith Omitting of this duty is evill and therefore I will not omit it the doing of this action is sinfull and therefore I will not doe it because the sinne is worse then the plague he will take the lesse evill of the two as we use to doe in other matters if a man hate his sinne for the plague then so soone as that is removed he returnes to his sinne againe the blow was but weake This was the fault in Judas his sorrow he did see and confesse his sinnes and bewaile them and did more then many will doe now a daies tooke shame to himselfe buâ— though he confessed and complained of his sinne yet he would rather commit murther upon himselfe then under-goe the horrour of sinne if he had beene weary of sin because of the loathsomenesse of it he would not have layed violent hands upon himselfe These two passages are every where where true saving grace is Now in the third place if God should deprive a sinner of his judgement and horrour of conscience yet if his heart be truely apprehensive
of sin as it is sinne he cannot lay aside his sorrow so long as sin prevailes and gets head against him and dogges him up and downe nothing will content him but the removall of his sinne That soule which was cured by any other meane save onely by Christ was never truly wounded for sinne If ease cures him then horrour was his vexation If honour cure him then shame was his burthen If riches cure him theÌ„ poverty did most of all pinch him but if the soule were truly wounded for sin then nothing can cure him but a Saviour to pardon him and grace to purge him for what is that to the soule to have ease and liberty nay to be in heaven if he have a naughty rebellious heart nay if it were possible for him to be in heaven with his sinfull heart it would tyre him and burthen him there Therefore those soules that are cured by any thing saving by Christ those soules were never truly wounded for sinne as sinne It may be horror and vexation lay heavy upon theÌ„ but it was not the stroke of sinne that did trouble them Then gather up all he that which out of the vilenesse which he seeth in sinne is content to take shame to himselfe and will not meddle with his sinne neither carelesly nor willingly and is not cured by any thing saving by Christ this man behaveth himselfe truly in the first place Thus much of the tryall Secondly againe the soule is restlesse in importuning the Lord for mercy and will not be quieted till it get some evidence of Gods favour the soule will take on nay it will not be contented unles it can finde some glimps of acceptance through the goodnesse of God in Christ. This is plaine if a man be burthened with a weight or some heavy load that is laid upon him if that he be fallen under his burthen he lyeth there like to die and if there be none neere to succour him all his care is to cry out for helpe and though he seeth no man yet he cryeth out O help help for the Lords sake Saul was without sight three daies and no doubt he prayed to God all that while as if he had resolved to give him no rest till he had found mercy this is the nature of true sorrow it ever drives a man to God whereas reprobate sorrow drives a man from God Nay it may be though the heart thinkes it shall never finde mercy yet the Lord carryeth on the soule in an earnest desire and using the meanes and wil not off from God and from his word and sacraments and ordinances Nay though he sometime concludes that he shall never get mercy nor get power against his corruptions and then one saith You had best leave off all Nay saith the soule I cannot be worse then I am if I goe to hell I will goe this way There is a kinde of sorrow in the heart which is heavenly and godly but reprobate sorrow even drives a man from God and maks him say if I am damned I am damned if I be a reprobate I am so O â—hou wretch is this all If a poore creature that is pressed under his burthen cryeth for helpe when almost nature strength doth faile he crieth still for helpe and that is all he can say and so he dyes and this is the last word that he speaks with a soft still voice O help help So it is with the soule of a poore languishing sinner when the heart is burthened with the vilenesse of the nature of sinne and the separation from God by the same he doth not now cry ease and liberty and riches Lord No he cries mercy mercy Lord on this vile heart of mine and give me power against these mighty lusts after many means using when he is going the way of all flesh his last word is mercy Me thinkes I see this poore soule slyding away and saying how many sinnes have I committed Oh mercy mercy Christ. And this is the last word he speaketh and so he dies and no question but mercy shall be given him It is not a Lord have mercy upon me and God forgive me will serve the turne No it is otherwise if ever God set home this worke he will make you restlesse in seeking mercy and nothing shall content you but mercy to pardon your sinnes and grace to subdue them and the soule thinkes if mercy would but shine upon him and if his sinnes were taken away that they might never hinder him in a ChristiaÌ„ course he were a happy man this is the frame of the soule that is truely weary of sinne When the young man came to Christ and played fayre and a farre off and said he could do any thing Well said Christ if thou canst doe any thing then goe and sell all that thou hast and give it to the poore but he went away sorrowfull from Christ saith the text he did not come to Christ sorrowful but weÌ„t away sorrowfull from Christ whereas if he had beene burthened with sinne as sinne he would have come to Christ sorrowfull and say Now I see Lord the world is a heavy burtheÌ„ O Lord help me against it give me mercy to pardon me and grace to remove it But our Sauiour heard no more of the young man and as it is in the text this pricking of heart made the Jewes come to Peter sayingâ— Men and brethren What shall wee doe They did not as a great many say now a dayes if the minister were far enough off from me and I from him I were happy I cannot be quiet for him these are reprobate speeches but the sinner that is truly humbled and burthened with sinne as sinne he comes home and is resolved to wait for mercy till the Lord sheweth mercy to him Carnall sorrow sent Iudas and Achitophel to the gallowes but godly sorrow ever drives a man to God When Ionah was in the Whales belly he said Lord though I cannot come to thy temple I will looke towards it so a sorrowfull soule that is truly burthened with sinne will say though I cannot come to heaven yet I will looke up to heaven and though I never finde mercy yet for mercy will I wait thy mercy onely Lord shall content me The next thing is this we thinke of all things our sinne most pleasant and nothing so grievous as Gods commandements and therefore will these sinnes wherein we have taken so much content will these so wound the soule why should sinne so wound and pierce the soule The reasons are these three The first is this the soule must be pierced with sinne because it is the greatest evill of the soule and therefore if the heart doe but truly apprehend it it cannot but it must be most of all burthened with it If a man beare two weights on his backe that is most grievous which is most heavy if he feele the burthen as the nature of it requires it will most
hope that it may be otherwise For the Lord holds the soule by a secret vertue to himselfe and drawes the heart to seeke for mercy When the Prodigall child was brought to a desperate strait he beganne to consider what he had done whereas before he said shall I ever be a slave in my fathers familie but at last when all was spent what doth he doe he saith It is true I can looke for no help and favour and I cannot tell whether my Father will receive me or no yet my Fathers servants have bread enough and I shall starve for hunger O wretch that I am I have left a kinde fathers house yet come what will I will home to my father and say Father I have sinned Thus the soule thinkes with it selfe Oh the many sweet and gratious cals that I have had how often hath Christ come home to my heart and desired entrance and yet I shut the doore upon him shall I now goe home to the Lord Jâ—sus Christ How justly may he reject me that have rejected him he may damne me and yet he may save me therefore I will wait upon him for mercy thus the soule will not off from God but it hath a secret hope wherewith the Lord keepes the heart to himselfe The first reason is because unlesse the Lord should leave this hope in the heart it would utterly be overthrowne with despaire You that make nothing of your loose thoughts and vaine speeches I tell you if God did set but one sinfull thought upon thy heart thy soule would sinke under it the Lords wrath would drive thee to marvelous desperation were it not that the Lord doth uphold thee with one hand as he beats thee downe with the other I say it were impossible but the soule should despaire as the proverb is But for hope the heart would breake Who can stand under the Almighty hand of God unlesse he doth uphold him God hath broken off the sinner by this sorrow but he will not throw him to hell As the gardiner cuts off a graft to plant it into a new stocke not to burne it So the Lord cuts off a sinner from all abomination but he wil not cast him into hell and the Lord melts the heart of a poore sinner but consumes him not but as the goldsmith melts his gold not to consume it all away but to make it a better vessel So the Lord melts a poore sinner to make him a vessell of glory the Lord will fire those proud hearts of yours and clip off those knotty lusts but if you belong to him he will leave a little remainder of hope that you shall be formed and fashioned not consumed It is the argument of the Lord by the Prophet He will come and dwell with and refresh the broken soule and he will not contend for ever lest the Spirit should faile before him If the Lord should let in but one scattering shot of his vengeance into the heart it were enough to drive the soule to despaire but God will lay no more upon us then will doe good to us Secondly if the Lord did not leave this hope in the heart a mans indeavours in the use of the meanes would be altogether killed if there be no hope of good then there is no care of using the meanes whereby any good may be obtained Good is the loadstone of all our endeavors a man will not labour for nothing therefore despaire killes a mans labours and pluckes up the root of all his indeavours If there be any good present hope makes us labour to encrease it if any good be to come hope labours to attaine it But good there must be So hope provokes the soule to use the meanes and to say I am a damned man but if there be any hope I will pray and heare and fast who knowes but God may shew mercy to my poore soule Now gather up all if without this secret hope the heart would faile and if without it a mans indeavours would be utterly crusht and come to nothing then it is no wonder that the Lord in his infinite mercy and wisedome when he will doe good to the soule leaveth some secret hope of mercy First we may here take notice of the marvelous tenderness and the loving nature of God in dealing with poore sinners that in al his courses of justice remembers some mercy and in all the potion of his wrath still he drops in some cordials of comfort he deales not with us as he might but so as might be most comfortable every way and usefull to worke upon our hearts to draw our soules home unto himself Should the Lord come out against a poore sinner and in his wrath let fly against him his soule would sinke downe under him but blessed be God that he doth not deale with our hearts as we deserve if he were as rigorous against us as we have beene rebellious against him we should sinke in sorrow and fall into despaire never to be recovered any more But as the Lord batters us so he releeves us as we may see in Saul he had gotten letters to Damascus and now he hoped being generall of the field to bind and to imprison all and he would not spare the poore Christians a jot but Christ meets him in the field threw him downe and might have killed him too but the Lord desired rather that he might be humbled then confounded I cannot read that ever he shewed his letters but layed all flat downe before the Lord and so was accepted the Lord shewed him his misery yet he lets him not perish there but gives him a little crevise of comfort When the Lord dealt with the children of Israel he said I will allure her and bring her into the wildernesse and there I will give her the valley of Achor for the doore of hope When Achan was stoned for stealing the wedge of gold the Israelites called it the valley of Achor and so it is called to this day The valley of Achor is the valley of trouble of stoning or consternation so the Lord doth here he draweth the soule into the wildernesse of sorrow for sinne but doth he leave the soule there no there is the doore of hope also and there the soule shall sing as in former times And hereupon the soule saith there is some hope that God will do good unto me for all this there is hope the Lord is melting me to make me a vessel of glory that 's a gloomy night when there is neither moone nor candle to be seen so though the soule be marvelous gloomy and heavy yet there is some crevise of light and consolation let into the heart still chearing and refreshing it the Lord knowes what metall we are made of and remembers that we are but dust therefore he so corrects us that he may leave an inkling of mercy and favour in our hearts O therefore
let us admire and blesse this good God and not quarrell with his ministers nor providence and say other men have comfort and therefore why am I so troubled and disquieted how now It is endlesse mercy that thou livest therefore downe with thy proud heart and stifle those distempers of Spirit and say The Lord hath broken and wounded me but blessed be his name that I may come to Church and that he hath not dealt with me as I have deserved but in goodnesse and mercy I hope God in his season will doe good to my soule Secondly let us be wise to nourish this same blessed worke in our hearts for ever let us have our hearts more and more strengthened because thereby our hearts will be more more inabled to beare and undergoe any thing if you have but a little glimpse of hope cover it and labour to maintaine it and if ever God let in any glimpse of mercy into your hearts let it not goe out it is ever good to take that way that God takes the Lord sustaines our hearts with hope hope is the sinewes of the soule therefore strengthen it As a marriner that is tost with a tempest in a darke night when he sees no starres he casts anchor and that cheares him this hope is the anchor of the soule whereby it lookes out and expects mercy from God the poore soule seeth no light nor comfort nothing but the wrath of an angry God and he saith God is a just God and a jealous God even that God whose truth I have opposed is displeased with me then the soule is tossed and troubled and runnes upon the rockes of despaire how shall the soule be supported in this condition you will finde this true one day therefore looke to it before you vile drunkards are now sayling in a faire gale of pleasure and carnall delight but when the Lords wrath shall seaze upoÌ„ you wheÌ„ he shal let in the flashes of hel fire then you are tossed sometimes up to heaven now downe to hell therefore cast anchor now and this hope will uphold you for this hope is called the anchor of the soule Thou dost not yet see the Lord refreshing of thee but it may be otherwise The people of NiniviÌ„e said Who knowe's but God may repent this upheld their hearts and made them seeke to the Lord in the use of the meanes and the Lord had mercy on them If you belong unto the Lord he will come against those drunken proud hearts and rebellious hearts of yours and dragge them downe to hell and make them sorrow for their sinnes And remember this against that day Who knowes but the Lord may shew mercy and therefore yet heare and pray and fast and seeke unto him for mercy We fence those parts of our bodies most that are most pretious and the hurt whereof is most dangerous Hope is called the helmes of salvation and the assurance of Gods love is the head of a Christian now take away a Christians head and he is cleane gone the devil ever labours for that and saith You come to heaven prove it Loe you thinke God hath need of drunkards and adulterers in heaven and will God provide a crowne of glory for his professed enemies Hath God made heaven a hog-fâ—ie for such uncleane wretches as you are No no there is no such expectation of mercy this wounds the head of the soule but hope is the helmet that covers the head of a Christian makes him say I confesse I am as bad as any man can say of me heaven is a holy place and and I have no goodnesse at all in me yet there is hope the Lord may breake this proud heart of mine and take away these distempers of Spirit Now by this meanes the head of a Christian is kept sure Quest. But some will say how shall we maintaine this hope in our hearts and by what meanes may we feed this hope Answ. The meanes are especially three First take notice of the Al-sufficiencie of God as he hath revealed himselfe in his word say not as many do I cannot conceive it or I cannot finde it but what doth the word say Is not God able to pardon thy sinnes away then with those I cannot conceive it and the like Is there any thing hard for me saith God Whatsoever thy estate is there is nothing hard to him that hath hardnesse at command when our Saviour said It is as easie for a camell to goe through the eye of a needle as for a rich man to goe into heaven Good Lord said they Who can be saved But Christ said with God all things are possible if you looke unto man how he is glued to the world so that all the ministers under heaven cannot pull him away but still he will lie and cozen Reason and Judgement cannot conceive how this man should be saved but with God all things are possible See what the Apostle saith Abraham above hope beleeved under hope that he should be the Father of many nations this he did because he knew he which had promised was able to performe it and this did feed his hope he did beleeve above hope in regard of the creature under hope in regard of God As if he had said I have a dead body but God is a living God and Sarah hath a barren wombe but God is a fruitfull God It may be thou sayest Object if any exhortatioÌ„ would have wrought upon me then my heart might have beene brought to a better passe but can this stubborne heart of mine be made to yeild And can these strong corruptions of mine be subdued Howsoever thou canst not doe it Answ. yet God can quicken thee and although thou art a damned man yet he is a mercifull God this all-sufficiencie of God is a hooke whereon our soules hang when the Apostles had prayed that the minds of the Ephesians might be opened and that they might be able to know the love of Christ because some one might say how shall we know that which is above knowledge the text saith Now to him that is able to doe abuÌ„dantly above all that we can thinke or aske according to his mighty power that worketh in us to him be glory As though he had said though you cannot thinke or aske as you should yet God is able to doe exceeding abundantly more then we can thinke or aske so then no more but this we are not able of our selves to thinke a good thought yet there is sufficient power in God and though we are dead hearted and damned wretches yet there is sufficient salvation in God Let us hang the handle of hope on this hooke Secondly the freenesse of Gods promise marvelously lifts up the head above water as the beggar saith The doale is free why may not I get it as well as another This sometimes dasheth our hopes when the soule begins to thinke what mercy is offered he saith
broken heart comes not to flout at the minister nay that is a sturdy heart but a broken heart shakes at the word of God if there come a promise a broken heart trembles lest he hath no share in it and if there be any command he trembles lest he should not be able to obey it but if the Lord meet with some maine lust as secret malice against the Saints of God and secret uncleannesse or the like if the Lord give a wipe at these things in the word thē this broken heart hath enough he hath his load and longs to be private he remembers that truth and the wound being fresh bleeds againe and he mournes againe and laies hold on his heart and saith Good Lord I was this malicious wretch I intended this mischiefe to thy Saints and if it had beene in my power I could have sucked their blood I was that uncleane wretch shall all these sinnes be pardoned and shall all these cursed abominations be removed Can these corruptions be subdued Brethren yee cannot be ignorant how a wounded heart is affected with every touch you that have broken hearts you know it I shall not need to tell you Therefore when ever the Lord comes to rake in those filthy and drunken hearts of yours they will shake within you and you will say this is my sinne and these are my abominations whereby God hath beene so much dishonored The third use is for exhortation if you know these things as I am perswaded you doe then be intreated in the name of the Lord Jesus to walke in that way which God hath revealed this is the basenesse of our hearts we are loath to unbuckle our vile and secret distempers they are shamefull themselves and yet we are loath to take shame for them Therefore deale openly freely with your soules confesse your sins freely that God may deale comfortably with you hath the Lord at any time let in this horrour into thy soule and is thy heart now troubled at the word and after all thy teares and paines and meanes using with uprightnesse doe thy corruptions still remaine are they not yet subdued as they might be canst thou not get any assurance of the pardon of them I say then cast away thy shamefull hiding and concealing of sinne and do not say what will the world and ministers say of me away with these shifts God cals thee to confession the Saints have done it and thou must nay thou wilt doe it if ever thy heart be kindly broken as it should be in some measure pleasing unto God and profitable to thy selfe Object But some will say how may we doe it Answ. For answere thereunto I will first give some direction how to doe it Secondly I will give some motives to worke our hearts to the same First be wise in chusing the party to whom you must confesse your sinnes for every wide mouthed vessel is not fit to receive pretious liquor so this confession is not to be opened to every carnall wretch that will blaze it abroad the minister to whom you confesse ought to have these three graces First hee must be a skilfull and able Minister of God one that is trained up and is master of his Art and so experienced that hee may be able in some measure to finde out the nature of the disease Not that any Minister under heaven can be so wife and holy as to give pardon to a poore sinner but onely hee is able ministerially to doe it under God Hee must be able to approve himselfe the Minister of God hee must have the tongue of the learned and be able to breake the heart and prepare the soule for Christ and then to apply the cooling promises of the Gospell to him There are many who in stead of curing of the soule kill it and by popping the Sacrament into a mans mouth thinke to send him to heaven but in conclusion send him to hell Secondly hee must be a mercifull Physitian one that will pitty a poore soule they that have experience of trouble and misery in themselves are most compassionate to others in distresse he that hath beene tossed in the sea will pitty others that have beene in the same danger If these people had gone to the Scribes and Pharisies they had beene well holpen No but they went to Peter and therefore found helpe when Iudas had sinned and betrayed his Master and his soule was full of horrour he went to the Pharisies and confessed his sinnes but what succour found he they answered him what is that to us Hast thou sinned then beare it and looke to it thy selfe so it is with carnall wretches what comfort yeild they to a poore distressed conscience they adde sorrow to sorrow and say it is nothing but melancholy he hath gotten this by hearing some fiery hot minister or by reading too much in some bookes of election and reprobation Lastly he must be a faithfull minister one that will not fit mens humors nor answere the desires of their hearts in speaking what they would have him but his faithfulnesse must appeare in two things First in dealing plainely with every one though a man be his patron or of what place or condition soever he be if he have a proud heart he must labour to humble him And Secondly as he must apply a salve fitting for the sore so he must be faithfull in keeping secret the sinne that is laid open to him that nothing may fly abroad no not after his death except it be in some cases Now what remaines but that you all be moved to take up this duty and provoke your hearts freely to confesse your evill waies to which purpose let me give you three motives First because it is a very honourable thing will exceedingly promote the cause of a Christian you will hardly yeild to this on the sudden a man doth thinke that if the minister knowes his vilenesse he will abhorre him for it But I assure you brethren there is nothing that doth more set forth the honour of a Christian and winne the love of a minister then this Indeed it is a shame to commit sinne but no shame to confesse it upon good grounds Nay when the heart comes kindly off it is admirable to see how a faithfull minister will approve of such persons his love is so great towards them O saith the minister it did me good to heare that man confesse so freely I hope the Lord hath wrought kindly in him certainely now he is in the way to life and happinesse oh how I love him I could even be content to put that man in my bosome Whereas this overly and loose dealing of yours is loathsome to us doe you thinke we perceive it not Yes we may feele it with our fingers and when you are gone I tell you what we thinke surely that man is an hypocrite he hath a hollow heart he is not willing to