formall Pharisaicall Honour of Parents there is an Honour of Parents common not alone to Hypocrites but to very Pagans also who from meer naturall principles have done much this way in Honour of Parents and have been very eminent and famous therein But to passe them by at present and instance in others Paul before his conversion was an exact Moralist touching the letter of the Law and so of the 5th Commandement he was blamelesse Phil. 3. 6. So that young man in his sense had kept all and o the 5th Commandment according to the letter of it Mark 10. 19 20. Yet a meer unregenerate person Now if persons in the relation of Children rightly honour their Parents it may be discerned Marks of due honour of Parents by such markes as these 1. If Conscience to God and to his command 1. If from a good conscience hath the greatest stroak in the Honour given to Parents by their Children If rightly honoured they are honoured in the Lord as in that branch of this Honour it is said Eph. 6. 1. Children obey your Parents in the Lord. So it is true in Honour in generall or in any other particular of Honour due to Parents they must be respected reverenced and recompenced c. in the Lord. Or so as it be from a good Conscience and may stand with a good Conscience 1 Tim. 1. 5. the end or scope of the Commandement even of the whole Law specially that of the second Table and particularly this of the fifth Commandement also is Love to whom Matth. 22. 37 38 39 40. all the duties of the Law are referred as to their head out of a pure heart and a good Conscience and faith unfeighned True it is the Law of nature and Nations also may and must have a strong hand in the Honour of Parents by their Children but must not have the chief hand therein respect may and must also be had to the blessing of life and that it may be well with us Eph. 6. 2 3. Honour thy Father and Mother that thou maist live long and that it may be well with thee We may and must aime at this that it may be well with us in our souls bodies estates names occasions relations changes prosperity adversity life death and after death but yet conscience to God and his command together with chief respect had to the glory of God must be the great wheel which carrieth us on in this good way Paul thought to gain eternall life by his Morall Righteousness that set him so hard to this and other works of the Law Ph. 3. 6 7. The yong mans question intimateth what was uppermost in his heart in all his keepings of the Law namely the getting of eternall life onely Mark 10. 17 19 20. And therefore these were notright in any of their acts of obedience to this fifth Commandement or to any of the rest of the ten Commandements Now if this Honour to Parents be indeed from a good conscience it will be also from faith unfeigned This is discerned if from Faith for they are joyned 1 Tim. 1. 5. When the interest which children have in the Lord and in his gracious covenant and promises is a main ground of the Honour of Reverence or of any other Honour which persons as in the Relation of Children do give unto their Mother or to their Father this is suitable to Gods mind Levit. 19. 3. Ye shall fear every man his Mother and every man his Father why so or what should move them to that it followeth I am the Lord your God Because they believe him to be their blessed Covenant Father in the Messiah they are therefore the rather to put all the Honour they can upon the Image of his Father-hood in their Parents Now it is as God would have it So when persons as in If from love of God the relation of Children do respect prise and love their Christian Parents the more because they love the Lord who requireth this at their hand now it is well a so or when an holy fear attendeth them lest not alone their good Parents hearts If from fear of Sin but lest the Lord also and his Spirit should any way be grieved or displeased by their expressing or carrying it towards them in any way contrary to due Honour of Parents they are afraid to carry it irreverently disobediently disrespectfully or ingratefully towards them even when some way tempted thereto lest the eyes of Gods glory should thereby be provoked now also it is well Or when at any time they espie any dishonourable If kindly broken and Abased when the contrary in them is discerned thought or stirring in their minds or spirits or take notice of some speech or carriage of theirs savouring of dishonour to Father or Mother and this melteth their hearts kindly before the Lord and maketh them ready to confess the same ingenuously to living Parents as well as to the Lord and that in all the aggravations thereof yea when a very shadow of such dishonour of Parents or the remembrance of any passages savouring thereof though past long ago and possibly before God touched their hearts effectually as well as since that these also are matters of heart Abasings breakings and bitter complaints before the Lord this argueth a good conscience in this particular also When they also do watch their spirits and hearts to keep them to the Rule as well as over If watching over their spirits also so that end their speeches gestures and actions to keep them as close as may be to that rule Honour thy Father and thy Mother this also argueth Honour of Father If there be no outward thing frighting or chiefly drawing to it and Mother from a good conscience In a word when there is no other thing of an inferiour nature either to affright and force them to it or on the other hand to bribe them to it as say riches preferments patrimony or the like humane Attractives and yet they are inwardly moved and strongly and prevailingly carryed out in a way of Honour of Parents All these do undoubtedly evince that now at least there is a blessed Spirit and habit of Honour of Parents wrought in such Children by the speciall efficacy of the Holy Ghost from which such do now at least Act in matters respecting their Parents Honour and that now at least a good conscience and conscience to God and to his Command doth set them about this blessed work The clearing of this first mark which indeed is the main of all might satisfie us but for further help in this discovery let us adde three or four marks of Honour rightly given to Parents A second mark then hereof is when Children 2. If holding up Parents Honour when aged and decayed are conscientiously carefull to hold up Parents Honour when they are Aged yea and when through infirmity Parents some way miscary As Sem and Japhet were cordially
precious daughter Ruth said even to her Mother in Law Naomi whither thou goest I will go and where thou lodgest I will lodge thy people shall be my people and thy God my God the Lord do so to me and more also if ought but death part thee and me Ruth 1. 16 17. so and much more if more may be would become every Son and Daughter even to ingage themselves and that for term of life to Honour their own Fathers and Mothers both in way of direct Honour by sharing with them in doing and suffering and by being tenderly respective and observant of them and usefull and serviceable to them wherever they become or into what condition soever the Lord may cast them and in a way of reflect Honour by personall and reall owning of their Godly Fathers and Mothers God and people that they shall be theirs And as Ruth fulfilled actually what she so solemnly ingaged that way so should any one Son or daughter much rather be to their own Father and Mother better every way than seven Sons Ruth 4. 15. Joseph also did not onely Honour his Father when he was a youth but continued honouring of his Father to the last so long as he had a Father left to Honour albeit long after he was married and so highly exalted witness that Gen. 46. 29. and 47. 31. and 48. 12. 3. It must be compleat and full not alone outwardly 3. Compleat but inwardly not in some lawfull and good things or way but in all and that in all places and upon all occasions yea every part of them which is capable of giving Honour to Parents must do their part of filiall homage and contribute their share to this common treasury of Honour in generall due to Parents Parents have been Fathers of the Childrens bodies and preparatory and effective instruments of the being of their souls in their bodies so that head tongue eyes cares hand and knee feet and the like bodily parts in their way and likewise the mind in its thoughts the understanding and judgement in its conceptions and apprehensions dictates and esteem the heart and will in its dispositions and affections c. All and each of these must render their proportions of due Honour to the instruments of their being hence that before mentioned of Solomon to his Son Prov. 23. 26. My Son give me thy heart and let thine eyes observe my wayes heart and eyes soul and body must joyn in filiall homage of his Son to him as his Father 4. It must be impartiall without respect to 4. Impartiall them as rich onely or otherwise great in the world or the like for if very poor their Honour from their Children must be never a whit the less if Mary the Mother of Christ be the espoused wife of Joseph a poor Carpenter it is all one to Christ as if she had been a Princes spouse he is subject to them as a child Luk. 2. 51. he went down with them to Nazareth and was subject to them the command of God knoweth no persons distinguisheth not of such a Father or such and such a Mother but chargeth the Child Honour thou thy Father and thy Mother be he or she poor or rich noble or ignoble high or low of meaner parts or of more accomplished abilities comely and personable or deformed and in stature more despicable yea be they of better and sweeter tempers or be they of a more harsh hasty and rigid disposition yet as servants must be subject to their Masters with all fear not onely to the good and gentle but also to the froward 1 Pet. 2. 18. so must Children much rather give Honour to their Parents whether of better or worser tempers 5. It must be in a way of eminency being such 5. In a way of eminency Honour as is next in order to that Honour due to God himself the Hebrew word 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 applied to persons or things in a way of good most frequently signifieth to make weighty in honour or glory or to give some eminent and transcendent measure of Honour and Glory hence that phrase 2 Cor. 4. 17. weight of glory Speaking of that surpassing glory of heaven the same Hebrew verb which is used in my Text is sometimes used for magnifying of God Psal 22. 23. Magnifie him all ye seed of Jacob as the Geneva translation well rendereth it or make him great ponderous weighty in glory but by our New translation it is commonly rendered glorisie or make glorious or eminently Honour So Psal 86. 9. they shall glorifie thy name and vers 12. I will glorifie thy name and Psal 50. 23. he glorifies me Levit. 10. 3. I will be glorified So. Ezek. 28. 22. The same verb here made use of to express the Honour of Parents as is to express the glory of God It sheweth evidently that it is no ordinary measure of Honour which Children owe to their Parents the very name and relation of a Father and Mother is a glorious thing and hath glory and excellency in it the word derived from this verb 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 in the Text is used to denominate and point out peculiar excellency as Exod. 28. 2. Aarons garment must be made 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 for glory or garments of peculiar excellency Gen. 45. 13. shew him all my glory 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 my eminency of Honours Authority Respect and the like and the verb it self is made such use of Esay 43. 3 4. thou hast been honourable or glorious as others render it or most eminent in Honour in Hebrew 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 and Psal 87. 2. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 glorious things or matters of transcendent and renouned excellency are spoken of thee now the same word used here must needs note peculiar eminency of Honour of Parents to be due from their Children Let us now make application of what hath been spoken The use serveth 1. For Reproof and that 1. Use of Reproof 1. Of Children for dishonour of Parents 1. Of Children for their dishonouring slighting and despising of their Fathers and Mothers It was of old reproved sharply in those of Jerusalem in Ezek. 22. 7. Formerly mentioned In thee they have set light by Father and Mother Solomon brandeth the fool or unregenerate person for this as his vile property Prov. 15. 20. the foolish man despiseth his Mother this is point blanck crosse to the fifth Commandement It is highest injustice not to give even your Parents their due one should think none should cut their Parents short of their right now this Honour is their right and therefore it is highest injustice in any Child to debar them of their right The word in Ezek. 22. 7. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 is directly opposite to the Hebrew word used in my Text And it signifieth to make lighter or to make abatement of due weight or measure of any thing as say of Honour of credit of commodities or the like
Children have nothing to give Parents to be a temptation to bribe their affections to them nor are they of any power to curb them any way to enforce respects to them and so they are more pure Whereas in both these regards Childrens respects to Parents may be leavened Yea Parents as Parents are instruments in Gods hands of their Childrens Souls being in their bodies and so of the faculties of their Souls and so of their naturall affections in them and of that affection of love and fear amongst the rest and therefore they may well chalenge the honourable improvement of them to themselves so far as God alloweth the same To conclude Children will never honour Parents with the honour of Reverence Obedience or Recompence or the like unlesse they give the honour of respect love due to them therefore give them this their due Now that Children may be helped and furthered in doing this Helps to it 1 Dread of the vile sin of unnaturalnesse 1. Possesse your hearts with a deep sense and dread of the heinous nature of the sin of unnaturalness which is wont to be accompanied with the vilest sins against God and Man as by comparing Rom. 2. 28 29 30 31 32. and 2 Tim. 3. 2 3 4. may be discerned Such persons who are without naturall affections commonly proving Blasphemous against God ingrateful to God and men unholy truce and Covenant-breakers whisperers back-biters false accusers of others they are commonly given to uncleanness and wantonness they are fierce and furious of a cruell Salvage unmercifull implacable spirit they are despisers of those that are good they are even haters of God they are haters of other men of a spightfull malicious quarrelsome and envious Spirit in a word They are full of all unrighteousnesse and deceit themselves and inventors of evill things evill opinions evill practises ringleaders in sin authors of sin to others If sundry of these scandalous persons in old and new England were closely search'd into they would be found to be persons who have been are unnaturall to their Parents 2. Take heed of any leading causes which breed and feed unnaturalness and undermine naturall 2. Avoiding causes of unnaturalnesse of affection as 1. Ignorance affection to Parents such as are 1. Ignorance of God and of his word and of the matters of Religion Rom 1. 31. without understanding without naturall affection if without understanding what wonder if without naturall affection 2. Self-love for they that are so full of self-love 2. Self-love have never a due proportion of love left for God or man for Parents or others 2 Tim. 3. 2. For men shall be lovers of themselves and verse 3. without naturall affection 3. A worldly covetous Spirit ibid. Covetous 3. Covetousnesse without naturall affection a Spirit of the love of the world will eat out as the love of the Father of our Spirits John 2. 15. so that of the Father of our flesh also whose Fatherhood is an Image of that in God Such if they shew respect to Parents it is but for their own advantage and gaine and if the respect to them may not stand with their gain or must be to their outward losse then adieu respect to Parents 4. A proud Spirit 2 Tim. 3. 3 4. Without naturall affection high-minded Absolom who was so Pride high-minded what wonder is it if he prove so unnaturall to his Father 5. A Voluptuous Spirit ibid. Without naturall affection lovers of pleasures more then lovers of God Voluptuousnesse They that respect their pleasures so much they never respect God as they shold nor their parents Esaus inordinatenesse of affection to his hunting brings him to that Gen. 25. that he despiseth his birth-right as his Fathers eldest Son and therein virtually despiseth his Father and his voluptuous desires after the Canaanitish women make him carelesse of grieving his Father and Mother and so far unnaturall to them Gen. 26. 3. Getting their hearts truly turned to the Lord. 3. Labour to get your hearts turned to God effectually and in love with him as a Father and then whatsoever alienations of heart there were in you from your Parents before yet then Childrens hearts will be also turned fully to your good Parents Ma. 4. 6. Jo. Baptist its said by the blessing of grace upon his Ministry turning persons to the Lord to the faith to the wisedome of the Just as Luke hath said it Luk. 1. 17. he shall turn the hearts of the Children to their good Fathers which whilest the Children were wicked they could not well abide to be controuled reproved curbed and corrected as they were by them and so their good Fathers also whose hearts were much taken off from those Children for their vilenesse should be turned towards their Children or as some say the unnaturall distances bred betwixt Parents and Children by many sects and opinions too rife among the Jewes when by sound doctrine they were brought to rights and to the truth those alienations should be healed Only Cautions about Childrens love to Parents 1. Not such as to approve sin in Parents in the love of Children to Parents let these cautions be observed 1. Look that it be not such as to approve of the evill saiyings principles or practises of your ungodly or of your seducing or seduced Parents It s blamed in them Psal 40. 13. their posterity approve their sayings Jer. 7. 18. The Children gather wood and the Fathers kindle a fire and the women knead the dough to make Cakes to the Queen of heaven 2 King 15. 13. Asaph loved his Mother well as his Mother but he hateth her Idol he destroyeth and burneth it Abraham loveth his Father Terah well but will not go after his way of Idol-worship Josh 24. 2 3. God commendeth it in the Son who seeth all his fathers sins and considereth and doth not such like Ezek. 18. 14. 2. Let it not be such as to follow their evill Of 2. Such as to follow their sinfull Counsell Counsel in any thing as Ahaziah who walked in the waies of Ahab for his Mother was his Consellour 2 Chron. 22. 3. And as Herodias who being before instructed of her Mother said to Herod give me here John Baptists head in a charger Mat. 14. 8. 3. Let it not be so as to keep their dangerous Or 3. Such as to keep their sinfull Counsel and wicked Counsel in any way of wickednesse but rather seasonably to reveal it Michol Sauls Daughter did well in this to tell her husband David of her Fathers Sauls bloody design against him so that he escaped 1 Sam. 19. 11 12. The like did Jonathan to David Cap. 20 3 4. 4. That it be not so as when you are called of Or 4. Not to bear seasonable witness against their evils God to it then not to bear seasonable witnesse against their sin as in case of Parents seducing Children from the Lord and his
yea also in those spirituall matters of their souls in the things and comforts of God and of his word and seals and services c. The way to have body and soul to do well and prosper yea the way to have God himself shining and smiling upon children to have Gods blessing upon childrens reading hearing and meditating of the word to have God answering even their prayers to have God ordering all things for good to them which befall them to have God to be with them and bless all they do take in hand to do well by them in life and death is to yeeld due and true obedience to Parents Prov. 15. 5. is verified in obedientiall hearkning to Parents counsels or rebukes the eare that heareth reproof abideth among the wise It is amonst the number of them else that care or person would not hearken but which is more it abideth among them such an one doth not apostatize from the company and condition of persons truly wise I fear if the bottom of the Apostasie of many promising professors now a daies were searched into this would be found there they were or are disobedient children to their parents but as for the obedient God is so well pleased with them that he thinks he can never deal well enough with them Now in the third place we shall make use of 1. Use of reproof of childrens this branch even of siliall obedience the use whereof serveth 1. For reproof and that first of children 1. Of such who in shew express obedience to 1. Pretended obedience your Parents commands but in reality do it not like the Son in the Parable who when bid by his Father to go and work in his Vineyard he saith I go Sir but went not Matth. 21. 30. Or if you do any thing which for the matter of it is injoyned by your Parents yet formally and properly it s not filial obedience but rather yeelding obedience to some lust of your own which biddeth you do such and such things which Parents enjoyn As when a covetous lust will put you on to do your Fathers will and work that you may have the gain of it or the like or if you do at length what Parents require in a better manner yet it may abase you that you did it not more readily and seasonably you first were too disobedient in your carriage like the Son in the parable that said at first he would not Matth. 21. 28 29. Afterward indeed he repented and went and so at last did the will of his Father But it was to him and by proportion should be to you a ground of penitent shame and sorrow that at first you were so disobedient 2. Of such children who are plainly disobedient 2. Disobedience to parents to your Parents and persist in it or at least continue too long in it without repentance for the same Some there are that when their Parents do even stoop somewhat below themselves and not command so much as intreat them to do this or that lawfull thing at their request yet will boldly deny their parents desires like the Elder Son in the Parable who when his Father commeth out to him and intreateth him to come in will not come in Luk. 15. 28 29. Some when their Parents would have them of an honest calling or course of life as more fit for that and such as may be more serviceable to God and men in it yet will not be ruled no they must take to some other course that their foolish hearts like better or else their Parents cannot be in quiet like Adonijah that contrary to God and his Father Davids mind would needs be a King when yet he was no way fitted for it 1 King 1. Some will like those in Gen. 6. 2. be matching but as themselves only foolishly fansie and Parents cannot be at rest for them but they must needs have such a one like Sampson Judg. 14. 2. He came and told his Father and Mother saying I have seen a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistins now therefore get her for me to wife and when his Parents wisely and faithfully replyed vers 3. Is there never a daughter among all my people that thou goest to take a wife of the uncircumcised Philistins Sampson saith to his Father get her for me for she pleaseth me or is right enough in mine eyes Some children are grown to such an height of disobedience as they are grown stubborn resolute wilful in their disobedience they are long habituated in it they will not now be counselled commanded reproved or corrected by Parents they are above that they are past that they will be no longer curbed or controlled not they by Mother or Father either but little do you consider what a black brand you do carry herein upon your selves of your reprobation and as a token thereof of your judiciall hardening It was said of Esau Esau have I hated or in my counsell rejected Rom. 9. and what a grief of mind was he to his Parents by disobedient carriage in his matches Gen. 26. When God hath a mind to ruinate Elies Sons as men of Belial whom he abhorred 1 Sam. 2. 25. It s said they hearkened not to the voyce of their Father they would on in their course say the old man what he will to the contrary because the Lord would slay them Their counsels commands checks rebukes yea and corrections too are not hearkened to but all slighted to make way for the fatall ruin of children devoted and destinated to saddest ends either by the hand of some enemies as in the case of Hophni and Phineas 1 Sam. 2. 25. compar'd with Chap. 4. 11. or by the hand of civill justice as Deut. 21. 20 21. they bring out their stubborn Son that will not be ruled by them and he is stoned to death sometimes by some more immediate hand of God as that disobedient yong man which would none of the voyce of his teachers parents or others he hated their reproofs c. He is smitten by dreadfull horror of conscience inwardly whence that dolefull mourning at last when it is too late Prov. 5. 11 12 13. and with lothsome diseases outwardly he even rotteth above ground and pineth away his flesh and body is consumed ibid. And hence we might give instances of very dreadfull examples of the lives and deaths of stubborn and disobedient children and what other can be expected when they are in that black rowl of persons given up of God to a reprobate mind Rom. 1. 28. He gave them up to a mind void of judgement to do those things which are not convenient being filled with all unrighteousness v. 29 c. disobedient to parents v. 30. 2. It serveth to reprove parents who any way 2. Of parents occasioning childrens disobedience 1. By abusing their Authority occasion disobedience in children 1. By abusing their authority in giving out unjust commands to them which the