into a serpent would soone deuoure ours and if our earthen vessells should encounter with thine stronger then brasse how can they escape breaking must not our weake ships if driven with the tempest of thine anger they fall vpon that rocke of thine be needs grinded into their owne elements of dust Therefore be mercifull vnto mee O Lord because I am weake The strong will arrogate the glorie to themselues and say by the strength of their owne arme they haue gotten themselues the victorie but in shewing mercie to the weake not vnto them but vnto thy name thou giuest glorie For there are none so reprobate but in thy mercie to the weake they will confesse that it is the finger of the Lord. Let not then the sun-shine of thy grace go downe in thy wrath but refresh and releeue a pore Lazar a weak fainting soule lying begging at the doore of thy rich mercie and desiring to be satisfied but with the crummes that fal from thy heauenly table with the least if any little of thy graces For thy least grace as those fiue loaues is able to suffice thousands as thy least anger if thy mercie should not meete and kisse it were enough as an other deluge to ouerwhelme the whole world That is the two-edged sword that pierceth the very bones and diuideth vnto the marrow so that for selfe-guiltines and horrour therof my very bones are vexed and euen that small strength I had powred out as water vpon the ground It is only the powring out of thy bowels of compassion that can gather me vp againe onely the soueraigne hand of thy mercie that can heale the wounds wherewith the seuere hand of thy iustice hath so deepely impierced me Vers. 3. My soule is also sore troubled but Lord how long wilt thou punish IF thy lightning O Lord had onely ceazed on my bones and had not past my bodily sheath and entred into my soule my spirit like a faithfull companion should haue giuen some rest to my earthly tabernacle and helpt to heale my infirmitie but a wounded spirit in a bruised and broken bodie who can beare Thou hast melted my very soule within mee the venime of thine arrowes hath drunke vp my spirits so that now both my bodie is vexed because my soule hides it selfe from his comfort and because thou hidest thy face my soule is troubled And in what waters doth that Behemoth delight to drinke but in such as are most troubled who nowe like a cunning fisher hath laid his baites and hooks in euery part of my soule while I in these troubled waters am not able to discerne or discouer them but since thou hast sent thine Angel O Lord as into the poole of Bethesda to trouble the waters and they are gone ouer my soule and my bodie with Ionas is cast into the tempest O let me come out in thy good time whole and recured of all my infirmities let the tempest of thine anger be at lēgth appeased How long shall my sacrificed soule vnder this altar of flesh wherein it hath been so long crucified cry vnto thee how long Lord holy and true before thou wilt heare the voice and auenge the cause of our martyred spirits iustly complaining against the men of the earth our earthly ly members Thine answer is but for a little season but euen a little time O Lord semeth long without thee and as a thousand yeares is but a day with thee so a day is as a thousand yeares without thee But is this a question for me who can make no ende of sinning to aske when thou wilt be pleased to make an ende of thy punishment May not thy answer be to me iustly the same with that of Iehu to sinfull Ahabs motion of peace what hast thou to doe with peace as long as the iniquities of Iesabel nay farre worse remaine in thee True Lord if thou still looke on me with the eie of thy iustice which is as those eies which kill what they behold I knowe thou must needes still punish me since the bow and sword of thy iustice neuer depart emptie from the battells of the Lord against sinne and sinners but thou hast two eies O God one of Iustice another of Mercie O let thine eie of Iustice looke vpon the merits of thy Sonne an obiect able to delight euen that iust eie but bend thine eie of mercie vpon the miseries of thy seruant that so when thy iustice hath seene my miseries made his his merits by thy mercie maie be made mine Vers. 4. Turne thee O Lord and deliuer my soule O saue me for thy mercie sake IF thou but turne thee O Lord and looke gratiously out of heauen vpon me the powers of darkenesse with the shadowes of death will at thy first fight as at the daie breaking flie all away but because I turned from thee with my Father the first Adam by pride and returned not vnto thee by humility with thy Sonne the second Adam but would needes leaue Ierusalem to goe to Iericho therefore am I fallen among theeues who haue spoiled and wounded me leauing me nothing but a cureles bodie and a carelesse soule that sending out perpetuall streames and issues of blood readie presently to die this not knowing but denying thee his Maker by whome onely it is able to liue O if thou wouldst but turn aside with the mercifull Samaritan or turne backe as to the woman diseased with a fluxe of blood or turne thine eie onely vpon me as vpon Peter my wounds should be washed the issues of blood stopped and my deniall pardoned Turne thee therefore and remember Dauids troubles O Lord. Shall the hand of little Dauid O thou most mightie if a rauenous beare breake into his flocke and steale awaie a sheepe or if a roaring Lion sallie out of his denne and rent awaie a lambe from him be able to deliuer them both from the mouth of the beare and the pawe of the Lion and shalt not thou be much more able to rescue the sheepe of thy fold and lambs of thy flocke Or is that wild beast of the wood or that roaring lion that going about hath long sought and now while thy face is turned away hath found whome to deuoure euen my dismaied soule able to make greater resistance against thee then those against Dauid Or was his Flocke dearer to him thē thine is to thee Or can Dauid become more mercifull then his God Or if thou be that gratious God of whom Dauid hath so often sung that Thy mercie endureth for euer thy mercie endureth for euer is thy mercie come now vtterly to an end or hast thou forgotten to be gratious and shut vp thy bowells of compassion for euer and euer Or what is it is my sinne greater then it can be forgiuen that so my wickednesse should exceed thy goodnesse No no none of these If David deliuered his lambe from the pawe of the beare thou deliueredst Dauid frō the pawe of the Lion if he
Isâ—achar seeing the rest good and the land pleasant to sit me downe betweene my burthens so that as one buried aliue there should want nothing but Senocas epitaph passing by the house of a sluggish citizen Hìc situs est Vatia here lies one that only serued to make one qui nulla re alia nisi otio notus consenuit only by keeping tale of the many yeares of his age standing grew old died For such a life if it be any thing at the best it is but as Pyndarus prizes it a shadow a dreame such a bodie but the soules sepulchre and such a soule fit for nothing but to embalme a carcase and keepe it from putrefaction But though such be the quiet contented and pleasing life we lead here in the Vniuersitie which from the pleasant situation thereof hath long since wonne the surname of Bellositum such indeed that I may borrow the Italians proverbe of Venice that he who hath not seene it and liued in it cannot prise it marrie he that liues there it costs him deare though such I say be the content I find here that had I liued neuer so many yeares yet according to the epitaph of that noble Romane who dying old professed he had beene long indeed but liued onely seauen yeares which free from the seruice of the Court he had past quietly at his countrie farme I might well number the daies of my life onely from the time I beganne my studie here and iustly blesse the meanes thereof as farre as euer Augustine did his freinds liberalitie strayning themselues to maintaine him at the Vniversitie of Carthage yet farre be it from me to make that quiet and content which God hath giuen but as meanes for the furthering of better ends my vtmost end or as if I were in my proper place where each bodie is quiescent to set vp my rest and make me a Tabernacle here No man I know was expulsed paradise to labour and not to make himselfe another paradise elsewhere for ease and pleasure And as farre doe I wish from our Vniuersitie all such priests as sacrifice here to Vacuna the goddesse of idlenes as her Temple was remooued out of the gates of Rome For mine owne part as fearefull and as breefe as the trumpe of iudgement alwaies sounded in Saint Hieromes cares is Saint Pauls woe euer before mine eyes if I preach not the Gospel and when I leaue my diligence in my calling or loue my ease or pleasure more then that nay if I preferre not Sion in all my mirth then God do so to me and more and leaue me likewise as indeed vnlesse he leaue me I cannot leaue his seruice For according to that reason which that glorious Martyr gaue the Tyrant why he could not choose but alwaies remember the name of Iesus it is written in my heart it cannot out And therefore I will gladly make the Prophets contestation my owne Let my right hand forget that little skill it hath when I forget Gods seruice yea let my tongue cleaue to the roofe of my mouth and forget to speake when it forgets to speake of thy word and testimonies But though this ease and quiet hath not had power to captiuate me yet peradventure I stand off as ashamed of the Gospel of Christ Iesus repenting me of my choise as if like Demas I could be content to forsake the Ministerie and follow the world No I shall euer magnifie my calling as my crowne my reioycing and thinke my selfe much more bound to giue thankes to almightie God in this behalfe then Plato because he was made a Grecian rather then a Barbarian And so farre euer was I from Hercules crosse-way to demur and debate the matter that as if this one thing were necessarie I euer minded and intended it alone and howsoeuer in other things I wish to put off childishnes and grow in wisedome as in yeares yet shall I neuer be ashamed in this behalfe stil to thinke as when I was a child but rather it shall be my daily prayer as it was Gods for the Israelites when their heart was right that the same heart be euer in me and for euer so affected to my calling But happily as the louelinesse thereof hath allured me so the difficultie therof now deterreth me and the greatnes of the charge beeing as one tearmes it Onus Angelicis humeris formidandum such a burden that the angels themselues would tremble to vndergo it doth so discourage mee that with Gedeons faint souldiers for feare I desire to be dismissed from this warfare and beeing called to so great a charge like feareful Saul seeke to lurke and avoide so troublesome a function Indeede if I thought it enough to pretend authorities as that Braggadochian said hee would be with them paulò post principia after the fraie was well begunne and the worst past and good reason why for fecerunt Herules Pyrrhus I haue presidents inough before me to countenance my weakenes and fearefulnesse For Moses thrice refused and excused himselfe euen till God was angrie Ezechiel for all God so laboured to strengthen and confirme him yet went vnwillingly yea in bitternesse and indignation of his spirit and Ionas directly turned his backe fled an other way How many of the Fathers whilst they tooke counsel with flesh and blood withdrew their haÌ„ds from the Lords plough This made Ambrose hide himselfe and three times flie from Millaine and when he was miraculously brought backe after he had trauelled all night finding himselfe in the morning but at an other gate of the same citie though one of singular integritie he sought to defame himselfe to trie if by any means he might avoid this pastorall charge This drove Gregorie Nazianzene to flie againe and againe to the studie of Philosophie And this caused S. Augustine to absent himselfe from Churches where pastors were wanting and euen to weepe when taken vnawares he was to be ordered and to deprecate the Episcopall function put vpon him by Valerian in these tearmes Quid vis vt peream as if it stood him as much vpon as his life and soules saluation came vnto But of all Chrysostome is most plaine in this point Ex Ecclesiae ministris non arbitror multos saluari translating vpon Ministers that hard saying of our Sauiour with what difficultie rich men shall be saued because of the greatnesse of their charge and their negligence therin But though this difficultie haue made many so backward that the Lord of the haruest hath been forced euen to thrust out labourers into his vinyard yet while I remember nihil esse difficilius c. sed apud Deum nihil beatius c. the one so ballanceth the other that I professe the difficultie thereof though I duly waigh it yet waighing withal from whome and to what ende it is it
saith of physicke which concernes the health of the bodie is much more true in Diuinitie which concernes the health of the soule that vita breuis ars longa it is not the short span or scantling of any mortalls life can measure the length thereof but euen the Angels and Saints in heauen after this liues vnperfit glasse is broken find worke enough in this diuine study to employ themselues for all eternitie No wonder then if all our indeauours in compare can do no more then according to S. Augustines vision walking by the sea side in deepe contemplation of the Trinitie as if a child with a cockle shell should labour by continual lauing to empty the maine ocean sea into a little ditch the one if we looke here for exact comprehension beeing as endlesse as the other And though it be a fond ridiculous question that Velleius the epicure makes in Tullie that if God did indeed make the world how or whence had he ferramenta machinas instruments great enough for so great a worke yet it may with better reason be doubted how a mortall man can possibly frame fit instruments proportionate to the immensitie of such an immortall worke For when all is done as a Philosopher said all our knowledge makes not vp the least part of our ignorance yea as a father better obserued our highest degree of knowledge is to professe ignorance since what we see here we see but vnperfectly as in a glasse these imperfect shadowes beeing onely conueied as it were by setting perspectiue glasses from so farre a distance as the heauen and earth are distant Since then all our liues labour can attaine to little more then the alphabet and rudiments of this infinite studie blame me not if I hauing yet scarce dipt my foote nor gone vp to the anckles in that riuer of Ezechiel be somewhat timorous how I goe further on before I haue fathomed the depth thereof and found some foord or passage For if the greatest Orators at the Rostra beeing to speake but before the people in ciuil affaires as Tullie often professeth of himselfe did quake euery ioynt of them and according to the Poet Lugdunensem rhetor dicturus ad aram Palluit vt nudis qui pressit calcibus anguem were so appalled as if they walked among snakes because they ventured in triall the extreame hazard of their fame credit for euer after how much more ought we to feare and tremble standing in his Temple the place where his honour dwelleth and speaking in the sight of God Men and Angels And therefore I thinke I haue the same reason to borrow respite as that Philosopher had to deferre his resolution from day to day of Hieroes question concerning God because the further I goe and the more I thinke of these Diuine mysteries the more difficulties I meet withall I must confesse indeede there was a time heretofore when dulce bellum inexperto I thought I might with as great facilitie promise and performe a sermon as I had done heretofore a declamation but as while the sun shines not the house seemes cleare but the sunne-beames once shining in at the windowes so thicke of motes and dust that it hath gained a prouerbs place to make comparison of thicknes thereunto so now not before that I am a little inlightened and entred I see those wants and imperfections that before in the shadow of Philosophie I neuer dreamed of and those difficulties I heretofore did little thinke of Indeed if I could content my selfe with a perfunctorie performance as many doe it may be little ado would serue the turne but I dare not so take vp my rest when as my very soule and eternall life is at stake and pawne vpon it fully perswading my selfe that if my paines exceed not the complementall formalitie of these Pharisies I shall neuer come to the kingdome of heauen Wherefore as the shekel of the Sanctuarie as interpreters do gather from diuers passages of Scripture was double to the commō shekel so doe I well perceiue that double paines and space to that I heretofore bestowed in my other studies of Phosophie and humanitie is requisite to sanctifie me for the Lords Sanctuarie and howsoeuer it may be faultie in other ciuill and worldly affaires which Apelles was wont to reprehend in curious Protogenes Quòd manum de tabula continere non potuit thinking it neuer perfect enough yet in Diuinitie Zeuxis reason will answer any that is reasonable Diu pingo quia pingo immortalitati that as he was wont to be long a drawing because he desired so to drawe that it might last for euer so in this diuine studie we must haue the longer leaue to limate the lineaments of our portraicts because the impresses we make are to hold their impression for al eternitie Experience teacheth vs that euery triuiall mechanick trade doth ask at least seauen yeares apprentiship or learning for so the French word signifieth and that so much more time is allotted to each worke by how much the worke is more exquisite how then can they be excused that so farre abase the valuation hereof as though there were no difference betweene prophesying and selling doues in the Temple and in stead of polishing the corner stones of the Temple for hast daube it vp with vntempered mortar I feare I confesse the woe of such negligent workmen and feare withall I should prooue no better did I like those hot-spurres vnripe and vnready as I am make so suddain an adventure For as those captiue kings said of Gedeons young and therefore vnwarlike son Such as the man is such is his strength no wonder if as young Dauid I cannot yet march in compleat armour neither yet vpon the strength of a little meat dare Eliah-like vndertake so great a iourney neither yet in this weakenes venture in publike into the open aire to my further danger but rather keepe close within till I growe the stronger There was fiue yeares silent hearing enioyned a Pythagorist for the learning of his symbolls and therefore with safety may I a while awaite like Elihu vpon the words of the ancient thereby to aspire to the knowledge of our christian mysteries And indeed our Vniuersities hath well prouided in this case calling none to publique course of preaching till he be of fowre yeares stāding Master of arts which authoritie though it might iustly sway me since when we proceede we are bound by a formall oath to keepe the customes as well as the statutes and priuiledges of the Vniuersitie yet haue I also a greater authoritie then that for my warrant euen that of our Sauiour to passe the like example of Iohn Baptist his Coetanean born the same yeare who beeing the wisedome of his Father in whome is the fulnesse of all graces so that he could aswell haue preached at twelue yeares old as haue disputed with Doctors yet
mee I see no other but a two-edged sword proceed out of his mouth for my destruction and me thinkes hee is a prouiding whips to scourge me out of his Temple returning those stripes those thornes those wounds vpon mee which he hath vnworthily borne for mee denying any more to beare my crosse so that now though I crie vnto him Lord Lord he will not know mee nor suffer mee any more to haue a part in the Sonne of Ishai Since therefore thy sword is drawne O Lord against mee what can I doe but laie downe my necke and submit my selfe to the stroke of that Axe that cutteth downe all vnfruitfull and ill-fruitfull Trees For if euen the death of a sinner and ruine of a wretched soule please thee and may any way satisfie thy Iustice as indeed it cannot for thou delightest not in the death of a sinner oh how willingly should I cast away my selfe with Ionas to accalme the tempest of thine anger against mee but alas it is not my sacrifice can expiate my sins It were a good fruit of my bodie if it might be offered for the sin of my soule but how can that satisfie for sinne which it selfe is most sinnefull O no I confesse O Lord that I haue no other sinne-offering but my repentance left nor other burnt-offering then an aggrieued heart nor other drink-offering then teares nor other incense then my sighes nor other propitiation or Priest and Mediatour then thy selfe O Christ. Thou art our King to protect vs our Prophet to teach vs our Priest to make an attonement for vs and thou hast promised to make vs also Kings Priests and Prophets vnto thy Father but such is my vnworthinesse O Lord that often when I would take vpon mee the Priests office and offer my prayers as thou hast taught mee vnto my Father which is in heauen for pardon that I am quite confounded and haue nothing at all to say for my selfe and though I knowe thou art able to cure my dumbnesse yet it is safer for mee to heare thee open thy mouth to thy Father for mercie then let my mouth be opened to crie for vengeance against my selfe For I more vnnaturall then Caine haue slaine not my yonger brother but my selfe nor my selfe only but my elder brother therefore my blood cannot but with Abells crie to heauen for vengeance against him that spilt it but when I listen what the crie of thy blood my elder brother is whom my sinne hath slaine O how much better things doe I heare it speake then the blood of Abel Father forgiue him besides if I speake for my selfe my words are like the winde that passe away and goe I know not whither but most likely with my selfe into the Land where all things are forgotten but thine are like thine owne essence O Lord who art the eternall word such as heauen and earth may sooner passe away theÌ„ one tittle of theÌ„ Do thou therfore O gratious Sauiour speake and mediat for me let the many wounds inflicted on thee for my sinnes be as so many mouthes to craue mercie for me O let thy blood as when thou wert wounded it fel on the base earth be distilled also by the grace and merit thereof vpon me a vile and vnworthy sinner how happie were I if as thou madest Adam of red earth so thou hadst made me of that fruitfull red ground which thou vouchsafedst to water with thine owne blood Let thy stripes O Christ goe for the many stripes wherewith I as an euill seruant deserue to be beaten thy death for that eternall death my sinnes haue as their hire deserued and thy descent into hell for mine to free me from thence Indeede if thou wert as man is prone to anger nay were thine anger kindled but a little and were not thy mercy rather as farre aboue mans reason as his merit how long since had I perished from the land of the liuing If I looke vpon my sinnes me thinks I should alwaies see thee before me as thine Angel in the way of Baalim with the sword of thy iustice drawne against me vpon which as mad men doe vpon weapons my sinnes make mee wilfully to runne and I seem to my selfe to lie as Isaac vnder thy sword for sacrifie still expecting when thou shouldst come by mee in the whirlewindes earthquakes and tempests of thy iudgements yet to see how thou that no man might denie it to proceed only of grace and not of merit chusest rather to come in the still and soft voice of thy mercies euen vnto vs sinners wilt that thy holy spirit the spirit of meeknes come down rather in the forme of a doue without gal theÌ„ of a consuming fire vnto vs. How far art thou from desiring the death of a sinner that wheÌ„ we were both branch and roote vnder the Axe of thy iudgements and as Isaac readie to be sacrificed and made a sinne offring didst prouide thy selfe a Lambe yea thy selfe the Lambe to saue vs and to set vs free How readie art thou to snatch the perishing brand out of the fire how soone entreated to forbeare and spare the fruitlesse figtree not doing that vnto the dry tree which thou hast done vnto the greene O see if euer there were loue like thy loue thy loue and mercie as thy selfe transcending all If euer thou repentest it is of thine anger not of thy mercie if euer thou hearest not our prayers it is because they tend to our owne hurt if thou hidest thy face it is that we might seek thee and if thou fliest froÌ„ vs that we might follow after thee more eagerly if thy iustice take vengeance it shall bee onely vpon those that hate thee and in theÌ„ but to the fourth generation but if thy mercie begin to shewe it selfe it will content it selfe with no lesse then a thousand generations O thou immortall goodnes and beauty of heauen draw me vnto thee with the bands of thy loue and with the same cordes bind me that I breake not from thee let me be ward vnto the King of heauen thy grace be my Guardian Then shal mine inheritaÌ„ce and my lines fall vnto mee in a faire Land euen in the vineyard and Paradise of my God whereof though the first could not yet the second Adam with his blood as Nabaoth hath kept possession out of which neither the serpent nor all the powers of darknes shal be euer able to expell me so thou onely but suffer the weak hand of my faith to lay hold on thy crosse and to eate of the fruit of that tree of life For if thou be with me I shall be safe death shall haue no sting sinne no poyson hell no victorie For thou hast ouercome all the power of hell and death not for thy selfe ouer whome it could haue no power but for vs whose weakenesse could make no resistance but if thou absent thy selfe though but for a while my weake faith which had the boldnes to cast me out vpon the sea of thy mercie that so with Peter I might meete thee walking vpon the waters will neuer haue the courage if it see the waues rise to vphold it self Lord stretch out thy hand and saue me from sinking and so henceforth binde the sacrifice with cords vnto the Altar fasten me vnto thy crosse O Christ and spread thy selfe in thy merits and mercies as Elias vpon me that I may recouer life and though out of due season be borne vnto thee O graunt me any one of the menest places of the many mansions of thy Fathers house and when Israel thy chosen children and thy invited Ghests set with thee at thy great marriage feast and many come from East to West to set with Abraham in thy kingdom when thy seruants are placed may but I take the lowest place at thy table so when thou hast fedde thousands behold thee breaking vnto me but of thy broken bread or but be suffered to gather vp the crummes vnder that heauenly table and my hungrie and thirstie soule satisfied with that angelicall Manna made drunk with the pleasures of thy house shall neuer hunger or thirst more In the mean time while I dwell in this corruptible Tabernacle O let that grace of thine which shines vpon thy worthier Seruants if any worthy vnder whose roofe thou shouldst come as thou visitest other Publicans and sinners turne in vnto thy Seruants house and dine with him FINIS Plutarch Gen. 43.9 Gen. 28.12 Isa. 37.3 1. Sam. Harmon pag. 117. Plutarch in Ages Gen. 49.6 Revel Matt. 25.9 Iob 40.18 Pers. Sat. 1. Bion apud Laert. Plut. Ier. 48.10 Eccl. 10.16 1. Cor. 3.2 part 3. c. 26. Matt. 23.4 1. Tim 3 6. Iudg. 4. Matt. 7.17 King on Ionas 2. Sam. 18.23 Isa. 54.1 Plin. l. 35. Cael. Rh. Cicer. Aristot. l. 2 Phys. Act. 17.18 Ioh. 9.6 Aquin. Eccl. 4.17 Prou. 6.9 10. Cicer. de Orat. Epist. ad Luc. Aul. Gell. Confess â—â—b 4. Alex. ab Alex. Epist. 1. Cor. 9.16 Ps. 137.6 Ps. 137.5 Cicer. Tusc. qu. Luk. 10.41 Deut 5.29 Chrysost. Iudg 7. 1. Sam. Ter â—un Exod. 3. Ezek. 3.14 Ion. 1. Paul in vita Ambr. In eius vita à scipso scripta Possido Aug. Epist. 148. ad Val. Homil. 3. in acta Apost Matt. 9.38 Aug Epist. 148. in inst Quint. Curt. Matt. 22.37 Aug. epist. Act. 20.24 Act. 20.24 Phil. 2.12 In tersinitum insinitum c. Prolog in lib. Retr Num. 11 2â— Plut. Eph. 3.8 Greg. Rom. 11.33 Preface in Lull Psal. 42.7 Hipp. proem in Apho Possidor in eius vita 1. De Nat. Deor. Rom. 13.12 Ezek. 47.3 Cic. Totis artubus contremisco 2. Cor. 2.17 Tull. l. 1. de nat Deor. Calvin in Exod. 30 â—3 Gen. 23.15 Plin. l 35. Plut. Laert. Tu iurabis c. Luk. 2. Ioseph antiq Gregor de curâ Past. part 3. c. 26 Possidor 2. Tim. 4 1. Seneca magni emit qui precatur ad finem Epist. predict 1. Sam. 17.28 29. Eccl. 12.