presumption the other would drive him to despair in short there is nothing does more resemble his life then the taking a pipe of tobacco for his gains proffits are that which he sucks in his expences disburstments that which he puffes out his actions like the smoake are offensive to many and pleasing to few or none at length he knocks out the ashes and so Concludes But the soul is mans more noble part which is capable of having communion with God and therefore ought not to be subject to the body The body is Hagar the Bondwoman But the soul is Sarah the free Woman Sarah must not be a slave to Hagar if the flesh deny subjection to the spirit she must like Hagar by mortification be put away that so the free born soul may enjoy her liberty which is to serve God The Philosopher gives this definition of the soul Anima Rationalis est perfectio Corporis Organici The Perfection of the body Now as the soul is the perfection of the body so is Christ the perfection of the soul For as the body without the soul is but a loathsom lump of rotteness and putrefaction so the soul without Christ is a thing dead in sin as odious in the sight of God as that in the eyes of men As salt that hath lost its savour such is the soul that hath lost its Saviour There are two faculties of a Rational soul the will and the understanding which mutually help and assist one the other I have heard of two men which travelled together the one blind and the other lame the blind carried the lame and the lame directed the blind The will of man is blind and therefore must be directed by the understanding The understanding is lame and therefore must be carried by the will When truth it self treated of self denial he commanded us to cut off Right hands and to pull out right eyes Where note that he means not the members of the body but the faculties of the soul the understanding is the souls eye by which she sees The will is her hand by which she acts and these or said to offend when they offend God but when the one is joyned with faith and the other with obedience they are both instrumental to bring us to the enjoyment of our Saviour for by the understanding we know Christ and by the will we lay hold of him Every man is either spiritual or carnal like Solomons two Harlots The one carries a living child in her bosome that is the spirit the other a dead one that is the flesh The living child is that which breaths in holy desires cries in devout prayers sucks in hearing the word grows in grace and is made perfect in glory but the dead neither growes cries feeds nor breaths but is a peice of formal deceit a religious carcase a whited sepulcher which is beautiful without but within ful of corruption The first thing which he that was miraculously restored to his sight beheld was men like trees walking there is nothing in all the creation so fit an emblem of man as a tree for as in trees there are three things to be observed leaves blossomes and fruit so also in men there are three things to be considered words thoughts and deeds He that is onely verbally good is like the Barren fig tree which brought forth nothing but leaves The words of men are like the leaves of the trees yet oftentimes we know by the leaves what Fruit the tree beareth the words of the malicious are like the leaves of Holly very offensive and full of prickles the words of the unconstant are like the leaves of Aspine continualy wavering and not to be credited the words of the deceitful are like the fig leaves which they sew together and make both coverings for their nakedness and cloakes for their iniquity as for thoughts they are but blossoms for he that onely thinks to doe good and puts it not into excecution like K. Agrippa or the young man in the Gospel is a false fair promising tree that is full of blossomes but the fruit is nipt in the bud blasted and never comes to perfection but mens actions are their fruits some are like sower grapes which set on edge the teeth of all with whom they have to doe others like the apples of Sodome appear fair without but at the first touch turn to ashes but a godly man like a good tree brings forth pleasant fruit which like the sweetnesse of the Vine both pleases God and refreshes men To conclude all men are trees they which are good shall be removed from hence to Paradise but they which are evil shall be cut down and cast into the fire A Religious Prince IS a representative of God in a threefold respect as a Man as a King and as a Christian He is composed of Greatness and Goodness the Conjunction of which Stars portends happiness to his People In his breast is the Throne of Honour and the Parliament of Vertue where Power and and Pietie meet together and Majestie and Mercie kiss each oother The Rod of Moses brought not so many miseries upon Egypt as his Scepter brings blessings upon England His very presence makes his Land become a Canaan for his innocence and sweetness like milk and hony refresh the hearts of all his Loyall Subjects To make him a Man after Gods own heart he hath been educated in afflictions he hath carried the Crosse before he wore the Crown and is religious by his second birth as well as royal by his first so that he is a King not onely by descent but merit for there is none fit to be the Viceroy of Christ as he who hath been twelve yeares his Standard-bearer If you look into the Court wonder not to see phantastick Gentlemen and proud Ladies for even Solomon had his Apes and Peacocks but take notice that he hath besides these a more Heavenly retinue which obtain not their places by bribes or interests The Cardinal Vertues are his Domestick Servants and the Graces are his Maids of Honour His best Harbingers are fervent Prayers His Cup-bearer is Temperance and Divine thoughts attend him in his Bed-chamber when he would be instructed the Holy spirit is of his privie Counsel and when he is in danger the Angels are his Life-Guard He is byas'd in his actions and Ballasted in his passions by the fear of God Augustus Caesar could not so easily allay his anger by repeating the letters of the Greek Alphabet as he by thinking of him who is Α and Ω. In a word we may observe that England in those late bloody times was like the Sonne of Cis Tormented with an evil spirit which could not be driven away till we had sent for David the anointed of the Lord our lawful King How excellently he hath turned his instrument let all the world that sees our Reformation Judge For he hath made Prudence his Tenour Justice his Base and Mercy his
Essayes AND CHARACTERS Written by L. G. LONDON Printed in the year 1661. TO THE READER READER I Suppose thou art now come into the Stationers Shop and inquirest of him if he have any thing that is new were Solomon at thy elbow he would tel thee there is nothing new under the Sun But it is common with Men as wel as children to long for a new nothing And therefore to satisfie thy humour he wil shew thee this Book perhaps for his own advantage he wil say it is a pretty piece if he does I will assure thee he is not of my opinion for whether it will be for his profit and thy pleasure or not I cannot tell I am sure it will not be for my credit It hath been the usuall Apologie of those who appeare in print that it was against their own wils and through the importunate desire of friends forsooth because the World should think them modest but our fault admits of no such lying excuse for it was meerly my own folly and rashnesse that hath thus thrust me upon the Stage of the World where I feare I shall be hiss'd rather then deserve a plaudite I confesse I would willingly have called in my Book when it were but half printed for it appeared unto me to savour more of Drollery then Divinity which my second thoughts or reflections did clearly apprehend I saw that there were but few pages and yet in those few more Errata's both of the Author and Printer then in some great Volumes a true Looking-glasse to represent my life and actions for my yeares have not much exceeded six and twenty and yet perhaps in this small span or little Epitome of age you may read more errors and miscarriages then in his whose years are written in folio and hath outlived fourscore but I hope Gods mercy will forgive the one and thy ingenuity pardon the other However I have now ventured to send it forth into the World and where it shall find entertainment I know not perhaps it may light into some Ladies lap and have so much honour as to possesse the place of her little Dog but let her beware how she handles it for if she be not vertuous It will bite her Yet I have not in any of these following discourses reflected upon any particular Person save only in the Character of a Scandalous Minister where I took for my Copy one whom I had some cause to know in the Country and who I think having an intent that I should draw his picture came to me at London to give me a second view of his Drunkennesse and swearing I had indeed limned him a little more to the life but that I thought it a sin to foul too much paper with so base a subject I have been too guilty of that already for alas whilest I was writing my mind was like a troubled Sea and therefore wonder not if my pen cast up mire and dirt To be too tart and satyrical hath been alwayes my infirmity I was once complained of to the Justices for going about to pistoll a blind Priest with an Ink-horn nor was it strange for might I have had the benefit of the Press no pistoll could have more wounded his body then my Inkhorn would have done his reputation Printing and Guns are two modern inventions the one as well as the other hath made the leaden Mine as distructive to mankind as the golden Men may be said to shoot from the Press as well as from the Artillery some like Jehu to wound others like Jonathan to warn that is either by writing of railing invectives or sober exhortations Polemicall discourses are like shooting at a mark which mark ought to be truth schismatical Pamphlets are Granado's Playes and Romances are squibs crackers which though they wound not with their bullets yet they blind with their powder Reader amongst which of these fire-men thou wilt rank me I know not only I beseech thee put on charity for thy spectacles and read on VALE A Table of the several Subjects of this Book VIZ. ☞ of Man in generall A religious Prince A reverend Divine A vertuous Woman A rigid Presbyterian A debauch'd Courtier An Vniversity Bedle. A Phanatick A Whore A happy Rustick A beastly Drunkard An ignorant old Man A Player A mechanick Magistrate A scandalous Minister A loyal Subject A Male-content A noble Spirit A bad Wife The Rump-Parliament Essayes and Characters Of man in general THis visible world is a great Book written by the hand of God for his own glory and mans use Every Creature is a leaf or page of this Volume but man is the picture of the Author set in the Frontispice He that abuses the Creature makes a base Comment upon a glorious Text but he that abuses himself goes about to deface and blot out the effigies of his Creator Man consists of a soul and a body which are never separated until death and meet not again till the resurrection It was the morning salutation of the page to King Philip Remember that you are a man that is that you have soule and body let the sloathfull man remember that he hath a soule that must be saved and let the proud man remember he hath a body that must die and then the one will not live like a beast neither will the other think himselfe to be an Angel The body is but the tent or cottage of the soul or rather that mantle which when the spirit like Elias ascends into heaven is cast down and left behind upon the earth and as it is said concerning celestial and terrestrial bodies so of these two The glory of the body is one and the glory of the souls is another What is it in which the body or flesh can glory 't is not strength beauty or age for in strength the beasts and fishes in beauty the plants and flowers in age the very Rocks and Stones doe far excel men In breife the body of man is but a brittle earthen vessel the center of diseases a daughter to corruption a sister to the wormes a tenant to the grave a little dust carried by the wind of his vital breath which when the wind ceases falls to the ground and rests in the bosome of the earth from whence it was Taken Thus the outward or carnal man is not an object of admiration but pitty He lies like Lazarus upon the dunghil of the earth his sins are his sores his righteousness his rags his friends that flatter him and his enemies that reproach him are all but dogs some bark some bite some fawn some lick his sores He came naked into the world and whatsoever he hath he beg'd it of Got and borrowed it of his fellow creatures His Pilgrimage is from Jerusalem to Jericho from the womb to the tomb his constant companions are vanity and vexation the one attends him in health and Wealth the other in sickness and poverty the one would draw him to
fatuus or false light which leads poore wandering men astray but like that Star which appeared in the East brings you to the knowledg of God for in her looks you may read lectures of modesty which invite not but check lascivious attempts and as the beams of the Sun put out lesser fires extinguishes the flames of lust in the hearts of incontinent persons As for her cheeks they are the history of nature wherein she hath elegantly recorded the wars of York and Lancaster in a faire discription of the combate between the white rose and the red Her body is like a goodly Cedar of Lebanon tall and strait or rather like the Royall Oake of England the happy mansion of a most princely Tenant She is like Apelles his picture Venus to the Waste but as for her other parts they are Terra incognita for in her chamber is the shrine of chastity and her bed is like the Sepulcher of our Saviour a place where never man lay I brief she is the most admired and the most desired thing here below as great and strange a wonder upon earth as she that was cloathed with the sun was in heaven and next to Abrahams Bosome you would chuse to lye in hers To conclude he that would have such a wife must resolve to live alwayes unmarried for she is an imaginarie and not a real being rare as a Phenix or a Philosophers stone and he that would woe her must travel to Vtopia A Rigid Presbyterian TO describe him right is a task like that of the Tailor who took measure of the Devil for there is nothing more like him upon earth then he He is lined with Covetousness and covered with Hypocrisie the root and the cloak of all evil Although at this time he carries a Bible at Worcester fight he wore a sword so that it is hard to say whether he be of the Tribe of Simeon or Levi. He swallows contrarie Oaths faster then the Eagles in the Tower do gobbets of flesh For The way to Hell and then Consciene of a Presbyterian are two broad things He condemns the lawfull Rites and Ceremonies of the Church and is more ravished with the squeaking of a Tythe Pig then with the Musick of Organs He appears in the Pulpit like Aesops Crow in a dress of borrowed Feathers for he preaches the workes of other men which are so much the worse for coming out of his mouth as wares for being of the second hand But it would grieve your heart to see how he racks the Ancient Fathers when he makes his own Confession and mangles the Modern Divines more barbarously then the Hang-man did the body of Hugh Peters I am sure poore Priscian gets many a broken head His Eloquence consists altogether in railing as though he had got his Education at Billinsgate In his Discourse he runs on like a mad Dog foaming and open-mouthed yelping at the Reverend Bishops and biting his brethren the Sectaries whom he makes as mad as himself Yet sometimes he perceives that his stuff is too short for the hower-Glass and then the wheeles of his Rhetorick move very heavily he then spends much time in humming and spetting and with the wiping of his nose makes many a filthy Parenthesis As for his Text he handles that as Moses did his rod when it was turned into a Serpent he layes it down and runs away from it Yet his Sermon lies all written before him for the poore Coppy holder in divinity can doe nothing without his notes This his weakness he would have you thinke is his worth for he charges men of able parts with presumtion Yet when he prayes he shuts his eyes preferring nonsense and Tautologies before the divine Liturgie Vain Wretch that dares not speak to men without papers and yet presumes to talke to God extempore As for his parishioners he saints or reprobates them according as they pay their Tithes and like a Gypsie tells good Fortune to none but those that Cross his hand with a piece of Silver and by him as well as by the Pope you may be Canoniz'd for Money Thus he is a meer Balaam that blesses and curses for reward He that opposes him acts the part of an Angel but he that submits to him is worse then an Ass If you consider his Constancie he is a kind of religious Proteus that is now ready to fawn upon that power against which he hath so long bark'd If therefore there be a Church in England which consists of men Surely The Orthodox Faithful Constant Ministers are the Doors Windowes Pillars Bells and Candlesticks and Sir John serves onely for a Weather-Cock It is confessed that at the begining of this Happy Reformation he was a little stubborn perhaps expecting a second war but now poor Heart He hath learned to pray for his Majesty but if you could hear the Language of his soul it is so as impatient Heirs pray for their rich Fathers There are two sorts of men who having escaped a deserved pair of Gallowes pray for the King very strangely that is a Felon whilest the Executioner burns his hand and a Traytor whilest the Devil sears his Conscience If you would know his name you way find it subscribed to an ugly Petition for where Bradshaw was the Pilate that condemned he was one of those Jews that cried Crucifie He professes sorrow for the Martyrdom of our late Soveraign Lord But believe him not for his hand helpt to hale him to the block In a word he is at best but a State-Crocodile and one that is Maudlin drunk with the Kings blood No more but if you chance to meet with Cleveland's Hue and Crie you may tell them he was lately in a sequestred Parsonage A debaucht Courtier IS an unworthy fellow that obtained his office not for formal Loyalty but present money He paid dear for his place and he that preferred him is like to pay dearer for his corruption He is a Traitor to God and therefore can be no good Subject to the King He acts a double part upon the Theater of the world Peter and Judas Peter to his Maker and Judas to his Master for by his drunkenness swearing and debauchery he both denies his Redeemer and betrayes his Soveraign Nor is it strange for oftentimes the transgressions of servants bring Judgements upon their Lords A holy Prince confesses and complains of the sins of his heels that is of his wicked followers King Charles the First who was as little subject to vice as Achilles to wounds suffered through the iniquity of his people Thus it pleased God to smite the Head for the sinnes of the Heels If you cast your eies upon his outside he seems a kinsman to the man in the Moon for every month he is in a new fashion and instead of true gallantry which once dwelt in the breasts of Englishmen he is made up of complements Cringes and French Apish trickes Perfumes Perriwig Fancies Knots Muffe and Feather which make
Church that it will hardly be cured without some such Brimstone as fell upon Sodom and Gomarrah Thus the childeren if this Generation are like presumptuous servants that seek rather to know their Masters secret Counsels then to obey their known Wills studying strange Arguments to defend their Heterodox tenents as though the spring of Living Water were Ezek a Fountain of Contention or Sitnah a Well of Hatred Neither do they onely inveigh against the Orthodox Clergie but as though the kingdom of Beelzebub were divided against it self fall out one with another when instead of the still voice of the Spirit and the Language of Canaan you may hear Deceiver Antichrist Lier Dog Devil and such like Rhetorical expressions fall from their mouths filling the place of their Conventicle with such a noise as was in the Streets of Sodom when the rude Infidels beset Lots house Surely the Sabboth of the Lord hath been much prophaned both by us and our Fathers for they maintained the baitings of Bears and Bulls and we the fighting of these beasts of Ephesus It is reported of Gregory the great Bishop of Rome that seeing some English Children in the Market to be sold he said they might well be called Angli for they seemed unto him Angels but had hee seen the Men of this Age he would rather have named them Diaboli Devils He did not then see so much of the beauty of England in Rome as he might now see of the abominations of Rome in England For there is a great mystery of Iniquity the grief of Wise men and the wonder of ignorant that some rebellious Zelots under a pretence of keeping out Popery should indeavour to bring it in for to rise up in armes against our lawful King is a thing which Jesus never taught and none but the Pope ever tolerated It is not the harmless and decent ceremony of Organs that can be lookt upon as a sign of Popery but those seditious Priests that cry against them are themselves the Popes organs and the Devils instruments the one blows the bellows of their discontented spirits and the other playes upon the keys of their railing tongues and thus they make an unpleasant musick which consists altogether of discords But as when God first brought man into the world he was naked to signifie that his Creator was not ashamed of his worke so when the Devil first brought sin into the world it was cloathed with an excuse least its odious nature should too soon be seen and amongst the rest these of theft murder treason and sacriledge have been covered with a mantle of tenderness of conscience but beleive it Reader if the skins of these men were as tough as their consciences and their flesh as hard as their hearts they would be both ax and Halter proofe they might laugh at the block and defie the gallows Thus hath England for some years been Tomos an Island of Sects Religion like Josephs coat a thing of many colours dyed in difference and dipt in bloud Truth like Sybils leaves by strange Windes of doctrine blown into confusion and Bold Phanaticks running from the shop-board to the pulpit and from the pulpit to the gibbet where we leave them to take their swing for he that will not have Charles to be his King must accept of Dun to be his Priest A VVhore THe young Persian who for his wisedom was called Darius his Cozen treated of 2 things the prevalency of Truths and the strength of women Indeed the strength of women hath been sufficiently manifested in the fall of the first man the ruine of the strongest man and the backsliding of the wisest man yet Iob through patience was able to stand maugre the Devil and his wife so that it is neither age strength nor wisedome but patience that can overcome a Woman Patience must be a shield for him that is married and continence for him that is not for lust is the Devils bonefire wherein poore man is burned with his owne rib The royal preacher speaking concerning a Harlot calls her a strange Woman but we usually term her a common-woman and no wonder for those sins which were strange in Solomons dayes are common in ours Now this strange common-woman is a kind of Land Syren far more dangerous then they in the Sea for he that falls into her hands runs a threefold hazzard of destroying soul body and estate In her face there hangs some rags of ore-worn beauty like old cloaths in a Broakers window to make you believe that there are better wares within and the Language of her eyes is What do you lack Sir Yet he that trades with her is like to have a sad purchase for she can sell him nothing but repentance and a foul disease If she be a great person she hath two necessary implements to help and to hide her infirmities a Black-a-moore and a little Dog for without these she would be neither fair nor sweet For her cheeks she hath an artificial dye and contrary to the rules of Heraldry she layes mettle upon mettle and colour upon colour Argent upon Or and Gules upon Sables It is reported of an ingenious Limner that he pictured a Boy carrying Grapes The Grapes were so lively painted that the Birds of the Aire catched at them thinking they had been really what they seemed whereupon the Painter did as much dislike one part of his work as he had reason to commend the other saying That had he painted the Boy as lively as the Grapes the Birds would have been afraid to come so near Even so a Female Paintresse excells in one part of her work and fails in the other Beauty which is half the outside of a compleat Lady she can so handsomly pourtray that wanton Youngsters like silly Birds are ready to catch at the Grapes of her Lips but could she paint Modesty as well as Beauty Lascivious men would keep further off But she that prostitutes her own flesh and le ts out her Hackney body for hire will make use of all advantages to draw in Custome and to advance Trading as rude behaviour unclean talk and if she have a skin clearer then her Conscience bare brest and shoulders like the nakedness of Bathsheba who did at the same instant pollute Davids soul whilest she washt her own body Thus she makes sinfull Merchandize of her selfe and converts that which should be a Temple of the Holy Ghost into a stall of beastly lusts much like the zeal of our late times who made a stable of Pauls Church As for her upper parts they are the shop of Cupid and her lower parts are his Ware-house at length old age makes her turn Bankrupt spoils her game and in graves wrinckles where she once painted Roses and then with all her black spots and patches she looks but like an old resty Gammon of Bacon stuck with Cloves scarce so beautiful but I am sure not half so savoury and then she is like a rotten stick