see that the manner of the Lords dealing with thee is tender and compassionate Psal 25.10 All the ways of the Lord are Mercy and Truth to them that fear him and keep his Testimonies When thou deservest to be cut down root and branch and cast into unquenchable fire he doth only lop and prune thee to make thee more fruitful Therefore if the matter be well weighted thou hast more cause to be thankful than to be offended Consider with thy self when any word is spoken or any act done by thy Husband or by thy Wife that hath a tendency to discompose thee and say It is the will of God to afflict me in my Wife or in my Husband O but this is not the full desert of my sin this is not Hell I deserve severer dealings from God than these and this will suppress thine anger that it break not out 3. Consider when thou dost meet with any matter of provocation from thy Husband or thy Wife that God in his infinite Wisdom will dispose of every thing for thy good if thou dost love God Rom. 8.28 Why then should'st thou vex thy self with anger seeing God will turn the injuries wrongs crossings and slightings of thy Husband or thy Wife into blessings Therefore when any wrong is offered thee which thou canst not by any just and lawful means avoid Do thou say with our Saviour Christ John 18.11 Should I not drink of the Cup that my Father hath provided for me should I be angry with the Cup because the Physick is bitter or with the hand whereby it is conveyed to me My Heavenly Father correcteth me for my good and amendment I will not therefore be angry with whom I am beaten but rather look to the principal hand that layeth the chastisement upon me and the happy fruit that brings with it and thus thâ—u may'st keep down the risings of thine anger when thy Husband or thy Wife doth distast thee 1. If thou dist observe the hand of God in any contradiction that thou hast from thy Husband or Wife which might make thee angry thou would'st acknowledge that the present course that God takes with thee to be best for that is always best which is ordered by God who is infinitely good and in all his dispensations is communicating of some good one way or other to his Creatures As God is most wise so his prescriptions are most safe and healthful Now 2. there is good cause why thou should'st cease to be angry for crosses wrongs and injuries for otherwise thou wilt be angry with Gods disposing of his Providences resist thine own profit and chuse rather to please thy pallat though to thy greater torment aftewards than to preserve thy health and peace O then say to thy self Hath God an hand in permitting my Wife to shew me such disrespect or in permitting my Husband to be unkind to me Is it then my fretting or raging against my Husband or my Wife an evidence that I am displeased with God for permitting such an act When thou art vexed that thou art related to such an one as an Husband thou art offended with Gods appointment And when thou dost wish that thou hadst never been related to him as thy Husband thou dost in truth desire God to break thy Relation to him by his death but know that God seldom gratifies the desires of such humoursom persons and commonly those that long for the death of another do die first themselves Such considerations as these well settled on thy heart cannot but quiet and pacifie thy Soul in the midst of manifold provocations 6. I thou would'st keep peace and amity between thy self and Husband or between thy self and Wife turn thine anger upon thy self not to tear thy self but to consider and reprove thy self for thine own miscarriages a just indignation against the sin of thine own Soul restraineth carnal anger from breaking forth against another For whosoever is zealous against the errors and disorders of his or her own life shall not find time to jar and contend with others for petty injuries and wrongs Experience sheweth that the greatest heat abroad is accompanied with the least at home A true sight of thine own faults will shew thee so much cause to be displeased with thy self that thou wilt have little leisure and less cause to be displeased with thy Husband or with thy Wife Thou think'st thy self ill dealt with by thy Husband but if thou considerest thine own sins thou wilt find that thou hast dealt worse with God than thy Husband hath dealt with thee and this is an excellent means to prevent thy being angry with thy Husband and make thee angry with thy self My Husband hath offended me and I have offended God God forbears manifesting anger against me and why should not I forbear mine anger against my Husband O then when thou hast received any seeming injuries from thy Husband before thou dost let forth thine anger against him ask thine own conscience Am I clear from offering the like injuries or greater to my Husband and how many times have I offended God much more If thou would'st thus speak to thine own conscience in the presence of God thou would'st not be so easily incited to anger seeing thou thy self dost many things that need pardon And thy greater faults might serve to excuse those that are less in thy Husband if thou would'st but look upon them for thou could'st not without blushing be angry with those faults in thy Husband for which thou shalt need to crave pardon thy self If thou didst truly judge that by thy sins committed against God thou hast deserved not only contumelies wrongs but also the eternal death of thy Body and Soul thou could'st not be easily provok'd to anger upon every trifling occasion nor think it any great disparagement to endure lesser injuries seeing thou hast deserved greater 7. If thou would'st suppress thine anger and live in a sweet harmony and peace with thy Husband or with thy Wife endeavour to get thy heart more desirous of and affected with spiritual and heavenly things that thou may'st have thy conversation in Heaven and have thy heart always in a spiritual frame Such a conversation and such a frame of spirit will make thee tread under-feet all vain and transitory things which concern this life because the Treasures that the Faith of an heavenly Christian discovers are more excellent and durable than any thing this world affordeth the preferment it longeth after is not of an earthly nature the riches it coveteth are above as for the things of this life an heavenly Christian doth not desire much delighteth not in much and consequently is not much disturbed with unquietness nor incensed with anger when crossed in them for by living in Heaven by Faith a persons spirit is well ballasted and made steady and Heaven is above all storms and tempests and the more thou dost converse there the less stormy is thy heart thou would'st not then trouble thy self
might'st have been amongst the damn'd Reprobates thou might'st have been roaring in Hell and sweltring under the wrath of the infinite God and if God hath made any change in thy state consider what trouble it put Heaven and Earth unto that the Son of God must take thy nature upon him and die and be made a Curse to deliver thee from that condition Now these things should be mighty humbling considerations Also consider what thou should'st be if God should leave thee tho' he hath done great things for thee shewed thee himself Christ the evil of sin and the excellency of eternal life yet for all this if God should but leave thee to thy self for one quarter of an hour Oh! if God should but withdraw his Spirit from thee one moment thou would'st depart from him and lose all that thou hast and be brought into as miserable a condition as ever thou wert thou would'st be plunged into the depth of all evil O certainly serious considerations of these things will very much subdue the pride of thy heart and keep down the risings of thy Spirit O then in the midst of thy fulness do thou think of thy emptiness in the midâ—â— of thy perfections think of thy deficiencies Think how much and in how many things thou art wanting when any thought of Pride ariseth concerning what thou dost enjoy and wherein thou dost abound Indeed thy wantings being a great deal more than thy aboundings and thy imperfections more than thy perfections should be to thee a greater matter of humbling than thy abounding or perfection can be an occasion of Pride Consider the deficiencies in thy self how low thou art in knowledg how low in grace how much thou art behind others how much thou art below what thou might'st be and have attained to both in the light of Knowledge and in the strength of Grace and this will mightily humble thee then consider how much thou comest short of what others have attained as it is an excellent means to keep thy Soul from murmuring and discontent to consider how many are below thee in the enjoyments of the comforts of this life so it is an excellent means to keep thee from pride to consider how many others are above thee in spiritual endowments so far above thee as thy knowledge is but ignorance compared with their knowledge thy strength weakness thy faith unbelief thy patience unquietness of spirit thy very fruitfulness barrenness compared with theirs Such considerations are mighty humbling considerations Again consider and reflect upon thine own sinfulness Thy defects in good may keep thy heart low but thy abundance of sinful evils may keep it much lower Thou hast yet a body of sin and death that thou carriest about with thee O abundance of sin and corruption remains in thy Soul Then consider thy sin as acted and brought forth by thee consider thy unthankfulness to God and all thy unworthy walkings before God notwithstanding what he hath done for thee Look on sin and thy heart must needs come down The remembrance of sin abiding in thee and acted by thee is an excellent means to put a stop to the further a â—tings as of all other sins so of this sin of Pride also The reason why thou art so proud of thy self is because thou art so art so ignorant of thy self Didst thou know thine own ignorance and misunderstandings didst thou know all those abominations that are in thy heart what earthly-mindedness what inordinate Creature-love what passions what envy lie there didst thou know how deceitful and false thy heart is towards God thy self and others such knowledge would make thee strike sail and come lower and make thee abhor thy self exceedingly Dist thou once know thy self aright what a frail blind and sinful Creature thou art how humble and heavenly would'st thou be Didst thou rightly know that thou art a Creature it would cause thee to live more like a new Creature Didst thou remember that thou art but a Creature the work of Gods hand this would keep thee low and humble but didst thou know what a sinful polluted Creature thou art thou would'st soon come not only to a lower estimate but an utter abhorrency of thy self Thou dost over-think thy self because thou dost not know thy self Thou dost over-rate thy self because thou dost not rightly understand thy self O then endeavour to understand thy self better and endeavour to make use of those considerations that I have here hinted This is the way to make thee sensible of thine own nothingness This is the way to mortifie thy pride and keep thee humble and if thou wert more humble thou would'st be more peaceable with thy Wife or Husband 4. Be much in the meditation of Christs humbling and abasing himself for thee What can kill pride if the humblings of Christ do not How may'st thou school and chastise thy proud Soul with the remembrance of Christ in his abasements What! was Christ an humble Christ and shall I be a proud Christian was he an humble Master and shall I be a proud Disciple Did Christ empty himself and make himself of no Reputation and shall I that am but emptiness be lifted up with a Reputation of my self or with a Reputation that others have of me Did Christ abuse himself to the form of a Servant and shall I lift up my self as if I did reign as a King Christ humbled himself and became obedient to death even the death of the Cross and what have I to glory in but the Cross of Christ Gal. 6.14 O then if thou hast any thing to be proud of 't is the Cross of Christ Think then often and much of the humblings of Christ and then thou wilt think of thy self as a meer nothing This is the most effectual means through the Spirit to bring down the swellings of thy heart and to make thee truly humble And thus I have ended what I have to say in directing thee how to get thy pride mortified and thy spirit humbled O then if thou would'st be restrained from sinful anger and if ever thou would'st have any quiet in thine own spirit and carry it peaceably and quietly to thy Husband or to thy Wife endeavour to be of a more lowly spirit and to be cloathed with humility As long as thou dost nourish thy proud humour thou wilt fall out with thy nearest Relation for every trifle but a lowly spirit doth its utmost to preserve peace and unity Such a one is so tender of others as that he or she is not willing to grieve any one in the world much less an Husband or a Wife Therefore the Apostle saith Philip. 2.3 Let nothing be done through strife and vain-glory but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than themselves The lust of vain-glory whereby a person endeavours more to gain esteem from men than to honour God is the mother of contention and strife and a great enemy to union and peace and here the
implietâ— the greatest sense of his own vileness nothingness and wretchedness The true reason why people at any time carry it so high with God that they have a good opinion of themselves is because their notions and apprehensions of God are so infinitely below him Did they know God more how would they fear before him and stand as persons astonished at the presence of his Majesty It is peoples darkness about God which emboldens them beyond their bounds or the line of Creatures and the reason why carnal persons and hypocrites carry it so stoutly before God is because they know not God aright They may bâ—ast of their knowledge when they know nothing as they ought 1 Cor. 8.2 Persons never see how imperfect they are till they see themselves in the light of Gods Perfection when they duly see themselves in that Glass they greatly abhor themselves because they see no beauty nor comliness in themselves for they cannot but see much deformity in themselves when they behold the Beauty and Glory of God As when we behold that Beauty we shall abhor our selves for our deformities and defilements so we shall be daily mending and cleansing our selves from them That sight of God Job had cap. 42.5 6. humbled him so deeply as to work in himself abhorrency But now mine eye seeth thee wherefore I abhor my self 1. An abhorrency of a sinful self or loathing of self for sin and evil done Ezek 36.31 2. It signifies an abhorrency of righteous self or a loathing our selves in the good yea even in the best that we have done Isa 64.6 So that a truly humble Soul abhorreth his righteousness as never to trust in it at all This the Apostle saith Philip. 3 7 8 Self righteousness is Gold and to be embraced in conversation but it is Dung and to be abhorred in justification An humble Soul doth abhor self-righteousness because he is convinced that self-righteousness is a weak and imperfect thing even in sanctification therefore he is so far from boasting of it or trusting to it that he hath a kind of abhorrency of it that as to justification he looks on it as abominable And as he abhors it because 't is unfit and incompetent in it self for justification so also because it is utterly inconsistent with the tenor of the Gospel wherein God hath removed all mans Righteousness how pure soever it may be from that use and directed us to look only to the Righteousness of Christ for that use which the Apostle calls the Righteousness of God Rom. 10.3 because 't is that which the Wisdom of God the Father hath provided for us and which the Worthiness of God the Son hath wrought and procured for us Pardon this digression I have reason for what I do O then would you get your pride mortified that begets and feeds your angry passions endeavour after fuller manifestations of God seriously consider God as revealed in his Word converse more with God get more acquaintance with God know and consider how much God is above and the meaner you will be in your own eyes the fuller discoveries you have of God the more sensible you will be of your own unworthiness and the more calmness will you have in your own spirits and the more able you will be to resist provocations unto anger We have no cause to wonder to see persons in the world that do not know God to have bold and presumptious spirits and have their spirits lifted up in vanity But it is a wonder that a Soul that ever had any sight of God should have any rising of spirit that any sinful heights of spirit should be in that Soul that knows what an infinite God he is to deal with O converse much with God and then you will be humble Souls That Soul that never goes from duty without experiencing communion with God is very humble and nothing hath that excellency in it as that which comes from conversing with God and upon the sight of his excellency 3. Consider that the more you see and know your selves the more you shall be abased and lie low in your selves A right knowledge of your selves is that which should bring your hearts low Do but seriously consider what you are in your selves what abundance of filth and vileness there is in your selves and you will not have any high thoughts of your selves O then study your selves more converse with your selves and endeavour to know your selves more and that noxious wind of ostentation by which proud persons are vainly puâ—â—t up in their fleshly minds will be let out and avoided Let every proud person consider what he is let the question be put to his or her own Soul thus Who am I or what am I that I should have a proud thought shall dust and ashes shall one that is but a shadow a vapour but as grass a flower of the field and in his best estate altogether vanity be prâ—ud O consider whatever thou art as to this world thou canst not be long what thou art in thy highest perfections attainable in this world thou art very mutable and the higher thou art the more mutable thou art and what hast thou to be proud of Shall perishâ—ng things be proud things wilt thou be lifâ—ed â—pâ— with what thou hast which as 〈◊〉 the wâ—rld is of â—o little being as thou canst haâ—lly be said to be Consider all these things which are as fuel and occasions of thy priâ—e Thou must shortly give an account for them to God and the more thou haâ—â— received in any kind whatsoever the stricter will thy account be for thy Accâ—unt will be proportionable to what thy Râ—ceipt is Luke 12.48 To whomsoever much is given of him shall much be required Consider wâ—at thou art by Nature and whiles â—n thy unconverted state thou wert a Child of Wrath as bad as the basest and vilest wretch in the world thou wert full of sin the seeds of all kind of sin there is no sâ—n in Hell it self but the seeds of it were in thy heart thy heart and life was full of sin all the faculties of thy Soul were full of sin all the members of thy body were instruments of sin thy Soul and Body was polluted and loathsom and in that condition thou wert succourless and helpless thou could'st never deliver thy self thou wert wandring from God and would'st have wandred eterâ—aâ—ly if God had not looked upon thee in mercy There was such a breach made between God and thy Soul that had all the Angels n Heaven or Creatures in the world laid down their lives for thee thou could'st not by their deaths have helped to make up that breach Look back to this condition and thou wilt see cause enough to be low in thine own eyes Consider what thou might'st now have been if the Lord had takâ—n advantage against thee Thou art now in a comfortable condition thou now comest among the people of God into the assemblies of the Saints but thou