to have haunted Dancing Scools with more zeal then the old Women have that go to St. Aâ—â—liâ—s He ought diligently to have studied over Melchiâ— Swashbucklerus de holdendo haâ—â—um in hando and Cussius Candus of the Ornaments of Nations he ought to be a diligent Observer of Fashions and an espyer of faults in the garb and house keeping of other Ladies that he may be able to furnish his own Lady now and then with discourse Lastly he must have a good head of hair and handsom feet without corns How he must be fitted for Service Having been bespoken and received earnest he must desire a weeks time to fit himself for her Ladiships service The first two days he must walk in iron Boots and an iron Breast and Back-piece such as children wear that have the rickets to bring his body into an upright and perfect posture After that he must drink Scurvygrass-Ale to reform his complexion He must then furnish himself with all the Books of Complementing and be sure to get enough to enable him to shew his wit the first night before the Waiting Gentlewoman at the Stewards Table His motion must be with such a Clock-work formality as if he were only made to strike the Quarter-Bell upon Bow-Steeple This must be practised every morning in his Looking-glass and he must not suffer himself to eat until he find he hath profited something His Behaviour in the House He must be affable to his fellow-servants especially the Waiting-Gentlewoman and the Cook to the one for his breakfast to the other for a kiss or two now and then and that she may speak well of him to her Lady when he goes before his Lady he must walk as circumspectly as a Milk-maid with a pail upon her head crying ever and anon by your leave Gentlemen He ought in company to value himself according to the degree of his Lady wherein he must have a care not to lose the least atome of her dignity His pockets must not be greasie because he may have occasion to carry his Ladies Hoods and Scarfs in them He ought not to cast any affection upon his Masters daughter for the Butler having more wit then himself made sure of her before he could make his approaches His Dressings He must not be long in dressing himself because of walking the Rounds of his morning Visits The heels of his Shoes ought to be long and very slender that he may tread with the more grace and make the less noise His clothes ought to be put on with so much accurateness as if he were to dress himself every day for his life or if the world would perish were there a wrinkle in his Band white Gloves he must not want for they like white staves in other employments are the badges of his preferment In his Hair he must be as nice as the ancient Greeks and good reason that he should make much of it while he hath it it being uncertain how long a man in his place may keep it The Diseases incident to Gentlemen Ushers and their Cures The first is when his hair doth utterly abandon his head leaving his ears open to all reproaches finding the wages of their nourishment as small as the recompence of his service The Cure of this is by way of humble Petition to the Gentlewoman to afford him her Combings and some few spare Locks to hide the nakedness which she laid bare The other is the dwindling away of the calves of his legs This happens from his being overtoyl'd for being to divide himself between the Lady and her Woman they never leave sucking him till they have made him so transparent that you may see his very thoughts For the cure of this disease he must go to the Hosier instead of the Apothecary If the Gentlewoman will take the pains to nurse him his body may perhaps return again to his soul otherwise he dies like a Silk-worm having spun out himself to pleasure others To his Mistriss O Thou the dear inflamer of my eyes Life of my soul and hearts eternal prize How delectable is thy love how pure How apt to vanish able to allure A frozen soul and with thy sacred fires To affect dull spirits with extream desires How do thy joys though in their greatest dearth Transcend the proudest pleasures of the earth Thou art a perfect Symetry a rare Connexion Of many perfects to make one perfection Of Heavenly Musick where all parts do meet In one sweet strain to make one perfect sweet Glorious Extraction where each several feature Divine compriz'd to so Divine a Creature Give me thy heart and for that gift of thine Lest thou shouldst rent a heart I 'le give thee mine Song MIstake me not I am as cold as hot For though mine eyes betrays thy heart o're night Ere morn ere morn ere morning all is right Sometimes I burn And then do I return There 's nothing so unconstant as my mind I change I change I change even as the wind Perhaps in jest I said I lov'd thee best But 't was no more then what was long before I vow'd I vow'd I vow'd to twenty more Then prithee see I give no heart to thee For when I ne're could keep my own one day What hope what hope what hope hadst thou to stay Plurality in Love HE whose active thoughts disdain to be captive to one foe And would break his single chain or else more would undergo Let him learn the art of me By new bondage to be free What tyrannick Mistriss dare to one Beauty Love confine Who unbounded as the air all may court but none decline Why should we the Heart deny As many Objects as the Eye Wheresoe're I turn or move a new Passion doth detain me Those kind Beauties that do love or those proud ones that disdain me This frown melts and that frown burns me This to tears that to ashes turns me Soft fresh Virgins not full blown with their youthful sweetness take me Sober Matrons that have known long since what these prove awake me Here staid Coldness I admire There the lively active Fire She that doth by skill dispence every favour she bestows Or the harmless innocence which nor Court nor City knows Both alike my Soul enflame That wild Beauty and this tame She that wisely can adorn nature with the wealth of arts Or whose rural sweets do scorn borrow'd helps to take a heart The vain care of that 's my pleasure Poverty of this my treasure Both the Wanton and the Coy me with equal pleasures move She whom I by force enjoy Or who forceth me to love This because she 'l not confess That not hide her happiness She whose loosely flowing hair scatter'd like the beams o th' morn Playing with the sportive air hides the sweets it doth adorn Captive in that net restrains me In those golden-fetters chains me Nor doth she with powers less bright my divided heart invade Whose soft tresses spread like night
the Heav'nly Spheres In thy soul winning voice appears Happy were I had I like Atlas grace So fair a Heav'n with mine arms to embrace The Queen of Fairies COme follow follow me You Fairy Elves that be Which Circle on the Green Come follow me your Queen Hand in hand let 's dance a round For this place is Fairy ground When Mortals are at rest And snorting in their nest Unheard and unespy'd Through Key-holes we do glide Over Tables Stools and Shelves We trip it with our Fairy Elves And if the House be foul Or Platter Dish or Bowl Up stairs we nimbly creep And find the sluts asleep There we pinch their arms and thighs None escapes nor none espies But if the house be swept And from uncleanness kept We praise the Houshold-maid And surely she is paid For we do use before we go To drop a Tester in her Shoe Upon a Mushrom's head Our table we do spread A Corn of Rie or Wheat Is Manchet which we eat Pearly drops of dew we drink In Acorn Cups fill'd to the brink The brains of Nightingales The unctious dew of Snailes Between two Nut-shels stew'd Is meat that 's easily chew'd And the beards of little Mice Do make a feast of wondrous price On tops of dewie grass So nimbly do we pass The young and tender stalk Ne're bends when we do walk Yet in the morning may be seen Where we the night before have been The Grashopper and Flie Serve for our minstrelsie Grace said we dance a while And so the time beguile And when the Moon doth hide her head The Gloe-worm lights us home to bed Cupid Contemn'd CUpid thou art a sluggish Boy and dost neglect thy calling Thy Bow and Arrows are a toy thy monarchy is falling Unless thou dost recall thy self and take thy tools about thee Thou wilt be scorn'd by every Elf and all the world will flout thee Rouze up thy spirit like a God and play the Archer finely Let none escape thy Shaft or Rod 'gainst thee have spoke unkindly So may'st thou chance to plague that heart That cruelly hath made me smart Bootless Complaint THough bootless I must needs complain my faults are so extream I loved and was belov'd again yet all was but a dream For as that love was quickly got so was it quickly gone I 'le love no more a flame so hot I 'le rather let 't alone The Departure WE must not love as others do With sighs and tears as we were two Though with this outward form we part We find each other in our heart What search hath found a being where I am not if that thou be there True love hath wings and will assoon Survey the World as Sun or Moon And every where our triumph keep Our absence which makes others weep Shews it thereby a power is given To love on Earth as they in Heaven To a Lady in Prison LOok out bright eyes and clear the air even in shadows you are fair Caged beauty is like fire that breakes out clearer still and higher Though the body be confin'd and soft Love a prisoner bound Yet the beauty of your mind neither check nor chain hath found Look out nobly then and dare Even the fetters that you wear To Sorrow Sorrow why dost thou seek to tempt my quiet soul to misery and wo My constant thoughts from thine assaults exempt Inur'd to fortunes crosses long ago Go seek out some who doth affect thy pain If none thou find'st return to me again When elder years witness my race as run and hoary locks my hollow temples fill When I shall sit and say the world is done sorrow return and satisfie thy will Till then go seek out some who affects thy pain If none thou find'st return to me again Constancy resolved COme constant hearts that so prevail That every passion puts in bail My innocence shall dare as far To bid the Tyrant open war If warm'd with pride he kindle fires We 'l drown them in our chaste desires If he assail with Dart and Bow We 'l hide them in the hills of snow So shall his heart plagu'd mourn and die While we smile at his memory And keep our hearts our eyes and ears Free from vain sighs sad groans and tears Lose no time LOse no time nor youth but be Kind to men as they to thee The fair Lillies that now grow In thy cheeks and purely show The Cherry and the Rose that blow If too long they hand and waste Winter comes that all will blast Thou art ripe full ripe for Men In thy sweets be gather'd then Song NOt Roses couch'd within a lilly bed are those commixtures that depaint thy face Nor yet the white that silver Hyems head mix'd with the dewy mornings purple grace but thou whose face my senses captive led Whom I erst fondly deem'd of heavâ—nly race Hast from my guiltless blood which thou hast shed And envious paleness got thy white and red Song REad in the Roses the sad story Of my hard fate and your own glory In the white you may discover The paleness of a fainting Lover In the red the flames still feeding On my heart with fresh wounds bleeding The white will tell you how I languish And the red express my anguish The frown that on your brows recided Have the Roses thus divided O let your smiles but clear the weather And then they both shall grow together Dying to Live YOung Thirsis laid in Phillis lap and gazing on her eye Tyought life too mean for such good hap and fain the Lad would die When Phillis who the force did prove of Love as well as he Cry'd to him Stay a while my Love and I will die with thee So did these happy Lovers die but with so little pain That both to life immediately return'd to die again Who his Mistress is WIll you know my Mistress face 't is a Garden full of Roses When the Spring in every place white and blushing red discloses 'T is a Paradise where all That attempt the fruit must fall Will you know her forehead fair 't is heavenly living Sphere Under which the veins like air all Celestial blew appear But those burning Suns her Eyes He that dares live under dies Will you know her body now 't is a tall ship under sail From the rudder to the prow nothing but Imperial But that foolish man that stears Fills his Compass by his fears Shall I now her mind declare 't is a body arm'd for war Marching in proportion fair till the Lover hopes too far Then her eyes give fire and all Within level helpless fall In praise of Fools FOols they are the only nation Worth mens envy or admiration Free from love and sorrow taking Themselves and others merry making O who would not be He He He. All they speak or do is sterling your Fool he is your great mans darling And your Ladies sport and pleasure tongue and babble are his treasure Even his face begetth
Phil. Porter dye A. Because he could live no longer Q. How do the English love the Spaniards A. Not so well as they do their silver mines Q. When should the longest grace be said A. When their is cold meat on the table Q. When will Saint James's Fair up again A. When the Sutlers wives are not so subject to lie down Q. Why do ladies always eat the kernels but leave the stones A. Because to their best apprehensions they are to be kept for anothers use Q. Why is love compared to a maze A. Because when a man is once got in he can never get out Q. Why are women more silent in love then men A. Because they are ashamed to talk of an unhansom business that is already past Q. What is the benefit of sneezing A. To purge the expulsive power and vertue of the sight Q. Why are all the senses in the head A. Because the brain is there on which all the senses do depend Q. How should a man behave himself to a coy Lady A. As if he were in the field to charge her home Q. Why is wit compared to brush-wood and judgment to tinder A. Because one gives the greatest flame and the other yields the durablest heat but both meeting together make the best fire Q. Why is a soldier so good an antiquary A. Because he hath kept the old fashion when the first bed was the ground Q. Why may Aretin be accounted an expert artillery man A. Because he gave directions for the postures Q. When does the world end with an old man A. When he begins to dote on a young wench Q. what replied the fellow when one bid him hold his horse A. He said it was but one mans work he might do it himself Q. What is reported of the Executioner A. That if he do not mend his Manners he is likely to trust his life to the mercy of one of his own trade Q. What said one to a Lady that had so many patches on A. That she could not well laugh for fear of shewing of two faces Q. VVhat is a bawd A. She is a charcoal that hath been burnt her self and therefore is able to kindle a whole copper Q. How did Master Not of the Inns of Court love a citizens wife A. Like any thing Q. what is the most lascivious part of a woman A. Her rowling eye Q. what said the Vintner of Southwark when the Parson killed his wife in the Percullis A. By and by anan anan Sir I come I come Sir by and by Q. Why is love painted with flowers in one hand and a fish in another A. To show that without any contestation he governs both by sea and land Q. why is marriage compared to a sea voyage Qu. Because if people have not the greater and the better fortune They are very likely to be cast away Q. which is most jealous the man or the woman A. The woman though men have most cause you know why Q. Why are some left handed A. Because in some persons the heart sendeth not heat to that side Q. Why can women endure thin clothing in the winter better then men A. Because being naturally cold they feel cold the less Q. what creature is that which bringeth forth at once nourisheth her young and goes with young again Sol. A hare Q. what is that which being first water assumes the form of a stone and still retains it A. Crystal congealed by frost Q. which is the quickest of the sences A. The eye Q. why is it better to marry a widow then a maid A. Causa patet Q. What may be said of a covetous rich man A. That he freezes before the fire Q. What reply did one of the Tylers make to the other when he said You do your work too slightly A. Brother said he we must work at one time as we intend to have work at another Q. what was the reply to one that gave him this complement Sir I wish that every hair of my head were a groom to do you service A. He replied Sir I wish that every blast from my back side were a cannon bullet ready charged to batter down your enemies Q. A cowardly Captain askt a Soldier whether he knew him or no A. The Soldier replyed I should have known you if you had shown me your back for that I have seen often but I never saw your face before Q. When will the Vintner at Aldersgate pull off the Mourning from his sign A. When Wine is at the old price Q. A fearful bashful Countrey-fellow was askt whether he would go to bed to his bride A. No quoth he I 'le go to Bed to my mother that I will Q. Whence is it that those people that wash in the winter in warm water feel more cold then those that wash in cold water A. Because that the warm water opens the pores and gives an entrance to the cold whereas cold water on the contrary shuts the pores for cold is restringent Q. wherefore is it that the Hycup especially if it be not very violent ceaseth in holding the breath or else if we are suddenly frighted or afflicted with some opinionate unhappiness or else with the taking of vinegar A. Because the Hycup proceeds of a sudden difficulty in breathing and that in holding our breath it must be of necessity that we shall a little after respire by course also we being made attentive to that we are fearful of makes us hold our breath and sometimes with a profound sigh fetcht from the stomach it hinders the cause of the Hycup Q. Can you in few words give an illustration or description of the body A. Yes the body is the dwelling of the soul the eyes are the windows of the soul the brows the portals of the mind the ears the interpreters of sounds the lips the leaves of the mouth the hands the workmen of the body the heart thereceptacle of life the lungs the bellows of the air the stomac the orderer of meat the bones the strengthners and the legs the colums of the body Q. What seed is that which joyneth all the countries of the world together A. Hempsâ—ed of which is made sails for ships that transmit them far and near Q. What art is that which makes use of the wildest things in the world A. Physick Q. What was the Welsh-mans meaning when he said He had the law in huâ— own hand A. He was burnt in the hand Q. One said painters were cunning fellows the other askt why A. Because said he they are sure to find a colour for whatsoever they do Q. One said to a sturdy begger friend it is a custom amongst those of your trade if a man doth not give you to rail at him A. The begger answered thinking to get something of him Ah master I am none of those Say you so says the gentleman I will try you for once and so away he went but never unbuttoned his fob Q.
me many thanks for it Gn. Many Thr. sayest thou so is she glad Gn. Not so much for the gift it self as that it was given by thee for that she triumpheth in good earnest Q. Are not also greaters feigned A. Yes and of great force Q. Give example A. Ter. Hort. A Noble man if he be made a lover can never undergo the charges much less thou then Aeneid 5. O great Aeneas although Jove should not Promise to help or aid me now one jot I hope that Italy shall reach to heaven The winds once charged their forces cross have driven Arising from black night i' th city cast Our power is weak our greatest strength but waste CAP. 20. Lessers Q. What is Lesser A. Lesser is that whose quantity is exceeded Q. How is a Lesser judged A. Oftentimes by proper notes Q. What be these notes A. Not only but not at all rather this then that when as as also Q. How else A. By Grammatical comparison Q. How lastly A. By the denying of parts Q. Give example of the notes out of some Orator A. Cic. secund Cat. No man not only of Rome but in no corner of all Italy was ever oppressed with so great a tax as that he once knew of so incredible a Caesar. Cat. 1. Thou canst rather as an Exul tempt then as a Consul vex the Commonwealth Ag. 2. Which when to all it is very hard and an evil reason then truly to me above the rest Q. Give Poetical examples A. Ovid. Trist. 1. More fierce then Busiros more fierce then he Who in slow fire his Ox burnt furiously Ovid. pri de Rem Amor. Thy body to redeem bear sword and fire Ne drink to cool thy thirsty hot desire To save thy soul wilt thou not all forbear This part exceeds the other price by far Q. Give example of those which are done by denying of parts A. Phil. 9. All in all ages who have had the understanding of the Law in this City if they might be brought together into one place are not to be equalled with Servius Sulpitius Cat. 2. Although those which say that Catilina is gone to Messilia do not so much complain of it as fear it Q. Is it not sometimes without notes A. Yes Q. Give example A. Pro Mur. Thou art so much wanting from the perfection of great works as the foundation which thou thinkest thou hast not yet laid Pro Arch. The stones and deserts oftentimes answer to the voice wilde beasts are tamed and subdued by singing shall not then the instructions of the Poets in the best thing move us Q. Is there not also a gradation from lessers A. Yes Q. Give example A. Ver 7. Is it a great act to over throw the city Rome to beat a Knave to kill a Parricide what shall I say to hang him upon the gallows Q. Are not lessers also sometimes feigned A. Yes Q. Give example A. Virg. Aeglog 1. The light-heeld hyndes in th' air shall feed therefore And in the Ocean all the fishes die For want of water on the naked shore The wandring Parthyan first shall drinken dry Huge Araxis and gusling Germany Suck down their thirsty throats swift Tigris tide Ere his dear lovely face shall from my bosom slide Q. Give another exmple A. Phil. 2. O filthy thing not only in the sight but also to hear of if it had happened to thee amongst thine inhumane Pots who would not accounted it filthy But in the assembly of the Romans about publique affairs the master of the horse to whom it is not comely to belch he vomiting a crust of bread and wine filled his lap and all the Tribunal with stink CAP. 21. Likes Q. You have expounded Comparison in Quantity Comparison in Quality followeth what therefore is Quality A. Quality is that whereby the things compared are said to be such Q. What are the kindes of quality A. Like or Dislike Q. What are Likes A. Likes are those of which there is the same quality Q. What are likes called A. Likes is called proportion as the likes are proportionable Q. What are the notes of likeness whereby it is concluded in one word A. Likes Effigies in that manner as also denials of dislikeness Q. What be they A. Such as this not otherwise Q. Give example of the first sort A. Aeneid 1. His mouth and shoulders being like to God Phil. 9. Although Servius Suspicius could leave no clearer monument then his son the e 〈…〉 gies of his manners vertues constancy piety wit Q. Give example out of some Poet A. Ovid Trist. 1. For he or none even he that made the wound Only Achilles 't is can make me sound Q. Proceed to farther examples A. In Phis. There was one day which was to me the likeness of immortality wherein I returned to my countrey Ver 1. But presently from the same likeness of a man as it were by some Circean pot he is made a Bear Pro Pomp. Therefore all in this place do behold Cons. Pompeius not as one sent from the city but fallen from heaven Aeneid 3. They do not that which I have commanded Ter. I am not neither have been otherwise then he Q. What is the partition of likeness A. Disjoyned or continued Q. What is a disjoyned similitude A. A disjoyned similitude is when as four terms are distinguished to the thing Q. Give example A. Aeglog 5. So me thy song as sleep on grass doth quench The traveller his weary limbs to drench Q. What is the force of this example A. The songs to the hearers as sleep to the weary are four distinct terms Q. Give another example A. Ad fratrem As the best Governous cannot overcome the force of the tempest so the wisest men oftentimes cannot overcome the violence of fortune Q. Shew the force of this example A. Here are four terms as the governor to the ship so wise men to fortune Q. Proceed to farther example A. Trist. 1. Even as the yellow gold in flaming fire is seen So men may trust behold in time that 's sharp and keen Cic. Phil. 2. But even as those who in a great sickness do not taste the sweetness of meat so the lustful covetous wicked have not the taste of true praise Virg. made these verses All 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 next day the signs are seen â—E 〈◊〉 parted Caesar and Jove between 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 arrogated them to himself and obtained a great 〈◊〉 therefore Virgil in these Verses mocketh Ba 〈…〉 I made these Rimes another had the Land So Birds 〈◊〉 nests not for your selves have made So you O Bees make honey not for you So you O Sheep bear wool but not for you So you O O 〈…〉 n plow but not for you Q. Are not the notes sometimes omitted A. Yes sometimes there is no note at all Q. Give an example A. Virg. Aeglog 2. Ah my fair Boy trust not thy hew too much Hurtles though black by every handsom hand Are pluck'd while Dazies none
cloy Hope long desired doth bring the greatest Joy Without Injuries the world would languish and have enough to do discord in part makes harmony in the whole and some must laugh whilst others do condole Wrongs like great whirlewinds shake the highest battlements few for Heaven would care should they be ever happy they are half Gods who both in good dayes and good fortunes share Ingratitude is like a dog that flies at his master which it is just with us to strangle neither his kind nor use considered Shame of Infamy doth extinguish lust as oyl doth fire Where shame and Infamy are too much inforced on a delinquent they breed too often an audacious defence of sin but no sincere repentance so the rain slides to the root and nourishes where great storms make a noise wet but the skin of the earth and run away in a swift channel Our Industry is as our soul which is not put into the body to be idle it hath too many rare and curious pieces of Mathematical motions to stand still Incontinency is a vice sooner condemn'd then banisht easily spoke against but yet will fawn as smoothly on our flesh as Circe on the Grecian travellers when she detained them in the shapes of beasts Lust and Incontinency like the plummets hanging on clock lines will never have done till all our faculties are undone and ruined Oh with what vertue should lust be withstood Since 't is fire seldom quencht without blood Lustful Incontinency is like an overswoln river that breaks all bounds it is a devil bred in blood nurst in desire that like the Salamander lives in fire Lust is a gilded pill which sinful nature doth prescribe desire strokes the sense with pleasure but at last the shining out-side leaves a bitter taste Of such an Inconstancy as boyes gay bubbles blown in the air and broken The winde is more sixt then her Inconstancy the beaten Marriner with his shrill whistle calms the loud murmurs of the troubled main and sooner strikes it smooth again then her soul to have peace in love with any Our constitutions vary herbs and trees admit their frosts and summer and why then should our desires that are so nimble and more subtil then the spirits of our blood be such staid things within us and not share their mutual Inconstancy He wears his Faith like the fashion of his hat it changes with the next block Jealousie 's fits present a man like so many bubbles in a bason of water twenty several crabbed faces many times makes his own shadow his cuckold maker The Devil gives this Jealousie to man as nature doth a tail unto a lion which thinks in heat to beat away the flies when he doth only more inrage himself A Jealous fellow is like a cowardly Captain in a Garison Town fears every assault trembles at every battery and doubts most lest the gates should be opened and his enemy let him in at midnight Those wounds heal ill that men do give themselves omision to do that is necessary seals a commission to a blank of dangers and danger like an Ague subtily taints even then when we sit idly in the sun Kings lives are fortunes misery like dainty sparks which when men dead do know to kindle for himself each man doth blow The lives of Kings should like to Dials move whose regular example is so strong they make the times by them go right or wrong Princes like lions never will be tamed a private man may yield and not care how but greater hearts will break before they 'l bow If a Kings Government be easie the many headed monster Multitudes like Aesops foolish Frogs they trample on him as a sensless block and if he prove a Stork they croak and rail against him as a Tyrant Knighthood is like Marriage now-adayes which though it honourable be with all men yet it is beggarly with a great many Law is as the worlds great Light a second Sun to this terrestrial Globe by which all things have life and being and without the which destruction and disorder soon would seize the general state of men Learning and Languages cannot set a nap upon a thred-bare gown Art is like common Fidlers draws down others meat with liquorish Tunes whilst they the scraps do eat Liberty and Publique good are like great Ollio's must have the upper end still of our Tables though they are but for show Life is the frost of cold Felicity and Death the thaw of all our vanity Life is but a walking shadow a poor Player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more Life is a tale told by an Ideot full of sound and fury signifying nothing Like to an Ass whose b ack with ingots bows we bear our heavy riches but journey and death unloads us Life is but a dark and stormy night of sensless dreams terrors and broken sleep a tyranny devising pains to plague and make men long in dying Love is a rasor cleansing if well used But fetcheth blood if that it be abused Love like to sin inveterate is and strong He prevents danger that destroys it yong Love can no more be dissembled then to bear hot burning coals in our bare palms or bosoms and less concealed and hidden then a flash of inflamed powder whose whole light doth lay it open to all discovery even of those who have but half an eye and less of nose Loves service is much like our honored Lord where Mignions carry more then servitors the bold and careless servants still obtains the modest and respective nothing gains Lovers are like Astronomers that when the vulgar eye discovers but a skie above studied with some few stars finde out besides strange fishes birds and beasts Lovers in favour are like Gamesters in good fortune the more you set them still the more they win Love is but a card play all is lost Unless you cog he that pricks best wins most At the games of Love we set all but the best is we cannot stake and there is no loss of credit in the breaking Love is like to wax the more it is rubbed it sticks the faster to or like a bird in bird-lime or a pit-fall the more one labors still he is the deeper in Love is an idle fantasie bred by desire nursed by delight an humor that begins his dominion in Leo the Lion the sign of the Heart and ends in Aries the â—am the sign of the Head his power is to stir the blood prick up the flesh and fill the body with libidinous heat A yong mans Love it is like Ivy it must have something to cleave to or it prospers not Love is like fasting dayes but the body is like flesh dayes and it is our English Gallants fashion to prefer a morsel of flesh before all the fasting days in the year This Love is a troublesome thing Jupiter bless us out of his fingers there is no estate can rest for him he runs
root Gentlemen as soon as they come to their lands get up to London and like squibs that run upon lines they keep a spitting of fire and crackling till they have spent all and when the fire is out what sayes the Punk Foh how the Prodigal stinks How blinde is Pride what eagles are we still in matters that belong to other men what beetles in our own Swelling spirits hid with humble looks Are Kingdoms poisons hung on golden hooks Vallies that let in rivers to confound The hills above them though themselves do drown'd Of an excessive Pride his marble Portals richly gilded ore his Assyrian Carpets Chairs of Ivory his Garments perfumed his Jewels valued not for use but needless Ornaments a sumptuous Stable a stupendious House with all the baits of sense that catch a vulgar eye Poverty is like the rack it draws a man to danger to the Gallows rather then endure it Oh happiness of Poverty that rest securely on a bed of living turf while we with making cares and restless thoughts lie tumbling on our doâ—n courting the blessing of a short minutes slumber which the Plough-man shakes from him as a ransomed slave his fetters Poverty puts a multiplying glass upon our faults and makes them swell and fill the eye our crimes shows highest then when we our selves are lowest Pleasure farewell to thy inticing vanity thou round gilt box that dost deceive mans eye wise men knows when thou art broken open the treasure thou includest is dust and smoak even so I do esteem thee Books musick wine brave company good chear Make Poets to soar high and sing most clear Poetry though it be of a quite contrary nature is as pretty a jewel as plain dealing but they that use it forget the Proverb Verses though freely born like slaves are sold I crown thy Lines with bayes thy Love with gold Players were never more uncertain in their lives they know not how to play for fearful fools where to play for puritan fools nor what to play for critical fools When I Achilles hear upon the stage speak honor and the greatness of his soul methinks I too could on a Phrygian spear run boldly and make tales for after times but when I come to act it in the deed death mars my bravery and the ugly fears of the other world sits on my frighted brow Phisiognomy do you call it there is no more credit to be given to it then to a sick mans urine which some call the Physitians Whore because she couzens him A witty person may with ease distinguish all men by their Noses as thus your nose Tuscan is lovely large and broad much like to a goose's beak your valiant generous nose crooked smooth and puffing your Scollars nose is very fresh and raw for want of fire in winter that quickly smels his chop of mutton in his dish of pottage your Puritan nose is very sharp and long much like your widows and with ease can find an edifying Capon five streets off I have skill in Faces yet the world is so deceitful that I can hardly distinguish a Baud from a Midwife or an hypocritical Puritan from a devout Christian. Physitians are for the most part like beasts for sacrifice there is nothing left in them but tongue and belly A Physitian is too often a lingring executioner to death the greatest disease to nature one that strives by art to make us long a dying he practises on our bodies as men pull roses not for their own relish but to kill the flower so they maintain their lives by others deaths Your Physitian is like your hawk the greater the fowl is that he kills the greater is his reward He that takes Phisick trusts to one that hath art and leave to kill Your Physitians are as good as false doors behind hangings to Ladies necessary uses Since the great master of Philosophy Aristotle died that fool'd the drunken Macedon out of a thousand Talents to buy books what have the multitude of his learned successors done only write comments on his Works scribling to no but to make paper dear Oh brave Phylosophers I will name you three of them First the merry fop of Thrace Democritus that always laughed pretending it was at Vanity alas it was his disease going to steal Mushrooms for his supper the blew mouth'd serpent skulked under a dock leaf and bit him by the thumb from whence he took that lauguishing malady And his Antagonist Heraclitus that would ever seem to weep out of a pious cause he was a fine dissembling fellow no sorrow made him weep there is a Manuscript now kept in the Vatican that shews he had nine years a Fistula in his eye As for Diogenes that fasted much and took his habitation in a Tub to make the world believe he loved a strict and severe life he took the diet Sir and in that very Tub sweat for the French disease and some unlearned Apothecary since mistaking its name called it Cornelius Tub. There was never yet Philosopher that could endure the tooth-ach patiently however they have writ the stile of Gods and made a pish at chance and sufferance The Vulgar sort of People in Rebellion are like unknown Lands those that first possess them have them What can be expected from the Herd but contraries he that trusts them where he should finde them Lions findes them Hares where Foxes Geese The Vulgar have for the most part sick mens apperites they desire that most which doth them most hurt He that Repents e're he commits a fault doth like a thrifty sinner store his soul with mercy to absolve that sin himself which he hereafter is so like to fall into The Drunkard after his lavish cups is dry and then is sober so at length when we are awak't from our lascivious dreams repentance then will follow like the sting placed in the Adders tail Divinity which calls our anger sin and courage pride hath sent this silly Cherub on earth Patience The Cowards sword which only doth disarm Dull sleeps that neither can nor will do harm Patience it is the greatest enemy to law that can be for it doth embrace all wrongs and so chains up Lawyers and Womens tongues it is the perpetual Prisoners liberty his Walks and Orchards it is the bond-slave's freedom that makes him seem proud of his iron chains it is the Beggars musick who thus sings Although their bodies beg their souls are Kings He is more Patient then a Brown Baker when he heats his Oven and hath forty Scolds about him The fears and joys hopes and desire mixed with despairs and doubts do make the sport in love they are the very dog with which we hunt the hare but as the dogs woud stop and streight give over were it not for the little thing before so would our Passions both alike must be flesht in the chase The grief that melts in tears by it self is spent Passion resisted grows more violent Faults are in flesh as
he dwells for if he have not a mind to tell thee what hast thou to do to enquire any thing concerning him Thirdly judge not rashly of him as who should say you have been lying with a Wench for you cannot but know that there are many ways of getting Claps beside that one as by drinking with the party lying in a hot bed with him sitting upon a close-stool after him as also by lifting riding or any other manner of straining Then let every Patient receive his cure with all privacy And lastly do not flatter me daily with any patient whatsoever This is the part which ye have to act upon the Theatre of this world which if thou dost not justly perform consider I say consider that you must make your exits into Stoves and Sweating-tubs much hotter then those with which you ever afflicted your patients withall being on earth Heaven direct your course that you may be neither Cheaters Imposters nor Cozeners as most are who profess the cure of Venereal Distempers but that ye may be in this as well as in all your other actions faithful and honest which is the daily wish of Your Friend and Servant A Broom-man in Kent-street to a young Lay of quality whom he fell in Love withall beholding her in a Belcony Madam AND by that word you may know I am no zuch Clown as you may take me for in good sooth law now your fair face hath wounded me to the very hart so that I would give all the old Shoes in my Sack to enjoy the happiness of your sweet company I know that Ladies love variety so that I am bold to think it would be no small recreation to you when you have been glutted with the company of your silk and satten Gallants to converse two or three hours with a taâ—terd Broom-man I have heard in some Ballads how the Gods did condescend to come upon the earth and dine with poor people much less therefore should you being but a mortal Lady disdain to eat a peice of bread and cheese now and then with a sorry Broom-man There is a Proverb that tells the Gentlemen that Jone is as good as my Lady in the dark and why should there not be another Proverb to tell the Gentlewomen That Tom is as good as my Lord in the dark I do not want examples to tell you how that the Queen of Fairies married a Tinker and of several Ladies that have married their Gentlemen Ushers others their Fathers Grooms and others their Butlers Now I believe my self not inferiour to any of those As for what you as a Woman can expect from a man I know my self sufficiently able of which I have sent you a Certificate signed with the Marks of most of the pretty Lasses in this street neither do I doubt of the continuance thereof unless your hard heart do consume my marrow with grief and anguish of mind do not therefore kill me who though I am but a Broom-man dare swear my self as faithful a Servant to you as any man in England Scotland France or Ireland Pray send me word by this Bearer for I stay within in great perplexity and cannot stir abroad with my Ware till I hear your Answer The Ladies Answer Gentle Broom-man I Understand the great affection which thou hast signified to me in thy Letter For which I give thee ten millions of thanks Truly thy eloquent expression and pat examples have begot so great an affection toward thee that the smoak of all the Shoes thou hast in thy Ware-house were they on fire is not able to smother the flames which thou hast kindled in my heart I shall not come to thee in my Coach lest it should draw out all the Wenches in the street to stare upon our private affections But if thou wilt make haste home from crying thy Ware about the streets I shall not fail to meet thee at the Wool-sack in Kent-street by six a clock to morrow night where I doubt not but that I shall be able to give thee sufficient testimonies of my humility and affable nature In the mean time I have sent thee a Flanders-lace Band and a Diamond Ring to wear for my sake Wash thy feet and put some sweet powder in thy hair and be confident in so doing thou wilt render thy self most acceptable to thy Endeared Friend and Servant A Country Parson to a rich Farmers Daughter in the same Village Kind Mistress Dorothy THE Parson of this Parish doth send thee greeting in these Lines For verily last Sunday as I was preaching thou didst dart from thy eyes the love of thy amiable features into my brest So that even as a Woman with Child longeth for the corner of an Apple-tart or a piece of raw Mutton so do I thirst after thee and even as a Virgin that eateth Chalk and drinketh Vinegar looks pale loseth her stomach so do I look pale with languishing for thee and my belly is shrunk up for want of food for I have not eaten above half a surloin of Beef forty tythe Egs thirty black Puddings and five great brown Apple-pies since Sunday last that your Father took me home to dinner which is now almost a week I shall put it to thy choice whether thou wilt be courted in publick or in private for I have made five delicate Sermons upon the most amorous place in all the Canticles wherewithall to allure thee into my embraces If thou dost consent then will I go to thy mother and as the childe desireth the maid to spread him some bread and butter for his afternoons Luncheon so will I desire her to give thee unto me that I may spread my my self upon thee If she replyeth Yea Then will I speak to her in the words of Saint Bernard saying I thank you heartily good Mother But if she say unto me Nay then as Saint Cyprian hath it very well I shall be ready to hang my self Be thou therefore my preserver and my intercessour that neither thou mayest want a Husband nor the Parish a Minister nor thy Mother a Man to devour her bag puddings A Letter of Smiles from a young conceited Scrivener to his beloved Mistress Mistress D. C. Spinster Madam I No sooner saw you but the tinder of my affection began to take fire For your beauty was to me like the hearb Larix cool in the water but hot in my stomack So that as Pharaoh did long to know his dream so did I long to know what would become of me as to your good liking of me Be not therefore a beauty without compassion which is like a Mandrake apple comely in shew but poisonful in taste But woe is me for I find that my words have wrought no more impression on your heart then an arrow on a rock of Adamant So that I may say of you that as in the greenest Grass is the greatest Serpent in the clearest Water the ugliest Toad so is your fair Body lin'd with a
cruel Soul Alas you have no mercy on my captivity so that I am like the Spaniel that gnaws his chain but sooner spoils his teeth then procures liberty But as a Bladder is to a learning Swimmer so is Hope to me which makes me apt to believe that as there is no Iron but will be softned with the fire so there is no Heart how hard so ever that will not be soft-by continual prayers I confess my expression is but like a picture drawn with a coal wanting these lively colours which a more skilful Pen might give it However consider that the Sun disdains not to shine upon the smallest Worm Reconcile your self to the humblest of your Vassals and do not through your Marble-hearted-cruelty utterly overwhelm him with Sence-distracting grief like a Current that breaks the Dams and with a vigorous impetuousness drowns the Fields A Countrey Bumpkin to his Mistress Sweet honey Jone I Have here sent thee a thing such a one as the Gentlefolks call a Love Letter 't was indited by my self after I had drank two or three good draughts of Ale but 't was writ in a Roman joyning-hand by the School-master and Clerk of our Parish to whom I gave six pence for his pains Truly Jone my parents never brought me up to speak finely as my Landlords Son doth but this I can say in downright terms I love thee Marry Jone many time and oft have I fetcht home thy Cows when no body knew who did it Marry Jone thou know'st I always plaid a thy side at stool ball and when thou didst win the Garland in the Whitson-holidayes marry Jone I was sure to be drunk that night for joy Marry Jone cry I still but when wilt thou marrie Jone I know thou dost love Will. the Taylor who 't is true is a very quiver man and foots it most fetuously but I can tell thee Jone I think I shall be a better man then he shortly for I am learning of a Fidler to play o' the Kit so that if thou wilt not yield the sooner I will ravish thee ere long with my musick 'T is true I never yet gave thee a Token but I have here sent thee a peice of silver Ribband I bought it in the Exchange where all the folks houted at me but thought I hout and be hang'd and you will for I will buy a Knot for my love I assure thee Jone 't will make a better shew then a Gilt Bay-leaf and for this year be the finest sight in all our Church But what wilt thou give me for this Jone alas I ask nothing but thy self come Jone thou shalt give me thy self come prethe Jone give me thy self What a happy day would that be that to see us with our best Cloathes on at Church and the Parson saying 〈◊〉 Tom take thee Jone and by the mass I would take thee and hug thee and lug thee too and hey then away to the Alehouse and hey for the Musitioners and the Canaries and the Sillabubs and the Shoulder a Mutton and gravie with a hey down derry and a diddle diddle dee Thus having no more to say I rest in assurance of thy good will thine honestly truly and blewly FINIS Posies for RINGS THou wert not handsom wise but rich 'T was that which did my eyes bewitch What God hath joyn'd let no man put asunder Divinely knit by God are we Late one now two the pledge you see We strangely met and so do many But now as true as ever any As we began so let 's continue My Beloved is mine and I am his True blew will never stain No money shall buy my No horns good Wife Against thou goest I will provide another Let him never take a Wife That will not love her as his life In loving thee I love my self A heart content Cannot repent I do not repent That I gave my consent No gift can show The love I ow. What the eye saw the heart hath chosen More faithful then fortunate I 'le ring thy thumb Then clap thy bum Hab nab yet happy be lucky Love me little but love me long 'T is a good Mare that ne're trips Love him that gave thee this Ring of gold 'T is he must kiss thee when th' art old Now I know more Then I knew before I long'd to lose and now have lost I am contented farewel frost This Circle though but small about The Devil jealousie shall keep out If I think my Wife is fair What need other people care Now do I find Why men are kind 'T is in vain for to resist Women will do what they list This Ring as a token I give to thee That thou no tokens do change for me One begs enough ne're fear To a small closet door my Dear Sarah I do love thee so Cause thou didst not say me No. My dearest Betty Is good and pretty I did then commit no folly When I married my sweet Molly Dorothy this Ring is thine And now thy bouncing body's mine 'T is fit men should not be alone Which made Tom to marry Jone Peg if thou art a Peg for me Then I will have a Peg for thee Su is bonny blithe and brown This Ring hath made her now my own Katie I chose with hair so red For the fine tricks she plays abed Nan with her curl'd locks I spy'd And would never be deny'd Prances is a name that 's common But H. W. made me a woman Tabitha's a name that sounds not ill She was bid rise but I bid mine lie still Ursula her name sounds rough I warrant she 'l give thee enough Dorcas she made coats for Children But we 'l make Children to wear coats Like Phyllis there is none She truly loves her Choridon Leonora's fair well bred Yet I had her Maiden-head Ellen all men commend thy eyes Onely I commend thy thighes I have a John as true as steel I do believe because I feel Robert thou art a man of mettle Thy string is sweet yet doth it nettle My Henry is a rousing blade I lay not long by him a maid My William with his wisp He loves me well although I lisp I love James for Scotlands sake Where so many bellies ake I love the name that conquer'd France Which made me yield to Edwards Lance. Thomas is fit a Cuckold to be For he will not believe unless he see I love Abraham above any Because he was the father of many PROVERBS The Text. HE that hath a Woman by the waste hath a wet Eel by the tail Comment For Women hate delaies as much as they abominate debility Womens actions are like their wombs not to be fathomed And therefore he that deals with them ought to be a man of a deep reach Love though he be blind can smell This is the reason that a man that runs passionately after a woman is said to have his nose in her tail and is call'd a smell-smock Nothing venture nothing have Yet he