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A87472 The touchstone, or, Trial of tobacco whether it be good for all constitutions : with a word of advice against immoderate drinking and smoaking : likewise examples of some that have drunk their lives away, and died suddenly : with King Jame's [sic] opinion of tobacco, and how it came first into England : also the first original of coffee : to which is added, witty poems about tobacco and coffe [sic] : something about tobacco, written by George Withers, the late famous poet ...; Two broad-sides against tobacco. Hancock, John, fl. 1638-1675.; Hancock, John, fl. 1669-1705.; James I, King of England, 1566-1625. Counterblaste to tobacco. 1676.; Maynwaringe, Everard, 1628-1699?; Thomson, George, fl. 1648-1679. Aimatiasis. Selections. 1676.; Ward, Samuel, 1577-1640. Woe to drunkards. 1676.; Sylvester, Josuah, 1563-1618. Tobacco battered, and the pipes shattered. 1676.; Everard, Giles. De herba panacea. English. Selections. 1676.; Wither, George, 1588-1667. 1676 (1676) Wing J144A; ESTC R42598 56,406 78

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fellowship and friendship but Wine is a rager and tumultuous make-bate and sets you a quarreling and medling When wit 's out of the head and strength out of the body it thrusts even Cowards and Dastards unfenced and unarmed into needless Frayes and Combats And then to whom are Wounds broken Heads blue Eyes maimed Limbs You have a drunken by-word Drunkards take no harm but how many are the mishaps and untimely misfortunes that betide such which though they feel not in drink they carry as marks and brands to their Grave You pretend you drink Healths and for Health but to whom are all kind of Diseases Infirmities Deformities pearled Faces Palsies Dropfies Head-aches If not to Drunkards Upon these premises he forcibly infers his sober and serious advise Look upon these woful effects and evils of Drunkenness and look not upon the Wine look upon the blue Wounds upon the red Eyes it causeth and look not on the red colour when it sparkleth in the Cup. If there were no worse then these yet would no wise man be overtaken with Wine As if he should say What see you in the Cup or Drink that countervaileth these dreggs that lie in the bottom Behold this is the Sugar you are to look for and the tang it leaves behind Woe and alas sorrow and strife shame poverty and diseases these are enough to make it odious but that which followeth withall will make it hideous and fearful For Solomon duely considering that he speaks to men past shame and grace senseless of blowes and therefore much more of reasons and words insisteth not upon these party woes which they bewitched and besotted with the love of Wine will easily over-see and over-leap but sets before their Eyes the direful end and fruit the black and poyfonful tail of this sin In the end it stingeth like the Serpent it biteth like the Cockatrice or Adder faith our new Translation All Interpreters agree That he means some most virulent Serpent whose Poyson is present and deadly All the woes he hath mentioned before were but as the sting of some Emmet Waspe or Nettle in comparison of this Cockatrice which is even unto death death speedy death painful and woful death and that as naturally and inevitably as Opium procureth sleep as Hellebore purgeth or any Poyson killeth Three forked is this sting and three fold is the death it procureth to all that are strung therewith The first is the death of Grace The second is of the Body The third is of Soul and Body eternal All sin is the poyson wherewithall the old Serpent and red Dragon envenomes the soul of Man but no sin except it be that which is unto death so mortal as this which though not ever unpardonably yet for the most part is also irrecoverably and inevitably unto death Seest thou one bitten with any other Snake there is hope and help as the Father said of his Son when he had information of his Gaming of his Prodigality yea of his Whoring But when he heard that he was poysoned with Drunkenness he gave him for dead his case for desperate and forlorn Age and experience often cures the other but this encreaseth with years and parteth not till death Whoring is a deep Ditch yet some few shall a man see return and lay hold on the wayes of life one of a thousand but scarce one Drunkard of ten thousand One Ambrose mentions and one have I known and but one of all that ever I knew or heard of Often have I been asked and often have I enquired but never could meet with an instance save one or two at the most I speak of Drunkards not of one drunken of such who rarely and casually have Noah-like been surprised over-taken at unawares But if once a Custome ever Necessity Wine takes away the Heart and spoils the Brain overthrows the Faculties and Organs of Repentance and Resolution And is it not just with God that he who will put out his natural light should have his spiritual extinguished He that will deprive himself of Reason should lose also the Guide and Pilot of Reason God's Spirit and Grace He that will wittingly and willingly make himself an Habitation of Unclean Spirits should not dispossess them at his own pleasure Most aptly therefore is it translated by Tremelius Hamorrbois which Gesner confounds with the Dipsas or thirsty Serpent whose poyson breedeth such thirst drought and inflamation like that of Ratsbane that they never leave drinking till they burst and die withall Would it not grieve and pitty and christian-Christian-soul to see a towardly hopeful young man well natured well nurtured stung with this Cockatrice bewailing his own case crying out against the baseness of the sin inveighing against-Company melting under the perswasions of Friends yea protesting against all enticements vow covenant and seriously indent with himself and his Friends for the relinquishing of it And yet if he meet with a Companion that holds but up his Finger he follows him as a Fool to the Stocks and as an Oxe to the Slaughter-house having no Power to withstand the Temptation but in he goes with him to the Tipling-house not considering that the Chambers are the Chambers of Death and the Guests the Guests of Death and there he continues as one bewitched or conjured in a Spell out of which he returns not till he hath emptied his Purse of Money his Head of Reason and his Heart of all his former seeming Grace There his Eyes behold the strange Woman his Heart speaketh perverse things becoming heartless as one saith Solomon in the heart of the Sea resolving to continue and return to his Vomit whatsoever it cost him to make it his daily work I was sick and knew it not I was struck and felt it not when I awake I will seek it still And why indeed without a Miracle should any expect that one stung with this Viper should shake it off and ever recover of it again Yea so far are they from recovering themselves that they infect and become contagious and pestilent to all they come near The Dragon infusing his Venome and assimulating his Elses to himself in no sin so much as in this that it becomes as good as Meat and Drink to them to spend their Wit and Money to compass Ale-house after Ale-house yea Town after Town to transform others with their Circean-Cups till they have made them Bruits and Swine worse then themselves The Adulterer and Usurer desire to enjoy their Sin alone but the chiefest pastime of a Drunkard is to heat and overcome others with Wine that he may discover their nakedness and glory in their foyl and folly In a word excess of Wine and the spirit of Grace are opposites the former expels the latter out of the Heart as smoke doth Bees out of the Hive and makes the man a meer Slave and Prey to Satan and his snares when by this Poyson he hath put out his Eyes and spoyled him of his
God and Gideon what Vice so predominant which these subdue not If the Lion roar what Beast of the Forest shall not tremble and hide their head have we not a noble experiment hereof yet fresh in our memory and worthy never to die in the timely and speedy suppression of that impudent abomination of Womens mannish habit threatning the confusion of Sexes and ruine of Modesty The same Royal Hand and care the Church and Common-wealth implores for the vanquishing of this Poyson no less pernicious more spreading and prevailing Take us these little Foxes was wont to be the suit of the Church for they gnabble our Grapes and hurt our tender Branches but now it is become more serious Take us these Serpents lest they destroy our Vines Vine-Dressers Vineyards and all This hath ever been Royal Game How famous in the story of Diodorus Siculus is the Royal munificence of Ptolomy King of Egypt for provision of Nets and maintenance of Huntsmen for the taking and destroying of Serpents noxious and noisome to his Countrey The like of Philip in Aristotle and of Attilius ReGulus in Aulus Gellius The Embleme mentioned at large by Plutarch engraven on Hercules Shield what is it but a Symbol of the Divine honor due to Princes following their Herculean labours in subduing the like Hidraes too mighty for any inferior person to take in hand It is their honor to tread upon Basilisks and trample Dragons under their Feet Solomon thinks it not unworthy his Pen to discourse their danger A royal and eloquent Oration is happily and worthily preserved in the large Volume of ancient Writings with this Title Oratio magnifici pacifici Edgari Regis habita ad Dunstanum Archiep. Episcopos c. The main scope whereof is to excite the Clergies care and devotion for the suppressing of this Vice for the common good Undertakers of difficult Plots promise themselves speed and effect if once they interest the King and make him Party And what more generally beneficial can be devised or proposed then this with more Honour and less Charge to be effected if it shall please his Majesty but to make trial of the strength of his Temporal and Spiritual Arms For the effecting of it if this help not what have we else remaining but wishes and prayers to cast out this kind withall God help us To him I commend the success of these Labors and the vanquishing of this Cockatrice TOBACCO BATTERED AND THE PIPES SHATTERED About their Ears that id'ly Idolize so base and barbarous a WEED OR At least-wise over-love so loathsome Vanity Collected out of the famous POEMS of Joshua Sylvester Gent. WHat-ever God created first was good And good for man while man uprightly stood But falling Angels causing man to fall His foul Contagion con-corrupted all His Fellow-Creatures for his Sin accurst And for his sake transformed from the first Till God and man man's Leprie to re-cure By Death kill'd Death re-making all things pure But to the Pure not to the still Prophane Who Spider-like turns Blessing into Bane Usurping right-less thank-less need-less here In wanton wilful wastful lustful chear Earths plenteous Crop which God hath onely given Unto his own Heirs both of Earth and Heaven Who only rightly may with Praise and Prayer Enjoy th' increase of Earth of Sea of Air Fowl Fish and Flesh Gems Mettals Cattel Plants And namely that which now no Angle wants Indian Tobacco when due cause Requires Not the dry Dropsie of Phantastick Squires None therefore deem that I am now to learn However dim I many things discern Reason and Season to distinguish fit Th' use of a thing from the abuse of it Drinking from Drunking Saccharum cum Sacco And taking of from taking all Tobacco Yet out of high Disdain and Indignation Of that stern Tyrant's strangest Usurpation Once Demi-captive to his puffing pride As millions are too-wilful foolifi'd Needs must I band against the needless use Of Don Tobacco and his foul abuse Which though in Inde it be an Herb indeed In Europe is no better then a Weed Which to their Idols Pagans Sacrifice And Christians here do well-nigh Idolize Which taking Heathens to the Devils bow Their Bodies Christians even their Souls do vow Yet th' Heathen have with th' ill some good withall Sith their con-native 't is non-natural But see the nature of abounding sin Which more abounding punishment doth win For knowing Servants wilful Arrogance Then silly Strangers savage Ignorance For what to them is Meat and Med'cinable Is turn'd tous a Plague intolerable Two smoky Engins in this latter Age Satan's short Circuit the more sharp his Rage Have been invented by too-wanton wit Or rather vented from th' infernal Pit Guns and Tobacco-Pipes with fire and smoke At least a third part of Mankind to choke Which happily th' Apocalyps fold-told Yet of the two we may think I be bold In some respect to think the last the worst However both in their effects accurst For Guns shoot from-ward only at their foen Tobacco-Pipes home-ward into their own When for the touch-hole firing the wrong end Into our selves the Poysons force we send Those in the Field in brave and hostile manner These cowardly under a covert banner Those with defiance in a threatful Terror These with affiance in a wilful Error Those though loud-roaring goaring-deep quick-ridding These stilly stealing longer Languors breeding Those full of pain perhaps and fell despight These with false pleasure and a seem-delight As Cats with Mice Spiders with Flyes full rife Pipe-Playing dallying and deluding life Who would not wonder in these sunny-days So bright illightned with the Gofpel's Rays Whence so much smoke and deadly vapors come To dim and dam so much of Christendom But we must ponder too these days are those Wherein the Devil was to be let lose And yawning broad-gate of that black abyss To be set ope whose bottom boundless is That Satan destin'd evermore to dwell In smoky Fornace of that Darksom Cell In smoke and darkness might inure and train His own deer minions while they here remain As Roguing Gipsies tan their little Elves To make them tan'd and ugly like themselves Then in despight who ever dare say nay Tobacconists keep on your course you may If you continue in your smoky ure The better far Hells sulphury Smoke endure And herein as in all your other evil Grow nearer still and liker to the Devil Save that the Devil if he could revoke Would fly from filthy and unhealthy Smoke Wherein cast out of Heav'n for Hellish-pride Unwilling he and forced doth abide Which herein worse than he the worst of ill You long for lust for lye for die for still For as the Salamander lives in fire You live in smoke and without smoke expire Should it be question'd as right well it may Whether discovery of America That New-found World have yielded to our old More hurt or good till fuller answer should Decide the doubt and quite determine it Thus
The Touchstone OR TRIAL OF TOBACCO Whether it be good for all Constitutions With a Word of Advice against immoderate Drinking and Smoaking LIKEWISE Examples of some that have drunk their Lives away and died suddenly With King JAME's Opinion of Tobacco and how it came first into England Also the first Original of Coffee To which is Added Witty Poems about Tobacco and Coffe something about Tobacco written by George Withers the late Famous Poet. The Picture Represents the Tobacchonists Armes and Turks Coffee-House COFFEE a kind of Turkish Renegade Has late a match with Christian water made A Coachman was the first here Coffee made And ever since the rest drove on the trade Me no good Engalash and sure enough He plaid the Quack to salve his Stygian stuff Ver boon for de stomach de Cough de Ptisick And I believe him for it looks like Physick London Printed and are to be Sold by the several Booksellers 1676. To all Taverns Inns Victualling-Houses Ale-houses Coffee-houses Strong-water-shops Tobacconists-shops in England Scotland or Ireland Gentle Readers HEre is presented to you a Brief Learned and a very seasonable Treatise for the Age we live in It was many years since Penned by King James of happy and blessed Memory Entituled A Counterblast to Tobacco It it here verbatim faithfully transcribed out of the large and learned Volume of His other Works in Folio which are rare and scarce to be had for money and of too great a price for the common sort of Tobacco-smokers to purchase It is granted the thing may be good and Physical and healthful being moderately and but seldom taken but for men to take ten or twenty Pipes in a day in all Companies Morning Noon and Night before and presently after Meals this is a strange way of taking Physick Now the King understanding the evil Custom of taking Tobacco or as we now call it smoking a Pipe was grown to a great head he seems to be very much insensed at it and discovers how it first came into England and its first Original and how that it was used much amongst the savage Indians to cure Lewes Venerea a Disease among them His Majesty wisely fore-seeing the evil consequences that would follow by such immoderate sucking in the foul smoke of this Indian Weed and He being the Physician of the Body Politick doth by many strong and excellent Arguments disswade his Subjects from imitating the practise of the Heathen Indians in drinking this noxious fume It was in his Time but a Novelty and practised but a little except amongst the Nobility Gentry or great Ones But now what is more frequently used in every Ale-house and Coffee-house besides great Inns and Taverns in London and all the Three Kingdoms over Whereas if men were so wise for their own good both in Body Soul and Estate as to handle a good Book either of Divinity or of Morality half so often as they do the Pipe of smoke it would be better for them in all respects more precious time and money would be saved I shall detain you no longer from a more learned Epistle and Treatise of the matter in hand And as King Solomon who was the wisest of Kings saith in his Book of Ecclesiastes That where the word of a King is there is power so I say If what our famous King James hath written be not of Power sufficient to divert all English men c. from this evil and hurtful Custom It is here seconded and backed home by the words and advice of an able and learned Doctor of Physick now living it being so sutable to the purpose was thought fit to be added to this Counterblast And that it may not be said as the common Proverb is To be only one Doctors opinion I have thought fit to add another Collected out of a Treatise Of the Bloud written by that learned Physician Dr. George Thompson who agreeth with the former against smoking Tobacco as dangerous I apprehend that what hath been spoken against drinking Tobacco may much more be said against immoderate drinking of Wine Ale Beer or any strong Liquors and Dishes of Coffee c. Thus hoping thou wilt make a good use of what is here gathered together and offered for thy good I rest A Well-wisher to thy Health J. H. To the Reader AS every humane body dear Country-men how wholsome soever is notwithstanding subject or at least naturally inclined to some sorts of Diseases or Infirmities So is here no Common-wealth or Body-Politick how well governed or peaceable soever it be that lacks their own popular Errors and naturally inclined Corruptions And therefore it is no wonder although this our Country and Common-wealth though peaceable though wealthy though long flourishing in both be amongst the rest subject to their own natural Infirmities We are of all Nations the people most Loving and most reverently Obedient to our Prince yet we are as time hath often born witness too easie to be seduced to make Rebellion upon very slight grounds Our fortunate and oft-proved Valour in Wars abroad our hearty and reverent Obedience to our Princes at home hath given us a long and thrice-happy Peace our Peace hath bred wealth And Peace and Wealth hath brough forth a general sluggishness which makes us wallow in all sorts of idle Delights and soft Delicacies the first seeds of the subversion of all great Monarchies Our Clergy are become negligent and lasie our Nobility and Gentry prodigal and sold to their private Delights Our Lawyers covetous our common People prodigal and curious and generally all sorts of People more careful for their private ends then for their Mother the Common-wealth For remedy whereof It is the King's part as the proper Physician of his Politick Body to purge it of all those Diseases by Medicines meet for the same as by a certain mild and yet just form of Government to maintain the Publick quietness and prevent all occasions of Commotion by the example of his own Person and Court to make us all ashamed of our sluggish Delicacy and to stir us up to the practice again of all honest Exercises and martial shadows of War as likewise by His and His Courts moderateness in Apparel to make us ashamed of our Prodigality By his quick Admonitions and careful over-seeing of the Clergy to waken them up again to be more diligent in their Offices By the sharp Tryal and severe Punishment of the partial covetous and bribing Lawyers to reform their Corruptions And generally by the example of His own Person and by the due execution of good Laws to reform and abolish piece and piece these old and evil-grounded Abuses For this will not be Opus unius Diei but as every one of these Diseases must from the King receive the one Cure proper for it so are there some sorts of Abuses in Common-wealths that though they be of so base and contemptible a condition as they are too low for the Law to look on and
his matters over the Helm by Distillation Behold what the event was the next morning I have heard complaints come from them that their Brains were something stupid dozed their Stomach nauseous being thirsty also feaverish All this they attribute to their transgressing limits of Sobriety in drinking or to the sophisticated adulterated Liquors not finding the least fault with the extravagant use of Tobacco which above all did them the most hurt privately Something I can speak experimentally to this purpose for having been wedded to it many years past supposing I had got an Antidote against Hypochondriack melancholy with an Apophlegmatism to discharge crude matter I applauded it in all Company without advertency at that time how false and treacherous it was which afterward perceiving I withdrew my self from the use thereof by degrees at length was altogether divorced from it Praevisa spicula levius feriunt Could we see the poysoned Arrows that are shot from this Plant questionless we would indeavour to avoid them that they might less intoxicate us Latet anguis in Herba We are suddenly surprized by this Serpentine Plant before we are aware thus that which we take for an Antidote becomes meer Poyson to us supplanting and clancularly confounding the 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 or good government of this Republick consisting in the strength and goodness of a seminal Archeus vigorous ferments the just constitution and harmony of every part Needs must then Indigestions Crudities Degeneration and Illegitimation of the nutricious juyce follow promoting Causes and products of the great Poyson of the Scurvy My advice therefore to any immoderate 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 a Fumesucker is That he would as he tenders the Salvation of Body and Soul wean himself by degrees from excess herein If so doubtless he will find if the Scurvy infest him much an abatement of the tedious symptoms therefore Such as are so accustomed to Tobacco that they cannot forbear it let what can be said against it So that neither the good and solid Perswasions of a great wise and learned King nor the wholsome and rational Arguments of two able and skilful Physicians will be of force to prevail with them My Advice to such is while they take it To meditate on this Poem following by which they may be able to make this double spiritual use of it Viz. I. To see the Vanity of the World II. The Mortality of Mankind Which I think is the best use can be made of it and the Pipe c. The Indian Weed withered quite Green at Noon cut down at Night Shews Thy decay all Flesh is hay Thus think then drink Tobacco The Pipe that is so lilly-white Shews Thee to be a mortal Wight And even such gone with a touch Thus think then drink Tobacco And when the Smoke ascends on high Think thou behold'st the Vanity Of worldly stuff gone with a puff Thus think then drink Tobacco And when the Pipe grows foul within Think on thy Souldefil'd with Sin And then the Fire it doth require Thus think then drink Tobacco The Ashes that are left behind May serve to put thee still in mind That unto Dust return thou must Thus think then drink Tobacco Answered by George Withers thus Thus think drink no Tobacco Woe to Drunkards A SERMON Preached many Years since By Mr. Samuel Ward PREACHER OF IPSWICH PROV 23. Verse 29 32. To whom is Woe to whom is Sorrow to whom is Strife c. In the end it will bite like a Serpent and sting like a Cockatrice SEer art thou also blind Watchman art thou also drunk or asleep Or hath a Spirit of slumber put out thine Eyes Up to thy Watch-Tower what descriest thou Ah Lord what end or number is there of the Vanities which mine Eyes are weary of beholding But what seest thou I see men walking like the tops of Trees shaken with the wind like Masts of Ships reeling on the tempestuous Seas Drunkenness I mean that hateful Night-bird which was wont to wait for the twilight to seek Nooks and Corners to avoid the howting and wonderment of Boys and Girls Now as if it were some Eaglet to dare the Sun-light to fly abroad at high Noon in every Street in open Markets and Fairs without fear or shame without controul or punishment to the disgrace of the Nation the out-facing of Magistracy and Ministry the utter undoing without timely prevention of Health and Wealth Piety and Vertue Town and Countrey Church and Common-wealth And doest thou like a dumb Dog hold thy peace at these things dost thou with Solomon's sluggard fold thine hands in thy Bosome and give thy self to ease and drowsmess while the envious man causeth the noisomest and baseth of weeds to over-run the choisest Eden of God Up and Arise lift up thy Voice spare not and cry aloud What shall I cry Cry woe and woe again unto the Crown of pride the Drunkards of Ephraim Take up a parable and tell them how it stingeth like the Cockatrice declare unto them the deadly poyson of this odious sin Shew them also the soveragin Antidote and Cure of it in the Cup that was drunk off by him that was able to overcome it Cause them to behold the brasen Serpent and be healed And what though some of these deaf Adders will not be charmed nor cured yea though few or none of this swinish herd of habitual Drunkards accustomed to wallow in their mire yea deeply and irrecoverably plunged by legions of Devils into the dead sea of their filthiness what if not one of them will be washed and made clean but turn again to their Vomit and trample the Pearls of all admonition under feet yea turn again and rend their Reprovers with scoffs and scorns making Jests and Songs on their Alebench Yet may some young ones be deterred and some Novices reclaimed some Parents and Magistrates awakened to prevent and suppress the spreading of this Gangrene And God have his work in such as belong to his Grace And what is impossible to the work of his Grace Go to then now ye Drunkards listen not what I or any ordinary Hedge-Priest as you style us but that most wise and experienced Royal Preacher hath to say unto you And because you are a dull and thick eared Generation he first deals with you by way of question a figure of force and impression To whom is woe c. You use to say Woe be to Hypocrites It 's true woe be to such and all other witting and willing sinners but there are no kind-of Offenders on whom woe doth so palpably inevitably attend as to you Drunkards You promise your selves Mirth Pleasure and Jollity in your Cups but for one drop of your mad mirth be sure of Gallons and Tuns of Woe Gall Wormwood and bitterness here and hereafter Other Sinners shall taste of the Cup but you shall drink off the dregs of God's Wrath and Displeasure To whom is Strife You talk of good
sorrow and care away And be you well assured that there you shall drink enough for all having for every drop of your former Bousings Vials yea whole Seas of God's Wrath never to be exhaust Now then I appeal from your selves in drink to your selves in your sober fits Reason a little the case and tell me calmly would you for your own or any mans pleasure to gratifie Friend or Companion if you knew there had been a Toad in the wine-pot as twice I have known happened to the death of Drinkers or did you think that some Caesar Borgia or Brasutus had tempered the Cup or did you see but a Spider in the Glass would you or durst you carouse it off And are you so simple to fear the Poyson that can kill the Body and not that which killeth the Soul and Body ever yea for ever and ever and if it were possible for more then for ever for evermore Oh thou vain Fellow what tellest thou me of friendship or good fellowship wilt thou account him thy Friend or good Fellow that draws thee into his company that he may poyson thee and never thinks he hath given thee right entertainment or shewed thee kindness enough till he hath killed thy Soul with his kindness and with Beer made thy Body a Carkass fit for the Biere a laughing and loathing-stock not to Boys and Girls alone but to Men and Angels Why rather sayest thou not to such What have I to do with you ye Sons of Belial ye poysonful Generation of Vipers that hunt for the precious life of a man Oh but there are few good Wits or great Spirits now a-days but will Pot it a little for company What hear I Oh base and low-spirited times if that were true If we were faln into such Lees of Time foretold of by Seneca in which all were so drowned in the dregs of Vices that it should be vertue and honour to bear most drink But thanks be to God who hath reserved many thousands of men and without all comparison more witty and valorous then such Pot-wits and Spirits of the Buttery who never bared their knees to drink health nor ever needed to whet their Wits with Wine or arm their courage with Pot-harness And if it were so yet if no such Wits or Spirits shall ever enter into Heaven without Repentance let my Spirit never come and enter into their Paradise ever abhor to partake of their bruitish pleasures lest I partake of their endless woes If young Cyrus could refuse to drink Wine and tell Aftyages He thought it to be Poyson for he saw it metamorphose men into Beasts and Carcases what would he have said if he had known that which we may know that the wine of Drunkards is the wine of Sodom and Gomorrah their grapes the grapes of gall their clusters the clusters of bitterness the Juyce of Dragons and the venome of Asps In which words Moses is a full Commentary upon Solomon largely expressing that he speaks here more briefly It stings like the Serpent and bites like the Cockatrice To the which I may not unfitly add that of Pauls and think I ought to write of such with more passion and compassion then he did of the Christians in his time which sure were not such Monsters as ours in the shapes of Christians Whose God is their Belly whom they serve with Drink-Offerings whose glory is their shame and whose end is damnation What then take we pleasure in thundering out Hell against Drunkards is there nothing but death and damnation to Drunkards Nothing else to them so continuing so dying But what is there no help nor hope no Amulet Antidote or Triacle are there no Presidents found of Recovery Ambrose I temember tells of one that having been a spectacle of Drunkenness proved after his Conversion a pattern of sobriety And I my self must confess that one have I known yet living who having drunk out his bodily Eyes had his spiritual Eyes opened proved diligent in hearing and practising Though the Pit be deep miry and narrow like that Dungeon into which Jeremy was put yet if it please God to let down the cords of his Divine mercy and cause the Party to lay hold thereon it is possible they may escape the snares of death There is even for the most debauched Drunkard that ever was a soveraign Medicine a rich Triacle of force enough to cure and recover his Disease to obtain his Pardon and to furnish him with strength to overcome this deadly Poyson fatal to the most And though we may well say of it as men out of experience do of Quartane Agues that it is the disgrace of all moral Physick of all Reproofs Counsels and Admonitions yet is there a Salve for this Sore there came one from Heaven that trode the Winepress of his Fathers fierceness drunk of a Cup tempered with the bitterness of God's Wrath and the Devils Malice that he might heal even such as have drunk deepest of the sweet Cup of Sin And let all such know that in all the former discovery of this Poyson I have only aimed to cause them feel their sting and that they might with earnest Eyes behold the Brasen Serpent and seriously repair to him for Mercy and Grace who is perfectly able to eject even this kind which so rarely and hardly is thrown out where once he gets possession This Seed of the Woman is able to bruise this Serpents head Oh that they would listen to the gracious offers of Christ if once there be wrought in thy Soul a spiritual thirst after mercy as the thirsty Land hath after rain a longing appetite after the water that comes out of the Rock after the Blood that was shed for thee then let him that is athirst come let him drink of the water of life without any money of which if thou hast took but one true and thorow draught thou wilt never long after thy old puddle waters of Sin any more Easie will it be for thee after thou hast tasted of the Bread and Wine in thy Father's House ever to loath the Husks and Swill thou wert wont to follow after with greediness The Lord Christ will bring thee into his Mothers House cause thee to drink of his spiced Wine of the new Wine of the Pomegranate Yea he will bring thee into his Cellar spread his Banner of Love over thee stay thee with flagons fill thee with his love till thou beest sick and overcome with the sweetness of his Consolations In other Drink there is excess but here can be no danger The Devil hath his invitation Come let us drink and Christ hath his inebriamini Beye filled with the Spirit Here is a Fountain set open and Proclamation made And if it were possible for the bruitishest Drunkard in the World to know who it is that offereth and what kind of water he offereth he would ask and God would give it frankly without money he should drink liberally be
for the present might we answer fit That thereby we have rightly understood Both given and taken greater hurt then good And that on both sides both for Christians It had been better and for Indians That only good men to their coast had come Or that the Evil had still staid at home For what our People have brought thence to us Is like the head-piece of a Polypus Wherein is quoted by sage Plutarch's quill A Pest'lence great good and great Pest'lence ill We had from them first to augment our Stocks Two grand Diseases Scurvy and the Pocks Then two great Cordials for a Counterpoize Gold and Tobacco both which many wayes Have done more mischief then the former twain And all together-brought more loss then gain But true it is we had this trash of theirs Only in barter for our broken Wares Ours for the most part carried out but sin And for the most part brought but Vengeance in Their Fraight was Sloth Lust Avarice and Drink A burden able with the weight to sink The hugest Carrak yea those hallowed Twelve Spain's great Apostles-even to over-whelve They carried Sloth and brought home scurvy skin They carried Lust and brought home Pox within They carried Avarice and Gold they got They carried Bacchus and Tobacco brought Alas poor Indians That but English none Could put them down in their own Trade alone That none but English more alas more strange Could justifie their pittiful exchange Of all the Plants that Tellus Bosom yields In Groves Glades Gardens Marshes Mountains Fields None so pernicious to mans life is known As is Tobacco saving Hemp alone Betwixt which two there seems great sympathy To ruinate poor Adam's Progeny For in them both a strangling vertue note And both of them do work upon the Throat The one within it and without the other And th' one prepareth work unto the tother For there do meet I mean at Gaile and Gallows More of these beastly base Tobacco-Fellows Then else to any prophane Haunt do use Excepting still the Play-house and the Stews Sith 't is their common lot so double-choaked Just bacon-like to be hang'd up and smoked A destiny as proper to befall To moral Swine as to Swine natural If there be any Herb in any place Most opposite to God's good Herb of Grace 'T is doubtless this and this doth plainly prove it That for the most most graceless men do love it Or rather doat most on this wither'd Weed Themselves as wither'd in all gracious deed 'T is strange to see and unto me a wonder When the prodigious strànge abuse we ponder Of this unruly rusty Vegetal From modern Symmists Jesu critical Carping at us and casting in our dish Not Crimes but Crums as eating Flesh for Fish W' hear in this case no Conscience-cases holier But like to like the Devil with the Collier For a Tobacconist I dare aver Is first of all a rank Idolater As any of the Ignatian Hierachy Next as conformed to their foppery Of burning day-light and good Night at Noon Setting up Candles to enlight the Sun And last the Kingdom of new Babylon Stands in a dark and smoky Region So full of such variety of smokes That there-with-all all Piety it choaks For there is first of all the smoke of Ignorance The smoke of Error smoke of Arrogance The smoke of Merit super-er'gatory The smoke of Pardons smoke of Purgatory The smoke of censing smoke of thurifying Of Images of Satans fury flying The smoke of Stews from smoking thence they come As horrid hot as torrid Sodom some Then smoke of Powder-Treason Pistol Knives To blow up Kingdoms and blow out Kings Lives And lastly too Tobacco's smoky mists Which coming from Iberian Baalists No small addition of adustion fit Bring to the smoke of the unbottom'd Pit Yerst opened first as openeth St. John By their Abaddon and Apollyon But sith they are contented to admire What they dislike not if they not desire For with good reason may we ghess that they Who swallow Camels swallow Gnatlings may 'T is ground enough for us in this dispute Their Vanities thus obvious to refute Their Vanities Mysterious mists of Rome Which have so long besmoked Christendom And for the rest it shall suffice to say Tobacconing is but a smoky Play Strong arguments against so weak a thing Were needless or unsuitable to bring In this behalf there needs no more be done Sith of it self the same will vanish soon T' evaporate this smoke it is enough But with a breath the same aside to puffe Now my first puff shall but repel th' ill savour Of Place and Persons of debaucht behaviour Where 't is most frequent second shew I will How little good it doth third how great ill 'T is vented most in Taverns Tipling-cotts To Ruffians Roarers Tipsy-tosty-pots Whose Custom is between the Pipe and Pot Th' one cold and moist th' other dry and hot To skirmish so like Sword-and-Dagger-fight That 't is not easie to determine right Which of their Weapons hath the Conquest got Over their Wits the Pipe or else the Pot Yet 't is apparent and by proof express Both stab and wound the Brain with drunkenness For even the derivation of the name Seems to allude and to include the same Tobacco as Τω Βακχω one would say To Bacchus Cup-god dedicated ay And for conclusion of this Point observe The places which to these abuses serve How-ever of themselves noysome enough Are much more loathsome with the stench and stuff Extracted from their Limbeckt Lips and Nose So that the Houses common haunts of those Are liker Hell than Heav'n for Hell hath smoke Impenitent Tobacconists to choak Though never dead there shall they have their fill In Heav'n is none but Light and Glory still Next multitudes them daily hourly drawn In this black Sea of smoke tost up and down In this vast Ocean of such latitude That Europe only cannot it include But out it rushes over-runs the whole And reaches well-nigh round from Pole to Pole Among the Moors Turks Tartars Persians And other Ethnicks full of Ignorance Of God and good and if we shall look home To view and rew the State of Christendom Upon this Point we may this Riddle bring The Subject hath more Subjects then the King For Don Tocacco hath an ampler Reign Than Don Philippo the great King of Spain In whose Dominions for the most it grows Nay shall I say O horror to suppose Heathenish Tobacco almost every where In Christendom Christ's outward Kingdom here Hath more Disciples than Christ hath I fear More Suits more Service Bodies Souls and good Than Christ that bought us with his pretious Bloud O great Tobacco greater then great Can Great Turk great Tartar or great Tamerlan With Vulturs Wings thou hast and swifter yet Then an Hungarian Ague English Sweat Through all degrees flown far nigh up and down From Court to Cart from Count to Country-Clown Not scorning Scullions Coblers Colliers Jakes-farmers Fidlers Ostlers Oysterers
Rogues Gipsies Players Pandars Punks and all What common Scums in Common-Sewers fall For all as Vassals at thy beck are bent And breath by thee as their new Element Which well may prove thy Monarchy the greater Yet prove not thee to be a whit the better But rather worse for Hells wide-open road Is easiest found and by the most still trod Which even the Heathen had the Light to know By Arguments as many times they show Here may we also gather for a need Whether Tobacco be a Herb or Weed And whether the excessive use be fit Or good or bad by those that favour it Weeds wild and wicked mostly entertain it Herbs wholsome Herbs and holy minds disdain it If then Tobacconing be good how is 't That lewdest loosest basest foolishest The most unthrifty most intemperate Most vitious most debaucht most desperate Pursue it most The wisest and the best Abhor it shun it flee it as the Pest Or piercing poyson of a Dracons whisk Or deadly eye-shot of a Basilisk If Wisdom baulk it must it not be folly If Vertue hate it is it not unholy If men of worth and minds right generous Discard it scorn it is 't not scandalous And to conclude is it not to the Devil Most pleasing pleasing so most the most evil My second puff is proof how little good This smoke hath done that ever hear I cou'd For first there 's none that takes Tobacco most Most usually most earnestly can boast That the excessive and continual use Of this dry-suck-at ever did produce Him any good civil or natural Or moral good or artificial Unless perhaps they will alledge it draws Away the ill which still it self doth cause Which course me-thinks I cannot liken better Then to a Userers kindness to his Debter Who under shew of lending still subtracts The Debters own and then his own exacts Till at the last he utterly confound him Or leave him worse and weaker then he found him Next if the Custom of Tobacconing Yield th' Users any good in any thing Either they have it or they hope it prest By proof and practice taking still the best For none but Fools will them to ought beslave Whence benefit they neither hope nor have Therefore yet farther as a Questionist I must enquire of my Tobacconist Why if a Christian as some sometimes seem Believing God waiting all good from him And unto him all good again referring Why to eschew th' Ungodly's graceless erring Why pray they not not why praise they not his name For hoped good and good had by this same As all men do or ought to do for all The gifts and goods that from his goodness fall Is 't not because they neither hope nor have Good hence to thank God for nor farther crave But as they had it from the Heathen first So heathenishly they use it still accurst And as some jest of Jisters this is more Ungodly meat both after and before Lastly if all delights of all Mankind Be vanity vexation of the Mind All under Sun must not Tobacco bee Of Vanities the vainest Vanity If Solomon the wisest earthly Prince That ever was before or hath been since Knowing all Plants and then perusing all From Cedar to the Hysop on the Wall In none of all professeth that he sound A firm Content or Consolation found Can we suppose that any shallowing Can find much good in oft Tobacconing My third and last Puff points at the great evil This noysome Vapor works through wily Devil If we may judge if knowledge may be had By their effects how things be good or bad Doubtless th' effects of this pernitious Weed Be many bad scarce any good indeed Nor doth a man scarce any good contain But of this Evil justly may complain As thereby made in every part the worse In Body Soul in Credit and in Purse A Broad-Side AGAINST COFFEE OR THE Marriage of the Turk COFFEE a kind of Turkish Renegade Has late a match with Christian water made At first between them happen'd a Demur Yet joyn'd they were but not without great stir For both so cold were and so faintly meet The Turkish Hymen in his Turbant swet coffee was cold as Earth Water as Thames And stood in need of recommending Flames For each of them steers a contrary course And of themselves they sue out a Divorce Coffee so brown as berry does appear Too swarthy for a Nymph so fair so clear And yet his sails he did for England hoist Though cold and dry to court the cold and moist If there be ought we can as love admit 'T is a hot love and lasteth but a fit For this indeed the cause is of their stay New castle's bowels warmer are than they The melting Nymph distills her self to do 't Whilst the Slave Coffee must be beaten to 't Incorporate him close as close may be Pause but a while and he is none of he Which for a truth and not a story tells No Faith is to be kept with Infidels Sure he suspects and shuns her as a Whore And loves and kills like the Venetian Moor Bold Asian Brat with speed our consines flee Water though common is too good for thee Sure Coffee's vext he has the breeches lost For she 's above and he lies undermost What shall I add but this and sure 't is right The Groom is heavy ' cause the Bride is light This canting Coffe has his Crew inricht And both the Water and the Men bewitcht A Coachman was the first here Coffee made And ever since the rest drive on the trade Me no good Engalash and sure enough He plaid the Quack to salve his Stygian stuff Ver boon for de stomach de Cough de Ptisick And I believe him for it looks like Physick Coffee a crust is charkt into a coal The smell and taste of the Mock China bowl Where huff and puff they labor out their Lungs Lest Dives-like they should bewail their Tongues And yet they tell ye that it will not burn Though on the Jury Blisters you return Whose furious heat does make the water rise And still through the Alembicks of your eyes Dread and desire ye fall to 't snap by snap As hungry Dogs do scalding porrige lap But to cure Drunkards it has got great Fame Posset or Porrige will 't not do the same Confusion huddles all into one Scene Like Noah's Ark the clean and the unclean But now alas the Drench has credit got And he 's no Gentleman that drinks it not That such a Dwarf should rise to such a stature But Custom is but a remove from Nature A little Dish and a large Coffee-house What is it but a Mountain and a Mouse Mens humana novitatis avidissima I have heard it is good for one thing and that falls out too often when men are so drunk with Wine Beer or Ale or Brandy that they are unfit to manage their Imployment then a Dish of hot Coffee is a present Remedy to settle