do euen say to my soul Peace be humble and subiect in al to thy God whom thou art not worthy so much as to name with thy defiled mouth Indeed my Lord whose power and Maiesty prostrate I acknowledg and adoreâ— with al mine hart and soul if I should neither in this nor in the next world receaue any other reward but what already thou hast bestowed on me which I haue I must needs conâ—esse receaued gratis of thy Mercy without any desert of mine owne yet that which tâ—ou hast so already done for me is sufficient to declare to Heauen and earth the superaboundance of thy mercy and clemency to a sinful and contempâ—tible creature I wil there for sing vnto thee mercy and iudgment al the days of my life wishing always that thy wil which is Iustice it-selâ—â— may be wholy and perfectly accomâ—plishâ—d in me thy sinful seruant Let me liue as-long as it pleaseth thee or dy in the very beginning of these my desires to loue send sicknes or health suddain or lingring death pouerty or aboundance good fame or that I be by al the world despised and in fine in al do with me as it is most for thine honour For in this I plaâ—e al my comfort and happines faithfully to serue thee and to be little or great in thine eyes as seemeth best to thee For I accompt it a sufficient reward for al that euer I shal be able to do or suffer that thou hast admitted me vnworthy wretch into a place of liuing where I may know and euen see with mine eyes how to serue and please thee this I say is more then can be deserued by me For to serue thee is an honour aboue al that can be imagined by me yet without any regard of recompence it is due to thee that I serue and loue thee with al the forces of my body and soul which grant I may now begin to do and perseuer therin til my end that I may for thy own sake obtain the happines eternally to praise thee O remoue al impediments between my soul and thee Let me dy to al created things that I may liue alone to theeâ— O let al creatures be to me as if they were not to the end I may more fully attend to thee in the bottome of my soul where I wil in silence harken to thee Speak Peace to my soul that I may be capable of thy voice more sweet then al things whatsoeuer Speak to my hart but speak so as I may hear thee Teach me how to practise to thy honour those diuine vertues which make souls so pleasing to thee to wit Charity Humility Obedience Patience and Discretion which iudgeth between custome and true reason between opinion and thy true Iustice which manifesteth it self to those souls who seek only to loue and praise thee THIS pious soul hauing written thus far went no farther being surprised with a bodily indisposition vpoâ— the 29. or 30. of Iuly 1633. which proued to be hâ—r last sicknes that brought her to a happy death vpon the 17. of August following The last of these Confessions saue one she began as there appeareth vpon S. Mary Magdalens day being the 22. of Iuly next bâ—fore her death HEERE FOLLOVV SOME other Sentences and Sayings of the same pious Soul found in some others papers of hers THE interior or Spiritual disposition os man is of that great and infinit worth and moment that so it be wel al other matters wil also go wel and be in good plight And the good state of the interior and therby also of the exterior proceedeth from the harkning to and following of the Diuine interior Cal or inspiration the which to a â—oul capable of an internal life is or ought to be as al in al. And wo to such a soul who ouercome by threats or perswaâ—ions from without or by temptations within her or other occasions whatsoeuer gâ—ueth ouer her prosecution of Mental prayer by meanes wherof only is she capable of discerning and following the diuine wil and Cal. And therefor ô you souls that are capable of internal prayer do you accordingly prosecute it and be grateful to God for the grace of it For it causeth the greatest happines that is to be gotten in this liâ—e and an answarable happines in the future For by it in this life one passeth through al things how hard and paineful soeuer they be By it we become familiar euen with God him-self and to haue our conuersation in Heauen By it al impediments wil be remoued between God and the soulâ— By it you shal receaue light and grace for al that God would do by you By it we shal come to regard God in al things and profitably neglect our selues By it we shal know how to conuerse on earth without prâ—iudice to our souls And in fine by it we shal praise God and become so vnited to him that nothing shal be able to separate vs for time or eternity from his sweet Goodnes And let him be al in al to vs who only can satisfy our souls He is his own Praise iâ— which and by wâ—ich we are infinitly happy though of our selues we aâ—e able to praise and loue him but in a very poore maner who can say that desire nothing but to loue and praise him that they are poor seeing he who is more theirs then they are their owne is so rich ond to whom nothing is wanting that should make him an infinit happines in this let vs ioy in this iet vs glory without intermission when we are not able to attend vnto him and praise him as we would let vs commend our hart and soul to the Saints in Hâ—auen who without ceasing praise our Lord Let vs do that by them which we are not able to do by our selues yea let vs desire him who is his own praise and only is able to do it as he dâ—serueâ—h to haue it done to supply what he desireâ—h we should wish him Lâ—t vs sâ—ek no other coÌ„foâ—t but to be able without al comfort to be true to him Let vs rest in him alone and and not in any thing that is or can be creaâ—ted Let vs not seâ—ke the gist but the giuer O hoW little is al the loue we can giue him in comparison of that he deserueth from vs where therefâ—r shal thâ—re be room for any created thing in out souls Let vs wish and desire and as far as it lyes in vs procure that al loue be giuen to him Let him haue al Glory al Honour and al Praise Let vs desire the fauour of none but him alone to whose free disposition let vs stand for time and eternity as absolutly by ouâ— wil as if we neuer had any other freedom of wâ—l in vs. Nothing we do or suffer let vs esteâ—me great for our sinnes deserue much more Let our whole care tend to the magnifying of him Let his honour bâ— ours and let vs seek nothing
it is his wil that in al those things as wel as in meere internal the soul should simply regard him and that as absolutly as if he by him-self had bidden or commanded her Neither doth such a soul regard who or what or in what maner God requireth it at her hands but it suffiseth her that it is he that exacteth it of her whom she in simplicity of spirit endeauoureth to regard in al things with out any mean of creatures Which maketh the soul indifferent whether she were commanded by an Angel or a worme if it were Gods wil rather to command her and signify his wil to her by the worm not that she esteemed not of the Angel in a far higher degree but becaus she would not make any thing her obiect or do any thing out of any other respect then to conforme her-self to the diuine Iustice in al things and regard him alone in al she did or omitted And câ—rtainly let a soul be persuaded or persuade her-self what she wil as a means to arriue to perfection she shal neuer find true peace if she be of a contemplatiue spirit and be not defectiue in her natural iudgment but by following the diuine cal and regarding that in al she doth or omitteth and though she do al that Superiors command yet to do it with as little regard of them and as much of God as if he had immediatly commanded her by him-self And so much as God shal by his grace concurring with her care and diligence enable her to work in this obseruation of the diuine cal so much the more light she shal haue for the obseruing of it so much the more profit and peace wil she find in her own soul and so much the more shal she walk according to the Iustice of God of which how much the more our works do pertake so much are they worth and no more for as Tauâ—erus saith God rewardeth no works but his own VVhere it is said in our Constitutions that after our profession we haue not so much as powre ouer our own bodies or souls I vnderstand it that by the very nature of our profession we are so bound to tend to Perfection that we should do nothing but in regard to God whose wil we haue â—here professed to choos for our own and whose Iustice we wil with al diligence perform let him signiâ—y it by what whom and in what mâ—ner hâ— please without any regard of our own profit or commodity for time or eternity and certainly in this sense Obedience cannot be too much commended But let our actions be neuer so much commended and applauded by our Superiors and al others if it go not right between God and our souls it wil be but little to our comâ—ort or profit And if we reflect vpon the circumstances of the Superiors command whâ—reby wee may obscure that regarding God in our souls we shal neuer become perfect in Obedience For as S. Paul saith Powre was not giuen for distruction but for edification and applying it performing it and exacting it in an other maner then as it was meant and ordained by God in and by our Religious Profession is the reason that so few become pâ—rfectly Obedient for by making our Obedience to regard Superiors in the first place for example to trouble and perplexe our-â—elues in thinâ—ing it must be done with this circumstance and this maner and at this time and diuers other circumstances little to the purpose or els I shal not performe my Obedience in perfectâ—on This is to tire out my-self and make my-self weary of Obedence and not to serue God with alacriâ—y and â—hereâ—ul willingnes This is to find his yoke intollerable and not sweet and easy which certainly if it be not to vs it is our own fault and not his For he hath set such order and measure in al things that the more they are done according to his wil the more easily are they done for he is far from being the Author of disquiet and confusion His spirit iâ— Iustice and Peace and Ioy in the holy Ghost And it is we that by our prepostâ—rousnes do peruert his Iustice and cause that effect in our souls by that which we pretend he exacts And so as sir Thomas More saith the vrchin wench goes whining vp and down as if nothing she did or could do for some circumstance or other which was wanting in it did please Hâ—m VVâ—â— yet indeed is so easily pleased by those of good wils and who intend or desire nothing but to please and content him and seeke him simply and purely not any guift or grace but according to his will that if there were no world but this and that my soul were to dy with my body yet I would choos to serue and please him alone and none but him rather then by doing the contrary haue al others my friends and haue al the honors pleasures and in fine the whole world at my command and this though I were also to suffer and subiect my-sâ—lf for his sake to euery liuing creature whilest â—â— liued For in this kind of life lyeth â—â—d the greatest Heauen that can be enioyed vpoÌ„ earth And though he try the souls with diuers temptations yet he doth it with much regard of their frailty doth so accommodate his grace to that he layeth vpon them that they find he reserues that for to morrow which the soul was not able to haue borne with profit to dâ—y And the soul so plainly sees that she of her-self is able to do nothing so that if she had ouercome one difficulty or temptation a thousand times she dareth no more confide in her being able to ouercome it again then if she had neuer done it yet in al her life And yet she is so confident in God that if it were pronounced vnto her by God him-self who can noâ— deceiue or be deceiued that there were infinit disgraces pains temptations pouerties and confusions hung ouer her head Al the care she would take would be to beseech God continually that as he prouided those troubles for her so he may enable her to beare them without offending him therin and in that maner for his glory that he intended by sending them for of herself she willingly acknowledgeth that no feather is more easily carried a way with a violent wind then her soul would be carryed to hel by the least temptation the diuel could suggest vnto her if he did not in al things by his grace protect her And the longer and the more faithfully a soul hath serued our Lord the cleerer doth it appeare to her that whatsoeuer is wel done by her it is so wholy to be attributed to God that she deserues most iust punishment if she take any part of it to her-self or presume by what she hath done by his powre to be able to endure the least crosse that can befal her of her own self But
mind in which I languish are much more grieuous then those of the body For these make vs but vngratful to men but the other make vs displeasing in thine eyes But thy goodnes as it is seene in this example together with the cure of the one did also vse to grant pardon for the other For thou didst say to him Thy sins are foâ—giuen thee by wâ—ich he became cured in body and soul. This thy mercy I remember with great ioy and comfort and falling down at thy feet my Lord I beg of thee that thou wilt be merciful to me a sinner for thy own sake and say vnto my soul Thy sinnes are forgiuen tâ—ee and grant that I may now begin to liue to thee that so by thy grace al impediments may be remoued which hinder me from louing thee as thou wouldst be loued by me whicâ— is al I wish or desire To this end I fly to thee to this end I sigh after thee only wishing and desiirng that in al things thy holy wil may be perfectlyâ— accomplished in me for time and eternity If I should not howrly approach to thee who art the only true light darknes and the shadow of death would ouerwhelm me and make me vncapable of this thy light which leadeth to the true loue of thee O how happy were I if I could truly say Anima mea in manibus meis semper My soul in my hands always that so my soul might truly hear and follow what my Lord speaketh to my hart For thy words ate works O giue me a true contempt of myâ—sef that I may dy to al that the world esteemeth or desireth For I find where I seek my self there I am caught as it were in a snare and where I forâ—ake my self there I become more and more capable of that true liberty of spirit which carrieth the soul aboue it self and al created things that iâ— may more perfectly be vnited to thee For this is thy wil that by true Abnegation in al things both external and internal and by a total subiection to thee both as concerning our selues and al others in any thing that can be wished by vs we should enioy a certain diuine heauenly peace amidst the crosses passiôs contradictions andmutabilities which are incident to our life in this warfare of ours For the more sound a soul is in the practise of this doctrin of thine of denying herself in al and following thee by proposing no other end to her self in any thing but thy self alone the more she getteth as I may say her soul into her hands and the lesse she is moued in al things that happen either without her or within her For she seeth and knoweth that such haue euer been thy practise and permissions about crosses and difficulties falling vpon souls which was and is with and for this intention of thine that they of necessity must suffer and therby become disposed and in some sort worthy for to enter into thy Kingdom Neither doth the soul that attendeth to thee wonder at crosse accidents nor at the wayes or meanes by which they fal vpon her but in al of them she confideth in thee that they shal al turn to her greatest good And as for the faults which she comitteth she humbleth herself hoping stil more and more in thy merciâ—ful forgiuenes and assistance It is not strange to her to see so many and different opinions of al men concerning the vse of matters and things that of themselues are indifferent but remembring that as S. Paul saith Euery man aboundeth in his own sense she adhereth to thee who art stil the same and hath relation to thee in al she doth or omitteth By which meanes thou teachest her seeking simply thine honour in al things where when in what maner and of whom she shal ask in doubtful cases For it is al one to her O my God If thou require it to be resolued by another or by thyâ—self But indeed in the way of Abnegation questions are rare and to go forth questioning without thy sending is but a meere immortification and doth intangle the soul and bring her into inconueniences incomprehensible and for such doing when we so do we cannot passe without a bitter check for it in our intâ—rior by thy diuine Maiesty as thou knowst my good Lord my soul hath experienced For those souls that thou leadest by the way of loue of them I say thou exactest that they should make their moane only to thee thou hauing as it were giuen them a pledge that thou wilt become al in al and aboue al to them if they wil but remain faithâ—ul to thee Also they so litle desire or esteem any graces comforts or fauours which can be granted or bestowed vpon them but only so far as they are meerly necessary to maintain them in grace and fauour in thee and only as they are thought fit for them by thee whom they deâ—ire to be gratful to for al thy benefits that they neuer desire them but wish rather to adhere to thee by pure faith that they may become therby the more deare and pleasing to thee For a as my Lord God what is al thou canst giue to a louing soul who sigheth and panteth after thee alone and esteemeth al things as dung that she may gain thee What is al I say whilst thou giuest not thy-fâ—lf who art that one thing which is only necessary and which alone can satisfy our souls Was it any comfort to St Mary Magdalen when she sought theâ— to find two Angels which presented themselues insteed of tbee verily I cannot think it was any ioy vnto her For that soul that hath set her whole loue and desire on thee can neuer find any true satisfaction but only in thee Yea comforts granted by thee make the soul become affraid least thâ—t by them she should the less â—a thfully serue thee and so far as it may stand with thy wil considering my extraordinary frailty I had rather serue thee without consolation then to find or feel that which may make me esteeme any thing of my self or hinder me from resting only in thee who arâ— my God and al my desire for euer Amen THE XXXVII CONFESSION THis day my Lâ—rd it is read in the Gospel of our Office that thou didst send thy seruants into the lanes for the poor lame blind and deformed to coÌ„pel them to enâ—ter and tast of thy supper the which thy Mercy did so particularly extend it self to me that with great ioy and comfort I heare it read and with exceeding desire of gratitude I recount it heer in the sight of thy diuine Maiesty For first who could be more deformed in body and soul then I and yet thou didst not despise me and Secondly who could haue less desir to enter into holy Religion which is the place where we may most aboundantly tast and see how sweet our Lord is then my frozen and stupid soul
this was not the practise of Saints who yet sound often great opposition and mortification by meanes of Supeâ—iors which they bearing patiently and obeying stil out of an internalâ—egard â—egard of thee in their souls al turned to their greater aduancement in â—hy loue and their Superiors at last â—y thy help concurred to that which â—hey desired so far as it was thy wil who hast disposed of al things in order and iustice and nothing can be wel done but that we do out of an internal light from thee and out of obedience to thee to whom obedience is due in al things whatsoeuer Thou hast set an order in al things and euery thing as it is ordained by thee wil concur to a most heauenly harmony but corrupting thy meaning al things are out of order and peace on al sides is disturbed O how happy are they whose souls are in a right way to hear and follow thy wil and who do nothing without consulting with thee in their soul giuing that to God which is only Gods own and to Caesar that which is due to Caesar for God for both these obediences are necessary to make a true spiritual life For in vaine do we giue to thee if we deny Obedience to them who are set ouer vs by thee and also in vaine is it to please and haue the fauour of our Superiors if we internally neglecâ— to haue in al things relation to thee from both these errors deliuer me I beseech thee that my soul may be a peaceful habitation for thee Let me humbly behaue my-self towards al and let me not measure my case before thee by the opinion my Superiors and Sisters haue of me for they may applaud me and yet it may stand il with me before thee and they may take al in another worser sense then thou knowst I meant it and that iustly and yet it may go wel between thy goodnes and me through thy abound Mercy THE XLIV CONFESSION O How happy are those souls who loue nothing but thee Verily there is so little stability in al things but in thee that it is a strange thing that we should liue so miserable liues thou offering vs a most peaceful and quiet life if we would but seek thee alone who art more present to vs then we are to our selues and by thee our soul doth liue more then our body doth by our soul Those that posses thee haue al things and those who want thee if they had al the world can afford do yet indeed posses nothing If we desire to loue where our loue may not be lost what shall we loue but thee whâ— hast said Sicut dilexit me Pater ego dilexi vos As my Father loued me so haue I loued you Do we not therefor wel deserue to liue in al perplexity and misery if we do not leaue to loue al other things to set our whole loues vpon thee â—ho hast made vs such sweet promises yea let vs hear what thou dost further add Qui maneâ— in me ego in eo hic fert fructum multum Who remaineth in me and I in him bringeth forth much frâ—ict O let me be remain in thee and then let al the world be against me I desir not my God by any particular fauours in this life to be more certain of thee But I do beg of thee that by true Humility Obedience and Patience I may be more confirmed in thee by true loue only in simple faith in al desolations crosses pains disgraces miseries adhering to thee the only desire of my soul and not resting in any gift or grace of thine whatsoeuer that I may at last for thy oâ—n sake find fauour in the eyes of thy Diuine Maiesty notwirhstanding my sins and ignorances in which I haue hetherto liued for whieh thy mercy oâ— forgiuing them me be thou for euer blessed and praised by al thy creatures Amen Amen THE XLV CONFESSION O Lord my God to whom vpon al occasions I most vnworthy with thy leaue presume to speak and ask questions in my simple maner Open the eyes of my soul that I may know and vnderstand thy Wil and Law and Grace to perform them to thine honour Thou my God who art more mine then I am mine own do not reiect me speaking and writing to thee For what do I desir or wish but thee Or what are al things to me without thee Surely nothing For thou hast shewed me through thy sweet mercyâ— and grace without any desert of mine own that al things are vanity but to loue and please thee which I beseech thee that I may do with al the forces of my hart and soul. For truly there is no true peace or comfort out of thee Let me therefor know my-self and know thee that in al I may praise and please thee Amen THE XLVI CONFESSION LORD it is read to day of thee that Saint Mary Magdalen approaching to kis thy feet it would not be admitted her by thee If it may please thee I wil humbly aske of thee the meaning of this For I am somewhat amazed at it For when she came to thy feet loaden with many and greiuous sins thou admittedâ—â— her most easily and when she had a long time been trained vp in thy happy school of Perfection and had accompanied thee in thy Passion and mourned for thee at thy tomb taking no rest til thou her beloued returned to her again and besids she offered to haue taken thee away from al the world if they would haue but told her where they had laid thee and yet dost thou now deny her to touch and kis thy blessed feet What shal we think she loued thee less now then when she first desired to loue thee Or shal we think that as her loue grew more and more to thee thine grew less and less to her No God forbid I should euer admit of such a thought But O my Lord thou being â—isedom it-self intendedst to bring this great and ardent louer to a loue more spiritual then that with which she loued thee when tâ—ou conuersedst with her before thy death and Passion For it is thy custom with great mildnes to receaue sinners and when they grow more strong in loue thou seemest to treat them with more seuerity that they at first may hope in thee and go forward in thy loue and seruice and that after being a litle strengthned with light and comfort from thee thou mayst try them many ways least they should attribut that which they haue done to their own forces and that fauour which they haue receaed to their own labours and deserts which thou knowst we are very apt to do if thou didst not through permitting vs to fal into temptation shew vs our own frailty But this blessed Saint whose intercession I most humbly implore for thy sake whom now none can depriue her of did not think that by denying her to touch tâ—y feet she receaued wrong
thou hast made is good if it be put for that vse â—or which thou madst it Do not we see that euen Spiders and Serpents do draw the venom from the earth both for the purging it and also for a farther vse that man therof maks and yet these to our seeming are of the least worth as to good among thy creatures But it is our mis vsingâ— abusing and mis-applying thy creatures that makes the world turn vpside down The hail thunder storms rain snow did the three Children in the furnace inuite to praise thee as good in themselues being made by thee But nothing is so good in this world but it may be peruerted and abused For if man whose soul was made by thee in such purity by sin becometh so foul how can this choose but breed disorder in the world al things therein being giuen by thee to be disposed by him and vsed by him as â—â—lpâ— to â—â—rue thee while we liue heer But ô my God I wil speak to thee and I wil cal vpon thee who art Wisedâ—m it-self If thou smile at my folly yet behold me sinner and instruct me in thy Law which is sweet aboue al delights of the world and to serue thee for loue is that which I only desire In al my miseries and afflictions of body and soul thou despisâ—st not any soul flying to thee and dilating my-self to thee I do comfort and strengthen my hart which aspireth to nothing as thou knowst by this my speaking to tâ—ee but to ease my soul by begging help of thee and declaring to thee my only friend my sins and miseries For if we fly from tâ—ee whither go we but out oâ— one darknes into another Who can discouer our wounds to vs but thy-fâ—lf who when we acknowledge them dost also cure the languishing diseases of our very souls O in thy light let me see light that so al impâ—diments may be remoued between thy Godnes and my souâ— My â—oul can neuer return to thee til it â—e purged and purifyed by graceâ—nd â—nd Mercy Of my-self I can do nothing Thou therefor that madst and redeemedst me saue me who euery moment should perish if I were not assisted by thee I see nothing or hear any thing but it giueth me new cause to praise thee and to seek thee aboue al gifts graces and creatures Grant me therefor to serue thee in that maner thou wouldst be serued by meâ— For I am not able to do any thing good of my self Let me by Humility and truâ— obedience return to thee from whom for my sins I deserue to be separated with the diuels eternally but thy Mercy which is aboue al thy works pardon me and giue me Grace to liue better heerafter O my God me thinks some times I haue so liuely a feeling of my own nothing and see so plainly that we depend wholy of thy grace and Mercy that I wonder how it is possible I should anâ— more be able to presume of my-self in any thing whatsoeuer But alas this passeth away and like dust carried away with the winde so is my soul with vanity In which my sin and misery I groan to thee from the bottom of my soul who art my helper and my deliuerer from al mine enemies wherof the greatest is my self and to thee I declare my iniquities which are without end or measure to the end I may glorify thee the more who shewest mercy to me and reiectest not the most disloyal of al thy Maiesties seruants For which let heauen and earth praise thee seeing I am not able by any thing to shew gratitude to thee For I caÌ„ do nothing but declare thy Mercy and beseech thysâ—lf to supply my defect in praising thee For thou only canst do it as I desire it should be done The very Seraphins are too short of being able according to thy worth to praise thee and al thy Angels and â—aints accompt themselues as dumb in comparison of thy deserts from them For al thy sweet Mercy be thou thereâ— for by al not as able but as willing to praise tâ—ee magnifyed for euer and euer Amen THE XLII CONFESSION O My Lord and my God If none haue much forgiuen them but those that loue much what wil become of me This day we read in our Office that Saint Marie Magdalen coming to thy feet which she watered with her reares heard that comfortable answer from thee to wit Go in peace thy sinnes are forgiuen thee but it was out of this regard that she loued much This answer thou madst to her whose hart in silence spoak vnto thee doth much comfort my sinful soul. But yet when I remember how void I am of that which was the necessary disposition for her soul to hear those comfortable words thy sins are forgiuen thee go in peace it draweth teares â—rom mine eyes to see how far my soul is destitute of that pure loue which preuaileth with thy diuine Maiesty What shal I say What shal I do Or wherein shal I hope I am not fit to plead for my-self my sinnes indeed are so many and so great and as for the loue which only thou desirest behold my soul is destitute of it For if I haue any towards thee my God it is but a sensible childish loue which is a loue little beseeming the bestowing vpon such a God who is al Good Beawty Wisedom yea euen Goodnes and Loue it-self to whom is due a loue which is able to suffer al things for this loue is a strong loue more strong then death it-self the which kind of loue is far from me who am blown down with the least blast of temptation and cannot endure any disgrace desolation or difficulty whatsoeuer as it beseems a true louer of his But notwithstanding my poueâ—ty and misery yet I wil hope in him and wil approach to his feet who is Mercy itself There my Lord and my God I wil in filence sigh and weep both for my sinnes and for my defect in louing thee who art worthy of al loue and Praise whatsoeuer There I wil beg this loue so much to be desired There I wil wish and long for itâ— and from thy feet I wil not depart til thou denounce to me thy sins are forgiuen thee and saiest to my soul go in peace This voice I long to hear in my hart that I may with the voice of exaltation praise thee for euer Amen THE LIII CONFESSION AMen Amen dico vobis quia receperunt mercedem suam Math. 6. Amen Amen I say â—nto you they haue receiued their reward These thy words my Lord and my God come into my mind so often as my thoughts dare to think of hauing deserued any reward at tâ—y hands and serue as a motiue to subiect my soul totally to thy diuine Maiesty before whom now I do professe and acknowledg that my desirs and endeauours are so defectiue in comparison of what is to thee due from me that I may and
dust and ashes which is blown awâ—y with euery wind and hath no stability in it but so far as it is holpen by thy meere Mercy What flesh dareâ—h glory in itself or presume it is able to do any good Verily my God if I had most couragiously vndergon al the temptations miseries and afflictions that haue been or euer shal be by al thy seruants together I ought not to think my-self able to suffer the least that can be imagined as of my-self but iustly ought to feare mine own frailty Let them that glory therefor glory in thee and not in themselues O that some little spark of that true light which true Humility causeth would enter into my soul and neuer depart out of it til I were wholy trasformed into that loue which giueth thee al and it-self nothing sauing its own defectuousnes Thou only art Iust thou only Holy and I the most vile and contemptible of al thy creatutes in thine eyes who discerneth most cleerly how it stands with me for my pride and other my abominable sinnes Wash me in thy Bloud and I shal yet become whiter then snow What would it auaile me if I were neuer so great in the eyes of men yea euen as great as I most vnworthy am in mine own Could they saue me or iustify me in thy sight Is it not affirmed by the Spirit of al Truth Vanitas omnis homo viuens Al liuing man is vanity without any exception of persons Verily my God we are indeed but as we are in thy sight who iudgest according to the Humility of our hart which is hidden from the sense of man Man may iudg that to be Humility which indeed is pride and there is no pride so great as that which clotheth it-self vnder he colour of Humility but thou canst not be deceaued by any O happy soul that only desireth thee to be a witnes of her desirs endeauours and intentions Happy they that are approued by thee my God though heâ—r they be despised neglected and contemned by the whole world With what face can my soul tel my God I desire to loue him if I do it not more willingly then I do vndergo the hard censures of men Shal I desire that which I do or say may be wel thought of by others since my God him-self was thought to do al he did in the power of Beelzebub Shal she who hath done nothing that is good be in esteeme when as her beloued who is goodnes and Iustice it-self was despised and contemned O my God far be this disloyalty from my hart Let me suffer for my sinnes that I may become pleasing in thy sight which is al my soul desireth O my God when shal I find and possesse thee in the bottom of my soul When shal the eyes of my body be so closed from beholding al vanity that the eyes of my soul may be cleered by thee to the discerning of truth Truly thou art a hidden God and none can walk in thy light but the peaceful Humble patient and clean of hart O if we did but once see in thy light of truth how little we are able to do or suffer of our selues we would tremble to think we were able to do any thing that were good or to attribute any thing to our own endeauours Nisi Dominus aedificauerit domum in vanum laborauerunt qui aedificant eam Nisi Dominus custodierit ciuitaetem fruâ—tra vigilat qui custodit eam Vnles God build the house in vaine do they laâ—our who build it Vnles God guard the City in vaine do they watch who guard it It is in vaine for you to rise before light O light shine in my soul and let not the darknes of mine own ignorance ouerwhelme me any longer Let my soul loue that it may liue in and to thee alone my Lord God VVhen wilt thou giue me the graâ—e of true Humility which is so much spoken of and so hard to be known what it is indeed O we can neuer while we lâ—ue in this world be secure from falling into the cursed sin of pride which maketh souls more odious to thee then any oâ—her sin whatsoeuer O my God helpe me out of this snare which laieth open the way to al other sinnes O who dare though hee had been rapt into the third Heauens with S. Paul attribute any gift or grace to his owne desert What haue we that we haue not receaued and if we haue â—eceaued it wherof should we glory O how soone do we loose the the labour of many years in one moment by pride God protecteth vs and directeth vs if we remain humble but in our pride he leaueth vs to our selues til we see and feele to our cost our own weaknes and misery O how plaine doth it appeare to those who are now secure for al eternity in thy Heauenly Kingdom that if thou hadst with drawn thy grace from them while they liued heer their case would haue been most miserable O how far are they from attributing any thing to their own metits saue so far as they were meerly enabled therto by thy grace And how far short do they esteeme their deserts to be of the Glory and Honour they receaue from thy Merciful and bountiful hand What pains what labours what suffering of disgraces can deserue to enioy thee and see theeâ—ace â—ace to face â—or euer and euer Certainly those who enioy this happines haue receaued it by the merits of thy most bitter death and Passion which God graunt may bring me wretch also to Saluation Amen O Loue loue loue when shall nothing els liue in me but thy true loue my God how long shal I remaine deuided from thee When shal I by pure and perfect loue be vnited to my God al impediments being remoued When shal no created thing be able to diuert my soul from attending to my Lord God When shal I be able to suffer without offending my God or being weary thereof O how little true peace doth that soul enioy who careth for the praises of men or feareth their dispraises Nothing more slippery nothing more vnconstant nothing more vncertain then the fauour or friendship of man who to day wil be thy friend and extol thee to the skies to morrow none wil haue thee lesse in esteeme then he and what a misery then is it to place happines or security in the fauour of man And this ô my soul thy God permits thee to see to the end thou shouldst adhere to him alone and not to that which is subiect to fail Desire the friendship of God alone and then his friends both in Heauen and earth shal be ready to serue thee for thy aduancement in his loue and seruice What can any man diminish of thy good by his speaking or thinking il of thee Or what can he add to thee indeed by highly esteeming of thee Remember that al Praise is due vnto God but to thee confusion of face
say of him Yet it hath pleased God to honour him so much as to haue him euen in a publick instrument which I haue heard read couertly pointed at taxed and accused of this maner of proceeding They taking for their ground the impeâ—fections of some through meere frailty committed in this kind As also becaus some who are of other wayes and vnderstand not this affirme it may be inferred out of his books that subiects in what they pretend to haue a diuine cal to may resist contradict and disobey Superiors VVhich that it may be inferred I cannot deny â—ince a meaner wit then he that affiâ—meth this may draw strange consequences out of any booke in the howse if he wil looke vpon them with no other intention but to carpe But if they wil taâ—e one place with another and consider what we beleeue and practise also according to our impâ—rfection and fraâ—lty they wil see and find in practise the quite contrary And what was allowed by Fa. Baker concerning shifting to get time and meanes for ouâ— prayer was but in case that Superâ—ors did account it but an vnprofitable exercise VVhich was the only thing I haue oâ—ten heard him affirme in which he would euer allow a soul to deale in any shifting maner with their Superiors vnder what pretence soeuer And this in it-self was neuer held to be a sinne but an imperfection which he also thâ—ught it to be But this râ—ason for his as it were winking at their imperfection was to make souls that were apt for praier to make the hâ—gher esteeme â—hereof and perceiue the necessity of prosecuting it daily and diligently too if they euer desired to arriue to any perfect degree in the loue of God VVhich esteeme if it had not bâ— such meanes been brought into the howse It would haue been hard for â—im to haue made a soul beleeue and acknowledg the necessity and nobility of it For it may be practised by some a long tâ—me before they find any extraordinary benefit by it and til they find the effect of it in their owne souls they may be apt to neglect and make no esteeme of it in these days when al most euery one of esteeme inuaigh against it as the most dangerous or vnprofitable exercise in the world For some hold one of these opinions and somo hold the other to wit Some hold it only vnâ—rofitable Others say it is very profitable if one could auoid the perils of it which yet in women they hold a thing almost impossible VVhich opinion of the two I most feared because those that hold it pretend by their obiection to haue some experience in a spiritual life And therefor their words are the apter to make in a soul the greater impression but as for the former it plainly sheweth a meere ignorance in the affirmers To by carryed away therefor with this opinion and errour of the dangerousnes of a spiritual life Is that which by these writings I intended and desired to auoid by the helpe and Grace of Almighty God And therefor when I was cleare and not obscured with feare which I am very subiect to I set down these things to be a helpe and comfort to me amâ—dst the oppositions to that which I haue found and experienced so proper and good for me VVhich yet whether it be or no my Superiors wil be better able to iudg seeing not only what I beleeue in al and my opinion in these things they so much feare our errour in but also my practise in a particular manner Now as for the shifting about our Prayer which is the cheif ground of the forsaid publick instrument before mentioned that wholy tendeth supposing our beleif and practise to be according to the disgrace of those who are in that cours of prayer and to affright those who come after from following their aduise in any thing They being there painted out in plaine tearmes to be enemies to the gouuernment of Superiors as hauing had their instructions by a strange and indirect way and meanes I say for al that hath been faid in this kind of following our prayer come on it what wil through opposition of Superiors I dare affirme that opinion of Fa. Bakers hath to vs been recalled by him long before the publishing of the instrument For it was only for an entrance uot for a continuance since a soul wel setled in prayer would not need it-though at first for foure or fiue years a soul by being hindred from two serious recollections in a day by her Superiors would haue perhaps been in great danger of inconueniency to her progres and also neuer haue been able to haue obeyed â—s she should VVhich is a certain effect of a truely prosecuted course of prayer â— supposing it be one who is fit for it â—or otherwise it may be very conuenient â—or her to be put into some other cours more proper for her and if she resist Supuriors in it she wil be in danger of great inconuenience if not errours by her misvnderstanding and mis-applying that which was not for her turn and this we haue in this very howse seen and known which if by vntimely hindring a soul apt for it a Superior procureâ— he wil also incurre an inconueniency though not so great as hers VVhich is that she who would by prosecuting discreatly a course of Mental praâ—er haue become subiect if it were necessary euen to a very dâ—gg becometh for want of that strength and helpe which therein shee got to be almost impossible to be ruled by the wisest man in the world For liuing in Religion as I can speake by experience if one be not in a right course between God and our soul Ones nature growes much worse then euer it would haue been if they had liued in the word For Pride and self loue which are â—ooted in our soul by sin findeth meanes to strengthen themselues exceedingly in one in Religion if she be not in a course that may teaâ—h her and procure her true Humility For by â—he corrections and contradictions which cannot be auoided by any liuing in a Religious community I found my hart â—rown as I maâ— say as hard as a stone and nothing could haue been able to haue mollified it but by being â—ut into a course of prayer by which a soul tendeth towards God and learneth of him the true lesson of humbling her-self VVhich effect I finding by following Father Bakers plaine simpleâ— easy and sweet instructions I was loath to change them for them I could not vnderstand Aâ—d for this reason by al the meanesâ— could imaginâ— I haue endeauoured to strengthen my-selâ— by writing gathering and thus as iâ— some part of my papers iâ— wil appeare addressing my speach to our Lord. This way iâ— so plaine and easy that aâ— long as the souâ— holdâ—th Humilitâ— it is impossible for her tâ— erre to her great incoÌ„ueniency at least in hâ— main point which â—s the loue of God For
iâ— less imports for smaler sins her imâ—erfectioÌ„s and errors or bangors â— speaking of sucâ— as are accounted such by some precise anâ— exact persons as to ouershoot herself iâ— that in which another would haue câ—mâ— off with honour or some such point nâ— way greatly to the purpose as to any hinderance to her course Yea by these things I say she rather gaineth then looseth since many timeâ— they are a great occasion of Humility to her soul which much aduanceth her and is aboue al cheifly necessary for her For loue to God and true Humility increase the one the other and are inseparable companions In fine as to the point of following Prayer when the Superior as that time would otherwise imploy her which I was speaking of before I say that after the soul hath been some gooâ— space practâ—sed in that exercise The Superiors cannot hinder her in it by imposing that which to them seemeth fit And the sâ—ul wâ—l haue no desire to resist them neither can shee do it without a check from God Almigâ—ty For no implâ—ymâ—nts which Religious women haue in Religion can hâ—nder them after they haue had a good entrance that the Superiors can impose vpon theâ— for if they pray not aâ— one time thy can easily pray at another or best of al pray with the work it-self and make the work their prayer This therefor being so that Fa Baker did this at fiâ—st but as a shift in the beginning there is no iust caus to find such fault with it he doing it for these two reaâ—â—ns First becaus some cheife Superiors had so poor an opinion of Prayer that they thought they did God good seruice when they hindered them who seeme to make esteem of it The other reason becaus thoâ—e he gaue his instructions to and seemed to him most fit for them were likly to come into place of Authority and thereby were not only themselues to suffer much by the continual opposiâ—ions they were like to find but also were to beare a great part of the others Burdens which were more feareful and had been a lesser time practised in the course who yet were likely if they were encouraged to prosper very wel in a spiritual and internal life These two were I say in part his reasons which made him go so far in this point And yet we that had these instructioÌ„s deliuered by him had them with such circumstances that we could not possibly take liberty in any thing that was contrary to our Superiours minds by his Books or words And verily I may with a safe conscience affirme that if I would neuer so fain I could not find any thing in his bookes nor in any of this iâ—structions on which I could ground my-self without a check in my conscience for doing the instructions wrongs to neglect omit shift of or sheightly to performe any thing of my Superiors commanding or ordaining Nor could I euer inferre any thing out of them but that they tende only and wholy to humble the soul and vrge her to seek desire and rest in God alone And this I dare affirme vnder al the Oaths in the world if Iustice by lawful authority should exact the same of me For not any book which he hat writ hath euer tended to any thing els then that we should liue with al submission and subiection to God and our Superiors And if he had taught â—he contrary an extraordinary effect of it would haue appeared in vs before now we hauing been dealt with being our-â—elues in authority as we haue been And â—ndeed in such maner that no humain inâ—tructions could haue inabled vs quietly to â—aue supported the same The grace of God only and tending to him by the way â—f loue could do it which so humbleth the soul that no difficulty or disgrace can haâ—pen which she expecteth not and â—herefor is abled willingly to embrace the â—â—me Verily I can affirme this by mine own experience that a crosse word or a slight reprehension befoâ—e I was in this course was more insupportable to me and did more disquiet my mind then al the diffiâ—ulties and disgraces which haue faln vpon me since haue done For now me thinks though I be neglected by the whole world By flying to our Lord he easeth me of al my burthen And as I haue desired to haue no friend or comfort but him so it pleaseth him neither in doubts feares payns disgraces nor any other miseries whereunto this life of ours is so subiect to reject me Only he exacts of me that in al the conâ—radictions he sends me I humble my-self and be confident of his help which if I do so I shal be much more sure then iâ— in mine own handsâ— had a most absolute power to help my-self And this humble confidence maketh ones way so cleare that the soul hath few or no questions in many years though they haue such very neere that are neuer so wel able to resolue themâ— This want oâ— questions is almost al the ground of difficulty between these souls and the Confessor who thinks himself neglected tâ— haue souls haue no more buâ—ines with hiâ— then in meere confâ—ssion But I know noâ— how the souls can â—elpe it though thereâ—by they should offend the whole world It seemeth to some a great presumptionâ— that the soul seemeth â—o think her-self fâ—â— to guide her-self and alâ—o by it they inâ—ferre that she sleighteth others though heâ— Superiors as not fit to gouern her so ignorant do they think shee doth esteem them But God and her own conscience knoweth that none of these things are the cause of her being so reserued as indeed she is vnles she be asked by them which if she be they wil see that she doth not in any kind sleight or neglect them yet in speaking she vseth discretion where and to whom for one Superior may be fit to be treated with in one point and another in another which none can iudge or tearme a breach of Obedience and yet this is the furthest that euer Fa. Baker taught And who would not think it a meere folly if I out of pretence of Obedience and greater Perfection should treat with one in matter of conscience in which I were doubtful who had such diâ—â—iculty with me in his naâ—ure that he were as little able to iudg in my case as I were in mine own For my part our Congregation giuing leaue for it and wanting those who are able to iudg aright in my case as wel as in others I should do not only my-self an iniury thus foolisâ—ly to go to work but also him whom I should thus treat with vpon these tearmes VVhich foolish proceedding is not a proper effect of true Obedience but rather a phansy and meere folly O how far is it then from Fa. Bakers meaning to teach or allow of any thing which may sauour of disobedience It is true that that which those tearm Obedience who draw it to nothing but
Obedience by a certain persons means is much feared in vs by our Fathers And that is that we sleight neglect and contemne al books and instructions but Fa. Bakers VVhich is as God knows quite otherwise For though as may be gathered by what I haue heere collected and noted I do arme my-self by al the means I can imagin against those Obiections which are made by those of contrary ways that I may hold on my way which seemes to be so proper and fit for my desired estate which I haue taken vpon me by my profession I haue no reason to alter for ways I am not able to vnderstand my conscience being â—atisfied with this I am in and my Supeâ—iors neuer yet condemning the same Yet â—s I say I am far from sleighting other instructions but hold they are very good for â—hem for whom they may be proper which they do not seeme for me Because the more I read or hear of them the more confusedâ— without coherence they seeme to be Foâ— I find nothing but saying and vnsaying as iâ— seemes to me as in one place vrging mosâ— vehemently the necessity of mental prayerâ— and in twenty other places making it a mosâ— impossible thing to giue ones self to prayeâ— without more endangering our saluation then before And where they treat of Obedience they treat of as it seemes to me in such maâ—ner that it is almost impossible to find ouâ— how or which way one may performe 〈◊〉 in any certain or quiet maner But thâ— more they speak of it the more impossiblâ— thing they seeme to make it And verilyâ— could neuer put it together to make otheâ— sense of it do what I â—an then to draw iâ— to this as they expres it that it is a moâ—â— seruil thing and much like that where witâ— sâ—ruants are subiect for fifty shillings a yeâ— in the world and no further effect coulâ— come to me by the practise of it as thâ—â— seem to meane as to any true knowledâ—â— of God or my-self then would haue comâ— by my being a seruant in the world onâ—â— forsooth by reason it is performed by vs iâ— vertue of our vow of Obedience whicâ— makes them acts of greater perfection anâ— consequently of much more merit But thâ—â— is a subtile point fitter to be disputed then nâ—eessary to be beleeued For I know and that by experience that it is possible to comply with our external Obediences and performe them so that the Superior shal haue one in good esteem and be able to discouer no great defect in our performaÌ„ce of them And yet thâ— soul as far from knowing what true obedience is as she was when she came into Religion performing them al that while but in a natural maner of which proceeding nothing can be expected but a natural effect Pride and disobâ—dience encreasing daily in the soul which is an entrance if God preuent it not to vnspeakable inconuenience But yet though I could draw no sure and solid ground for a soul by Obedience according to such instructions yet the defect may be in me as to those ways and not in the instructions For some haue affirmed they find much good by them of which I am exceeding glad For so souls may liue Quietly Obediently and Humbly in the howse it is al one to me by what meanâ—s or by whom God Almighty doth it And there are some in the howse that I should aduâ—se rather to read such instructions then Fa. Bâ—kers if I were worthy to giue aduise And this I would do if they weâ—e both priuate men but much more now these instructions are deliuered by the Confessor whose place deserueth an extraordinary respect which to my powre shal euer be giuen him or any other in his place whosoeuer he be But yet I must needs say that of al in this howse I could neuer see but one who could discourse and distinguish his points in and of Obedience and draw out of them a setled quiet and satisfactory course but that when he is gone they be as far to seeke as they were before in the vnderstanding of it For another wil expres it in another maner and so vnder al while they liue they must as it were begin again This therefor was that which made me so affect F. Bakers instructions at first when he deliuered them because I saw they were grounded vpon God not vpon him who could neuer fail whatsoeuer became of him And by this regarding God in al and doing al out of Obedience to him our soul becometh so humble that it liueth in a maner as subiect to al she liueth with as any one can be to any Superior in the world She troubleth not her head disputing how which way and in what maner she shal obey in this or that but she simply obeys in al as far as her frailâ—y wil permit and as willingly would she be the most abiect and most neglected in the howse as euer she was willing to do any thing in al her life For hauing recours to God maketh her insensible to those things so fat as may stand with flesh and blood And God doth send and giue a soul that seeketh nothing but sincearly to loue and please him such occasions to humble herself which to none can be seene becaus the knowledge and cause is wholy within herself that it is of more force to humble her then her being neglected of al the world would be though that be also a great help and a great fauour of God For her soul can neuer be pure and free for the ascending to the praise of God til it be very humble which the more a sonl endeauoureth to be the more Peace doth she enioy and the freer accesse doth she find to God and the lesse impediments between him and her soul. For this true Humility and Obedieuce to God which Fa. Baker doth so vrge a soul to in al his Words and Books is an immediate disposition to that which S. Paul wished to vs. VVhich is that our conuersation may be in Heauen And neuer was there such perceptible friendship loue and correspondence beâ—ween any in this world how great soeuer their loue might seeme as there is between those souls and our Lorâ— and his Angels and Saints in Heauen VVhich though it be not so perceiuable to sense as the other which is founded vpon that alone yet by Faith and loue the soul doth more plainly and certainly enioy it then we can be certain of any thing which with our coâ—poral eyes may be seen and such a confidence doth accompany his loue that she desireth not to be more certain of any thing She can wish then that she dependeth wholy of her God alone whose wil is aboue al mast deare to her and to whom she often cryeth out in her soul with the glorious S. Augustin saying That al that aboundance that is not her vâ—ry God him-sâ—lf is to her but extreame penury And therefor she
instructions aright 3. Thirdly a great couradg to withstand al temptations come they from within or without that might draw her into multiplicity from simplicity especiâ—lly seare wâ—â—h soon draweth one into the most pestilent multipliciâ—y that is maketh one more blind euery day then other and consequently into more dâ—ffidence whereby they are made almost wholy incapable of conuersing with God vnles God shew them their errors and they begin again which is a hard matter to do if a soul haue once lost her light which God I beseech him deliuer al capable souls from doing For it is the greatest ingratitude that can be offered to God and none but God can tel the miseries perplexities and difficulties that attend on such a soul al the days of her life as Saint Angela doth testify with terrible words 4. Fourtly there is necessary in the soul a good and right iudgment for the vnderstanding of things a right For els the soul wil erroneously vnderstaÌ„d al things though neuer so plain The more she knows the farther she is to seek and the more errors she falleth into And better it were if such souls could be known which is almost impossible til they haue had some knowledg of a spiritual life for many times they seeme to haue a greater aptnes then the most capable souls and a greater inclination towards God then others and yet run into errour and are in danger do what they can that hâ—ue the care of them to breaks their brayns or ouerthrow their bodys that they neuer had spiritual instructions further then for the Actiue life 5. Fiftly a great capacity of tending towards God by the exercise of the wil which being prosecuted together with true mortification of themselues wil bringâ— saith Blosius to a mystick Vnion and â—perfection in time conuenient Of those that haue al these conditions there are yet great difference for some haue more aptnes and find les impediments then others and some haue more light and others les as it pleaseth God Yet those that are most bumble and faithful to him though they seeme les cleare are the most pleasing to God who be blessed by al. Amen The Obseruing of the diuine cal which indeed should be and is the very life of a spiritual life Is by most spiritual Maisters now a days turned into a scorn or scoff And therefor no meruail that true spirituality should in these dayes be so rare and almost vnknown Nay if a soul giue but her-self to prayer she shal haue an hundred enemies one obiecting against one point another against another of her proceedings Euery one according to their spirit and humour desiring to reforme her in they know not what themselues which if she be moued with no other effect is like to come of it then happened to the Painter who altered his work so long and often that at last it had neither forme nor fashion And al other that had procured this alteration in the picture which at first was a very good one called the workman fool for his labour The Application whereof is very plain and proper to our purpose 1. First There is difference between Vnity and Vnion for as Vnity is but one thing so vnion is a coupling together at last of two things 2. Secondly simplâ—city is a singlenes or being alone and simple is single that is a thing alone And therefor simple or singleâ— and one or simplicity and vnity is but the self same thing 3. Thirdly multiplicity is a many foldnes of things and two or more diuer things do make a multiplicity but one thingâ— les then two wil not make a multiplicity God and a creature both though of together as distinct things are a multiplicity not becaus the apprehension of Goâ— being apprehended but accoâ—ding to Faitâ— but becaus of the thinking of the creature not as in God for then it would caus no multiplicity is a thing distinct from God and a creature alone thought of without any apprehension withal of God if it be not to be tearmed multiplicity which it is in the takings of mystick Authours yet is it not most certainly the simplicity in soul that is required for vnion with God 4. Fourtly God is but one rhing or an Vnity simplicity or a singlenes For though al things and al diuersity of things be indeed in God yet they are al of them but one thing in him Yea whatsoeuer thing or things be in him they are God himself God was and is that one thing which our Sauiour defending S. Mary Magdelen said to be only necessary The imperfect Contemplatiue spirits who commonly in their external businesses are in their interior ful of multiplicity do yet for al that when their businesses are lâ—id aside and they betake themselues to their recollection at the season proper for itâ— in regard they haue as it were a natural and habitual propension towards God and his immediate presence with a loathing or at least neglect or disesteeme of al creatures as to any affection to them easily surmont al multiplicity of images that could be occasioned by their precedent imployments wherin their souls had neuer fixed their loue as who were not nor could be satified or much delighted with them Al the spiritual men in the world are not able by their instructions to make another that yet of herself it most apt â—or it to become truly spiritual without the schollar herself do withal carefully obserue and pursue the foresaid Lghts and Cals as her primum mobile or first mouerâ— And to sayâ— Takâ— al your instructions from without is al one in effect as to say Tend not to Contemplation For God and none but He is the true and immediate Teacher and Directour in the most obscure and supernatural way of Contemplation Yet here â— would be vnderstood that vnder these tearmes of diuine interior Lights Motions and Cals which I take to be the roâ—t and cause of al her true Obediences and other good needs I intend and comprrhend al Cals through other obligations as when thâ—y are otherwise commandeâ— by the vniuersal diuine Law natural oâ— positiue by the Church or o her humaâ— Law or by the wils of Superiors And â— true spiritual Man should do nothing buâ— out of the said root or cause which is thâ— diuine Cal. A supernatural Discretion is miparted bâ— God to a welminded soul that disposetâ— her-self for it which dispositâ—on consisteth â—hiefly in the vse of abstraction and praier This is the light by which God guideth â—ouls which he leadeth to Contemplation â—nd thereby teacheth them what is necessary for them to know or do externally or internally so far as conduceth to the â—aid end Simple and vnlearned souls by â—he said light come to find out those internal ways most obscure of themselues which no man though neuer so learned â—nd acutely witted can discerne or find â—ut of himself The most spiritual man in the world cannot instil
this light into another Al he can do is exteriorly to teach a soul how to dispose her-self for it And as a soul that hath neuer so great a capacity for it speaking ordinarily cannot find it out without the help of some experienced person so one that hath no aptnes for it al the teachers in the world cannot put it into her And those that haue the aptnes can neuer find true comfort and satisfactâ—on but in conâ—emplatiue instructions and being once wel instructed wil find al things preach them to her in their kind nor wil she vnderstand any thing she reads or hears but in that sâ—nse if it be to any purpose Finding that to be her only secure way and al things to helpe her thereunto if it be not her own fault how much soeuer the fore mentioned medlers mislik of her proceedings and misinterpret them So one that hath not that aptnes wil misvnderstand al or most of those instructions and wonder how they can be practised without falling into this or that error and taking this or that liberty by them thus measuring others by their own vnderstanding of things This was always thus and euer wil be be the persons neuer so holy God permitting it for the exercise of both I mean only amongst women for men though they should be defectiue in practise yet they haue it by speculation if they be schollers And verily I am of Saint Teresaes minâ— that learned men are not so apt to put souâ— out of their way as the vnlearned areâ— For if the vnlearned be spiritual and noâ— truely spiritual it is ineredible the Martyrdome that a Contemâ—latiue soul hath tâ— vndergo being vnder his chardge and young miracle it wil be for her if she haâ— not many to encourage her to hold tâ— the instructions proper for her and which only she can prosper and out oâ— which if he should put her he would bâ— the first but only her-self that would bâ— weary of her But if she hold patience â—â— wil faire with her as it did with S. Maâ—â— Magdalene that our Sauiour wil answâ—â— â—or her as far as it is conuenient for her â—btayning the best part which shal neuer â—e taeken from her Nothing is more improper for a Conâ—emplatiue soul then to contend comâ—lain or iustify herself al her remedy for â—he most part being to come from Silence Prtience Humility and Resignation I except where iustice doth require a simple reâ—â—tion of the Truth to Superiors when the â—ood of her own or other souls in the â—owse requires it And that she must neuer do suddenly or out of passion or auersiâ—n but it behoueth her to consult the matter often and seriously with our Lord and in the meane time to behaue her-self humbly to the party or parties and do them both with God and man al offices of true charity she can The supernatural light or discretion is to be nourrished and encreased by al the external helps that can be afforded And great heed is to be taken that it be not obscured or destroyed as God knows it may easily be if we look not wel about vs. And the least mote of darknes defeats the whole sight God permitting it for our â—â—nnes and negligences when it happeâ—eth This light is commonly neuer giuen but where the internal senses are naturally adapted and made proper for the receiuing anâ— vsing of it And therefor extrauagant imagiâ—nations though otherwise neuer so deuouâ— or of neuer so retired natures are vncapablâ— of it yea are in manifest peril to mistakeâ— at least of making right of vse of it misapâ—ply and misvnderstand to their greâ—â— preiudice and others great inconuenieâ—â—ce and trouble this doctrine of the diuiâ—â— Câ—l And better it were if it were posâ—â—â—ble that such souls should neuer so muâ—â— as heare of the diuine cal This confirmes that old prouerbe whicâ— sayeth one mans meat is another mans peâ—â—son and so it is in this For a soul truly aâ—â— for Contemplatiue instructons can nâ—â—uer find any solidity or certainty in aâ—â— other thing then this of obseruing of 〈◊〉 diuine cal in al things and finds that it 〈◊〉 at hand at al times and al occasions to â—â— her guide and directrix such a capaciâ—â— is there in our soul to haue relation to Gâ—â— in al cases and in particular it is necessaâ—â— in doubtful cases For where he determâ—â—neth â—t by Obedience or necessity it weâ—â— to tempt him to desire Him otherwise 〈◊〉 declare his â—il to vs so as I say that 〈◊〉 the soul can find no comfort or certainâ— in any other instructions so on the otheâ— sid nothing is more perillous to be miâ—â—vnderstood by those that haue not an apâ—â—â—es for a Contemplatiue life or the interâ—al exercise thereof though otherwise neâ—er so good souls and of neuer so good â—eaning None are capable of rightly vnderstanâ—ing and practising this instruction of the â—iuine cal but they who are resolued to â—eny themselues in al things and who â—ittingly and willingly adhere to no creaâ—â—d thiug for if the so I do willingly reâ—â—in an affection to any thing she is at a â—op and can go no further For God must â—e sought and loued wholy if we desire â—nd endeauour to arriue to perfection This obseruing the diuine cal was that suâ—â—â—ly which S. Augustin speaketh of in his â—onfessions where he lamenteth his case â—f darknes and blindnes before he had â—â—uen himself wholy and seriously to the â—â—â—uice of God and to obseruing and liuâ—â—g according to his Iustice. These are his â—ords And I was not then acquainted with â—â—at true interior Iustice which iudgeth not by â—â—stome but by the most righteous law of Alâ—ighty God And certainly the better disâ—â—sition the soul is in of liuing and walkâ—â—g in this light and according to this Iuâ—â—â—ce the better wil she prosper in a spiriâ—â—al life and the more cleare wil her way 〈◊〉 and the les peril of erring for it is the â—ay of Humility And noâ—e but the hmuble can walk in this light long or find aâ—â— gust therein They wil either leaue the light or tâ—â— light wil worthily leaue them if euer theâ— had it Thaulerus saith that God rewardeth 〈◊〉 works but his own the purer our inteâ—â—tion is in doing suffering or forbearing tâ—â— more is it His own and the more perfeâ—â—â—ly a soul complieth with her duty to waâ—â— God in that maner that he exacteth of hâ—â— and is proper to her state and the graâ—â— giuen her the more she pleaseth God Aâ—â— in this respect it is truely said that Obâ—â—â—â—ence is better then Sacrifice for we do neâ—â— fo much if it be not that and in that mâ—â—ner God requireth it of vs we shal 〈◊〉 in blindnes and find no peace in our soâ—â— for God hath ordained a certain way 〈◊〉 means for euery soul for her walkinâ— and profiting in the way of Perfectioâ—â— And in that only wil they find their pâ—â—â—gres to consist to obserue
extreame yet she growes but by this into fauour with Superiors and into credit with those with whom she liues into a certain natural perfection of mortification which little benefitteth her soul and for which if she look not wel about her she wil receiue her reward in this life to wit by satisfying and contenting her-self with the good liking and applause of her Superiors and companions and thinking that if she can please them she dischargeth her duty to God as to her obligation of tending to perfection But if there weâ—e to be no other effect of al our mortifications and abstractions and other Obediences in Religion I should say Wo is me that I was Religious But to this may be answered that by our vowes and vertue of our profession we haue a double merit for al that we do whereas if we were not Religious we should haue but a single reward and this the Church by her powre and the superaboundance of the merits of our Sauiour of which she hath the distribution by way of Indulgence or by vertue of vows made by souls that are in the fauour and grace of God and consequently her deare children imparteth to vs that are Relâ—gious But tâ— this I reply that if this were sufficient the world would neuer haue been fuller of Sâ—ints then now for there were neuer more Religious and yet none wil deny that the world was euer so without Saints as it is at this day since Christs time Which playnly sheweth that there is to be some other disposition in the soul for her aduancing by the exercises of Religion And that the hauing made the Profession and liuing laudably therin in the sight of others is not sufficient for her before God nor the pretended examples of former times nor that blind Obedience which is so much extolled and commended by al to be exacted in perfection of her before she haue found good entrance into her interior by prayer and abstraction and can regard God in that which is to be performed by her and by the good disposition that is in her soâ—l turn it to good and not to the obscuring of her soul. For otherwise it wil be blinde Obedienee indeed and obscure her soul so that she can neither perform that nor any thing els as God doth require she should which if she do not it wil little auail her that others like of it By which you see that only liuing in Religion and pleasing our Superiors wil not aduance vs in the way of perfection nor practising a blind Obedience which hath in it neither reason nor discretion and presuming to practise vertues in perfection before we are come to any perfection is to break our necks for euer coming to perfection Can a soul of a years standing in Religion take vpon her to be come to Abrahams perfection surely if she do I should hardly expect to see God prosper that her presumption with an Abrahams reward It is plain therefor that we may very abâ—urdâ—ly oftentimes apply the examples of Saints to our poor imperfect case and get little by it Yet this is not to disapproue of a souls prompt Obedience for that is most laudable And those souls who are in a contemplatiue course and end eauour nothing buâ— by â—ntring into their interior to be able to regard God and his wil or cal in euery thing they do or omit wil grow more obedient â—ubmissiue euery day then other and perform that which is said that they should be subiect to enery liuing creature for God VVhich those other hasty and inconsiderat persons who wil practâ—se euery thâ—ng presently in its perfection wil neuer arriue to but rather for their hastines if there natures be not the better they wil be found more stubborne rebellious and more hard to be ruled fiften or twenty years after their coming into Religion then they were the first day And then they wil looke for these and these priuiledges their Antiquity forsooth must be respected they must be exempted from ptostrations and if they haue behaued themselues more submissiuely and obediently then others though it were but meerely out of the quietnes of their natures they must be obserued respected and preferred in Office before al others or els they haue infinit wrong and they pretend if they be neglected it wil be a caus of others lesse Obedience and respect to Superiors who they say wil rather prefer others that wil not take it wel to be thus humbled then one who may be made a fool of as I haue been al this while and it seems euer shal be Had not Superiors better wink at a little want of too much forwardnes in an imperfect soul who doth it meerely out of consideration of her own frailty and that she may not obscure or put out that little light which by much labour care and industry she hath through Gods grace and assistance gotten in her soul for the finding out and walking in the way of perfection and contemplation Yes certainly it were far better for Superiors to passe ouer some sleight imperfections which haue no sin in them in a sâ—ul who seriously laboureth for perfection For such a â—oul wil giue as it is giuen her that is to say that as God of his mercy and godnes by her conuersing with hâ—m by her suffring that he layes vpon her with the best resignation she can and by obseruing the diuine cal and wil and liuing according to the Iustice of God shal strenghten her soul and purify it in his loue and so much the more prompt and ready to obey wil she be and giue euery day more and more respect to Superiors And there is one thing in this vertue of Obedâ—ence principally to be obserued and practised to make it pleasing to God and an aduancement to the soul and that is that the thing commanded and done be according to the Iustice of God But to this may or wil be answered that al that is not a sin if it be commanded vs by our Superiors is according to the Iustice of God But if this were so so many more would come to perfection then do And it would be far more easy to come to it then it is But pâ—rfection and sanctity must be gotten by others means then by persuading our selues that wee shal come to it by simply doing from time to time what our Superioâ— willeth or biddeth vs. If with al we do not in our interior regard God in his Iustice as wel as the exterior bidding of Superiors and do it more out of the regard of that then the other yea as much as is posâ—ible if we wil do it wel we are to do it with a simple pure regard of God and his cal for though the interior cal neuer contradicteth the exteriorâ— for if it do it is to be strewdly suspected and that for the most part of things to be done in Religion God caelleth the soul by exterior Obedience Yet
heertofore No certainly for their is no way but by Obedienâ—e to come to God and no vertue without Obedience is pleasing to God But it is an Obedience that regardeth God and that doth what he would And not a foolish pretended Obedience which is in the letter and not in the spirit None can truely see how to obey but out of an internal light giuen and imparted to the soul by God who is the true teacher of Obedience and al other solid vertues And in these dayes where true Obediâ—nce is so little knowne and where Obedience is counted to be practised in perfection when the subiect is punctual out of a simpathy of nature with his Superior and can by reason of a quiet nature magnify him and think that they must haue no other relation to God in his world then by their Superior whom to please and whose good wil and good word to enioy is the perfection of what they came for without further acqâ—aintance with God in their soul. This I say being now tearmed Obedience it is no wounder the world is so scarse of Saints God I beseech him teach vs that Obedience which is souâ—d for the other vanisheth away as smoak as to any solid effect in the foul It is an easy matter to talk and exhort souls to conforme themselues in their interior to others where there is no obligation or any profit to come of it though it be against the streame of a true spirit and â—al and though he that thus aduiseth vs is heer to day and gone to morrow yet the perplexity that comes by such proceedings if it be contrary to what God requires of vs may sticke by vs while we liue to our great harme and grief But were they that thus vrge vs out of a certain custom euer put to it themselues No suâ—ely for if they had they would haue more feeling of others being put out of their way I speak not of a direct putting of a soul out for that is to palpable of being il but of aâ— indirect which pretendeth many things in excuse and in particular more perfection c. But the poor soul if she be by these pretences put out of her way wil find her-self both void of comfort quiet and perfection For God neuer prospers indiscreet and inconsiderate proceedings though we in them and for them be applauded by al the world Al that draws to multiplicity and estranging from God in our interior let vs blis our selues from as the poison of our soul and any thing or creature that would interpose it-self between God and our soul is an impediment to â—ontemplation Wo be to those souls if they haue a capacity for an internâ—l life that are studying how to write and speake to creatures to the powring out of their affections For by this means their affection wil be taken vp by the way and the creatures wil be more regarded then the Creator though the subiect of their writings be of and for God Much vanity I haue known in this kind the Ghostly Father admiring the wit deuotion and humility of his penitent And the penitent bâ— hauing her proceedings in that kind admired published applauded by her Ghostly Father was in great danger to vanish away in her own cogitations These sensible proceedings often draw the soul do what shâ— can more to men then God There are two things now a days by which we take vpon vs to measure other mens perfection The one is by the quietnes of their nature And the other is if we be Superiors we iudg by the simpathy that is between them and vs tearming them most humble obedient c. that are most stutable to our spirit and sense those specially do so whose exercise is in sense and who put much perfection in sensible deuotion But certainly true Humility is so subtile a thing that none can iudg who is most perfect therein but God and those to whom he reuealeth it And this is the reason why it is said Thaâ— the iudgments of God are far different from those of men Powre was giuen by God for edificationâ— and not for distruction The which edification principally consisteth in the Superior-accommodating him-self to the interior diuine cal of his subiect and with that intention are al Religious professions made and to be intended by the Professors and Accepters of the Profession and especially acâ—ording to the intention of our holy Mother the Church by whose warrant those Proâ—essions receiue their validity And therefor a Superior that neglects to proceed with â—is subiects according to such their diuine â—â—l accommodated to the rule strayeth from the scope and intention of Religious Proâ—ession And for the auoiding of these mischiefs as also for the difficulty that the Superiors find haue in the true discouery of â—â—ternal cals that are of meer spiritual things I may say was the caus wherefor the Holy Ghost who is the proper maister of true spirituality hath inspired the pens of the torrent of his Doctors of the holy Church to declare and teach that souls as wel in Religion as out of it Are free for their meere interior whereby they may be able to follow such teaching from the Holy Ghost him-self as man cannot afford them though man may hurt or destroy such teachings easily where God permitteth it and themselues yeld to it to their own great los and harme And the interior is of that great and infinit worth and moment that so that that may be wel it is no matter what commeth of al other things Yea then al other things wil be wel if that be in good case by harkening to and following the diuine interior cal which is al in al to a capable soul. O wo wo yea a thousand times wo to a soul that is frighted by any threats ouercome by 〈◊〉 temptatâ—onsâ— or cast down by yelding 〈◊〉 feares into that perplexity which makeâ— her vnfit to heare and follow what Gâ—â— speaketh to her soul and dis-inableth hâ—â— from following prayer which Seraphinaâ— Firmanus tearmeth for the Nobility aâ—â— worth of it Omnipotent O you souls whâ— are capable of prayer be greatful to oâ—â— Lord for it is the greatest happines that caâ— be possessed in this life For by it it is eaâ—â— passing through al things how hard anâ— painful soeuer By it we come to be famiâ—liar with God him-self and to conuers 〈◊〉 Heauen By it al impediments wil be reâ—moued between God and our souls By 〈◊〉 we shal receiue light for al that God woulâ— do by vsâ— By it we shal come to regarâ— God in al and wholy neglect our-selueâ— By it we shal know how to conuerse oâ— earth without preiudice to our souls Anâ— in fine by it we shal prays God and beâ—come so vnited to him that nothing shal bâ— able to separate vs for time or eternity froâ— his sweet Goodnes O let him be al in al to vâ— who can only satisfy our souls He is
Religious of the English Conuent of Cambray of the holy Order of Sâ— Bennet pious fspring of that Noble and Glorious Martyr sir Thomas More Chancellor of England contayning nothing but a true practise of that diuine Booke of the Imitation of Christ restored of late to the true Author Iohn Gerson Venerable Abbot of the same Order approoued by al for the mirrour of Christian and Religious perfection needs no Approbation but a serious recommendation to al such as desire a true pattern to attain to the perfect loue of God by affectiue prayer and practise thereof Sic censeo ego Parisiis 1. Aprilis 1658. Fr. VVALGRAVIVS Doct. Theol. Monachus Prior Benedictinus CONFESSIONES AMANTIS THE CONFESSIONS OF A louingâ— pious soule to allmighty God THE FIRST CONFESSION MY Lord we often read in our office of the Breuiary that those that forsake all for thy sake shall receaue a hundred folde in this life and life euerlasting in the next This we read and heare this was spoken by thy owne mouth and therefor of the truth thereof we cannot doubt nor in the hope â—hereof can we be deceiued presupâ—osing we on our part be not wanting of that which is necessary to the perâ—ormance of that which thou exactest But tell me I beseech thee my Godâ— tell me I say for thy owne sake what iâ— itâ— that thou exactest of them who shalâ— obtaine this thy promise for I see maâ—ny leaue their parents friends acâ—quaintance their fortunes their ricâ— possessions contrey and all and yeâ— is it plaine that they finde not this hundred folde in this life that is the forerunner of the euerlasting in the next For I see their state is a burthen to them and the obligations of Obedience and religious obseruance is esteemed by them a great seruitude and burthen What is the meaning of this my Lordâ— Shall I doubt that those who resolutly and willingly forsaâ—e all the world for for thee would sticke at forsaking themselues also seeing that by forsaking and denying themselues they should find thee in a most particular maner in their soules Is such forsaking of ourselues to be accounted a loosing of our selues O no! but it is a most sweetâ— and happy exchange to leaue oâ—â— ownâ— wills for to performe thine to be subiect for thee to euery liuing creature is not a burthen but the greatest â—iberty in this world But alas my God the reason why we finde thy yoke a burthen is because we beare it not with thee by which only it is to be made an easy yoke If soules who haue actually forsaken the world and in desire themselues also which most comming into ReligioÌ„ are desirous to do were but putt into some course between thee and their soules by those who had the care of them or authority ouer them they would not as thâ—y doe fly backe from their first intention but would euery day more and more by conuersing with thee get more light to know thy will strength to performe it But being ignorant how to conuerse with thee and how in all things to haue relation to thee thy yoke becomes more and more burthensome to them and euery day they fall into new difficulties and inconueniencies and are in danger at last to fall into open rebellion against their lawfull Superiors and some of them into strange friendships a thing which is worthy to be bewailed with blouddy teares that harts capable of thy loue and by profession consecrated therevnto should so miserably loose themselues in powring out themselues where and from whom no true comfort can be found or had O Lord remoue these impediments from those who are thine by so many titles lett them know thee and of thee that they may loue nothing but thee and lett them loue thee that they may know themselues and their owne weaknesâ— and also thy power and Maiesty O my Lord how infinitly is my soule bound to praise and loue thee since by meanes of a faithfull seruant of thine I haue been instructed in thy law and taught how to haue in all things relation to thee my only beloued by which means all Crosses miseries paines disgraces temptations are most tolerable to me I hauing thee so present to whom I may speake or write and by whom though I am contemptible in the eyes as I iustly deserue to be of all the world I am not yet despised or â—eglected for which infinite mercy â—ll praise and honour be giuen to theâ— O when shall I be gratefulâ— to thee Or â—hat shaâ—l I render for all thou bestoâ—est on me I haue nothing but a hart desirous to loue and praise thee but for ability to do either alas my God it is wanting to me O that all loues might be wholy conuerred to thee At least lett those who haue dedicated themselues to thee cease to desire any thing out of thee Send them meanes to know how sweet it is to haue no friend but thee and to be neglected by all but thy sweet mercy O can that soule that loues her God For very shame complaine To any other then himselfe Of what she doth sustaine No way to her was euer sound Nor euer shall there be But taking vp thy Crosse my Lord Thereby to follow thee This is the Way the Truth the Life Which leadeth vnto heauen None is secure but only this Though seeming nere so euen Those that do walke this happyâ— path IESVS doth company But those who go another way Will erre most miserably And in this way do not think much That thou dost much endure No though it be from holy men For God doth this procure That thou maist seeke himselfe alone And putt thy trust in him And not in any creatures liuing How good so ere they seeme For suffring by the meanes of th' ill Will little thee aduance But to be sensur'd by the good Goes neere to thee perchanceâ— Alas we shew but little â—oue If we must choose which way Our Lord must try our Loue to him And not in all obey We must submitt our selues to him And be of cheerefull hart For he expecteth much of them Who be of Maries part For she must beare a censure hard From all without exception But thou O Lord wilt her excuse Who art her soules election If she will patiently sustaine And be to thee attent Thou fauourably willt iudge of her Who know'st her harts intent For all but thou as well she sees May erre concerning her They only iudge as they conceiue But thou canst neuer erre Complaine not therefor louing soule If thou willt be of those Who loue their God more then themselus and Maries part haue chose If all thou dost be taken ill By those of high perfection And further if thou be accus'd To be of some great faction Our Lord will answere all for thee If thou willt hold thy peace And from contentions and complaints Willt patiently surcease Leauing all care vnto thy God And only him
intend Yet what is ill reforme in thee And this will all amend As farre as he doth thinke it good Who is most iust and wise He will thee by afflictions purge From what displease his eyes Willt thou of all that loue thy God From suffring be exempt O no but blisse as others do thy God and liue content Amidst the various accidents That do to thee befall Committ thy selfe and all to God Who seekes our good in all Thy selfe art blind and cannot iudge What is the best for thee But he doth pearce into all things How hâ—dd so ere thâ—y be My hart shall only this desire That thou my Lord dispose Euen as thou pleasest in all things Till these myne eys thou close By death which I so much desire Because it will procure Me to enioy my God my all Where I shall be secure That none from me can take my Lord But for eternity I shall enioy my only good And to him euer be Vnited by a knott of Loue Which nothing shall vnity But will remayne as permanent As his Diuinity O happy houre when willt thou come And set my Spirit free That I may loue and prayse my God For perpetuity Contemplating his glorious face With all that him adore Singing with them his sweetest prayse For eâ—er and euer more In this is such and so great comfort and peace that well may the soule be tearmed to receaue a hundred folde in this life who despiseth it-selfe and all other things that it may finde thee O how free is such a soule to fly with the wings of Loue to the throne of thy Diuine Maiesty Neuer was there or can be imagined such a Loue as is betweene an humble soule and thee Who can expresse what passeth between such a soule and thee Verily neither man nor Angell is able to do it sufficiently and the more such a soule knowes of thee the more sound becometh her humility the which thy selfe only can teach one perfectly and it is impossible to gett it in verity and perfection but by conuersing with thee O my God bestow this heauenly gift on me which only findeth fauour before thee Those that possesse it are able in and by thee to beare all things to vnderstand all things as farre as it is necessary for them For one learneth more in Prayer of thee in one hower then all creatures in the world could teach one in fifty yeares for that which thou teachest is sound solid and secure because it tends to nothing but to loue thee neglect it selfe Thy words bring force strength in themselues thy words are words of peace to the soule thy words are not like the words of men which passe as a sound through the ayr buâ— thyne pearse the very bottome of our soules Lett me hearken therefore to thee who speaketh loue and most certaine truth The wisedome of the world is foolishnes before thee But thy wisedome is much to be desired and for it willingly ought we to giue all our substance to it we ought to be espowsed and by it if we will be happy all our actions ought to be gouerned Allthough thou didst say that vnlesse we become as litle children we could not enter into the kingdome of heauen yet withall thou hast said that we ought to be wise as serpents and simple as doues where thou puttest that we should be wise before we be simple and not simplicity before wisedome whereof I aske thee the reason O my Lord with all the humility I am possibly able For it seems to meâ— that thereinâ— as in all thy words there is a hidden Mystery tell me I say my God of whom in all cases and doubts I aske solution and many times by it thou dost make many things manifest to my simplicity tell me â— say what was the reason Verily it seemeth to me that thou biddest vs be wise before we become simple becaus that is only true Simplicity which followeth true Wisedome For we cannot become truly simplified in our soule but by thy heauenly gift of true wisedome For there is a simplicity which is without wisedome and discretion which litle auayleth to perfection This vertue of Simplicity becometh more and more perfect in the soule as she increaseth in humility and charity yet at the very first of our conuersion this is in some sort practised by vs if we do as we ought to do As for example to become pleasing to thee it is absolutly necessary that a soule walke simply and sincerly before thy selfe and all men and read and heare obey and perâ—forme all in a simple and humble maner not searching into that which belongeth not vnto her this I say thou dost exact for nothing is more odious to thee then the contrary practise But yet this doth not diminish our naturall reason but maketh it more cleere and able to comprehend what is necessary for vs. This vertue also therefor bestow vpon me who euen in my nature as thou well knowest did euer aboue all things hate dissembling and dissimulation O Lord poore as I am and most sinnefull thus thou â—eest how I presume to speake vnto â—hâ—e but easily shall I obtayn pardon of thee becaus thou ouerflowest with â—he aboundance of thy mercy for whâ—ch Glory Prayse Adoration be to thee who art my Lord and my God and only desired by me I haue no friend to speake or treat with but thee and some of thy Saints to whom thou hast giuen charge of me and to whom I fly when my sinnes affright me amongst whom next after thy Deare Mother the Queene of mercy is my beloued S. Augustine O Glorious Saint whose hart did burne And flame with Loue Diuine Remember me most sinnefull wretch Who hunger staru'd doth pine For want of that which thou enioyest In such aboundant measure It is my God that I doe meane My ioy and all my treasure Thy words O Saint are truly sweet Becaus thou dost addresse Them vnto him who 's only meet Our mis'ries to redresse At whose intorcession much hast thou done for me Honour them my Lord for me who am so poore thatâ— haue nothing to present them or thee only a desire of being gratefull to thee who be by all eternally prayâ—sed Amen It was S. Augustine the Doctor and amorous seruant of God that she heere meant THE SECOND CONFESSION Omnis ex vobis qui non renunti at omnibus quae possident non potest meus esse discipulus Qui habet aures audiendi audiat All you who renounce not all you possesse cannot be my disciple who hath eares of hearing let him heare THESE are thy words my Lord which though they seeme hard at first yet being explicated to our soules by thee they become most easy and sweet to performe Teach me therefor my God I beseech thee for thy mercies sake teach me I say how I â—hall perform this to the glory of thyâ—oly â—oly name Thou hast inflamed my â—art as thou
to my truly louing thee What can I I say pretend seeing no peace or comfort can be found but only in thee What do we when wee desire comfort of thee but depriue our selues of a most happy liberty which they enioy who desire nothing for tyme or eternity but without al regard of themselues to be perfectly conformable to thee If we would liue without all intention or wish but of enioying thee which cannot be done but by a truly humble and faithfull soule the diuell could not ouercome vs by any wile We should easily retain true peace with our selues with all the world and aboue all with thee For when we adhere to any created thing we become a slaue to our Passion and are in eminent danger of sinne No way is plaine secure and easy and without perill of all errour but this that the soul seek nothing but thee her Creator This is the way in which a foole cannot erre this is the way without questions in which a soul without all impediment adhereth to thee the fountain of all true wisedome who willingly illuminateth our needy soules if we wil but giue thee our hart and soul to thy self thou considerest not our former sinnes after thou hast once blotted them out but dost vpon them who haue had the maners of beastes in times past most bountifully and aboundantly bestow and refresh them with the sweet dew of thy grace which hauing tasted in their soul it maketh them loath all that is lesse then Thee neither can they take any content but in hearing thy name speaking to thee and longing after thee after thoâ— haft wounded their soul with thy Diuine Charity O lett me sitt alone silent to all the world and it to me thatâ— may learn the song of Loue and praise oâ— thee which is so infinitly due to thee from me This song none can sing but those that truly loue thee and whose only consolation is to be without all comâ—ort as often and as much as it shall please thee Nothing as thou knowst do I putt any ioy or comfort in but in sighing after thee whâ— aâ—t not heer as thou art to be by vs seen O teach me those vertues which draw a soul so out of her self into thee that she becometh insensible to all things but thee these vertues are true Humility which knoweth not how to exallt it self perfect Subiection to thee and Discretion which can only be taught by thy Maiesty and yet is so necessary that no vertue hath more vertue in it then partaketh of true Discretion For without that we insteed of true vertue practise absurd follies O my Lord. aboue all things lett me seeke thy glorie who be praised by all creatures for all eternityâ— Amen THE SIXT CONFESSION IS it any wonder my Lord God that in all my doubts temptations paines and in this continuall warrfare which I find vpon earthâ— and in my greif of being seperated by sinnes dayly vnwillingly committed and liuing in flesh and bloud from thee my only beloued and my most infinit good I recurre to thee for succour help What shall I do if I should not in all things speak vnto thee consult with thee and haue relation to thee what would becom of me whose frailty and weaknes is aboue all that can be imagined much lesse expressed by me but by recurring to thee I find and gett light and a certain sweet and heauenly repast towards the sustaining of all the miseries this bannishment of ours is subiect vnto Alas thou knowst I haue placed all my peace and hope in thee All I desire is that may loue thee and become totally subiect to thee Do with me whatsoeuer thou pleasest For I desire no more power to choose any thing any more then if I had neuer been only thy-self I long for and desire to possesse and obtaine yet in what maner measure as thou didst from all eternity will and ordaine For in this desire my soul hart and will haue no limitts nor can they sufficiently extend themselues to their fill saue only by louing and praising thee by thy self which is my refuge all power in my self I feeling vtterly to faile Certainly only by louing knowing and enioying thee can my soul become truly happy bring me to this I beseech thee seeing that thou vouchsafest such a desire to her who is thy poorest sinnfullest and most contemptible creature neither is there any creature nor can there be of so litle desert but that they deserue what thou dost to and for my soule farr farr farr beâ—or me All the Glory therefor be giuen to thee For nothing but confusion is due vnto me which grant I may beare patiently when through thy iust iudgment it falleth vpon me THE VII CONFESSION I Haue inquired of others about all those things which I thought appertained or might be a help to me for the better seruice of thee But no stability could I find in any Instructions till I was referred to thee who art that one thing which is only necessary Few are the Instructions which to a good will were necessary if we were referred to thee as our principall and only Maister and Director who can indeed neuer erre and is allways present and both teaches vs what Obedience and Humility is and giueth grace allso to perfâ—rm them which none can do but thy-self O how happy are they who truly adore thee in truth and Spirit For these in thy light shall see light and in thy strength are able to passe through all difficulties how great soeuer These adhering faithfully to thee sustaine their Crosses so cheerfully as if in their suffering they beheld thee for whom they suffer with their corporall eyes And they desyring no knowledg of thee but what they haue by faith which is only secure and void of all perill of errour Thou wonderfully confirmest them in the light of that which is in it-selfe so secure What comfort can a soul take in any created thing who hath placed her ioy in thee alone No Angell can satisfy her or make her greiâ—e the lesser while she is bannished from her God who is her Glory and her Crowne Yet one thing she hath to be some comfort to her while thus it stands with her which none can take from her and that is the hauing of relation vpon all occurrents to thee immediatly in her soul in such a maner that nothing can interpose it selfe betweene thee and her She indeed highly esteemeth all that thou hast made euery thing as it is deriued by partaking of thy grace More in perfection of which degree are Angells and the Soules of men and she preferreth the latter that are yet in this world before herself in all things but yet as in comparison of thee they are to her as if they were meere nothing as for resting or placing her felicity in them For well she knoweth that if there were no soul yet created nor euer to be
but only her own soul and that â—ere as all soules are capable of thee she should by possessing thee alone and without them be infinitly happy for thus it is for nothing can â—atiat a reasonable soul but only thou And hauing of thee who art indeed all nothing could be said to be â—anting to her Thus my God it stands with me for which all glory and praise be giuen to thee eternally For if it had not stood thus with our soules that our happynes had only depended on thee some defect there would haue beene that might haue been an impediment between a soul and thee O that some who liue wholy to thee and experience the infinit desire thou hast to impart thy selfâ— to all reasonable soules would come out of their solitud their liuing wholy â—or the good of themselues declare the way of Loue to hungry and euen starued soules O how many would then be as tractable Lambes who now rebell as stiffe-necked soules Verily thou knowest that before I mett with such a seruant of thâ—e my hart seemed â—o me and also to others to be growne liuing yet in Religion more hard as to any good then euer was a stone but heating thy law made by him so easy plaine it was great ioy to my soul and little did it seeme to suffer all the paine and misery in the world so I might please and serue thee my only beloued I had indeed inquired about thee of many before and those such as were most likely to haue known they all agreed in points necessary to saluation neither should I haue erred as I did if I had followed them but what was the meane and way to a perfect Vnion with thee in my soul I could not at all hear or learn For they had as some of them humbly profest been for twenty yeares imployed in hearing Confessions and in studies thereby endeauouring to thy great honour to work the saluation of streying soules which was a happy course for them so that they had little experience in directing Contemplatiue soules But as one of them profest who was our cheife Superior if we had not found one of our owne Order who could in this haue giuen satisfaction to our soules he would haue sought ouer all the world most willingly to haue found and procured one for vs for which Humility and Charity of his I beseech thee my Lord God to reward him as beseemeth thy infinit Goodnes And grant that we who haue or shall find benefit by these most happy Instructions may be as faithfull to thee as it is possible for soules loaden with flesh and bloud and lett our harts study nothing ells but how to loue thâ—e and by perfect subiection lett our soules liue quietly vnder whomsoeuer is sett ouer vs by thee For in vain do we pretend to obey thee if we be not pliable to those that are set ouer vs by thy Diuine Maiesty For those who truly endeauour to please thee would obey a worm if it could commaund in the name and power of thee For so much is an action pleasing to thee as it is done in that maner it is exacted of vs by thee which good will and pleasure of thine we cannot learn but by conuersing with thee which if we do and liue withall as well as our frailty will permit wholy to thee and seek our own abiection it will easily appeare to vs how and which way in all things we shall behaue our selues to become truly obedient to thee For either by the Rule custome or order of the howse or by the speciall ordinance of the Superior God sheweth vs what to do they being infallible declarations of his will and the most certain of all Or ells for things for â—hich they referre vs to thee as for the maner of our Prayer and such like things thou teachest an humble soul what therein to do and when to ask of others and when to seek the solutions from thee But indeed as I haue confessed to thee before speaking ordinarily few are the questions that occurre in the way that is of humble Resignation Only thou requirest that how cleerly or securely soeuer a soul walk she be ready in all that is required of her by Superiors to giue them a faithfull accompt and to amend and correct whatsoeuer they iudge amisse This lesson they learn who in all haue relation to thee and thou giuest them grace to obey in all for thee if we dispose our soules to hear and follow thee For thou giuest one grace to one and an other to an other and some may do that with profit which would to another be a mayn preiudice Thou giuest wisedom to all thy little ones but not to all in one maner but to a Superior in one kind and to a subiect in another In all therefor if we will truly obey we ought to obserue ourselues what doth hinder and what doth help towards the obtaining of thy diuine Loue for which all things are and haue been ordained by thy diuine Goodnes and yet to do this as we ought passeth so between thee and vs that none can discern it by vs vnlesse perhaps they hold the same course For this proceeding doth not make a soul singular in her actions and cariadge for singularity is a vice which thou extreamly hatest but rather makes one exceedingly loue the common obediences and externall exercises all of them putting ones soul in mind of her duty towards thee in all things and so hast thou ordained and disposed the orders of this howse that they are a sufficient book â—o teach vs our duty and do shew vs when to Praise thee and when to cease from actually doing it When to speak and when to be silent and for my part following them as well as I can quietly and out of Obedience to thee I find them all most necessary and proper to aduance a soul in the true Loue of thee and particularly the Diuine Offâ—ce is such a heauenly thing that in it we find whatsoeuer we can desire For sometimes in it we addresse vs to thee for help and pardon for our sinnes and some-times thou speakest to vs so that it pearceth and woundeth with desire of thee the very bottome of our soules and sometimes thou teachest a soul to vnderstand more in it of the knowledg of thee and of themselues then euer could haue been by all the teaching in the world shewed to a soul in fiue hundred yeares and as I haue often allready said thy words are works and therefor happy are the humble and peacefull of hart for these find such free accesse to thee that thou be commest indeed all in all and aboue all to them while they seelâ— nothing but thee and no perill is there to them in their way as long 〈◊〉 they retain true Humility in theâ—â— soules For who can hurt a soul 〈◊〉 deceaue her while she adhereth faithfully to
thee but if she presume any thing of herself what perillsâ— and danger she is subiect vnto and she apt to fall into none can conceaue much lesse expresse And to this effect of shewing a soul how to walk securely writeth thy great seruant the Author of the following of Christ in his 21. Chapter of his third book whose words with great ioy I read and before thee speaking too I will heere bring them in beseeching thee to instruct me in the true practise of them For they contayn the way in which a foole cannot erre and without the practise of this our soules lye open to all the snares of the Diuell thine and our enemy No instruction did she so much regard so frequently reflectâ—on or more volue and â—â—â—olve in her mind nor more delighted in â—hen this that followeth being meerly of â—er own finding and obsâ—ruing in the said â—ook which she was familiar in and no â—aruaile considering the excellency and â—ecessity of it for the purpose which she hath mentioned being the securing of one in a Spirituall course thus therefor doth he say â—peaking to her soule Super omnia in omnibus requiesces â—â—ima mea in Domino semper quia ipse est â—anctorum aeterna requies Da mihi dulâ—sâ—me amantissime Iesu in Te super â—mnem Salutem Pulchritudinem super omnem Gloriam honorem super omnem â—â—tentiam DignitateÌ„ super omnem ScieÌ„tiam Subtilitatem super omnes Diuitias Artes super omnem LaetitiaÌ„ Exultationem superomnem famam Laudem super omnem Suauitatem ConsolationeÌ„ super omnem Spem Promissionem super omne Meritum Desiderium super omnia dona munera quae potes dare infundere super omne Gaudium iubilationem quam potest mens capere â—â—ntire Denique super Angelos Archangelos super omnem Exercitum Coeli super omnia visibilia inuisibilia super omne quod Tu Dâ—us meus non esâ— Quia Tu Domine Deus meus super omnia optimus es Tu solus Altissimus Tu solus Potentissimus Tu solus Sufficientissimus Plenissimus Tu solus Suauissimus Solatiosissimus Tu solus Pulcherrimus Amantissimus Tu solus Nobilissimus Gloriosissimus super omnia in quo cunctâ—â— bona simul perfecte sunt semper fuâ—runt erunt Atque ideo minus est insâ—fficiâ—ns quiâ—quid prâ—ter Teipsum mihi donas aut de teipso reuelas vel promittâ—â— Te non viso nec plene adepto Quoniam quidem non potest cor meum veraciter requiescere nec totaliter contentari nisiin Te requiesâ—at omnia dona omnemque Creaturam transcendat Aboue all things in all things my soule thou shalt euer rest in God for hee is the eternall rest of the Saints Grante Mee most sweet and louing Iesus to Rest in Thee aboue all Creatures aboue all Health and Beauty aboue all Glory and Honour aboue all I owre and Dignity aboue all Knowledge and Subtility aboue all riches and Arts Aboue all ioy and â—ladnesse aboue all fame and Praise â—boue all sweetnesse and Comfort aboue â—ll Hope and Promâ—se aboue all meritt â—nd Desyre aboue all Guifts and prefents â—hat Thou canst giue and impart aboue all ioy and Iubilee that the Mind can reâ—eiue feele lastly aboue Angells and Archangells aboue all the heauenly Host aboue all things visible and inuisible and aboue All that Thou art not my God For Thou my Lord God art good aboue all goods Thou alone most high Thou alone â—ost powrefull Thou alone most full and sufficient Thou alone most sweet and comfortable thou alone most beautifull and louing Thou alone most noble and Glorious aboue all Things in whom all â—oods together are most perfectly haue beene and euer shall be And therefore it 〈◊〉 too little and not sufficient whatsoeuer Thou bestowest on Mee besides thy selfe or reuealest of tâ—y selfe or promisest whilst Thou art not seene nor fully obtayned For surely my Hart cannot rest nor be fully contented vnlesse itt rest in Thee and transcend all guifts and Creatures whatsoeuer All things desires and loues are vainâ— But only that which tends To God alone our cheifest good And all things ells transcends My soul therefor by this sweet Loue shall day and night aspire And rest in God all things aboue My Loue and lifes desire And while I liue I le neuer cease To languish for his Loue Breathing and sighing after him Till he my life remoue For since â— am not where I loue How can I comfort find But only in the song of Loue By Loue to me assign'd And where so ere â—his word is 〈◊〉 loue It yeilds a siluer sound But if that word I misse in it Me thinks I want my ground Nothing so simple can be pennd If it but treat of Loue But that it serueth in some sort My sadnes to remoue And shall my soul by senselesse loue Which yet is neuer true Bestow more loue where it is lost Then where 't is only due â— no my God but rather lett Such folly be to me A meanes to vrge my sinnefull soul To Loue more fernently And henceforth lett me draw no breath But to aspire by Loue To thee my God and all my good By whom I liue and moue No Stagge in chace so thirsty is Or greedy of sweet spring As is my soul of thee my God While I heere sighing sing My soul where is thy Loue and Lord Since him thou canst not find O cheere vp hart be comforted For he is in thy mind To him relation thou maist haue As often as thou goes Unto the closett of thy hart Thy griefs for to disclose As silly Lambes from rauening Woolues For help to Sheapheards fly So shall my soul in euery case For help and councell hye To thee my God by humble Prayer In hope and confidence That thou my Lord willt succour me And be my soules defence And seeing that my God is rich How can I say I 'm poore And hee more myne then I myne owne What can I wish for I more And in his Maiesty and power Much more I will reioice Thâ—n if of all in heauen and earth I had commaund and choice My God one thing alone thou know'st I feare and apprehend Which is my Lord for to displease Whose mercies haue no end From all that doth displease thyne eyeâ—â— Be pleas'd to sett me free For nothing ells in heauen or earth Do I dâ—sire but thee And lett me rather death embrace Then thee my God offend Or in my hart to giue thy place To any other freind Nothing would greiue my soul so much As in me to perceaue Any affection in the world That thine would me bereaue I know thou must possesse alone Or els we are not thine In such good plight as we should be If light to vs did shine As thou desirest it should do By grace our soules within For which
are all the helps we haue Intended and haue been Imparted and bestowed by thee That we might liue alone To thee who satiat'st pure soules With ioyes that are vnknown And wo to them a thousand times Who interest haue in any Or haue deuided harts to thee After thy gifts so many For thou hast purchased our loue At too too deare a rate To haue a partner in our hart Which iustly thou dost hate O this thy wrong makes Angells blush O make it farre from me Since that I am both body and soul All conseerate to thee And I also will greiue with them To see thee haue such wrong From soules selected by thy self To sing with them the song Of Loue and praise to thee O God And euen in this place To Contemplate thee as we may O sweet and happy grace If we would dy vnto our selues And all things ells but thee It would be naturall to our soules For to ascend and be Vnited to our Center deare To which our soules would hy Being as proper then to vs As fire to vpwards fly O lett vs therefor loue my God For Loue pertaines to him And lett our soules seek nothing ells But in this Loue to swimme Till we absorpt by his sweet Loue Return from whom we came Where we shall melt into that Loue Which ioyeth me to name And neuer can I it too much Speak of or it desire Since that my God who 's Loue it selfe Doth only Loue require Come therefor all and lett vs loue And with a pure aspect Regard our God in all we do And he will vs protect O that all things vpon the earth Re-ecchoed with thy praise My euerlasting glorious God The Ancient of dayes And it I wish with all my soul Incessantly to sing But seeing this I cannot do My sighes to heauen shall ring Yea if I writ out all the sea Yet could I not expresse The ioy and comfort I do feele In what thou dost possesse No gifts or grace nor comforts heere How great so ere they be Can satiat my longing soul While I possesse not thee For thou art all my harts desire Yea all that I do craue In earth or heauen now and euer Thou art all that I would haue And I do wish with all my soul That to thee I could pray With all my hart and all my strength Ten thowsand times a day Lett peoples tribes and tongues confesse Vnto thy Maiesty And lett vs neuer cease to sing Sanctus Sanctus to thee These are his words my Lord God which whosoeuer practiseth shall find a Spirituall internall life so easy sweet secure and void of all questions that they will walk euen in this bannishment where our life is tearmed and that most iustly a continuall warrefare with a heauenly peace and security For to that soul who proposeth nothing to herself but thy selfe alone aboue all gifts and creatures what can interpose it selfe for to harm her while she remaineth thus confident and humble between Maiestyâ— and her soul. Certainly so subiect doth such an one liue to thee and to all others in that maner as shall be exacted by thee that there can nothing carry her away while thus it stands with her to any errour of vanity and her loue is so founded in true Charity and practised with such Humility and so in her very soul that nothing can interrupt her conuersation with thee Besides in a soul who walketh vpon this secure ground of only seeking thee and only resting in thee such a diuine light doth shine that she iudgeth according to the iustice of thy Diuine will and not according to sense or custome which in these blind days takes place allmost in all things of true reason and this for want of hauing recourse to thee my Lord who art the only true light and of this defect it proceeds that the diuine ways of Loue are now held so perillous and insecure in which my God thou hast an infinit wrong seeing that we were made only to Loue and attend to the praise of thee our Lord. It is true those who will pretend to lead a Spiriâ—uall life and yet seek not in all to deny themselues but desire this gift or this grace this fauour or that comfort lett them pretend for their excuse in it whatsoeuer they please do oâ—ten times miserably deceiue not only themselues but also many others and bring an internal life wholy into a scorne and contempt to the preiudice of their owne soules and also of many others But I wish that those that do this simply by being for a Spirituall life vnapt might giue themselues to that which by Superiors should be found most fitting for them and noâ— be a cause that thy sweet mercy anâ— goodnes should haue such wrong as that other soules who were fit should be hindred from hauing relation to thee by which their soules would be turned wholy into Loue by a vehement desire and longing after thee that one thing that is only necessary and from this house To witt of the Benedictine Nunn◠〈◊〉 Cambray The same she meanes for Paâ—â—â— issued thence and where her natural Sister of the same Spirit Gouernes at present I beseech thee for thy own sake keepe this misery which of all other is the greatest that I can comprehend oâ— imagin THE EIGTH CONFESSION BLESSED is that Simplicity saith my foremencioned Author in his fourth book of the Following of Christ that forsaketh the difficullt way of many questions Those are his words in his said diuine Booke where he proueth the way of Loue to be so easy and secure as I haue before signified O how happy are they who follow thee in Humility and Simplicity of hart for these haue few doubts which are the cause of questions The more a soul is void of doubts the more capable is she speaking ordinarily of these secret wayes of the Diuine Loue For commonly her way must be to resign herself to thy will What roome is there left then for questions Yet when it is thy will that in a reall doubt she ask thou teachest her how to proceed in it that it may be a help to her soul and no hindrance which seldome happens when without thy leaue and sending she presumeth to endanger herself to be intangled by falling out of one doubt and question into fiue hundred others Lett it be with my soul O Lord as it is said of Anna the Mother of thy Prophet Samuel that she turned her countenance no more towards seuerall waies For hauing been taught and instructed by thy sweet mercy that One thing is to me only necessary lett me not loose my selfe by following or trying those seuerall waies of which she speaketh I haue as thou knowst my God had sufficient triall of them to the great misery and difficulty of my poore soul for that time lett me now sing and that from the bottom of my soul that it is good for me to
for vaine is the help of man I will therefor confide in thee my God my mercy who be Adored Praised and Exalted for tyme and eternity Amen THE NINTH CONFESSION LEX Domini immaculata conuertens animas testimonium Domini fidele sapientiam praestans paruulis Iustitiae Domini rectae laerificantes corda praeceptum Domini lucidum illuminans oculos The Law of our Lord is immaculate correcting soules the Testimony of our Lord is faithfull giuing Wisedome to little Ones The Iustices of our Lord be right making harts ioyfull the precept of our Lord light some illuminating the eyes These my God are the words of thy Royall Prophet which are as it followeth in the same Psalme to be desired aboue gold and rich pretious stones yea they are more sweet to a louing soul then the honny or the honny combe Lett this Law of thine conuert my soul that it may become one of thy little ones to whom the grace of true Wisedome is oâ—ten promised by thee Lett thy Iustice make my hart ioyfull For in the perâ—ormance thereof is true Peace only to be found They that liue according to this thy Iustice do enioy such a diuìne tranquillity that it cannot be expressed by any pen whatsoeuer None can walk in this path of true Iustice in perfection but the humble Those find out in thy light what is thy best will and pleasure in all things as farr as humane flesh will admitt and perform thy iust will as well as human frailty will reach When we do perform any thing by this iust rule of thy holy will we find an admirable effect theâ—eof in our soul. This is that which by performing in all things we become truly subiect to thee and haue the merit of Obedience which maketh all our actions so noble before thee and of which vertue of Obedience how much or how little our actions partake so much and no more do they deserue reward Worthyly may Obedience be preferred before Sacrifice For it is that which gouerneth heauen and earth and which only deserueth reward in thy sight Happy are they who walk this way For they haue a â—ast euen of the ioyes of heauen For as they there obey thy will so these thy humble soules do also endeauour to do the same This Obedience to thee maketh the Angells as â—ell content with their degree of Glory as to be of the Seraphins who are yet in a farr higher degree in thy Kingdome This maketh the Saints content with theirs this maketh soules on earth who aspire to thee with all their harts to limit their desires with thy good will and pleasure and by this meanes they desire neither life nor death but in it conforme themselues to thy most iust will this maketh them desyre disgrace nor Glory neither paine nor health neither Crosses nor comforts This Obedience to thee and to Superiors for thee made some soules pleasing to thee by liuing in the wildernes and others by liuing in a Community some by liuing to the profit of their neighbour and others by liuing and attending only to thee in their soules some by liuing in high and eminent degree and hauing commaund ouer many others and some by being esteemed abiect and the very scumme of the world and these if they had of their own choice and election chosen the contrary state would neuer haue arriued to true Sanctity Some also by many paines Crosses come to thee some only by an internall affectioÌ„ to thee hauing that in affection which others suffer in act they also are respected by thee By which it appeares how great a subiection is exacted by thee of those who desire to become vnited to thee and neuer can we prosper in a Spirituall life vnlesse we hearken to thee and obserue euen in the least things what thou wouldst haue vs do and go that way thou wouldst haue vs in all things whatsoeuer For we may be sure thou willt lead vs by the way of Abnegation which is the way of the Crosse which if we will walk with humility and simplicity we shall with security arriue at the port of eternall Glory and enioy thee our only beloued in that degree thou hadst ordained for vs from all eternity liue we long or dy we soone For only in thee can we be happy and by thy meere grace can we deserue to enioy thee What we ouercome is so done in thy strength that the glory is wholy due to thee alone and this I find dayly seeing that when I presume of my own strength though it be in a thing which I haue often ouercome and many times farr greater it seemes to me yet I faile in that euen often to the offending thee my Lord in an extraordinary maner From this errour therefor my God heerafter deliuer thy poore contemptible seruant that I may praisâ— thee who art my only strength and hopeâ— Lead me which way thou willt soâ—â— may blesse thee in all and rest in thee aboue all From thee the strong receaue their strength and in thee sinners that haue nothing of our owne haue wherewith to supply all our want thou flyest vp with them who by an ardent loue haue surmounted all created things and are firmely vnited to thee in Spirit and thou also lendest thy sweet hand to thy little and imperfect ones who are of a good will to help them out of the mire and durt of passions and inordinate affections In this mercy my soul doth hope and reioice and I do in my pouerty congratulate the perfections of others beseeching thee to make me partaker of their merits And aboue all out of the aboundance of thy owne store giue me whereâ—ith to retorn to thee for all the merâ—ies thou hast shewed to my sinnefull â—oul Lett me please thee and praise â—hee and desire no more but that thou do with me whatsoeuer thou knowst most to thy honour O that soules would conuert their hart wholy to thee the most desirable beawty to whom if we compare all that is fair which thou hast made they will seeme â—o be without all beawty and light O if by humility soules would dispose themselues for the Diuine Loue what a reformation would there quickly be in the whole world When I remember how many soules seperate themselues by sinfull sinning from thee it pearceth my very soul seeing they forsak him who is an infinit good and a most amiable beawty Remember O Lord for thy own sake our extreame frailty and giue graâ—e that we may all conuert and return by Loue to thy Diuine Maiesty whose mercies are aboue all thy works for which Glory be euer to thee by all for time and eternity Amen THE X. CONFESSION ACCEDITE ad Deum illuminamini facies vestrae non confundentur Come to Him and be illuminated and your faces shall not be confounded These words in our diuine Office are spoken not only by him who by thy owne testimony was a man
according to thy owne hart but proceeded from the holy Ghost the Spirit of all truth who speaketh by the Prophets and Apostles for the comfort instruction and illumination of such as are true members of our holy Mother the Church how weak and contemptible soeuer they be In the beleif of which Church and in hope of thy mercies which I haue always experienced to be great towards me thy poore seruant I fly to thee in all my doubts and obscurities which sinne ignorance and imperfection cause to my soul in her way â—owards thee her only desired Beloued â—he by whom thou speak this had â—â—cepted any I should not haue daâ—d to haue applyed it to my selfe â—ut as it is I should do thee wrong â—o fly from thee when thou bidst me â—â—me and be illuminated Though my â—â—nnes be great yet thy mercies exâ—eed all the sinnes in the world I â—ill therefor come to thee that my â—â—ce be not confounded I will approach â—o thee the only true light that my souâ—â— may Loue thee being guided by â—his thy light In this light the glorious 〈◊〉 Augustin walked in an extraordiâ—ary maner when he cried out with â— most amorous hart Lord lett me know â—hee and lett me know my-selfe These â—wo knowledges are inseparable â—ompanions and increase the one â—y the other For who can know theeâ—nlesse â—nlesse he know himself vnlesse he â—e taught by thee Those that would â—now some thing of thee and would be fauoured by thee for any end but to loue thee and to learn to dispise themselues be in perill of a most dangerous ruine For those that walk the true way of the Crosse desire nâ— fauour but to be able without aâ— comfort to be faithfull to thee mâ— Lord God Those that haue done thâ— contrary of which alas there hauâ— not been a few are they which hauâ— brought a Spirituall life into such contempt that they shall haue in â— maner all the world about their eareâ— to censure them who enter into it one obiecting it will put one out oâ— his wits as they haue found by experience in many that ventureâ— vpon such a course Others say Those that affect singular waies of Spirit are in eminent perill of being deluded by the diuell Others pretend that those poore soules pretend such perfection that they slight and contemne the courses of others though their Superiors and betters which is an euident signe that they are for all their pretence in a great errour Others obiect that they abstract their affections from all the world and indeed would seeme to be dead to all creatures but that this they do that they may the better loue themselues and while they seek themselues in a Spirituall maner in the gifts and graces of God they say they are in more danger then those that liue in sinne and wickednes Others alleadg that the quietnes they seeme to enioy in occurring accidents of difficulty is either natural or els becaus they pretending to lead forsooth a Spirituall life are bound in honour to endure them patiently least otherwise they be prooued to their disgrace to be but in an imaginary course which a Spiritual life in these dayes is generally held to be Thus and in infinit other maners as it is known to thee I haue in some sort experienced euen from them whom I could haue expected by the place they â—ear to haue been hartned in my desyre of tending to thee to the vttermost ability of my soul but well might they do it seeing they were also in place where they were bound to reform in me what was and is amis in my life which I must confesse is very much but yet I confide in thy help But in fine the obiections against an internall life are so many that much help is necessary for a soul that shall be able to hold and go through with all obiections and difficulties in that kind For one saies for want of this circumstance all their life is in perill and another saith that the said circumstance may stand with a true Spirituall life but yet that there is another matter or circumstance which were necessary to be reformed in their course and thus in their exceptions there be so many mindes as men and yet none of them can say there is any sinne in that which they alleadg for such a mayn impediment the fault being indeed only that it is not sutable to their apprehension and experience in spiritual matters Thus therefor it stands with soules that in these days would lead a Spirituall life But those who place all their hope in thee my God shall remain stable as a rock and in thee who art their strength and refuge they liue peaceable and content hauing the testimony of their conscience to bâ— their comfort amidst all oppositions and contradictions But aboue all obiections which I haue heard that goes neerest my hart is when I read or hear that it is perillous to walk the way of Loue and that as some would seeme to proue no soul in any other course or state is in such perill as is a soul who giueth herself to thiâ— study But lett them affirm that who will For my part I will shutt my eares from harkning to such men becaus nothing is more plaine more easy more secure more pleasant then the way of Loue. For that way of Loue it cannot be called if the soul seek in it any thing but thee alone which these men would make it allmost impossible for one to do But thou knowst my God that in this thou hast wrong For it being thy own desire that soules should loue thee and thou hauing made them only for that end that they might wholy attend euen in this life to the Loue and Praise of thee alone how can this way be dangerous where the only endeauour of the soul is that thy will be in al fullfilled who can doubt of thy assistance and help therein though we be able to do nothing of our selues Verily it cannot be doubted any more then it can be feared that thou willt cease to be good to thy creatures which thou hast redeemed with thy pretious bloud Lett not soules therefor I beseech thee by any such frights be brought into fear of walking this noble and amiable way but lett vs sing in hope Dominus illuminatio mea salus mea quem timebo Si Deus pro nobis quis contra nos My Lord is my light and my Saluation whom shall I feare If God be with vs what matter is it who is against vs. Lett vs proceed humbly till we be admitted to enioy thee the God of Gods in Sion where thy praise shall be perfected in vs. These things therefor remembring and recounting before thee do strengthen my soul that it fall not from the stedfastnes which is grounded and founded vpon thee To harten and inconradg my soul by speaking and writing thus to thee was the caus why these things haue been
written by me which I read when I cannot for some indisposition in body or mind otherwise think vpon thee and when I am ouerwhelmed in any misery it becometh most tolerable by hauing thus conference with thee who neuer disdainest me for which all Glory be giuen to thee who art my Lord and my God blessed for all eternity Amen Alleluia THE XI CONFESSION O My Lord to whom I will speak and before whom my hart shall not be silent while thus it stands with me least the heauy weight of sinnes and my disordered passions do oppresse my soul and seperate it from thee the only desire and beloued of my hart It behooueth me indeed to be silent and that all created things be likwise silent to me to the end â— may hear the sweet whispering of thy voiâ—â— and attend in most quiet repose of soul to thy Diuine Maiesty speaking to my hart But this must be when my soul is drawn and sweetly attracted by thee to attend to what it shall please thee to work in me But now in these my sinnes which passions and inordinat affections caus in me My soul doth cry out in the bottom thereof and call vpon thee who art my refuge helper and deliuerer in all these my afflictions and miseries and this my prayer is not reiected by thee becaus thou art a bottome less Sea of mercy O when shall my soul see all impediments remoued that it may be vnited to thee and retorn to thee from whom it had her being to this end that it might by pure Loue become capable of enioying thee for all eternity What are all things to me without thee Verily nothing but a shadow neither can any of them no nor all of them together satisfy or comfort me By Louing Pleasing and Praising thee as thou wouldst haue me shall I become truly content and happy and by no gifts or graces or fauours besids how great soeuer they be Return retâ—rn my soul to him that only can satiat thee and without whom all things as thou seest are most bitter and vnpleasing to thee Only by Humility and Obedience can this be accomplished in thee Humble despise and subiect thy self in all without exceptions that he may take pitty on thee Indeed my Lord I desire thus to become for thee For I may truly say I was brought to nothing and I knew it not and I am as a beast before thee and yet allso I may say that I am allways with thee and thou with me by thy preuenting mercy It is a poore way â—o think to become honourable by standing vpon our points and yet this is that which now is most in practise in these dayes O how far is this from the practise of thy Saints and seruants who thought it their greatest honour to be despised neglected reuiled and contemned by all this world to the end they might become honourable in thy eyes my Lord who hath said that blessed are we when we are spoken ill of by men and persecuted by them Giue me this true humility I beseech thee which maketh soules capable of receauing this thy blessing promised to the humbleâ— and those which serue thee for Loue whose ioy thou thy self art and who follow thee by the way of the Crosse which seemeth indeed contemptible in their eyes who do not discern nor discouer the hidden treasure that lyeth in the confusion receaued and embraced with the armes of Loue by a faithfull soul who seeketh nothing but to imitate her beloued who died the ignominious death of the Crosse to purchace her loue and to make her of an enemy to become an intimate and inward friend of this our heauenly Bride-groome This pouerty and contempt I say which thy little ones do vndergo in this life my Lord God seemeth to the louers of this world to be an intolerable burthen but those that truly walk this way of Humility do find that in it lyeth the greatest comfort and sweetnes that can be found and enioyed in this world For thou bearest thy-self the burthen of the humble and what toucheth them toucheâ—h the apple of thyne eye Nothing dost thou think to deare for them seeing all thy gifts graces fauours and comforts which thy goodnes imparteth to them they vse only to thy praise and to the abasing of themselues vnder the feet of all thy creatures as most vnworthy of this thy mercy of all of them O what power hath an humble soul with thee while she becometh totally subiect to thee euen as if no power of willing or choosing were giuen her by thee which while she doth well it goes with her before thee and great is the liberty of such an one while she only desireth and seeketh thee For in doing so we do become capable in an extraordinary maner of enioying thee who though thou art not to be seene in this life as thou art yet an humble soul is not ignorant of thee For her faith is wonderfully cleered and great is the knowledg of a soul which by loue obtaineth the heauenly wisedome of thee which thou hast hidden from the wise and prudent of the world and reuealed it to thy little ones who sigh and long without ceasing to become vnited to thy Diuine Maiesty that thy Praise may be perfected in them to thy eternall Glory O how frequently and confidently do these soules fly vnto thee and how often are they euen amazed to see thy infinit sweetnes and most amiable beawty Nothing is so present to them as is this their Lord God yea my God such a knowledg of thee doth Loue caus in an humble soul that it maketh her for a tyme neither to see feele yea nor to think of any thing besides thee but this in this vale of teares is not of long continuance and hath many interruptions by â—eason of the strife between our spirit and our three enemies the world the flesh and the diuel but yet thy grace is in all occasions neere to our soul and nothing shall blemish the purity thereof if we humbly adhere vnto thee and wholy mistrust our own forces as we well may and be confident in thee who art so mercifull and pittifull to those who presume not to haue any strength but thee This humble loue is able to go through all difficulties and to bear all burthens and to sustain all paines and disgraces becaus it seeketh only thee for her wittnes who art her glory her honour and her crown most neer and deare to her yea euen more present then she is to herself and more hers then she is her own and consequently being wholy forgetfull of herself she only seeketh and intendeth thy praise and glory my Lord God the peace of her hart and the comfort of her soul. It seemeth to a soul at first that by denying forsaking neglecting and despising herself she shall vndergo a most grieuous Martyrdom but by approaching to thee my God and conuersing with thee in a
most louing and tender maner and beseeching thy assistance in all her streightnesses and necessities she findeth this way of Abnegation sweet aboue all the delights of the world For by rectifying our will and conforming it in all to thyne we walk an easy way and find a â—ast of the ioy which they feele who are in heauen vnited to thee for all eternity with whom lett vs praise thee for euer and euer Amen Amen I beseech thee THE XII CONFESSION SI dedexit homo omnem substantiam domus sâ—ae pro Dilectione quasinihil despiciet eam If any Man shall giue aâ— the substance of his how 's for Loue as if it were nothing He shall dispise it O my Lord and my God to whom only all Loue is due Behold I desire with all my hart to giue all for this thy Loue. But alas what hath thy poore seruant to giue thee Verily nothing that may deserue this thy Loue as a requitall it being aboue all I am or can suffer or do What can I giue thee seeing I haue nothing but what I haue receaued of thee If I giue thee my body and soul what is that in comparison of what I owe vnto thee them indeed I haue consecrated to thee but as due to thee by right not as before appertaining to me vnlesse I â—ould vsurp that which I was to restore to thee What then shall I giue â—hee for this thy loue so much desired and sighed after by me If I reflect vpon my selfe I haue nothing to giue to thee But shall I in this my extream â—ouerty and nothing despair of gaining and obtaining this most desirable Loue of thee which reioyceth my soul euen to name and speak of to thee No No I will not feare to obtain it of thee For if that which I haue and am be as indeed it is short of deseruing this fauour from thee which is of being indeed one of those who seek desire and loue only thy selfe and all others meerly for thee yet I will giue thy-self to thee who art all my ioy and the only desire and treasure of my hart By thy-self I will praise thee and in thee I wilâ— hope to be transformed into that loue which shall be swallowed vp in thee for all eternity Only to loue thee was my soul created and only by being turned wholy into loue can my soul be truly happy What can my soul desire out of â—hee seeing thou art only Good and the most incomprehensible beawty which the Angells are neuer satisfyed with beholding being infinitly delighted while they are wholy turned into the pure loue and Praise of thee We heer in this vale of teares do sigh with teares in our eyes longing to enioy thee and to be freed from the occasions of offending thy sweet Mercy We I say sigh and make our moane to thee while it is dayly said to our soul where is thy God Yea euen I say so speaking to thee where art thou my Lord and when shall I without all mean be vnited to thee that my loue may be intierly bestowed vpon thee and nothing but thy selfe liue and raign in me that without ceasing I might Praise and Adore thee the most glorious and amiable Maiesty to whom all knees ought to bow and prostrat we ought to acknowledg our meere dependance of thee O how plaine dost thou sometimes shew it me that I am nothing and lesse then nothing while I stand before thee neither can any thing be by iustice due to me otherwais then by thy meere mercy if I should neuer so faithfully serue and praise thee For what can they challenge of thee who were not able so much as to moue or be without thee much lesse do any good or suffer any thing purely for the loue of thee Giue me therefor that I may haue to giue vnto thee seeing by my selfe I am not able according to my desire to loue and praise thee by thy-self without ceasing I will praise and loue thee and in thy mercy and grace shall my soul hope to become truly pleasing to thee heere I will by faith adhere to thee and by loue my soul shall both day and night aspire vnto thee till at last by the merits of thy death Passion death shall be swallowed vp in victory In the meane time lett the loue of true Charity instruct me which is more strong then death that I may faithfully serue thee though it be not yet admitted me to enioy thee Lett me rest in nothing but thee and lett thy name be my defence and comfort which to hear and behold doth aboue all earthly things delight and refresh me amidst the stormes of temptations which daily assault me O my God indeed thou art that vnchangeable light which I euer come to consult with in all my afflictions and necessities and beholdâ— to my vnspeakeable comfort and strength I heare thee giuing answers by saying this and commanding that and this I do by resorting to thee often This is that which delighteth me and I fly as speedily to this pleasure as I iustly may from all the actions which are imposed vpon me euen by necessity it self and it exceedingly â—eioiceth me to sitt down and sigh after thee and by speaking and writing to and of thee to become at least for that short time forgettful of all things besids thee This is that which maketh the grieuous but then of flesh and bloud tolerable to me in which liuing my soul by sin cometh often to my grief aboue all other miseries wounded to thee crauing and beseeching for thy own-sake that I may neuer faile to beg and find mercy of thee whom to offend is the only misery that can in this life befal me and no pain or difficulty is feared by me saue so farr as it may considering my extreame frailty be a meanes to make me offend thee O Lord do not reiect me though I haue neuer done any good and am so farr from truly louing thee I will now take the aduiâ—e giuen me to fly be silent and quiet and I will howerly come to learn the song of Loue and Praise of thee teach me to know my self and to know thee I desir that wisdome which despiseth all for loue of thee and only that knowledg do I wish for that securely guideth a soul towards thee and into thee Those that loue thee and seek only to please thee are those which haue a sight in part of what in heauen we shall enioy cleerely for all eternity O what knowledge doth a truly louing soul obtain of thee and how much is her faith confirmed in the greatnes beawty and infinitnes of thy Maiesty but alas they are drawn down by the weight of their corruptible flesh and sometimes euen forgett what they haue with the eyes of their soul seen and learnt of thee and sometimes foolishly think they are something till they feele the effect of this their misery and offend thee
through their pride and forgettfullnes of their own nothing and of the greatnes of thy Maiesty which pride aboue all things deliuer me from I beseech thee becaus it makes soules so odious before thy self and all that loue thee Lett me giue all Glory to thee who without any desert of myne hast thus sweetly with Grace preuented me for which be thou euer by all Praised and Adored Amen THE XIII CONFESSION O Lord whose Power Maiesty and Wisedome haue no end haue mercy on me sinner and giue me leaue to speak vnto thee my God and aske thee whither men are pleasing to thee becaus they abound with human knowledg And behold thou affirmest no but vnhappy are they who can pearce into all things if they be ignorant of thee Lett me therefor loue and then I shall not be ignorant of that knowledg which maketh soules so pleasing in thyne eyes to wit knowledge of thee and my self O Loue which in lightnest soules and inflamest harts wâ—th chast loue flow into my soul This loue is honourable wisedome and though the enioyers thereof be accounted fooles by the wise of this world yet thou hast another opinion of them and their humble soules find much fauour in thy pure eyes my God! With this Loue did those abound of whom S. Paul speaketh that they went vp and down in goats skinnes needy despised hidden in dennes and caues of whom the world was not worthy yet some of thy Saints became very honourable and glorious euen in the eyes of the world the which was forced to acknowledge thee great in and by them and there was no resisting of thy wisedome speaking by them amongst which of these thy seruants was the great S. Augustin Doctor and light of thy Church a most ardent louer of thee my God Hee in those books of his that I haue seene turneth his speaches so to thy Maiesty that his words thereby become sweeter then ordinary and while he declareth his own misery he giueth to vnderstand to vs thy most aboundant mercy that all that desire to loue thee my Godâ— may being inuited by him praise thee with him and for the fauour shewed by thee to him O that all to whom thou offrest the fauour of bestowing on them thy diuine Loue if they would after sinning by true Humility dispose themselues for it would become by his example gratefull to thee and loue thee as thou wouldst by them be beloued O how soon dost thou by thy Grace wipe out the sinnâ—â— of such who now detesting their former il liues do striue by humble loue to become grateâ—ull to thee for thy preuenting Mercy O Lord my God though thou hast forgiuen me much yet I am farr from louing thee much Those who now enioy thee that haue heertofor beene sinners as I be they Intercessors to thee for meâ— and be thou euer praised for thy infinit mercy by all thy Maiesties creatures for euer anâ— euer Amen THE XIV CONFESSIONâ— O Lord my God who sweetly disposest all things giue thy poore contemptible creature leaue to speake vnto thee who art the only desire of my soul and my hope from my youth and entierly beloued of my hart To thee I will speak and write not as to one a far of but to stirr vp my soul to Loue thee alone and to draw occasions out of all things to praise and exalt thee whose mercies are aboue all thy works To whom should I make my moane in all my miseries but to thy self who art my God and All and who art neerer to me then I am to my self To whom should I go to be instructed but to the fountain of all wisedome Behold men change their mindes and almost euery man differeth in opinion from another in matters that are indifferent and so great is my ignoranâ—e and blindnes naturally that vnâ—esse thou instruct me I shall all waies â—auer and neuer come to any true â—erfection of knowledg They stand at â—oo great a hazard who confide in â—hemselues and cast not their hope â—holy vpon thee All creatures are vnstable and those that seeke not â—hee aboue all creatures but putt their trust more in men then in thee will find no true peace in their soules O that I did truly Loue for by Loue only my soul shall becom capable of vnderstanding truth Loue is humble â—eaceable subiect to thee in all things The soul that loueth thee is more conuersant in heauen then on earth and what heere she of necessity must admit of serues to her rather as a cessation then any consolation The soul that Loues findeth occasion in all and by all things to praise thee my God and to humble it self Such are willingly subiect for thee and do see how odious it is to thee to see that subiects should contemn contradict or withstand thâ— power in Superiors and make theiâ— imperfection a colour for our sinneâ— If it be right between our soules anâ— thee we shall gladly obey thee speaâ—ke thou or ordain thou by whom thoâ—â— pleasest Teach me therefor to obey for thou only canst instruct me whâ— true humble Obedience is If thou dâ— not teach me I may perhaps giue to Caesar what is tâ—yne and deny to giue Caesar what is due to him by thy will Let me obey therefor for theeâ— and in order to thy will and with an internall regard of thee whose due is all the subiection and loue that can be giuen by my poor soul. Open the eyes of my soul that I may see what thou exactest in all things Instruct me by whom and in what maner thoâ— pleasest So I may but know what thy will and pleasure is it suffizeth thy poore seruant Giue me grace to obey thee my God with all that Loue thee for euer Amen THE XV. CONFESSION O Lord my God what soul that truly loues thee can complain what difficulties soeuer she endures or how great a desolation soeuer obscures her soul or how great paines soeuer she sustaines seeing thou whom she loueth more then her life and self art always the same beholding with an amorous and louing eye the louing soul afflicted by thee or by thy permission rather to try her fidelity then to oppresse her with such a burthen that might separate her from her only beloued for seeing nothing is dreaded by her but to be seperated from her God she holding humility and confidence thou O Lord wilt neuer permit her to be ouercome For thou makest the quarrel thyne own thus fought by vs and the victory ours though indeed gained by thee not by our own selues O how happy am I in thy Power and Glory Verily though I were to return to my own nothing yet I could not account my self void of an infinit happines seeing my God who is more mine then â— am my own would remain and be the same in all Wisedome and Maiesty Thâ—s is the repose of my labour and the crown of my glory in which I will exult in my greatest
calamities and miseries O Loue lett me liue in and to thee and dy to all created things whatsoeuer O Loue Loue liue raign and wholy possesse my soul Consider not O my God so much what I am and haue beene as what I desire to be O Lord my God and all my Good THE XVI CONFESSION O Lord my God Father of the poor and true comforter of all afflicted soules be mercifull to my desolate hart and stirre it vp to perfect loue of thee that I may simply seek thee and sigh after thee my beloued absent and not for the sorrow I feele at the present Lett me long to embrace thee with the armes of my soul and think it litle to endure any misery in body or soul to be at last admitted into the boosom of my Loue fairest and choicest of thousands Lett all fall down and adore my God the glory of my hart Lett the sound of his Praise be heard to sound and resound ouer all the earth O when shall my soul hauing transcended it self and all created things be firmely vnited to thee the beloued of my hart resting in thee not in thy gifts or graces and neither desiring nor taking any satisfaction in any work or exercise whatsoeuer but in all paines temptations contempts deâ—olations pouerties and miseries either of body or mind conforming my self to thy sweet will for time and eternity who as iustly as euer thou didst any thing mayst condemne my soul eternally to hell from which nothing but thy meere mercy were able to saue and deliuer me and dayly I should incurr this sentence if thou didst not out of thy goodnes euer help and protect me thy sinfull seruantâ— This only I desiâ— this only I ask that I may in all things praise thee and that I may desire no comfort but to be able without all comfort human or diuine to be true to thee and not offend thy Haâ—osty THE XVII CONFESSION TO whom but to thee my Lord should I fly in all temptations and Crosses whose armes are open to embrace all repentant sinners and whose hands are lifted vp to giue a sweet benediction to all in misery If I either had or desired to haue any friend or comforter but thee I could not with confidence fly into thy bosâ—ome for succour in this which is now faln on me Iâ— euer thou hadst reiected any that hoped iu thee I might feare but as it is I will sing in my affliction with teaâ—es in myne eyes to thee and neuer leaue to hope in thine aboundant mercy Is it much that I serue thee whom all creatures are bound to serue and we are so happy in being subiect to thee that no libâ—râ—y is to be compared to the happines of depending of thee THE XVIII CONFESSION WHEN thou art present O my God then my hart reioiceth and in peaâ—e singeth thy praises but when thou hidest thy beawtifull face my soul becometh exceedingly obscured and troubled yea euen ouerwhelmed in darknes and misery in which case long remaining which is most iustly permitted by thee for my humiliation what shall I do to lift vp my soul to thee but as one sick with loue of her absent beloued to speak with him it is impossible the distance of place is so great but yet she may hear others who speak of him which a little mitigateth her misery though while he is absent al is irksome to her becaus the delay afflicteth her hart But yet is she without all comfort No for she may write to and of him and if none will carry it to her deare beloued it shall remain by her that he may see at his return how she languished for loue and could take comfort in nothing that all creatures could offer or propose to her soul while she possessed not what she only desired her life by loue being more with her beloued then where she liued for which caus she heareth and yet mindeth not what is said vnles perhaps they treat feelingly of her absent loue and speak in his praise She seeth and yet cannot take comfort in what she beholdeth She sleepeth but her hart waketh and in fine while she cannot enioy her beloued nothing can satisfy her vnquiet hart Thus my God euen sensual and vnreasonable loue transporteth a reasonable soul But if naturall loue be of that force what doth that soul feel whom thou hast wounded with thy pure Loue And of what power is that loue that is seconded by thee who art the fountain of all true Loue and sweetnes What shall I say of a soul that hath tasted how sweet our Lord is Verily she yet liuing dieth a thousand deaths becaus she seeth herself so far from possessing thee my God whom none can see and liue nor none enioy as thou art in thy self till thou free her of the heauy and sinful burthen of flesh and bloudâ— And allthough thou dost admitt her longing and sighing after thee alone to I know not what nor can I expres the vnspeakable ioy and delights which I say thou some times admittest her to therein not like to the louers in this world who oftimes reiect where they are most beloued yet out of thy care of her thou suddainly turnest away thy face at which till she loue thee for thy self she will become troubled and too too impatient in the delay which thou makest of returning to her again the which if she bear with a resigned mind making thy will her law aboue all the desires of her hart and sitt solitary like the turtle doue thou willt in good time assuredly return and being absent wilt be present to hear her prayers and see her teares shed for the sorrow she conceiueth to offend thee her desired beloued whom she would loue withall her hart with all her soul and all her strength and praise thee day and night without ceasing as it beseemes a soul languishing with thy loue THE XIX CONFESSION REMEMBER O my God that thou madst me for to loue thee Why therefor dost thou permit me to offend so sweet a Goodnes Although none do find thee in an extraordinary maner in the bottome of their soules but those that serue thee my God for Loue and walk by the way of the Crosse yet I do confidently affirm that thy yoke and burthen thy Law and thy Crosse are not by far so heauy greeuous and burthen â—ome as be the painâ—ul wayes of â—in which seeme â—o be sweetned with some delightsâ— but in the hart it proueth more bitter then gall whereas thy yoke being born by a truly louing soul is many times heauy when thou leauest her thereby to shew her how little she can do or suffer of her self and that she may glory in thee and not in her own power and humble herself and not preferre herâ—elf before others when I say thou pleasest to leaue her thus as it were forlorne she feeleth indeed a great burthen and nothing can comfort her till thou her desired and only beloued
XXII CONFESSION O My Lord let all things praise thee Let thy iust will be our law Let subiects humbly obey in and for thee For inferiors contending and withstanding their Superiors in that thou wouldst haue them obey in is most odious in thine eyes and nothing they can do will please thee vnles they will heare thy voice as well by others as from thy self For it is not so much the greatnes of the action that thou regardest as the being don by vs in that maner thou wouldst haue it don by vs and in nothing can wee obey thee as wee ought to do vnles wee first regard and intend thee in that which by vs is accomplished and a Superior reflecting on his owne authority rather then on what in thy behalf he ought to exact in that case or cases and rather on what by his power he can command then on what according to thy pleasure were best to be done rathâ—r gouerneth in his owne power then in thine and the effect vnles it be very streight and right betweene his subiectâ— harts and thee will consequently be more human then diuine and the Superiors while sensible of their honour abusing the power giuen by thee doe yet loose what they would haue For their subiects often looking vpon rather what is defectiue in the Superior then vpon their owne duty both of them faile in their duties to thy dishonour who so sweetly hast disposed of all things if we did not peruert thine order with seeking not thee and thine honour but our own and our selues from which misery blesse vs I beseech thee for thine own sake that thou maisâ— be glorified both in the Commaunders and the Obeyers THE XXIII CONFESSION O How happy are those thou instructest in thy Law and in whom it goeth streight between their soules and thet For their only care is to please and praise thee in all things These humbly obey for thee and see how dangerous it is to resist thy will in any thing how little soeuer But very much must we striue to humble our selues if we desire to know and stand vnto the things that are exacted of vs by thee For nothing is able to inlighten our blindnes but thy Grace shining in an humble soul. If we knew neuer so much and could do wonders if we had neuer so great guifs of nature and grace yet could we not thereby become pleasing to thee vnles withall we were diligent in the exercise of true Humility O giue me this Guift For none of himsef is able to attain to it My God make me truly humble that I may be wholy thine Let me by Loue adhere to thee that all impediments may be remoued between my soul and thee Let all created things be to me as if they were not as to their becoming any impediment between my poor soul and thy Godnes that so I may not be hindred by any thing from being vnited to thee For this thou maidst our souls that by thy Grace we might return to thee whom by sinne we had straied from and that humbly seeking to Loue thee and vsing all things created only to this end that we may at last find and possesse â—hee who only art able to satiate vs and therefor miserable are we when we seek any things beside thee from which doing I beseech thee defend vs. Amen THE XXIV CONFESSION NOn in solo pane viuit homo sed in omni verbo quod procedit de ore Dei These are thine oâ—â— wordes my Lord â—hich I rehears beâ—ore thee to whomâ— powre out my hart and my soul â—ith vnspeakable ioy hoping that â—hy word shall be a light vnto my feete that I may auoid the ginnes and snares which the world the â—â—esh and the diuell doe lay to catch â—nd intrap my sinful and weak â—oul Thy words indeed are sweet because thou speakest Peace to the hart and giuest by them strength â—o the soul. It is well known to thee why I do thus dilate my self in speaking and writing to thee my Lord and my God rehearsing to thee to whom all things are manifest the desires intentions and afflictions or comforts of my hart For as thâ—uâ—ell â—ell knowst if I should not when â— enioy some more interior light set down in writing some thiugs which I may peruse at other times that â—re of obsurity I should be apt to forget to praise thee yea and eueâ— wither away with the grief and anguish which by thy sweet permission ouerwhelmeth my soul be thâ—â— blessed for all who take away 〈◊〉 beseech thee or giue as it best pleaâ—seth thee from thy poore seruantâ— only depriue me not of Graceâ— So I may Loue thee I care not whaâ— happeneth to me Let thy will be done for time and eternity Rooâ— out of my soul that pride whicâ— maketh me so far from being thaâ— thou wouldst haue mee to be My desire is great to Praise loue honour and truly serue thee but my power is so little that none hath been lesse faithfull to thee then I But where doth the liberality of thy infinite mercâ— extend it self more willingly theâ— where there is greatest pouerty anâ— misery Though I be poor yet mâ— Lord is rich though I be in al blindnesse as to the discerning of trutâ— yet my Lord is light it selfe To him therefore I will approach that in his light I may see light I will begge of thee that I may become capable of gloriyng in thy riches and then nothing shall be wanting to me seeâ—ng my Lord possesseth in himsâ—lfe all good things Be thou my Lord what â—hou art and I a miserable sinner casting mine eyes vpon the earth doe cry to thee to bee mercifull to my sinnes I sitting heere in the â—hadowe of death morne and lament that I haue made no more hast to conclude an euerlasting â—eague and peace with my Lord God to whom now my soul doth aspire day and night without ceasing O my Lord when I remember what â—hou hast done for me I faint and faile to see how vngratefull for it I haue been and am to thee What didst thou meane to helpe me and â—ecall me from my sinnes when I least thought of thee And not content with that thou didst also by means of a faithfull seruant of thine make my state which was so heauy â— burthen to me through my fault and ignorance to become so delightfull to me that I may and do truly acknowledg that thy yoke of Religion is sweet aboue all the deâ—lights and pleasures of the world and thy burthen so light that crosses paines afflictions internal and exâ—ternal born as thy burthen are most light and easie and cause more true peace to my hart then I can expres which be it said to thy honour and grant me to humble my self in al that I may grow stil more and more pleasing to thee who art the only desire of my hart and comfort of my soul. Let his instructions of whom
soul flying to thee for help and succour in the necessities wherein I daily languish For none didst thou euer reiect neither sick as witnes the Leapers and diuers others which were abhorred by men for their loathsom diseases nor the deformed nor the blind nor the lame nor the poor and contemptible no nor the sinners whose loathsome sinnes made their souls much more deformed in thy pure eyes then any discase could make a body in the eyes of the beholders But why do I presume to speak to my God in this simple maner verily my Lord only presuming of the most aboundant fountain of thy mercies do I thus refresh my soul with recounting these things before thee becaus these places in the Ghospel which treat so particularly of thy receauing and forgiuing sinners doth particularly appartain to me who hauing among them found grace in this kind before thee I do likwise in these things I read find that which putteth me in hope of the continuance of thy Mercy Behold I desire now to conuert my hart wholy to thee and to becom totally in all things subiect to thy Diuine Maiesty Let thy Grace affist me For it is not any thing I can do can saue me The Angel that hath care of me praise thee for me and assist me with his intercession for me Thy Mother hath been indeed a Mother to me for which be she honoured for all eternity as it beseemeth so great an humility to be she vouchsafing to take pitty on me poor miserable sinner for all which Praise be to thee my God and All for all eternity Amen THE XXVII CONFESSION PAtientia pauperum non peribit in finem The patience of the poor shal not perish in the end O Lord my God seeing the way of the Cross is the way that al in this life must walk of what state or dignity soeuer they be none exempted from suffering some in body by paines and sicknes some by pouerty and want of necessaries some by loss of friends some by the disloialty of such whom they confided in some by loss of their goods by fire wars and the like and some by their own indiscretion vnwarines and want of foresight falling into disgrace some by setting their affection where it is reiected grow desperate mad and some therby liuing in perpetual discomfort become woful murtherers of themselues some fortune frowning vpon them haue al things go contrary to their desire and in fine no place no person nor any condition can be free from suffering in this miserable life But shal we think this was ordained to be thus by thee by chance or becaus thou dost not loue what thou hast made No God forbid we should euer think so but that which made thee ordain it so was only to the end that we being proued or triedâ— as gold in the furnace should thereby become capable of thy pure loue the which if we could obtain easy would it be to suffer any thing which thou permittedst to happen vnto vs. For as for some of the Crosses which happen in this life we are the caus of them our selues and by them we not only suffer paine but also detriment in our souls becaus they proceed from our yeilding to sin and giuing way to our passions and in ordinat affections therby becoming a slaue to sensuality ouer which we should be absolute maisters if we did as we ought concur with thy grace And verily my God to whom I speak and write with much content to my soul thou by this meanes inlightning me with that diuine truth which leadeth in some sort to thy self and much inflameth my hart with a most ardent desire of thee the only desire of my soul to whom I1 aspire day and night without ceasing in my simple manâ—r Verily I say that I am ignorant how it is possible to proceed with any confidence or comfort in any thing if our foundatioÌ„ be not founded in thee by a sincere intention For til I resolued what difficulties soeuer ther by I endured to make thy wil mine owne and thy Disposition my consolation I found no stability in any thing or exercise whatsoeuer and since that time I haue found certeinty and quiet in all the vncerteinty of contrary occurrence For if thou be intended in al our actions what should we fearâ— For we only intending and desiring thy honour in all things how can we doubt but that this by thee in al things wil be accomplished seeing that which thou dost desire and wil we should seek and intend to wit they honour which is only aimed at by vs Can we imagin thou wilt saile on thy part we desiring to do what lyeth in vs No No but conâ—idently we may hope that nothing shal be wanting to vs and thou kwnowst my Lord God that when any thing happeneth which seemeth so to derogate from thy diuine honour that it greiueth my hart thou presently quietest me with these words saying to my soul. Vacate videte quoniam ego sum Deus exaltabor in gentibus exaltabor in terra Be quiet and see that I am God I shall be exalted among the Gentils and shall be exalted in the earth With these words I say thou comfortest my soul. For though I haue desired to make an exchange with â—hee that I may take only care to seeke thy honour in al things committing the care of my welfare to â—hâ—e yet in those things which happen as I think contrary to thy honour I ought to conforme my wil to thy sweet disposition or permission and not disquiet my soul vnder any pretence whatsoeuer For the quiet and humble hart is the place where thou delightest to dwell Thou who art the God of Peace giue me that â—rue loue of thee which only bringeth true Peace and blesse this thy little flock and especially those in it â—ho are by their patience and discretion helpers and furthers to true peace and concord in this poor Conuent of thine My most deaâ—e Lady â—hy Mother and mine by thy sweet Mercy pray to thee for this hous of hers as also our good Angels â—ho haue care of vs. Saint Michael â—ho was so zealous of his honour Saint Raphael who guides vs in the way of thy Law Sanit Gabriel who brought vs the happy tidings of thy coming into this world to reconcile vs sinners to thy heauenly Father Our most holy Father S. Benedict our Mother S. Scholastica as also S. Ioseph S. Iohn S. Thomas and S. Gertrude in whose hart â—hou didst delight to dwell and also my beloued Father S. Augustin whom thou hast giuen me in a particular maner to be a help to me in doubts and feares and an incouradgement by his books to hope for pardon for my innumerable sins and as a fire are al his words to inflame me to seek after and aspire to thy diuine loue and to wish only that that may wholy posses my soul which grant for his
sake as also thine owne who art Blessed for euer Amen THE XXVIII CONFESSION INCINA cor meum Deus in testimonia tua Ecce concupui mandata tua in aequitate tua viuifica me-Incline my God my hart to thy testimonies and in thy truth quicken my soul. For behold my soul doth exceedingly couet to performe thy law For thy law is truth and the effect thereof is Iustice and Peace and Ioy in the holy Ghost When I remember how I haue strayed from thee by sin I become ashamed before thâ—e But when I consider thy Mercy I hope stil notwithstanding what is past to become through thy grace which so sweetly preuented me pleasing to thy Diuine Maiesty O Lord inlighten my soul obscuredâ— by sin and ill customes inlighten it that I may walk the way of Iustice and Truth which is the way wherof thou speakest by Esaie the Prophet in which a foole cannot err as he affirmethâ— O let me by true Humility become a fool according to his meaning let me become as a bittle child that I may be capable of entring into the Kingdom of Heauen Certeinly we ought to liue so subiect to thee that we haue no election of any thing as pretending our selues for time or eternity And also we ought to haue in our soul such a relation to thee that in thy ligâ—t in thy truth and wholy according to thy will we perform all we do and out of that respect omit what we omit O my God let me I say walk this way of Loue which knoweth not how to seck it-self in any tâ—ing whatsoeuer Let this Loue wholy posses my soul and hart which I beseech thee may liue and moue only in and out of a pure and sincere loue to thee who aboue all ought to be loued and desired Let this fire which thou camst into this world to send and willedst it should burn consume me wholy into it self that forgetful of my self and al created things I may be mindfull of thee my Lord and my God It is thy pâ—omise that where sin â—ath abounded graâ—e shall superbound that the riches of thy Merâ—y may appear and shew it-self to the Glory of thy holy Name which Mercy I beseech thee extend itself â—o me that I may praise thee for euer and euer O that thy pure loue were â—o grounded and established in my hart that I might sigh and pant â—ithout ceasing after thee and be â—ble in the strength of this thy Loue â—o live without alâ— comfort and conâ—olation human or diuine therby â—o become the more conformable to â—hee the beloued of my soul O how â—appy are they that truly loue tâ—ee â—ertainly whatsoeuer they suffer it â—â— very tolerable to them beâ—aus he or whose loue they suffer is thâ—ir helâ—er Indeed my Lord thou art a hiden God but yet not so hidden from â—ur soul but that in some sort we â—aue therin according to our poor â—apacities not only a tast but also sight of thee for as euen thou thy self hast said Blessed are the cleane of hart for they shall see God O sight to be wished desired and longed forâ— becaus once to haue seen thee is to haue learnt al things Nothing can bring vs to this sight but loue But what loue must it be Not a sensible loue only a childish loue a loue which seeketh it-self more then the beloued No but it must bâ— an ardent loue a pure loue a couradgious loue a loue of Charity anâ— humble loue and a constant loue not worn out with labours noâ— daunted with any difficulties O Lord giue this loue vnto my soul that â— may neuer more liue nor breath buâ— out of a most pure loue of thee my All and only Good let me loue thee foâ— thy self and nothing els but in anâ— for thee Let me loue nothing in steeâ— of thee For to giue al for loue is â—â— most sweet bargain for Loue is as stronâ— as death O that this thy loue might floâ— in such aboundance into the harâ— of al capable therof that the sonâ— of thy loue and Praise might contiâ—nually be heard through out al the earth O what do we do louing vanity and seeking a lye What do â—â—e abusing the most noble capacity of our souls by desiring that which passeth away like smoak What do â—â—e louing that which is more changeable then the Moon Can any â—hing satiate our harts but our God Can we find true repose out of him â—s any thing worthy of our loue but â—hat Goodnes which is loue it-self and â—hom the more we loue the more we â—re able to loue becaus for loue he made vs capable of loue But alas my God my soul was in honour â—nd I knew not it I was compared â—o beasts and by sin became like to â—hem or worse then they Is this my equital for al thy loue Is this exâ—usable that my soul made by theeâ—o â—o be delighted with the food of â—ngels which is loue should delight â—â—-self with the bread of swine O is â—y hart able to rehears this before â—â—ee and not through excessiue grief â—reak in sunder Could I in my nature not abide to be diâ—loyall to one whom I found to be a faithful friend to me and can I endure to remember my disloyalty to my God Could I with ioy vndergo for my friend disgrace and difficulty and can I endure nothing for my God Was the absence of a deare friend intolerable to me and can I abide to see my self cease at any time to sigh and long after my God O no my God let that be far from me I heere renounce before heauen and earth al inordinate affections to creâ—tures Place with thy own hands tâ—â— loue in their roomâ— that it expelling thence al â—hat now is therein dâ—â—pleasing to tâ—ine eyes thou maâ—â— thy selâ— wholy posses me giuing and distributing my affections and disposing the passions of my haâ—â— according to thy sweet will which only is iust only holy and true iâ— it-self C how sinceare then are oâ— affections when we loue our neigâ—â—bour only in and for thee Theâ—â— we pitty not one and are hard harted to another according to the inclination of our peruerse nature but behold thee in al and consequently willingly serue and assist al for thy loue then we do not shew our seues meek only to our friends but also to those by whom we suffer most contradiction and gladly vpon all occasions extend our charity For there is no true friendship but that which is founded vpon thee and which is maintained without impediment to thy loue This is only the loue of Charity which Charity knoweth not how to repine to be angry to be exceptious to be inconstant to be troublesom to be suspicious or iealous for it regardeth thee in al and desireth thee aboue al It taketh al in good part it wondreth not to see men exceed in words finding it-self so often to offend in
deeds it beareth al things it hopeth al things and it confideth in thee aboue al things it wisheth only that thy will may be performed in al and by al creatures by which meanes it retaineth true peace in al that happeneth O giue me this â—hy loue which worketh such wonderful effects in an humble soul Giue it to me and I wil aske thee no more Let it posses my soul that nothing but thy self may be loued or desired by me Can thy Goodnes find in thy hart to see me thus languishing for want of thy loue seeking my selfâ— in al things and not being able out of true loue to suffer any thing It is true thoâ— hast made my soul to loath all created things and hast shewed me most plainly that all is vanity and affliction of spirit saue to loue thee and that nothing is permanent vnder the Sun â—and that vain and inconstanâ— is euery creature liuing so that 〈◊〉 cannot me thinks if I would so am I held by thee desire the friendship or fauour of any creature but this is not sufficient for me anâ— therefor take pitty on me begging and beseeching grace and mercy oâ— thee It suffiseth not me that my souâ— refuseth to be comforted but I musâ— also remember my God that with his loue my soul may be inflamed Art thou ignorant that my soul hauing had through thy sweet Mercy a tast of thee cannot find comfort in any thing but in inioying of thee O no this is as al other things are most manifest to thee and if thou wouldst not haue had me thus for loue to importune thee thou wouldst not haue made me incapable of being satisfied without thee This which I say I do not speak of presumption but out of the vrgent desir of my hart â—hich hath resolued to conuert it self wholy to thee thou who didst bid me to aske hast promised I shall reâ—eaue thou who didst bid me knock â—ast promised it shall in time conâ—enient be opened to meâ— which â—owre O my Lord when shall it be â—hat without ceasing I may praise â—hee and neuer any more offend thee â—Til which be granted me I wil sigh â—fter thee and in my hart in the bitâ—ernes of my soul I will cal vpon â—hee and somtimes I wil also being enabled and inuited thereunto by thee sing loue songs to my well-beloued who is euer within the hearing of meâ— For thou art not like the louers oâ— this world vpon whom that loue yet which is only due to thee is often bestowed heere to day and â— far off to morrow No no thus iâ— is not between thee and thy louers Foâ— though thou triest them that theiâ— loue may become more pure yeâ— thou seeing them begin to faile vnâ—der their burthen dost quickly caâ—â— thine eyes vpon them and with tâ—â— sweet dew of thy Grace refresheâ— them that by these changes theiâ— loue may grow more strong and bâ— firmely established in thee who arâ— that only thing which is only necesâ—sary for me and which only I reâ—quire of thee Let this thy loue worâ— in and by me becaus thou rewardeâ— no works but thine own and let mâ— loue thee as thou wouldst be belouâ— by me I cannot tell how much loâ—â— I would haue of thee becaus I woulâ— loue thee beyond all that can be imaâ—gined or desired by me be thou in this as in al other things my chooser for me who art my only choice most deare to me Glorious things are said of thee my Lord and God the most absolute and amiable beawty the more I shall loue thee the more wil my soul desire thee and to suffer for thee Let me loue thee for thy self and not any thing insteed of thee and let my whole substance by thy loue and Praise be consumed in me that I may return pure vnto thee who be by al in Heauen and Earth blessed and loued fer euer and euer Amen THE XXIX CONFESSION O My God my only beloued me thinks I heare thee sweetly checking my soul with these words when vnder what pretence soeuer I pretend by my care or vnreasonable solicitude that more then One thing is necessary to my soul therby falling into that multiplicity whicâ— is so apt to dimme and obscure our soul and so contrary to a pure tending to Thee our only good and to a remouing of al impediments between our souls and thee by transcending al created things whatsoeuer these words I say thou often speakest to my hart Quem quaeris mulier viuentem cum mortuis Whom dost thou seek woman one liuing amongst the dead But Lord I answer tâ—ee now in al desir and humâ—lity of hart that I seek nothing but thy felf no guift no comfort or sweetnes no friends but thy self and thy heauenly Cittezens no power but of wishing that thy wil may be my law no honour but thine no consolation but that I may in solitude and silence al the dayes of my liâ—e be able to liue without all consolation human or diuine no recreation by conuersation or other business or imployments but so far as it is necâ—ssarâ— to beare vp my spirit to attend vnto tâ—ee more seriously at conuenient times and rather let al necessary distraction by help of thy Grace serue as a meere cessation then by the least affection to them or comfort in them they should become an impediment to my aspiring to thee For this is a rule thou knowst hath been gâ—uen me by a faithfull seruant of thy diuine Maiesty who indeed gaue me most generall iâ—structions that we might not be â—yed to him or any other creature but might being left more free to thee fly the more freely with wings of Diuine loue which carieth a soul euen in human flesh aboue all that is not thy very self of such force is thy Grace concurring with our will which is by naâ—ure capable of an â—nfinite extent towards thee when as it neither seeketh intendeth desireth willeth nor resteth in any â—hingâ— but theâ— Tâ—is I say was his generall rule that if we did not do â—hings with affection they would cause vs no hurtfull distraction which grant may be so vnto me I beseech thee who am not able without much and often diuerting my ind to indifferent things to attend to thee in my soul at other fitting times and this by reason of my great weaknes of body and head Let al this imperfection in mee humble me and let it be no impediment to my truly louing seruing praising thee and adhering only to thee which is my only desire by al I doâ— or omit Let not my greâ—uous sinnes past or present too much deiect or trouble mee but let them serue to humble my soul and be a meanes totally to subect it to thee and al others so far as it is thy wil it should be Let me praise thee in al whose prouidence and care hath been so infinit great towards me thy most contemptible creature the which
And yet thy Goodnes compelled me to enter O who wil giue me power and ability sufficiently to extol thy most a boundant Mercy which in this and al other things thy sweet Goodnes hath shewed towards me Blessed infinitly be my Lord by al his creatures My only study shal be to praise thee and my only desir that I may be faithful in al crosses and miseries to thee my only beloued Let thy Grace flow I beseech thee vpon thy seruant who with so much care paines and solicitud for thy sake endeauoured to win my hart wholy to thee Remember him vnto good according to al he hath done for me He hath truly made me to see and feel though through my great fault and ignoraÌ„ce I before thought otherwise that thy yoke is sweet and thy burthen light which now I shal alâ—o being conuinced by experience acknowledge before heauen and earth to thine honour and my confusion who durst presume to think otherwise Pardon I beseech thee therefor for thinâ— own sake this my sinne among the rest which are innumerable and let me heerafter be a true seruant and child of thine â—ho be blessed by al for euer and euer Amen THE XXXVIII CONFESSION SEmper gaudete sine intermissione orate Always reioyce Pray without ceasing O my Lord and my God They that truly loue thee may indeed iustly always rejoyce and without intermission praise thee But I that daily and â—owrly offend thy diuino Maiesty ought to weep and lament my sins bitterly sitting solitary and making my moane to thee my God who art only able to help and comfort me in this misery O when shal I become truly humble Teach me Humility Obedience and Patience enlighten my soul obscured by my pride and other sins that I may loue thy Law and humbly embrace thy blessed wil in al things O let me be truly subiect to thee as thou wouldst haue me and euen to al others alsoâ— as it is exacted by thee of me Wo be to my soul if daily it become not more and more obedient ro tâ—ee and to others for thee Giue me true Discretion For no vertue hath more of vertue in it then it partaketh oâ— this diuine vertue Giue me true Wisedom which maketh souls so pleasing to thee and which thou impartest to the humble and those that serue thee for loue and that seek thee aboue al gifts and created things whatsoeuer O loue loue flow into my soul that I may sigh and pant after my God alone and praise this my beloued for al eternity Amen THE XXXIX CONFESSION O Deus meus quis similis tibi O my God who is like to thee Who wil giue mâ— that wiâ—hout ceasingâ— may adhere to thee and with an amourous aspect regard thee in al things not seeking my-self nor the pleasing of any creature for it self in any thing I do or omit Desolatione desolata est omnis terra quia nullus est qui recogiter corde With desolation al the land is made desolate Because there is none who considereth in the hart O my God what wonder is it that we liue in blindnes if we come not to thee who art the only true ligâ—t What do we with souls and harts capable of loue if we do not by them aspire to thee with al our strength and adhere to thee the only true and perfect good What is sweet what is to be desired but thee my Lord who art beawty it self What couldst thou do more then make out souls to thine own image and liknes and able â—o be satisfied with nothing but thy self O misery of al miseries the greatest that thou shouldst be offended and forgotten by vs and that any thing should posses our souls besids thy loue which only can make vs happy and pleasing in thine eyes Wo is me who haue straied from the fountain of liuing water by which my â—oul is dryed vp and euen withereth away in thirst after transitory things Change this my thirst by thyâ—weet â—weet grace and Mercy to a thirsting after thee my God the glory of my hart and the peace and comfort of my soul. O let me loue or not liue and let me in al by al and aboue al praise thee who art bleâ—sed for al eternity Amen THE XL. CONFESSION MY soul blesse thou our Lord and al things within me his holy name Al spirits praise my God for euer and euer magnify him I wil declare to thee my God in al things how it stands with me that I may hope and be strengthened in and by thee I wil beg what is neceâ—sary for me to please and serue thee For what canst thou deny to them who haue no hope or comfort but only in thee He who giueth himself giueth al and when thou deniest what we ask it is that thou mayst giue tâ—â— own self more fully to vs thy poor seruants and that impediments may be the more truly remoued between our souls and thee Simplify my soul that it may return to thee adorn me with â—â—ine own merits that I may not appeare naked of good befâ—re thee and supply my defect in praising and louâ—ng thee To thee my God al my interior powers shal aspire day and night without ceasing Let me draw no breath but therby to sigh and pant after thee the liuing fountain Let al actions which by Obedience or necessity be imposed on me be vndertaken and done by me with an inâ—erior regard of thee that I may truly in them obey and seek thee the most amiable beloued of my hart and soul let them be as a cessation or pausing for the time that I may afterward with the more force and sauour at times conuenient attend to thee in the bottom of my soul and therein praise thee Amen THE XLI CONFESSION COme al ye that haue vowed your bodies and souls to our Lord Come let vs loue Let vs giue al not only once but euery moment to him that made vs to bestow on vs himself Let vs not only loue but be wholy transformed into the â—iuine loue Let vs liue to him â—lone leauing al others for his sake only Let vs charitably interpret the words and deeds of those with whom we liue and if any faâ—l in that which he ought to perform giue vs grace my God to remembeâ— how weak human nature is for good and how great is our frailty as to a sin and how soon we also if thou didst not protect vs might fail in a more shameful maner O my God thou hast commaunded vs to loue our neighbour as our self and behold we either loue them inordinatly to our impediment of louing thee or els we are short towards them of â—rue Charity From both these errours deliuer the soul of thy poor seruant and grant me to loue al as tâ—ou wouldst haue me Let no difficulties they cause to me make me in them the less to behold and consider thee Verily if there were no other reward to be
giuen to those who for thy sake requite euil with good then the true peace which they find in their souls by it it were most worthy our labour But thou my Lord reseruest great reward in the next life for those who for bitternes caused to them by others do return sweetnes vnto â—hem yea nothing is more pleasing and acceptable to thee then that we by humility and patience do pacify those who are offended with vs. But alas my God I wil speak and wil not be silent in the eares of my Lord and with teares in mine eyes wil bewail my sins and offences I â—now there is no more true loue in our souls to our neighbours then we are dead to our selues and liue vnto thee What therefor can I think of my poor soul so barrein of al true vertue If I loue thy very-self so little as indeed I do where wilt thouâ—ind â—ind in me that Charity which by thy law I owe for thee towards them Verily when I consider how destitute I am of al that might make me pleasing in thine eyes I cannot but tremble and fear Yet again taking hart remembring thy Mercy towards me I find I haue cause of hope thou being goodnes itself whose nature is to desir to impart it-self which if thou wilt be pleased to do to my poor soul I shal notwithstanding al my sins become yet in thee and by thee most happy towards which I beseech thee grant me grace to dispose my-self for thy only honour who be Blessed for euer Amen THE XLII CONFESSION O Lord my God what Mercy art thou pleased to shew to my sinful soul Is it possible after so many abominable offeÌ„ces that thou shoudst thus particularly fauour me If it were euer possible to be lawful for thy creatures to exclaim against thee and taxe thee oâ— iniustice it might be admitted them in this thou hast done and doest â—or me the most sinnful and most contemptible of al thy Maiesties creatures If â— had euer donâ— any good they perhaps would not wonder at theâ— but as it is theâ— cannot but at least admire thy infinit sweetnes and Mercy For what sin is there I haue not comitted at least by my wil. But the greater thy Mercâ— the more I hope the honouâ— and praise wil be which thy seruanâ— wil yeild to tâ—ee for itâ— and do thâ—â— thy self I beseech theâ— supply ouâ— defect in this and al other things so that perfect praise may be yeilded to thee in al and by al for euer and euer Amen THE XLIII CONFESSION LOrd with great ioy I desir to celebrat this diuine Solemnity of thy Resurrection Thou hast shewed thy-self in al formes so that the weakest capacities might in some sort apprehend thee who art incomprehensible Thou appearedst a child that thy little ones might conceiue more easily some things that might moue them to loue thee and being as it is were astonished at tâ—y loue towards vs and at thy infinit humility we might thirst after thy example and loue only thee For al thou hast done or said is for our comfort and instruction What hast thou left vndone which might any way further our good if we would but concur with thy Grace But we streying from thee how can we choose but be blind For only in thy light can we see and discern that which only importeth vs to see and know to wit to know thee therby to loue thee and to know our-selues therby to humâ—ble vs in al things before thy Diuine Maiesty For nothing but true Humility can make vs gracious in thine eyes So much as we truly humble our selues so much and no more do we encrease in our loue to thee O how peaceful amidst al storms is the souls of the humble how fauoured by thee though they be dispised by the whole world They are indeed often neglected by men but most conuersant with thee and thine Angels and Saints in heauen Neuer was there euer such acquaintance loue and friendship between any in this world as there is between thy Goodnes and an humble soul that seeketh thee aboue al graces and gifts whatsoeuer and transcendeth al created things that she may adhere to thee in the bottom of her soul. Verily it is so strange that it puttetâ— the heauently Court into admiration that we that haue dedicated our souls wholy to thee should loue seeke or desir any thing besids thee But alas human frailty as they wel know is very great and therefor they also cannot choos but pitty and pray for vs and especially we women silly to all things that this â—orld admires and therefor most contemptible of al creatures if we do not labour for the loue of thee â— the which to do thou dost as willingly enable vs as thou dost the wise of the world if we hinder not thy grace who despisest not any thing thou hast made How much are we to be therefor blamed and condemned if we labour not I say for thy loue Yea to shew thy power thou hast been pleased many times to bring a silly woman louing thee to that wisedom that no creature by wit or industry could attain to the same But where my Lord haue these thy Spouses in these dayes placed there harts Where I say seeing they seek and desir so much the â—auour and praise of the world to haue the friendship of men and by letters and toâ—ens to draw their harts from thee vnto them notwithstanding as good reason it prospereth not with vs in such doing for they by this meanes seeing our defect in louing thee cannot confide in them who are not true to thee but coÌ„trary compare vs to those who profer loue to al and yet as we ought for thee loue none O Lord remoue these scandals from thy Church Let vs though we cannot serue thee in great matters yet let vs I say haue no â—arts but to loue thee no tongues but to praise thee nor eyes but to behold thy creatures as things inuiting our souls to loueâ— sigh pant and â—uen languish after tâ—ee No eares but to heare what is thy will and in fine not to liue but in and for tâ—ee and for thy loue to be subiect to euery human creature as far as it is exacted of vs by thee Giue that humilityâ— which by thy blessed Apostle Saint Paul thou requirest in vs that I may willingly submit my-self to the power of Superiors set ouer me by â—hee It is true I see and hear daily â—hat scandals what discorders and â—hat confusions arise in Communities for want oâ— due submission in subiects to their Superiors but alas my God certeinly a chief cause therof is at least in many who haue good wils becaus thy are not taught to obey tâ—ee interiorly in their souls out of which it would proue easy to them to obey exteriorly wheras now it semes a burthen intolerable and forsooth vnder pretence of greater perfection we often fal inâ— to open rebellion Surely
or obtain they are farther from being satisfyed then they were before It is true the more we loue thee the more we desire to loue thee And the more we loue the more able we are to loue and the more easy it is to loue and loue making al pains confusions difficulties and afflictions sweet what is there left to suffer Only indeed the hiding of thy face and denying vs fully to enioy thee this only remains to pearce our harts with if we truly loue and yet thy iust wil is a consolation euen in the greatest extremity of this difficulty Who would therefor not loue thee wholy forgetting themselues and their own profit and commodity either for time or eternity Certainly the Prophets Martyrs Confessors and Virgins that loued thee more then their liues found torments bannishments imprisonments and persecutions sweeter by reason of their loue to thee and of their desiring to be faithful to thy amiable Maiesty then al the pleasures contentments riches honours and glory of the world did euer yet yeald to those that haue most abounded therewith since the beginning of the world O if we could ask Salomon for al the aboundance he liued in and S. Francis in his pouerty or S. Laurence vpon his Gridiron and certainly both by his acknowledgment and theirs their pouerty and pain through loue were sweeter then al his delights euen in this world yea euen Iob sitting vpon the Dunghil and saying God gaue and God hath taken away as it pleaseth our Lord so let it be his name be blessed for euer enioyed more comfort and true peace in soul then al the comforts and pleasures of this world could giue or haue caused to him For only submission to thee my deare God bringeth true comfort to our souls O if we did truly humble ouâ— selues how greatly would thy goodnes be exalted in our souls If we did seek thee not thy gifts graces and comforts how then should we go out of our selues and therby enter into thee O if we were rruly humble how much wouldst thou be pleased to be serued by vs and how many do fare the better for thy humble ones though they be hidden and vnknown for such to the worldâ— Certeinly the humble are so deare to thee that thou seemest not willing or able to do any thing without them For while vnmindful of al but thee they forget themselues thou in â— the meane time enrichest them with thine own works that they may merit more grace glory and fauour before tâ—ee in al things thou dost or permittest to which to the vttermost of their power they concurre by humble resignation if they can do no more which is sufficient to satisfy thee who needest not our works or labours but it is our harts souls and loues that thou requirest and by which thou wilt do good to vs or by vs. What thou thinkest meet for vs to do or to be able to do ought to be indifferent to vs who should haue no wil but thine nor any election but of thee Wel may it be said that where Humility is there is also Wisedom For the truly humble being guided by thy interior Truth and Iustice more then by human wisedom surpasse the weaknes of their own folly for so al wisedom may be esteemed that is not from thee and in thy light by which light only we can discern the glorious truth and not by the natural light of our weak vnderstanding that is not able without a beame of thy Grace to discouer such truth so blind is our soul of it-self without tâ—ee and it is only true humility that maketh vs capable of this thy light And yet if a soul had been with S. Paul in the third Heauen if she should leaue the way of Humility she would return to her former blindnes and the more she by vsurping thy gifts and graces to herself did puff vp her self the more al true light and discretion would depart from her soul and the more het folly would appeare to heauen and earth to her great confusion both in this life and in the next if she did not return and come to know her own nothing For as it is truly said The corruption of the best is the worst O Lord deliuer al from this accursed sin of pride which turned Angels into most vgly diuels and hath been the caâ—se of the separation of so many souls created by thee to enioy eternal felicity from thee my God But especially deliuer those from this most odious vice who haue had the means by the mercy of thy sweet Goodnes to come to some true knowledg of thee and themselues For if we knew al and could discourse with al the wit and eloquence of the Philosophers Orators and Diuines of the causes and effects of al natural and supernatural things yet if we did not know thee by endeauouring truly to loue thee we might truly be said to know nothing For only by louing thee and knowing our selues is true Wisedom obtained And how can it but peruert al true Iustice that thou art by so few in comparison of the whole world sought with a pure intention If we being almost to death benumed with cold should for remedy go forth into the blustering and far colder wind or in the scortching heat of sommer should for mitigation therof to our body go to an hot flaming fire who would not iudg vs euen out of our witts for our so doing Euen so we when wanting supernatural light that is true light and necessary for the guidance of vs in the way towards thee we in lieu of seeking after that light and of taking the means to come by it do betake vs onâ—y to our natural light the which as to the said supernatural end is but meere blindnes and darknes and thus proceeding in assuming for our means the contrary oâ— that wâ— should we prosper both in our practice and in our end accordingly The things which we practise as vertues being indeed no true vertues for want of the discretion that it necessary for the perfection of themâ— and the which discretion is but the self same as the light had from thee wherby often-times our pretended vertues come to haue more of vices then of true vertues in them such defect proceeding out of this that indeed in our inâ—ard and secret consciences we think that we are able to do that which is right and proâ—itable of our own selues and without light and ability for it from thee And when harm falleth to vs or to others by such our blind proceedings we lay the fault of it vpon thee where it is notâ— and not vpon our selues where indeed it is O ler this folly also be far from vs for thou art iust O my Lord and thy iudgments are equity how hidden soeuer thy meaning in them be to our souls I for my part desire to adore thee in al thou disposest and do most gladly acknowledg that al
regard in al things and as they haue interest in none so not any hath interest in them In that which they propose to Supeâ—iors they proceed as in al things els with al sincerity deâ—esting the contrary practise euen with those that are most aduerse and contrary to them much more with Superiors and whatsoeuer they desiâ—e to do they do it with such an indifferency thâ—t what euent soeuer come of it they remain in peace embracing it as Gods wil whose wil is their law If that which they propose either for the common good and peace of the house or for their own gâ—odâ— do not seeme fit in true Iustice or reason to Superâ—ors to be granted they impoâ—tune no farther nor desire the fauour of being condescended to in their motion â—ut rather remaining themselues indifferent that they determine and pâ—oceed in it to whom it appertaâ—neth A Superior hath greâ—t reason to take heed of putting a soul from the exercise of her internal Prayer or so ouerchardging hâ—r with labourss or solicitudes that she cannot not become râ—collected â—n her daily praier it being a soul that hath aptnes in her to make spiritual progresse by prayer and the other exercises of a Contemplatiue life yea not only the soul her-self wil feel the vnspeakable dammage that wâ—l come to her therby but also the Superior himself in the Obedtence which he expecteth and is due to him from her wil see the harme and loosse that come h by such beâ— reauing of the soul of her prayer For she who would by discreet prosecuting a course of mental praier haue become subiect iâ— it were necessary euen to the creature thaâ— is of the least esteeme or worth in the world becometh now for want of that strâ—ngâ—h and help which is gotten by such prayer to be almost impossible to be ruled by â—he wâ—sest man in the world For liuing in Religion as I can speak by experienceâ— if one be not in a right course of prayer and other exercisâ—s between God and our soul ones nature groweth much worse then euer it would haue been if she had liued in the world For pride and self-loue which are rooted in our soul by sinne findeth means to strengthen it self exceedâ—ngly in one in Religion if she be not in a coursâ— that may teach her and procure her truâ— Humility For by the corrections and contradictions of the wil which cannot by any be auoided but wil be liuing in a Religious Community I found my hart grown as I may say as hard as a stone and nothing would haue been able to haue mollified it but by being put into a course of prayer by which a soul tendeth towards Goâ— and learneth of him the lesson of truly humbling herself In which course being placed and euer tending to the increase of Humility euen the defects and errors she committeth either out of frailty or ignorance â—o turn to her gaine as giuing her occasion of the greater humbling of her-self to and vnder God and Humility and the loue of God wherein al her good consisteth do each of thâ—m increase the one the other fâ—r they are inseparable companions It is the grace of God and tending to him by way of loue that only can so enable a soul that no difficulty or disgrace can happen which she is not prepared for and therefor is able willingly to embrace the same Verily I can affirme this by mine own experience that a crosse word or slight reprehension before I got into thâ—s spiritual cours was more insupportable to me and did more disquiet my mind then al the difficulâ—ies or disgraces which since haue faln vpon me haue done For now me thinks though I be neglected by al the world yet by flying to our Lord he easeth â—e of al my burthen and as I haue desired to haue no other friend or comforter but him so it pleaseth him neither in doubts feâ—â—es paines disgraces nor in any other miseries whereunto this life of ours is so subiect to reiect me Only he exacts of me that in al the contradictions of wâ—l he sends me or permits to fal on me I wil humble my-self and be confident in his help Of Which if I do so I shal be much more sure then if in mine own hands I had a most absolut power None are able to presecute the waye of the Diuine Loue but they who are resolued to to deny themselues in al things and who willingly and wittingly adhere to no created thing For if the soul do willingly retain an affection to any such thing she is at a stop and can go no farther For God must be sought and loued wholy if we desire to arriue to Perfection Shee speaking of the Sanctity of the old Orders in old time when thâ—y were in their best case or in the Prime of their good Spirits writeth and sayeth as as followeth viz. THEN only the honour of God was sincearly without intermingling of human ends or interests intended and sought and al Orders with one consent of hart did concurre to the aduancement of that alone they then applied themselues to seueral exercises in the exterior euery one according to his Institute some more easy and some more strict some of more action and some of lesse yet interiorly their principal end was al one and that was to find and enjoy God in their souls and out of that perfect Charity which espâ—â—cially by those their internal exâ—rcises did groâ— in them they did eueâ—y one as God did require and enable them imploy part of their time in gaining or doing good to other souls Thâ—n there was no great care or solicitude about temporallâ—ties God taking care and being as it were solicitous to them Thâ—n there was indeed al sincere and real proceedings between them Then there was perfect amity without proper interest or fond affection to the impediment of theâ—r louing and seeking after God alone who is that One thing which only is necessary Then there was no acceptation of persons but they were contented so Gods honour were aduanced not caring though it were done by any other Order as wel as by themselues O Lord my God if this Spirit might be reuiued againe how much would my soul rejoice If Saint Benets his S. Francis h. s S. Igâ—atius his c. children were perfectly as this life wil permit vnited together and with one hart and consent seek and labour to aduance thy honour and praise as our founders do in Heauen which if we did then would the Sâ—irit of the primitiue Church flourish and thy torn and mangled members be healed and perfectly set againe together Then heretiks and sinners would easily be conuerted by them to thee Then there would be another learning then now there doth flourish in our Order and thou by them wouldst speak who makest the toâ—gues of infants eloquent Then they by prayer conuersing in a familiar and tender maner with thee would speak so that none would be
wil and pleasure may be perfectly accomplished in al creatures and last of al though not with the least affection I offer to thee this thy Conuent wherof though very vnworthy of such a fauour as to liue in such a happy company I am a poor imperfect member beseeching thee for thy owâ—e sake and by the loue thou bearest to al such as truly seek to please thee alone that thou wilâ— mercifully enrich their souls with the most aboundant gifts of thy grace so that their whole study may be to please praise and worship thee in spirit and truth and especially I offer thee thoâ—e therein that haue done do or shal heerafter by their patience in supporting the defects of their Sisters and helping them by that meanes to beare their burthen and by their giuing good example in Humility Obedience and other vertues be a meane or helpe to the maintaining of Peace in this thy house towards which thou hast shewed so much Prouidence that if we cast not our whole care both for body and soul vpon thee we shal not deserue the fauâ—urs thou hast shewed to vs. We are thy little flock keepe thou euer possession of vs let vs be of one mind and of one hart and let vs al and euery one with one consent according to thy grace giuen vs simply intend and regard â—hee in al we do tâ—ink speak or desire thou hast called vs and gathered vs together send vs a good life and a happy death to thy Praise Honour and Glory who art God of al things and to whom now and for euer be giuen al Laud and Praise by al creatures Amen Amen Delicta iuuentutis meae ignorantias meas ne memineris Domine Ab oâ—cultis meis munda me Domine ab alienis parce seruo tuo O Domine Spes mea delicta quis entelligit O my God my deare delight and al my hâ—ppines Thou knowst I groan in spirit against my-self to think that I made no more hast to couclude an euerlasting league and peace with thee my God! O teach me to loue or let me not liue thou only canst do al things and I as tâ—ou wel knowst can do nothing Behold I desiâ—e to leaue al to find thee and to dy to al created things to the end I may liue only in and to thee I desire only thee and to reâ—urn to thee the beginning of al creatures and the supreame beloued of al chast souls O how powerful is thy true loue in a pure soul O purify my hart and soul so that nothing but thy loue may liue in me O when shal I see my soul vnited to thee O when by true loue shal my soul languish for thee O when shal I be wholy turned into the loue of thee O that I might do in al things that which is pleasing to thee O when shal my soul by transcending al created things become capable by Charity of embracing thee in the bottom of my poor soul O loue loue loâ—e what wonderful effects dost tâ—ou work in a soul Thy loue my God doth sweeten al miâ—eriâ—s aâ—d maketh light al burthens and labours Verily nothing in the wâ—rld is so delightâ—ful to them that loue it and haue as much of it as they can desire and enioy al the pleasures and contents thereof as it is to a louing soul that sincerely seeketh thee to suffer for thy loue O my God what do we loose euen in this life when we wish for loue or desire any thing besids thee It is only loue that draweth thee down to vs and eleuateth vs vp to thee O who would not suffer any thing to obâ—ain this loue Nothing can comfort or satisfy my soul but to loue thee When wilt thou replenish my hart with thy pure loue that resteth in thee aboue thy gifts that my soul may truly adore thee in spirit and truth Thou knowst that no grasse doth so wither for want of water as doth my poor sinful soul for want of â—hy loue O that without ceasing I could praise thee As the sâ—ag or hart beiug tired with pursuit doth thirst and pant after a sweet Spring so doth my soul after thee it hauing been much more tired with streying from thee then the poor hart can be by being chaced by his enemâ—es by as much more as it is more greiuous to be hurt by ones self then to haue it done by others O wâ—en shal I in al things do thy wil that my actions may be iust and plâ—asing to thee O when shal I so humble my-self â—hat I may be worthy in some sort to praise thee whom now for my pride I am not fit to name Iesu Son of Dauid haue mercy on me and of thy great pitty and Charity remember me among the Whelps that expect and beg vnder thy table for one crum of grace from thee Where but vnder the shaddow of thy wings shal I repose from the heat of al inordinate paâ—â—ions and desires and from that mid-day Sun that parcheth and withereth away the new spriggs or leaues of my new sowen desir of louing praising and pleasing thee alone my Lord and my God Who but thy self by thy swâ—et grace can preserue mâ— from fâ—lling into my old sins and sorrowes Thou therefor art my only Refâ—ge in this day of my tribulation and amidst the storms of this world to thee I reueale my cause be thou my strength and my Glory that I may at last laying down the burthen of this mortal flesh be admitted into that place where I may Praise thee for euer and euer Amen O my God when shal that time come that I shal neuer more offend thee This is the mâ—sery wherein I languish and which maketh this world tedious to me This only is truly to be tearmed an affliction and misery and nothing is truly to be accounted misery but to displease thy diuine Maiesty Iesu Son of Dauid haue mercy on my sinful soul. O how happy are those that loue thee O loue loue loue of my God how far is my sinful soul from the happines of enioying thee as my soul desireth Nothing is sweet to a hart that desireth to loue her God but to sigh long and pant after him O who wil giue me the wings of a Doue that I may fly into the open wounds of my beloued O my God my oâ—ly desire how long shal I thus be estranged from thee the God of my hart and my portion for euer O the most dearly beloued of my soul how long shal I by inordinatly adhering to created things bâ— so far from louing thee as I ought to do O thou who only deserueth our loue my God and my al Lord my God who alone art good and iust shal I any longer loue uanity and seek after a lye How long shal thy dispositions and most righteous ordinances be dâ—spleasing to thy poore seruant How long shal I resist thy diuine wil Verily my God in this my misery I sigh
and euer wil be to thine honour from whom proceedeth al good If he I say stood need of gathering out of thy Soly Scriptures and the writings of holy Saints somewhat that might eleuate his mind to thee when he grew more cold by reason of humain frailty as he professeth before his Manuel whose words I wil heerafter bring in as being most sweet to me whaâ— need then hath my poor soul to gather together certain deuout and amouâ—rous words who scarsely in the reading thereof can lift vp my hart to thee but my hope is in thy Metcy whiâ—h is aboue al thy works and out of whiâ—h thou hast said by thy Prophet Men and beasts thou wilt saue To this Mercy I fly in this Mercy is al my comfort and consolation I cast my-self into the arms of this thy Mercy and Pitty I haue nothing wherein I can trust Some haue suffered for thee in their body others in their mind others in both Some for thee haue taken great pains and vndergon great labours and austerities others by couradgiously â—upporting disgraces and miseries haue become thereby most deare to thee others while they were afflicted and persecuted praied to thee for their enemies and therby procured pardon for their own sins But alaâ— my God as for me when I cast backe mine eyes vpon my life past I can find nothing done or suffered by me wherin I can hope wherein I can trust Al those things which I behold others daily to practise are far fromme I haue liued in this house of whom I may truly say Haec est generatio quaerentium faciem Dei Iacob This is the generation of those that seek the face of the God of Iacob vnmindful and vngrateful to the God of Iacob yea my whole life hath been ful of sin and iniquity and without end or measure haue my offences been against thee yea iustly maist thou condemn me to the boâ—tomlesse pitty of hel But yet I wil hope in thee I am sorry from the very bottom of my hart that euer I offended thee or straied from thee Behold I now consecrate my-selfa new body and soul to thee take away from my soul what therein displeaseth thee Al thy Angels and Saints be intercessors for me especially thy deare Mother the faithful helper and Aduocate of vs sinners TO OVR BLESSED LADY the Aduocate of sinners AL hail O Virgin crownd with stars and M one vnder thy feet Obtaine vs pardon of our sinnes of Christ our Sauiour sweet For though thou art Mother of my God yet thy Humility Disdaineth not this simple wretch that flyes for helpe to thee Thou knowst thou art more deare to me â—hen any can expresâ—e And thâ—t I do congratulate with ioy thy happinesse Who art the Queen of Heauen and earth thy helping hand me lend That I may loue and praise my God and haue a happy end And though my sins me terrify yet hoping stil in â—hee I find my soul refreshed much when I vnto thee fly For thou most willingly to God pâ—titions dost preseâ—t And dost obtain much grace for vs in this our baâ—nishment The honour and the glorious praise by al be giuen â—o thee Which Iâ—sus tâ—y beloued Son orâ—aind eâ—ernâ—lly For thee whom he exalts in heauen aboue the Angeâ—s al And whom we find a Patronesse when vnto thee we câ—l Amen O Mater Dei â—e â—ento mei Amen As also my good Angel S. Ioseph Saint Iohn Euangelist S. Martin S. Augustin S. Thomas of Aquin and thou my most holy Father S. Benet To our most Holy Father Saint BENEDICT MOst glorious Father in whose School I liue and hope to dye God grant I may obserue thy Rule for in that al doth lye For no perfection can be named which vs it doth not teach O happy she who in her soul the sense thereof doth reach But many praise Obedience` and thy humility And yet conceaue not as they should what either of them be The simple humble louing souls only the sense find out Of any discret obedient Rule and these are void of doubt Yea vnder shadow of thy wings they vp to heauenâ— fly And tast heere in this vaile of teares what perfect peace doth lye Hid in performâ—nce of thy Rule that leadeth vnto heauen O happy souls who it performe the ways so sweet and euen By Prayer and Patience its fulfilled Charity Obedience By seeking after God alone and giuing none offence The more I looke vpon thy Rule the more in it I find O do to me the sense vnfold For letter makes vs blind And blessed yea a thousand times Be thou who it hast writ And thy sweet blessing giue to them who truly performe it For those are they which wil conserue this house in perfect peace Without which al we do is lost and al that 's good wil cease And praised be our glorious God who gaue to thee such grace Not only him thy-self to seeke but also out to trace A way so easy and secure if we wil but thee heare To haue relation to our God who is to vs so neere For at this thou dost chiefly aime that God our souls do teach O if we did truly obey he would by al things preach His wil to vs by euery thing that did to vs befal And then as thou desirst it should he would be al in al O pray deare Father that he euer be our only loue and al eternally Amen Saint Scholastica S. Gertrude and in fine al in heauen or on earth that are pleasing to thee be pleased to make me partaker of their merits and praiers and aboue al wash me in thy pretious Bloud one drop whereof had been sufficient to haue redemed a thousand worlds In this is my hope and confidence by this I hope to be enriched with al that is wanting in me For in that thou art and possessest I more reioyce and exult then if I had whatsoeuer in earth or in heauen I could desire at my command In this ioy I cry out withal my hart with al my soul and with al my strengh O how much good and happines do I possesse seeing my God who is more my-self then I my-self am doth possesse so infinit Glory Maiesty and so infinit good things for indeed I haue and hold him more mine own then any thing that euer I had or held heertofore This is the comfott of my pouerty and the repose of my labour This my most delightful most amiable most bright and beawtiful and most Glorious God is always present with me to heare my praises and receaue my petitions In him I am rich though in my felf I am poore and contemptible To him my most louing God be giuen now and euer al Laud and Praise and Glory by al in heauen and earth for euer and euer Amen These Collections once more I offer to thee my God and those that in perusing thereof are moued thereby to loue and praise thee be they my Goâ— mindful of
of my death obtain for me wretched sinner confidence in his Mercies which are as thou knowst aboue al his works I am not worthy to loue but he is worthy of al loue and Adoration I cannot without great ioy remember these following words of the Prophet I saie hoping his Goodnes wil for his own sake giue me leaue to apply them to me poor and sinful soul though I desetuâ— nothing of my-self neuer hauing done him any faithful seruice in al my life Chap 43. v. 1. And now thus saith our Lord that created thee and formed thee Feare not because I haue redeemed thee and called thee by thy name Thou art mine 2. When thou shalt passe through the waters I wil be with thee and the flouds shal not couer thee when thou shalt walke in fire thou shalt not be â—uâ—ned and the flame shal not â—urn inâ— thee O blessed Saint make intercession for me that I may be confident in him who thus aboundeth with Mercy Amen 3. Because I am the Lord thy God the Holy one of Israel thy Sauiour 4. Since thou becamest honourable in mine eyes and glorious I haue loued thee 5. Feare not becaus I am with thee 6. And euery one that inuocateth my name for my glory I haue created him formed him and made him 8. Bring forth the blind people and hauing eyes the deaf and he that â—ath eares 9. Let them giue their witnes be iustified 10. In very deed you are my witnes saith our Lord and my seruants whom I haue chosen that you may know and beleeve me and vnderstand that I my self am 11. I am I am the Lord and there is no Sauiour beside me and there is not that can deliuer out of my hand 16. Thou saith our Lord that gaue away in the Sea and a paâ—h in the vâ—hâ—menâ— waters 18. Remember not former things and looke not on things of old I am he that takes cleane away thine iniquities for mine own sake and I wil not remember thy sins 26. Bring me into remembrance and let vs be iudged together Tel me if thou â—aue any thing that maiest be iustified Hethertho the words of the Prophet I saie S. Iohn 2. v. 12. I writ to you litle children becaus your sins are forgiuen you for his name And now my children abid in him that when he shal appeare we may haue confidence and not be confounded of him in his coming My dearest beleeue not euery spirit and euery spirit that dissolueth Iesus is not of God Feare is not Charity but perfect Charity casteth out feare Let vs therefore loue God becaus God loued vs. This is the Charity of God that we keep his Commandments and his Commandments are not beauty O infinit Goodnes who art Charity it-self powre thy Grace aboundantly into my poor foul I inuoke thee my God by the merits and intercession of al thy Saints in Heauen and seruants on earth to haue mercy on me now in this my last extreamity Al I desire is that in life and death I may be disposed of according to the multitude of tâ—y most aboundant Mercies a fountain neuer drawn dryâ— Al my ioy is in that thou art my God and that I am at thy disposing Though I am poor in al vertnes yet I am confident to be partaker of thy Merits ó sweet Iesus which thou liberally bestowest according to thy wil and pleasure O be thou blessed in al thou disposest O my God who art al I desire Into thy hands I commend my spirit who art blessed for euer Amen The most learned of D. S. Augustin saith Aiâ— eruditissimus Doctorum Augustinus O eternal Truth and true Charity and O aeterna veritas vera Charitas Deare Eternity Thou art my God to thee chara Eteruitas Tu es Deus meus I suspire day and night This is that subliue Tibi suspiro die ac nocte Hic est sublimis ille Contemplatiue Augustine Contemplator Augustinus Cuius cor Charitas Christi vulneraueraâ— whose hart the Charity of Christ had wounded O my deare Saâ—nt whose great Humility I can neuer to much praise and admire pray for her to whom thou hast been in her greatest afflictions and miâ—eries euen as a Father and Mother for which be exhibited honouur to thee by the most sweet hart of IESVS our Sauior the Son of the liuing God by which and from which doth most aboundant sweetnes flow to al the elect In the power that he gaue thee being one by whom he bound and loosed sinners giue an aboundant benediction to thy poore seruant and beg of my God that I may neuer seek or intend any thing for time or eternity but his honour and Glory and that I may so humble and subiect myself vnder his mighty hand thaâ— for his loue I may willâ—ngly submit my-self in what maner he pleases to al creatures Let me commit and commend my-self to thy protection who art a careful receauer of al my petitions and who art one who in a most particular maner Godâ— hath giuen me confidence in in al â—he necessities wherein my soul doth stand need of an Aduocat and friend O happy change to leaue al friends on earth to find the more certaiu assured friends and Intercessors in Heauen who are neuer absent neuer vncertain nor euer do they fail as those in this world are subiect to do Be therefor mindful of me I beseech thee in my life also in my last extremity and remember that when affrighted with the multitude and greiuoushes of my sinnes and imperfections I durst scarsely cast vp mine eyes to Heauen or cal vpon God and his Blessed Mother who might iustly disdain so vngrateful and contemptible a creature Yet by thy meanes and being incouradged by thy example and reading thy life and books so ful of Conâ—idence and sweetnesâ— I found my hart lightned and my spiâ—it refreshed and my soul exceedingly comforted finding in thee and by thee expressed what a good God we haue and that as his Mercies are aboue al his works so he is able to forgiue more then we can offend Thou knowest thy very name when I am sad and afflicted doth refresh me to behold it and seemeth to smile vpon me in my miseries assuring me of â—hy helpe in al my soul standeth need of thee in this my pilgrimage and ban shment from my God who is my only loue life desire and al my happines Tâ— whom for euer be al Glory Honour anâ— Adoâ—ation by al as wel on earth as in Heaâ—enâ— and whom by his sweet Mercy and thy intercession I desire and hope to loue and sâ—rue for euer and euer Amen Omnes qui habebant infirâ—os ducebant illes ad Iesum sanabaâ—â—ur Al that had diseased brought thâ—m to Iesus and they were curedâ— To whom therefor should I fly in my manifold infirmities but to thee my Iesus my Goâ— and my Sauiour Who is worthy oâ— our loues our thoughts our harts and our souls but
could not haue been taxed of too sleightly rewarding their labour For certainly the peace that followeth doing goodâ— for euil and yeelding sweet for bitter and passing al difficulties humbly and patiently ouer is much more pleasant then by hauing ful power to do vpon such occasions the quite contrary Such is the very nature of al his exactions and ordinations that euen the very effect of them maketh theÌ„ worthy to be loued desired ond practised For who can consider of al vertues â—ad not see how great a happines lieth hid in the true practise of theÌ„ euen in this life As for exaÌ„ple Iustice Patience Benigniâ—y Longanimity Charity and true Discretion accompanied with vnfained humility who doth not see that these the like vertues make vs pleasing to Goâ— and man that the not practising theÌ„ doth make vs troublesom to others and aboue al to ouâ— selues Giue vs O my God al those vâ—rtues which make souls so pleasing in thy diuine eyes Let not the very Infidels HeatheÌ„ be our accusers who practised that out of the light of nature which we omit in this happy time of Grace Shal they contemn the world and shal we desire the base pleasures and coÌ„tentments thereof Shal they fly into dens caues to get wisdom learning shal nor we be contented to be forgotten by al the world Shal they do good for euil we do euil for good and put vp nothing for loue of thee Shal they subdue their passions and affections to become maisters of their souls and shal not we do itâ— who by it may come to haue the freer accesse to thee in our souls O no far be it from vs my Lord my Godâ— but rather let our souls draw no breaâ—â— but to aspire to thee by true loue Let vs adhere to thee and to no created thing whatsoeuer that we may for euer euer be vnited to thee who created vs for that end for wâ— h be thou Blessed and Praised eternally Amen Thus wrote our pious soul D. Câ—rtrude More vpon these sayings and doings of those Heaâ—hen Philosophers FINIS LAVS DEO Sir Thom More ☞ â— F. Aug. Baker Luk. 20.23 ☞ ☜ ☜ ☜ ☜ ☜ ☞ ☜ ☜ ☜ ☜ ☜ ☜ ☜ ☞ ☜ ☞ ☞ ☜ ☜ ☜ ☜ 1. Io. 2. 20.27 ☜ ☞ ☞ ☞ ☞ ☜ ☜ ☞ ☜ ☞ ☜ ☜ ☞ ☜ ☜ ☜ This Sir Thomas Moâ—e the faâ—â—uâ— Lâ—râ— Chancellor of England Bâ—essed and râ—novvâ—eâ— Martyr of Christ IESVS vvas her great great grand-Father ☞ ☜ ☞ ☞ ☞ ☜ ☜ ☞ ☞ ☜ ☜ ☞ ☞ Matt. 22.21 ☞ Mathâ— 19. 30. ☜ V. Fa. Baker Mathâ— 18. 3. Mathâ— 10 16. Luk. 14. Psal. 142. ☞ Psal. 33. 12. Psal. 33. 14. ☜ ☞ ☞ Esay 35. 8. ☜ ☞ ☞ Fa. â—â—er V. R. F. Rudesind Barlo ☞ ☞ ☜ ☜ ☞ ☜ ☜ ☜ ☞ â—ob 7. 1. ☜ ☞ Kings 1. 19. Psal. 72.28 Psal. 7â— 25 ☜ ☞ ☜ ☞ Psal. 59. 13. Psal. 18. 8. 9. ☜ Psal. 144.9 Psal. 33. 6. ☜ Psal. â—6 1. Psal. 72. 23. Psal. 72. Math. 5. 11. ☞ ☜ Math. 11. 2 ☞ â—ant â— 7. ☜ 1. Cor. 15.55 ☞ ☜ Hebr. 11. Psal. â— 8.37 Pas. 187.2 ☜ ☜ Math. 4. 4. ☞ R. F. Baker ☞ Io. 8. 2 ☜ ☞ Luk 1 .1 Ps. 9. 19. ☜ ☜ ☞ Psal. â—5 â—1 ☜ Psal. 118. Esaio 35. 8. ☞ Mat. 5. 8. ☞ Cant. 1. 8. ☞ ☜ Pas. 86. 3. Luk 24. R. F. Baker ☜ ☜ V. F Baker ☜ ☞ Io 21. 22. V. F. Baker ☜ Io 14. 18. ☜ Psal. 93 1â— 17. ☞ ☞ ☜ Io. 3. 21. ☞ Rom. 1.17 ☞ Psal. 72. Mat. 9.3 ☞ ☞ Rom. 1 â—â— 5. ☜ ☜ ☞ ☞ V F. Baker 1 Thes. 5. 17. Ier. 12 11. Psal. 102. 1. ☜ ☜ ☜ ☜ Io. 15. 9. Io. 15. 5. ☜ Io. 20. ☞ ☜ Mat. 6.33 Psal. 150. Dan. 3.37 Eccli 15. 9. ☞ Io. 3. 8. ☞ Mat. 3. 15. ☜ ☜ ☞ ☞ ☜ ☞ ☜ ☞ Luk 9. â—5 ☞ Shee dyed presently heerevpon ☜ ☜ Rom. 4 3. ☜ ☞ ☞ Wis. 10 Luk 11.12 ☞ ☞ 1. Cor. 3.19 The Benedictin Nouns at CaÌ„bray ☞ ☜ ☞ Psal. 126. ☜ Ier. 2. 13. ☞ Psal. 35. Psal. 23. ☜ ☜ ☞ Verse 16. Verse 3. Luk 4.40 ☞ ☜ ☜ ☞ ☜