I may not be unwilling in the flower of my Age and Time in Youth and Strength to leave this World let me think often that no one age or part of Life is more priviledged against the stroke of Death than another If I have done my work betimes as my deceased Fellow Traveller had is it not better to receive the blessed Recompence than to to tarry longer in a World of Sin and Suffering absent from the Lord Shall I not thereby escape a multitude of Temptations Sins and Sorrows which others by living longer are exposed to If my Peace be made with God what should make me willing to live at this distance from him What should render this World so desirable where God is so dishonoured where I am so often tempted to displease him and so often yield to such Temptations And may I not fear lest I should fall into such scandalous and grievous sins that may bring a publick reproach on the Gospel of Christ and sadden the Hearts of all my Acquaintance who love the Lord Jesus in sincerity By dying early I shall contract less guilt and commit less sin and see and feel less Sorrow than others who live longer And tho' I should maintain my Integrity yet in this World my highest love and obedience to God and my sweetest Communion with him is but imperfect How many Impediments and Diversions do I daily meet with that deaden my Heart to Heavenly Contemplations and Affections What disappointments and sorrowful disasters to convince me that this is not the place of Rest and Happiness What smart afflictions may some of my Relations prove What dangerous Snares may attend me in the remaining Portion of my Time What Opposition and Hatred from Men may the stedfast professing of the Truth and Fidelity to God expose me to what Publick National Calamities may I have my share in c. But if I consider Old Age it self which we do desire to reach what and how many are the Infirmities and Griefs and troublesome Circumstances which attend that State which dying young will prevent Are not most Men who reach a very great old Age helpless Objects of Pity A Burthen to themselves and to all about them And which commonly happens may I not then be as unwilling to dye as at present As loth then to leave the World as now tho' in a manner it will have left me For how many Old Men past the Relish of Sensual Pleasures are yet inordinately fond of a longer Life Have I not been told by Heathens as well as Christians that 't is not the length of time but it 's improvement that doth really make a Long Life If I have answered the Ends for which I were born 't is not too soon to dye No Man ever miscarried as to his Everlasting Interest because his Life was Short but Evil. He that is prepared for Death he that dyes in the Lord hath lived long enough and should thank God for a speedy Call to the Possession of that Felicity which the Holiest Saints on Earth desire and breath after Gideon lost nothing by returning from Victory while the Sun was yet high He hath fought long enough who hath gained the Victory If I have wrought but a few Hours in a Vineyard and done but little Service for my Lord and Master and yet am dismist and rewarded before the rest of my Fellow-Labourers shall I repine and think my Lord doth not befriend me If he hath any farther Service for me he will prolong my Days and make me Diligent I hope and contented Otherwise I pray he would make me ready to dye and make me willing and desirous to depart this Life For to be only content to dye that I may be perfectly Holy and fully Blessed is methinks too low for a Christian who acts like himself believing the Certainty of his avowed Principles and Hopes and knowing that While we are present in the Body we are absent from the Lord. SECT XVI The Contemplation of our Approaching Change may assist us to mortifie the Lusts of the Flesh the Lust of the Eyes and the Pride of Life to cure Ambition and promote Contentment ALL that is in the World saith the Apostle is the Lust of the Flesh the Lust of the Eyes and the Pride of Life The Dust and Ashes of our own Mortality duly considered and applied will help to deaden and extinguish each of these By Pride of Life we lift up our selves against Heaven and despise our Maker by the Lust of the Flesh we overlove and indulge the Body and study to gratifie the sensual Appetite By the Lust of the Eyes our Desires are immoderate after Temporal and External Goods The thought of our approaching End hath a Tendency to oppose and mortifie these Lusts to humble us before God to take us off from the inordinate Love of the Body and to moderate our Passions to Earthly Things It may help us against Pride by shewing us the infinite distance between the Eternal Self-sufficient God and such poor Dust as we who are but of Yesterday and if he uphold us not and maintain our Souls in Life shall be laid in the Dust to Morrow It will mind us of his Justice against Sin the Parent of Death and of all the Miseries of our mortal State and convince us of our Weakness to resist his Will or avoid his Wrath. As to our fond Affection to the Body it may instruct us that it deserves not to be so much accounted of it will open our Eyes to discern the Preference of our immortal Souls and what Concerns them to the Interest of a perishing Body It may convince us that we are Cruel and unkind to our very Bodies by overloving them because we thereby contribute to their Eternal Sufferings and so teach us to love and use our Bodies as Servants to our Souls in this World and as expecting to share in Glory with them after the Resurrection It may also help to moderate our Desires after Earthly Good and so cure the Lust of the Eyes by letting us see the Vanity Uncertainty and short Duration of these Things and their Insufficiency to make us Happy and give us true Content The Thoughts of an Approaching Change may if any thing will do it damp the Mirth of the Luxurious Epicure and strike him into a fit of Trembling as did Belshazzar's Hand-writing on the Wall It may discover the Distraction of living in Pleasure and of Care to please the Senses and the fleshly Appetite when the End is so near It may likewise check the Folly of Ambitious Designs that Men should make so much ado to get into slippery Places from whence they may so easily fall Where being puft up with vain Applause they forget themselves and their latter End 'till their Life and Glory expire together Where are now the Great and Mighty and Honourable who have made such a Noise in the World What is now the Difference between the Dust of
What will be the next Word O my Soul how much am I concerned to know it Will it be Blessedness or Misery Will it be Life or Death This one Word is the Joy of Angels and the Horror of Devils the Unspeakable Delight of Blessed Saints and the Confusion and Despair of Condemned Sinners At the Creation of the World Time got the start of us and was five days elder than we but our Immortal Souls shall endure beyond the utmost Limits of Time and last as long as the Everlasting Father of Spirits of whose Duration there is no End Shall I then exist and live though my Body perish and see Corruption Shall my Soul my Self exist beyond the Grave in Felicity or Misery and that for ever and according to my present Actions What am I then most concerned to mind What am I to chuse What am I most to fear to wish to do What is a Shadow of Honour and Reputation among dying Men What are a few Drops of fleshly Pleasure for a Moment to Eternal Rivers of Pleasure at God's right Hand What are the sufferings of an Hour or two to the Pains and Anguish of Eternity What can the World Flesh or Devil give me comparable to Eternal Life What can I suffer in the way of Holiness that may be set in the Balance against an Everlasting Hell And yet how often O my Soul how boldly how unconcernedly how foolishly do I hazard the One and forfeit the Other for the Sins and Vanities of this World Whereas one Prospect of Eternity should make every thing that is Temporal appear little in my Eyes The highest Elevations of Earthly Greatness Abundance of Riches the Great Affairs Business and Employments of the World Pomp and Splendor and Reputation and all that now flatters the Senses and the Vanity of Mankind Oh! that I could but live as believing and expecting an Eternal State as having it in my Eye managing all my Affairs with a Visible Reference to it discovering to all the World by my Behaviour and Deportment that I do in earnest believe it certain for be it never so Certain if I do not apprehend and consider it as such it will no more affect me than a Fable Neither is it enough to consider it as certain but as near For the most weighty the most terrible things apprehended as at a great distance will little move Thinking of the long Interval between the advantage of being exempted from such Evils for so long a time will please me more than such distant Calamities will affright Let me therefore endeavour to impress the consideration of Eternity as at hand more deeply on my Heart that I may walk and live discourse and pray and demean my self in every thing as near an unchangeable State Am I not convinced that this is certain from the nature and operations of my Soul from the reflections of Conscience from the Righteousness of God in his Government of the World from the present unequal distributions of Good and Evil by his Providence and from the plain and frequent assertions of his Revealed Will I have nothing to object nothing to reply but I find a necessity of inculcating and urging the consideration of it in order to its influence I find it needful to reflect often how near I am to such an endless State that in one Instant by Death I enter upon it And that this Instant may be as near me as my next Thoughts That the holy Scripture describes the two contrary Conditions after Death and every Man and Woman in the World shall share in one of them as both Everlasting the one by Eternal Life Eternal Glory an incorruptible Crown that fadeth not away an incorruptible Inheritance an House Eternal in the Heavens c. the other by unquenchable Fire a Prison whence no escape Eternal Damnation Everlasting Burning Everlasting Punishment Everlasting Destruction a Worm that never dies wrath that is ever to come blackness of darkness for ever ever c. Think O my Soul that in One of these two contrary States I must abide for ever in endless Joy or Sorrow Blessed in the Presence of God or for ever banished from it And whoever thou art that readest this apply it seriously to thy self 't is thine own case Yea I tell thee from God that Holiness of Heart and Life is absolutely Necessary to the former and that without it thou shalt never see his Face but be punished with Everlasting Destruction from the Presence of his Glory Is this an Unquestionable Truth O let me consider it till I feel the Power and Efficacy of so Important a Principle let the Impression be Deep and Lasting let it pierce and enter into my very Soul to cool the Heats of Lust to quench Sensual and Earthly desires and to mortifie all Inordinate Affections to this World and fix my Resolutions to mind and seek Eternal Life with all my Heart These are not difficult and perplexed Niceties which wise and holy Men differ and disagree about They are not Metaphisical Subtleties which few can understand but the express Word of God and the daily Dictates of my own Reason and Conscience which all Christians and almost all Men in their Wits except in an Hour of great Temptation confess and own or whether they will or no are forced to expect and fear if they are not in a Condition to consider them with a joyful Hope Lord cure the unbelieving Doubts concerning these Great Things which notwithstanding the plainest Evidence the Devil may at any time suggest Iet a confirmed Faith be the Reality of what is thus future that my Soul may be influenc'd by them as it is wont to be by Things present Let it be the Substance of Things hoped for and the Evidence of Things unseen and as yet at a Distance as if the Day of Judgment were already come and there were no intermediate Time to pass between this and that O Eternity Eternity the more I consider it the more unfathomable still I find it Vnchangeable Blessedness or remediless endless Torments An Eternal Blissful Day or Everlasting Horror Darkness and Despair Life or Death Glory or Destruction to last as long as the Immutable Living God! None of the Patriarchs who lived longest arrived to the period of a Thousand Years which in comparison of God's Everlastingness is set forth but as one day But strictly considered Millions of Years and Ages have no proportion with it because no multiplication of them will amount to Eternity Whereas one Hour hath some proportion to an hundred thousand years because a certain number of Hours will amount to so many years But no number of Years or Ages never so often multiplied will make up Eternity As no substraction of Millions of Years will lessen it an entire Eternity will be still to come and will ever be to come When innumerable myriads of Years are past Eternity shall then seem but to begin because when as many more are over
shall Believers then contemplate the unsearchable Riches of his Grace In all the Parts and Instances of his Humiliation from his Conception to his Crucifixion and Burial in all the Evidences and Discoveries made of it from the first Promise to its Completion yea from before the Foundation of the World in the Covenant of Peace between the Father and the Son until his second Coming to Judge the World and deliver up the Kingdom to his Father How shall we then admire and adore his Powerful Grace which snatcht us as Firebrands out of everlasting Burnings that effectually shin'd into our minds by heavenly Light conquer'd the Opposition of our stubborn Wills Sanctified our carnal Hearts rescued us from the Tyranny of Satan and the Dominion of Lust giving cherishing and preserving the holy Seed of Grace and making it Spring up to Eternal Life defeating the malicious and subtil Endeavours of the Devil to destroy it inabling us to indure Tribulation and persevere to the end giving us Victory over Death conducting us through the dark Valley raising our Bodies reviving ard reuniting them to our Souls and rendring them glorious like his own Body and at length rewarding our imperfect Services with Eternal Life Yea tho' our best Services were mixt with Sin our holiest Duties spotted our most couragious Sufferings mixt with Unbelief yet rewarded with a Blessedness that hath no Alloy of Evil but all the Ingredients of a Perfect Felicity and nothing to lessen and interrupt it How shall we then admire the Bounty of our Gracious Lord the Freeness Tenderness Riches and the exceeding Greatness and Glory of his Infinite Goodness and Grace to poor Believers With what Ecstasies of Joy and Gratitude may we imagine that our Lord will be then admired by all his Redeemed ones Saying This is He who made our Peace with God and reverst the Sentence of Damnation which we were under who bought us with the price of his most precious Blood bore the Wrath of his Father and submitted to an infamous and cursed Death for us He assumed our Nature that we might partake of his became the Son of Man that we might be made the Children of God for our sakes he became poor that we through his Poverty might become Rich He stoopt to bear the greatest Ignominy and Reproach to confer Honour on us He was for a time forsaken of his Father that we might not be so Eternally He felt the stroke of his Anger against Sin that we might not perish under it He was a Man of Sorrows and acquainted with Griefs that we might Rejoyce His Agonies and bloody Sweat were for our Refreshment and by his Stripes we are Healed He bowed his Head on the Cross that we might lift up ours in Triumph and because we had eaten of the forbidden Fruit he hung on the Accursed Tree 'T was for us that he suffered the Frowns of Heaven the Enimity of Hell the Rage of Devils the Hatred and Persecution of the World He was judged that we might not come into Condemnation He was Crucified that we might be Glorified and he is now Come again finally and fully to effect it O the Height and Depth and Length and Breadth of the Love of Christ which passeth Knowledge but calls for Admiration and everlasting Gratitude This is the Blessed Day we long'd and waited and prayed for This is our Gracious our Glorious Lord whose Love melted our Heart whose Promise was our Support whose Word was our Rule whose Spirit was our Comforter whose Cross was our Crown and the Hope of his Appearance our chief Consolation Lord What am I what was I that the ever Blessed Son of God should do and suffer and purchase all this for me I can remember when I was ignorant of God a Stranger to him at Enmity with him under the Power of Darkness and the Devil serving divers Lusts and Pleasures hastening to Hell and liable to his Wrath. But he chose me out of the World stampt his Image upon me pardoned my Sins and imbrac'd me in the Arms of his unchangeable Love O happy Change and yet how little did I prize his Grace admire his Love and express my own or promote his Glory and honour him in the Eyes of others How did I dishonour my Profession and holy Calling as his Disciple by aggravated Apostacy But he recovered me by Repentance and healed my Back-slidings and received me graciously because he loved me freely O admirable Grace to pardon and save and bring to Glory such an unthankful Wretch as I have been to make such a Difference between Me and Others whom I knew on Earth That the same Power which makes them Miserable now makes me Blessed That when they are banisht from his Presence into Everlasting Destruction I am admitted to behold his Glory and shall dwell with him for ever O how much more do I now see and find than ever I believed of the Love of Christ and his promised Salvation How much more glorious is the Person of my Redeemer How much more Excellent is the Heavenly State than ever I thought or expected I could not have imagined the thousandth thousandth Part of that which I now see and feel I cannot but admire and spend an Eternity in admiring and praising the incomparable Grace and Glory of my blessed Redeemer Such Holy Admiration will certainly produce the most thankful Adoration of our Lord Jesus Saying one to another O Bless the Lord of Love and Glory Who humbled himself so low as our Mediator and hath exalted us so high as the blessed Fruit of it How can we ever enough adore and praise him who condescended so far and hath done and suffer'd so much for us See how the Holy Angels worship this King of Glory And have not every one of us more reason to do so O let all the Quire of Heaven celebrate his glorious Love And let us his Redeemed his Glorified ones say continually Let the Lord be magnified who hath loved us and washed us from our Sins in his own Blood and made us Kings and Priests unto God his Father and through him ours O merciful Saviour O glorious Change O happy Society With whom we shall Eternally adore our Common Lord. We can some of us remember when we lived together on Earth how we wept and prayed and fasted and mourned together how we suffered and complain'd and sinn'd together O the marvellous Change our Redeemer hath now wrought for us and in us These Bodies these Souls this Life this Place this Company these Injoyments are not like those in yonder World But alas who can describe what Believers shall then think and say to extol their Saviour How small a Portion is it we understand of that World How little can I conceive and how much less express Blessed be God we know so much as the matter of our joyful Hopes and for ever Blessed be God who hath promised and provided such a Glory for us as cannot now be
will blast the fairest Reputation with the far greatest part of the World It may be lost by unwary Mistakes by false Reports by Envy and Malice by the subtle Hatred of Enemies or by the Weakness and Credulity of Friends who will listen to every Back-biters Story or by one or two Indiscretions of the Man himself and no Man can be certain to secure his Reputation whilst he lives much less after he is dead Who can content all Men however he live And who is well spoken of by all when he is dead Who is so esteemed that some do not despise him The wisest Conduct cannot hinder but some will judge hardly and amiss How vain and faulty is an Ambition to be talkt of after we are dead which will be but by very few and that very differently and but for a little while There is no Remembrance of former things neither shall there be of things to come with those that shall come after Eccles 1.11 For how little a while do the proudest Monuments last that are set over the rotten Flesh and Bones of many to preserve their Memory God hath promis'd 't is true that The Righteous shall be had in everlasting Remembrance but it must be understood so far only as the frame and state of this World and the Revolutions and Vicissitudes of Time will permit But what Good can it do us farther than the Interest of God's Glory and the Good of others is concerned in it The Blessed will not need it and the Damned have no Advantage by it And no Endeavours can be certain of Success For People will talk of us as they please and their Opinions very often change from one Extream to the other But he who hath the loudest Fame shall only be talkt of a little longer than his Neighbours and that by a few dying Men that must themselves be e're long forgotten And how small a part of the inhabited World is acquainted so much as with the Name of the greatest Men in Europe And how different and contrary are mens Opinions and Discourses of them where they are known and talkt of And how many holy excellent Persons are buried in Oblivion or mis-represented as unworthy to live on Earth whose Names will be found in the Book of Life Our Life is yet as mutable and uncertain as any of theirs The Time is hastning when we shall be too old to Live but at any time we are old enough to Die Our Breath is in our Nostrils and though there be room enough for it to go out we have no Assurance that we shall have power to draw it in again SECT III. Of the Uncertainty of living to the Period of another year The Vanity of this Life The Swistness of Time and how to be improved I Now begin another Year But what Assurance have I to out-live it I cannot not say how soon my Sovereign Judge may call me hence and summon me to appear before his Righteous Bar. O let me not defer my necessary Preparation for Death which may be nearer than I imagine Let me mind the Great things first which are of absolute necessity to be done some time or other before I dye This perishing Body which I have pampered and indulged at the expence of so much Cost and Time may be putrifying in a silent Grave before half this Year be past Lord bless this thought to awaken my diligent endeavours to secure the Blessedness of Eternity to mortifie the desire of Great Things for my self in future Years by the considered Possibility of dying before the end of this Let me look into the Graves of others and consider that this may quickly happen to me and must ere long be my own ease Let me think what this Body will shortly be when it hath been six or eight days separated from my Soul how vile how loathsome that I may despise the Beauty and be dead to the Pleasures of the Body which so easily so suddenly so strangely may be changed For no Glass is more brittle no Bubble more vanishing no Ice more dissolving no Flower more fading no Shadow less substantial no Sleep or Dream more deceiving no Sound more transient nothing more vain and more uncertain than Life on which all other things in this World depend My days are as nothing saith Job though they lasted above two Ages There is hardly any thing very frail and feeble mutable and uncertain but the Spirit of God in Scripture sets forth the Vanity of Life by as if he would teach us by it from the Light of every perishing Object which our Eyes behold to reflect on our own Mortality We sleep every Night in the outer Chambers of Death And in some Diseases Sleep which is the image and Picture of Death is taken away to give place to the Original and make way for death And every year every week every day are we hastening to our final Change which may overtake us e're we are aware Every day we lose some part of our Lives in our very growth from Infancy to Manhood our Life decreases and grows less Every Pulse and Breath doth tell us we are hastening to the End of Time and calls upon us to dispatch our Work If we consider * Dr. Donn's Devotions Time to be the measure of Motion however it may seem to have three Stations Past Present and Future yet the First and Last of these are not one is not now and the other is not yet That which you call Present is not now the same it was when you began to call it so in this Line before you sound that word Present or the Monasyllable Now the Present and the Now is past If we consider Eternity into that Time never entred Eternity is not an Everlasting Flux of Time but Time is a short Parenthesis in a long Period and Eternity had been the same as it is tho' Time had never been If we consider not Eternity but Perpetuity which shall out live Time and be when Time shall be no more What a Minute is the Life of Man to that How soon must it end Every Word we speak is formed of that Breath whereby we live and we may not live to pronounce another Sentence but the Lamp of Life may be extinguisht and blown out by a sudden Blast Every thing we do carries away some Sands of our little Glass of Time and how little may remain Or how soon may the Glass be broken Our Souls are in our Bodies as a little Air inclosed in a thin Bubble how easily is that broken and where are we How many who are now alive in health and vigour who deliberate on their Meat and Drink and are curious of Air and Exercise to maintain themselves in Health and please themselves with the Dream of Years to come shall never see another New-years-day It may be not another Month or week or morrow Many have promised themselves great things on the morrow but dyed before
better be without If God receive my Soul and will raise my Body at the last day whether it putrifie and consume under ground or above it is no great matter They who are alive will be more concerned in that than I shall be Graves are for the sake of the Living rather than the Dead The Sun the Rain the Air Birds Beasts Worms will all contribute to give me Burial if Men deny it The only difference is that it will be a little longer e're I am buried If my Soul rest in the Bosom of my Saviour and by presevering in the love and practice of the Truth I have secured my Reputation with wise and good Men I need not be sollicitous what become of my Body My Almighty Judge will raise me a glorious Body like his own and reunite it to my Soul as easily as certainly as for any of those whose Bodies were preserved in Caves and Vaults in proud Sepulchers and under stately Monuments I may dye this Year and shall not then have the satisfaction to see my Children or nearest Kindred Educated and Provided for setled and disposed of But is not the everliving God the same Cannot he as well take care of them when I am gone as now answer all my Prayers after my decease and exercise that Fatherly Care Wisdom and Love which shall dispose of their Conditions save them from Temptations and supply all their Wants and exceed all my Desires in reference to them and fulfil his Covenant-promise from Generation to Generation to the Childrens Children of them that fear him O how weak is my Faith that cannot trust God in so common and plain a case Lastly I may dye this Year and not live to see the ruin of the Antichristian Kingdom and Interest and the accomplishment of many Excellent Promises which concern the Rest and Peace and Purity and Glory of the Churches of Christ on earth in the latter days But have I not deserved by my provoking Unbelief Ingratitude and Disobedience to dye in the Wilderness and not behold the promised Land or see the Peace of Jerusalem And will not the struglings of Satan to support Babylon infer a dismal night of darkness and distress before the expected Morning of Deliverance So that it may now if ever be truly said Henceforth Blessed are the Dead who dye in the Lord. And if God will take me to himself in the other World I cannot possibly be a loser Tho' I should not see the Beginnings of a New Heaven and a New Earth in this However I rejoyce in Hope and pray incessantly for the Resurrection of the Witnesses and the rebuilding of Sion and the more plentiful effusion of the Holy Spirit the great comprehensive Promise of the latter Times to effect a glorious Kingdom for Christ on Earth And my Faith assures me I shall hereafter see the Son of God revealed from Heaven cloathed with Majesty sitting on a Cloud leading the Heavenly Host raising the Dead by his powerful Voice summoning all the World to appear to Judgment gathering his Elect and finally destroying Death and him that had the Power of it the Devil condemning the wicked to everlasting Destruction but acquitting honouring and rewarding his poor Members with infinite and Eternal Blessedness SECT XV. Of Dying in a Foreign Country and of Dying Young Considerations proper to Reconcile the Mind to both I May not live to the end of this Year God in his Providence having called me abroad I may never see my Native Country more Let me still remember O my Soul that where ever I am I am travelling towards the Grave and passing to another World That I may live in all places as a Pilgrim and Stranger here on Earth with Affections suited to my condition becoming one who is travelling in a Strange Land Let me bear the Inconveniences I may meet with in this World as Strangers in their Travels are wont to do Let me not repine at the ill Accommodations of an Inn where I am to lodge but a night or two but encourage my self with the assurance of better Entertainment at home when my Pilgrimage is ended and my Journey over One of my dearest Holy Friends and Fellow Travellers whose memory will be ever precious (g) Mr. Thomas Bent who dyed at Geneva May 10. 1683. with those who knew him quickly arrived to his Journeys end and is entred into Rest betimes Which of his Companions shall next follow we know not or how soon Lord Make me apprehend the nearness of my change in every place and if I am prepared for dying no matter where it be There is no one Country farther from the Presence of God than another The whole World may be considered as one Great House and the several Kingdoms and Countries of it but as different Apartments in the same House and they who tarry at home are no more exempt from Death than they who travel abroad The Earth is the Lords and the fullness thereof I can go no where to be out of his Territories I shall still tread upon my Father's Ground I had rather be an Israelite in a Wilderness with the Presence of God than a Courtier in idolatrous Aegypt Abraham the Father of the Faithful and the Friend of God was banished from his own Country and should I never set foot again on my native Soyl there is no reason of murmuring against my God who hath dealt thus with many of his Favourites And while I have been in a strange Land he hath not suffered me to feel the wants and necessities and heart of a Stranger Among a People of a strange Language he can and doth provide for me all things richly to enjoy I may set up my Ebenezer hitherto hath God supplied all my wants The Presence of my Gracious Father is every where the same in some measure Blessed be my God I have hitherto found it so And may I not rejoyce in God in a Desert though all the World should forsake me though all the World should be against me Should I have no other Friend or Helper is not God an infinite God Enough and without his Favour and Presence what can all this World do for me If I am sick and in danger of Death among my Relations and Friends if the comforts of the Almighty do not refresh and delight my Soul they cannot And if I want not these in my last Agonies no matter in what part or corner of the Earth I breath my last If the word and promise of God be my Foundation an holy Hope my Anchor Christ my Pilot and Heaven my Country I shall not fail of being landed there at last Suffer me not to forsake thee O Heavenly Father while I live and do not thou forsake me in my last Hour and let it come when and where thou wilt If my blessed Saviour will receive my departing Soul at Death I am not sollicitous in what Country or part of the Earth it be And that
Misery will be as far from an End as when he first began to feel it It will then be but the Beginning of Sorrows which will Never Never Never End Think O my Soul that this is the Portion of the Sinners Cup this is the Wages of Sin and the certain Doom of final Impenitence and Unbelief 'T is no Politick Cheat or Melancholly Dream but the express repeated Word of God and Christ the Holy Prophets and Apostles and the Voice of Reason too Supposing but the Immortality of the Soul and the Power of Self-Reflection the Punishment of Sinners must needs be Everlasting as carrying continually an Hell within them unless God work a Miracle to prevent it which there is no Ground to imagine he will or Shadow of Reason why he should God hath pawn'd his Truth and his (*) Deut. 32. c. 40 41. Eternity to execute this Sentence of his threatned Wrath. He is a God of Infinite Mercy 't is true but he hath told us how far his Merey shall extend He will not exercise one Attribute to the dishonour and the disparagement of the rest That obstinate and impenitent Sinners shall thus perish is not because the goodness and mercy of God are not infinite but because his other Perfections are so viz. His Holiness Justice Truth Soveraignty and Wisdom Was it Wisdom and Goodness to annex such a Penalty to the violaion of his Law and can it be inconsistent with them to inflict his threatned wrath Shall we suppose God to uphold his Dominion and Government by a Falshood to keep the World in awe by the menaces of such punishment as shall no where never be executed Is it unlikely that God should exercise so much severity and is it not as improbable that his repeated Word and Oath should prove false Is it not a righteous thing with God as the Governour of the World thus to punish the obstinate Despisers of his Grace who slighted his Authority disobeyed his Law affronted his Soveraignty derided his Power denied his Truth contradicted his Holiness and joined Issue with the Devil to pull him from his Throne who abused his Patience and Long-suffering and scorned all his threatnings who thrust away their own happiness and would not take warning who burst all his bands asunder and broke through all obstructions and would not be stopt in their course of Vanity and Folly or so much as consider the danger who rejected his calls to Repentance and refused his Mercy when it was offered and preferred a Lust before his favour and the Pleasures and Profits of this World before the Heavenly Glory and notwithstanding all the methods of his Grace and the checks of his Providence and of their own Conscience they will go on they will dye Let me O my Soul adore the Soveraign Justice of God in all his Judgments and tremble at the threatnings of that Eternal Wrath which so few consider or believe till 't is too late Let the foresight and the fear of such an intollerable endless Punishment be a means to save me from it Let me herein read the evil of Sin and learn to abhor and avoid it Let me pity and warn and counsel and pray for those of my Relations and Acquaintance who live in Sin and run the Hazard of this Eternal Ruin Let me not envy the foolish Mirth and momentany Prosperity of the Wicked whose present Joy must e're long expire and an Everlasting Destruction succeed in its room (*) Job 20. Chap. 4 5. How short is the Joy of the Hypocrite and the Triumph of the Wicked is but for a Moment Let me fear and dread every thing that leads to this dismal Issue and improve every thing that may help me to escape it And by Consequence let me less value all the Good and Evil of this present Life judge of all things by this Light be patient under Temporal Calamities and thank God that it is not Hell and thank him more that present Sufferings do help to save me from Eternal Ones Whatever I can suffer in this World let my Condition be never so dark and sad and afflicted it is not it cannot be such but that every one of the Damned would think it an infinite Happiness to exchange with me and be as I am Let me think of those Exquisite and Eternal Flames to cure my Impatience under the sharpest Tryals and Afflictions I may now suffer Did I believingly Consider an Everlasting Hell * Qui non expergiscitur ad haec Tonitrua jam non dormit sed mortuus est S. Augustine I should not think much of any thing that is required to prevent it The severest Exercises of Religion the strictest Temperance the nicest Chastity the largest Charity the greatest Self-denial all the Hardships of Repentance and Mortification and Continuance therein to the Death tho' for many Years more than I am like to live would be reckon'd easie as well as just if set in the Ballance against the Eternal Mischiefs of the Damned What will not Men do and suffer to prevent a Temporal Death They will endure a painful Course of Physick tear out their very Bowels by Purges and Vomits and are content to be cut and scarrified and to suffer any thing almost to save their Lives But how little will they do to be saved from the Wrath to come One would think they should have no Rest or Peace or be able to live a quiet Hour 'till they had made some Provision against the Hazard of this Eternal Destruction and look upon all Men as their Friends or Enemies according to the Help or Hindrance they received from them in reference to it But the direct Contrary is every where apparent Men are careless and secure jovial and merry in the Way that leads to Hell and esteem and love and chuse that Company that will help to bring them to this Place of Torment Yea such is their Stupidity and strange Perverseness that they will not suffer to be told of their Danger If you tell them that by such a Course or such an Action they will lose so much Money or their Lives will be in Danger they reckon it an Obligation will take it kindly and return you Thanks But when they are told by such Courses and Actions they will lose their Souls and the Favour of God and the Hopes of Heaven and must perish for Ever this they will not receive they despise the Message and scorn and hate the Messenger are displeased and angry at such Faithfulness O bless the Lord O my Soul for any good hope through Grace of escaping this Intolerable and Endless Misery And let all that is within me bless his Holy Name I have deserved the same endless and unsupportable Wrath which Thousands are now under and shall be under to all Eternity but he did not suffer me to fall into it To be delivered out of those Torments after many Years Misery would be thought an admirable unspeakable Kindness
Invocation of any other but Thee In whom I believe and trust Rom. 10.14 Having such a God in Heaven what can I need on Earth His Eyes behold me his Wing is over me his Hand can supply me his Grace provide for me I can want nothing that is Good unless I should need somewhat which God the infinitely Blessed and All-sufficient Good cannot bestow If thou art the Portion of my Soul all my Enemies cannot make me miserable unless they can void Heaven of the Presence of God hinder his Care bind up his Hand or obstruct his Love But tho' my Enemies cannot I fear my Sins may They alone can separate between God and my Soul And considering the multitude and aggravations of them and thine unspotted Holiness and Justice I should have too much reason to fear and tremble yea and utterly despair If I had none in Heaven but thee But thy word assures me that I have a Mediator there a faithful and a compassionate High-Priest Jesus Christ the Righteous whom thou hast exalted to be a Prince and a Saviour to give Repentance and Remission of Sins Who liveth for ever in Heaven to make Intercession till he hath brought me there to behold his Glory and partake of it That Glory O Lord thou hast reserved for Heaven in this World we only desire believe and hope to enjoy it Whom have I in Heaven That is the Place of Fruition What can I desire upon Earth This World is the Place of Desires as the other of full Enjoyment Most of that which Men call Enjoyment in this Life consists but in Desire Desire or Lust is all that is in the wicked World 1 John 2. c. 13. the Riches of a Covetous Worldling makes him desire more and the Great Mystery of Intemperance is to create and increase Desires and Desires of another kind are the Portion of Good Men in this World Oh! that I could breath after a State of perfect Fruition in Heaven with more importunate Desires Who will give me to be in Heaven with thee On Earth I desire nothing So one Version Let me O my Soul think of Heaven as such a Place or State of Blessed Enjoyment speak of it seek it long for it prepare for it as such And let Jesus Christ who is the Desire of all Nations through whom all Divine Communications are made to fallen Sinners be the Great Object of my present Desires and Love Let me desire nothing but as in Him and for Him that believing his Word obeying his Law adoring his Person imitating his Example trusting his Promise constrained by his Love partaking of his Image filled with his Grace and comforted by his Spirit my Meditations of him may be sweeter and my Love stronger and I may have nothing more left to desire for my Self but that God who hath raised and exalted Him would keep alive my Faith and Hope and Holy Desires till he hath made me meet to be with Him and after having guided me by his Grace and Spirit and Counsels here on Earth would receive me to his most Blessed and Glorious Presence in Heaven Amen Amen XXII The Glorious Appearance of Christ to Judgment considered as Certain The Terror and Astonishment Confusion and Despair of Wicked Jews and Christians to behold their Judge and hear his Condemning Sentence to EVERLASTING Destruction WHen our Blessed Saviour shall appear to judge the World I read that it shall be In his own Glory the Glory of his Father and of the Holy Angels If by the Glory of the Father be meant that of the Divinity as the Original and Author of all things in Nature as the Almighty Creator of the World and by the Glory of his Holy Angels be understood that of the Legal Administration the Law being given by the Disposition of Angels and by his own Glory that of the Gospel as he is the Messiah that in the Glory of all these he shall come to Judgment We have a summary Account of the three different Revelations which God hath made of himself to Mankind by the Light of Nature that of the Law and the more manifest one of the Gospel According to which every Man is to be judged at the last Day Tho' we cannot distinctly tell what or how great our Lord's Glory will then be we may be certain it will be suitable to the Dignity of his Royal Person suitable to the Grandeur of his Father's Majesty with the Splendour of a Triumphant Prince who is Heir of all Things and hath all Power in Heaven and in Earth committed to him the Great Lord of both Worlds Head of Angels and Men and suitable to his Glorious Office as Mediator and the appointed Judge of Quick and Dead If at his Tranfiguration his Face shone and his Raiment was white and glittering How much more Splendid will his last Appearance be When the Bodies of his Saints shall be seven times brighter than the lustre of the Sun And if his Members shall then be so glorious how transcendently more so will their Head their Lord appear If the Delivery and Promulgation of the Law on Mount Sinai was accompanied with such Circumstances of Terrible Majesty how much more may we suppose the Great Assize will be attended with when he comes to judge for the violation of the Law and the contempt of the Gospel And if even Moses did then exceedingly quake and fear what will be the Consternation and trembling of the wicked World at the Coming of Christ When he shall be revealed from Heaven in flaming Fire with a glorious retinue of his mighty Angels as so many bright Stars about the more glorious Sun of Righteousness The Lights of Heaven shall be eclips'd the visible Sun shall vail its blushing head as infinitely out-shone the present Glory of the Creation be all benighted by reason of his transcendent Brightness Yea the Heavens shall be wrapt up as a scroll the Elements melt away with a mighty noise the Earth and all its works be burnt up and the whole Universe as one great Bonfire to adorn the Triumph of our Lord's Appearance And this usher'd in by the Voice of an Archangel proclaiming his approach and the Voice of God supplying the use of a Trumpet to raise the Dead and possess Mankind with an awful Reverence of their Judge Thus in Triumph as a Conqueror and a Judge shall he come again who once appear'd in the form of a Servant to be Judged and Condemn'd by Man Then he was called King in scorn Now he will appear as much above all Earthly and Humane Greatness as once he stoop'd for our sakes beneath it Then the Contempt of Nations and no way esteem'd Desirable when he came from the Womb of his Virgin-Mother Now the Terrour of the World when he comes again from the Right-hand of his Father No more to be subject to a state of Meanness but to render vengeance to all who know not God and obey not the Gospel and to be
fully known What inexpressible Sweetness might Believers tast by rejoycing in Hope did a more lively Faith realize all this to their Souls We might listen as it were to the Shouts and Acclamations of the Saints above and say Amen to their Thanksgivings We might behold them about the Throne of God and of the Lamb with Psalms of Victory in their Hands a Crown of Glory on their Heads and Songs of Triumph in their Mouths saying Allelujah * Rev. 4. c. 11. 5. c. 12 13. Worthy art thou O Lord to receive Glory and Honour and Power for thou hast created all things and for thy Pleasure they are and were created And worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive Power and Riches and Wisdom and Strength and Honour and Glory and Blessing And again Blessing Honour Glory and Power be unto him who sits upon the Throne and to the Lamb for ever and ever Whence is it O my Soul if indeed I believe and expect all this that I can Hear and Read and Think and Speak of these great Things with no more ardent Affections suitable Preparations importunate Prayers and vigorous Desires How should the believing Thoughts of that Day promote my Heavenly-mindedness Self-denial Contempt of the World Patience and Perseverance Quicken my Zeal secure my Stedfastness and give Life and Spirit to my Prayers for the hastening of it How should my Soul rise towards Heaven by holy Love and Desire Ascend and meet him get as near him as I can breathe after more of his Presence and beg him to prepossess my Heart to anticipate his second Coming by clearer Discoveries of his Love and fuller Communications of his Grace Even so Come Lord Jesus XXIV Concerning the Examination of a man's Heart and Life the Reasonableness Advantages and Necessity of it Some Direction and Advice concerning the Time and Manner That we may know in what Preparedness we are for Eternity I Am hastening every Year every Day to the period of this Life I must shortly appear before my Glorious Judge and experience these Terrors or Comforts this Blessedness or Misery which I have now read of Shall I not therefore inquire which of the two belongs to me Is it not worth considering whither I must go and how I shall fare when I quit this Body What is like to be my next Habitation To which of the two unchangeable States I shall be adjudg'd Shall an Inquiry of so much consequence be put off to an indefinite hereafter Do I not desire to know the worst while a remedy may be found Or am I content to dye through an unwillingness to discover that I am Sick The Question to be resolved is of infinite weight Shall I not spend a few hours to know what will become of me for ever An error is more than possible 't is easie to mistake and the hazard of doing so is unspeakeably great How many thousands perish eternally even under the Light of the Gospel who never suspected their Danger How ordinary how common a thing is it for Men to be thus deceived How successful is the Devil in this Stratagem against the Souls of Men Is it not then a most criminal Stupidity to be contentedly ignorant and unresolved whether I am reconciled to God or no whether I am led by the Flesh or by the Spirit whether I am in the broad or narrow way which lead to such contrary ends that is whether if I die in this condition I shall be saved or perish Can such an enquiry be frivolous or indifferent Is the subject of it so contemptible or my concern in it so small that it merits not to be attentively considered Shall I never ask my Soul till I am leaving this World the unfittest time of all to begin so important an Affair what am I To whom do I belong Whose Image do I bear How have I lived and what do I do What do I love most What do I most constantly desire and chuse and seek How doth the Pulse of my Soul beat Is it quickest towards God or towards the World Whither am I going What will be the final upshot and issue of my present course Is it Heaven or Hell I must be translated to by dying What security have I got for Eternal Life What provisions have I made What Foundation have I laid How strangely infatuated are most Men who talk of an Everlasting Life as an Article of their Creed and say they count upon it that they must dwell in Happiness or Misery for ever and seldom or never bethink themselves in good earnest and for any time with a setled composed exercise of thoughts which of these Two is like to be their Lot Or if they begin to search and try themselves they come to no Conclusion or conclude too hastily they pluck off the Plaister as soon as it begins to smart they are either frighted with the horrid prospect of past Crimes or having escap'd the grosser Pollutions of the World judge too favourably of their own case They commonly do the Work but by halves and so go from the Glass and forget what manner of Persons they were Let me therefore O my Soul Sequester my self from the World to commune with my own Heart to reflect upon my past Life and look into my present State to recollect and review the most considerable Passages of my course and time hitherto O how neglected and disused a Practice is this which doth challenge and require our principal and most serious Concerns about it And how many begin it and are discouraged and leave off without reaching the end of such an Enquiry How much wiser in this respect are the Children of this World in their Generation than the Children of Light Who is so exact in his Accompts between God and his own Soul as Tradesmen in their Dealings with one another Who is at the pains to write down his Sins and his Mercies the grounds of his Fear and the Encouragements of his Hope or keeps a Journal and Diary of his Spiritual State Who doth at set times once a Month or once a Quarter or even once a Year take a just view of himself his Heart and Life and State as a Christian that he may see what he hath received and done what he owes and what he may expect that he may know whether he thrive or decay whether he increase or decrease whether he go backward or forward whether he be Richer or Poorer this Year than the last And is it not a Symptom that you are declining when you love not to examine your Accounts Is there not ground of jealousie and suspicion that you are behind-hand because you are loth to inquire whether you are or no And unwilling to know the worst of your Condition Nevertheless without such Enquiries and bringing the matter to a Determination at what uncertainties must we live And how unconceivable an hazard do all Hypocrites and unrenewed Sinners run And how reasonable how
the like Especially considering how my sins are aggravated by every Mercy I have received by every Affliction I have undergone every awakenning Sermon I have heard every motion of God's Spirit and every check of my own Conscience that I have resisted every offer of his Grace every warning of his Providence every invitation and call of his Word every purpose to Repent and every resolution I have made to forsake sin The greater knowledge I have had of my danger the longer time I have deliberated about it the oftner I have confess'd my sin and been sorry for it every reproof I have had from others and every promise I have made my self doth aggravate and encrease my Guilt How many Years hath God vouchsafed me to work out my Salvation But how little have I done towards it Had I died this last Year how unprepar'd must I have made my Appearance before his Tribunal What opportunities of doing and receiving good have I let slip Have I not made it more my business to seem Religious than really to be so How much of the Patience of God have I abus'd Refusing his Calls to Repentance resisting the strivings of his Spirit smothering my Convictions and turning the Grace of God into wantonness Instead of returning Gratitude for all his Love I have repeated my Transgressions after Forgiveness and gone in a circle of Repenting and Sinning even to this day Lord I am asham'd and lay my self in the dust before thee To me belongs nothing but shame and confusion of Face If God should condemn and punish me as a Rebel and a Traytor and give me the Portion of Hypocrites I cannot but own his Justices even in Hell I must do it with my flaming Tongue and Breath O spare me for thy Mercy 's sake Enter not into Judgment with thy servant for in thy sight shall no flesh living be justified if Thou lay Judgment to the Line and Equity to the Plummet Give me Repentance unto life never to be repented of never to be retracted again Bring me to the Blood of Jesus which cleanseth from all sin Behold the sighings of a contrite Spirit For I acknowledge my Transgressions unto thee against whom I have sinned O Lord forgive the Iniquity of my Sin I am unworthy to lift up my Hands and Eyes towards Heaven unworthy to be called thy Son or thy Servant I am vile in mine own eyes because I have made my self vile in Thine For this I am troubled and mourn and my Soul is grieved within me O thou Heavenly Physician of Souls from thy Pity alone I expect my cure I am miserable and undone without thy Compassion and expect no relief but from the Treasure of thy Grace I must perish and sink under the burden of Sin if thy merciful hand do not save me and lift me up I am intangl'd and insnar'd by the Devil and my Lusts and without thy Succour can never hope to get free O Lord forgive my Sin and heal my Soul Deliver and save me for thy Mercies sake May I not yet hope in thy Mercy Thou hast mercifully born with me hitherto Thou callest me to repent thou commandest me to return and promisest to forgive those Sins which are confessed and forsaken O do not cast me out of thy Sight and Presence now I desire from the bottom of my Heart to return to thee I abhor my self in dust and ashes for my past Iniquities But alas such is the hardness of my Impenitent Heart that I am even asham'd of my humblest Repentance how much more may God despise and reject it But hast thou not given thy Blessed Son to die for Sinners and exalted him to this very end to be a Prince and a Saviour to give Repentance and Remission of Sins And by the word of thy Grace thou beseechest all even the greatest Sinners to accept of mercy and art more willing to Pardon than we can be to Repent 'T is thy Delight and Glory agreeable to thy Nature and declared Name as a God gracious and merciful slow to Anger and of great Kindness forgiving Iniquity Transgression and Sin O Pardon mine Iniquity for it is great and receive an humble Penitent who implores thy Grace according to the Tenor of thy new Covenant flying to the Arms of thy Mercy through the Merits of Jesus Christ who is able to save to the uttermost all that come unto God by him Lord hear my Prayer and let not the mixture of my weaknesses and unworthiness turn it into Sin but graciously vouchsafe to look upon a Returning Prodigal and cause me to hear the voice of Joy and Gladness that my sorrowful Heart may be comforted and my life be directed to thy Praise Lead me into the path of life that I may no longer err from the way of thy Commandments Teach me to do thy Will O God and write thy Law upon my Heart that I may never more return to Folly I am convinc'd of the Evil of Sin of thy Right to govern me of the Equity and Justice of thy Law of the Sweetness and Rewards of keeping thy Precepts O sanctifie my Heart and make me Sound in thy Statutes that I may hate every false way and be devoted to thy Fear the remainder of my Life If there be any particular Lust or Wickedness which through the power of Temptation and the deceitfulness of Sin you have fallen into that hath wasted Conscience and robb'd you of your Peace and provok'd God to write bitter things against you be sure to humble your self without delay in an especial manner for that Back-sliding Confess it freely with its Aggravations Consider whether it was not after some special manifestation of God's Love after some special Warning some strong Conviction under or soon after some great Affliction from God or some more than ordinary Kindness of his Providence c. And impress such Thoughts to humble your self the lower search into the grounds and causes of such Apostacy such as the abatement of your Watchfulness the neglect of serious closet-Devotion making bold with Temptation too great compliance with vain Company venturing too far in lawful or indifferent Things too much Confidence in your own Wisdom Strength and Stedfastness not fearing sufficiently the Approaches and Beginnings of Sin or avoiding the fuel incentives and occasions of it c. Palliate and disguise nothing that may make your Sin exceeding sinful lest by some little Art of the Devil you deceive your self by an half-Repentance and the Evil Spirit you think to be cast out return again with seven worse than himself and so your latter end be worse than your Beginning For if the Sin be not truly hated but only cover'd over with penitential Ashes it will quickly flame out again when it meets with combustible Matter and a strong blast of Temptation But if you are griev'd to the very Heart and abhorr the Sin and resolve to quit it you need not doubt of God's readiness to receive you
to Mercy His Spirit is yet striving with you if you are willing to Repent and return to God He sought you and call'd you to return when you were wandring as a lost sheep in the broad way And can you think he will not be found of you if you seek him with your whole Heart Therefore renew your Repentance and beg more earnestly a Spirit of Humility Holy Fear and Watchfulness And every Morning implore Divine succours against that Sin and all Temptations to it which as much as possible you must avoid Constant and fervent Prayer after Repentance must be your Refuge and your Remedy If you let fall your Hands this Amaleck will prevail again As soon and as far as you fail in the Constancy and Fervency of that Duty your Sin will get strength and successfully attempt you another time But by this Practice God may turn Evil to work for Good make you gain by your Loss stand the faster by your Falls and become stronger by the discovery of your Weakness and so be better establish'd for the future But take heed that you pervert not the Grace of God and encourage your self to sin again by the Supposition that if you should Fall 't is but to Repent and renew your Resolutions and all will be well This is a subtile Artifice of Satan but such methinks as should take with none who have ever known by Experience what it is to Repent Who have felt the burden of Sin to be heavier than a Milstone than the weight of a Mountain Who have tasted how evil and bitter a thing it is to depart from God Who have loathed and abhorr'd themselves with deep Remorse and Sorrow and Anguish of Spirit wishing with all their Hearts that they had not sinn'd and if it were in their power would give all the World to retrieve it and would rather die than commit that Folly Luk. 23.30 17.2 again they then repented of Let those who have not their own Experience to confirm this read over and consider the Case of David when he wrote the Penitential Psalms How many like him have roar'd and cry'd out under the sense of Sin of stings and furies in their Conscience of the poison'd Arrows in their Souls and his Terrors surrounding them where-ever they went from the sense of his Sins Malignity the apprehensions of God's Anger and the consequent Fears of his Wrath. Serious Repentance after great Transgressions is another Thing than most imagine it When their aggravated Sins shall beset them behind and before be placed in order before their eyes and set in array against them 'T is always a work of Difficulty as well as Importance to crucifie corrupt affections to tear a beloved Lust from the Heart with self-indignation to abhorr and cast away what before you lov'd and delighted in How did David's Sin stare him in the Face It is continually with me it is ever before me said He. It haunted him like a Spectre or like Belshazzar's Hand-writing on the Wall it still appear'd before him in some horrid shape However Sin may smile in its first address and bespeak us in flattering language and promise Pleasure and Profit and great Advantages and Satisfaction these are but fair Appearances This is but the outside of the Cup and the Colour of the Liquor It will prove Gail and Wormwood and a mixture of deadly Poison if ever God set it home upon the Conscience and awaken us to a true sense of it And the Continuance of daily Repentance for Sin which all Christians are called to is no such easie matter neither Constant Self-abasement and Humiliation before God from a sense of his Majesty and Holiness and of our many Sins and Pollution thereby The imperfection of our best Duties continually to be bewailed inordinate Affections to be still mortified always resisting and opposing Sin in its Root and Branches conflicting against the whole Interest of the Flesh the World and the Devil seeking after more Holiness to be deriv'd unto us by the Grace of Christ to be wrought in us by his Spirit and maintain'd by his Power and making daily Applications to the Fountain of all Grace for spiritual strength to continue our warfare against Sin in all Instances of outward Duty and inward Actings of Grace even as long as we live all this is included in it Due Apprehensions concerning Repentance as so comprehensive and difficult a Duty would teach us to beware of Sin XXVII The Necessity of Christian Resolution to Vpright Persevering Obedience how full and extensive it ought to be and yet humble by what means we may be assisted to perform that which we resolve HAving acknowledg'd my Transgressions unto God and begg'd Forgiveness and experimentally learn'd the Evil of Sin by the bitterness of Repentance I resolve for the future to watch against it more narrowly and against every thing that leads to it endeavouring to please and honour my God and Saviour by an upright obedient Heart and Life And for the Remission of my former contracted Guilt I trust to Jesus Christ according to the Revelation made in the Gospel of what he is hath done and suffer'd and continues to do in Heaven for the Salvation of Repenting Sinners who desire to come unto God by Him But how often O my Soul have I mock'd God and deceiv'd my self with formal and faint Purposes of Amendment My good Resolutions have been all of them as the morning Cloud and the early Dew which quickly passed away One fresh assault of Temptation hath swept away all my good Purposes as a Spider's Web. I have falsified so many and broke my word so often that I dare not trust to any thing I now resolve or rely on any Promise I should farther make Succour me therefore O Lord by thy powerful Grace that what was defective in my former fruitless Resolutions may be now rectified Let me be more humble in the sense of my Weakness more dependant on thy Grace and more heartily seek it from time to time Strengthen me with Strength in my Soul with Might and Power in my inward man that I may so resolve and purpose as to perform that I may not be one day hot and the next cold zealous in the Beginning but faint and lukewarm in the Brogress fervent and serious only in Resolving but weak and impotent in the Execution Having chang'd my Master my End and my Hopes by returning unto God from whom I had gone astray I firmly resolve through the assistance of his Grace to change my Course of Life that Old things being done away all things may become New that * Rom. 6.22 being made free from sin by pardoning Mercy and become the servant of Christ I may have my fruit unto Holiness that my End may be Eternal Life In the interim whether I live or die let it be unto the Lord resolving both in Life and Death to be absolutely his And to that purpose O my Soul Let
Actions to the Touchstone and know how to manage the sword of the Spirit on all occasions against the fiery Darts of the Devil That knowing the Rule I may not be doubtful or at a loss whenever I am tempted I may not make a stand to parley but immediately summon all my forces to resist and reject the Snare being assur'd from God that the Continuance of this Warfare shall end in a most Glorious Victory He will shortly tread down Satan under my feet Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ my Lord. XXVIII The Import and Obligation of our Baptismal Covenant The renewal of it by a solemn Dedication of our selves to God the Father Son and Holy Spirit exemplify'd and recommended ALL this O my Soul which I have now resolv'd on is no more than what I am obliged to by my Vow in Baptism to renounce the Devil and his Works the Flesh and the Lusts thereof the World and Conformity to it that I may Love and Serve the Lord Agreeable to the undoubted Right which God hath in me by Creation Redemption and his innumerable other Benefits But the outward washing of Baptism and a visible profession of obedience will not save me without the Answer of a good Conscience towards God 1 Pet. chap. 3. v. 21. May I not by the consideration of my Baptismal Covenant suppose God speaking to my Conscience to this effect Will you take me for your whole Portion and Felicity And my Law for the constant Rule of your obedience And fight against the World the Flesh and the Devil to your lives end Will you believe in Jesus Christ and receive him as a Prince and Saviour And adhere to the faith and obedience of the Gospel how hazardous and difficult soever the profession and practice of it may be Will you receive the Blessed Spirit as your Teacher Sanctifier and Comforter and cherish all his Motions to enlighten purify confirm comfort and assist you 'T is my hearty consent to these Terms and resolved compliance with them which Baptism obligeth to and this is the Answer of a good Conscience towards God I have often renewed this Covenant on several Occasions but did I ever duly consider the tenor and obligation of it How have I lyed unto the God of Truth Dealt deceitfully with him and been False and Fickle Treacherous and Unfaithful to what I promised O let me now again repeat it and give up my self once more to be the Lord's more unfeignedly more firmly than ever I have hitherto done That the Bonds of God upon me may be strengthened and my Soul more throughly ingag'd to be the Lord's O help me to do it with the greatest seriousness as the most important Affair of my whole Life By thine Aid and Grace alone shall I be sincere and cordial in this surrender and Dedication of my self O breathe upon my Soul most Holy Spirit the Power of the highest that there may be no Hypocrifie or Reservation in this so weighty and solemn Transaction between God and me O most Blessed and Glorious TRINITY Father Son and Holy Spirit thy favour is my Life and thy Loving kindness is better than Life Thy Will should have been my Rule thy Word my Law thy Glory my End to please thee my principal Business and to enjoy thy Love and Presence my ultimate Felicity But I am one of thy revolted Creatures who have lost thine Image and rebell'd against thy Law slighted thy Authority and rejected thy Grace and deserve to be cast out of thy sight and banisht from thy Presence for ever Nevertheless O most merciful God and Father upon thy gracious Invitation and Call I now return to thee my rightful Lord acknowledging thee as my Almighty Wise and bountiful Creator my absolute Owner my Righteous Governour my End my Happiness and Chief Good I now accept thine offer'd Mercy I now submit to the Scepter of thy Grace and give up my self to Thee as my King and my God to rule and sanctifie me now and be my Everlasting Portion I desire to be no longer my own but Thine to whom of right I belong and ought to be devoted I yield my self to Thee O my Lord Accept and possess that which is thine own I lay my self at thy Foot at all Times and in all Conditions to be at thy dispose and in every thing to acquiesce in thy good Pleasure Deliberately resolving with unfeigned and free consent of my Will to walk before Thee in Holiness and Righteousness all the days of my Life Hereby I consecrate and devote my self to be thy perpetual Avowed Servant Lord I am thy servant I am thy servant the Son of thine Handmaid Though other Lords have had dominion over me I will now make mention of thy Name and of thy Righteousness only by Jesus Christ O blessed Jesus my All-sufficient Saviour Thy dying Love infinite Condescention and matchless Grace hath at last overcome me and constrain'd me to resolve to be wholly Thine who hast redeem'd and bought me with thy most precious Blood I now acknowledge and own Thee as my Lord and my Jesus my Prophet Priest and King my Sacrifice Surety and Ransom to satisfy for my Sins and reconcile me unto God to instruct me in his Will and teach me the Mysteries of his Kingdom and the way to the Father How often hast thou open'd thine arms and called me yea beseech'd me to come unto thee and accept of Life but I refused to come I adore thy merciful Condescention that yet thou wilt receive me on such easie Terms O thou Lord of Life and Glory now accept of an unworthy helpless Sinner who flies to Thee as his only Refuge and Hope who is convinc'd that None but Christ None but Christ can make his Peace with God and save from wrath to come I acknowledge thy Title to me and my Obedience and to all I have by dying for me I desire to take thy Yoke upon me for it is Easie and thy Burthen which is Light I desire to be intirely and for ever thine in an Everlasting Covenant never to be broken To take up the Cross and follow thee whithersoever thou shalt lead me through the straight Gate and the narrow way I will reserve no Lust refuse no Labour grudge at no Suffering stick at no Difficulty so I may please and honour thee and continue in thy Love O shed abroad more of thy Love in my Heart to make all Things easie for his sake who hath loved me and washed me from my Sins in his own Blood O God the Holy Ghost I acknowledge Thee as my Great Teacher and Sanctifier and give up my self to Thee as the Author of all saving Knowledge and Holiness By Thee I have been convinc'd of my Sin against the Law of God and the Gospel of Christ and of my necessity of his Merit Satisfaction and Righteousness to justify my guilty Soul by procuring the Forgiveness of Sin and my Acceptance with God and of the
freeness of his Love the Riches and All-sufficiency of his Grace towards all who come unto God by him I adore Thee O most blessed Spirit as proceeding and sent from the Father and the Son to renew all the Powers of my Soul and restore the Divine Image there to enlighten my mind to know and receive the Truth as it is in Jesus and purify my Heart and to sanctifie all the Members of my Body and make them Instruments of Righteousness unto Holiness which before were Servants unto Sin and gradually to deliver me from the power the defilement and abode of Sin as from the Guilt and Punishment by the Blood of Jesus And as the Witness of God to the Truth of the Holy Scriptures and as the Great Paraclete to comfort and establish the Hearts of Believers sealing them up to the day of Redemption and giving them the Earnest of the Heavenly Inheritance O blessed Spirit be thou my Witness that though I have violated the Law of God and defac'd his Image and formerly undervalu'd the Love of Christ and the Grace of the Gospel yet by thine Aid I now accept what I have so long neglected And thankfully devote my self henceforward to be the Lord's in a Covenant Relation But fearing and distrusting my self I give up my self entirely to the conduct of thy Grace depending upon it for my establishment and perseverance O form my Heart into an obediential Frame that in every thing I may endeavour to answer the Ends and Obligations of this Devoted State To this One God I have once again dedicated and resign'd my self to serve and please and honour Thee in Thought Word and Act to the last moment of my Life In the Performance of all Duties even those which I have been most averse from in the mortification of every Lust and the forsaking of every Sin even those which I was once most addicted to Resolving deliberately to allow my self in nothing great or little secret or open which I shall know or believe to be contrary to thy holy Will making it my business to be fruitful in good Works to the Praise of my Redeemer waiting in the use of all his appointed means for higher measures of Grace and Holiness to be more Victorious over inward Lusts and outward Temptations still pressing towards the mark for the prize of my high and holy Calling even Eternal Life I call Heaven and Earth O Lord to witness this day That I own and avow this to be my Mind and the setled Prevailing Purpose of my Soul This I again ratifie and confirm without any Clauses or Exceptions So help me O my God Glory be to God the Father God the Son and God the Holy Spirit XXIX Practical and Consolatory Reflections on the preceding Self-dedication or Covenant with God I Have this day solemnly Avouched the Lord to be my God to walk in his ways thereby to fortifie my Resolutions that I and my * Deut. 6.17 18. House and All that I can persuade to be of my mind will serve the Lord. I intend desire and hope never willfully to Violate the Faith which I have now plighted in the presence of God but to continue stedfast unmoveable always abounding in the work of the Lord c. Should I undertake any new Imployment or enter into any new Condition or change the place of my Abode where I might see more of God's dishonour and meet with more and stronger Temptations to Sin and be called to the performance of more difficult Duties greater Watchfulness and Self-denial c. I would hope hereby to engage the Presence of God with me and his Blessing on all my Affairs on which depends the success of all that I undertake and would hope the better to preserve my Integrity not only This Year but in all the remaining portion of my Time by the abiding sense of my Covenant with God thus seriously renewed This is the Method I have been often advis'd to for Peace of Conscience under doubts and scruples concerning my spiritual state to put the matter out of doubt by again accepting the offered Mercy and Grace of the Gospel and heartily consenting to the New Covenant giving up my self to God in Christ to be ruled and saved by him Blessed be God I have now done so Lord say Amen to thy part of the Covenant that Thou art and wilt be my God as I desire unfeignedly to do to mine that I will be thy Servant But because Articles are sooner consented to than made good tho' I seriously intend never to disown this my solemn Act and Deed but firmly to adhere to it as long as I live that having sworn I will endeavour to perform it that this shall be my Everlasting Choice never to be recanted or alter'd yet considering the sad Instances of my former Weakness and the vigilance and subtle malice of my Great Adversary I again implore the succour of Divine Grace to keep it for ever in the purpose of my Heart that it may be as the Laws of the Medes and Persians never to be reversed I have given up my Name to be Thine O put thy fear into my Heart that I may never depart from Thee Imprint thy Laws upon my Heart that my Obedience may be uniform and universal unwavering and perpetual suitable to so honourable and near a Relation to Thee I am sensible I want Wisdom and Strength to that purpose but thou hast bid me ask it of Thee who givest liberally to All without desert and upbraidest not with present unworthiness or former faults O lead me not into Temptation but deliver me from Evil. Stand by and strengthen me in the Hour of Trial lest I forget my Vows and deny thee O that my Soul may never draw back lest Thine have no pleasure in me I can serve no better Master O let mine Ears be bored to the door of thine House as the Token and Assurance of my being thy Servant unto Death I know 't is my Duty I am sensible 't is my Privilege and Honour I am convinc'd that 't is my Interest and Felicity my Soul my Life my present and everlasting Welfare and All depends upon it that thou shouldest be my God for ever O conduct me by thy Holy Spirit of Grace that I may walk and act as having heartily consented he should be so and direct my Heart into thy Love and the faithful keeping of thy Commandments That when so many Professors make shipwrack of Faith and a good Conscience and discredit the Religion of my Lord by their shameful Falls thou may'st make me to stand and improve the warning of their Examples to walk humbly and while I stand to take heed lest I fall Having thus surrendred my self to God what is there O my Soul that is ever like to prevail with me to go back and revolt from him Is the gratification of a Lust the securing of an Estate compliance with a Friend the pleasing of a Superior
necessary Physick made an Instrument of Vertue and so a Token of his Love Therefore * Psal 89. ver 1. I will sing of the Mercy of the Lord for ever and with the voice of Thanksgiving will I make known his Faithfulness He hath all along conducted me by his Wisdom guided me by his Providence and the Angel of his Presence hath directed my Path and order'd all my Goings He hath been a Cloud to me by Day and a Pillar of a Fire by Night he hath helped me in my Straits and supply'd my Wants and comforted me in all my Sadnesses His powerful and gracious Presence hath been my constant Guard and his Soveraign Never-failing Goodness hath compast me about with Mercy on every side For which O most Merciful Father my Soul and all that is within me desires to speak thy Praise The advantageous Circumstances of many divine Favours do raise their value and deserve to be particularly observ'd and acknowledged How suitably how seasonably how wisely hath he conferr'd his Benefits with what Tenderness and Kindness with what Freedom and Readiness of his own Bounty and Good-will without any Necessity or Obligation on his Part without any Desert and sometimes without so much as a Prayer on mine And what is more notwithstanding my Ingratitude and Forgetfulness of Him and great Provocations heightned by the abuse of so much Mercy demanding nothing after all in requital of so much Kindness but my Acceptance of his Love and grateful sense of his Goodness and the sweetest and most reasonable Expressions of it by Thankful Obedience More especially would I bless the Lord for enlightning my Mind in the Great Mysteries of Religion disposing in wonderful Wisdom the several Means and Methods whereby he brought me to the knowledge of the Truth by Parents Ministers Friends Acquaintance Books Afflictions c. Beginning with me in Childhood awakening and cultivating the inbred Notions of God and Natural Religion of Good and Evil Rewards and Punishments by the careful Instructions of Parents or others concern'd in my Education giving me the advantage of Good Examples Counsels and Encouragements to know and do well with more assistance and less hindrances and diversions than to many others Particularly for the Excellent Privilege and Inestimable Blessing of his Holy Word and Sacraments the liberty of the Christian Religion in the Purity of it in most of those Places where God has been pleas'd to cast my Lot Causing me to lay down in green Pastures and leading me beside the still Waters Instructing me in the Revelation of his Will and Grace by Jesus Christ acquainting me with the sublime Principles and Articles Precepts and Rules Promises and Hopes of the Gospel in order to Eternal Life I bless Thee O Lord and shall for ever do so that with any or all these Advantages and Helps thy Holy Spirit hath taught me to know the Truth as it is in Jesus heartily to believe and obey it That by thy Grace I have been convinc'd of Sin and brought to Repentance shewing me the necessity of a Saviour to make my peace with Thee the All-sufficiency of his Grace the Fulness of his Merit the Freeness of his Love and his readiness to receive me to Mercy inviting and calling me to it and enabling me to accept his gracious Invitation and obey his compassionate Call making me willing by a Powerful and Victorious Grace drawing me with Cords of Love and so effectually persuading me to consent to thy Covenant and comply with thy Message on the gracious Terms of the Gospel Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ who through his abundant Mercy hath begotten me again to a lively Hope having humbled my proud Heart and conquer'd the perverseness of my stubborn Will and brought my Soul to an entire subjection to himself who took pity on me when he saw me in my Blood spread his Skirt over me cast a Mantle upon my Nakedness wash'd me from my Sins and put his own Comeliness upon me by Sanctification who open'd my Eyes when I was leaping blindfold into the Pit of Destruction who healed my Soul when I was sick unto death who rescu'd and recover'd me from the Slavery of the Devil when I was led Captive by him at his will Shall not a ransom'd redeemed Slave be thankful to his Deliverer Shall not a miserable undone Sinner who is received to Mercy be thankful for a Pardon Awake O my Soul and utter a Song of Praise to him * Pasal 103.3 who forgiveth all thine Iniquities and healeth all thy Diseases who redeemeth thy Life thy Soul from Destruction and crowneth thee with Loving-kindness and tender Mercies Hath he made thee Partaker of his own renewed Image and Likeness given thee his Son his Grace his Spirit and taken such a wretched Creature into so near a relation to Himself and promised to be thy God and Guide thy Portion and thine Inheritance thy Friend and thy Physician thy Sun and thy Shield and thine exceeding great Reward and shall not my Soul speak aloud his Praise Hath he been †Isa 43.14 merciful to my unrighteousness and blotted out my sins Hath he gathered me with his Arm and carried me in his Bosom Hath he been my Saviour and Redeemer adopted me into his Family and promis'd to make me Blessed in his Glory with the Holy Angels the Curse being removed and the Hand-writing against me cancell'd the Price paid the Breach made up the Mouth of Justice stopt and the condemning Sentence of the Law exchang'd for a gracious Pardon through the Sacrifice of my Blessed Lord Jesus and shall I not praise his Incomprehensible Love and Grace I likewise thank thee most Holy Father for saving me from Guilt and Ruine when assaulted by powerful and dangerous Temptations that by Preventing Mercy or Restraining Grace thou hast kept me from many scandalous and presumptuous Crimes I thank Thee for making the Sins of Others a Warning and a Caution to Me an Argument to Humility and a Motive to Watchfulness for preserving my Judgment from many Errors and Delusions by which others are seduced for enabling me to improve any Opportunities of doing Good and making me in any thing useful to Others yea I thank thee for all thy Mercies to other Christians for all the Gifts and Graces and usefulness of any of thy Servants wherein as a Member of the same Body I desire to rejoyce for any Support and Comfort to me or any of them under honourable Sufferings for thy Name 's sake I desire unfeignedly to bless Thee for any Succour Relief and Victory with respect to the Snares and Buffetings of Satan and the vilest of his Temptations When he hath tempted me to Apostacy and Infidelity in Speculation or Practice to question the Truth of the Holy Scriptures and the Life to come to doubt of the Foundations of the Christian Faith or to despair of the Mercy of God and give up the Reins to sensual
Lusts or to draw me from God by the love of the World and the praise of Men by Evil Company Intemperance secret Wickedness c. I bless Thee with my whole Soul for calling me back from any of my Wandrings and by Infinite Goodness recovering me after great Falls enabling me to return when I had gone astray and seek thy forfeited favour that thou may'st heal my Backslidings giving me in order to it a deep sense of my own Sin and of thy Soveraign Grace leading me to a Saviour whose Blood cleanseth from all sin when my guilty defiled Soul so much needed its pardoning and cleansing Vertue awakening me to make holy Vows and calling upon me by thy Word and Spirit and Providence to perform them I bless Thee who hast guided my feet into the way of Peace when by the Terrors of an accusing Conscience and the sense of unpardon'd Sin and the Apprehensions of thy deserved Wrath I was ready to Despair that tho' thou didst most justly hide thy Face at any time it was but for a little while but didst seasonably and in Mercy return to wipe off my Tears restore the Joy of thy Salvation and chace away the clouds and darkness on my Spirit by the reviving Presence of thy own Thou who art the Author wilt be the Finisher of my Faith and therefore tho' thou hast visited mine Iniquities with a Fatherly Rod yet thy loving-kindness thou hast not taken from me or suffered thy faithfulness to fail or thy Covenant of Peace to be removed but hast refreshed me with hidden Manna after great Perplexities saying unto my Soul I am God even thy God Thou hast made me to hear thy Voice which was sweet and to taste thy Love which is better than Wine enabling me to say with thine Apostle Thomas My Lord and my God and to have had some Communion with Thee since in publick or private Duties For all these Innumerable Mercies I desire to praise Thee which yet are but in order to greater I hope in order to Everlasting Kindness in Heaven These are but the Taste and Earnest of what thou wilt bestow hereafter Oh how great is his Goodness that he hath laid up for those that fear him And now Lord what wait I for my hope is even in Thee I thank thee who hast thus put it into my Heart to render thee solemn Praise and once more to renew my Covenant with Thee I will magnifie the Lord and my Spirit shall rejoyce in God my Saviour Return unto thy rest O my Soul for the Lord hath dealt bountifully with me (a) Psal 104.33 While I live I will praise thee and sing Praises unto my God while I have a Being O come and behold the Works of the Lord what he hath done for my Soul The Lord liveth (b) Psal 18.46 Blessed be my Rock and let the God of my Salvation be exalted Let my Heart be glad and my Glory rejoyce for the Lord is not asham'd to be called my God Thanks be to God who hath caused me to triumph in Christ Jesus Sing unto the Lord O ye his Saints and give thanks at the remembrance of his Holiness (c) Psal 30. I cried unto Thee and thou hast healed and sav'd me I will give thanks to Thee for ever (d) Psal 119.62 I will shew forth thy loving-kindness in the morning and thy faithfulness every night For the Lord is Good his Mercy is Everlasting and his Truth endures throughout all Generations O enter into his Gates with Thanksgiving and his Courts with Praise be thankful unto him and bless his Name Bless the Lord all ye his Works in all-places of his Dominions Bless the Lord O my Soul Let me add for a Conclusion That the particular Deliverances Supports and Consolations which at any time God hath given in Cases of great Exigence or in answer to importunate Prayer ought never to be forgotten Many experienc'd Christians have been wont to write down such remarkable Appearances of God for them with the particular Circumstances that did recommend and enhance the Mercy whether Spiritual or Temporal as an Encouragement to trust in God in future Difficulties And have afterwards found the Comfort and Advantage of being able to have recourse to such Papers This Practice I recommend as what hath been useful and consolatory to divers Christians for many years afterwards and to some others of their more intimate Friends to whom they might without vanity be imparted What Experiences might be recorded of signal Returns to Prayer and seasonable Manifestations of the Truth and Goodness and Wisdom of God if all the Instances thereof were duly recollected and preserv'd And how sweet and pleasant would the Work of Prayer and Praise then be With what rejoycing and delight should we set about it and live in it if the constraining Goodness and Love of God and a thankful Sense of his unspeakable Mercies did bring us to him and indict and animate every word What Support and Comfort and probable Hopes at least of the special Love of God might we derive from the various Passages of his Compassion and Kindness And hereby we may be able more heartily to give him Thanks for Pardon Sanctification and Adoption which we commonly mention with too much doubt and fear It may likewise be Advisable To examine and record the Workings of your own Spirit under such Dispensations What Thoughts you then had of God What Acts of Faith Love and Thankfulness you did then manifest What Evidences of God's Favour and what discovery of your own Sincerity you have had at such times When and how and by what means you were cur'd of your uncomfortable Unbelief and rais'd from your Despondency What Promises you had recourse to for relief What Considerations were most helpful to you What frame of Spirit you kept up in Prayer before and after What Resolutions and Engagements you made to God to love and trust and praise and serve him and give up All to his dispose for the future And what consequent Obligation may be inferr'd from thence to acquiesce in the Will of God and resign our selves entirely to Him saying This God is our God for ever and ever and He will be our Guide unto Death THE APPENDIX From what Time the Jews reckon'd the Beginning of their Year Of the Difference between their Sacred and Civil Account The Feast of Trumpets on the First Day of the Year Its Institution Nature and Design the Traditions and Customs of the Jews respecting that Day UPon the Deliverance of the Jews out of Egypt the first Month which began with the New Moon next to the Vernal Equinox was to be accounted Exod. 12.1 the beginning of Months it answers to the latter end of our March and the beginning of April and is sometimes called Nisan and sometimes Abib It was ordinarily after that Deliverance reckon'd the First Month of the Year in their Sacred or Ecclesiastical Account The Computation of