and sâ— Officiosiss me muitos occidunt they are very busie to cast many men away with expedition wanting skill Or else wanting will to recover their patients they let them lie languishing at Sicke-mans Hospitall under the burthen of a life worse then death Gaine is the center of most Physitians practice bodies are the orbes which receive the influence of these stars whose nature it is to suffer a continuall eclipse without the often interposition of earth You must supple their hands with some unguentum rubrum or album which is in your purse or else they will hardly feele your pulse but rather will extinguish the lampe of your life then preserve it and many times the body if it bee sicke is content to buy unguentum aereum with unguentum aurcum leaden trash with golden cash Hee tells your disease in some hyperbolicall bombaste words though it be but an ague or tooth ach and his Rethoricke is to perswade that you are desperately sicke almost irrecoverable that his gaine might bee greater and his skill seem incomparable Without action and passion the Physitian would scarce bee in the predicament of substance he drawes good out of evill and whensoever he is in the vocative case his patient must bee in the ablative 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Who is this a Physitian Oh in what an ill case every Physitian would bee if no man were in an ill case Corruption is his conservation and Adams fall was his rise Physicke includes sicke They that are whole need not a Physitian Thrice happy are they who are not necessitated to embrace such a walking consumption of the purse who though by his art he prolongs your life he will bee the Attropos who shall cut off the golden thread of your livelihood and so spinne a faire thread for himselfe I have read the Socrates never needed a Physitian Pomponius a Poet of noble Progeny was so sound that he never belched Anthonia the wife of Drusus never spit If all were so Dâ—t Galenus opes were false Nicocles would have wanted an occasion to call Physitians happy because their good successe the Sunne beholds and their errors the earth buries in obscurity if there were no objects to worke on for then like empty stomacks they will worke upon themselves Whosoever keepes a good diâ—et using Vel modico medâ—cè vel medico modicè is a Physitian to himselfe and needs not worship Aesculapius who is adored Ovid de Ponto in a serpentine form but if ad medicam confugit aeger opem any man bee constrained to fly to the Physitian let him use none but such as are skilfull and so able to give a reason for a remedy if with Aristotle thou dost aske them and Aelian l. 9 c. 23. var. hist conscionable considering presentem que refert qualibet herba Deum every herb which they use is a dumbe lecture of a present deity A good woman A Good woman is a rare Phoenix a chast Turtle and an indulgent Pelican shee is Vertues morall Looking-glasse and desires to excell in vertue not in vesture The Vestall fire of chastity continually burnes on the hallowed Altar of her heart such a bâ—shfull heat at severall tides ebbes and flowes flows and ebbes againe in her modest face as if it were afraid to meet the wilder flames of some unchaste Gallants Her lips are never guilty of a wanton smile not one lascivious glance doth dart from her eye her cariage is sober free from all toyish gestures and her discourse is a morall lecture of chastity No man though hee bee past all expression comely being adorned with fine haire amorous browes pretty lovely eyes most delicious cheeks an handsome nose Nectar-sweet lips teeth like two faire ivory pales inclosing a tongue made up of harmony is able to make her lose the Virgin-zone without the nuptiall knot and there the conjunction of this milder Starre will temper the malignant force of any man though he be like cruel Mars carying a storm in his countenance and a tempest in his tongue God who reads the secret characters of her heart findes no other image graven in her soule besides her husband The Sun shall sooner change his course and finde new paths to drive his chariot in the Loadstone shall leave his faith unto the North sooner then shee will leave hers to her husband She is beyond all jealousie immaculate She is no personage that had other Incumbents She hath power enough to conquer them who have learned the military discipline of wooing and are recorded in Cupids Annals for great exploits though they can ranke and file their kisses and muster their troupes of complements shee will not yeeld unto them beyond the precise rules of honesty neither is shee affected with such a proud squeamish coynesse as to deny any honest man free leave to sacrifice a kisse upon her ruby lips If her husband goe to the Elysian fields before her she embalmes him with her teares and keepes the sparkes of a love alive in his ashes That man is happy that maries her he may blesse that minute wherein hee met her and may desire Time to sanctifie it above all his Calendar A proud woman A Proud woman is Eves sinfull daughter beguiled in fooles paradise with the Addeâ— arrogance If shee bâ— rich there is nothing more intollerable as the Poet Intelerabilius nihiâ— Juven Sat. 6. est quam faemina dives Insolent pride doth so possesse her that she delights to be an Ape tricked up in gorgeous apparrell which must be unmended but not uncommended As the Stoicks placed felicity in the inward habit of vertue so shee in the outward habit of vesture â—ounting it her summum bonum to excell therein witnesse the Mercers Silke-men Tire-women and all other professions whose Tutelar goddesse is pride the monopoll of mischiefe As it is said of Italy Novitate quadam nihil habet stabile she is so mutable that she hath nothing stable shee shifts her attire so often that her husband cannot shift himselfe out of the Tradesmens bookes Through her monstrous pride hee is constrained to turne hospitality into a dumbe shew whereby the soule of charity is transmigrated into the body of bravery Pride beginnes with habeâ— but ends with debeo and sometimes makes good every syllable gradatim Debeo I owe more then I am able to pay Beâ— I blesse my selfe from my creditors Eâ— I betake me to my heels A woman which is stung with that insinuating serpent pride leanes continually on idlenesse the Divells cushion spending her dayes in vanity shee spends many an houre betweene the combe and the looking-glasse that â—eers her before her face crisping and curling that â—oor excretion her haire â—nd sitting as moderator â—etweene them both and whether concludes best on her beauty is best â—raised All the morning â—he spends in dilling and â—ecking her body and â—tarving her soule shee â—ever goes to Church â—hrough devotion but to â—ee and to be seene and â—hough she
affecting that which makes him not himselfe The Emperour Nervâ— ended his life in a Feaver contracted by anger The Emperour Valentiâ—ianus died by an irruptiâ—n of bloud through anger with many other Blacke clouds of danger â—re alwayes imminent â—nd a more then beastly â—eformity never absent â—o long as this ugly Toad â—s present It is Seneca's â—ounsell that the angry â—an should behold himâ—elfe in a mirror Iratis â—rofuit aspexisse speculum Lib. 2. de Irâ— c. 36. â—ui ad speculum venerat â—t se mutaret jam mutaveâ—at Hee who comes â—o the looking glasse to â—hange himselfe is alâ—eady changed Againe Sen. l. 2. de Ira. c. 28. Maximum remedium est irae mora desinet si expectet Delay is the greatest remedy of anger it ceases if it fall in suspence The counsell of Anthenodorus the Philosopher to Augustus Caesar was Antequam indulge as irae percurre tecum alphabetum Graecum before thou feedest thy fury recite with thy selfe the Greeke Alphabet as if hee should have sayd sing to thy passion as Nurses to their babes 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 haste not cry not and anon I will content thee An envious Man AN envious man stands alwayes in Diametricall opposition 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Aristot Rhet. l. 2. c. 10. to a good man Aristotle calles him Antagonista fortunatorum according to his definition Envie â—s a certaine molestation and griefe for the apparent felicity of others which like a Feaver Hecâ—icke consumes a man and because of someâ—hing he hath not hee is â—rought to nothing so â—hat hee wanteth as well what he hath as what he hath not Vicinitas est Franc. Petrarch prosperitas invidiâ— sunt parentes neernesse and prosperity are the happy parents of this monster which is squint-ey'd that sees not farre off and neere hand sees too perversly with the Spectacles of a wicked imagination The eye is the seat of this soare and a blessing espied through this window killeth the envious man like the Basiliske Intabescitque videndo the more hee sees the more he sighes altogether esteeming his neighbours weale his woe and others glory his griefe Parum est si ipse sit foelix nisi alter fuerit infoelix hee cannot put on the white robes of felicity except another mournes in the sable weeds of adversity neither can hee saile happily except fell Boreas assault others He delights like flies in the wounds of others and that which is a Tragedy to others is to him a Comedy using like the Bragmans to laugh when hee should weepe and to weepe when hee should laugh The bright Sunne of other mens prosperity beating upon the Dunghill of a dejected base spirit engendreth this snake which if it bite a man he instantly swelles with much poyson but like the Serpent Porphyrius wanting teeth and power to vent his venome hee hurts himselfe most Vt Aetna seipsum sic se non alios invidus igne coquit The envious man is no Physitian to himselfe for by his pining and repining hee burnes up his bloud in the fornace of hatred so that his body hath just cause to sue his soule on an action of Dilapidation Envie is the meere Megaera which continually torments his soule Titiique vultur intus qui semper lacerat comestque mentem As poyson is life to a Serpent but death to a man and spettle life to a man but death to a serpent so the virulent sustenance that the envious man lives on is death to a good man and a good mans bene esse is the envious mans non esse Bion Pallor in ore sedet macies in corpore toto Metam beholding such a one with a pale face and lean body whose heart was full of gall his tongue tipt with poyson very sorrowfull asked him saying Whether hath some evill befallen thee or some good to thy neighbour As the venemous Beetle Cantharides delights to consume the finest wheat and nip the fairest flowers so envie invades the best men and those that excell in any good whether of minde body or fortune Therefore Themistocles being but of tender age said Hee had effected as yet nothing excellent and praise-worthy because the darts of envie flew not about his eares As those eyes are acccounted bewitching qui geminâ—m habent pupillam sicut Illyrici which have double-sighted eyes So the double-sighted eyes of the envious bewitch his understanding whereby hee misconceives and misinterprets another mans felicity and fortune beholding it with an evill eye as in a multiplying glasse that makes good things appeare great things according to the Poet Fertilior seges est alienis Ovid. semper in agris Vicinâ—mque pecus grandius uber habet Hee prints discontent in his countenance if another atchieve that honour which is beyond his reach Hunc atque hunc superare laborat Hee strives to excell all though he is excelled by all if hee undertakes a great worke which is above the spheare of his capacity hee will give leave to none other like Aesops dogge in the manger Like the snake in the Apologue that lâ—cked off her owne tongue when thinking nothing should have teeth but her selfe shee would have licked the file plaine which shee found with teeth at the Smiths forge he drinkes the most part of his venome and hurts himselfe seeking to hurt others yea he will hurt himselfe so that hee may hurt others Simul peccat plectitur expedita jâ—stitia An expedite kinde of justice when punishment treads upon the heele of sinne For my part I 'le ever embrace Pallas who as the Poets fain stil knocks at the doore of envie that dwels in vallibus imis and so she keeps her from sleeping whom being now stirred and awakned by Pallas I leave with him that loves her till she transforme him to a meere Aglauros as voyd of sense as of humanity A Fortune-teller A Fortune-teller is an idle adle-brain'd fellow who takes upon him as if hee were a bawd to the celestiall bodies by the conjunctions of planets and position of starres to fore-tell the ruines of publike weales to calculate nativities and to fore-tell strange events He pleads a deepe insight into their secrets as if he were their Midwife or as if like the Physitian he had cast the urine of the clouds and knew where the fit held them that it could neither raine nor haile nor snow till some starre had made him her secretary This Aeruscator that strives to get mony by ill meanes tels the fortunes of others uncertainly that hee might encrease his owne certainly if hee tell any thing that comes to passe it is but as if a blinde Archer should hit the Marke Diogenes seeing a fellow that shewed tables of the starres openly say Hae sunt stellae errantes These are the wandring starres answered Ne mentiaris bone vir doe not slander the starres good man that erre not but thy selfe only dost erre by thy vaine speculations of the stars The Tale-tell
Israel forsooke God and worshipped the Golden Calfe so hee will leeve 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 and embrace 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 This miser cannot abide to heare Arist l. 2. Ethic. c 7. of restitution he doth exceed in receiving but is very deficient in giving like the Christmas earthen boxes of Apprentices apt to take in money but hee restores none till hee bee broken like a potters vessell into many shares and then the Divell will have his wicked soule the worms his leane Karkasse which will scarce affoord them a breakfast and some unthrifty heire the golden web which hee like the Spider hath weaved out of the bowels of his long travell and vexed spirit all the dayes of his vanity The end of his ambition is to die rich to others and to live poore to himselfe he toiles like a Dog in a wheel to roast meat for other mens eating There is but one way for this covetous Holdfast to goe to heaven which is to be drawn up by that 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 or golden chaine in Homer Iliad l. 1. reaching from earth to heaven but he knowing that to be a fable wil goe where gold is In viscera terrae hell being his center where I leave him An Angry Man AN angry man is cousin german to a mad man unlesse his anger bee in the best sense which anger is alwayes lawfull being adorned with advised speech in a seasonable time it is to the soule as a nerve to the body The Philosopher calls it Cos fortitudinis the whetstone of fortitude infusing valour in the vindication of a publike or private good As the Vestal fire was preserved by chastity so this by charity But I leave this anger to be followed and follow that anger which is to bee eschewed that anger which is a tyrannicall sinfull passion initium insaniae said Ennius and initium poenitentiae said Seneca the cause Sen. de ira lib. 2. c. 22. Ira sorti producit lacertos imbelli linguam whereof is some conceived injury causa iracundiae opiniâ— injuriae est This heat becomes hate and a malicious desire of revenge exercising the armes of the strong and tongues of the weake and as a noysome pestilent fiery Meteor composed altogether of fuliginous vapours risen from pitchy Acheron it belcheth forth nothing but flames of sedition tumults battels murders and destruction and all through a conflict of two contrary passions assaulting the heart at the same instant griefe and pleasure griefe for the injury offered whereby great heat is gathered about the heart making the face pale and blackish which intestine flame like a subterraneous fire makes an eruption into direfull threats of revenge and enlarges the heart with the pleasure thereof for according to Aristotle Rhet. l. 2. cap. 2. some pleasure through hope of revenge still accompanies this affection which differs from madnesse only temporis mora The Grecians call it 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 from the word 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 appeto because desire of revenge is essentiall to it Aquinas makes three degrees of anger Fel maniam furorem the one hee saith hath beginning and motion but presently ceaseth like a flash of lightning cito oritur cito moritur The other taketh deeper hold in the memory The third desisteth not without revenge for it is kept so long in the vessell of the heart that it waxeth eager and soure and is turned into malice Some are sharpe saith Aristotle who like gunpowder are no sooner touched but they flye in your face others are bitter a third kinde is implacable who like the stone in Arcadia named Asbestos mentioned by Solinus being once set on fire can hardly bee quenched they never unfold their browes as if anger had there plowed the furrowes of her wrath and they graven their injuries in marble they commonly harbour this unruly affection so long in their hearts as the Lacedemonian boy did his Fox till it gnaw out their hearts Furor iraque mentem praecipitant Fury is a meere Circe which maketh a monstrous and inhumane metamorphosis transforming men into cruell Tygres An angry man is altogether irrationall quoad actum secundum He respects neither Prince Priest nor People he reviles al fratremque patremque Of Dametas hee is turned into Hercules furens and while the lightning of his rage lasts hee throwes out the thunderbolts of his rage upon all not sticking in his fiery fury with Hippiâ—â— to butcher his dearest innocent friends Cum spirat irae sanguinem nesciâ— regi when anger breatheâ— forth bloody comminations she knows not how to bee ruled for reason which should steere the little ship of man sayling on the raging sea of affections is now put besides the helme Wisedom cannot be the judge when anger is the sollicitour Men sicke of this Bedlam passion often make irrationall and insensible creatures the objects of their bitternesse Balaam smote his Asse Xerxes levelled the fiery darts of his fierce fury against Athos a Thracian mountaine threatning to cut it downe and cast it â—nto the sea if it were not passable Darius because a river had drowned a white horse of his vowed to cut it into so many chanels that a woman with childe might goe over dry-shood So the Africans being infested with a North winde that covered a Corne field with sand from a mountaine levied an army of men to fight with that winde but the sand became their Sepulchre How much more irrationall and insensible are these men then the things they maligne Any one without spectacles may behold Asses eares under their Lions skins folly in their fury That disease saith Hippocrates is most dangerous in which the sicke man changeth the habit of his mouth and becomes most unlike himselfe And if that be true there is no disease more desperate then anger for it altereth not onely the countenance the language and the gestures of the body but also the faculties of the minde making a man a monster Impatiens animus dirae blasphemia probrum Vltio rixa minae sunt irae pignora septem Other passions dally with a man entice him dazzle him and onely incline him but this commands him compels him blindes him that he â—ees no good and feares no evill Therefore Fury which drives him is painted with a Sword in his hand and for the impatient desire of revenge wherewith hee is inflamed violently rushing upon a Iavelin so that plus â—ocitura est ira quam injuâ—ia anger is more hurtfull then the injury that causes it No Physicke may bee prescribed sâ— long as this Dog-starrâ— predominates The besâ— preservative is to resisâ— the beginning of this evill and as the Pigmieâ— deale with the Cranes cracke it in the shell Iâ— confinibus arcendus est hâ—stis The enemy is be driven back in the frontiers If any man did well consider the great danger oâ— this bloudy passion which like the viper causeth corruption where iâ— hath generation he would hate himselfe foâ—
himselfe but the fire whether for his reforming or judgement A Lawyer GOod Lawes were established to supâ—resse all exorbitant and â—â—centious enormities and â—o extoll and magnifie vertue and truth building them so high in admiraâ—â—on and honour that as â—lomer in his swelling â—tine of fabulous Poetry â—ayd of the celestiall â—nountaine Olympus ◠〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 their foundation may not bee shaâ—en with the winde of â—alse witnesse nor undermined by the sowre-sweet waters of deceit But alas there is another Play acted wherein Dame Lucre is the Prologue and the Epilogue The Lawyer being agent and his Client Patient according to that of our moderne Epigrammatist Ipse tibi causas dicis noâ— Owen Ep. 140. l. 2. Marce Clienti Qui tibi Londinum non sibi portat opes Certa tibi lex est lis est incerta Clienti Tu lucri damni certus ille sui The Lawyer pleads his own not Clients cause Yet Clients money he to London drawes Not for himselfe but for his Lawyers fees Thus Lawyers get how ere the Clients leese The law is plain the poor mans cause in doubt Thus Lawyers gain must hold the Client out A corrupt Lawyer with hisâ— smooth tongue and his eloquent speech full of flourishes like the first letter of a Patent to better it and himselfe by it makes a bad cause seeme to be extra controversiae aleam good without all doubt Hee is a false glasse which howsoever ill favored a man be will shew a faire face Thus with their falsâ— glasses and glosses they intangle the silly client holding him fast in their nets till they perceive â— clean deplumation of alâ— his golden feathers A poore client among theâ— is as a blind sheepe in â— thicket of thornes where hee is sure to lose his fleece if not some of hiâ— flesh Fallacy is the Logicke they choppe with their Countrey attendants altogether seducing them with the dark Lanthorne of delusion Theiâ— Logicke consists more iâ— Division then Definition discord is the musicke â—hey are delighted with where harmonious conâ—ent love and concord is â— Lawyer can live no â—ore in that place then â— spider in Ireland Other â—ens unquietnes is their quietnesse it being their â—appinesse to fish in trouâ—led waters where if â—hey catch not poore â—ohn they 'l make him Clients are so long waftâ—d in the sea of troubles â—y their quirkes and deayes that if they escape â—rowning they are sure â—t last to land at Beggars Haven Their word is â—urrat Lâ—x let the Law â—ave his course but their will is to stop it A motion this Tearme an order next instantly all crossed one Tearme proves contradictory to another the suit runnes on sine termino wherby each Tearme becomes wofulâ— to the client an Hilary tâ— Ignoramus the Lawyer This makes a syllogismâ— so seldome in the moodâ— Festino that he oftentimeâ— makes his moane in Bocardo the one by his Session taking away the others possession Demo sthenes was wont to calâ— the Lawes animam civiâ— tatis the soule of a city or politicke body Anâ— Cyrus being demanded whom in his judgement he conceived to bee unjust Lege inquit non utentes they saith he who use not the Law But now the case is otherwise many that use the Law are most unjust whom I may tax as Aristotle did Laert. lib. 5. the Athenians They labour more to bee advanced to honour and to abound with riches then â—o promote the candour and sincerity of the Law They make the common and Canon Lawes Engines to take away our lands and titles not to secure them And as Solon once complained they make them 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 like Spiders webs which every great Drone will break through at his pleasure when the small Fly is intangled in them to his utter overthrow Plato being earnestly besought of the Cyrenians to prescribe and compose Lawes to their Common wealth refused saying Perdifficile est condere leges tam foelicibus it is hard to establish Lawes to men so opulent and flourishing in so great prosperity Money is the white these conscience'es Lawyers ayme at Their Sunne which is full of motes shines not upon the rich and poore alike If then no plummets but those of an unreasonable weight can set their mercenary tongues a going and then a golden addition can make the hammer strike to our pleasure if they keep their mouths and their eares shut till their purses be full and will not understand a cause till they feele it Quid faciant leges ubi sola Petron. pecunia regnat Aut ubi paupertas vincere nulla potest Why are lawes made where money beares the sway And where poore men are sure to lose the day A Physitian A Physitian hath some affinity with the Lawyer and although they act not the same part on this earthly Theater yet gaine is communis terminus which connects them Iuris consultorum idem Owen Epis 71. l. 1. status medicorum est Dâ—mna quibus licito sunt aliena lucro Hi morbis aegrorum agâ—orum lâ—tibus â—ui Dant pattenter opem dum potiantur opum The Lawyers and Physitians case have neer affinity For others ruines make them rich no doubt most lawfully These sucke the sicke for potions pounds For Law those lands purloine These promise health and so get wealth Those quietnesse for coine When men prevaile in strength of body they consult with the lying Oracle the Lawyer who makes them waâ—t so long attendance and â—o often explicate their wearied joints that hee makes them sicke then they consult with as bad an Oracle the Oracle of Apollo 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 I had almost said the Physitian to recover their former health Ones exit being the others Intrat The dignity of a Physitian is great though sometimes base abjects in themselves are the objects of his speculation and the restauration of a frail habitation is the finis cujus of his practice Christ is a Physitian both of soule and body the body cannot be cured except the soul of the Physician doth prescribe a medicine the soule of the Physitian cannot prescribe a remedy except God who is the soule of his soule doth enlighten that divine part no more then the lower orbes move without the primum mobile Sabid King of Arabid Sabor and Giges Kings of the Medes Mithridates King of Poâ—tus Dionysius Tyr. Siâ—ulus with many other blazing stars in the worlds firmament were professed Physitians The Poets faine Apollo to be â—he first inventer of Physicke or Medicine Inventumque medecinae Metam l. 1. meum est opiferque per orbem Dicor And certainly many Physitians may bee called by the name of Apollo derived from 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 which signifies to perish not onely formaliter but effective for either they are such unskilfâ—ll Empericks as Pliny speaketh of Quâ— experâ—menta per mortes gunt which give men many poysonous pilles to gaine experlence