and get their livings with their fingers that they may have wherewithal to relieve others in necessity Are not these holy and warrantable Labours by which a Husband provides for his Wife and Children Ti. This is a question which in my opinion may be resolv'd several ways First This Text had a particular regard to those times when the Apostles being dispersed far and wide for the Promulgation of the Gospel they were to cast themselves upon Providence for their support without being sollicitous for it themselves having neither leisure to get their living by their labour nor any thing to trust to for it beside Fishing But the World is now at another pass and we are all for Ease Another way of expounding it may be this Christ has not forbid Industry but Anxiety of thought such as commonly possesses those men that are hard put to 't for a Livelihood and set all other things apart only to attend this This is intimated by our Saviour himself when he says that one man cannot serve two Masters For he that wholly delivers himself up to any thing is a Servant to 't Now tho' the Propagation of the Gospel ought to be our Chief yet it is not our only Care. For he says First not Only seek the Kingdom of Heaven and these things shall be added unto you The word To morrow I take to be Hyperbolical and to signifie a time to come Uncertain it being the Custom of the World to be scraping and sollicitous for Posterity Eu. Your Interpretation we allow of But what is his meaning when he says Nè solliciti sitis Animae vestrae quid Edalis The Body is Cloath'd but the Soul does not Eat Ti. By Anima is meant Life which cannot subsist without Meat This does not hold in our Garments which are more for Modesty than Necessity For a Body may live without Cloaths but without Meat it is certain Death Eu. I do not well understand how to reconcile this Passage with that which follows Is not the Life more then Meat and the Body more then Raiment For if Life be so precious we should take the more Care of it Ti. This Argument does rather encrease our trouble then lessen it Eu. But this is none of our Saviours meaning Who by this Argument creates in us a stronger Confidence in the Father for if a bountiful Father hath given us gratis that which is more valuable he will by a stronger reason confer upon us that which is Cheaper He that has give us Life will certainly give us Food He that has given us Bodies will not deny us Cloaths So that upon the experience of his Divine Bounty there is no reason why we should afflict our selves with any Anxiety of Thought for things below What remains then but that using this World as if we used it not we transfer our whole study and application to the love of Heavenly things and rejecting the World and the Devil with all their Vanities and Impostures we chearfully serve God alone who will never forsake his Children But here 's no body takes any Fruit 'T is a Scripture Dinner you have had for there was little care beforehand to provide it Ti. We have sufficiently pamper'd our Carcasses Eu. I should be glad that ye had satisfi'd your Souls Ti. That 's done I assure ye in a larger measure Eu. Take away Boy and bring some Water Now if you please we 'll wash and conclude with a Hymn out of Chrysostome And Pray'e let me be your Chaplain Glory be to thee O God O Holy O King as thou hast given us Meat for our Bodies so replenish our Souls with Ioy and Gladness in thy Holy Spirit that we may be found acceptable in thy sight and not be confounded when thou shalt come to render unto every man according to his Works Boy Amen Ti. A Pious and a most pertinenent Hymn Eu. Of St. Chrysostoms Translation too Ti. Where is it to be found Eu. In his Fifty sixth Homily upon St. Matthew Ti. God willing I 'll read it before I sleep But tell me one thing why these three Atributes of Lord Holy and King Eu. Because all honour is due to our Master and principally in these three respects We call him Lord as the Redeemer of us from the Tyranny of the Devil with his Holy Blood and taking us to himself We stile him Holy as the Sanctifier of all men and not only forgiving us all our sins gratis but by the Holy Spirit cloathing us with his Righteousness that we might follow Holiness And then King as heirs to a Heavenly Kingdom from him who sits and reigns himself at the Right hand of God the Father And all this we owe to his gratuitous Bounty that we have Iesus Christ for our Lord and not Satan that we have Innocence and Sanctity instead of the Filth and Uncleanness of our Sins and for the Torments of Hell the Joys of Life everlasting Ti. 'T is a very Godly discourse Eu. This is your first Visit Gentlemen and I must not dismiss ye without Presents but plain ones and suitable to your Entertainment Bring 'em out here Boy These are all of a Price that is to say they are of no value 'T is all one to me now whether you will draw Lots or chuse You will not find it Heliogabulus's Lottery for one to draw 100 Horses and another as many Flies Here are four little Books two Clocks a Lamp and a Standish which I suppose you will like better then either Balsoms Dentifrices or Looking-glasses Ti. They are all so good that there 's no place for a Preference but rather distribute them your self They 'll come the welcomer where they fall Eu. In this little Book are the Proverbs of Solomon in Parchment It teaches Wisdom and the Gilding is a Symbold of it This must be yours Timotheus that according to the Doctrine of the Gospel to him that has Wisdom shall Wisdom be given Ti. I will make it my study to stand in less need of it Eu. This Clock must be yours Sophronius for I know you count your hours and husband your time It came out of the farther part of Dalmatia and that 's all the Commendation I 'll give it Soph. 'T is a good way of advising a Sluggard to be diligent Eu. You have in this Book the Gospel of St. Matthew I would recommend it to be set with Diamonds if a sincere and candid Breast were not more precious Lay it up there Theophilus and be still more and more suitable to your name Th. I will endeavour to make such use of it that you may not think it ill bestow'd Eu. St. Paul's Epistles your constant Companions Eulalius are in this Book You have them often in your mouth which would not be if they were not also in your heart Hereafter keep 'em in your hand and in your eye Eu. This is a Gift with good Counsel over and above which is of all Gifts the most
to joyn in Counsel and Society with those Illustrious Spirits that are gone before Thus far Cato What could a Christian have said more The Dialogue of this Aged Pagan with the Youth of his times will rise up in Judgment against many of our Monks with their Holy Virgins Eu. It will be objected that this Colloquy of Tully's was but a Fiction Ch. 'T is all one to me whether the honour be Cato's for the sense and expression of this Rapture or Cicero's for the Divinity of the Contemplation and the Excellency of representing his thoughts in words answerable to the Matter Tho' I 'm apt to think that although these very Syllables were not Cato's yet that his familiar Conversations were not far from this purpose Neither had Tully the Confidence to draw a Cato fairer then he was especially in a time when his Character was yet fresh in the Memories of all men Beside that such an Unlikeness in a Dialogue would have been a great indecorum and enough to have blasted the Credit of the Discourse Th. That which you say is very likely but let me tell you what came into my head upon your Recital I have often wonder'd with my self considering that long Life is the Wish and Death the Terrour of all Mortals that there is scarce any man so happy I do not speak of Old but of middle-ag'd-men but if it should be offer'd him to be young again if he would upon Condition of running the same Fortune over again of Good and Ill he would make the same Answer that Cato did especially passing a true reflection upon the mixture of his past Life For the remembrance even of the pleasantest part of it is commonly attended with shame and sting of Conscience insomuch that the Memory of past delights is more painful to us then that of past misfortunes Wherefore it was wisely done of the Antient Poets in the Fable of Lethe to make the Dead drink the Water of Forgetfulness before their Souls were affected with any desire of the Bodies they had left behind ' em Vr. It is a thing that I my self have observ'd in some Cases and well worthy of our Admiration But That in Cato which takes me the most is his Declaration that he did not repent himself of his past Life Where 's the Christian that lives to his Age and can say as much 'T is a common thing for men that have scrap'd Estates together by hook or by crcok to value themselves at their death upon the Industry and Success of their Lives But Cato's saying that he had not liv'd in vain was grounded upon the Conscience of having discharg'd all the Parts of an honest and a resolute Citizen and Patriot and untainted Magistrate and that he should transmit to Posterity the Monuments of his Integrity and Virtue I depart says he as out of a Lodging not a dwelling Place What could be more Divine I am here upon sufferance till the Master of the house says â—e gone A man will not easily be forc'd from his own Home but the fall of a Chimney the spark of a Coal and a thousand petty Accidents drive us out of this World or at the best the Structure of our Bodies falls to pieces with Old Age and moulders to Dust every moment admonishing us that we are to change our Quarters Nephalius That expression of Socrates in Plato is rather methinks the more significant of the Two. The Soul of a man says he is in the Body as in a Garison There 's no quitting of it without the leave of the Captain nor any longer staying in 't then during the pleasure of him that plac'd it there The Allusion of a Garison is much more Emphatical than that of a House For in the One is only imply'd an Abode and that perhaps an Idle one too whereas in the Other we are put upon Duty by our Governor And much to this purpose it is that the Life of Mâ—n in Holy Writ is one while called a Warfare and another while a Race Vr. But Cato's Speech methinks has some affinity with that of St. Paul 2 Cor. chap. 5. where he calls that Heavenly station which we look for after this Life in one place a House in another a Mansion and the Body he calls 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 or a Tabernacle For we also says he in this Tabernacle groan being burthened Neph So St. Peter 2. 1. And I think it meet says he as long as I am in this Tabernacle to stir ye up by putting you in mind being assured that I shall shortly put off this my Tabernaâ—le And what says Christ himself Mat. 24. Mar. 13. and Luke 21. That we should so live and Watch as if we were presently to Die and so apply our selves to honest things as if we were to live for ever Now who can hear these words of Cato Oh that glorious Day without thinking of St. Paul's I desire to be dissolved and to be with Christ Ch. How happy are they that wait for Death in in such a state of mind But yet in Cato's Speech tho' it be great there is more boldness and Arrogance in it methinks then would become a Christian No certainly never any Ethnique came nearer up to us then Socrates to Crito before he took his Poyson Whether I shall be approved or not in the sight of God I câ—â—not tell but this I am certain of that I have most affectionately en leavour'd to please him And I am in good hope that he will accept the Will for the Deed. This great mans diffidence in himself was yet so comforted by the Conscience of Pious Inclinations and an absolute Resignation of himself to the Divine Will that he deliver'd up himself in a dependence upon Gods Mercy and Goodness even for the Honesty of his Intentions Neph What a wonderful Elevation of Mind was this in a man that only Acted by the light of Nature I can hardly read the Story of this Worthy without a Sancte Socrates Ora pro nobis Saint Socrates pray for us and I have as much ado sometime to keep my self from wishing well to the Souls of Virgil and Horace But how distracted and fearful have I seen many Christians upon the last Extremity Some put their Trust in things not to be Confided in others breath out their Souls in desperation either out of a Conscience of their lewd Lives or some scruples perhaps injected into their thoughts by medling with indiscreet men at their dying hours Ch. And 't is no wonder to find those disorder'd at their Deaths who have spent their whole Lives in the Formality of Philosophizing about Ceremonies Neph What do you mean by Ceremonies Ch. I 'll tell ye but with this Protestation over and over before hand that I am so far from Condemning the Sacraments and Rites of the Church that I have them in high Veneration But there are a wicked and superstitious sort of People or in good Manners I
〈◊〉 a Cat in a Lac'd Petticoat Po. Nay I assure ye here 's Vermilion and Azure upon my Book as well as Crocus or Saffron Ca. I do not speak of Crocus which is Saffron but you mistake Crocoton which is a Greek word for Crocus Is it a Military Book that same For by the Bosses and Plates upon 't it seems to be Arm'd Po. Look into 't Ca. I see what 't is and 't is very fine but not so fine as it might be tho Po. Why what wants it Ca. You should do well to put your Arms upon 't Po. What Arms Ca. An Asses head looking out of a Hogshead What 's the subject of it the Art of Drinking Po. You 'l speak Blasphemy before you 're aware Ca. Why so Is there any thing in 't that 's Sacred Po. If the Holy Gospel be not sacred I pray'e what is Ca. The Lord deliver us what has Polyphemus to do with the Gospel Po. And pray'e let me ask you what a Christian has to do with Christ Ca. Truly methinks a Halbert would become you a great deal better For if any Man that did now know ye should meet ye at Sea he would certainly take ye for a Pirate Or in a Wood for a Highwayman Po. But the Gospel teaches us not to judge of men by Outward Appearances For tho' 't is true that many a Knaves Head lies under a Cowl yet it falls out sometime that a Modish Wigg a Pair of Spanish Whiskers a Stern Brow a Buff-Coat and a Feather in the Cap accompany an Evangelical Mind Ca. And why not as well as a Sheep sometimes in the Skin of a Wolf And if we believe Emblems many an Ass lurks under the Coat of a Lion Po. Nay I know a man my self that looks as Innocent as a sheep and yet 's a Fox in 's Heart I could wish he had as Candid Friends as he has black Eyes and that he had as well the Value of Gold as he had the Colour of it Ca. If he that wears a Woollen Hat must consequently wear a Sheeps Head what a Burthen do You march under that carry an Estrich in your Cap over and above But he is more Monstrous yet that 's a Bird in his Head and an Ass in his Breast Po. That 's too sharp Ca. But it were well if you were as much the better for your Book as That 's the Gayer for You And that in exchange for Colours it might furnish you with Good Manners Po. I 'le make it my Care. Ca. After the Old way Po. But Bitterness aside Is it a Crime do you think for a man to carry the Gospel about with him Ca. Not in the least minimè Gentium Po. Will you say that I am the least in the World that am by an Asses head Taller than your self Ca. That 's a little too much even tho' the Ass should prick up his Ears Po. By an Ox-head I dare say Ca. That Comparison does well enough But I said minimè the Adverb not minime the Vocative Case of the Adjective Po. Pray'e what 's the Difference betwixt an Egg and an Egg Ca. And what 's the Difference say you betwixt the Middle-Finger and the Little-Finger Po. the Middle is the Longer Ca. Most acute And what 's the Difference betwixt the Ears of an Ass and those a Wolf Po. A Wolf's Ears are shorter Ca. Why there 's the point Po. But I am us'd to measure Long and short by the Span and by the Yard not by the Ears Ca. Well said He that carry'd Christ was called Christopher so that instead of Polyphemus I shall call you the Gospel-Bearer Po. Do not you account it a Holy thing then to carry the Gospel Ca. No not at all unless you 'l allow me that Asses are the greatest Saints Po. What do you mean by That Ca. Because one Ass will carry at least Three thousand such Books and I am persuaded if you were but well hamper'd that you would be able to carry as many your self Po. In That sense I think there 's no Absurdity to say an Ass may be Holy. Ca. And I shall never envy you That Holiness If ye have a mind to 't I 'le give ye some of the Reliques to Kiss of the very Ass that our Saviour rode upon Po. You cannot oblige me More For That Ass could not but be Consecrated by the very Contact Ca. But there was Contact too in those that smote our Saviour Po. But tell me seriously is it not a Pious thing for a Man to carry the New Testament about him Ca. If it be done out of Affection and without Hypocrisie it is Piously done Po. Tell the Monks of your Hypocrisie what has a Souldier to do with it Ca. But tell me First what is the meaning of Hypocrisie Po. When a man seems to be One thing and is really Another Ca. But what signifies the carrying of the Gospel about you Does it not intimate a Holy Life Po. I suppose it does Ca. Now where a man's Life is not sutable to his Books is not That Hypocrisie Po. It may be so But what is that you will allow to be carrying the Gospel as we ought Ca. Some carry it about in their Hands as the Franciscans do the Rule of St. Francis and at That Rate a Porter an Ass or a Gelding may carry it as well as a Christian. There are Others that carry it in their Mouths and only Talk of Christ and the Gospel and those are Pharisees And there are Others that carry it in their Hearts But those are the True Gospel-Bearers that have it in all Three their Hands their Mouth and their Hearts Po. But where are those Ca. What do you think of those that Minister in the Churches that both Carry the Book Read it to the People and Meditate upon it Po. As if any Man could carry the Gospel in his Heart and not be a Holy Man. Ca. Let us have no Sophistry No Man carries the Gospel in his Heart that does not love it with all his Soul and no Man loves it as he ought to do that does not Conform to it in his Life Po. These are subtilties out of my Reach Ca. I 'le be plainer then For a Man to carry a Flaggon of Wine upon his shoulders it 's a Burden Po. No doubt of it Ca. What if a Man swills a soup of Wine in his Mouth and throws it out again Po. He 's never the better for 't Tho' that 's none of my way Ca. But to come to your way then what if he Gulps it down Po. There 's nothing more Divine Ca. It warms his Body brings his Blood into his Cheeks and gives him a merry Countenance Po. Most Certain Ca. And so it is with the Gospel He that takes it affectionately into his Soul finds himself presently a New Man after it Po. And you think perhaps that I do not lead my Life according to my Book Ca. That 's a Question
loves to be where he 's crouded For says he the more People the more Profit Eu. Pre'thee let 's leave the Blind Beggar then and behave our selves like Philosophers Ti. Was not Socrates a Philosopher And yet he was for a Town-life where a man might learn what he had a mind to know In the Country 't is true ye have Woods Gardens Springs and Brooks that may entertain the Eye but these are all mute and there 's no Edification without Discourse Eu. Socrates puts the Case I know of a Man's walking alone in the Fields not as if any of the Works of the Creation wanted a Tong for every part of it speaks to the Instruction of any Man that has but a good Will and a Capacity to learn. Do but consider the native Glories of the Spring how they set forth and proclaim the equal Wisdom and Goodness of the Creator How many excellent things did Socrates in his Retirement both teach Phaedrus and learn from him Ti. A Country Life I must confess in such Company were a Paradise Eu. If you have a mind to make Trial of it take a Dinner with me to morrow a step here out o' th' Town I have a plain little House there but I 'le promise you a cleanly and a hearty Welcome Ti. We are enow to eat ye up Eu. Never fear that so long as the Melons the Figgs Pears Apples and Nuts last And 't is but gaping neither to have the Fruit fall into your Mouths In one Word you are to expect only a Garden Treat unless perhaps we should search the Hen-roost for a Pullet the very Wine grows on the place too so that there 's not one penny of mony in the case Ti. Upon these Terms we'el be your Guests Eu. Let every man bring his Friend too and then we are the just number of the Muses Ti. A Match Eu. And take notice that though I find Meat you are to bring Sauce Ti. What do you mean Pepper and Sugar Eu. No no a thing that 's both more savoury and cheaper Ti. What may that be Eu. A good Stomach A light Supper to night and a Walk to morrow morning does it for the Walk you may thank me But what hour will you eat at Ti. About Ten before the heat of the Day Eu. I 'le give order for 't Servant Sir the Gentlemen are come Eu. You 're welcome my Masters for coming according to your words but you 're twice as wellcome for coming so Early and bringing the best Cmpany in the World along with ye It is a kind of unmannerly Civility methinks in some people to make their Host wait Ti. We came so much the sooner that we might have time enough to look over all your Curiosities for they say you live like a Prince here and that the very contrivances about your House tell who 's the Master of it Eu. And you will find it a Palace I can assure ye worthy of such a Prince This Nest is to me more than an Imperial Court and if Liberty be a Kingdom here do I Reign But what if we should take the Cool of the morning now to see the Gardens while the Wench in the Kitchin provides us a Sallad Ti. Never was any thing in better order The very Design of this Garden bids a man welcome to 't Have you any more then this Eu. Here are Flowers and Greens that will serve to put by a worse Scent Let every man take freely what he likes for this place lies in a manner in Common I never shut it up but a nights Ti. St Peter Keeps the Gate I perceive Eu. A Porter that pleases me much better than the Mercuries Centaurs and fictious Monsters that I see in other places Ti. And more suitable to Christianity too Eu. And he 's no Mute neither for he accosts you in three Languages Ti. What does he say Eu. You may read it your self Ti. 'T is too far off for my eyes Eu. Here 's a Glass then will make ye see through an Inch-board Ti. I have the Latin. Si vis ad vitam ingredi serva Mandata Mat. 19. 17. If thou wilt enter into Life keep the Commandements Eu. Now read the Greek Ti. I see the Greek but that does not see me Let Theophilus speak to that point for he 's never without Greek in 's mouth Th. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Repent and be converted Acts 3. 19. Ch. Now leave the Hebrew to me 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 in Truth and Righteousness Eu. You 'le take him perchance for an unmannerly Porter that at first dash bids ye turn from your Iniquities and applie yourself to Godliness And then tells ye that Salvation comes not from the works of the Law but from Faith in the Gospel and the observance of the Evangelical precepts Ti. And see the Chappel there on the right hand that he directs us to it is a very fine one There 's Iesus Christ upon an Altar pointing up to Heaven with his Right hand towards God the Father and the Holy Ghost and with his Left he seems to Court and Invite all Comers Eu. And he Greets you in three Languages too Ego sum Via Veritas et Vita I am the Way the Truth and the Life 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 I am the Alpha and Omega 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Come ye Children unto me I will teach ye the fear of the Lord. Ti. This Greeting looks like a good Omen Eu. And it is but just and devout to pay back an Acknowledgment with Supplications to our blessed Saviour that he will vouchsafe since we can do nothing of our selves by his infinite Goodness to keep us in the right Way and bring us by the Truth of the Gospel to everlasting Life drawing us by himself to himself all superstitious Vanities and Delusions apart Ti. It is most reasonable that we should pray and the very Place invites us to 't Eu. Strangers are generally pleased with this Garden and hardly a Man that passes by this place without an Ejaculation Instead of the Infamous Priapus I have committed not only my Gardens but all my Possessions both of Body and Mind to the Protection of my Saviour This bubling Fountain of Living Waters represents that only Fountain of Life that refreshes all that are weary and opprest with it's divine Streams the Fountain which the languishing Soul longs for as the Hart in the Psalmist does for the Brooks The Fountain which whoever Thirsts for may have his fill gratis Some that come hither make it a matter of Religion to sprinkle themselves with it and others to drink of it You are loath I perceive to leave this place But let 's go on and I 'le shew you a square wall'd Garden here beyond that 's better worth your seeing After Dinner wee 'l view what 's withâ—n dores for till towards Evening 't will be so hot there 's no looking out of our shels Ti. Bless me what a delicious
extraordinary do commonly betake themselves to a Retreat But why should this kind of Life be call'd a Solitude when one single Friend is a most delightful Contradiction to it I have here almost twenty Companions to all Sociable and Honest Purposes Visits more than I desire and indeed more than are expedient So. But you cannot have these always to talk with Ca. Nor would I if I could For Conversation is the Pleasanter for being sometime interrupted So. I fancy so too for I never relish Flesh so well as I do after a Strict Lent. Ca. Neither am I without Companions when you take me most to be alone and for Delight and Entertainment worth a Thousand of your Drolls and Buffoons So. Where are they Ca. Look you here are the four Evangelists In this Book I can confer with him that accompanied the two Disciples in their way to Emaus and with his Heavenly Discourse made them forget the trouble of their Journey With Him that made their Hearts burn within them and inflam'd them with a Divine Ardor of receeiving his blessed Words In this little Study I converse with Paul Isaiah and the rest of the Prophets Chrysostome Basil Austin Ierome Cyprian with a World of other Learned and Eloquent Doctors Where have you such Company Abroad as this Or what do you talk of Solitude to a Man that has always This Society So. But these People will signifie nothing to me that do not understand ' em Ca. Now for our Diet As to the Quantity Nature contents her self with a little and for the Quality of it a Belly full's a Belly full no matter what it is Your Palate calls for Partridge Pheasant Capon and a piece of Stock-Fish satisfies mine and yet I am perswaded my Body is as good Flesh and Blood as yours So. If you had a Wife as I have perhaps 't would take off some of your Mettle Ca. But however we are at Ease let our Meat be never so Plain or never so little So. In the mean time ye live like Iews Ca. You are too quick if we cannot come up to Christianity we do at least aim at it So. You place too much Holiness in Meats Formularies and other Ceremonies neglecting the more weighty Duties of the Gospel Ca. Let others answer for themselves but for my own part I place no sort of Confidence in those things but only in Christ and in the Sanctity of the Mind So. Why do ye observe these things then Ca. For the preserving of Peace and the avoiding of Scandal There 's little trouble in such a Conformity and I would not offend my Brother for so small a matter Let the Garment be what it will Men are yet so Nice that agreement or disagreement even in the smallest Matters has a strange Influence upon the Publick Peace The shaving of the Head or the colour of the Habit gives me no Title of it self to Gods Favour and Protection And yet if I should let my Hair grow or change my Gown for a Buff-coat would not the People take me for a Phantastical Coxcomb I have now told you My sense and pray'e let me have Yours in requital You ask't me e'en now If there were no Physicians in this Quarter when I put my self into a Cloyster Where were they I beseech you when you left your young Wife and pretty Children at Home to Enrol your self a Souldier A Mercenary Bravo to cut the Throats of yeur Fellow Christians for Wages And your business did not lye among Poppyes and Rushes neither but with Pikes and Gun-shot where over and above the miserable Trade of Cutting their Throats for Money that never did you Hurt you expose your Self Body and Soul to Eternal Damnation But here 's none of this in a Cloyster So. Is it not Lawful then to Kill an Enemy Ca. Yes and Pious too if it be in the defence of your Country your Wife and Children your Parents and Friends your Religion Liberties and the Publick Peace But what is This to a Souldier of Fortune If you had been knockt on the Head in this service I would not have given a Nut-shell to redeem the very Soul of you So. No Ca. As I am honest I would not Speak your Conscience Is it not better to be under the Command of a Good Man whom we call our Prior one that summons us to Prayers Holy Lectures the hearing of saving Doctrine and the Glorifying of God than to be subject to some Barbarous Officer that Posts you away upon Marches at Midnight sends you at his Pleasure hither and thither backward and forward exposes you to Shot great and small and assigns you your Station where upon Necessity you must either Kill or be Kill'd So. And all this is short yet Ca. In case of any Transgression here upon the Point of Discipline the Punishment is only Admonition or some such slight Business But in War you must either hang for 't if you cannot compound for Beheading or run the Gantlope So. All this is too true Ca. And what have ye got now by all your great Adventures Not much if a Man may judg by your Patch'd Breeches So. Nay my own Stock is gone long since and a good deal of other Peoples Money too So that my business here is only to entreat you for a Viaticum Ca. I would you had come hither before you embark'd your self in this Lewd Employment But how come you to be so Bare So. So Bare do ye say Why all 's gone in Wenches Dice and Tipple My Pay my Plunders and all the Advantages I made by Rapine Theft and Sacrilege Ca. Miserable Creature And all this while your Wife and your poor Children left to the wide World to grieve themselves to Death the Woman that you promis'd to forsake Father and Mother for And still you call this Living which was but wallowing in your Iniquities So. The thing that Egg'd me on was that I sinn'd in so much Company Ca. Will your Wife know you again do you think So. Why not Ca. Your Scars have made you the Picture of quite another Man. What a Trench have you got here in your Forehead as if you had had a Horn cut out So. But if you knew the business you 'd say I came off well with a Scar. Ca. What was the matter So. There was an Engine brake and a Splinter of it struck me there Ca. And that long Scar upon your Cheek So. This I received in a Battle Ca. What Battle In the Field So. No It was a Battle at Diâ—e upon a quarrel about the Cast. Ca. Your Chin too looks as if 't were stuck with Rubies So. That 's a small matter Ca. Some Blow with a French Faggot-stick as they say So. Right It was my Third Clap and it had like to have been my Last Ca. But you walk too as if your Back were broke like a Man of a hundred years old what makes you go double so as if you were
suffer'd a great deal tho in this Life Br. And yet St. Ierome suffer'd more 'T is a Blessing to be persecuted by wicked Men for being Good. Po. I confess it and St. Ierome suffered many Indignities from wicked Men for his Virtues Br. That which Satan did formerly by the Scribes and Pharisees against our Saviour he continues still to do by Pharisees against Good Men that have deserved well from the World by their Studies He does now reap the Fruit of the Seed that was Sow'd In the mean time it will be our part to preserve his memory Sacred to glorify him and to address to him in some such manner as follows Holy Soul be Propitious to Languages and to those that Cultivate and Refine them Favour Holy Tongues and destroy Evil Tongues that are infected with the Poyson of Hell. Po. I 'll do 't my self and perswade all my Friends to do 't I make no question but we shall find those that will employ their interest to get some little Form of Prayer according to Custom to perpetuate the Honour and Memory of this blessed Hero. Br. Do you mean that which they call a Collect Po. Yes Br. I have one ready that I provided before his Death Po. I pray'e let 's hear it Br. O God that art the Lover of Mankind and by thy chosen Servant John Reuchlin hast renewed to Mankind the Gift of Tongues by which thy Holy Spirit from above did formerly enable the Apostles for the Preaching of the Gospel Grant that all People may in all Tongues Preach the Glory of thy Son to the confounding of the Tongues of the false Apostles who being in Confederacy to uphold the wicked Tower of Babel endeavour to obscure thy Glory by advancing their own when to thee alone is due all Glory c. Po. A most Elegant and Holy Prayer And it shall be my daily one How happy was this Occasion to me that brought me to the knowledg of so Edifying and so Delightful a Story Br. May that Joy last long too and so Farewel THE FUNERAL COL XII In the differing Ends of Belearicus and Montius here is set forth the Vanity Pomp and Superstition of the Funerals of some Rich and Worldly Men With the Practices of too many of the Monks upon them in their Extremities As also how a Good Christian ought to demean himself when he comes to Dye MARCOLPHUS PHAEDRUS Ma. WHY 〈◊〉 go Matters Phaedrus Thou look'st methinks as if thou hadst been eaten and spew'd up again Ph. Why so I beseech ye Ma. So sad so sowre so ghastly so forlorn a Wight Thou hast not one bit of Phaedrus about thee Phaed. What can you expect better from one that has been so many days among the Sick the Dying and the Dead You might as well wonder to see a Black-Smith or a Chimney-Sweeper with a dirty Face Well Marcolphus Two such Losses are enough to put any Man out of Humour Ma. Have you buri'd any of your Friends then Ph. You knew George Balearicus Ma. Only his Name but I never saw his Face Ph. He 's one and Cornelius Montius the other my very particular Friend but he I suppose was wholly a Stranger to you Ma. It was never my Fortune yet to see any Man breathe his last Ph. But it has been mine too often if I might have had my wish Ma. Pray'e tell me is Death so Terrible as they make it Ph. The Way to 't is worse than the Thing it self for the Apprehension is the greatest part of the Evil. Beside that our Resignation to the Will of God makes all the Bitterness as well of Sickness as of Death casy to us There can be no great Sense of any thing in the Instant of the Souls leaving the Body For before it comes to that point the Faculty it self is become Dull and Stupid and commonly laid asleep Ma. What do we feel when we 're Born Ph. The Mother feels something however if we do not Ma. Why would not Providence let us go out of the World as smoothly as we came into 't Ph. Our Birth is made painful to the Mother to make the Child dearer to her and Death is made formidable to Mankind to deter us from laying violent Hands upon our Selves for if so many make away themselves as the case stands already what would they do if the dread of Death were taken away If a Servant or a Child were but corrected a Family-quarrel started a Sum of Money lost or any thing else went Cross Men would presently repair to Halters Swords Rivers Preciplces Poysons for their Relief It is the Terror of Death that makes us set the greater value upon Life especially considering that there 's no Redemption for the Dead are out of the reach of the Doctor Now so it is that we do not all either come into the World or go out of it alike Some dye sooner others later some one way some another A Lethargy takes a Man away without any Sense of Death as if he were Stung with an Asp he goes off in 's Sleep Or be it as it will There is no Death so Tormenting but that a Man may overcome it with Resolution Ma. Pray'e tell me which of your two Friends bore his Fate the most like a Christian Ph. Why truely in my Opinion George dy'd the more like a Man of Honour Ma. Is there any Sense of Ambition then when we come to that Point Ph. I never saw two People make such different Ends. If you 'll give it the Hearing I 'll tell you the Story and leave you to judge which was likest a Christian. Ma. Let 's have it I beseech ye for I have the greatest mind in the World to hear 't Ph. I 'll begin with my Friend George So soon as ever it could be certainly known that his Hour was drawing on the Physitians that had attended him throughout his Sickness gave to understand the Pains they had taken and that there was matter of Money in the Case but not a Word of the Despair they had of his Life Ma. How many Physitians might there be Ph. Sometimes Ten sometimes Twelve but never under Six Ma. Enow in all Conscience to have done the Business of a Man in perfect Health Ph. Their Money was no sooner paid but they privately hinted to some of his near Relations that his Death was at hand and advis'd them to take the best Care they could for the good of his Soul for his Body was past hope This was handsomely intimated by some of his particular Friends to George himself desiring him that he would remit the Business of his Life to Providence and turn his Thoughts now toward the Comforts of another World. Upon this News George cast many a soure Look at the Physitians taking it very heinously that they should now leave him in his distress They told him that Physitians were but Men not Gods and that they had done as much as Art could do to save
bent upon the Ruine of One Another insomuch that they have possest every Part of Christendom with this Fury of Rage and Ambition These Three are sufficient to Engage all the Lesser Princes and States in their Quarrel and so Wilful that they 'l rather Perish then Yield The Dane the Pole the Scot nay and the Turk Himself are Dipt in the Broyl and the Design The Contagion is got into Spain Britany Italy and France Nay besides these Feuds of Hostility and Arms there 's a worse matter yet behind That is to say there is a Malignity that takes it's Rise from a Diversity of Opinions which has Debauch'd Mens minds and manners to so Unnatural and Insociable a Degree that it has left neither Faith nor Friendship in the World. It has broken all Confidence betwixt Brother and Brother Husband and Wife And it is to be hop'd that this Distraction will one day produce a glorious Confusion to the very Desolation of Mankind For these Controversies of the Tongue and of the Pen will come at last to be tried by the Swords Point Al. And Fame has said no more in All this than what these very Ears and Eyes have heard and seen For I have been a constant Companion and Assistant to These Furies and can speak upon Knowledge that they have approv'd themselves worthy of their Name and Office. Ch. Right but Mens minds are Variable and what if some Devil should starâ— up now to Negotiate a peace There goes a Rumour I can assure ye of a certain Scribling Fellow one Erasmus they say that has enter'd upon that Province Al. Ay Ay But He talks to the Deaf There 's no Body heeds Him now a days He Wâ—it a kind of a Hue and Cry after Peace that he Phansy'd to be either Fled or Banish'd And after that an Epitaph upon Peace Defunct and all to no purpose But then we have those on the other hand that advance our cause as heartily as the very Furies Themselves Ch. And what are they I prethee Al. You may observe up and down in the Courts of Princes certain Animals some of them Trick'd up with Feathers Others in White Russet Ash Colour'd Frocks Gowns Habits Or call 'em what you will These are the Instruments you must know that are still Irritating Kings to the Thirst of War and Blood under the splendid Notion of Empire and Glory And with the same Art and Industry they enflame the Spirits of the Nobility likewise and of the Common-People Their Sermons are only Harangues in honour of the out-rages of Fire and Sword under the Character of a Iust a Religious or a Holy War. And which is yet more Wonderful they make it to be Gods Cause on Both sides God Fights for us is the cry of the French Pulpits And what have they to fear that have the Lord of Hosts for their Protector Acquit your selves like Men say the English and the Spaniard and the Victory is Certain For This is God Cause not Caesars As for those that fall in the Battle their Souls mount as directly to Heaven as if they had Wings to carry 'em thither Arms and all Ch. But do their Disciples believe all this Al. You cannot imagine the Power of a Well dissembled Religion where there 's Youth Ignorance Ambition and a natural Animosity to work upon 'T is an easie matter to Impose where there is a Previous Propension to be Deceiv'd Ch. Oh that it did but lie in my Power to do these People a good Office Al. Give 'em a Magnificent Treat then there 's nothing they 'l take better Ch. It must be of Mallows Lupines and Leeks then for we have nothing else you know Al. Pray let it be Patridge Capons Pheasant they 'l never think they 'r welcome else Ch. But to the point what should set these People so much a Gog upon Sedition and Broyles What can they get by 't Al. Do not you know then that they get more by the Dead then by the Living Why there are Testaments Funerals Bulls and Twenty other pretty Perquisites that are worth the looking after Besides that a Camp-Life agrees much better with their Humour then to lie droneing in their Cells War breeds Bishops and a very Block-Head in a Time of Peace comes many times to make an Excellent Military Prelate Ch. Well! They understand their business Al. Stay But to the matter of a Boat what necessity of having another Ch. Nay 't is but Swiming once again instead of Rowing Al. Well but now I think on 't how came the Boat to sink Ch. Under the Weight of the Passengers Al. I thought you had carry'd Shadows only not Bodies What may be the Weight I prethee of a Cargo of Ghosts Ch. Why let 'em be as Light as Water-Spiders there may be enow of them to do a bodies Work. But then my Vessel is a kind of a Phantome too Al. I have seen the time when you had as many Ghosts as you could Stow a-Bord and Three or Four Thousand more hanging at the Stern and your Barque me thought never so much as felt on 't Ch. That is all according as the Ghosts are For your Hectical phthisical Souls that go-off in a Consumption weigh little or nothing But those that are Torn out of Bodies in a Habit of Foul Humours as in Apoplexyes Quinzies Fevers and the like But most of all in the Chance of War These I must tell ye carry a great deal of Corpulent and gross matter along with them Al. As for the Spaniards and the French methinks they should not be very Heavy Ch. No nor comparatively with Others And yet I do not find them altogether so Light as Feathers neither But for the Brittains and the Germans that are rank Feeders I had only Ten of 'em a-Bord once and if I had not Lighten'd my Boat of part of my Lading we had all gone to the Bottom Al. You were hard put to 't I find Ch. Ay but what do ye think when we are Pester'd with Great Lords Hectors and Buâ—lies Al. You were speaking of a Iust War e'en now You have nothing to do I presume with those that fall in such a War These go to rights all to Heaven they say Ch. Whither they go I know not but this I 'm sure of Let the War be what it will it sends us such sholes of Cripples that a body would think there were not one Soul more left above ground and they come over-charg'd not only with Gut and Surfeits but with Patents Pardons Commissions and I know not how much Lumber besides Al. Do they not come Naked to the Ferry then Ch. Yes yes but at their first coming they are strangely haunted with the Dreams of all these things Al. Are Dreams so Heavy then Ch. Heavy d' ye say Why they have Drown'd my Boat already And then there 's the Weight of so many Halfe-pence over and above Al. That 's somewhat I must confess if they be Brass Ch.
you here now Pa. I dislik'd nothing at all For I found them very good Company But I had an Old saying in my head That such a Thing must either be done or it must not be done So that I was e'en Resolv'd either to be a Monk in Perfection or no Monk at all I was told after this that the Holiest Men upon the Face of the Earth were those of the Order of St. Bridget And these were the People that I thought to live and dye withal Eu. And how many Months were you with them I beseech ye Pa. Neither Months nor Weeks but in Truth almost Two Days Gl. You were mightily fond sure of this kind of Life to stay so long in 't Po. They take no body in you must know but those that are presently profest and I was not so mad yet as to put my Neck into such a Noose that it could never be got out again And then the Singing of the Nuns put me out of my Wits almost with reminding me of my last Mistress Gl. Well! And what after this Pa. My Heart was wholly set upon Religion but yet upon this Ramble from one thing to another I could not meet with any thing to my mind But walking up and down afterwards I fell into a Troop of Cross-Bearers Some carry'd White Crosses Others Red Green Party Colour'd some Single some Double some Quadruple and some again several Sorts and Forms of Crosses I had a Reverence for the Christianity of the Memorial but I was confounded which Form or Colour to make choice of before another So that for fear of the worst I carry'd some of every sort But upon the whole matter I found there was a great difference betwixt the Figure of a Cross upon a Garment and a Cross in the Heart When I had Hunted my self weary and never the nearer my Journies end it came into my Head that a Pilgrimage to the Holy Land would do my Work. For let a Man go to Ierusalem a very Devil he comes back a Saint Po. And thither you went then Pa. Yes Po. Upon whose charge I prethee Pa. That should have been your first Question But you know the Old Proverb A Man of Art will Live any where Gl. And what 's your Art I beseech you Pa. Palmistry Gl. Where did you serve your time to 't Pa. What 's that to the business Gl. Under what Master Pa. The great Master of all Sciences the Belly In little I set-up for a Fortune-Teller And there did I lay about me upon the Topique of things Past Present and to Come Gl. Upon good grounds I hope Pa. The Devil a bit that I knew of the matter But I set a good Face on 't and ran no Risque neither For I was paid still before hand Po. That ever so senseless an Imposture should find a Man Bread. Pa. And yet so it is that I maintain'd my self and a Brace of Lacquies very decently upon the Credit of it Why how should Knaves live without a World of Fools of both Sexes to work upon So soon as I got to Ierusalem I put my self into the Train of a Rich Noble-Man of about Seventy Years of Age that could never have Dy'd in Peace he said if he had not blest his Eyes with the sight of that Holy Place Eu. He had no Wife I hope to leave behind him Pa. Yes and six Children into the bargain Eu. A most Impious Religious Old Man But you came back I suppose a Man of another World. Pa. No but to deal plainly with you somewhat worse then I went. Eu. So that your Zeal for Religion was cool'd I perceive Pa. Nay on the contrary hotter then e're it was And therefore I return'd into Italy and apply'd my self to a Military Life Eu. You sought for Religion in the Camp it seems the most unlikely place under the Heavens to find it in Pa. Ay but it was a Holy War. Eu. Against the Turks perchance Pa. Nay a Holier War then that or the Doctors were besides the Cushion Eu. How so Pa. It was the War betwixt Iulius the Second and the French. And then I had a phansie to a Souldiers Life for the knowledge it gives a Man of the World. Eu. It brings a man to the knowledge of many things that he had better be Ignorant of Pa. I found it so afterwards And yet I suffer'd more hardship in the Field then in the Cloyster Eu. Well and where were you next now Pa. Why I was thinking with my self whether I should back again to the business of a Merchant that I had laid aside or press forward in the pursuit of Religion that fled before me While my thoughts were in this Ballance it came into my mind that I might do both under one Eu. What And set up for a Merchant and a Monk both together Pa. Well! And why not What are your 〈◊〉 but a kind of Religious Traders They flie over Sea and Land. They see they hear every thing that passes They enter into all Privacies and the Doors of Kings Noble-men and Commoners are all open to them Eu. Ay but they do not deal for gain Pa. Yes and with better success many times then we do Eu. Which of these Orders did you make choice of Pa. I try'd 'em all Eu. And did none of 'em please you Pa. I lik'd them all well enough if I might but presently have enter'd upon Practice and Commerce But when I found that I was to be slav'd a long time to my Offices in the Quire before I could be qualified for the trust I began then to cast about how I might get to be made an Abbot But said I to my self Kissing goes by favour and 't will be a tedious Work and so I quitted that thought too After some Eight Years trifled away in shifting from one thing to another thus comes the News of my Fathers Death So home I went took my Mothers advice Marry'd a Wife and so to my first course of Traffique again Gl. Well! And how did you behave your self in your several shapes for every New Habit made you look like a New Creature Pa. Why 't was all no more to me then the same Players Acting sâ—veral parts in the same Comedy Eu. But be so Honest now as to tell me only which is the condition in this Variety of Adventures that is most to your liking Pa. So many Men so many minds But to be free with you that of a Merchant is most agreeable to my inclination Eu. But yet there are great Hazzards and Inconveniencies that attend it Pa. There are so and 't is the same Case in any other State of Life But since this is my Lot I 'll make the best on 't Eusebius his turn is yet to come and I hope he will not think much of obliging his Friends in requital with some part of his History Eu. Nay if you please the whole Course of it is at your service Gl. We shall most gladly hear it EVSEBIVS When I left Paris It took me a Years time at Home to consider what course of Life to settle in And not without a strict Examination of my self to what Study or Profession I stood most inclin'd I was offer'd a good handsom Prebendary as they call it And I accepted it Gl. That sort of Life has no great Reputation among the People Eu. But as the World went it was to me very welcome It was no small Providence to have so many advantages fall into a Mans Mouth upon the suddain as if they had been dropt from Heaven as Dignity Handsome Houses well furnish'd a competent Revenue a Worthy and a Learned Society And a Church at hand to serve God in when he pleases Pa. I was Scandaliz'd at the Luxury of the Place the Infamy of their Concubines and the strange Aversion those People had for Letters Eu. 'T is nothing to me what others do but what I do my self And if I cannot mend the Bad I chuse the best Company however that I can get Po. And is this the condition that you have spent your whole time in Eu. All but some Four Years a long while ago at Padua Po. And what did you there Eu. I Studied Physick a Year and half and Divinity the rest Po. Why so Eu. For the sake both of my Soul and Body and that in both Cases I might be helpful to my Friends I Preach't upon occasion too according to my Talent Under these circumstances I have led a Life easie and quiet enough So well satisfied with one Benefice that I did not so much as wish for any thing beyond it and if another were offer'd me I should refuse it Pa. I wonder what 's become of the rest of our Old Acquaintance Fellow Pensioners Eu. I could say somewhat of Them too but we are just at the Towns End here And if you please we may be together in the same Inn and talk o're the rest at leisure Hugh a Wagoner How now Blinks Where did you take up this Rubbish Harry a Wagoner And whither are you going with that Harlottry there Hugh You would do well to tumble the Old Fornicators into a Nettle-Bush to bring 'em to an Itch again Harry And your Cattle want Cooling Hugh What do ye think of a Fair Toss into that Pool there to lay their Concupiscence Hugh I 'm not us'd to those Gamboles Harry But 't is not so long Sirrah since I saw you throw half a Dozen Carthusians in the Dirt tho' And you like a Schellam stood Grinning and making sport at it when you had done to see them Rise Black Carthusians instead of White Ones Hugh And they were well enough serv'd too For they lay Snorting all the way like a Dead weight upon the Wagon Harry Well and my People have been so good Company that my Horses went the better for their Carriage I would never desire a better Fare Hugh And yet these are a sort of Men that you do not Naturally care for Harry They are the best Old Men that ever I met withal Hugh How do you know that Harry Because they made me Drink Lustily upon the way Hugh An Excellent Recommendation to a Dutch Fore-Man FINIS * The Story goes that Charles the Great being in a Fit of Desparatâ—on St. Giles obtained from an Angel a Pardon for him in these Words Aegidii merito Caroli Peccata remitto