business as there was no room more for a thought to stay in So I went away in despair but coming home I chanced to see him at a little distance so I made all the haste I could to overtake him placing my Eyes fixedly upon him because I would not lose him but his pace was so swift and his several turnings in several Lanes and Allyes were so many as it was impossible for me to keep my measure pace or sight for like a Bird he did not only fly out of my reach but out of my view but by a second good fortune I met him just at your Gate and I stopp'd his way until I had told him your Message which was you would speak with him He answered me he could not possibly stay for his businesse called him another way I told him that if he did not come and speak with you or stay until you did come and speak with him his Law-sute which was of great Importance would be lost for you could not do him any further service to your Friends that should help him until he had resolved you of some questions you were to ask him besides that you wanted a Writing that he had He told me that he was very much obliged to you for your favour to him but he could not possibly stay to speak with you for he had some businesse to do for two or three other men and he must of necessity go seek those men out whom the businesse concerned so that I could not perswade him by any means although for his own good to come in or to stay till you went to him Tranquill. Peace Faith he is so busie that he will neither do himself good nor any other man for he runs himself out of the Field of Business being over-busy neither holding the Reins of Time nor sitting steady in the Seat of Judgment nor stopping with the Bit of Discretion nor taking the Advantages of Opportunity but totters with Inconstancy and falls with Losse Thus his busy thoughts do tire his Mind so that his life hath a sorry sore and weary Journey Servant I think he is a man that is full of Projects Tranquill. Peace So full as his head is stuff'd with them and he begins many designs but never finisheth any one of them for his designs are built upon vain hopes without a Foundation But were his hopes solid with probability yet his inconstancy and unsteady doubts and over-cautious care would pull down or ruine his designs before they were half built Exeunt Scene 9. Enter Bon' Esprit Portrait Ambition Superbe Pleasure Faction Grave Temperance Mother Matron Enter Monsieur Sensuality POrtrait Monsieur Sensuality let us examine you What company have you met vvithall that hath caused you to break your Word vvith us when you had promised you would come and carry us to a Play Pleasure If he carry us all he will carry a very heavy load Matron Ladies should be heavy and not light Portrait But Monsieur Sensuality pray tell us where you have been and with whom Sensuality Why I have been with as proper a Lady as any is in this City Ambition What do you mean by a proper Lady Bon' Esprit He means a prop'd Lady Sensuality I mean a Tall Proportionable Lady which is a comely sight Faction Not to my Eyes for I never see a tall big woman but I think she rather proceeds from the race of Titan than Iove for she seems to be more Body than Soul more Earth than Flame Sensuality For my part I think there cannot be too much of a fair Lady and if I were to choose I would choose her that had more body than soul for her soul would be uselesse to me by reason souls cannot be enjoy'd as bodies are Ambition Yes in a spiritual conversation they may Sensuality I hate an incorporeal Conversation Superbe Why then you hate the Conversation of the Gods Sensuality I love the Conversation and Society of fair young Ladies such as you are Portrait That is not the Answer to my question Sensuality Then let me tell you Ladies that most of our Sex do venture Heaven for your sakes and will sooner disobey the Gods than you Bon' Esprit So you make as if Women commanded Men against the Gods Sensuality No Lady but we serve Women when we should serve the Gods and pray to your Sex when the Gods would have us pray to them Pleasure The more wicked creatures are men Sensuality No the more tempting creatures are women Faction So you will make us Devils at last for the original of temptation came from Pluto Sensuality Temptation Lady was bred in Nature born from Nature and inhabites with all your Sex as with Natures self whom I have heard is a most beautiful Lady and that is the reason I suppose she hath favoured women more than men being her self of the Effeminate Sex And the truth is Nature hath been cruel to our Sex for she hath not only made you so beautiful as to be admired and desired but so cruel as to despise reject and scorn us taking pleasure in our torments Portrait If all Women were of my mind we would torment you more than we do Faction We have tormented him enough with talking therefore let us leave him Sensuality Nay Ladies I will wait upon you Exeunt ACT II. Scene 10. Enter Monsieur Satyrical and Monsieur Frisk FRisk Monsieur Satyrical I can tell you sad News Satyrical Let sadnesse sit upon the grave of Death for I defie it Frisk But that man is in danger that stands as a Centre in a Circumference from whence all the malignant passions shoot at him as Suspition Spight Envy Hatred Malice and Revenge and the more dangerous by reason their Arrows are poysoned with Effeminate Rage Satyrical Let them shoot for I am arm'd with Carelesnesse and have a Spell of Confidence which will keep me safe But who are they that are mine Enemies Frisk No less than a dozen Ladies Satyrical If I can attain to fight with them apart hand to hand I make no question but to come off Conquerour and if they assault me altogether yet I make no doubt but I shall so skirmish amongst them as I shall be on equal terms But what makes the breach of peace betwixt me and the Ladies and such a breach as to proclame Open Wars Frisk The Cause is just if it be true as it is reported Satyrical Why what is reported Frisk It is reported you have divulged some secret favours those Ladies have given you Satyrical It were ungrateful to conceal a favour for favours proceed from generous and noble Souls sweet and kind Natures Frisk But Ladies favours are to be concealed and lock'd up in the Closet of secrecie being given with privacy and promise not to divulge them and it seems by report you have broke your promise for which they swear to be revenged Satyrical Faith all Women especially Ladies their natural humour is like the Sea which
true begotten Children of self-love This love hath no other object but perfection it hath an absolute command over life it conquers death and triumphs over torments but every soul hath not this pure love for there is a seeming self-love and a reall self-love but as I said every soul hath it not for it is with souls and the passions therein as with bodyes and the sensuall life some are more healthfull and strong others infirm and weak some are fair and well favoured others foul and ill favoured some are straight well shapt others crooked and deformed some high some low some are of long life others of short life some lifes have more actions than others some more sensitive relishes than others some good Natures some bad and all of that sort of Animals we call mankind and as the body and sensitive Spirits so for the Soul and rationall Spirits for some hath as I may say more Soul than others as some hath larger Souls than others some purer than others as being more Serene some hath more ingenuity and understanding than others So passions although one and the same sorts of passions yet in some Souls they are more Serene and elevated than others but many times the pure passions of the Soul is so allyed with the gross humours of the body as they become base and of no good use but in the passion of pure love for the most part dwels naturally Melancholly I mean not that dry cold sharp humour bred in the body which makes it Insipid inclosing the Soul as it were within Walls of stone which causeth a dull heavy and stupid disposition as it oppresseth and lyes like a heavy burthen on the Soul hindering the active effects thereof but this naturall Melancholly dwells not in every Soul but onely in the noblest for it is the noblest effect of the noblest passion in the noblest Soul As for the passion of hate it is not that lothing or aversion which is caused by a full or sick Stomack or surfetted Senses or glutted Appetites or cross humours or an Antipathy of dispositions or evill fortunes or the like but the true passion of hate is in the Soul not bred in the body yet hate is a bastard passion of self-love begot by opposition bred from corruption and born with disturbance this hate as it is derived from the bowels and loynes of self-love so it pursues self-loves enemyes which is suspect falshood and neglect With this passion of hate anger is a great Companion these two passions being seldome assunder but anger is oftentimes mistaken as all the rest of the passions are but this passion of anger is one of the uselest passions of the Soul and is so far from assisting fortitude as many think it doth as it is an opposite enemy to it for it cannot suffer patiently and oftimes knows not what it Acts or on what it Acts or when it Acts this passion is one of the furyes of the Soul which oftimes deposes reason but a Chollerick disposition is sooner to be pardoned and less to be feard being bred in the body and as the humour ebbes and flowes this disposition is less or more But to return to the two Principle passions which is love and hate I will at this time similize them to two several Kingdoms or Regions love being the largest for it reaches to the shades of death and strongest for it can indure and hold out the assaults of any torment being intrenched with fidelity fortified with constancy imbatled with courage victualled with patience and armed or manned with resolution and were it not for the many labyrinths of feats running in and out with continuall doubts wherein the content of the mind is oftentimes lost otherwayes it would be as pleasant a Kingdome as it is a strong one having large prospects of honour and Land-Skips of perfection green Meddows of hopes wherein grows sweet Primroses of Joy and clear springs of desires runs in swift streams of industry by the banks of difficulty besides this Kingdome is allwayes serene for the Sun of Fervency of allwayes shines there In this large Kingdome of love reigns naturall Melancolly who is the Heroick Royallest soberest and wisest Prince born in the mind he directs his Actions with prudence defends his Kindome with courage indures misfortunes with patience moderates his desires with temperance guides his Senses with judgment orders his Speech with Sence and governs his thoughts with reason he is the commander of the Appetites living in the Court of imaginations in the City of silences in the Kingdome of love in the little world called Man and the greatest favorite to this Prince is wit and the Muses are his Mistrisses to whom he applies his Courtship recreating himself in their delightful Company entertaining himself with Balls Maskes Pastorills Comedyes Tragedyes and the like presenting them in the Bowers of fancy built in the Gardens of Oratory wherein growes flowers of Rhetorick but the greatest enemies to this Prince is unseasonable mirth which oftimes disturbes his peace by bringing in an Army of empty words sounding their loud Trumpets of laughter shooting of bald jests beating the drums of idleness with the sticks of ridiculous Actions But hate although it be a Kingdome that is very strong by reason it hath high mountainous designes hard Rocks of cruelties deep pits of obscurity many Quagmires of subtilty by which advantages this Kingdome is inpregnable yet the Kingdome of its self is barren and Insipid bearing nothing but thorny Bushes of mischief and moss of ill Nature no noble thoughts or worthy Actions the climate is various for the Aire of the mind is gross having thick mists of envy which causeth several sicknesses of discontent other whiles it is very cold and sharp with spight other times it is sulphury hot with malice which flashes lightning of revenge which in a thundery fury breaks out In this Kingdome of hate reigns anger who is a Tyrant and strikes at every smale offence and many times on Innocence and so unjust as he seldome takes witnesses pride and jealousy are his favourites which governs all with scorn and executes with fury he imposes taxes of slander and gathers levies of detraction exception is his secretary to note both wordes and Actions he accuseth the Senses with mistakes and beheads the Appetites on the Scaffolds of dislike he strangles truth with the Cords of Erronious opinions and tortures the thoughts one Wheels of foul suspition whipping imagination with disgrace he confounds the Speech with disordered hast that neither Sence nor wordes can take their right places but anger dyes as most Tyrants doth being kild by repentance and is buryed in salt teares betwixt these two Kingdoms of love and hate runs a salt Sea of sorrow which sometimes breaks into the Kingdome of love and sometimes into the Kingdome of hate from this Sea arises thick vapours of grief which gathers into dark Clouds of sadness which Clouds dissolves into showring
desire to be your Shepheard and you my fair Shepheardess attending loving thoughts that feed on kisses sweet folded in amorous arms Poor Virtue My mind never harbors wanton thoughts nor sends immodest glances forth nor will infold unlawful love for chastity sticks as fast unto my Soul as light unto the Sun or heat unto the fire or motion unto life or absence unto death or time unto eternity and I glory more in being chast than Hellen of her beauty or Athens of their learning and eloquence or the Lacedemonions of their Lawes or the Persians of their Riches or Greece of their Fables or the Romans of their Conquests and Chastity is more delightfull to my mind than Fancy is to Poets or Musick to the Ears or Beauty to the Eyes and I am as constant to Chastity as truth to Unity and Death to life for I am as free and pure from all unchastity as Angels are of sin Poor Virtue goes out Lord Title alone Lord Title I wonder not so much at Fortunes gifts as Natures curiosities not so much at Riches Tittle and power as Beauty VVit and Virtue joyn'd in one besides she doth amaze me by expressing so much learning as if she had been taught in some famous Schools and had read many histories and yet a Cottager and a young Cottager t is strange Ex. Scene 15. Enter the Lord Courtship and Mr. Adviser ADviser My Lord doth my Counsel take good effect Lord Courtship Yes faith for she seems to take it very patiently or elce she is so dull a Creature as she is not sensible of any injury that 's done her Adviser How doth she look when you adress and salute your Mistriss Lord Courtship She seems to regard us not but is as if she were in a deep contemplation of another world Adviser I think she is one of the fewest words for I never heard her speak Lord Courtship Faith so few as I am in good hope she is tongue-tyed or will grow dumb Adviser That would be such a happiness as all married men would envy you for Lord Courtship They will have cause for there is nothing so tedious as talking women they speak so constraintly and utter their Nonsence with such formality and ask impertinent questions so gravely or else their discourse is snip snap or so loud and shrill as deafs a mans ears so as a man would never keep them Company if it were not for other reasons Adviser Your Lordship speaks as if you were a woman-hater Lord Courtship O Pardon me for there is no man loves the Sex better than I yet I had rather discourse with their beauty than their wits besides I only speak of generalities not particularities Ex. Scene 16. Enter the Lady Contemplation and Sir Humphrey Interruption INterruption Lady pray make me partaker of some of your conceptions Contempl. My conceptions are like the tongue of an extemporary Oratour that after he hath spoke if he were to speak upon the same subject he could hardly do it if it were not impossible just to speak as he did as to express the same subjects in the same expressions and way of his natural Rhetorick for the sense may be the same but the expressions way of Rhetorick wil hardly be the same but 't is likely will be very different and so differing as not to be like the same but the same premeditated Rhetorick will many times serve to many several designs or preaching pleading or speaking the Theam or cause being altered This is the difference betwixt extemporary Oratory and premeditated Oratory the one may be spoke as many times as an Orator will and make the same Oratory serve to many several Subjects the other being not fixt but voluntary vanishes out of the remembrance the same many times do my conceptions Interrup. But I hope all are not vanished some remain wherefore pray expresse or present any one of your conceptions after what manner of way you please Contempl. Why then I will tell you I had a conception of a Monster as a Creature that had a rational soul yet was a Fool It had had a beautiful and perfect shape yet was deformed and ill-favoured It had clear distinguishing senses and yet was sencelesse It was produced from the Gods but had the nature of a Devil It had an eternal life yet dyed as a Beast It had a body and no body Interrup. What Monster call you this Contempl. I call him Man Interrup. This is a Man of your own conception Contemp. A man of Natures creating is as monstrous for though man hath a rational soul yet most men are fools making no use of their reason and though Man hath a beautiful and perfect shape yet for the most part they make themselves deformed and ill-favoured with antick postures violent passions or brutish vices and man hath clear distinguishing Senses yet in his sleep or with fumes or drink he is sencelesse Man was produced immediately from the Gods yet man being wicked and prone to evil hath by evil wickednesse the nature of a Devil Man 't is said shall live for ever as having an eternal life yet betwixt this life and the other he dyes like a Beast and turns to dust as other Creatures do but the only difference between the man Nature creates and the man my Conceptions create is that Natures man hath a real substance as a real body whereas my conceptive man is only an Idea which is an incorporal man so as the body of my concepted man is as the soul of Natures created man an incorporality Ex. Scene 17. Enter the Lord Title and Mall Mean-bred LOrd Title Well I have lost my first Course in Love and now like an angry bloody Gray-hound I will down with the first I meet were she as innocent as a Dove or as wise as a Serpent down she goes Enter Mall Mean-bred But soft here 's Loves game and I le flye at her Fair One for so you are Mall Mean-bred Truly Sir I am but a Blouse Lord Title Think better of your self and believe me Mall Mean My Father hath told me I must not believe a Gentleman in such matters Lord Title Why sweetest I am a Lord Mall Mean A Lord Lord blesse your Worship then but my Father gave me warning of a Lord he said they might nay say and swear too and do any thing for they were Peers of the Realm there was no medling with them he said without a Rebellion blesse me from a Lord for it is a naughty thing as they say I know not Lo. Title Do you value me so little when I can make you an Apocryphal Lady Mall Mean The Apocrypha forsooth is out of my Book I have been bred purer than to meddle with the Apocrypha the Gods blesse us from it and from all such ill things Lo. Title Well in short will you love me Mall Mean I am so ashamed to love a Lord forsooth that I know not how to behave my self Lo. Title
I will teach you Mall Mean If your Honour will take the pains to teach a poor ignorant Country Maid I will do the best I can to learn forsooth but will it not be too much pains for your Honour do you think Lo. Title No no it will be both for my Honour and my pleasure and for the pleasure of my Honour Mall Mean-bred Blesse us how the Lords doe It backward and forward at their pleasure the finest that ever was but what would your Honour have of me Lo. Title By this kiss I le tell you He goes to kiss her she seems nice and coy Mall Mean O fie fie good your Honour do not scandalize your lips to kisse mine and make me so proud as never to kisse our Shepherd again He offers Mall Mean No fie Lo. Title I will and must kisse you He strives Mall Mean-bred Nay good your Honour good your Honour He kisses her What are you the better now But I see there is no denying a Lord forsooth it is not civil and they are so peremptory too the Gods blesse them and make them their Servants Lo. Title This kisse hath so inflamed me therefore for Loves sake meet me in the Evening in the Broom close here Mall Mean I know the Close forsooth I have been there before now Lo. Title Well and when we meet I will discover more than yet I have done Mall Mean So you had need forsooth for nothing is discovered yet either on your side or mine but I will keep my promise Lo. Title There spoke my better Angel so adiew Mall Mean An Angel I will not break my word for two angels and I hope there will be no dew neither God shield you forsooth Ex. Here ends my Lord Marquesse Scene 18. Enter Sir Effeminate Lovely following Poor Virtue Sir Effeminate Lovely Fair Maid stay and look upon my person Poor Virtue Why so I do Effem. Love And how do you like it Poor Vir. As I like a curious built house wherein lives a vain and self-conceited owner Effem. Love And are not you in love with it Poor Vir. No truly no more than with a pencilled Picture Effem. Love Why I am not painted Poor Vir. You are by Nature though not by Art Effem. Love And do you despise the best and curiousest Works of Nature Poor Vir. No I admire them Effem. Love If you admire them you will admire me and if you admire me you will yield to my desires Poor Vir. There may be admiration without love but to yield to your desires were to abuse Natures VVorks Effem. Love No It were to enjoy them Poor Vir. Nature hath made Reason in man as well as Sence and we ought not to abuse the one to please the other otherwise man would be like Beasts following their sensualities which Nature never made man to be for she created Virtues in the Soul to govern the Senses and Appetites of the Body as Prudence Justice Temperance and Conscience Effem. Love Conscience VVhat is that natural fear Poor Vir. No it is the tenderest part of the Soul bathed in a holy dew from whence repentant tears do flow Effem. Love I find no such tender Constitution nor moist Complexion in my Soul Poor Vir. That is by reason the Fire of unlawful Love hath drunk all up seared the Conscience dry Effem. Love You may call it what Fire you will but I am certain it is your Beauty that kindles it and your Wit that makes it flame burning with hot desires Poor Vir. Pray Heaven my Virtue may quench it out again Poor Virtue goes out Lovely alone Effem. Love I am sure Nature requires a self-satisfaction as well as a self-preservation and cannot nor will not be quiet without it esteeming it beyond life Ex. Scene 19. Enter the Lady Ward and Nurse Careful Lady Ward I wonder my Lord Courtship he being counted a wise man should make me his Baud if he intends to make me his Wife and by my troth Nurse I am too young for that grave Office Nurse Careful How ignorantly you speak Child it is a sign you have been bred obscurely and know little of the world or rather it proves your Mother dyed before you could speak or go otherwise you would be better experienced in these businesses Lady Ward My Mother Nurse Heaven rest her soul she would never have made me a Baud Nurse Careful No why then she would not do as most Mothers do now a dayes for in this age Mothers bring up their daughters to carry Letters and to receive messages or at lest to watch at the door left their Fathers should come unawares and when they come to make some excuse and then the Mother laughs and sayes her daughter is a notable witty Girle La. Ward What for telling a lye Nurse Careful Yes when it is told so as to appeare like a truth Lady Ward But it is a double fault as to deceive the Father and be a Baud to the Mother Nurse Careful Why the Mother will execute the same Office for the daughter when she is marryed and her self grown into years for from the age of seven or eight years old to the time they are maryed the Daughter is a Baud to the Mother and from the time of their marriage to the time of their Mothers death the Mother is a Baud to the Daughter but if the Mother be indifferently young and hath a young tooth in her head as the old saying is they Baud for each other Lady Ward But why doth not the Mother Baud for her Daughter before she is marryed Nurse Care O there is reason for that for that may spoil her fortune by hindering her marriage for marriage is a Veile to cover the wanton face of adultery the like Veil is Baud-mothers and Baud-daughters for who would suspect any lewdnesse when the Mother and the Daughter is together La. Ward And are not Sons Pimps for their Fathers as Daughters are for their Mothers Nurse Careful No saith Boys have facility or ingenuity as Girles have besides they are kept most commonly so strictly to their Bookes when Girles have nothing else to do but when they have cast away their Books and come to be marryed men then they may chance to Pimp for their Wives Lady Ward O fie Nurse surely a man will never play the Pimp to Cuckold himself Nurse Care O yes if they be poor or covetous or ambitious and then if they have a handsome woman to their wife they will set her as a bait to catch their designs in the trap of Adultery or patient quiet simple fearful men will if they have a Spritely wise they will play the Pimp either for fear or quiet for such men to such wives will do any thing to please them although it be to Cuckold themselves La. Ward But surely Nurse no Gentleman will do so Nurse Gare. I know not who you call Gentleman but those that bear up high and look big and vant loud and walk
that you are in love with why to cure your disease I will deform it or do you think I have wit to cure that Imagination I will put my tongue to silence I am sure it cannot be my Vertue that inflames you to an intemperance for Vertue is an Antidote against it But had you all the beauty in Nature squeez'd into your form and all the wit in Nature prest into your brain and all the prosperities of good fortune at your command and all the power of Fate and Destiny at your disposal you could not perswade me to yield to your unlawful desires for know I am honest without self-ends my virtue like to Time still running forward my chastity fix'd as Eternity without circumferent lines besides it is built on the foundation of Morality and roof'd and ciel'd with the faith of Religion and the materials thereof are Honour which no subtil Arguments can shake the one nor no false Doctrine can corrupt or rot the other neither is the building subject to the fire of unlawful love nor the tempestuous storms of torments nor the deluge of poverty nor the earthquakes of fear nor the ruines of death for so long as my Soul hath a being my Chastity will live But were you as poor as I even to move pity or so lowly and meanly born at might bring contempt and scorn from the proud yet if your mind and soul were endued with noble qualities and heroical vertues I should sooner embrace your love than to be Mistris of the whole World for my affection to merit hath been ingrafted into the root of my Infancy which hath grown up with my yeares so that the longer I live the more it increases Lord Title You cannot think I would marry you although I would lie with you Poor Virtue I cannot but think it more possible that you should marry me than I to be dishonest Lord Title Thou art a mean poor wench and I nobly descended Poor Virtue What though I am poor yet I am honest and poverty is no crime nor have my Ancestors left marks of infamy to shame me to the world Lord Title Thy Ancestors what were they but poor peasants wherefore thou wilt dignifie thy Race by yielding to my love Poor Virtue Heaven keep them from that dignity that must be gained by my dishonesty no my chastity shall raise a Monumental Tomb over their cold dead ashes Poor Virtue goes out Lord Title alone Lord Title What pity it is Nature should put so noble a soul into a meanborn body Exit Scene 4. Enter the Lord Courtship and the Lady VVard LOrd Courts Pray go visit the Lady Amorous and if her husband be absent deliver her this letter Lady Ward Excuse me my Lord Lord Courts Wherefore Lady Ward I am no Carrier of Love-letters Lord Courts But you shall carry this Lady Ward But I will not Lord Courts Will you not Lady Ward No I will rather endure all the torments that can be invented Lord Courts And you shall for I will torture you if you do not for I will have you drawn up high by the two thumbs which is a pain will force you to submit The Lady Ward falls into a passion Lady Ward Do so if you will nay scrue me up into the middle-Region there will I take a Thunderbolt and strike you dead and with such strength I 'll fling it on you as it shall press your soul down to the everlasting shades of death Lord Courts Sure you will be more merciful Lady Ward No more than Devils are to sinful souls there will I be your Bawd to procure you variety of torments for I had rather be one in Pluto's black Court caused by my own revenge than to be a Bawd on earth which is a humane Devil Lord Courts You are mad Lady Ward Might every word I speak prove like a mad dogs bite not only to transform your shape and turn your speech to barks and howlings but that your soul may be no other than the souls of beasts are Lord Courts You are transformed from a silent young Maid to a raging Fury Lady Ward May all the Furies that Hell inhabites and those that live on earth torment your minde as racks do torture bodies and may the venom of all malice spleen and spight be squeez'd into your soul and poyson all content your thoughts flame like burning oyl and never quench but be eternally a fiery Animal and may the fire feed onely on your self and as it burns your torments may increase The Lady Ward goes out Lord Courtship alone Lord Courts She is mad very mad and I have only been the cause Exit Scene 5. Enter the Lord Title and Poor Virtue LOrd Title Fairest will not you speak Poor Virtue My words have betrayed my heart as discovering the secrets therein wherefore I will banish them and shut the doors of my lips against them Lord Title What for saying you love me Sweet why do you weep Poor Virtue weeps Poor Virtue Tears are the best Cordials for a heart opprest with grief Lord Title I should hate my self if I could think I were the cause But pray forbear to weep Poor Virtue Pray give my grief a liberty my tears are no disturbance they showre down without a ratling noise and silent fall without a murmuring voice but you disturb me Wherefore for pity-sake leave me and I will pray you may enjoy as much prosperity as good fortune can present you with and as much health as Nature can give you and as much tranquillity as Heaven can infuse into a mortal creature Lord Title Neither Fortune Nature nor Heaven can please me or make me happy in this world without you Poor Virtue O you torment me Exit the Lord follows her Scene 6. Enter Sir Humphry Interruption to the Lady Contemplation SIr Humphry Inter. Surely Lady Contemplation your thoughts must needs be very excellent that they take no delight but with themselves Lady Contempl. My thoughts although they are not material as being profitable yet they are innocent as being harmless Sir Humphry Inter. Yet your thoughts do the world an injury in burying your words in the grave of silence Lady Contempl. Let me inform you that sometimes they creep out of their graves as Ghosts do and as Ghosts walk in solitary places so I speak to my solitary self which words offend no ears because I speak to no ears but my own and as they have no flatterers to applaud them so they have no censurers to condemn them Sir Humphrey Inter. But you bury your life whilst you live retir'd from company Lady Contempl. O no for otherwise my life would be buried in company for my life never enjoys it self but when it is alone and for the most part all publick societies are like a discord in Musick every one playing several contrary parts in their actions speaking in several contrary notes striking on several contrary subjects which makes a confusion and a confused noise is
give away what they have Portrait Talk not of womens souls for men say we have no souls only beautiful bodies Bon' Esprit But beautiful bodies are a degree of souls and in my Conscience please men better than our souls could do Superbe If anything prove we have no souls it is in letting men make such fools of us Matron Come come Ladies by Womens Actions they prove to have more or at least better souls than Men have for the best parts of the Soul are Love and Generosity and Women have more of either than Men have Grave Temperance The truth is that although Reason and Understanding are the largest parts of the Soul yet Love and Generosity are the delicatest parts of the Soul Enter Monsieur Heroick Heroick Goodmorrow young Ladies you appear this morning like sweet-smelling flowers some as Roses others as Lillies others as Violets Pinks and Primroses and your associating in a company together is like as a Posie which Love hath bound up into one Bucket which is a fit Present for the Gods Bon' Esprit If you would have us presented to the Gods we must die for we are never preferred to them but by Death wherefore we must be given to Death before the Gods can have us they may hear us whilest we live and we may hear of them but partake of neither until we die Heroick O that were pity Ladies for there is nothing more sad in Nature than when Death parts a witty Soul from a young beautiful Body before the one hath built Monuments of Memory and the other gained Trophies of Lovers And as for the Gods you will be as acceptable to them when you are old as when you are young Ambition As nothing could make me so sad as untimely death of Youth Wit and Beauty so there is nothing could anger me more as for Fortune to frown upon Merit or not to advance it according to its worth or to bury it in Oblivion hindring the passage into Fames Palace Temperance For my part I believe Death will neither call nor come for you before his natural time if you do not send Surfet and Excess to call him to take you away Pleasure Indeed Mankind seem as if they were Deaths Factors for they do strive to ingross and destroy all other creatures or at least as many as they can and not only other creatures but their own kinde as in Wars and not only their own kinde but themselves in idle and unprofitable Adventures and gluttonous Excess thus as I said they are Deaths Factors buying sickness with health hoping to gain pleasure and to make delight their profit but they are cozen'd for they only get Diseases Pains and Aches Matron Pray Ladies mark how far you are gone from the Text of your discourse as from sweet-smelling flowers to stinking carrion which are dead carkasses from a lively good-morrow to a dead farewel from mirth to sadness Portrait You say right Mother Matron wherefore pray leave off this discourse for I hate to hear off death for the thoughts of death affright me so as I can take no pleasure of life when he is in my mind Heroick Why Ladies the thought of death is more than death himself for thoughts are sensible or imaginable things but Death himself is neither sensible nor imaginable Portrait Therefore I would not think of him and when I am dead I am past thinking Superbe Let us discourse of something that is more pleasing than Death Heroick Then by my consent Ladies your discourse shall be of Venus and Cupid which are Themes more delightful to your Sex and most contrary to death for Love is hot and Death is cold Love illuminates life and Death quenches life out Bon Esprit Let me tell you Sir Love is as apt to burn life out as Death is to quench it out and I had rather die with cold than be burnt with heat for cold kills with a dead numness when heat kills with a raging madnesse Pleasure But Lovers are tormented with fears and doubts which cause cold sweats fainting of spirits trembling of limbs it breaks the sweet repose of sleep disturbs the quiet peace of the mind vades the colours of beauty nips or blasts the blossome of youth making Lovers look withered before Time hath made them old Heroick It is a signe Lady you have been in love you give so right a Character of a Lover Pleasure No there requires not a self-experience to find out a Lovers trouble for the outward Actions will declare their inward grief and passion Superbe Certainly she is in love but conceals it she keeps it as a Secret Pleasure Love cannot be secret the passion divulges it self Portrait Confess Are you not in love Faction Nay she will never confess a Secret unless you tell her one for those that tell no secrets shall hear none Portrait O yes for a Secret is like a child in the womb for though it be concealed for a time it will come out at last only some comes out easier than others and some before their time Ambition Nay whensoever a secret comes out it 's untimely Faction Secrets are like Coy Ducks when one is flown out it draws out others and returns with many Pleasure Then like a Coy Duck I will try if I can draw all you after me Exit Pleasure Bon' Esprit She shall see she is like a Duck which is like a Goose and we like her for we will follow her Exeunt Scene 8. Enter Monsiuer Tranquillities Peace and his Man TRanquill Peace Have you been at Monsieur Busie's house to tell him I desire to speak with him Servant Yes I have been at his house Tranquill. Peace And will he come Servant Faith Sir the house is too unwieldy to stir and Monsieur Busie is too Active to stay at home but the truth is I went at four a clock this morning because I would be sure to find him and his servants and their Master was flown out of his nest an hour before Then I told his servants I would come about dinner-time and they laugh'd and ask'd me what time was that I said I supposed at the usual time about Noon or an hour before or after but they said their Master never kept any certain time of eating being full of business Then I asked them what time that would be when he would come home to bed They answered that his time of Resting was as uncertain as his time of Eating Then I pray'd them to tell me at what time they thought I might find him at home They said it was impossible for them to guess for that their Master did move from place to place as swift as thoughts move in the Mind Then I pray'd them that they would tell him when he came home that you would desire to speak with him They told me they would but they did verily believe he would forget to come to you by reason his head was so full of busie thoughts or thoughts of
Enter Madam Superbe and an Antient Woman VVOman Madam I am an humble Suter to your Ladyship Superbe What is your sute Woman That you will be pleased to take a young Maiden into your service of my preferring Superbe In what place Woman To wait and attend on your person Superbe Let me tell you that those servants that attend on my person do usually accompany me in all my Pastimes Exercises and sometimes in Conversation Wherefore they must be such as are well born well bred well behav'd modest and of sweet dispositions virtuous and of strict life otherwise they are not for me and if I find them not so I shall soon turn them away Woman Why Madam even Diana her self as severe and strict as she was had some wanton Nymphs that would commit errours although they seemed all sober and modest and profess'd chastity yet they would slip out of the way and her presence sometimes Superbe But she never failed to turn them out of her service and some she cruelly punished so that what her severity could not prevent yet her severity did punish for Diana's practice was not to watch her wanton Nymphs nor to hunt out their evil haunts or lurking-places to see their evil actions but her practice was to hunt the more modest and temperate creatures which were the beasts of the Fields and Forests So like as Diana I shall not watch my Maids nor pardon their rude or dishonourable actions Woman Pray Madam try this Maid for she is very honourably born and well bred but poor Superbe I shall not refuse her for poverty But as I will have some bound for the truth and trust of my vulgar servants so I will have some bound for the behaviour virtue and modesty of my honourable servants or else I will not take them Exeunt ACT III Scene 18. Enter Mother Matron and meets Monsieur Frisk MAtron Monsieur Frisk you are well met for I was even now sending a Footman for you Frisk For what good Mother Matron Matron Marry to come to a company of young Ladies who do half long for you Frisk They shall not lose their longing if I can help them Matron Now by my Troth and that is spoke like a Gentleman but let me tell you there is a great many of them Frisk Why then there is the more choice Matron But there is no choosing amongst Ladies you must take better for worse Frisk There is no worst amongst Ladies they are all fair and good Matron Yfaith I perceive now why the Ladies desire your company so much as they do Frisk Why my dear Mother Matron Matron Because you speak well of them behind their backs and promise them much to their faces and I will assure you they have as promising faces as you can promise them but great Promisers are not good Frisk Will you say the Ladies faces are not good Matron I say mens promises are not good But you are very quick with me Monsieur Frisk to take me upon the hip so suddenly but beshrew me your sudden frisking Answer hath put me into a Passion which hath perturbed the sense of my Discourse Lord Lord what power a villanous word hath over the passions Frisk If you please Mother Matron a kiss shall ask pardon for your villanous word Matron And now by my troth I have not been kiss'd by a young Gentleman above this twenty years but now I am in haste and cannot stay to receive your gift wherefore I will refer it until another time Frisk But I may forget to give it Matron Never fear that for I shall remember you of it when time shall serve But come away for the Ladies will be horrible angry I have stayd so long for they were all going to dance for the Fiddles were tuned Tables and Stools removed room made and they in a dancing posture only they stay for you to Frisk them about Exeunt Scene 19. Enter Madam Superbe and Flattery her Maid FLattery Madam you behav'd your self more familiar to day than your Ladyship was wont to do Superbe 'T is true because those I convers'd with to day were but inferiour persons and I speak more familiar to such persons as are below my quality than those that are equal to me to do them grace and favour and if they take it not so I can onely say my Civility was ignorantly placed on foolish and ignorant persons Exeunt Scene 20. Enter Bon' Esprit Portrait Faction Ambition POrtrait Some say Poems are not good unlesse they be gloriously Attired Faction What do they mean by glorious Attire Ambition Rhetorick Bon' Esprit Why gay words are not Wit no more than a fair Face is a good Soul and it is Wit which makes Poems good not words Ambition Indeed Rhetorick is no part of the Body of Wit no more than of the Soul only it is the outward garment which is Taylors work Bon' Esprit Then it seems as if the Grammarians Logicians and Rhetoricians are the Taylors for Oratory who cut shapes sit places seam and few words together to make several Eloquent Garments or Garments of Eloquence as Orations Declarations Expressions and the like worditive work as they please or at least according to the fashion Ambition They are so Portrait Why then those that say Verse is not good unless gloriously Attyr'd do as much as to say a man is a fool that hath not a fine Suit of Cloaths on or that a Curl'd Hair sweetly powder'd is a wise or witty Brain powder'd with Fancies This surely is an unpardonable mistake or rather an incurable madnesse for there is neither Sense nor Reason in it Bon' Esprit It is not so much a madness nor that we call Natural Fools but Amorous Fools or Finical Fools or such as are Opinionated Fools or Self-conceited Fools or High-bound Fools Portrait High-bound Fools What doe you mean by High-bound Fools Bon' Esprit Strong-lin'd Fools Faction Those are Learned Fools Bon' Esprit No they are Conceited Fools for their strength of Wit lies in a Conceit Ambition Those for the most part their Wit is buried in Oblivion Faction If there be any Wit to bury Enter Monsieur Sensuality Sensuality Who is so foolish to bury Wit Faction You in the rubbish of words Portrait The only Grave to Wit is a foolish Ear Sensuality Let me tell you Ladies that Wit is so far from lying in a Grave as it hardly settles any where for it is so Agile and flies so swiftly and yet extends in breadth so far as it spreads the wings of Fancy not only over all the World and every particular thing in the World but one Infinite and Eternal Nature and with the Bill of Conception picks a hole whereby the Eyes of Imagination spy out the dark Dungeons of Pluto and the glorious Mansions of Iove Portrait Then Poems need not the garments of Rhetorick Sensuality No more than a Fair Lady And as for my part I like Poems as I like a Woman best uncloathed for
Satyrical alone SAtyrical I am resolv'd yet being a Criminal how to address my Sute I am in doubt To ask pardon for my faults were to make my faults seem greater than they are to excuse them were to make my judgment seem weaker than I think it is to justifie them were to condemn her Well I will neither ask pardon nor make excuse nor yet justifie them but in plain language declare my pure Affections honest Desires and honourable Requests if she believes the first approves the third and consents to the second I hope to be happy if not I must be content for it is a folly to mourn when it brings no remedy Exit Scene 35. Enter Bon' Esprit Portrait Faction Ambition Superbe Mother Matron FAction The Lady Variety now she is a Widow she tricks and dresses up her self in her Mourning and is more fond of the company of men than we that are Maids Bon' Esprit 'T is a sign she knows by Experience that the Masculine Sex are better and more pleasurable company than any of her own Sex which Maids do not know by reason they are for the most part restrain'd Portrait Why should you find fault with Widows when maried Wives indeavour by all the Arts they can to get the company of men and do strive by inticements to allure them to Courtships as much as Widows or Maids to lawful and honest Mariage Ambition One would think that maried women by their neglect and disrespect to their Husbands they loved not the company of men Superbe They may love the company of men though not the company of one man as their Husbands Matron Come come Ladies Maids are always spiteful to Maried Women because they be preferred in Mariage before them and are jealous of Widows for fear that they should get their Servants and Suters from them Faction I should sooner be jealous of a Widow than spightful to a Maried Wife for most Wives are in a condition to be pity'd rather than envy'd but Widows have such a magnetick power as one Widow will draw away the Servants and Suters from a dozen Maids Bon' Esprit Indeed Widows are very prevalent for a poor widow shall have more Suters and better Choice than a rich Maid and an ill-favour'd Widow than a handsome Maid an old Widow than a young Virgin Ambition I wonder at it Faction Why should you wonder at it since they know the humours weaknesses and strengths of men better than Maids do by which they know how to work and draw them to their bent and design Bon' Esprit No that 's not the Cause Faction What 's the Cause then Bon' Esprit Why men think VVidows wiser than Maids as being more known and experienc'd Portrait Indeed they have more knowledge than Maids or else they have very ill luck Ambition VVhy Maids are more desirous to marry VVidowers than Batchelours Superbe VVhat is the reason of that Bon' Esprit I know not except it be the former reason Faction No no it is because it is said that VVidowers love their second wives better than the first Portrait And what their third wife Faction I suppose Love increaseth with the number Ambition But women 't is said love their first husband better than the second Superbe That 's only an excuse to marry a third and so a fourth Husband Bon' Esprit Indeed Death and Hymen are great friends to VVidows and VVidowers for if once a woman buries her husband or a man his wife they never leave marying and burying until they have had five or six husband and wives Faction If it were always so I would I had been maried and had buried my husband O what a Gossipping life should I have had Gossipping at my husbands Funerals and Gossipping at my Maried Nuptials besides the pleasure of being woo'd Bon' Esprit But you would have more trouble and vexation in the time between your Mariage-day and your Husbands Death than pleasure betwixt your Husbands Death and Mariage-day Faction O no for I suppose if Death be a friend he will take away every Husband as soon as that time is past they call Hony-moneth Enter Monsieur Inquisitive Inquisitive Ladies I will tell you News Portrait What News Inquisitive The young Widow the Lady Variety hath the Small Pox Faction That 's no Newes for all sorts of Diseases are too frequent to be News If they were it would be happy for all animal creatures if diseases were strangers Inquisitive But it is News that she should have them Faction It is in respect of a new face or otherwise not for all mankind in these parts of the World have that disease at one time or other if they live to 't Inquisitive Truly I pity her Ambition I hope she is not in such a condition to be pitied for pity is a kin to scorn as near as Cousin-germans for reproach and shame are brother and sister and scorn is the son of reproach and pity is the daughter of shame But although the Small Pox may set marks of deformity they set none of dishonour they only mark the Body not the Soul and that is only to be accounted shame and to be asham'd of as the infirmities of the Soul for which they may be pitied Inquisitive That deserves scorn Ambition Baseness only deserves scorn and not infirmities loss or misfortunes but there is a difference betwixt infirmities losse misfortunes baseness and wickedness Infirmities proceed directly from Nature Losse from Possession Misfortunes from Interpositions Baseness from that creature called Man and Wickedness from Devils The first is caused by the carelesness of Nature the second by the lack of Power the third by the necessity of Fate the fourth by the corruption of Man the last by the perswasion and temptation of the Devil The first second and third are not to be avoided the fourth not to be practised the fifth not to be followed nor fostered The first is to be pitied the second to be grieved for the third to be lamented for the fourth to be scorned and the fifth to be hated and abhorred Thus we may grieve for the loss of her Beauty but not pity her having no natural defect in the Soul which is the Understanding and the Rational part Inquisitive But Sickness is a natural defect Ambition No Sickness is no more a natural defect than Time or Death Life or Growth for they are only Natural Effects but not Natural Defects Exeunt Scene 36. Enter Madamoiselle Pleasure Wanton Surfet Idle Excess her Maids They all weep ALl speak Pray turn us not out of your Service for one fault Pleasure Why you are the ground wherein all Mischief is sown and whereon all Vice grows besides you are the only Bawds for Adultery Wanton No indeed the chief Bawds to Adultery are publick Meetings of all kinds either Divine Customary Triumphant or Recreative Also Bravery whether Ceremonious Gallantry or Magnificency Likewise Beauty Wit Diligence Observance and rich Presents besides Jealousie and
Covetousness Pleasure No Wanton it is your glancing Eyes simpering Countenance and toyish Tricks Wanton Truly Madam Idle and I are fitter to make Wenches than Bawds 't is your Ladyship that is the Lady of Pleasure which perswades more to Adultery than we poor harmless creatures Pleasure Go get you out of my house for I will not keep such bold rude Wenches as you are Temperance Pray Madam pardon them for this time Exeunt Scene 37. Enter Madamoiselle Ambition Superbe Faction Pleasure Portrait Monsieur Heroick Monsieur Tranquillities Peace Monsieur Frisk Monsieur Censure Monsieur Inquisitive PLeasure How shall we pass our time to day Tranquill. Peace For us men we cannot pass our time better or more pleasanter than in the company of fair young Ladies Ambition To avoid tedious Complements and Discourses to particular cars or the confusion of many Tongues speaking at once let us sit and discourse in Dialogues Heroick Agreed but shall we discourse in Rhime or in Prose Superbe In rhymes by any means for rhymes many times hide and obscure that Nonsence that would be discover'd in Prose Vain-glor. Then it seems Rhime is a Veil to cover the face of Nonsense Superbe They are so for one can never discover an ill Poem until the rhymes be dissolved into Prose which shews whether there be Sense Reason Wit or Fancy in them Ambition But to be turned into Prose the Poems will lose the Elegance of the Style and the Eloquence of the Language Faction Why if a man should lose his Hat and Feather and be stript of a fine and gay Suit of Cloaths he would neither have the less brain nor blood nor soul nor body beauty nor shape and though gay and glorious Apparel may allure the Eyes of a young Lady or a Novice Gentleman or may draw the ignorant vulgar to Admiration and so to an Esteem and Respect yet those that have clear Understandings solid Judgments quick Wits and knowing Wisedoms will be so far from admiring the man for the sake of his gay Cloaths or esteeming him for his glorious Attire as they will be apt to condemn him as a vain man Inquisitive Then you reject the cloathing of Poems in fine Language Faction No but I despise those Poems that have nothing but Language and rhymes Frisk Then it is a folly to write in Verse if Rhymes be not accounted of Pleasure Verse is to be accounted of for the sake of Numbers which is harmonious yet neither Harmonious Numbers nor Chyming Rhymes nor Gay Rhetorick is Reason Wit nor Fancy which is the Ground Body or Soul of a good Poem Censure Yet no Poem is esteem'd but condemn'd that is not in gay and new-fashion'd cloathing Ambition Then Chaucers Poems which are in plain and old-fashion'd garments which is Language is to be despised and his Wit condemned but certainly Chaucers Witty Poems and Lively Descriptions in despight of their Old Language as they have lasted in great Esteem and Admiration these three hundred years so they may do Eternally amongst the Wise in every Age Heroick Gentlemen leave off your Disputes for the Ladies will be too hard for us for they are always Conquerors in peace and war both in the Schools and in the Fields in the City and in the Court Portrait Pray leave off this particular Dispute and let us discourse in general Tranquill. Peace Agreed Superbe Begin Inquisitive Who shall begin Faction I will begin for a womans Tongue hath priviledge and preheminency in the first place The Dialogue-Discourses Faction Old brains are like to barren ground Censure Or like a wilderness forlorn Portrait Or like crack'd bells that have no sound Tranquill. Peace Or like a child Abortive born Ambition For Time the fire of Wit puts out Heroick And fills the brain with vapour cold Superbe And quenches Fancy without doubt Vain-glor. For Wit is feeble when 't is old Portrait Wit neither fails weakens decays nor dies Inquisitive Though bred and born as other creatures are Faction Only the Brain the Womb wherein it lies Censure But when 't is born Fame nurses it with care Frisk And to Eternity doth it prefer Pleasure Wit makes the brain sick when it breeding is Tranquill. And painful throws before and at its birth Ambition But when 't is born if good a Comfort 't is Heroick The Parent Poetry creates with mirth Superbe He joys to see his Issue fairly spring Vain-glor. And hopes with time in numbers may increase Portrait And being multiply'd may honours bring Frisk As a posterity that never cease Faction Wit the Issue and Off-spring of the Soul Censure From which the Nature sublimely is Divine Pleasure Dimensions hath and parts yet in the whole Tranquill. United is of breaches there 's no sign Ambition Wit like the Soul is which no body hath Heroick No latitude yet hath a perfect form Superbe Yet flies all sev'ral ways yet keeps a path Vain-glor. A path of Sense which never turns therefrom Portrait But wondrous strange and monstrous is Wit Inquisitive That all contrarieties in it do dwell Faction For it all Shapes Imployments Humours fit Censure Like Beasts Men Gods or terrible Devils in Hell Temperance O fie O fie this discourse is like dancing the Hay or dancing a Scotch Gig which will put you out of breath strait Faction You would have us discourse in the measure of a Spanish Pavin Temperance No but the measure of a French Galliard would do very well Censure For my part Lady I like Gigs best and therefore if you please begin another Gig. Faction The Spring is drest in buds and blossoms sweet Censure The Summer laughs until her Cheeks look red Pleasure The plenteous Autumn warm under our feet Tranquill. Peace The Winter shaking cold is almost dead All speak Go on with the twelve Moneths Ambition Fierce furious March comes in with bended brows Heroick Commanding storms and tempests to arise Superbe Beating the trees and clouds as if it meant Vain-glory. To make them subject to his tyrannies Portrait Then follows April weeping for her buds Frisk For fear rude March had all her young destroy'd Faction But when she thought her tears might rise to floods Censure With Sun-beams dry'd her Eyes his heat her joy'd Pleasure Then wanton May came full of Amorous Sports Tranquill. Peace Decking her self with gawdy Colours gay Ambition And entertaining Lovers of all sorts Heroick In pleasure she doth pass her time a way Superbe Then enters Iune with fair and full fat face Vain-glor. Her Eyes are bright and clear as the Noon-Sun Portrait And in her carriage hath a Majestick grace Inquisitive In Equinoctial pace she walks not run Faction But Iuly 's sultry hot Ambitious proud Censure And in a fiery Chariot she doth ride Pleasure When angry is she thundring speaks aloud Tranquill. Peace Shoots Lightning through the clouds on every side Enter Monsieur Sensuality and breaks off their Dialogue-Discourse Sensuality Iove bless us what Designs have you Ladies and Gentlemen that you sit
are not madly drunk nor drunkly mad for they poor creatures drink nothing but water Portrait Perchance if they did drink strong drink it might make them soberly in their right wits Enter Mother Matron as partly drunk Matron Where is Monsieur Frisk O that Monsieur Frisk were here Faction What would you have with Monsieur Frisk Matron I would challenge Monsieur Frisk Ambition What to sight Matron Yes in Cupids Wars Portrait By Venus I swear thou hast been Cashier'd from Cupids Wars this thirty years Matron Come come Ladies for all your frumps you are forced to make me General to lead up the Train and Generalissimo to set the Battalia so that though I am too old to be a common Souldier I am young enough to be a Commander Superbe Thou art at this time but a drunken Commander Matron If I am drunk I am but as a Commander ought to be or as a Commander usually is Ambition Pray do not accuse Mother Matron for though her Brain may be a little disturb'd yet her Reason is sober and governs her Tongue orderly Matron O sweet Monsieur Frisk Exit Mother Matron Faction If her Reason governs her Tongue I do not perceive it governs her Humour Faction Her Humour say you you mean her Appetites Exeunt ACT II. Scene 7. Enter Madamoiselle Pleasure and Monsieur Tranquillitous Peace PLeasure Passions are begot betwixt the Soul and the Body the Reason and the Sense and the Habitation of the Passions is the Heart which is in the midst of man as betwixt the Rational part the Head and the Sensual Part Tranquill What part is that Madam Pleasure The bestial part Tranquill What part is the bestial part for I cannot perceive but beasts and men are alike in most parts Pleasure I am not a Lectural Reader of parts Tranquill One would think you were by your former Discourse Pleasure Why I may mention parts without Preaching on parts Tranquill But if Women would Preach of the parts of the Body and leave Preaching of the Spirit and Soul it would be better for themselves their Husbands Friends and Neighbours than it is And if men would do the like it would be better for themselves their wives and neighbours But they preach altogether of the Soul and yet know not what the Soul is Pleasure How would you have them preach of the Body Tranquill First as for themselves if they would consider for they must consider before they Preach which is to Teach If they would consider I say how frail the parts of Mankind are how tender and weak every part of the body is how apt they are to sickness diseases how they are subject more to pain than to pleasure how difficult it is to keep the body from harm how soon the body withers decays and dies If Mankind did consider this of the body they would study what was the guard and the preservation of every part of the body in which study they would find Temperance the only preservation of parts and life of pleasure for in Excess pleasure dies and pains possess the body Thus we can destroy the body sooner by Excess and preserve it longer by Temperance than otherwise it would be Secondly for those that are maried temperance keeps both man and wise chaste patient and healthful because gluttony debauchery and intemperate anger hurts the body and destroys the body Thus temperance keeps the place of Wedlock for a Wife being patient the Husband lives peaceably being chaste he lives honourably being healthful he lives comfortably and the Husband being temperate he will neither be a Glutton a Drunkard an Adulterer nor Gamester for gaming hurts the body with vexing at the losses and sitting still which hinders the Exercise of the body or keeping unseasonable hours which is pernicious to the health of the Body as to the quiet of the Mind and waste of their Estates Thus a man and wife lives free from jealousies and fear of poverty Thirdly for their Neighbours If they be temperate they will neither be covetous quarrelsome nor envious which will keep them from doing injury or wrong and will cause them to be friendly and kind for if they covet not their neighbours goods they will not strive to possess their neighbours right if they be not envious they will be sociable and helpful to each other as good neighbours ought to be thus they will not vex each other with Law-sutes and quarrelling Disputes nor Adulteries and the like And if men live peaceably it is good for the Common-wealth as being free from faction and tumult Besides Peace and Love are the ground whereon all the Commands of the Gods are built on Pleasure You may preach temperance but few will follow your Doctrine Tranquill Yes Pleasure will for without temperance there can be no lasting pleasure Exeunt Scene 8. Enter Idle and Ease EAse Yonder 's Mother Matron so metamorphos'd as at first I did not know her Idle How metamorphos'd is she Ease Most strangely attir'd for her Age and as strangely behav'd Idle How for Iupiters sake Ease Why she hath a green Sattin gown on but it is of an ill-chosen green for it is of the colour of goos-dung and an Orange-yellow Feather on her head Idle I hope she is not jealous Ease Then is she beset with many several colour'd Ribbons as Hair-colour Watchet Blush-colour and White Idle What to express her Despair Constancy Modesty and Innocence Ease I think she may despair but for her constancy I doubt it and for modesty I dare swear she never had any but if she had it was so long since as she hath quite forgot it as for her innocence I will leave it to the Examination or Accusation of her own Conscience Idle But how is her behaviour Ease Why she simpers and draws the deep lines in her face into closes and her wrinckles are the quick-set hedges then she turns her Eyes aside in coy glances and her Body is in a perpetual motion turning and winding and wreathing about from object to object and her Gate is jetting and sometimes towards a dancing pace besides she is toying and playing with every thing like a Girl of fifteen and now and then she will sing quavering as a Note or two betwixt a word or two after the French and Courtly Mode Idle Surely she is mad Enter Wanton Wanton Who 's mad Idle Mother Matron Wanton No otherwise than all Amorous Lovers use to be Idle Why is she an Amorous Lover Wanton Yes a most desperate one Ease Who is she so amourously affected with Wanton With Monsieur Frisk Idle Why he is not above one and twenty years of Age Wanton That 's the reason she 's in love with him for it is his youth and his dancing she amourously affects him for for she swears that the very first time she saw him dance Cupid did wound her and shot his golden Arrows from the heels of Monsieur Frisk Ease Why she is threescore and ten
very handsom man well-behav'd and of a ready wit 2 Man 'T is strange it should not be known of what Parentage he is of 1 Man It is not known as yet Exeunt Scene 2. Enter two Men 1 MAn Sir were not you a servant to the Lord of Sage 2 Man Yes Sir 1 Man He was a Wise and a Noble Person 2 Man He was so Heaven rest his Soul 1 Man 'T is said he hath left but one only Child and she a Daughter which Daughter is sole Heir to all his Estate 2 Man She is so 1 Man And it is also reported she will be woo'd in publick or else she 'l never wed 2 Man The Report is true Sir for I am now going to invite all her Friends and acquaintance to whom she desires to publish her resolutions 1 Man Is she resolv'd of it 2 Man She hath vow'd it 1 Man Pray favour me so much as to give me a Character of her 2 Man She is Virtuous Young Beautiful Graceful and hath a supernatural Wit and she hath been bred and brought up to all Virtuosus which adorns her Natural Gifts she lives magnificently yet orders her Estate prudently 1 Man This Lady may be a sample to all her Sex Exeunt Scene 3. Enter two Grave Matrons 1 Matron Mistris Simple is the very'st Fool that ever I tutor'd or instructed 2 Matron Do you mean a fool by imprudence or a fool that speaks improperly 1 Matron I do not know what her imprudence may be but in her words there is no coherence 2 Matron Alas she is young and youth is a Cage of Ignorance and boys and girls are like birds which learn from their tutors and tutoresses artificial tunes which are several Languages Sciences Arts and the like But the truth is of all sorts of Birds the Cocks are more apt to learn than the Hens 1 Matron If she can be taught sense I am much mistaken for she hath not a reasonable capacity to learn 2 Matron Why then she hath a defect in Nature as a Changeling 1 Matron I think so 2 Matron Why should you think so since youths capacity cannot be measured by their Educators for Time is the only measure of the rational capacity And to prove it some boys and girls will be so dull as to seem stupid to Learning and yet in their strength of years may prove very rational understanding and wise men or women besides the Brain is like to the Air 't is sometimes thick with mysty Errours sometimes dark with clouds of Ignorance and sometimes clear with Understanding when as the Sun of Knowledge shines and perchance you heard her speak when her Brain was cloudy and dark 1 Matron So dark as her words could not find the right way to sense 2 Matron Perchance if you hear her speak some other times when her Brain is clear you may hear her speak wisely 1 Matron It is so unlikely she should ever speak wisely as it is near to impossible 2 Matron Indeed unlikely and impossible do some way resemble each other But let me tell you the Brain is like the Face it hath its good days and its bad for Beauty and Wit have not only their times and seasons but their foul and fair days 1 Matron You say true for the choisest Beauties that ever were or are will somtimes look worse than at other times nay so ill they will look sometimes as they might be thought they were not Beauties 2 Matron The like for Wit for certainly the greatest Wit that ever was or is may sometimes be so dull and unactive as it might be thought they were so far from being Wits as they might be judged Fools And certainly the most Eloquent Orators that ever were have spoke at some times less Eloquently than at other times insomuch that at some times although the subject of their Discourse is so full of Matter and Reason as might have oyl'd their Tongues smooth'd their Words and enlighten'd their Fancy yet they will speak as if their Wits had catch'd cold and their Tongues had the numb Palsy on which their words run stumbling out of their mouths as insensible when as at other times although the subject of their discourse be barren or boggy woody or rocky yet their Wit will run a Race without stop or stay and is deck'd and adorn'd with flowry Rhetorick And certainly the wisest men that ever were have given both themselves and others worse counsel sometimes than at other times and certainly the valiantest man that ever was had sometimes more courage than at other times But yet although a valiant man may have more courage at one time than another yet he is at no time a coward nor a wise man a fool 1 Matron But Orators may chance to speak non-sense 2 Matron They may so and many times do 1 Matron Why then may not a Valiant man be at some times a Coward and a Wise man a Fool as well as Orators to speak non-sense 2 Matron Because Valour Judgment and Prudence are created in the Soul and is part of its Essence I do not mean every soul but the souls of Valiant and Wise men for souls differ as much as bodies some are created defective others perfect but words are only created in the mouth and are born through the lips before the soul of sense is enter'd or inbodied therein 1 Matron An Orators tongue is powerful 2 Matron An Orators tongue doth rather play on Passions than compose the Judgment or set notes to the Reason like as a Fidler that can play tunes on musical Instruments but is no Musician to compose and set tunes But there are many men that have eloquent tongues but not witty souls they have the Art of words but not the Spirit of wit Exeunt Scene 4. Enter the Lady Prudence and a company of Ladies and Knights whom she had invited to hear her Resolutions She stands by her self and speaks Lady Prudence Kind Friends and worthy Acquaintance you may think it strange and perchance take it ill I invite you only to a simple Discourse for to declare a vain Vow as you may judge it so to be which Vow I made since my Father the Lord Sage's death The Vow is never to receive a Lovers Address or to answer a Lovers Sute but in a publick Assembly and 't is likely the World will laugh at this as ridiculous or condemn it for pride or scorn it as self-conceit But if they will be pleased to weigh it in Judgements Scales they will find it poysed with a good Intention and make a just weight of Conveniency against unaccustomariness for though it is not usual yet it is very requisite especially to such young women which are Orphans who like small and weak Vessels that are destitute of Guide or Pilot are left on the wide Sea-faring World to ruinous waves and inconstant weather even so young women are to the Appetites of greedy men and their own inconstant and changing Natures and
of the same fault but we have this advantage of men which is that we know this imperfection in our selves although we do not indeavour to mend it but men are so Partial to themselves as not to perceive this imperfection in themselves and so they cannot mend it but in this will not or cannot is as one but this discourse hath brought me to this that if I have spoke at any time to any person or persons impertinently improperly untimely or tediously I ask their pardon but lest I should be impertinently tedious in this Epistle and so commit a fault in asking pardon I leave my Readers to what may be more pleasing to them M. N. TO THE READERS NOBLE READERS I Make no question but my Playes will be censured and those Censurors severe but I hope not malicious but they will perchance say that my Playes are too serious by reason there is no rediculous Iest in them nor wanton Love nor Impossibilities also 't is likely they will say that there are no plots nor designs nor subtil Contrivances and the like I answer that the chief Plots of my Playes were to imploy my idle time the designs to please and entertain my Readers and the contrivance was to join edifying Profit and Delight together that my Readers may neither lose their time nor grow weary in the reading but if they find my Playes neither Edifying nor Delightfull I shall be sorry but if they find either I shall be pleased and if they find both I shall much rejoyce that my time hath been imployed to some good use M. N. TO THE READERS WORTHY READERS I Have heard that such Poets that write Playes seldome or never join or sow the several Scenes together they are two several Professions at least not usual for rare Poets to take that pains like as great Taylors the Master only cuts out and shapes and his Iourny-men and Apprentices join and sow them together but I like as a poor Taylor was forced to do all my self as to cut out shape join and sow each several Scene together without any help or direction wherefore I fear they are not so well done but that there will be many faults found but howsoever I did my best indeavour and took great pains in the ordering and joining thereof for which I hope my Learned Readers will pardon the errors therein and excuse me the worker thereof M. N. TO THE READERS NOBLE READERS MY Lord was pleased to illustrate my Playes with some Scenes of his own Wit to which I have set his name that my Readers may know which are his as not to couzen them in thinking they are mine also Songs to which my Lords name is set for I being no Lyrick Poet my Lord supplied that defect of my Brain with the superfluity of his own Brain thus our Wits join as in Matrimony my Lords the Masculine mine the Feminine Wit which is no small glory to me that we are Married Souls Bodies and Brains which is a treble marriage united in one Love which I hope is not in the power of Death to dissolve for Souls may love and Wit may live though Bodies dye M. N. I Must trouble my Noble Readers to write of one thing more which is concerning the Reading of Playes for Playes must be read to the nature of those several humours or passions as are exprest by Writing for they must not read a Scene as they would read a Chapter for Scenes must be read as if they were spoke or Acted Indeed Comedies should be read a Mimick way and the sound of their Voice must be according to the sense of the Scene and as for Tragedies or Tragick Scenes they must not be read in a pueling whining Voice but a sad serious Voice as deploring or complaining but the truth is there are as few good Readers as good Writers indeed an ill Reader is as great a disadvantage to wit as wit can have unless it be ill Acted for then it 't is doubly disgraced both in the Voice and Action whereas in Reading only the voice is imployed but when as a Play is well and skillfully read the very sound of the Voice that enters through the Ears doth present the Actions to the Eyes of the Fancy as lively as if it were really Acted but howsoever Writings must take their Chance and I leave my Playes to Chance and Fortune as well as to Censure and Reading M. N. To the Lady Marchioness of Newcastle upon her Playes TErence and Plautus Wits we now do scorn Their Comick Socks worn out in pieces torn Only their rags of Wit remain as toyes For Pedants to admire to teach School Boyes It is not time hath wasted all their Fame But your high Phancies and your nobler flame Which burnt theirs up in their own ashes lies Nor Phoenix like e'r out of those will rise Old Tragick Buskins now are thrown away When we read your each Passion in each Play No stupid block or stony heart forbears To drown their Cheeks in Seas of salter Tears Such power you have in Tragick Comick stile When for to fetch a tear or make a smile Still at your pleasure all our passions ly Obedient to your pen to laugh or cry So even with the thread of Natures fashion As you play on her heart-strings still of passion So we are all your Subjects in each Play Unwilling willingly still to obey Or have a thought but what you make or draw Us by the power of your wits great law Thus Emperess in Soveraign power yours fits Over the wise and tames Poetick wits W. Newcastle A General Prologue to all my Playes NOBLE Spectators do not think to see Such Playes that 's like Ben Johnsons Alchymie Nor Fox nor Silent Woman for those Playes Did Crown the Author with exceeding praise They were his Master-pieces and were wrought By wits Invention and his labouring thought And his Experience brought Materials store His reading several Authors brought much more What length of time he took those Plays to write I cannot guess not knowing his Wits flight But I have heard Ben Johnsons Playes came forth To the Worlds view as things of a great worth Like Forein Emperors which do appear Unto their Subjects not 'bove once a year So did Ben Johnsons Playes so rarely pass As one might think they long a writing was But my poor Playes like to a common rout Gathers in throngs and heedlesly runs out Like witless Fools or like to Girls and Boyes Goe out to shew new Clothes or such like toyes This shews my Playes have not such store of wit Nor subtil plots they were so quickly writ So quickly writ that I did almost cry For want of work my time for to imploy Sometime for want of work I 'm forc'd to play And idlely to cast my time away Like as poor Labourers all they desire Is to have so much work it might them tire Such difference betwixt each several brain Some labour hard and
is the truth of it Sir Roger Exception Pray Madam let us go and not stay to anger this young Lady as we do Lady Wagtaile Farewell friend Sir Humphry Bold and I will visit your Lady to morrow As they were all going away the Lady Wagtaile turnes back again Lady Wagtaile Pray what may I call your name Reformer My name is Reformer Lady Wagtaile Good Mrs. Reformer I am heartily glad to see you well Reformer I thank you Ladyship All goeth away but Sir Serious Dumb and he stayes a little time to look upon the Lady Bashfull and then goeth out Ex. The Lady Bashfull Sola and after they were all gone she stretches up herself Lady Bashfull O in what a torment I have been in holl is not like it Exit Scene 5. Enter the Lady Orphant and Mrs. Acquaintance LAdy Orphant Have you got the Picture Mrs. Acquaintance Yes but I have seen handsomer men in my opinion than this Picture doth represent The Lady Orphant takes the Picture and views it with a stedfast eye Lady Orphant I perceive you have no judgment in the Originall nor skill in the Copy for this Picture is most naturally penselled the Painter hath drawn it so lively That one may perceive his noble Soul to appear through his lovely and lively Countenance do but observe it well and you will see as much as I Mrs. Acquaintance That is impossible unless I had your heart for though my skill of the Copy or shadow may be as much as yours yet my affections to the Originall is less which makes my eyes not partiall Lady Orphant What will the owner take for that Picture Mrs. Acquaintance She will not sell it at any rate Lady Orphant I wish she would for I would buy it at any price Mrs. Acquaintance She prizes it as highly as you loving him as much or well as you do Lady Orphant How know you that Mrs. Acquaintance Because I know she hath given him proofs of her love which I believe you never did Lady Orphant You mistake lust for love ambition for merit I love not for the bodyes sake but for the soules pure spirit Ex. ACT II. Scene 6. Enter two Merchants 1. MErchant I hear the Lord Singularity hath given the Turkes a great defeat he is both a wise prudent and valiant man 2. Merchant Methinkes our Nation should not suffer such a person as he to hazard his life in the service of other Countryes 1. Merchant O it is an honour to our Nation to let the world know what gallant men it breeds besides our Nation is in peace with all the world and he being active hates to live idly and dully at home although he have a great estate and is well beloved in his Country 2. Merchant What command doth the Venetians give him 1. Merchant He is a Generall for he commands a great Army 2. Merchant Is he marryed 1. Merchant No and it is reported he never will marry but he loves Mistrisses well which all Souldiers doth for the most part 2. Merchant Then Italy is the best Countrey in the world for a souldier there being the greatest store and most variety of Curtezans for many of the Italians are as many are in other Nations rather Carpet-Knights then fighting souldiers they have more skill in setting musicall notes than pitching a battle in kissing a Mistrisses hand with a good grace than shooting of a Cannon bullet with a great courage they can take better aime at a window than of an enemy And though they often receive woundes yet they are from fair Venus not from cruell Mars 1. Merchant But Mars souldiers when they skirmish in loves duels receives woundes as often from fair Venus as other men and Italy hath as many gallant valliant men bred and born in her as any other Nation and there are as many Carpet-Knights in other Nations as in Italy and if valiant and gallant men be indued with vertue they are not the less to be esteemed and as for Curtizans all Nations is stored as much as Italy but they do not so openly prefess it as those in Italy doth 2. Merchant For my part I cannot think they are so good Souldiers as they were in Caesars time 1. Merchant That may be for there is no such souldiers as Caesars souldiers were no not in the world that is there are no men so patient obedient carefull industrious laborious daring adventurous resolute and active in these Warrs in this age as the Romans were in Caesars time and of all the souldiers Caesars souldiers were the best and of all commanders Caesar himself yet those warriers was not less courtly to the feminine sex than these of this age and if you did talk with an understanding Souldier he would tell you that Amors gave an edge to courage and that it is a mark of a gallant man and a brave souldier to be an Amarato and as for the Curtizans of Italy if there can be an honest act in a dishonest life it is that the Curtizans in Italy professes what they are so that men are not deceived by them nor betrayed into marriage wherein other Nations men are cozened with counterfeit modesty and drawn into marriage by pretended chastity and then dishonoured by soul adultery or shamed by marrying a private Curtizan not knowing she was so 2. Merchant I perceive by thee that Merchants loves a Mistris as well as a Souldier 1. Merchant Surely by thy talk thou art ignorant of thy own profession which is to trade and traffick into all Nations and with all sorts but yet Merchants may be Souldiers if they will and Souldiers may be Merchants if they please but the truth is all men in the world are Merchants 2. Merchant No beggers are not 1. Merchant But they are for they traffick with prayers and praises for almes 2. Merchant The best Merchants I know are Priests for they trade into Heaven and traffick with Iove 1. Merchant That makes them so poor for heavens commoditie are not saleable on earth Ex. Scene 7. Enter the Lady Orphant Nurse Fondly Foster Trusty LAdy Orphant Dear Nurse and Foster Father grant to my desires and assist my designs Nurse Fondly What to let you wander about the world like a Vagabond besides it is against the modesty of your Sex Lady Orphant Are holy Pilgrimes Vagabonds or is it immodest for the bodies of devout soules to travell to the sacred Tombe to offer penetentiall tears Nurse Fondly Why you are no Pilgrime nor is your journey to a godly end Lady Orphant My journey will be to an honest end for though I am loves Pilgrime yet I shall travell to an honest heart there to offer my pure affections Nurse Fondly To a deboist man there to offer your Virginity Lady Orphant Mistake me not for though I love beyond a common rate even to an extream degree yet I am chastly honest and so shall ever be my grave shall witness my constancy The Lady Orphant weeping Ex. Foster
sit down or to bid him leave her company and surely they must needs be both very weary of walking but sure he will leave her when it is time to go to bed Reformer It is to be hoped he will Enter the Lady Bashfull and Sir Serious Dumb following her Reformer Madam you will tire your self and the Gentleman with walking about your house wherefore pray sit down Lady Bashfull What! To have him gaze upon my face Reformer Why your face is a handsome face and the owner of it is honest wherefore you need not be ashamed but pray rest your self Lady Bashfull Pray perswade him to leave me and then I will Reformer Sir my Lady intreats you to leave her to her self Sir Serious Dumb writes then and gives Reformer his Table-book to read Reformer He writes he cannot leave you for if his body should depart his soul will remain still with you Lady Bashfull That will not put me out of countenance because I shall not be sensible of its presence wherefore I am content he should leave his soul so that he will take his body away He writes and gives Reformer the Book Reformer reads He writes that if you will give him leave once a day to see you that he will depart and that he will not disturb your thoughts he will only wait upon your person for the time he lives he cannot keep himself long from you Lady Bashfull But I would be alone Reformer But if he will follow you you must indure that with patience you cannot avoid Sir Serious Dumb goeth to the Lady Bashfull and kisseth her hand and Ex. Reformer You see he is so civil as he is unwilling to displease you Lady Bashfull Rather than I will be troubled thus I will go to some other parts of the World Reformer In my conscience Madam he will follow you wheresoever you go Lady Bashfull But I will have him shut out of my house Reformer Then he will lye at your gates and so all the Town will take notice of it Lady Bashfull Why so they will howsoever by his often visits Reformer But not so publick Exeunt Scene 31. Enter the General and Affectionata Lord Singularity Affectionata Thou must carry a Letter from me to my Mistriss Affectionata You will not marry her you say Lord Singul. No Affectionata Then pardon me my Lord for though I would assist your honest love by any service I can do yet I shall never be so base an Instrument as to produce a crime Lord Singul. Come come thou shalt carry it and I will give thee 500. pounds for thy service Affectionata Excuse me my Lord Lord Singularity I will give thee a thousand pounds Affectionata I shall not take it my Lord Lord Singul. I will give thee five thousand nay ten thousand pounds Affectionata I am not covetous my Lord Lord Singularity I will make thee Master of my whole Estate for without the assistance I cannot injoy my Mistriss by reason she will trust none with our Loves but thee Affectionata Could you make me Master of the whole World it could not tempt me to do an action base for though I am poor I am honest and so honest as I cannot be corrupted or bribed there-from Lord Singularity You said you loved me Affectionata Heaven knows I do above my life and would do you any service that honour did allow of Lord Singularity You are more scrupulous than wise Affectionata There is an old saying my Lord that to be wise is to be honest Exeunt Scene 32. Enter Sir Peaceable Studious and meets his Ladies maid Sir P. Studious Where is your Lady Maid In her Chamber Sir Sir P. Studious Pray her to come to me Maid Yes Sir Sir P. Studious Exit Enter another Maid to the first 1. Maid Lord Lord What a creature my Master is become since he fell into his musing again he looks like a melancholy Ghost that walks in the shades of Moon-shine or if there be no Ghost such as we fancie just such a one seems her when a week since he was as fine a Gentleman as one should see amongst a thousand 2. Maid That was because he kiss'd you Nan 1. Maid Faith it was but a dull clownish part to meet a Maid that is not ill-favoured and not make much of her who perchance have watch'd to meet him for which he might have clap'd her on the cheek or have chuck'd her under the chin or have kiss'd her but to do or say nothing but bid me call my Lady was such a churlish part Besides it seemed neither manly gallantly nor civilly 2. Maid But it shewed him temperate and wise not minding such frivilous and troublesome creatures as women are 1. Maid Prithy it shews him to be a miserable proud dull fool 2. Maid Peace some body will hear you and then you will be turn'd away 1. Maid I care not for it they will not turn me away I will turn my self away and seek another service for I hate to live in the house with a Stoick Scene 33. Enter the General and Affectionata AFfectionata By your face Sir there seems a trouble in your mind and I am restless until I know your griefs Lord Singularity It is a secret I dare not trust the aire with Affectionata I shall be more secret than the aire for the aire is apt to divulge by retorting Echoes back but I shall be as silent as the Grave Lord Singul. But you may be tortured to confess the truth Affectionata But I will not confess the truth if the confession may any wayes hurt or disadvantage you for though I will not belye truth by speaking falsely yet I will conceal a truth rather than betray a friend Especially my Lord and Master But howsoever since your trouble is of such concern I shall not with to know it for though I dare trust my self yet perchance you dare not trust me but if my honest fidelity can serve you any wayes you may imploy it and if it be to keep a secret all the torment that nature hath made or art invented shall never draw it from me Lord Singul. Then let me tell thee that to conceal it would damn thy soul Affectionata Heaven bless me But sure my Lord you cannot be guilty of such sins that those that doth but barely hear or know them shall be damned Lord Singul, But to conceal them is to be an Actor Affectionata For Heaven sake then keep them close from me if either they be base or wicked for though love prompt me to inquire hoping to give you ease in bearing part of the burthen yet Heaven knows I thought my love so honourable placed on such a worthy person and guiltless soul as I might love and serve without a scandal or a deadly sin Lord Singularity Come you shall know it Affectionata I 'l rather stop my ears with death Lord Singul. Go thou art a false boy Affectionata How false a boy howsoever you think me I have an
than either I can express or think you to be Mad. Doltche Nay if I be above your thoughts I am above your delight for man-kind takes no great pleasure in that they comprehend not Mons. Compliment I believe you do not comprehend how well I love you Mad. Doltche No truely for love is like infinite it hath no circumference wherefore I will not trouble my self in loves wayes since it is an endlesse journey Mons. Compliment But surely Lady though you cannot find that worth in me as merits your esteem and affection yet you will favour me for your lathers command and love me for his desire Doltche If my Father desires me to dye I shall satisfie his desire for it is in my power to take away my own life when I will but it is not in my power to love those my Father would have me for love is not to be commanded nor directed nor governed nor prescribed for love is free and not to be controuled Also I may marry a man my Father desires me but sure my Father will not desire nor command me to marry if I cannot love the man he would have me marry as I ought to do a Husband Ex. Scene 5. Enter Madam Caprisia and a Grave Matron MAtron Madamosel Caprisia there is a Gentleman one of my acquaintance doth desire to see you Madam Capris. He desires more than I do for I never see a man but I wish a vail before my sight or one before his Matron Have you taken a surfeit of eyes as you hate to look on a mans face Madam Capris. Yes of wanton eyes that skips from face to face which makes me love the blind Matron I wonder whether the soul may be satisfied or surfeit as the senses do Capris. The thoughts passions and appetites which are begot betwixt the soul and senses will surfeit if they be over-fed Enter Monsieur Bon Compaignon Bon Compaignon What is that Lady that is over-fed Capris. A fools-head Bon Compaignon How can a fools head be over-fed Capris. With hearing and seeing more than it can digest into understanding Bon Compaignon You have not such a head Lady for your head is so full of wit as it perpetually flows thorough your lips yet whatsoever it doth receive the Son of reason doth digest and refines into spirits of senses Capris. I must confess my tongue is more fertil than my brain the which comes more words from the one than sense or reason from the other but least I should over-fill your ears with my idle talks I will leave you Ex. Bon Compaignon And I will follow you for my ears are unsatisfied having but a taste of her wit which makes a greater appetite Bon Compaignon and Matron Ex. Scene 6. Enter Madamosel Solid Monsieur Profession and Monsieur Comorade his friend MOnsieur Prosession Lady you live as if you lived not living so solitary a life Lady Solid Indeed few doth live as they should that is to live within themselves for the soul which is the supream part of the life is never at home but goeth wandering about from place to place from person to person and so from one thing to another and not only the soul wanders thus but all the Family of the soul as the thoughts and passions for should any thing knock at the gates of the soul which are the senses or enter the chambers of the soul which is the heart and the head they would find them empty for the thoughts and passions which passions are of the Bed-chamber which is the heart and Presence-chamber which is the head wherein they ought to wait are for the most part all gone abroad as for the thoughts they are gone to inquire news walking and running into every Village Town City and Country and Kingdom all to inquire what such and such persons said or acted and the particular affairs of every particular person and every particular Family as whether they increase with riches or decay with poverty whether they live beyond their means or keep within their compasse what men and women are in love who are constant and who are false what contracts are signed or what contracts are broken who marries and who lives single lives who is happy in marriage and who is not what children is born who hath children and who hath none who is handsome and who is ill-favoured who dyes and of what diseases they died of whether they left wealth or were poor or who were their Heirs or Executors who are Widowers Widows or Orphants who hath losses crosses and misfortunes who is in favour or disgrace with such Princes or States who is at Law what suits there is lost or gained what bribes were given and taken who was arrested or imprisoned for debts or set in the Pillary or Stocks for disorder or cast into the Counter for misdemeanour who is accused or imprisoned for Robbery Murther or Treason who is condemned or reprieved what deaths they died or torments indur'd what Laws there is made repeald or broke what Officers or Magistrates there are made plac'd or displac'd or put out what factions or bruleries there is what leagues and associates there is made betwixt States and Princes vvhat Wars or Peace there is or like to be betwixt such or such Kingdoms vvhat triumphs or shevvs there is or like to be vvhat Mountebanks Tumblers and Dancers there is vvhat strange Birds Beasts or Monsters there is to be seen what Drunkards Bavvds and Whores there is vvhat Duels hath been sought and the cause of their quarrels who hath lost at play and vvho hath vvon vvhat nevv fashions there is vvhat Stuffs Silks Laces and Imbroideries there is vvhat Lords Ladyes Knights or Esquires hath nevv Coaches or Liveries vvhat rich cloths they had or have what Church is most frequented vvhat Balls Masks Plays Feasts there is or like to be and many the like vain idle unusefull unprofitable inquiries observations and entertainments their thoughts imployes and vvasts their time vvith as for the passions and affections they are as much abroad as the rest of the thoughts some being vvith such and such men or such and such vvomen as first vvith one and then vvith another or vvith such a house or houses or lands or vvith such Jevvels or Place or Hangings or Pictures or the like also the passions and affections wander amongst Beasts as with such a Horse Dog Monkey or the like or with Birds as with such a Hawk Cock of the Game or prating Parrot or singing Linet or the like or the passions and affections are attending watching or seeking after such or such Offices or Commands Governments or Titles nay the very soul itself goeth after such and such designes so as it doth as it were run away from it self it follows the World and worldly things but never draws any benefit to it self but that soul that keeps at home which very few souls doth imployes it self for it self it only views the
unchaste lives would be as marks of disgrace and spots of infamie upon the Tombs of those dead Ancestors and their ashes would be full'd with their stains whereas a chast woman and a gallant man obliges both the living and the dead for they give honour to their dead Ancestors in their Graves and to those friends that are living in the World and to those that shall succeed them Besides their examples of their vertues for all Ages to take out patterns from Comorade Madam you have answered so well for your self and Sex as I can say no more in the behalf of my friend Ex. Scene 20. Enter Madam la Mere and Madamosel Caprisia her daughter MEre Daughter your tongue is so sharp as it is not only poynted but edged on both sides Capris. Use Mother will blunt the poynt and flat the edges Mere No Daughter the more 't is used the sharper it will be for words and passions are the whetstones to that Razor Capris. As long as that Razor shaves no reputation let it raze or shave what it will Ex. Scene 21. Enter Madamosel Solid Madamosel Doltche Madamosel Volante and a Grave Matron MAtron Madamosel Solid what say you to Monsieur Ralleries wit Solid I say of him as I would of a wild or skittish jade who hath only strength to kick and fling but not to travel or to bear any weight so Rallerie is antick postures and laughing reproaches not solid and judicious discourses or continued speeches the truth is a ralleying wit is like obstructed or corrupted lungs which causes difficult and short breathing So that wit is short and puffing spurting out words questions and replyes 't is squib wit or boys sport Matron Madamosel Doltche what say you of Monsieur Satericals wit Doltche As I would of frosty weather his wit is sharp but wholesome and though he hath a frowning brow yet he hath a clear soul Matron Madamosel Volante What say you of Monsieur Pedants wit Volante As I would of Leeches for as Leeches sucks bloud from the back parts of men and spues it forth when rubb'd with salt so Monsieur Pedant sucks wit from other mens pens and mouths and then spues it forth again being rubb'd with the itch of prayse But all the learned knows the wit was no more his own than the bloud that was suck'd was the Leeches Matron What say you of Monsieur Lyricks wit Volante As I would of a Bird that chirps more than sings Matron Madamosel Doltche What say you of Monsieur Tragedians wit Doltche As I would of Winter wherein is more rain than Sun-shines more storms than calms more night than day so his wit hath more melancholly than mirth causing or producing tears sighs and sadnesse the truth is his wit dwels in the shades of death Matron Madamosel Solid what say you to Monsieur Comicals wit Solid As I would of the Spring which revives and refreshes the life of every thing it is lightsom and gay So Monsieur Comicals wit is chearfull pleasant lively natural and profitable as being edifying Ex. Scene 22. Enter Madam la Mere and Madamosel Caprisia her Daughter MERE Daughter let me tell you you have brought your Hogs to a fair Market Capris. That is better than to keep them in a foul stye Mother Mere You cannot speak without crossing Capris. Nor readily crosse without speaking Mere I am sure your bitter discourses and crosse answers hath caused the Lady namely the Lady Hercules to send a rayling message by a Messenger to declare her anger for your abusive discourses against her Capris. I never mentioned her in my discourse in my life Mere But you speak against big and tall women Capris. I gave but my opinion of the size and Sex not of any particular and I may speak freely my opinion of the generalities Mere You may chance by your opinion of the generalities to be generally talk'd of Capris. VVhy then I shall live in discourse although discourse were dead in me and who had not rather live although an ill life than dye Mere But you might live so as to gain every bodyes good opinion if you would palliate your humour and sweeten your discourse and endeavour to please in conversation Capris. Which do you mean Mother either to please my self or the company Mere Why the company Capris. That is impossible for in all company there is diversities and contrarieties of humours passions appetites delights pleasures opinions judgements wits understandings and the like and for talking speaking and discoursing they are inter-changing inter-mixing reasoning arguing disputing which causes contradictions wherefore to agree in and to every humour passion opinion and discourse is impossible indeed one may seemly or truly agree and approve of any one opinion or discourse but not a diversity of discourses opinions also one may flatteringly applaud or sooth any particular persons humour but not diverse persons diverse humours but to flatter is base as to approve in their words and disapprove in their thoughts as to commend or applaud that or those that is not praise-worthy But howsoever for the soothing of any bodies humour I will never take the pains for why should I make my self a slave to the several humours of mankind who is never in one humour two minutes and why may not I think or desire to be flattered and humoured as well as others and when I am not flattered and humoured to be as much displeased at others as others at me VVherefore good Mother be not you displeased that I chose rather to displease my self than any body else besides your self Mere You will follow your own wayes Daughter Capris. I cannot walk safer than in my own ground Mother Ex. Scene 23. Enter Monsieur Perfection and Madamosel Solid SOlid Dear Mistress I fear my absence hath made you forget me Solid No certainly I cannot forget you by reason my brain is hung about with the memory of your worthy nature and meritorious actions which my love doth admire and takes delight for to view each several piece and part Perfection Do you love me Solid How can I chose but love when in my infancy such a number of words in your praise was thrown into my ears like seeds into the Earth which took root in my heart from which love sprouted forth and grew up with my years Perfection And will you be constant Solid As day is to the Sun Perfection Do you speak truth Solid Truly I have been bred up so much and so long in the wayes of truth as I know no tract of dissembling and therefore certainly my words will ever keep within the compass of Truth and my actions will alwaies turn and run with that byas but why do you seem to doubt in making such questions Perfection I will truly confess I have heard that since I have been in the Countrey you had entertained another Lover Solid It 's false but false reports is like breathing upon a pure and clear Glasse it dimns it for a time
Solid O you are welcome Doctor Freedom Doctor If I be not welcome now I shall never be welcome Volante Why Doctor what Present have you brought us that can make you so acceptable is it perpetual youth or undeniable beauty or everlasting life But prethee Doctor what is it that will make thee so welcome Doctor Why my self here being so many young Ladies together and not a man amongst them Volante Thy self Doctor why thou art not worth the dregs of an Urinal of a sick water if it were not for our charity and generosity more than thy merit ability or service you would have but a cold entertainment and a rule welcome Doctor Well my young wity saterycal Patient you will take a surfeit of fruit milk puddings pyes or sweet-meats one of these dayes and then you will flatter me Volante You say right Doctor but now I speak truth and is not that better than to flatter or dissemble For there is none but sick and deprav'd souls that will deliver Truth with a quarter half or three quartred face like Merchants or mechanick that would sell off their ill commodities with a broken light but a noble and healthfull soul shews the full face of Truth in a clear light wherefore the sick and base will flatter but the noble and free will speak truth Doctor VVell I am sure you think better of me in your thoughts than your words expresses Volante Let me tell you my words and thoughts are so well acquainted as they never dissemble and there is such a friendship betwixt them as they never move several wayes but runs even together But let me tell thee Doctor I have such a spleen to thy Sex as I desire to kill them at least to wound them with spitefull words and I wish I had beauty enough for to damn them causing them to be perjured by forsaking other women they were bound by sacred vows and holy bonds Enter Monsieur Discretion Discretion It is well Master Doctor that you can be priviledg'd amongst the young Ladyes at all times when such as I that have not your Profession are oftentimes shut and lockt out Doctor Faith if you have no better entertainment than I have had since I came it were better you were from them than with them for their tongues are as sharp as needles Volante 'T is a sign we want work when we are forc'd to stitch our wit upon you Discretion How dare you anger the Doctor when your life lyes upon his skill Volante O! His skill lyes upon chance and it is a chance whether he kills or cures is it not Doctor Doctor No for I can kill my Patients when I will although not cure them when I will Volante VVell then Doctor when I would dye I will send for you but not when I would live Discretion Your Servant Ladies Monsieur Discretion goeth out Doctor Good Lady Wit follow Monsieur Discretion he will make you a wise Lady and make your wit discreet as it should be Volante O Doctor how you mistake for wit cannot be made it is a Creator and not a Creature for wit was the first Master or Mistress of Arts the first Husband-man Granger Gardiner Carver Painter Graver Caster and Moulder Mason Joyner Smith Brasier Glazier the first Chandler Vintener Brewer Baker Cook Confectioner the first Spinster VVeaver Knitter Tayler Shoo-maker and millions the like also wit was the first Navigator Architector Mathematician Logitian Geometrician Cosmografir Astronomer Astrologer Philosopher Poet Historian and Hearold also wit made the first Common-wealth invented Laws for Peace Arms for VVars Ceremonies for State and Religion also musick dancing dressing masking playing for delight and pleasure wit divides time imployes time prevents time and provides for time it makes Heavens and Hells Gods and Divels Doctor VVell go thy wayes for though thou hast a heavenly mind and an angelical beauty yet thou hast a devilish wit Volante It shall be sure to torment thee Doctor but do you hear Doctor pray present my service to Monsieur Discretion and tell him it was a signe he lik'd not our company he made so short a stay Doctor He perceived by your usage of me that if he stayd you would beat him out of your company with your two edged tongues but I will tell him what a Rallery you are Volante I hope you will give me a good report for I have fully charged you Doctor You have over-charged me and therefore it is likely I shall break into exclamations Ex. ACT IV. Scene 28. Enter Monsieur Importunate and Madamosel Caprisia IMportunate Lady if I may not be your Husband pray let there be a friendship between us Capris. What kind of friendship would you make for there are so many and of such different natures as I know not which you would be as some friendship is made by beauty some by flattery some by luxurie some by factions others by knavery and all for interest Importunate None for love Capris. No but some are made by lust but they last not long Importunate And is there no friendship made by vertue Capris. O no for vertue may walk all the World over and meet never a friend which is the cause she lives alone for all the World thinks her too rigid for Society which makes mankind adhere to her enemie vice Importunate Doth not marriage make a friendship Capris. Very seldom for marriage is like a Common-wealth which is a contract of bodyes or rather a contract of interest not a friendship betwixt souls and there is as much Faction and oftener civil Wars in marriage than in publick Common-wealths Importunate I desire our friendship may be Platonick Capris. That is too dangerous for it oftimes proves a Traytor to Chastity Ex. Scene 29. Enter Monsieur Nobilissimo Madamosel Doltche and her Nurse NUrse Sir you must give me leave to chide you for staying so long with my Nurse-child as you keep her from her dinner either go away or stay and dine with her Nobilissimo Good Nurse be patient for though I am engaged to dine with other company yet her discourse is such charming musick as I have not power to go from her as yet Doltche If my discourse sounds musical 't is only when you are by but when you are absent the strings of my voice or speech is as if they were broken for then my tongue is out of Tune and my wit is out of humour Nobilissimo My dearest and sweetest Mistress may your merits be rewarded by Fame your vertue by Heaven your life by Nature and all your earthly desires by Fortune Doltche And my love by the return of yours Nobilissimo When I forsake you may Hell take my soul and Divels torment it for ingratitude and perjury Ex. Scene 30. Enter Madamosel Volante and a Grave Matron MAtron Madamosel Doltche seems to be a very fine sweet Lady well-behav'd sober modest discreet and of a gentle nature Volante Most commonly every one seems best at the first sight
expresse himself in such high poetical Raptures for his discourse is plain and ordinary Nobilissimo Nay sometimes his discourse is extraordinary as when he hath Wars but Nurse thou art old and the fire of love if ever thou hadst any is put out by old Father Times extinguisher Doltche True love never dyes nor can time put it out Nobilissimo 'T is true but Nurse seems by her speech as if she had never known true love for true love as it alwaies burns clear so it alwaies flames high far infinite is the fewel that feeds it Nurse Well well young Lovers be not so confident but let me advise you to ballance reason on both sides with hopes and doubts and then the judgement will be steady Nobilissimo But in the scales of love Nurse nothing must be but confidence Nurse Yes there must be temperance or love will surfeit and dye with excess Doltche Love cannot surfeit no more than souls with grace or Saints of Heaven Ex. Scene 37. Enter Madamosel Caprisia alone CApris. My smiles shall be as Baits my eyes as Angels where every look shall be a hook to catch a heart I 'l teach my tongue such art to plant words on each heart as they shall take deep root from whence pure love shall spring my lips shall be as flowery banks whereon sweet Rhethorick grows and cipherous fancy blows from which banks love shall wish to gather Posies of kisses where every single kisse shall differ as Roses Pinks Violets Primroses and Daffidillies and the breath therefrom shall be as fragant as the touch soft thereon and as the Sun doth heat the Earth so shall my imbraces heat my Lovers thoughts with self-conceit which were before like water frozen with a dejected and despairing cold Hay ho Ex. ACT V. Scene 38. Enter Monsieur Profession and Madamosel Solid PRofession Dear Mistress you are the only She that is fit to be crown'd the sole Empresse of the World Solid Let me tell you Sir I had rather be a single Shepheardesse than the sole Empress of the World for I would not be a Mistress of so much power to be as a Servant to so much trouble Profession But put the case Alexander were alive and would crown you Empress of the World you would not refuse that honour but accept of it for the sake of renown Solid Yes I should refuse it for if I could not get renown by my own merits I should wish to dye in Oblivion for I care not Nay I despise such honours and renowns as comes by derivations as being deriv'd from another and not inherent in my self and it is a poor and mean renown that is gain'd or got only by receiving a gift from a fellow-creature who gives out of passion appetite partiality vain-glory or fear and not for merit or worthsake wherefore no gifts but those that comes from the Gods or Nature are to be esteem'd or received with thanks but were to be refused had man the power to chose or to deny Profession Sweet Mistress nature hath crown'd you with beauty and wit and the Gods hath given you a noble soul Solid I wish they had for the Gods gifts are not like to mans and natures crown is beyond the golden crown of Art which are greater glories than Power Wealth Title or Birth or all the outward honours gain'd on Earth but I desire the Gods may crown my soul with reason and understanding Heaven crown my mind with Temperance and Fortitude Nature crown my body with Health and Strength time crown my life with comely and discreet age Death crown my separation with peace and rest and Fame crown my memory with an everlasting renown thus may my creation be to a happy end Profession Gods Fortune and Fates hath joyned to make me happy in your love and that which will make me absolutely happy is that I shall marry you and imbrace you as my wife Solid The absolute happiness is when the Gods imbraces man with mercy and kisses him with love Ex. Scene 39. Enter Madamosel Caprisia CApris. Hay ho who can love and be wise but why do I say so For reason loves wisely 't is only the mistaken senses that loves foolishly indeed the sense doth not love but fondly and foolishly affects for it 't is an humoursome and inconstant appetite that proceeds from the body and not that noble passion of true love which proceeds from the soul But O! what a ridiculous humour am I fallen into from a cholerick humour into an amorous humour Oh! I could tear my soul from my body for having such whining thoughts and such a mean submissive croaching feigning flattering humour and idle mind a cholerick humour is noble to this for it is commanding and seems of an heroick spirit but to be amorous is base beastly and of an inconstant nature Oh! How apt is busie life to go amisse What foolish humours in mans mind there is But O! The soul is far beyond the mind As much as man is from the beastly kind Ex. Scene 40. Enter Madamosel Volante and Doctor Freedom DOctor Are you weary of your life that you send me for you said you would not send for me untill you had a desire to dye Volante True Doctor and if you cannot cure me kill me Doctor In my conscience you have sent for me to play the wanton Volante Why Doctor If I do not infringe the rules and laws of modesty or civility I cannot commit wanton faults Doctor Yes faith your tongue may play the wanton Volante Indeed Doctor I had rather tell a wanton truth than a modest lye Doctor Well what is your disease Volante Nay that you must guesse I can only tell my pains Doctor Where is your pain Volante In my heart and head Doctor Those be dangerous parts but after what manner are your pains Volante On my heart there lyes a weight as heavy as the World on Atlas shoulders and from my melancholly mind arises such damps of doubts as almost quenches out the fire of life did not some hope though weak which blows with fainting breath keep it alive or rather puffs than blows which intermitting motions makes my pulse unequal and my bloud to ebbe and flow as from my heart unto my face and from my face unto my heart again as for my head it feels drousie and my spirits are dull my thoughts uneasily doth run crossing and striving to throw each other down this causes broken sleeps and frightfull dreams and when I awake at every noyse I start with fears my limbs doth shake Doctor VVhy this disease is love wherefore I cannot cure you for love no more than wit can neither be temper'd nor yet be rul'd for love and wit keeps neither moderate bounds nor spares diet but dyes most commonly of a surfeit Volante O yes discretion can cure both Doctor Then send for Monsieur Discretion and hear what he sayes to you for your disease is past my skil Volante By your industry
envy and malice will bring against us but consider Sir that when the foot of fame hath trod upon the tongue of envy it will be silent Father Never fear me child if thou faintest not Sansp. I fear not my self for I have an undoubted faith that the Child of such a father can neither be a Coward nor a fool for from you I receive a value or prize although of my self I should be worth nothing and Parents and Children may speak freely their thoughts let them move which way they will for Children ought not to conceal them but if deceit must be used let it be with strangers not friends Father O Child thou hast spoke but what I thought on and the very same I wisht finding thy tongue volable thy voyce tuneable thy speech eloquent thy wit quick thy expressions easy thy conceits and conceptions new thy fancies curious and fine thy Inventions subtle thy dispositions sweet and gentle thy behaviour gracefull thy countenance modest thy person beautifull thy yeares young all this I thought to my self might raise the a Trophy when a Husband would bury the in his armes and so thou to become thy own fames Tomb Sansp. Oh! But how shall we pacify my mother who is resolved not to be quiet until I go to live at the Court as likewise to marry Father I have thought of that and you know that your mother is well bred a tender mother and a chast wife yet she is violent and is not to be altered from her opinions humours and will till time wearyes her out of them wherefore we must not oppose her but rather sooth her in her humour and for marrying we will allwayes find some fault in the man or his Estate person or breeding or his humour or his wit prudence temperance courage or conduct or the like which we may truly do without dissembling for I believe there is no man but that some exceptions may be justly found to speak against him but you and I will sit in Councel about it Ex. Scene 6. Enter the Lord de l' Amour and meets the Lady Innocence LOrd de l' Amour Well met for if accident had not befriended me you would not have been so kind as to have met me for I percieve you strived to shun me Lady Innocence The reason is I was affraid my presence would not be acceptable Lord de l' Amour You never stay to try whether it would or not but surely if your conversation be answerable to your beauty your Company cannot but be pleasing Lady Innocence I doubt I am to young to be hansome for time hath not shapt me yet into a perfect form for nature hath but laid the draught mixt the collours for time to work with which he as yet hath neither placed nor drawn them right so that beauty in me is not as yet fully finished and as my beauty so I doubt my wit is imperfect and the ignorance of youth makes a discord in discourse being not so experiencedly learned nor artificially practised as to speak harmoniously where the want makes my conversation dull with circumspection and fear which makes my wordes flow through my lips like lead heavy and slow Lord de l' Amour Thy wit sounds as thy beauty appears the one charms the eares the other attracts the eyes Lady Innocence You have been more bountifull to me in your praises than Nature in her gifts Lord de l' Amour Since I perceive you to be so pleasing we will be better acquainted Ex. Scene 7. Enter 2. or 3. Philosophers This Scene of the Phylosophers the Lord Marquess writ 1. PHilosopher Come my learned brothers are we come now to hear a girle to read lectures of naturall Philosophy to teach us Are all our studyes come to this 2. Philosopher Her doting father is to blame he should be punished for this great affront to us that 's learned men 3. Philosopher Philosophers should be men of yeares with grave and Auster lookes whose countenances should like rigid lawes affright men from vanityes with long wise beards sprinkled with gray that every hair might teach the bare young Chins for to obey And every sentence to be delivered like the Law in flames and lightning and flashes with great thunder a foolish girle to offer for to read O times O manners 1. Philosopher Beauty and favour and tender years a female which nature hath denyed hair on her Chin so smooth her brow as not to admit one Philosophycall wrinckle and she to teach a Monster t is in Nature since Nature hath denyed that sex that fortitude of brain 2. Philosopher Counsel her father that her mother may instruct her in high huswifry as milking Kyne as making Cheese Churning Butter and raising past and to preserve confectionary and to teach her the use of her needle and to get her a Husband and then to practise naturall Philosophy without a Lecture 3. Philosopher 'T is a prodigious thing a girle to read Philosophy O divine Plato how thy Soul will now be troubled Diogenes repents his Tub and Seneca will burn his bookes in anger And old Aristotle wish he had never been the master of all Schooles now to be taught and by a girle 1. Philosopher Have patience and but hear her and then we shall have matter store to speak and write against her and to pull down her fame indeed her very lecture will disgrace her more than we can write and be revenged thus by her tongue 2. Philosopher Content let us then go and hear her for our sport not being worth our anger Ex. Here ends the Lord Marquess of Newcastle ACT III Scene 8. Enter the Lady Innocence and her Maid MAid By my truth Mistriss the Lord de l' Amour is a fine person Lady Innocence The truth is that he seems as if Nature had given to time the finest and richest stuff in her Shop to make his person off and time as the Tayler hath wrought and shapt his person into the most becoming fashion but yet if his Soul be not answerable to his person he is fine no otherwayes but as a fashionable and gay sute of Cloath on a deformed body the Cloathes may be fine and hansome but the body ill favoured so the body may be hansome but the Soul a foul deformed creature Maid But a fine and hansome body may hide a deformed Soul although a fine sute of Clothes will not hide a deformed body for a deformed body will be perceived in dispight of the fine Clothes Lady Innocence So will a deformed Soul in the dispight of a hansome body for the Soul will appear in the Actions as the body in the shape being as crooked in vice as the body in Limbs Maid What is the actions of the Soul Lady Innocence The passions and will Maid But man obscures the passions and restrains the will Lady Innocence So man may obscure his body and bombast his Cloathes but it is as impossible to restrain an evil
Terrestriall globes which globes are as Man and Wife the Coelestiall as the Husband the Terrestriall as the Wife which breeds and bears what the Coelestiall begets For the Coelestiall and the Terrestriall globes are Natures working houses where Animals Vegetables and Minerals are wrought into several figures shapt and formed into divers fashions like as Smiths makes diverse fashioned things out of mettals so Nature is as the Smith the Earth as the mettal the Sun as the fire the Sea as the quenching water the aire as the Bellows youth is the Furnace time is the Forge and motion is the Hammer both to shape and break assunder but for fear I should break your patience I shall desist from speaking any more at this time After a modest and humble respective bow to the assembly She goeth out The whilst the Audience holds up their hands in admiration 1. Philosopher Now you have heard her what do you say 2. Philosopher I say let us go home and make a funerall pile of our bookes that are Philosophy burn them to Ashes that none may file as Phenix like out of that dust 3. Philosopher No throw them at those foolish men that walk in black who would be thought learned by the outside although they are unlettered 4. Philosopher Take heed of that for so they may have hopes of a resurrection and so rise again in ragged covers and tattered torn sheets in old Duck-lane and quack their to be bought 1. Philosopher No no we will all now send for Barbers and in our great Philosophies despair shave of our reverend beards as excrements which once did make us all esteemed as wife and stuff boyes foot-balls with them 2. Philosopher Nature thou dost us wrong and art too prodigall to the effeminate Sex but I forgive thee for thou art a she dame Nature thou art but never shewed thy malice untill now what shall we do 3. Philosopher Faith all turn gallants spend our time in vanity and sin get Hawks and Hounds and running Horses study the Card and Dye Rich Cloathes and Feathers wast our time away with what this man said or what that man answered backbite and raile at all those that are absent and then renownce it with new Oathes Alamode 4. Philosopher No no honour this Virgin whose wit is supreme whose judgment is Serene as is the Sky whose life is a Law unto her selfe and us virtue her handmaid and her words so sweet like to harmonious musick in the Aire that charms our Senses and delights the Soul and turns all passions in our hearts to love teaches the aged and instructs the youth no Sophister but Mistriss still of truth Ex. Here ends my Lord Marquisses Scene 10. Enter the Lord de l'Amour and the Lady Innocence LOrd de l'Amour I begin to be so fond of your Company as I cannot be long absent therefrom Lady Innocence 'T is your favours to me which favours are above my merits indeed I have no merits but what your favour creates Lord de l'Amour You seem so virtuous and sweetly dispositioned and are so beautifull and witty as I cannot but admire and love you Lady Innocence I dare not be so rude not yet so ungratefull to speak against my selfe now you have praised me for your words are like to Kings which makes all currant coyn they set their stamp on although the substance should be mean and of no value Lord de l'Amour Thy words are Musicall Lady Innocence I wish I could speak as eloquently upon every subject as several birds sings sweety in several Tunes to please you Lord de l'Amour Do you love me so well as to wish it onely for my sake Lady Innocence Yes and how should I do otherwise for my affections to you was ingrafted into the root of my infancy by my Fathers instructions and perswasions which hath grown up with my Age The Lady Incontinent peeps in and sees them together speaks to her selfe in the mean time they seem to whisper Lady Incontinent Are you both so serious in discourse I will break your friendship or I will fall to the grave of death in the attempt Lady Incontinent goes out Lord de l'Amour Heaven make you as virtuous as loving and I shall be happy in a Wife Lord de l'Amour goes out Lady Innocence alone Lady Innocence Heaven make him as constant as I virtuous and I shall be sure of a gallant man to my Husband Ex. ACT IV. Scene 11. Enter the Lady Sanspareille and takes her place her Father and her Audience about her being all Morall Philosophers When she had done her respects speaks SAnsp. By my fathers relation to me I understand that all this worthy Assembly are students in morality wherefore I shall treat this time of passions wherein I make no question being all sage that you have not only learnt to distinguish them but have practiced how to temper and govern them but perchance you will say to your selves what need she speak of that which have been so often treated of only to make repetitions of former Authors but you all know without my telling you that new applications may be made on often preached Texts and new arguments may be drawn from old principles and new experiences may be learnt from former follies but howsoever my discourse shall not be very long least tedious impertinencies should make it unpleasant to your eares cause too great a loss of time to your better imployments but my discourse is as I said on the passions which I will first divide as the Ancient Philosophers into two love and hate First I will treat of pure love which is self-love for love to all other things is but the effects thereof And is derived therefrom self-love is the sole passion of the Soul it is a passion pure in it self being unmixt although all other passions do attend it this passion called self-love is the legitimated Child of Nature being bred in infinite and born in eternity yet this passion of self-love being the Mother of all other love is oftentimes mistaken for a fond or a facile disposition bred from a weak constitution of the body or a strong or rather exstravagant appetite of the Senses or from a gross constitution or evill habit or custome of life or an ill example of breeding but these Childish humours facile and easy dispositions foolish and earnest desires gross and greedy appetites Inconstant and evill Natures these are not pure love as the effects of self-love for it doth it self hurt but they are the effects of the body and nor of the Soul for some of them proceeds from a gross strength of body hot and active spirits others from a tenderness and weakness of body and faint spirits but the true passions of love which is self-love but mistake me not for when I say self-love 〈…〉 as is appertaining thereto as love of honour love of virtue humane love naturall love pious love Sympatheticall love which are the
Chapter conteins more than half the book The Last Chapter is remembrance which is also a very long Chapter and the variety of thoughts are the several letters in which these Chapters are writ but they are not all writ after one kind of writing neither are they writ with one and the same language For knowledge is writ in great and plain letters memory and understanding in finer and smaller letters Conceptions and Imaginations after the manner of way as like Hierogyphiks Remembrance is writ as after the like way of Characters Knowledge is writ in the Originall Language as we may liken to Hebrew Memory and Understanding are writ in a language derived therefrom Conception and Imagination are written in heathen Greek Remembrance is writ in a mixt or compounded language like as English but yet it is most like that we call old English But the most profitablest School is consideration And the best Tutour is reason and when the mind is distempered or obstructed with Ignorance education is the best Physick which purges it cleanses and freeth it from all gross and foul and filthy Errours but the Educatours which are the Physitians should be well chosen for the plain truth is that youth should be taught by those that are grave and sage that they may learn experience by the Second hand otherwayes Age only knows but hath no time to practise in but if that youth be taught good principles their life growes high by Noble deeds and broadly spreads with Honours but when that youth have liberty to sport and play casting their learning time away they grow like poisonous plants or weeds which makes their life swell big with venomous passions and dispositions and burst with evil deed but youth their understanding is like their years and bodyes little and weak for the Soul is improved by the Senses but Educatours their Physicians presents to their Senses the most wholesom and nurishing meat for as the body is nurished and grows strong by good disgestion so doth the Soul gain knowledge by information but if the food be unwholesom or more than the Stomach be able to digest or that the body is not fed sufficiently the body becomes lean weak saint and sick so the Soul or mind If the senses be imperfect or the objects more than can be well disenst or too many for the temper of the brain or that the brain be too cold or to hot then the Soul or mind like the body decayes for like as the bodily senses so the senses of the Soul decayes for the understanding as the Spirits grows saint the judgment as the liver wan and weak the memory as the eyes grows dim and blind the thoughts as the several limbs grows feeble and lazy but some remedy is for those diseases for the speculative notes helpes the dull memory cordiall learning the faint understanding purging and opening experience the wan and obstructed judgment and necessity exercises the lazy thoughts but if the brain be defective or the Soul imperfect from the birth there is no remedy for then the reason proves a dwarf and the understanding a fool but if the Soul be perfect and the brain well tempered then the Soul is like the serene and azure Sky wherein reason as the Sun gives light to all the Animal World where the thoughts as several Creatures lives therein some being bred in the deep and restless Ocean of Imagination others as from the fixt Earth of knowledge springs and as the Gods governs the World and the Creatures therein so the Soul should govern the body and the Appetites thereof which governing is to govern still to the best As for the continuance of the World so for the prolonging of the life of the body which government I wish to the Soul of every young Student here In the next place I shall speak to Oratours whose study and practice is language and language although it is not born with man yet it is bred with man or in man either by their education or their own Invention for if language had a beginning it was invented by the Creature if no beginning it was taught them by the Gods for though that Nature made such Organs as was proper to express language with yet it seems as if she did not Creat language as a principal work but if she did then Oratours tongues are Natures Musicall instruments but the best Musicall Instruments were better to lye unplaid with than to sound out of Tune or to strike jarring discord which displeaseth more than the harmony can delight so likewise it were better not to speak than to speak to no purpose or to an evill design but Oratory or Rhetorick is as all other Musick is which lives more in sound than in substance it charms the eare but it cannot inchant the reason it may enslave the passions but not conquer the understanding it may obstruct truth and abuse virtue but it can neither destroy the one nor corrupt the other it can flatter up hopes and raise up doubts but it cannot delude experience it can make factions and raise tumults but seldome rectify disorders for it is to be observed that in those States or Nations where Oratory and Rhetorick flourisheth most the Common-wealth is for the most part distempered and Justice looses her seat and many times the State looses its former Government Customs and Lawes witness the Romans Athens and Lacedemonians and others that were ruined by their flourishing Rhetorick and factious Oratory but it is thought that the flowers of Rhetorick is much vaded since the time of the Athens through the whole World and that the lively Cullours are quite lost if it be so then surely the deffect is much in the first education of Children for in Infancy is a time these should take a good print but their Nurses is their Grammar and her tongue is their first Tutour which most commonly learns them the worst part of Speech which parts are Eight as impertinent questions cross answers broken relations false reports rude speeches mistaking words misplaccing words new words of their own making without a signification Wherefore parents that would bring up their Children elegantly and eloquently they must have a learned Grammar and a wise Tutour at the first to teach them for the mouth as the Press Prints the breath as the paper with words as the Ink and reason and sense bindes them up into a book or vollume of discourses but certainly the Oratours of this Age for eloquence and elegancy comes not short of the eloquent Oratours of Athens or any other State they only use it to better designs than to make Warrs on their Neighbours to banish their Citizens or those that ought to be rewarded to alter their Government and ruine their state no worthy Oratours you use your eloquence for peace love and unity and not for faction War and ruine for which may the Gods of eloquence assist you But there is two sorts of Oratours the one
shades to find thee out O! O death quick dispatch Let me unprisoned be my body is old decayed and worn times ruins shews it Oh! Oh! let life fall for pitty pull it down stops a time Am I not dead you cruel powers above to lengthen out an old mans life in misery and pain why did not Time put out the sight of both my eyes and also deaf my ears that I might neither hear nor see the death of my lifes joy O Luxurious Death how greedily thou feedst on youth and beauty and leist old Age hang withering on lifes tree O shake me off let me no longer grow if not grief shall by force snip off my tender stalk and pitty lay me in the silent grave Heark Heark I hear her call me I come I come Childe He feches a great sigh O no she is gone she is gone I saw her dead her head hung down like as a Lilly whose stalk was broke by some rude blusterous wind He stares about There there I see her on her dutious knee Her humble eyes cast to the ground Her spotlesse hands held up for blessings crave asking forgivenesse for faults not done O no She is dead She is dead I saw her eye-lids cloze like watry Clouds which joyn to shut out the bright Sun and felt her hands which Death made cold and numb like as to Cristal balls She is gone she is gone and restless grows my mind thoughts strive with thoughts struggle in my brain passions with passions in my heart make War My Spirits run like furies all about Help help for Heavens sake and let life out Ex. Scene 15. Enter the Lady Mother Love alone LAdy Mother Love O my daughter my daughter is dead she is dead Oh that ever I was born to bear a Childe to dye before me Oh she was the Comfort of my Heart the pleasure of my Eyes the delight of my life Oh she was Good she was Sweet she was Fair O what shall I do what shall I do Ex. Scene 16. Enter Sir Thomas Father Love half distracted SIr Thomas Father Love Mercury lend me thy winged feet that I may fly to Heaven there to observe how all the Gods and Godesses doe gaze upon my Beautiful Childe for she is fairer than the light that great Apollo gives and her discourse more ravishing than the Musick of the Spheres but as soon as she sees me she will leave them all and run unto me as she used to do kneeling will kiss my hands which she must not do being a Goddess and I a Mortal wherefore I must kneel to her and carry her an offering but what shall the offering be Let me think Why I will kneel and offer up my Aged life unto her Memory but now I think of it better I cannot dye in Heaven wherefore let me Study let me Study what she did love best when she lived upon the Earth O I now remember when I did ask her what she lov'd best she would Answer her Father and her Fame but I believe if she were here it would be a hard Question for her to resolve which she preferr'd and being not to be separated in Affection we will not part in our Resurrection wherefore Mercury farewel for I will fly up with the Wings of her good Fame And carry up her Wit and there will strow It on Heavens floor as bright as Stars will show Her Innocency shall make new Milky waies Her Virtue shall Create new Worlds to praise Her never-dying Name Ha Ho! It shall be so it shall be so Ex. ACT IV. Scene 17. Enter the Lady Innocence alone studious with her eyes to the ground thou casting them up speaks LAdy Innocence I am not so much in love with the World as to desire to live nor have I offended Heaven so much as to be afraid to dye then way should I prolong my life when Honour bids me dye for what Noble Soul had not rather part with the Body than live in Infamy Then t is not Death that affrights me and yet I find my Soul is loath to leave its bodily Mansion but O to be buried in Oblivions grave is all I fear no Monumental Fame nor famous Monument my Soul displeases that makes it loath to leave the body in forgotten dust whilst it doth sadly wander in the Aire She walks a turn or two as in a musing thought then speaks Soul be at ease for the Memory of the dead is but like a dying Beauty vades by degrees or like a Flower whither'd hath neither Sent Colour nor Tast but moulders into dust so hath the mind no form of what is past But like as formless heaps those Objects lye And are intomb'd in the dark Memory O Foolish Vanity to be so much a slave to Fame since those that Fame doth love the best and favoureth most are not Eternal Wherefore Nature perswades me to release my woe Though foolish Superstition Natures foe Forbids it yet Reason aloud sayes dye Since Ease Peace Rest doth in the grave still lye Walkes about as in a silent musing then speaks I am resolv'd then Come sweet Death thou friend that never fails give me my liberty But stay my hasty resolution for I would not willingly go to the grave as beasts doe without Ceremony for I being friendless those humane Funeral rites will be neglected none will take the pains nor be at the charge to see them perform'd but some base vulgar person will throw me into the Earth without respect or regard wherefore I will Living perform the Ceremonies and as a guess or friend be at my own Funeral it shall be so and I will prepare it Ex. Scene 18. Enter Sir Thomas Father Love alone and for a time walkes as in a musing or thinking with his eyes cast on the ground then speaks FAther Love Multitudes of Melancholy thoughts croud in my brain And run to pull down Reason from his Throne Fury as Captain leads the way Patience and Hope is trod upon O these distracted thoughts burrie my Soul about Seeking a place to get a passage out But all the Ports are stopp'd O Cursed Death for to prolong a life that is so weary of its Mansion Enter Mr. Comfort Sir Thomas Father Loves friend Friend Sir will you give order for your Daughters Funeral and direct how you will have her interred Father Love How say you why I will have you rip my body open and make it as a Coffin to lay her in then heave us gently on sighs fetcht deep and lay us on a Herse of sorrowful groans then cover us with a Dark Black Pitchy Spungy Cloud made of thick Vapour drawn from bleeding hearts from whence may tears of showers run powring down making a Sea to drown remembrance in But O remembrance is a fury grown Torments my Soul now she is gone Friend Sir where there is no remedy you must have patience Father Love Patience out upon her she is an Idle lazy Gossip and keep
several way Also her life was like a Monarchy where Reason as sole King did govern al her actions which actions like as Loyal Subjects did obey those Laws which Reason decreed Also her life was like Ioves Mansions high as being placed above this worldly Globe from whence her Soul looked down on duller earth mixt not but viewed poor mortals here below thus was her life above the world because her life prized not the Trifles here Perchance this Noble Company will think I have said too much and vainly thus to speak That Fathers should not praise their Children so Because that from their Root and Stock did grow Why may not Roots boast if their Fruites be good As hindering worth in their own Flesh and blood Shall they dissemble to say they are naught Because they are their own sure that 's a fault Unpardonable as being a lye that 's told Detracting lyes the baser lyes I hold Neither can strangers tell their life and worth Nor such affections have to set them forth As Parents have or those that 's neer of Kin Virtuous Partiality sure that 's no sin And virtue though she be lovliest when undrest Yet she is pleas'd when well she is exprest But Oh! my words have spent my stock of breath And Life 's commanded forth by powerful Death When I am dead this company I pray The last rites done me by my daughter lay And as her soul did with the Muses flye To imitate her in her a verse I dye He falls back in his Chair and is dead Mr. Comfort Noble Friends you heard his request which was to be buryed in his daughters grave and whilst you show your charity in laying the Corps of his daughter in the grave I will carry out his body and put it into a Coffin and then lay him in the same grave The Company said Do so Goes out with the body The whilst the Virgins take up the Lady Sanspareiles Herse and whilst they are putting it into the grave this Song following was sung Tender Virgins as your Birth Put her gently in the earth What of Moral or Divine Here is lapt up in this shrine Rhetorick dumb Philosophy Both those arts with her did dye And grieved Poets cannot choose But lament for her their Muse When she was putting into the Grave this Song following was sung Her Tomb her Monument her Name Beyond an Epitaph her Fame Death be not proud imbracing more Now than in all thy reign before Boasting thy Triumphs since thou must But justly glory in her dust Let thy Dart rust and lay it by For after her none 's sit to dye After this her Peal is Rung on Lutes by Musicians And the Company goes out Scene 23. A Tomb is thrust on the Stage then the Lord de l'Amour enters LOrd de l'Amour Now I am free no hinderance to my own Tragedy He goeth to the Tomb This Tomb her sacred Body doth contain He draws his Sword then he kneels down by the Tomb and then prayes Dear Soul pardon my crimes to thee they were crimes of ignorance not malice Sweet gentle Spirits flye me not but stay And let my Spirits walk thy Spirits way You lov'd me once your Love in death renew And may our soules be as two Lovers true Our Blood 's the Bonds our wounds the Seals to Print Our new Contract and Death a witnesse in 't He takes his Sword Had I as many lives as Poors in skin He sacrifize them for my ignorant sin As he speaks he falls upon his Sword Enter his Friend Master Charity He seeing him lye all in blood almost dead runs to him and heaves him up Friend I did fear this which made me follow him but I am come too late to save his life O my Lord speak if you can Lord de l'Amour Friend lay me in this Tomb by my affianced Wife for though I did not usher her to the grave I will wait after her Dyes EPILOGUE Noble Spectators now you have seen this Play And heard it speak let 's hear what now you say But various judgements various sentences give Yet we do hope you 'l sentence it may live But not in Prison be condemn'd to lye Nor whipt with censure rather let it dye Here on this Stage and see the Funeral Rites Which is to put out all the Candle lights And in the grave of darknesse let it rest In peace and quiet and not molest The harmlesse soul which hopes Mercury may Unto the Elizium fields it safe convey But if you sentence life the Muses will Attend it up unto Parnassus Hill If so pray let your hands here in this place Clap it as an applause the triumph grace FINIS These Verses the Lord Marquesse writ This Song the Lord Marquesse writ This Song was writ by the Lord Marquesse This Song was writ by the Lord Marquesse of New-castle The first Part of the Lady Contemplation The Actors Names Lord Title Lord Courtship Sir Experience Traveller Sir Fancy Poet Sir Golden Riches Sir Effeminate Lovely Sir Vain Complement Sir Humphrey Interruption Mr. Adviser Doctor Practise and other Gentlemen Tom Purveyer Roger Farmer Old Humanity Servants and others The Lady Contemplation The Lady Conversation The Lady Visitant The Lady Ward The Lady Virtue Lady Amorous Mrs. Troublesome Mrs. Governesse the Lady Virtues Attendant Nurse Careful Nurse to Lady Ward Maudlin Huswife Roger Farmers wife Mall Mean-bred the daughter Nan Scape-all Maid to the Lady Virtue The first Part of the Lady Contemplation ACT I. Scene 1. Enter the Lady Contemplation and the Lady Visitant VIsitant What Lady Contemplation musing by your self alone Contemplation Lady Visitant I would you had been ten miles off rather than to have broken my Contemplation Visitant Why are you so godly to be so serious at your Devotion Contemplation No faith they were Contemplations that pleas'd me better than Devotion could have done for those that contemplate of Heaven must have death in their mind Visitant O no for there is no Death in Heaven to disturb the joyes thereof Contemp. But we must dye before we come to receive those joyes and the terrifying thoughts of Death take away the pleasing thoughts of Heaven Visitant Prethee let me know those pleasing thoughts Contemplation I did imagine my self such a Beauty as Nature never made the like both for Person Favour and Colour and a Wit answerable to my Beauty and my Breeding and Behaviour answerable to both my Wisdome excelling all And if I were not thus as I say yet that every one should think I were so for opinion creates more and perfecter Beauties than Nature doth And then that a great powerful Monarch such a one as Alexander or Caesar fell desperately in love with me seeing but my Picture which was sent all about the world yet my Picture I did imagine was to my disadvantage not flattering me any wayes yet this Prince to be inamoured with this shadow for the substance sake Then Love perswaded
a servant to my Mr. and Mrs. I must be dutiful and careful to their commands and on their employments they have put to me wherefore I must leave you Sir and go fold my sheep Lord Title I will help you Exeunt Scene 24 Enter Sir Golden Riches and Mall Mean-bred GOlden Rich. Sweet-heart I have no Sonnets This Scene was written by my Lord Marquiss of Newcastle Songs or stronger Lines with softer Poesie to melt your Soul nor Rhetorick to charm your Eares or Logick for to force or ravish you nor lap 't in richer cloaths embalm'd in Sweets nor Courtly Language but am an Ancient Squire by name Sir Golden Riches which hath force in all things and then in Love for Cupid being blinde he is for feeling and look here my Wench this purse is stuff'd with Gold a hundred pounds Mall Mean-bred Let me see poure it on the ground Gold Rich. I will obey thee Look here my Girl He poures it on the ground Mall Mean-bred O dear how it doth shine forsooth it almost blinds mine eyes take it away yet pray let it stay truly I know not what to do with it Gold Rich. No why it will buy you rich Gowns ap'd in the Silk-worms toyls with stockings of the softer silk to draw on your finer legs with rich lace shooes with roses that seem sweet and garters laced with spangles like twinckling Stars embalm your hair with Gessimond Pomaetums and rain Odoriferous Powders of proud Rome Mall Mean-bred O Heaven what a Wench shall I be could I get them But shall we have fine things of the Pedlar too Gold Rich. Buy all their packs and send them empty home Mall Mean-bred O mighty I shall put down all the Wenches at the May-pole then what will the Bag-piper say do you think Pray tell me for he is a jeering knave Gold Rich. Despise the Rural company and that windy bag change it for Balls with greatest Lords to dance and bring the Jerkin Fiddles out of frame Mall Mean-bred Then I shall have a Mail-Pillion and ride behind our Thomas to the dancing Gold Rich. No you shall ride in rich gilt Coaches Pages and Lacquies in rich Liveries with Gentlemen well cloath'd to wait upon you Mall Mean-bred And be a Lady then I will be proud and will not know Thomas any more nor any Maid that was acquainted with me Gold Rich. You must forget all those of your Fathers house too for I 'll get a Pedigree shall fit you and bring you Lineally descended from Great Charlemain Mall Mean-bred No I will have it from Charls wayn my Fathers Carter but I would so fain be a Lady and it might be I will be stately laugh without a cause and then I am witty and jeer sometimes and speak nonsense aloud But this Gold will not serve for all these fine things Gold Rich. Why then we will have hundreds and thousands of pounds until you be pleas'd so I may but enjoy you in my Arms Mall Mean-bred No Maid alive can hold our these Assaults Gold is the Petarr that breaks the Virgins gates a Souldier told me so VVell then my Lord Title farewel for you are an empty name and Sir Effeminate Lovely go you to your Taylor make more fine cloaths in vain I 'll stick to Riches do then what you will The neerest way to pleasure buy it still Exeunt Scene 25. Enter the Lady Ward alone LAdy Ward Why should Lord Courtship dislike me Time hath not plowed wrinkles in my face nor digged hollows in my cheeks nor hath he set mine eyes deep in my head nor shrunk my sinews up nor suck'd my veins dry nor fed upon my flesh making my body insipid and bate neither hath he quenched out my wit nor decay'd my memory nor ruin'd my understanding but perchance Lord Courtship likes nothing but what is in perfection and I am like a house which Time hath not fully finished nor Education throughly furnished Scene 26. Enter Poor Virtue and Sir Golden Riches meets her comming from Mall Mean-bred Golden Riches Sweet-heart refuse not Riches it will buy thee friends pacifie thy enemies it will guard thee from those dangers that throng upon the life of every creature Poor Virtue Heavenly Providence is the Marshal which makes way for the life to pass through the croud of dangers and my Vertue will gain me honest friends which will never forsake me and my humble submission will pacifie my enemies were they never so cruel Gold Rich. But Riches will give thee delight and place thee in the midst of pleasures Poor Virtue No it is a peaceable habitation a quiet and sound sleep and a healthful body that gives delight and pleasure and 't is not riches but riches many times destroy the life of the body or the reason in the soul or at least bring infirmities thereto through luxury for luxury slackens the Nerves quenches the Spirits and drowns the Brain and slackned Nerves make weak Bodies quenched Spirits timorous Minds a drowned Brain a watry Understanding which causeth Sloth Effeminacy and Simplicity Gold Rich. How come you to know so much of the world and yet know so few passages in it living obscurely in a Farmers house Poor Virtue The Astronomers can measure the distance of the Planets and take the compass of the Globe yet never travel to them nor have they Embassadors from them nor Liegers to lie therein to give Intelligence Gold Rich. How come you to be so learnedly judicious being so young poor and meanly born and bred Poor Virtue Why Fire Air Water and Earth Animals Vegetables and Minerals are Volumes large enough to express Nature and make a Scholar learn to know the course of her works and to understand many effects produced therefrom And as for Judgment and Wit they are brother and sister and although they do not alwayes and at all times agree yet are they alwayes the children of the Brain being begot by Nature Thus what Wit or Knowledge I have may come immediatly from Nature not from my Birth or Breeding but howsoever I am not what I seem Exeunt Scene 27. Enter the Lady Contemplation and the Lady Visitant Visitant What makes you look so sad Contempl. Why Monsieur Amorous's visit hath been the cause of the death of one of the finest Gentlemen of this Age Visitant How pray Contempl. Why thus my Imagination for Imagination can Create both Masculine and Feminine Lovers had Created a Gentleman that was handsomer and more beautiful than Leander Adonis or Narcissus valianter than Tamberlain Scanderbeg Hannibal Caesar or Alexander sweeter-natur'd than Titus the delight of mankinde better-spoken and more eloquent than Tully or Demosthenes wittyer than Ovid and a better Poet than Homer This man to fall desperately in love with me as loving my Vertues honouring my Merits admiring my Beauty wondring at my Wit doting on my Person adoring me as an Angel worshipping me as a Goddess I was his Life his Soul his Heaven This Lover courted
will be very industrious if you please to set me to work Enter Maudlin Huswife her Mother she falls a beating her Maudlin You idle slut do you stand loytering here when it is more than time the Cows were milk'd Mall Mean-bred flings away her milking-pail Mall Mean-bred Go milk them your self with a murrain since you are so light-finger'd Maudlin I will milk your sides first The Mother goeth to beat her again Mall Mean-bred her daughter runs away from her mother she follows her running to catch her Master Inqui. I marry Sir this is right as a Farmers daughter should be but in my Conscience the other Maid that was here before her is a bastard begot by some Gentleman Exeunt Scene 14. Enter Sir John Argument and the Lady Conversation LAdy Conversa. Let me tell you Sir Iohn Argument Love delivers up the whole Soul to the thing beloved and the truth is none but one soul can love another Argum. But Justice Madam must be the rule of Love wherefore those souls which Love must give the bodies leave to joyn Conversat. O no pure souls may converse without gross bodies Argument Were it not for the Senses Madam souls could have no acquaintance and without an acquaintance there can be no reciprocal affection and will you make the Senses which are the souls chief confidence to be strangers or enemies Conversat. I would have them converse but not interrupt Argum. The bodies must have mutual friendship and correspondency with each other or otherwise they may dissemble or betray the souls or abuse the trust loose appetites or wandring senses or contrary humours and what can interrupt Love more than the disagreement of bodies Conversat. The Senses and Appetites of the Body are but as subject to the Soul Argument But 't is impossible for Forein Princes as I will compare two loving souls unto can live in peace and mutual amity if their subjects disagree Enter Mistris Troublesome Conversat. O Mistris Troublesome you are welcome for you shall end the dispute between Sir Iohn Argument and I Troublesome If you cannot decide the Dispute your selves I shall never do it But what is the Dispute Madam Conversat. Whether there can be a perfect friendship of Souls without a reciprocal and mutual conversation and conjunctions of Bodies Troublesome Faith Madam I think it would be a very faint friendship betwixt the Souls without the Bodies Conversat. I perceive Sir Iohn Argument and you would never make Platonick Lovers Troublesome Faith Madam I think Platonick is a word without sense Argument You say right Mistris Troublesome it is an insensible love Conversat. It is the Soul of Love Troublesome What 's that Madam a Ghost or Spirit Conversat. Indeed it hath no material body Argument No for it is an incorporal thing Troublesome What is an incorporal thing Sir Iohn Argument Why nothing Troublesome Pray leave this discourse or else you will talk nonsense Argument That 's usual in Conversation Conversat. Setting aside this discourse at Mistris Troublesomes request Pray tell me how the Lady Contemplation doth Troublesome Faith Madam by the course of her life one might think she were an incorporal thing Conversat. Why Troublesome Because she makes but little use of her Body living always within her Minde Conversat. Then her Body stands but as a Cypher amongst the Figures of her thoughts Troublesome Just so by my Troth Conversat. Pray bring me acquainted with the Lady Contemplation Troublesome If it be possible I will but the Lady Visitant can do it better than I Conversat. I am resolv'd I will visit her Exeunt Scene 15. Enter the Lord Courtship and the Lady Ward LOrd Courtship What is your passion over Lady Ward My passion will strive to maintain my honour and you may take my life but as long as I live my passion will fight in the quarrel But what man of honour will make a Bawd of her he intends to make his Wife and what man of honour will be cruel to those that are weak helplesse and shiftlesse and what man of honour will be uncivil to the meanest of our Sex It is more noble to flatter us than to quarrel with us but that I have heard you are valiant I should think you were a base coward and such a one that would quarrel in a Brothel-house rather than fight in a Battel But I perceive you are one that loves Pleasure more than Honour and Life more than Fame and I hate to be in that mans company or to make a Husband whose courage lies in Voluptousness and his life in Infamy I will sooner marry Death than such a man The Lady Ward goes out Lord Courtship alone Lord Courts Her words have shot through my soul and have made a sensible wound therein How wisely she did speak how beautiful appear'd Her minde is full of honour and the actions of her life are built upon noble principles so young so wise so fair so chaste and I to use her so basely as I have done O how I hate my self for doing so unworthily Exit Scene 16. Enter Sir Effeminate Lovely and Poor Virtue EFfemin. Lovely The more ground is troden on the easier the path to walk in Poor Virtue It seems so that you visit me so often Effem. Lovely Why thou art such sweet company and behav'st thy self so prettily as I cannot choose but visit thee Poor Virtue I would if I could behave my self so to the world as my indiscretion might not defame me Effem. Lovely Why do you think of a Fame Poor Virtue VVhy not since fame many times arises from poor Cottages as well as from great Palaces witness the Country labouring-man that was taken from the plough and made an Emperour as being thought sittest to rule both for Justice and VVisedome and he was more famous than those that were born of an Heroick Line and were of Royal dignity and David a shepherd became a King 'T is Merit that deserves a fame not Birth and sometimes Merit hath its desert though but seldome Effem. Lovely Thy discourse would tempt any man Poor Virtue Mistake not my discourse it hath no such devilish design for to tempt is to pervert 'T is true my Nature takes delight to delight and please others and not to crosse or displease any yet not to tempt or to delude with counterfeit demeanors or fair insinuating words smooth speech or oiled tongue to draw from Virtues side but to perswade and plead in Virtues cause Effem. Lovely Thy very looks would gain a cause before thy tongue could plead Poor Virtue Alas mans countenance is like the Sea which ebbs and flows as passion moves the minde Effem. Lovely I am sure Love moves my minde and makes it in a fiery heat Poor Virtue If it be noble Love it is like the Sun which runs about to give both light and heat to all the world that else would sit in darknesse and be both cold and steril so doth a noble minde run with industry to
pure Gold and Innocency as Marble white and Constancy as undissolving Diamonds and Modesty as Rubies red Love shall the Altar be and Piety as Incense sweet ascend to Heaven Truth as the Oil shall feed the Lamp of Memory whereby the flame of Fame shall never goe out Exit Sir Golden Riches alone Sir Gold Rich. And is She gone are Riches of no force Then I wil bury my self within the bowels of the Earth so deep that men shall never reach me nor Light shall find me out Exit Scene 22. Enter Mistris Messenger and the Lady Amorous's woman and Lord Courtship MIstris Messenger My Lord my Lady the Lady Amourous remembers her Service to you and sent me to tell you her Husband is gone out of Town and She desires to have the happiness of your company Lord Courtship Pray present my Service in the humblest manner to your Lady and pray her to excuse me for though I cannot say I am sick yet I am far from being well Mistris Messen. I shall my Lord Exeunt Scene 23. Enter the Lord Title and then enters a Servant to him SErvant My Lord there is an old man without desires to speak with you Lord Title Direct him hither Servant goes out Enter Old Humanity Lord Title Old man what have you to say to me Old Humanity I am come to desire your Lordship not to persecute a poor young Maid one that is friendless and your Lordship is powerful and therefore dangerous Lord Title What poor Maid do you mean Old Human. A Maid call'd Poor Virtue Lord Title Do you know her Old Human. Yes Lord Title Are you her Father Old Human. No I am her servant and have been maintain'd by her Noble Family these threescore years and upwards Lord Title Ha her Noble Family what or who is She Old Humanity She is a Lady born from a Noble Stock and hath been choisely bred but ruin'd by misfortunes which makes her poorly serve Lord Title Alas he weeps Who were her Parents Old Human. The Lord Morality and the Lady Piety Lord Title Sure it cannot be But why should I doubt her Beauty Wit and sweet Demeanour declares her Noble Pedigree The Lord Morality was a Famous man and was a great Commander and wise in making Lawes and prudent for the Common Good He was a Staff and Prop unto the Common-wealth til Civil Wars did throw it down where he fell under it But honest friend how shall I know this for a truth Old Human. Did not your Lordship hear he had a Child Lord Title Yes that I did an only Daughter Old Human. This is She I mention and if Times mend will have her Fathers Estate as being her Fathers Heir but to prove it and her Birth I will bring all those servants that liv'd with her and with her Father and all his Tenants that will witness the truth Lord Title When I consider and bring her and her Actions to my minde I cannot doubt the truth and for the news thou shalt be my Adopted Father and my Bosome-friend I 'll be a staff for thy Old Age to lean upon my shoulders shall give strength unto thy feeble limbs and on my neck shalt lay thy restless head Old Human. Heaven bless you and I shall serve you as my Old Age will give me leave Exit Lord Title leading him forth Scene 24. Enter Lord Courtship and the Lady VVard LOrd Courts Thou Celestial Creature do not believe that I am so presumptuous to ask thy love I only beg thy pardon that when my body lies in the silent grave you give my restless soul a pass and leave to walk amongst sad Lovers in dark and gloomy shades and though I cannot weep to shew my penitence yet I can bleed He offers her a Dagger Here take this Instrument of Death for only by your hands I wish to die Give me as many Wounds as Pores in skin That I may bleed sufficient for my sin Lady VVard It seems strange to me that you a wise man or at least accounted so should fall into such extreams as one while to hate me to death and now to profess to love me beyond life Lord Courts My Debaucheries blinded my Judgment nor did I know thy worth or my own errour until thy wise wit gave the light to my dark understanding and you have drawn my bad life and all my unworthy actions therein so naturally in your discourse as now I view them I do hate my self as much as you have cause to hate me Lady VVard I only hate your Crimes but for those excellent Qualities and true Virtues that dwell in your Soul I love and honour and if you think me worthy to make me your Wife and will love me according as my honest life will deserve your affections I shall be proud of the Honour and thank Fortune or Heaven for the Gift Lord Courts Sure you cannot love me and the World would condemn you if you should and all your Sex will hate you Lady VVard The World many times condemns even Justice her self and women for the most part hate that they should love and honour Lord Courts But can you love me Lady VVard I can and do love you Lord Courts How happy am I to enjoy a world of Beauty Wit Virtue and sweet Graces Leads her forth Exeunt Scen. 25. Enter the Lord Title and Roger Farmer and Maudlin Huswife his Wife LOrd Title Honest Roger and Maudlin I present you with a kind Good-morrow Roger Present me Bless your Lordship I should present you with a couple of Capons Lord Title 'T is a salutation when you salute but how do you then Roger Very well I thank your Honour How do you Lord Title Well enough of Complements I am come with a Petition to you Roger What is that is 't please your Honour Lord Title A Sute Roger Byrlaken I have need of one for I have but poor and bare cloathing on Lord Title No Roger it is a request and desire I have you should grant Roger Grant or to Farm let no Sir I will not part with my Lease Lord Title Roger you understand me not therefore let me speak with Maudlin your Wife Roger There she is Sir spare her not for she is good metal I 'll warrant your Honour wipe your lips Maudlin and answer him every time that he moves thee and give him as good as he brings Maudlin were he twenty Lords hold up your head Maudlin be not hollow Maudlin I 'll warrant you Husband I 'll satisfie him Lord Title Honest Maudlin Maudlin That 's more than your Lordship knows Lord Title Why then Maudlin Maudlin That 's my name indeed Lord Title You have a maid here in your house Maudlin I hope so forsooth but I will not answer for no Virgin in this wicked world Roger Well said Maudlin Nay your Honour will get nothing of my Maudlin I 'll warrant you Lord Title Well this supposed Maid is Poor Virtue that 's her name
Courts It is beyond the power of Iove to please the various humours of Woman-kind Exit Scene 29. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEntleman There was never so many Noble Persons Married in one day in one City I think before those that are to Marry to morrow 2 Gentlem. Who are they 1 Gentlem. Why do you not hear 2 Gentlem. No 1 Gentlem. Surely you have been either dead or deaf 2 Gentlem. I have been in the Country 1 Gentlem. That is some reason indeed but the Newes of the City uses to travel in Letters on Post-horses into the Country 2 Gentlem. No faith for the most part they come in slow Waggons but tell me who those are that are to be Maried to morrow 1 Gentlem. Why first there is the Lord Title and the Lady Virtue Secondly the Lord Courtship and the Lady VVard Thirdly there is Sir Famit Poet and the Lady Contemplation Fourthly the Lady Conversation and Sir Experienc'd Traveller And fifthly the Lady Visitant and Sir Humphry Interruption 2 Gentlem. I will do my endeavour to see them all for I will go to each Bridal House 1 Gentlem. How will you do so being all maried on a day 2 Gentlem. Why I will bid Good-morrow to the one and I will goe to Church with another and dine with the third and dance the afternoon with the fourth and see the fifth a bed 1 Gentlem. That you may do Exeunt Scene 30. Enter Mistris Troublesome and her Maid MIstris Troubles Lord there are so many Weddings to be to morrow as I know not which to go to Besides I shall displease those I go not to being invited to them all Maid If you would displease neither of them you must feign your self sick and go to none of them Mistris Troubles None of them say you that would be a cause to make me die for I would not but be a guest to one of them for any thing could be given me But I am resolved to go to the Lady Conversation and Sir Experienc'd Travellers Wedding for there there will be the most company and it is company that I love better than the Wedding-cheer for much company is a Feast to me Maid Truly Mistris I wonder you should delight in company you being in years Mistris Troubles Out you naughty Wench do you say I am old Maid No indeed I did not name old Mistris Troubles Then let me tell you that those women that are in years seek company to divulge their Wit as youth to divulge their Beauty and we Aged Wits may chance to catch a Lover from a young Beauty But I should applaud my own wit if it could contrive to bring each Bride and Bridegroom into one Assembly making Hymen's Monarchy a Republick where all should be in common Maid So Mistriss you would prove a Traytor to Hymen which is a Bawd Mistris Troubles Faith I will turn you away for your boldness Enter Mistris Gossip O Mistris Gossip you are welcome what Newes Mistris Gossip I am come to tell you that the five Bridals meet with their Guests and good Cheer at the City-Hall and make their several Companies Joyning as one as one Body and there will be such Revelling as the like was never before Mistris Troubles Iuno be thanked and Venus be praised for it for I was much perplex'd concerning their Divisions till you came and brought me this good Newes of their Corporation Exeunt Scene 31. Enter the Lord Title and the Lady Virtue as his Bride both of them richly attired and Old Humanity following them LOrd Title Come Old Humanity and be our Father to ioyn and give us in the Church and then when we are Maried we will live a Country-life I as a Shepherd and this Lady as my Fair Shepherdess Exeunt Scene 32. Enter the Lady Ward as a Bride and her Nurse Nurse Careful NUrse Careful My dear Child you appear as a sweet budding Rose this morning Lady Ward Roses are beset with thorns Nurse I hope I am not so Nurse Caref. By 'r Lady your Husband may prove a thorn if he be not a good man and a kind Husband but Oh my heart doth ake Lady Ward Wherefore doth it ake Enter Lord Courtship as a Bridegroom Lord Courts Come Sweet are you ready for it is time to go to Church it is almost twelve a clock Lady Ward I am ready but my Nurse doth affright me by telling me her heart doth ake as if she did fore-know by her experien'd age some ill fortune towards me or that I shall be unhappy in my mariage Lord Courts Her heart doth not ake for you but for her self because she cannot be a young fair bride as you are as being past her youth so that her heart doth ake out of a sad remembrance of her self not for a present or a future cause for you Nurse Caref. Well well I was young indeed and a comely bride when I was maried though I say it and had a loving bridegroom Heaven rest his soul Exeunt Scene 33. Enter the Lady Visitant as a Bride to the Lady Conplation another Bride LAdy Visit. Come I have brought all my bridal guests hither to joyn with yours for we will go to Church together Wherefore prethee come away our Bridegrooms and our Guests stay for you Lady Contempl. I will go to them by and by Lady Visit. Why I hope you do not stay to muse upon Phantasmes saith Mariage will banish them out of your head you must now imploy your time with Realities Lady Contempl. If I thought Mariage would destroy or disturb my Contemplations I would not marry although my Wedding-guests were come and my Wedding-dinner ready drest and my Wedding-cloaths on nay were I at the holy Altar I would return back Lady Visit. That would be such an action as all the Kingdome would say you were mad Lady Contem. I had rather all the World should not only say I were mad but think me so rather than my self to be unhappy Lady Visit. Can want of Contemplation make you unhappy Lady Contem. Yes as unhappy as a body can be without a soul for Contemplation is the life of the soul and who can be happy that hath a dead soul Lady Visit. By my troth I had rather be dead than have such a dull life Enter Maid Maid Madam the Bridegroom is coming hither Lady Contempl. I will prevent him and meet him Exeunt Scene 34. Enter the two Gentlemen 1 GEntlem. Come away come away they 'l be all married before we shall get to Church 2 Gentlem. There will be enough Witnesses we may well be spared but so I share of the Feast I care not whether they be married or not 1 Gentle The truth is the benefit to us will be only in eating of their meat and drinking of their wine 2 Gentlem. And I mean to be drunk but not for joy of their Mariages but for pleasure of my Gusto Exeunt Scene 35. Enter the five Couples and all the Bridal Guests The Bridegrooms and
cannot be perswaded by my Fancy or forced by my Appetites nor betrayed by my Senses for Reason governs my Brain Temperance rules my Appetites Prudence guards my Senses and Fortitude keeps the possession and Fort of my Heart Faction Love will unthrone Reason corrupt Temperance bribe Prudence and bear Fortitude out of the Fort of your Heart Censure For fear of that I will leave you Ladies Exit Enter Mother Matron Matron News News Monsieur Satyrical hath vouchsaf'd to return you an Answer to your Challenge Bon' Esprit Who brought it Matron A scrubbed fellow in a thred-bare cloak the rest of the Ladies say Read it read it Madamoiselle Bon' Esprit She reads it to them Lady you Challeng'd me in Arms to fight Appoint the place the best time is at night For Natural Duellers yet I submit And shall obey to what hour you think fit I am content my Health for to engage And venture Life to satisfie your rage I am no Coward I am not afraid To fight a Duel with a young fair Maid Although old Mother Matron she should be Your Second for the Iudge what she doth see Matron He makes me the scurvy burthen of his more scurvy Verse and scurrilous Answer But I hope this Answer of his to your Challenge will inveterate your spleen as much as his upbraiding my Age did mine Bon' Esprit I have not such reason to be so concern'd as you are for I am honest though you are old Matron May the Infamy of Vice wither the Blossoms of Youth as Age doth the Flowers of Beauty that there may be an equal return of Reproach Bon' Esprit Indeed there is some Reciprocalness in Vice and Age Matron No Vice and Youth are Reciprocal Ambition But I see no Reciprocalnesse betwixt Love and Monsieur Satyrical Bon' Esprit I make no doubt but to bring Monsieur Satyrical into Cupid's snare Faction You may sooner bring your self into Vulcan's Net Bon' Esprit Well mark the end and success Superbe Nay rather we shall mark the endless folly Exeunt Scene 30. Enter Madamoiselle Pleasure and Monsieur Vain-glorious VAin-glorious Lady Pleasure you are the swetest young Lady in the World and the only delight in life Pleasure O Sir you give a Wooers sentence and self-love hath bribed your Judgment for most speak partially according to their Affections and not according to Truth Vain-glor. Truth is a prating preaching tatling twatling Gossip and tells many times that which would be better conceal'd Pleasure Truth is the Eye of Knowledge which brings men out of Ignorance It is the Scale of Justice the Sword of Execution the Reward of Merit It is the Bond of Propriety and the Seal of Honesty Vain-glor. Truth is a Tyrant condemning more than she saves Pleasure She condemns none but Fools Knaves Cowards Irreligious Licentious and Vain-glorious persons to be unworthy base false and wicked Exit Vainglorious alone Vain-glorious She condemns Pleasure for truly there is no such thing as Pleasure Exit Scene 31. Enter Monsieur Satyrical alone SAtyrical I must marry or bury succession in my Grave but it 's dangerous very dangerous O Nature Nature hadst thou no other way to Create a man unless thou mad'st a woman But if thou wert forc'd by the Fates to make that Sex yet thou hadst liberty to make her of a constant Mind but thou art inconstant thy self as being of female kind But since I must marry Discretion shall make the Choise which will choose Virtue before Wealth Wit before Beauty Breeding before Birth if she hath Virtue she will be Chaste if she hath Wit she will be Conversable if she hath good Breeding she will be modest and well-behav'd But where is that woman that is virtuously Chaste wittily Conversable and Modestly-behav'd If any woman be thus as I would have her it is Madamoiselle Bon' Esprit she seems to have a Noble Soul by her Honourable Actions which women for the most part are so far from as they seem for the most part to have no souls at all by their mean and petty actions Also she hath a Supernatural Wit I mean supernatural as being a woman and her Wit is not only Ingenious but Judicious by which she will set a value on subjects of Merit and Worth and despise those that are base when fools know not how to prize the best but chuse that is bad not knowing what is good so walk in Errours ways which leads unto dishonour but she having Wit and Honour knows the benefit of Honesty so well as she will be Chaste for her own sake were it not for her Husbands But I most satyrically have translated her sweet and harmless mirth which was presented in her Elevated Verse into a wanton Interpretation Diana thou Goddess of Chastity pardon me But stay thoughts whither wander you let me examine you before you pass any farther as whether or no you are not led by the bow-string of Cupid or the girdle of Venus into the foul paths of vain desires and deluding beauty to the labyrinth of destruction there to be kept and incaptivated by the intanglements and subtill windings and turnings and various passages of Amorous Love But a strict Examination requires Time and a just Judge decides not a Cause without Debate therefore I will have another Contemplation of Consideration before I address my Sute or make known my Desires Exit Scene 32. Enter Madamoiselle Ambition and Monsieur Vain glorious VAin-glor. Madam why should you refuse me Ambition Because I cannot love Vain-glor. Not love me why I am Valiant Wise Witty Honest Generous and Handsome And where will you find a man where all these Excellencies do meet in one Ambition Now you have bragg'd of your self I will plainly prove to you that you are neither perfectly Valiant nor Wise nor Witty nor Generous nor truly Honest Vain-glor. You cannot Ambition I can And first for Valour Have you gone to the Wars and fought why millions do the like and a poor Common Souldier will venture for sixpence on that which a vain Cavalier will hardly do to gain an immortal Fame Or peradventure you have fought Duels why every Drunkard will do as much who in their drink they not reason to consider Valour which is only to fight for the sake of Honour but most commonly Duels are fought through Anger or Fear or Scorn or Revenge or the like which is not true valour but they fight rather like beasts than men as with Force Fury or Appetite caused by natural Antipathies or through the heat of the blood or desires or dislikes of the Senses whereas true Valour is just temperate patient prudent and is the Heroick part or Virtue of the Soul And to be valiant is to fight for the right of Truth and the defence of Innocency without Partiality Covetousness or Ambition Also to prove your self Valiant have you received misfortunes with patience and suffred torments with fortitude Have you forgiven your Enemies or spared a bloody
from the bower of bliss into the grave of life the habitation of death from a young Beauty to an old doting Woman Oh I will tear this letter that hath deceived me but stay I will keep this letter to make sport amongst the young Ladies which sport may perchance insinuate me into some favour with the young Ladies for as idle and ridiculous pastime or means as this is hath got many times good success amongst Ladies wherefore I will for their sport-sake jestingly Court Mother Matron and in the mean time of the Progress write her a letter Exit ACT III Scene 11. Enter Madamoiselle Ambition and Monsieur Inquisitive INquisitive I hear Madamoiselle Ambition you are to marry Monsieur Vain-glorious Ambition No for I am too honest to marry one man and love admire and esteem another man beyond him but when I marry I will marry such a one as I prize honour love and admire above all other men or else I will never marry Inquisitive What man could you esteeem honour and love most Ambition He that I thought had the noblest Soul and had done the most worthyest Actions Inquisitive But put the case that man that were as you would have him were so ingag'd as you could not enjoy him in lawful mariage Ambition I could lawfully enjoy him although I could not lawfully marry him Inquisitive As how Ambition As in Contemplation for I could enjoy his Soul no otherwise if I were maried to him for if I were maried I could but contemplate of his Merits please my self with the thoughts of his Virtues honour his generous Nature and praise his Heroick Actions And these I can do as much although I should live at distance from him nor never be his Wife for the mariage of Bodies is no enjoyment of Souls Inquisitive This would only be an opinion of delight but no true enjoyment of pleasure for though an Opinion may affright the Soul yet the Opinion cannot pleasure the Body But say an Opinion could delight the Soul without the Senses yet the pleasures of the Senses are to be preferred before the delight of the Soul for the truth is that the spirits of life take more delight in sensual pleasures than in the Souls imagination for life lives in the Senses not in the Soul for were there no Senses there would be no Life Ambition By your favour there is life in the Soul when Death hath extinguish'd the Senses Inquisitive That 's more than you know you believe it only upon report but who hath had the trial or experience of the truth of it So that the report is upon an unknown ground and your belief is built upon an unsure Foundation Ambition What belief is for my advantage I will strive and indeavour to strengthen it on what foundation soever it 's built upon Exeunt Scene 12. Enter Monsieur Frisk and Mother Matrons Maid FRisk You will pardon me pretty Maid for causing you to stay so long for an Answer of your Mistris's Letter Maid There requires no pardon Sir for I have been very well entertain'd by your man I thank him Frisk I perceive my man hath had better fortune than his Master for he hath had youth to entertain but I hope if you receive the mans entertainment so thankfully you will not refuse the Masters Maid My Mistris would be jealous of your Worship if you should entertain me Frisk Why doth your Mistris love me so much Maid So much as she cannot sleep quietly for dreaming of you nor lets me sleep for she wakes me every night to tell me her dreams Frisk What dreams she Maid One dream was she dream'd that she was Diana and you Acteon Frisk What to set horns on my head Maid No my Mistris said that she in her dream did more as a Godess ought to have done than Diana did for she was generous in her dream and not cruel for instead of horning you she invited you into her Bath Frisk I hope you were one of her Nymphs Maid Another time she dream'd you were Mercury and she Herce and another that she was Venus and you Adonis but the last night she awaked out of a fearful dream Frisk What dream was that Maid She dream'd that she was Queen Dido and you the Prince AEneas and when you were ship'd and gone away she stab'd her self Frisk If she were Dido I should prove AEneas Maid On my Conscience she fetch'd as many sighs when she awak'd and made as many pitious complaints and lamentations as if her dream had been true and she really bad been Queen Dido insomuch as I was afraid that she would have killed he self indeed and was running forth the Chamber to call in company to hinder her but that she commanded me to stay saying that it was but the passion of her dream for she hoped that you would prove a more constant and faithful Lover than to leave her to despair Frisk The next time she is in the same passion tell her I will be like AEneas meet her in Hell In the mean time carry her this Letter Maid Lord Lord she will be a joy'd woman to receive a letter from you and I shall be a welcome Messenger unto her and the letter will be worth a new gown to me Frisk I wish it may be a gown of price to thee Exeunt Scene 13. Enter Monsieur Satyrical and Madamoiselle Bon' Esprit BOn Esprit How shall I pacifie my companions or qualifie their spleens who will be in a furious rage when they perceive and know my real love to you for they made me as their hook to the line of their Angle and hope to catch you like a Gudgion Satyrical All that Angle do not catch yet you have drawn me forth of the salt Satyrical Sea Bon' Esprit But their desire is that you should lie gasping on the shore of Love Satyrical Would they be so cruel as not to throw me into a fresh River Bon' Esprit No for they joy in the thought of your torments and their general prayers are to Cupid imploring him to wound you with a golden-headed Arrow and she you love with an Arrow headed with lead As for their particular prayers they are after this manner One prays you may sigh your self into Air and the Air so infectious as it may plague all the Satyrical of your Sex Another prayeth you may weep tears of Vitriol and that the sharpness of those tears may corrode your soul Another prays that your passion of love may be so hot as it may torment you as Hell-fire doth the damned but Mother Matron besides saying Amen to all their prayers makes her prayers thus That she for whose sake you must endure all these torments may be the oldest and most ill-favour'd deform'd woman that ever Nature Accident and Time made Satyrical She would have me in Love with her self it seems by her prayer Bon' Esprit If she did hear you she would die for want of Revenge
Satyrical But Mistris what prayer made you for me Bon' Esprit Not a cursing prayer for though Mother Matron would have carried me up to the top of the Hill of Rage and instead of a prayer for you there to have made curses against you yet she could neither force me up the one nor perswade me to the other for I told her I would give a blessing instead of a curse and for fear of that she left persisting Satyrical I perceive I had been in danger had not you sav'd me and like a merciful Godess kept me from their fury but I 'm afraid that for my sake they will curse you now Bon' Esprit No doubt of it but the best of 't is that their cursing prayers or prayers of curses go no farther than their lips Satyrical For all their furious rage self-conceit perswades me that if I had addrest my self as a Suter to any one of them they would have been more merciful than to have deny'd my sute Bon' Esprit I can think no otherwise for I shall judge them by my self Satyrical Pray let 's go and invite them to our Wedding Bon' Esprit By no means for they will take that as ill as if you did indid invite them to a poyson'd Banquet But if I may advise it is not to tell them our Design but let them find it out themselves Satyrical I shall agree to your Counsel Exeunt Scene 14. Enter Mother Matron and her Maid Matron Come come I have watch'd and long'd for your Return above two hours I may say above two years for so the time did seem to me O Venus thou Fair and Amorous Godess send me a comfortable Answer if 't be thy will Maid I have brought you a Letter from Monsieur Frisk but for my part I know not what comfort he hath sent you Matron O Cupid O Cupid be my friend She opens the Letter and reads it aloud The Letter Amorous Mother Matron THough Time hath made you sit for Heaven having worn out your body a substance for Love to work upon converting or translating it all into Soul an incorporeal shadow which none but the Gods can imploy to any use yet since you Esteem and Love me as a God to resign up that incorporality I can do no less than return you thanks although I never did merit such a gift But my sins I confess are many and deserve great punishments yet I hope the Gods will be more merciful than to leave me void of reason or to suffer Nature to make me to have extravagant appetites or Heaven to leave me to extravagant appetites but howsoever as occasions fall out I shall shew reverence to your Motherly Gravitie and in the mean time rest Your Admirer FRISK Matron I know not by this Letter whether he will be my Lover or not yet I will kiss it for his sake She kisses the Letter O sweet Letter thou happy Paper that hast receiv'd the pressure of this hand What did he say when he gave you this letter to bring me Maid He talk'd of Pluto and of Hell Matron How of Hell Maid Yes but it was concerning AEneas and Dido Mother Matron fetches a great sigh Matron I hope he will not make me such an Example as Queen Dido nor himself so false a Lover as AEneas but if he should I will cry out O thou my cruel AEneas hast slain me Exeunt Scene 15. Enter Superbe Portrait Faction and Pleasure FAction Now I have seen Madamoiselle la Belle I perceive Fame gives more praise than Nature Beauty Superbe To some she doth Portrait Nay faith for the most part to all Enter Monsieur Sensuality Sensuality O Ladies there is the greatest loss befallen me that ever befell man Portrait What loss Sensuality Why Madamoiselle la Belle is gone Pleasure How gone Is she maried or dead Sensuality Faith she 's as bad as dead to me and worse than if she were maried for if she were a Wife there would be some hopes but her careful Father hath carry'd her away into the Country being jealous of the much company that came to visit her Faction It seems he knew she was apt to be catch'd that he durst not trust her But how came you to receive a greater loss than the rest of the Masculine Visiters Sensuality Because I had greater hopes than I perceive the rest had Portrait Why had you a design to get her for a Wife Sensuality No faith mine was a better design which was to get her for a Mistris Superbe But it was likely she would never have been your Mistris Sensuality It was likely she would have been my Mistris for she was fair and foolish kind and toyish and had an inviting Eye Pleasure Why you may follow her into the Country Sensuality No the City is so well stored as I shall not need to put my self to that trouble as to journey after her Exeunt Scene 16. Enter Mother Matron alone Matron O Love thou tormenter of soft hearts or a melter of hard ones soften the hard heart of Monsieur Frisk and ease my soft and tender heart inflame his spirits to love and refresh mine with his kindness O Venus perswade thy Son in my behalf and consider me by thy self Ha ho Exit Scene 17. Enter Temparance Faction Portrait Pleasure Ambition and Superbe TEmperance I would never have an extraordinary Beauty seen but once and that should be in a publick Assembly Pleasure It is a sign Temperance your beauty is past for would you have an extraordinary Beauty to be buried in oblivion Temperance No for I would have all the World see if it could be shewn to the whole World but I would have it shewn but once and no more Superbe Why so Temperance Because what is common is never highly priz'd but rather despis'd or at least neglected by continuance for that which is at first admir'd as a wonder when it comes to be as domestick is not regarded for it is an old saying That the greatest wonder lasts but nine days Portrait But there is such a sympathy betwixt beauty and sight that as long as beauty doth last sight will take delight to look thereon and the Design End or Fruition of Beauty is to be gaz'd upon for from the sight it receives Praise Love and Desire and by reflection sets all hearts on fire Faction O that I had such a Beauty as would burn every Masculine heart into cinders Temperance Why are you so cruel Lady to wish such a wish to the Masculine Sex Faction My wish proceeds out of love to my self and mercy to men First out of love to my self for as I am a woman I naturally desire Beauty and there is no woman that had not rather have beauty although attended with an unfortunate life than be ill-savour'd to enjoy prosperity The last wish is out of mercy to men for their hearts are so false and foul as no way but burning can purifie them Ambition That were
Reason when there are so many seeming reasons as the right cannot be known 1 Virgin Seeming reasons are like seducing flatterers perswade 't is truth when all is false they say 2 Virgin Let us talk of Justice 4 Virgin Justice to the Generality hath a broad full face but to particulars she hath but a quarter and half-quarter face and to some particulars she veils it all over Wherefore to talk of Justice is to talk blindfold 2 Virgin Let us talk of Bashfulness 3 Virgin What should we talk of our own disgrace Matron A Grace you mean Lady 3 Virgin No surely a distemper'd Countenance and a distorted Face can be no grace 1 Virgin Let us talk of the Passions 2 Virgin It is easier to talk of them than to conquer and govern them although it is easier to conquer the perturbed passions of the Mind than the unruly Appetites of the Body for as the Body is grosser than the Soul so the Appetites are stronger than the Passions 4 Virgin Let us talk of Gifts 5 Virgin There are no Gifts worth the talking of but Natural Gifts as Beauty Wit good Nature and the like 4 Virgin Let us talk of Wit that is a Natural Gift 1 Virgin Nature gives true Wit to very few for many that are accounted Wits are but Wit-leeches that suck and swell with wit of other men and when they are over-gorg'd they spue it out again besides there are none but Natural Poets that have variety of Discourses all others talk according to their Professions Practice and Studies when Poets talk of all that Nature makes or Art invents and like as Bees that gather the sweets of every flower bring honey to the Hive which are the Ears of the Hearers wherein Wit doth swarm But since we are not by Nature so indu'd Wit is a subject not fit to be pursued by us 5 Virgin Let us talk of Beauty 3 Virgin Those that have it take greater pleasure in the Fame than in the Possession for they care not so much to talk of it as to hear the praises of it Matron Come Ladies let us go for I perceive your Wits can settle upon no one subject this day Exeunt Scene 16. Enter Monsieur Frere alone as being melancholy FRere O how my Spirit moves with a disorder'd haste my thoughts tumultuously together throng striving to pull down Reason from his throne and banish Conscience from the Soul Walks as in a melancholy posture Enter Monsieur Pere Pere What Son Lover-like already before you have seen your Mistris Well her Father and I am agreed there 's nothing wanting but the Priest and Ceremony and all is done Frere Sir there are our Affections wanting for we never saw one another Wherefore it is not known whether we shall affect or nor Pere I hope you are not so disobedient to dispute your Fathers will Frere And I hope Sir you will not be so unkind as to force me to marry one I cannot love Pere Not love why she is the richest Heiress in the Kingdom Frere I am not covetous Sir I had rather please my Fancy than increase my Estate Pere Your Fancy Let me tell you that your fancy is a fool and if you do not obey my will I will dis-inherit you Frere I fear not poverty Pere Nor fear you not a Fathers curse Frere Yes Sir that I do Pere Why then be sure you shall have it if you refuse her Frere Pray give me some time to consider of 't Pere Pray do and consider wisely you had best Exeunt Scene 17. Enter two Servants I SErvant I doubt my Lady will die 2 Servant I fear so for the Doctor when he felt her pulse shook his head which was an ill sign 1 Servant It is a high Feaver she is in 2 Servant The Doctor says a high continual Feaver 1 Servant She 's a fine young Lady 't is pity she should die 2 Servant My Master puts on a sad face but yet me thinks his sadness doth not appear of a through-die Exeunt Scene 18. Enter the Sociable Virgins and two Grave Matrons MAtron Come Ladies how will you pass your time to day I Virgin Pray let us sit and Rhime and those that are out shall lose a Collation to the rest of the Society All speak Agree agreed I Virgin Love is both kind and cruel As fire unto fuel It doth imbrace and burn Gives Life and proves Deaths Urn 2 Virgin A lowring Sky and Sunny wrays Is like a commendation with dispraise Or like to Cypress bound to Bays Or like to tears on Wedding days 3 Virgin A flatt'ring Tongue and a false Heart A kind Imbrace which makes me start A beauteous Form a Soul that 's evil Is like an Angel but a Devil 4 Virgin A woman old to have an Amorous passion A Puritan in a fantastick Fashion A formal States-man which dances and skips about And a bold fellow which is of countenance out 5 Virgin A Scholars head with old dead Authors full For want of wit is made a very gull 1 Virgin To laugh and cry to mingle smiles and tears Is like to hopes and doubts and joys and fears As sev'ral passions mixes in one mind So sev'ral postures in one face may find 2 Virgin To love and hate both at one time And in one person both to joyn To love the man but hate the crime Is like to sugar put to brine Matron Ladies you had better tell some Tales to pass your time with for your rhymes are not full of wit enough to be delightfully sociable 3 Virgin Agreed let us tell some Tales 4 Virgin Once upon a time Honour made Love to Vertue a gallant and Heroick Lord he was and she a sweet modest and beautiful Lady and naked Truth was the Confident to them both which carried and brought love messages and presents from and to each other 2 Matron Out upon beastly truth for if she goeth naked I dare say she is a wanton Wench and Virtue I dare swear is little better than her self if she keeps her company or can behold her without winking and I shall shrewdly suspect you Ladies to be like her if you discourse of her but more if you have any acquaintance with her And since you are so wilde and wanton as to talk of naked truth I will leave you to your scurrilous discourse for I am asham'd to be in your company and to hear you speak such Ribauldry O fie O fie naked Truth Iove bless me and keep me from naked Truth as also from her sly Companion Virtue out upon them both She goes out and the Sociable Virgins follow her saying Stay or else Truth would meet her and cloath her in a fools coat Exeunt Scene 19. Enter Madam Soeur and Monsieur Frere MAdam Soeur Now you have seen your Mistris Brother tell me how you like her Frere It were a rudeness to your Sex if I should say I dislike any Woman Soeur Surely Brother you cannot dislike her
light from the Sun or the World from its Center or the fix'd Stars from their assigned places than draw away love from him Sensible Why how if he will not have you Amor I can only say I shall be unhappy Sensible I hope you will be wiser than to make your self miserable for one you cannot have to be your Husband Exeunt Scene 27. Enter many of Monsieur Malateste's Servants writing against their Master and Ladies comming home Enter Monsieur Malateste and his Lady SErvants Heaven give your Worship joy and our noble Lady Madam Mal. What is this your best House Monsieur Mal. Yes and is it not a good one Sweet Madam Mal. Fie upon it I hate such an old-fashiond House wherefore pray pull it down and build another more fashionable as that there may be a Bell-view and Pergalus round the outside of the Horse also Arched Gates Pillars and Pilasters and carved Frontispeeces with Antick Imagery also I would have all the lower rooms vaulted and the upper rooms flat-roof'd painted and gilded and the Planchers checker'd and inlaid with silver the Stair-case to be large and winding the steps broad and low as shallow then to take in two or three Fields about your House to make large Gardens wherein you may plant Groves of Mirtle as also to make Walks of green Turf and those to be hanging and shelving as if they hung by Geometry also Fountains and Water-works and those Water-works to imitate those Birds in Winter that only sing in Summer Monsieur Mal. But this will cost a great summ of money Wise Madam Mal. That 's true Husband but to what use is money unless to spend Monsieur Mal. But it ought to be spent prudently Madam Mal. Prudently say you why Prudence and Temperance are the Executioners of Pleasure and Murtherers of Delight wherefore I hate them as also this covetous humour of yours Exeunt Monsieur Malateste and his Wife 1 Servant I marry Sir here is a Lady indeed for she talks of pulling down this House before she hath throughly seen it and of building up another 2 Servant If you will have my opinion the old servants must go down as well as the old house 3 Servant I believe so for she look'd very scornfully upon us nor spoke not one word either good or bad to us 4 Servant Well come let us go about our imployments and please as long as we can and when we can please no longer we must seek other Services Exeunt Scene 28. Enter Monsieur Frere and Madam Soeur MAdam Soeur Do not pursue such horrid Acts as to Whore your Sister Cuckold your Brother-in-Law dishonour your Father and brand your life and memory with black infamy Good Brother consider what a world of misery you strive to bring upon your self and me Frere Dear Sister pity me and let a Brothers pleading move your heart and bury not my youth in Death before the natural time Soeur 'T is better you should die and in the grave be laid than live to damn your soul Frere To kill my self will be as bad a crime Soeur O no for Death any way is more honourable than such a life as you would live Exeunt Scene 29. Enter the two Gentlemen 1 Gent. FRiend prethee tell me why you do not marry 2 Gent. Because I can find no woman so exact as I would have a Wife to be for first I would not have a very tall woman for the appears as if her soul and body were mis-match'd as to have a pigmy soul and a gyantly body 1 Gent. Perchance her soul is answerable to her body 2 Gent. O no for it is a question whether women have souls or no but for certain if they have they are of a dwarfish kind Neither would I have a wife with a masculine strength for it seems praeposterous to the softness and tenderness of their Sex neither would I have lean wife for she will appear always to me like the picture of Death had she but a sythe and hour-glass in her hand for though we are taught to have always Death in our Mind to remember our End yet I would not have Death always before my Eyes to be afraid of my End But to have a very lean wife were to have Death in my Arms as much as in my Eyes and my Bed would be as my Grave 1 Gent. Your Bed would be a warm Grave 2 Gent. Why man though Death is cold the Grave is hot for the Earth hath heat though Death hath none 1 Gent. What say you to a fat woman 2 Gent. I say a fat woman is a bed-fellow only for the Winter and not for the Summer and I would have such a woman for my Wife as might be a nightly companion all the year 1 Gent. I hope you would not make your Wife such a constant bed-fellow as to lie always together in one bed 2 Gent. Why not 1 Gent. Because a mans stomack or belly may ake which will make wind work and the rumbling wind may decrease love and so your wife may dislike you and dislike in time may make a Cuckold 2 Gent. By your favour it increases Matrimonial Love 't is true it may decrease Amorous Love and the more Amorous Love increases the more danger a man is in for Amorous Love even to Husbands is dangerous for that kind of Love takes delight to progress about when Matrimonial Love is constant and considers Nature as it is Besides a good Wife will not dislike that in her Husband which she is subject to her self but howsoever I will never marry unless I can get such a Wife as is attended by Virtue directed by Truth instructed by Age on honest grounds and honourable principles which Wife will neither dislike me nor I her but the more we are together the better we shall love and live as a maried pair ought to live and not as dissembling Lovers as most maried couples do 1 Gentlem. What think you of choosing a Wife amongst the Sociable Virgins 2 Gent. No no I will choose none of them for they are too full of discourse for I would have a Wife rather to have a listning Ear than a talking Tongue for by the Ear she may receive wise instructions and so learn to practise that which is noble and good also to know my desires as to obey my will when by speaking muck she may express her self a fool for great Talkers are not the wisest Practisers Besides her restless Tongue will disturb my Contemplations the Tranquillity of my Mind and the peace quiet and rest of my Life Exeunt Scene 30. Enter Madam Malateste and another Maid and Nan the former Ladies Maid MAdam Mal. Are you she that takes upon you to govern and to be Mistris in this House Nan Why I do but that I did in the other Ladies time Madam Mal. Let me tell you you shall not do so in my time nay you shall have no doings wherefore get you out of the
VVherefore Lady take me and make your self happy and me No Musk nor Civet courtly words I use Nor Frenchez-pan promises to abuse Your softer Sex nor Spanish sweets to tell And bribe your quicker nostrils with the smell Or let a false tear down my cheek to fall And with dissembling kneeling therewithall Sigh my self into Air these fools disdain These quarter-wits O kick them back again Nor am I like a Justice of the Peace That woo's you just as he would buy a lease Nor like an Heir whose Tutor for his sake So many lyes of Joynter-houses make Nor like a Lawyer that would fain intail And when he 's try'd doth make a Jeofail Nay thousands more that always do dissemble For your sake make my loving heart to tremble Lest you should be deceiv'd Admired Lady fear not my Profession All my Drum-heads I 'll beat them to soft silence And every warlike Trumpet shall be dumb Our feared Colours now shall be torn off And all our Armour be condemn'd to rust Only my Sword I 'll wear the badge of man Por to defend you and your Honour-still Then Madam take me thus your loving Vassal When lying bragging Castrils will forsake you Oh take a man and joy in him for life A Sword-man knows the virtue of a Wife Here ends my Lord Marquisses writing The Lady Prudence's Answer Lady Prudence Gallant Sir should I accept of your Sute I should be either an Enemy to my self or you or my Country As for my self should I marry a Souldier I should be tormented with the cruellest passions for if I love my Husband as sure I shall I shall be perpetually frightned with his dangers grieved for his absence despair of his life Every little misfortune will be as his Passing-Bell I shall never be at rest asleep nor awake my Dreams will present him to my view with bleeding wounds mangled body and pale visage I shall be widow'd every minute of an hour in my own thoughts for as the Senses are to the Body so the thoughts are to the Mind and Imaginations in these or the like cases are as strong as a visible presence for passions live in the Soul not in the senses for a man is as much grieved when he hears his friend is dead or kill'd as if he saw him dead or slain for the dead friend lives in the mind not the mind in the dead friend But with these Dreams and Imaginations I shall grow blind with weeping weak with sighing sick with sorrowing and deaf with listning after reports And should you desist from that noble Profession for my sake I should prove as a Traitor to my Country by taking away part of the strength and support leaving the weakness to the force of the Enemy for a good Souldier is a strong Fort and Bulwark of Defence Indeed a skilful Commander is to be prefer'd before a numerous Army for a number of men without Order are like dust which the least puff of wind blows about so an Army not being well commanded is quickly dispers'd and suddenly routed upon the least errour besides should you desist you would bury your name in Oblivion when by your valiant Actions and prudent Conduct your memory will be placed in Fames high Tower and writ in large Characters of praise 'T is true should I marry I should prefer my Husbands honour before his life yet would I not willingly marry a man whose life shall be set at the stake and Fortune still throwing at it for that would make me live miserably And who would wilfully make themselves miserable when Nature forbids it and God commands it not Exit Lady The Lover goes sighing out Scene 3. Enter the Lady Parrot and the Lady Minion LAdy Parrot Shall we go and visit the Lady Gravity Minion No she lives so solitary a life as we shall meet no company there for none go to visit her Lady Parrot Then let us goe to the Lady Liberty there we shall meet company enough for all the Ladies in the Town go to visit her Minion If she hath no men-visiters I will not add to the number of her Lady visiters Parrot You may be sure she hath Masculine Visiters or else the Ladies would never go to see her for it is to meet the men the Ladies go to see her and not for her own sake Minion And the men go to see the Ladies Parrot I believe some do yet men are better company in the company of their own Sex than in the company of women Minion By your favour the contrary Sex agree best and are better pleased together than men with men or women with women But if the Lady Liberties House be the General Rendezvouz for Men and Women let us go Parrot Content Exeunt Scene 8. Enter Mistris Trifle and Mistris Vanity VAnity O my dear Heart Trifle O my dear Joy how glad am I to see thee But where have you been that you came later than you promis'd for if you had not sent me word you would come to me to day I had gone to you Vanity Why where do you think I have been Trifle I know not where to think Vanity I have been at a Silk-mans shop to buy me a new Gown but I would not choose it before I had shewn thee my patterns Trifle Let me see them She shews them Vanity What do you think of this stuff Trifle This is out of Fashion besides 't is not a Mode-colour Vanity What think you of this Tabby Trifle The colour is good but it is not of a good water Vanity What think you of this Sattin Trifle The Sattin is a good glossy Sattin but the colour is too pale Vanity But pale colours 't is said are Allamode in France Trifle Who says so Vanity A Gentleman told me so which is newly come out of France Trifle Then he perchance could have told you all the French Fashions Vanity So he did most particularly for he said he went into France for no other purpose but to see and observe Fashions Trifle I believe he only observed mens Fashions being a man and not womens Fashions Vanity Nay he swore he observ'd the womens Fashion more than the mens by reason he knew it would make him more acceptable to our Sex at his return not onely for Discourse-sake but for the kind rewards he should have for his Intelligence which rewards he hath found so full and plentiful as he hath made such a beneficial Journey as he will go once every year and stay a moneth or two and then return Trifle For Ioves sake send him to me Vanity I will but prethee choose my Gown Trifle Let the Gentleman that came out of France choose your Gown for he can put you into the French Fashion Exeunt Scene 9. Enter the Lady Prudence and the Amorous VVooer They take their places and the Assembly about them VVOoer Sweet Lady your Beauty hath wounded my heart imprisoned my senses and hath inslav'd my soul so as I
am wholly in your power Prudence I will mask my beauty and set you free Wooer A mask may shadow your beauty but cannot extinguish it no more than a dark cloud can the bright Sun And as the Sun begets life and gives light so your beauty begets love and gives delight to all that do behold it Prudence And as Time brings Death Darkness and Obscurity so Age brings wrinckles and Absence forgetfulness burying love in the ruines of Beauty Wooer My love can never die nor hath time power to vade your beauty Prudence Nothing escapes Times tyranny but what the soul possesses Wooer You are the soul of beauty and beauty the soul of love Prudence Such souls have no Eternity but die as bodies do Wooer O save my soul and love me Prudence 'T is not in my power for love is free and resolute it can neither be commanded nor intreated Exeunt Scene 10. Enter the Lady Liberty Sir Thomas Letgo Sir William Holdfast the Lady Parrot the Lady Minion Master Disswader Sir VVilliam Holdfasts Friend being met at a Feast at Sir Thomas Letgo's House LEtgo Ladies you are become melancholy of a sudden I hope you are not tyr'd with dancing Liberty Yes saith we want divertisements wherefore prethy Sir Thomas Letgo send for thy affianced Mistris to make sport Letgo I am asham'd she should be seen or made known to this noble company Liberty O divulge her by all means that the World may know you do despise her and that you will marry her only because she is rich and to obey your Fathers commands Letgo I will obey your commands and send for her He sends for her in the mean time he is talking to another Enter the Lady Mute holding down her head and looking simply Liberty Sir Thomas Letgo your wise Mistris is come to welcome your Guests Letgo She wants words to express her self and Wit to entertain them Liberty Your Father knew you wanted not Wit so much as Wealth Letgo Many Fathers leave their sons nothing but their follies and vices for their Inheritance But my Father not having Vices or Follies enough of his own hath left me another mans Fool for an Annuity Parrot Is she a fool Liberty O yes for she seldom speaks Parrot That 's a great sign of simplicity indeed Liberty She is a meer Changeling for when she doth speak it is but when she is question'd and then for the most part she gives but one answer to all sorts of questions Parrot What Answer is that Liberty Her Answer is she cannot tell Holdfast Lady there may be such questions ask'd as are beyond a wise mans understanding to resolve But perchance she is sceptick that doubts all things All the company laugh Liberty What do you judge the scepticks fools Holdfast A man may judge all those to be fools that are not scepticks Liberty I judge all those that think her not a fool are fools Holdfast Then Lady I am condemn'd for I cannot give sentence against any of your Sex neither in thoughts or words Exeunt ACT II. Scene 11. Enter the Lady Prudence and the Country Gentleman as Suter They take their places the Assembly about them This wooing part of the Country Gentleman was written by the Marquiss of Newcastle Country Gentleman Madam though I no Courtier am by Education Yet I more truth may speak and here declare Your charming Eyes turn wanton thoughts to virtue Each modest smile converts the sinfull'st soul To holy Matrimony and each Grace and Motion Takes more than the fairest Face I am not young not yet condemn'd to age Not handsome nor yet I think ill-favour'd I do not swell with riches nor am poor No Palaces yet have Conveniences What though Poetick Raptures I do want My Judgment 's clearer than those hotter brains To make a Joynture out of verse and songs Or thirds in Oratory to endow you The Mean betwixt Extremes is Virtue still If so then make me happy and your self Courtiers may tell you that you may enjoy And marry pleasure there each minutes time There is all freedom for the female Sex Though you are bound yet feel not you are ty'd For liberty begins when you 'r a Bride Your Husband your Protection and the Court Doth cure all jealousie and fonder doubts Which there are laught at as the greatest follies If not by most yet they 'r thought mortal sins 'T is Heaven on Earth for Ladies that seem wise But you are vertuous and those ways despise Therefore take me that honour you for that Here ends my Lord Marquisses writing Prudence Worthy Sir could I perswade my Affection to listen to your sure you should not be deny'd but it is deaf or obstinate it will neither take your counsel nor be intreated But since you wooe so worthily I shall esteem you honourable as well you deserve Exeunt Scene 12. Enter the Lady Parrot and the Lady Minion PArrot Sweet Madam I could not pass by your house for my life but I must enter to see you although I was here but yesterday Minion Dear Madam I am very much joy'd to see you for I am never well but in your company They sit down both in one Couch Parrot When did you see the Lady Gravity Minion I have not seen her these two days Parrot Lord she is the strangest Lady that ever I knew in my life her company is so uneasie and let me tell you as a secret she hath a very ill Reputation Minion If I thought that I would not keep her company Parrot Since I heard that Report I have shunn'd her company as much as I could Minion Even so will I for I would not keep any body company that I thought were not chaste for a World But who is her servant can you tell Parrot 'T is commonly reported Sir Henry Courtly is her servant Minion Out upon him he is the veriest Whoremaster in all the Town nay if she keeps him company I will not come near her I 'll warrant you Parrot Nor I although she would fain be dear with me and seeks all the ways she can to be great with me sending her Gentleman-Usher every day to me with a How do you Minion No pray do not be dear nor great with her but let you and I be dear and great and that will anger her to the heart Parrot That it will faith therefore let us go to morrow together and visit her to let her see how dear and great friends we are Minion Content Parrot Agreed Enter Sir Henry Courtly as to visit the Lady Minion Minion Lord Sir Henry Courtly I have not seen you these three days Courtly I was here yesterday Madam to wait upon you but you were abroad then I went to wait upon you my Lady Parrot but you were also from home Parrot So then I had but the reversions of the Lady Minions Visit Courtly I can be but in one place at one time Madam Minion Why should you take it ill Madam that he should
with their hats off he leading in the Bride his Princess and a great many Ladies waiting on her The Prince and Princess sit in two Chairs and the rest of the company on each side of them to see an Anti mask presented to them When the Antick-maskers had danced a Song was sung These Songs following the Lord Marquiss writ Song VErtue and Honour you did take And Beauty scorn'd as vading Thus you a Godess it doth make Rove mortal Ladies trading They love the Body you the Soul They Shape but you the Mind Your Love those grosser loves controll Which shews their Love is blind His wooden Leg is thrown away The black Patch for the blind The Bunch on 's back asswag'd to day As hansome as his Mind This now is your reward Sweet Madam The Gods they are not lath To give you one handsome as Adam And thus enjoy them both Then the Maskers dance again and after their Dance another Song Song Loves Miracles not ceased be The Lame to walk the Blind to see The Crooked is made straight 't is true And these Loves Wonders made by you His Body metamorphos'd is By your Ambrosia sweeter kiss Such power hath Love when you do sip The Gods pure Nectar from your Lip All Ioys attend you night and day Be each to other fresh as May Renewing pleasures every hour And sweeter than the sweetest Flower The Maskers dance again and after another Song Song Envious Ladies now repine Since you are crost In having lost A Prince so handsome and so fine Mourn in black patches for your sins Despair each Curl And every Purl And throw away your dressing-pins Lay by your richer Gowns of State For now you 'l faint For all your paint When think of your unhappier Fate For these Love-pitfals they are stale And all despise Your glancing Eyes For all forc'd Arts in Love they 'l fail Now let your specious gliding pass Or your Lips fed With biting red Despair and break each Looking-glass Here ends my Lord Marquis his writing Then the Maskers dance again and so goe out the Prince and Princess and the Company goes out all but a Matron and some young Ladies who stay and look upon each other very sadly without speaking to each other Matron What Ladies are you Thunder-struck with the Princes Honour or are you blasted with the Lightning of his Splendor or crush'd with the wheel of her good Fortune Parle Lord Lord how blindly Fortune throws her gifts away Matron One would think she had clear Eyes when she bestow'd her Favours upon the Princess Vanity She is become so proud since she is become a Princess as she will not look on us that were her companions and she thinks scorn to speak to us for she said not one word to any of us Matron She had no occasion to speak to you but I am confident If you speak to her you will find her as civil and obliging as ever she was Fondly 'Faith we care not for we can live without being oblig'd to her Parle They are not the happiest that have the greatest Titles Trifle Pride will have a Fall Matron I perceive it is hand to get the good opinion of the World for you rail'd at her Course laugh'd at her Choise condemn'd her Mariage and now you envy her good Success Parle We envy her you are mistaken for she must be of greater value and we less worthy than we are to raise an Envy Matron Nay Ladies if you are angry I will leave you Parle Then we shall be rid of a pratling fool Exit Matron Enter three or four old Ladies the Mothers to the young Ladies 1 Old Lady O wisedome in youth is a wonder 2 Old Lady Happy is that Parent that hath a discreet Child 3 Old Lady Such Children give their Parents Honour in their Graves 4 Old Lady Pray let us Petition that a Law may be Enacted for this Publick Wooing 1 Old Lady We shall not need to Petition for the Princess I dare warrant you will get the Prince to Enact a Law for this Publick Wooing for her Fame she being the only first that hath been wooed so So they all speak together Old Ladies Well Daughters make her your Pattern Exeunt Old Ladies Trifle Yesterday that was the Wedding-day my Parents did condemn the Bride calling her Fool and saying she was mad and forbid me to imitate her Parle 'T is no wonder our Natures are so various when as our Education are so inconstant for we are instructed to imitate Fortune which is to be restless and to spoil that good we have done Vanity Or to better the worse Parle No 'faith for I perceive Fortune hath more power to do hurt than good for Fortune ruines or at least disturbs Virtuous Acts and frustrates Wisedom's Counsels Enter a Messenger Messenger Ladies the Princess desires your company to dance Parle Pray excuse me Sir for I have so great a pain on my left side as I can hardly fetch my breath Vanity And I have such a pain in my head as I dare not dance for fear it should ake more Trifle And truly I have so streight a shooe as it is a pain for me to tread a step Fondly And I am not well in my stomach wherefore excuse us Sir to the Princess Exeunt Scene 44. Enter the Lady Parrot and the Lady Minion and the Lady Gosling PArrot God give you Joy I have not seen you since you were maried Minion You are welcome into the maried Society Gosling I thank you Madam Truly I am so tyr'd Parrot With what Madam Gosling With helping my Neighbour the Lady Breeder to hold her back Minion VVhy is she in Labour Gosling She is brought to Bed but on my word she hath had a hard bargain for she hath had a sore Labour Parrot VVhat hath God sent her Gosling A lusty boy Indeed it is one of the goodliest children that ever I saw Minion But how chance she did not send for me to her Labour Gosling She came on such a sudden as she had hardly Time to send for the Midwife but she was mightily troubled you were not there she doubts you will take it ill Parrot We have reason for if we could not have come time enough to her Labour we might have come time enough to the cup of Rejoycing Gosling But she will bid you to the Christening Minion That 's some amends But this hard labour of the Lady Breeders will fright you Gosling No for I have as much courage as other maried Wives have though truly Sir Anthony Gosling my Husband was very loth I should goe for said he to me prethee sweet Duck do not go I answer'd and said to him my hony-love I must go for it is the part of one wife to help another besides a gossipping company doth help to ease the womens pains and if I go not to their Labour they will not come to mine Minion Why are you with Child Gosling No but I
love or rather this beastly lust that doth corrupt all good manners as gentle civility free society lawfull recreations honest friendship natural affections it cuts off the feet of obedience it breaks the knees of duty it wounds the breast of fidelity it pulls out the heart of loyalty it turns away prudence it banishes temperance and murthers justice it breaks peace and makes warrs and turns arms into petticoats O sweet pure Chastity how amiable thou art how beautifull thou appearst in women how heroick in men for Chast women have such innocent thoughts such pure clean clear white immaculate minds such modest countenances such gentle behaviour such civil discourses such noble actions such discreet entertainments such cautionarie recreations otherwise they are bold impudent rude flanting ranting romping women also Chastity in men makes them heroick for propriety justice constancy and natural and honest love is the basis pillars or foundation whereon true valour is built when amorous affections make men effeminate causing them to cast away their hard iron arms to lie in the soft arms of beauty and stops their cares from loud alarums with charming notes of Musick it takes them from being masters of themselves and others and makes them become servants and slaves from commanding an Army to be commanded by single women by whom he is checkt like a school-boy lead like a dog in a string as after his mistrisses humours her frowns make him crouch like a cur her smiles make him skip and make face like a Jack anapes and their beastly appetites make them so rude and wilde as they regard no civility of behaviour no gentleness of disposition no constancy of affection they keep no friendship constancy or vowes they break all decent customs and disobey all honest laws but this is a theam too wilde to be preacht on Gentlewoman Why Madam my Lord your father may be a very chast man although he lieth with his maid if he hath made her his wife before he made her his bedfellow Lady Sprightly His wife he scorns the thought and hates the act Gentlewoman Pardon me Madam if I offer to lay a wager of it Lady Sprightly Are you so confident that you dare lay a wager Gentlewoman If you inquire more I believe you will find it to be true Exeunt ACT V. Scene 39. Enter the Lady Chastity and her woman gives her a letter Lady reads the Letter LAdy Chastity Who brought this letter Woman A kind of a Gentleman servingman Chastity Pray receive no more letters from that man Woman He said he would come in the evening to receive an answer Chastity If he comes tell him it needs no answer Enter Sir Henry Sage Chastity Husband will you read a Love letter Sir Hen. Sage From whence comes it and to whom is it sent Chastity You will soon find from whence it comes and to whom it is sent He reads it Sir Hen. Sage So wife I perceive I am in danger to be made a Cuckold Chastity Doth the letter beget your faith to that opinion Sir Hen. Sage But the praises and professions this letter brings you raises scruples and those scruples beget controversies and those controversies may in time make a convert Chastity Rather a pervert Husband but be you constant and I will warrant you safe Sir Hen. Sage But Youth and Beauty wife when they plead are greater Bawds and have a more perswasive power than the Lady Procurer Chastity Truly all three as Beauty Youth or the Lady Procurer rather than perswade me would divert me had I a wanton nature as first for the Lady Procurer her baseness appeared such as made me hate my self for being of the same sex she was of and grieved me to see the follies of mankind the one appearing like a Devil the other like a beast so seem'd the Lover and the Bawd when men have Reason to govern as much as Appetite to perswade the one proceeding from the Soul the other from the body besides Virtue is the Natural Complexion of the Soul not Vice for Vice is bred not born in man As for Youth it is so fantastical extravagant wilde and self-opinionated doing such ridiculous Actions putting themselves into such affected Postures as I might be as soon enamour'd with a Jack-anapes Besides the discourses of Youth are so flashy as it gives the hearers no relish and their Judgment is so shallow and their Understanding so mysty as when Reason discourses with them it is apt to be lost in the darkness of Ignorance Lastly for Beauty in men it is worse than unhansomeness in women for an ill-favour'd woman seems masculine as if she had an Heroick Spirit though she were a Coward to have a judicious Understanding though she should be a Fool to be Chaste although she were Wanton when on the contrary a beautiful man appears Effeminate Foolish and Cowardly when perchance he may be Wise and Valiant yet 't is Beauty makes him seem otherwise and for the most part a beautiful man is more nice and curious about his person as in his cloathing dressing trimming perfuming powdering curling and some will pomate and paine themselves all which seems to me preposterous to men insomuch as I could as soon be amorously affected with my own Sex as those that are accounted beautiful men and you might sooner be jealous of Age than Youth with a Sun-burnt face and a wither'd skin than a face that looks as if it had not seen the Sun or the Sun it nor felt the nipping Frost nor parching Wind but I hope you have a better opinion of your self than to be jealous as to think I can like any man better or so well as you And if you have not so good an opinion of me us to believe I am constantly honest yet I have such an assurance of my self as to know I am not liable to be corrupted and I am so Chaste as I have not a thought subject to fully the purity of my chaste Mind and honest Heart Sage I believe you Exeunt Scene 40. Enter Roger Trusty as to his Master Sir VVilliam Lovewell LOvewell What is the matter Roger that you are come Trusty And 't please your Worship my Lady hath sent me to know how your VVorship is in health Lovewell VVhy very well How does she Trusty She 's well but that she 's afraid your VVorship 's kill'd Lovewell If I were kill'd I were past sickness or health But who should kill me Trusty Nay that her Ladyship could not guess Lovewell Return home to your Lady and tell her I shall be with her within an hour Trusty I dare not leave your VVorship for she hath sent me to guard and protect you from all harm and to fight in your quarrel and hath sent one of the Foot-boys to bring her word how your VVorship doth Lovewell Go you and return back and tell your Lady from me that Honesty Civility and Courage is a sufficient Guard and Protection if not then my Sword and my
Love than you want love to give Desert Sage Prethee VVife be not griev'd nor angry for 't is natural for Love to be suspicious wherefore pray forgive my doubts Chastity My nature is to forgive and not to bear a grudge or spleen in minde Sage Then we are friends again Chastity My love is still the same not to be alter'd Exeunt Scene 7. Enter Mistris Single the Lady Jealousies sister and Raillery Jester the Fool MIstris Single Fool How many degrees is there in Understanding Iester Three Single Distinguish them Iester There is a Coelestial Understanding a Terrestrial Understanding and an Understanding betwixt both as an Airestial Understanding Those that are Coelestial are wise men those that are Terrestrial are fools and those that are betwixt both as Airestial are half-witted men Single I thought you would have said that those that were Terrestrial were beasts Iester O no for beasts are one degree above wise men two degrees above half witted men and three degrees above fools Single But how will you make that good that beasts are wiser than wise men Iester By all their actions for beasts for the most part are more industrious prudent temperate and peaceable than the best of men neither do they trouble their heads nor break their sleeps about the trifles of the World but govern their Affairs easily and live orderly every several kind agreeing amongst themselves besides we are taught to imitate the Serpent and the Dove and Examples are Principles and the Original is to be preferr'd before the Copy the Sample before the Pattern Thus a Beast is preferr'd before a Wise man by reason all Men must learn of Beasts to be wise and of Birds to be virtuously honest as to be harmless Exeunt Scene 8. Enter the Lady Hypocondria and her Maid Joan. MAid Ioan. Certainly Madam you will starve your self with eating so little Hypocon. Why a little serves Nature Ioan. Yes but there are great differences betwixt Natures for mankind requires more food than some kind of beasts or birds for a man would be starv'd if he should eat no more than a Dormouse or a Camelion or a Sparrow Hypocon. But a Sparrow cannot eat so much as an Eagle nor an Eagle so much as an Estrich Likewise as it is with Bird-kind so it is with Mankind some would starve with that proportion another would surfet on Ioan. But surely there are none that could surfet with your diet as with Water and Air nay most commonly nothing but Air Camelion-like for you oft times for a week together neither eat bit nor drink a drop and that which makes me wonder more is that you naturally have a very good stomach and can eat when you please very heartily and it thrives well with you but my greater wonder is that when you do fast eating now and then a bit week after week nay moneth after moneth yet you are not so lean as to appear a Skeleton nor so weak but you can walk two hours without resting or being very weary Hypocon. Oh Custome is a second Nature Ioan Ioan. I would have your Ladyship accustome your self to live without eating and then you will be set in a Chronicle Hypocon. Who would strive for that since most think Chronologers are Artificers and that their Chronicles are false Ioan. Why some will believe it and it were better to live in the memory of a few than to die to all memory and to live by nothing Hypocon. I would have my Fame live only by singular and transcending Merits not by singular and melancholy Follies I know my Errors though I cannot mend my Faults Exeunt ACT II. Scene 9. Enter the Lady Procurer and the Lady VVanton PRocurer Well Madam you are to give me thanks for bringing you acquainted with Monsieur Amorous for he is as fine a Gentleman as any our Nation hath Wanton Indeed he is the most obligingst person as ever I met with but pray Madam what said he of me Procurer O he raves in your praise He says you are the finest sweetest fairest and kindest Lady that ever was but did not your Husband examine you when you came home Wanton No 'faith not much some slight questions he ask'd but come into my Chamber and there let us discourse of Monsieur Amorous Exeunt Scene 10. Enter the Lady Jealousie beating her Maid Nan JEalousie I will make you humbler than to give me such unmannerly words What had you to do in my Husbands your Masters Chamber Nan I went to speak with Tom my Masters barber Iealousie What had you to do with your Masters barber I am sure you had no use for him but I will beat you so as you shall not be able to stir much less to go frisking into your Masters Chamber so often as you do Falls a beating her again Nan runs crying from her Lady her Lady follows her Enters Raillery Jester the Fool Fool. What a Volly of words their gun-powder breath and the fire-lock of their anger hath shot into my Ears giving me no warning to baracade them up but hath surprized my brain by their sudden assault and hath blown up the Magazines of my Contemplations but all creatures love to make a noise beasts vocally men verbally and some actually in boysterous deeds Enter Mistris Single Single How now Fool what 's the matter Fool. Why this is the matter fool thy Sister fool hath beaten her Maid fool for kissing her Master fool Single For kissing her Masters fool say you Fool. Nay by'r Lady if she had done so she had been wise for if she had kiss'd me she had not been beaten but she did not kiss me Ergo she 's a fool Exeunt Scene 11. Enter the Lady Hypocondria and Sir VVilliam Lovewell her Husband HYpocondria Husband why seem you so sad Lovewel My love to you makes me sad Hypocondria To me Heaven bless me what do you see in me to make you sad Lovewel Why for these passions and frights that you fall into like one in an Epilepsie and now you look as pale as if you were ready to fall down dead Hypocon. Alas Husband consider it is a timorous effect of Love which is to be pardon'd since it proceeds from the kindness I have to my Friends it is honourable to the World and no dishonour to you but only troublesome to my self and to those I naturally love as Husband Children Father Mother Brothers and Sisters And though fond Love and vain Fears may be produced from the melancholy Spleen yet those fears that proceed from my firm true and honest Affection are created in the Soul for noble and honourable and honest Fears are the natural Issues of pure Love Lovewel But Reason the chief Magistrate of the Soul and Governour of the Passions should temper the Excess Hypocon. O Husband when Love comes to be temper'd it loses or quits the essential part and the vertical strength for true Love is pure like gold which is debased with an allay
Lovewel But as Allay makes gold work better for use so Temperance makes Love Happy for life Hypocon. Well Husband I will strive to love with Discretion Lovewel Pray do and goe abroad to divert your melancholy and eat as others do that may have good meat and drink and not live by the Air as you do Hypocon. I shall obey you Exeunt Scene 12. Enter the Lady Inconstant alone LAdy Inconstant O Cupid thou art a cruel Tyrant making more wounds than remedies And I am wounded so as I am sick with Love and cannot live unless I am belov'd again To make my Passions know is all my care Lest he should love me not is all my fear Exeunt Scene 13. Enter the Lady Procurer and Sir Thomas Cuckold LAdy Procurer Sir Thomas Cuckold Monsieur Amorous desires very much to make friendship with you for he is so taken with your Civilities and your courteous Demeanors when he was to visit you that he swears you are one of the finest Gentlemen in the Kingdome He says you are so gravely wise so hospitably kind and so generously free as he honours you and loves you with his soul Cuckold I am his very humble Servant and shall be glad nay proud of such a worthy Friend as Monsieur Amorous Procurer Have you returned his Visit Cuckold No but I 'll go wait upon him immediatly Exeunt Scene 14. Enter Nan the Lady Jealousies Maid going through the room crying and the Fool following her singing FOol Childrens eyes are always flowing Womens tongues are always going And mens brains are always musing And mans natures all abusing And mans life is always running And mans death is always comming Enter Mistris Single Single VVhose death is comming Fool. Yours for any thing I know wherefore take heed for let me tell you Death is a rough fellow for he pulls the soul out of the body as a Barber-Chirurgeon doth a tooth sometimes with less pain sometimes with more but many times Death is forc'd to tear the body as a Tooth-drawer tears the jaw-bone before he can get it out Single VVhat Instruments doth Death draw out the Soul with Fool. Sickness VVounds Passions Accidents and the like Single But how came Death and you so well acquainted Fool. VVe are near a Kin for Death and Ignorance are Cousin-Germans Single 'Faith thou art rather a Knave than a Fool and a Knave is nearer a-kin to Life than Death Exeunt Scene 15. Enter the Lady Disagree and her Chaplin Master Perswader DIsagree VVell I am resolv'd to be Divorced from my Husband for I cannot endure his tyranny any longer for he will let me have my will in nothing crosses and contradicts me in every thing Perswader Madam we are taught to obey and humble our selves to our Superiours and the Husband is the Master of his Family the Governour of his Estate and Ruler and Disposer of his Children the Guide and Protector of his VVife Disagree Yes he protects me well indeed when he breaks my head Perswader May be your Ladyship doth provoke him with some unkind words Disagree VVhat unkind words were they I only said that Goos-quils made the best pens to write with and he said no that Crows-quils were better for that purpose 't is true at last I returned as bad words as he flung at me Perswader Truly Madam it is a great grief to your friends and servants to see yoo live so disquietous together besides you torment your selves with your own anger Disagree That 's the reason I would part for I will never be a slave to his humour I will rather chuse to die first Exeunt Scene 16. Enter Sir Humphrey Disagree and Master Makepeace his Friend SIr Hum. Disagree It were better we were parted than to live in a perpetual war together Makepeace But Sir is it not possible to temper your Passion Disagree No truly for her words are so sharp and pierce so deep that they make me as furious as a wilde Boar that is hurt with a Javelin And since she cannot temper her Tongue nor I temper my Passion it will be best for us to live asunder for absence is the best and most certain remedy I can think of Scene 17. Enter two Serving-men of Sir VVilliam Lovewels 1 SErvant Have not you heard that my Master hath had a Quarrel and is wounded 2 Servant Yes and 't is said he fought so valiantly as he beat half a dozen lusty men and followed them so close as they were forc'd to take shelter and I have also heard that one of them he beat swears to be revenged 1 Servant But if my Lady hears of it she will run mad or die 2 Servant O no my Lady Ioan says hath left those follies and is become discreet 1 Servant Discreet what is that to be ill-natur'd as not to care if her Husband or Friends be kill'd 2 Servant O yes so much to care as to pity them and be sorry nay sad if they should be kill'd but not passionately to drown themselves in tears or to let their grief feed on their life and die Exeunt Scene 18. Enter Monsieur Amorous and Sir Thomas Cuckold They meet each other and imbrace as two dear Friends CUckold O my sweet Amorous Amorous O my dear Cuckold the delight of my Life Cuckold 'Faith Amorous I have been to seek you all the Town over and my Lady Procurer met me and sent me to the other end of the City telling me you were at the Horn-Tavern Amorous Why do you not know her humour she will serve you twenty such tricks for she is the veriest Wag in all the Town although she is in years Cuckold Well if I be not even with her as very a Wag as she is let me be condemn'd for a fool Exeunt ACT III Scene 19. Enter a Maid as to her Lady the Lady Hypocondria MAid O Madam my Master is comming home being wounded in a Duel The Lady swouns Maid Help help my Lady my Lady Enter Joan her Maid Ioan. What 's the matter Maid My Lady is kill'd with the report of my Masters being hurt Ioan. It were fit you should be punish'd for telling her of it They raise the Lady and bow her forward She revives but with a groan Lady groans Oh oh Ioan. Take life again for my Master is not so much hurt as to be in danger of Death Hypocon. Do you speak this as a known truth or for to recover me Ioan. As a truth upon my Conscience Madam Hypocon. Then I charge you do not discover my Passion Ioan. We shall not Exeunt Scene 20. Enter Sir VVilliam Lovewell and two of his men and his Man Roger Trusty LOvewell Go and give charge to my Footmen that none of them run home to tell my Wife of my hurt for fear of frighting her for if she hears I am hurt before she sees me she will apprehend me worse than I am and that may kill her Servant Sir she hath heard of it already
Procurer LAdy Wanton Prethy my Lady Procurer go into the Country with us since we shall have such good Company this Summer as Monsieur Amorous we will be so merry and have such sports and pastimes as you shall not repent your journey Procurer Faith Madam I cannot besides you have no use of me now Wanton I am not as many others are that when they can make no more use of a friend they strive to shun their Company Procurer Well if I can go with you I will but I doubt I cannot at lest I cannot stay above a week or such a time with you Wanton Nay if I once get you there I will make you stay Exeunt Scene 28. Enter Mistriss Single alone MIstriss Single What a troublesome life is a Married life bless me Heaven who would Marry Enter Raillery Jester at her last words Fool. That would you if you could get a Husband for Maids long to be Wives and Wives longs to be Widows that they might Marry again Single That is because Maids do not know the vexations of Marriage which Wives do Fool. Faith Women take a pleasure in being vext crost and injured for then they have a ground for their anger and revenge is the sweetest and dearest imployment they have or would wish to have otherwise they would be dull and idle without it and to prove it Widows are as earnest and industrious to Marry as Maids and all is because they would be vext and crost Single And are not men as desirous and hasty to Marry as Women Fool. Yes those that are Fools Single Why then you should marry if any VVoman would have you Fool. Such Fools as I never or very seldom Marry for though we are Christened Fools we were Born VVise where other men were Born Fools but Christened VVise as bearing the name of VVise and understanding Men so as they have only the name but not the wisdome the Truth is we Fool and other men are fool'd Single Then VVomen are Born VVise for they Fool Men Fool. Nay saith poor Souls they are for the most part double fool'd first thinking they fool and then in being fooled Enter a Maid of the Lady Jealousy's Maid Mistriss my Lady is very angry that you let your Lute-Master stay whilst you talk to the fool she says you will be as much a fool as he with talking so often with him Single Tell my Sister I shall learn more good from the fool than the fidler Fool. Mark you that Maid Maid I mark that Children and Fools keep company together Fool. And the Maids and the Master Exeunt ACT IV. Scene 29. Enter two Maids of the Lady Hypocondria 1 MAid Alas my poor Lady looks as if she would drop to the earth so pale and ill 2 Maid How should she be otherwise for she smothers in her grief and dares not discover it and then she seldom sleeps or eats or drinks and is so restless as she cannot sit still but walks about her Chamber Exeunt Scene 30. Enter the Lady Hypocondria and a Doctor LAdy Hypocondria O Master Doctor what do you think of my Husband I hope he is in no danger is he Doctor I dare assure you Madam he will be very well again for he is only weak and faint with loss of blood for he taking the wound to be slight did not take care to stop it soon enough whereupon his Spirits with his blood issued out so much as makes him so weak as you see he is forc'd to keep his Bed Hypocondria But Doctor Spirits is life and if he wants the one he must soon lose the other Doctor 'T is true if there were no Spirits left but let me tell you Madam there is more danger when the Body hath too many Spirits than when there is but a few for many Spirits make the Body too hot by giving the Pulse too quick a motion which quick motion fires the heart so much as the blood becomes boyling hot which Perboyls the Liver and the rest of the vital parts and melts the fat wastes the flesh and weakens the Sinnews or Nerves as being boyled as to a soft tender quaking Jelly that is the cause that the Sick is so weak they cannot stand having not that tough strength in their Sickness and some after their sickness and shall continue weak untill such time as the Sinnews and Nerves grow harder and tough again and many times from the boyling blood there arises such gross and so many Vapours which Vapours is Smoak as they stifle the life or at least disquiet the Brain Hypocondria But will you assure me Doctor Doctor As far as Human skill can assure you I will The Doctor goes out The Lady Hypocondria alone Hypocondria Fair Iuno hear me send to thy Brother Pluto to imprison Death in his dark Vault or at least for to forbid him to touch my Husband and fair Goddess send health to raise his weary limbs from off his hated Couch if not give order to grim Death to strike me too for thou hast power on all as being chief in power Enter her Maid Maid Madam my Master desires you would be pleased to come to him Exeunt Scene 31. Enter Monsieur Disguise alone MOnsieur Disguise I will not only make me a Garland but a Bower of Willow where I will sit and lament all forsaken Lovers nay I will sit and Curse so long till I have laid those Curses so thick together as neither sighs nor tears nor prayers shall dissolve them Exit Scene 32. Enter the Lady Procurer and Monsieur Amorous LAdy Procurer I am come to bring you good news Monsieur Amorous Amorous What is that my comfortable Lady Procurer The Lady Wanton is come to Town Amorous Pluto Procurer What do you swear because she is come to Town Amorous No I swear because I must go out of Town Procurer I hope you will not go out of the Town now she is come to town Amorous Alas my occasions are such as I shall be utterly ruined if I stay Procurer Then let me tell you the Lady Chastity begins to listen to your Sute Amorous And is there hopes I shall enjoy her Procurer I cannot tell Amorous Nay Dear Lady speak some comfort Procurer It is a folly if you must go into the Country Amorous Neptune shall swallow the Country rather than I will endanger to lose a Paradise Procurer But if you stay you will be ruined Amorous I rather shall be ruined if I go for now I have considered it I find I have such potent affairs here in the City as they will force me to stay Procurer O Iupiter how Inconstant is Mankind for what they have enjoyed they despise and what they cannot get they earnestly desire and are restless in the pursute Amorous What say you Procurer I say you are an unthankfull Man and not worthy of a Ladyes favour as to forsake her that loves you and seek her that hates you for know the Lady Chastity scorns
spread and communicated over all the VVorld I begin with the First and prime Creature Ignorant Man Man takes himself to be the most knowing Creature for which he hath placed himself next to the Gods yet Man is ignorant for what Man is or ever was created that knows what the Gods are or how many there are Or what power they have or where they reside What Man did ever know the Mansions of Glory the Bowers of bliss or the Fields of pleasure What Man ever knew whether the Gods were Eternal or bred out of infinite or rule or govern infinite Eternally Secondly the Fates What Man is or ever was that knows the Fates As whether they are Gods or Creatures or whether the Fates are limited or decree as they please Or what Man is or ever was that knows the decrees of Fate the links of Destiny or the chance of Fortune or the lots of Chance Thirdly What Man is or ever was that knows what Nature is or from whence her power proceeds As whether from the Gods or Eternity or infinite or from the Fates Or whether the Gods or Fates proceed from her Or what at first set her to work Or whether her work is prescribed or limited Or of what she works on Or what instruments she worketh with Or to what end she works for Or whether she shall desist from working or shall work Eternally Or whether she worked from all Eternity Or whether her work had a beginning or shall have an ending What Man knows the beginning of Motion or the Fountain of Knowledge or the Spring of Life or Gulph of Death Or what Life is Or what Death is Or whether Life Motion and Death had a beginning or shall have an ending Fourthly the World VVhat Man is or ever was that knows how the VVorld was made Or for what it is made Or by whom it was made Or whether it had beginning or shall have end The Fift and last is Man VVhat Man is or ever was that knows how he was formed or of what composition or what is that he calls a Rational Soul VVhether it is imbodyed or not imbodyed VVhether it is Divine or Mortal VVhether it proceeds from the Gods or was created by Nature VVhether it shall live for ever or shall have a period VVhether it shall live in Knowledge or ly in Ignorance VVhether it be capable of pain or pleasure VVhether it shall have a residing place or no certain place assigned Or if it have none where it shall wander Or if it have where that residing place is As for the Body who knows the perfect Sense of each Sense or what mistake or illusions each Sense is apt to make or give or take VVhat Man knows how the Body dissolves or to what it shall dissolve VVhat Man knows whether there be Sense in Death or not VVhat Man knows the motion of the thoughts or whether the thoughts belong only to the Soul or only to the Body or partly to both or of neither VVhat Man is there that knows strength of passion As what Faith may beget Or what Doubts may dissolve Or what Hopes may unite Or what Fears may disorder Or what Love can suffer Or what Hate can act VVhat Man is there that knows the Circumpherence of Admiration the rigour of Adoration the hight of Ambition or the bottom of Covetousness Or what Man knows the end of Sorrow or beginning of Joy And as for the Appetites what Man knows the length and bredth of desire As for the Senses what Man is there that knows the true Sense of Pleasure or the uttermost bounds of Pain VVho can number the varieties of Tast Sent Touch Sound and Sight VVhat Man knows the perfect effects of each Sense Or what Man is there that knows any thing truly as it is Yet certainly there cannot be an Athest for though men may be so irrelligious as to be of no Religion yet their can be none so willfull and utterly void of all Sense and Reason as not to believe there is a God for though we have not the true light of knowledge yet we have as it were a perpetual twilight Man lives as at the poles of knowledge for though we cannot say it is truly day yet it is not night Man may perceive an Infinite power by the perfect distinctions of all particular varieties by the orderly production of several Creatures and by the fit and proper shapes of every several kind of Creature by their orderly Births by the times and Seasons to produce flourish and decay by the distinct degrees qualities properties places and motions of all things and to and in every thing by the exact form of this VVorld by the prudent seperations and situations of the Heavens and Earth by the Circumferent lines and poyzing Centers by their bounds and limits by their orderly and timely motions by their assigned tracts constant Journies convenient distances by their intermixing and well tempering of the Elements by the profitable Commerce betwixt the Heavens and the Earth by the different kinds several sorts various Natures numerous numbers of Creatures by their passions humours appetites by their Sympathies and Antipathies by their warrs and parties by the Harmony that is made out of discord shews that there is onely one absolute power and wise disposer that cannot be opposed having no Copartners produces all things being not produced by any thing wherefore must be Eternall and consequently infinite this absolute wise and Eternal power Man calls God but this absolute power being infinite he must of necessity be incomprehensible and being incomprehensible must of necessity be unknown yet glimses of his power is or may be seen yet not so but that Man is forced to set up Candels of Faith to light them or direct them to that they cannot perfectly know and for want of the clear light of knowledge Man calls all Creations of this mighty power Nature his wise decrees Man calls Fates his pointed will Man calls Destiny his several Changes Man calls Fortune his Intermixing Man calls Life his seperating Man calls Death the Sympathetical and Antipathetical motions of the Senses and their Objects Humours and their Subjects Man calls Pleasure and Pain the interchanging motions in Man Men call Sense and Knowledge the seperating motions Man calls Ignorance Stupidity and Insensibility my application is that this absolute Power wise Disposer and decreeing Creator hath created himself Worship in making Creatures to worship him and it is probable Truth decreed Judgment Punishment and Bliss to such of his Creatures as shall omit or submit thereunto my exhoration to you is to bough humbly to pray constantly to implore fervently to love truly to live awfully to the worship of this incomprehensible power that you may injoy bliss and avoid torment Exeunt ACT III Scene 8. Enter Monsieur NObilissimo and three or four Gentlemen Nobilissimo I wonder who brought up that careless fashion to go without their Swords and I wonder
this discourse is that since Self-love is the Fountain of and in Nature from whence issue out several Springs to every several Creature wherein Mankind being her chiefest and Supreme work is filled with the fullest Springs from that Fountain which is the cause that Mankind is more industrious cruel and unsatiable to and for his self ends than any other Creature he spares nothing that he hath power to destroy if he fears any hurt or hopes for any gain or finds any pleasure or can make any sport or to imploy his idle time he melts metalls distills and dissolves plants dissects animals substracts and extracts Elements he digs up the bowels of the Earth cuts through the Ocean of the Sea gathers the winds into Sails fresh waters into Mills and imprisons the thinner Ayre he Hunts he Fowls he Fishes for sport with Gunns Nets and Hooks he cruelly causeth one Creature to destroy another the whilst he looks on with delight he kills not only for to live but lives for to kill and takes pleasure in torturing the life of other Creatures in prolonging their pains and lengthning their Deaths and when Man makes friendship of Love it is for his own sake either in humouring his passion or feeding his humour or to strengthen his party or for Trust or Counsel or Company or the like causes if he dies for his friend it is either for fame or that he cannot live himself happy without his friend his passion and grief making him restless if Man loves his Children Wife or Parents t is for his own sake he loves his Parents for the honour he receives by them or for the life he received of them if he loves his Wife or the Wife the Husband it is for their own sakes as their own pleasure as either for their Beauties Wits Humours or other Graces or for their Company or Friendships or because they think they love them if they love their Children it is for their own sakes as to keep alive their memory and to have their duty and obedience to bow and do homage to them If Masters love their Servants it is for their own sakes because they are trusty faithfull and industrious in their affairs imployments or for their own profit or ease and if Servants love their Masters it is for their own sakes as either for their power to protect them or for the regard they have to them or for the gain they get from them or for their lives that are nourished and maintained by them if Amorous Lovers love it is for their own sakes as to please the Appetite and to satisfy their desires if Subjects love their Soveraigns it is for their own sakes as that they may have Law and Justice Peace and Unity If Sovereigns love their Subjects it is for their own sakes because they bear up his Throne with their Wealth and Industry and fight to maintain or get him power My Application most Noble and Right Honourable is that since we do all and in every act for our own sakes we should indeavour and study for that which is best for our selves and the ground of our indeavour is to learn and know our selves every particular person must learn and know himself not by comparative as observing others for every man is not alike but by self study reading our own Natures and Dispositions marking our own Passions mours and Appetites with the Pen of Thought and Ink of Examination and let the Truth be the Tutor to instruct you in the School of Reason in which you may Commence Master of Art and go out Doctor of Judgment to practise Temperance for Temperance keeps in its full strength prolongs Beauty quickens Wit ripens Youth refreshes Age restores Decayes keeps Health maintains Life and hinders Times ruines but Temperance is not only a Doctor of Physick a Physician to the Body but a Doctor of Divinity a Divine for the Soul It preaches and teaches good Life it instructs with the Doctrine of Tranquillity and guides to the Heaven of Happiness also Temperance is the Doctor of Musick it tunes the Senses composes the Thoughts it notes the Passions it measures the Appetites and playes a Harmonious Mind Thus Most Noble and Right Honourable I have proved that Self-love is the Fountain of Nature and the Original Springs of her Creatures and that Temperance is the strongest Foundation of Self-love although few build thereupon but upon Intemperance which is a huge Bulk of Excess the substance of Riot worm eaten with Surfers rotten with Pain and sinks down to death with Sickness and Grief not being able to bear and uphold Life wherefore build your Lives upon Temperance which is a strong and sure Foundation which will never fail but will uphold your Lives as long as Time and Nature permits them and your Souls will dwell peaceably and happily therein Exeunt ACT V. Scene 14. Enter Madamoiselle Amor alone as musing to her self alone then speaks MAdamoiselle Amor I will confess to him my Love since my designs are Noble but O for a woman to woo a man is against Nature and seems too bold nay impudent only by a contrary custome but why should not a woman confess she loves before she is wooed when after a seeming coyness gives consent as being won more by a Treaty than by Love when her obscure thoughts know well her heart was his at first bound as his prisoner and only counterfeits a freedome besides it were unjust although an antient custome if dissembling should be preferred before a Modern Truth for length of Time and often practices makes not Falshood Truth nor Wrong Right nor Evill Good then I will break down Customs Walls and honest Truth shall lead me on Love plead my Sute and if I be deny'd My heart will break and Death my Face will hide Exit Scene 15. Enter Monsieur Esperance and his Wife Madamoiselle Esperance MOnsieur Esperance Wife whither do you go when I come near you you always turn to go from me Madamoiselle Esperance I saw you not for I had rather be fixt as a Statue than move to your dislike Monsieur Esperance Why do you blush surely you are guilty of some crime Madamoiselle Esperance 'T is said blushing comes unsent for and departs without leave and that it oftner visits Innocency than guilt Madamoiselle Esperance weeps Monsieur Esperance What do you weep Madamoiselle Esperance How can I otherwise choose when my Innocent Life and True Love is suspected and all my pure affections are cast away like dross and the best of all my actions condemn'd as Traytors and my unspotted Chastity blemish'd with soul Jealousy and defamed with slandering words Monsieur Esperance Prethy Wife do not weep for every tear wounds me to Death and know it is my extreme Love which creates my fears but you might have had a Husband with more faults Madamoiselle Esperance 'T is true but not so many noble qualities as you have which makes
Wickedness are soon catcht and like the Plague they infect all they come near and Vanity Vice and Wickedness is soon learn'd when Virtue Goodness and Piety are hard Lessons for though Divines and natural Philosophers Preaches and so teaches them yet they are seldom understood for if they were the benefit would be known and men would pious and virtuous be for profits sake for Common-wealths that are composed and governed by Virtue Religion and good Life they are so strongly united by honest love as they become inpregnable against Forein Foes or home factions or temptations so live in peace and plenty which breeds both pleasure and delight for life doth never truly injoy it self but in rest ease and peace but to conclude most Noble and Right Honourable the Soul Sense and Education should be plain with Truth smooth with Virtue and bright with Piety or Zeal that the Body may live Easily the life Peaceably and that the Soul may be blessed with Everlasting Glory Exit Scene 2. Enter Monsieur Nobilissimo and three or four Gentlemen 1 GEntleman The Ladies of this Age are as inconstant as a fevourish pulse and their affections have more fainting sits than those are troubled with Epilepses 2 Gentleman Faith they will hang about ones neck one hour and spit in his Face the next 3 Gentleman That is because they would have variety for they respect Strangers more than friends for they will entertain Strangers with the civillest Behaviours fairest Faces and costliest Garments they have and make them welcome with their best Cheer when as their best Friends lovingest Servants and oldest Acquaintance they will neglect despise scorn command and rail against and quarrel with Nobilissimo O Gentlemen brave Cavaliers as you all are you must never complain discommend not condemn the Actions of the Effeminate Sex for that we are apt to call their Cruelty is their Justice our Sex meriting not their favours and whensoever we receive the least favours from that Sex we ought to give thanks as proceeding from a compassionate Goodness gentle Nature sweet Dispositions and generous Souls and not as a due or a debt for our service for we are bound by Nature not only to be their Servants but their Slaves to be lasht with their frowns if we be not diligent to their commands present at their calls industrious in their service and our neglects ought to be severely punished for we wear our lives only for their sakes as to defend their Honours to protect their Persons to obey their Commands and to please and delight their humours also the Estates we manage is theirs not ours we are but their Stuards to Husband and increase thier Stores to receive their Revenues and lay out their Expences for we have nothing we call our own since we our selves are theirs wherefore it is enough for us to admire their Beautyes to applaud their Wit to worship their Virtues and give thanks for their Favours Exeunt Scene 3. Enter Monsieur Esperance and his Wife Madamoiselle Esperance MOnsieur Esperance Wife why art thou all undrest to day Madamoiselle Esperance The truth is I am become negligent in dressing since you only esteem my Virtue not my Habit Monsieur Esperance I would have you change into as many several dresses as Protheus shapes for it is not the dress can make me Jealous now for I am confident no Vanity can corrupt thy Virtue but that thy Virtue can convert Vanity to a pious use or end Madamoiselle Well Husband I shall study to form my self and fashion my dress both to your fancy and desire Monsieur Esperance Do so Wife Monsieur Esperance goes out Madamoiselle Esperance alone Madamoiselle Esperance Ha is my Husband so confident of me it is an ill sign from extreme Jealousy to an extreme Confidence the next will be a Carelessness and then a Neglect and there is nothing my Nature doth more abhor than neglect for Jealousy proceeds from Love but Neglect proceeds from a despising if not a hating besides he desires variety of dresses which shows my Beauty is vaded or he is weary in viewing of one object often but I find his humour is wandring and seeks for change if he should prove false O how unhappy should I be for I am naturally honest also my birth and education hath been honest besides my affections are so fixt as not to be removed thus I am tyed and cannot take liberty which other women do for no divert the sorrows of my heart or to revenge my wrongs but I shall mourn and weep my self to Water and sigh my self to Ayre Exit ACT II. Scene 4. Enter Monsieur Nobilissimo and Madamoiselle Amor and Madamoiselle La Belle comes and peeps through the Hangings and sees them NObilissimo The bond of our Love is written in large profession but not sealed with the contracting kiss yet Monsieur Nobilissimo salutes his Mistriss Madamoiselle Amor her Sister Madamoiselle La Belle comes forth from behind the Hangings Madamoiselle La Belle So Sister are not you asham'd Madamoiselle Amor No truly for my love is so honest and the subject of my love so worthy as I am so far from being ashamed to own it as I glory in my affection Madamoiselle La Belle I only wonder that with so small acquaintaince such a familiar friendship should be made Madamoiselle Amor You have no cause to wonder for Innocency is easily known t is craft and subtilty that is obscure and treacherous falshood with leering Eyes doth at a distance stand when honestly and truth straight joyns in friendships bonds Nobilissimo My Sweet Innocent Virtuous Wise Mistriss Kisseth her hand Exeunt Scene 5. Enter Madamoiselle Detractor Madamoiselle Spightfull Madamoiselle Malicious and Madamoiselle Tell-truth TEll-truth I pitty poor Madamoiselle Bon Spightfull Why so Tell-truth Because she is forsaken Spightfull I cannot pitty a Fool Tell-truth Why she is no Fool Spightfull Yes Faith but she is to be constant to an unconstant man Malicious The truth is I think that woman wisest that forsakes before she is forsaken Tell-truth But how and if she meets with a constant man Detractor That she cannot do for there is no man constant for they are all false and more changing than women are Malicious If any should prove unconstant to me I would Pistoll him Tell-truth Yes with the Gunpowder breath the Bullets of words and the Fire of anger which will do them no hurt Spightfull The best revenge I know against an Inconstant Man is to despise him Tell-truth He will not care for your despisements but Patience Patience is the best remedy for then a woman will be content although she hath not her desires Malicious Can any Creature be content without the fruition of desire Tell-truth Those that cannot must be unhappy all their Life Detractor Then all Mankind is unhappy for I dare I swear there is not any that can be content without the fruition of desire for desire is
Madamoiselle Esperance Have I not reason Tell-truth No truly for a Man may do such light actions or speak merrily or solidly without an evill design only to pass a way idle time Madamoiselle Esperance Lord how idly you speak Cousin as to think men might idly pass away their time when Nature allows life no idle time for all things are growing or decaying feeding life or getting food for to nourish life or bearing or breeding for increase and man which only by his shape exceeds all other Creatures in Reason Knowledge and Understanding and will you have him cast away these supreme gifts of Nature with idle time would you have men follow the Sense only like a Beast and not to be guided by reason to some noble study or profitable action would you have them yield to their surfeting Appetites and not indeavour to temper them is Sickness less painfull than Health is Disorder to be prefer'd before Method or Inconveniency before Conveniency Warrs before Peace Famine before Plenty Vice before Virtue all which would be if idle time wery allow'd for Idleness never found out Arts nor Sciences or rules of Government nor the ease of Temperance nor the profit of Prudence nor the commands of Fortitude nor the peace of Justice which Industry produceth but Idleness brings Confusion Exeunt Scene 10. Enter Monsieur Heroick with his Sword bloody and meets his friend Monsieur Amy. AMy. What hast thou been doing that thy sword is bloody Heroick Fighting Amy. With whom Heroick I know not Amy. For what did you fight Heroick For nothing or at least as bad as nothing for that I never saw nor heard of nor knew where to find Amy. This is a strange quarrel that you neither know the man nor the cause it was a mad quarrel Heroick You say right for as for my part I had little reason to fight I know not what my opposite had but prithy friend go help him for he lyes yonder and I doubt he is deadly wounded the whilst I will seek a Chirurgion to send to him Amy. You had need seek one for your self for you bleed I see by your shirt Heroick Yes so I will but it shall be the Lady that was cause of the wounds and I will try if her Beauty can heal them Exeunt Scene 11. Enter Monsieur Nobilissimo and Madamoiselle Amor NObilissimo My sweet Mistriss what is the cause you look so pale and Melancholy Amor I hear you have forsaken me and making love to another which I no sooner heard but shook with fear like to a tender Plant blown by a Northern wind wherewith my blood congeal'd with cold my thoughts grew sad and gathered like black Clouds which makes my head hang down my face all wither'd pale and dry but did I love as many do for Person not for Mind your Inconstancy would be a less Crime but were your Body as curious made as Natures skill could form you and not a Soul answerable I might Admire you but not Love you with adoration as I do Nobilissimo Fear not for as thy Tongue unlocks my Ears so it locks up my Heart from all thy Sex but thee and as a Cabinet doth keep thy Picture there Amor Heaven grant my Tongue may never rust but move with words as smoothed with Oyl turned by the strength of Wit easy and free Nobilissimo Dear Mistriss banish this Jealousy it may in time corrupt pure love and be you confident of my Affection as of your own Virtue Amor Your kind words I will take for a sufficient Seal and never doubt the Bond that Love hath made Exeunt Scene 12. Enter Monsieur Phantasie wounded being lead between Madamoiselle Bon and Monsieur Amy he seems to be so faint as not to pass any further but is forced to ly down Madamoiselle sits by him AMy. I will go fetch more help and Chirurgions Monsieur Amy goes out Madamoiselle Bon stayes and holds her Arm under his head Phantasie I am wounded more with thoughts of Sorrow than with my opposites Sword and wish that Death would strike me in thy Arms that I might breath my last there offer up my Soul upon the Altar of thy Breast and yield my life a Sacrifice unto thy Constancy Madamoiselle Bon. May Death exchange and take my life that is useless to the World and spare yours for noble actions to build a fame thereon Phantasie Speak not so Madamoiselle Bon. If my words offend you my tongue for ever shall be Dumb Phantasie No it is your Wish offends and not your Words for they are Musick to my Ears or like to drops of Balsom powr'd therein to heal my wounded Soul Madamoiselle Bon. If that my words could cure your wounds that bleed rather than want I le speak till all my breath were spent no life to form words with She weeps Phantasie Why do you weep Madamoiselle Bon. To see you bleed but if you bleed to Death I will weep to Death and as life issues through your Wounds so shall life issue through my Eyes and drown it self in floods of tears Phantasie Forbear let not the Earth drink up those tears those precious tears the Gods thirst after Enter Men and take him up and lay him forth Exeunt Scene 13. Enter Madamoiselle Grand Esprit and her Audience GRand Esprit Venus thou Goddess fair for thy Sons sake Cupid the God of Love O let me make A Banquet of sweet Wit to entertain This Noble Company and feast each brain And let each several Ear feed with delight Not be disturb'd with foul malicious spight Noble and Right Honourable I shall take my discourse at this time out of Beauty the ground of which discourse is Eyes Eyes are the Beauty of Beauty for if the Eyes be not good the face though ne'r so fair or otherwise well featur'd cannot be pleasing the truth is Eyes are the most Curious Ingenious Delightfull and Profitable work in Nature Curious in the Aspect and Splendor Ingenious in the form and fashion Delightfull in the Society and Profitable in their Commerce Trade and Traffick that they have with all the rest of Natures works for had not Nature made Eyes all her works had been lost as being buryed in everlasting darkness for it is not only Light that shews her works but Eyes that see her works wherefore if Nature had not made Eyes she had lost the glory of Admiration and Adoration which all her Animal Creatures give her begot raised or proceeding from what they see besides not only Light the presenter of objects would have been lost but Life would have been but only a dull Melancholy Motion for want of sight and for want of sight life would have wanted knowledge and so would have been ignorant both of its self and Nature but now life takes delight by the fight through the Eyes and is inamor'd with the Beauties it views and the Eyes do not only delight themselves and life with what they receive but
with what they send forth for Eyes are not only passages to let Light Coulours Forms and Figures in but to let Passions Affections Opinions out besides the Eyes are not only as Navigable Seas for the Animal Spirits to Traffick on and Ports to Anchor in but they are the Gardens of the Soul wherein the Soul sits and refreshes it self and Love the Sun of the Soul sends forth more glorious Rayes than that Sun in the Sky and on those objects they do shine they both comfort and give a nourishing delight but yet when the light of love doth reflect the heat doth increase by double lines and quickness of motion which causes many times a Distemper of the Thoughts which turns to a Feavor in the Mind but to conclude most Noble and Right Honourable Eyes are the Starrs which appear only in the Animal Globe to direct the life in its Voyage not only to places that life knows but to new discoveryes and these Animal Starrs do not only guide the Animal life but have an influence and various effects on the Soul and are not only to view the Beauties of all the other works of Nature but are the chiefest Beauties themselves and if that Reason that is the Educator of the Life and chief Ruler and Commander of the Soul did not cross and hinder the influence of these Animal Starrs they would prove very fatal to many a one Wherefore Right Honourable my Application is that you obey Reason and pray unto it as to a Deity that it may divert the Malignant influences and cause them to point to a Happy Effect For which my good wishes shall attend you That the Gods of these Starrs may defend you Exeunt ACT IV. Scene 14. Enter Monsieur Nobilissimo and Monsieur Heroick NObilissimo Brother I may bid you welcome home for I have not seen you these two years methinks between Brothers as you and I are should never be absence Heroick No faith Brother for we never have good fortune when we are asunder for since I patted I hear you are to be Marryed and I must tell you I am like to be Hanged Nobilissimo Heaven forbid you should be hanged Heroick And do not you make the same Prayer against your Marriage Nobilissimo No for that prayer would prove a Curse if Heaven should grant it but I hope Brother you speak of this but merrily and not as a truth to believed that you are like to be hanged Heroick Yes faith I met with a man that was resolv'd to fight with the next he met I think for he forced a quarrel and we fought and I fear I have killed him Nobilissimo What was the cause of the quarrel Heroick Why about a Beauty that none must admire but himself and yet they must maintain she is the absolutest Beauty of her Sex and such a Beauty I hear of every where but I cannot see her any where Nobilissimo Let me tell you Brother she is worth the seeing Heroick And is she worth the blood and life that is lost and spilt for her Nobilissimo Yes if it had been to maintain her Beauty against rude Despisers or her Virtue against base Detractors or her Honour against wicked Violators for her Soul hath as many beautifull graces and Virtues and her mind as many noble qualities as her body hath beautifull Parts Lineaments gracefull Motions pleasing Countenances lovely Behaviour and courteous Demeanors Heroick Certainly Brother you are very well acquainted with her that you know her so well as to speak so confident of her Nobilissimo Yes Brother I do know her very well for she is Sister to my Mistriss Heroick So I thought she had some relation to you that you spake so much in her praise this Self-love bribes all our Tongues but Brother you have so fired my Spirits as I am almost as mad as the Gentleman I fought with before I see her meerly with the report and since I must lose my Wits with the rest of Mankind for I find all are mad that come within the list of her Name pray let me part with my Wits on Honourable terms as at the view of her Beauty Nobilissimo I shall make it a request to her that you may see her and she being a person who is very obliging I make no question but she will receive your civil and humble respects Exeunt Scene 15. Enter Monsieur Esperance and his Wife Madamoiselle Esperance MAdamoiselle Esperance Husband do you love me Monsieur Esperance Yes Madamoiselle Esperance Better than any other Woman Monsieur Esperance I can make no comparison Madamoiselle Esperance Why do you then neglect me so much as to take no notice whether I be fine and brave or ragged or patcht or ilfavoured or handsom and yet you take notice of every other woman from the stranger abroad to the Kitchin-Maid at home Monsieur Esperance By my troth Wife I do so just as I would do of a Tree or a Bush or a Stone or a Brake or a Fox or an Ass and no otherwise Madamoiselle Esperance Yet it is a sign you have them in your mind and I had rather be hated than forgotten wherefore pray let me be sometimes in your thoughts although as a Bryar and not to be flung out Root and Branch Monsieur Esperance Heaven forbid Wife you should become a Thorn in my Mind but thou art there as my Soul nor do I love you at a common rate for were thy person more deformed than ever Nature made either by Sickness or Casualty I still should love thee for thy Virtuous Soul and though your person is very handsom yet I consider not your Beauty but your Health so you be well I care not how you look for my love is at that height as it is beyond the body grown for should I only love you for your Beauty when that is decayed my love must of necessity dy if Beauty were the life Madamoiselle Esperance So then I am only your spiritual love and you will chuse a temporal one elsewhere Monsieur Esperance Prethee be not Jealous of me because I am become assured of your Chastity for know I could sooner hate my self than love or amorously affect any other woman but thy self and when I prove false to you may Iupiter cast me to Plutoes Court there to be tormented Eternally Madamoiselle Esperance Well pardon this fit of Jealousy for I shall never question your affection more nor doubt your Constancy Exeunt Scene 16. Enter Madamoiselle La Belle and her Sister Madamoiselle Amor MAdamoiselle La Belle To quarrel and fight for me is strange for as for the one I never saw and the other I have no acquaintance with but had I favoured the one or affronted the other or had favoured them both it might have raised a dispute from a dispute to a quarrel from a quarrel to a duell but many times men make a seeming love the occasion to shew their courage to get
declared she will never marry Malicious That is all one for men will persue their desires and live of Hopes so long as there is any left Spightfull Well the worst come to the worst we shall only live old Maids Tell-truth But not old Virgins Exeunt Scene 20. Enter Madamoiselle Grand Esprit her two Sisters Madamoiselle Amor and Madamoiselle La Belle as Brides and Monsieur Nobilissimo and Monsieur Heroick his Brother as Bridegrooms and a Company of Bridal guests all as her Audience GRand Esprit Great Hymen I do now petition thee To bless my Sisters not to favour me Unless I were thy subject to obey But I am Diana's and to her do pray But give me leave for to decide the cause And for to speak the truth of marriage laws Or else through ignorance each man and wife May rebels prove by Matrimonial strife Noble and Right Honourable From the root of Self-love grows many several Branches as Divine Love Moral Love Natural and Sympathetical Love Neighbourly and Matrimonial Love Divine Love is the Love to the Gods Moral Love is the Love to Virtue Natural Love is the Love to Parents and Children Sympathetical Love is of Lovers or Friendships Neighbourly Love is the Love of Acquaintance and true Matrimonial Love is the Love of United Souls and Bodyes but I shall only insist or discourse at this time for my Sisters sakes of Matrimonial Love this Matrimonial Love is the first imbodyed Love that Nature created for as for Divine Love and Moral Love they are as incorporeal as the Soul and Sympathetical and Matrimonial Love which I will joyn as Soul and Body were before Natural or Neighbourly Love for Marriage beget Acquaintance and none lives so neer nor converses so much as man and wife and there was a Sympathy and Conjunction of each Sex before there were Children and there could be no Parents before there were Children thus Matrimonial Love was the first substantial Love and being the Original and producing Love ought to be honoured and preferr'd as the most perfect and greatest Love in Nature but mistake me not Noble and Right Honourable when I say the greatest Love in Nature I mean not the Supernatural Love as Divine Love as to the Gods but this Matrimonial Love I say is to be the most respected as the Original Love like as Nature is to be honoured and preferred before the Creatures she makes so Matrimonial Love ought to be respected first as being the cause of Friendly Sociable Neighbourly and Fatherly Love wherefore man and wife ought to forsake all the world in respect of each other and to prefer no other delight before each others good or content for the Love of Parents and Children or any other Love proceeding from Nature ought to be waved when as they come in Competition with the Love man and wife for though Matrimonial Love is not such a Divine Love as from man to the Gods yet it is as the Love of Soul and Body also it is as a Divine Society as being a Union but Right Honourable to tell you my opinion is that I belive very few are truly married for it is not altogether the Ceremony of the Church nor State that makes a true marriage but a Union and indissoluble Conjunction of Souls and Bodyes of each Sex wherefore all those that are allowed of as man and wife by the Church State and Laws yet they are but Adulterers unless their Souls Bodyes and Affections are united as one for it s not the joyning of hands speaking such words by Authentical persons nor making of vows and having Witnesses thereof that makes a true marriage no more than an Absolution without a Contrition makes a holy man wherefore dear Sisters and you two Heroick Worthies marry as you ought to do or else live single lives otherwise your Children will be of a Bastard kind and your associating but as Beasts which are worse than Birds for they orderly chuse their Mates and lovingly fly and live together and equally labour to build their nest to feed their young and Sympathetically live and love each other which order and love few married persons observe nor practice but after all this even those marriages that are the perfectest purest lovingest and most equallest and Sympathetically joyned yet at the best marriage is but the womb of trouble which cannot be avoided also marriage is the grave or tomb of Wit for which I am resolved for my part to live a single life associating my self with my own Thoughts marrying my self to my own Contemplations which I hope to conceive and bring forth a Child of Fame that may live to posterity and to keep a-live my Memory not that I condemn those that marry for I do worship married persons as accounting them Saints as being Martyrs for the good cause of the Common-wealth Sacrificing their own Happiness and Tranquillity for the weal publick for there is none that marries that doth not increase their Cares and Pains but marriage Unites into Familyes Familyes into Villages Villages into Cities Cities into Corporations Corporations into Common-wealths this increase keeps up the race of Mankind and causes Commerce Trade and Traffick all which associates men into an Agreement and by an Agreement men are bound to Laws by Laws they are bound to Punishments by Punishments to Magistrates and by Magistrates and Punishments to Obedience by Obedience to Peace and Defence in which Center of Peace my dear Sisters I wish you may live and be guarded with the Circumference of Defence that nothing may disturb or indanger you or yours and that you may live in true marriage and increase with united love blest with Virtuous Children and inrich'd with prudent Care and Industry also I wish and pray that Jealousy may be banished from your Thoughts Pains and Sickness from your Bodyes Poverty from your Familyes evill Servants from your Imployments Disobedience from your Children And that Death may not rob you of your breed But after your life your Children may succeed FINIS An Epilogue spoken by the Lady True-Love O How my heart doth ake when think I do How I a modest Maid a man did woo To be so confident to woo him here Upon the publick Stage to every Ear Men sure will censure me for mad if not To be in some unlucky Planet got Or else will tax me of dishonesty As seeming like a bold immodesty Well I have woo'd yet am I not despis'd But am by Virtuous honour highly priz'd Because my Love was spotless pure and Chast And on a noble worthy man was plac'd Then why should I blush weep or yet repent Or shun the wooing part to represent But rather joy and glory in my choice If you approve my Act pray giv 't a voice THE ACTORS NAMES The Arch-Prince The Lord Dorato The Lord Melancholy the Lord Doratoes Son Sir Thomas Gravity the Lord Doratoes Brother The Lady Gravity Sir Thomas's Wife The Lady Perfection the Lady Gravities
Husband is taken away from her as his wife was from him but leaving this siege let us return to our own homes Exeunt Scene 33. Enter the Lord Melancholy as the Grate of the Cloyster of the Lady Perfection then she draws the Curtain before the Grate and appears to him LOrd Melancholy Madam yesterday when you were pleased to speak with me as now through this Grate you were pleas'd to tell me your Vows were so binding as they could not be dissolved wherefore I am not now come to examine or perswade nor to trouble your Devotions or to hinder your Meditations but to take my last leave for I shall never see you more at least not in this VVorld Lady Perfection Are you going to Travel Lord Melancholy I cannot say my body is going a far Journey I know not what my Soul may do Lady Perfection Shall not they go together Lord Melancholy No Death will make a divorce as the Law did betwixt you and I Lady Perfection Are you resolved to dye Lord Melancholy Yes Lady Perfection VVhy so Lord Melancholy To be at rest and peace for know that ever since I was last married my life hath been a Hell my Mind was tortured with thoughts of discontent and though I am releast from what I did dislike my mind is restless still for what it would enjoy this resolution is not new it hath been long considered for since I cannot live with that I love better than life I le try whether the passions of the Soul doe with the Body dye if so Death will be happy because it hath no sense nor feeling Lady Perfection How long have you been resolved of leaving life Lord Melancholy I have pondered of it ever since I was last Married but was not resolved untill you enter'd into this Order Lady Perfection Can I not perswade you to live Lord Melancholy Not unless you break your Vow Lady Perfection That I may not do Lord Melancholy Nor can I perswade you for I love your Constancy Lady Perfection Will you grant me one request before you dy Lord Melancholy Yes any thing but what may hinder my dying Lady Perfection Swear to me you will Lord Melancholy I swear by Heaven and Love I will Lady Perfection Then the time you are resolved to dye come hither and dye here that I may bear you Company dying the same minute if I can that you do Lord Melancholy How Lady Perfection Nay you have sworn it and if it be best for you it will be so for me for when you are dead I shall possess those torments that you in life feel now and if you love me so well as you express you do you will not desire to leave me to endure that you cannot suffer Lord Melancholy 'T is fit you should live to be a President to the World Lady Perfection Were I a President fit for the World to follow yet the World would not practice my precepts it is too bad to follow what is good and since my life cannot better the World and Death will ease my life of that which will trouble and afflict it I am resolv'd to dye And in the grave will bear you Company Lord Melancholy I do accept of thy dear Company Heaven so joyn our Souls they never may be separated and to morrow we will leave the World Lady Perfection Let me advise you concerning the manner of our Deaths get a Sword pointed sharp at both ends and when we are to dye put one end of the Sword through this grate and just when you set your heart to the end towards you I will set mine to the end towards me and thrusting forward as to meet each other the several points will make several passages or wounds into our several or rather our own united hearts and so we dye just together Lord Melancholy I shall follow your advice and be here to morrow at the time Which time will seem to me like as an Age Till that our Souls be fled forth from their Cage Lady Perfection My Soul will fly your Soul to imbrace And after Death may hope a resting place Exeunt ACT V. Scene 34. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. You here the match is concluded betwixt the Emperors Daughter and our Prince 2 Gent. Yes and I hear that the Lord Dorato was a great Instrument to help the match forward 1 Gent. Methinks they should need no other Instrument to forward the match than the Princes interest 2 Gent. 'T is true but the Princes affection being placed upon another Lady it was hard first to draw off those affections and then to place them anew besides the Death of his Neece was some hinderance 1 Gent. All great Princes doe soon cast off all Funeral sadness but the Lord Dorato methinks takes the Death of his Daughter to heart 2 Gent. 'T is a doubt whether he will continue in such great favour with the Prince now his Neece is dead 1 Gent. There is no likelyhood he should be in less favour since the Princess Death for it was the favour he had with the Princess that caused the match with his Son besides he hath left a Son which the Prince no doubt will favour the Grandfather the more for the Childes sake 2 Gent. I wonder whether the Lord Melancholy the Princesses Husband will marry again for he had ill fortune with his Wives 1 Gent. Methinks he hath had good Fortune for the Laws have quitted him of one and Death of the other but that Husband hath ill fortune that neither Law nor Death will free him from Exeunt Scene 35. Enter the Lord Melancholy at the Grate the Curtains open and appears the Lady Perfection he takes the Sword out of the sheath LOrd Melancholy Sweet here 's that will quit us of all trouble Lady Perfection Indeed life is a trouble and nothing is at rest but what lyes in the grave Lord Melancholy Are you not affraid of the sight of a murthering Sword Lady Perfection No more than you are affraid of the sight of the glorious Sun Lord Melancholy You seem to have a courage above you Sex Lady Perfection My love is above Life as far as my Courage is beyond Fear I neither fear Death nor consider Life but can imbrace the one and fling away the other for Loves sake Lord Melancholy Then dear Wife for so you are my heart did never own another I wish our breaths and bloods might intermix together and as Deaths Ceremonies might joyn our Souls Whilst he speaks he puts one end of the Sword through the Grate she takes hold of it Lady Perfection They 'r joyned already by love and Death's sufficient to bring them both together and our bloods 't is like will run in trickling streams upon this Sword to meet and intermix Whilst he holds the Sword in one hand he unbuttons his Doublet with the other hand so she unties her Cord about her Gown Lord Melancholy These Buttons are like troublesome guests at
with you both Both Long may your Highness live and flourish They kneel to their Father Lord Dorato My blessing on you both Exeunt FINIS THE ACTORS NAMES Sir William Admirer and many other Gentlemen Lady Peaceable Lady Solitary Lady Censurer Lady Examination Lady Bridlehead Lady Kindeling Lady Gadder Lady Faction and a Matron THE COMICAL HASH ACT I. Scene 1. Enter a Company of young Gentlemen and two or three young Ladyes as the Lady Gadder the Lady Kindeling and the Lady Bridlehead KIndeling My Dear Gadder Gadder My sweet Kindeling They imbrace and kiss each other Gentleman Faith Ladyes Nature never made women to kiss each other and therefore 't is unnatural and being unnatural it is unlawfull and being unlawfull it ought to be forbidden Gadder Yes you would have us kiss you men Gentleman No Ladies we men will kiss you women if you please to give us leave Bridlehead You will take leave sometimes Gentleman 'T is when we think we shall not be refus'd or at least not to be disfavour'd for it The Ladies kiss again Gentleman VVhat kissing again faith Ladies you will make us believe by your often kissing that you desire we should kiss you and with that belief we may run into an error if it be an error to kiss a fair Lady Kindeling Fye fye you men are odd Creatures Gentleman No you women are odd Creatures when you are not with us men Kindeling Preethy Gadder and Bridlehead let us go do something to pass away our time Gadder VVhat shall we do Bridlehead Let us go to Cards Gadder Faith I have made a Vow not to play for money Bridlehead VVe will play for Sweet-meats Kindeling No preethy let us play for a Sack Possit Gadder O no we will play for Sweet-meats Kindeling I say a Sack Possit Gadder Let the most voices carry it Gentleman I will speak for the men we say a Sack Possit for that will make us both good Company in the eating the Possit and after 't is eaten whereas Sweet-meats will make us heavy and dull Gadder Well then let us go play for a Sack Possit Bridlehead Faith a Sack Possit will make me drunk Gentleman You will be the better Company Lady Kindling Fye Bridlehead you should not say drunk but your head giddy Gentleman That is better than to be drunk for a giddy head hath a light heel Exeunt Scene 2. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. The Lord Poverty is a gallant Noble person 2 Gent. They are gallant and Noble that are Rich and titled Honour without Means is like a Body without a Soul 1 Gent. You are mistaken friend it is rather a Soul without a Body 2 Gent. Alas titled Honour without Means to maintain it is despised 1 Gent. If the person hath Merit worthy of his titled Honour that titled Honour is worthy to be respected and bowed to by all inferiour persons nay put the case that Honourable titles are placed upon Unworthy persons yet all ought to give respect to those Titles and to do homage thereunto though not unto the Person yet because it comes from a lawfull and Supreme power as Natural rays of light do from the Sun and those that strive through envy and through spite for to Eclipse the light deserve to be in a perpetual darkness so those that do detract from titled Honours ought never to be honoured with Titles or respect 2 Gent. Why 't is not only I that have no such titles of Honour that speaks against them but those that do possess them and their fore-fathers long before them 1 Gent. They that do so ought to be degraded as being unworthy to wear the badge or mark of their fore-fathers Merits or heroick Acts for they do shew they have none of their own but those that get their own Honours by their own Merits and worthy Actions deserve them best for they like as a clear and glorious day appear for oft-times their posterity like Clouds begot from gross and drowsie Earth strive to quench out their Fathers flaming Honours and by their Baseness obscure the light of their fore-fathers great and glorious Fame and in the end bury themselves in dark Oblivion as vanishing to nothing as being never mentioned nor remembred but those that for their loyalty and their fidelity unto their King and Country have hazarded lives and lost their liberties and Estates and are grown poor for Honesties sake and Virtuous causes yet they in after Ages will live with great renown for 't is not in the power of spite to pull them down for the Gods give Fame to Noble Actions as Kings give titled Honours though men that are base will not relieve them yet Fame will remember them and though base men will rail against them yet Fame will praise them and though they dye with Poverty and should end their lives in a foul Ditch yet shall that Ditch be honoured by their Death more than the rich unworthy man be honoured by his stately Tombs and costly Funerals Exeunt Scene 3. Enter the Lady Solitary and the Lady Examination EXamination What 's the matter with you to day Lady Solitary you look as if you were in a married humour Solitary Why Lady Examination what humour is a married humour Examination Why a masse of ill humours mixt or put together as a lumpish dumpish dull stupid humour or a pievish fretting pining whining humour or a brawling yawling quarrelling scoulding humour or a jealous suspicious humour or a fawning feigning dissembling humour Solitary If these humours are woven into the marriage knot I will never marry for I would be loth to have the peace of my life strangled in discontent for whosoever be subject to these humours can never be happy Examination You will change your mind and rather live with these humours than without a Husband but I am come now to fetch you abroad for their is a Company of sociable Ladyes and gallants that have made a meeting some league of where there will be Mirth Jollity Plenty and Pleasure and they desire you will be sociable for once and go along with them Solitary Would you have the Body which is the habitation of the Mind a wanderer travelling from place to place disturbing the mind with unprofitable journeys Examination No I would have it remove so as it may always situate it self in a wholsome profitable plentifull pleasant and pleasurable place Solitary I perceive you prefer the pleasures of the Body before the delight of the Mind Examination Why the mind can take no delight without the body for the body gives the mind a being and habitation for there would be no mind if there were no body but if there could be a mind without a body yet the mind could receive no delight without the pleasure of the body for the pleasure of the body is the delight of the mind and not the delight of the mind the pleasure of the body for the mind doth never give nor return wherefore come away and leave
to be a Souldier 2 Gent. Yes and he may chance to get a glorious Fame 1 Gent. But particular Fames are like particular Creatures some dye and decay sooner than others but few live to old Nestors years and some lye Bedrid and a great Company are decrepid and lame others are croked and deformed from their Birth and some by evill Fortune and many are Orphans and aboundance Bastards and Changlings and though War makes the lowdest noise in Fames Palace yet Wit for the most part lives the longest therein for Wit is such a delightfull Company and such pleasant pastime as old Father Time takes great care to preserve it lapping Wit warm in the Memory and feeding it often with Rehersals Exeunt Scene 15. Enter the Lady Examination and the Lady Solitary EXamination Come Come you will never get you a real Lover if you delight so much in Solitaries Solitary I desire none for real Lovers do oftentimes prove unconstant whereas feigned lovers are as constant as the Contemplator would have them and as many as they would have besides a crowd or multitude of thoughts may rise up in the brain and be as Spectators of one single thought which if the Contemplator pleases may be a Lover and the rest of the Spectators thoughts may censure of that single thought as of his good parts or bad his virtues or vices some may praise others dispraise and the like thus a Contemplator can never want Lovers Admirers Censurers nor any other Company since the Mind can present them with what thoughts they desire not only the thoughts of Men Women and Children but of any other Creatures that Nature hath made for why should not our Spirits or Soul delight and content us without the real possession of outward Good as well as the Spirits or Soul doth torment us with a real Evill for why may not Opinion or Fancy as well and as much delight us as Opinion and Fancy affright us as they often do Examination But an over-studious Mind doth waste the Body for the Thoughts feeds as much upon the Body as the Body upon the meat we eat and the Body nourishes the Thoughts as much as meat nourishes the Body and for the most part as the Body is effected so is the Mind for a distempered Body makes a distempered Mind as a Luxurious Body makes an Amorous Mind and a Feavour in the Body makes the mind frantick for the heat of a Feavour is like Strong-water it makes the Spirits drunk the Thoughts dizie and the Mind sick Solitary Indeed the Body and the Mind do most commonly agree as in Monarchy the King and the Subjects do the Subjects obeying the King and the King commanding the Subjects yet sometimes the Subjects compel the King and sometimes the King forces the Subjects so sometimes the Appetite compels the Reason at other times the Reason forces the Appetite to a Moderation and sometimes the Humours of the Body which are like the senceless Commonalty and the Passions of the Soul which are as the Nobles oftentimes fall out where sometimes the Humours of the Body usurp with an uprore the Passions of the Soul and sometimes the Passions overcome the Humours by a wise policy but when as the Kingdome of Man is in Peace the Imaginations in the head send down thoughts as metal into the heart wherein they are melted and minted into current Coin each thought as each peece having a several stamp some is stamped with Hate some Spight others Malice some with Jealousy some Hope some with Fear some Pitty some Love but that of Love is of the highest vallew but these Coins serve for Commerce and Traffick in the Body from the Authority of the Mind or Soul whose stamp or Image each piece bears Exeunt Scene 16. Enter Sir William Admirer and the Lady Peaceable ADmirer Dear Mistriss how I love you Peaceable I wish I had Merits worthy your Affections Admirer You are all a man can wish in women kind for you are young fair virtuous witty and wise Peaceable Alas all youth hath more follies than years whereas those that are old have or ought to have more years than follies Admirer You might be thought old by your speech and actions by reason you speak so experienced and act with such prudence and discretion wherefore I should judge you were instructed by those that are old and knew much Peaceable Indeed my Educators were Aged and my Tutors like as Painters drew with the Pencil of the Tongue and the Colours of Sense and the white of Truth on the Platform of my Brain many figurate discourses for the Understanding to view but my Understanding hath weak Eyes Admirer Your Understanding neither wants sight nor light but the Lady Faction wants both or else she had not been so uncivil to you as she was when I was with you last were not you very Cholerick with her Peaceable I am of too Melancholy a Nature to be very Cholerick Admirer Why are those that are Melancholy never Cholerick Peaceable I cannot say never but yet very seldome by reason they want that heat which makes Choler for though the Spirits of Melancholy persons may be as quick as those that are Cholerick yet they are not so fiery for there is as much difference betwixt Melancholy and Choler as freesing and burning the one contracts into a sad silence the other expulses in blows and many extravagant actions and angry words but those persons which are seldome angry as all Melancholy persons are who are of a patient peaceable Nature yet when they are angry are very angry to those persons that are naturally Melancholy that are seldome seen to be merry or to laugh yet when they are merry their mirth is ridiculous and they will laugh extremely as at nothing or at any thing so those that are naturally Contemplative when they do speak they speak beyond all sense and reason their speech flows like as a Torrent rough and forceable thus we may perceive that extremes one way run into extremes another way Admirer I can truly witness that you are not apt to be angry or at least not to appear angry for I did wonder at your humble behaviour civil answers patient demeanors towards the Lady Faction Peaceable I may suffer an injury patiently when I cannot avoid it but I will never injure my self in doing such actions or speaking such words as are unbefitting unworthy and base Exeunt ACT V. Scene 17. Enter the Lady Solitary her Governess a Grave Matron and a Gentleman as coming a Iourney MAtron Pray Charge thank this Gentleman for his gifts and favours to me Solitary Governess let me tell you that they do themselves a courtesy or favour that do a courtesy or favour to another and therefore there needs no thanks Gentleman But Lady you ought to thank me for coming out of my way so far as I have done to see you Solitary No truly for if you came out of your way to see me
love Solitariness and there will be too much Company Censurer There may be a great resort but their Conversation is by single Couples Examination You are a wag Lady Censurer Exeunt Scene 22. Enter four Gentlemen 1 GEnt. If I were to chuse a Wife I would chuse the Lady Solitary 2 Gent. Why 1 Gent. Because those that are Solitary love not much Company and being alone love not much noise and loving no noise love silence and loving silence love not to talk so as in having of her I shall have a Solitary Peaceable Quiet Silent Wife 3 Gent. And if I were to chuse I would chuse the Lady Censurer for she would let nothing pass her judgment for she will give her opinion of all things persons and actions so in having her to my Wife I should have a general Intelligencer or at least her opinion of all things 2 Gent. But if her Judgment were not good her opinion would be erroneous 3 Gent. I care not it would serve to pass an idle time with 4 Gent. And if I might chuse I would chuse the Lady Examination for a Wife 2 Gent. Why 4 Gent. Because she knows most humours and passages of every body and their affairs so by her I should be entertained with news from all places as of all actions done opinions held words spoke or thoughts thought 2 Gent. I would I could have my wish as easily as you might have your choice 1 Gent. What would you wish 2 Gent. I would wish to be unmarried for if I were I would never be troubled with a Wife again but let me advise you for I love to have married Companions that you three should go a woing to those three Ladyes they cannot nor will not deny your Sute being all three of you rich young and handsome All three We will take your Counsel Exeunt FINIS THE ACTORS NAMES The Lord General Seigneur Valeroso Monsieur la Hardy Monsieur Compagnion Monsieur Comerade Monsieur la Gravity Captain Ruffell Captain Whiffell and several other Gentlemen Doctor Educature Doctor Comfort Stewards Messengers and Servants Lady Victoria Madam Jantil Madam Passionate Madam Ruffell Madam Whiffell Doll Pacify Madam Passionates Maid Nell Careless Madam Jantils Maid other Servants and Heroickesses THE FIRST PART OF BELL IN CAMPO ACT I. Scene 1. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. You hear how this Kingdome of Reformation is prepaparing for War against the Kingdome of Faction 2 Gent. Yea for I hear the Kingdome of Faction resolves to War with this Kingdome of Reformation 1 Gent. 'T is true for there are great preparations of either side men are raised of all sorts and ages fit to bear Arms and of all degrees to command and obey and there is one of the gallantest and noblest persons in this Kingdome which is made General to command in chief for he is a man that is both valiant and well experienced in Wars temperate and just in Peace wise and politick in publick affairs carefull and prudent in his own Family and a most generous person 2 Gent. Indeed I have heard that he is a most excellent Souldier 1 Gent. He is so for he is not one that sets forth to the Wars with great resolutions and hopes and returns with maskerd fears and despairs neither is he like those that take more care and are more industrious to get gay Clothes and fine Feathers to flant in the Field and vapour in their march than to get usefull and necessary provision but before he will march he will have all things ready and proper for use as to fit himself with well-tempered Arms which are light to be worn yet musket proof for he means not to run away nor to yield his life upon easy terms unto his Enemy for he desires to Conquer and not vain-gloriously to shew his courage by a careless neglect or a vain carelessness also he chooses such Horses as are usefull in War such as have been made subject to the hand and heel that have been taught to Trot on the Hanches to change to Gallop to stop and such Horses as have spirit and strength yet quiet and sober Natures he regards more the goodness of the Horses than the Colours or marks and more the fitness of his Saddles than the Imbrodery also he takes more care that his Waggons should be easy to follow and light in their carriage than to have them painted and gilded and he takes greater care that his Tents should be made so as to be suddenly put up and as quickly pull'd down than for the setting and Imbrodering his Arms thereupon also he take more care to have usefull Servants than numerous Servants and as he is industrious and carefull for his particular affairs so he is for the general affairs 2 Gent. A good Souldier makes good preparations and a good General doth both for himself and Army and as the General hath showed himself a good Souldier by the preparations he had made to march so he hath showen himself a wise man by the settlement he hath made in what he hath to leave behind him for I hear he hath setled and ordered his House and Family 1 Gent. He hath so and he hath a fair young and virtuous Lady that he must leave behind him which cannot choose but trouble him 2 Gent. The wisest man that is cannot order or have all things to his own contentment Exeunt Scene 2. Enter the Lord General and the Lady Victoria his Wife GEneral My dear heart you know I am commanded to the Wars and had I not such Wife as you are I should have thought Fortune had done me a favour to imploy my life in Heroical Actions for the service of my Country or to give me a honourable Death but to leave you is such a Cross as my Nature sinks under but wheresoever you are there will be my life I shall only carry a Body which may sight but my Soul and all the powers thereof will remain with thee Lady Victoria Husband I shall take this expression of love but for feigning words if you leave me for 't is against Nature to part with that we love best unless it be for the beloveds preservation which cannot be mine for my life lives in yours and the comfort of that life in your Company Lord General I know you love me so well as you had rather part with my life than I should part from my honour Lady Victoria 'T is true my love perswades me so to do knowing fame is a double life as infamy is a double death nay I should perswade you to those actions were they never so dangerous were you unwilling thereunto or could they create a world of honour fully inhabited with praises but I would not willingly part with your life for an imaginary or supposed honour which dyes in the womb before it is Born thus I love you the best preferring the best of what is yours but I am but in the second place in your affections for you
take their leaves of their Wives Madam Jantil and Madam Passionate Madam Jantil young and beautifull Madam Passionate in years Madam Iantil. I cannot chuse but take it unkindly that you will go without me do you mistrust my affection as that I have not as much love for you as the Generals Lady hath for her Husband or do you desire to leave me because you would take a Mistriss along with you one that perchance hath more Beauty than you think me to have with whom you may securely and freely sit in your Tent and gaze upon or one that hath more wit than I whose sweet smooth and flattering words may charm your thoughts and draw your Soul out of your ears to sit upon her Lips or dancing with delight upon her Tongue Seigneur Valeroso Prethee Wife be not jealous I vow to Heaven no other Beauty can attract my eyes but thine nor any sound can please my brain but what thy charming Tongue sends in besides I prise not what thy Body is but how thy Soul 's adorn'd thy virtue would make me think thee fair although thou wert deformed and wittier far than Mercury hadst thou Midas's ears but thou hast all that man can wish of women kind and that is the reason I will leave thee safe at home for I am loth to venture all my wealth and happiness in Fortunes unconstant Bark suffering thy tender youth and Sex to float on the rough waves of chance where dangers like to Northern winds blow high and who can know but that fatal gusts may come and overwhelm thee and drown all my joys wherefore for my sake keep thy self safe at home Madam Iantil. I shall obey you but yet I think it were not well I should be a long time from you and at a great distance Seigneur Valeroso I will promise you if I perceive the War is like to be prolonged and that there be Garrison-Towns so safe as you may securely live in I will send for you placing you so where sometimes I may visit you Madam Iantil. Pray do not forget me so much as to cancell your promise Seigneur Valeroso Forget the sweet I should sooner forget life and if I do whilst I have memory Heaven forget me Madam Iantil. I must ask you a question which is to know why you will take an under command being so nobly Born and bearing a high Title of Honour your self and being Master of a great Estate Seigneur Valeroso To let the World see my Courage is above my Birth Wealth or Pride and that I prefer inward worth before outward Title and I had rather give my life to the Enemy on honourable terms than basely to stay at home in time of general Wars out of an ambitious discontent for valour had rather have dangers to fight with than Offices to command in Seigneur Valeroso and his Lady whispers while the other two Monsieur la Hardy and his Lady speaks Madam Passionate Why should you go to the Wars now you are in years and not so fit for action as those that are young and have their strengths about them besides we have lived a married pair above these thirty years and never parted and shall we now be seperated when we are old She weeps Monsieur la Hardy Alas Wife what would you have me do when I am commanded out I must obey besides I would not have my Country fight a Battel whilst I live and I not make one for all the World for when I cannot fight my Body shall serve to stop a breach wherefore leave your crying Wife and fall to praying for our safe return and here my noble friend is desirous you should stay with his Lady to comfort one another and to divert Melancholy and the longing hours of our return Madam Passionate Farewell I fear I shall never see you again for your absence will soon kill me She cryes Exeunt Scene 8. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. O you are welcome from the Army what news 2 Gent. VVhy our Army march'd untill they came unto the frontiers of the Kingdome where they found the Army of the Enemy ready to encounter them the Lord General seeing they must of necessity fight a Battel thought best to call a Council of VVar that there might be nothing of ill conduct laid to his chardge but that all might be ordered by a wise and experienced Council whereupon he made an election of Counsellors joyning together three sorts as grave wife and prudent men subtill and politick men and valiant skillfull martiall men that the cold temper of the prudent might allay the hot temper of the valiant and that the politick might be as ingenious to serve them together by subtill devises and to make traps of Stragems to catch in the Enemy and at this Council many debates there were but at last they did conclude a Battel must be fought but first they did decree that all the women should be sent into one of their Garrison Towns some two dayes journey from the Army the reasons were that if they should be overcome by their Enemyes the women might be taken by their Enemyes and made Slaves using or abusing them as they pleased but when the women were sent away they did not shed tears of sorrow but sent such vollies of angry words as wounded many mens hearts but when they were almost at the Town that was to be their aboad the Generals Lady was so extremely incensed against the Counsellers by reason they decreed her departure with the others as she strove to raise up the Spirits of the rest of her Sex to the height of her own but what the issue will be I know not 1 Gent. Have you been with the King 2 Gent. Yes I was sent to give him an account of the Army Exeunt Scene 9. Enter the Lady Victoria and a number of women of all sorts with her she takes her stand upon a heap of green Turfs as being in the Fields before the Garrison Town and then speaks to those women LAdy Victoria Most Heroical Spirits of most chast and loving Wives Mistrisses Sisters Children or Friends I know you came not from your several Houses and homes into this Army meerly to enjoy your Husbands Lovers Parents and Friends in their safe and secure Garrisons or only to share of their troublesome and tedious marches but to venture also in their dangerous and cruell Battels to run their Fortunes and to force Destiny to joyn you to their Periods but the Masculine Sex hath separated us and cast us out of their Companyes either out of their loving care and desire of preserving our lives and liberties lest we might be distroyed in their confusions or taken Prisoners in their loss or else it must be out of jealousy we should Eclipse the fame of their valours with the splendor of our constancy and if it be Love let us never give the preheminence for then we should lose that Prerogative that belongs to the Crown of our Sex
is my Secretary Secretary Here Madam Madam Iantil. Read the Will I caus'd you to write down The Will read I Jantil the Widow of Seigneur Valeroso do here make a free gift of all these following Item All my Husbands Horses and Saddels and whatsoever belongs to those Horses with all his Arms Pikes Guns Drums Trumpets Colours Waggons Coaches Tents and all he had belonging to the War to be distributed amongst his Officers of War according to each degree I freely give Item All his Library of Books I give to that College he was a Pupill in when he was at the University Item To all his Servants I give the sum of their yearly wages to be yearly paid them during their lives Item I give two hundred pounds a year pension to his Chaplin Doctor Educature during his life Item I give a hundred pound a year pension to his Steward during his life Item I give fifty pound a year pension to his Secretary during his life Item I give a hundred pound per annum for the use and repair of this Tomb of my dead Husbands Item I give a thousand pounds a year to maintain ten religious persons to live in this place or House by this Tomb Item I give three thousand pounds to enlarge the House and three thousand pounds more to build a Chapell by my Husbands Tomb Item Two hundred pounds a year I give for the use and repair of the House and Chapell Item I give my Maid Nell Careless a thousand pound to live a single life Item I give the rest of my Estate which was left me by my Husband Seigneur Valeroso to the next of his name These following Speeches and Songs of hers my Lord the Marquess of Newcastle writ Iantil. So 't is well O Death hath shakt me kindly by the hand To bid me welcome to the silent grave 'T is dead and nuns sweet Death how thou doest court me O let me clap thy fallen Cheeks with joy And kiss the Emblem of what once was lips Thy hollow Eyes I am in love withall And thy ball'd head beyond youths best curl'd hair Prethee imbrace me in thy colder Arms And hug me there to sit me for thy Mansion Then bid our Neighbour worms to feast with us Thus to rejoyce upon my holy day But thou art slow I prethee hasten Death And linger not my hopes thus with thy stay 'T is not thy fault thou sayest but fearfull nature That hinders thus Deaths progress in his way Oh foolish nature thinks thou canst withstand Deaths Conquering and inevitable hand Let me have Musick for divertisement This is my Mask Deaths Ball my Soul to dance Out of her frail and fleshly prison here Oh could I now dissolve and melt I long To free my Soul in Slumbers with a Song In soft and quiet sleep here as I ly Steal gently out O Soul and let me dy Lies as a sleep SONG O You Gods pure Angels send her Here about her to attend her Let them wait and here condoul Till receive her spotless Soul So Serene it is and fair It will sweeten all the Air You this holy wonder hears With the Musick of the spheres Her Souls journey in a trice You 'l bring safe to Paradice And rejoice the Saints that say She makes Heavens Holy-day The Song ended she opens her Eyes then speaks Death hath not finish'd yet his work h 'is slow But he is sure for he will do 't at last Turn me to my dear Lord that I may breath My last words unto him my dear Our marriage join'd our flesh and bone Contracted by those holy words made one But by our Loves we join'd each others heart And vow'd that death should never us depart Now death doth marry us since now we must Ashes to ashes be mingling our dust And our joy'd Souls in Heaven married then When our frail bodyes rise wee 'l wed again And now I am joy'd to lie by thy lov'd side My Soul with thy Soul shall in Heaven reside For that is all my In this last word she dies which when her Servants saw they cryed out she is dead she is dead Here ends my Lord Marquesses writing Doctor Educature sayes thus Doctor Educature She is dead she is dead the body hence convey And to our Mistriss our last rights wee 'l pay So they laid her by her Husband upon the Tomb and drawing off the Tomb goe out Exeunt ACT V. Scene 20. Enter Citizens Wives and their Apprentices 1 CItizens Wife Where shall we stand to see this triumphing 2 Citizens Wife I think Neighbour this is the best place 3 Citizens Wife We shall be mightily crouded there 2 Citizens Wife For my part I will stand here and my Apprentice Nathaniel shall stand by me and keep off the croud from crouding me Nathaniel Truly Mistriss that is more than I am able to do 3 Citizens Wife Well Neighbour if you be resolved to stand here we will keep you Company Timothy stand by me Timothy If you stand here Mistriss the Squibs will run under your Clothes 3 Citizens Wife No matter Timothy let them run where they will They take their stand 1 Citizens Wife I hope Neighbour none will stand before us for I would not but see this Lady Victoria for any thing for they say she hath brought Articles for all women to have as many Husbands as they will and all Trades-mens Wives shall have as many Apprentices as they will 2 Citizens Wife The Gods bless her for it Enter a Croud of people She is coming she is coming Officers come Stand up close make way Enter many Prisoners which march by two and two then enter many that carry the Conquered spoils then enters the Lady Victoria in a gilt Chariot drawn with eight white Horses four on a breast the Horses covered with Cloth of gold and great plumes of feathers on their heads The Lady Victoria was adorned after this manner she had a Coat on all imbrodered with silver and gold which Coat reach'd no further than the Calfs of her leggs and on her leggs and feet she had Buskins and Sandals imbroidered suitable to her Coat on her head she had a Wreath or Garland of Lawrel and her hair curl'd and loosely flowing in her hand a Crystall Bolt headed with gold at each end and after the Chariot marched all her Female Officers with Lawrel Branches in their hands and after them the inferiour she Souldiers then going through the Stage as through the City and so entring again where on the midst of the Stage as if it were the midst of the City the Magistrates meet her so her Chariot makes a stand and one as the Recorder speaks a Speech to her VIctorious Lady you have brought Peace Safety and Conquest to this Kingdome by your prudent conduct and valiant actions which never any of your Sex in this Kingdome did before you Wherefore our Gracious King is pleased to give you that which was never granted nor
discourse as by things and motions beasts may have for ought we can know to the contrary The last is by Figures or Letters Prints Hieroglyphicks and painted Stories or ingraven in Metal or cut or carved in Stone or molded or formed in Earth as clay or the like in this kind of discourse the Pencil hath sometimes out-done the Pen as the Painter hath out-done the Historian and Poet This discoursing by Signs or Figures are discourses to the eye and not to the ear There is also another kind or sort of discoursing which is hardly learn'd as yet because newly invented or at lest to what I have heard which is by Notes and several Strains in Musick I only mention it because I never heard it but once and then I did not understand it but yet it was by a skilfull and ingenious Musician which discoursed a story of his Travels in his playing on a Musical Instrument namely the Harpsical But certainly to my understanding or reason it did seem a much easier way of discoursing than discoursing by actions or posture But to end my discourse of Discoursing which discoursing may be by several waies several actions and postures by several creatures and in several Languages but reasoning is the Souls Language words the Language of the Senses action the Lifes Language Writing Printing Painting Carving and Molding are Arts several Languages but Musick is the Language of the Gods Exeunt Scene 17. Enter two Gentlemen 1. Gent. HOw do you like the Ladies discourse 2. Gent. As I like discourse 1. Gent. How is that 2. Gent. Why I had rather hear a number of words than speak a number of words 1. Gent. Then thou art not of the nature of Mankind for there is no man that had not rather speak than hear 2. Gent. No it is a sign I am not of the nature of Woman-kind that will hear nothing but will speak all indeed for the most part they stop their Ears with their Tongues at lest with the sound of their Voices Exeunt Scene 18. Enter a company of Gentlemen The Speaker takes the Chair Gentleman Speaker IT were too tedious to recite the several humours of the female Sex their scornfull Pride their obstinate Retirednesse their reserved Coynesse their facil Inconstancy by which they become the most useless and most unprofitable Creatures that nature hath made but when they are joined to men they are the most usefull and most profitable Creatures nature hath made wherefore all those women that have common reason or sense of shame will never retire themselves from the company of men for what women that have any consideration of Honour Truth or touch of Goodness will be the worst of all Creatures when they may be the best but the truth of it is women are spoyled by the over-fond dotage of men for being flattered they become so self-conceited as they think they were only made for the Gods and not for men and being Mistrisses of mens affections they usurp their Masculine Power and Authority and instead of being dutifull humble and obedient to men as they ought to be they are Tyrannical Tyrannizers Exeunt Scene 19. Enter two Gentlemen 1. Gent. THe young Gallants methinks begin to be whetted with Anger 2. Gent. They have reason when the women have such dull blunt Appetites Exeunt Scene 20. Enter the Ladies of the Academy The Lady Speaker takes the Chair Matron LAdies let the Theam of your discourse be at this time of Friendship Lady Speaker This Theam may more easily be discoursed of than Friendship made by reason it is very difficult to make a right Friendship for hard it is to match men in agreeable Humours Appetites Passions Capacities Conversations Customs Actions Natures and Dispositions all which must be to make a true and lasting Friendship otherwise two Friends will be like two Horses that draw contrary waies whereas Souls Bodies Education and Lives must equally agree in Friendship for a worthy honest man cannot be a friend to a base and unworthy man by reason Friendship is both an offensive and defensive League between two Souls and Bodies and no actions either of the Souls or Bodies or any outward thing or fortune belonging thereunto are to be denyed wherefore Knaves with Knaves and unworthy Persons with unworthy Persons may make a Friendship Honest men with Honest men and worthy Persons with worthy Persons may do the like but an Honest man with a Knave or a worthy Person with a base man or an Honourable Person with a mean Fellow a noble Soul with a base Nature a Coward with a Valiant man can make no true Friendship For put the case in such friendships my Friend should desire me to do a base Action for his sake I must either break Friendship or do unworthily but as all worthy Persons make Truth their Godesse which they seek and worship Honour the Saint which they pray too Vertue the Lady which they serve so Honesty is the only Friend they trust and rely on and all the VVorld is obliged to Honesty for upright and just dealing Exeunt ACT IV. Scene 21. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. Methinks the womens Lectural discourse is better than the mens for in my opinion the mens discourses are simple childish and foolish in comparison of the womens 2 Gent. Why the subject of the discourse is of women which are simple foolish and childish 1 Gent. There is no sign of their simplicity or folly in their discourse or Speeches I know not what may be in their Actions 2 Gent. Now you come to the point for the weaknesse of women lyes in their Actions not in their VVords for they have sharp Wits and blunt Judgements Exeunt Scene 22. Enter the Ladies and Grave Matroness The Lady Speaker takes the Chair MAtronesse Lady let the Theam of your discourse to day be of a Theatre Lady Speaker A Theatre is a publick place for publick Actions Orations Disputations Presentations whereunto is a publick resort but there are only two Theatres which are the chief and the most frequented the one is of War the other of Peace the Theatre of Warr is the Field and the Battels they sight are the Plays they Act and the Souldiers are the Tragedians and the Theatre of Peace is the stage and the Plays there Acted are the Humours Manners Dispositions Natures Customes of men thereon described and acted whereby the Theatres are as Schools to teach Youth good Principles and instruct them in the Nature and Customes of the World and Mankind and learn men to know themselves better than by any other way of instruction and upon these Theatres they may learn what is noble and good what base and wicked what is ridiculous and misbecoming what gracefull and best becoming what to avoid and what to imitate the Genius that belongs to the Theatre of Warr is Valour and the Genius that belongs to the Theatre of Peace is Wit the designer of the rough Plays of Warr is a General
or Councel the designer of the smooth Plays of Peace is a Poet or a chief Magistrate but the difference of these Plays Acted on each Theatre is the one is real the other feigned the one in earnest the other in jest for a Poet only feigns Tragedies but the Souldiers do truly act Tragedies on the Poetical Theatre I will only insist for this Theatre belongs more to our persons and is a more fitter Subject for the discourse of our Sex than Warr is for we delight more in Scenes than in Battels I will begin first with Poets who are the Authors and makers of these kind of Plays Fame hath spoke loud both of antient and modern Poets as for the antient Poets they are a length out of the reach of my Judgement so as my opinion will hardly reach so far but as for our Modern Poets that have made Plays in our Modern times although they deserve praise yet not so much nor so high Applause as is given them for most of their plots or Foundation of their Plays were taken out of old Authors as from the Greeks and Romans Historians and Poets also all the Modern Romances are taken out of these Stories and many Playes out of these Romances Matron Lady give me leave a little while to instruct you as to tell you that all Romances should be so for the ground of a right Romance is a true story only falshood is intermixt therein so that a Romance is a compound of Truth and Falshood Lady Speaker Give me leave to answer you that in my opinion a right Romance is Poetical Fictions put into a Historical Stile but for Plays the true Comedy is pure Love and Humours also the Customes Manners and the Habits and inbred qualities of mankind And right Tragi-Comedies are the descriptions of the Passions which are created in the Soul And a right Tragedy is intermixt with the Passions Appetites and Humours of men with the influence of outward actions accidents and misfortunes but as I said some Poets take the Plots out of true History others out of feigned Historie which are Romances so as their Plots for the most part are meer Translations and oft times the VVit is also but a translated VVit only metamorphosed after their own way but the truth is that some of them their VVit is their own and their Plots were stoln or plainly taken and some their Plots are their own but the VVit stoln but of all theft VVit is never confest and some neither the Plot nor Wit is their own and other both Plots and VVit are truly their own These last Poets although but very few are the true Sons of Nature the other but as adulterate issues But for the most part our Modern Plays both Plots and VVit are meer translations and yet come out as boldly upon the Stage as if the Translators were the Original Authors thinking or at least hoping that the alteration of the Language conceals the theft which to the unlearned it doth but the learned soon find them out and see all their Bodies VVings Leggs Tail and Feathers although they hide their head in the Bush of Ignorance I speak not in discommendation of these Translations nor Translators for Translations are so far from being condemned as they ought to be much nay very much commended and highly praised if it be such as is praise worthy for old Authors may in some expressions be more profitable and good both for VVit and Examples than the modern and the Translators may be commended both for their Judgement and Learning besides very good Translators must have a sympathetical Genius with the Original Author but their Condemnation proceeds from the Translators unjust owning of it upon themselves or in translating it to the Authors prejudice Matron Lady let me interrupt you once again to ask your opinion how you like the Italian and French Plays Lady Speaker As well as I can like any thing that is a strain beyond Nature or as I may say Natures Constraint for the truth is in their discourse or rehearsals they do not only raise their Voice a Note or two too high but many Notes too high and in their actions they are so forced as the Spectators might very easily believe the Actors would break their Sinew-strings and in their Speech they fetch their breath so short and thick and in such painfull fetches and throws as those Spectators that are Strangers might verily believe that they were gasping for life Matron But Lady all know Love which is the Theam or Subject of Plays is a violent passion which forces the Players to an Elevation of Action and Speech Lady Speaker Most Reverend Matron my opinion is that though it be commendable and admirable for the Poet to be elevated with a Poetical Divine Inspiration to outdo Nature yet for the Actors their best grace is to Play or Act in the Tracts or Paths of Nature and to keep within Natures bounds and whensoever they go awry or transgresse therefrom they are to be condemned and to be accounted ill Actors and as for the Passions of Love certainly the strongest Love is like the deepest VVater which is most silent and least unnecessarily active they may sometimes murmur with winds of sighs but never roar they neither foam nor froth with violence but are composed into a heavy body with a setled sadnesse But in short the Italian and French Players act more Romantical than Natural which is feign'd and constrain'd but to conclude with the Poet he delights the Ear and the Understanding with the variety of every thing that Nature hath made or Art invented for a Poet is like a Bee that gathers the sweet of every Flower and brings the Hony to his Hive which are the Ears and Memory of the Hearers or Readers in whose Head his VVit swarms but as Painters Draw to the life so Poets should VVrite to the life and Players Act to the life Exeunt Scene 13. Enter three Gentlemen 1 GEnt. The Academy of Ladies take no notice of the Academy of Men nor seem to consider what the men say for they go on thier own serious way and edifying discourses 2 Gent. At which the men are so angry as they have sworn to leave off talking and instead thereof they will sound Trumpets so loud when the Ladys are in their discoursings as they shall not hear themselves speak by which means they hope to draw them out of their Cloyster as they swarm Bees for as Bees gather together at the sound of a Basin Kettle or such like metled thing so they will disperse that swarm of Academical Ladies with the sound of brazen Trumpets 3. Gent. Why the Ladies look through their Grate upon the men whilst the men are speaking and seem to listen to what they speak as the men do on and to the Ladies 2. Gent. That is true but they take no notice of them in their literal Discourses as what the men have said for they
themselves or presence to those of Noble Birth and Breeding and can more freely and boldly talk to any Person or Persons of what Quality or Dignity soever than those Noble Persons can talk to them The third and last sort of Confidence or Boldnesse proceeds from an extraordinary Opinionatedness or self-conceitednesse for those that think or believe themselves to be above others in VVit Person Parts or Power although they have neither will be most haughtily and proudly confident scorning and undervaluing all others as inferiour Thus bold Confidence or confident Boldnesse is produced from Practice Ignorance and Pride Also there are three sorts of Bashfulnesse The one proceeds from too great an Apprehension The other from a poetical Fiction The third from an aspiring Ambition First from too groat an Apprehension as some are afraid that their Observers or Friends should make an evil Construction of their good Intentions Others will be Bashfull and out of Countenance upon a poetical Fiction as imagining of some impossible or at least some improbable accident which may fall out to their disgrace The third and last is through an aspiring Ambition desiring to out-act all others in Excellencies and fearing to fail therein is apt to be out of Countenance as if they had received a foyl thus we may perceive that the Stream of good Nature the peircing Beams of Wit and the Throne of Noble Ambition is the true cause of bashfulness I mean not shamefastness but sweet bashfulnesse but although bashfulnesse is a sweet tender noble and peircing Effect of and from the Soul yet bashfulnesse is apt to unstring the Nerves to weaken the Sinews to dull the Senses to quench the Spirits to blunt the eyes or points of Wit and to obstruct the Speech insomuch as to cause the words to run stumblingly out of the mouth or to suffer none to passe forth but a little Anger in the Mind will take off the extreme bashfulnesse of the Behaviour although much Anger doth obstruct the Senses Spirits and Speech as much as extreme Bashfulnesse doth for extreme anger and extreme bashfulnesse have often one and the same Effects to outward Appearance Exeunt Scene 27. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. The Gentlemen will turn Trumpeters for a Regiment of Gentlemen have bought every one of them a Trumpet to sound a March to the Academy of Ladies 1 Gent. Faith if the Ladies would answer their Trumpets with blowing of Horns they would serve them but as they ought to be served 1 Gentleman Women will sooner make Hornes than blow Horns Exeunt Scene 28. Enter the Lady and their Matroness The Lady Speaker takes the Chair MAtron Lady let the Theam of your discourse at this time be of Virtuous Courtships and wooing Suters Lady Speaker Some Poetical and Romantical Writers make valiant gallant Heroicks wooe poorly sneakingly and pedlingly Matron Lady let me interrupt you would you have gallant Heroicks in their Courtships to Fair young Ladies as Commanding as in the Field or as Furious as in a Battel Lady Speaker No I would have them wooe with a Confident Behaviour a Noble Demeanor a Generous Civility and not to be amazed or to tremble for fear to weep for pitty to kneel for mercy to sigh and be dejected with a Mistresses frown for though sorrow sighs tears and Humility become all Heroick Spirits very well and expresse a Noble and Generous Soul yet not in such a cause for tears become all Heroick Spirits for the Death or Torments of Friends or for the sufferances of Innocents or Virtue yet not if only themselves were tormented or to dye or for any misfortune that could come upon our own Persons or estates or for any obstructions to their own pleasures or delights but it becomes all Heroick Spirits to tremble for fear of their Honour or losse of their Fame and expresses a generous Soul to grieve and to mourn in a general Calamity and to humble themselves to the Gods for those in distresse and to implore and kneel to them for mercy both for themselves and others as for to divert the wrath of the Gods but not to weep sigh tremble kneel pray for their Effeminate pleasures delights or Societies nor to grieve or sorrow for the losse of the same Also some VVriters when they are to describe a Bashfull and Modest Lady such as are Nobly and Honourably bred describe them as if they were simply shame-faced which description makes such appear as if they came meerly from the Milk-boul and had been bred only with silly Huswives and that their practice was to pick VVorms from Roots of Flowers and their pastimes to carry and fling crumbs of Bread to Birds or little Chickens that were hatched by their Hens their Mothers gave them or to gather a lapfull of sweet Flowers to Distill a little sweet VVater to dip their Hankerchiefs in or to wash their Faces in a little Rose-water and indeed this harmlesse and innocent Breeding may be Modest and Bashfull or rather shame-faced for want of other Conversation which Custome and Company will soon cast off or wear out and then print Boldnesse on their brow but true modest Souls which have for the most part Bashfull Countenances proceede from a deep Apprehension a clear Understanding an ingenuous VVit a thinking Brain a pure Mind a refined Spirit a Noble Education and not from an ignorant obscure Breeding for it is not Ignorance that makes Modesty but Knowledge nor is it Guiltinesse that makes Bashfulnesse but fear of those that are guilty but as I said many VVriters that would make a description of Modest and Bashfull women mistake and expresse a shame-faced Ignorance and obscure Breeding and instead of expressing a young Lady to be innocent of Faults they expresse her to be one that is ignorant of Knowledge so as when they would describe a Modest Bashfull Innocent Virgin they mistake and describe a simple ignorant shame fac'd Maid that either wants Breeding or Capacity Matron But Lady let me ask you one question would you have a young Virgin as confident and knowing as a Married wife Lady Speaker Yes although not in their Behaviour or Condition of life but in her Virtue and Constancy for a chast Married wife is as Modest and Bashfull as a Virgin though not so simple ignorant and shame-faced as a plain bred Maid but as I said VVriters should describe the wooing of gallant Heroicks or Great and Noble Persons to woo with a Generous Confidence or Manly Garb a Civil Demeanor a Rational Discourse to an honest Design and to a Virtuous end and not with a whining Voice in pittifull words and fawning Language and if it be only for a Mistriss as for a Courtezan Bribes are the best Advocates or to imploy others to treat with them and not to be the Pimp although for themselves Also VVriters should when they describe Noble Virgins to receive Noble Addresses of Love and to receive those Noble Addresses or Courtships with an attentive Modesty