made free Where commonly it so fals out with him He dyes in perfect health sound winde and limbe He in a Coaches elder brother rides And when his soule and corps from each diuides He foules no sheetes nor any Physicke takes But like a bird in'th ayre an end he makes And such an end I wish they all may haue And all that loue a shifting Cutpurse knaue For they are Cormorants wheresoere they haunt Vntill the Gallowes proues their Cormorant A good and a bad Constable THE ARGVMENT This man is to the Magistrate an eye Reuealing things which Iustice could not finde Blacke deeds of darknesse he doth oft descry And is if he be honestly inclinde So fit the Common-wealth in peace to keepe By watching carefully whilst thousands sleepe VVhen Titan steepes his bright resplendant beames And hides his burning Car i' th westerne streames VVhen to the vnder world day takes his flight And leaues th' Horizon all in darknesse dight VVhen Philomel doth gainst a thorne proclaime In dulcet notes the lustfull Tereus shame VVhen Maddam Midnight shewes her Ebon face And darknesse doth the Hemispheare embrace Then to keepe all things peaceable and well The watchfull Constable keepes Centinell Then if a man with drinke his wit hath left Or hath committed leachery or theft Or murder then the Constable thinkes fit That such committers straitly he commit Hee 's Lord high Regent of the tedious night Man of the Moone he may be called right Great generall of Glowormes Owles and Bats Comptroler ouer such as whip the Cats Dianaes forrester that with regard Doth guard the Heard that liues within his ward His vigilancy is most manifest For through his hornes he lightens all the rest Like Minos or iust iudging Rhadamant He walkes the darksome streets of Troynouant Attended with his Goblins clad in Rugs Like Russian Beares or Phlegetonian bugs Vntill Aurora shewes her blushing brow And Lucifer doth shine and Cocks do crow Madge Howlet whooting hides her fearefull head Then goes the Constable and 's watch to bed This officer in the first place I put He that comes next is of another cut Yet he 's a member of the peace comes next And writ most commonly an asse in Text Image of office he is held to be And has his staffe tip'd with authority He has his bill-men which can seldome keepe The name of watchmen for they 're still asleepe His word is Who goes there Where doe you dwell Stand still and come before the Constable Is this an houre carry him to the Compter goe Sayes a man's drunke when his owne case is so But let a quar'ling slaue indeed goe by Leading by 'th arme his rampant venery A thing of filthy surfet like a swine That scarce can goe laden with poxe and wine They for their sixpence shall passe by in state The porter with a leg will ope the gate VVorship'd and guarded to their lodging safe Not with bils onely but th'officious staffe VVhilst the good sober man that nothing gaue Is straight committed for a dangerous knaue Traytor to'th State and in the Iayle must lye VVhilst th' other's lighted to his lechery This Constable may haue a tricke in store His house may be safe harbour for a whore Because no man will offer to search there She there may rest and roost secure from feare There she may lodge and trade too if shee will As sure and safe as theeues are in a Mill Or Suburbs for the birth of Bastards are For all desire to lay their bellies there Nay as a Compter for a fellon's home Or Ladies chamber for a Priest from Rome But yet I say t is not a matter hard To finde an honest Constable in 's ward Trust forbid else and waking watchmen to VVhose bils were neuer stolne and much adoe To be corrupted with a villaines shilling To wrong the good and bad mens mindes fulfilling Such men as those I thinke some few there be And for the rest would they were hangd for me He when my Corm'rant is at rest and thinkes Poore fish no harme nor ought that water drinkes That 's a night Corm'rant and at midnight swils Whole cans and pots with cheaters and their Iils He makes all fish that comes into his net Drinkes drunke and sleepes and then the watch is set A London Serieant and Iaylor THE ARGVMENT A brace of Hell-hounds that on earth doe dwell That tyrannize on poore mens bodies more If more they could then diuels ore soules in hell Whose musicke is the groanings of the poore These when they buy their office sell their soules No Cormorants are such deuouring fowles THe Serieant I before the Iaylor name Because he is the dog that hunts the game He worries it and brings it to the toyle And then the Iaylor liues vpon the spoile I 'ue knowne a Serieant that foure houres hath sate Peeping and leering through a Tauerne grate His Yeoman on the other side the way Keeping the like watch both for one poore prey Whom when they spide like mastiues they come neere him And by the throat like cruell curs they teare him If he hath money to the Tauerne straight These sucking purse-leaches will on him wait But if his stocke below and 's pockets drye To'th Iayle with him there let him starue and dye Yet for all this a Serieant is deuout For he doth watch and prey much out of doubt He sels no spice and yet in euery place He 's halfe a Grocer for he liues by 's mace He 's part a Gentleman for vp and downc Their steps he followes round about the towne And yet he seemes a Iugler too by this He oft from shape to shape so changed is As sometimes like an Amsterdammian brother Sometimes a Porters shape sometimes another Sometimes t'a Counsellor at Law and then T'a lame or blinded begger and agen T'a Country Seruingman that brings a Deere And with these trickes his prey he doth come deere Wherein he imitates the diuell aright Who can put on an Angels shape of light That so his craft may on mens soules preuaile So Serieants snare mens bodies for the Iayle Time was he wore a proper kind of coate And in his hand a white rod as a note Whereby a man far off a knaue might spie And shun him if he were in ieopardy But now to no such habit he is bound Because his place neere cost him eight score pound To get the which againe he must disguise And vse a thousand shifts and villanies Oh that a man so little grace should haue To giue so much to be esteem'd a knaue To be shau'd duck'd and vnpittied dye Curst and contemn'd within his graue to lie To hazard soule and body ne're to thriue But by mens harmes deuouring them aliue To be the hang-mans guard and wait vpon The Gallowes at an Execution But yet the office is most fit we see And fit that honest men should haue it free Now for the other sucking diuell the Iaylor His worke 's brought
And whereas Gentlemen their land would let At rates that tenants might both saue and get This Cormorant will giue his landlord more Then he would aske in hope that from the poore He may extort it double by the rate Which he will sell his corne and cattle at At pining famine he will ne're repine T is plenty makes this Cormorant to whine To hoard vp corne with many a bitter ban From widowes orphanes and the lab'ring man He prayes for raine in haruest night and day To rot and to consume the graine and hay That so his mowes and reekes and stacks that mould At his owne price he may translate to gold But if a plenty come this rauening thiefe Torments and sometimes hangs himselfe with griefe And all this raking toyle and carke and care Is for his clownish first borne sonne and heire Who must be gentled by his ill got pelfe Though he to get it got the diuell himselfe And whilst the fathers bones a rotting lie His sonne his cursed wealth accurst lets flie In whores drinke gaming and in reuell coyle The whilst his fathers soule in flames doth broile And when the father on the earth did liue To his sonnes fancy he such way did giue For at no season he the plough must hold The Summer was too hot the Winter cold He robs his mother of her butter pence Within the Alehouse serues him for expence And so like Coles dog the vntutor'd mome Must neither goe to Church nor bide at home For he his life another way must frame To hauke to hunt abusing the Kings game Some Nobleman or Gentleman that 's neere At a cheape rate to steale what they call deere VVhen if a poore man his great want to serue Whose wife and children ready are to starue If he but steale a sheepe from out the fold The chuffe would hang him for it if he could For almes he neuer read the word releeue He knowes to get but neuer knowes to giue And whatsoere he be that doth liue thus Is a worse Cormorant then my Aesacus A Figure flinger or a couzning cunning man THE ARGVMENT Amongst a foolish faithlesse gracelesse crew This man hath better credit then Gods word For losse that 's past or profit to ensue Like to a Terme with Customers hee 's stor'd Hee 's a Sooth-sayer but saith seldome sooth And hath the Diuels great seale for what he doth HEre now I draw a curtaine and discouer Amongst all knaues the deuils speciall louer One that doth court him still and daily wooe And faine would see the deuill but knowes not how He has him in his workes that 's his sure place But has not Art to bring him to his face VVhen he could wish him to his outward sense The diuell sits laughing in his conscience Yet you shall haue this figure-flinger prate To his gull client small wit shallow pate As if he were Lord warden of hell fire And Lucifer and he had both one sire The Fiends his couzen Germanes once remou'd From earth to hell where he is best belou'd More fustian language from his tongue doth drop Then would set forth an honest tradesmans shop As if that all Magitians that ere were Vnworthy were his learned bookes to beare Not Zoroastres King o' th Bactrians Nor the sage Magi of the Persians Nor any coniuring sonne of Cham or Chus Nor Faustus with his Mephostophilus Cornelius Agrippa Simon Magus Nor any twixt the riuer Thames or Tagus Nor Britanes Bladud Cambriaes Merlin Bacon Companions for this man would ne're be taken For he is rare and deeply read indeed In the admir'd right reuerend old wiues Creed Takes of the Iewish Thalmud and Cabals Solstitiums and Equinoctials Of auguries of prophecies predictions Prognostications reuelation fictions And as he could the Elements command He seemes as he their minds doth vâ—derstand By Fire he hath the skill of Pyromanty By Ayre he hath the art of Heromanty By Water he knowes much in Hidromanty And by the Earth he 's skil'd in Geomanty Palme Chiromanty couzuing Necromancy To gull the world to fulfill fooles fancy Hags ghosts and goblins furies fairies clues He knowes the secrets of the diuells themselues There 's not a Nimph a fawne or goatefoot Satyre That liues by fire by ayre by earth or water Nor Driades or Hamadriades Betwixt Septentrio and Meridies But he commands them to doe what they list If he but bend the brow or clutch the fist Hee 'le tell a mans hearts secrets what he thinkes Like Oedipus vnfolds th'ambiguous Sphinx With skill surpassing great Albumazers He with intelligencing Fiends confers And by his wondrous Attacoosticon Knowes the Turkes counsell and what Prester Iohn Determines or what businesse now befals Amidst the conclaue of Romes Cardinals He can release or else encrease all harmes About the necke or wrests by tying charmes He hath a tricke to kill the Agues force And make the patient better or much worse To the great toe three letters he can tye Shall make the gowt to tarry or else flye With two words and three leaues of foure leau'd grasse He makes the tooth-ach stay repasse or passe If lost goods you againe would faine haue got Goe but to him and you shall speed or not But he will gaine whether you get or lose He 'le haue his fee for so the bargaine goes He 'le tell you wonders when you are alone Of the Philosophers admired stone And that it from Vtopia first did come Brought to him by a spirit he sent to Rome Whereby t' inrich the world he dares be bold To turne pans pots and dripping pans to gold And in the Goldsmiths burnisht glistring row Place Ironmongers with a fairer show Turne Spits and Andir'ns to bright mettle shining that wheÌ„ coin's scarce you straight may put to coining These and a thousand more as idlely vaine Fooles swallow and he swallowes them againe And though the marke of truth he neuer hits Yet still this Cormorant doth liue by 's wits And ne're will want a false deuouring tricke Till hels Archcormorant deuoure him quicke A Corrupted Lawyer and a knauish Vndershriefe THE ARGVMENT The soule of Commonwealths is in good lawes Their execution makes a happy State But where corruption opes his hungry Iawes Where Lawyers doe encrease not cease debate Such Law wormes are the diuels dearest brood Who make the common harme their priuate good A Hall a hall the tramplers are at hand A shifting master and as sweetly mand His Buckrum bearer one that knowes his ku Can write with one hand and receiue with two The trampler is in haste O cleere the way Takes fees with both hands cause he cannot stay No matter where the cause be right or wrong So he be payd for letting out his tongue Me thinkes that posie which the Painters score Vpon Inne posts would fir this fellowes doore Because he lets his conscience out for fee That here 's a tongue that 's let at liuery This pettifogger like a Lapland witch Sels
These Cormorants are worse then theeues therefore And beeing worse deserue a hanging more A Theife speakes what he meanes takes your purse A Banckrupt flattring robs you ten times worse The one doth sildome rob ye of all your pelfe The other leaues you noughâ— to helpe your selfe And yet the one for little theeuing may At Tiburne make a hanging holliday VVhilest the great Theâ—e may wiâ—h a golden prop To faire Reuennues turne a Peddlers shop In this voracity Father stands not free From his owne Sonne nor frâ—m his Vncle he Being made Executor to'th States of men My Corm'rant is a piddler to him then He wil by cunning and vexation draw Heire wealth and All into his rauenous maw And when his gorge is full vp to the brim Into some lothsome prison vomits him There leaues the honor of a hoâ—se and name To be exchang'd for misery and shame Now tell me they that loue faire truth indeed If such mawes doe not Corm'rants guts exceed And to what place soeuer such resort They are the Fowle Birds both in Towne aud Court A Drunkard THE ARGVMENT A madnesse dearely bought with losse of fame Of credit and of manly reputation A cursed purchase of disease and shame Of death and a great hazard of Damnation In all that 's bad the diuells onely Ape Worse then a beast in the best manly shape THis fellow with the dropsie growne as bigge And much more beastly then a Sowe with pigge His cheekes like Boreas swolne he â—low'd and puft His paunch like to a woolpack cram'd and stuft And by the meanes of what he swil'd and gul'd Hee look'd like one that was three quarters mul'd His breath compounded of strong English Beere And th' Indian drug would suffer none come neere From side to side he staggerd as he went As if he reeling did the way indent One skirt of 's cloake scarce reacht vnto his waste The other dragging in the dirt he trac'd His very braines within his head were stew'd And look'd so crimson colour'd scarlet hew'd As 't were an ignis fatuus or a comet His garments stunke most sweetly of his vomit Fac'd with the tap-lash of strong Ale and Wine Which from his slau'ring chaps doth oft decline In truth he look'd as red as any coale And bellied like vnto a Mare with foale With hollow eyes and with the palsie shaking And gouty legs with too much liquor taking This valiant pot-leach that vpon his knees Has drunke a thousand pottles vp se freese Such pickled phrases he had got in store As were vnknowne vnto the times of yore As when he drinkes out all the totall summe Gaue it the stile of supernaâ—ulâ—um And when he quaffing doth his entrailes wash T is cal'd a hunch a thrust a whiffe a slash And when carousing makes his wits to faile They say he hath a rattle at his taile And when his wits are in the wetting shrunke You may not say hee 's drunke though he be drunke For though hee be as drunke as any Rat He hath but catcht a foxe or whipt the Cat. Or some say hee 's bewitcht or scratcht or blinde VVhich are the fittest termes that I can finde Or seene the Lyons or his nose is dirty Or hee 's pot-shaken or out two and thirty And then strange languages comes in his head VVhen he wants English how to goe to bed And though t' were fit the swine should in his stye bee Hee spewes out latine with pro bibi tibi Which is prouide for Tiburne as I take it Or if it be not hee may chance to make it Then Irish Shachatwhorum from him flees And halfe a dozen welch me Vatawhees Vntill hee falls asleepe hee skinks and drinkes And then like to a Bore he winkes and stinkes This Cormorant in one day swallowes more Then my poore Esacus doth in a score For mine but once a day doth take his fill The drunkard night and day doth quaffe and swill Drinke was ordain'd to length mans fainting breath And from that liquor Drunkards draw their death Displeasing God the diuell he onely pleases And drinkes with others healths his owne diseases And in the end contempt and shame 's his share The whil'st a Tapster is his onely Heire Thus drinke's a wrastler that giues many a fall To death to beggery and slauish thrall And drunkennesse a wilfull madnesse is That throwes men to hells bottomles abisse For why where drunkennes is mistris there Sobriety can hardly maistry beare And ti 's no question but the land hath drown'd More men with drinke then Seas did e're confound Wine is Earth's blood which from her breast doth spring And well vs'd is a comfortable thing But if abused from it then beginnes Most horrible notorious crying sinnes As Murther Lechery Ebriety Gods wrath damnation in variety For he that is a drunkard is the summe And abstract of all mischiefes that can come It wasts him soule and body life and limb My Cormorant's a sober beast to him He that perswades a man to steale or lye To sweare or to commit adultery To stab or murder any man that liues Can it be said that he good counsell giues And he that tempts and forces men to drinke Perswades a man to damne himselfe I thinke For drunken men haue into dangers run Which being sober they would ne're haue done I take them for no friends that giue me wine To turne me from a man vnto a swine To make me void of manners sense or reason To abuse God blaspheming odious treason To hurt my soule and body fame and purse To get the diuell and gaine Gods heavy curse Though many take such for their friends to be I wish them hang'd that are such friends to me For greater enemies there cannot dwell In the whole world nor in the bounds of hell Good friendly drinking I account not euill But much carousing which makes man a diuell VVanting the priuiledge that hath a horse And to be vrg'd and forc'd to drinke perforce For why a horse this gouernment hath still Drinkes what he will and not against his will And he that that good rule doth ouerpasse Hath lesse discretion then a horse or Asse And any man that doth this temp'rance want Is a worse glutton then my Cormorant A prodigall Country Gallant and his new made Maddam THE ARGVMENT Taylors fooles Times bables and prides Apes That as a Squirrell skips from tree to tree So they like Porteus leape from shapes to shapes Like foule swords in gilt scabberds he and she Their carkasse pampers gorgeously bedeckt Whilst their poore starued soules they both neglect NOw stepâ— my young gull gallant into play Who borne to land i' th country scornes to stay To liue by wit thanks Sire he hath no need And if he should be hang'd can scarcely reade Drabs dice and drinke are all his onely ioyes His pockets and his spurs his gingling boyes A Squirrels tayle hangs dangling at his eare A badge which many a gull is knowne