through thy Grace I loath O blessed Lord and enter my solemn Protest against them Defiance and Detestation of them Good God I would not have an irreverent thought of thy sacred Being incomprehensible and most excellent Perfection and transcendent Glory which I would and do with my whole Heart Soul and all the Powers of my whole Man with all integrity acknowledge and subscribe to with mine own Hand to which O Lord I beg the Seal of thy Spirit as a Witness to my Soul that I am in Christ Jesus thy Child and Servant Elizabeth Walker Engaged I am O Lord by Covenant with thee in Baptism to fight thy Battels I beseech thee put on me that whole and compleat Armour that I may be able to resist my strong Enemies which war against my Soul and fight against thee Blessed Lord I desire to prostrate my self at thy Feet in the deepest sense of my own Unworthiness that thou shouldest look upon and help such a Miscreant and forlorn Sinner But for his sake that never sinned I beseech thee support me with thy compassionate Mercy to me a loathsome and defiled Sinner and give me not over to spiritual Judgments hardness of Heart blindness of Mind Impenitency an evil Heart of Unbelief departing from thee Give me not up into the Hands of them that hate me and would work my Ruine I beseech thee do not chuse my Delusions leaving me to a deceivable Heart to which I dare not trust without the Guards of thy Holy Spirit Leave me not O God to my own strength in which I cannot doe the least good and without thine shall fall into the greatest evils of Soul and Body and sink to the bottom of the bottomless Pit of Sin and eternal Misery from which O God I beseech thee let thy unfathomed Mercy in Christ Jesus speedily prevent me and give a mortal stab to all my Corruptions by what Course soever thou wilt take with me only let me fall into thy Compassionate Hands Good Lord bind up my Wounds and heal my Putrifying Soars I beseech thee forsake me not in the time of my older Age when Strength faileth and suffer not the defects of my Body to become the Sin of my Soul I beseech thee suffer no Tryal to be above my Strength but Blessed Lord thou that hast suffered being Tempted make a way for me that I may be able to bear it I beseech thee lay that Hand on me thou tookest hold on Peter with that I may not sink in the deep Waters in which there is no standing Good Lord suffer no Weapon formed against me to Prosper but bring me up out of my Astonishments and Confusions of Soul though the Enemy break in like a Flood let thy Holy Spirit in my Heart lift up a Standard against him Good Lord take a full Possession of my Soul and suffer no Rival with thee let me be guided governed and acted by thee Good Lord let no Sin have Dominion over me I beseech thee fill my Heart and Soul with the Graces of thy Blessed Spirit Deep Reverentialness of thee much Love Fervour and Zeal for thy Glory which I beseech thee cause to be ever very and exceeding dear and precious to me and suffer not the Envenomed Arrows of my Enemy to stick on me but I beseech thee quench all those Fiery Darts the Poison of them drinketh up my Spirits Good Lord apply to my Soul that healing Balsam made of the Blood of the Son of God and with an Indelible Character let thy Law be written on my Heart O Blessed God Father Saviour Sanctifier I beseech thee make this the transcript of my Soul in an Holy Life in Submission and Obedience to thee in all things with all possible Adoration Thanksgiving and Praise unto thee O Lord most due in Heaven and on Earth to which I say Amen Amen Amen She Read also all the good Books with intentest Diligence she could enquire out or be informed of on this Subject and wept Buckets of Tears to quench those Fiery Darts which though she had an Excellent Eye brought her many Years since to the use of Spectacles and caused her oft to use the Psalmist's Expression My Eye is Consumed because of Grief and waxeth Old because of my Enemy And would often Pray that her Bodily-Infirmities might not be her Souls Dis-advantages and say That though they were not her Sins they were the Effects of them Thus was her Life a continual Warfare in which she fought the good Fight of Faith and was more than Conqueror through him that loved her and helped her and I am comfortably upon good Grounds persuaded hath received a glorious Crown of Righteousness from him whose Appearance she so heartily Loved and so constantly and earnestly waited for Her Warfare is accomplished and she rests from these and all her Labours and as she overcame in his Strength who taught her Hands to War and Fingers to Fight and covered her Head in the Day of Battel so to him be all the Glory and Eternal Praises Amen Amen SECT XVIII Friends she used to Pray for I Subjoyn to the Precedent an Account of another Paper which as the last abovenamed I found in a distinct Sheet with this Title A Catalogue of Christian Friends whom I desire in a peculiar manner to present in my poor Prayers to God at the Throne of his Grace and that God would doe for them for Soul and Body above what I can ask Then follows this Prayer GRacious God thou hast commanded to Pray for all Men but especially for the Houshold of Faith Lord thou never saidst Seek my Face in vain but hast with great Condescention and Encouragement Invited thy People to make their Addresses to thee for themselves and others And hast joyned with the Command thy Promise to hear and grant agreeable to thy Will what is best for us Lord thou givest Liberally and dost not upbraid and wilt not send thy People away Empty seeing thou always hast it plentifully by thee I come unto thee in the Name and for the Sake and alone Righteousness Merits and Mediation of thy Son and my alone Saviour Jesus Christ in the behalf of my Self and Christian Friends Lord I beg of thee for thy Church and peculiar People and by name present before thee some known to me my Christian Friends them and their Joynt-Relations Good Lord shower down on them the Blessings of Prayer Gracious God I do beseech thee extend thy choicest Favours to my most near Relations my Dear Husband my Dear Grandson his Father and his Relations with my other near Relations Good Lord be very gracious to our Neighbouring Ministry Mr. Alchorne Mr. Hublon Mr. Loe Mr. Arrowsmith Doctor Fuller Mr. Siday with the rest Lord give them the Plentifull Encrease of their Labours the ingrafting many Souls into thy Kingdom And be very gracious to those who have known my Soul in Adversity and have been earnest Petitioners in my behalf at thy Throne of
Papers if desired which I omit at present for fear of swelling this into too great a Bulk though I am sure several of them equal or rather exceed any thing I have now Published of hers MARKS OF A Regenerate Estate I add this because it is concise and will not take up much Room or Time Giving her Children Directions how to examine and try the Estate of their Souls towards God DO you consent to the Law of God that it is true and Righteous Have you perceived your self Sentenced to Death by it being condemned and convinced of your natural undone Condition Have you seen the utter Insufficiency of every Creature either to be in its self your Happiness or the means of curing this your Misery and making you happy again in God Have you been convinced that your Happiness is only in God as the End and in Christ as the way to him and the End also as he is one with the Father and perceivest thou that thou must be brought to God by Christ or Eternally Perish Have you seen hereupon an absolute necessity of your enjoying Christ and the full sufficiency that is in him to do for you whatsoever your Condition requireth by reason of the fullness of his Satisfaction the greatness of his Power and Dignity of his Person and the freeness and Indefiniteness of his Promises Have you discovered the excellency of this Pearl to be worth the selling all to buy it Hath this been joined with some Sensibility as the Conviction of a Man that thirsteth of the worth of Drink and not been only a change in Opinion produced by Reading or Education as a bare notion in the Understanding Is there an abhorring of all Sin though your Flesh do tempt you to it Have both your Sin and Misery been a Burthen to your Soul and if you could not weep yet could you heartily groan under the unsupportable weight of both Have you renounced the hidden and unfruitfull works of Darkness having no fellowship with them but with Courage and Zeal for God reprove them Do you labour to be Holy in all parts of your Conversation watching over your ways at all times and in all Companies Do you make Conscience of the least of God's Commands as well as the greatest avoiding idle Words and vain Jesting abhorring all reproachfull Speeches as well as violent Actions Do you love and esteem and labour for the powerfull Preaching of the Word above all Earthly Treasures Do you Honour and highly account of the truly Godly and delight in the Company of such as sincerely fear God above all others esteeming them the excellent of the Earth Are you carefull of the Sanctification of the Sabbath neither daring to violate that Holy Rest by Labour nor to neglect the Holy Duties belonging to God's Service publick or private Do you not love the World neither the things of the World but heartily desire and love the things that concern a better Life and so do in some measure love the Appearance of Jesus Christ Can you forgive your Enemies are you easily entreated desirous of Peace and to do good to them that despitefully use you Do you set up a daily course of serving God and that with your Family too if you have any and renouncing your own Righteousness trust only to the Merits of Jesus Christ Have you turned all your Idols out of your Heart so that the Creature hath no more the Sovereignty but is now a Servant to God and Jesus Christ Do you accept of Christ as your only Saviour and expect your Justification Recovery and Everlasting Happiness from him alone Do you also take him for your Lord and King and are his Laws the most powerfull Commanders of your Life and Soul Do his Laws prevail against the Commands of the Flesh of Satan and the greatest on Earth that shall countermand And against the greatest Interest of your Credit Profit Pleasure or Life so that your Conscience Soul Body Life is directly subject to Christ alone Hath he the Highest Room in your Heart and Affections so that though you cannot love him as you would yet nothing else is loved so much Have you made an Hearty Covenant with him and delivered up your self accordingly to him to be his for Ever without Reserve Do you take your self for his and not your own is it your utmost Care and watchfull Endeavour that you may be found faithfull in his Covenant and though you fall into Sin you would not renounce your Bargain nor change your Lord nor give up your self to any other Government for all the World And if this be truly your Case you are one of God's Children and People and as sure as God's Promises are true there is an happy and blessed Estate for you only see that you abide in Christ and continue to the End for if any draw back his Soul will have no pleasure in them Then she concludes with the Prayer set down above page 81. For the Right Honourable Isabella Countess of Radnor This was written to her Ladiship as a Consolatory Letter upon the surprizing Death of her dearly-beloved Daughter the Lady Essex Specot Ever Honoured good Madam I Do truly Sympathize with your Ladiship in your great Sorrows under God's afflicting Hand taking from your Ladiship a very dearly Beloved and desirable Child She was very deservedly so and to all acquainted with her she was a very sweet amicable Friend she lived very desired and she hath died lamented She was not affected with distant Pride a Spirit hated of God and all good People Dear Lady Essex She was of a sweet courteous affable disposition very winning in her loving condescention I am sensible of my own loss who had a share of her favour much more of your Ladiship 's to whom she was so near and dear Good Madam would I could help to alleviate your Sorrows I would put to my Shoulder to help bear your burthen which is to fulfill the Law of Christ But it is not in created Beings farther than God will use them Instrumentally But above in the great Creator in Him is all supply of Grace and Comfort God is a present help in the needfull time of trouble an approved Friend that will not fail you in what you go unto him for agreeable to his Will which assuredly is the best Therefore Good Madam retain kind thoughts of God he hath not cast away your Prayers nor rejected the Prayers of Friends for you though God did not see it good dear Lady Essex should stay longer with you in this World he hath done better for her and you God hath granted to a higher end he hath taken her to himself in Heaven from thence Good Madam you would not have her to return into a troublesom World it is fit to acquiesce in God's most wise Dispose He knew what was best for her and you and to keep silence before the Lord because he hath done it whatever second cause he might use as
Defence God is called a Refuge a hiding-place a strong Tower but for whom the Righteous they run unto it and are safe great Peace have they that love God's Law and nothing shall offend them the direction of God's Word will not only be your safety in troublesome times but your Counsellor also in common Calamities and you may as Luther used read the 46 Psalm and bid your Enemies doe their worst if God give them leave to kill the Body it is the most they can doe no more if you are not on Earth you may be in Heaven be not affraid of a Man that shall dye but take our Saviour's Counsel fear him that can cast Soul and Body into Hell seek Righteousness it may be you shall be hid in the Day of the Lord 's fierce Anger which we have cause to fear is hastning to this sinfull Nation God's Law writ on your Heart and Life may be as the Scarlet Thread that was bound in the Window of Rahab's House which preserved her from Destruction or as the Blood of the Paschal Lamb which marked the Houses of the Children of Israel that the destroying Angel touched not their Dwellings with any of the Plagues of Egypt however for your greatest safety take heed and avoid any indirect or unlawfull means to obtain or preserve a Momentary Life which is as uncertain as short and so provoke God to lead you forth with the workers of Iniquity and so your Redemption may cease for ever and then a great Ransome cannot recover you therefore at any rate purchase the Truth and fell it not to which choice the Lord grant you Wisdom and Preserve you both by his Grace under his Protection unto his Heavenly Kingdom giving you the Blessings of this Life also and prepare you both for that good Life to come that when this shall be no more he may receive you with that happy Saying Well done and reward you with Eternal Glory I am sensible of the length of my Letter but hope it will not be tedious to you something more I would say though of a much less Concern but as a true Friend I would not omit any thing that might render me so but would caution you with better Arguments than mine you may have from undeniable Wisdom which is not to be despised and warn you of what some have smarted for being Sureties for other Men. I would sooner pay a Debt than be bound for any See Prov. 6.1 2. Also Chap. 11.15 the same Author tells you That he that hateth Suretyship is sure on these Considerations I request you you will not be in Bonds to any but to me by Promise that you will never be bound for any Man In all I have requested of you if you have not from your self or some other Friend better Advice let this Letter be my Substitute review it sometimes and afford it a kind Reception of Friendship from me who am your well-wishing Friend ready in any Kindness to express my self Your truly Loving Aunt Elizabeth Walker 1685. A Letter of prudent pious Counsels written to her dear Grand-child then at Felsted-School about two Months before she Dyed which I publish to preserve it for his use and because I hope it may be also usefull to some other Youths of the like Age and Quality This was the last large Letter she ever wrote Dear Johnny I Have some time since received a Letter from Mrs. Bribrist much to my Satisfaction and I hope is thy due Commendation she hath been pleased to give me of thee do not forfeit the same by neglect to perform in thy commendable good Behaviour as hitherto but always render suitable to any good thoughts of thee from herself or others and as helps thereto be guided by the advice and counsel of thy Friends Never forget thy Dear Grandfather's oft Counsels when thou wast at home and since in several good Letters with them make good use of this also Dear Johnny I would not be wanting to thee as far as I am able to express I advise in these following Counsels Be modest humble and obedient to thy Governours and Superiours in that Place be always advised by them that are able and wish thee well it is better more ease and safety to be governed than to govern Lean not to thine own Vnderstanding The Wise Man saith Seest thou a Man Wise in his own Eyes there is more hope of a Fool than of him Dear Johnny Thou art not destitute of good Friends where thou art ready to shew thee Kindness thy Master Glascock of whom be very respective and observant performing all Exercises he gives thee as may be Praise-worthy also Mrs. Woodroof Mrs. Boteler they are thine and our kind Friends I do not exclude Mrs. Robarts Dear Johnny Let none have cause with shame for or of thee to retract their Commendations of thee make the Word of God the Rule of thy Life let it be thy chief Counsellor let thy Reputation have a good Bottom an honest Heart free from guile and hypocrisie being founded on the Scriptures fixed on the the Rock of Ages Christ Jesus that by the winds of Worldly Prosperity Honour or Applause it may never overturn neither by Adversity Affliction or any trouble thou mayest fall into Dear Johnny All things but God are mutable and full of change there is the day of Adversity as well as Prosperity God hath set the one over against the other make sure thy best and unalterable Estate in which will be no change nor alteration but happy once and for ever to that higher End make thy Learning and all other things subservient Improve all opportunities for thy well-being in this World but most for thy Spiritual best Advantage give all dilligence attend at Wisdom's Posts Wisdom is the principal thing its Price is far above Rubies fine Gold cannot equal it nothing can be compared to it search for it as for hid Treasure in the holy Scriptures there thou mayest find the Pearl of so great Price that the World cannot purchase it and it is worth the selling all to have it Let not this Price be put into thy Hand and thou have no Heart to it but let it be said of thee as St. Paul said of Timothy That from a Child he had known the Holy Scriptures they will make thee Wise unto Salvation and will help thee in all Relative Duties in well discharging of which consists much of the Power and Honour of Religion Mind the Precepts let them be the guide of all thy Thoughts and Words and Actions doe all God's Commandments in keeping of them there is great Reward Take notice of all the Threatnings that thou mayest avoid the evil of Sin and the Punishment due to the Commission of it Heed the Promises they are full of the Love of God in Christ let them constrain thee to a circumspect watchfull holy Life in performing the conditions of them Dear Johnny get God's Just and Righteous Law
writ upon the two Tables of thy Heart and Practice with his own Finger the Holy Spirit that thou mayst receive the Truth in the Love of it being renewed in the spirit of thy mind He that is in Christ is a new Creature and he that hath not the Spirit of Christ is none of his It is the one thing necessary to serve God and save thy Soul chuse that good part that may never be taken from thee Dear Johnny Let no day pass if in health without reading the Scriptures one or two Chapters in the Old-Testament the like in the New-Testament read with intention of Mind and so hear the good Word of God in publick and as God hath commanded keep Holy the Sabbath-Day do not violate that Holy Rest with Play Recreation vain Talk Sleep or Idleness or omitting any Duty it requires Eat moderately that Fumes from a full Stomach may not cloud thy Intellectual Performances withdraw from that Company and those Objects which may hinder thee from thinking on the Sermons or any other Religious Duty in them exercise thy self and if God ever give thee opportunity be helpfull unto others in the like for their Spiritual Advantage that all within thy Power may serve the Lord hearing the good Word of God reading it Meditation Prayer and Praises to God are the Duties of the Sabbath-Day spend no part of that in Visiting except to the Sick and Afflicted and allow it not to be done to thee by others sequester thy self from them and all Worldly Discourse but endeavour to keep that one Day in seven like the Angels and Saints in Heaven who serve and do not cease The Seventh Day is God's Tribute out of the Week he hath allowed thee Six for thy secular Concerns out of them bring thy free-will Offering sometime for thy Spiritual Advantage for which the Sabbath affords much and upon the due observation of it is assured from God to his People a communication not only of Spiritual Blessings but of Temporal Blessings also Read the latter part of Isa 58. Let no part of the Sabbath day slip without some Improvement for thy best concern for which also every day must be accounted for The Sabbath is an Hedge and Fence to all Religion if that be broken down there will enter all disorders of Life which Men are prone to to prevent which God seems to guard the fourth Commandment with the Authority of the three foregoing placing it in the midst and the fifth Commandment next on the other side bearing the Sword of the Civil Magistrate and by God's own appointment Numb 15.35 Moses caused the Man gathering Sticks on the Sabbath-Day to be put to Death Dear Johnny be affraid of the Powers though Men be remiss to punish the Breakers of God's Laws yet himself beareth not the Sword in vain Do not gather the Sticks of a mis-spent Sabbath a Day on which God hath set a special Remark a Remember to keep it Holy the great neglect and contempt of this Duty makes it more necessary to be prest more earnestly Keep all God's Commandments to break one link of the Ten violates the whole Chain Jam. 2.10 Keep it intire have respect to all God's Precepts in the latitude of them do not wander from them in the by-paths of a sinfull Life they are better than thousands of Gold and Silver they were of such a concern to David that he begs of God an Holy Compulsion make me to know thy Precepts Statutes and Commandments And Moses useth this Excitation to the Children of Israel for their observing God's Law Thou shalt keep the Commandments of the Lord thy God for they are for thy good Deut. 10.13 and 11.18 Therefore shalt thou lay them up in thy Heart and in thy Soul and doe and teach them Dear Johnny this doe thy self and as far as it may be in thy Power excite others in the same Duty that thou and they with Joshua's Resolution may serve the Lord Jos 24.15 Own God in this World as thou wouldst have him own thee hereafter Some glory in their Shame be not thou ashamed of thy Glory be not ashamed of the Profession of Religion Christ hath said He that is ashamed of me before Men of him will I be ashamed before my Father and his Holy Angels Dear Johnny God hath been very good to thee thou hast lacked nothing good for thee but God hath provided well for thee do not ill requite the Lord by the neglect of any known Duty or doing any thing contrary to the Law of God Sin is a very ungrateful thing do not provoke him to withdraw his Loving Kindness from thee for Soul or Body Woe if God depart What is said of a Tale-bearer That he separates near Friends the same will Sin do if not watched against it will separate between God and thy Soul and will bring an Evil Report to God with worse Effect than Joseph of his Brethren to their Father and will be of worse Consequence than stripping Joseph of his Coat not only the external Blessings of this Life but it will deprive thee of all Internal Comforts God's favourable Countenance which is better than Life and exclude from his Comfortable Presence for ever Sin put the Flaming Sword into the Angel's Hand to debarr our first Parents from the Tree of Life divested and stripped them and all their Posterity of their Original Righteousness and left them and their sinfull Off-spring naked exposed to all the Afflictions and Miseries of this Life and under God's Displeasure to their Eternal Ruine had not Free Grace recovered that lapsed Estate Thanks be to God for Jesus Christ Dear Johnny That thou mayest know that thou art one of those whom he so loved manifest thy Love to him by that Test that Christ put to his Disciples If ye love me keep my Commandments Love is a reflective Act if thou lovest God according to this Discrimination thou mayest know that he loveth thee and gave himself for thee and hath chosen thee one of his peculiar People zealous of good Works therefore if Sinners intice thee consent thou not go not with them lest thou learn their ways and get a blot unto thy Soul Let God's Law be the prohibition of every Evil Way set it with its drawn Sword against all Irregularities of Life that it may be unto thee as the Angel in Paradise to defend in thee the Tree of Life that no ill Practice with the evil Consequences of it may touch thee Dear Johnny Shew thy Love to God by thy Love to his People and poor Members of Christ Christ saith Hereby shall Men know that ye are my Disciples that ye love one another God requires the duties of the second Table of the Law as well as the first and Christ gives a concise and full account of both he being asked which was the first and great Commandment saith Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy Heart with all thy Mind with all
as in her lay and holiness that she might see God Her life was the gainfull Trade to sell all to purchase the Pearl of invaluable price and buy that oil which might fill her vessel and feed her trimmed lamp to meet the bridegroom of her Soul Her life was to be so employed that when her Lord came he might say to her Well done good and faithful servant enter thou into thy master's joy In a word her life was to live Holily that she might die Happily like Enoch to walk with God that he might take her to abide in Christ and in her measure to walk as he also walked to promote God's Interest in this World that in the next she might be ever with the Lord. But this is to affirm not to prove and though I comfortably know all this to be most true that 's no Conviction to the incredulous World I must therefore and God assisting shall produce my vouchers to satisfie others and to excite them and assist them to be like her And a brief method occurs to my thoughts to accomplish this also for our whole Life being Epitomized into twenty four Hours distinguished into Light and Darkness Day and Night of which the longest Life is but a repetition or at most into a Week dividing its days betwixt God and our selves what he allows us and what he reserves to himself And at utmost into a Year with what may occur in such a compass comprehending Heat and Cold Summer and Winter and vicissitudes of Seasons which begin and end and begin and end again and circulate over and over till Breath and Time both cease together To describe one Day one Week one Year of her Life who was so constant even steady in her course I mean in kind and substance not in degrees and measures for she grew in Grace went from strength to strength exceeding her self forgetting what was behind were in some sort to describe her Life in Epitome The following Day being parallel to that which went before and the succeeding Week the copy of the precedent only fairer written and the like of Years SECT V. How she spent a Day I Shall therefore first faithfully relate how she spent a Day that is every Day She always rose early and lived with the least sleep I ever knew or heard of any Her long and frequent weeping and sleepless months in the Agonies of her Temptation had made it easie to her to be satisfied with little Rest But after she had ceased from Child-bearing she constantly rose at four a Clock Winter and Summer I say constantly when in Health yea sometimes when under Indisposition When I say constantly I do not deny but sometimes she might be prevailed with to lie till Six or after but then she at other times much oftner rose by Three yea two in the Morning which much more than equalled the account to say every day at Four And yet her Heart was always up before her when she awaked she was still with God darting up Prayers and Praises to him who giveth his Beloved sleep I confess I have oft kindly argued the case with her to dissuade her fearing it would prejudice her Health urging that Mercy was required more than Sacrifice that overdoing was undoing and it might turn to disadvantage then she would reply Good my Dear grant me my liberty 't is the pleasure of my Life when all is still and quiet no disturbance or interruption but a calm Serenity and silent Stilness to enjoy my self and when I have told her she shamed and by her Practice upbraided my Sloth who slept much longer she would answer Thy Constitution will not bear it and thou hast nothing to divert thee but mayest be alone all day in thy Study but my Family-Imployment and Inspection requires my care and attendance and if I lose my Morning and break my measures it renders me uneasie and puts me into an huddle all the Day When she had slightly slipt on her Cloaths she would go softly into the Chamber which she called the Chamber of her choise Mercies and beloved retirement and without calling of a Servant kindle her own Fire having Charcoal or Dry-wood laid ready and so she spent two hours at least with God and then at Six or after would she call her Maids and duly hear one or both read a Chapter then sit and read her self till the Servants had had what was fit for them which she despised not to do to keep all in good order Then would she inspect the ordering her Dairy and put her humble hands to some part of the work then direct prudently and plentifully for our own Table and the Servants and afterwards dress herself decently with small expence of time then read or work with her Needle till Family-Prayer when she would have all day-labourers about the House called in And if any took their work by the great not for day wages whose time was their own not ours she would out of her own allowance or the Box I hope that Phrase is not unintelligible to many Families if it be St. Paul's Expression of laying by as God hath prosper'd them may help them to understand it give them a Penny a day as much as she thought they might have earned in the time of Family Duty that they might not be robbed of their time God hating Robbery for an Offering nor grudge or come unwillingly when called in and the like satisfaction would she make them if she gave them any diversion from the work they took by the Great as our common Phrase is without the least incroachment on their time under pretence of the advantages the Family afforded them At Dinner which was the only set Meal she ordinarily made she would hardly be prevailed with to drink more than one glass of Wine or Sider and never any Ale or strong Beer and eat moderately In the Afternoon if there were any Neighbours sick she would visit them and call on every poor Neighbour nigh going or coming to counsel or encourage them and as the Season of the Year required prepare Medicines for the Family the Poor and Neighbourhood distilled Waters Syrups Oils Ointments Salves c. or distribute them out or apply them to those who needed and for the rest work with her Needle read good Books and order Family concerns but chiefly the Education of her Children of which more fully afterwards About Five she retired to her private Devotions and they finished came to me and brought the Children with her whilst we had them to be seriously exhorted and counselled alone and then to Pray in secret for the happy success of which good Custom I have as much cause to bless God and do it most heartily as for any circumstance of my Life and if any will deride and scorn it I can say with Job Mock on If idle diversions yield them more comfort I envy not their choice much good may it doe them I learnt this Practice by
that Nature indicated thereby what must relieve and rising up in my Bed I stretched out my left Arm and humbly committing my self and the Success to God said I would Bleed again The Physicians then consented and proceeded to the Operation and opening a Vein in my Left Arm the Blood sprang out so abundantly that they drew at least ten Ounces After the closing the Orifice being laid down again My Dearest Dear who had been all my Sickness my tenderest Nurse my wakefull Watcher and all yea more than could be wished or expected or possibly performed without a spring of so strong and endearing Affection to give and guide the Motion became my Chaplain if I may have leave to use such an Expression and before the Symptoms she hath mentioned arrived at their height kneeled down by my Bed-side and wrestled with God in Prayer with such spiritual Fervency and expressed herself so appositely so pertinently so suitably and with such holy Ardour poured out her Soul to God as I never knew exceeded if equalled by the ablest Christian or Minister in all my Life Surely if ever the promise of pouring out a Spirit of Grace and Supplication was signally made good it was then made good to her and the effects of it to me for as she was a true Daughter of Abraham an Israelitess indeed she rose from her Knees a Female Israel she prevailed with God I fell into so great a Sweat as was scarce ever known and though the Night was full of the Symptoms she names which so afflicted and affrighted her yet she retained her Presence of Mind to assist me with holiest Words and kindest Deeds In the Morning Symptoms abated and when Dr. Needham came and had felt my Pulse He told me he came directly from Dr. Willis who dyed that day at Eleven a Clock of my Disease but added with a Smile he would not have told me so but that my danger was past and said That under God my last night's Bleeding and Sweating saved my Life without which humanely speaking I could not have escaped blessed be God who put that Resolution into my Mind and heard her earnest Prayers Now to return to her Pious gratefull Words I desire to bless God for every Circumstance of his Mercy in my Dear Husband's Sickness The helps and love of Friends the use of Physick with other means the constant and frequent Visits of Neighbour-Ministers their Prayers for us and of many other Friends and good People in our behalf to which I ascribe a great share of indulgent Mercy in sparing to me a little longer my Dear Husband God did not cast out the Prayer of the Afflicted but in my Distress when I cryed unto him he graciously inclined his Ear unto me and helped me Good Lord enable me with my yet continued Mercy mutually to acknowledge thy Kindness and by an exemplary holy Life to declare thy great Goodness to us Building up each other in our most Holy Faith as Heirs together of the Grace of Life And this Mercy wherewith thou yet intrusts me Lord help me more to improve to my Spiritual Advantage and continue him to length of Days with the abundant Gifts and Graces of thy Holy Spirit a choice and signal Instrument of thy Glory I bless thee for thy supporting Mercy in my Relative Duty in my many sorrowfull Nights and Watchings that when my Sleep departed from me I still might make my Addresses to thee who never slumberest nor sleepest for thou always seest the afflictions of thy People and knowest their Sorrows and wilt not despise them that seek thee thou hast restored Comfort to me and to my Mourners praised be thy Mercy 'T is hard to pass-by her tenderness to me of so recent Date as my last Year's Visitation which held me so many Months and brought me so low and at length settled in my Right-hand with such swelling and lameness as took away its use and under God I owe the recovery of it to her Skill and Pains and Kindness by her frequent bathing fomenting and annointing of it and preparing other both inward and outward Medicines so far to use my Pen to pay this small tribute to her happy Memory SECT X. Of her Lyings-Inn in Child-bearing GOD was pleased to give her strength to go out her full time of eleven Children six Sons and five Daughters besides some abortive or untimely Births And if ever Children were Baptized in their Mothers Belly excuse the Expression doubtless hers were so I mean solemnly Consecrated to God with fervent frequent Prayers and wash'd in a Jordan of her Tears who bore them as truly in her Heart as Womb. I find all their Births recorded with most savory and devout Reflections tho' some with more Enlargement as attended with more signal Circumstances I might transcribe them all that the sweet Spirit of Praise which breaths so fragrantly in every of them might kindle and excite the like Temper in others no Incense being more gratefull to the Nostrils of that God who saith He that offereth Praise glorifieth me but I must contract The twelfth of July 1651 God mercifully Deliver'd me of my first Child In 1652 I being big with-Child had an high Fever and was after a great and very hot fit delivered of a Daughter Aug. 29. Being Lord's Day between four and five in the Morning my Fever turned to an Ague and held me ten Weeks and brought me very low yet God in his Mercy graciously spared me and restored my Health I bless him for it Feb. 5. 54. God delivered me of a third Child our first Son God gave me a fourth Deliverance of a Daughter still-born Dec. 23. 55. I went my full time and might have been ever big Blessed be God that spared his unworthy Creature God gave me a gracious Deliverance of a fifth a Son May 15. 57. God gave me a Mercifull Deliverance of a sixth Child a Daughter June 8. 58. After a long and hard Labour continued three days and three nights in great Extremity all about me despairing of Life God mercifully Delivered me of a seventh Child a Son October 22. 59. which Mercy much affected my Dear Husband and for which my Deliverance I most humbly Bless God I confess I never knew to what degree I loved her till that time and never experienced such Raptures of Joy and Thankfullness for any worldly Matter as on that occasion the Impression of which was so deep that the remembrance of it hath a pleasing relish even to this Day God gave me a gracious Deliverance of an eighth Child a Son still-born after an hard Labour December the 11. 1660. In this Lying-in I fell into Melancholy which much disturbed me with Vapours and was very ill It pleased God to suffer my old Enemy very impetuously to assault me c. But more of this when I touch the return of her Temptation God gave me Deliverance of a ninth Child a Son October 9. 1662. God graciously gave me a
sometimes two by the Glass She would be attentive at the reading the Scriptures in the Family and ask her Sister the meaning of some Passages she understood not She would constantly goe alone to Prayer She told one of the Maids the Devil tempted her to Play at Prayers but she had pray'd against him and that he did not trouble her so much since She desired one of her Sisters to grant her a Request and said that she must not deny her Which was Not to refuse any good Counsel when ever it was given her but to accept of it from whom soever it came Another time being with her Sisters as they sate at Work she told them all those things would be dirt in Heaven And it most concerned them to get their Sins Pardoned and an Interest in Jesus Christ Discoursing of the Vanity of this World and Happiness of being Good and fit for Heaven As she had opportunity she would frequently be giving good Counsel with much Sweetness and Gravity If she were ill she would strive to hide it for fear of Grief to her Father and my self saying when we ask'd her how she did Pretty well I thank God Four Days before she died when the Maid went to help her up in the Morning she told her she was very Sick but God would doe her good by that Sickness and she should love him the better for it In this last and short sickness she had very serious apprehensions of Death Said she should die but was not afraid of Death And desired she might die quietly and without disturbance The Physician desiring to give her a little Wine ask'd her if she loved Sack she answered No. He desired her to take a little She said she would if he pleased but she did not love it to fuddle with A few hours before she died she desired to go to Bed out of which she had been taken by reason of the Flegm that troubled her and I being unwilling she said she would now go to Bed for adieu and for all Where she fell a sleep in Jesus enfolded in the Arms of Everlasting Mercies She resigned up her Soul with these and the like Expressions Lord let me come to thee my Lord and my God And Lord Jesus receive my Spirit I acknowledge the Words were given her but she readily received them and oft repeated though she could not speak but with difficulty she had been so affable and winning to all Rich and Poor that many shed more Tears for her than at the departure of their own Children she was much desired in Life and of all who knew her much lamented at Death How partial soever this Relation may seem to any and as from bribed Affection yet I assert the Truth to God's Goodness who hath ordained Praises in the Mouths of Babes and Sucklings and hath I humbly hope now perfected the same in the Consummation of her Eternal Bliss in the Fruition of himself to his Everlasting Praises I have hitherto in this Account left out many remarkable Passages for Brevity let me obtain liberty to transcribe the rest of the Paragraph verbatim word for word as her Pen left it Lord I bless thee that of Eleven for whom I Praise thee thou hast yet spared me two I beseech thee if it may consist with thy good Pleasure continue them in this World keeping them from the Evil of it to a good Old-Age choice Instruments of thy Glory God Lord Sanctifie them with thy Grace and Holy-Spirit and with an Indelible Character and Inscription stamp thy own Image on them that they may be thine by Grace and Adoption Lord be thou their God and Portion I beseech thee put them not off with any thing less than thy self Good Lord I beg that thou wilt take a through and full Possession of their Souls and give them to retrieve my Errors by a more early knowing serving and loving of thee and punish none of mine Iniquities with their Sins but keep them blameless to thy Everlasting Kingdom and bind up their Souls in the bundle of Eternal Life Amen Amen January 23. 1669. Was a day of Mercy to me in the midst of my Affliction being Lord's Day my sweet Mary lying then Dead with us in the House the extremity of my Affection forced me into the Chamber where she then lay a cold piece of Clay I there poured out my Soul to God in Prayer and from thence returned into to the Chamber of my signal Mercies I have received from God who comforteth those who are cast down Though he denied my vehement Desires and wrestlings with him in the time of her Sickness for her longer continuance with me in this World the Lord abundantly made up and compensated my Loss I took my Bible and my Intention was to Read in the New-Testament to allay my own Grief with the dolorous Sufferings of my Saviour but my Bible suddenly fell open in my Lap and my Eye presently fixed upon Habbak 1.12 which was powerfully set home upon my Heart with great Comfort and Refreshment with full Measure running over streams of Mercy and Loving Kindness yeaâ— of tenderest Mercies flowing into my Soul an Eternal God in exchange of a transient Comfort The Lord tendered me himself who is from Everlasting with this Propriety the Lord my God opposing his all-sufficient Righteousness against all my Unrighteousness My Holy One I should not Dye but Live Lord how hast thou silenced my inordinate Passions and Affections in superabundantly out-bidding all Creature-Comforts and Relations I beseech thee enable me so to live here that I may ever live with thee where I shall sin no more and Grief Sorrow and Sighing shall flee away The same Lord's Day in the Afternoon my Daughter Elizabeth whom God gave me June 8. 1658. to our great Satisfaction and Comfort suddenly broke out into a Flood of Tears and most Pathetical Vehement Desires after God and his Grace with Confession and bewailing of her Sins with such sensible and suitable Expressions as shewed it came from her very Soul which drew plenty of Tears of Love and Admiration from us all O my God how shall I love thee how shall I Praise thee for this Grace which I trust was the Work of thy Blessed Spirit Good Lord confirm and establish the Thoughts of her Heart before thee for Ever This day was a Tragi-Comedy if I may so speak Bitterness turn'd into surprizing Sweetness Weeping had continued for a Night but Joy came in before the succeeding Morning even Joy unspeakable and full of Glory I never remembred my Dear under such transports of Spiritual Peace and Satisfaction as from the Consolations of God from the Manifestations of his Love which flowed into her Soul from that Scripture above-named and I may truly say the Impressions of it never wore wholly off but even at many Years distance the naming of those Words would renew the Spiritual Relish she tasted in them and the briny Tears for the natural
Death of one very desirable Child were swallowed up by the Tears of Gladness for the lively Symptoms of the spiritual Birth of another not less dear to us The House was a Bokim not one dry Eye the Pathetick Earnestness with which the Child cried for Pardon and supplies of Grace enflamed and melted all that heard her and the abundance of Tears she shed so freely were like Water put into a Pump it brought up even Buckets full from all that saw them What would I not give for such another Evening I know there are too many in the World who will make these things the Subject of their Mirth and Scorn and opening other Books much oftner than the Holy Bible would be more affected with an auspicious Cut or turning up a lucky Trump than lighting on the divinest Promise in the Sacred Volumes and will stigmatize such Impressions with the Contemptuous Brand of Enthusiasm or at the mildest slight them as the Effects of warm'd Fancy But let them alone I 'll not disturb their pleasing Dreams yet Wisdom is Justified of her Children and though I will not presume to say We speak Wisdom to them who are Perfect and write such things for them who have their Senses Exercised to discern and relish them Yet I cannot but call to Mind how Petrus Blesensis endorsed his Treatise of the Love of God Secretum meum mihi My Secret to my self and I hope this will meet with some Readers to whom it may not be as insipid as the White of an Egg to allude to Job's Expression and for those who think it the cheapest and quickest way to ease their Minds in their unacquaintedness with such things to ridicule them in others I say Mock on I pass by for Brevity-sake many excellent Passages of most Exemplary Piety in several Pages relating to the Occurrences of near three Year Then follows In the beginning of September 1671. my Daughter Elizabeth had a great Fit of Sickness which brought her very low a Fever with a Rhumatism we had the Advice of eight or nine Physicians from London and Chelmsford and five upon the Place c. My self watched many Nights with her the time I could spare in my careful attendance on her I spent in Prayers and Tears at the Throne of Grace in her behalf from whence I had a Mercifull Return One Night she rutled and breathed short which made me fear the approach of Death I having by me Oil of Sweet-Almonds new drawn I desired to give her some of it but was afraid to attempt it and her Stomach did so nauseate what was given her though in it self Pleasant I went from her into another Chamber and earnestly besought God if he saw it good for her to incline her to a willing taking of it I brought her five or six Spoonfuls in a Silver Cup which she received of me without speaking one Word against it and drank it off without the least reluctancy or Regret I do most heartily bless God who did not cast out my Prayer the Oil caused her to Vomit much tough Flegm and withal gently Purged her after which she recovered Health I thank God Blessed God I beseech thee enable her to render to thee suitable returns of Love and Obedience that the residue and remainder of her days here may be in thy Fear not to offend thee but faithfully to serve thee who didst remember and help her in her low Estate that when thou shalt Consummate her Days on Earth she may be ever with thee in thy Eternal Kingdom and Glory Amen I shall conclude this Section with the Account of her Carriage and Demeanour in the last Sickness and Death of this Dearly Beloved Child I confess she is very large in what she writes of it therefore I shall contract it what I can though I find not an impertinent Line in so many Pages and I hope it will not seem tedious because it is so suitable to the End I design which is to propound her Example of Motherly Affection and Christian Submission to and Holy Improvement of God's smarty Tryals She thus begins I have now one of the saddest of God's Providences to record which hath befallen me in the Comforts of this Life I beseech God to sanctifie it to me and those concerned with me Then having at large related all the Circumstances of her Sickness she proceeds She was sixteen Years three Months and eleven Days old when she dyed After fourteen Days Sickness of the Small-Pox she changed her Corruptible State I humbly hope into Immortal Glory where she shall never Sin and the Effects of Sin shall be no more She was a very Beautifull and Lovely Woman c. God gave her a good understanding c. And so having described her Body and Mind exactly she corrects herself but thus to Characterize her may not suit my Pen But I may acknowledge these Accomplishments to the Praise of God's Goodness The ground of my Comfort is her sweet Inclination to the things of God and her Souls concerns as to her eternal State unto which she is gone unspotted from the gross defilements of the World and was Mercifully preserved from ever falling into any scandalous Sin and is set out of the reach of Sin Temptation and Sorrows got into Harbour off a Tempestuous Sea I bless God we have good hopes of her Eternal Peace and Safety for besides a blameless Conversation free from gross Enormities she was very Conscientious in the Duties of Religion she would always speak the Truth She was meek of Spirit very humble and charitable to the Poor and Pitifull and would relieve them as far as she had wherewith to do it she was very tender-hearted fearfull of Sin and of being found an Hypocrite Besides Family-Prayers she Worshipped God in private twice a Day in secret Prayer in the Morning she read the Scriptures and in the Afternoon spent an hour or more in reading good Books She did exhort others to serious Piety and in time of Health would be counselling and advising the Servants privately to be Religious and to take heed of delaying and putting off their Returns to God She had great Impressions on her Heart as to the carefull observation of the Sabbath and when she had made any digression with Worldly Discourse with others she would make acknowledgment she had done amiss a Sin lightly considered and as little bewailed ' Then she relates the Impressions of Gods Spirit on her Heart when twelve Years old of which before and her Patient and Pious Carriage in her Sickness three Years before this Then proceeds She had also Experience of Spiritual Temptations but resisted them with Abhorrence In this her last Sickness she acquainted me with them telling me she had been much troubled with a wicked thing I asked her what it was she said she would not speak it for all the World it made her fear lest she had committed the Sin against the Holy-Ghost Poor Lamb she
all my neglects of my relative Duty I desire to own thy Righteousness and that thou hast punished me less than my Iniquities deserve I bless thee that thou hast spared to me my dear Husband I beseech thee mightily to furnish him with the Gifts and Graces of thy Spirit and give him a long continuance in this Life very instrumental to thy glory the benefit and great advantage of thy Church and People and at last full fruition of thy self in eternal Glory Lord I bless thee that thou still intrusts us Parents to a Child I beseech thee bless this onely one and inable us with much Wisdom and Diligence to exhort instruct and train up for thee her thou hast yet spared to us Good Lord bless her and she shall be blessed Bless her in Soul with the plentifull Effusions of thy Holy Spirit and all the Graces of it Bless her Body with an healthfull Constitution and Honour her with long Life in the ways of Righteousness Suffer not her heart to be set on the gilded Vanities of this World but grant her of the things of this Life what thou thinkest good for her and be thou her God and Portion and when thou shalt conclude her days on Earth I beseech thee receive her to thy heavenly Kingdom Amen Amen I am sensible of the length of the preceding Section and will not make it longer by a needless and useless Apology needless to those who are acquainted with the actings of that sweet Spirit that breathed so fragrantly in her on such occasions and useless to those who are not only Strangers but Enemies to such a temper of Mind and had it contained but twenty lines would have esteemed it too long by fifteen of them I shall endeavour brevity in those which follow SECT XVII Renewed Assaults of her Enemy by Temptation THis was her almost constant trouble for many Years which she used to call emphatically Her Affliction For 't was with her one of his living Members as with our Blessed Lord her and our Head of whom I noted above When the Devil had finished all his present Temptations he departed from him for a season which clearly intimates his returning to renew his Assaults She sometimes had a breathing time vouchsafed her by the gratious Restraints God laid upon her Enemy but usually not very long for using to afford her the best Assistance that I could I sometimes for some Weeks or Months have refrained to mention them that I might not awaken the sleeping Lion and she taking no notice of them I have often said I hope my Dear thou hast been now some good space free from thy Affliction Alas my Dear would she reply with a deep sigh I have kept silence because I would not weary thee with my continual complaints And other whiles would gratefully acknowledge God's goodness in yielding her some Respite some Calms and quiet Intervals Yet after the Day God so strongly comforted her by Habakkuk i. 12. though I cannot say she was wholly free I do not remember she ever complained of her Temptations being either too fierce or frequent as they had been before nor did she once mention them in her last Sickness Blessed be God's goodness to her This cruel but cowardly Enemy usually made his fiercest Onsets when she was exercised with Indisposition of Mind or Body I will give one Instance of each First Under Indisposition of Mind with great Sorrow In the beginning of May 1680. an Affliction befel me my former Troubles returned upon me A wound not healed brake forth with deep Trouble of Mind much Afflicted with blasphemous Suggestions The good Lord rebuke them and with his All-sufficient Grace cast out of my Soul whatever may offend and provoke him to so severe a Scourge which in my own strength I am not able to stand under so unsupportable is the burthen But the good Lord give me to see that by the supporting Grace of his former Compassions I am preserved from the poisonous infection of them Satan taking advantage of my melancholy Disposition growing upon me after the Death of my dearly beloved Child Mrs. Margaret Cox renewed these Assaults And as in such Cases the subtile malitious Enemy will follow his blow home as far as he is suffered and multiply every Molehill into a Mountain as we speak Proverbially so he endeavoured to increase her disquiet by another very small Circumstance For she proceeds in her Complaint I had also a great damp and check on my earnest Endeavours to teach my little Boy his Book He at little more than three Years old would read well in his Primmer on a sudden he forsook it not through any evil Disposition in him I am not able to give an acccount of it but it occasioned me much grief and trouble But I bless God for his Mercy to me Half a Year after I began a-new with him and he hath with greater readiness to it and love of it learned much better than before So indulgently condescending was the divine Goodness to relieve her suitably and prevent the occasions her Enemy catch'd at to disturb her by Secondly Under Indisposition of Body by a long Sickness It pleased God to suffer my old Enemy impetuously to assault me This Visitation was very cloudy which then I could not see through nor apprehend God's Goodness though he vouchsafed many discoveries of his Favour to me I shall not multiply Passages of the same import nor pursue all the Methods her Christian Prudence made use of for her support as frequent Conference with my self and some few choice Christian Friends whom she much esteemed for their great Piety experience in spiritual Matters and prevalence with God in Prayer She made no noise with her Troubles revealed them but to few and to those whom she judged fittest to counsel and comfort her and sympathize with her in her Temptations as having had Experience of the like or been oft consulted by them who had But her best Defence was to take to her self the whole Armour of God and her chief Refuge was to the Throne of Grace to appeal to God who comforteth them who are cast down and to wrestle with God for help in time of need whom she used to importune to teach her hands to war and her fingers to fight in her spiritual Warfare and to carry on the War at his own Charge because the Quarrel was his and managed against the grand Enemy of his Glory as much as of her Peace I shall transcribe a Paper which I find Endorsed thus In time of Temptation writ by me Elizabeth Walker O Most holy wise powerfull gratious faithfull unchangeable and eternal God I thy poor afflicted Creature tossed on Waves and Billows of Sin and Temptation fly unto thee for Refuge in this Storm begging of thee thy supporting Grace helping me against the Assaults of my spiritual Enemies by what wile soever they invade my Soul with abhorr'd impure Motions vile and detestable Suggestions which
but my Dear Wife's Pains and Trouble I told her we had now continued this Custom a great while and that I thought it too burthensome to her a Dinner signified not much to the Rich and for the Poor I would take Care they should be no losers She at present seem'd well pleased with what I said and acquiesced in it But upon second Thoughts she said My Dear I thank thee for thy Tenderness to me to prevent my Trouble but I am rather willing to undergo it were it greater than to discontinue a Practice so long used constantly and thereby occasion any mis-interpretation as if it proceeded from Parsimony or abatement of Kindness therefore I intreat thee let us continue to doe as we have hitherto done Yearly only let us try to have all in two Days we used to have in three and if our House will not contain them all at twice to some of the poorest I will send double as much as they could have eaten here And so it was agreed and performed and so her last Christmass was as kind and Charitable as those of former Years SECT XXII Of the Marriage of our onely Daughter and her Death in Childbirth the same Year yet leaving a Son IT is not to be wondred at that she should write so many Pages of this Come-Tragedy as I called another Providence mentioned before a Trage-Comedy whose Pious Kindness was so mindful in Holy Prayers and Praises not of her self alone but of her Honoured Friends I shall touch but one or two for Instance and I cannot single out any more suitable than of those Right Honourable Ladies whose sweet Condescension not only vouchsafed to give this our Dear Daughter frequently their kindest and familiar Conversation but borrowed and desired hers almost whole Summers divers Years Concerning these young Ladies thus her Pen speaks The Lady Ann the Lady Mary and the Lady Essex Rich had a Pious Education under â—he tender Care of the Right Honourable the Countess of Warwick their Aunt whose great Care of them and Kindness and Love to them supplied and over-shot the measures of what could be expressed to them by the tenderest Mother Of two of their Marriages she writes thus December the 11th 1673. The Vertuous and Right Honourable the Lady Mary Rich was Married to Mr. Henry St. John the Eldest Son of Sir Walter St. John a Pious good Family and an ancient Barronet and great Estate Blessed Lord thou hast abundantly enriched them with the Blessings of the Nether Springs full streams in the good things of this Life let it not be their all but turn these Waters into Wine give them the Blessings of the Vpper Springs the plentifull Effusions of thy Spirit flowing into their Hearts and Souls that they may build up each other in their most Holy Faith as Heirs together of the Grace of Life June 16. 1674. The Honourable Lady Essex Rich was Married to Mr. Daniel Finch Eldest Son to his Father then Lord Keeper of the Great Seal of England Good Lord give them the Blessings of thy Right-hand and continue to them the Blessings of thy Left-hand also But let not their Portion be only in this Life let thine own Prerogative have the Supremacy in their Hearts and accelerate and quicken them to thy Service that Glorifying thee on Earth they may be in Everlasting Glory with thee in Heaven Amen Amen I will mention no more like Instances and humbly beg Pardon if I have been too bold in touching these I now come to the Title of this Section and shall add nothing of my own only transcribe and that with Abbreviation what her Pious Pen hath left me not that one Word need to be retrenched upon other accounts but only to avoid Prolixity January 17. 1675. My Dear Husband and my Dear Child Margaret Walker went to London in reference to our great Concern her Marriage our onely one so dear to us She was Married February the 1st 1675. to Mr. John Cox Barrister of Grays-Inn His Father lived at Coggshall his Relations very honest good People and very well to live in the World God hath graciously provided for her a loving Husband a sober Person and I hope a good Man God consummated their Choice by Mr. Gifford a worthy good Man Minister of St. Dunstan's in the East in London whither she was accompanied by the Right Honourable the Countess of Warwick with the chief of the Family from Warwick-House and with many other manifestations of Kindness God shined upon her and in all respects gave her a comfortable Day I draw the Curtain of a modest c. over the rest lest the Thankfulness of her who was so truly humble should incurr the unkind censure or suspicion of Vanity and concluding what I have omitted with these Words And with many other Favours God hath honoured them She proceeds Lord I desire to own thy Goodness as the Fountain Head from whence flows all Good to be enjoyed in the things of this Life and concerns of a better and more endurable Estate for their Souls advantage For which I beseech thee give them a capacious Heart to know love serve and enjoy thy self and vouchsafe them of the good things of this World what thou seest convenient for them and help them to be contented to be without what in mercy thou deniest them Good Lord keep both them and theirs inoffensive in this World and when they shall go hence and be no more in this Life Lord grant that where thou art they may be also in Eternal Glory Amen Amen Thus far the pleasant and more lightsome part Now follows what 's more dark and dolefull I have now a very smarty afflictive Dispensation from God to record very pressing by his afflictive Hand on us I acknowledge very deservedly for my Sins the Lord hath taken from us out of this Life our onely One the most dearly Beloved Daughter and Child of my choice Aâ—fections Mrs. Margaret Cox she was mâ—â—ried February the first 1675. The 19th 〈◊〉 November following she was Delivered of a Son Lord's Day seven a Clock in the Morning She continued pretty well two or three Days Tuesday following sickned of a Fever and dyed December the 5th 1675. But God in the midst of his just Judgments remembred his Mercy to us hath spared the little one to us Blessed be God for it and received the Motherless Babe into Covenant with himself by Baptism I Bless God he is the Son of good Parents his Father a very sober and a good Man his dear deceased Mother was a fine lovely handsome well accomplished Woman both in Nature and Grace to God's Praise I do make my Acknowledgments let it have no other Censure She was of a quick Apprehension modest humble discreet and of a good Judgment and well fitted for Family-Government and Imployment She had a sweet amicable Deportment and gracefull Behaviour these Endowments through God's Kindness to her rendred her very desirable to all that knew
her God was pleased to give her much Honour and Esteem in this World with which she retained a lowly Mind with much sweet obliging Kindness to all acquainted with her She was very Friendly to the meaner sort very kind and charitable to poor People to whom she had a very compassionate Heart and bountifull Hand in relieving of them which she did with great Privacy though God hath been pleased since her Death to make it known by them in their Acknowledgments and bewailing their loss of her I bless God she lived very desirable and dyed much lamented she was a very loving dutifull Child to her Parents a very endearing Wife to her Husband and very sweet in all her Relations she was very acceptable to all her Husband's Kindred by whom the loss of her was much bewailed God was pleased to make her married condition very Satisfactory to herself and all concerned and though God was pleased to conclude it in so short a time taking her out of this Life scarce eleven Months from her Marriage which was accompanied with great Joy and Kindness of Friends yet God filled it with the close crouded manifestations of his Love and Favour to her yea her whole Life from her Cradle to her Grave to which she went with much Decency and Honour and which is much more valuable unblemished free from the gross defilements of this World The Lord was pleased to fit her for himself by a tender crazy Constitution of Body she was much afflicted with Head-Ach and other Illness which she bore with much quietness and submission under God's Hand by which he led her to the consideration of a better Life About four Years of Age on days of Prayer and Fasting she would sit by me the whole Day and at Prayer hold up her little Hands which in her riper Age with continuance from her Childhood she performed more understandingly She was constant in Religious Duties conversant in God's Word the Holy Bible which whilst she was a Child she oft read through and got much Scripture by Heart Also read many good Authors several good Books her Dear Father or my self commended to her which Practice she did not decline neither before nor since her Marriage She constantly at least twice a Day made her Addresses to the Throne of Grace in Prayer When she was very young she would give an account of a Sermon and repeat most of the Particulars or Heads of it and as she was religiously habituated from her Childhood I do humbly hope God confirmed her by his Grace to Perseverance in the Ways of God She would excite others not only in her own Practice but by her Counsels as to their Souls Concerns Amongst other her good Advices as her Dear Husband since her Death hath informed me she said to him ' That she did not question but he Prayed alone before he had her and said so did she and desired him to continue the same that one Prayer might not be lost by their Joint-Prayer which they used once a day going together alone to seek God besides publick and Family-Worship They oft said that nothing should more oblige them to each other than their mutual Love to each others Souls in their helping one another in their way to Heaven I bless God for his signal kindness to her in him so near and dear to her not only making them one Flesh but one Soul and both one Spirit in himself In the time of her Travail and following Sickness she was very Meek and Patient as in all her former Sicknesses and Pain The Disease took her Head which deprived her of her Understanding but I bless God that so guarded her Tongue that she did not dishonour him The Lord was pleased to give her some little relaxation of her Disease in which Intervals she exprest her self Piously And desired of her Relations the carefull and good Education of her Child said she had oft begged of God in the behalf of her Relations by Marriage and for those who were not disposed of that God would fix them so as might be their best advantage both for Soul and Body and desired there might continue a Loving Respect between both Families which I do beseech God to preserve Her Disease did not give her leave to express herself as otherwise she might have done much more to God's Glory and the Comfort of her Friends But Blessed be God for his Grace bestowed on her that her Evidences for her Eternal Happiness were not to seek upon her Dying-Bed but were in the safe Hand of our Saviour and sealed with the Signet of God's Right-hand with an indelible Character and Inscription of God's Holy Image and Law on her Heart by his Holy Spirit as a Title to those Eternal Mansions of Glory purchased for her with the precious Blood of her dear Redeemer Jesus Christ in which Blessed Estate I humbly hope she is in the Everlasting Fruition and Enjoyment of God his Elect Angels and those Blessed Spirits of the Just made perfect Her Flesh also shall rest in hope of a glorious Resurrection when Mortality shall be swallowed up of Immortality God will joyn Soul and Body in an indissoluble Union with himself in that abundant Entrance into the Everlasting Kingdom of our Lord Jesus Christ so shall she be for ever with her Lord in thy Eternal Praises In which Persuasion good Lord quiet my Heart that I may acquiesce in thy unerring Wisdom Good Lord scatter the Foggs and Mists of my unruly Passions that hinder the sight and view of thy reconciled Face and Favour to me I beseech thee Pardon my Sins and Offences which have provoked thee to this manifestation of thy displeasure against us bereaving us of our Children that of eleven none remains and of this the loss more grievous than any of the rest though they with her through thy Kindness very desirable to us but she our last one and all Lord shouldst thou take my Forfeitures how destitute should I be not only of Children but of all thy sustaining Mercies and above all in the irreparable loss of thy self who art abundantly better to me than Sons and Daughters Good Lord sanctifie to me this Dispensation and help me to find out the accursed thing which provoked thee to smite with so heavy a Blow I beseech thee with this correcting Hand beat off the busie Flies of Sin and Temptation that they may not corrupt my Soul Good Lord cleanse me from all filthiness of Flesh and Spirit that I may perfect Holiness in thy Fear run with Patience the Race thou hast yet set before me finish my Course in thy Service and conclude my Life in this World to thy Glory in the Salvation of my Soul for Christ's Sake Lord as for my self I beg of thee to be very Gracious to those related to us by the Marriage of our Dear Child though thou hast loosed the Knot that so nearly joyned our Families I beseech thee do not untie those
Jesus in Sincerity she loved the Lord her God with all her Heart and all her Soul with all her Might and all her Strength and her Neighbour as herself She would speak evil of no Man do evil to no Man but did all the good she could as she had opportunity especially to the Houshold of Faith And though she loved the whole World with a love of Benevolence she loved those chosen out of the World with a Love of Complacency She had a peculiar Esteem of and Affection for God's People Her choice delight was in the Saints and those who excelled in Vertue She was not ashamed to be accounted their Sister whom Christ was not ashamed to call his Brethren the Profession but much more the power of Godliness was so far from being terminus Diminuens an abatement of her value and kindness that it much endeared those to her in whom she found it and fastened those Bonds more strongly which had been tyed by Nature Neighbourhood or Friendly Conversation I excuse not the length of this Section it being not easy to write too much of that of which she never thought she practised enough though she had as it were habituated it into her Constitution it being as the Element in which she lived SECT XXIV Of her Care to advance God's Glory and the Salvation of Souls I have so far prevented my self in both those in what I have already written of her that scarce any thing remains to be farther added anew concerning them and I confess it seems to my self somewhat improper to make a distinct Section of what is the Subject of the whole The Care to promote those was as the Spinal Marrow in the Body yea as the Soul which animated the whole as the Pith which ascends from the Root of a Tree through the Trunk to every Branch and Twig She set the Lord continually before her had respect to him in all her Thoughts and Words and Actions and reveered his Presence in all her Natural Moral Civil and Religious Performances Seeing him that was Invisible that nothing might escape from her which would provoke or dishonour him who is of purer Eyes than to behold Iniquity she yielded the Throne of her Heart to God and whether she spake or wrote to others or Prayed for them she exhorted or entreated that the Interest of God's Glory might be uppermost obtain the Supremacy and nothing be its Rival or stand in competition with it Such Expressions frequently occurring in many of the Passages above related and transcribed from her Papers and for the promoting the Salvation of others she remembred and practised our Saviour's Counsel to St. Peter Thou when thou art Converted strengthen thy Brethren I have given account above of her indefatigable Care and zealous Diligence in instructing Children Servants Neighbours and it is unreasonable to conclude I have little to say on this Head because I will not say over again what I had so fully said before Her Converse was generally very Serious Savory Edifying few have come to see me since she dyed who have not told me how frequently and faithfully she used to give them good Advice and Exhortations to be sincerely Religious and indeed she was endowed with an extraordinary measure of Courage Prudence Faithfulness to give necessary free kind and seasonable Reproofs Admonition and Instructions and would not suffer Sin to be upon their Souls whom she had any opportunity to rescue from it at least would use her best Endeavours to effect so good a Work and would speak so home and plainly to them who needed it that I confess I have sometimes thought she rather exceeded and have between our selves intimated so much to her to which she would wisely and with just Apology reply My Dear we must deal freely and speak home in such Cases not mince the Matter and speak slightly it will not be minded if we do and as good never a whit as never the better it is well if all we can say will effect what it is said for and if they be not convinced both of their own Errour and our Good-will and made to feel what we speak by our plain and faithfull Earnestness all the rest is lost to them and us they 'll be no better for it and we shall not have the comfort of discharging the part and duty of true Christian Friendship And she had often good success but once above other times so eminent and signal I can hardly forbear to relate it and I have heard her more than once or twice make mention of it with Thankfulness and Comfort and as a good encouragement to do the like She had a very awakened Sense and deep impressions on her Mind of that Estate which is on the other side of Death and was full fraught with Love and Pity to Immortal Souls and would do all she could to the saving of her own and others and therefore accounted all kindest offices not worth the name of true Friendship which stopped short and reached not to at least had not a fair tendency towards the Eternal Salvation of her Friends SECT XXV Several Graces in which she was most Eminent I Have cause to repent those hasty Thoughts set down before page the 50th as Heads to be touched more fully by which I have made my self Debtor to the Reader 's Expectation to write somewhat of the Title of this Section for when I set my Thoughts to single out in the Prospect of them all which shined with the greatest Lustre all were so fair and bright I am at a loss on which to fix the Preference For I may say of her with Modesty and Truth what St. Gregory Nazianzen saith of his Sister Gorgonia with wonder That she excelled in all Vertues and St. Jerome of Nepotian that he was so Eminent in all Graces as if he had excelled but in some one alone She was compleat in Christ had taken to herself the whole Armour of God not an almost-Christian but throughly furnished to every good Word and Work And as God had preserved her that though she was assaulted by many Buffetting Temptations she was not overcome by them and that no Iniquity had Dominion over her to Reign in her Mortal Body or Immortal Soul to blot her Name or Profession with any Scandalous Offence so every Grace of the Spirit with all which she was very plenteously adorned exerted its self with Vigour was not raked up in faint and lazy Habits Her Knowledge in which the New Man is renewed and without which the Wise Man tells us the Heart cannot be good was clear solid and indeed Masculine beyond the Proportion of her Sex and Degree as may appear by all she wrote and she would discourse and argue very knowingly and with sound Judgment upon any Point of Divinity as occasion offered The Oil which fed this Lamp was her much Reading good Books but especially the Holy Scriptures in which she meditated Day and Night and if
and Songs of Thanksgivings who did so anticipate that State and Work whilst here below She hath left sixteen whole Pages of one form of Thanksgiving which she begins thus Lord what shall I render to thee for all thy unspeakable Benefits in thy Mercies to me I beseech thee in the remembrance of them let thy Holy Spirit excite and stir up in my Heart a thankfull Acknowledgment Lord I bless thee for thy self in whom all Perfection is Eternal and Unchangeable an Everliving and Immortal God filled with all adorable Excellency the Author and Original of all things the first Principle of all good who art most amiable to an Intellectual Eye most adequate and proportionable most suitable to Immortal Beings Thou Lord art the Felicity and Bliss of Souls c. And so she proceeds sixteen whole Pages without any vain Tautologies only beginning the several Paragraphs with Lord I bless thee or the like this is written the most curiously of any thing I yet have found of hers and continues to the End with most raised Fervours of Holy Praises I can scarce forbear to say with flowing streams of sweet and Pious Eloquence I will venture my Reader 's Candour to excuse my adding the last Lines I bless thee for the hopes I have of a glorious Resurrection when thou wilt be glorified in thy Saints thou wilt say to the North give up and to the South keep not back that thy Sons may be brought from far and thy Daughters from the ends of the Earth and all as Faithfull Depositories shall restore to thee at that universal Jubilee then shall my Dust arise and Praise thee I bless thee for thy Kingdom afree Donation and Inheritance of thy Saints there shall be no pricking Briar or grieving Thorn when I shall neither fin nor sorrow any more but for ever be in the Exaltation of Eternal Bliss where thy Angels Cherubims and Seraphims adore and worship thee with the highest fervour of Zeal and Love and where my Soul shall shine in its full Strength in thy Everlasting Praises Amen Amen Amen And there is not one Line less warm and savoury in all the other than are this Beginning and Conclusion of it The time would fail me to recount and reckon up all the other Graces in which she was Eminent and to blazon their Lustre and reflect their Brightness The tenderness of her Conscience which was very remarkable as I could Evidence in many Particulars this Pulse of her Soul beat very quick but withall was very even and uniform she used not to strain at Gnats and swallow Cammels Her Rule was in dubious Cases always to chuse the safest to the best of her Judgment not to consult with Flesh and Blood and be swayed by the Advice they suggested to do nothing rashly but with due and prudent Deliberation She was affraid of Sin as Sin and therefore of all Sin and would abstain from all appearance of Evil. Though she was not such a Stoick as to esteem all Sins equal yet she esteemed none in it self little because there is no little God to sin against no little Law to be despised no little Heaven to be lost no little Hell to be endured But an Almighty God a Royal Law an Heaven of unconceivable Glory and an Hell of endless and easeless Torments were concerned in all and it renders the least Sin in its own Nature a very great one to venture on it boldly against the light and dictates of Conscience Her Care to improve that Inch of precious Time on which so vast an Eternity depends was very signal She squandered not an Hour scarce suffered a Moment to run waste she used she knew no Games nor needed other to relax or recreate her Spirits but vicissitude and variety of commendable Imployment the change of Business sufficiently relieved her when she was weary of one she counted it a Refreshment to set upon another As a Traveller who sometimes Rides and sometimes Walks but still proceeds continues his Journey changes his Posture but not his Design and few ever made Religion their Business more intently and with fewer Interruptions Her publick Spiritedness should not be forgotten the concerns of the Nation especially of the Church lay very near her Heart She preferred Jerusalem before her chief Joy I will wrap up this Section with two which were diffused and spread over all the rest Her Zeal and her Humility Zeal is not so properly a distinct peculiar Grace as the Cream and Flower of them all the Oil which swims upon the waters of the Sanctuary the Varnish which both preserves them from fading and gives a shining advantageous Lustre to all the Colours with which the lively Picture of the new Creature is drawn not a distinct piece of the Divine Armour but the Edge and Keenness the Furbishing and Brightness both of offensive and defensive Arms. Her Zeal was very vigorous and lively she knew not what it was to be dull and sluggish Whatever her Hand found to do she did it with all her Might and Nature which too often is the remora of Grace in her was a nimble and useful Hand-maid to it She had an agile active Body Spare and Lean feared to be Fat saying She hated to be clogged with a foggy bulk of Flesh and of a vivacious sprightly Soul and these streams being in the right Channel Whafted her as Wind and Tide to her desired Port and Harbour that she was never becalmed or Wind-bound but Sailed amain and kept on her Course with swiftest Expedition till she had finished it with Safety and with Joy not that I ascribe it solely or chiefly to these but principally to the Divine Gales of the Holy Spirit of God so freely and plenteously vouchsafed to her that Wind which Bloweth where it listeth And for ever Blessed be his Goodness which so often filled her Sails Lastly She was cloathed with Humility as the Apostle counsels this I might call her Dust-gown for the aptness of the Allusion but it hung not so loose about her but was girded on with the Girdle of Truth about her Loins she wore it constantly no dress was more becoming herself or others in her Account she studied to bring it into Fashion by her Example and Advice she bought several of Mr. W. A's Treatises of that Subject to give to Friends those who received them will attest it and I hinted before she had made preparations to write a Tractate of it Amongst other things she had to say of it she had prepared this Encomium That it is the Foundation that gives Stability the Strength which gives Security the Ornament that reflects Beauty and the Completion which gives the finishing stroaks to all other Graces I shall not after all this need to draw her Character distinctly if I do any thing in that it shall be added in the close of all I am now arrived at my Mournfull Heavy Loss and her much waited for and desired Gain and great
Advantage her much bewailed Death to prepare for which had been her daily work for many Years which happened February the 23d this present Year 1690. Her Sickness was short but blessed be God her great Work was not then to do She began to complain Wednesday Noon but dined with me took her Bed that Afternoon with design to sweat with a Dose of the Lady Kent's Powder but could not sweat I sent for Dr. Yardly early Thursday Morning a Vein was opened other Administrations ordered which seemed to succeed so well that we had scarce any apprehensions of Danger She sate up four hours Saturday till seven at Night and thought herself and so did we refreshed and better by it but a complicated Disease a Rheumatism Erysipelas and Peripneumonia by God's Wise and Holy Righteous Ordering prevailed against her Strength and our Hopes And on the Lord's Day she passed to her dearest Lord and the well-beloved Bridegroom of her Soul to begin that Eternal Sabbath which shall never be interrupted nor cease She spake not much in her Sickness hindred by the shortness of her Breath and swelling of her Face What she did was suitable to her Holy Life and I believe God hid from her as well as us the near approach of her Death in Mercy to us all One of the last Words she spake to me was before my going to Church A short Prayer my Dear before thou goest She was Buried February the 27th following with that decency which is fitter for others to relate than my self and now she sleeps in Jesus who by his Burial perfumed and warmed that Bed of the Grave for all his Members where we leave her in hopes of a Glorious Resurrection when her Dust shall rise to praise him AN APPENDIX Containing some few of the Directions she wrote for her Childrens Instruction mentioned Sect. 12. And some few Letters written by her I Desire it may be remembred she wrote these not for grown and experienced Christians who might be fitter to instruct her than be assisted by her much less with the least Prospect they should ever be published or seen by many Eyes my own never saw them till hers were closed but I hope may be useful for young ones and Beginners and as such I recommend them to her Friends to communicate to their Children if they think good and have not given them better of their own and therefore it is not just to measure her Abilities by the scantling of this Performance but to consider the End to which it was designed to suit the Capacities and assist the tender Minds of those for whom they were written when I guess they might be about twelve or fourteen years of Age for one of them died at sixteen and with this equitable Allowance I hope they may be very passable if not commendable and usefull For my Dear Children Mrs. Margaret and Elizabeth Walker IT is the duty of Christians to Pray fervently and frequently with Faith with Humility with Sincerity with Constancy with watchfulness in the Spirit with Warmth and Life Prayer is a means whereby we give Worship to God giving him the Glory of all his adorable Perfections Prayer is the Soul's Motion to God Desire and Expectation are the Soul of Prayer Prayer is a knocking at the Door of God's Grace and Mercy in Christ for all manner of Supplies you stand in need of Prayer is a Wrestling with God the Lord is willing to forgive ready to hear and help yet he delighteth to have his Strength tryed Gen. 32.24 25. The work of Prayer is not so much to lift up the Hands and Eyes and Voice as to lift up the Heart and Soul In Prayer is required extensiveness and intensiveness of Mind and Heart with Importunity which consisteth in a frequent renewing of our Suits to God notwithstanding all discouragements with a patient waiting for returns of Grace Prayer must be a Premeditated Work as to the Sins to be confessed the Wants expressed the Mercies acknowledged but especially to have right apprehensions of the Purity Majesty Immensity All-sufficiency Fidelity and Bounty of the Lord to whom you Pray with Faith in his Promises and Providences and his Almightiness to supply your Wants in the things of this Life and the Life to come Be much with God in Secret Prayer and let not the fire of the Spirit and Holy Zeal be wanting in any Duty which in the Hearts of God's People send out Holy Vapours of fragrant spiritual Desires and Requests to God Vials full of Odours which are the Prayers of the Saints Rev. 5.8 compared to sweet Incense Mal. 1.11 How near are the Saints thus exercised to Jesus Christ There is but a step as it were between them and Heaven What precious answers of Grace receive they oftentimes from the Oracle of God You will do well to observe the fittest Season for Secret Prayer though a Christian is to Pray at all times yet at sometimes more especially when we meet with any new Occurrence of Providence every fresh dispensation of Providence is a prompt to Prayer as when any Affliction befalls us Jam. 5.13 So when any fresh Mercy is received it is a fit season to go aside and to acknowledge God's Goodness and our own Vnworthiness 2 Sam. 7.18 When you find the Spirit of God moving upon your Soul exciting you to the Duty Cant. 2.10 your Hearts should answer again Thy Face Lord will I seek Psal 27.5 When you find your Heart in a settled and composed Frame then also is a fit season for secret Prayer When as David's your Heart is fixed not disturbed with any Secular Business The Morning also is a fit Season for Secret Prayer the Mind is most composed and troubled with fewest Diversions See her Practise Sect. 5. pag. 33. It were well to be with God as soon as you awake to offer up to him the first-Fruits of every Day this was with others David's manner Psal 5.3.139.3 The Evening also is a fit Season for Secret Prayer Psal 55.17 not only to begin but to conclude the Day with God Sleep not till you have begged his Pardon for your Sins committed and Praised him for the Mercies received that Day When you go about any Holy Duty set by all Worldly Occasions say to them as Abraham did to his Young-men Stay you here while I go aside and Worship God Gen. 22.5 Do not ordinarily go to Prayer when your Anger is stirred and your Mind full of Perturbation 1 Tim. 2.8 lest you offer up the Sacrifice of a Fool 1 Kings 19.11 12. and speak unadvisedly with your Lips Do not actually engage in Prayer when you are inclined to Sleep and Drowsiness you must be wakefull when you Pray if you would watch unto Prayer Also allot and set out a due Proportion of Time for the Duty of Prayer a slighty huddled Prayer is a blind Sacrifice carlessness in Prayer breedeth and feedeth Inconstancy and Instability in Prayer Slightiness in Prayer is an
unwritten Paper which remains may seem to imply she designed more This is just the fortyeth part of what she had written for her Childrens use being 6 Pages in her Book of Twelve score so that I have enough if I would enlarge to tire my self and satisfie not to say clog my Readers But I will consult my own ease and theirs in adding little more of what an account is given Sect. 12. under Eleven or Twelve distinct Heads I confess I am tempted to add the Example to the Rule I mean the large Form of Prayer and Thanksgiving each containing 16 Pages But I 'll forbear only as I toucht a few Lines of the beginning and end of the Thanksgiving before So I shall give a little taste of this Prayer which she begins thus Good Lord give me to know thee who passest all Knowledge and though I cannot comprehend thee in the perfection and fullness of thy Glory yet vouchsafe to give me to apprehend thee in thy Love and pardoning Mercy to me a poor miserable Sinner who in my first Being was invested with an happy and righteous Estate from which O Lord in my first Original I soon declined c. And so proceeds most humbly to acknowledge the guilt and pollution of Original Sin as I think yea know most Orthodoxly If our Bibles our Articles our Homilies yea our Liturgy be more Orthodox than Socinus and those Ephramites who lisp his Sibboleth because they cannot or will not pronounce aright the Shibboleth of the Church of England's good old Doctrine Then she proceeds to a large Confession of actual Sin both of Omission and Commission against both Tables Acknowledging the demerit of them proceeds to sue out the Pardon of them in these words O God thou knowest my foolishness and my Sins are not hid from thee I beseech thee pardon my Iniquities and blot out my Transgressions though they be as a thick Cloud Good Lord wash me from my Impurities in that Fountain set open for Sin and for Vncleanness the precious Blood of Jesus Christ which is not only able to expiate my guilt but to cleanse me from all my filthiness that through his stripes I may be healed and cleansed from all my Original and Actual Defilements c. Having enlarged upon this she proceeds to pay for Sanctification and Inherent Righteousness that she may be a new Creature in Christ Jesus then most fully and earnestly against Temptation then for the Assistance of the Spirit to render all God's Ordinances and the means of Grace effectual then for growth in Grace for Comfort for an Heavenly frame of Heart and Life for assurance and manifestation of God's Love to her then for Wisdom to consider her latter End and to be helped in that Spiritual Arithmetick so to number her Days as to apply her Heart to true Wisdom then that God would fit and prepare her for her Dissolution that when her days shall be consummated on Earth her Corruptible may put on Incorruption and her Mortal put on Immortality Then she concludes with these Words Then shall Death my last Enemy be vanquished and swallowed up in Victory and from thy unworthy Creature Everlasting Praises shall be rendred unto thee through Jesus Christ that giveth me the Victory for thou hast redeemed my Soul from the Power of the Grave I beseech thee receive me into thy Eternal Kingdom and Glory that neither Death nor Life things present nor things to come may be able to separate me from thy Love O God which is in Christ Jesus my Lord. Then she proceeds to Pray for the Church of which a taste was given in her Monday-morning Prayers Sect. 7. pag. 45. Gracious Lord the Mercies I ask of thee for my own Soul I earnestly beg of thee for thy Church and People Blessed Lord Thou hast made the Earth by thy Power established the World by thy Wisdom and stretched out the Heavens by thy Discretion thy Arm is not shortned that thou canst not Save Good Lord take care of Zion build up the Walls of Jerusalem that in Zion there may be Deliverance and Holiness in thy House let the Mountain of thy House be established in the top of the Mountains be thou a Wall of Fire round about and her Glory in the midst thereof But I forgot my self 't is hard to stop my Pen. Then I beseech thee especially for the Land of my Nativity the Nation of which I am a sinfull Member here is a large Paragraph The next is for the World Give thy Gospel a free and glorious Passage through the World Good Lord pity those that sit in the region and shaddow of Death Then I beseech thee be mercifull to all the Sons and Daughters of Sorrow and Affliction the Disconsolate the Sick those who contend with Poverty Imprisonment Reproach Disgrace Then for them who suffer Persecution for the Truth Then for her Relations I confess I am almost ashamed that I have thus mangled so excellent a Prayer so Piously so Judiciously in such suitable Scripture Phrase and Language I think it had been better to have transcribed the whole or let it quite alone but her Friends may command a Copy of it if they please Having finished her Intercessions for others she returns to conclude with renewed Petitions for herself which I will venture to set down Good Lord be the God and Portion of me thy unworthy Creature and of those so dear unto me give me a Relation to thee an Affiance in thee and a Dependance upon thee that in all my concerns I may come to thee in whom are all my fresh Springs the riches of free Grace to poor Sinners and treasuries of Mercies purchased with the Precious Blood of Jesus Christ I beseech thee with-hold not thy tender Mercies from me but give me of that hidden Manna the sweet refreshing Incomes of thy Holy Spirit into my Soul and when my Heart is overwhelmed I beseech thee lead me to the Rock that is higher than I for thou hast been a shelter to me Lord be thou a strong Tower to me to which I may continually resort for whom have I in Heaven but thee And if I know any thing of my own Heart there is none comparative on Earth that I desire besides thee thou art my God besides thee there is no Saviour I beseech thee guide me with thy Counsel and when I shall go hence and be no more in this World I beseech thee receive me into thy Glory Then follows the Thanksgiving full as large as the Form of Prayer and if it may be more Spiritual raised and Divinely Savoury but I will not repeat the Errour to mangle it and set down so Imperfect Pieces and spoil its Beauty but signifie to her Friends that I shall freely allow them to read the Original which is fairly legible or if they think it worth the while to Copy it out or at more leisure to Print some few Copies of it and others of her usefull
Kingdom of Satan may fall and the Kingdom of Christ be exalted that the Gospel may continue where it is and sent where it is not and received in the Love of it through the World Pray for all afflicted as their case requires and with thy Prayers and Praises give thanks to God for the prime Fountain of all his Mercies Christ Jesus In particular thou mayst mention at the Throne of Grace what Christ hath done and suffered for humble contrite Sinners Labour and beg for such a frame of Spirit such God not despise Express thy thankfulness for what Christ hath instituted and ordained in his Church for the Benefit and good of his People Thou mayst in particular express with Prayers and Praises That all may be applicatory to thy self These are short hints thou mayst enlarge God giving thee his Spirit of Grace and Supplication Let not vain Thoughts mingle with religious Duties beware of those wandring Vagrants do not take such Company with thee when thou drawest near to God in any Religious performance lest it be like offering strange fire provoke God rather to consume than bless thee but keep off those busie Flies they may not corrupt thy Sacrifice Say to all disturbing Thoughts as Abraham said to his Servants when he went to the Mount to Sacrifice Stay you here below till I go to Worship God Fervent Prayer is very prevalent with God of it may be said what is said of Faith which is a justifying Grace without which it is impossible to please God Heb. 11. For he that cometh to God must believe that he is and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him Good works are the Life of Faith being well performed for matter and manner without which Faith is Dead and God is not the God of the dead but of the living as the body without the spirit is dead so without works faith is dead also St. James 2. The great things a lively Faith hath done fervent Prayer hath done the same The little Book I sent thee was thy dear Mother's it is a good Discourse of Prayer Dear Johnny let thy Prayers and Praises with the sweet Incense of thy Love to God be offered to him on the golden Altar of an humble and sincere Heart in the mediation of Jesus Christ and put no religious Duty off with that foolish idle Excuse I have not time lest thou as the foolish Virgins were be unfurnish'd of Oil for the Lamp of thy Christian Profession and for thy neglect shut out of the Kingdom of Heaven If Time for Play Recreation Eating Sleeping or the like a due proportion of Time may be gained from them for thy best therefore thy most concern those indispensable Duties on which thy eternal welfare so much depends the neglect of them may be thy inevitable Ruine in this Life and that to come for Godliness hath the promise of both Therefore seek the Kingdom of Heaven in the first place and the things of this present Life shall be added to thee as may be good for thee The things of this World compared to God and Heaven are but Straws and Pibbles St. Paul calls them dross and Luther said The whole Turkish Empire is but a Crust God throws to the Dog God hath provided better things for those that love and seek him In this world is our preparatory Life for our future Estate I have oft said to thee That all Men are about this great Business but in a different way to a different end Good Men prepare for Heaven and Wicked Men prepare for Hell therefore avoid the broad-way of a sinfull Life which leads to Destruction chuse that way which comparatively few find the way of an holy Life the end of which is Peace which the World cannot give Dear Johnny Do not deferr thy great concern to serve God and save thy Soul more worth than Ten thousand Worlds Many much younger than thee have set about this great work Thou hast oft read Mr. Smythies's Book of the Benefit of early Piety also thou hast had a civil and religious Education and many more Prayers than thou art Days old Thy dear Grandfather's Care Counsel and Prayers mine have not been wanting as far as able to perform in my care and love of thee let them not condemn thee but labour to answer the end of them that thou mayst not disappoint God and us to thy own detriment and loss Dear Johnny where much is given the more will be required Time is precious use all lawfull Industry and Diligence for thy well being in this World and make all subservient for a better to come Thou knowest not how long God may continue thy Friends to thee She was not continued three Months nay thy own Life is uncertain all things in this World are so and there is no retrieving an Errour on the other side of Death Do not procrastinate take the wise Man's Counsel what thy hand findeth to doe doe it with all thy might which inferrs speed and diligence for the obtaining internal and external Blessings Deferring made St. Augusting cry out Too late too late Lord did I love thee Dear Johnny Do not put God off with a decrepid Love and the chill Spirits of old age and bodily Infirmity by which the operative Faculties of thy Soul through the organical Powers of the Body may be obstructed with defect and impeded with the ill Habits and Customs of Sin Avoid this Danger give to God the vigour and strength of thy Life let it be without blemish By God's appointment the young was brought to him in Sacrifice Do thou as Righteous Abel give to God thy firstlings thy first Love and suffer no Rival or Competitour with it it was the Test Christ put to his Disciples If ye love me keep my Commandments Dear Johnny I used to mind thee St. John thy own name let him be thy Example in thy Love to God he was the youngest Disciple most eminent in Christ's Love He was called the Disciple whom Jesus loved Dear Johnny Be not taken with the Gauds and Vanities of this World in any of the profers of it they will bite like an Adder and sting like a Serpent if they draw thy Heart from God Be not deceived by them they will put a lye in thy right-hand promising more than they can give Be not affected with vain Glory it is but a Puff of breath soon exhaled and will vanish from thee Yea so are all the things of this World for the duration of them Remember thy Baptismal Covenant with God thou didst promise to forsake the Pomps and Vanities of this World the Devil and all his Works and sinfull Appetites to them I was a Witness to this Engagement and one of thy Sureties Dear Johnny let thy Baptismal Vow through Grace preserve thy Morals untainted Let none be corrupted by thy ill Example and be not thou infected by the evil manners of others Speak no obscene or scurrilous Language