Th' Effigies here on which you looke Contributes nothing to this Booke It 's but a shadow at the most No Body sure much less a Ghost The Booke peruse the faults passe by The rules observe most carefully Which if you doe then you may find Content in Marriage to your mind Conjugall Counsell OR Seasonable Advise both to Unmarried and Married PERSONS Directing the first how to enter into the Marriage Estate And the other how to demeane themselves in the Christian discharge of all such duties as that Estate of life binds them to that God may have Glory the Church Edification and themselves and Families present and future Comfort Tending much by the blessing of God to a through Reformation of all the Enormities of these evill Times By T. H. of Sandwich in Kent Two are better than one Eccles 4 9. Marriage is honourable in all and the bed undefiled but Whoremongers and Adulterers God will judge Heb 13.4 LONDON Printed for John Stafford and are to be sold at his House at the George at Fleet-Bridge 1653. Imprimatur JOHN DOVVNAM To his highly Esteemed and very Choicely beloved Children Samuel Mehetabel and Anne Hilder the yearning Bowels and Rowling Affections of your tender-hearted Father wisheth the happinesse of all saving-grace in this life and Eternall glory in the life to come through Jesus Christ our Lord. Right dearely beloved Children THe Great God of Heaven and Earth who is wisdome it selfe and all perfections did not thinke fit to bestow you on me as the fruit of my Youth and the Quintessence of my strength But in my Old Age and when I was a dry stick he made me Bud Bloome Blossomes and bring forth such pleasant Almonds as indeed you are Your bodies are very deare to me I desire your soules may be much more precious The preservation of your Naturall lives is my duty to take care after in a way of subordination to God But the seeking of the good of your soules as an Instrument under God in this life in the state of grace and as the way leading to glory and blisse hereafter is that which I am bound to regard in a more singular and speciall manner My deare hearts I desire Naturall Affection may not so far carry me forth towards you as spirituall and Ardent desires transport me with much enlargednesse of heart and spirit to seeke there all good both of your Bodies and Soules to all Eternity through free grace in Jesus Christ It is said Israel loved Joseph more than all his Children because he was the Son of his old Age and he made him a Coat of many colours Gen. 37.3 Now if because Joseph was the Son of his Fathers old Age was a good Argument to Israel to love him with such a large love Then for ought I know I am not to be blamed if I manifest my love to you in an extraordinary manner having the same reason for it as before exprest True it is I cannot cloath you with Garments of many colours I meane in a rich and costly manner yet I desire to blesse the Lord that not one of you hitherto have known want Ah my soule desires you may be like the Kings Daughter Psalm 15.13 Even all glorious within that your hearts may be beautified with saving grace and cloathed with the Righteousnesse of Jesus Christ My deare Children I cannot out looke upon you as poore fatherlesse babes for 〈◊〉 â—â—lesse the time of my departing is at hand so far as can be thought in all probabiliâ—â— for I have the sentence of death within me I finding Nature spending and wasting peace and divers symptomes of short life Therefore as Isaac desired to bless Esau before his death So I desire yet not as having a spirit of Prediction as Isaac had Gen 27.4 to blesse you before I dye viz. to communicate some Counsell to you from the Word of God that you in following the same may be both blessed here and for ever Now herein I shall proceed by the Lords assistance for the generall in a sententiall way desiring you to make them the matter of your Meditations that so they may be amplified and enlarged in your own thoughts My dearly beloved ones let me in the first place lay to you and to every one of you as David said to his Son Solomon 1 Chron. 28.9 My Children know you the God of your Fathers and serve him with perfect hearts and with willing minds This is your duty in generall But to come to some particulars yet in an abstractive way Take them as followeth that is labour to make God the object of your love and the chiefe of all your desires Psal 73.15 Ibid. 31.23 Marke 12 30. Seeke to have the feare of God continually in your hearts Psalm 86.11 Psal 34 9. but be carefull that it be filiall and Child-like not servile and slavish Remember your Creator in the daies of your youth Eccl. 12.1 Begin your spirituall Race betimes Psa 63.1 Prov. 8.17 And strive to hold out to the end 1 Cor. 9.24 Mark 13.13 Mind your own mortality Heb. 9.27 Ioh. 9.4 Psal 6.5 Put not off working in Gods Vineyard till the Eleventh houre Mat. 20.6 Your Sun may set at Noone as spoken in another case Amos 8.9 Improve all your Talents to the glory of God Mat. 25.20 Mind the account you must pass for you are but stewards Luk. 16.2 Forget not the day of Judgement Eccl. 11.9 Chap. 12. ult Mat. 12.38 Be very strict in the observation of the Sabbath Exod. 28.10 11. Isa 56.2 Chap. 58.13 Prize the meanes of grace Psal 119 70 97. Frequent the Assembly of the Saints Hebrewes 12.25 But mistake not the Sheepfold Cant. 1.28 Labour to live a life of faith against and above sense Gal. 2.10 Hab. 2.4 Chap. 3.17 18. Labour for an humble spirit Micah 6.8 James 4.6 Practice all knowne truths Joh. 13.17 Hold forth the power of godlinesse in your lives 1 Cor. 4.20 2 Tim. 3.5 Keep your hearts alwaies waking Cant. 5.2 for the Times are evill Eph. 5.16 Labour for found principles Tit. 1.13 And stability in them 1 Tim. 4.1 James 5.8 2 Pet. 1.12 Study to be quiet and to do your own businesse 1 Thes 4.12 Keepe within the limits of your Callings 1 Cor. 7.24 Labour to be approved to God 2 Cor. 10. ult Passe not for the judgement of men 1 Cor. 4.3 Yet beware of giving just offence to any Mat. 18.7 1 Cor. 10.32 Shun all occasions of sinning Prov. 5.8 Gal. 5.13 Abstaine from all appearance of evill 1 Thes 5.22 Do not think you can be too strickt in a holy life Eph. 5.15 But alwaies walke by a just Rule Gal. 6.16 Be upright in heart hate hypocrisie Ps 26.1 2. Ioh. 1.47 Follow not a multitude to do evill Exod. 23.2 Be not partakers of other mens sins keep your selves puâ—e 1 Tim. 5.22 Beware of diversity of opinions and divers Doctrines Heb. 13.9 1 Tim. 4.1 2. Rom. 16. Cha. 17.18 2 Tim. 4.3
Conversation She was frequent in secret prayer and let me tell you to your comfort she hath lodg'd in the bosome of God by the assistance of the Holy Spirit and in the Mediation of her deare Saviour many an ardent and most affectionate prayer for your poore soule while she was here in the flesh which I doubt not but the Lord will returne answer of through his free grace upon your head and heart upon your body and upon your soule She was full of the overflowings of love to her most unworthy yet much endeared Consort She was of a very peaceable and amiable life toward all persons She did live much in a little time And as she was of an exact life in comparison of most so through the infinite grace of God she ended her daies in the peace of a good conscience and did enjoy peace with God which passeth understanding Phil. 4.7 Psalm 37.37 God gave her the white stone and therein the new Name written which none knew but her selfe who received it Rev. 2.17 She was full of heavenly Raptures and Divine manifestations of the love of God to her soule on her death-bed She went not out by death like the snuffe of a stinking Candle leaving an ill savour behind but like Jumper or the choicest sweet Perfumes Dyed Abner as a foole 2 Sam. 3.33 No. Or dyed this precious Christian as a Daughter of Belial No. The thoughts thereof in the least measure is to be abhorr'd with a kind of infinite detestation it may be truly affirmed that she lived like a Saint and dyed like a Daughter of the most High God To her to live was Christ and her death was her gaine Phil. 1.21 And to her infinite gaine she hath found it for she doth now rest in the bosome of her sweet and precious Saviour and shall to all Eternity I dare not say many Daughters have done vertuously and that this glorious Saint hath excell'd them all Pro. 31.29 But this I will be bold to say that though many Daughters have done vertuously yet that not one of them did ever excell her I could do no lesse than present you my deare Son with the knowledge of these things both for your Imitation and Consolation And since Divine providence hath given me such an opportunity as this to attest before all the World the reall super-eminency of such a Saint so nearely related to you my Son much more to me I darst not omit it certainely if the Righteous should be had in everlasting remembrance Psa 12.6 it must be then as much my duty to endeavour it as the duty of any Nay more my duty in reference to this glorified soul than the duty of any other in the world My very deare and choicely beloved Children I have been somewhat longer in this Epistle Dedicatory than I intended at the first but the strength of my Affections to your souls hath carried me forth in this way Truly the good of those precious soules of yours I desire to seek as the good of my own I know to my griefe and sorrow that there hath been a world of evill infused into your whole man by and from me O that God would honour me in making me an instrument under his blessed selfe of plucking you out of the mire of your corruptions Iude ver 23. And God doth know that in all these lines I have had an aime and very ardent desires and sincere endeavours to contribute something this way But to draw toward a close let me say in some sense as Solomon Prov. 22.20 I have written to you excellent things in Counsell and Knowledge yet not as they flow from me for out of me who am but an empty and darke creature can no such things come but as God hath enabled me through his grace to gather them together as so many precious flowers springing in the Garden of his own word Deare hearts it is said of Abel that whilst he is dead he yet speaketh Heb. 11.4 Ah let me tell you that by these lines of mine I shall speake to you when I shall have no eares to heare you nor eyes to see you Now I beseech you for the Lords sake and for your precious soules sake that you would seriously mind what I have presented to you and be carefull to practice the same and whatsoever else the Lord shall be pleased to provide for your instruction to further you in a holy life for else let me plainly tell you that these eyes of mine shall see you and these eares of mine shall hear you arraigned sentenced and condemned at the Bar of Gods Tribunall Seat to everlasting perdition from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his power 2 Thes 1.9 And then I shall want an heart to mourn over you And yet if not only my selfe but men and Angels should melt away by teares of sorrow unto nothing in sympathizing and condoling your most exceeding sad and dolorous conditions it could not contribute to ease you of so much as one sigh sob groane or cry unto Eternity Ah my poore soule shall it ever be said that I have begotten Children to be made Companions for Devils Ah Deare God I beseech thee for the Lord Jesus Christs sake forbid it But I blesse God I hope better things of you my sweet Children and such as concerne salvation though I thus speake Heb. 6.9 Or else I should go mourning and powring forth flouds of salt teares unto my gâ—oanes and never in this world see one happy day more But if the Lord shall be graciously pleased to adde a span of time to my daies here I trust he will give me a tender heart towards you and that through his abundant grace I shall labour to improve time gifts and opportunities to seek by all meanes and in speciall by humble addresses and earnest prayers to the God of all grace to give you all all-saving grace your reall Tranquillity and true felicity here and so grant me to see reall and royall demonstrations of his free grace upon and in your soules discovering on your hearts and in your lives the spots of his Children Deut. 32.5 And your Eternall happinesse and blisse in the life to come in through and for the only merits of Jesus Christ your blessed and for ever blessed Saviour Now unto him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you faultlesse before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy To the only wise God our Saviour be Glory and Majesty Dominion and Power now and ever Iude 24 25. verses Thus my deare sweet and precious Children I take my leave of you in this kind and Subscribe my selfe what I am and desire to remaine by the grace of God to the end of my life viz. Your deare tender-hearted and most Affectionate Father to love and serve you THOMAS HILDER To the much Honoured and Eminently Vertuous Lady the Lady Anne Sackvill some years since Wife and Religious
12. the latter end of the 17. verse may be applicable here Provide things honest in the sight of all men He that doth not provide for his own especially such as are of his own Family hath denied the faith and is worse than an Infidell 1 Tim. 5.8 Jacob tooke care for his own Family Gen. 30.30 But some may say that was after not only his Marriages but after he had many Children Therefore when his condition becomes mine I will take the like care but it may be I shall never have any Chargeable Family But for answer know that if thy condition did run parallell with his before and at the time of Marriage thou needst take no great care before-hand for first his Father was exceeding rich and had but two Children and no doubt but that Jacob had a large portion in due time of his Fathers estate though the Holy Ghost mention no such thing but secondly Jacob married with a very wealthy Family and his Father in Law had reason to maintaine him and his Charge and that liberally when Iacob was no way spating in his great pains and care to encrease Labans estate which indeed Laban himselfe doth acknowledge Gen. 39.27 When the Servant of Abraham was to go to Padan Aram to treat about a Marriage for Isaack his Masters Son it is very observable That in the first place he makes a Narrative to Bethuel and Laban of his Masters plentifull estate and then comes to the businesse of the desired Marriage he having implicitely made it appeare that his young Master was well provided for to maintain a Wife and any Charge God should cast on him Gen. 24.35 Doubtlesse there is much to be minded in the Lords owne method this way We know God did plentifully provide for Adam and Eve before they were and then surely before their Marriage But these things premised occasions a question to be propounded and that is Whether a man may not Marry untill he have Lands or stock in Money or in Goods and Chattels I answer that in case a man have neither of them yet if God have given him an honest Calling and a Heart to depend upon Divine providence in the use of lawfull meanes and in speciall find himselfe through free grace to have an interest in the promises of God for all good things He may conclude his call to Marriage is as cleare as the call of any person in the world upon his yearly revenue and stock in any kind for such a man shall have for necessity if not for delight except the Lord see a straight and wanting condition best in relation to his own glory and such a poore mans present good and eternall happinesse God hath promised the hand of the diligent shall make rich Pro. 10.4 and that he that laboureth shall be filled with bread Pro. 12.11 God will give his Beloved plenty with quiet sleep Psal 127.2 God telleth Abraham he was a God all-sufficient only bids him walk before him and be upright Gen. 17.1 First seeke the kingdome of God and the righteousness thereof saith Christ and all other things shall be administred to you Mat. 6.33 read that place in Heb. 13.5 to all which Promises there might be a large addition if necessary only let me here adde that of Solomon Prov. 10.22 The blessing of the Lord maketh rich and he addeth no sorrow with it where note that these outward things are called blessings and indeed so they are which doth imply that we must beg them at the hand of God by Prayer and indeed God tels us as much Ezek. 36.37 and if you mind that Chapter you shall find that temporall things and of those we treate as well as spirituall are there promised but if you would speed when you aske these blessings take heed you regard not wickednesse in your hearts for if you do God will not heare you Secondly take heed you turne not your eares from hearing the Law of God for if you do your Prayers shall be abominable Pro. 27.9 Thirdly beware thou aske not these blessings to consume them on thy lusts for if you do you are like to misse of them James 4.2 3. Fourthly be sure thou aske no outward thing of God but with a willingnesse to be denied if he thinke it best It s an easie thing for such poore Ignorant Creatures as we are to be much mistaken about the nature of outward blessings and the fittest seasons for God to bestow and we to receive them But the Lord cannot be mistaken Most excellent to this purpose is the saying of Luther upon Psal 1â—0 1 God saith he in that he is good can give nothing but thaâ— which is good but we many times do crave that thing which is not good indeed but seemeth so to us Thus Luther Also Bernard is singular this way Brethren saith he as concerning your Prayers have no doubt but assure your selves that as soone as the word passeth out of your Mouth it is Written and Registred in Heaven in the presence and sight of God and either it shall be done as ye have asked or else it is expedient not to be done Thus far Bernard likewise Take heed be not inordinate but easily denied of God aske no outward things but on condition God see it expedient to bestow them for if thou wilt not be denied thou maiest have the seeming sweet meat but the reall sowre â—ace Rachel had when she must have Children or dye Gen. 30.1 but mind the issue of it Gen. 35.16 17 18 19. And so the Children of Israel must have flesh Num. 11.4 5 6. They cannot be satisfied without it but they had it as one well said with a vengeance as appeares in the 31 32 and 33. verses of this Chapter Lastly labour to promote the worship of God to thy power for else thy estate may be deplorable enough Hag. 1.6 But if it should be the good pleasure of the Lord to exercise thee with seeming want yet if he be also pleased to sanctifie such a condition to thee thou hast that which is more then equivalent to all outward mercies in the world Beloved if thou canst live upon God and enjoy a holy contentation in thy soule in the want of outward things thou art one of the richest men on this side Heaven labour then I say to have an interest in God in and through Christ Thus I hope I have put no discouragements on thee to stave thee off from taking the benefit and comfort of Marriage for want of Lands or stock in any kind but I rather desire thee to take it especially if thou canst not with comfort to thy body and safety to thy soul containe thy selfe longer in the single life which brings me to the next particular which is the second demonstration of a lawfull call to Marriage A second and cleare ground for Marriage A second and cleare ground demonstrating a mans call to enter into the Marriage life is when the Lord is
pleased to deny him the gift of chastity and continency for the gift of chastity is given of God to whom he please and when he please and denied as he thinks fit for when it is wanting a man is disabled to keep his soule and body for to be the Temple of the Holy Ghost and for his residence 1 Cor. 6.19 being carried away with noysome lusts by beastly and impure affections Now when thou art in this condition it is thy sin if thou neglect any good opportunity to help thy selfe by entring into the state of Marriage for it is one kind of grieving the spirit when he would make choise of thy body to live in and thou dost baracado up thy heart against him by nourishing uncleannesse in thee whereby thou dost invite the Devill to possesse thee and dost set open the doores of thy heart to receive him to rule in thee as in his own Vassall to Gods dishonour and thy own ruine it is time I say for thee then to looke about thee and to use that remedy which God hath sanctified and appointed for thy spirituall and corporall benefit To avoid Fornication let saith the Apostle every man have his own wife c. 1 Cor. 7.2 it is better to marry than to burne by carnall Lusts and fleshly concupiscence This may suffice to informe thee of thy call to Marriage first by thy fitnesse for that Estate secondly thy unfitnesse for the single life It will in the next place be necessary to consider what ends thou must aime at in desiring the marriage Estate and they are three in speciall First the glory of God in the propagating of his Church Secondly The mortifying not satisfying thy own corruptions Thirdly The mutuall comfort which that Estate doth afford both to man and wife The first and principall end every man is to aime at in his desiring Marriage The first end of Marriage is I say Gods glory in the propagating of his Church That there may be a certaine number of men and women to glorifie God by their holy lives unto the end of the world which without Marriage cannot be expected There may be I confesse an uncleane Generation of Men and Women to the end of Time without Marriage but the Lord would have a godly seed preserved Mal. 2.15 Even such a seed as may glorifie God in this life and be everlastingly glorified in the world to come If then the propagating of Gods Church ought to be the chiefest thing we are to aime at in our desiring the Estate of Marriage which neither Men nor Angels can deny Then by the way it may be a word of just reproofe to many Men and Women that are afraid of Marriage lest they should have Children as also of divers who are married that use all meanes possible to prevent great encrease of Children But let these both married and unmarried know that they have a diabolicall spirit they would counter-worke God if possible and frustrate his holy aimes by their impure principles this their carriage so far as they approve of it doth evidently declare they are wholly self-seekers but let them seeke for grounds of comfort where they can I know not where nor from whence they can expect it And as for you who are married and use meanes to frustrate the Lords own principall end in instituting of Marriage I beseech you seriously to mind the sin and punishment of a bird of your own feather viz Onan Gen. 38.9 10. Now what if the Lord never since punished the same sin in the same kind dare you conclude that God hates not such a sin now as he then did I dare more safely conclude that God hates your groundlesse presumption and were your eyes but open you might feare the Lord hath punished you long ago with a heavy punishment even with hardnesse of heart and wilfull Impenitency which is far worse than all temporall punishment in the world and doubtlesse none can conclude infallibly that Onans punishment was more than temporall But some may perhaps say We are not against having of Children we much desire to see the fruit of our own Bodies But we are afraid indeed of having many lest we should not be able to put bread into their mouths Truly let me tell thee that if thy Children were created by thee and so none of Gods Creatures take this as spoken only by way of supposition there would no bread be found on Earth nor Manna from Heaven neither Terrestriall nor Celestial means to preserve them from perishing and that immediately both in their soules and bodies for God would take no care for them and thou couldst take none But poore soule I know that thy Children being as much Gods Creatures as thy selfe or as the Angels in Heaven thou must labour even in relation to thy Children to have faith in God as well in this case as Christ exhorted his Disciples in another Mark 11.22 God giveth the beast his food and to the young Ravens when they cry Psal 147.9 Naturalists do observe that when the old Raven hath hatch'd her Eggs and that the Young come forth they being for ten daies covered with a kind of white downy feathers the old one ownes them not takes no paines to feed them till this white down be off and the black feathers put forth and they say that during those ten daies that the old one neglects them the Lord feeds them with the influence of the Aire but let that passe we know God feeds not only the young Ravens but the old too consider further that God feeds the Fowles of the Aire that is all the Fowles Mat. 6.26 Read the place and mark the Inference by way of Interrogation and Interrogations we say imply sometimes the strongest Negations and sometimes the clearest Affirmations the last is here implied God cloaths the Lillies of the field Mat. 6.28 29 30. pray mind the Inference there too We sometimes use a choice Proverbe God never makes mouths but he provides meat Oh that we could well improve this Proverb to a more full relying on God than we ever attain'd to to this day Beloved let me tell you you cannot distractingly care for your selves or for your Children but you question either the Attributes of God or your Interest in him Do you doubt whether God be Omnipotent and so able to do you and yours good Or his willingnesse or faithfulnesse to performe his promises Truly if you do you infinitely derogate from God and much provoke him Mind the sin of the Israelites can God prepare a Table in the Wildernesse Psal 78.19 20 21. Mind also the sad effects of this God-provoking sin Truly I shall tell thee and I beseech thee to consider what I say Thou canst as well keep one hundred Children as one I know this is a Paradox But thou must know thou canst not keepe one to speake properly no not thy self for thou and thine yea and all the Creatures in the world
4 For these various waies are but meere figments and fruits of Addle braines though varnished with some splendent gilt of holiness and denominated New Lights and Divine Revelations I say beware of these for they are but the Devill peeping with a white Vizard to cover his all-silthy and deformed face stand upon your watch-Tower look out sharply lest you be led away by the error of the Wicked 2 Pet. 2.17 My deare Children labour to arme your selves against the croking Frogs of these last and worst times you are borne in an houre of Temptation you had great need to labour to trie the spirits 1 Ioh. 4.1 which that you may do you must follow the Counsell of Christ that is you must daily search the Scriptures Iohn 5.39 Imitate also the example of the Bereans who would not believe Paul and Sylas untill by searching the Scriptures they found the truth of what they delivered Acts 17 11. And the Holy Ghost commends and honours them for the same and this duty God did command his people of Old Isa 8.20 Leane not on your own understanding Pro. 3 5. Be not high minded but feare Rom. 11.20 Let him saith the Apostle that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall 1 Cor. 10.12 For there is a way that seemeth right but the end thereof are the waies of death Prov. 16.25 Beware of other mens sins and punishments Iudg. 4.7 Still walke with God as Enoch did Gen. 5.24 Graspe fast hold on Christ as the Church did and leane upon him Cant. 8.5 You are safe if Christ put forth his hand to you in your times of danger as he did to Peter Mat. 14.31 Endeavour to keepe a good conscience in your whole life Acts 23.1 which will be to you a continuall feast Pro. 15.15 so the Geneva Translation renders it Therefore hearken unto the Checks and Admonitions of it Sympathize with the Church and every particular Member therein in the times of Affliction Neh. 1.1 2 3 4. Amos 6.6 Rom. 12.15 Spend much time in the perusall of Orthodoxe Writers both Ancient and Moderne for next unto the Scriptures in both the Old And New Testament you shall find the most glorious beames and araies of light and truth shining from them to enlighten you in the way of truth and to heat and quicken your Affections to walke in the way that is called Holy I even beseech you to labour to gaine and to maintaine in your dâ—aâ—e hearts an invaluable and incomparable esteem of these Authors here mentioned and 〈◊〉 as they who are indeed all Reverend and sound Divines viz. Mr Perkins Bishop Hall Bishop Usher and in particular his body of Divinity Dr Preston Dr Sibbs Mr Nicholas Eyfield Mr Robert Bouâ—ton Mr Ieremy and Mr Daniel Dike Mr Symonds on the case and cure of a deserted soule Mr Smith on the Great Assize and Ursinus on the Sum of Christian Religion c. But on the contrary take notice it is your duty both to God and your own soules to labour to abhor with a kind of infinite detestation all hereticall and schismaticall yea all fanaticall and whimsicall Pamphlets Treatises and their Authors how specious soever Frontispieces and deluding Titles be for all such are but the Devils Factors Agents and Engins to seduce and poyson the judgements of poore ignorant soules that they may run with a full careere to the pit of hell to the high dishonour of God and their own inevitable destruction both of body and soule unlesse infinite mercy prevent these Vermine aâ—e like the Locusts Rev. 9.7.8 if not the same who have Crowns like Gold not Gold though they glister faces like men and haire like women but teeth like Lions These are Clouds without water c. and wandring stars c. Jude 12 13. These are they whose words fâ—et like a Canker 2 Tim. 2.16 17. These trouble Coasts you may know them by their fruit they still oppugne the faithfull Ministers of Jesus Christ and spit out of their black mouths many opprobrious false and diabolicall calumniations against them but their tongues and pens can be no slanders to them nor cast them out of the hearts of the reall godly party that thereby they may heave them out of the Ministry and make roome for their uncall'd and ungifted fraternity to possess their places if they can bring their cursed designes to passe and by this hellish meanes hinder the propagation of the Gospell and Gospell Ordinances and so foyst in their owne hell-bred inventions These my deare Children are such nonsensicall Ignoramus's and so full of blockish stupidity that they are many degrees worse than those Babel builders Gen. 11. from ver 1. to the end of ver 8. For they did desist from their worke of confusion when God had confounded their Language But these Impostors though the Lord have divided their tongues and so hath answered the Prophet Davids Imprecation Psa 55.9 that they speak not the same things yea and their hearts too that they walke in contradictory waies one from the other and all from the Rule of truth yet most pertinaciously with browes of brasse they proceed to bring paultry trash and filthy Rubbish to patch up their tottering structure founded on the sand to be a habitation for dolefull Creatures c. Isa 13.21 And for such as the Holy Ghost mentions in Rev. 18.2 But downe must their Chaos go Mat. 7.26 27. And all their vile plants must be pluck'd up Mat. 15.13 But to conclude this particular these Sons of Belial are false Meteors and can metamorphose a reall Saint into a Devill and a Devill incarnate into a Saint These persons are good Arithmeticians for they are well vers'd in the rules of Addition and Substraction nay and in the black art of Detraction too and whether they are acute both in the Theory and Practique part of Division or not let all moralized men much more reall Christians judge These persons can and do put darknesse for light and light for darknesse c. In one word their aime is to extinguish the power of godlinesse and to procure liberty for all licentiousnesse which God prevent But to proceed onward Set not your Affections on things beneath but on things above Col. 3.2 For the love of the world and worldly things is an enemy both to God and your own soules Iames 4.4 1 Tim. 6.9 10. But cast your selves in the use of lawfull meanes upon God for all outward things for he careth for you 1 Pet. 5.7 And be content to be at his allowance and with your present condition Phil. 4.12 1 Tim. 6.8 Heb. 13.5 In all your Afflictions exercise much patience Pro. 24.10 Iames 5.10 Heb. 12.1.2 Yet be much in Prayer for deliverance Psal 50.15 Also mind for this purpose the Title immediately before Psa 102. As touching your duties to your Parents I omit the hinting at them here but refer you to that part of the ensuing Treatise where there is something spoken more at
large of them Deale uprightly and justly with all men as in the presence of God 1 Thes 4.6 And as you would have others deale with you so deale with all men Mat. 7.12 You must prefer the good and safety of Church and State before your owne this may be deduced from the Message Mordecai sent to Queen Hester when she was fearfull to put forth her selfe for the safety of the Jewes in their extreame exigency Hest 4. the latter part of vâ—r 14. Rom. 12.11 Not sloathfull to do service for so the Geneva hath it Now my deare Children I beseech you in the Name of God and I hope your heavenly Father to labour to maintaine the life and heate of love unity Amity sweet Accord and Concord betweene your selves Consider for this purpose that it is a speciall duty God requires of you all to be performed each to other 1 Pet. 3.8 And the Lord hates and abominates such as low discord between Brethren Pro. 6. ver 16. compared with ver 19. Gen. 45.24 And well worth your observation for your encouragement to performe this duty here urged is that which the Spirit of God laies downe Psal 133.1 Behold saith the Psalmist how good and how pleasant it is for Brethren to dwell together in unity which in the remaining verses is amplified by two choice similitudes and with a comfortable conclusion Nature hath Characterized this so strongly upon the hearts of Men that some have taken revenge upon such as have done wrong to Brethren or Sisters Simeon and Levi slew all the Inhabitants of a whole City for the wrong that Shechem the son of Hamor had done to their Sister Dinah Gen. 34.25 26 27 31. Gideon put Zebah and Zalmunna to death for their slaying his Brethren Judg. 8.19 21. Abner slew Asahel the Brother of Joab 2 Sam. 2.23 but Joab slayes Abner for it 2 Sam. 3.27 Amnon deflowrs Tamar the sister of Absalom 2 Sam. 13.14 but Absalom did cause him to lose his life for it ver 28 29. Now these things my deare Children I mention not to put you upon such courses for they were Acts of murther in those that did them and that in a high degree and you have not nor cannot have any warrant to do such vile things all you can do in such cases is to go to God by prayer and to the Civill Magistrate by complaint for the security of each one of you But I make use of these Instances to convince you that if you love not one another you sin even against Nature how much more then against God And truly you sin also against your selves for by unbrotherly breaches you weaken your owne strength The uniting of Brethren and Sisters together by love fortifies them against the danger of oppositions The earth will with more ease swallow up one single drop of water than many drops and buckets-full met together in one A threefold Cord is not quickly broken Eccl. 4.12 Most excellent to this purpose is the story of the old dying man who having many Children and desiring they might be all united together in love he was ambitious to leave somthing upon their hearts and spirits as an Impression not easily to be forgotten but that might remaine for the end beforesaid Who having them all present before him cals for a sheafe of Arrowes which when brought he gives to divers of his Children a single Arrow and bids them break them which with great case they did But then he takes all the rest of them and with a cord he binds them in one bundle and then bids them breake them if they could which they aslaying to do could not so much as bend them Then he applies himselfe to them by way of counsell and tels them that if they were divided one from another in affection they would expose themselves to ruine But if they were all firmely conjoyn'd together as one they might be able to preserve themselves and one another Ah my deare hearts it is the desire and prayer of your poore Father for you unto the Blessed and for ever blessed Trinity who are three in Persons and but one in Essence that you all might have but one heart and one soule in relation one to another that thereby God might be glorified others edified and your selves for ever comforted by your mutuall love and sweet deportment one to another Thus my much endeared Children I have laboured to give you an Epitome of particular duties you owe unto God to his Church and to your own soules and bodies Now to all the advice I have given you in particular I shall in the Apostles owne words adde this in generall only changing the Appellation Finally my Children whatsoever things are true whatsoever things are honest whatsoever things are just whatsoever things are pure whatsoever things are lovely whatsoever things are of good report If there be any vertue and if there be any praise thinke on these things And the God of peace shall be with you Phil. 4.8 and the latter end of ver 9. Now my deare Children because I am convinced that it is the duty of a Father to seeke the compleat happinesse of his Children both Internall and Externall and though chiefly the good of their soules in relation to a better life Yet in a second place the good also of their bodies and their outward comfortable enjoyments in this Terrestiall World I cannot therefore omit in order to your well-being here to communicate unto you some advise in reference to the change of your conditions by Marriage if the Lord be pleased to bring you to such a time for seasonablenesse and to give you opportunities to embrace the same Let me tell you that for you to enjoy meet helpers in that estate you may reckon to be one of the greatest out ward favours that God doth bestow on his Children to sweeten their condition otherwise mixt with divers Afflictions in this life But in the discharge of this last duty I shall be very concise because you may meet with variety of directions this way in the ensuing lines and body of the discourse all which I beseech you to mind in your reading of them and much more in your practice in walking up to them but I shall here take the liberty to adde in generall this one thing viz. That it is a Rule Case and Maxime in Divinity that whatsoever Action any one is call'd to performe which is of high concernment especially to Gods glory and relates to the good of man and but once in probability to be done in his whole life and which being done is unalterable and remaines like the Laws of the Medes and Persians Dan. 5.8.12 There is required more than ordinary caution and circumspection in the undertaking and managing of the same Now the entring into the Marriage Estate is an Action of the same nature before exprest nay to speake properly it is that Action and none but it that fully answers the description
selfe Yet God can make this foresaid Babe a fruitfull Mother of many Children in this our Israel who may both blesse the Lord for it and for your selfe worthy Madam for accepting and to your power Patronizing the same Now our Lord Jesus Christ himselfe and God even our Father which hath loved us and hath given us everlasting Consolation and good hope through Grace comfort your heart and establish you in every good word and worke Thus prayeth he who is Madam Your Ladiships humble most affectionate and much more obliged servant till death THOMAS HILDER TO THE Impartiall and Judicious READER Christian Friend OF all the Creatures which Almighty God hath Created in this nethermost World he hath been pleased in the riches of his mercy to deale most liberally with man for God hath not only given him a being as he hath to all other Creatures but also hath provided all things to sweeten and make his being here very comfortable And amongst variety of choice enjoyments he hath Created for Man a meet helper which is the most precious piece of all others And indeed the Quintiscence Creame and Crowne of all Temporall felicity Which blessing God hath united to Man and made one with him by Matrimoniall Conjunction And hath appointed and sanctified meanes for his entring into and enjoying of this happy and also honourable Estate But by reason of that blindnesse and ignorance that is in man since the Fall and by reason of the corruption and pravity of his nature he doth by indirect waies and meanes seeke the enjoyment of this happinesse yet fals not only short of it but implungeth himselfe into a dead sea and Gulph of all Crosses Discomforts troubles vexations Turbulent cares distractions and griefes of all kinds And passeth through this his Pilgrimage with plenty of teares sighs sobs and extreame dolorous complaints With wearings wastings and pinings away finding life it self a burden untill he come to be dissolved into the dust of death Now deare Christian the meanes before hinted at to enjoy the happiness first mentioned and to avoid the miseries last exprest these poore weake and perhaps contemptible Lines ensuing will point out though with a palsie hand But thou must not despise the day of small things Zach. 4.10 The lesse of the Creature the more of God Gods strength is made perfect in our weaknesse 2 Cor. 12.9 The excellency of power is still in God and not in us 2 Cor. 4.7 This Treatise was at first intended next the glory of God wholly for the generall good But now in my promulgating of it I do in a speciall manner reflect upon my Children they being in their non-age But they must not nor can they monopolize it to themselves but it will present it self to thy view and tender some service to thee if thou please to accept of it Courteous Reader I can easily believe there will be divers circumstantiall if not some substantiall Errata's in it and some persons of dainty palats will seek to multiplie them be they more or lesse I know where the pricking thorne puts out but it must not be pull'd in for it will disturbe none but the gauled conscience Truly I can averre and God doth know it true that during almost all the time I was writing this out from a former Copy I could neither stand sit or lye but in very great paine which caused much distraction of mind But gentle Reader my Request to thee is that what thou findest good in these lines following blesse the Lord for Secondly live up to the life of it in thy practice But what resembles thy worthlesse Author and speakes him indigent not only in the Concrete but almost in the Abstract and yet no Hyperbole that I beseech thee to make as candid a construction of as thou canst and so to cast the mantle of thy love upon it and censure not but pitty and pray for him who desires to pray for thee and should rejoice to blesse God for any benefit that may accrew unto thee by these ensuing Lines Farewell Thine in the Lord Jesus THOMAS HILDER IF thou desire good daies to see Here in this life of Ceare Then seeke a Wife that doth with thee The Lord desire to feare For she 'l endeavour all her daies That here she doth remaine To quicken thee in holy waies That Heaven thou maiest attaine And she will still ambitious be That thou maiest comfort find And in this life good daies maiest see According to thy mind But such a Wife as will regard Thy good still as she ought For to be found is very hard And seldome is she sought Wouldst thou this Jewell then obtaine Worth more than worldly Treasure And it enjoy as thy great gaine And therein take much pleasure Then unto God pray thou alone Who good Wives doth bestow Desiring him to give thee one That doth him truly know For therein comfort thou maiest have In midst of many losses As thou goest marching to thy grave Loaded with outward Crosses And if the Lord this gift thee give Then highly prize the same So long as thou one day dost live And ever praise his Name Conjugall Counsell OR Seasonable advice both to unmarried and married persons directing the first how to enter into the Marriage estate and the other how to demeane themselves in the Christian discharge of all such duties as that estate of life binds them to That God may have glory the Church edification and themselves and Families present and future comfort WHen the Omnipotent Immense All-powerfull and All-glorious Jehovah had made and perfected that super eminent structure of the Celestiall and Terrestriall world and all Creatures in generall contained in them Man only excepted the Lord did then consult with himselfe as we may say about making Man in his own Image and likenesse Gen. 1.26 which he accordingly did and therein stood the compleate felicity of man in a speciall and peculiar manner But in a second place man was made glorious though in a way of much subordination to his foresaid felicity in that God made him to be a Microcosmus viz. a little world or a lively Embleme of what was before created his body being Terrestriall and his soule the better part Celestiall Oh happy man had he continued in his Originall perfection Wherein we may observe the singular benevolence and beneficence of God to man But though these were transcendent degrees of mans happinesse yet this was not all for God provides a place for mans residence on Earth which was the most pleasant and fertile of the whole Creation here below and therefore might well be called Paradise whereinto God put the man not only to dresse the Garden but to enjoy all the fruit thereof only the Tree of the knowledge of good and evill excepted Gen. 2.15 16.17 But to consummate and compleate mans outward full and sweet enjoyments the Lord God resolves to make man a meet help because he saw it not good for
he then shall deny this Cohabitation there is a headlesse body behind and what is that short in some sense of a Monster It had been infinitely better as we may say that they had never been man and wife than being such not to live together This truth being so generally acknowledged and rarely if at all denied we shall use much brevity in handling of it but by the way notoriously abominable are such persons as falter in the performance of this duty Whether it be Husband or Wife The third duty of the Husband to the Wife In the third place the Husbands duty to his Wife is to labour to edifie and build her up more and more in the saving knowledge of God and in the waies of his Grace and to seeke especially the happinesse of her soule to help her forward to glorifie God here that she may be everlastingly glorified in Heaven hereafter hence it is that the Apostle in the place quoted before in 1 Pet. 3.7 requires the Husband to dwell with his wife as a man of knowledge If the Wife will learne saith Paul let her aske her Husband at home 1 Cor. 14.35 which implies two things First that the Husband ought himselfe to labour for Illumination and abundance of the knowledge of God Then secondly that it is his duty to informe and to instruct his wife As the head of a Naturall body carries the Eyes so it sees not only for it selfe but for all the members of the body so it should be in this case The Husband is the Candlestick and Divine knowledge in him is the Light Now our Saviour saith Luk. 8.16 No man lighteth a Candle and covereth it with a vessell or putteth it under a bed but setteth it on a Candlestick that they that come in may see the light The knowledge that is in the Husband should be communicative to all in the Family in generall and to his Wife in particular Now the Husband must labour to edifie and build up his Wife and to further her in the way of holinesse by his performance of these particular duties viz. By Dehortations Exhortations Reprehensions and as occasion is by labouring to give her Consolations So also by praying for her and with her by reading the Word of God to her and by holy Conference as frequently as may be For by praying for her he may find the Lord graciously intreated to confer and bestow Grace into her heart and to give her a daily encrease thereof Secondly By praying with her he may be a meanes to put life and quickning into her spirit in all duties Thirdly By reading the Word of God to her he may instruct her Fourthly By using holy Conference with her he may stir up in her ardent desires and Heavenly Affections in minding things of a more sublime Nature than any thing in this transitory life And if she be ignorant of the waies of God and the duties she doth owe unto God and man it must be the care of her Husband to informe her to teach and instruct her in those things But if she know them then he must labour to rub them afresh upon her Memory as the Apostle Peter did on them to whom he wrote 2 Pet. 1.12 that she may set her selfe the more seriously to the practice of them Beloved a man is no way able to shew his love more unto his Wife than by labouring that she may be everlastingly happy as well as himselfe And happy is that woman who doth enjoy such a Husband as is very tender of her soules health and who doth labour to further her in the discharging of all her duties in her generall and particular Calling even in doing the Will of God and insuffering his pleasure We might have been larger in this particular and doubtlesse should but that in the next head we shall have occasion to mention some of the forementioned directions againe as very proper to the next duty of the Husband to the Wife and so desist here The fourth duty of the Husband to his Wife In the fourth place the duty of the Husband to the Wife is to labour to reclaime her from any sin and sinfull course she doth live in for sin is of a deceitfull nature and will deceive the soules of the choicest Christians in the world if not rooted out betimes before the heart be hardened therein And therefore the Holy Ghost bids us exhort one another to day to prevent the same Heb. 3.13 Therefore if a man see his wife nourish any sin in her heart or life he had need to bestir himselfe to make opposition against it * Note for mind it well if sin be not mortified early we may feare that in time it will mortifie Grace They cannot be both fruitfull in one poore heart and if Grace die an exceeding sad Funerall will follow But if it be demanded what be the meanes the Husband must use to reclaime his Wife from any sin I answer First Earnest Prayer and Supplication to God in her behalfe this way When the Church had gone astray from God and had run themselves into many miseries the Prophet Jeremy seekes unto God in their behalfe thus Turne thou unto us O Lord and we shall be turned renew our daies as of old Lam. 5.21 Gen. 25.21 As God heard Isaac praying for his Wife for a fruitfull wombe that she might conceive and beare so how knowest thou but that thou maiest by Prayer prevaile with God in thy Wives behalfe that she may conceive the seed of saving Grace in her heart and bring forth the fruit of it in her life even the Mortification of that sin or sins that are most predominant in her and with much comfort maiest thou expect such a blessing on thy Prayers if they be fervent Iam. 5.16 God hath the hearts of all men and women in his hands and can turne them at his own pleasure he can make a proud heart humble a hard heart soft an Earthly heart Heavenly a crooked heart straight he can help the perversenesse of the Will and the disorder of the Affections God hath a Plaister for every sore and a proper remedy for every disease God can help the blindnesse of the Mind the Errour of the Judgement the irregularity of the whole man Then I say go unto God in the first place and importune him for mercy for and for cure of thy Wives soule-sicknesse and distempers In the second place thou must kindly and with all possible sweetnesse admonish her of the danger of sin and of the fearefull fruits and sad effects of it as that thereby she dishonoureth a good God she woundeth her owne Conscience she bringeth discredit to the Gospell she provokes the Lords indignation and wrath against her to her confusion if she persevere in sin labour to perswade her that sin hath a long taile of judgements at the heeles of it Externall Internall and Eternall Inchoated on Earth Consummated in Hell
to his VVife Now this he should do the more carefully that is walke in a good conversation before his wife because most men and women in the world are apt to be led by example good or bad more than by precept The examples of Superiours are of â—n attractive nature to Inferiours especially if the Inferiour do love and reverence the Superiour as the wife doth if her heart be married â—o her Husbands there is an intrinsecall principle in her to carry out her desires and endeavours to tread in his steps she will endeavour â—o imitate her Husband in his words and actiâ—ns The VVives of Jacob were brought up in â—dolatry but they hauing better examples set â—hem by their Husbands of worshipping the â—ue God they will be of his Religion Their â—ather worshipped false Gods Gen. 31.19 30. But they will pray to the true God it is said God hearkened unto Leah Gen. 30.17 then â—oubtlesse she prayed that must be implied â—en in ver 22. God hearkened unto Rachel â—o sure she had also prayed Mahlon and â—hilion take them wives in Moab who were â—otorious Idolaters but from their Husbands â—imples they had learned to serve the true â—od of Israel Ruth especially was brought to constant love of the true God for when her other in Law had put her upon the triall and â—d perswaded her Sister to returne backe â—aine to her people and to her gods yet â—e would by no meanes follow her Mothers â—ounsell nor her Sisters Apostatizing examâ—e but strongly adheres to the true God of â—ael and will forsake Countrey and deare naâ—rall friends besides rather than depart from â—e God of her Husband read the whole â—hapter of the first of Ruth Thus we see that good examples from Husbands may gaine upon the spirits of their wives some good Affections to goodnesse and care to imitate the best Patterns Now as good examples in Husbands may with Gods blessing produce glorious and comfortable effects upon the hearts and in the Conversations of good wives so on the contrary bad examples from Husbands before their wives may bring them to the height of all wickednesse and pertinaciousness in those their perishing waies without the infinite mercy of God in Christ Of which take a president or two in 1 King 16.25 it is said that Omri wrought evill in the eyes of the Lord and did worse than all that were before him And then in ver 30. it is said that Ahab the Son of Omri did evill in the sight of the Lord above all that were before him VVhere by the way we see the Son imitates the Father in his wicked waies Now as Ahab was a worshipper of false Gods so he was an enemy to the Prophets of the true God for proofe whereof mind the 9 10. and 17. verses of the 18. Chap. of 1 King Also Chap 21.20 so again in Chap. 22.8 where he plainely saith he hated Micaiah but observe how his accursed wife Jezebel followeth his vile way of persecuting Elijah she hates and seekes his life 1 Kings 19.2 But if it be said it is to no purpose this way to insert passages of wickedness relating to Omri and Ahab they were not Husband and VVife but Father and Son I answer it is true they were so but that is taken notice of only to prove Ahab was a wicked man before he had Jezebel to wife who did stir him up to wickednesse 1 Kings 21.25 for she might be both a follower of his bad examples as doubtlesse she was and yet a provoker of him to abundance of notorious vilenesse But take a president cleare from all exception from Ananias and Saphira his wife Ananias observing the forwardnesse of many true Chistians whom God had blest with some temporall Estates in the time of others great extremities by reason of poverty in times of persecution that they were willing to sell all and communicate it to others which held out the life of love to Christ Ananias I say observing this he plaies the close hypocrite and bids as faire to maintaine the name and forme of a Christian as others did but he detaines a part of the money in a private way for to maintaine him and his wife yet pretends and affirmes the contrary His wife Saphira follows his example of hypocrisie joynes with him in false affirmations and so both perish together Acts 5.1 to the end of ver 10. Beloved Thou that art a Husband as chiefly in relation to God and thy own soule hast need to walke accurately with all circumspection in the whole course of thy life to beware of any scandalous waies out of pitty to thy poore yoak-fellow that by thy example thou lead her not into the way of sin and so to hell for ever without the infinite and boundlesse mercy of God For if thou be carelesse herein Dives in Hell will rise up in judgement against thee at the last day for in that place of torment he had some charity as we may say to his poore Brethren I know it is but a Parable but yet there is much in Parables and thou hast none on Earth to the soule of thy poore wife yet this I must grant that in Hell there can be no charity for that is a grace and so cannot be there but to speake properly it was a fruit of selfe-love he knew he had led his Brethren by his example into the way of sin and that leades to Hell and that if they should come there it would aggravate his horrour and guilt And truly if thou shouldst shun giving evill examples to thy wife on that ground that is out of selfe-love it were better to do it so than not at all for we see it by daily experience that such as the Husband is the Wife is divers times the same if he be zealous in good duties and frequent therein if he be full of selfe-deniall and of patience under the Rod of God resigning himselfe to be at his dispose if he be of an humble spirit full of Temperance Sobriety Love and of a pitifull and tender heart to those that are in misery and ready to every good worke and labouring to hold forth the power of godliness in Mortification and Vivification in dying to sin and living to righteousness If he labour to live by faith against sense If he labour to worship God publikely privately and secretly I say if the Husband have these graces these qualifications and Divine Operations O how will a gracious wife heave and strive pant after and gaspe for spirituall vigour in the strength of God to imitate the same in her sweet precious heavenly and Angelicall Husband Ah Deare heart let me beg of thee and beseech thee with all the obsecrations in the world that thou wouldst give thy wife no worse examples than those for hereby thou shalt glorifie God Edifie and build up thy wife in grace discharge a grand Matrimoniall duty and gaine demonstrations of thy present gracious condition here and
the Palsie and grievously tormented he goes in person to Jesus Christ who was a Physitian both for body and soul and humbly beseecheth him for his servants cure and through the free grace of Christ obtains it its good to goe to God in the first place for supplyes of all the wants of our selves and our relations Hee that is in misery ought to bee comforted of his neighbour as it is in the Geneva Translation Job 6.14 Now if Neighbours must put forth themselves to comfort or relieve and help such as are in any misery How much more must Governours of Families labour to perform this duty to their sick and distempered servants the inference is undenyable A good man is mercifull to his beast saith one Translation And another saith A righteous man regardeth the life of his Beast Proverbs 12.10 And how much better is a man than a sheep Mat. 12.12 But it is much to be bewailed that many servants who have in their health and strength well discharged their duties to their Masters yet find small comfort and regard from them when the hand of God is fallen upon them for they are then either sent home to their poor and indigent Parents to take care after or else mued up in a hole and small attendance and lesse allowance of means for their good provided for them such Governours of Families are cursed and hard-hearted persons and pity it is that ever good servants should step over their Thresholds to serve them for such have neither mercy nor justice in them neither grace nor good nature And yet of this stamp and hell-bred crew there are great swarms but let them take heed God is just their owne children be not so served when they are servants to others but I wish them better speed We might here adde a Word concerning seasonable Recreations to be allowed to servants for they may stand in great need of them sometimes after long and sore labour to quicken their spirits and to enliven them with all alacrity to return to their imployment we say Whet is no let And without doubt if Masters would grant it them they would be rather gainers by in the quick and wel-managing their businesses than losers But when Masters grant this liberty as before said I would advise them to take much care that the Recreations allowed be lawfull the time seasonable and their servants company civill or else both Masters and servants may repent the one that they gave the liberty and the other that they so ill improved the same In the second place it is the duty of Masters c. The second outward duty that Masters owe to their servants to allow their servants sufficient wages for their labour and to pay it to them when it is due If they have not sufficient wages they cannot maintaine themselves for the preservation of health and decency both which must be allowed nay and more too if their deserts challenge the same servants may spend thoughts of changing their estate we say service is no heritage and must they make no preparation in order thereunto That were absurd to thinke would you that are Masters have your servants barely live You would not like that if you would be pleased to put your selves in their condition But in the second place it is the duty of Masters to pay their servants their wages in due time and that is when it is due by the conditions of the Contract betweene you and them Mal. 3.5 God threatens to be a swift witnesse against this particular sin of oppressing the hireling in his wages amongst other sins Now a man may be guilty of this sin as well in deteining due wages in relation to time of paiment of it as in over-reaching a servant in contract for it turne to that place Deut. 24.14 15. Thou shalt not oppresse an hired servant at his day thou shalt give him his hire neither shall the sun go down upon it The Labourer is worthy of his hire Luk. 10.7 Masters give unto your servants that which is just and equall Col. 4.1 James tels you that the detaining wages from Labourers cryeth and the cries of them are entred into the cares of the Lord of Sabbath James 5.4 And surely when ever the Lord gives an eare to cries whether the cry of Innocent bloud as that of Abel Gen. 4.10 or any other occasion some fearfull vengeance doth fall upon the heads of such as cause them to ascend and therefore the Apostle James bids those worldlings houle for those miseries that should come upon them Now you that are Masters c. as you would keep off the curse prevent the cry The third duty of Masters to their Servants In the third and last place the dutie of Masters c. to their servants is to be liberall to them at times of parting in case they have been servants a considerable time and have been diligent and faithfull and so a blessing to them Deut. 15.12 13 14. So Prov. 17.2 There be many Masters who are strangers to this duty even in the knowledge of it and more in the practice thereof Yet some I dare not say in conscience to the performance of this duty but rather from the freenesse of their nature doe upon the matter that which is equivalent hereunto namely those that if their servants part from them by Marriage will give them beneficiall wedding dinners and sometimes divers peeces of necessary houshold-stuffe which is a great advantage to them and this is so laudable a thing that I could wish all would more practice the same provided they prevent all abusivenesse of the Creature by luxury and excess and disorder of every kind at such meetings Thus you see that Governours of Families do owe three duties to their servants in relation to their outward conditions First to allow unthem meat drinke and all other necessaries for their comfortable subsistance Secondly to yield them sufficient wages And lastly to be liberall to them at time of parting And thus by the gracious assistance of God we have finished all that was proposed at first to be considered of by such as desire to enter into the Marriage estate relating to the duties which each person in that condition of life owe one to another and both of them to such as God shall set under them viz. to children and servants But here it will be of some concernment to take notice of what duty children and servants owe unto Parents and Masters that they may call upon them to performe the same where we shall first observe the duties Children owe unto their Parents and then the duties of Servants to their Masters c. In the first place it is the duty of Children to yield unto their Parents all due Reverence and Honour The first duty Children owe unto their Parents this duty is expresly commanded by God in Exod. 20.12 Honour thy father and thy mother which the Apostle Eph. 6.2 takes notice
among all men which indeed it is the words following containe an Admonition and run thus Therefore is not to be enterprized that is Marriage nor taken in hand unadvisedly lightly or wantonly to satisfie mens carnall lusts and appetites like brute Beasts that have no understanding but Reverently discreetly advisedly soberly and in the feare of God duly considering the causes for which Matrimony was ordained c. such rash inconsiderate heady and unadvised persons as these never labour to see themselves to have a cleare Call to change their conditions by entring into the Marriage estate They desire no spirituall gifts to enable them to performe spirituall duties They look not upon any qualifications in the party they desire to enjoy in such a condition provided there be person and beauty to satisfie their brutish lusts and mony to please their covetous humour they will marry their hearts and soules to a bag of silver or gold these answer the Proverbe What hath she what is she and so they make money to answer all things As Solomon speakes yet to other ends Eccl. 10.19 And as for the way and meanes which God hath sanctified and appointed for men to walke in and make use of to obtaine good wives and meet helpers they will not set one foot in them they will not go to God by prayer for direction this way and for successe herein they scarce know what God is and for the duty of Prayer they know not so much as the A B C of it and as for Parents consent they regard not that all they desire is to inveigle maids to love them and enchant their foolish affections to answer their unreasonable desires let Parents consent or not consent what care they but for some sinister ends for portion sake or to attaine preferment by their favour There is an impure generation who have overspread the Nation yea and many other parts too like the Locusts in Egypt Exod. 10.14 who purposely do invent obscene lascivious scurrilous and filthy songs and Ballads on purpose to pollute and poyson young Virgins and Maids with carnall fleshly and abominable lusts that so they may bring them over to themselves for uncleane dalliance at present and then make them yield to their hellish Motions and run point blanke against the consent of their Parents to bestow themselves on them but poore Creatures when they thinke they are good wives they are but filthy Whores so long as Parents consent is not obtained by means whereof the Common-wealth is filled with abundance of Whores Bastards by which meanes also it comes to passe that Townes and Parishes are so over-charged with poore that there can scarce be an able Family there And where be they who labour to informe themselves in the duties which married persons are call'd to performe each to other and both to their Families And these duties to mind as I have said before Marriage that afterward they might practice them Truly this is the condition of multitudes of Men and Women now conjoyned together after their way in Marriage by reason whereof the Land is full of ignorant and extreamely profane Families by this meanes it is come to passe that the power of Godlinesse is slighted here is the cause why Sabbaths are profaned this is the cause why faithfull Ministers are the scorne of this Age this is the cause of so much Whoredome Drunkennesse Lying Cheating Over-reaching and what not amongst us Ah you poore soules who have contracted Marriage before you were call'd to it and have so wickedly entred into and lived in it all the sins before-mentioned and also what sins else can be named must like so many illegitimate children be brought and laid at your door and you must be Fathers and Mothers to them Never looke to prosper in your soules especially untill you labour to remove the guilt by repentance and teares of godly Compunction and untill thou reforme for which end be carefull to be informed in the duties thou art called to performe in the state of Marriage and then set about the discharge of them as in the presence of God labour to redeeme lost time by double diligence in the well improving the future and so God may yet be gracious to you and yours and make you blessings both to Church and Common-wealth In the last place it may serve for instruction Vse 2 First unto the unmarried And secondly to those in the Married condition First let me direct my selfe to you that are in the single Estate but yet mind a change of that life of yours as opportunity shall serve you to accomplish your desires Dost thou then desire I say to change thy condition as beforesaid and wouldst thou faine enjoy a meet helper in all conditions God shall put thee into whether prosperity or adversity Then let me exhort thee and be thou exhorted in the name and feare of God to see God going before thee by a cleare Call to enterprize so great a businesse even in fitting thee for the same as hath been before laid downe and in particular labour to get an humble spirit and an understanding heart to discharge all duties to every relation that God shall set under thee and that for their good both of body and soule that thou maiest be a blessing to them and they under God a comfort to thee labour to propound to thy selfe lawfull ends in that thy undertaking and be sure walke in warrantable waies and use godly and lawfull meanes to carry on thy desires by and amongst those meanes set down for thy direction mind well in a way of practice the going to God by Prayer then use double care and diligence to meet with one for thy companion who is of a gracious frame both of heart and life so far as possibly can be discerned And for those other qualifications before-mentioned be so far from slighting them that rather on the contrary be unsatisfied in thy thoughts if thou find any one of them wanting Yet not so unsatisfied as to divert thy affections from such a party because some one of them are undiscerned and perhaps some others a little defective but if the maine be there then in the name and feare of the great God proceed gradually to put a period to all thy cares paines and endeavours that way and now being married if thou wouldst have God say amen to all those joyes thy friends and acquaintance wish thee then set thy selfe the worke that lyeth before thee namely thy godly and Christian-like discharging of all the duty that estate cals for from thee which brings me to the second thing proposed in this Use that is to speake a word or two of Instruction to those in the Marriage condition It is a true saying that Marriage is either Merry-age or Mar-age But if thou wouldst have it to thee Merry-age and not Mar-age then now labour to walke with God in the conscientious discharge of all the duties that the same estate ties thee to