the earth all that is in them behold they bid me on euery side that I should loue thee nor cease they to say so vnto all to make them inexcuseable But more profoundly wilt thou haue mercy on whom thou wilt haue mercy and wilt haue compassion vpon whom thou wilt haue compassion for else doe the heauen and the earth speake forth thy prayses vnto the deafe What now do I loue whenas I loue thee not the beauty of any corporall thing not the order of times not the brightnesse of the light which to behold is so gladsome to our eyes not the pleasant melodies of songs of all kinds not the fragrant smell of flowers and oyntments and spices not Manna and honey nor any fayre limbs that are so acceptable to fleshly embracements 2. I loue none of these things whenas I loue my God and yet I loue a certaine kinde of light and a kind of voyce and a kinde of fragrancy and a kinde of meat and a kind of embracement Whenas I loue my God who is both the light and the voyce and the sweet smell and the meate and the embracement of my inner man where that light shineth vnto my soule which no place can receiue that voyce soundeth which time depriues me not of and that fragrancy smelleth which no wind scatters that meate tasteth which eating deuoures not and that embracement clingeth to mee which satiety diuorceth not This is it which I loue when as I loue my God And what is this I askt the Earth and that answered me I am not it and whatsoeuer are in it made the same confession I asked the Sea and the deepes and the creeping things and they answered me We are not thy God seeke aboue vs. I asked the fleeting winds and the whole Ayre with his inhabitants answered me That Anaximenes was deceiued I am not thy God I asked the heauens the Sunne and Moone and Starres Nor say they are wee the God whom thou seekest 3. And I replyed vnto all these which stand so round about these dores of my flesh You haue answered me concerning my God that you are not he And they cryed out with aloud voyce He made vs. My questioning with them is my intention their answer is their figure and species And I turned my selfe vnto my selfe and sayd Who art thou And I answered A man for behold here is a soule and a body in me one without and the other within By which of these two am I to seeke my God whom my body had inquired after from earth to heauen euen so farre as I was able to send these beames of mine eyes in ambassage But the better part is the inner part vnto which all these my bodily messengers gaue vp their intelligence as being the President and Iudge of all the seuerall answers of heauen and earth and of all things that are therein who all sayd Wee are not God but He made vs. These things did my inner man knâ—w by the intelligence giuen him by the outer man And I the inner man knew all this I the soule by meanes of the Sences of the body 4. I asked the whole frame of the world concerning my God and that answered mee I am not He but Hee made me Doth not this corporeall figure guidently appeare to all those that haue their perfect sences why then speakes it not the same things vnto all The creatures both small and great doe see this corporeall figure well enough but they are not able to aske any questions of it because Iudge Reason is not President ouer their Sences which are to giue vp intelligence vnto him But Men are well able to aske that so they may clearely see the inuisible things of God which are vnderstood by the things that are made But by inordinate loue of them they make themselues subiects vnto them and slaues are not fit to be Iudges Nor will the creatures answere to such as aske of them vnlesse the askers be able to iudge nor so much as alter their voyce that is their out-ward appearance if so bee one man onely lookes vpon it and another seeing it withall enquires of it so as it may appeare one way to this man and another way to that man but it appearing the same way vnto both is dumbe to this man but makes answere vnto that Yea verily it speakes vnto all but they onely vnderstand it who compare that voyce receiued from without by the Sences with the Truth which is within For Truth sayes vnto me Neyther heauen nor earth nor any other body is thy God This their very Nature sayes vnto him that lookes vpon them There is lesse bulke in the part of a thing then in the whole Now vnto thee I speake O my soule Thou art my better part for thou quickenest this bulke of my body by giuing life vnto it which no body can giue vnto a body but thy God is the life of thy life vnto thee CHAP. 7. God is not to bee found by any ability in our bodies 1. VVHat is it therefore which I loue when as I loue my God who is Hee that is aboue the top of my Soule By this very soule will I ascend vp vnto him I will so are beyond that faculty of mine by which I am vnited vnto my body and by which I fill the whole frame of it with life I cannot by that faculty finde my God for so the Horse Mule that haue no vnderstanding might as well finde him seeing they haue the same faculty by which their bodies liue also 2. But another faculty there is not that onely by which I giue life but that too by which I giue sence vnto my flesh which the Lord hath framed for me when namely he commands the eye that it should not heare and the care that it should not see but orders that for mee to see by and this for mee to heare withall and assignes what is proper to the other Sences seuerally in their owne seates and offices which being diuers through euery sence yet I the soule being but one doe actuate and gouerne I will I say mount beyond this faculty of mine for euen the Horse and Mule haue this seeing they also are sensible in their bodies CHAP. 8. The force of the Memory 1. I Will soare therefore beyond this faculty of my nature still rysing by degrees vnto Him who hath made both mee and that nature And I come into these fields and spacious palaces of my Memory where the treasures of innumerable formes brought into it from these things that haue beene perceiued by the sences be hoarded vp There is layd vp whatsoeuer besides wee thinke eyther by way of enlarging or diminishing or any other wayes varying of those things which the sence hath come at yea and if there bee any thing recommended to it and there layd vp which forgetfulnesse hath not swallowed vp and buried To this treasury when
my soule is not affrighted at it I will love thee O Lord and thanke thee and I will confesse unto thy Name because thou hast forgiven mee this crime and these hainous deeds of mine unto thy grace and mercie doe I ascribe that thou hast dissolved my sinnes as it were Ice yea unto thy grace doe I ascribe whatsoever evils I have not done For what evill was not I apt enough to commit who loved the sinne for the sinnes sake Yea all I confesse to be forgiven me both what evils I committed wilfully and what by thy guidance I have not committed 2. What man is he who upon consideration of his owne infirmity dares so farre to ascribe his chastity and innocency to his owne vertue as that he thereupon should love thee the lesse as if thy mercy by which thou forgivest those that turne unto thee had beene lesse necessary for him Who soever now being effectually called by thee hath obeyed thy voice and declined those transgressions which hee here reades me remembring and confessing of my selfe let him not laugh at me who am now cured by that same Physician who ministred unto him such preservatives that he might not be sicke at all or but a little distempered rather but let him take occasion thereupon to love thee so much yea so much the more since by that Physician he hath observed mee to have beene recovered out of such deepe consumptions of sinfulnesse by the same hand he perceives himselfe not to have beene incumbred by the like CHAP. 8. What hee loved in that his theft 1. VVHat fruite had I wretched man heretofore in these things of the remembrance whereof I am now ashamed In that piece of theeverie especially wherein I loved nothing but the very Theft it selfe whereas that was nothing of it selfe but I much the more miserable by it Yet by my selfe alone I would not have committed it so well I now remember what my disposition then was that alone I would never have done it Belike therefore it was the company that I loved who were with me at it And even therfore I loved nothing but the theft it selfe yea verily nothing else because that circumstance of the company was indeed a very nothing 2. What is this verily who is it that teacheth me but even he that inlightneth my heart and discovers the darknesse of it What is that which came into my head to enquire into and to discusse and consider better of For had I then loved those Peares which I stole I might have done it by my selfe had it beene enough barely to commit the The every by which I might attaine my pleasure nor needed I have provoked that itch of mine owne desires by the rubbing of those guilty consciences But because the pleasure I tooke consisted not in those Peares it must needes therefore bee in the very pranke it selfe which the company of us offenders joyntly committed together CHAP. 9. Bad company is infectious 1. VVHat kinde of disposition was that then For it was too bad plainly and woe to me that I had it But yet what was it Oh wh◠can understand his errours We laught heartily till wee tickled againe that wee could beguile the owners who little thought what wee were a doing and would never have indured it Yet againe why tooke I delight even in this that I did it not alone Is it for that no man doth so readily laugh alone ordinarily indeed no body does but yet a fit of laughter sometimes comes upon men by themselves and singly when no body else is with them if any thing worthy to be laught at comes eyther in their eye or fancies Yet I for my part would not have done this alone I should never have done it alone verily 2. See here my God the lively emembrance of my soule set beforethee Alone I would never have committed that Theft wherein what I stole did not so much content me as because I stole it which would never have pleased me so well to have done alone nor would I ever have done it O friendship too unfriendly thou inveigler of the soule thou reasonlesse greedinesse to doe mischiefe all out of a mirth and wantonnesse thou thirst to doe wrong to others though upon no pleasure of gaine or revenge unto our selves but even because when one cryes Let 's goe let 's doe this or that 't is ashame not to be shamelesse CHAP. 10. Whatsoever is good is in God 1. VVHo can picke out that crooked and intricate knottinesse 'T is filthy I will never give my mind to it I will not so much as looke towards it But thee I desire O Righteousnesse and Innocency most beautifull and comely to all chaste eyes yea with an insatiable satiety I desire to behold thee With thee is Rest assured and a life never to bee disturbed Hee that enters into thee enters into his masters joy and hee shall have no cause of feare and shall be well in him who is the best 〈◊〉 a way from thee and I went astray O my God yea too much astray from thee my stay in these dayes of my youth and I became to my selfe as it were that far Country of misery SAINT AVGVSTINES Confessions THE THIRD BOOKE CHAP. 1. He is caught with love which he hunted after TO Carthage I came where a whole Frying-pan full of abominable Loves crakled round about me and on every side I was not in love as yet yet I loved to be in love with a more secret kind of want I hated my selfe having little want I sought about for something to love loving still to be beloved safety I hated and that way too that had no snares in it and all because I had a famine within me even of that inward food thy selfe my God though that famine made mee not hungry For I continued without all appetite towards incorruptible nourishments not because I was already full but the more empty the more queasie stomackt For this cause my soule was not very well but miserably breaking out into botches had an extreme itch to be scratcht by the touch of these sensible things who yet if they had not a life could not deserve to be beloved It was very pleasurable to me both to love and to be beloved but much more when I obtained to enjoy the person whom I loved 2. I defiled therefore the Spring of friendship with the filth of uncleannesse and I be fullied the purity of it with the hell of lustfulnesse But thus filthy and dishonest as I was with a superlative kind of vanity I took a pride to passe for a spruce and a gentile companion I forced my selfe also into love with which I affected to be insuared My God my Mercy with how much sowrenesse didst thou out of thy goodnesse to me besawce that sweetenesse For obtayning once to be beloved againe and secretly arriving to the bond of enjoying I was with much joy bound with sorrow-bringing
at all no being such empty huskes as these was I then fed with yet not a whit nourished 3. But thou my Love after whom I pine that I may gather the more strength art not these bodies which we see though froÌ„ heaven appearing nor art thou any of those which wee see not there for all those hast thou created nor yet in these chiefest pieces of thy workmanship art thou farre absent How farre then art thou from those fond fantasies of mine the phantasies of those bodies which have at all no being than which the Images of those bodies which have reall existence are farre more certaine and yet the bodies themselves more certaine than their owne Images yet these bodies thou art not No nor yet art thou the Soule which is the life of those bodies though better and more certaine be the life of those bodies than the bodies themselves are But thou art the life of soules the life of lives yea the very living life itselfe nor art thou altered O life of my soule Where therefore how neere wert thou then unto me and how far from me Very far verily had I stragled from thee being even barr'd from the huskes of those swine whom with huskes I was set to feed How much better then are those fables of the Poets and Grammarians than these fooletraps For their Verses and Poems and Medea flying are more profitable surely than these mens Five elements odly devised to answer the Five Dens of darknesse which have at all no being and which slay the beleever For verses and Poems I verily can referre to the true Elements But Medea flying although I charted sometimes yet I maintaind not the truth of and though I heard it sung I beleeved it not But these phantasies I throughly beleeved 4. Alas alas by what degrees was I brought into the very bottome of hell when as toyling and tunnoyling my selfe through want of Truth I sought after thee my GOD to thee I now confesse it who hadst mercy on me when I had not yet confessed not according to the understanding of the minde wherein thou madest mee excell the beasts but according to the sense of the flesh But thou at the same time wert more inward to me than my most inward part and superiour then unto my supremest I chanced upon that bold woman who is simple and knoweth nothing that subtilty in Salomon sitting at the doore of her house and saying Eate yee bread of secrecies willingly and drinke yee stolne waters which are sweete This harlot seduced me because she found my soule without doores dwelling in the eye of my flesh and chewing the cud by my selfe upon such bayts as through her inticement I had devoured CHAP. 7. The absurd doctrine of the Manichees 1. FOr I knew not that there was any other truth and was as it were through mine owne sharpe wit perswaded to give my consent to those foolish deceivers when they put these questions to me Whence cometh evill and whether God were made up in a bodily shape and had haires and nayles and whether those were to be esteemed righteous men who had many wives at once and did kill men and offered sacrifices of living creatures At which things ignorant I was much troubled and while I went quite from the truth I seemed to my selfe to be making towards it because I yet knew not how that evill was nothing else but a privation of good having of it selfe at all no being Which how should I come to see whose sight pierced no further than to a Body with mine eyes and with my soule no deeper than to a meere phantasie 2. Nor did I yet know God to be a Spirit who hath not any parts extended in length and breadth or whose Being was to bee a bulke for that every bulke is lesser in his part than in his whole and if it be infinite it must needs be lesse in some part that is limited in a certaine space than that which is not limited and cannot so bee wholly every where as a spirit as God is And which part in us that should be by which we were like to God and how rightly in the Scriptures we may be said to be made after the Image of God I was altogether ignorant Nor was yet acquainted with that true and inward righteousnesse which judgeth not according to custome but out of the most rightfull Law of God Almighty by which the fashions of severall places and times were so desposed as was fittest both for those times and places it selfe in the meane time being The same alwaies and every where not another thing in another place nor otherwise upon another occasion According to which righteousnesse both Abraham and Isaac and Iacob and Moses were righteous yea and all those other commended by the mouth of GOD but they were judged unrighteous by unskilfull people judging out of humane judgment and measuring all mankinde in generall by the model of their owne customes just as iâ— in an Armory a man being ignorant what peice were appointed for what part should clap a boote upon his head draw an headpeice upon his leg and then murmur because they would not fit him or as if upon some â—â— day when the course of Iustice 〈◊〉 publikely forbidden in the afternoone a shopkeeper should stomacke at it that he may not have leave to sell his wares which it was lawfull for him to doe it the forenoone or when in some house he observeth some servant to passe that kinde of businesâ— through his hands which the Butcher is not suffered to medle withall or some thing done behinde the stable which is forbidden in the dyning-roome or as if he should bee angry that where there is one dwelling house and one family the same equality of distribution is not observed every where and to all alike in it 3. Of the same humor bee those who are fretted to heare something to have beene lawfull for righteous men in the former age which is not so for just men now adayes And because GOD commanded them one thingthen and these an other thing now for certaine temporall respects and yet those of both ages to be servants to the same righteousnesse whereas they may observe that in one man and in one day and in one house one thing to bee fit enough for one member and one thing to bee lawfull now which an hower hence is not so and some thing to be permitted or commanded in one corner which is forbidden and punished in another Is Iustice thereupon various or mutable No but the times rather in which Iustice governes are not like one another for they are times But men now whose life is but short upon the earth for that in their owne apprehensions they are not able to compare together the causes of those former ages and of other nations which they have had no experience of with these which they have had experience of
was I welcomed with the rod of bodily sicknesse and I was even ready to goe to hell carrying with me all those sinnes which I had committed both against thee and my selfe yea many and grievous offences against others over and above that bond of originall sinne whereby wee all dye in Adam For thou hadst not yet forgiven mee any thing in Christ nor had he yet slaine that enmity by his Crosse which by my sins I had incurred and how indeed could he by an imaginary suffering upon it which was my beleefe of it How false therefore the death of his Flesh seemed unto mee so true was the death of my soule and how true the death of his body was so false was the life of my soule which did not beleeve the death of his body My feaâ—es now growing more violent upon me I was at the point of going and perishing for whither should I have gone had I dyed at that time but into fire and torments such as my misdeeds were worthy of in the truth of thy decree Of all this nothing knew my mother yet continued she to pray for me though in absence But thou who art present every where heardest her where she was and hadst compassion upon me whereas I was for I recovered health of body thereupon though sorely crazed as yet in my sacrilegious heart For I had not in all that danger desired thy baptisme I was better affected being but a youth when through my mothers devotion in my sicknesse I had bin very earnest to receive it as I have before recited and confessed 2. But I had from thenceforth growne worse and worse to my owne shame and now starke madde I scoffed at those prescripts of that Physike of thine by which thou wouldst not suffer me to dye two deaths at once with which wound should my mothers heart have beene goared it could never have been cured For I want words to expresse the affection shee bare towards me and with how much vehementeranguish she was now in labour of me in the spirit than she had been at her child-bearing in the flesh I cannot possible see therefore how she should have beene cured had so unchristian a death of mine once strucken through the bowels of her love And what should then have become of those passionate prayers of hers so frequently and incessantly in all places made unto thee But wouldst thou O God of mercies have despised that contrite and humbled heart of that chast and sober widdow so frequent in Almesdeeds so obsequious and serviceable to thy Saints who passed no day without her oblation at thine Altar never missing twice a day morning and evening to come to Church not to listen after idle tales and old wives chat but that shee might heare thee speaking to her in thy Sermons and thou her in her prayers 3. Couldst thou despise and reject without thy succour those teares of hers with which shee beg'd no gold or silver of thee nor any mutable or fading good but the salvation of her sonnes soule onely couldst thou doe it by whose grace she was inspired to doe thus By no meanes Lord. Yea thou wert still at hand and thou heardest her and thou didst all in the selfe-same order thou hadst predestinated it should be done in Let it never bee thought thou shouldst deceive her in those Visions and Answers shee had of thee both those which I have already remembred and those which I have not remembred all which shee laid up in her faithfull heart which in her prayers ever and anon shee would presse thee withall as with thine owne handwriting For thou because they mercy endureth for ever vouchsafest unto those whose debts thou forgivest thoroughly even to become a kinde of debter by thy promises CHAP. 10. His errours before his receiving of the Doctrine of the Gospell 1. THou recoveredst me therfore of that sicknesse and healedst the sonne of thy handmayd at that time in his body that thou mightest bestow upon him a health farre better and more certaine I consorted my selfe in Rome at that time with those deceiving and deceived Holy ones not onely with their Disciples of which mine Host was one in whose house I fell sicke and recovered but also with those whom they called The Elect. For I was hitherto of the opinion That it was not wee our selves that sinned but I know not what other nature in us and it much delighted my proud conceipt to bee set beyond the power of sinne and when I had committed any sinne not to confesse I had done any that thou mightest heale my soule when I had sinned against thee but I loved to excuse it and to accuse I know not what other corruption that I bare about me and that it was not I that did it But verily it was I my selfe altogether and mine owne impiety had made the division in me and that sinne of mine was the more incurable for that I did not judge my selfe to be a sinner and most execrable iniquity it was that I had rather have thee O GOD Almighty even thee I say to bee overcome by me to mine owne destruction than my selfe to bee overcome of thee to mine owne salvation 2. Thou hadst not yet therefore set a watch before my mouth and kept the doore of my lipps that my heart might not incline to wicked speeches to the excusing of these excuses of my sinnes with the men that worke iniquity and even therefore continued I still combined with their Elect ones But yet now as it were dispayring much to profit my selfe in that false doctrine even those opinions of theirs with which if I could chance upon no better I was resolv'd to rest contented I began now to be something more remisse and carelesse in the holding For there rose a conceipt in me That those Philosophers which they call Academikes should bee wiser than the rest even for that they hold men ought to make a doubt upon every thing and for that they determined how that no truth can bee comprehended by man for thus to me they seemed clearly to have thought as it is commonly received even by such as understand not the utmost of their meaning by it 3. And as free and open I was to disswade that Host of mine from that too much confidence which I perceived him to settle upon those fabulous opinions which the Manichees bookes are full of And yet I made more familiar use of their friendship than I did of other mens that were not of this heresie Yet did I not maintaine it with my ancient obstinacy but yet did my familiarity with that Sect of whom Rome shelters too many make me slower to seeke out any other way especially seeing I now despayred O LORD of heaven and earth Creator of all visible and invisible things to finde the truth in thy Church which they had quite put mee out of conceipt with And it then seem'd a
If ye have not beene faithfull in the unrighteous Mamman who will commit to your trust true riches And if ye have not beene faithfull in that which is another mans who shall give you that which is your owne Such a man as I have described did at that time adjoyne himselfe unto me and wavered in his purpose as I did what course of life was to be taken Nebridius also who having left his native Countrey neere Carthage yea and Carthage it selfe where for the most part he lived leaving his Fathers lands which were very rich leaving his owne house and a Mother behinde who meant not like mine to follow after him was by this time come to Millan and for no other reason neither but that he might bestow himselfe with me in a most ardent desire after Truth and Wisdome Together with mee hee sighed and with me he wavered still continuing a most ardent searcher after happinesse and a most acute examiner of the difficultest Questions Thus were there now gotten together the mouthes of three Beggars fighing out their wants one to another and waiting upon thee that thou mightest give them their meat in due season And in much anguish of spirit which by the disposing of thy mercie still followed our worldly affaires looking towards the end why wee should suffer all this darknesse beelouded us whereupon wee turned away mourning to our selves saying How long will things continue at this stay This wee often said but in saying so wee yet forsooke not our errours for that wee yet discovered no certainty which when wee had forsaken them we might betake our selves unto CHAP. 11. Hee deliberates what course of life he were best to take 1. ANd I admired extremely pondering earnestly with my selfe and examining of my memory what a deale of time I had consumed since that nine and twentieth yeere of mine age in which I began first to be inflamed with the study of wisdome resolving that when I had found that to let passe all those empty hopes and lying phrenzies of vaine desires And behold I was now going of my thirtieth yeere still sticking in the same clay still possest with a greedinesse of enjoying things present they as fast flitting and wasting my soule I still saying to my selfe To morrow I shall finde it out it will appeare very plainely and I shall understand it and behold Faustus the Manichee will come and cleere every thing O you great men of the Academikes opinion who affirme That no certaine course for the ordering of our lives can possibly be comprehended Nay let us rather search the more diligently and not despaire of finding for behold those things in the Ecclesiasticall Bookes are not absurd to us now which sometimes seemed so for they may be otherwise yea and that honestly understood I will hence-forth pitch my foot upon that step on which being yet a child my parents placed mee untill such time as the cleere Truth may be found out 2. But where-abouts shall it be sought for When shall it be sought for Ambrose is not at leasure nor have we our selves any spare time to reade But where shall we finde the Books to reade on Whence or when can we procure them or from whom borrow them Let set times be appointed and certaine houres distributed for the health of our soules We now begin to conceive great hopes The Catholike Faith teaches not what we thought it had whereof we vainely accused it The learned men of that Faith hold it for a detestable opinion to beleeve God to be comprehended under the figure of our humane body and do we doubt to knocke that the other mysteries may be also opened unto us All the forenoones our schollers take up what shall we doe the rest of the day Why goe wee not about this But when then shall we visite our greater friends of whose favours we stand in need What time shall wee have to compose some discourses to sell to Schollers When shall wee recreate our selves and unbend our mindes from those cares they are too earnest upon Let all these thoughts perish let us give over these vaine and empty fancies and betake our selves solely to search out the Truth Life is miserable Death uncertaine if it steales upon us on the sudden in what case shall wee goe out of the world where shall we then learne what wee have here neglected Or rather shall we not there suffer the due punishment of our negligence If it be objected That Death will quite cut off both care and sense of all these things and there 's an end of them Rather let that bee first inquired into But God forbid that we should be of that mind It is not for no purpose 't is no idle toy that so eminent a heighth of authority which the Christian Faith hath is diffused all the world over Should then such and so great blessings be by the divine providence wrought for us if so be that together with the death of the body the life of the soule should bee brought to nothing also Wherefore then delay we time any longer that giving over our hopes of this world we might give up our selves wholly to seek after God a happy life 3. But stay a while Even these worldly things are sweet and they have some and that no small pleasure We are not too lightly to divorce our purposes from them for that it were a foule shame to make love againe to them See 't is no such great matter to obtain some Office of honour and what should a man desire more in this world We have store of potent friends though we had nothing else let us put our selves forward some place of preferment or other may be bestowed upon us or a Wife at least may be had with a good portion to ease our charges and this shal be the full point of our desires Many great persons and those worthy of our imitation have addicted themselves to the study of wisdome in the state of mariage 4. Whilest these things wee discoursed of and these winds of uncontainties changed up and downe and drove my heart this way and that way the time still passed on but I was slow to bee converted to my Lord God and from one day to another I deferred to live in thee but deferred not daily to dye within my selfe Being thus in love with an happy life yet feared I to finde it in its proper place and fleeing from it I sought after it I thought I should be too miserable should I bee debarred of the imbracements of a Woman as for that medicine of thy mercie which should cure that infirmity I never thought of it and all because I had no experience of it As for continency I supposed it to bee in the liberty of our owne power of which I for my part was not guilty being so foolish withall that I knew it not to be written That no man can preserve his
did I yet observe that very Intention of mine by which I formed those Images was not any such corporeall substance which yet could not have formed them had not it selfe beene some great thing In like manner did I conceive thee O thou Life of my life to be some hugie corporeall substance on every side piercing thorow the whole Globe of this world yea and diffused every way without it and that by infinite spaces though unbounded So that the Earth should have thee the Heaven should have thee all things should have thee and that they should be bounded in thee but thou no where 4. For as the body of this Ayre which is about the Earth hindred not the light of the Sun from passing thorow it which pierceth it not by bursting or by cutting but by filling of it so thought I that not the body of the Heaven the Ayre Sea onely but of the Earth too to be at pleasure passable unto thee yea easie to be pierced by thee in all its greatest and smallest parts that all might receive thy presence which by a secret inspiration both inwardly and outwardly governeth all things which thou hast created Thus I suspected because any other thing I could not thinke of and yet was this false too For by this meanes should a greater part of the Earth have contained a larger portion of thee and the lesse a lesser and then should all things in such sort have been full of thee as that the body of an Elephant should containe so much more of thee than the body of a Sparrow by how much that should be bigger than this and take up more roome by it by which conceipt shouldest thou make thy parts present unto the severall parts of the World by bits as it were great gobbets to great parts little bits to little parts of the world But thus thou art not present But thou hadst not as yet enlightned my darknesse CHAP. 2. Nebridius confutes the Manichees 1. IT might have bin enough for me Lord to have opposed against those deceived and deceivers those dumbe praters therefore dumbe because they founded not forth thy Word That question might have serv'd the turne which long agoe whiles wee were at Carthage Nebridius used to propound at which all we that heard it were much staggered namely What that I know not which nation of darknesse which the Manichees were wont to set in opposition against thee would have done unto thee hadst thou beene minded to fight with it For had they answered It would have done thee some hurt thē shouldst thou have bin subject to violence and corruption but if they answered It could do thee no hurt then would there have beene no reason brought for thy fighting with it especially for such a fighting in which some certaine portion or member of thine or some off-spring of thy substance should have been mingled with those contrary powers those natures not created by thee by whom it should so farre have beene corrupted and changed to the worse that it should have beene turned from happinesse into misery and should have stood in neede of some assistance by which it must both be delivered and purged and that this Off-spring of thy substance was our soule which being inthralled thy Word that was free and being defiled thy Word that was pure and being may med thy Word that was entire might every way releeve and yet that Word it selfe also bee corruptible because it was the off-spring of one and the same substance 2. Againe should they affirme thee whatsoever thou art that is thy substance to be incorruptible then were all these fancies of theirs most false and execrable But if they should affirme thee to bee corruptible even that were most false and to be abhorred at the first hearing This Argument therefore of Nebridius verily had beene enough against those who deserved wholly to bee spised out of my over-charged stomake for that they had no evasion to betake themselves unto without most horrible blasphemy both of heart and tongue thinking and speaking of thee in this fashion CHAP. 3. Free will is the cause of Sinne. 1. BVt I as yet although I both said and thought most confidently that thou our Lord God who madest not only our soules but our bodies and not onely both soules and bodies but Vs all and all things else beside wert neither to bee corrupted or altered one way or other yet understood I not hitherto What should be the cause of evill And yet what-ever it were I perceived I ought in that sense to inquire after it that I might not be constrained to beleeve that the incommutable GOD could be altered by it left my selfe should bee made the thing that I desired to seeke After this therefore I inquired with more security being very certaine that the Manichees Tenet whom I dissented from with my whole heart was no way true for that I discovered them whilest they enquired after evill to be most full of maliciousnesse they thinking that thy substance did rather suffer ill than their owne commit evill Whereupon I applyed my industrie to understand the truth of what I had heard how that Free-will should be the cause of our ill-doing And thy just Iudgement that we suffered ill But I was not able cleerely to discerne it 2. Endevouring therefore to draw the eye of my soule out of that pit I was againe plunged into it and endevouring often I was plunged as often But this raised me a little up towards thy light that I now knew as well that I had a Will as that I had a life and when therefore I did either will or nill any thing I was most sure of it that I did no other thing but will and nill and there was the Cause of my sinne as I perceived presently But what I did against my will that seemed I to suffer rather than to doe That judged I not to be my fault but my punishment whereby I holding thee most just quickly confessed my selfe not to bee unjustly punished 3. But I objected to my selfe againe Who made me Did not my GOD who is not onely good but Goodnesse it selfe Whence then came it that I can both will and nill evill things that there might be cause found why I should be justly punisht for it Who was it that set this freedome in me that ingrafted into my stemme this Cyon of bitternesse seeing I was wholly made up by my most sweet God If the Divell were the Author whence is that same Divell And if he himselfe by his own perverse will of a good Angell became a Divell whence then proceeded that perverse will in him whereby he was made a Divell seeing that the whole nature of Angels was made good by that most good Creator And by such thoughts as these was I againe cast down and overwhelmed yet not so farre brought downe was I as the Hell of that Errour where no man shall confesse
because the memory now feeling that it did not beare about so much of it together as it had wont to doe and halting as it were vpon the may me receiued in the losse of what it had beene vsed vnto it eagerly layes about to haue that made vp againe which was wanting Like as some knowne man eyther seene or thought on if hauing forgotten his name we study to recouer it what euer name but his comes into our memory it will not peize in with it and all because that name was neuer vsed to bee thought vpon together with that man which name therfore is so long reiected vntil that at length presents it selfe vnto the memory with which as hauing beene acquainted with the knowledge of it may euenly iump in withall And from whence does that name present it selfe but out of the memory for when being put in minde by some other man wee know it to bee the same 't is by vertue of the memory Nor doe wee now beleeue it as any new name but vpon the assurance of our Remembrance doe wee allow it to be the same that was named to vs. But were the name vtterly blotted out of the minde we should not then remember it when we were againe put in minde of it For wee haue not vtterly as yet forgotten that which wee remember our selues to haue forgotten That lost notion therefore which wee haue vtterly forgotten shall we neuer be able so much as to seeke after CHAP. 20. All men desire blessednesse 1. HOw then doe I seeke after thee O Lord For when I seeke thee my God I seeke an happy life I will seeke thee that my soule may liue For my body that liueth by my soule and my soule by thee Which way then doe I seeke for an happy life seeing it is not to bee found vntill I can say It is enough in that place where I am to say it How seeke I it Whether by way of Remembrance as one that had forgotten it and yet remember my selfe to haue forgotten it Or by way of appetite to learne it as a thing vnknown which eyther I neuer knew or at least to haue so farre forgotten it as that I doe not so much as remember that I haue forgotten it Is nor an happy life the thing which all desire and is there any man that some way or other desires it not But where gate they the knowledge of it that they are so desirous of it where did they euer see it that they are now so enamored of it Truely we haue it but which way I know not yea there is a certaine other way which when any hath hee is euen then blessed And some there bee that bee blessed in hope These haue it in a meaner kind then those who are in possession who yet are much better then such as are neyther blessed in deede nor in hope which very same men for all this had they it not in some sort or other would not so much as desire to bee happy which that they doe desire is most certaine 2. How they come to know it I cannot tell and therefore haue they it by I know not what secret notice concerning which in much doubt I am whether it bee in the memory or no which if it bee then should wee sometimes haue beene blessed heretofore But whether euery man should haue beene so happy as seuerally considered in himselfe or as in the loynes of that man who first sinned and in whom wee are all dead and from whom being descended wee are all borne with misery I now inquire not but this I demaund whether this blessed life bee in the memory or no For neuer should wee loue it did wee not know it Wee heare the name and we all confesse our desire vnto the thing for wee are not delighted with the sound onely For when a Grecian heares the name sounded in Latine he is no wayes delighted for that hee knowes not what is spoken but wee Latines are delighted with it euen as he is if hee heares it pronounced in Greeke because the thing it selfe is neyther Greeke nor Latine the attayning whereof both Greekes and Latines doe so earnestly looke after like as the men of other Languages doe Knowne therfore vnto all it is and could they with one voyce bee demanded Whether they would be happy or no without doubt they would all answer That they would And this could not bee vnlesse the thing it selfe expressed by this name were still reserued in their memory CHAP. 21. We also remember what we neuer had 1. BVt is it so in memory as Carthage is to a man that hath seeue it No. For a blessed life is not to bee seene with the eye because it is not a body Doe wee then so remember it as wee doe numbers Neyther For these hee that already hath in his knowledge seekes not further to attayne vnto As for blessed lofe wee haue that already in our knowledge therefore doe we loue it and yet desire to attaine that wee may bee blessed Doe wee remember it then as we doe eloquence Nor so For although some vpon hearing of the name doe thereupon call to minde the thing who yet were neuer eloquent and many doe it that desire to bee so whereupon it appeares to bee already in their knowledge yet hauing by their outward Sences obserued others to bee more eloquent they are both delighted at it and desire to be so themselues notwithstanding if by their outward notice they had not obserued it they could not haue beene delighted with it nor to be eloquent but that they were delighted with such as were eloquent But what this blessed life should be wee can by no sence of our body get the experience of 2. Or is it so in memory as the ioy is that wee remember perchance so indeede for my ioy I remember euen whilest I am sadde like as I doe a happy life euen whilest I am vnhappy nor did I euer with any bodily sence eyther see or heare or smell or taste or touch that ioy of mine but I found it in my minde wheneuer I reioyced and the knowledge of it stucke so fast in my memory that I was well able to call it to remembrance with contempt sometimes and with fresh desire other whiles euen according to the diuersity of those things for which I remembred my selfe to haue reioyced For euen at vncleane thoughts was I sometimes ouerioyed which calling to minde againe I now both detest and curse And other whiles doe I ioy at good and honest thoughts which I call to minde with some desire although they perchance present not themselues and therefore againe sad at it doe I call to mind my former reioycing Where therfore and when had I any feeling of a blessed life that I should remember and loue and desire it Nor is it my desire alone or of some few besides but euery man verily would be happy which vnlesse by some certaine knowledge
him put away the bitternesse of malice and wickednesse let him not kil nor commit adultery nor steale nor beare false witnesse that the dry land may appeare and bring forth the honouring of Father and mother and the loue of our neyghbour All these sayth hee haue I kept 2. Whence then commeth such stoare of thornes if so bee the earth bee fruitefull Goe stubbe vp those thicke bushes of couetousnesse sell that thou hast and fill thy selfe with standing corne by giuing to the poore and follow the Lord if thou wilt be perfect that is associated to them among whom he speaketh wisedome he that well knoweth what to distribute to the day and what vnto the night that thou also mayst know it and that for thee there may bee lights made in the Firmament of heauen which neuer will bee vnlesse thy heart be there nor will that euer bee vnlesse there thy treasure bee also like as thou hearest of our good master But that barren earth was sorry at that saying and the thornes choaked the word in him 2. But you O chosen generation you weake things of the world who haue forsaken all that ye may follow the Lord goe yee now after him and confound the strong go after him O yee beautifull feete and shine yee in the Firmament that the heauens may declare his glory you that are mid-way betweene the light and the perfect ones though not so perfect yet as the Angels and the darkenesse of the little ones though not vtterly despised Shine yee ouer all the earth and let one day enlightened by the Sunne vtter vnto another day a speech of Wisedome and one night enlightened by the Moone shew vnto another night a word of knowledge The Moone and Starres shine in the night yet doeth not the night obscure them seeing they giue that light vnto it which it is capeable of For behold as if God had giuen the word Let there lights in the Firmament of heauen there came suddenly a sound from heauen as it had been the rusking of a mighty winde and there appeared clouen tongues like as it had beene of fire and it sate vpon each of them and there were made lights in the Firmament of heauen which had the word of life in them Ely euery where about O you holy flies O you beauteous fires for you are the light of the world nor are you put vnder a bushell he whom you claue vnto is exalted himselfe and hath exalted you Ranne you abroad and make your selues knowne vnto all nations CHAP. 20. He allegorizes vpon the creation of spirituall things 1. LEt the Sea also conceiue and bring forth your works ◠and let the waters bring foorth the mouing creature that hath life For you by separating the good from the bad are made the mouth of God by whom he sayd Let the waters bring forth not a liuing soule which the earth brings forth but the mouing creatures hauing life in it and the winged fowles that fly ouer the earth For thy Sacrament O God by the ministerie of thy holy ones haue moued in the middest of the waues of temptation of this present world for the trayning vp of the Gentiles vnto thy name in thy baptisme In the doing wherof many a great wonder was wrought resembling the huge Whales and the voyces of thy Messengers flying aboue the Earth in the open Firmament of thy Bible that being set ouer them as their authority vnder which they were to fly whithersoeuer they went For there is no speech nor language where their voyce is not heard Seeing their sound is gone thorow all the Earth and their words to the end of the world because thou O Lord hast enlarged them by thy blessing 2. Say I not true or doe I mingle and confound and not sufficiently distinguish betweene the knowledge of these lightsome creatures that are in the Firmament of heauen and these corporeall workes in the wauy Sea and those things that are vnder the Firmament of heauen For of those things whereof the vnderstanding is solid and bounded within themselues without any increases of their generations like the lights of Wisedome and Knowledge as it were yet euen of them the operations bee corporeall many and diuers and one thing growing out of another they are multiplyed by thy blessing O God who hast refreshed our soone cloyed mortall sences that so the thing which is but one in the vnderstanding of our mind may by the motions of our bodies bee many seuerall wayes set out and discoursed vpon These Sacraments haue the Waters brought forth yea indeede the necessities of the people estranged from the eternity of thy trueth haue brought them foorth in thy Word that is in thy Gospell Because indeede the Waters cast them foorth the bitternesse whereof was the very cause why these Sacraments went along accompanied with thy Word 3. Now are all things faire that thou hast made but loe thy selfe is infinitely fairer that madest these all from whom had not Adam falne this brackishnesse of the Sea had neuer flowed out of his Ioines namely this mankind so profoundly and so tempestuously swelling and so restlesly tumbling vp and downe And then had there beene no necessitie of thy ministers to worke in many waters after a corporeall and sensible maner such mysterious doings and sayings For in this sense haue those mouing flying creatures at this present fallen into my meditation in which people being trayned vp admitted into though they had receiued corporeal Sacraments should not for all this bee able to profit by them vnlesse their soule were also quickned vp vnto a higher pitch and vnlesse after the word of admission it looked forwards to Perfection CHAP. 21. He allegorizes vpon the Creation of Birds and fishes alluding by them vnto such as haue receiued the Lords supper are better taught and mortified which are perfecter Christians then the meerly baptized 1. ANd hereby by vertue of thy Word not the deepnesse of the Sea but the earth it selfe once separated from the bitternesse of the waters brings forth not the creeping and flying creatures of seules hauing life in them but the liuing soule it selfe which hath now no more neede of Baptisme as the heathen yet haue and as it selfe also had when it was couered heretofore with the waters For there is entrance into the kingdome of heauen no other way since the time that thou hast instituted this Sacrament for mē to enter by nor does the liuing soule any more seeke after miracles to worke Beliefe nor is it so with it any longer That vnlesse it sees signes and wonders it will not beleeue now that the faithfull Earth is separated from the waters that were bitter with infidelity and that tongues are for a signe not to them that beleeue but to them that beleeue not The Earth therefore which thou hast founded vpon the waters hath no more neede
now of that flying kind which at thy word the waters brought foorth Send thou thy word into it by thy Messengers for their labors indeede they are which we speake of but yet thou art he that worketh in them that they may worke a soule to haue life in it 2. The Earth brings forth that is the Earth is the cause that â— they worke this in the soule like as the Sea was the cause that they wrought vpon the mouing things that haue life in them as also vpon the fowles that flie in the open firmament of heauen of whome this Earth hath no neede although it seedes vpon that fish which was taken out of the deepe vpon that Table which thou hast prepared for the faythfull For therefore was He taken out of the Deepe that hee might feede the Dry land the Fowle though bred in the Sea is yet multiplyed vpon the Earth For of the first preachings of the Euangelists mans infidelity was the cause yet giue they good exhortations vnto the faythfull also yea and many wayes doe they blesse them from day to day But as for the liuing soule that tooke his beginning from the Earth for it profits not the faythfull vnlesse they can containe themselues from the loue of this world that so their soule many only liue vnto thee which was dead while it lined in pleasure in such pleasures Lord as bring death with them For t is thou O Lord that art the vitall delight of a pure heart 3. Now therefore let thy Ministers worke vpon this with i not as sometimes they did vpon the waters of Infidelity when they preached and spake by miracles and Sacraments and mysterious expressions when as Ignorance the mother of Admiration might giue good care â—o theÌ„ out of a reuerent feare it had towards those secret wonders For such is the entrance that is made vnto faith by the sonnes of Adam forgetfull of thee while they 〈◊〉 themselues from thee 〈◊〉 become a darksome deep But let thy Ministers worke â—ow as vpon dry land that is separated from the gulfes of the great deepe and let them 〈◊〉 patterne vnto the faithfull by liuing before them â—â— stirring the vp to imitation For thus are men to heare not with an intent to hearken only but to doe also Seeke the Lord and your soule shall liue That the Earth may bring forth the liuing soule Be not conformed to this world Containe your selues from it then shall your soules liue by auoyding it which dyed by affecting it 4. Contayne your selues from the immoderate wild humour of pride the litherly voluptuousnesse of lust and the false name of knowledge that so the wilde beasts may be tamed the cattell made tractable and the Serpents harmelesse For these bee the motions of our minde vnder an Allegory that is to say the haughtynesse of pride the delight of lust and the poyson of curiosity these be the motions of a dead soule For the soule dyes not so vtterly as that it wants all motion because it dying by departing from the fountayne of life is there upon taken vp by this transitory world and is conâ—â—â—ed vnto it But thy word O God is the fountaine of eternall life and that neuer calleth away wherefore this departure of the Soule is restrayned by thy word when 〈◊〉 sayd vnto vs Be not conformed vnto this world that so the Earth may in the fountyne of life bring forth a 〈◊〉 soule that is a soule 〈◊〉 continent by vertue of 〈◊〉 Word deliuered by thy 〈◊〉 and by followâ—â—â— the followers of Christ 〈◊〉 is indeede to liue after 〈…〉 because the emution a man takes is from â—â— friend Be yee sayth he â— am for I am as you are 〈◊〉 in this liuing soule shall 〈◊〉 be good beasts meeke 〈◊〉 actions For thou 〈◊〉 commanded Goe on with thy businesse in meekenesse so shalt thou be beloued of all men And there shall be good cattell in it too which neither of they eate much shall haue nothing ouer nor if they eate little any lacke and good Serpents not dangerous to doe hurt but wise to take heed such as will make such a search into this temporall nature as may bee sufficient that Gods eternity may be cleerly seene being vnderstood by the things that are made For these Creatures are then obedient vnto Reason when being once restrayned from their deadly preuayling vpon vs they liue and become good CHAP. 22. Of Regeneration by the Spirit He allegorizes vpon the Creation of man 1. FOr behold O Lord our God our Creatour soone as euer our affectioÌ„s are restrayned from the loue of the world by which we died through our euill-liuing and began to bee a liuing soule through our good liuing and that the word which thou hast spoken be thy Apostle shal be made good in vs Be not conformed to this world that next followes vpon it which thou presently subioynedst saying But be ye transformed by the renuing of your mind not as liuing now after your kind as if you followed your neighbour next before you nor yet as liuing after the example of some better man for thou didst not say Let man be made after his kinde but Lei vs make man after our own Image and similitude that we might proue what thy will is For to this purpose sayd that dispencer of thine who begets Children by the Gospell that hee might not euer haue them babes whom hee must bee sayne to feede with milke and bring vp like a nurse Be ye transformed sayth he by the renewing of your mind that ye may proue what is that good that acceptable and perfect will of God Wherefore thou sayest not Let man he made but Let vs make man Nor saydst thou According to his kind but After our own Image likenesse For man being renewed in his minde and able to discerne and vnderstand thy truth needs no more any direction of man to follow after his kind but by thy shewing doth hee proue what is that good that acceptable and perfect will of thine yea thou teachest him that is now made capeable to discerne the Trinity of the Unity and the Vnity of the Trinity Whereas therefore it was spoken in the plurall number Let vs make man vet is it presently inferred in the singular And God made man and whereas t is sayd in the plurall number After our owne likenesse yet is inferred in the singular After the Image of God Thus is man renewed vnto the knowledge of God after the Image of him that created him and being made Spirituall he now iudges all things those namely that are to bee iudged yet hee himselfe is iudged of no man CHAP. 23 Of what things a Christian may iudge He allegorizes vpon mans dominion ouer the creatures THat hee now iudgeth all things this is the meaning That he hath dominion ouer the fish of the Sea and
he but our God the very sweetnes and well-spring of Righteousnesse who shalt render to every man according to his workes and a broken and contrite heart wilt thou not despise 2. There was in those dayes a wise Gentleman very skilfull in Physicks and famous for his Art who being at that time Proconsul had with his owne hand put the Garland upon my distempered head but not as a Physician for this disease thou onely curest who resistest the proud and givest grace to the humble But didst thou faile me by that old Physician or forbarest to heale my soule For in regard I grew more acquainted with him and that I diligently and firmely depended upon his advice for hoe delivered it in neate termes full of quicke sentences both pleasant and grave withall Who when hee had gathered by my discourse that I was given to study the bookes of the Nativity-casters and Figure-flingers hee courteously and fatherly advised me to cast them all away and that I should not hereafter in vaine bestow my care or diligence which was necessary for more useful things upon that vaine study affirming withall that himselfe had in his yonger yeeres studied that Art with a purpose to get his living by it hoping if he could once have understood Hypocrates he might attaine to understand that kinde of learning also and that hee had given it over and wholly betaken himselfe to Physicke for no other reason but that he found it most deceitfull and he being a grave man would not get his living by cheating of people But thou saith he hast the profession of Rhetoricke to maintaine thy selfe by whereas thou followest this study voluntarily not driven to it by necessity so much the more then oughtest thou to give me credit in this point who laboured to attaine to perfection in it out of a purpose meerely to get my living by it 3. Of whom when I had demanded what the reason was then why so many true things should be foretold by it Hee answered mee as well as hee could That the force of Chance diffused round about in the nature of things brought this about For if when a man had by hap-hazard consulted the books of some Poet who sang of and intended cleane another matter the Verses did oftentimes fall out wondrously agreeable to the present businesse it were not then to be wondred at saith he if out of the soule of man by some higher instinct knowing nothing what is done within it selfe some answer should be given which more by hap than any good cunning should have agreement to the businesse and actions of the demander And thus much truely either from or by him thou then wroughtest for me and then decypheredst in my memory what of my selfe I should seeke out afterwards But yet at that time neither he nor my most deare Nebridius a very good dispositioned yong man and very cautelous who utterly derided that whole manner of Divination could perswade with me to cast away those studies even because the authority of the very Authors overswayed more with me and that I had not yet light upon any demonstrative argument such as I sought for whereby it might cleerely and without all doubtfulnesse appeare that what had beene truely foretold by those Masters of the Science were spoken by Fortune or by chance and not out of the sure Art of the Starre-gazers CHAP. 4. He relates the sicknesse and baptisme of his Friend whom himselfe had infected with heresie he grievously laments his death 1. IN those yeeres when I first of all began to teach Rhetoricke in the Towne where I was borne I gained a very deare friend upon the occasion of the neerenesse of our studies one he was about mine owne age now springing up with mee in the flowre of youth He had growne up of a child with me and both schoole-fellowes and play-fellowes wee had beene But yet was he not so truly my friend no nor of later times neither as true friendship should be indeed for true it cannot be unlesse thou soderest it betwixt such parties as cleave together unto thee by that love which is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us But yet a very sweet friendship it was being ripened by the heate of the equality of our studies For from the true faith which he being a Youth was not soundly and throughly grounded in I had wrapt him even towards those selfe-same superstitious and pernicious Fables for which my Mother bewailed my condition With me now erred the mind of that man nor could my soule be without him But behold thou ever at the backes of thy Runne-awaies the God of revenge and Father of mercies both at the same time who turnest us to thy selfe by most wonderfull means tookest that man out of this life when hee had scarce continued one whole yeere in my friendship sweet to mee above all sweetnesse of this life 2. What one man is able to recount all thy praises which he hath felt in him selfe alone What was it thou then didst my God and how unsearchable is the bottomlesse depth of thy Iudgements For when as one day sofe sicke of his Feaver hee lay senselesse in a deadly sweat and all despairing of his recoverie he was baptized unwitting to himselfe my selfe meane while little regarding and presuming that his soule would have retained rather what it had received of me and not what was now wrought in the body of him that knew nothing of it But it fell out farre otherwise for he became refreshed and recovered his health upon it For when as soone as ever I could come to speake with him and I could so soone as he was able for I had never yet gone from him and we very neerely depended one upon another I offered to scoffe as if he also would have scoffed with me for company at that Baptisme which he being most absent both in understanding and feeling had lately received but had now understood that he had received But hee lookt with as great indignation upon me as I had beene his morrall enemy and with an admirable and sudden freedome of language advised mee that if I purposed to continue his friend I should forbeare such talke to him 3. But I all astonied and amazed put off the disclosing of my private commotions till hee should grow well againe and had recovered so much strength of health that hee were fit for me to deale with as I would my selfe But he was taken away from my phrenzie that with thee hee might bee preserved for my future comfort falling in my absence a few dayes after into a relapse of his Feaver and was parted away from mee At the griefe of this my heart was utterly over-clouded and whatsoever I cast mine eye upon lookt like death unto me Mine owne Country was a very Prison to me and my Fathers house a wonderfull unhappinesse and whatsoever I had communicated in
with him wanting him turned to my most cruell torture Mine eyes rov'd about every where for him but they met not with him and I hated all places for that they had not him nor could they now tell me Behold he will come shortly as when he was alive they did when-ever he was absent I became a great examiner of my selfe and I often asked over my soule why she was so sad and why she afflicted mee so sorely but shee knew not what to answer mee Then said I to my soule Put thy trust in God but very justly she did not obey me because that most deare man whom she had lost was both truer and better than that phantasticall God she was bid to trust in Only teares were sweet to me for they had now succeeded in my friends place in the dearest of my affections CHAP. 5. Of teares in our prayers for and bewailing of the thing beloved 1. ANd now Lord are these things well passed over and time hath asswaged the anguish of my wound May I learne this from theâ— who art Truth and may I apply the eare of my heart unto thy mouth that thou maist tell me the reason why weeping should bee so sweet to people in misery Hast thou notwithstanding thou art present every where cast away our misery farre from thee and thou remainest constant in thy selfe but we are tumbled up and downe in divers tryals and yet unlesse wee should bewayle our selves in thine eares there should no hope remaine for us How comes it then to passe that such sweet fruit is gathered from the bitter tree of a miserable life namely to mourne and weepe and sigh and complaine Is it this that sweetens it that we are in hope thou hearest us This may be rightly thought of our prayers because they have a desire to approach unto thee But may it be so said too concerning that griefe and mourning for the thing lost with which I was then wholly overwhelmed For I could not hope he should now revive againe nor did I desire this with all my teares but bemone him onely I did and weep for him seeing a wretch I was and had utterly lost all my joy Or is weeping a bitter thing and yet out of a full-gorg'dnesse of what we before enjoyed and in the very instant while wee are a loathing of them can it be pleasing to us CHAP. 6. He tels with what great affection he loved his friend 1. BVt what speake I of these things for 't is no time to aske questions but to confesse unto thee Wretched I was and wretched is every soule that is engaged in the friendship of mortall things he becomes all to pieces when he forgoes them and then first he becomes sensible of his misery by which he is already miserable even before hee forgoes them This was my case at that time I wept full bitterly and yet was best at quiet in that bitternesse Thus was I wretched enough and that wretched life I accounted more deare than my friend himselfe For though I would gladly have exchanged it yet as unwilling I was to forgoe that as I had been to lose him yea I knew not whether I would have forgone that even to have enjoyed him Like as the tradition if it be not a fiction goes of Pilades and Orestes who would gladly have dyed one for another or else both together it being to them worse than death not to live together But I know not what kinde of affection prevailed with mee which was too much contrary to theirs for both grievously tedious to me it was to live and yet fearefull I was to dye I suppose that how much the more affectionately I loved him so much the more did I both hate and feare as my cruellest enemy death which had bereaved me of him and I imagined it would speedily make an end of all other men because it had the power to doe of him Even thus I well remember stood I then affected 2. Behold my heart O my GOD yea search it throughly search it because I remember it well O my Hope who cleansest me from the impurity of such affections directing mine eyes towards thee and plucking my feet out of the snare For I much admired that other mortals did live since he whom I so loved as if he never should have dyed was now dead yea I more admired that my selfe who was to him a second selfe should be able to live after him Well said he of his friend Thou halfe of my soule for I still thought my soule and his soule to have beene but one soule in two bodies and therefore was my life a very horror to me because I would not live by halves And even therefore perchance was I afraid to dye lest he should wholy die whom so passionately I had loved CHAP. 7. The impatientnesse of griefe constraines us to shift our dwellings 1 O Madnesse which knowest not how to love men as men should be loved O foolish man which so impatiently endurest the chances mortality is subject unto Thus mad and foolish was I at that time Therefore I storm'd and puâ—t and cryed and tumbled being capable neither of Rest nor Counsayle For I was sayne to uphold my shattered and blood-blubbered soule which yet had not patience enough to be supported by me yet a place where to dispose of it I could not light upon Not in the delightfull groves not where mirth and musicke was nor in the odoriferous Gardens nor in curious Banquettings nor in the pleasures of the Bed and Chambering nor finally in reading over eyther Verse or Prose tooke it any contentment Every thing was offensive yea the very light it selfe and whatsoever were not as hee was was alike painefull and hatefull to me except groaning and weeping For onely in those found I a little refreshment 2. But so soone as I had retired my soule from them a huge weight of misery over-loaded me which thou onely couldest ease and lighten O Lord. I knew thus much and yet indeed I would not nor was I able for thou wert not any solid or substantiall thing unto me when in those dayes I thought upon thee For not thou thy selfe but mine owne idle phantasie and errouâ— were then my God If I offered to discharge my burthen upon that to give it some easement fell as it were into the empty ayre and came tumbling againe upon me whereupon I remained so unfortunate a place to my selfe as there I could neither stay nor get away from it For whither should my heart flye from my heart Whither was it possible to fly from mine own selfe Whither should I not have followed my selfe And yet after all this out of my Countrey fled for so should mine eyes lesse looke for him there where they were not wont to see him And thus I left Tagaste and came to Carthage CHAP. 8. Time cures Sorrow 1. TImes lose no time not doe they idly goe and returne
about these senses of ours but they cause strange operations in our minds Behold they went aâ—â— same day by day and by going and comming to and againe they brought into my minde other notions and other remembrances and by little and little prec'd mee up againe with my old kind of delights unto which my present sorrow gave some way And yet to that againe there succeeded though not other griefes yet the causes of other griefes For how came that former griefe so easily and so deepely to make impression in me but even from hence that I had spilt my soule upon the sand in loving a man that must once dye as if he never had beene to dye For the coÌ„fortings of other friends did mostly repaire and refresh me with whom I did love what for thy sake I did not love and this was a great Fable and a long lye by the impare repetition whereof our soule which lay itching in our eares was wholly corrupted 2. But that Fable would Not yet dye with me so oft as any or my friends dyed But there were some other things which in my friends company did take my minde namely to discourse and to laugh with them and to doe obsequious offices of courtesie one to another to reade pretty bookes together sometimes to be in jest and other whiles seriously honest to one another sometimes so to dissent without discontent as a man would doe with his owne selfe and even with the seldomnesse of those dissenting season our more frequent consentings sometimes would we teach and sometimes learne one of another wish for the company of the absent with impatience and welcome 〈◊〉 the new commers with joyâ—â—â—nesse With these and the like expressions proceeding out of the hearts of those that loved and repaired one anothers affections by the countenance by the tongue by the eyes and by a thousand other most pleasing motions did we soder or runne as it were our soules together and made but one out of many CHAP. 9. The comparing of humane friendship with divine 1. THis is it now which a man loves in our friends and so loves it that he must in conscience confesse himselfe guilty if he should not love him that loves him againe or not love that man againe that loves him first expecting no other thing from him besides the pure demonstration of his love Hence is that mourning when ever a friend dyes yea those overcastings of sorrowes that steeping of the heart in teares all sweetnesse utterly turn'd into bitternesse hence too upon the losse of the life of the dying comes the death of the living But blessed is the man that loves thee and his friend in thee and his enemy for thee For he alone loses none that is deare unto him to whom all are deare in him that can never bee lost And who is this but our God the God that made heaven and earth and who filleth them because in filling them he created them Thee no man loses but he that lets thee go And he that lets thee goe whither goes hee or whither runnes he but from thee well pleased backe to thee offended For where shall not such a one finde thy Law fulfilled in his owne punishment And thy Law is truth and Truth is thy selfe CHAP. 10. All beauty is from God who is to be praysed for all 1. TUrne us O God of Hosts shew us the light of thy countenance and wee shall bee whole For which way soever the soule of man turnes it selfe unlesse towards thee it is even rivetted-into dolours Yea though it settles it selfe upon beautifull objects without thee and without it selfe which beauties were no beauties at all unlesse they were from thee They rise and set and by rising they beginne to have Being they grow up that they may attaine perfection which having attained they waxe old and wither for grow old all must and all must wither too Therefore when they spring up and tend towards a Being looke how much more hast they make to Be so much the more they also make not to Be. This is the law of them Thus much hast thou bequeath'd them because they are parcels of things which are not extant all at one time but which by decaying and succeeding doe altogether play the part of the whole universe whereof they are the parcels And even thus is our speech delivered by sounds significant for it will never be a perfect sentence unlesse one word gives way when it hath sounded his part that another may succeede it 2. And by them let my soule prayse thee O God Creator of things but yet let not my soule bee fastned in to these things with the glew of love through the senses of my body For these things goe whither they were purposely to go that they might no longer Be and they cleave the soule in sunder which most pestilent desires even * because the soule earnestly desires to be one with them and loves finally to rest in these things which shee loves But in those things shee finds not settlement which are still fleeing because they stand not ever at the same stay and who is he that can follow them with the senses of his flesh yea who is able to overtake them when they are hard by him 3. For the sense of our flesh is slow even because it is the sense of our flesh and it 's selfe is it's owne measure Sufficient enough it is for the end it is made for but it is not sufficient for this namely to hold at a stay things running of course from their appointed starting place to their Races end For in thy Word by which they were created they heare this signall from hence and even thus farre CHAP. 11. All things are created mutable in themselves and immutable in God 1. BE not foolish O my soule and make not the care of thine heart deafe with the tumult of folly But hearken now the Word it selfe calls to thee to returne for there is the place of quiet not to be disturbed where thy love can never be forsaken if it selfe leaves not off to love Behold these things give way that other things may come in their places that so this lower would may at last have all his parts But doe I ever depart saith the Word of God There set up thy dwelling trust there whatsoever thou hast left O my soule especially since thou art at length tired out with these uncertainties Recommend over unto truth whatsoever thou hast left of truth and thou shalt lose nothing by the bargaine yea thy decaies shall reflourish againe and all thy languishments shall be recovered thy fadings shall be refreshed shall be renewed and shall be made to continue with thee nor shall they put thee downe to the place whither themselves descend but they shall stay with thee and stand fast for ever before that God who himselfe stayes and stands fast for ever 2. Why now my perverse
soule wilt thou be still following thine owne flesh Let that rather turne and follow thee What ever by her thou hast sense of is but in part and the whole whereof these are parts thou knowest not and yet this little contents thee But had the sense of thy flesh beene capable of comprehending the whole and not for thy punishment beene stinted to a part of the whole thou wouldst have then desired that whatsoever hath existence at this present should passe away that so the whole might better have pleased thee altogether For what wee speake by the same sense of the flesh thou hearest and yet wouldst not thou have the same syllables sound ever but flye away that others may come on and thou mayst heare up the whole sentence Thus are all these things in ever Being which have still any one part of theirs in being and yet all those parts which goe to the making up of that whole Being are never all together in present Being All together surely must needs delight morefully than parts single if the pleasure of all could be felt all at once But farre better than these all is he that made all and he is our God nor does he depart away for that he hath no successor If bodies then please thee praise God for them and turne thy love upon him that made them lest otherwise in those things which please thee thou displease him CHAP. 12. Love of the creatures is not forbidden provided that in those which please us God bee loved 1. IF then soules please thee let them be loved in God for they are mutable but in him are they firmly established or else would they passe and perish In him therefore let them be beloved and draw unto him along with thee as many soules as thou canst and say to them Him let us love let us love him he made all these nor is hee farre from them For he did not once make them and then get him gone But of him and in him they are See where he is even where-ever truth is savoury Hee is within the very heart but yet hath the heart strayed from him 〈◊〉 againe to your owne heart Oâ—â— transgressors and cleave fast â—â— to him that made you 〈◊〉 with him and you shall 〈◊〉 surely Repose your 〈…〉 him and yee shall rest 〈◊〉 Whither goe you iâ— these 〈◊〉 gy passages O whither goe you The good that you love is 〈◊〉 him and in respect of him 〈◊〉 both good and pleasant But it shall justly be turned to bitternesse because whatsoever is from him is unjustly loved if hee be forsaken for it 2. Whither now wander 〈◊〉 further and further over these difficult and troublesome passages There is no rest to be found where you seeke it Seeke what you doe seeke but yet 't is not there where you are seeking for it You seeke a blessed life in the land of death 't is not there for how should there be a happy life where there is at all no life But our Life descended downe hither and tooke away our death and kild him out of the abundance of his owne life and he thundered calling unto us to returne from hence to him into that secret place from whence he came forth to us comming first into the Virgins wombe where the Humanity was marryed unto him even our mortall flesh though not ever to be mortall and thence came he like a Bridegroome out of his chamber rejoycing as a Giant to run his course For hee foreslow'd not but he ranne crying both in words deedes death descent and ascension still crying to us to returne unto him And hee withdrew himselfe from our eyes that we might returne to our owne heart and there finde him 3. He withdrew himselfe and behold he is still here He would not tarry long with us yet hath he not utterly left us for thither is he gone from whence he never parted because the world was made by him And in this world hee was and into this world hee came to save sinners unto whom my soule now confesseth that he may heale it for it hath sinned against him O ye sonnes of men how long will ye be slow of heart will ye not now after that Life is descended downe to you will not you ascend up to it and live But whither ascended you when you were high-conceipted and lifted up your head into heaven Descend againe that you may ascend and ascend to God For descended you are by ascending against him Tell the soules whom thou lovest thus that they may weepe in this valley of teares and so carry them up with thee unto God because by his Spirit thou speakest thus unto them if speak thou doest burning with the fire of charity CHAP. 13. Love whence it comes 1. THese things I as then knew not and I fell in love with these inferior beauties and I was sinking even to the very bottome and unto my friends I said doe wee love any thing that is not beautifull For what is faire and what is beauty what is it that inveigles us thus and that drawes our affections to the things we love for unlesse there were a gracefulnesse and a beauty in them they could by no meanes draw us unto them And I markt narrowly and perceived that in the bodies themselves there was one thing as it were the whole feature which in that respect was beautifull and another thing that did therefore become because it was aptly fitted to some thing as some part of the body in respect of the whole body or a shooe in respect of the foot and the like And this consideration sprang up in my minde even out of the innermost of my very heart and I composed certaine bookes De Pulchro Apto two or three as I thinke Thou knowest it O Lord for 't is out of my memory For I have them not now by me but lost they are and I know not how CHAP. 14. Of his booke of Faire and Fit 1. WHat was the cause O Lord my GOD that moved me to dedicate unto Icherius an Orator of Rome these bookes of mine whom as then I so much as knew not by face but upon love to the man meerely for the fame of his learning which was eminent in him and some words of his that I had heard which very well pleased me But rather did he please me for that they pleased others who highly extold him admiting much that a Syrian borne brought up first in the Greeke Eloquence should afterwards prove so wonderfull a master in the Latine also being above all this a most knowing man in all the studies that pertaine unto Wisdome A man is commended and loved even when hee is absent Doth then this love enter the heart of the hearer immedidiately from the mouth of the prayser Nothing so But by one lover is another inflamed Hence comes it that hee is oft loved who is heard commended when namely his worth
turne towards thee but went nuddling on and on towards those fancies which have no being neither in thee nor in mee nor in any body For they were not created for me by thy Truth but devised meerely by mine owne vaine conceipt fancying out a body And I demanded of thy faithfull little ones my fellow-Citizens from whom unbeknowing to my selfe I stood exiled I put the question to them I say prating and foolish man that I was Why therfore doth the soule erre which God hath created But I would endure upon no termes any one should demand of me Why therefore doth God erre And I stiffly maintained that thy vnchangeable substance rather did erre upon constraint than be brought to confesse mine owne changhable substance to have gone astray voluntarily or gone any thing neere it 4. I was at that time perchance sixe or seven and twenty yeere old when I composed those Volumnes canvassing up and downe with my selfe these corporeall fictions which were still buzzing in the eares of my heart which eares I intended rather O sweet Truth to hearken after thy inward melody plodding all this time upon my Faire and Fit and desiring to stay and to hearken to thee and to rejoyce exceedingly at the voice of thy Spouse but could not bring my selfe to it for by the cals of mine owne errours I was drawne out of my selfe and opprest with the weight of my owne proud conceipt I sunke into the lowest pit For thou didst not make me to heare 〈◊〉 and gladnesse that the 〈…〉 which thou hadst not yet enough broken might rejoyce CHAP. 16. The admirable aptnesse to Learning and the great understanding S. Augustine had 1. ANd what was I the better for it when scarce twenty yeeres old that Booke of Aristotles Praedicaments falling into my hands of which my Rhetoricke-master of Carthage and others esteemed very good Schollers would be cracking with full mouthes I earnestly and with much suspence gap't upon it at first as upon I know not what deepe and divine peece but read it over afterwards yea and attained the understanding of it by my selfe alone And comparing my Notes afterwards with theirs who protested how hardly they gate to understand the Booke from very able Tutors not dictating to them onely by word of mouth but taking paines also to delineate out in the dust the Schemes and demonstrations of it they could teach me no more of it than I had observed before upon mine owne reading And it seem'd plaine enough to my capacity when they discourst of Substances such as Man is and of the Accidents inhering to these Substances as for example the figure of a man how qualified he was and of what shape and stature how many foot high and his relation to his kindred whose brother he is or where placed or when borne or whether he stands or sits or bee shod or armed or does or suffers any thing and whatsoever to bee learned besides in these nine Praedicaments of which I have given these former examples or these other innumerable observations in that chiefe Praedicament of Substance 2. What now did all this further me seeing withal it as much hindred mee when as I tooke paines to understand thee O my God whose Essence is most wonderfully simple and unchangeable imagining whatsoever had being to bee comprehended under those tenne Praedicaments as if thy selfe had beene subject to thine owne Greatnesse or Beauty and that these two had an inherence in thee like Accidents in their Subject or as in a Body whereas thy greatnesse and beauty is thy Essence but a body is not great or faire in that regard as it is a body seeing that though it were lesse great or faire yet should it be a body notwithstanding But it was a meere falsehood which of thee I had conceived and no truth a very fiction of mine owne foolery and no solid ground of thy happinesse For thou hadst given forth the command and so it came to passe in me that my earth should bring forth bryars and thornes in me and that in the sweat of my browes I should eate my bread 3. And what was I the better that I the vile Slave to wicked affections read over by my selfe and understood all the bookes of those Sciences which they call liberall as many as I could cast mine eye upon And that I tooke great delight in them but knew not all this while whence all that came whatsoever was true or certaine in them For I stood with my backe to the light and with my face toward these things which received that light and therfore my face with which I discern'd these things that were illuminated was not it selfe illuminated What-ever was written either of the Art of Rhetoricke or Logicke what-ever of Geometry Musicke and Arithmeticke I attain'd the understanding of by my selfe without any great difficulty or any instructor at all as thou knowest O Lord my God even because the quicknes of conceiving and the sharpnesse of disputing is thy gift and yet did I not sacrifice any part of it to thy acknowledgement All this therefore served not mee to any good imployment but to my destruction rather since I went about to get so good a part of my portion into mine owne custody and I preserved not mine own abilities entire for thy service but wandring into a far Country to spend it there upon my Harlotries For what good did it me to have good abilities and not employ them to good uses For I understood not that those Arts were attained with great difficulty even by those that were very studious and ingenuous Schollers untill that my selfe going about to interpret them in others hearing hee was held the most excellent at them who was able to follow me with least slownesse 4. But what at last did all this benefit mee thinking all this while that thou O Lord my God of truth wert nothing but a vast and bright Body and my selfe some peece of that Body O extreme perversenesse but in that case was I then nor doe I blush O my God to confesse thy mercies towards mee to call upon thee who blushed not then openly to professe before men mine owne blasphemies and to barke against thee What good did then my nimble wit able to runne over all those Sciences and all those most knotty Volumes made easie to me without helpe or light from any Tutor seeing I err'd so fouly and with so much sacrilegious shamefulnesse in the Doctrine of Piety Or what hinderance was a farre slower wit to thy little ones seeing they straggled not so farre from thee but that in the Nest of thy Church they might securely plume themselves and nourish the wings of charity by the food of a solid faith 5. O Lord our God under the shadow of thy wings let us hope defend thou hold us up Thou shalt beare us up both while we are little and when we are gray-headed for our weaknesse
was very hot upon in that kinde of learning in which at that time being a Rhetoricke-Reader in Carthage I instructed yong Students and I began to reade with him eyther what himselfe desired to heare or such stuffe as I judged fit for such a wit But all my endevour by which I purposed to proceed in that Sect upon knowledge of that man began utterly to faint in me not that I yet brake with them altogether but as one not finding any thing better than that course upon which I had some way or other throwne my selfe I resolved to stay where I was a while untill by some good chance something else might appeare which I should see more cause to make choice of 3. And thus that Faustus who had beene the very snare of death unto divers had now nor willing nor knowing begun to unbinde the snare in which I was fettered For thy hands O my God out of the secret of thy providence did not now forsake my soule and out of the blood of my Mothers heart through her teares night and day powred out hadst thou a Sacrifice offered for me and thou proceededst with me by strange and secret wayes This thou diddest O my God for the steps of a man shall bee directed by the Lord and hee shall dispose his way For how shall we procure salvation but from thy hand that repaires whatsoever thou hast made CHAP. 8. He takes a voyage to Rome against the will of his Mother 1. THou dealtest with me therefore that I should be perswaded to goe to Rome and to teach there rather than at Carthage And how I came to be perswaded to this I will not neglect to confesse unto thee because hereby thy most profound secrets and thy most ready mercie towards us may bee considered upon and professed I had no intent for this cause to goe towards Rome that greater gettings and higher preferments were warranted mee by my friends which perswaded me to the journey though these hopes likewise drew on my minde at that time but there was another great reason for it which was almost the onely reason that I had heard how yong men might follow their studies there more quietly and were kept under a stticter course of discipline that they might not at their pleasures and in insolent manner rush in upon that mans Schoole where their owne Master professed not no nor come within the doores of it unlesse he permitted it 2. But at Carthage on the other side reignes a most uncivill and unruly licentiousnesse amongst the Schollers They breake in audaciously and almost with Bedlam lookes disturbe all order which any Master hath propounded for the good of his Schollers Divers outrages doe they commit with a wonderfull stupidnesse deserving soundly to be punished by the Lawes were not Custome the defendresse of them this declaring them to bee more miserable as if that were lawfull to doe which by thy eternall Law shall never be so and they suppose they escape unpunished all this while whereas they bee enough punished with the blindnesse which they doe it with and that they already suffer things incomparably worse than what they doe These mens manners therefore when I was a Student I would never fashion my selfe unto though when I set up Schoole I was faine to endure them from others and for this cause was I desirous to goe to Rome where all those that knew it assured me that there were no such insolencies committed But thou O my refuge and my portion in the land of the living to force me to change my dwelling for the salvation of my soule didst pricke me forward with goads at Carthage with which I might be driven thence and mad'st proffer of certaine allurements at Rome by which I might be drawne thither even by men who were in love with a dying life now playing mad pranckes then promising vaine hopes and for the reforming of my courses diddest thou make secret use both of their perversenesse and of mine owne too For both they that disturbed my quiet were blinded with a base madnesse and those that invited mee to another course savoured meerely of the Earth And I my selfe who here detested true misery aspired there to a false felicity 3. But the cause why I went from thence and went thither thou knewest O God yet didst thou neither discover it to me nor to my Mother who heavily bewailed my journey and followed me as farre as the Sea side But I deceived her though holding me by force that either I should goe backe with her or she might goe along with me for I feined that I had a friend whom I could not leave till I saw him with a faire wind under saile Thus I made a lye to my Mother and to so good a Mother too and so got away from her But this hast thou mercifully forgiven mee preserving me from the waters of the Sea then full of execrable filthinesse landing me safe at the water of thy Grace with which so soone as I were purged those floods of my Mothers eyes should be dryed up with which for my sake she daily watred the ground under her face in prayer unto thee At last refusing to returne without me I with much adoe perswaded her to stay that night in a place hard by our Ship where there was an Oratory erected in memory of S. Cyprian That night I privily stole aboord but she tarryed behinde in weeping and prayer And what O Lord requested she at thy hands but that thou would'st not suffer me to saile away from her But thou profoundly providing and fearing the maine point of her desire didst not at that time regard her petition that thou mightest bring that to passe in mee which she had alwaies beg'd of thee 4. The wind blew faire and sweld our sailes and the shore withdrew it self from our sights The morrow after she fell into an extreme passion of sorrow and with complaints and lamentation she even fil'd thine eares which did for that time little seeme to regard them even then when through the strength of my owne desires thou didst hurry me away that thou mightest at once put an end to al her cares meane while her carnall affection towards me was justly punished by the scourge of sorrowes For she much doated on my company as Mothers use to doe yea much more fondly than many Mothers for little knew she how great a Ioy thou wert about to worke for her out of my absence She knew nothing of it therfore did she weepe and lament proving herselfe by those tortures to bee guilty of what Eve left behind her with sorrow seeking what shee had brought forth in sorrow But having at last made an end of accusing me of false and hard dealing with her shee betooke her selfe againe to intreat thy favour for me returned home and I went on towards Rome CHAP. 9. Of a shrewd fever that hee fell into 1. BVt loe there
CHAP. 7. He disswades Alipius from his excessive delight in the Circensian games 1. WE joyntly bemoaned our selves for this who lived like friends together but chiefly and most familiarly did I speake hereof with Alipius and Nebridius of whom Alipius was borne in the same Towne with me whose parents were of the chiefe ranke there and himselfe yonger than I he had also studied under me first when I set up Schoole in our owne Towne and at Carthage afterwards He loved me very much because I seemed of a good disposition to him and well learned and I loved him againe for his great towardlines to vertue which was eminent enough for one of no greater yeerâ—â— But that Whirlepit of th◠〈◊〉 thaginian fashions amongst whom those idler spectacles are hotly followed had already swallowed up him in immoderate delight of the Circensian sports But meane while that he was miserably-tumbled up and downe that way and I professing Rhetoricke there had set up a publike Schoole he made no use of me as his Master by reason of some unkindnesse risen betwixt his Father and me Although therefore I had found how dangerously he doted upon the Race-place and that I were grievously perplexed that hee tooke the course to undoe so good a hope as was conceived of him or rather as me thought he had already undone it yet had I no meanes either privately to advise him or by way of constraint to reclaime him by interest of a friendship or the awe of a Master For I supposed verily that he had had the same opinion of me with his Father but he was not of that minde Loying aside therefore his Fathers Quarell hee beganne to salute me comming sometimes into my Schoole heare a little and bee gone By this meanes forgate I to deale with him that he should not for a blinde and headstrong desire of such vaine pastimes undoe so good a wit 2. But thou O Lord thou who sittest at the sterne of all thou hast created hadst not forgotten him who was one day to prove a chiefe Priest of thy Sacraments And that his amendment might plainely be attributed to thy selfe thou truely broughtest it about by my meanes who yet knew nothing of it For when as one day I sate in my accustomed place with my schollers before me in came he saluted me sate him downe and applyed his minde to what I then handled I had by chance a passage then in hand which that I might the better illustrate it seemed very seasonable to me to make use of a similitude borrowed from the Circensian races both to make that which I infinuated more pleasant and more plaine and to give a biting quippe withall at those whom that madnes had enthralled God thou knowest that I little thought at that time of curing Alipius of that pessilence But hee tooke it to himselfe and conceived that I meerely intended it towards him And what another man would have made an occasion of being angry with mee that good yong man made a reason of being offended at himselfe and to love me the more fervently For thou hadst said it long agoe and put it into thy Booke Ribuke a wise man and he will love thee 3. But for my part I meant no rebuke towards him but 't is thou who makest use of all men both knowing or not knowing in that order which thy selfe knowest and that order is just Out of my heart and tongue thou wrought'st burning coales by which thou mightest set on fire that languishing disposition of his of which so good hopes had been conceived and mightst cure it Let such a one conceale thy praises who considers not of thy mercies which my very marrow confesses unto thee For he upon that speech heav'd himselfe out of that pit so deepe wherein he had wilfully beene plunged and had beene hood winkt with the wretched pastime of it and rowzed up his minde with a well-resolved moderntion whereupon all those filths of the Circensian pastimes slew off from him nor came he ever at them afterwards Vpon this prevailed he with his unwilling Father that he might be one of my Schollers Hee yeelded and condescended so that Alipius beginning to bee my Auditor againe was bemussled in the same superstitioÌ„ with me loving that ostentation of continency in the Manichees which he supposed to be true and unseined But verily no better it was than a senselesse and a seducing continency insnaring precious soules not able yet to reach to the height of vertue and easie to be beguiled with a faire outside of that which was but a wel-shadowed a feined vertue CHAP. 8. Alipius is taken with a delight of the Sword-plaies which before he hated 1. HEe not forsaking that worldly course which his parents had charm'd him to pursue went before me to Rome to study the Laws where he was carried away with an incredible greedinesse of seeing the Sword-players For being utterly against and detesting such spectacles when he was one day by chance met withall by divers of his acquaintance and fellow students comming from dinner they with a familiar kinde of violence haled him vehemently denying and resisting them along into the Amphitheater on a time when these cruell and deadly shewes were exhibited he thus protesting Though you hale my body to that place and there set me can you after that force me to give my minde and lend my eyes to these shewes I shall therefore be absent even while I am present and so shall I overcome both you and them too His Companions hearing these words lead him on never the slower desirous perchance to try whether he could be as good as his word or no. When they were come thither and had taken their places as they could all that Round grew hot with mercilesse Pastimes 2. But Alipius closing up the doores of his eyes forbade his minde to range abroad after such mischiefes and I would he had stopped his eares also For upon the fall of one in the sight a mighty cry of the people beating strongly upon him hee being overcome by curiosity and as it were prepared whatsoever it were to contemne it with his sight and to overcome it opened his eyes and was strucken with a deeper wound in his soule than the other was in his body whom hee desired to behold and he presently fell more miserably than the Sword-player did upoÌ„ whose fal that mighty noise was raised Which noise entred through his eares and unlockt his eyes to make way for the striking beating downe of his soule which was bold rather than valiant hitherto and so much the weaker for that it presumed now on it selfe which ought onely to have trusted upon thee For so soone as hee saw another mans blood hee at the very instant drunke downe a kinde of savagenesse nor did he turne away his head but fixed his eye upon it drinking up unawares the very Furies themselves being much taken with the barbarousnesse of
unto thee namely that thou shouldst be rather thought to suffer ill than man to doe ill CHAP. 4. God cannot be compelled 1. IN this sort did I endevour now to finde out the rest as I had already found that what was incorruptible must needs bee better than that which was corruptible and THEE therefore whatsoever thou wert did I acknowledge to bee incorruptible For never yet soule was nor ever shall bee able to thinke upon any thing which may be better than thou who art the soveraigne and the best Good But whereas most truely and certainely that which is incorruptible is to be preferred before what is corruptible like as I did then preferre it I might very well have reached so high in my thoughts as something that should bee better than my God hadst not thou beene incorruptible Where therefore I saw that incorruptible ought to bee preferred before corruptible there ought I to have sought out thee and there to observe Whence evill should come that is even whence corruption comes by which thy substance can by no meanes be infected 2. For Corruption does no waies infect our God by no will by no necessity by no unlookt for chance because he is God and what he wils is good and he himselfe is that Good but to be corrupted is not good Nor all thou O God against thy will constrained to any thing for that thy will is not greater than thy power But greater should it be were thy selfe greater than thy selfe For the Will and Power of God is God himselfe And what chance can surprize thee unlookt for who knowest all things Nor is there any nature of things but thou knowest it And what should wee use more arguments to prove Why that substance which God is should not be corruptible seeing if it were so it should not be God CHAP. 5. Hee pursues his enquirie after the root of sinne 1. AND I sought Whence Evill should be and I sought ill nor did I see that evill which was in this very enquirie of mine I set now before the eyes of my spirit the whole Creation and whatsoever I could discerne of it as the Sea the Earth the Ayre the Starres the Trees the mortall Creatures yea and what-ever else in it wee doe not see as the Firmament of the heaven all the Angels moreover and all the spirituall inhabitants thereof But yet as if all these had beene bodies did my fancy dispose of them in such and such places and I made one great Masse of all thy Creatures distinguished by their severall kindes of bodies both those that were Bodies indeed or which my selfe had feyned instead of Spirits And this Masse I made hugie enough not yet so great as in it selfe it was which I could not come to the knowledge of but as bigge as I thought convenient yet every way finite But thee O Lord I imagined on every part environing and penâ—trating it though every way infinite As if there were supposed to bee a Sea which every where and on every side by a most unmeasurable infinitenesse should bee onely a Sea and that Sea should containe in it some hugie Sponge but yet finite which Sponge must needs bee every where and on every side filled with that unmeasurable Sea So thought I thy whole Creation to bee in it selfe finite filled by thee who art infinite and I said Behold God and behold what God hath created and God is good yea most mightily and incomparably better than all these which God being himselfe good created all them good and see how he environeth and full-fils them all 2. Where is Evill then and from whence and how crept it in hither What is the roote and what the seed of it Or hath it at all no being Why then doe wee feare and beware of that which hath no being Or if we feare it in vaine then surely is that feare evill which in vaine so gores and torments the soule Yea and so much a greater evill by how much that wants of being any thing which wee stand in feare of and yet doe feare Therefore is there some evill thing which we feare or else the very act of fearing is evill Whence is evill therefore seeing God who is good hath created all these things good that is the greater and chiefest Good hath created these lesser goods yea and he creating they created are all good Whence now is evill Or of what did God make it Was there any matter evill and as God formed and ordered it did he leave any thing in it which hee did not convert 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 But why did he so Was â— not able so to turne and chanâ—e the whole lumpe that no evill should have remained in it seeing he is able to do any thing Lastly why would he make any thing at all of that and did not by the same omnipotency rather cause that there should be no such thing at all Or to say troth was it able to be of it selfe against His will Or if that evill matter had beene so from eternity why suffered hee it so to continue so infinite spaces of times past and was pleased so long while after to make something out of it 3. Or if hee were suddenly pleased now to goe about some worke this rather should the Omnipotent have done have caused namely that this evill matter should not at all have beene and that hee himselfe should have beene alone that soveraigne and infinite Good â—â— Or if it had not beene good 〈…〉 who was good should 〈…〉 and create something also that were not good then that evill matter being first taken away and brought unto nothing should he immediately have taken order for some good matter whereof hee might create all things For he should not bee omnipotent if he were not able to create something that were good of it selfe unlesse hee were assisted by that matter which himselfe had not created These thoughts tossed I up and downe in my miserable heart overcharged with biting Cares through the feare of death and though I had not found out the truth yet did the Faith of thy Christ our Lord and Saviour professed in thy Church firmly continue in my heart though in divers particulars verily not yet throughly perfected and swarving from the right Rule of Doctrine yet did not my minde utterly leave it off but every day tooke in more and more of it CHAP. 6. Divinations made by the Mathematicians are vaine 1. BY this time also had I rejected those deceitfull Divinations and impious dotages of the Astrologers Let thine owne mercies out of the most inward bowels of my soule consesse unto thee for this O my God For thou thou altogether for who else is it that cals us backe from the death of all errours but even that Life which knowes not how to dye and that wisedome which enlightens those mindes that need it it selfe needing no light by which the whole world is governed even to the falling away of
bee some corruptible substance which unlesse it were some way or other good it could not be corrupted I perceived therefore and it was made plaine unto me that all things are good which thou hast made nor is there any substance at all which thou hast not made And for that all which thou hast made are not equall therefore are they all good in generall because all good in particular and all together very good because thou our God hast made all things very good CHAP. 13. All created things praise God 1. ANd to thee is there nothing at all evill yea not onely in respect of thee but also not in respect of thy Creatures in generall because there is not any thing which is without thee which hath power to breake in or discompose that Order which thou hast settled But in some particulars of thy Creatures for that some things there bee which so well agree not with some other things they are conceived to be evill whereas those very things sute well enough with some other things and are good yea and in themselves good And all these things which doe not mutually agree one with another doe yet sute well enough with this inferiour part which we cal Earth which hath such a cloudy and windie Region of Ayre hanging over it as is in nature agreeable to it 2. God forbid now that I should ever say that there were no other things extant besides these for should I see nothing but these verily I should went the better And yet even onely for these ought I praise thee 〈◊〉 that thou art to be praised 〈◊〉 things of the 〈◊〉 doe 〈◊〉 Dragons and all 〈…〉 Haile Snow â—ee and 〈◊〉 Wind which fulful thy 〈◊〉 Mountaines and all 〈◊〉 fruitfull Trees and all Cedars Beasts and all Cattell creeping things and flying Fowles Kings of the Earth and all people Princes and all Iudges of the Land Yong men and Maidens Old men and Children let them praise thy Name Seeing also these in heaven praise thee let them praise thee O our God in the heights Let all thy Angels praise thee and all thy Hosts Sunne and Moone all the Starres and Light the Heaven of Heavens and the Waters that be above the Heavens let them praise thy Name I did not now desire better because I had now thought upon them all and that those superior things were better than these inferior things but yet all together better than those superiour by themselves I resolved upon in my bettered judgement CHAP. 14. To a sober minde none of Gods Creatures are displeasing 1. THey are not well in their wits to whom any thing which thou hast created is displeasing no more than I my selfe was when as many things which thou hadst made did not like me And because my soule durst not take distaste at my God it would not suffer that ought should bee accounted thine which displeased it Hence fell it upon the opinion of two substances and no rest did it take but talkt idlie And turning from thence it fancied a God to it selfe which tooke up infinite measures of all places and him did it thinke to be thee and him it placed in its heart so that it became once againe the Temple of its own Idoll which was to thee so abominable But after thou hadst refreshed my head I not knowing of it and hadst shut up mine eyes that they should no more behold vanity I began to bee quieted a little within my selfe and my mad Fit was got asleepe out of which I awaked in thee and then discerned thee to be infinite another manner of way But this sight was not derived from any power of my flesh CHAP. 15. How there is truth and falshood in the Creatures 1. ANd I looked after this upon other things and I saw how they owed their being to thee and that all finite things are in thee but in a different manner not as in their proper place but because thou containest all things in thine hand of truth All things are true so farre forth as they have a being nor is there any falshood unlesse when a thing is thought to bee which is not And I marked how that all things did agree respectively not to their places onely but to their seasons also And that thou who onely art eternall didst not beginne to worke after innumerable spaces of times spent for that all spaces of times both those which are passed already and those which are to passe hereafter should neither goe nor come but by thee who art still working and still remaining CHAP. 16. All things are good though to some things not fit 1. ANd I both found and tryed it to bee no wonder that the same bread is lothsome to a distempered palate which is pleasant to a sound one and that to sore eyes that light is offensive which to the cleere is delightfull and that thy Iustice gives disgust unto the wicked yet not so much but the Viper and smallest vermine which thou hast created good but are fit enough to these inferiour portions of thy Creatures to which these very wicked are also fit and that so much the more fit by how much they be unlike thee but so much liker the superiour Creatures by how neerer resembling thee And I enquired what this same Iniquity should be But I found it not to bee a substance but a swarving meerely of the will crookt quite away from thee O God who art the supreme substance towards these lower things which casts abroad its inward corruption and swels outwardly CHAP. 17. What things hinder us of Gods knowledge 1. AND I wondred not a little that I was now come to love thee and no Phantasme instead of thee nor did I delay to enjoy my God but was ravisht to thee by thine owne beauty and yet by and by I violently fell off againe even by mine owne weight rushing with sorrow enough upon these inferiour things This weight I spake of was my old fleshly customes Yet had I still a remembrance of thee nor did I any way doubt that thou wert he to whom I ought to cleave but yet I was not the partie fit to cleave unto thee for that the body which is corrupted presseth downe the soule and the earthly tabernable weigheth downe the minde that museth upon many things And most certaine I was that thy invisible workes from the creation of the world are cleerely seene being understood by the things that are made even thy eternall power and Godhead 2. For studying now by what reasons to make good the beauty of corporeall things eyther celestiall or terrestriall and what proofe I had at hand solidly to passe sentence upon these mutable things in pronouncing This ought to be thus and this must be so plodding I say on this upon what ground namely I ought to judge seeing I did thus judge I had by this time found the unchangeable and true eternity of truth residing upon this
changeable mind of mine And thus by degrees passing from bodies to the soule which makes use of the senses of the body to perceive by and from thence to its inner faculties unto which the senses of the body are to represent their outward objects and so forward as farre as the irrationall creatures are able to goe Thence againe passed I on to the Reasoning facultie unto which whatever is received from the senses of the body is referred to bee judged 2. This also finding it selfe to be variable in me betooke it selfe towards its owne understanding drawing away my thoughts from my old fleshly custome and withdrawing it selfe from those confused multitudes of phantasies which contradict one another that so it might find out that light which it now had a glimpse of presently upon the finding whereof without all further doubting it cryed out that what was unchangeable was to be preferred before what was changeable by which it had come to know that unchangeable Which unlesse by some meanes or other it had knowne it could never have had sure ground for the preferring of it before the Changeable nor have come so high as that which is set within hence of the twinckling eye-sight And now came I to have a sight of those invisible things of thee which are understood by those things which are made But I was not able to fixe mine eye long upon them but my infirmity being beaten backe againe I was turned to my wonted fancies carrying along with me no more but a liking of those new thoughts in my memory and an appetite as it were to the meat I had smelt which as yet I was not able to eate of CHAP. 18. Onely Christ is the way to Salvation 1. THen set I my selfe to seeke a meanes of recovering so much strength as should bee sufficient to enjoy thee but I could not finde it untill I embraced that Mediator betwixt God and man the Man Iesus Christ who is over all God blessed for evermore then calling unto me and saying I am the way the truth and the life who mingled that food which I was unable to take his owne flesh unto ouâ— flesh For the Word was made flesh that by thy wisedome by which thou createdst â— things hee might sackle oâ—â— infancy For I not yet humbled enough did not appreheâ— my Lord Iesus Christ who haâ— made himselfe humble nor did I yet know what lesson that infirmity of his would teach us For thy Word the eternall truth being so highly exalted above the highest of thy Creatures reaches up those that were cast downe unto it selfe having here below built for it selfe a lowly Cottage of our clay by which hee intended to abase from the height of their owne imaginations those that were to be cast downe that so hee might bring them about unto himselfe allaying the swelling of their pride and cherishing of their love To the end they might goe on no further in the confidence of themselves but might finde their owne weaknesse rather seeing the Divinity it selfe enfeebled at our feete by taking our fleshly garment upon him that so being weary at length they might cast downe their selves selves upon it and that rising might raise up them together with it CHAP. 19. What he thought of Christs incarnation 1. BVt I had before farre other thoughts conceiving onely of my Lord Christ as of a man of excellent wisedome whom no man could bee equalled unto and in this regard especially for that being so wonderfully borne of a Virgine giving us an example how to contemne worldly things for the obtaining of immortality that divine care of his seemed to have deserved so much authority as to be the Master over us But what Mystery this might carry with it The Word was made flesh I could not so much as imagine Thus much I collected out of what is come to us being written of him how that he did eate and drinke and sleepe and walkt and rejoyced in spirit and was heavy and preached that flesh alone did not cleave unto thy Word but our humane soule and minde also with it Every body knowes thus much that knoweth the unchangeablenesse of thy Word which I my selfe now knew as well as I could nor did I at all make any doubt of it For for him to move the limbes of his body by his will and other-whiles not to move them now to be stirred by some affection and at another time not to bee affected now to deliver wise sentences and another while to keepe silence all these be properties of a soule and mind that are mutable And should these things be falsely written of him all the rest verily would be in suspicion of being a lye nor should there be left at all in those Bookes any safenesse of Faith for mankinde 2. Because therefore none but Truths are there written I even then acknowledged a perfect man to bee in Christ Not the body of a man onely a sensitive soule without a rationall but a very man whom not onely for his being a person of Truth but for a certaine extraordinary excellency of humane nature that was in him I judged worthy to be preferred before all other men As for Alipius hee imagined the Catholikes to have beleeved God to be so cloathed with flesh that besides God and flesh there was no soule at all in Christ and that they had preached there was no soule of man in him And because hee was verily perswaded that those Actions which were recorded of him could not bee performed but by a vitall and a rationall Creature he was the slower therefore in moving towards the Christian Faith But understanding afterwards that this was the errour of the Apollinarian Heretikes hee was better pleased with the Catholike faith and better complyed with it But something later it was I confesse ere I learned how in this sentence The Word was made flesh the Catholike Truth could be cleered of the heresie of Photinus For the confuting of the Heretikes makes the opinion of thy Church more eminent and the Tenet which the sound doctrine maintaineth For there must be also Heresies that they which are approved may bee made manifest among the weake CHAP. 20. Of divers Bookes of the Platonists 1. BVt having read as then these Bookes of the Platonists having once gotten the hint from them and falling upon the search of incorporeall truth I came to get a sight of these invisible things of thine which are understood by those things which are made and being put backe againe I perceived how that the darknesse of mine own mind was it which so hindred my contemplation as that I was not suffered to bee certaine That thou were both infinite and yet not diffused over finite and infinite places and that thou art truely the same that thou art ever nor in any part nor by any motion otherwise at one time than at another and that all other things
I had entered against my selfe untill it came to a good issue but which way God thou knowest I doe not Onely I was for the time most soberly madde and I dyed vitally sensible enough what piece of misery for the present I now was but utterly ignorant how good I shortly was to grow Into that Garden went I and Alipius followed mee foot by foot for I had no secret retiring place if hee were neere or when did he ever forsake me when he perceiv'd me to be ill disposed Downe wee sate us as farre yet from the house as possibly we could I fretted in the spirit angry at my selfe with a most tempestuous indignation for that I went not about to make my peace and league with thee my God which all my bones cryed out upon me to doe extolling it to the very skies A businesse it is which we goe not about carried unto in Shippes or Chariots or upon our own legges no not so small a part of the way to it as I had comen from the house into that place where wee were now sitting 3. For not to goe towards onely but to arrive fully at that place required no more but the Will to goe to it but yet to Will it resolutely and throughly not to stagger and tumble downe an halfe wounded Will now on this side and anon on that side setting the part advancing it selfe to struggle with another part that is a falling Finally in these vehement passions of my delay many of those things performed I with my body which men sometimes would doe but cannot if either they have not the limbs to doe them withall or if those limbs bee bound with cords weakened with infirmity or be any other waies hindered If I teare my selfe by the haire beate my forehead if locking my fingers one within another I beclasped my knee all this I did because I would But I might have willed it and yet not have done it if so be the motion of my limbs had not beene pliable enough to have performed it So many things therefore I now did at such time as the Will was not all one with the Power and something on the other side I then did not which did incomparably more affect mee with pleasure which yet so soone as I had the Will to doe I had the Power also because so soone as ever I willed I willed it throughly for at such a time the Power is all one with the Will and the willing is now the doing and yet was not the thing done And more easily did my body obey the weakest willing of my soules in the moving of its limbs at her beck then my soule had obeyed its selfe in this point of her great contentment which was to receive perfection in the Will alone CHAP. 9. Why the soule is so slow to goodnesse 1. VVHence now is this monster and to what purpose Let thy mercy enlighten mee that I may put this question if so be those concealed anguishes which men feele and those most undiscoverable pangs of contrition of the sonnes of Adam may perhaps afford mee a right answer Whence is this monster and to what end The soule commands the body and is presently obeyed the soule commands it selfe and is resisted The soule gives the word commanding the hand to be moved and such readinesse there is that the instant of command is scarcely to be discerned from the moment of execution Yet the soule is the soule whereas the hand is of the body The soule commands that the soule would Will a thing nor is the soule another thing from the soule and yet obeyes it not the command Whence is this monster and to what purpose The soule I say commands that it selfe would Will a thing which never would give the command unlesse it willed it yet is not that done which it commanded 2. But it willeth not entirely therefore doth it neither command entirely For so farre forth it commandeth as it willeth and so farre forth is not the thing done which is commanded as it willeth it not Because the Will commandeth that there be a Will not another will but the same Because verily it doth not command fully therefore is not the thing done which it commanded For were the willing full it would never command there should be a Willing because that Willing was extant before T is therefore no monster partly to Will and partly to Nill onely an infirmity of the soule it is that it being overloaded with ill custome cannot entirely rise up together though supported by Verity Hence is it that there be two Wills for that one of them is not entire and the one is supplied with that wherein the other is defective CHAP. 10. The will of man is various 1. LEt them perish out of thy sight O GOD as those vaine bablers and those seducers of the soule doe perish who when as they did observe that there were two Wills in the act of deliberating affirmed thereupon that there are two kindes of natures of two kinds of soules one good and the other bad Themselves are truly bad when as they beleeve these bad opinions and the same men shall then become good when they shall come to beleeve true opinions and shall consent unto the true that the Apostle may say unto them yee were sometimes darkenesse but now are ye light in the Lord. But these fellowes would be light indeed not in the Lord but in themselves imagining the nature of the soule to bee the same that God is Thus are they made more grosse darkenesse for that they went backe farther from thee through a horrid arrogancie from thee the true light that enlightneth every man that cometh into this world Take heed what you say and blush for shame draw neere unto him and be enlightned and your faces shall not bee ashamed My selfe when sometime I deliberated upon serving of the Lord my God I had long purposed it was I my selfe who willed it and I my selfe who nilled it I was I my selfe I neither willed entirely nor yet nilled entirely Therefore was I at strife with my selfe and ruinated by mine owne selfe Which ruining befell me much against my minde nor yet shewed it forth the nature of another mans minde but the punishment of mine owne I therefore my selfe was not the causer of it but the sinne that dwelt in me and that as a punishment of that farre spreading sinne of Adam whose sonne I was 2. For if there bee so many contrary natures in man as there be Wills resisting one another there shall not now be two natures alone but many Suppose a man should deliberate with himselfe whether he should goe to their Conventicle or goe see a Play presently these Manichees cry out Behold here are 2 natures one good which leades this way and another bad which drawes that way For whence else is this mammering of the wills thus thwarting one another But I answer that
obseruance perseuered so long in patience and meekenes that shee of her owne accord discouered vnto her sonne the tales that the maid-seruants had carried be tweene them whereby the peace of the house had been disturbed betwixt her and her daughter-in-law requiring him to giue them correction for it When he therefore both out of obedience to his mother and out of a Core to the well-ordering of his family and to prouide withall for the concord of his people had with stripes corrected the seruants thus bewrayed according to the pleasure of her that had reueal'd it her selfe also added this promise that cuery one should looke for the like reward at her hands whosoeuer to picke a thank by it should speake any ill of her daughter-in-law which none being so hardy afterwards as to doe they liued euer after with a most memorable sweetnesse of mutuall courtesies This great gift thou bestowedst also O God my mercie vpon that good hand maid of thine out of whose wombe thou broughtest mee namely that she euer did where shee wasable carry herselfe so peace fully betweene any parties that were at difference and discorded as that after shee had on both sides heard many a bitter word such as swelling and indigested choler vses to breake forth into whenas vnto a present friend the ill-brookt heart-burning at an enemy is with many a byting tittle-tattle breathed vp againe shee neuer for all that would discouer more of the one party vnto the other then what might further their reconcilement 4. This vertue might seeme a small one vnto mee if to my griefe I had not had experience of innumerable companies I know not by what horrible infection or sinne spreading farre and neere who vsed not onely to discouer the speeches of enemies angred on both sides to one another but to adde withall some things that were neuer spoken whereas on the contrary it ought to bee esteemed a meane vertue in a man to forbeare meerely to procure or increase ill will amongst people by ill speaking vnlesse hee studie withall how to quench it by making the best of euery thing And such a one was shee thy selfe being her most intimate Master teaching her in the schoole of her brest Finally her owne husband now towards the latter end of his life did shee gaine vnto Thee hauing now no more cause to complayne of those things in him when hee was once baptized which she had formerly borne withall before hee was conuerted 5. Yea shee was also the seruant of thy seruants and whosoeuer of them knew her did both commend much in her and honored and loued Thee for that they might well perceiue thy selfe to bee within the heart of her holy conuersation the fruites of it being witnesses For shee had beene The wife of one man shee had repayed the duty shee ought vnto her parents shee had gouerned her house very religiously for good workes she had a good report shee had brought vp her childen so often trauailing in birth of them againe as shee saw them swaruing from thee Lastly of all of vs thy seruants O Lord whom for this fauour receiued thou sufferest thus to speake vs who before her sleeping in thee liued in society together hauing first receiued the grace of thy baptisme did shee so take the care of as if she had beene the mother to vs all being withall so seruiceable as if she had beene the daughter to vs all CHAP. 10. Of a confernce had with his mother about the Kingdome of Heauen 1. THe day now approaching that shee was to depart this life which day thou well knewest though we were not aware of it fell out thy selfe as I beleeue by thine owne secret wayes so casting it that shee and I should stand all alone together leaning in a certaine window which lookt into the garden of the house where wee now lay at Ostia where being sequestred from company after the weary somenesse of a long iourney wee were prouiding our selues for a sea-voyage into our owne country There conferred wee hand to hand very sweetely and forgetting those things which are behinds wee reached forth vnto those things which are before wee did betwixt our selues seeke at that Present Truth which thou art in what manner the eternall life of the Saints was to bee which eye hath not seene nor eare heard nor hath it entred into the heart of man But yet wee gaped with the mouth of our heart after those vpper streames of that Fountaine which is before thee that being besprinckled with it according to our capacity wee might in some sort meditate vpon so high a mystery 2. And when our discourse was once come vnto that poynt that the highest pleasure of the carnall sences and that in the brightest beame of corporall lightsomenesse was in respect of the sweetenesse of that life not onely not worthy of comparison but not so much as of mention wee chering vp our selues with a more burning affection towards that did by degrees course ouer all these corporeals that is to say the heauen it selfe from whence both Sunne and Moone and starres doe shine vpon this earth yea wee soared higher yet by inward musing and discourse vpon Thee and by admyring of thy workes And last of all wee came to our owne soules which wee presently went beyond that wee might aduance as high as that Region of neuer-wasting plenty where Thou feedest Israel for euer with the foode of Trueth and where life is that Wisedome by which all these things are made and which haue beene and which are to come And this Wisedome is not made but it is at this present as it hath euer beene and so shall it euer bee seeing that the Termes to haue beene and to be hereafter are not at all in it but to Be now for that it is eternall For to haue beene and to be is not eternall And while we were thus discoursing and streyning our selues after it we arriued to a little touch of it with the whole stroake of our heart and we sighed and euen there wee left behinde vs the first fruits of our spirits enchayned vnto it returning from these thoughts to vocall expressions of our mouth where words are both begun and finished And what can bee like vnto thy Word our Lord who remaines in himselfe for euer without becomming aged and yet renewing all things 3. Wee said therefore If to any man the tumults of the flesh bee silenced let these fancies of the earth and waters and ayre be silenced also yea let the Poles of heauen be silent also let his owne soule likewise keepe silence yea let it surmount it selfe not so much as thinking vpon it selfe Let all dreames and imaginary reuelations be silenced euery tongue and euery signe and whatsoeuer is made by passing from one degree vnto another if vnto any man it can bee altogether silent and that because if any man can hearken vnto them all these will say vnto him We
kindly to mee call'd mee a dutyfull Child remembring with great affection of loue how that shee neuer heard any harsh word or reproachfull tearme to come out of my mouth against her But for all this O my God that madest vs both what comparison is there betwixt that honour that I performe to her and that carefull painefulnesse of hers to mee Because therefore I was left thus destitute of so great a comfort was my very soule wounded yea and my life torne in pieces as it were which had beene made one out of hers and mine together 3 That boy now being stilled from weeping Euodius tooke vp the Psalter and began to sing the whole house answering him the 101 Psalme I will sing of mercy and iudgement vnto thee O Lord. But when it was once heard what we were a doing there came together very many Brethren and religious women and whilest they whose office it was were as the manner is taking order for the buriall my selfe in a part of the house where most conueniently I could together with those who thought it not fit to leaue mee discoursed vpon something which I thought fittest for the time by applying of which playster of truth did I asswage that inward torment knowne onely vnto thy selfe though not by them perceiued who very attentiuely listning vnto me conceiued me to be without all sense of sorrow But in thy eares where none of them ouer heard me did I blame the weakenesse of my passion and refraine my flood of grieuing which giuing way a little vnto mee did for all that breake forth with his wonted violence vpon me though not so far as to burst out into teares nor to any great change of countenance yet know I well enough what I kept downe in my heart And for that it very much offended me that these human respects had such power ouer mee which must in their due order and out of the Fatality of our naturall condition of necessity come to passe I condoled mine owne sorrow with a new grieuing being by this meanes afflicted with a double sorrow 4. And behold when as the Corps was carried to the Burial we both went returned without teares For neither in those Prayers which we powred forth vnto Thee whenas the Sacrifice of our Redemption was offered vp vnto thee for her the Corps standing by the Graues side before it was put into the ground as the manner there is did I so much as shed a teare all the Prayer time yet was I most grieuously sad in secrete and with a troubled minde did I begge of thee so well as I could that thou wouldst mitigate my sorrow which for all that thou diddest not recommending I beleeue vnto my memory by this one experiment That the too strict bond of all humane conuersation is much preiudiciall vnto that soule which now feeds vpon thy not deceiuing Word It would I thought doe me some good to goe and bathe my selfe and that because I had heard the Bath to take his name from the Greekes calling of it 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 for that it driues sadnesse out of the minde And this I also confesse vnto thy mercy O father of the fatherlesse because that after I had bathed I was the same man I was before and that the bitternesse of my sorrow could not bee swette out of my heart 5. I fell to sleepe vpon it and vpon my waking I found my griefe to bee not a little abated Wherevpon lying in my bed alone there came to my mind those true verses of thy Ambrose For thou art the God that all things doest create Who know'st the Heauens to moderate And cloath'st the day with beautious light With benefit of sleepe the night Which may our weakned sinewes make Able new paynes to vndertake And all our tyred minds well ease And our distempered griefes appease And then againe by little and little as feelingly as before calling to mind thy handmayd her deuout and holy conuersation towards Thee her pleasing and most obseruant behauiour towards Vs of which too suddenly I was now depriued it gaue mee some content to weepein thy sight both concerning her and for her concerning my selfe and for my selfe And I gaue way to these teares which I before restreined to ouer flow as much as they desired laying them for a pillow vnder my heart and resting my selfe vpon them for there were thy eares and not the eares of man who would haue scornefully interpreted this my weeping 6. But now in writing I confesse it vnto thee O Lord read it who will and interpret it how he will and if hee finds me to haue offended in bewailing my mother so small a portion of an houre that mother I say now dead and departed from mine eyes who had so many yeeres wept for me that I might liue in thine eyes let him not deride me but if he be a man of any great charity let him rather weepe for my sinnes vnto Thee the Father of all the brethren of thy Christ CHAP. 13. Hee prayeth for his dead mother 1. BVt my heart now cured of that wound for which it might bee blamed for a carnall kinde of affection I powre out vnto Thee O our God in behalfe of that handmayd of thine a farre different kind of teares such as flowed from a broken spirit out of a serious consideration of the danger of euery soule that dyeth in Adam And notwithstanding she for her part being quickened in Christ euen before her dissolution from the flesh had so liued that there is cause to prayse Thy name both for her sayth and conuersation yet dare I not say for all this that from the time of thy regenerating her by baptisme there issued not from her mouth any one word or other against thy commandement Thy Sonne who is Truth hath pronounc'd it Whosoeuer shall say vnto his brother Thou foole shall bee in danger of Hell fire In so much as woe bee vnto the most commendable life of men if laying aside thy mercy thou shouldest rigorously examine it But because thou too narrowly inquiredst not after sinnes wee assuredly hope to finde some place of pardon with thee But whosoeuer stands to reckon vp his owne Merits vnto Thee what reckons hee vp vnto thee but thine owne gifts Oh that men would know thēselues to be but men that he that glorieth would glory in the Lord. 2. I therefore O my praise and my life thou God of my heart laying aside for a while her good deedes for which with reioycing I giue thanks vnto thee doe now beseech thee for the sinnes of my mother Hearken vnto mee by him I intreate thee that is the true medicine of our wounds who hung vpon the tree and now sitting at thy right hand maketh intercession for vs. I know that shee hath doalt mercifully and to haue from her very heart forgiuen those that trespassed against her doe thou also
forgiue her trespasses what-euer shee hath drawne vpon her selfe in so many yeeres since her cleansing by the water of baptisme forgiue her Lord forgiue her I beseech thee enter not into iudgement with her but let thy mercy bee exalted aboue thy iustice and that because thy words are true and thou hast promised mercy vnto the mercifull which that people might bee is thy gift to them who wilt haue mercy on whome thou wilt haue mercy and wilt shew deeds of mercy vnto whom thou hast been mercifully inclined And I now beleeue that thou hast already done what I request of thee but take in good part O Lord these voluntary petitions of my mouth 3. For shee the day of her dissolution being at hand tooke no thought to haue her body sumptuously wound vp or imbalmed with spices nor was she ambitious of any choyce monument or cared to bee buried in her owne Country These things shee gaue vs no command for but desired only to haue her name commemorated at thy Altar which shee had serued without intermission of one day from whence she knew that holy Sacrifice to bee dispensed by which that Hand-writing that was against vs is blotted out through which Sacrifice the Enemy was triumphed ouer he who summing vp our offences and seeking for something to lay to our charge sound nothing in Him in whom wee are conquerours Who shall restore vnto him his innocent blood who shall repay him the price with which hee bought vs and so bee able to take vs out of his hands vnto the Sacrament of which price of our redemption this handmaid of thine had bound her owne soule by the bond of fayth 4. Let none plucke her away from thy protection let neyther the Lyon nor the Dragon interpose himselfe by force or fraud For shee will not answere that shee owes nothing lest she bee disprooued and gotten the better of by her crafty accuser but she will answer how that her sins are forgiuen her by him vnto whome none is able to repay that price which hee layd downe for vs who owed nothing Let her rest therefore in peace together with her husband before or after whom shee had neuer any whom shee obeyed through patience bringing forth fruit vnto thee that shee might winne him vnto thee And inspire O Lord my God inspire thy seruants my brethren thy sonnes my masters whom with voyce and heart and pen I serue that so many of them as shall reade these Confessions may at thy Altar remember Monica thy handmayd together with Patricius her sometimes husband by whose bodies thou broughtest mee into this life though how I know not May they with deuout affection be mindefull of these parents of mine in this transitory light and of my brethren that are vnder thee our Father in our Catholicke Mother and of those who are to be my fellow Citizens in that eternall Ierusalem which thy people here in their pilgrimage so sigh after euen from their birth vnto their returne thither That so what my mother in her last words desired of me may the more plentifully bee performed for her in the prayers of many as well by meanes of my Confessions as of my prayers The end of the Ninth Booke Saint Agustines Confessions The tenth Booke CHAP. 1. The Confessions of the heart 1 LEt mee know Thee O Lord who knowest mee let me know thee as I am knowne of thee O thou the vertue of my soule make thy entrance into it and so fit it for thy selfe that thou mayst haue and hold it without spotte or wrinkle This is my hope and therefore doe I now speake and in this hope doe I reioyce when at all I reioyce As for other things of this life they deserue so much the lesse to bee lamented by how much the more wee doe lament them and againe so much the more to bee lamented by how much the lesse we doe lament them For behold thou hast loued truth and hee that does so commeth to the light This will I publish before thee in the confession of my heart and in my writing before many witnesses CHAP. 2. Secret things are knowne to God 1. ANd from thee O Lord vnto whose eyes the bottome of mans Conscience is layd bare what can bee hidden in mee though I would not confesse it For so should I hide thee from mee not my selfe from thee But now for that my groaning is witnesse for mee that I am displeased with my selfe thou shinest out vnto mee and art pleasing to me yea desired and beloued of mee and I will bee ashamed of my selfe yea I will renounce mine owne selfe and make choyce of thee and neuer may I please thee nor my selfe but in thee 2. Vnto thee therefore O Lord am I layd open what euer I am and with what fruit I may Confesse vnto thee I haue before spoken Nor doe I it with words and speeches of the body but with the expressions of my very soule and the crye of my thoughts which thy care onely vnderstandeth For when I am wicked then to confesse vnto thee is no other thing but to displease my selfe but when I am well giuen to confesse vnto thee is then no other thing but not to attribute this goodnesse vnto my selfe because it is thou O Lord that blessest the Iust but first thou iustifiest him being wicked My Confession therefore O my God in thy sight is made vnto thee priuately and yet not priuately for in respect of noyse it is silent but yet it cryes alowd in respect of my affection For neither doe I vtter any thing that is right vnto men which thy selfe hath not before heard from mee nor caust thou heare any such thing from me which thy selfe hath not first sayd vnto me CHAP. 3. The Confession of our ill deeds what it helpes vs. 1. VVHat therefore haue I to doe with men that they should heare my Confessions as if they could cure all my infirmities A curious people to pry into another mans life but slothfull enough to amend their owne Why doe they desire to heare from me what I am who will not heare from thee what themselues are And how know they whenas they heare my selfe confessing of myselfe whether I say true or no seeing none knowes what is in man but the spirit of man which is in him But if they heare from thee any thing concerning themselues they cannot say The Lord lyeth For what els is it from thee to heare of themselues but to know themselues and who is hee that knowing himselfe can say It is false vnlesse himselfe lyes But because Charity beleeueth all things that is to say amongst those whom by knitting vnto it selfe it maketh one I therefore O Lord doe so also confesse vnto thee as that men may heare to whom though I be not able to demonstrate whether I confesse truely yet giue they credit vnto mee whose eares charitie hath set
in my flesh as that these false visions perswade me vnto that when I am asleepe which true visions cannot doe when I am awake Am I not my selfe at that time O Lord my God And is there yet so much difference betwixt my selfe and my selfe in that moment wherein I passe from waking to sleeping or returne from sleeping vnto waking 2. Where is my reason at that time by which my mind when it is a wake resisteth such suggestions as these at which time should the things themselues presse in vpon mee yet would my resolution re maine vnshaken Is my reason clozed vp together with mine eyes or is it lull'd asleepe with the sences of my body But whence then comes it to posse that wee so often euen in our sleepe make such resistance and being mindefull of our purpose and remaine most chastly in it wee yeeld no assent vnto such enticements And yet so much difference there is as that when any thing hath otherwise hapned in our sleepe wee vpon our waking returne to peace of conscience by the distance of time discouering that it was not wee that did it notwithstanding wee bee sorry that there is something someway or other done in vs. Is not thy hand able O God almighty to cure all the discases of my soule and with a more abundant measure of thy grace also to quench the lasciuious motions of my sleepe 3. Thou shalt increase O Lord thy graces more and more vpon mee that my soule may follow my selfe home to thee wholy freed of that birdâ—ly me of concupiscence that it may no longer rebell against it selfe nor may in dreames not onely not commit these adult erous vncleannesses by meanes of these sensuall Images procuring pollution of the flesh but that it may not so much as once consent vnto them For to hinder that no such fancy no not so much as should neede any checke to restraine it doe its pleasure in the chast affection of those that sleepe not in this life onely but euen in this age of youth is not hard for the Almighty to doe who is able to doe aboue all that wee aske or thinke And for this time in what case I yet am in this kind of naughtinesse haue I confessed vnto my good Lord reioycing with trembling in that grace which thou hast already giuen me and bemoaning my selfe for that wherein I am still vnperfect well hoping that thou wilt one day perfect thy mercies in mee euen vnto a fulnesse of peace which both my outward and inward man shall at that time enioy with thee whenas death shall be swallowed vp in victory CHAP. 31. The temptation of eating and drinking 1. THere is another euill of the day which I wish were sufficient vnto it that we are fayne by eating and drinking to repaire the daily decayes of our body vntill such time as thou destroyest both belly and meat whenas thou shalt kill this emptinesse of mine with a wonderfull fulnesse and shalt cloath this incorruptible with an eternall incorruption Butin this life euen necessity is sweete vnto me against which swetnes do I fight lest I should bee beguiled by it yea a daily warre doe I make bringing my body into subiection by my fastings the pinchings whereof are by the pleasure I take in it expelled Hunger Thirst verily are painefull they burne vp and kill like a feaver vnlesse the physicke of nourishments relieue vs. Which for that it is readily to bee had out of the comfort wee receiue by thy gifts with which both land and water and ayre serue our necessities are our calamities termed our delicacies Thus much hast thou taught mee that I am to take my meat as sparingly as I would doe my Physicke 2. But in the while I am passing from the pinching of emptynesse vnto the content of a competent replenishing does that snare of lickorishnesse euen in the very passage lie in ambush for mee For that passage betweene is a kinde of pleasure nor is there any other way to passe by but that which necessity constraines vs to goe by And whereas health is the cause of our eating and drinking there will a dangerous lickorishnesse goes a-long with health like a handmayd yea endeauours oftentimes so to goe before it as that I eate that for my tooths sake which I eyther say I doe or desire to doe for my healths sake Nor is there the same moderation in both for that which is enough in respect of health is nothing neere enough in respect of lickorishnesse yea very vncertaine it is oftentimes whether the necessary care of my body still requires sustenance or whether a voluptuous deceiueablenesse of Epicurisme supplies lust with maintenance And for that this case is vncertaine does my vnhappy soule reioyce prouides it thereby of a protection of excuse reioycing for that it cannot now appeare what may bee sufficient for health that so vnder the cloake of health it may disguise the matter of Epicurisme 3. These enticements doe I endeauour to resist dayly yea I call thy right hand to help me and to thee doe I referre my perplexities for that I am resolued of no counsell as yet whereby to effect it I heare the voyce of my God commanding Let not your hearts bee ouercharged with surfeting and drunkennesse As for drunkennesse I am farre enough from it and thou wilt haue mercy vpon mee that it may neuer come neere mee But full-feeding hath many a time stolne vpon thy seruant but thou wilt haue mercy vpon mee that it may hereafter bee put farre from mee for no man can bee temperate vnlesse thou giue it Many things thou vouchsafest vnto vs which wee pray for and what good thing soeuer wee haue receiued before wee pray from thee haue we receiued it yea to this end haue wee already receiued it that wee might acknowledge so much afterwards Drunkard was I neuer but I haue knowne many a drunkard made a sober man by thee Thy doing therefore it is that such should bee kept from being drunkards hereafter who haue not beene that way faulty heeretofore as from thee it also comes that those should not continue faulty for euer who haue beene giuen to that vice heretofore yea from thee it likewise proceedes that both these parties should take notice from whom all this proceeded 4. I heard also another voyce of thine Goe not after thine owne lusts and from thine owne pleasures turne away thy face Yea by thy fauour haue I heard this saying likewise which I haue much delighted in Neyther if wee eate are wee the better neyther if wee eate not are we the worse which is to say that neythes shall this thing makes me rich nor that miserable Also another voyce of thine haue I heard For I haue learned in whatsoeuer state I am therewith to be content and I know how to abound and how to suffer neede I can doe all things through Christ that
thee for it yet is our knowledge in comparison of thine but meere ignorance CHAP. 5. How the world was made of nothing 1. IN the beginning God made Heauen and Earth But how didst thou make them and what Engine hadst thou to worke all this vast fabrick of thine For thou wentest not about it like a fleshly artificer who shaping one body by another purposes according to the discretion of his minde to cast it into such a figure as in his fancy hee seeth fittest by his inward eye But whence should hee bee able to doe all this vnlesse thou hadst made him that fancy and he puts a figure vpon some Materiall that had existence before suppose clay or stone or wood or gold or other thing but whence should these materials haue their being hadst not thou appoynted it them T is thou that madest the Artificer his body thou that gauest a soule to direct his limbs thou madest the stuffe of which he makes any thing thou madest the apprehension whereby he takes his art by which he sees in himselfe what he hath to doe Thou gauest him the Sences of his body which being his Interpreters hee may from his mind vnto his stuffe conueigh that figure which hee is now a working which is to signifie vnto his minde againe what is done already that the minde vpon it may aske aduice of its President truth whether it bee well done or no. Let all these things prayse thee the Creator of these all 2. But yet which way doest thou make them how O God didst thou make heauen and earth Verily neyther in the heauen nor on the earth stoodest thou when thou madest heauen and earth no nor yet in the ayre or waters seeing these also belong vnto the heauen and the earth Nor yet standing in the whole world together didst thou make that whole world because there was no place where to make it before it was made that it might haue a Being Nor didst thou hold any thing in thy hand whereof to make this heauen and earth For how shouldst thou come by that which thy selfe hadst not made For what hath any Being but onely because thou art Therefore thou spakest and they were made and in thy Word thou madest them CHAP. 6. He disputes curiously what manner of Word the World was created by BVt how didst thou speake after the same way that the voyce came out of a Cloud saying This is my beloued Sonne As for that voyce it was vttered and passed away had a beginning and ending the sillables made a sound and so passed ouer the second after the first the third after the second and so forth in order vntill the last came after all the rest and silence after the last By which most cleare and plaine it is that the motion of a Creature expressed it performing thy eternall Will in it it selfe being but temporall And these words of thine thus made to serue for the time did the outward care giue notice of vnto the intelligent soule whose inward eare lay listening to thy eternall Word But whenas this latter had compared these words thus sounding within a proportion of time with that eternall Word of thine which is in the Silence it sayd This Word is far another frō that a very far different Word these words are far beneath me nay they are not at all because they flee and passe away but the Word of God is farre aboue me and abides for euer 2. If therefore in sounding passing words thou spakest that heauen and earth should bee made and that way didst create heauen and earth then was there a corporeal creature euen before heauen and earth by whose motions measured by time that voyce tooke his course in time But there was not any creature before heauen and earth or if there were surely then thou didst without such a passing voyce create that whereof thou mightest make this passing voyce by which thou wert to say the word Let the heauen and the earth be made For whatsoeuer that were of which such a voyce were to be made vnlesse by thy selfe it were made it should not at all haue any being That a body therefore might be made by which these words might be made by what word of thine was it commanded CHAP. 7. The Sonne of God is the Word coeternall with the Father 1. THou callest vs therfore to vnderstand the word who is God with thee God which word is spoken vnto all eternity and in it are all things spoken vnto euerlasting For neuer is that finished which was spoken or any other thing spoken after it that so all may come to bee spoken but all are spoken at once and vnto euerlasting For otherwise there should be time and alteration and no true eternity no true immortality Thus much I know O my God thankes to thee therefore This I know as I confesse to thee O Lord yea hee knowes and blesses thee as I doe whoeuer is not vnthankfull to thy assured Veritie 2. Wee know Lord wee know that in as much as any thing is not now what sometimes it hath beene or is now what heretofore it hath not beene so farre forth it is borne and dyes Nothing therefore of thy Word doeth retyre and come in place againe because it is truely immortall and eternall And therefore vnto thy Word coeternal vnto thy selfe thou dost once and for euer say all that thou dost say and it is made whateuer thou sayest shall bee made Nor doest thou make it otherwise then by saying and yet are not all things made together or euerlasting which so thou makest by saying CHAP. 8. The Word of God is our teacher in all 1. VVHy I beseech thee O Lord my God is this so Verily I see it after afort but how to expresse it I know not vnlesse thus it be namely that whatsoeuer begins to bee and leaues off to bee beginnes then and leaues off then when in thy eternall reason it is resolued that it ought to haue begun or left off in which Reason nothing does eyther beginne or leaue off That Reason is thy Word which is also the Beginning the same that likewise speakes vnto vs. Thus much sayd it in the Gospell by our Lords humanity and so much sounded outwardly in the eares of men to the intent it might be beleeued and sought for inwardly and found in the eternall verity where that good and onely Master taught all his Disciples There Lord heare I thy voyce speaking vnto mee because hee there speakes vnto vs who teacheth vs but he that doeth not teach vs though hee does speake yet to vs hee speaketh not 2. And who now is able to teach vs but the vnalterable Truth seeing that when wee receiue any admonishment from a mutable creature wee are but ledde along vnto that vnalterable Truth where we learne truely while wee stand to heare Him reioycing greatly because of the Bridegroomes voyce and returne our selues backe to that
their mutability by which they both leaue to bee what they haue beene and begin to bee what they haue neuer beene And this shifting out of one forme into another I suspected to bee caused by I know not what thing without form not by nothing at all yet this I was desirous to know not to suspect onely But if my voyce pen should here confesse all vnto thee whatsoeuer knots thou didst vnknâ—t for me in this questioÌ„ what Reader would haue so much patience to bee made conceiue it Nor shall my heart for all this cease at any time to giue thee honour and a Song of praise for all those things which it is not able to expresse For the changeable condition of changeble things is of it selfe capeable of all those forms into which these changable things are changed And this changeablenesse what is it Is it a soule or is it a body or is it any figure of a soule or body Might it be sayd properly that nothing were something and yet were not I would say This were it and yet was it both of these that so it might bee capeable of these visible and compounded figures CHAP. 7. Heauen is greater then Earth 1. BVt whence are both these but from thee from whom are all things so far forth as they haue being But how much the further off from thee so much the vnliker thee I doe not meane farrenesse of places Thou therefore O Lord who art not another in another place nor otherwise in another place but the same and the very same and the very selfe-same Holy Holy Holy Lord God almighty didst in the Beginning which is in thine owne selfe in thy Wisedome which was borne of thine owne Substance create something and that out of nothing 2. For thou createdst heauen and earth not out of thine owne selfe for so should they haue beene equall to thine onely Begotten Sonne and thereby vnto thine owne selfe too wheras no way iust it had beene that any thing should bee equall vnto thee which was not of thee Nor was there any thing besides thy selfe of which thou mightest create these things O God who art One in Trinity and Three in Vnity Therefore out of nothing hast thou created Heauen and Earth a great thing and a small thing for thou art omnipotent and good to make all things good euen the great heauen and the little earth Thou wert and nothing else was there besides out of which thou createdst Heauen and Earth two certaine things one neere thee the other neere to nothing One for thy selfe to bee superior vnto the other which nothing should bee inferiour vnto CHAP. 8. The Chaos was created out of nothing and out of that all things 1. BVt that Heauen of heauens which was for thy selfe Lord and this earth which thou gauest to the Sonnes of men to be seene and felt was not at first such as wee now both see and feele for it was inuisible and vnshapen and there was a deepe vpon which there was no light or darkenesse was vpon the deepe that is more then in the deepe Because this deepe of waters visible now adayes hath in his deepes a light proper for its nature perceiueable howeuer vnto the Fishes and creeping things in the bottome of it But all this whole was almost nothing because hitherto it was altogether without forme but yet there was now a matter that was apt to bee formed For thou Lord createdst the World of a matter without forme which being next to nothing thou madest out of nothing out of which thou mightest make those great workes which wee sonnes of men so much wonder at 2. For very wonderfull is this corporeall heauen which firmament betweene water and water the second day after the creation of light thou commandedst it to be made it was made Which Firmament thou calledst heauen the heauen that is to this earth and sea which thou createdst the third day by giuing a visible figure vnto the vnshapen matter which thou createdst before all dayes For euen already hadst thou created an heauen before all dayes but that was the Heauen of heauens because In the beginning thou createdst heauen and earth As for the earth which thou createdst it was an vnshapely matter because it was inuisible and without forme and darkenesse was vpon the deepe Of which inuisible earth and without forme of which vnshapelynes of which almost nothing thou mightest create all these of which this changeable world consists which continueth not the same but mutability it selfe appeares in it the times being easie to bee obserued and numbred in it For times are made by the alterations of things whilest namely their figures are varied and turned the matter whereof is this inuisible earth aforesayd CHAP. 9. What that Heauen of heauens is 1. THe Spirit therefore the Teacher of thy seruant whenas it recounts thee to haue in the beginning created heauen and earth speakes nothing of any times nor a word of any dayes For verily that Heauen of heauens which thou createdst in the beginning is some Intellectuall creature which although no waies coeternall vnto thee O Trinity yet being partaker of thy eternity doth through the sweetnesse of that most happy contemplation of thy selfe strongly restrayne its owne mutability and without any fall since its first creation cleauing close vnto thee hath set it selfe beyond all rowling interchange of times Yea neyther is this very vnshapelynesse of the inuisible earth and without forme once numbred among the dayes For where no figure nor order is there does nothing eyther come or goe and where this is not there playnely are no dayes nor any interchange of temporall spaces CHAP. 10. His desire to vnderstand the Scriptures 1. O Let truth the light of mine heart and not mine owne darkenesse now speake vnto me I fell off into that and became all be-darkned but yet euen for this euen vpon this occasion came I to loue thee I heard thy voyce behinde mee calling to mee to returne but scarcely could I discerne it for the noyse of my sinnes But see here I returne now sweating and panting after thy fountaine Let no man forbid me of this will I drinke and so shall I liue For I am not mine own life if I haue liued ill my death is farre from my selfe but t is in thee that I reuiue againe Speake thou vnto me discourse thou with mee I haue beleeued thy Bible but the words of it be most full of mystery CHAP. 11. What he learnt of God 1. NOw hast thou with a 〈…〉 voyce O Lord spoken in my inner care because thou art eternall that onely possessest immortality by reason that thou canst not be changed by any figure or motion nor is thy Will altered by times seeing no Will can be cald immortall which is now one and then another all this is in thy sight already cleare to me let it be more more cleared to me
somewell-filld Fruit-yards in which they discouering some fruites concealed vnder the leaues gladly flock thither and with cherefull chirpings seek out and pluck off these fruites For thus much at the reading or hearing of 〈…〉 words doe they discerne â— how that all things 〈…〉 to come are out 〈…〉 by thy eternall and 〈…〉 continuance at the 〈…〉 and how there is 〈…〉 all that any one of the 〈…〉 all creatures which 〈…〉 of thy making O God â—hose Will because it is the â—â—â— that thy selfe is is no â—â—â—s changed nor was it â—â—â— Will newly resolued vpâ—â— or which before was not â—â— thee by which thou createdst all things not out of thy selfe in thine own similiâ—â—â— which is the forme of â—â— things but out of nothing â—â— a formelesse vnlikenesse to â—â— selfe which might after â—â—â— formed by thy similitude â—â—â—â—â—king its recourse â—â—â— thee who art but one 〈…〉 to the capacity 〈…〉 for it so farre as is giuen to each thing in his kind and might all bee made very good whether they abide neere about thy selfe or which being by degrees remoued further off by times and by Places do eyther make or suffer many a goodly narration These things they see and they reioyce in the light of thy trueth according to all that little which from hence they are able to conceiue 2. Another bending his obseruation vpon that which is spokeÌ„ In the beginning God made heauen and earth hath a conceit that that begining is Wisedome because that also speaketh vnto vs. Another aduising likewise vpon the same words by Beginning vnderstands the first entrance of the things created taking them in this sense In the begining he made as if he should haue sayd He at first 〈◊〉 And among them that vnderstand In the beginning 〈◊〉 In thy Wisedome thou createdst heauen and earth One beleeues the matâ—â—â—â— of which the heauen and earth were to be created to be there called heauen and earth Another the natures already formed and distinguished Another vnder the 〈◊〉 of Heauen conceiues â—â—â— one formed nature and that the spirituall one to bee 〈◊〉 and vnder the name of Earth the other formelesse 〈◊〉 of the corporeall matter And as for them that vnder the names of heauen and earth vnderstand the matter as yet vnformed out of which heauen and earth 〈◊〉 to be formed neyther let they vnderstand it after 〈…〉 manner but One 〈◊〉 matter out of which both the intelligible and the sensible creature were to bee made vp Another that matter onely out of which this sensible corporeall bulke was to bee made which in his mighty bosome contaynes these natures so easie to bee seene and so ready to be had Neyther yet doe euen they vnderstand alike who beleeue the creatures already finished and disposed of to bee in this place called heauen and earth but one vnderstands both the inuisible and visible nature another the visible onely in which wee behold this lightsome heauen and darkesome earth with all things in them contayned CHAP. 29. How many wayes a thing may be sayd to be first 1. BVt he that no otherwise vnderstands In the beginning he made then if iâ— were sayd At first he made hath on ground whereupon with any truth he may vnderstand heauen earth vnlesse hee withall vnderstand the matter of heauen and earth that is to say of the vniuersall intelligible and corporeall creature For if he would haue the vniuerse to be already formed it may be rightly demanded of him If so be God made this first what then made hee after wards After the vniuerse surely he will finde nothing at all wherevpon must bee against his will heare of another question How is a thing first if after it there bee nothing But when he sayes God made the matter vnformed at first â—ad formed it afterwards there is no absurdity committed prouided that he bee able to discerne what 〈◊〉 first in eternity what in time what in choyce and what in Originall First in eternity so God is before all things first in time so is the flower before the fruit first in choyce so is the fruit before the flower first in Originall so is the sound before the Tune Of these foure the first and last that I haue mentioned are with extreme difficulty obtayned to be vnderstood but the two middlemost easily enough For too subtle and too losty a vision it is to behold thy eternity O Lord vnchangeably making these changeable things and so in that respect to be before them 2. And who in the second place is of so sharpe-sighted an vnderstanding as that hee is able without great paines to discerne how the sound should bee before the Tune yet is it so for this reason because a Tune is a sound that hath forme in it and likewise 〈…〉 that a thing not formed may haue a being whereas that which hath no forme can haue no being Thus is the matter before the thing made of â—â— Which matter is not before the thing in this respect for that it makes the thing seeing it selfe is rather made into the thing nor is it before in respect of distance of time for we doe not first in respect of time vtter formelesse founds without singing and then tune or fashion the same sounds into a form of singing afterwards iust as wood or siluer be seru'd whereof a chest or vessell is fashioned Such materials indeede doe in time precede the formes of those things which are made of them but in singing it is not so for when a man sings the sound is heard at the same time seeing that hee does not make a rude formelesse sound first and then bring it into the forme of a Tune afterwards 3. For a sound iust as it is made so it passeth nor canst thou finde aught of it which thou mayst call backe and set vnto a tune by any Art thou canst vse therefore is the tune carryed along in his sound which sound of his is his matter which verily receiues a forme that it may become a tune And therefore as I sayd is the matter of the sound before the forme of the tune not before in respect of any power it hath to make it a tune for a sound is no way the workemaster that makes the tune but being sent out of the body is like materials subiected to the soule to make a tune out of Nor is it first in our choyce seeing a sound is not better then a tune a tune being not onely a bare sound but a gracefull sound But it is first in Originall because a tune receiues not forme to cause it to become a sound but a sound receiues forme to cause it to become a tune By this example let him that is able vnderstand the matter of things to bee first made and called Heauen and Earth because Heauen and Earth were made out of it Yet was not this matter first made in respect of time because that the forme of
bee lesse if my seruice should bee wanting nor so to ply thee with my seruice as a man does his land that vnlesse I tilld thee thou must lye faellow but made I am both to serue and worship thee that I might receiue a well-being from thee from whom it proceedes that I haue such a being as is capeable of a well-being CHAP. 2. Of the creatures dependancy vpon their Creator 1. FOr by the fulnesse of thy goodnesse doth thy creature subsist that the good which could no wayes profite thee nor though of thee no wayes equall vnto thee yet being of thee might not bee wanting For what did Heauen and Earth which thou madest in the beginning deserue of thee Let those spirituall and corporeall natures which thou madest in thy Wisedome say how they deserued thee that things both now begunne and vnformed as yet euery one in its owne kinde spirituall or corporeall yea now falling away into an immoderate liberty and farre-distant vnlikenesse vnto thee should still haue their dependance vpon thee The Spirituall nature euen without its due forme as yet is farre more noble then any corporeall nature though fully formed and a corporeall thing though not yet formed better then if at all it had no being And in this manner should all things haue for euer depended vpon thy Word vnformed were they not by the same Word reduced vnto thy Vnity indued with a forme and improued by Thee the onely Soueraigne Good to become very good What can these formelesse natures deserue a being of thee seeing they could not haue so much as a beeing vnlesse they had it from thee 2. What did that corporeall matter deserue of thee that it should be made so much as inuisible shapelesse seeing it could not be so much as so hadst not thou made it so and therefore because it was not at all it could not deserue of thee to bee made Or what could the spirituall creature euen now begun to bee created deserue of thee that it might at least all darkesomely flit vp and downe like vnto the Deepe but very vnlike thee vnlesse it had beene by the same word call'd backe vnto that by whom it was created and by the same also enlightened that it might bee made light some by it although not in any equality yet in some conformity vnto that forme which is equall vnto thee For like as to a body simply to be is nor all one with being beautifull for then it could no wayes bee deformed so likewise to a created spirit to line is not all one with lining wisely for then should it euer continue wise vnchangeably But good it is for it to sticke close vnto thee lest what light it hath obteyned by turning to thee it may lose againe by turning from thee and relapse into a state of life resembling the darkesome deepe For euen wee our selues who according to our soules are a spirituall creature when wee were sometimes turned away from the our Light were very darkenesse in that estate of life yea and still wee labour amidst the reliques of our old darkenesse vntill in thy onely One wee bee made thy Righteousnesse which is like the great mountaines For wee haue somtimes vnder gone thy Iudgements which are like vnto the great Deepe CHAP. 3. All is of the grace of Gods 1. BY that which thou saydest in the first creation Let there be light and there was light I doe not vnfitly vnderstand the Spirituall creature because euen then was there a kinde of life which thou mightest illuminate But yet as then it had done nothing whereby to deserue of thee that there might bee such a light euen so when already it was come to bee could it not deserue of thee to bee enlightned For neyther could its formelesse estate bee pleasing vnto thee vnlesse it might bee made light light not by an absolute existing of light in it selfe but by beholding thee the Light all-illuminating and by cleauing vnto it that so the life that is liued at all and the life that is liued thus happily it might owe to nothing but thy grace being now conuerted by a better change vnto That which can neuer bee changed eyther into worse or better and that is vnto thee thy selfe onely because thou onely Art simply vnto thee it being not one thing to liue and another thing to liue well seeing thy selfe art thine own happinesse CHAP. 4. God needs not the Creatures but they him 1. VVHAT therefore could haue been wanting vnto thy good which thou thy selfe art although all these creatures should neuer haue been or haue remained vtterly without forme which thou madest not out of any want but out of the fulnesse of thy goodnesse holding them in and conuerting them to forme with no thought as if thy ioy were to receiue any accomplishment thereby For vnto thee who art absolutely perfect is their imperfection displeasing that so they be perfected by thee and thereby please thee not as if thou wert imperfect or wert to receiue perfection from their being perfected Thy good spirit indeede mooued vpon the waters yet was not borne vp by the waters as if he staied vp himselfe vpon them for vpon what waters thy good Spirit is sayd to stay those did hee cause to be stayed vp in himselfe But thy uncorruptible vnchangeable Will which is in it selfe all-sufficient for it selfe moued vpon that life which thy selfe hadst before created vnto which lining is not all one with happy liuing seeing it does but liue flitting vp and downe in its owne obscurity and which yet remaineth to be conuerted vnto him by whom it was made and to liue more and more neere by the fountain of life yea and in his light to see light and to be perfected at last and enlightened and made happy CHAP. 5. His Confession of the blessed Trinity 1. LOe now the Trinity appeares vnto mee in a glasse aarkly which is Thou my God because thou O Father in the beginning that is in thy Wisedome borne of thy selfe equall and coeternall vnto thee that is to say in thy Sonne hast created Heauen and Earth Much now haue we said of the Heauen of heauens and of the inuisible and vnshapen earth and of the dark some Deepe according namely vnto the wayning of spirituall deformity which euer it should haue wandered in vnlesse it had beene conuerted vnto him from whom that life which already it had was receiued by whose enlightning it might be made a beauteous life and become the heauen of that heauen which was afterwards set betweene water and water And vnder the name of God I now vnderstood the person of the Father who made all and vnder the name of beginning the person of the Sonne in whom hee made all and thus beleeuing as I did the Trinity to be my God I searcht further into thy holy Word and lo his Spirit moued vpon the waters See here the Trinity my God the Father and Sonne and holy
disquieted within me Trust in the Lord his word is a lanthorne vnto thy feete trust and abide on him vntill the night the mother of the wicked vntill the wrath of the Lord bee ouerpast the children of which wrath our selues who were sometimes darknesse haue beene the reliques of which darkenesse wee still beare about vs in our body dead because of sinne vntill the day breake and the shadowes flee away 2. Hope thou in the Lord in the morning I shall stand in thy presence and contemplate thee yea I shall for euer confesse vnto thee In the morning I shall stand in thy presence and shall see the health of my countenance euen my God who also shall quicken our mortall bodies by the Spirit that dwelleth in vs who in mercie sometimes moued vpon our inner darkesome and floating deepe from whome in this our pilgrimage wee haue receiued such a pledge as that euen now wee are light euen alreadie in this life whilest wee are saued by hope made the Children of light and the Children of the day not the Children of the night nor of the darknes which yet somtimes we haue beene Betwixt which Children of darknesse and vs in this vncertainety of humane knowledge thou onely canst deuide thou who prouest the hearts and callest the light day and the darkenesse night For who can discerne vs but thou And what haue we that wee haue not receiued of thee Out of the same lump are some made for vessels of honour and others for dishonour CHAP. 15. By the word Firmament is the Scripture meant 1 BVt who except thou O our God made that Firmament of the Authority of thy diuine Scripture to bee ouer vs as t is said The heauen shall be folded vp like a booke and is euen now stretcht ouer vs like a skin For thy holy Scripture is of more eminent authority since those mortals departed this life by whom thou dispensest it vnto vs. And thou knowest O Lord thou knowest how thou with skins didst once apparell men so soone as they by sin were become mortall Wherevpon hast thou like a skinne stretched out the Firmament of thy booke that is to say those words of thine so well agreeing together which by the ministry of mortall men thou spreadest ouer vs. For by the death of those men is that solid strength of authority appearing in the bookes set by them more eminently stretched ouer all that bee now vnder it which strength whil'st they liued on earth was not then so eminently stretched out ouer vs. Thou hadst not as yet spredde abroad that heauen like a skin thou hadst as yet euery where noysed abroad the report of their deaths 2 Let vs looke O Lord vpon the heauens the worke of thy fingers cleare our eyes of that mist with which thou hast ouer cast them there is that testimony of thine which giueth wisdome vnto the little ones perfect O my God thine owne prayse cut of the mouth of babes and sucklings Nor haue wee knowne any other bookes which so destroy pride which so beate downe the aduersary and him that stands vpon his own guard that standeth out vpon termes of reconciliation with thee in defence of his owne sinnes I know not Lord I knowe not of any other such chaste words that are so powerfull in perswading me to Confession and in making thy yoake easie vnto my neck and in inuiting mee to serue thee for very loues sake Graunt mee to vnderstand them good Father grant me thus much that am placed vnder them because that for them who are placed vnder them thou hast settled them so surely 3. Other Waters also there bee aboue this firmamenent immortall they bee as I beleeue and separated from all earthly corruption Let those supercelestiall people thine Angels prayse thee yea let them prayse thy name they who haue no neede to receiue this Firmament or by reading to attaine the knowledge of thy Word For they alwayes behold thy face and there doe they reade without any syllables measurable by times what the meaning is of thy eternall will They reade they chuse they loue They are euer reading yet that neuer passes ouer which they reade because by choosing and by louing doe they reade the vnchangeablenesse of thy counsayle Their booke is neuer closed nor shall it bee euer clasped seeing thy selfe is that volume vnto them yea thou art so eternally For thou hast ordayned them to bee aboue this Firmament which thou hast settled ouer the infirmenesse of the lower people where-out they might receiue and take notice of thy mercy which sets thee forth after a temporall manner euen thee that madest times For thy mercy O Lord is in the Heauens and thy truth reacheth vnto the clouds The clouds pass away but the heauen abides the Preachers of thy Word passe out of this life into another but thy Scripture is spred abroad ouer the people euen vnto the end of the world 4. Yea both heauen and earth shall passe but thy words shall not passe away because the parchment shall bee folded vp and the grasse ouer which it was spred out shall with the goodlynesse of it also passe away but thy Word remaineth for euer Which word now appeareth vnto vs vnder the darkenesse of the cloudes and vnder the glasse of the heauens and not as in it selfe it is because that euen we though the well-beloued of thy Sonne yet is it not hitherto manifest what we shall be He standeth looking thorow the lattis of our flesh and he spake vs faire yea hee set vs on fire and wee ranne after the sent of his odors But when he shall appeare then shall we be like him for we shall see him as he is Graunt vs Lord to see him that is our owne though the time bee not yet come CHAP. 16. God is vnchangeable 1. FOr fully as in thy selfe thou art thou onely knowest thou who ART vnchangeably and know est vnchangeably and willest vnchangeably And thy essence both knoweth and willeth vnchangeably And thy knowledge Is wills vnchangeably and thy will Is knows vnchangeably Nor seemes it right in thine eyes that in the same manner as an vnchangeable light knoweth it selfe so it should be known of a thing changeable that receiues light from another My soule is therefore like a land where no water is because that as it cannot of it selfe enlighten it selfe so can it not of it selfe satisfie it selfe For so is the fountaine of life with thee like as in thy light we shall see light CHAP. 17. What is meant by dry land and by the Sea 1. VVHo gathered bitter spirited people together into one society Because that all of them propound to themselues the same end of a temporall and earthly felicity for attayning whereof they doe whateuer they do though in the doing they wauer vp and downe with innumerable variety
of speaking it is corporeally expressed and thus doth this Fry of the waters increase and multiply Obserue againe Reader who euer thou art behold I say that which the Scripture deliuers and the voice pronounces one onely way In the Beginning God created Heauen Earth is it not vnderstood many a seuerall way not w th any deceit of errour but in seuerall kinds of very true sences Thus does mans of spring increase and multiply 4. If therefore wee can conceiue of the natures of things not allegorically but properly then may the phrase Increase and multiply very well agree vnto all things whatsoeuer that come of any kinde of Seede But if wee intreate of the words as figuratiuely spoken which I rather suppose to be the purpose of the Scripture which doth not I beleeue superfluously attribute this benediction vnto the increases of watery and humane creatures onely then verily doe we find multitudes both in creatures spirituall and creatures corporeall as in Heauen and Earth and in Soules both righteous and vnrighteous as in light and darkenesse and in holy Authors who haue beene the Ministers of the Law vnto vs as in the Firmament which is settled betwixt the higher and the lower Waters and in the society of people yet in the bitternesse of infidelity as in the Sea and in the studies of holy soules as in the dry land and in the workes of mercy done in this life as in the herbs bearing seede and in the fruitefull trees and in spirituall gifts shining forth for our edification as in the lights of heauen and in mens affections reformed vnto temperance as in the liuing soule in all these instances we meete with multitudes abundance and increase 5. But that such an increase and multiplying should come as that one thing may be vnderstood and expressed many wayes and one of those expressions vnderstood seuerall waies too wee doe no where find except in words corporeally expressed and in things intelligibly deuided By these words corporeally pronounced wee vnderstand the generations of the waters and that for the necessary causes of fleshly profundity by these things intelligibly diuided wee vnderstand humane generations and that for the fruitfulnesse of their reason And euen therefore we beleeue thee Lord to haue sayd to both these kinds Increase and multiply for that within the compasse of this blessing I conceiue thee to haue granted vs a power and a faculty both to expresse seuerall waies that which wee vnderstand but one and to vnderstand seuerall waies that which wee reade to bee obseurely deliuered but in one Thus are the waters of the Sea replenished which are not moued but by seuerall significations thus with humane increase is the earth also replenished whose drynesse appeared by its affections ouer which reason ruleth CHAP. 25. He allegorically compareth the Fruites of the Earth vnto the duties of piety I Will now also deliuer O Lord my God that which the following Scripture puts mee in minde of yea I will deliuer it without feare For I will vtter the truth thy selfe inspiring me with what thy pleasure was to haue me deliuer concerning those words But by no other inspiration then thine can I beleeue my selfe to speake truth seeing thou art the very truth and euery man a lyer He therefore that speaketh a lye speaketh it of his owne that therefore I may speake truth I will speake it from thee Behold thou hast giuen vnto vs for foode euery herbe bearing seede which is vpon the face of all the earth and euery tree in which is the fruit of a tree yeelding seede And that not to vs alone but also to all the Fowles of the ayre and to the beasts of the earth and to all creeping things but vnto the Fishes and to the greate whales hast thou not giuen them 2. Now by these fruites of the earth wee sayd before that the workes of mercy were signified and figured out in an Allegory which for the necessition of this life are afoorded as 〈◊〉 of a fruitfull earth Such an Earth was the doâ— out Quâ—siphâ—rus vnto whose housethou gauest mercy who often refreshed thy Paul and was not ashamed of his chaine With such a crop were those Brethren fruitfull also who out of Mecedonia supplied his wants But how much grieued hee for such trees as did not affâ—â—rd him the fruite due vnto him where hee sayth At my first â—â—swere no man stood by me 〈◊〉 men forsooke me I pray God that it may not be layd to their charge For these fruits are due vnto such as minister the Spirituall doctrine vnto vs out of their vnderstanding of the diuine Mysteries and they are due â—â— vnto them as they are 〈◊〉 yea and due so vnto them also as vnto liuing 〈◊〉 in that they giue themselues as patternes of imitation in all continencie â—nd so are they due vnto them also as they are flying 〈◊〉 for their Blessings which are multiplied vpon the 〈◊〉 because their found i gaue out into all lands CHAP. 26. The pleasure and the profit redounding to vs out of a 〈◊〉 turne done vnto our neyghbour 1. THey now are fedde by these fruites that are delighted with them nor are those delighted with them whose belly is their God Neither yet euen in them that yeeld them is that the fruit which they yeeld but the mind with which they affoord them Hee therefore that serued God not his own belly I plainely see the thing that caused him so to reioyce I see it and I reioyce with him For hee had receiued fruit from the Philippians who had sent it by Spaphroditâ—s vnto him and yet I still perceiue the cause of his reioycing For that which hee reioyced vpon that hee fed because hee speaking as truth was of it I reioyced sayth hee greatly in the Lord that now at last your 〈◊〉 of mâ— hath flourished againe wherein yee were also carefull but it was tedious vnto you These Philippians therefore had now euen rotted away with a longsome irkesomnesse and withered as it were in respect of the fruit of this good worke and he now reioyceth for them not for himselfe that they fliurisht again in asmuch as they now supplyed his wants Therefore sayth hee afterwards This I speake not in respect of want for I haue learned in whatsoeuer state I am therewith to be content I know both how to be abasâ—i and I know how to abound euery where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry both to abound and to suffer neede I can do all things through him which strengtheneth me â— Of what art thou so glad O great Paul of what art thou so glad what is it thou so feedest vpoÌ„ Othou man renued in the knowledg of God after the image of him that created thee thou liuing soule of so much coÌ„tinency thou tongue of the flying fowles speaking such mysteries for to such creatures is this foode due what
to 〈◊〉 evill for soule and body 〈…〉 Appetites be in the Motive faculty of the 〈◊〉 Soule by these â—â—e soule moves herselfe to or 〈◊〉 sesued or abhorred object Here the old 〈◊〉 much mistakes for want of Philosophie Psal 18. 28 Ioh 1. 16 9 Iam. 1. 16. 1 Pet. 5. 5. Psal 51. 8. * Multa in pulvere depingentibus Which the Other Translator turnes writing them in the dust noting in his margent that it was a manner of â—â—iting then used Boldly affirmed I dare say there was never such a manner of writing But thus it was The Mathematicians had their pulverem Mathematicum dust in linnen bagges which scirced or pownc'd upon a board they drew their Schemes and Diagrams upon to make ocular demonstration withall either for their owne use or their Schollers This they could easily and the aply put in and out againe Arch medes was taken in his Study drawing his Mathematicall Lines in such dust He alludes to the Prodigall Luk. â—5 O wonderful naturall wit of S. Augustine The Papists brag of being in the true Church but plainely their Chickens seldome prove more than spoone-feathered not hardpenn'd For they want the food here spoken of Sound Faith Traditions Legends seined Miracles carnall Vowes and out side Sanctity may puffe up not edifie * He meanes that the goodly order and workmanship of the creatures causes those that well consider them to open their mouthes in praises to God for theÌ„ The Old Translator is much puzled here confounding both the sense and Sentences Psal 139. 7 Psal 138. 6 Deut. 4. 21. 1 Cor. 1. 30 Rom. 1. 21. Rom. 1. 21. Rom. 1. 23 25. Rom. 1. 21. Wis 11. 20 Iob 28. 28. Manichaeus his pride and blasphemy All Heretikes doe thus brag of the Spirit Eph. 4. 13 14. * Iust the Purilane humour of our tiâ—es with whom our incomparable Court Sermons are flatteries and our neatest Preachers are Ladypreachers for so they call them * This was the old fashion of the East where 〈◊〉 Schollers had liberty to aske questions of their Masters and to move doubts as the Professors were reading or so soone as the Lecture was done Thus did our Saviour with the Doctors 〈◊〉 2. 46. So 〈◊〉 still in some European Vniversities Pro. 21. 29 * The insolent fashion of the Students in Carthage Psal 142. 5. * He means the waters of baptisme * Memoria beati Cypriani This the former Translator turnes The Shrine of Saint Cyprian and notes in his margent The place where S. Cyprians Reliques were kept See our Preface * Because he was not yet baptised Eph. 2. 16. * Another errour of the Manichees who beleeved not Christ to have assumed a true body but a phantasticall appearance and shape onely * He alludes to his owne Manichaean humour and contempt of Baptisme that Physike of the soule which suffers it not to dye the second death thogh the body through sicknesse dyes the first Here the former Translator mistakes and misses talking of I know not what journey * NusquaÌ„nisi or nusquam non as Suetonius hath it no place omitted or in every place In the Latine the Interrogative point should not be after intermissione but after ad te * See 1 Tim. 5. 10. * Oblations were those offerings of bread meale or wine for making of the Eucharist or of Almes besides for the poore which the Primitive Christians every time they communicated brought to the Church where it was received by the Deacons who presented them to the Priest or Bishop Here note 1. They communicated daily 2. They had Service morning and evening and two Sermons a 〈◊〉 many times 3. Note that Saint Monica never heard Masse as the Popish Translater would have it in his margeat for Masse is not sound in Saint Augustine 4. Observe that here bee Sermons too which because the Papists have not with their Masses he cunningly but falâ—ily translates Sermonibus Inspirations * These glorious titles did the Manichees assume So doe our own schismaticall Pure ones This spirituall pride still accompanies Hereticks yea 't is a sare marke of heresie Marke how Saint Augustine describes them We have those now a dayes that say God sees no sinne in them and 't is not they that sinne but corruption in them Psal 141. 3 4. * Other of the Manichees errours * 〈◊〉 carni concerneretur Concerni autem non inquinari c. * See Booke 3. Chap. 3. Psal 139. 22. * Impertita etiam evectione publica Sending of Waggons or Horses and a man to defray his charges upon the Cities purse Thus had the Ancients their publike Horses or Waggons for the service of the State and defraying the charges of their ministers Thus did Constantine oppoint Coaches and Horses of Relay for the Bishops that were to come to the Councell of Nice This is supplyed by our Post-Horses and by the Secretary of State his allowance of money to those that ride with Packets upon the Kings Service The former Translator whom I finde no great Antiquary nor Critike in Grammar not standing to examine this turnes Impertita etiam evectione publica The Election being publike Wilfully changing eveâ—â—â—â—â— into electione But what then shall become of impertita In a marginall Note upon the end of the last Chapter but one he challenges us to shew where the Papists had corrupted the Fathers Sure here is Saint Augustine corrupted if not out of malice yet upon shrewd suspâ—tion of ignorance and a desire to be rid of his Taske of Translating The collapsed Ladios he knew had no skill to examine the Latine Your Implicite Faith is your onely Faith Why Because 't is Romane Catholike * Vt dictione proposita me probatum mitteret This was and still is the fashion to make an Oration or to read a Lecture for a void Professors place in our Vniversities The former Translator turnes it would send me as approved from thence upon publike provision to bee made I understand not the man * He alludes to Psal 4. 7. * He alludes to that in 2 Cor. 3. The letter killeth but the Spirit giveth life * Another of the Manichees errours * An Audiâ—â—r or a Disciple * Here Saint Augustine was too blame for he should have said A Romane Catholik and not a Christian Catholike And yet I quit him For sure that Bull of Romane Catholike was not heard of in his time Luk. 7. 14. * Fidelem Catholicum A faithfull Catholike See what we have noted in the first Booke upon this word Fidelis Marke here is Christianus Catholicus and Fidelis Catholicus but yet not Romanus Catholicâ—â— 't is strange that Saint Augustine should so soone have forgotten Rome from whence hee came sâ—lately * She meanes Baptisme * Here the former Translator incurres some suspicion of non sense or of not full understanding the place * See what wee have noted upon the eighth Chapter of the former Booke a Pultes There was the Romane Puls and
In Geneva I hope the Minister hath more authority than in England a Romae assidebat Comiti largitionuÌ„ ItalicaruÌ„ The Lord high Treasurer of the Westerne Empire was called Comes sacrarum laâ—gitionum he had sâ—xe other Treasurers in so many Provinces under him whereof he of Italy was one Vnder whom this Alipius had sâ—me Office of Iudicature ourâ—aions â—aions of the Exchequer See Sir Henry 〈◊〉 Glossary in the word 〈◊〉 And 〈…〉 l. 5. c. 40. The other Translator 〈◊〉 Assessor to the Prefect of the Contributioner of Italy Ill. Luk. 16. 10 11. 12. Psal 145. 15. * Here 's an obiection of flesh and blood against the motions of Gods Spirit * Another Obiection of flesh and blood * Why then doe the Papists inforce so many young Maids and men to vow as if it were in their own power And why suffer they those to keepe the habite and place of Chastity when as their Visitor knowes they have broken the Vow of Chastity * Mat. 19. 11. * Promeruissent Deum Which the Popish Translator turnes And were gratefull unto God Very well gratefull that is acceptable Seeing then promerita is but acceptablenesse why should merita the single word have so sawcie a signification in Popish doctrine as merits Let them mince the matter with Logike how they can by their distinction of condignity and congruity of merits sure they are gone by the Lawes of Grammar which admits no such signification of promereo or of merita unlesse perchance our Dictionaries have the word Merits not in the genuine signification but to learne us to understand what the Papists meane by it * See what we have before noted pag. 36. in the margent * Quem tunc graves aestus negotioruÌ„ suorum ad ComitatuÌ„ attraxerant This the former Translator turnes That place of our residence The man had ill lucke to misse at every hard place He helpe him Comitatus was like the place where our Termes be kept the Imperiall Chamber at Spires in Germany may rightly be called Comitatus The Emperours appointed it in any good Towne where they pleased though themselves were not there and at this time for these parts it was at Millan So plainely sayes Possidonius in the life of Saint Augustine Comitatus is the place whither subiects repaire for the dispateh of such businesse as depends upon the Kings Courts of Iustice London is our Comitatus the Kings Chamber for the South Yorke for the North. This word is familiar to the Civill Lawyers See the eighth and ninth Canons of the Councell of Sardica Mat. 7. 13. Psal 33. 11 Psal 145. * A Vow of Chastity sayes the Popish TraÌ„slator and a goodly one too How many such Nuns hath the Church of Rome that then vow chastity wheÌ„ they are satisfied with lust But well it were they had no worse Nunnes than such as vow upon remorse of conscience as this whoore did But this was a private Vow yet which God knowes how long she kept and no formall Nunnery Vow she carried not her portion into the Nunnery with her Money is of the substance of the Nunnes Vow now-a dayes Chastity is but a formality She vowes not to know a man but her money does not so the Friers may know that The Primitives admitted no Nunnes but pure Virgins and if ever it could be proved she had plaid false before her Admission she was canonically to be put out of the House Any crackt Chamber-maid will make as good a Nunne as the best now-a daies Could Nunnes keepe their Vow I would never speake against their Order * Et tractus meritorum This the Popish Translator turnes And that which Merits do import Meere non sense And notes in his margent Merits As if the place made for Popish merits Doughtily proved as if Augustine who was yet no Divine knew any thing of the Doctrine of Merits Hee taâ—kâ— before of the last Iudgement and here he talkes of the places of punishment or reward which Epicurus Philosophy knew nothing of If he pleases to looke his Dicticnary he shall finde Tractus to signifie a Region or Countrey He alludes to other Philosophers beleeving of the severall Regions of Hell and Elysium which were both under the earth but distinguisht into severall Quarters or Regions Tractus is the Accusative case plurall a This Philosophical word the former Translator turnes This Action of my minde Short of the sense Saint Augustine alludes to that in Philosophy That all naturall bodies to make theÌ„selves perceived by the sense doe send and beame out from them some figure Image c. by which the sense may appâ—hend them which figure or shape striking upon the sense provokes it and so makes it take actuall notice of us proper object And this spirituall figure representing a reall object which these bodies send out doe the Philosophers call their Intention So that Austens 〈◊〉 fancying the like Images he cals it the intention of his minds a The other Tranlator renders it thus And that this helpe must bee the Soule which thy Word being free might succour Succour a helpe A meere Bull and Non-sense which utterly loses the force and meaning of the Argument a Here flyes my Popish Translator out upon Mr. Calvine for teaching Gods Decree and purpose by with-holding of his Grace to be the Causes of Sinne and Damnation Verily Mr. Calvine is wronged that way But this being an Arminian Controversie I had rather obey His Majesties two Proclamations and one Declaration than to be so soole-hardy as to meddle with it I am neither Calvinist nor Arminian I am of the Religion of the Primitive Fathers which the Church of England professes b Here the Popish Translator commits a most negligent and grosse mistake as if the soule of man had of a pure Angell turn'd to a Divell Saint Augustine speakes not of the Soules turning Divell but of him that was once created a good Angell a Here the Popish Translater grossely playes the Papist purposely wresting the sense thus Yet did the beliefe of the Catholike Church concerning thy Christ sticke fast in me As if Saint Augustine had held this Popish implicite faith To beleeve as the Church beleeves had beene enough There is much difference betwixt a mans cleere and explicite knowledge of what he beleeves in Christ and a blinde implicite beliefe as the Church beleeves when he knowes not what the Church beleeves a See the 3. Chap. of the 4. Booke a Scripturis quas Ecclesiae commendaret autoritas Where Ecclesiae may be the dative Case and then may it goe thus Which Scriptures thy authority recommended unto the Church as before hee said lib. 6. cap. 5. See the place Here the Popish Translator would needes give Authority to the Church to teach us what is Scripture For that controversie see our Preface Iob 15. 26. I am 4. 6. a This was likely to be the Booke of Amelius the Platonist who hath indeed this beginning of S. Iohns Gospell