of precious Time which at such a season will be esteemed precious tho' now it be not O how swift how short is my Time of Trial in order to Eternity how difficult how important a work is it to prepare for an Everlasting State What is all this World how little how meer a nothing to a departing Soul And shall I after such Reflections continue to pursue Shadows and please my self with empty Dreams when being so near my final Judgment the Common Wisdom of a Man requires me to mind it in good Earnest and be more solicitous about it than for any thing Temporal O in what manner will Death open my Eyes by shutting the Windows of Sense How shall I then see the Nothingness of what is but Temporal and the Reality of what is Eternal We sometimes laugh to see the Vanity of little Children who are greatly pleased with painted Toys and busily employed about Trifles It extorts a Smile to see them eager and industrious and mightily concerned in their Childish Sports to see them sigh or weep for little things which we despise to observe with what Solicitude and Care they 'll raise a little Fabrick which three Moments after they themselves pull down or would otherwise tumble of its own Accord We laugh at these but should weep over our selves as the greater and elder Fools who are every whit as silly yea infinitely more that considering we know the fraily of our present Life and can look beyond the Grave to another World should yet mispend our precious Time on things which cannot profit and please our selves with what is so unsuitable to our Age and State and suffer our Passions to work with violence for a thing of nought and our greatest Diligence Care and Zeal to be exercised on things impertinent and vain that are perishing in themselves and can contribute nothing to our Eternal Welfare And is it not thus with reference to all that Men toil and labour for with the Neglect of an immortal State The Voluptuous Sadducee will not refuse the present Gratification of his sensual Appetite because he is uncertain of another day Let us eat and drink for to Morrow we dye Should not the same Motive quicken my Diligence in a better work and because my Lord may come suddenly at a Thief in the Night immediately prepare to meet him Let me now therefore O my Soul look forward to the End of Life and Time and so let me esteem and seek and choose and do every thing in the first place which then I shall wish I had Let me do nothing now which I verily believe I shall then be ashamed or sorry to reflect on that by thinking what a Condition I shall then wish to have my Soul in I may now provide my self much better than I have done hitherto That while I am in the greatest probability of living I may suppose my change to be near and so not dare to do any thing but what I would or might do if I were in the present Expectation of Death To this end let me go down to the Potters-House descend to the Consideration of my Mortality and dwell among the Tombs remembring the Aegyptians built themselves better Tombs than Houses because they were to dwell longer in them Let every Nights repose serve me as a Memorial of my last sleep and let my Bed stand for the Model of my Coffin This is the only Way to be dead to this World to be able to judge of things now as we shall do after Death according to Immutable Eternal Truth SECT X. The Brevity of Life considered as the fruit of Sin There are but three ways of leaving this World as Abel Adam or Enoch A diligent Improvement of Time farther prest and the Neglect of it bewailed THE shortning of our Days is the fruit of Sin All the Funerals that have ever been in the World have been caused by Sin We dye because we have sinned and yet we should not sin as now if this were not forgot that we must dye From the first Transgression of Adam we derive our Death and therefore some of his Posterity lived longer than he Which proves that the lengthning of our Days is the peculiar Gift of God and yet 't is such a Gift as was more desired formerly than since the Appearance of Christ For we read of none in the New Testament since Life and Immortality is brought to Light by the Gospel who desired a long Continuance here on Earth Were we delivered from Sin the sting of Death by having made our Peace with God in the Blood of Jesus Death would not be frightful or put on such a Ghastly Vizor as to most it doth But we are uncertain of our Justification we waver between Hopes and Fears as to our final Sentence and are conscious to our selves that we are not ready for our great Account This makes Death so terrible Considering withal that it is inevitable The Way of all the Living For tho' the Curse be removed and the sting be taken out by our Blessed Saviour so that the Souls of Believers are safe and shall not be touch'd by the second Death yet God hath not taken away the stroke of it from the Body Tho' a Christian is assured of deliverance from Hell he is not exempted from the Grave as his Passage to Heaven Prepare me Lord by the free Remission of all my Sins and make me meet for the Blessed Inheritance by sanctifying Grace and then thy Time is best Thy Holy Will be done No matter then whether my Death be violent or what we call Natural It will be one of the two for I can't expect to be Translated by a miraculous Change as Holy Enoch was and as they shall be who shall be found alive in the World when our Glorious Judge shall come again There are but those three ways of leaving Earth and the Three first Men of whose Departure we read in Scripture are Instances of all Three Abel of a violent Death Adam of a natural One and Enoch of a Translation The Variety and Order of their Departure as one observes is very admirable and deserves to be considered For all Mankind must follow one or other of those three Examples Every Man or Woman that is born into the World must leave it by one of those three ways either be cut off by a violent Death as Abel the first Man who dyed or dye a natural Death as Adam did who was the second or be translated as Enoch who was the third we read of But though I know that within a few Years at farthest I must leave this World by one or other of these ways though I have been dying ever since I began to live am Dead to the last Year and to all the preceeding Portions of my Time and know withal that what remains will quickly pass and be gone after the same manner yet how have I overloved this Body as if I should
shall Believers then contemplate the unsearchable Riches of his Grace In all the Parts and Instances of his Humiliation from his Conception to his Crucifixion and Burial in all the Evidences and Discoveries made of it from the first Promise to its Completion yea from before the Foundation of the World in the Covenant of Peace between the Father and the Son until his second Coming to Judge the World and deliver up the Kingdom to his Father How shall we then admire and adore his Powerful Grace which snatcht us as Firebrands out of everlasting Burnings that effectually shin'd into our minds by heavenly Light conquer'd the Opposition of our stubborn Wills Sanctified our carnal Hearts rescued us from the Tyranny of Satan and the Dominion of Lust giving cherishing and preserving the holy Seed of Grace and making it Spring up to Eternal Life defeating the malicious and subtil Endeavours of the Devil to destroy it inabling us to indure Tribulation and persevere to the end giving us Victory over Death conducting us through the dark Valley raising our Bodies reviving ard reuniting them to our Souls and rendring them glorious like his own Body and at length rewarding our imperfect Services with Eternal Life Yea tho' our best Services were mixt with Sin our holiest Duties spotted our most couragious Sufferings mixt with Unbelief yet rewarded with a Blessedness that hath no Alloy of Evil but all the Ingredients of a Perfect Felicity and nothing to lessen and interrupt it How shall we then admire the Bounty of our Gracious Lord the Freeness Tenderness Riches and the exceeding Greatness and Glory of his Infinite Goodness and Grace to poor Believers With what Ecstasies of Joy and Gratitude may we imagine that our Lord will be then admired by all his Redeemed ones Saying This is He who made our Peace with God and reverst the Sentence of Damnation which we were under who bought us with the price of his most precious Blood bore the Wrath of his Father and submitted to an infamous and cursed Death for us He assumed our Nature that we might partake of his became the Son of Man that we might be made the Children of God for our sakes he became poor that we through his Poverty might become Rich He stoopt to bear the greatest Ignominy and Reproach to confer Honour on us He was for a time forsaken of his Father that we might not be so Eternally He felt the stroke of his Anger against Sin that we might not perish under it He was a Man of Sorrows and acquainted with Griefs that we might Rejoyce His Agonies and bloody Sweat were for our Refreshment and by his Stripes we are Healed He bowed his Head on the Cross that we might lift up ours in Triumph and because we had eaten of the forbidden Fruit he hung on the Accursed Tree 'T was for us that he suffered the Frowns of Heaven the Enimity of Hell the Rage of Devils the Hatred and Persecution of the World He was judged that we might not come into Condemnation He was Crucified that we might be Glorified and he is now Come again finally and fully to effect it O the Height and Depth and Length and Breadth of the Love of Christ which passeth Knowledge but calls for Admiration and everlasting Gratitude This is the Blessed Day we long'd and waited and prayed for This is our Gracious our Glorious Lord whose Love melted our Heart whose Promise was our Support whose Word was our Rule whose Spirit was our Comforter whose Cross was our Crown and the Hope of his Appearance our chief Consolation Lord What am I what was I that the ever Blessed Son of God should do and suffer and purchase all this for me I can remember when I was ignorant of God a Stranger to him at Enmity with him under the Power of Darkness and the Devil serving divers Lusts and Pleasures hastening to Hell and liable to his Wrath. But he chose me out of the World stampt his Image upon me pardoned my Sins and imbrac'd me in the Arms of his unchangeable Love O happy Change and yet how little did I prize his Grace admire his Love and express my own or promote his Glory and honour him in the Eyes of others How did I dishonour my Profession and holy Calling as his Disciple by aggravated Apostacy But he recovered me by Repentance and healed my Back-slidings and received me graciously because he loved me freely O admirable Grace to pardon and save and bring to Glory such an unthankful Wretch as I have been to make such a Difference between Me and Others whom I knew on Earth That the same Power which makes them Miserable now makes me Blessed That when they are banisht from his Presence into Everlasting Destruction I am admitted to behold his Glory and shall dwell with him for ever O how much more do I now see and find than ever I believed of the Love of Christ and his promised Salvation How much more glorious is the Person of my Redeemer How much more Excellent is the Heavenly State than ever I thought or expected I could not have imagined the thousandth thousandth Part of that which I now see and feel I cannot but admire and spend an Eternity in admiring and praising the incomparable Grace and Glory of my blessed Redeemer Such Holy Admiration will certainly produce the most thankful Adoration of our Lord Jesus Saying one to another O Bless the Lord of Love and Glory Who humbled himself so low as our Mediator and hath exalted us so high as the blessed Fruit of it How can we ever enough adore and praise him who condescended so far and hath done and suffer'd so much for us See how the Holy Angels worship this King of Glory And have not every one of us more reason to do so O let all the Quire of Heaven celebrate his glorious Love And let us his Redeemed his Glorified ones say continually Let the Lord be magnified who hath loved us and washed us from our Sins in his own Blood and made us Kings and Priests unto God his Father and through him ours O merciful Saviour O glorious Change O happy Society With whom we shall Eternally adore our Common Lord. We can some of us remember when we lived together on Earth how we wept and prayed and fasted and mourned together how we suffered and complain'd and sinn'd together O the marvellous Change our Redeemer hath now wrought for us and in us These Bodies these Souls this Life this Place this Company these Injoyments are not like those in yonder World But alas who can describe what Believers shall then think and say to extol their Saviour How small a Portion is it we understand of that World How little can I conceive and how much less express Blessed be God we know so much as the matter of our joyful Hopes and for ever Blessed be God who hath promised and provided such a Glory for us as cannot now be
will blast the fairest Reputation with the far greatest part of the World It may be lost by unwary Mistakes by false Reports by Envy and Malice by the subtle Hatred of Enemies or by the Weakness and Credulity of Friends who will listen to every Back-biters Story or by one or two Indiscretions of the Man himself and no Man can be certain to secure his Reputation whilst he lives much less after he is dead Who can content all Men however he live And who is well spoken of by all when he is dead Who is so esteemed that some do not despise him The wisest Conduct cannot hinder but some will judge hardly and amiss How vain and faulty is an Ambition to be talkt of after we are dead which will be but by very few and that very differently and but for a little while There is no Remembrance of former things neither shall there be of things to come with those that shall come after Eccles 1.11 For how little a while do the proudest Monuments last that are set over the rotten Flesh and Bones of many to preserve their Memory God hath promis'd 't is true that The Righteous shall be had in everlasting Remembrance but it must be understood so far only as the frame and state of this World and the Revolutions and Vicissitudes of Time will permit But what Good can it do us farther than the Interest of God's Glory and the Good of others is concerned in it The Blessed will not need it and the Damned have no Advantage by it And no Endeavours can be certain of Success For People will talk of us as they please and their Opinions very often change from one Extream to the other But he who hath the loudest Fame shall only be talkt of a little longer than his Neighbours and that by a few dying Men that must themselves be e're long forgotten And how small a part of the inhabited World is acquainted so much as with the Name of the greatest Men in Europe And how different and contrary are mens Opinions and Discourses of them where they are known and talkt of And how many holy excellent Persons are buried in Oblivion or mis-represented as unworthy to live on Earth whose Names will be found in the Book of Life Our Life is yet as mutable and uncertain as any of theirs The Time is hastning when we shall be too old to Live but at any time we are old enough to Die Our Breath is in our Nostrils and though there be room enough for it to go out we have no Assurance that we shall have power to draw it in again SECT III. Of the Uncertainty of living to the Period of another year The Vanity of this Life The Swistness of Time and how to be improved I Now begin another Year But what Assurance have I to out-live it I cannot not say how soon my Sovereign Judge may call me hence and summon me to appear before his Righteous Bar. O let me not defer my necessary Preparation for Death which may be nearer than I imagine Let me mind the Great things first which are of absolute necessity to be done some time or other before I dye This perishing Body which I have pampered and indulged at the expence of so much Cost and Time may be putrifying in a silent Grave before half this Year be past Lord bless this thought to awaken my diligent endeavours to secure the Blessedness of Eternity to mortifie the desire of Great Things for my self in future Years by the considered Possibility of dying before the end of this Let me look into the Graves of others and consider that this may quickly happen to me and must ere long be my own ease Let me think what this Body will shortly be when it hath been six or eight days separated from my Soul how vile how loathsome that I may despise the Beauty and be dead to the Pleasures of the Body which so easily so suddenly so strangely may be changed For no Glass is more brittle no Bubble more vanishing no Ice more dissolving no Flower more fading no Shadow less substantial no Sleep or Dream more deceiving no Sound more transient nothing more vain and more uncertain than Life on which all other things in this World depend My days are as nothing saith Job though they lasted above two Ages There is hardly any thing very frail and feeble mutable and uncertain but the Spirit of God in Scripture sets forth the Vanity of Life by as if he would teach us by it from the Light of every perishing Object which our Eyes behold to reflect on our own Mortality We sleep every Night in the outer Chambers of Death And in some Diseases Sleep which is the image and Picture of Death is taken away to give place to the Original and make way for death And every year every week every day are we hastening to our final Change which may overtake us e're we are aware Every day we lose some part of our Lives in our very growth from Infancy to Manhood our Life decreases and grows less Every Pulse and Breath doth tell us we are hastening to the End of Time and calls upon us to dispatch our Work If we consider * Dr. Donn's Devotions Time to be the measure of Motion however it may seem to have three Stations Past Present and Future yet the First and Last of these are not one is not now and the other is not yet That which you call Present is not now the same it was when you began to call it so in this Line before you sound that word Present or the Monasyllable Now the Present and the Now is past If we consider Eternity into that Time never entred Eternity is not an Everlasting Flux of Time but Time is a short Parenthesis in a long Period and Eternity had been the same as it is tho' Time had never been If we consider not Eternity but Perpetuity which shall out live Time and be when Time shall be no more What a Minute is the Life of Man to that How soon must it end Every Word we speak is formed of that Breath whereby we live and we may not live to pronounce another Sentence but the Lamp of Life may be extinguisht and blown out by a sudden Blast Every thing we do carries away some Sands of our little Glass of Time and how little may remain Or how soon may the Glass be broken Our Souls are in our Bodies as a little Air inclosed in a thin Bubble how easily is that broken and where are we How many who are now alive in health and vigour who deliberate on their Meat and Drink and are curious of Air and Exercise to maintain themselves in Health and please themselves with the Dream of Years to come shall never see another New-years-day It may be not another Month or week or morrow Many have promised themselves great things on the morrow but dyed before
better be without If God receive my Soul and will raise my Body at the last day whether it putrifie and consume under ground or above it is no great matter They who are alive will be more concerned in that than I shall be Graves are for the sake of the Living rather than the Dead The Sun the Rain the Air Birds Beasts Worms will all contribute to give me Burial if Men deny it The only difference is that it will be a little longer e're I am buried If my Soul rest in the Bosom of my Saviour and by presevering in the love and practice of the Truth I have secured my Reputation with wise and good Men I need not be sollicitous what become of my Body My Almighty Judge will raise me a glorious Body like his own and reunite it to my Soul as easily as certainly as for any of those whose Bodies were preserved in Caves and Vaults in proud Sepulchers and under stately Monuments I may dye this Year and shall not then have the satisfaction to see my Children or nearest Kindred Educated and Provided for setled and disposed of But is not the everliving God the same Cannot he as well take care of them when I am gone as now answer all my Prayers after my decease and exercise that Fatherly Care Wisdom and Love which shall dispose of their Conditions save them from Temptations and supply all their Wants and exceed all my Desires in reference to them and fulfil his Covenant-promise from Generation to Generation to the Childrens Children of them that fear him O how weak is my Faith that cannot trust God in so common and plain a case Lastly I may dye this Year and not live to see the ruin of the Antichristian Kingdom and Interest and the accomplishment of many Excellent Promises which concern the Rest and Peace and Purity and Glory of the Churches of Christ on earth in the latter days But have I not deserved by my provoking Unbelief Ingratitude and Disobedience to dye in the Wilderness and not behold the promised Land or see the Peace of Jerusalem And will not the struglings of Satan to support Babylon infer a dismal night of darkness and distress before the expected Morning of Deliverance So that it may now if ever be truly said Henceforth Blessed are the Dead who dye in the Lord. And if God will take me to himself in the other World I cannot possibly be a loser Tho' I should not see the Beginnings of a New Heaven and a New Earth in this However I rejoyce in Hope and pray incessantly for the Resurrection of the Witnesses and the rebuilding of Sion and the more plentiful effusion of the Holy Spirit the great comprehensive Promise of the latter Times to effect a glorious Kingdom for Christ on Earth And my Faith assures me I shall hereafter see the Son of God revealed from Heaven cloathed with Majesty sitting on a Cloud leading the Heavenly Host raising the Dead by his powerful Voice summoning all the World to appear to Judgment gathering his Elect and finally destroying Death and him that had the Power of it the Devil condemning the wicked to everlasting Destruction but acquitting honouring and rewarding his poor Members with infinite and Eternal Blessedness SECT XV. Of Dying in a Foreign Country and of Dying Young Considerations proper to Reconcile the Mind to both I May not live to the end of this Year God in his Providence having called me abroad I may never see my Native Country more Let me still remember O my Soul that where ever I am I am travelling towards the Grave and passing to another World That I may live in all places as a Pilgrim and Stranger here on Earth with Affections suited to my condition becoming one who is travelling in a Strange Land Let me bear the Inconveniences I may meet with in this World as Strangers in their Travels are wont to do Let me not repine at the ill Accommodations of an Inn where I am to lodge but a night or two but encourage my self with the assurance of better Entertainment at home when my Pilgrimage is ended and my Journey over One of my dearest Holy Friends and Fellow Travellers whose memory will be ever precious (g) Mr. Thomas Bent who dyed at Geneva May 10. 1683. with those who knew him quickly arrived to his Journeys end and is entred into Rest betimes Which of his Companions shall next follow we know not or how soon Lord Make me apprehend the nearness of my change in every place and if I am prepared for dying no matter where it be There is no one Country farther from the Presence of God than another The whole World may be considered as one Great House and the several Kingdoms and Countries of it but as different Apartments in the same House and they who tarry at home are no more exempt from Death than they who travel abroad The Earth is the Lords and the fullness thereof I can go no where to be out of his Territories I shall still tread upon my Father's Ground I had rather be an Israelite in a Wilderness with the Presence of God than a Courtier in idolatrous Aegypt Abraham the Father of the Faithful and the Friend of God was banished from his own Country and should I never set foot again on my native Soyl there is no reason of murmuring against my God who hath dealt thus with many of his Favourites And while I have been in a strange Land he hath not suffered me to feel the wants and necessities and heart of a Stranger Among a People of a strange Language he can and doth provide for me all things richly to enjoy I may set up my Ebenezer hitherto hath God supplied all my wants The Presence of my Gracious Father is every where the same in some measure Blessed be my God I have hitherto found it so And may I not rejoyce in God in a Desert though all the World should forsake me though all the World should be against me Should I have no other Friend or Helper is not God an infinite God Enough and without his Favour and Presence what can all this World do for me If I am sick and in danger of Death among my Relations and Friends if the comforts of the Almighty do not refresh and delight my Soul they cannot And if I want not these in my last Agonies no matter in what part or corner of the Earth I breath my last If the word and promise of God be my Foundation an holy Hope my Anchor Christ my Pilot and Heaven my Country I shall not fail of being landed there at last Suffer me not to forsake thee O Heavenly Father while I live and do not thou forsake me in my last Hour and let it come when and where thou wilt If my blessed Saviour will receive my departing Soul at Death I am not sollicitous in what Country or part of the Earth it be And that
I may not be unwilling in the flower of my Age and Time in Youth and Strength to leave this World let me think often that no one age or part of Life is more priviledged against the stroke of Death than another If I have done my work betimes as my deceased Fellow Traveller had is it not better to receive the blessed Recompence than to to tarry longer in a World of Sin and Suffering absent from the Lord Shall I not thereby escape a multitude of Temptations Sins and Sorrows which others by living longer are exposed to If my Peace be made with God what should make me willing to live at this distance from him What should render this World so desirable where God is so dishonoured where I am so often tempted to displease him and so often yield to such Temptations And may I not fear lest I should fall into such scandalous and grievous sins that may bring a publick reproach on the Gospel of Christ and sadden the Hearts of all my Acquaintance who love the Lord Jesus in sincerity By dying early I shall contract less guilt and commit less sin and see and feel less Sorrow than others who live longer And tho' I should maintain my Integrity yet in this World my highest love and obedience to God and my sweetest Communion with him is but imperfect How many Impediments and Diversions do I daily meet with that deaden my Heart to Heavenly Contemplations and Affections What disappointments and sorrowful disasters to convince me that this is not the place of Rest and Happiness What smart afflictions may some of my Relations prove What dangerous Snares may attend me in the remaining Portion of my Time What Opposition and Hatred from Men may the stedfast professing of the Truth and Fidelity to God expose me to what Publick National Calamities may I have my share in c. But if I consider Old Age it self which we do desire to reach what and how many are the Infirmities and Griefs and troublesome Circumstances which attend that State which dying young will prevent Are not most Men who reach a very great old Age helpless Objects of Pity A Burthen to themselves and to all about them And which commonly happens may I not then be as unwilling to dye as at present As loth then to leave the World as now tho' in a manner it will have left me For how many Old Men past the Relish of Sensual Pleasures are yet inordinately fond of a longer Life Have I not been told by Heathens as well as Christians that 't is not the length of time but it 's improvement that doth really make a Long Life If I have answered the Ends for which I were born 't is not too soon to dye No Man ever miscarried as to his Everlasting Interest because his Life was Short but Evil. He that is prepared for Death he that dyes in the Lord hath lived long enough and should thank God for a speedy Call to the Possession of that Felicity which the Holiest Saints on Earth desire and breath after Gideon lost nothing by returning from Victory while the Sun was yet high He hath fought long enough who hath gained the Victory If I have wrought but a few Hours in a Vineyard and done but little Service for my Lord and Master and yet am dismist and rewarded before the rest of my Fellow-Labourers shall I repine and think my Lord doth not befriend me If he hath any farther Service for me he will prolong my Days and make me Diligent I hope and contented Otherwise I pray he would make me ready to dye and make me willing and desirous to depart this Life For to be only content to dye that I may be perfectly Holy and fully Blessed is methinks too low for a Christian who acts like himself believing the Certainty of his avowed Principles and Hopes and knowing that While we are present in the Body we are absent from the Lord. SECT XVI The Contemplation of our Approaching Change may assist us to mortifie the Lusts of the Flesh the Lust of the Eyes and the Pride of Life to cure Ambition and promote Contentment ALL that is in the World saith the Apostle is the Lust of the Flesh the Lust of the Eyes and the Pride of Life The Dust and Ashes of our own Mortality duly considered and applied will help to deaden and extinguish each of these By Pride of Life we lift up our selves against Heaven and despise our Maker by the Lust of the Flesh we overlove and indulge the Body and study to gratifie the sensual Appetite By the Lust of the Eyes our Desires are immoderate after Temporal and External Goods The thought of our approaching End hath a Tendency to oppose and mortifie these Lusts to humble us before God to take us off from the inordinate Love of the Body and to moderate our Passions to Earthly Things It may help us against Pride by shewing us the infinite distance between the Eternal Self-sufficient God and such poor Dust as we who are but of Yesterday and if he uphold us not and maintain our Souls in Life shall be laid in the Dust to Morrow It will mind us of his Justice against Sin the Parent of Death and of all the Miseries of our mortal State and convince us of our Weakness to resist his Will or avoid his Wrath. As to our fond Affection to the Body it may instruct us that it deserves not to be so much accounted of it will open our Eyes to discern the Preference of our immortal Souls and what Concerns them to the Interest of a perishing Body It may convince us that we are Cruel and unkind to our very Bodies by overloving them because we thereby contribute to their Eternal Sufferings and so teach us to love and use our Bodies as Servants to our Souls in this World and as expecting to share in Glory with them after the Resurrection It may also help to moderate our Desires after Earthly Good and so cure the Lust of the Eyes by letting us see the Vanity Uncertainty and short Duration of these Things and their Insufficiency to make us Happy and give us true Content The Thoughts of an Approaching Change may if any thing will do it damp the Mirth of the Luxurious Epicure and strike him into a fit of Trembling as did Belshazzar's Hand-writing on the Wall It may discover the Distraction of living in Pleasure and of Care to please the Senses and the fleshly Appetite when the End is so near It may likewise check the Folly of Ambitious Designs that Men should make so much ado to get into slippery Places from whence they may so easily fall Where being puft up with vain Applause they forget themselves and their latter End 'till their Life and Glory expire together Where are now the Great and Mighty and Honourable who have made such a Noise in the World What is now the Difference between the Dust of
What will be the next Word O my Soul how much am I concerned to know it Will it be Blessedness or Misery Will it be Life or Death This one Word is the Joy of Angels and the Horror of Devils the Unspeakable Delight of Blessed Saints and the Confusion and Despair of Condemned Sinners At the Creation of the World Time got the start of us and was five days elder than we but our Immortal Souls shall endure beyond the utmost Limits of Time and last as long as the Everlasting Father of Spirits of whose Duration there is no End Shall I then exist and live though my Body perish and see Corruption Shall my Soul my Self exist beyond the Grave in Felicity or Misery and that for ever and according to my present Actions What am I then most concerned to mind What am I to chuse What am I most to fear to wish to do What is a Shadow of Honour and Reputation among dying Men What are a few Drops of fleshly Pleasure for a Moment to Eternal Rivers of Pleasure at God's right Hand What are the sufferings of an Hour or two to the Pains and Anguish of Eternity What can the World Flesh or Devil give me comparable to Eternal Life What can I suffer in the way of Holiness that may be set in the Balance against an Everlasting Hell And yet how often O my Soul how boldly how unconcernedly how foolishly do I hazard the One and forfeit the Other for the Sins and Vanities of this World Whereas one Prospect of Eternity should make every thing that is Temporal appear little in my Eyes The highest Elevations of Earthly Greatness Abundance of Riches the Great Affairs Business and Employments of the World Pomp and Splendor and Reputation and all that now flatters the Senses and the Vanity of Mankind Oh! that I could but live as believing and expecting an Eternal State as having it in my Eye managing all my Affairs with a Visible Reference to it discovering to all the World by my Behaviour and Deportment that I do in earnest believe it certain for be it never so Certain if I do not apprehend and consider it as such it will no more affect me than a Fable Neither is it enough to consider it as certain but as near For the most weighty the most terrible things apprehended as at a great distance will little move Thinking of the long Interval between the advantage of being exempted from such Evils for so long a time will please me more than such distant Calamities will affright Let me therefore endeavour to impress the consideration of Eternity as at hand more deeply on my Heart that I may walk and live discourse and pray and demean my self in every thing as near an unchangeable State Am I not convinced that this is certain from the nature and operations of my Soul from the reflections of Conscience from the Righteousness of God in his Government of the World from the present unequal distributions of Good and Evil by his Providence and from the plain and frequent assertions of his Revealed Will I have nothing to object nothing to reply but I find a necessity of inculcating and urging the consideration of it in order to its influence I find it needful to reflect often how near I am to such an endless State that in one Instant by Death I enter upon it And that this Instant may be as near me as my next Thoughts That the holy Scripture describes the two contrary Conditions after Death and every Man and Woman in the World shall share in one of them as both Everlasting the one by Eternal Life Eternal Glory an incorruptible Crown that fadeth not away an incorruptible Inheritance an House Eternal in the Heavens c. the other by unquenchable Fire a Prison whence no escape Eternal Damnation Everlasting Burning Everlasting Punishment Everlasting Destruction a Worm that never dies wrath that is ever to come blackness of darkness for ever ever c. Think O my Soul that in One of these two contrary States I must abide for ever in endless Joy or Sorrow Blessed in the Presence of God or for ever banished from it And whoever thou art that readest this apply it seriously to thy self 't is thine own case Yea I tell thee from God that Holiness of Heart and Life is absolutely Necessary to the former and that without it thou shalt never see his Face but be punished with Everlasting Destruction from the Presence of his Glory Is this an Unquestionable Truth O let me consider it till I feel the Power and Efficacy of so Important a Principle let the Impression be Deep and Lasting let it pierce and enter into my very Soul to cool the Heats of Lust to quench Sensual and Earthly desires and to mortifie all Inordinate Affections to this World and fix my Resolutions to mind and seek Eternal Life with all my Heart These are not difficult and perplexed Niceties which wise and holy Men differ and disagree about They are not Metaphisical Subtleties which few can understand but the express Word of God and the daily Dictates of my own Reason and Conscience which all Christians and almost all Men in their Wits except in an Hour of great Temptation confess and own or whether they will or no are forced to expect and fear if they are not in a Condition to consider them with a joyful Hope Lord cure the unbelieving Doubts concerning these Great Things which notwithstanding the plainest Evidence the Devil may at any time suggest Iet a confirmed Faith be the Reality of what is thus future that my Soul may be influenc'd by them as it is wont to be by Things present Let it be the Substance of Things hoped for and the Evidence of Things unseen and as yet at a Distance as if the Day of Judgment were already come and there were no intermediate Time to pass between this and that O Eternity Eternity the more I consider it the more unfathomable still I find it Vnchangeable Blessedness or remediless endless Torments An Eternal Blissful Day or Everlasting Horror Darkness and Despair Life or Death Glory or Destruction to last as long as the Immutable Living God! None of the Patriarchs who lived longest arrived to the period of a Thousand Years which in comparison of God's Everlastingness is set forth but as one day But strictly considered Millions of Years and Ages have no proportion with it because no multiplication of them will amount to Eternity Whereas one Hour hath some proportion to an hundred thousand years because a certain number of Hours will amount to so many years But no number of Years or Ages never so often multiplied will make up Eternity As no substraction of Millions of Years will lessen it an entire Eternity will be still to come and will ever be to come When innumerable myriads of Years are past Eternity shall then seem but to begin because when as many more are over
it shall be as far from an end Oh! that the thoughts of Eternity may be powerful and prevailing above all others that I may Judge of every thing by its relation to it by its influence upon it Chuse now my Soul whether Everlasting Joys or Miseries shall be thy Portion But consider well that thine Eternity is concerned in thy present choice and that this choice must be pursued with stedfastness and constancy as long as I live And what are a few Years to prepare for an Eternal State Were we obliged to spend several hundred years in serious humble preparation for it with the greatest strictness and severity of Life during all that Time it were infinitely less than to spend an hour or two in preparing for the greatest Dignity and Imploy on Earth which can be enjoyed but for a few years at longest For to these an hour hath some proportion but an hundred or thousand years have hone with an Everlasting Duration Therefore to consider how many years of toyl and pains and diligence many bestow on the probable prospect of some Temporal Good should reprove and shame my negligence and remisness in providing for Eternity SECT XIX The Punishments of the Damned considered as Intolerable and Everlasting and as unquestionably certain What the Reflection upon Hell-Torments may and ought to teach us THE Fear of the Lord is the Beginning of Wisdom the entrance into the way of Life as it is ordinarily one of the first Means to awaken the Soul to a serious Concern for Eternity Let me therefore first consider the Endless Punishment of the Wicked in the other World before I enter upon the ravishing Prospect of the Blessedness of Heaven promised to the Righteous And with what serious Trembling should I think of the Terrors of an Everlasting Destruction which our Lord shall be revealed from Heaven to render to All who know not God and obey not the Gospel When the wicked shall go away into Everlasting Punishment as the Righteous into Life Eternal The Dreadfulness of that Punishment the Endless Duration of it joyned to the Consideration of its Unquestionable Certainty deserves the most Attentive Thoughts of every Man who loves his Soul and would manifest he doth so by securing his greatest Interest The Description of that Misery under Insupportable and Eternal Torments demands more than a Transient View because no words can sufficiently express the Horror of that State What is it O my Soul to be banished from the Blessed Sight and Presence of God for ever and all the Impressions of his Holy Image and Likeness and to know that this is the Fruit of my own Choice that I lost it by my own Fault and Folly that I deserved to lose it that the Sentence is as Just as it is Irrecoverable Who can fully imagine the dismal Despair of a Condemned Sinner under the Anguish of a Guilty Self-accusing Mind while under the Stroke of God's Almighty Revenging Justice with a Distincter View and Knowledge than now of God and his Excellencies of himself and his own Vileness and Malignity which must greatly increase his Rage and Torment Add to this his being enraged by the Accusations and Cries of wicked Acquaintance and Relations and his being mockt and insulted over and tortured by malicious damned Spirits with a clear Understanding of that glorious Felicity he despised refused and forfeited with a deep Sense of his former Madness in preferring the Sinful Pleasures and Advantages of this World and this after so many Warnings and Invitations and Calls from God to have prevented it and never to be diverted one moment from the Consideration Sense and Feeling of his Misery and the duration of it to have all his Passions let loose with the greatest violence and nothing to satisfie them and continually to preserve an Hell of wickedness and Horror in himself and to endure the reproaches convictions regrets and stinging Reflections of Conscience the gnawing Worm which shall never die Who can conceive the unspeakable misery of such an accursed State So great Calamity and yet Everlasting How long doth one Day or Night now seem to a Man under some violent racking Pain in any one part of his Body tho' he be under the means for Cure and have his Friends about him to pity comfort assist him with the hopes of Ease in a little while and the certain knowledge that it cannot last long Oh! what then will be the dismal state of tormented (h) See Mr. Baxter 's Saints Rest part 2 Chap. 4. Sinners in Hell How infinitely must it exceed the most terrible idea we can now frame of it to languish out a long Eternity in that Gulph of Darkness and Despair under unpitied intolerable Torments without Intermission or Hope of End Miseries without Measure Judgment without Mercy Pains and Sorrows intense and yet endless without the least Succour or Relief Relaxation or Remedy Diminution or Change without a Drop of Comfort without a Moments Rest without the smallest Beam of Light or the least Glimmering of Hope Perpetually dying and never dead under unsufferable Wrath which yet will be for ever Wrath to come seeking Death and never able to find it but Eternally to endure all that Calamity which the Conjunction of Death and Life together can render dreadful What Groans and Cries will these Thoughts and these Sufferings wring from their Hearts But no Refuge will then be found no Excuses admitted no Prayers no Entreaties will then prevail no Tears move Pity He that made them will shew them no Mercy and he that formed them will shew them no Favour 'T is Never Never that is the killing Word that breaks the Heart of those hopeless Prisoners in the Place of Torment When once deliver'd over to that Prison of God's Wrath they shall no longer be Prisoners of Hope Judgment shall be brought forth unto final Victory and the Redemption of the Soul shall cease for ever The vain Hopes of Sinners shall then be ended in Eternal Desperation Hell will be full of those who did once hope they should never come there And full of those who despair of Deliverance from thence but shall suffer exquisitive Pains that cannot be numbred or measured or endured but that every Minute of an Hour will seem an whole Year and yet must eternally be endured by miserable Sinners who will not be wise in time to prevent such an intollerable Portion Let me therefore O my Soul descend into Hell by Meditation whilst I live that I may not descend thither when I dye and be shut up for ever in that Prison the Place of Endless Torment Might we but suppose that one of those Miserable Souls did let fall but one Tear in an Hundred Thousand Years and if after he had by this means wept so much as that his Tears would equal the Drops of Water in the whole Sea his Misery should have an End this were Hope this were Comfort But alas after that Period his
Misery will be as far from an End as when he first began to feel it It will then be but the Beginning of Sorrows which will Never Never Never End Think O my Soul that this is the Portion of the Sinners Cup this is the Wages of Sin and the certain Doom of final Impenitence and Unbelief 'T is no Politick Cheat or Melancholly Dream but the express repeated Word of God and Christ the Holy Prophets and Apostles and the Voice of Reason too Supposing but the Immortality of the Soul and the Power of Self-Reflection the Punishment of Sinners must needs be Everlasting as carrying continually an Hell within them unless God work a Miracle to prevent it which there is no Ground to imagine he will or Shadow of Reason why he should God hath pawn'd his Truth and his (*) Deut. 32. c. 40 41. Eternity to execute this Sentence of his threatned Wrath. He is a God of Infinite Mercy 't is true but he hath told us how far his Merey shall extend He will not exercise one Attribute to the dishonour and the disparagement of the rest That obstinate and impenitent Sinners shall thus perish is not because the goodness and mercy of God are not infinite but because his other Perfections are so viz. His Holiness Justice Truth Soveraignty and Wisdom Was it Wisdom and Goodness to annex such a Penalty to the violaion of his Law and can it be inconsistent with them to inflict his threatned wrath Shall we suppose God to uphold his Dominion and Government by a Falshood to keep the World in awe by the menaces of such punishment as shall no where never be executed Is it unlikely that God should exercise so much severity and is it not as improbable that his repeated Word and Oath should prove false Is it not a righteous thing with God as the Governour of the World thus to punish the obstinate Despisers of his Grace who slighted his Authority disobeyed his Law affronted his Soveraignty derided his Power denied his Truth contradicted his Holiness and joined Issue with the Devil to pull him from his Throne who abused his Patience and Long-suffering and scorned all his threatnings who thrust away their own happiness and would not take warning who burst all his bands asunder and broke through all obstructions and would not be stopt in their course of Vanity and Folly or so much as consider the danger who rejected his calls to Repentance and refused his Mercy when it was offered and preferred a Lust before his favour and the Pleasures and Profits of this World before the Heavenly Glory and notwithstanding all the methods of his Grace and the checks of his Providence and of their own Conscience they will go on they will dye Let me O my Soul adore the Soveraign Justice of God in all his Judgments and tremble at the threatnings of that Eternal Wrath which so few consider or believe till 't is too late Let the foresight and the fear of such an intollerable endless Punishment be a means to save me from it Let me herein read the evil of Sin and learn to abhor and avoid it Let me pity and warn and counsel and pray for those of my Relations and Acquaintance who live in Sin and run the Hazard of this Eternal Ruin Let me not envy the foolish Mirth and momentany Prosperity of the Wicked whose present Joy must e're long expire and an Everlasting Destruction succeed in its room (*) Job 20. Chap. 4 5. How short is the Joy of the Hypocrite and the Triumph of the Wicked is but for a Moment Let me fear and dread every thing that leads to this dismal Issue and improve every thing that may help me to escape it And by Consequence let me less value all the Good and Evil of this present Life judge of all things by this Light be patient under Temporal Calamities and thank God that it is not Hell and thank him more that present Sufferings do help to save me from Eternal Ones Whatever I can suffer in this World let my Condition be never so dark and sad and afflicted it is not it cannot be such but that every one of the Damned would think it an infinite Happiness to exchange with me and be as I am Let me think of those Exquisite and Eternal Flames to cure my Impatience under the sharpest Tryals and Afflictions I may now suffer Did I believingly Consider an Everlasting Hell * Qui non expergiscitur ad haec Tonitrua jam non dormit sed mortuus est S. Augustine I should not think much of any thing that is required to prevent it The severest Exercises of Religion the strictest Temperance the nicest Chastity the largest Charity the greatest Self-denial all the Hardships of Repentance and Mortification and Continuance therein to the Death tho' for many Years more than I am like to live would be reckon'd easie as well as just if set in the Ballance against the Eternal Mischiefs of the Damned What will not Men do and suffer to prevent a Temporal Death They will endure a painful Course of Physick tear out their very Bowels by Purges and Vomits and are content to be cut and scarrified and to suffer any thing almost to save their Lives But how little will they do to be saved from the Wrath to come One would think they should have no Rest or Peace or be able to live a quiet Hour 'till they had made some Provision against the Hazard of this Eternal Destruction and look upon all Men as their Friends or Enemies according to the Help or Hindrance they received from them in reference to it But the direct Contrary is every where apparent Men are careless and secure jovial and merry in the Way that leads to Hell and esteem and love and chuse that Company that will help to bring them to this Place of Torment Yea such is their Stupidity and strange Perverseness that they will not suffer to be told of their Danger If you tell them that by such a Course or such an Action they will lose so much Money or their Lives will be in Danger they reckon it an Obligation will take it kindly and return you Thanks But when they are told by such Courses and Actions they will lose their Souls and the Favour of God and the Hopes of Heaven and must perish for Ever this they will not receive they despise the Message and scorn and hate the Messenger are displeased and angry at such Faithfulness O bless the Lord O my Soul for any good hope through Grace of escaping this Intolerable and Endless Misery And let all that is within me bless his Holy Name I have deserved the same endless and unsupportable Wrath which Thousands are now under and shall be under to all Eternity but he did not suffer me to fall into it To be delivered out of those Torments after many Years Misery would be thought an admirable unspeakable Kindness
can give besides will not make me happy In Thee therefore I would terminate all my Affections all my Devotions There is nothing of Heaven to be had on Earth but in thy Favour Image and Love and the reviving Sense of it And all the Heaven I expect hereafter 't is in the more full and immediate Communications of these in thy blessed Presence I can desire nothing upon Earth I can injoy nothing in Heaven but Thee both here and there thou art and shalt ever be my All-sufficient Satisfactory Portion my Everlasting All None else can be the Portion of my Soul Nothing else can fill up all its Wants answer all its Cravings be suited to all its Capacities appease and charm all its restless Motions and give Complacence to all its Desires and be the proper Object of all its Affections What is there else can justly claim my Love or pretend to my Supreme Affection in comparison with God Thou art alone the proper Center of it Thine Infinite and Incomparable Excellencies who art Love it self deserve my choicest Love and thy numberless Mercies and Benefits challenge it as a just Debt as a piece of Homage due from all and of special Gratitude also from me Oh that I could love Thee above all things who alone art worthy of all my Love O that Divine Love might be the ruling Principle within me to inspire all my Thoughts to regulate all my Desires to set all the Powers of my Soul on Work O that it might take the full Possession of my Heart and so animate and order all my Actions to please him whom my Soul loveth If as yet I cannot say with thine Apostle Lord thou that knowest all things thou knowest that I love thee Yet I can say Lord thou knowest that I would love thee Thou hast provided for our Happiness by that first and great Command of loving thee with all our Hearts and Souls and Strength But alas how backward is my sluggish carnal Heart to this Delightful Exercise Tho' I have so oft been told that God is Love and that He that dwelleth in Love dwelleth in God and God in him O shed abroad thy Love into my Soul that I may feel the Vital Power and Influence of it and live continually in the Love of God and that nothing may ever be able to separate me from it Whom have I in Heaven or Earth to Hope in but Thee I expect more from Creatures than they can or will perform but God can do for me more abundantly than I can ask or think exceed my largest Thoughts out strip my highest Expectations And no Man was ever disappointed who made Thee his Hope When I meet with Crosses and Wrongs Unfaithfulness Contempt Hatred and Persecution from Men I need not wonder I was never told by God it would be otherwise here Did I look for less from Creatures and expect more from God Did I reckon this World to be a State of Trial and not a Place of Rest and Satisfaction my Faith and my Desires would be stronger with respect to God and Heaven and Temporal Calamities and Disappointment less afflictive and Vexatious And what is there O Lord in Heaven or in Earth my Soul can desire besides Thee Is there any thing desireable but as it is thine of thee and from thee And bears some Impression of thine Excellence or brings some Intimation of thy Love And what can I reasonably desire what that is worth desiring or having but thou art able to be and do and give In whom or what shall I Rejoyce but in Thee O Lord shall I solace my self in Transitory Goods that slip between my Fingers and perish in the Using or relish Carnal Joys which pollute and debase the Soul When I may and ought to Rejoyce in Thee at all Times as the only Source of Perfect Everlasting Joy Let me then stir up my Drooping Desponding Unbelieving Heart to rejoyce in God who takes Pleasure in the chearful Service and Obedience of his Children who delighteth in those who delight in him Is not * Vid. Mr. How Of delighting in God Delighting in God a most Essential Vital Part of Religion Should it not be my Constant Frame Hath not God sufficiently provided that it may be so Can I say and believe that God is the Portion of my Soul that he is my God and I hope to live with him for ever and not Rejoyce Or can I consider the Grace of the new Covenant the matchless Love of Christ and the precious Promises of the Gospel and not see reason to Rejoyce Yea doth my Soul love God and endeavour to please him and is not the very Act and Exercise of holy Love mixt with unspeakable sweetness Whom is there in Heaven or in Earth or Hell that I ought to Fear but Thee Who hast a Negative Voice in all the Designs of Men and Devils an Hook in their Nostrils a Bridle in their Mouths to make them fulfil thy Pleasure and in every thing accomplish thy Sovereign Decree Is there any other in whom I may repose my Trust but in Thee O Lord the Rock of Ages The might of thy Power the Unsearchabless of thy Wisdom the Righteousness of thy Nature the Stability of thy Truth the Riches of thy Grace and the Immutability of thy Promises are a sure Foundation for my Soul to trust to and relye upon Thy word stands firm for ever and the Truth of thine Ability and Readiness to help in every Time of Need Endures the same throughout all Generations At all Times and in all Places my Soul may trust in Thee and find Relief And they who know thy Name will do so for in the Lord Jehovah is Everlasting Kindness and Strength To answer all my Doubts to supply all my Wants and fulfil all my Desires May not God take it unkindly that I trust him no more And is it not a criminal Unkindness that I give him not the Glory of all these excellent Attributes which are the grounds of Trust by a constant steady intire Dependance on him for all that I need I have none in Heaven but Thee O Lord as the Object of my Invocation and Worship Let other Christians have Recourse to New Mediators and call upon other Gods I will make mention of thy Name and of thy Righteousness only And ask of Thee whatsoever I need for the sake of thy Christ my only Adorable Mediator Him thou hearest alway with him thou art always well pleased I honour the Holy Angels as Glorious Attendants about thy Throne and bless thee for them as Ministring Spirits for the Good of thy Servants but I dare not invoke or worship 'em because they are Fellow Servants On the same Account I honour the Memory of Departed Saints but neither invoke them or pay them Religious Worship That Glory thou wilt not give unto another I have no Precept in Holy Scripture to direct no Promise to encourage no Example to authorize the
fully known What inexpressible Sweetness might Believers tast by rejoycing in Hope did a more lively Faith realize all this to their Souls We might listen as it were to the Shouts and Acclamations of the Saints above and say Amen to their Thanksgivings We might behold them about the Throne of God and of the Lamb with Psalms of Victory in their Hands a Crown of Glory on their Heads and Songs of Triumph in their Mouths saying Allelujah * Rev. 4. c. 11. 5. c. 12 13. Worthy art thou O Lord to receive Glory and Honour and Power for thou hast created all things and for thy Pleasure they are and were created And worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive Power and Riches and Wisdom and Strength and Honour and Glory and Blessing And again Blessing Honour Glory and Power be unto him who sits upon the Throne and to the Lamb for ever and ever Whence is it O my Soul if indeed I believe and expect all this that I can Hear and Read and Think and Speak of these great Things with no more ardent Affections suitable Preparations importunate Prayers and vigorous Desires How should the believing Thoughts of that Day promote my Heavenly-mindedness Self-denial Contempt of the World Patience and Perseverance Quicken my Zeal secure my Stedfastness and give Life and Spirit to my Prayers for the hastening of it How should my Soul rise towards Heaven by holy Love and Desire Ascend and meet him get as near him as I can breathe after more of his Presence and beg him to prepossess my Heart to anticipate his second Coming by clearer Discoveries of his Love and fuller Communications of his Grace Even so Come Lord Jesus XXIV Concerning the Examination of a man's Heart and Life the Reasonableness Advantages and Necessity of it Some Direction and Advice concerning the Time and Manner That we may know in what Preparedness we are for Eternity I Am hastening every Year every Day to the period of this Life I must shortly appear before my Glorious Judge and experience these Terrors or Comforts this Blessedness or Misery which I have now read of Shall I not therefore inquire which of the two belongs to me Is it not worth considering whither I must go and how I shall fare when I quit this Body What is like to be my next Habitation To which of the two unchangeable States I shall be adjudg'd Shall an Inquiry of so much consequence be put off to an indefinite hereafter Do I not desire to know the worst while a remedy may be found Or am I content to dye through an unwillingness to discover that I am Sick The Question to be resolved is of infinite weight Shall I not spend a few hours to know what will become of me for ever An error is more than possible 't is easie to mistake and the hazard of doing so is unspeakeably great How many thousands perish eternally even under the Light of the Gospel who never suspected their Danger How ordinary how common a thing is it for Men to be thus deceived How successful is the Devil in this Stratagem against the Souls of Men Is it not then a most criminal Stupidity to be contentedly ignorant and unresolved whether I am reconciled to God or no whether I am led by the Flesh or by the Spirit whether I am in the broad or narrow way which lead to such contrary ends that is whether if I die in this condition I shall be saved or perish Can such an enquiry be frivolous or indifferent Is the subject of it so contemptible or my concern in it so small that it merits not to be attentively considered Shall I never ask my Soul till I am leaving this World the unfittest time of all to begin so important an Affair what am I To whom do I belong Whose Image do I bear How have I lived and what do I do What do I love most What do I most constantly desire and chuse and seek How doth the Pulse of my Soul beat Is it quickest towards God or towards the World Whither am I going What will be the final upshot and issue of my present course Is it Heaven or Hell I must be translated to by dying What security have I got for Eternal Life What provisions have I made What Foundation have I laid How strangely infatuated are most Men who talk of an Everlasting Life as an Article of their Creed and say they count upon it that they must dwell in Happiness or Misery for ever and seldom or never bethink themselves in good earnest and for any time with a setled composed exercise of thoughts which of these Two is like to be their Lot Or if they begin to search and try themselves they come to no Conclusion or conclude too hastily they pluck off the Plaister as soon as it begins to smart they are either frighted with the horrid prospect of past Crimes or having escap'd the grosser Pollutions of the World judge too favourably of their own case They commonly do the Work but by halves and so go from the Glass and forget what manner of Persons they were Let me therefore O my Soul Sequester my self from the World to commune with my own Heart to reflect upon my past Life and look into my present State to recollect and review the most considerable Passages of my course and time hitherto O how neglected and disused a Practice is this which doth challenge and require our principal and most serious Concerns about it And how many begin it and are discouraged and leave off without reaching the end of such an Enquiry How much wiser in this respect are the Children of this World in their Generation than the Children of Light Who is so exact in his Accompts between God and his own Soul as Tradesmen in their Dealings with one another Who is at the pains to write down his Sins and his Mercies the grounds of his Fear and the Encouragements of his Hope or keeps a Journal and Diary of his Spiritual State Who doth at set times once a Month or once a Quarter or even once a Year take a just view of himself his Heart and Life and State as a Christian that he may see what he hath received and done what he owes and what he may expect that he may know whether he thrive or decay whether he increase or decrease whether he go backward or forward whether he be Richer or Poorer this Year than the last And is it not a Symptom that you are declining when you love not to examine your Accounts Is there not ground of jealousie and suspicion that you are behind-hand because you are loth to inquire whether you are or no And unwilling to know the worst of your Condition Nevertheless without such Enquiries and bringing the matter to a Determination at what uncertainties must we live And how unconceivable an hazard do all Hypocrites and unrenewed Sinners run And how reasonable how