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whensoever_o the_o grace_n of_o almighty_a god_n be_v hide_v from_o she_o and_o this_o kind_n of_o consideration_n use_v not_o to_o put_v i_o to_o any_o trouble_n at_o all_o for_o the_o behold_v my_o own_o baseness_n after_o this_o manner_n be_v wont_a to_o give_v i_o a_o kind_n of_o satisfaction_n at_o other_o time_n i_o find_v myself_o so_o as_o that_o i_o be_o utter_o unable_a to_o frame_v any_o distinct_a or_o form_v conceit_n of_o almighty_a god_n nor_o indeed_o of_o any_o good_a thing_n after_o a_o staid_a manner_n nor_o be_o i_o able_a then_o to_o put_v myself_o in_o prayer_n though_o i_o
which_o be_v but_o a_o kind_n of_o shadow_n of_o such_o thing_n as_o be_v suffer_v in_o that_o place_n she_o begin_v also_o to_o declare_v the_o way_n and_o manner_n how_o that_o monastery_n be_v found_v in_o auila_n under_o the_o name_n of_o s._n joseph_n after_o a_o long_a time_n when_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v already_o do_v i_o many_o of_o those_o favour_n which_o i_o have_v here_o relate_v as_o other_o also_o which_o be_v very_o great_a i_o find_v one_o day_n whilst_o i_o be_v in_o prayer_n though_o i_o can_v not_o tell_v how_o that_o i_o be_v place_v in_o hell_n and_o i_o understand_v that_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v see_v the_o place_n which_o the_o party_n devil_n have_v prepare_v for_o i_o and_o which_o i_o have_v deserve_v for_o my_o she_o sin_n this_o last_v but_o a_o very_a little_a space_n of_o time_n but_o yet_o if_o i_o shall_v live_v many_o year_n i_o hold_v it_o for_o a_o impossible_a thing_n that_o ever_o i_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o forget_v it_o the_o entry_n thereof_o seem_v body_n to_o i_o to_o be_v after_o the_o manner_n of_o a_o long_a and_o straight_o lane_n or_o rather_o as_o if_o it_o have_v be_v a_o low_a narrow_a long_a and_o dark_a oven_n the_o ground_n seem_v to_o be_v as_o if_o it_o have_v be_v like_o water_n all_o thicken_a with_o dirt_n and_o it_o be_v both_o very_a filthy_a and_o of_o a_o most_o pestilential_a smell_n and_o have_v a_o multitude_n of_o loathsome_a vermin_n as_o fly_n and_o worm_n and_o such_o other_o ugly_a creature_n in_o it_o at_o the_o end_n of_o it_o there_o be_v a_o certain_a hollow_a place_n as_o if_o it_o have_v be_v a_o kind_n of_o a_o little_a press_n in_o a_o wall_n into_o which_o i_o see_v myself_o crowd_v with_o great_a constraint_n now_o all_o that_o be_v even_o delightful_a to_o the_o sight_n in_o comparison_n of_o what_o i_o feel_v there_o and_o this_o which_o i_o have_v say_v of_o it_o already_o i_o also_o find_v to_o be_v very_o imperfect_o describe_v but_o as_o for_o the_o feel_v part_n the_o very_a beginning_n to_o say_v what_o it_o be_v be_v a_o thing_n which_o can_v neither_o be_v well_o no_o nor_o even_o almost_o at_o all_o relate_v as_o it_o be_v indeed_o in_o regard_n that_o i_o feel_v a_o certain_a fire_n in_o my_o very_a soul_n though_o yet_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o declare_v it_o as_o indeed_o it_o be_v for_o all_o those_o almost_o insupportable_a torment_n which_o i_o have_v feel_v with_o all_o extremi_fw-la tie_n in_o this_o life_n and_o whereof_o the_o physician_n be_v wont_a to_o affirm_v that_o even_o in_o the_o corporeal_a way_n they_o be_v the_o great_a which_o can_v be_v suffer_v in_o this_o world_n as_o namely_o that_o shrinking-up_a of_o all_o my_o sinew_n when_o i_o instant_o grow_v lame_a by_o it_o beside_o many_o other_o torment_n in_o several_a kind_n as_o also_o that_o i_o have_v be_v vex_v much_o by_o the_o devil_n be_v all_o no_o more_o then_o absolute_o just_a nothing_o in_o comparison_n of_o what_o i_o feel_v in_o that_o place_n beside_o my_o know_v with_o all_o this_o that_o no_o part_n of_o it_o be_v ever_o to_o cease_v but_o to_o continue_v without_o ever_o have_v a_o end_n and_o yet_o even_o all_o this_o which_o i_o have_v say_v be_v also_o nothing_o in_o comparison_n of_o that_o continual_a agonize_a of_o the_o soul_n that_o press_v that_o stifle_v which_o be_v so_o very_o sensible_a a_o affliction_n together_o with_o that_o desperate_a kind_n of_o discontent_n and_o disgust_v and_o repine_v which_o i_o be_o no_o way_n able_a to_o express_v for_o to_o say_v that_o it_o be_v a_o continual_a tear_v of_o the_o soul_n into_o fitter_n be_v to_o say_v little_a since_o in_o that_o case_n it_o seem_v that_o it_o must_v be_v some_o other_o body_n who_o tear_n it_o but_o in_o this_o the_o soul_n itself_o be_v the_o very_a executioner_n which_o even_o tear_v itself_o there_o be_v beside_o all_o that_o another_o strange_a ingredient_n which_o be_v that_o interior_a kind_n of_o fire_n and_o that_o unspeakable_a despair_n upon_o those_o intolerable_a torment_n and_o sorrow_n i_o see_v not_o who_o it_o be_v that_o inflict_v these_o thing_n but_o i_o think_v i_o find_v myself_o to_o be_v slice_v and_o mince_a and_o press_v and_o burn_v all_o at_o once_o and_o i_o say_v and_o say_v again_o that_o that_o interior_a fire_n and_o despair_n be_v the_o very_o worst_a of_o it_o all_o whilst_o i_o be_v in_o this_o most_o pestilential_a place_n and_o that_o without_o any_o possibility_n of_o ever_o so_o much_o as_o once_o hope_v for_o any_o comfort_n at_o all_o there_o be_v no_o such_o thing_n to_o be_v think_v of_o as_o sit_v or_o extend_v myself_o nor_o be_v there_o any_o place_n void_a to_o receive_v one_o though_o yet_o they_o have_v put_v i_o into_o that_o thing_n which_o be_v like_o a_o hole_n in_o a_o wall_n because_o even_o those_o very_a wall_n which_o be_v also_o most_o hideous_a to_o the_o sight_n do_v even_o press_v their_o very_a self_n close_o towards_o and_o upon_o one_o another_o and_o every_o thing_n there_o help_v to_o choke_v there_o be_v also_o no_o light_n in_o that_o place_n but_o all_o be_v gross_a and_o even_o palpable_a darkness_n for_o my_o part_n i_o understand_v not_o how_o this_o can_v be_v for_o with_o have_v no_o light_n at_o all_o yet_o all_o that_o which_o may_v be_v able_a to_o give_v any_o vexation_n to_o the_o sight_n be_v discern_v and_o see_v our_o lord_n be_v not_o please_v at_o that_o time_n that_o i_o shall_v see_v any_o more_o of_o hell_n but_o afterward_o i_o have_v another_o vision_n of_o most_o fearful_a thing_n and_o of_o the_o punishment_n of_o certain_a particular_a vice_n and_o forasmuch_o as_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o discern_v and_o judge_v of_o by_o the_o sight_n these_o seem_v to_o be_v even_o more_o hideous_a than_o the_o former_a but_o yet_o in_o regard_n that_o i_o feel_v not_o the_o pain_n of_o it_o they_o make_v i_o not_o so_o much_o afraid_a for_o in_o this_o other_o present_a vision_n our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v real_o feel_v those_o torment_n and_o affliction_n in_o spirit_n even_o as_o if_o my_o very_a body_n have_v be_v suffer_v they_o there_o favour_n i_o know_v not_o how_o all_o this_o can_v be_v but_o yet_o i_o understand_v well_o enough_o that_o it_o be_v a_o very_a great_a favour_n and_o that_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v discern_v as_o even_o by_o the_o very_a sight_n of_o my_o own_o eye_n from_o whence_o his_o great_a mercy_n have_v deliver_v i_o for_o it_o be_v nothing_o to_o have_v hear_v talk_n of_o it_o nor_o that_o at_o other_o time_n i_o have_v consider_v several_a sort_n of_o torment_n though_o yet_o i_o do_v it_o not_o often_o for_o i_o like_v not_o that_o very_o well_o in_o regard_n of_o the_o fear_v it_o give_v i_o nor_o yet_o that_o the_o devil_n be_v wont_a to_o tear_v man_n in_o piece_n with_o hot_a pincer_n nor_o any_o other_o thing_n whereof_o i_o have_v read_v for_o all_z in_o fine_a be_v nothing_o if_o once_o it_o be_v compare_v to_o this_o since_o this_o be_v whole_o another_o kind_n of_o thing_n and_o the_o torment_n of_o this_o world_n compare_v with_o this_o be_v no_o more_o than_o a_o mere_a picture_n in_o comparison_n of_o the_o life_n the_o very_a burn_a which_o be_v feel_v in_o this_o world_n be_v but_o a_o very_a trifle_n in_o respect_n of_o that_o other_o for_o my_o part_n i_o remain_v astonish_v and_o amaze_v at_o it_o and_o so_o i_o be_o even_o whilst_o i_o be_o write_v these_o thing_n though_o it_o happen_v to_o i_o six_o year_n ago_o and_o it_o be_v a_o most_o real_a truth_n that_o even_o now_o in_o the_o very_a place_n where_o i_o be_o but_o think_v of_o they_o the_o natural_a heat_n of_o my_o body_n begin_v to_o fail_v i_o even_o for_o very_a fear_n not_o do_v i_o ever_o remember_v what_o pass_v then_o but_o that_o all_o my_o affliction_n and_o trouble_n and_o whatsoever_o can_v be_v suffer_v in_o this_o life_n seem_v nothing_o to_o i_o and_o so_o also_o i_o think_v it_o seem_v that_o in_o part_n we_o complain_v here_o without_o reason_n and_o therefore_o i_o say_v again_o that_o this_o be_v one_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n that_o i_o ever_o receive_v in_o my_o whole_a life_n at_o the_o hand_n of_o our_o lord_n for_o it_o favour_n have_v benefit_v i_o very_o much_o both_o towards_o the_o make_v i_o loose_v all_o fear_n and_o care_n concern_v the_o tribulation_n and_o contradiction_n of_o this_o life_n as_o also_o to_o give_v i_o strength_n towards_o the_o endure_a they_o and_o final_o to_o render_v thanks_n to_o our_o bless_a lord_n for_o deliver_v i_o as_o now_o i_o
those_o soul_n whereof_o i_o speak_v it_o be_v necessary_a that_o they_o be_v bring_v wood_n how_o dear_a soever_o it_o may_v cost_v they_o to_o the_o end_n that_o this_o fire_n may_v not_o go_v out_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o so_o miserable_a a_o creature_n that_o i_o will_v be_v content_a if_o i_o have_v but_o straw_n to_o cast_v in_o and_o so_o it_o happen_v to_o i_o sometime_o yea_o and_o very_o often_o that_o one_o while_o i_o will_v be_v laugh_v and_o at_o other_o time_n much_o afflict_v for_o a_o certain_a interior_a motion_n and_o impulse_n which_o i_o have_v be_v ever_o incite_v i_o to_o serve_v god_n in_o somewhat_o and_o since_o i_o be_o not_o fit_a for_o great_a matter_n to_o do_v it_o by_o gather_v flower_n and_o make_v posy_n and_o apply_v they_o in_o decent_a manner_n to_o holy_a image_n and_o picture_n to_o sweep_v or_o dresse-up_a some_o oratory_n or_o in_o do_v such_o other_o little_a and_o poor_a thing_n as_o give_v i_o confusion_n to_o see_v that_o they_o be_v no_o great_a and_o so_o also_o if_o i_o chance_v to_o do_v any_o penance_n it_o be_v all_o so_o very_o little_a and_o so_o poor_o do_v that_o unless_o our_o lord_n shall_v vouchsafe_v to_o accept_v the_o desire_n for_o the_o deed_n i_o see_v plain_o that_o i_o be_v good_a for_o nothing_o and_o in_o a_o word_n i_o do_v even_o laugh_v at_o myself_o but_o now_o it_o give_v no_o small_a trouble_n to_o such_o soul_n as_o it_o please_v almighty_a god_n through_o his_o goodness_n to_o endue_v with_o the_o fire_n of_o his_o love_n in_o great_a abundance_n if_o they_o be_v in_o want_n of_o corporal_a health_n and_o strength_n whereby_o they_o may_v be_v able_a to_o do_v somewhat_o for_o he_o since_o this_o give_v a_o very_a great_a pain_n for_o in_o regard_n that_o we_o want_v strength_n to_o carry_v still_o more_o and_o more_o wood_n to_o this_o fire_n and_o such_o soul_n do_v even_o die_v for_o the_o fear_n they_o have_v lest_o the_o fire_n shall_v go_v out_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o she_o do_v even_o consume_v and_o burn_v herself_o up_o into_o ash_n or_o else_o even_o dissolve_v herself_o into_o tear_n and_o so_o breath_n herself_o away_o into_o nothing_o and_o this_o be_v a_o strong_a kind_n of_o torment_n though_o it_o leave_v not_o to_o be_v savoury_a withal_o let_v such_o a_o soul_n as_o this_o give_v great_a thanks_n to_o almighty_a god_n if_o she_o have_v arrive_v to_o this_o state_n state_n and_o if_o our_o lord_n have_v give_v her_o person_n corporal_a strength_n to_o do_v penance_n or_o if_o he_o have_v impart_v learning_n and_o talent_n and_o power_n to_o preach_v and_o hear_v confession_n and_o win_v soul_n to_o almighty_a god_n for_o she_o know_v not_o nor_o understand_v not_o the_o great_a benefit_n which_o be_v possess_v by_o she_o unless_o she_o be_v grow_v so_o far_o as_o to_o feel_v the_o affliction_n which_o it_o bring_v to_o be_v ever_o receive_v much_o at_o the_o hand_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o never_o to_o be_v able_a withal_o to_o be_v do_v his_o divine_a majesty_n any_o service_n let_v he_o be_v ever_o bless_v for_o all_o and_o let_v the_o angel_n give_v he_o glory_n amen_n i_o know_v not_o whether_o i_o do_v well_o to_o be_v write_v of_o so_o many_o little_a thing_n but_o since_o your_o reverence_n have_v command_v i_o yet_o again_o not_o to_o esteem_v it_o any_o trouble_n to_o enlarge_v myself_o and_o that_o i_o must_v be_v sure_a to_o omit_v nothing_o i_o therefore_o go_v discourse_v with_o clearness_n and_o with_o truth_n of_o as_o much_o as_o i_o can_v call_v to_o mind_n and_o it_o be_v impossible_a but_o that_o i_o shall_v omit_v many_o thing_n for_o else_o it_o will_v grow_v to_o cost_v i_o much_o more_o time_n whereof_o i_o have_v very_o little_a as_o i_o have_v say_v and_o then_o when_o all_o be_v do_v it_o will_v perhaps_o be_v of_o no_o benefit_n at_o all_o the_o one_o and_o thirty_o chapter_n she_o treat_v of_o certain_a exterior_a temptation_n and_o representation_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o of_o the_o torment_n which_o he_o give_v she_o she_o speak_v also_o of_o other_o thing_n which_o be_v very_o fit_a for_o the_o advice_n and_o instruction_n of_o such_o person_n as_o be_v walk_v on_o in_o the_o way_n of_o perfection_n as_o i_o have_v speak_v of_o sorne_n interior_a and_o secret_a temptation_n and_o disturbance_n which_o the_o devil_n bring_v upon_o subject_a i_o so_o now_o will_v i_o speak_v of_o some_o other_o which_o in_o effect_n be_v public_a and_o wherein_o i_o can_v not_o be_v ignorant_a but_o that_o it_o be_v he_o i_o be_v once_o in_o a_o certain_a oratory_n and_o he_o appear_v to_o i_o on_o my_o left_a side_n in_o a_o abominable_a kind_n of_o figure_n and_o in_o particular_a i_o observe_v his_o mouth_n because_o he_o be_v speak_v to_o i_o and_o it_o be_v of_o a_o most_o ugly_a form_n it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o a_o huge_a flame_n come_v out_o of_o his_o body_n and_o it_o be_v all_o a_o very_a bright_a one_o without_o any_o obscurity_n at_o all_o he_o tell_v i_o after_o a_o most_o hideous_a manner_n that_o howsoever_o i_o have_v free_v myself_o once_o out_o of_o his_o hand_n he_o will_v yet_o find_v mean_n enough_o to_o fetch_v i_o back_o again_o i_o be_v in_o a_o mighty_a fear_n but_o i_o bless_v myself_o as_o well_o as_o i_o can_v and_o so_o he_o vanish_v a_o way_n but_o yet_o he_o instant_o return_v and_o this_o happen_v to_o i_o two_o several_a time_n nor_o do_v i_o know_v in_o the_o world_n what_o to_o do_v only_o i_o have_v holie-water_n near_o at_o hand_n and_o so_o i_o sprinkle_v it_o towards_o the_o part_n where_o he_o be_v and_o he_o never_o return_v to_o i_o any_o more_o another_o time_n he_o be_v some_o five_o hour_n together_o torment_v i_o with_o very_o terrible_a pain_n and_o both_o exterior_a and_o interior_a disquiet_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o it_o be_v even_o past_o endure_v the_o woman_n who_o be_v then_o at_o hand_n be_v astonish_v to_o see_v what_o pass_v but_o neither_o can_v they_o tell_v what_o to_o do_v nor_o i_o how_o to_o serve_v myself_o of_o their_o help_n my_o custom_n be_v whensoever_o any_o corporal_a sickness_n or_o pain_n be_v very_o intolerable_a to_o make_v certain_a act_n within_o myself_o the_o best_a i_o can_v beserch_v our_o bless_a lord_n that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n will_v give_v i_o patience_n and_o that_o if_o it_o shall_v redound_v to_o his_o service_n i_o may_v continue_v to_o suffer_v so_o even_o till_o the_o very_a end_n of_o the_o world_n and_o therefore_o now_o when_o i_o find_v myself_o put_v to_o suffer_v with_o so_o much_o rigour_n i_o apply_v myself_o to_o get_v help_n by_o make_v some_o such_o act_n as_o those_o and_o diverse_a good_a purpose_n also_o that_o so_o i_o may_v bear_v the_o burden_n the_o better_a and_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v then_o that_o i_o shall_v clear_o understand_v it_o to_o be_v the_o devil_n for_o i_o see_v a_o certain_a little_a abominable_a negro_n or_o black-more_a hard_a by_o i_o gnash_v his_o tooth_n even_o like_o a_o despair_a wretch_n but_o yet_o in_o fine_a he_o lose_v by_o what_o he_o hope_v to_o gain_v for_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o see_v he_o i_o fall_v a_o laugh_n and_o have_v no_o fear_n of_o he_o at_o all_o but_o there_o be_v some_o person_n by_o who_o know_v not_o what_o to_o do_v in_o this_o case_n nor_o how_o to_o procure_v any_o remedy_n for_o such_o pain_n as_o they_o see_v i_o endure_v the_o blow_n be_v so_o great_a which_o he_o make_v i_o give_v myself_o both_o upon_o my_o arm_n and_o my_o head_n and_o my_o whole_a body_n and_o i_o not_o have_v any_o power_n at_o all_o to_o resist_v he_o yea_o and_o which_o be_v worse_o than_o this_o i_o be_v subject_a to_o so_o great_a a_o inward_a kind_n of_o restlessness_n and_o disquiet_v as_o i_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n appease_v no_o nor_o yet_o dare_v i_o so_o much_o as_o call_v for_o holie-water_n for_o fear_n of_o give_v they_o apprehension_n who_o be_v there_o and_o so_o to_o make_v they_o know_v what_o the_o matter_n be_v for_o my_o part_n i_o have_v find_v by_o much_o experience_n that_o there_o be_v not_o any_o thing_n from_o which_o the_o devil_n do_v so_o certain_o fly_v and_o so_o as_o to_o return_v no_o more_o as_o from_o water_n holie-water_n they_o fly_v also_o from_o the_o cross_n but_o in_o that_o case_n they_o will_v present_o sometime_o return_v again_o so_o that_o certain_o the_o virtue_n of_o holie-water_n be_v great_a and_o for_o my_o part_n my_o soul_n find_v a_o particular_a and_o evident_a kind_n of_o comfort_n when_o i_o take_v it_o and_o real_o and_o usual_o i_o feel_v such_o a_o ease_n and_o pleasure_n
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that_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v to_o imprint_v at_o such_o and_o such_o time_n upon_o the_o soul_n of_o such_o and_o such_o of_o his_o dear_a servant_n such_o or_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o virtue_n or_o favour_n or_o strength_n as_o himself_o be_v please_v to_o design_n for_o the_o comfort_n progress_n and_o perfection_n of_o that_o servant_n of_o he_o and_o so_o that_o servant_n consist_v both_o of_o a_o body_n and_o a_o soul_n his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v also_o gracious_o please_v many_o time_n to_o affect_v both_o the_o body_n and_o the_o soul_n together_o with_o a_o sensible_a kind_n of_o feel_v of_o that_o grace_n those_o outward_a demonstration_n which_o speak_v but_o as_o it_o be_v to_o the_o body_n serve_v chief_o but_o to_o denote_v and_o describe_v in_o that_o sort_n to_o the_o whole_a man_n the_o influence_n and_o impression_n which_o then_o be_v make_v and_o pour_v out_o into_o the_o soul_n but_o now_o it_o will_v come_v fit_o in_o ere_o long_o to_o show_v you_o 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to_o he_o and_o myself_o also_o have_v fresh_a experience_n of_o this_o truth_n for_o my_o part_n i_o procure_v to_o celebrate_v his_o festivitie_n with_o all_o the_o solemnity_n i_o be_v able_a to_o use_v but_o yet_o with_o more_o vanity_n then_o true_a spirit_n desire_v that_o it_o may_v be_v perform_v with_o much_o curiosity_n and_o exactness_n though_o yet_o still_o with_o good_a intention_n but_o i_o ever_o have_v this_o of_o ill_a that_o if_o our_o lord_n enable_v i_o at_o any_o time_n to_o do_v any_o thing_n which_o be_v good_a it_o will_v be_v full_a of_o imperfection_n and_o fault_n whereas_o towards_o the_o do_v any_o thing_n amiss_o and_o for_o the_o exercise_v of_o curiosity_n and_o vanity_n i_o use_v much_o diligence_n and_o dexterity_n and_o cunning_a our_o lord_n pardon_v i_o for_o it_o and_o now_o i_o will_v fain_o persuade_v all_o the_o world_n to_o be_v devote_a to_o this_o glorious_a saint_n for_o the_o great_a experience_n which_o i_o have_v have_v of_o the_o 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great_a assistance_n which_o he_o give_v they_o at_o that_o time_n whosoever_o want_v a_o master_n who_o may_v instruct_v he_o to_o pray_v let_v he_o take_v this_o glorious_a saint_n for_o his_o guide_n and_o he_o shall_v never_o loose_v his_o way_n i_o beseech_v our_o lord_n that_o i_o may_v have_v commit_v no_o error_n in_o presume_v to_o speak_v of_o this_o saint_n for_o though_o i_o thus_o profess_v and_o publish_v myself_o to_o be_v devote_a to_o he_o yet_o have_v i_o be_v ever_o faulty_a in_o the_o not_o do_v he_o real_a service_n and_o in_o not_o imitate_v his_o virtue_n but_o now_o he_o do_v like_o himself_o by_o procure_v that_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o rise_v and_o walk_v and_o be_v no_o long_o a_o cripple_n and_o so_o i_o do_v also_o like_o myself_o in_o make_v so_o ill_o use_v of_o this_o favour_n but_o now_o who_o will_v ever_o have_v imagine_v that_o i_o can_v so_o soon_o fall_v back_o again_o after_o my_o receive_n so_o many_o regalo_n at_o the_o hand_n of_o almighty_a 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in_o i_o according_a to_o the_o experience_n which_o i_o have_v have_v some_o year_n by_o that_o little_a which_o i_o be_o able_a to_o understand_v of_o myself_o and_o still_o thou_o hold_v and_o keep_v thy_o hand_n over_o i_o and_o i_o find_v myself_o full_a of_o desire_n and_o good_a purpose_n and_o in_o some_o sort_n i_o have_v prove_v also_o even_o by_o experience_n of_o many_o thing_n in_o these_o late_a year_n that_o i_o will_v by_o no_o mean_n do_v any_o thing_n which_o shall_v contradict_v or_o cross_v thy_o will_n how_o little_a soever_o it_o may_v be_v though_o yet_o i_o well_o believe_v that_o i_o
who_o we_o know_v we_o be_v belove_v and_o as_o for_o you_o if_o you_o love_v he_o not_o yet_o for_o to_o the_o end_n that_o it_o may_v be_v a_o true_a love_n and_o that_o your_o friendship_n may_v last_v the_o condition_n must_v be_v reciprocal_a and_o we_o know_v there_o can_v be_v no_o want_n on_o our_o lord_n behalf_n and_o that_o our_o nature_n be_v vicious_a sensual_a and_o ungrateful_a and_o so_o we_o can_v perhaps_o obtain_v full_o at_o our_o own_o hand_n to_o love_v he_o so_o much_o because_o he_o be_v not_o of_o the_o same_o condition_n with_o we_o yet_o consider_v how_o much_o it_o import_v we_o to_o hold_v friendship_n with_o he_o and_o how_o much_o he_o love_v we_o we_o must_v pass_v on_o and_o pass_v over_o this_o pain_n of_o be_v much_o in_o his_o company_n who_o be_v of_o so_o different_a a_o condition_n from_o we_o o_o infinite_a goodness_n of_o my_o god_n how_o true_a it_o be_v that_o i_o think_v i_o see_v both_o thou_o and_o myself_o in_o this_o very_a manner_n o_o thou_o who_o be_v the_o very_a regalo_n of_o the_o angel_n in_o heaven_n how_o fain_o will_v i_o even_o defeat_v and_o dissolve_v myself_o total_o in_o love_v thou_o when_o i_o see_v and_o consider_v these_o thing_n and_o how_o certain_a a_o thing_n it_o be_v that_o thou_o be_v on_o the_o suffer_a hand_n in_o regard_n of_o such_o as_o will_v not_o suffer_v thou_o to_o remain_v with_o they_o o_o how_o good_a a_o friend_n do_v thou_o make_v thyself_o to_o thy_o friend_n o_o my_o lord_n and_o how_o do_v thou_o go_v endure_v he_o and_o regal_v he_o and_o thou_o expect_v till_o he_o make_v himself_o grow_v to_o be_v of_o thy_o condition_n and_o inclination_n and_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n thou_o endure_v and_o permit_v he_o to_o continue_v to_o be_v a_o while_n of_o his_o own_o and_o thou_o take_v o_o my_o dear_a lord_n by_o way_n of_o good_a payment_n those_o fit_n of_o time_n which_o he_o can_v be_v content_a to_o bestow_v upon_o thou_o and_o upon_o a_o minute_n of_o true_a sorrow_n and_o 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i_o be_v wont_a to_o do_v and_o for_o recompense_n of_o this_o violence_n which_o they_o use_v to_o make_v against_o themselves_o by_o continue_v in_o so_o good_a company_n as_o thou_o for_o neither_o in_o those_o very_a beginning_n no_o nor_o even_o afterward_o also_o for_o a_o while_n can_v they_o tell_v how_o to_o do_v better_o thou_o force_v o_o lord_n the_o devil_n of_o hell_n to_o forbear_v a_o set_v fierce_o upon_o they_o and_o permit_v they_o to_o have_v daily_o less_o power_n than_o other_o against_o they_o yea_o and_o thou_o put_v they_o into_o man_n hand_n that_o they_o may_v overcome_v they_o so_o that_o thou_o o_o thou_o life_n of_o all_o life_n do_v never_o kill_v any_o one_o of_o those_o creature_n who_o put_v his_o confidence_n in_o thou_o nor_o of_o they_o who_o desire_v thou_o for_o a_o friend_n but_o thou_o sustain_v both_o the_o life_n of_o their_o body_n with_o increase_n of_o health_n and_o thou_o also_o do_v impart_v it_o to_o the_o soul_n for_o my_o part_n i_o can_v possible_o understand_v why_o man_n shall_v fear_v as_o they_o do_v to_o begin_v to_o use_v mental_a prayer_n nor_o of_o what_o it_o be_v in_o fine_a that_o they_o be_v afraid_a the_o devil_n indeed_o do_v not_o ill_a in_o order_n to_o his_o own_o wicked_a end_n to_o procure_v to_o do_v i_o hurt_v if_o by_o pretence_n and_o mean_n of_o i_o know_v not_o what_o fear_n he_o can_v procure_v to_o make_v i_o forbear_v a_o consider_v how_o much_o and_o how_o high_o i_o have_v offend_v almighty_a god_n and_o how_o much_o i_o be_o oblige_v to_o he_o for_o his_o great_a mercy_n and_o benefit_n and_o to_o think_v upon_o this_o truth_n that_o there_o be_v such_o a_o thing_n as_o glory_v in_o heaven_n and_o torment_n in_o hell_n and_o upon_o those_o great_a affliction_n and_o sorrow_n which_o our_o lord_n endure_v for_o i_o in_o this_o life_n for_o this_o be_v still_o my_o prayer_n when_o i_o be_v continue_v in_o all_o those_o danger_n and_o upon_o this_o do_v i_o think_v whensoever_o i_o 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little_a and_o it_o have_v be_v see_v that_o god_n have_v give_v i_o more_o then_o be_v usual_o possess_v by_o woman_n but_o that_o i_o have_v employ_v it_o ill_o to_o force_v myself_o to_o make_v my_o prayer_n and_o in_o fine_a it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o assist_v i_o but_o afterward_o when_o i_o have_v use_v these_o violence_n to_o my_o hart_n i_o find_v myself_o with_o more_o quiet_a &_o delight_n so_o that_o sometime_o i_o grow_v to_o have_v a_o express_a desire_n to_o pray_v now_o therefore_o since_o it_o chance_v that_o our_o lord_n do_v suffer_v and_o endure_v so_o wicked_a a_o creature_n as_o myself_o and_o if_o it_o appear_v plain_o that_o all_o my_o misery_n be_v redress_v by_o this_o mean_n what_o person_n how_o wicked_a soever_o he_o may_v be_v can_v find_v any_o thing_n to_o be_v afraid_a of_o here_o for_o how_o wicked_a soever_o any_o other_o body_n may_v have_v be_v he_o will_v never_o be_v so_o yet_o after_o the_o enjoy_n of_o so_o great_a favour_n from_o our_o b._n lord_n as_o i_o have_v receive_v and_o who_o can_v ever_o come_v to_o disconfide_a in_o his_o divine_a majesty_n who_o have_v patience_n with_o i_o so_o long_o upon_o this_o only_o reason_n because_o i_o desire_v and_o procure_v some_o mean_n for_o time_n and_o place_n wherein_o he_o may_v be_v with_o i_o and_o even_o this_o little_a thing_n i_o do_v often_o without_o any_o inclination_n of_o my_o own_o but_o only_o by_o the_o great_a violence_n which_o either_o i_o offer_v to_o myself_o or_o else_o be_v offer_v to_o i_o by_o our_o lord_n since_o praemise_n therefore_o the_o use_n of_o mental_a prayer_n be_v so_o fit_a yea_o and_o so_o very_o necessary_a even_o for_o such_o as_o serve_v not_o god_n but_o offend_v he_o and_o since_o no_o body_n can_v true_o find_v any_o such_o hurt_n which_o it_o can_v possible_o do_v as_o will_v not_o be_v much_o great_a without_o prayer_n at_o least_o how_o can_v such_o forbear_v it_o as_o serve_v almighty_a god_n and_o desire_v to_o serve_v he_o most_o certain_o unless_o a_o man_n have_v a_o mind_n to_o pass_v through_o the_o trouble_n &_o misery_n of_o this_o life_n with_o a_o addition_n of_o more_o misery_n and_o to_o shut_v up_o the_o very_a gate_n against_o god_n himself_o for_o fear_n lest_o he_o shall_v give_v he_o comfort_n by_o this_o mean_n i_o can_v possible_o understand_v this_o proceed_n of_o he_o i_o have_v real_o great_a compassion_n and_o sorrow_n for_o those_o poor_a soul_n who_o will_v needs_o serve_v almighty_a god_n upon_o their_o own_o cost_n for_o as_o for_o they_o who_o use_v mental_a prayer_n
a_o firm_a foundation_n so_o that_o the_o true_a love_n of_o god_n consist_v not_o in_o have_v tear_n or_o tenderness_n or_o spiritual_a gust_n which_o we_o be_v wont_n for_o the_o most_o part_n to_o desire_v and_o to_o take_v comfort_n in_o but_o to_o serve_v his_o divine_a majesty_n with_o word_n justice_n and_o fortitude_n and_o humility_n for_o in_o that_o other_o course_n i_o think_v we_o be_v rather_o on_o the_o take_a hand_n then_o on_o the_o give_n any_o thing_n of_o our_o own_o as_o for_o poor_a weak_a silly_a woman_n and_o who_o be_v of_o little_a courage_n like_v i_o i_o think_v i_o can_v find_v it_o fit_a that_o our_o lord_n shall_v carry_v they_o on_o with_o regalo_n that_o so_o they_o may_v be_v the_o better_o induce_v to_o suffer_v those_o affliction_n which_o it_o have_v please_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o they_o shall_v bear_v but_o for_o the_o true_a servant_n of_o god_n man_n of_o substance_n and_o solid_a way_n man_n of_o learning_n and_o understanding_n to_o 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that_o it_o be_v not_o to_o walk_v on_o with_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n but_o rather_o like_o weak_a and_o cowardly_a people_n who_o dare_v not_o set_v upon_o difficulty_n and_o i_o say_v not_o this_o so_o much_o for_o they_o who_o be_v but_o beginner_n though_o yet_o i_o press_v it_o so_o far_o because_o it_o import_v very_o much_o that_o they_o begin_v with_o this_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n and_o resolution_n but_o even_o for_o other_o also_o for_o there_o be_v many_o who_o have_v already_o begin_v and_o yet_o who_o never_o in_o fine_a resolve_v upon_o do_v herein_o home_n what_o they_o ought_v and_o i_o believe_v that_o this_o proceed_v in_o great_a part_n from_o their_o not_o resolve_v to_o take_v up_o and_o carry_v this_o cross_n from_o the_o very_a beginning_n for_o such_o shall_v go_v on_o still_o afflict_v as_o conceave_a that_o all_o that_o be_v nothing_o which_o they_o do_v because_o when_o the_o understanding_n gives-ove_a to_o work_v and_o act_n they_o use_v not_o to_o be_v 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by_o serve_v god_n for_o one_o hour_n it_o may_v now_o be_v so_o for_o four_o and_o many_o time_n for_o i_o have_v very_o great_a experience_n of_o this_o case_n and_o know_v it_o to_o be_v true_a because_o i_o have_v both_o consider_v it_o with_o care_n and_o have_v also_o treat_v about_o it_o with_o spiritual_a person_n this_o grow_v even_o from_o our_o corporal_a indisposition_n for_o we_o be_v so_o very_o total_o infirm_a that_o this_o poor_a little_a wretched_a soul_n of_o we_o participate_v in_o the_o misery_n of_o the_o body_n and_o even_o the_o alteration_n of_o the_o weather_n and_o the_o revolution_n of_o their_o own_o natural_a humour_n be_v many_o time_n the_o occasion_n why_o without_o even_o any_o fault_n of_o their_o own_o they_o can_v well_o do_v even_o what_o they_o will_v but_o be_v fain_o to_o suffer_v thus_o in_o all_o kind_n and_o when_o they_o strive_v to_o force_v themselves_o in_o these_o coniuncture_n of_o time_n it_o prove_v to_o be_v so_o much_o the_o worse_o with_o they_o and_o the_o inconvenience_n will_v last_v so_o much_o the_o long_o but_o discretion_n must_v be_v use_v herein_o to_o weigh_v when_o this_o effect_n proceed_v from_o this_o cause_n and_o they_o must_v not_o oppress_v and_o stifle_v this_o poor_a soul_n but_o understand_v and_o consider_v that_o it_o be_v sick_a let_v the_o hour_n of_o prayer_n in_o god_n name_n be_v change_v yea_o and_o many_o time_n it_o will_v be_v fit_a to_o do_v so_o for_o some_o day_n and_o let_v they_o pass_v through_o this_o bannishment_n of_o they_o as_o well_o as_o they_o can_v since_o it_o be_v misfortune_n and_o misery_n enough_o for_o a_o soul_n which_o do_v indeed_o love_v almighty_a god_n to_o see_v that_o she_o live_v in_o so_o great_a misery_n and_o that_o she_o be_v no_o way_n able_a to_o do_v even_o what_o herself_o desire_v in_o regard_n that_o she_o be_v lodge_v with_o so_o untoward_a and_o ill_o a_o host_n as_o this_o body_n be_v i_o say_v this_o be_v to_o be_v do_v with_o 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divert_v himself_o with_o go_v a_o little_a abroad_o to_o take_v the_o air_n as_o the_o ghostly_a father_n shall_v advise_v for_o experience_n be_v a_o great_a schoolmistress_n in_o all_o thing_n towards_o the_o give_v any_o one_o to_o understand_v what_o may_v be_v fit_a and_o almighty_a god_n be_v serve_v in_o all_o this_o business_n for_o his_o yoke_n be_v sweet_a and_o it_o be_v a_o thing_n of_o much_o importance_n that_o the_o soul_n be_v not_o servile_o drag_v as_o one_o may_v say_v but_o that_o it_o be_v carry_v sweet_o on_o towards_o the_o receive_n of_o more_o benefit_n and_o profit_n so_o that_o i_o advise_v again_o and_o again_o for_o though_o i_o say_v it_o often_o it_o will_v do_v no_o hurt_n because_o the_o matter_n import_v so_o much_o that_o no_o body_n be_v to_o afflict_v nor_o oppress_v himself_o either_o through_o dryness_n or_o disquiet_v or_o distraction_n of_o thought_n nor_o yet_o to_o go_v up_o and_o down_o with_o any_o such_o kind_n of_o tribulation_n if_o they_o pretend_v to_o gain_v liberty_n of_o spirit_n but_o let_v he_o once_o begin_v not_o to_o be_v in_o such_o a_o fright_n upon_o the_o sight_n of_o the_o cross_n and_o he_o shall_v see_v how_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v help_v he_o to_o bear_v it_o and_o what_o contentment_n he_o will_v grow_v to_o have_v and_o how_o he_o will_v be_v able_a to_o make_v his_o profit_n of_o all_o thing_n for_o already_o we_o may_v sufficient_o perceive_v that_o if_o there_o be_v no_o spring_n of_o water_n in_o the_o well_o we_o know_v not_o how_o to_o put_v any_o there_o true_a it_o be_v that_o we_o must_v by_o no_o mean_n be_v negligent_a and_o careless_a but_o endeavour_v to_o draw_v it_o out_o if_o there_o be_v
continue_v to_o remain_v in_o a_o very_a inferior_a degree_n in_o this_o way_n nor_o never_o also_o any_o one_o cowardly_a soul_n though_o yet_o withal_o it_o have_v the_o safeguard_n of_o humility_n which_o be_v able_a to_o make_v so_o much_o way_n in_o many_o year_n as_o i_o have_v find_v those_o other_o do_v in_o very_a few_o i_o be_o even_o amaze_v when_o i_o consider_v how_o much_o it_o work_v in_o this_o kind_n for_o one_o to_o animate_v himself_o towards_o the_o do_n of_o great_a thing_n though_o instant_o he_o may_v perhaps_o not_o have_v force_n where_o with_o to_o perform_v for_o the_o soul_n put_v herself_o to_o make_v a_o flight_n and_o arrive_v to_o be_v in_o a_o high_a place_n though_o yet_o like_o some_o young_a bird_n she_o be_v not_o so_o well_o feather_v yet_o and_o therefore_o as_o be_v weary_a she_o can_v but_o pause_v and_o hover_v in_o former_a time_n i_o often_o remember_v and_o consider_v what_o s._n paul_n affirm_v of_o himself_o namely_o that_o he_o can_v do_v all_o thing_n in_o god_n who_o comfort_v he_o for_o as_o for_o i_o i_o know_v well_o that_o i_o can_v do_v nothing_o of_o myself_o but_o that_o say_v of_o his_o do_v i_o very_o much_o good_a &_o so_o also_o do_v this_o other_o of_o s._n augustin_n give_v i_o o_o lord_n what_o thou_o command_v and_o then_o command_v i_o what_o thou_o will_v and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o think_v also_o many_o time_n that_o s._n peter_n have_v lose_v nothing_o by_o the_o bargain_n when_o he_o cast_v himself_o headlong_o into_o the_o sea_n though_o yet_o he_o be_v afraid_a afterward_o in_o a_o word_n these_o first_o strong_a purpose_n and_o resolution_n be_v a_o great_a matter_n though_o yet_o in_o this_o first_o degree_n and_o state_n it_o be_v fit_a that_o we_o go_v detain_v ourselves_o and_o hold_v ourselves_o fast_o tie_v to_o the_o discretion_n and_o dispose_v of_o a_o director_n but_o then_o we_o must_v procure_v that_o he_o may_v be_v such_o a_o one_o as_o will_v not_o teach_v we_o to_o leap_v heavy_o and_o dull_o like_o certain_a toad_n nor_o be_v content_a that_o our_o soul_n dispose_v themselves_o to_o hunt_v those_o little_a weak_a beast_n call_v lizard_n only_a humility_n must_v ever_o go_v before_o that_o so_o we_o may_v besure_n to_o understand_v that_o this_o strength_n do_v not_o grow_v from_o ourselves_o but_o here_o it_o will_v be_v necessary_a for_o we_o to_o know_v what_o kind_n of_o humility_n this_o of_o we_o must_v be_v and_o i_o be_o very_o apt_a to_o think_v that_o the_o devil_n do_v much_o hurt_n towards_o the_o make_n such_o as_o exercise_v prayer_n not_o to_o advance_v themselves_o very_o much_o in_o their_o way_n by_o cause_v they_o to_o mis-understand_v humility_n and_o by_o procure_v to_o make_v we_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v but_o a_o kind_n of_o pride_n to_o have_v heroical_a desire_n and_o to_o pretend_v to_o imitate_v saint_n and_o to_o desire_v to_o be_v martyr_n for_o upon_o this_o he_o tell_v we_o and_o make_v we_o think_v that_o the_o action_n of_o 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all_o their_o hope_n be_v lose_v though_o for_o my_o part_n i_o conceive_v that_o all_o that_o loss_n be_v gain_n but_o let_v they_o advice_n as_o i_o have_v say_v represent_v themselves_o as_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n and_o without_o weary_v of_o the_o understanding_n be_v speak_v and_o regal_v themselves_o with_o he_o and_o not_o tire_v their_o wit_n to_o find_v out_o and_o frame_v certain_a discourse_n but_o let_v they_o only_o present_v their_o necessity_n and_o the_o reason_n which_o he_o may_v have_v not_o so_o much_o as_o to_o endure_v they_o there_o some_o one_o of_o these_o consideration_n will_v serve_v at_o one_o time_n and_o some_o other_o at_o a_o other_o that_o so_o the_o soul_n may_v not_o be_v weary_a of_o feed_v always_o upon_o one_o dish_n these_o particular_n be_v both_o very_a gustfull_a and_o very_o profitable_a also_o if_o once_o the_o party_n be_v accustom_v to_o feed_v on_o they_o for_o they_o use_v to_o bring_v great_a support_n and_o 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begin_v and_o proceed_v and_o make_v a_o end_n and_o it_o will_v be_v a_o very_a excellent_a and_o secure_a way_n till_o our_o lord_n may_v perhaps_o carry_v they_o on_o to_o other_o thing_n which_o be_v supernatural_a i_o say_v for_o all_o though_o yet_o there_o be_v many_o soul_n which_o profit_n more_o by_o other_o meditation_n then_o by_o that_o of_o the_o sacred_a passion_n for_o as_o there_o be_v many_o mansion_n in_o heaven_n when_o a_o soul_n be_v there_o so_o be_v there_o also_o many_o way_n thither_o some_o profit_n more_o by_o consider_v heaven_n and_o some_o afflict_v themselves_o best_a by_o think_v of_o hell_n other_o by_o reflect_v upon_o death_n and_o some_o if_o they_o be_v very_o tender-hearted_a be_v too_o much_o trouble_v and_o vex_v if_o they_o always_o go_v ruminate_v upon_o the_o passion_n and_o they_o regale_n themselves_o better_a yea_o and_o they_o also_o profit_v more_o by_o consider_v the_o power_n and_o greatness_n of_o almighty_a god_n in_o his_o work_n 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degree_n of_o quiet_a prayer_n but_o so_o she_o be_v in_o trouble_n enough_o and_o though_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o this_o point_n of_o the_o knowledge_n of_o one_o self_n be_v never_o indeed_o to_o be_v utter_o give_v over_o nor_o be_v any_o soul_n in_o the_o way_n of_o prayer_n to_o think_v she_o have_v so_o much_o of_o the_o giant_n in_o she_o as_o not_o to_o understand_v that_o many_o time_n she_o must_v turn_v child_n and_o suck_v again_o and_o this_o must_v never_o be_v forget_v and_o perhaps_o i_o shall_v also_o speak_v often_o of_o it_o again_o in_o regard_n that_o it_o import_v so_o much_o because_o there_o be_v no_o state_n of_o prayer_n so_o high_a wherein_o it_o will_v not_o be_v necessary_a to_o turne-againe_a often_o to_o the_o beginning_n and_o this_o point_n of_o the_o knowledge_n of_o ourselves_o and_o of_o our_o sin_n be_v the_o daily_a bread_n bread_n which_o must_v be_v eat_v with_o all_o the_o meat_n how_o delicate_a soever_o it_o may_v be_v of_o such_o as_o be_v in_o this_o way_n of_o prayer_n yea_o and_o without_o this_o very_a bread_n they_o will_v never_o be_v able_a to_o support_v and_o strengthen_v themselves_o yet_o must_v even_o this_o be_v take_v by_o weight_n and_o measure_n for_o when_o once_o a_o soul_n find_v herself_o lay_v very_o flat_a and_o low_a and_o see_v clear_o that_o she_o have_v no_o good_a thing_n of_o her_o own_o and_o find_v herself_o to_o be_v full_a of_o confusion_n and_o shame_n so_o much_o as_o to_o appear_v in_o the_o presence_n of_o so_o great_a a_o king_n and_o the_o little_a which_o she_o be_v able_a to_o pay_v he_o for_o the_o very_a much_o which_o she_o find_v herself_o to_o owe_v he_o what_o necessity_n be_v there_o to_o spend_v so_o very_a much_o time_n upon_o this_o without_o apply_v ourselves_o to_o such_o other_o thing_n as_o our_o lord_n may_v perhaps_o set_v before_o we_o and_o which_o it_o will_v not_o be_v reason_n for_o we_o to_o leave_v since_o his_o divine_a majesty_n know_v better_a than_o we_o upon_o what_o it_o be_v convenient_a for_o we_o to_o feed_v so_o that_o it_o import_v we_o very_o much_o that_o the_o spirit_n director_n be_v well_o advise_v &_o i_o mean_v also_o that_o he_o be_v of_o good_a understanding_n and_o experience_n and_o if_o with_o this_o he_o be_v also_o learned_a it_o will_v be_v of_o mighty_a importance_n but_o yet_o still_o when_o all_o these_o three_o part_n shall_v not_o chance_v to_o meet_v together_o in_o the_o same_o man_n the_o two_o former_a quality_n of_o these_o three_o will_v fall_v out_o to_o import_v more_o than_o the_o three_o because_o they_o may_v easy_o procure_v to_o consult_v with_o such_o as_o be_v learned_a whensoever_o they_o shall_v have_v need_n thereof_o
of_o quiet_a prayer_n she_o treat_v how_o many_o soul_n come_v to_o arrive_v to_o this_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o that_o few_o pass_v beyond_o it_o the_o particular_n which_o be_v touch_v here_o be_v not_o only_o very_o profitable_a but_o very_o necessary_a let_v we_o now_o return_v to_o our_o purpose_n this_o quietness_n and_o recollection_n of_o the_o soul_n be_v easy_o perceive_v by_o the_o satisfaction_n and_o peace_n which_o be_v infuse_v into_o she_o with_o a_o very_a great_a contentment_n and_o calmness_n of_o the_o power_n of_o the_o say_a soul_n together_o with_o a_o very_a great_a delight_n and_o now_o it_o seem_v to_o she_o because_o she_o be_v not_o come_v yet_o any_o further_a that_o already_o she_o have_v nothing_o leave_v to_o desire_v and_o that_o with_o a_o very_a good_a will_n she_o can_v make_v the_o same_o suit_n with_o s._n peter_n that_o her_o abode_n may_v be_v ever_o there_o she_o dare_v not_o stir_v or_o move_v nay_o she_o will_v hardly_o give_v herself_o 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love_n and_o be_v convey_v by_o almighty_a god_n into_o the_o soul_n how_o small_a and_o poor_a soever_o it_o be_v it_o will_v find_v some_o shift_n or_o other_o to_o make_v a_o mighty_a noise_n and_o if_o the_o soul_n do_v not_o quench_v it_o by_o her_o own_o fault_n this_o prove_v that_o very_a thing_n which_o begin_v to_o make_v a_o huge_a kind_n of_o fire_n and_o send_v forth_o great_a flame_n from_o itself_o as_o i_o shall_v declare_v in_o fit_a place_n of_o that_o mighty_a love_n of_o god_n which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v gracious_o please_v that_o perfect_a soul_n shall_v enjoy_v and_o this_o very_a spark_n be_v a_o certain_a kind_n of_o sign_n and_o even_o pawn_v
need_n also_o of_o such_o consideration_n as_o these_o and_o there_o be_v time_n when_o almighty_a god_n will_v try_v they_o nay_o it_o will_v seem_v as_o if_o this_o divine_a majesty_n will_v forsake_v they_o for_o as_o i_o have_v say_v already_o and_o i_o will_v fain_o not_o have_v it_o be_v forget_v the_o soul_n in_o this_o life_n which_o we_o live_v increase_v not_o as_o the_o body_n do_v though_o yet_o we_o say_v it_o do_v and_o real_o it_o do_v increase_v but_o yet_o a_o child_n after_o he_o be_v grow_v and_o become_v tall_a and_o prove_v to_o be_v already_o a_o man_n return_v not_o to_o decrease_v again_o and_o to_o have_v a_o little_a body_n yet_o now_o in_o the_o point_n of_o a_o soul_n our_o lord_n will_v have_v it_o be_v otherwise_o by_o what_o i_o have_v see_v of_o myself_o for_o i_o know_v it_o not_o in_o respect_n of_o other_o and_o it_o ought_v to_o humble_v we_o for_o our_o own_o great_a good_a and_o to_o the_o end_n also_o that_o we_o may_v not_o be_v negligent_a as_o 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thereof_o he_o see_v that_o now_o he_o begin_v to_o bear_v a_o certain_a love_n towards_o almighty_a god_n which_o be_v far_o from_o any_o interest_n of_o his_o own_o &_o he_o covet_v to_o get_v time_n for_o solitude_n that_o so_o he_o may_v have_v the_o better_a opportunity_n to_o enjoy_v that_o good_a in_o fine_a that_o i_o may_v not_o weary_v myself_o too_o much_o this_o be_v a_o direct_a beginning_n of_o all_o good_a thing_n a_o state_n wherein_o the_o flower_n be_v now_o upon_o the_o very_a point_n to_o blossom_n and_o all_o this_o the_o soul_n see_v very_o clear_o and_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n at_o that_o time_n conceive_v but_o that_o god_n be_v and_o will_v be_v with_o she_o till_o such_o time_n as_o she_o shall_v return_v to_o find_v herself_o guilty_a of_o fayling_n and_o imperfection_n towards_o he_o for_o in_o that_o case_n she_o fear_v all_o thing_n and_o it_o be_v fit_a that_o she_o do_v so_o though_o yet_o there_o be_v mind_n soul_n in_o the_o world_n to_o which_o it_o 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right_a in_o this_o kind_n for_o beside_o the_o experience_n which_o i_o have_v whereby_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v many_o thing_n i_o know_v somewhat_o by_o mean_n of_o some_o learned_a man_n who_o indeed_o be_v very_o learned_a and_o of_o some_o person_n be_v also_o who_o be_v very_o holy_a to_o who_o it_o be_v great_a reason_n to_o give_v beleif_n and_o therefore_o let_v not_o other_o soul_n be_v so_o very_a much_o afflict_v and_o vex_v as_o i_o have_v be_v when_o once_o through_o the_o goodness_n of_o almighty_a god_n they_o shall_v be_v come_v on_o so_o far_o as_o to_o find_v themselves_o in_o this_o state_n the_o sixteen_o chapter_n she_o treat_v of_o the_o three_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o go_v declare_v some_o very_a high_a point_n and_o what_o a_o soul_n which_o arrive_v thus_o far_o may_v be_v able_a to_o do_v and_o what_o effect_n these_o so_o great_a favour_n of_o our_o lord_n be_v accustom_v to_o work_n the_o sense_n hereof_o be_v very_o fit_a to_o raise_v the_o spirit_n high_a in_o the_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o it_o be_v also_o of_o great_a consolation_n for_o the_o soul_n which_o arrive_v to_o this_o state_n let_v we_o now_o come_v to_o speak_v of_o the_o three_o water_n wherewith_o this_o garden_n be_v water_v for_o this_o be_v a_o run_a water_n of_o a_o river_n or_o spring_n and_o it_o water_v it_o with_o much_o less_o labour_n though_o yet_o the_o distribution_n thereof_o cause_v some_o our_o lord_n will_v here_o so_o help_v the_o gardener_n that_o in_o some_o sort_n he_o will_v be_v as_o it_o be_v the_o gardener_n himself_o and_o in_o effect_n the_o doer_n of_o all_o this_o be_v
a_o sweet_a repose_n or_o sleep_v of_o all_o the_o power_n which_o be_v yet_o neither_o total_o lose_v nor_o yet_o do_v they_o know_v how_o they_o work_v this_o gust_n and_o delight_n and_o suavitie_n be_v great_a beyond_o all_o comparison_n than_o the_o former_a for_o the_o water_n of_o this_o grace_n gets-up_a to_o the_o very_a throat_n of_o the_o soul_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o now_o it_o can_v go_v forward_o nor_o know_v how_o to_o do_v it_o nor_o yet_o will_v by_o any_o mean_n return_v backward_o but_o enjoy_v a_o excessive_a kind_n of_o glory_n it_o be_v as_o when_o a_o man_n be_v already_o with_o the_o holy_a die_v candle_n in_o his_o hand_n so_o that_o now_o there_o want_v very_o little_a of_o die_v but_o it_o be_v of_o that_o very_a death_n which_o be_v desire_v for_o she_o be_v enjoy_v the_o great_a delight_n that_o can_v be_v imagine_v in_o that_o agony_n of_o she_o and_o i_o think_v it_o be_v no_o other_o thing_n then_o even_o to_o die_v as_o it_o be_v entire_o to_o all_o 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all_o tongue_n to_o praise_v our_o lord_n she_o utter_v a_o thousand_o holy_a impertinency_n but_o yet_o she_o do_v ever_o endeavour_v to_o hit_v right_a in_o please_v he_o who_o hold_v she_o there_o in_o that_o manner_n i_o know_v of_o a_o certain_a person_n who_o though_o she_o be_v no_o poet_n yet_o instant_o do_v she_o happen_v to_o make_v certain_a verse_n all_o extempore_o which_o be_v very_o significant_a in_o the_o way_n of_o complaint_n &_o declare_v her_o pain_n very_o well_o though_o they_o be_v not_o make_v by_o her_o own_o understanding_n alone_o but_o for_o the_o better_a enjoy_v that_o glory_n which_o give_v she_o so_o delightful_a a_o pain_n she_o complain_v thereof_o to_o her_o god_n she_o wish_v that_o she_o may_v be_v all_o tear_v in_o piece_n both_o in_o body_n and_o soul_n to_o show_v the_o joy_n she_o find_v to_o feel_v this_o pain_n what_o torment_n can_v then_o be_v set_v before_o she_o which_o then_o she_o will_v not_o be_v glad_a to_o endure_v for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n she_o clear_o see_v that_o the_o martyr_n do_v very_o little_a on_o their_o part_n when_o they_o suffer_v torment_n for_o the_o soul_n know_v then_o very_o well_o that_o her_o strength_n come_v to_o she_o by_o some_o other_o way_n then_o from_o herself_o but_o now_o what_o will_v she_o feel_v when_o she_o come_v back_o to_o employ_v her_o wit_n upon_o know_v how_o to_o live_v again_o in_o this_o world_n and_o to_o return_v both_o to_o the_o care_n and_o compliment_n thereof_o and_o certain_o i_o think_v i_o be_o far_o from_o have_v exaggerated_a any_o thing_n concern_v this_o manner_n of_o joy_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o make_v a_o soul_n possess_v even_o in_o this_o place_n of_o bannishment_n for_o all_o that_o which_o i_o have_v say_v of_o it_o be_v very_o poor_a and_o mean_v in_o comparison_n of_o what_o it_o be_v in_o itself_o bless_a be_v thou_o for_o ever_o o_o lord_n and_o let_v all_o thing_n praise_v thou_o for_o ever_o and_o be_v please_v o_o my_o king_n i_o most_o humble_o beseech_v and_o beg_v at_o thy_o hand_n that_o since_o when_o even_o now_o i_o be_o not_o whole_o out_o of_o this_o holy_a celestial_a frenzy_n or_o folly_n which_o through_o thy_o goodness_n and_o mercy_n and_o so_o whole_o without_o any_o merit_n of_o i_o thou_o do_v i_o the_o great_a favour_n to_o impart_v either_o all_o such_o person_n as_o with_o who_o i_o shall_v have_v occasion_n to_o converse_v may_v be_v even_o as_o it_o be_v mad_a fool_n for_o thy_o love_n or_o else_o dispose_v thou_o so_o of_o i_o as_o that_o
to_o this_o miserable_a and_o wretched_a creature_n as_o it_o be_v likely_a that_o there_o be_v many_o if_o they_o shall_v be_v please_v to_o treat_v of_o these_o thing_n with_o i_o as_o conceave_a that_o i_o be_o mistake_v and_o out_o of_o the_o way_n our_o lord_n will_v so_o assist_v this_o poor_a servant_n of_o he_o as_o that_o she_o may_v be_v able_a to_o go_v forward_o to_o uphold_v this_o truth_n but_o now_o to_o speak_v of_o this_o last_o water_n which_o come_v from_o heaven_n to_o satisfy_v and_o even_o fulfil_v the_o whole_a garden_n by_o the_o abundance_n thereof_o if_o our_o lord_n do_v never_o forbear_v to_o give_v it_o whensoever_o there_o be_v need_n it_o be_v evident_a enough_o already_o of_o what_o case_n it_o will_v be_v to_o the_o gardener_n and_o that_o there_o will_v never_o be_v any_o winter_n but_o always_o most_o temperate_a weather_n nor_o will_v there_o ever_o be_v any_o want_n either_o of_o fruit_n or_o flower_n and_o so_o it_o may_v be_v easy_o see_v in_o 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open_a she_o in_o effect_n see_v nothing_o distinct_o nor_o if_o she_o read_v can_v she_o so_o much_o as_o judge_v right_o of_o any_o letter_n nor_o can_v she_o even_o guess_v how_o to_o name_v it_o right_n she_o see_v that_o indeed_o there_o be_v letter_n but_o the_o understanding_n not_o give_v she_o any_o assistance_n she_o know_v not_o how_o to_o read_v though_o she_o will_v she_o hear_v but_o yet_o understand_v not_o what_o she_o hear_v so_o that_o she_o receave_v no_o other_o benefit_n at_o all_o by_o her_o sense_n but_o only_o that_o they_o will_v not_o permit_v she_o to_o take_v the_o full_a fruition_n of_o her_o delight_n and_o so_o upon_o the_o matter_n they_o do_v she_o more_o hurt_n then_o good_a as_o for_o speak_v it_o be_v a_o vanity_n so_o much_o as_o to_o think_v of_o any_o such_o thing_n for_o she_o can_v possible_o hit_v right_a so_o much_o as_o in_o frame_v any_o one_o word_n nor_o if_o she_o be_v able_a to_o judge_v it_o be_v she_o yet_o possible_o able_a to_o 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in_o my_o opinion_n how_o long_o soever_o that_o space_n of_o time_n may_v seem_v to_o be_v wherein_o all_o the_o power_n of_o the_o soul_n be_v in_o suspense_n it_o must_v needs_o have_v be_v indeed_o very_o short_a and_o if_o it_o shall_v arrive_v to_o half_a a_o hour_n it_o be_v very_o much_o for_o my_o part_n i_o think_v i_o be_v never_o so_o long_o true_a it_o be_v that_o one_o can_v hardly_o judge_v how_o long_o they_o be_v since_o the_o party_n be_v deprive_v of_o outward_a sense_n but_o i_o say_v that_o it_o must_v needs_o be_v a_o very_a short_a time_n wherein_o no_o one_o of_o the_o power_n can_v be_v able_a to_o return_v again_o to_o itself_o but_o now_o the_o will_n be_v indeed_o the_o only_o power_n which_o maintain_v the_o work_n for_o as_o for_o the_o other_o two_o they_o quick_o become_v importunate_a upon_o she_o yet_o the_o will_n remain_v quiet_a and_o fix_v suspend_v they_o yet_o again_o and_o so_o they_o stay_v another_o little_a while_n and_o afterward_o return_v 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i_o a_o very_a great_a deal_n of_o harrass_v &_o weariness_n to_o myself_o just_a so_o as_o if_o some_o ordinary_a person_n have_v be_v fight_v with_o some_o strong_a giant_n &_o afterward_o i_o shall_v find_v myself_o very_o weary_a but_o at_o other_o time_n it_o be_v altogether_o impossible_a for_o i_o to_o hinder_v it_o for_o my_o soul_n will_v be_v carry_v absolute_o away_o and_o ordinary_o even_o my_o head_n as_o it_o be_v after_o it_o yea_o &_o this_o sometime_o so_o far_o as_o that_o my_o whole_a body_n will_v be_v transport_v so_o as_o to_o be_v raised-up_a from_o the_o ground_n this_o last_o have_v happen_v rare_o to_o i_o but_o once_o it_o be_v upon_o the_o very_a point_n to_o arrive_v whilst_o we_o all_o be_v assemble_v together_o in_o the_o choir_n and_o i_o be_v then_o upon_o my_o knee_n as_o at_o the_o point_n of_o go_v to_o receive_v the_o bless_a sacrament_n it_o put_v i_o to_o a_o extremity_n of_o trouble_n because_o it_o seem_v to_o be_v a_o very_a extraordinary_a 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stiff_a that_o i_o can_v possible_o sometime_o bring_v they_o together_o and_o so_o the_o pain_n remain_v till_o the_o next_o day_n after_o in_o my_o wrist_n and_o in_o my_o body_n in_o such_o a_o manner_n that_o it_o seem_v as_o if_o i_o be_v even_o rack_v and_o disjoint_v and_o i_o be_o sometime_o conceave_a that_o our_o lord_n may_v one_o day_n perhaps_o think_v fit_a in_o case_n this_o course_n go_v on_o to_o make_v it_o end_n with_o the_o very_a end_n of_o my_o life_n for_o so_o great_a a_o torment_n as_o this_o may_v well_o in_o my_o opinion_n be_v sufficient_a for_o so_o great_a a_o effect_n as_o that_o save_v only_o that_o i_o deserve_v not_o to_o be_v so_o happy_a all_o the_o anxiety_n of_o my_o desire_n consist_v at_o this_o time_n that_o i_o may_v die_v for_o i_o neither_o remember_v purgatory_n nor_o yet_o those_o great_a sin_n which_o i_o have_v commit_v for_o which_o i_o deserve_v hellfire_n but_o all_o be_v now_o forget_v through_o that_o anxiety_n of_o desire_n and_o 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how_o to_o live_v again_o here_o below_o though_o still_o much_o against_o the_o will_n of_o the_o spirit_n or_o superior_a part_n of_o the_o soul_n which_o will_v fain_o not_o be_v quit_v of_o this_o pain_n i_o know_v not_o whether_o i_o hit_v right_a in_o what_o i_o say_v or_o if_o i_o know_v indeed_o how_o to_o do_v it_o but_o to_o the_o uttermost_a and_o best_a of_o my_o opinion_n it_o pass_v just_a thus_o as_o i_o have_v declare_v and_o now_o your_o reverence_n shall_v do_v well_o to_o consider_v what_o kind_n of_o rest_n or_o ease_n it_o be_v possible_a for_o i_o to_o enjoy_v in_o this_o life_n since_o that_o which_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o find_v by_o mean_n of_o solitude_n and_o prayer_n for_o therein_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o great_a consolation_n be_v now_o most_o usual_o convert_v into_o this_o torment_n which_o yet_o withal_o be_v so_o delicious_a a_o kind_n of_o thing_n and_o the_o soul_n perceive_v it_o to_o be_v of_o so_o high_a value_n that_o now_o she_o 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afterward_o i_o say_v not_o for_o all_o they_o together_o but_o for_o any_o one_o of_o they_o be_v take_v several_o by_o itself_o and_o here_o let_v it_o not_o be_v forget_v how_o i_o say_v that_o these_o impetuosity_n or_o impulse_n which_o be_v describe_v here_o arrive_v after_o the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n do_v i_o first_o as_o also_o after_o all_o that_o whereof_o i_o will_v write_v in_o this_o book_n yea_o &_o even_o after_o my_o entrance_n into_o the_o favour_n which_o i_o be_o enjoy_v at_o this_o present_a and_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o the_o beginning_n to_o be_v in_o some_o fear_n as_o in_o effect_n it_o happen_v to_o i_o always_o whensoever_o it_o please_v our_o lord_n to_o do_v i_o any_o favour_n till_o at_o least_o in_o the_o proceed_n thereof_o i_o may_v have_v receive_v some_o kind_n of_o security_n from_o his_o divine_a majesty_n he_o will_v i_o not_o to_o fear_v but_o to_o esteem_v this_o favour_n for_o great_a than_o all_o those_o other_o be_v which_o he_o have_v former_o be_v please_v to_o vouchsafe_v i_o because_o the_o soul_n be_v purify_v by_o this_o pain_n and_o for_o that_o it_o be_v burnish_v &_o refine_v here_o as_o gold_n may_v be_v in_o the_o chrysuble_a that_o so_o it_o may_v be_v the_o more_o capable_a to_o receive_v those_o enamel_n and_o ornament_n of_o his_o gift_n and_o grace_n and_o that_o so_o that_o be_v to_o be_v wipe_v away_o which_o will_v otherwise_o have_v make_v work_n for_o purgatory_n i_o understand_v very_o well_o even_o before_o that_o this_o be_v a_o great_a favour_n but_o yet_o i_o remain_v with_o much_o more_o security_n after_o this_o and_o my_o ghostly_a father_n also_o tell_v i_o that_o it_o be_v good_a and_o though_o i_o be_v former_o afraid_a yet_o because_o i_o be_o so_o wicked_a i_o can_v never_o bring_v myself_o to_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v ill_a but_o rather_o the_o very_a greatness_n itself_o of_o the_o benefit_n give_v i_o a_o kind_n of_o fear_n when_o i_o remember_v how_o very_o far_o i_o 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disorder_n and_o though_o she_o can_v do_v nothing_o of_o herself_o forasmuch_o as_o may_v concern_v the_o ministry_n of_o the_o exterior_a part_n yet_o leave_v she_o not_o to_o understand_v yea_o and_o also_o to_o hear_v as_o if_o a_o thing_n be_v speak_v to_o she_o from_o far_o off_o i_o say_v not_o that_o she_o either_o understand_v or_o hear_v when_o she_o be_v in_o the_o high_a part_n of_o the_o rapt_v i_o say_v in_o the_o very_o high_a at_o those_o time_n when_o the_o faculty_n or_o power_n be_v lose_v because_o then_o they_o be_v very_o straight_o unite_v to_o almighty_a god_n and_o then_o in_o my_o opinion_n she_o neither_o see_v nor_o hear_v but_o as_o i_o be_v say_v in_o the_o former_a prayer_n of_o union_n this_o total_a transform_v of_o the_o soul_n into_o god_n be_v wont_a to_o continue_v little_a yet_o for_o the_o time_n it_o last_v no_o power_n of_o the_o soul_n either_o feel_v or_o do_v so_o much_o as_o know_v what_o pass_v there_o and_o this_o seem_v to_o be_v after_o 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it_o grow_v from_o hence_o that_o they_o be_v also_o suspend_v because_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v so_o please_v and_o for_o the_o most_o part_n the_o eye_n be_v shut_v though_o yet_o we_o have_v no_o intention_n to_o shut_v they_o and_o though_o by_o accident_n they_o may_v be_v open_a sometime_o yet_o as_o i_o say_v before_o she_o do_v not_o fix_v or_o aim_n or_o consider_v at_o least_o at_o all_o what_o she_o see_v but_o now_o the_o body_n here_o be_v much_o less_o able_a to_o do_v any_o thing_n with_o itself_o in_o order_n to_o that_o time_n when_o the_o say_v power_n shall_v return_v to_o be_v unite_v for_o then_o there_o will_v not_o be_v much_o for_o it_o to_o do_v and_o therefore_o let_v he_o to_o who_o our_o lord_n shall_v vouchsafe_v this_o favour_n not_o be_v discomfort_a at_o all_o if_o then_o he_o chance_v to_o find_v both_o the_o body_n to_o be_v as_o it_o be_v bind_v up_o many_o hour_n yea_o and_o even_o his_o very_a understanding_n and_o memory_n to_o be_v divert_v sometime_o true_a it_o be_v that_o soul_n be_v ordinary_o in_o this_o case_n even_o drench_v yea_o and_o as_o it_o be_v drown_v in_o the_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o in_o desire_v also_o to_o comprehend_v and_o understand_v that_o which_o have_v pass_v with_o themselves_o and_o yet_o even_o for_o this_o purpose_n they_o use_v not_o to_o be_v very_o well_o awake_v but_o rather_o like_o some_o one_o who_o have_v sleep_v and_o dream_v and_o be_v not_o yet_o come_v very_o well_o again_o to_o himself_o i_o declare_v my_o thought_n so_o large_o herein_o because_o i_o know_v there_o be_v person_n at_o this_o time_n yea_o &_o even_o in_o this_o very_a place_n to_o who_o our_o lord_n do_v these_o favour_n and_o yet_o if_o they_o who_o direct_v they_o have_v want_v the_o experience_n of_o these_o thing_n perhaps_o they_o will_v conceive_v that_o they_o be_v to_o be_v as_o it_o be_v dead_a in_o these_o rapt_n especial_o if_o these_o directour_n be_v not_o learned_a man_n and_o it_o be_v matter_n both_o of_o pity_n and_o grief_n to_o consider_v how_o much_o be_v suffer_v by_o mean_n of_o such_o ghostly_a father_n as_o do_v not_o understand_v this_o business_n which_o i_o will_v declare_v afterward_o perhaps_o i_o know_v not_o well_o what_o i_o say_v but_o your_o reverence_n will_v easy_o understand_v if_o i_o hit_v any_o thing_n right_a since_o our_o lord_n have_v already_o give_v you_o experience_n therein_o though_o yet_o because_o it_o be_v not_o long_o since_o you_o begin_v you_o will_v not_o peradventure_o have_v consider_v it_o so_o much_o as_o i_o but_o now_o though_o i_o endeavour_v rapt_n much_o and_o many_o time_n yet_o the_o body_n have_v not_o strength_n wherewith_o to_o stir_v itself_o but_o the_o soul_n carry_v it_o all_o along_o with_o she_o the_o person_n who_o be_v sick_a do_v thus_o recover_v health_n many_o time_n and_o she_o who_o be_v full_a of_o weakness_n and_o pain_n recover_v strength_n for_o they_o be_v great_a thing_n which_o be_v bestow_v in_o these_o case_n and_o sometime_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v as_o i_o be_v say_v that_o the_o body_n shall_v also_o feel_v his_o part_n of_o joy_n since_o already_o it_o yield_v obedience_n to_o that_o which_o the_o soul_n desire_v when_o once_o she_o be_v return_v into_o herself_o it_o will_v happen_v to_o she_o if_o the_o rapt_v have_v be_v great_a to_o go_v a_o day_n or_o two_o yea_o and_o sometime_o three_o with_o the_o power_n so_o absorb_v and_o as_o it_o be_v stupify_v that_o they_o seem_v not_o to_o be_v altogether_o themselves_o but_o now_o here_o comes-in_a the_o pain_n to_o be_v able_a to_o know_v again_o how_o to_o live_v here_o be_v our_o feather_n imp_v and_o here_o be_v the_o sick_a one_o fall_v off_o and_o here_o be_v the_o banner_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n so_o direct_o raised-up_a and_o display_v that_o now_o there_o seem_v to_o remain_v no_o more_o but_o that_o the_o captain_n of_o this_o fort_n may_v either_o get_v up_o himself_o or_o else_o may_v instant_o 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will_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o for_o his_o glory_n now_o real_o and_o with_o effect_n all_o these_o thing_n be_v wont_a to_o pass_v in_o this_o manner_n if_o the_o rapt_n be_v true_a and_o the_o soul_n be_v vest_v with_o those_o advantage_n and_o benefit_n which_o be_v relate_v and_o if_o these_o do_v not_o follow_v i_o shall_v be_v apt_a to_o doubt_v very_o much_o that_o they_o be_v not_o rapt_n on_o the_o part_n of_o god_n but_o shall_v rather_o be_v incline_v to_o fear_v that_o they_o be_v of_o that_o kind_n of_o rave_n whereof_o s._n vincent_n speak_v at_o least_o this_o be_v what_o i_o understand_v and_o i_o have_v see_v by_o experience_n itself_o that_o the_o soul_n be_v wont_a in_o these_o case_n to_o become_v a_o lady_n and_o queen_n over_o all_o creature_n and_o to_o acquire_v so_o much_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n in_o less_o than_o a_o hour_n that_o she_o can_v even_o know_v herself_o but_o yet_o she_o well_o understand_v that_o all_o this_o be_v none_o of_o her_o own_o nor_o do_v she_o know_v how_o she_o can_v come_v to_o obtain_v so_o great_a a_o blessing_n but_o yet_o still_o she_o understand_v withal_o the_o extreme_a great_a benefit_n and_o advantage_n which_o every_o one_o of_o these_o rapt_n bring_v upon_o she_o there_o be_v no_o creature_n who_o can_v credit_v all_o this_o but_o such_o a_o one_o as_o have_v learn_v it_o by_o experience_n and_o therefore_o man_n believe_v not_o the_o poor_a soul_n which_o they_o have_v see_v to_o be_v wicked_a and_o now_o find_v so_o very_o soon_o to_o pretend_v to_o do_v certain_a thing_n of_o so_o high_a importance_n for_o instant_o she_o resolve_v not_o to_o be_v content_a to_o serve_v our_o lord_n in_o small_a matter_n but_o in_o the_o very_o great_a she_o can_v now_o the_o world_n be_v apt_a to_o conceive_v that_o such_o endeavour_n be_v but_o impertinency_n and_o temptation_n and_o yet_o if_o man_n will_v but_o understand_v and_o consider_v that_o they_o be_v not_o thing_n which_o grow_v from_o 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publish_v the_o same_o after_o a_o much_o better_a manner_n but_o yet_o at_o least_o i_o shall_v give_v satisfaction_n to_o myself_o and_o i_o think_v i_o shall_v esteem_v even_o my_o very_a life_n but_o at_o a_o little_a rate_n upon_o condition_n that_o i_o may_v be_v able_a to_o give_v but_o some_o one_o of_o these_o single_a truth_n to_o be_v well_o understand_v and_o yet_o i_o know_v not_o what_o i_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o do_v with_o myself_o afterward_o for_o there_o be_v no_o trust_n at_o all_o to_o be_v have_v in_o i_o i_o be_v that_o miserable_a creature_n which_o i_o be_o yet_o still_o i_o have_v so_o great_a impulse_n to_o utter_v and_o declare_v these_o thing_n to_o such_o as_o be_v in_o authority_n and_o command_v that_o i_o think_v they_o do_v even_o annihilate_v and_o consume_v i_o and_o yet_o now_o since_o i_o can_v do_v no_o more_o i_o return_v o_o my_o lord_n towards_o thou_o to_o seek_v remedy_n for_o all_o inconvenience_n for_o thou_o o_o my_o lord_n know_v well_o 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of_o this_o it_o breed_v a_o kind_n of_o devotion_n in_o i_o that_o thou_o o_o my_o king_n may_v be_v please_v to_o make_v they_o even_o hereby_o understand_v that_o they_o ought_v to_o imitate_v thou_o in_o their_o life_n since_o there_o grow_v in_o some_o sort_n to_o be_v certain_a appearance_n and_o sign_n in_o heaven_n at_o their_o death_n as_o there_o be_v when_o even_o thyself_o come_v to_o die_v i_o see_v well_o that_o i_o be_o presume_v very_o far_o but_o i_o beseech_v your_o reverence_n tear_v it_o if_o you_o mislike_v it_o and_o believe_v that_o i_o will_v be_v glad_a to_o speak_v it_o better_o if_o i_o be_v present_a
with_o they_o and_o if_o i_o can_v tell_v how_o and_o especial_o if_o i_o think_v that_o they_o will_v believe_v i_o for_o i_o recommend_v they_o very_o much_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o i_o wish_v that_o it_o may_v do_v they_o good_a when_o a_o body_n resolve_v to_o venture_v his_o life_n he_o may_v in_o effect_n do_v what_o he_o list_v and_o i_o desire_v very_o often_o to_o loose_v i_o for_o that_o be_v to_o venture_v little_a for_o the_o gain_n of_o much_o but_o now_o one_o may_v think_v that_o there_o be_v scarce_o any_o creature_n in_o the_o world_n who_o indeed_o live_v consider_v how_o gross_o visible_a that_o great_a deceit_n and_o error_n be_v which_o we_o carry_v about_o we_o and_o with_o what_o blindness_n we_o converse_v in_o this_o world_n but_o when_o once_o the_o soul_n come_v to_o the_o pass_n of_o this_o water_n they_o be_v not_o bare_a desire_n which_o she_o carry_v for_o the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n for_o then_o his_o divine_a majesty_n give_v her_o 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benediction_n and_o he_o will_v address_v your_o life_n by_o your_o meditation_n upon_o he_o for_o he_o be_v the_o best_a original_a and_o pattern_n which_o we_o can_v possible_o have_v and_o indeed_o what_o can_v we_o desire_v more_o then_o to_o have_v so_o perfect_a a_o friend_n at_o hand_n who_o will_v never_o give_v we_o over_o in_o our_o affliction_n and_o tribalation_n as_o they_o of_o this_o world_n be_v wont_a to_o do_v most_o bless_a be_v that_o man_n who_o love_v he_o with_o all_o sincerity_n of_o truth_n and_o who_o be_v always_o carry_v he_o close_o to_o himself_o let_v we_o look_v upon_o the_o glorious_a s._n paul_n who_o seem_v as_o if_o he_o can_v not_o suffer_v that_o ever_o the_o name_n of_o jesus_n shall_v be_v able_a to_o fall_v often_o enough_o from_o his_o mouth_n as_o one_o who_o do_v not_o fail_v to_o carry_v it_o well_o imprint_v upon_o his_o hart_n and_o since_o i_o understand_v of_o that_o other_o abstract_a course_n whereof_o i_o speak_v i_o have_v reflect_v upon_o diverse_a great_a contemplative_a saint_n with_o much_o care_n and_o i_o find_v that_o they_o go_v no_o other_o way_n than_o this_o s._n francis_n she_o wes_z it_o plain_o by_o the_o wound_n s._n anthony_n of_o milan_n by_o the_o infant_n s._n bernard_n delight_v himself_o much_o in_o the_o humanity_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n and_o so_o also_o do_v s._n katherine_n of_o sienna_n together_o with_o many_o other_o saint_n as_o your_o reverence_n know_v better_o than_o i._n this_o depart_a and_o abstract_v one_o self_n from_o all_o corporeal_a object_n shall_v as_o it_o seem_v be_v good_a since_o person_n who_o be_v so_o spiritual_a affirm_v it_o but_o yet_o in_o my_o opinion_n this_o must_v be_v understand_v of_o soul_n who_o be_v very_o proficient_a in_o spirit_n for_o till_o then_o it_o be_v evident_a enough_o that_o the_o creator_n be_v to_o be_v seek_v by_o mean_n of_o the_o creature_n but_o yet_o i_o will_v undertake_v nothing_o in_o this_o case_n since_o all_o depend_v upon_o the_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v to_o any_o soul_n that_o which_o i_o will_v fain_o give_v to_o be_v understand_v be_v that_o the_o most_o sacred_a humanity_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n must_v not_o be_v make_v to_o come_v into_o that_o account_n and_o let_v this_o point_n be_v well_o understand_v wherein_o i_o will_v fain_o know_v how_o to_o declare_v myself_o when_o god_n be_v please_v to_o suspend_v all_o the_o power_n of_o the_o soul_n in_o those_o kind_n of_o prayer_n which_o be_v relate_v we_o have_v see_v plain_o that_o this_o presence_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n be_v take_v from_o we_o whether_o we_o will_v or_o no_o and_o let_v it_o then_o be_v go_v in_o a_o good_a hour_n for_o that_o kind_n of_o loss_n be_v a_o happy_a one_o whereby_o we_o come_v to_o enjoy_v more_o of_o that_o which_o we_o conceive_v ourselves_o to_o have_v lose_v for_o then_o the_o soul_n employ_v herself_o whole_o upon_o love_v he_o who_o the_o understanding_n have_v already_o endeavour_v to_o know_v and_o she_o love_v that_o which_o she_o do_v not_o full_o comprehend_v and_o now_o joy_n in_o that_o wherein_o she_o can_v not_o also_o have_v joy_v but_o only_o by_o lose_v herself_o for_o her_o great_a gain_n but_o now_o that_o we_o shall_v by_o trick_n and_o of_o sett-purpose_n accustom_v ourselves_o not_o to_o procure_v with_o our_o whole_a power_n to_o carry_v always_o in_o our_o eye_n and_o i_o will_v to_o god_n it_o be_v always_o this_o most_o sacred_a humanity_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n this_o i_o say_v be_v that_o which_o i_o like_v not_o since_o it_o be_v a_o way_n of_o make_v the_o soul_n walk_v in_o the_o air_n as_o we_o use_v to_o say_v for_o it_o seem_v that_o she_o have_v no_o firm_a and_o stable_a restingplace_n howsoever_o she_o may_v make_v herself_o believe_v that_o she_o be_v full_a of_o god_n it_o be_v a_o great_a matter_n whilst_o we_o live_v and_o be_v humane_a to_o procure_v to_o bring_v god_n to_o ourselves_o humane_a for_o this_o be_v that_o other_o inconvenience_n which_o i_o say_v there_o be_v for_o the_o first_o i_o begin_v to_o say_v be_v a_o little_a want_n of_o humility_n in_o presume_v to_o raise_v the_o soul_n before_o our_o lord_n raise_v she_o and_o not_o to_o content_v herself_o with_o meditate_v upon_o a_o thing_n so_o precious_a but_o that_o she_o will_v needs_o be_v a_o marie_n before_o she_o have_v take_v the_o pain_n of_o martha_n if_o our_o lord_n himself_o be_v please_v that_o we_o be_v marry_o there_o will_v be_v nothing_o to_o be_v fear_v though_o it_o shall_v be_v upon_o the_o very_a first_o day_n of_o our_o do_v he_o service_n but_o yet_o let_v we_o consider_v well_o of_o the_o matter_n as_o i_o think_v i_o be_v say_v before_o for_o this_o small_a moat_n of_o little_a humility_n will_v make_v a_o shift_n to_o do_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o hurt_n against_o profit_v in_o the_o way_n of_o contemplation_n but_o to_o return_v now_o to_o the_o second_o point_n we_o be_v no_o angel_n but_o we_o have_v body_n and_o to_o desire_v to_o make_v ourselves_o angel_n whilst_o yet_o we_o be_v upon_o earth_n and_o especial_o if_o they_o be_v so_o earthly_a as_o i_o be_v be_v a_o kind_n of_o folly_n or_o madness_n but_o our_o thought_n in_o the_o ordinary_a way_n have_v need_n of_o a_o kind_n of_o lean_v or_o restingplace_n though_o yet_o sometime_o the_o soul_n may_v go_v so_o out_o of_o herself_o yea_o and_o many_o time_n may_v be_v so_o full_a of_o almighty_a god_n that_o perhaps_o she_o have_v no_o neęd_n to_o recollect_v herself_o by_o mean_n of_o any_o thing_n create_v but_o this_o be_v not_o a_o thing_n so_o ordinary_a and_o in_o business_n and_o persecution_n and_o trouble_n when_o she_o can_v enjoy_v so_o much_o quiet_a and_o in_o the_o time_n also_o of_o dryness_n and_o dulness_n christ_n our_o lord_n be_v wont_a to_o be_v a_o very_a good_a friend_n for_o we_o consider_v he_o as_o man_n and_o we_o behold_v he_o full_a of_o weakness_n and_o affliction_n and_o he_o be_v company_n fit_a for_o all_o good_a occasion_n and_o when_o once_o we_o be_v a_o little_a accustom_a we_o shall_v find_v he_o very_o easy_o keep_v close_a to_o we_o though_o yet_o some_o such_o time_n will_v occur_v as_o that_o we_o shall_v not_o be_v able_a to_o do_v neither_o the_o one_o nor_o the_o other_o upon_o this_o reason_n it_o will_v be_v well_o to_o do_v that_o whereof_o i_o have_v speak_v already_o namely_o not_o to_o pretend_v and_o procure_v any_o sensible_a consolation_n of_o spirit_n but_o let_v any_o thing_n arrive_v that_o will_v for_o it_o be_v no_o toy_n or_o trifle_n to_o embrace_v the_o cross_n of_o our_o lord_n this_o lord_n of_o we_o be_v forsake_v by_o all_o manner_n of_o comfort_n and_o they_o leave_v he_o all_o alone_a in_o his_o affliction_n but_o yet_o let_v not_o we_o do_v so_o for_o he_o will_v reach_v we_o his_o hand_n which_o can_v raise_v we_o better_o up_o than_o all_o our_o own_o diligence_n will_v have_v be_v able_a to_o do_v and_o yet_o he_o will_v absent_v himself_o also_o when_o he_o shall_v think_v fit_a and_o when_o he_o shall_v think_v it_o fit_a he_o will_v also_o draw_v the_o soul_n out_o of_o itself_o as_o i_o have_v say_v before_o our_o lord_n be_v very_o well_o please_v to_o see_v a_o soul_n with_o humility_n introduce_v his_o son_n for_o her_o intercessor_n and_o he_o love_v she_o so_o very_a much_o that_o even_o when_o his_o divine_a majesty_n shall_v have_v a_o inclination_n to_o raise_v herup_a to_o great_a contemplation_n the_o same_o soul_n may_v yet_o hold_v herself_o unworthy_a and_o cry_v out_o with_o s._n peter_n depart_v from_o i_o o_o my_o lord_n for_o i_o be_o a_o sinful_a man_n i_o have_v try_v this_o very_a thing_n by_o experience_n and_o thus_o have_v god_n conduct_v my_o soul_n let_v other_o therefore_o go_v by_o some_o other_o short_a cut_n as_o they_o please_v but_o that_o which_o i_o have_v be_v able_a to_o understand_v be_v that_o all_o this_o cement_n of_o prayer_n be_v ground_v upon_o humility_n and_o truth_n that_o the_o more_o the_o soul_n be_v abase_v in_o that_o holy_a exercise_n the_o more_o be_v it_o exalt_v by_o almighty_a god_n nor_o do_v i_o remember_v that_o ever_o he_o show_v i_o any_o of_o those_o singular_a mercy_n of_o which_o i_o shall_v speak_v afterward_o but_o when_o i_o find_v my_o soul_n even_o as_o it_o be_v annihilate_v with_o observe_v myself_o to_o be_v so_o very_o wicked_a yea_o and_o sometime_o his_o divine_a majesty_n take_v care_n to_o give_v i_o to_o understand_v certain_a thing_n towards_o the_o make_v i_o know_v myself_o so_o much_o the_o better_a which_o i_o can_v never_o have_v tell_v how_o to_o
have_v any_o experience_n will_v find_v that_o every_o word_n of_o this_o which_o i_o have_v say_v be_v literal_o certain_a and_o i_o bless_v almighty_a god_n for_o enable_v i_o to_o declare_v it_o as_o i_o have_v do_v and_o now_o i_o end_v this_o part_n of_o the_o discourse_n with_o say_v that_o i_o think_v when_o such_o word_n proceed_v from_o our_o own_o understanding_n we_o may_v easy_o come_v to_o know_v it_o if_o we_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o it_o and_o every_o time_n that_o we_o be_v in_o prayer_n we_o shall_v conceive_v that_o we_o understand_v they_o but_o in_o this_o other_o kind_n of_o word_n or_o speech_n it_o be_v not_o so_o for_o it_o will_v be_v many_o day_n wherein_o though_o i_o shall_v desire_v to_o understand_v somewhat_o of_o that_o kind_n it_o will_v be_v absolute_o impossible_a and_o when_o at_o other_o time_n i_o have_v no_o thought_n that_o way_n i_o must_v yet_o understand_v it_o as_o i_o have_v say_v and_o i_o think_v that_o whosoever_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o deceive_v other_o affirm_v himself_o to_o understand_v that_o from_o almighty_a god_n which_o be_v from_o himself_o may_v as_o well_o and_o it_o will_v cost_v he_o as_o little_a affirm_v that_o he_o hear_v it_o with_o his_o ear_n and_o it_o be_v a_o most_o certain_a and_o real_a truth_n that_o for_o my_o part_n i_o never_o think_v that_o there_o be_v any_o other_o way_n then_o that_o for_o the_o hear_n and_o understand_v any_o thing_n till_o i_o find_v in_o my_o own_o case_n that_o this_o which_o i_o have_v now_o deliver_v be_v true_a and_o it_o have_v cost_v i_o as_o i_o say_v much_o trouble_n when_o these_o thing_n proceed_v of_o the_o devil_n they_o do_v not_o only_o not_o work_v any_o good_a effect_n but_o leave_v also_o very_o ill_o one_o behind_o they_o but_o this_o have_v not_o happen_v to_o i_o above_o twice_o or_o thrice_o and_o i_o have_v instant_o be_v advertise_v by_o our_o lord_n that_o they_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n and_o beside_o the_o great_a dryness_n which_o they_o leave_v behind_o they_o they_o also_o give_v the_o soul_n much_o disquiet_n after_o the_o manner_n of_o those_o many_o other_o time_n when_o our_o lord_n have_v permit_v i_o to_o have_v great_a temptation_n and_o trouble_n of_o soul_n in_o different_a kind_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v often_o be_v torment_v as_o i_o will_v declare_v hereafter_o but_o this_o be_v a_o certain_a kind_n of_o disquiet_n of_o which_o we_o know_v not_o how_o to_o understand_v from_o whence_o it_o come_v but_o it_o seem_v that_o the_o soul_n resist_v it_o and_o be_v put_v into_o great_a disorder_n by_o it_o and_o be_v afflict_v without_o know_v for_o what_o in_o regard_n that_o the_o devil_n say_v that_o such_o or_o such_o a_o thing_n be_v not_o ill_o but_o good_a i_o conceive_v that_o if_o one_o spirit_n may_v be_v able_a to_o find_v and_o feel_v another_o the_o gust_n and_o delight_n which_o this_o diabolical_a spirit_n give_v be_v different_a in_o my_o opinion_n from_o the_o other_o after_o a_o most_o evident_a manner_n the_o devil_n may_v well_o deceive_v some_o such_o person_n by_o give_v he_o gust_n as_o never_o receive_v any_o before_o from_o almighty_a god_n for_o these_o latter_a be_v gust_n indeed_o which_o import_v a_o sweet_a strong_a well-imprinted_n quiet_a delightful_a kind_n of_o pleasure_n and_o joy_n for_o as_o for_o those_o little_a pretty_a devotion_n of_o the_o soul_n and_o certain_a other_o slight_a feeling_n which_o be_v like_o little_a young_a flower_n that_o be_v shake_v off_o and_o lose_v upon_o the_o least_o little_a wind_n of_o persecution_n i_o do_v not_o call_v they_o devotion_n though_o yet_o they_o be_v good_a beginning_n and_o holy_a motion_n but_o no_o way_n sufficient_a to_o determine_v whether_o the_o effect_n proceed_v from_o a_o good_a spirit_n or_o a_o bad_a and_o therefore_o it_o will_v be_v very_o necessary_a to_o walk_v in_o this_o kind_n of_o thing_n with_o huge_a caution_n for_o such_o person_n as_o shall_v not_o have_v proceed_v further_o in_o prayer_n than_o thus_o far_o may_v easy_o grow_v to_o be_v deceive_v if_o they_o fall_v out_o to_o have_v vision_n or_o revelation_n for_o my_o part_n i_o never_o have_v of_o these_o last_o till_o god_n through_o his_o own_o only_o goodness_n give_v i_o prayer_n of_o union_n unless_o it_o be_v that_o first_o time_n whereof_o i_o speak_v and_o it_o happen_v to_o i_o many_o year_n ago_o when_o i_o see_v christ_n our_o lord_n and_o i_o will_v to_o god_n it_o have_v please_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o i_o have_v understand_v at_o that_o time_n that_o it_o be_v a_o true_a vision_n as_o i_o understand_v it_o to_o be_v afterward_o for_o it_o will_v not_o have_v be_v of_o small_a advantage_n to_o i_o but_o now_o upon_o these_o illusion_n of_o the_o devil_n there_o never_o grow_v any_o sweetness_n or_o softness_n and_o suppleness_n to_o the_o soul_n but_o she_o remain_v as_o if_o she_o be_v fright_v and_o with_o much_o disgust_n and_o i_o hold_v it_o for_o very_o certain_a that_o 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or_o rank_n yet_o howsoever_o i_o see_v thereby_o that_o there_o be_v so_o great_a a_o difference_n in_o heaven_n between_o one_o angel_n and_o another_o as_o i_o be_o no_o way_n able_a to_o express_v i_o see_v that_o he_o have_v a_o long_a dart_n of_o gold_n in_o his_o hand_n and_o at_o the_o end_n of_o the_o iron_n below_o i_o think_v there_o be_v a_o little_a fire_n and_o i_o conceive_v that_o he_o thrust_v it_o some_o several_a time_n through_o my_o very_a hart_n after_o such_o a_o manner_n as_o that_o it_o pass_v the_o very_a inward_o of_o my_o bowel_n and_o when_o he_o draw_v it_o back_o i_o think_v it_o carry_v
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of_o it_o to_o whosoever_o shall_v believe_v that_o i_o lie_v during_o the_o time_n when_o i_o be_v in_o this_o state_n i_o go_v up_o and_o down_o that_o world_n like_o a_o odd_a kind_n of_o transport_a fool_n neither_o care_v i_o either_o to_o see_v any_o thing_n or_o to_o speak_v but_o content_v myself_o to_o consume_v with_o burning-up_a in_o my_o pain_n which_o be_v to_o be_v the_o great_a glory_n for_o i_o that_o this_o whole_a world_n can_v afford_v in_o this_o state_n be_v i_o now_o and_o then_o when_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v that_o these_o so_o very_o great_a rapt_n shall_v come_v upon_o i_o which_o i_o be_v not_o able_a sometime_o to_o resist_v even_o when_o i_o be_v in_o presence_n of_o secular_a people_n and_o so_o they_o grow_v to_o be_v public_a and_o this_o give_v i_o a_o very_a great_a deal_n of_o trouble_n but_o since_o the_o time_n that_o i_o be_o grow_v to_o have_v these_o rapt_n i_o feel_v not_o this_o pain_n so_o much_o as_o that_o other_o whereof_o i_o 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glorious_a s._n francis_n to_o the_o place_n where_o she_o be_v and_o she_o declare_v the_o great_a temptation_n and_o inward_a trouble_n which_o sometime_o she_o endure_v but_o now_o when_o i_o come_v to_o observe_v the_o little_a or_o nothing_o which_o i_o be_v able_a to_o effect_v towards_o the_o endure_a of_o those_o so_o great_a impulse_n or_o impetuosity_n whereof_o i_o be_v speak_v i_o grow_v to_o be_v in_o great_a fear_n of_o have_v they_o for_o it_o be_v pass_v any_o power_n of_o i_o to_o understand_v how_o pain_n and_o joy_n may_v be_v possible_o able_a to_o consist_v together_o that_o corporal_a pain_n and_o spiritual_a joy_n can_v be_v compatible_a i_o know_v well_o may_v be_v possible_a enough_o but_o that_o so_o excessive_a a_o spiritual_a pain_n shall_v be_v compatible_a with_o so_o excessive_a a_o spiritual_a gust_n do_v put_v i_o half_o as_o it_o be_v out_o of_o my_o wit_n and_o still_o i_o do_v not_o give-ove_a to_o procure_v to_o resist_v the_o arrival_n thereof_o though_o yet_o i_o have_v so_o little_a power_n that_o way_n that_o sometime_o i_o grow_v weary_a even_o of_o the_o endeavour_n i_o defend_v myself_o by_o the_o cross_n and_o so_o procure_v to_o help_v myself_o by_o that_o mean_n from_o he_o who_o give_v we_o all_o defence_n and_o succour_n by_o the_o same_o cross_n i_o see_v that_o no_o creature_n understand_v i_o and_o this_o i_o understand_v very_o clear_o though_o yet_o i_o dare_v not_o say_v so_o to_o any_o body_n but_o my_o ghostly_a father_n for_o that_o indeed_o may_v have_v authorise_v they_o to_o say_v true_o that_o i_o want_v humility_n but_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v to_o recover_v i_o from_o a_o great_a part_n of_o my_o trouble_n yea_o and_o even_o at_o that_o time_n from_o it_o all_o by_o bring_v that_o bless_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n thither_o of_o who_o i_o make_v mention_v before_o when_o i_o speak_v somewhat_o of_o his_o great_a penance_n and_o now_o i_o also_o remember_v that_o among_o other_o thing_n i_o have_v be_v inform_v that_o for_o twenty_o year_n together_o he_o have_v wear_v upon_o his_o bare_a body_n a_o certain_a garment_n of_o latin_a in_o form_n of_o a_o hair_n cloth_n this_o man_n be_v the_o author_n of_o certain_a little_a treatise_n concern_v prayer_n write_v in_o spanish_a and_o they_o be_v now_o in_o the_o hand_n of_o many_o for_o he_o as_o be_v a_o person_n who_o have_v accustom_v himself_o much_o to_o that_o holy_a exercise_n write_v very_o profitable_o thereof_o for_o they_o who_o live_v in_o the_o observance_n of_o the_o first_o rule_n of_o the_o bless_a s._n francis_n according_a to_o the_o full_a rigour_n of_o the_o same_o when_o therefore_o a_o certain_a widow_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v else_o where_o who_o be_v a_o great_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o a_o particular_a friend_n of_o i_o come_v to_o know_v that_o so_o great_a a_o man_n be_v there_o with_o i_o and_o know_v also_o the_o great_a necessity_n wherein_o i_o be_v as_o have_v be_v the_o witness_n of_o my_o affliction_n and_o have_v comfort_v i_o in_o several_a occasion_n for_o her_o faith_n be_v ever_o so_o great_a that_o she_o can_v never_o in_o fine_a believe_v but_o that_o it_o be_v the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n which_o all_o the_o rest_n will_v needs_o have_v to_o be_v the_o devil_n and_o consider_v also_o that_o she_o be_v a_o person_n of_o very_a good_a understanding_n and_o of_o great_a secrecy_n withal_o and_o one_o to_o who_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o do_v great_a favour_n in_o prayer_n his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o give_v her_o knowledge_n of_o those_o thing_n whereof_o they_o who_o be_v learned_a be_v whole_o ignorant_a my_o ghostly_a father_n than_o give_v i_o leave_v that_o i_o may_v ease_v myself_o in_o some_o thing_n with_o she_o for_o she_o be_v capable_a many_o way_n to_o understand_v they_o for_o sometime_o it_o have_v come_v to_o her_o turn_n to_o enjoy_v even_o some_o of_o those_o very_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v also_o vouchsafe_v to_o afford_v i_o together_o with_o certain_a advertisment_n which_o he_o have_v also_o give_v she_o for_o the_o good_a of_o her_o soul_n but_o now_o as_o soon_o as_o fray_n pedro_n come_v to_o know_v of_o my_o design_n he_o do_v without_o say_v any_o thing_n to_o i_o desire_v and_o get_v leave_v of_o my_o provincial_n that_o i_o may_v remain_v with_o she_o in_o her_o house_n for_o a_o matter_n of_o some_o eight_o day_n and_o so_o both_o there_o and_o in_o several_a church_n i_o speak_v with_o he_o diverse_a time_n in_o that_o first_o occasion_n of_o my_o be_v there_o for_o i_o communicate_v my_o affair_n with_o he_o also_o afterward_o in_o sundry_a occasion_n at_o which_o time_n i_o give_v he_o likewise_o account_v of_o my_o life_n though_o yet_o but_o in_o a_o summarie_a way_n and_o of_o the_o manner_n of_o my_o proceed_n in_o prayer_n and_o this_o with_o the_o great_a claritie_n which_o i_o can_v possible_o use_v for_o this_o property_n i_o ever_o have_v to_o treat_v with_o all_o claritie_n and_o truth_n with_o they_o to_o who_o i_o impart_v my_o soul_n yea_o and_o i_o still_o desire_v that_o even_o the_o first_o motion_n of_o my_o hart_n may_v be_v make_v know_v to_o they_o and_o as_o for_o such_o thing_n as_o may_v be_v subject_a any_o way_n to_o suspicion_n or_o doubt_v i_o still_o be_v wont_a to_o argue_v they_o proceed_v against_o myself_o with_o the_o strong_a reason_n that_o i_o can_v bring_v so_o that_o i_o impart_v my_o soul_n to_o this_o father_n without_o any_o manner_n of_o duplicitie_n or_o disguise_n at_o all_o and_o i_o find_v that_o he_o understand_v i_o almost_o even_o at_o
to_o abuse_v and_o cozen_v so_o many_o good_a man_n and_o i_o seem_v to_o be_v so_o very_o wicked_a that_o i_o think_v all_o the_o mischief_n and_o heresy_n which_o have_v be_v raise_v and_o bring_v late_o into_o the_o world_n be_v but_o the_o fruit_n of_o my_o sin_n but_o this_o be_v a_o false_a kind_n of_o humility_n which_o the_o devil_n invent_v of_o purpose_n for_o my_o disquiet_n to_o try_v if_o he_o can_v bring_v my_o soul_n to_o despair_v and_o i_o know_v so_o well_o by_o experience_n that_o this_o be_v a_o trick_n of_o the_o devil_n that_o now_o when_o he_o find_v that_o i_o understand_v he_o he_o torment_v i_o not_o so_o often_o herein_o as_o he_o be_v wont_a the_o certainty_n of_o this_o truth_n be_v clear_o find_v by_o the_o restlessness_n and_o disquiet_v wherewith_o he_o begin_v and_o by_o the_o bussle_v which_o he_o keep_v in_o the_o soul_n all_o the_o while_o it_o last_v and_o by_o the_o obscurity_n and_o affliction_n which_o he_o bring_v to_o it_o and_o by_o the_o dryness_n and_o indisposition_n to_o prayer_n which_o he_o leave_v after_o it_o and_o in_o fine_a because_o it_o produce_v no_o good_a effect_n at_o all_o for_o he_o seem_v even_o to_o stifle_v the_o soul_n and_o to_o bind_v even_o the_o body_n also_o up_o that_o so_o it_o may_v be_v good_a for_o nothing_o whereas_o by_o true_a humility_n though_o the_o soul_n know_v itself_o to_o be_v wicked_a and_o be_v in_o pain_n to_o consider_v what_o we_o be_v and_o make_v we_o hold_v our_o sin_n to_o be_v as_o great_a and_o as_o great_o to_o be_v exaggerated_a as_o have_v be_v say_v and_o that_o they_o be_v feel_v indeed_o to_o be_v such_o yet_o come_v not_o this_o kind_n of_o sense_n with_o any_o tumultuous_a disorder_n nor_o do_v it_o disturb_v and_o vex_v the_o soul_n nor_o obscure_v she_o nor_o give_v dryness_n to_o she_o but_o rather_o it_o regales_fw-la she_o and_o behave_v itself_o in_o a_o very_a contrary_a way_n with_o gentleness_n with_o suavitie_n and_o with_o light_n she_o mind_n be_v trouble_v in_o some_o sort_n on_o the_o one_o side_n even_o for_o that_o she_o be_v comfort_v to_o see_v how_o great_a favour_n our_o lord_n impart_v to_o she_o in_o let_v she_o feel_v that_o pain_n and_o to_o consider_v how_o well_o employ_v it_o be_v and_o the_o sorrow_n for_o whatsoever_o she_o have_v do_v against_o almighty_a god_n but_o yet_o on_o the_o other_o side_n she_o exalt_v and_o admire_v his_o mercy_n she_o have_v light_a wherewith_o to_o put_v herself_o to_o confusion_n and_o to_o praise_v his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o vouchsafe_v to_o endure_v she_o so_o long_o but_o in_o that_o other_o kind_n of_o humility_n which_o the_o devil_n bring_v there_o be_v no_o light_n for_o any_o thing_n which_o be_v good_a but_o it_o seem_v as_o if_o god_n be_v ready_a to_o put_v all_o the_o world_n to_o fire_n and_o sword_n the_o devil_n represent_v the_o divine_a justice_n to_o the_o soul_n and_o though_o he_o permit_v she_o to_o believe_v that_o god_n have_v mercy_n for_o the_o 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in_o it_o as_o i_o be_o not_o well_o able_a to_o express_v for_o it_o be_v a_o interior_a delight_n which_o comfort_v my_o whole_a soul_n and_o this_o be_v no_o mere_a imagination_n or_o fancy_n nor_o a_o thing_n which_o have_v happen_v to_o i_o only_o once_o but_o very_o often_o and_o when_o i_o observe_v it_o with_o most_o attention_n i_o think_v it_o be_v as_o if_o a_o body_n who_o be_v much_o trouble_v with_o heat_n and_o thirst_n shall_v drink_v a_o draught_n of_o very_a cold_a water_n which_o shall_v refresh_v he_o even_o to_o his_o heart_n desire_n and_o heerupon_o i_o also_o consider_v that_o all_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v ordain_v by_o the_o church_n be_v of_o great_a importance_n and_o moment_n and_o it_o be_v matter_n even_o of_o much_o regalo_n to_o i_o that_o those_o word_n which_o the_o consolation_n church_n use_v and_o say_v shall_v have_v the_o power_n to_o make_v holie-water_n become_v of_o so_o very_o different_a a_o condition_n from_o such_o other_o as_o be_v 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a_o letter_n to_o i_o declare_v that_o he_o be_v reform_v so_o far_o already_o as_o that_o some_o good_a time_n have_v incur_v wherein_o he_o have_v return_v no_o more_o to_o that_o sin_n but_o yet_o that_o the_o torment_n be_v so_o great_a by_o the_o temptation_n which_o solicit_v he_o that_o way_n that_o he_o account_v himself_o to_o be_v almost_o as_o it_o be_v in_o a_o kind_n of_o hell_n so_o extreme_o be_v he_o put_v to_o suffer_v by_o it_o and_o therefore_o that_o i_o must_v help_v he_o still_o with_o almighty_a god_n upon_o this_o i_o recommend_v he_o again_o to_o my_o sister_n the_o religious_a of_o our_o monastery_n by_o mean_n of_o who_o prayer_n it_o seem_v our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o this_o favour_n for_o they_o take_v the_o matter_n very_o much_o to_o hart_n this_o man_n be_v a_o person_n of_o who_o no_o one_o can_v guess_v who_o it_o be_v and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v the_o divine_a majesty_n to_o appease_v those_o torment_n and_o temptation_n to_o which_o he_o be_v subject_a and_o that_o those_o devil_n may_v be_v suffer_v to_o torment_v i_o in_o his_o place_n provide_v always_o that_o i_o may_v not_o offend_v our_o bless_a lord_n in_o any_o thing_n by_o it_o and_o it_o be_v very_o certain_o true_a that_o short_o after_o this_o i_o endure_v most_o grievous_a torment_n for_o the_o space_n of_o a_o month_n and_o these_o two_o particular_n which_o i_o have_v now_o relate_v do_v happen_v then_o but_o our_o lord_n in_o the_o mean_a time_n be_v please_v that_o they_o shall_v leave_v to_o afflict_v that_o person_n any_o more_o for_o so_o man_n send_v i_o word_n because_o i_o have_v already_o signify_v to_o they_o what_o have_v occur_v to_o i_o during_o that_o month_n and_o as_o for_o he_o his_o soul_n get_v strength_n daily_o and_o he_o grow_v to_o be_v absolute_o free_a nor_o can_v he_o satisfy_v himself_o with_o give_v thanks_n not_o only_o to_o our_o bless_a lord_n but_o even_o also_o to_o i_o as_o if_o i_o have_v do_v somewhat_o therein_o but_o the_o truth_n be_v that_o the_o opinion_n which_o he_o have_v that_o our_o lord_n do_v sometime_o show_v i_o favour_n be_v of_o benefit_n to_o he_o for_o he_o say_v that_o whensoever_o he_o find_v himself_o to_o be_v much_o assault_v and_o press_v he_o use_v to_o read_v my_o letter_n and_o that_o present_o thereupon_o he_o shall_v find_v himself_o ride_v of_o the_o temptation_n he_o grow_v to_o be_v much_o amaze_v to_o understand_v of_o what_o i_o have_v suffer_v and_o how_o also_o himself_o come_v to_o be_v free_a yea_o and_o even_o i_o come_v also_o to_o wonder_v at_o it_o
and_o certain_o i_o will_v have_v suffer_v many_o year_n for_o the_o advantage_n and_o deliverance_n of_o a_o soul_n let_v our_o lord_n be_v praise_v for_o all_o for_o the_o prayer_n of_o such_o as_o serve_v he_o well_o can_v do_v much_o as_o i_o believe_v my_o sister_n do_v of_o this_o house_n but_o yet_o because_o i_o have_v be_v earnest_a in_o procure_v those_o prayer_n the_o devil_n will_v be_v more_o enrage_v against_o i_o then_o against_o other_o and_o our_o lord_n also_o permit_v that_o for_o my_o sin_n about_o this_o time_n also_o i_o once_o think_v that_o the_o devil_n will_v even_o have_v strangle_v i_o &_o it_o be_v by_o night_n but_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o have_v cause_v holie-water_n to_o be_v cast_v upon_o i_o i_o see_v a_o multitude_n of_o they_o run_v away_o as_o if_o they_o have_v be_v about_o to_o break_v their_o neck_n from_o some_o high_a rock_n and_o it_o be_v so_o frequent_a and_o familiar_a with_o i_o to_o be_v torment_v by_o these_o curse_a wretch_n and_o the_o fear_n which_o now_o i_o have_v of_o they_o be_v grow_v to_o be_v so_o very_o little_a by_o see_v that_o they_o be_v not_o so_o much_o as_o able_a to_o stir_v unless_o our_o bless_a lord_n give_v they_o leave_v that_o although_o it_o may_v be_v of_o comfort_n to_o myself_o yet_o i_o shall_v not_o fail_v to_o weary_v your_o reverence_n if_o i_o relate_v they_o but_o even_o that_o which_o be_v say_v already_o may_v serve_v to_o show_v that_o any_o true_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n may_v need_v to_o trouble_v themselves_o little_a at_o these_o idle_a fright_n and_o bugg-beares_a which_o the_o devil_n be_v wont_a to_o expose_v that_o so_o they_o may_v make_v we_o fear_v they_o and_o in_o fine_a let_v the_o world_n be_v sure_a that_o every_o time_n when_o we_o make_v they_o see_v that_o we_o despise_v they_o they_o will_v remain_v with_o so_o much_o the_o less_o strength_n after_o it_o and_o the_o soul_n as_o be_v a_o great_a princess_n than_o she_o be_v before_o will_v remain_v with_o 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purgatory_n at_o the_o instant_n who_o belike_o want_v very_o little_a of_o their_o deliverance_n and_o perhaps_o the_o devil_n mean_v to_o divert_v it_o it_o be_v seldom_o that_o i_o have_v see_v the_o devil_n in_o any_o exact_a and_o particular_a form_n or_o figure_n but_o many_o time_n without_o form_n as_o i_o do_v the_o vision_n for_o a_o body_n see_v very_o clear_o that_o he_o be_v there_o as_o i_o have_v declare_v already_o and_o i_o will_v now_o relate_v this_o also_o because_o it_o amaze_v i_o very_o much_o be_v one_o day_n in_o a_o certain_a monastery_n and_o in_o the_o choir_n and_o upon_o the_o festivitie_n of_o the_o bless_a trinity_n i_o chance_v to_o be_v in_o rapt_v and_o i_o see_v a_o great_a contention_n and_o strife_n between_o angel_n and_o devil_n yet_o not_o know_v what_o that_o vision_n may_v mean_v but_o about_o some_o fifteen_o day_n before_o it_o be_v hear_v that_o a_o certain_a great_a disagreement_n have_v happen_v between_o some_o person_n who_o be_v of_o prayer_n and_o many_o other_o also_o who_o be_v not_o so_o &_o there_o come_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o harm_n to_o the_o place_n where_o this_o occur_v for_o the_o strife_n continue_v long_o and_o it_o breed_v a_o very_a great_a deal_n of_o disquiet_n another_o time_n i_o see_v a_o multitude_n of_o they_o all_o round_a about_o i_o but_o then_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o be_v environ_v with_o a_o great_a kind_n of_o light_n which_o permit_v they_o not_o to_o approach_v and_o i_o understand_v thereby_o that_o our_o lord_n keep_v they_o off_o from_o come_v near_o i_o in_o any_o such_o sort_n as_o to_o make_v i_o offend_v his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o by_o that_o which_o i_o have_v find_v sometime_o in_o myself_o i_o conceive_v that_o it_o be_v a_o true_a vision_n the_o matter_n be_v that_o i_o now_o understand_v so_o very_o well_o how_o little_a power_n they_o have_v whensoever_o i_o go_v not_o against_o god_n that_o in_o effect_n i_o do_v not_o fear_v they_o at_o all_o for_o their_o strength_n be_v direct_o nothing_o unless_o they_o find_v the_o soul_n they_o set_v upon_o to_o be_v cowardly_a and_o yield_v to_o they_o but_o then_o indeed_o they_o show_v their_o power_n in_o some_o of_o those_o former_a temptation_n i_o think_v they_o employ_v themselves_o now_o and_o then_o upon_o awake_v and_o reviue_v in_o i_o the_o memory_n of_o all_o the_o frailty_n and_o vanity_n of_o my_o former_a time_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o i_o have_v good_a cause_n to_o recommend_v myself_o much_o to_o almighty_a god_n but_o this_o put_v i_o to_o very_o much_o pain_n by_o make_v it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o now_o it_o be_v all_o of_o the_o devil_n since_o those_o thought_n of_o i_o return_v till_o such_o time_n as_o my_o ghostly_a father_n put_v i_o in_o quiet_a for_o real_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o even_o the_o first_o motion_n of_o ill_a thought_n be_v not_o so_o much_o as_o to_o approach_v any_o such_o person_n as_o have_v receive_v so_o great_a favour_n of_o our_o b._n lord_n at_o other_o time_n it_o torment_v i_o much_o yea_o and_o even_o it_o torment_v i_o still_o to_o see_v that_o man_n shall_v hold_v i_o in_o so_o high_a account_n and_o especial_o that_o it_o shall_v be_v do_v by_o eminent_a person_n and_o that_o they_o shall_v speak_v so_o much_o good_a of_o i_o and_o in_o this_o i_o have_v suffer_v and_o still_o suffer_v much_o but_o i_o quick_o cast_v my_o thought_n upon_o the_o life_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n and_o his_o saint_n and_o i_o think_v i_o walk_v in_o a_o way_n which_o be_v very_o contrary_a to_o that_o of_o they_o for_o they_o aspire_v to_o nothing_o but_o to_o be_v subject_a to_o injury_n and_o contempt_n and_o this_o make_v i_o walk_v with_o such_o fear_n as_o that_o i_o even_o sarce_o dare_v hold_v up_o my_o head_n and_o will_v be_v glad_a to_o get_v myself_o out_o of_o sight_n which_o yet_o i_o never_o desire_v when_o i_o find_v myself_o subject_a to_o persecution_n for_o then_o my_o soul_n carry_v herself_o like_o a_o great_a lady_n whatsoever_o the_o body_n may_v feel_v i_o know_v not_o how_o these_o thing_n can_v stand_v but_o yet_o they_o pass_v in_o such_o sort_n that_o the_o soul_n seem_v then_o to_o be_v as_o in_o her_o kingdom_n and_o that_o she_o tread_v and_o trample_v all_o thing_n under_o her_o foot_n this_o occur_v to_o i_o several_a time_n and_o the_o same_o continue_v long_o and_o i_o think_v it_o be_v virtue_n and_o humility_n but_o now_o i_o see_v plain_o enough_o that_o it_o be_v a_o temptation_n and_o a_o dominican_n father_n a_o learned_a man_n declare_v it_o to_o i_o very_o well_o when_o i_o conceive_v that_o these_o favour_n which_o our_o b._n lord_n be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o will_v grow_v to_o be_v public_o know_v it_o be_v of_o so_o excessive_a a_o torment_n to_o i_o that_o it_o extreme_o disquiet_v my_o soul_n and_o it_o come_v at_o length_n to_o that_o pass_v that_o whilst_o i_o be_v consider_v the_o same_o i_o can_v more_o willing_o have_v be_v content_v to_o be_v bury_v quick_a then_o that_o any_o such_o thing_n shall_v arrive_v and_o so_o when_o i_o come_v to_o have_v those_o so_o great_a recollection_n and_o rapt_n as_o that_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a for_o i_o to_o resist_v they_o in_o public_a iremain_v so_o confound_v with_o shame_n afterward_o that_o i_o will_v have_v be_v glad_a not_o to_o appear_v where_o any_o creature_n who_o know_v i_o may_v see_v i_o and_o be_v once_o extreme_o afflict_v upon_o this_o account_n i_o be_v ask_v by_o our_o bless_a lord_n what_o it_o be_v whereof_o i_o be_v so_o much_o afraid_a for_o
it_o say_v he_o this_o can_v grow_v but_o from_o one_o of_o these_o two_o occasion_n namely_o that_o either_o it_o be_v because_o they_o will_v murmur_v against_o you_o orel_n for_o that_o they_o will_v praise_v and_o magnifye_v i_o mean_v that_o they_o who_o shall_v believe_v it_o will_v praise_v he_o and_o they_o who_o shall_v not_o believe_v it_o will_v condemn_v i_o though_o yet_o without_o any_o fault_n at_o all_o of_o i_o but_o he_o say_v that_o both_o those_o thing_n will_v prove_v to_o be_v of_o advantage_n to_o i_o and_o that_o therefore_o i_o must_v no_o long_o be_v trouble_v at_o it_o this_o quiet_v i_o very_o much_o then_o and_o it_o also_o comfort_v i_o now_o whensoever_o i_o call_v it_o to_o mind_n this_o temptation_n come_v on_o so_o far_o that_o it_o give_v i_o a_o inclination_n to_o quit_v this_o place_n and_o to_o carry_v my_o fortune_n with_o i_o to_o another_o monastery_n which_o be_v very_o much_o more_o enclose_v and_o shut_v up_o then_o that_o wherein_o i_o be_v for_o the_o present_a and_o i_o like_v it_o also_o the_o rather_o for_o that_o i_o have_v hear_v it_o extreme_o praise_v many_o way_n and_o beside_o it_o be_v a_o house_n of_o my_o own_o order_n yea_o and_o also_o very_o far_o off_o from_o my_o former_a abode_n and_o it_o be_v a_o thing_n which_o will_v have_v comfort_v i_o much_o to_o remain_v where_o i_o be_v utter_o unknown_a but_o my_o ghostly_a father_n will_v never_o permit_v it_o these_o fear_n do_v much_o deprive_v i_o of_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n but_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v afterward_o that_o it_o be_v no_o good_a humility_n since_o it_o give_v i_o such_o a_o deal_n of_o disquiet_n and_o our_o lord_n upon_o that_o occasion_n teach_v i_o this_o truth_n that_o if_o indeed_o indeed_o i_o be_v resolve_v and_o assure_v that_o nothing_o at_o all_o of_o i_o be_v good_a but_o that_o it_o be_v all_o of_o god_n it_o will_v follow_v that_o just_a so_o as_o i_o will_v not_o be_v sorry_a to_o hear_v other_o person_n praise_v but_o rather_o will_v be_v great_o comfort_v and_o joy_v that_o our_o lord_n do_v show_v himself_o in_o they_o so_o neither_o will_v i_o be_v sorry_a that_o his_o work_n may_v be_v also_o see_v in_o i_o i_o fall_v also_o upon_o another_o extreme_a and_o it_o be_v to_o beg_v of_o almighty_a god_n yea_o and_o i_o make_v particular_a prayer_n to_o this_o purpose_n that_o when_o by_o accident_n any_o person_n shall_v enter_v into_o good_a opinion_n of_o i_o his_o divine_a majesty_n will_v be_v please_v to_o declare_v my_o sin_n to_o he_o to_o the_o end_n that_o the_o man_n may_v see_v how_o absolute_o without_o any_o merit_n of_o i_o it_o please_v our_o b._n lord_n to_o do_v i_o favour_n and_o this_o do_v i_o ever_o much_o desire_n though_o my_o ghostly_a father_n have_v command_v i_o it_o not_o to_o ask_v it_o but_o hitherto_o till_o very_o late_o if_o i_o chance_v to_o see_v any_o person_n who_o think_v extraordinary_o well_o of_o i_o i_o take_v the_o best_a mean_n i_o can_v find_v by_o some_o 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mortify_v her_o passion_n and_o yet_o these_o man_n will_v needs_o expect_v that_o she_o shall_v remain_v as_o entire_a and_o firm_a as_o they_o have_v read_v of_o saint_n themselves_o after_o they_o be_v confirm_v in_o grace_n the_o particular_n which_o occur_v in_o this_o kind_n be_v to_o give_v a_o man_n cause_n to_o wonder_n and_o withal_o even_o to_o afflict_v we_o to_o the_o hart_n to_o see_v so_o many_o soul_n turn_v back_o again_o which_o know_v not_o poor_a creature_n as_o they_o be_v what_o shift_n to_o make_v for_o themselves_o and_o so_o do_v i_o believe_v that_o i_o have_v also_o do_v if_o our_o
absorb_v by_o it_o for_o i_o go_v consider_v the_o greatness_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o in_o how_o short_a a_o time_n he_o have_v sublime_v a_o soul_n to_o so_o admirable_a a_o state_n he_o put_v i_o to_o much_o confusion_n when_o i_o hear_v he_o give_v ear_n with_o so_o great_a humility_n to_o those_o thing_n which_o i_o will_v sometime_o be_v say_v to_o he_o concern_v prayer_n i_o who_o have_v so_o little_a to_o say_v thereof_o to_o such_o a_o person_n as_o he_o be_v but_o our_o lord_n be_v content_a to_o endure_v it_o through_o the_o earnest_n desire_v i_o have_v to_o see_v he_o a_o great_a proficient_a in_o that_o kind_n and_o it_o do_v i_o so_o much_o good_a to_o be_v with_o he_o that_o still_o he_o seem_v to_o inflame_v my_o soul_n with_o new_a fire_n and_o with_o new_a desire_n to_o serve_v our_o lord_n even_o as_o if_o i_o have_v be_v but_o then_o to_o begin_v o_o my_o dear_a jesus_n what_o thing_n be_v they_o which_o a_o soul_n can_v do_v when_o it_o be_v all_o inflame_v with_o thy_o love_n and_o we_o ought_v to_o esteem_v such_o a_o one_o very_o much_o and_o humble_o beseech_v our_o lord_n to_o let_v it_o continue_v long_o in_o this_o world_n for_o whosoever_o own_v the_o same_o kind_n of_o love_n shall_v follow_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o soul_n as_o fast_o as_o he_o can_v it_o be_v matter_n of_o much_o comfort_n to_o a_o sick_a man_n to_o find_v another_o who_o be_v touch_v and_o taint_v by_o the_o same_o disease_n for_o it_o serve_v he_o in_o the_o way_n of_o some_o consolation_n to_o see_v at_o least_o that_o he_o be_v not_o alone_o they_o help_v one_o another_o excellent_o well_o both_o to_o suffer_v and_o to_o merit_v they_o join_v back_o to_o back_o and_o so_o support_v and_o succour_v one_o another_o like_o valiant_a and_o resolve_v person_n to_o venture_v a_o thousand_o life_n for_o the_o love_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o they_o aspire_v to_o no_o other_o happiness_n then_o to_o meet_v with_o some_o such_o occasion_n as_o wherein_o they_o may_v 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imperfect_a yea_o and_o even_o lose_v and_o here_o come_v the_o proverb_n well_o in_o that_o he_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o lose_a man_n who_o look_v after_o that_o which_o be_v lose_v and_o what_o great_a loss_n and_o perdition_n what_o great_a blindness_n what_o great_a misery_n and_o misfortune_n can_v there_o be_v then_o to_o put_v a_o great_a value_n upon_o that_o which_o be_v absolute_o worth_n nothing_o at_o all_o but_o to_o return_v to_o what_o i_o be_v say_v when_o i_o be_v extreme_o joy_v by_o consider_v the_o soul_n of_o that_o man_n wherein_o it_o seem_v that_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v dispose_v that_o i_o shall_v clear_o see_v those_o treasure_n which_o he_o have_v depositate_v therein_o and_o discern_v also_o the_o high_a favour_n which_o he_o vouchsafe_v to_o do_v i_o in_o regard_n that_o it_o have_v happen_v by_o my_o mean_n i_o find_v myself_o very_o unworthy_a of_o it_o but_o withal_o i_o hold_v those_o favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o do_v he_o 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lord_n with_o a_o excessive_a kind_n of_o majesty_n and_o glory_n express_v much_o contentment_n in_o that_o which_o pass_v there_o and_o so_o himself_o be_v please_v to_o tell_v i_o as_o also_o that_o i_o may_v see_v very_o clear_o that_o he_o love_v to_o be_v ever_o present_a at_o such_o discourse_n and_o how_o much_o he_o esteem_v himself_o to_o be_v serve_v in_o that_o man_n take_v such_o delight_n to_o speak_v of_o he_o another_o time_n when_o i_o be_v far_o off_o from_o hence_o i_o see_v he_o liftedup_a by_o angel_n with_o much_o glory_n and_o i_o understand_v by_o this_o vision_n that_o his_o soul_n be_v advance_v apace_o but_o so_o it_o be_v that_o a_o certain_a person_n in_o the_o world_n to_o who_o he_o have_v do_v much_o good_a and_o repair_v some_o breach_n in_o his_o reputation_n and_o give_v also_o comfort_n to_o his_o soul_n do_v yet_o raise_v a_o great_a false_a testimony_n against_o the_o honour_n of_o this_o holy_a man_n and_o he_o endure_v it_o with_o much_o contentment_n as_o he_o also_o do_v other_o persecution_n and_o perform_v many_o action_n which_o be_v great_o for_o the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n me_n think_v it_o be_v not_o fit_a to_o declare_v more_o of_o these_o thing_n at_o this_o present_a if_o afterward_o your_o reverence_n shall_v think_v otherwise_o because_o yourself_o know_v what_o they_o be_v already_o they_o may_v also_o be_v set_v down_o here_o for_o the_o glory_n of_o almighty_a god_n but_o now_o of_o all_o these_o thing_n which_o i_o have_v deliver_v about_o the_o prophecy_n concern_v this_o house_n and_o of_o other_o which_o i_o shall_v also_o relate_v as_o also_o of_o several_a instance_n in_o different_a kind_n they_o be_v all_o accomplish_a and_o fulfil_v about_o a_o matter_n of_o some_o three_o year_n before_o they_o be_v know_v some_o more_o and_o some_o less_o as_o our_o lord_n have_v declare_v they_o to_o i_o and_o i_o ever_o tell_v they_o over_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n and_o to_o this_o widow_n my_o friend_n to_o who_o i_o have_v leave_v to_o impart_v they_o as_o i_o have_v say_v and_o i_o understand_v that_o she_o tell_v they_o yet_o to_o other_o and_o they_o all_o know_v well_o that_o i_o lie_v not_o nor_o will_v almighty_a god_n i_o hope_v permit_v i_o to_o be_v ever_o so_o miserable_a as_o in_o any_o thing_n to_o speak_v other_o than_o truth_n and_o much_o less_o when_o it_o concern_v thing_n of_o such_o importance_n but_o a_o brother-in-law_n of_o i_o die_v sudden_o and_o i_o be_v much_o trouble_v at_o it_o because_o he_o have_v not_o have_v time_n to_o confess_v before_o it_o be_v tell_v i_o in_o my_o prayer_n that_o my_o sister_n will_v also_o die_v after_o that_o manner_n and_o therefore_o that_o i_o shall_v go_v thither_o and_o procure_v to_o dispose_v she_o to_o die_v well_o i_o tell_v this_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n and_o he_o not_o permit_v i_o to_o go_v i_o hear_v the_o selfsame_a thing_n again_o and_o again_o but_o when_o now_o i_o tell_v he_o thus_o much_o he_o will_v i_o to_o go_v and_o say_v that_o nothing_o will_v be_v lose_v by_o the_o bargain_n this_o sister_n of_o i_o be_v at_o a_o house_n of_o she_o in_o the_o country_n &_o i_o go_v thither_o to_o visit_v she_o without_o tell_v she_o of_o the_o particular_a cause_n i_o give_v she_o the_o best_a light_n i_o can_v concern_v all_o thing_n and_o i_o persuade_v she_o to_o go_v often_o to_o confession_n and_o in_o all_o thing_n to_o keep_v the_o account_n of_o her_o conscience_n very_o right_a &_o straight_o as_o for_o she_o she_o be_v a_o very_a virtuous_a woman_n and_o do_v as_o she_o be_v
this_o light_n nor_o yet_o of_o any_o other_o thing_n at_o all_o which_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o to_o understand_v and_o that_o with_o such_o a_o sovereign_a kind_n of_o delight_n as_o can_v possible_o be_v declare_v for_o all_o our_o sense_n enjoy_v such_o a_o superior_a degree_n of_o sweetness_n that_o it_o can_v no_o way_n be_v full_o express_v and_o therefore_o i_o think_v it_o will_v be_v best_a to_o say_v no_o more_o i_o have_v once_o be_v above_o a_o hour_n in_o this_o condition_n when_o our_o lord_n show_v i_o admirable_a thing_n and_o seem_v not_o to_o depart_v from_o be_v near_o i_o he_o speak_v these_o very_a word_n to_o i_o see_v here_o my_o daughter_n what_o they_o lose_v who_o be_v against_o i_o &_o do_v not_o thou_o forbear_v to_o let_v they_o know_v it_o but_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n what_o good_a will_v my_o say_n it_o do_v to_o they_o who_o their_o own_o action_n blind_a so_o deep_o if_o thy_o divine_a majesty_n do_v not_o give_v they_o light_v some_o there_o be_v to_o who_o thou_o have_v give_v it_o and_o they_o have_v profit_v much_o by_o know_v those_o greatness_n of_o thou_o but_o yet_o o_o my_o lord_n they_o see_v in_o such_o sort_n withal_o that_o they_o be_v show_v to_o such_o a_o wretched_a and_o miserable_a thing_n as_o myself_o that_o i_o can_v but_o esteem_v it_o a_o strange_a thing_n to_o find_v that_o any_o creature_n shall_v believe_v i_o bless_a be_v thy_o name_n and_o thy_o mercy_n for_o at_o least_o i_o have_v plain_o see_v a_o evident_a amendment_n in_o my_o own_o soul_n and_o i_o will_v be_v glad_a if_o i_o may_v still_o remain_v there_o and_o not_o come_v back_o to_o live_v here_o any_o more_o for_o the_o contempt_n wherein_o i_o hold_v this_o whole_a world_n be_v very_o great_a and_o it_o seem_v to_o be_v no_o better_o than_o even_o dung_n to_o i_o and_o now_o i_o find_v how_o base_o we_o be_v employ_v who_o be_v detain_v therein_o whilst_o i_o remain_v with_o that_o lady_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v before_o 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to_o make_v little_a account_n of_o that_o and_o they_o also_o who_o love_n god_n in_o good_a earnest_n and_o have_v shake_v hand_n with_o all_o the_o contentment_n of_o this_o life_n be_v certain_o wont_a to_o die_v with_o more_o sweetness_n it_o also_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o these_o favour_n do_v i_o very_o much_o good_a towards_o the_o bring_v i_o into_o a_o knowledge_n of_o our_o true_a country_n and_o to_o see_v that_o we_o be_v mere_a pilgrim_n here_o and_o it_o be_v a_o precious_a kind_n of_o thing_n to_o find_v what_o pass_v there_o above_o and_o to_o understand_v where_o in_o fine_a we_o be_v to_o live_v for_o ever_o and_o whensoever_o one_o go_v to_o settle_v and_o stay_v for_o good_a and_o all_o in_o any_o country_n it_o give_v a_o great_a assistance_n towards_o the_o endure_a all_o the_o incommodity_n of_o the_o journey_n when_o we_o know_v that_o the_o end_n of_o it_o be_v to_o be_v such_o as_o that_o we_o may_v in_o fine_a be_v in_o great_a repose_n and_o happiness_n when_o we_o get_v thither_o it_o be_v also_o here_o obtain_v that_o with_o case_n we_o may_v grow_v able_a to_o consider_v heavenly_a thing_n that_o so_o our_o conversation_n may_v be_v there_o and_o this_o be_v a_o great_a kind_n of_o gain_n since_o the_o only_o think_v of_o heaven_n recollect_n the_o soul_n in_o regard_n that_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v we_o somewhat_o which_o pass_v there_o we_o be_v induce_v to_o pause_v and_o think_v upon_o it_o and_o sometime_o it_o so_o fall_v out_o that_o they_o who_o i_o know_v to_o live_v there_o be_v the_o soul_n who_o accompany_v i_o and_o in_o who_o i_o receive_v most_o comfort_n and_o these_o indeed_o be_v they_o who_o seem_v to_o be_v true_o alive_a and_o those_o other_o on_o the_o other_o side_n who_o live_v here_o seem_v to_o be_v so_o very_o deadly_a dead_a as_o that_o this_o whole_a world_n put_v together_o can_v amount_v to_o be_v any_o company_n at_o all_o for_o i_o and_o especial_o when_o i_o find_v any_o of_o these_o impulse_n or_o impetuosity_n in_o myself_o the_o whole_a world_n seem_v to_o be_v but_o a_o very_a dream_n and_o all_o the_o object_n of_o these_o corporeal_a eye_n of_o i_o a_o mere_a jest_n and_o toy_n but_o that_o which_o already_o i_o have_v see_v with_o the_o eye_n of_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o say_v be_v the_o thing_n which_o she_o desire_v and_o because_o she_o find_v herself_o to_o be_v yet_o far_o off_o from_o thence_o this_o be_v that_o which_o be_v no_o less_o than_o even_o death_n itself_o to_o my_o soul_n in_o fine_a the_o favour_n be_v excessive_o great_a which_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o that_o soul_n to_o who_o he_o give_v such_o vision_n as_o these_o for_o they_o help_v she_o much_o in_o all_o thing_n and_o particular_o to_o the_o carry_v of_o a_o certain_a heavy_a cross_n which_o lie_v upon_o she_o for_o nothing_o can_v satisfy_v she_o now_o but_o every_o thing_n disgust_n and_o check_v she_o and_o if_o our_o bless_a lord_n do_v not_o give_v way_n that_o we_o may_v forget_v it_o sometime_o though_o yet_o we_o remember_v it_o again_o afterward_o i_o know_v not_o how_o we_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o live_v let_v he_o be_v bless_v and_o praise_v for_o all_o eternity_n and_o i_o humble_o beg_v of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n even_o by_o that_o very_a precious_a blood_n which_o his_o own_o son_n shed_v for_o i_o that_o since_o he_o have_v vouchsafe_v that_o i_o shall_v understand_v somewhat_o of_o these_o benefit_n and_o blessing_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v begin_v to_o enjoy_v they_o also_o in_o some_o kind_n even_o in_o this_o life_n it_o
not_o overshadow_v and_o even_o hide_v thy_o greatness_n who_o will_v ever_o presume_v to_o approach_v so_o often_o as_o we_o do_v towards_o the_o join_n of_o such_o wretched_a and_o filthy_a thing_n as_o we_o be_v to_o so_o high_a a_o majesty_n as_o thou_o but_o bless_a be_v thou_o for_o ever_o my_o dear_a lord_n and_o let_v the_o angel_n vea_o and_o all_o creature_n praise_n and_o glorifye_v thy_o holy_a name_n who_o do_v so_o measure_v and_o weigh_v thing_n out_o together_o with_o our_o great_a weakness_n as_o that_o we_o may_v be_v able_a to_o enjoy_v those_o sovereign_a favour_n of_o thou_o without_o be_v fright_v by_o thy_o infinite_a power_n though_o yet_o we_o be_v so_o miserable_a and_o unworthy_a creature_n i_o think_v it_o may_v happen_v to_o we_o here_o as_o once_o it_o do_v to_o another_o and_o this_o i_o know_v to_o be_v true_a a_o certain_a labouring-man_n find_v a_o treasure_n and_o the_o same_o fall_v out_o to_o be_v great_a than_o can_v get_v room_n in_o his_o straight_a and_o narrow-hart_n he_o come_v to_o have_v this_o treasure_n in_o his_o power_n grow_v withal_o to_o have_v such_o a_o melancholy_n in_o his_o mind_n that_o he_o come_v by_o little_a and_o little_a to_o die_v by_o the_o very_a care_n and_o affliction_n of_o his_o thought_n for_o not_o know_v what_o he_o be_v best_a to_o do_v with_o his_o treasure_n whereas_o if_o he_o have_v not_o find_v it_o all_o together_o but_o that_o some_o one_o have_v give_v it_o he_o by_o little_a and_o little_a accommodate_v he_o and_o sustain_v he_o by_o degree_n the_o poor_a man_n will_v have_v live_v content_v and_o it_o will_v never_o have_v cost_v he_o his_o life_n o_o thou_o who_o be_v the_o riches_n of_o the_o poor_a and_o how_o admirable_o do_v thou_o know_v how_o to_o sustain_v soul_n and_o how_o careful_a be_v thou_o to_o show_v they_o treasure_n by_o little_a and_o little_a and_o that_o they_o may_v not_o see_v too_o much_o at_o once_o when_o i_o see_v so_o great_a a_o majesty_n as_o thou_o dissemble_v as_o it_o be_v and_o disguised_z in_o so_o small_a a_o thing_n as_o the_o sacred_a host_n it_o be_v true_a that_o in_o these_o latter_a time_n and_o since_o i_o have_v be_v partaker_n of_o these_o vision_n i_o be_o even_o in_o admiration_n at_o so_o great_a a_o wisdom_n nor_o do_v i_o know_v how_o our_o lord_n give_v i_o strength_n and_o courage_n to_o approach_v it_o but_o if_o he_o who_o have_v do_v i_o and_o do_v i_o still_o so_o great_a favour_n do_v not_o govern_v i_o also_o herein_o it_o be_v not_o possible_a that_o i_o can_v dissemble_v the_o matter_n any_o long_o but_o must_v cry_v out_o and_o that_o aloud_o at_o the_o sight_n of_o so_o great_a wonder_n as_o these_o and_o what_o now_o be_v it_o then_o that_o so_o miserable_a a_o creature_n and_o so_o load_v with_o abomination_n as_o i_o be_o and_o who_o have_v spend_v my_o whole_a life_n in_o so_o little_a fear_n of_o almighty_a god_n aught_o to_o find_v with_o all_o reason_n in_o herself_o to_o see_v that_o she_o approach_v so_o great_a a_o majesty_n even_o when_o he_o be_v please_v that_o my_o soul_n shall_v behold_v he_o with_o her_o very_a eye_n how_o shall_v this_o mouth_n of_o i_o which_o have_v utter_v so_o many_o word_n against_o the_o service_n of_o that_o very_a lord_n himself_o presume_v to_o touch_v that_o most_o glorious_a body_n of_o he_o so_o full_a of_o piety_n and_o purity_n since_o the_o love_n which_o that_o divine_a countenance_n of_o so_o much_o beauty_n suavitie_n and_o affability_n discover_v to_o we_o do_v more_o afflict_v and_o wound_v the_o soul_n then_o do_v even_o that_o fear_n and_o terror_n which_o be_v breed_v in_o we_o by_o the_o consideration_n of_o his_o high_a majesty_n but_o what_o then_o shall_v i_o feel_v in_o myself_o who_o have_v see_v all_o this_o whereof_o i_o speak_v two_o several_a time_n i_o be_o real_o about_o to_o say_v o_o thou_o my_o dear_a lord_n and_o the_o very_a glory_n of_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o have_v in_o some_o kind_n do_v thou_o service_n by_o the_o great_a affliction_n which_o my_o soul_n have_v feel_v in_o herself_o and_o yet_o alas_o alas_o i_o can_v hardly_o tell_v even_o what_o i_o say_v who_o be_o in_o effect_n write_v this_o without_o know_v almost_o what_o i_o do_v for_o i_o find_v that_o i_o be_o all_o trouble_a yea_o and_o half_a beside_o myself_o when_o i_o go_v back_o to_o bring_v these_o thing_n to_o my_o remembrance_n though_o i_o may_v seem_v to_o have_v some_o little_a reason_n for_o what_o i_o say_v and_o that_o i_o have_v do_v some_o little_a thing_n for_o thy_o service_n o_o my_o lord_n &_o my_o god_n but_o since_o i_o be_o not_o the_o owner_n of_o so_o much_o as_o one_o good_a thought_n if_o thou_o impart_v it_o not_o to_o i_o there_o be_v nothing_o for_o which_o i_o can_v pretend_v to_o be_v thank_v but_o i_o be_o still_o the_o debtor_n o_o my_o lord_n and_o still_o thou_o be_v the_o party_n offend_v go_v one_o day_n to_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n i_o see_v two_o divelis_n with_o the_o eye_n of_o my_o soul_n more_o clear_o then_o if_o i_o have_v see_v they_o with_o the_o eye_n of_o my_o body_n in_o a_o most_o abominable_a figure_n and_o i_o think_v their_o horn_n do_v encompass_v the_o very_a throat_n of_o a_o certain_a poor_a priest_n and_o i_o see_v also_o my_o lord_n with_o that_o great_a majesty_n whereof_o i_o have_v speak_v place_v in_o those_o hand_n of_o that_o priest_n which_o he_o be_v go_v to_o minister_v to_o i_o with_o the_o same_o sinful_a hand_n of_o he_o for_o i_o understand_v that_o soul_n to_o be_v then_o in_o the_o state_n of_o mortal_a sinne._n but_o now_o what_o kind_n of_o object_n must_v it_o be_v to_o see_v thy_o beauty_n o_o my_o lord_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o so_o abominable_a figure_n those_o devil_n be_v as_o all_o amaze_a and_o fright_v in_o thy_o presence_n and_o willing_o enough_o will_v have_v be_v go_v from_o thence_o if_o they_o can_v have_v get_v thy_o leave_n this_o give_v i_o such_o a_o excessive_a trouble_n that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o i_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o communicate_v through_o the_o great_a fear_n wherein_o i_o be_v as_o conceave_a that_o if_o it_o have_v be_v a_o true_a vision_n his_o divine_a majesty_n will_v never_o have_v permit_v that_o i_o shall_v discern_v the_o misery_n wherein_o that_o poor_a soul_n remain_v the_o same_o dear_a lord_n of_o i_o command_v i_o to_o pray_v for_o that_o soul_n and_o tell_v i_o that_o he_o have_v suffer_v what_o i_o have_v see_v to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v know_v of_o how_o great_a power_n and_o force_n the_o word_n of_o consecration_n be_v and_o that_o almighty_a god_n will_v not_o be_v keep_v from_o thence_o how_o wicked_a soever_o that_o priest_n shall_v be_v who_o pronounce_v they_o and_o to_o the_o end_n that_o i_o may_v also_o discern_v his_o great_a goodness_n in_o not_o forbear_v to_o put_v himself_o into_o the_o hand_n even_o of_o his_o great_a enemy_n for_o the_o good_a both_o of_o i_o and_o of_o all_o man_n and_o i_o also_o understand_v thereby_o how_o much_o more_o priest_n be_v oblige_v to_o be_v virtuous_a and_o good_a than_o other_o man_n and_o how_o terrible_a a_o thing_n it_o be_v to_o take_v the_o b._n sacrament_n unworthy_o and_o how_o absolute_a a_o lord_n the_o devil_n be_v of_o any_o soul_n which_o be_v in_o mortal_a sinne._n in_o fine_a this_o passage_n do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o good_a and_o give_v i_o a_o most_o particular_a knowledge_n of_o the_o very_a great_a obligation_n wherein_o i_o be_v to_o almighty_a god_n and_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v and_o praise_v for_o all_o eternity_n amen_n another_o time_n i_o happen_v to_o see_v another_o thing_n which_o amaze_v i_o extreme_o i_o be_v in_o a_o certain_a place_n where_o a_o certain_a person_n die_v who_o have_v live_v very_o ill_a and_o that_o many_o year_n but_o during_o two_o of_o they_o he_o have_v be_v sick_a and_o in_o some_o thing_n he_o also_o seem_v to_o be_v reform_v this_o man_n die_v without_o confession_n but_o still_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o he_o be_v not_o to_o be_v damn_v though_o yet_o whilst_o man_n be_v shroud_a he_o and_o prepare_v he_o for_o burial_n i_o see_v many_o devil_n possess_v themselves_o of_o that_o body_n and_o they_o seem_v as_o it_o be_v to_o play_v with_o it_o and_o yet_o withal_o they_o use_v diverse_a cruelty_n upon_o it_o for_o they_o do_v with_o certain_a great_a hook_n both_o tear_n and_o toss_v it_o from_o one_o to_o another_o and_o this_o strike_v i_o into_o a_o very_a great_a fear_n when_o afterward_o i_o see_v he_o carry_v to_o be_v bury_v with_o all_o the_o ceremony_n and_o
honour_n which_o be_v allow_v to_o other_o i_o consider_v the_o goodness_n of_o almighty_a god_n in_o not_o permit_v the_o soul_n even_o of_o that_o man_n to_o be_v defame_v but_o that_o it_o may_v be_v conceal_v that_o he_o be_v a_o enemy_n of_o he_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_v even_o turn_v half_a fool_n by_o what_o i_o have_v see_v yet_o during_o all_o the_o performance_n of_o the_o office_n of_o the_o dead_a there_o be_v no_o more_o devil_n to_o be_v see_v but_o when_o afterward_o they_o put_v the_o body_n into_o the_o grave_n there_o be_v such_o a_o multitude_n of_o they_o ready_a to_o receive_v the_o body_n that_o i_o be_v even_o out_o of_o myself_o with_o behold_v it_o and_o it_o be_v no_o little_a courage_n which_o i_o need_v for_o enable_v i_o to_o dissemble_v the_o see_v it_o and_o i_o consider_v how_o those_o devil_n be_v likely_a to_o treat_v that_o soul_n when_o they_o exercise_v such_o a_o absolute_a dominion_n even_o over_o that_o woeful_a body_n and_o i_o will_v to_o christ_n that_o what_o i_o see_v have_v also_o be_v see_v by_o such_o as_o be_v in_o mortal_a sin_n for_o i_o think_v it_o must_v have_v be_v of_o much_o effect_n and_o force_n towards_o a_o make_v they_o mend_v their_o life_n now_o all_o this_o oblige_v i_o to_o know_v more_o and_o more_o what_o i_o owe_v to_o almighty_a god_n and_o from_o what_o he_o have_v deliver_v my_o soul_n but_o yet_o i_o go_v on_o with_o fear_n enough_o till_o i_o have_v impart_v these_o particular_n to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n as_o conceave_a that_o perhaps_o it_o may_v have_v be_v some_o illusion_n of_o the_o devil_n whereby_o to_o defame_v that_o soul_n though_o yet_o the_o man_n have_v not_o be_v hold_v to_o be_v of_o very_o good_a life_n but_o yet_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o whether_o it_o be_v a_o illusion_n or_o no_o i_o be_o sure_a i_o never_o remember_v it_o but_o it_o make_v i_o afraid_a and_o now_o since_o i_o have_v begin_v to_o speak_v of_o vision_n which_o have_v relation_n to_o some_o such_o person_n as_o be_v dead_a i_o will_v also_o declare_v some_o thing_n concern_v some_o other_o kind_n of_o soul_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v that_o i_o shall_v see_v but_o i_o will_v speak_v only_o of_o few_o both_o to_o be_v the_o short_a and_o because_o it_o will_v not_o be_v necessary_a to_o say_v much_o in_o order_n to_o the_o receive_n of_o benefit_n thereby_o they_o tell_v i_o once_o that_o a_o certain_a man_n be_v dead_a who_o have_v be_v provincial_a of_o his_o order_n but_o when_o he_o die_v he_o be_v provincial_a of_o another_o province_n now_o i_o have_v communicate_v much_o with_o this_o man_n and_o have_v be_v oblige_v to_o he_o for_o some_o good_a office_n which_o he_o have_v do_v i_o this_o man_n be_v of_o much_o &_o many_o virtue_n but_o yet_o when_o i_o come_v to_o know_v that_o he_o be_v dead_a i_o be_v great_o trouble_v at_o it_o because_o i_o be_v in_o fear_n and_o doubt_v of_o his_o salvation_n in_o regard_n that_o he_o have_v be_v a_o prelate_n or_o superior_a twenty_o year_n which_o real_o be_v a_o thing_n that_o i_o be_o apt_a to_o fear_v as_o hold_v it_o to_o be_v a_o matter_n of_o much_o danger_n to_o have_v charge_n of_o soul_n and_o so_o i_o go_v with_o trouble_n enough_o to_o a_o oratory_n and_o give_v he_o all_o that_o little_a good_a which_o i_o have_v ever_o do_v in_o my_o whole_a life_n which_o yet_o be_v little_a enough_o and_o i_o humble_o beseech_v out_o bless_v lord_n that_o he_o will_v supply_v out_o of_o his_o infinite_a merit_n for_o as_o much_o as_o that_o soul_n may_v wot_v towards_o the_o free_n itself_o out_o of_o purgatory_n and_o whilst_o i_o be_v beg_v this_o boon_n of_o our_o bless_a lord_n in_o the_o best_a manner_n i_o can_v i_o think_v he_o rise_v as_o from_o some_o deep_a part_n out_o of_o the_o earth_n on_o my_o right_a side_n and_o so_o i_o see_v he_o mount-up_a to_o heaven_n with_o very_o great_a joy_n the_o man_n be_v very_o old_a before_o he_o die_v but_o yet_o now_o he_o seem_v to_o i_o to_o be_v but_o of_o thirty_o year_n old_a or_o rather_o somewhat_o less_o but_o with_o much_o brightness_n in_o his_o face_n this_o vision_n pass_v away_o very_o speedy_o but_o yet_o i_o be_v so_o extreme_o comfort_v by_o it_o that_o the_o death_n of_o that_o man_n do_v put_v i_o now_o to_o no_o more_o pain_n though_o i_o have_v trouble_v many_o other_o about_o he_o for_o he_o be_v very_o well_o belove_v and_o thus_o also_o the_o comfort_n of_o my_o soul_n be_v so_o great_a i_o can_v not_o possible_o doubt_v but_o that_o the_o vision_n be_v true_a and_o no_o illusion_n this_o happen_v but_o fifteen_o day_n after_o his_o death_n but_o still_o i_o be_v not_o slack_a in_o procure_v that_o he_o may_v be_v recommend_v to_o almighty_a god_n save_o that_o i_o can_v not_o do_v it_o so_o hearty_o as_o before_o i_o see_v this_o vision_n for_o when_o our_o lord_n show_v i_o such_o thing_n and_o that_o yet_o i_o will_v pray_v for_o they_o afterward_o i_o can_v choose_v but_o conceive_v that_o it_o be_v as_o if_o i_o give_v a_o alm_n to_o a_o rich_a man_n but_o now_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v afterward_o for_o the_o man_n die_v very_o far_o off_o that_o the_o death_n which_o our_o lord_n grant_v he_o be_v of_o so_o great_a comfort_n to_o he_o by_o the_o knowledge_n of_o himself_o and_o by_o the_o humility_n which_o he_o express_v that_o it_o be_v of_o very_o great_a edification_n now_o a_o certain_a religious_a woman_n die_v at_o home_n with_o we_o about_o a_o day_n and_o a_o half_a before_o that_o occur_v whereof_o i_o be_o go_v to_o speak_v but_o she_o have_v be_v a_o good_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o another_o religious_a woman_n read_v one_o of_o those_o lesson_n which_o belong_v to_o the_o office_n of_o the_o dead_a which_o be_v recite_v in_o the_o choir_n for_o her_o soul_n it_o be_v my_o turn_n to_o stand_v by_o and_o assist_v in_o repeat_v the_o versicle_n but_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o the_o lesson_n i_o think_v i_o see_v the_o soul_n rise_v up_o as_o the_o other_o do_v and_o so_o go_v to_o heaven_n now_o this_o be_v no_o imaginary_a vision_n like_o the_o last_o but_o like_o other_o which_o i_o recount_v before_o yet_o these_o be_v no_o less_o certain_a than_o those_o other_o be_v there_o be_v also_o another_o religious_a woman_n of_o between_o eighteen_o and_o twenty_o year_n old_a who_o die_v at_o home_n in_o our_o house_n now_o she_o have_v be_v always_o sickly_a and_o a_o great_a servant_n of_o god_n and_o very_o diligent_a in_o the_o choir_n and_o in_o fine_a a_o very_a virtuous_a woman_n and_o real_o i_o be_v apt_a to_o think_v that_o she_o shall_v not_o have_v go_v to_o purgatory_n at_o all_o but_o rather_o that_o there_o will_v have_v be_v supernumerarie_a merit_n in_o regard_n of_o the_o many_o sickness_n which_o she_o have_v endure_v but_o yet_o when_o we_o be_v recite_v the_o office_n before_o she_o be_v bury_v and_o some_o four_o hour_n after_o she_o die_v i_o understand_v that_o her_o soul_n spring_v up_o out_o of_o the_o same_o place_n and_o go_v to_o heaven_n be_v one_o day_n in_o a_o college_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n with_o those_o great_a affliction_n and_o trouble_n which_o i_o have_v declare_v myself_o sometime_o to_o have_v have_v and_o still_o have_v both_o in_o body_n and_o soul_n i_o find_v myself_o to_o be_v in_o such_o condition_n that_o i_o think_v i_o be_v not_o able_a so_o much_o as_o to_o entertain_v one_o good_a thought_n there_o die_v that_o night_n a_o brother_n of_o the_o society_n of_o that_o house_n and_o i_o recommend_v he_o the_o best_a i_o can_v to_o almighty_a god_n and_o be_v at_o the_o mass_n of_o another_o father_n of_o the_o society_n for_o his_o soul_n i_o be_v seize_v by_o a_o very_a great_a recollection_n and_o i_o see_v he_o goe-up_a to_o heaven_n with_o much_o glory_n yea_o and_o i_o understand_v that_o our_o bless_a lord_n himself_o do_v accompany_v he_o by_o way_n of_o particular_a favour_n a_o religious_a man_n of_o our_o order_n who_o be_v a_o very_a good_a man_n be_v fall_v very_o dangerous_o sick_a and_o i_o be_v then_o at_o mass_n grow_v to_o be_v in_o very_o great_a recollection_n and_o see_v that_o the_o man_n be_v dead_a and_o that_o he_o go_v instant_o to_o heaven_n without_o touch_v upon_o purgatory_n at_o all_o and_o he_o die_v in_o that_o very_a hour_n as_o i_o be_v tell_v afterward_o now_o i_o wonder_v that_o he_o have_v never_o enter_v into_o purgatory_n but_o i_o understand_v that_o he_o have_v be_v a_o religious_a man_n and_o have_v well_o observe_v the_o
with_o a_o great_a cloud_n and_o so_o to_o become_v very_o dark_a and_o that_o so_o though_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v ever_o present_a with_o we_o yea_o so_o very_o present_a as_o that_o he_o give_v we_o our_o very_a be_v thereby_o yet_o then_o he_o be_v not_o so_o represent_v as_o to_o be_v see_v by_o we_o and_o that_o when_o the_o case_n concern_v heretic_n the_o lookingglass_n be_v direct_o break_v which_o be_v far_o worse_a then_o to_o be_v obscure_v but_o now_o there_o be_v a_o very_a great_a deal_n of_o difference_n between_o my_o see_v it_o and_o my_o relate_v it_o for_o it_o be_v no_o easy_a thing_n to_o give_v it_o well_o to_o be_v understand_v yet_o this_o have_v do_v i_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o good_a and_o have_v affect_v i_o with_o much_o pity_n and_o grief_n for_o those_o time_n wherein_o myself_o do_v obscure_v my_o soul_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o behold_v and_o see_v this_o bless_a lord_n of_o i_o it_o seem_v also_o to_o i_o that_o this_o kind_n of_o vision_n be_v very_o useful_a to_o person_n who_o be_v of_o much_o recollection_n to_o teach_v they_o a_o way_n of_o think_v of_o our_o bless_a lord_n as_o in_o the_o most_o interior_a part_n of_o their_o soul_n which_o be_v a_o consideration_n that_o will_v stick_v close_a to_o then_o and_o will_v be_v of_o much_o more_o benefit_n then_o if_o they_o be_v consider_v as_o any_o way_n our_o of_o the_o soul_n according_a to_o what_o i_o have_v say_v else_o where_o and_o it_o be_v contain_v also_o in_o some_o book_n which_o be_v write_v of_o prayer_n about_o the_o way_n how_o we_o be_v to_o seek_v almighty_a god_n in_o particular_a the_o glorious_a s._n augustin_n speak_v much_o of_o how_o almighty_a god_n be_v not_o to_o be_v seek_v either_o in_o pleasure_n or_o external_a place_n and_o that_o he_o can_v be_v no_o way_n find_v so_o well_o as_o in_o ourselves_o and_o this_o be_v certain_o the_o best_a way_n nor_o have_v we_o need_v to_o go_v further_o off_o then_o to_o our_o very_a self_n and_o much_o less_o to_o clime-up_a as_o high_a as_o heaven_n for_o this_o purpose_n for_o this_o will_v but_o distract_v the_o soul_n and_o weary_a the_o spirit_n and_o do_v we_o nothing_o near_o so_o much_o good_a i_o will_v also_o give_v a_o advertisement_n here_o to_o the_o end_n that_o if_o any_o body_n have_v any_o such_o thing_n as_o that_o he_o may_v know_v the_o better_a how_o to_o carry_v himself_o it_o happen_v in_o some_o very_a great_a rapt_n when_o the_o time_n be_v past_a wherein_o the_o soul_n remain_v in_o union_n and_o when_o all_o the_o faculty_n and_o power_n thereof_o be_v absorb_v and_o which_o last_v as_o i_o have_v say_v but_o a_o little_a while_n that_o the_o soul_n remain_v recollect_v and_o be_v not_o able_a in_o the_o exterior_a way_n to_o return_v to_o itself_o but_o those_o two_o power_n and_o faculty_n namely_o the_o understanding_n and_o memory_n remain_v as_o with_o a_o kind_n of_o frenzy_n in_o great_a disorder_n this_o i_o say_v happen_v sometime_o and_o especial_o with_o beginner_n and_o i_o have_v be_v think_v whether_o it_o may_v not_o proceed_v from_o this_o that_o our_o condition_n be_v natural_o very_o weak_a and_o not_o able_a to_o admit_v and_o endure_v so_o great_a a_o strength_n of_o spirit_n and_o that_o the_o imagination_n be_v weaken_v also_o much_o and_o i_o know_v that_o this_o happen_v to_o some_o now_o for_o my_o part_n i_o be_o apt_a to_o think_v that_o it_o be_v not_o ill_o to_o oblige_v they_o in_o such_o case_n as_o this_o to_o leave-off_a their_o prayer_n for_o that_o time_n and_o to_o go_v recover_v that_o afterward_o which_o they_o lose_v then_o that_o so_o all_o come_v not_o on_o together_o for_o it_o may_v chance_n prove_v a_o occasion_n of_o much_o inconvenience_n and_o of_o this_o we_o have_v experience_n and_o that_o it_o will_v fall_v out_o to_o be_v of_o better_a proof_n to_o consider_v very_o well_o how_o much_o our_o state_n of_o health_n and_o strength_n be_v able_a to_o endure_v but_o in_o all_o thing_n there_o will_v be_v need_n of_o good_a experience_n and_o of_o a_o good_a director_n for_o when_o once_o the_o soul_n be_v grow_v to_o be_v in_o these_o term_n many_o thing_n will_v come_v to_o offer_v themselves_o wherein_o there_o will_v be_v need_n enough_o of_o some_o body_n with_o who_o it_o may_v be_v fit_a to_o consider_v they_o and_o if_o any_o such_o man_n can_v not_o be_v find_v when_o he_o be_v seek_v our_o bless_a lord_n himself_o will_v not_o be_v want_v to_o he_o since_o he_o will_v not_o be_v want_v to_o i_o i_o be_v the_o wicked_a creature_n i_o be_o for_o i_o believe_v there_o be_v very_o few_o who_o be_v come_v to_o have_v experience_n of_o so_o many_o thing_n and_o if_o there_o be_v not_o experience_n it_o be_v in_o vain_a to_o think_v of_o any_o remedy_n which_o will_v not_o rather_o serve_v to_o disquiet_v and_o afflict_v the_o soul_n but_o the_o best_a be_v that_o our_o bless_a lord_n will_v take_v even_o that_o trouble_n of_o we_o in_o account_n for_o some_o satisfaction_n of_o himself_o and_o therefore_o it_o will_v fallout_a to_o be_v better_o do_v to_o confer_v thereof_o as_o i_o have_v former_o say_v and_o so_o will_v it_o also_o be_v to_o proceed_v after_o this_o manner_n in_o all_o those_o thing_n whereof_o i_o be_o speak_v now_o for_o i_o see_v that_o this_o import_v very_o much_o especial_o if_o they_o be_v woman_n who_o be_v concern_v and_o that_o they_o do_v it_o with_o their_o ghostly_a father_n and_o that_o he_o also_o be_v such_o as_o be_v fit_a at_o least_o there_o use_v to_o be_v more_o woman_n than_o man_n to_o who_o our_o lord_n impart_v these_o favour_n and_o this_o i_o understand_v first_o from_o the_o holy_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n and_o i_o have_v also_o see_v myself_o that_o they_o proceed_v and_o profit_v more_o in_o this_o way_n of_o spirit_n than_o man_n do_v but_o he_o give_v excellent_a reason_n for_o his_o opinion_n which_o need_v not_o be_v insert_v here_o for_o they_o all_o be_v in_o favour_n of_o woman_n be_v one_o day_n in_o prayer_n there_o be_v sudden_o represent_v to_o i_o but_o it_o be_v without_o my_o see_v any_o thing_n form_v and_o yet_o it_o be_v with_o a_o very_a extraordinary_a kind_n of_o claritie_n how_o all_o thing_n be_v see_v in_o almighty_a god_n and_o how_o he_o have_v they_o all_o in_o himself_o to_o know_v how_o to_o set_v this_o down_o be_v in_o no_o power_n of_o i_o but_o it_o remain_v deep_o imprint_v in_o my_o soul_n and_o it_o be_v one_o of_o the_o great_a favour_n that_o ever_o have_v be_v do_v i_o by_o our_o bless_a lord_n yea_o and_o of_o those_o also_o which_o put_v i_o to_o great_a confusion_n &_o shame_n when_o i_o consider_v the_o many_o sin_n which_o i_o have_v commit_v against_o he_o i_o well_o believe_v that_o if_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o let_v i_o see_v this_o vision_n at_o some_o other_o time_n of_o my_o life_n or_o if_o they_o can_v see_v he_o now_o who_o be_v sin_v against_o 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