just_a advice_n and_o that_o i_o will_v speak_v my_o reason_n and_o heart-rising_n against_o any_o thing_n that_o be_v propound_v to_o i_o which_o i_o judge_v unmeet_a and_o i_o resolve_v when_o i_o see_v my_o duty_n cheerful_o to_o do_v it_o and_o keep_v a_o sense_n of_o the_o sweetness_n and_o obligation_n of_o god_n love_n and_o mercy_n iii_o i_o resolve_v to_o pray_v and_o labour_n for_o a_o true_a sense_n of_o the_o sin_n of_o this_o nation_n in_o general_a and_o in_o particular_a of_o the_o sin_n of_o my_o relation_n and_o of_o my_o own_o and_o that_o till_o it_o please_v god_n to_o give_v i_o cause_n of_o rejoice_v on_o the_o behalf_n of_o my_o relation_n and_o of_o my_o own_o soul_n recovery_n and_o spiritual_a welfare_n i_o will_v continue_v with_o humiliation_n to_o supplicate_v the_o lord_n and_o though_o i_o will_v not_o shut_v out_o a_o great_a duty_n by_o a_o lesser_a yet_o i_o will_v avoid_v all_o manner_n of_o feast_n as_o much_o as_o i_o well_o can_v and_o all_o noxious_a sensual_a delight_n and_o when_o i_o must_v be_v present_a i_o will_v use_v some_o mortify_a restraint_n and_o this_o i_o will_v do_v in_o my_o habit_n and_o all_o other_o thing_n but_o that_o i_o will_v lay_v no_o snare_n on_o myself_o by_o renounce_v what_o occasion_n may_v oblige_v i_o to_o but_o by_o all_o mean_v i_o will_v strive_v to_o keep_v upon_o my_o heart_n a_o sense_n of_o my_o friend_n danger_n and_o my_o own_o iv_o i_o resolve_v if_o providence_n concur_v to_o go_v to_o london_n as_o soon_o as_o i_o can_v after_o the_o day_n of_o thanksgiving_n for_o the_o reason_n mention_v in_o another_o place_n §_o 9_o what_o these_o reason_n be_v i_o find_v not_o this_o follow_a fragment_n of_o she_o hint_n something_a of_o it_o i_o begin_v already_o to_o be_v sensible_a of_o my_o misuse_v the_o help_n which_o god_n have_v give_v i_o i_o know_v now_o how_o i_o shall_v love_v ordinance_n and_o mean_n of_o grace_n and_o to_o what_o end_n not_o to_o break_v my_o heart_n when_o providence_n remove_v they_o from_o i_o or_o i_o from_o they_o but_o i_o shall_v love_v they_o for_o god_n and_o use_v they_o for_o he_o and_o expect_v my_o great_a comfort_n from_o he_o and_o not_o from_o man_n and_o mean_n themselves_o this_o be_v no_o more_o than_o what_o i_o think_v i_o have_v know_v long_o ago_o but_o i_o never_o know_v it_o indeed_o till_o now_o and_o now_o i_o do_v but_o begin_v to_o know_v it_o when_o i_o feel_v my_o heart_n ready_a to_o sink_v under_o a_o burden_n of_o sorrow_n god_n be_v please_v to_o ask_v i_o what_o i_o ail_v be_v my_o condition_n worse_o than_o ever_o have_v i_o less_o hope_n of_o his_o love_n than_o heretofore_o if_o not_o why_o do_v i_o mourn_v more_o than_o when_o i_o lie_v under_o that_o curse_n what_o be_v it_o that_o i_o have_v choose_v for_o my_o hope_n and_o happiness_n be_v that_o lose_a and_o go_v be_o i_o leave_v in_o such_o a_o place_n or_o case_n as_o god_n can_v be_v find_v in_o if_o i_o true_o seek_v he_o or_o that_o god_n can_v sweeten_v with_o his_o presence_n if_o not_o why_o do_v i_o not_o content_o thank_v god_n for_o what_o i_o have_v already_o have_v i_o can_v say_v it_o be_v better_a that_o i_o have_v never_o have_v it_o than_o now_o to_o leave_v it_o no_o i_o must_v be_v willing_a to_o submit_v to_o god_n and_o be_v humble_v in_o the_o sense_n of_o my_o abuse_n of_o mercy_n so_o far_o as_o it_o may_v quicken_v i_o to_o diligence_n for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v and_o if_o ever_o god_n more_o trust_v i_o with_o such_o treasure_n as_o once_o i_o have_v i_o will_v strive_v to_o show_v that_o i_o better_o know_v the_o worth_n of_o it_o than_o i_o do_v before_o my_o thought_n often_o tell_v i_o that_o if_o i_o be_v but_o in_o a_o condition_n in_o which_o i_o have_v opportunity_n to_o serve_v god_n with_o more_o cost_n to_o the_o flesh_n than_o i_o here_o do_v it_o will_v either_o show_v my_o hypocrisy_n or_o give_v i_o more_o assure_v evidence_n that_o i_o be_o indeed_o sincere_a §_o 10._o and_o it_o be_v a_o useful_a note_n that_o i_o find_v add_v to_o this_o by_o she_o if_o my_o trouble_n be_v for_o my_o sin_n 1._o my_o care_n will_v be_v more_o for_o the_o remove_n of_o my_o sin_n than_o of_o the_o affliction_n 2._o and_o if_o god_n shall_v take_v away_o the_o affliction_n it_o will_v not_o content_v i_o unless_o sin_n be_v take_v away_o and_o my_o heart_n amend_v 3._o if_o it_o be_v sin_n that_o i_o be_o trouble_v for_o it_o will_v be_v my_o great_a care_n not_o to_o sin_v in_o my_o trouble_n 4._o and_o if_o it_o be_v my_o sin_n that_o trouble_v i_o i_o have_v the_o more_o cause_n to_o submit_v to_o god_n hand_n and_o silent_o bear_v the_o punishment_n of_o my_o iniquity_n it_o shame_v murmur_v when_o we_o true_o look_v on_o sin_n the_o cause_n though_o it_o bring_v the_o wholesome_a sorrow_n of_o repentance_n 5._o and_o if_o i_o mourn_v for_o fear_v lest_o god_n be_v depart_v i_o shall_v seek_v he_o and_o cleave_v the_o close_a to_o he_o and_o not_o depart_v from_o god_n and_o then_o he_o will_v not_o depart_v from_o i_o §_o 11._o i_o will_v conclude_v this_o chapter_n with_o a_o country_n poem_n of_o her_o honest_a kinsman_n mr._n eleazar_n careswell_n of_o sheffnall_a in_o shropshire_n who_o i_o never_o know_v to_o poetrize_v but_o now_o that_o tender_a love_n and_o passion_n teach_v he_o it_o signify_v these_o though_o it_o want_v the_o flowery_a part_n her_o danger_n of_o death_n so_o near_o to_o her_o conversion_n be_v very_o grievous_a to_o he_o margaret_z charlton_n anagram_n arm_v to_o late_a change_n the_o prudent_a soul_n refine_v from_o earth_n do_v ever_o arm_n to_o her_o late_a change_n and_o fear_v it_o never_o those_o glitter_a monarch_n who_o seem_v to_o command_v this_o ball_n shall_v be_v by_o death_n impartial_a hand_n put_v out_o and_o doom_v to_o a_o eternal_a state_n no_o mortal_a sinner_n can_v decline_v this_o fate_n death_n conquer_v scepter-swaying_a king_n but_o i_o shall_v conquer_v death_n be_v now_o arm_v to_o die_v arm_v soul_n for_o this_o one_o change_n and_o wed_v thy_o heart_n to_o christ_n and_o then_o no_o death_n shall_v ever_o part_v your_o join_a soul_n and_o thou_o because_o that_o he_o have_v life_n of_o life_n shall_v still_o possess_v be_v death_n will_v but_o this_o snarl_a knot_n of_o life_n untie_v to_o unite_v soul_n in_o a_o more_o bless_a tie_n when_o faith_n renew_v grace_n repent_v tear_n have_v clear_v the_o soul_n from_o filth_n and_o she_o appear_v unspotted_a holy_a pure_a invest_v in_o christ_n milkwhite_a snowy_a robe_n quite_o free_v from_o sin_n whole_o deliver_v from_o this_o fleshly_a thrall_n and_o hell_n black_a monarch_n and_o adorn_v with_o all_o god_n perfect_a grace_n triumphant_o these_o sing_v death_n and_o hell_n conquer_v be_v by_o christ_n our_o king_n faith_n hope_n and_o love_n such_o soul_n now_o fortify_v and_o arm_v thus_o why_o shall_v we_o fear_v to_o die_v though_o death_n divorce_v those_o long_o acquaint_v friend_n and_o lodge_v earth_n in_o the_o earth_n the_o soul_n ascend_v to_o those_o high_a glorious_a region_n where_o she_o with_o christ_n and_o bless_a soul_n shall_v ever_o be_v soul_n trouble_v sin_n shall_v then_o molest_v no_o more_o which_o clog_v which_o wound_v she_o so_o long_o before_o poor_a soul_n go_v fetter_v here_o with_o flesh_n and_o sin_n death_n do_v her_o great_a deliverance_n begin_v thy_o soul_n renew_v by_o grace_n shall_v quick_o see_v how_o blessed_v a_o change_n that_o day_n will_v bring_v to_o thou_o death_n shall_v those_o weep_a eye_n dry_v up_o and_o close_o and_o pain_v weary_a flesh_n to_o rest_v repose_n the_o grave_n will_v be_v a_o safe_a and_o quiet_a bed_n to_o that_o frail_a body_n when_o the_o soul_n be_v flee_v this_o ache_a head_n shall_v there_o be_v lay_v to_o rest_v whilst_o thy_o glad_a soul_n of_o glory_n be_v possess_v as_o banish_v grief_n end_v in_o that_o quiet_a sleep_n thy_o dust_n be_v holy_a it_o thy_o lord_n will_v keep_v till_o the_o last_o trumpet_n sound_n and_o he_o shall_v raise_v the_o just_a and_o unjust_a at_o the_o last_o of_o day_n then_o the_o refine_a body_n shall_v again_o it_o be_v late_o dislodge_a soul_n re-entertain_a and_o reunite_v chant_v well-tuned_a lay_n unto_o the_o lamb_n who_o soul-enamouring_a ray_n shall_v ravish_v saint_n with_o bless_a perfect_a joy_n free_v from_o whatever_o will_v their_o rest_n annoy_n where_o they_o with_o flame_a love_n and_o pleasure_n sing_v holy_a melodious_a praise_n to_o god_n their_o king_n rise_v then_o my_o soul_n thy_o thought_n from_o earth_n estrange_v the_o first_o be_v wrought_v arm_v to_o thy_o late_a change_n thus_o the_o good_a
and_o trouble_v upon_o my_o spirit_n and_o well_o it_o may_v be_v so_o for_o the_o sin_n of_o this_o day_n have_v be_v very_o great_a my_o heart_n have_v not_o answer_v the_o expression_n of_o thanks_o which_o have_v be_v utter_v by_o the_o mouth_n of_o those_o that_o speak_v they_o to_o god_n no_o no_o my_o heart_n have_v not_o stir_v and_o be_v draw_v out_o towards_o my_o god_n the_o thought_n of_o his_o love_n have_v not_o ravish_v my_o soul_n alas_o i_o scarce_o feel_v any_o holy_a spark_n to_o warm_v my_o soul_n this_o day_n this_o day_n which_o be_v a_o day_n of_o the_o great_a mercy_n of_o any_o in_o all_o my_o life_n the_o day_n in_o which_o i_o have_v have_v a_o opportunity_n to_o give_v thanks_o for_o all_o the_o mercy_n of_o my_o life_n and_o thanks_o itself_o be_v a_o great_a mercy_n than_o the_o rest_n all_o other_o mercy_n be_v to_o prepare_v for_o this_o this_o be_v the_o work_n of_o a_o glorify_a saint_n even_o a_o saint_n in_o heaven_n before_o the_o bless_a face_n of_o god_n it_o be_v his_o everlasting_a business_n to_o sing_v the_o song_n of_o thanksgiving_n and_o praise_n to_o the_o most_o high_a but_o my_o thought_n have_v not_o be_v fill_v with_o the_o sweet_a foreta_v of_o this_o bless_a work_n which_o i_o may_v have_v have_v this_o day_n o_o god_n i_o beseech_v thou_o forgive_v my_o sin_n and_o lay_v not_o my_o deadness_n to_o my_o charge_n but_o overlook_v all_o my_o transgression_n and_o look_v on_o i_o in_o jesus_n christ_n my_o saviour_n i_o be_o thou_o lord_n and_o not_o my_o own_o this_o day_n i_o have_v under_o my_o hand_n and_o seal_n in_o the_o presence_n of_o witness_n nay_o in_o thy_o own_o presence_n who_o art_n witness_v sufficient_a be_v there_o no_o eye_n to_o see_v i_o or_o ear_n to_o hear_v i_o thou_o lord_n that_o know_v all_o thing_n know_v that_o i_o have_v devote_v my_o all_o to_o thou_o take_v it_o and_o accept_v my_o sacrifice_n help_v i_o to_o pay_v my_o vow_n will_v thou_o not_o accept_v i_o because_o i_o do_v it_o not_o more_o sincere_o and_o believe_o o_o lord_n i_o unfeigned_o desire_v to_o do_v it_o aright_o o_o will_v thou_o strengthen_v my_o weak_a desire_n i_o believe_v lord_n help_v my_o unbelief_n thou_o that_o can_v make_v i_o what_o i_o be_o not_o o_o make_v i_o what_o thou_o will_v have_v i_o be_v in_o thou_o there_o be_v all_o fullness_n and_o to_o thou_o i_o desire_v to_o come_v by_o christ._n will_v thou_o now_o cast_v i_o off_o because_o i_o do_v it_o not_o unreserved_o lord_n i_o confess_v the_o devil_n tempt_v and_o the_o flesh_n say_v spare_v something_o what_o let_v all_o go_v and_o i_o find_v in_o i_o a_o carnal_a selfish_a principle_n ready_a to_o close_v with_o the_o temptation_n but_o thou_o can_v prevent_v and_o conquer_v all_o and_o speak_v death_n to_o these_o corruption_n and_o bid_v the_o tempter_n be_v go_v it_o be_v thy_o pleasure_n here_o to_o suffer_v thy_o dear_a child_n to_o be_v tempt_v but_o fuffer_v not_o temptation_n to_o prevail_v against_o thy_o spirit_n and_o grace_n if_o temptation_n be_v like_o a_o torrent_n of_o water_n to_o smother_v quench_v or_o hide_v the_o flame_n yet_o will_v thou_o never_o let_v all_o the_o spark_n of_o thy_o grace_n be_v put_v out_o in_o the_o soul_n where_o once_o thou_o have_v true_o kindle_v it_o but_o lord_n suffer_v not_o such_o flood_n to_o fall_v on_o my_o soul_n where_o the_o spark_n be_v so_o small_a already_o that_o it_o be_v even_o scarce_o discernible_a o_o quicken_v it_o and_o blow_v it_o up_o to_o a_o holy_a flame_n most_o gracious_a god_n o_o do_v it_o here_o who_o have_v do_v it_o for_o many_o a_o soul_n o_o what_o have_v i_o say_v that_o i_o have_v a_o spark_n of_o grace_n why_o the_o least_o spark_n be_v worth_a ten_o thousand_o time_n more_o thanks_o than_o i_o can_v ever_o express_v and_o i_o have_v be_v dead_a and_o unthankful_a as_o be_v before_o confess_v and_o be_v that_o a_o sign_n of_o grace_n unthankful_a dead_a and_o dull_a i_o have_v be_v and_o still_o be_o but_o yet_o it_o must_v needs_o be_v from_o god_n gift_n in_o i_o that_o i_o have_v any_o desire_n after_o he_o and_o that_o this_o day_n i_o have_v desire_v to_o devote_v myself_o to_o he_o and_o that_o i_o can_v say_v i_o will_v be_v more_o holy_a and_o more_o heavenly_a even_o as_o the_o lord_n will_v have_v i_o be_v nay_o i_o do_v know_v the_o time_n when_o i_o have_v none_o of_o these_o desire_n and_o have_v no_o mind_n to_o god_n and_o the_o way_n of_o godliness_n and_o do_v i_o not_o know_v that_o there_o be_v many_o in_o this_o condition_n who_o have_v no_o desire_n after_o christ_n and_o holiness_n here_o then_o be_v matter_n of_o comfort_n give_v i_o from_o he_o that_o do_v accept_v the_o desire_n of_o his_o poor_a creature_n even_o the_o lord_n christ_n who_o will_v not_o quench_v the_o smoke_a flax_n nor_o break_v the_o bruise_a reed_n i_o see_v then_o that_o i_o have_v yet_o matter_n of_o rejoice_v and_o must_v labour_v to_o be_v so_o humble_v for_o my_o remain_a sin_n as_o may_v tend_v to_o my_o future_a joy_n in_o believe_v but_o not_o so_o as_o to_o be_v discourage_v and_o frighten_v from_o god_n who_o be_v long-suffering_n and_o abundant_a in_o mercy_n rouse_v up_o thyself_o then_o to_o god_n my_o soul_n humble_o but_o believe_o repent_v that_o thou_o have_v be_v so_o unthankful_a and_o insensible_a of_o the_o benefit_n this_o day_n receive_v up_o up_o and_o lie_v not_o down_o so_o heavy_o god_n have_v hear_v prayer_n for_o thou_o and_o give_v thou_o life_n and_o opportunity_n to_o serve_v he_o he_o have_v give_v thou_o all_o the_o outward_a mercy_n thy_o heart_n can_v desire_v he_o have_v give_v thou_o dear_a godly_a able_a friend_n such_o as_o can_v help_v thou_o in_o the_o way_n to_o heaven_n yea_o he_o have_v set_v they_o to_o beg_v spiritual_a mercy_n for_o thou_o who_o prevail_v for_o temporal_a for_o thou_o and_o oft_o for_o many_o other_o why_o then_o shall_v thou_o not_o watch_v and_o pray_v and_o wait_v in_o hope_n that_o he_o have_v hear_v their_o prayer_n this_o day_n for_o thy_o soul_n as_o former_o for_o thy_o body_n they_o be_v thing_n command_v of_o god_n to_o be_v ask_v and_o we_o have_v his_o promise_n that_o seek_v we_o shall_v find_v it_o may_v be_v this_o night_n many_o of_o god_n dear_a child_n will_v yet_o pray_v for_o my_o soul_n i_o doubt_v not_o some_o will_n and_o shall_v i_o not_o be_v glad_a of_o such_o advantage_n i_o hear_v this_o day_n that_o i_o must_v not_o forbear_v thanks_o because_o the_o mercy_n be_v yet_o imperfect_a else_o we_o shall_v never_o give_v thanks_o on_o earth_n though_o therefore_o my_o grace_n be_v yet_o but_o a_o spark_n and_o weak_a my_o body_n weak_a my_o heart_n sad_a all_o these_o administer_v matter_n of_o thanks_o and_o praise_n as_o well_o as_o of_o supplication_n let_v i_o therefore_o keep_v close_o to_o both_o they_o be_v the_o life_n of_o my_o life_n while_o i_o live_v here_o and_o have_v daily_a need_n of_o supply_n from_o god_n let_v i_o daily_o be_v with_o he_o and_o live_v as_o in_o his_o presence_n let_v he_o be_v the_o chief_a in_o all_o my_o thought_n my_o heart_n and_o life_n and_o let_v i_o remember_v to_o be_v earnest_a for_o my_o poor_a relation_n and_o dear_a friend_n and_o the_o church_n and_o people_n of_o god_n in_o general_n and_o let_v i_o strive_v to_o keep_v such_o a_o moderate_a sense_n of_o sorrow_n on_o my_o soul_n as_o occasion_n require_v i_o have_v now_o cause_n of_o sorrow_n for_o part_v with_o my_o dear_a friend_n my_o father_n my_o pastor_n he_o be_v by_o providence_n call_v away_o and_o go_v a_o long_a journey_n what_o the_o lord_n will_v do_v with_o he_o i_o can_v foresee_v it_o may_v be_v he_o be_v prepare_v some_o great_a mercy_n for_o we_o and_o for_o his_o praise_n i_o know_v not_o but_o such_o a_o day_n as_o this_o may_v be_v keep_v here_o on_o his_o account_n the_o will_n of_o the_o lord_n be_v do_v for_o he_o be_v wise_a and_o good_a we_o be_v his_o own_o let_v he_o do_v with_o we_o what_o he_o please_v all_o shall_v be_v for_o good_a to_o they_o that_o love_n god_n i_o have_v cause_n to_o be_v humble_v that_o i_o have_v be_v so_o unprofitable_a under_o mercy_n and_o mean_n it_o may_v grieve_v i_o now_o he_o be_v go_v that_o there_o be_v so_o little_a that_o come_v from_o he_o leave_v upon_o my_o soul._n o_o let_v this_o quicken_v and_o stir_v i_o up_o to_o be_v more_o diligent_a in_o the_o use_n of_o all_o remain_a help_n and_o mean_n and_o if_o ever_o i_o shall_v enjoy_v this_o mercy_n again_o o_o let_v i_o make_v it_o appear_v that_o this_o night_n
your_o daily_a study_n and_o let_v i_o in_o writing_n see_v some_o fruit_n of_o your_o labour_n before_o i_o go_v hence_o and_o be_v see_v here_o no_o more_o be_v not_o want_v to_o your_o own_o comfort_n and_o you_o can_v displease_v god_n nor_o your_o mother_n who_o belong_v more_o after_o your_o eternal_a good_a than_o i_o can_v now_o utter_v my_o love_n to_o you_o all_o and_o prayer_n for_o you_o all_o i_o continue_v your_o most_o tender_o love_v mother_n m._n h._n §_o 22._o in_o another_o to_o oxford_n 1657._o all_o will_v work_v for_o good_a to_o they_o that_o love_n god_n i_o hope_v you_o be_v one_o of_o those_o the_o lord_n direct_v your_o path_n that_o you_o may_v work_v out_o your_o salvation_n with_o fear_n and_o tremble_a in_o your_o youth_n and_o not_o let_v time_n slip_v till_o age_n which_o will_v come_v or_o death_n before_o it_o on_o all_o flesh_n and_o a_o account_n must_v be_v give_v of_o the_o precious_a time_n which_o we_o now_o neglect_v i_o have_v more_o to_o 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her_o sorrow_n when_o she_o be_v separate_v from_o a_o only_a son_n who_o welfare_n she_o have_v prosecute_v with_o so_o strong_a affection_n and_o long_a labour_n and_o patience_n and_o begin_v to_o have_v much_o comfort_n in_o this_o daughter_n who_o she_o have_v former_o lest_o value_v and_o think_v she_o must_v so_o sudden_o leave_v she_o let_v those_o that_o think_v these_o too_o little_a matter_n to_o be_v tell_v the_o world_n remember_v that_o nearness_n love_n and_o sorrow_n may_v be_v allow_v to_o make_v thing_n great_a to_o i_o than_o they_o seem_v to_o those_o that_o be_v not_o so_o concern_v in_o they_o and_o that_o mr._n fox_n in_o his_o book_n of_o martyr_n publish_v a_o great_a number_n of_o as_o mean_a letter_n as_o any_o of_o these_o even_o some_o of_o woman_n and_o some_o write_v to_o the_o martyr_n as_o well_o as_o those_o write_v by_o they_o and_o while_o i_o say_v that_o i_o will_v add_v that_o though_o for_o nineteen_o year_n i_o be_v so_o seldom_o from_o she_o that_o she_o have_v few_o letter_n of_o i_o yet_o those_o which_o she_o have_v i_o find_v now_o among_o her_o reserve_a paper_n and_o that_o you_o may_v see_v what_o it_o be_v that_o i_o think_v she_o most_o desire_a and_o what_o she_o herself_o most_o value_a i_o will_v here_o add_v one_o of_o they_o not_o venture_v to_o trouble_v such_o with_o more_o as_o be_v affect_v little_a with_o any_o matter_n but_o their_o own_o which_o be_v the_o case_n of_o most_o i_o recite_v this_o rather_o than_o other_o partly_o also_o as_o a_o act_n of_o repentance_n for_o those_o fail_n of_o her_o just_a expectation_n by_o the_o neglect_n of_o such_o help_n as_o i_o shall_v have_v give_v she_o which_o i_o have_v here_o mention_v for_o though_o she_o oft_o say_v that_o before_o she_o marry_v i_o she_o expect_v more_o sowrness_n and_o unsuitableness_n than_o she_o find_v yet_o i_o be_o sure_a that_o she_o find_v less_o zeal_n and_o holiness_n and_o strictness_n in_o all_o word_n and_o look_n and_o duty_n and_o less_o help_n for_o her_o soul_n than_o she_o expect_v and_o her_o temper_n be_v to_o aggravate_v a_o fault_n much_o more_o in_o her_o near_a and_o dear_a friend_n than_o in_o any_o other_o and_o to_o be_v far_o more_o trouble_v at_o they_o but_o this_o use_n she_o make_v of_o my_o too_o cold_a and_o careless_a converse_n and_o of_o all_o my_o impatiency_n with_o her_o impatience_n and_o of_o all_o my_o hasty_a word_n that_o she_o that_o have_v long_o think_v she_o have_v no_o grace_n because_o she_o reach_v it_o not_o high_a than_o almost_o any_o reach_n on_o earth_n and_o because_o she_o have_v many_o passion_n and_o infirmity_n perceive_v by_o i_o and_o many_o other_o esteem_v teacher_n that_o we_o be_v all_o as_o bad_a as_o she_o and_o therefore_o grace_n do_v stand_v with_o more_o faultiness_n than_o she_o have_v imagine_v and_o that_o all_o our_o teach_n much_o excel_v the_o frame_n of_o our_o soul_n and_o life_n and_o be_v much_o more_o worthy_a to_o be_v follow_v and_o therefore_o that_o god_n will_v also_o pardon_v such_o fail_n as_o her_o own_o though_o i_o have_v receive_v none_o from_o you_o but_o one_o by_o mr._n h._n i_o will_v not_o be_v avenge_v on_o you_o by_o the_o like_a i_o have_v nothing_o of_o news_n or_o business_n to_o communicate_v but_o to_o tell_v you_o that_o we_o be_v all_o here_o yet_o as_o well_o as_o you_o leave_v we_o except_v what_o your_o absence_n cause_v and_o yet_o i_o must_v confess_v i_o find_v that_o it_o be_v easy_a to_o be_v oft_o speak_v to_o god_n when_o i_o have_v no_o body_n else_o to_o speak_v to_o than_o when_o there_o be_v other_o competitor_n expectant_n or_o interpellator_n just_o as_o i_o can_v easy_o now_o fill_v my_o paper_n to_o thou_o with_o some_o speech_n of_o god_n when_o i_o have_v nothing_o else_o to_o put_v into_o it_o than_o i_o can_v when_o many_o other_o matter_n be_v crave_v every_o one_o a_o place_n it_o be_v our_o shame_n that_o the_o love_n and_o glory_n of_o god_n do_v not_o silence_v every_o other_o suitor_n and_o even_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o crowd_n and_o business_n take_v we_o up_o and_o and_o press_v every_o creature_n and_o occasion_n for_o their_o service_n but_o while_o we_o be_v weak_a and_o compass_v with_o flesh_n we_o must_v not_o only_o consider_v what_o we_o shall_v do_v but_o what_o we_o can_v do_v it_o be_v our_o great_a fault_n that_o we_o be_v no_o skilfull_a and_o faithfull_a in_o help_v one_o another_o that_o we_o may_v miss_v each_o other_o on_o better_a reason_n than_o mere_o from_o the_o inclination_n of_o love_n i_o hope_v god_n will_v make_v we_o better_o hereafter_o that_o when_o we_o be_v asunder_o each_o of_o we_o may_v say_v i_o miss_v the_o help_n for_o watchfulness_n and_o heavenliness_n for_o true_a love_n and_o thankfulness_n to_o god_n which_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o have_v but_o o_o what_o a_o enemy_n be_v a_o naughty_a heart_n which_o make_v we_o unable_a for_o our_o duty_n alone_o and_o make_v we_o need_v the_o help_n of_o other_o and_o yet_o will_v not_o suffer_v we_o to_o use_v it_o when_o we_o have_v it_o when_o we_o be_v alone_o it_o make_v we_o impediment_n to_o ourselves_o and_o when_o we_o be_v in_o company_n it_o make_v we_o impediment_n to_o other_o yet_o be_v there_o none_o no_o not_o the_o weak_a of_o christian_n but_o there_o be_v much_o in_o they_o that_o we_o may_v improve_v but_o we_o be_v so_o bad_a and_o backward_o at_o it_o that_o satan_n too_o common_o have_v his_o end_n in_o make_v we_o unprofitable_a to_o each_o other_o if_o a_o good_a horse_n or_o a_o good_a house_n be_v a_o valuable_a mercy_n how_o much_o more_o
and_o passion_n under_o a_o constant_a watch_n and_o obedience_n to_o god_n and_o know_v first_o whether_o god_n command_v they_o and_o allow_v they_o §_o 7._o and_o this_o history_n may_v teach_v we_o that_o though_o god_n usual_o begin_v as_o be_v say_v our_o conversion_n in_o fear_n and_o penitent_a sorrow_n it_o be_v holy_a and_o heavenly_a joy_n which_o it_o tend_v to_o as_o more_o desirable_a and_o we_o shall_v chief_o seek_v and_o shall_v labour_v to_o moderate_a fear_n and_o sorrow_n and_o not_o think_v we_o can_v never_o have_v enough_o it_o be_v too_o common_a a_o error_n with_o honest_a soul_n to_o think_v that_o a_o hard_a heart_n lie_v most_o in_o want_n of_o sorrow_n and_o tear_n when_o as_o it_o lie_v most_o in_o want_n of_o a_o tractable_a compliance_n and_o yield_v to_o the_o command_n and_o will_v of_o god_n and_o in_o a_o iron_n neck_n and_o obstinate_a disobedience_n to_o god_n and_o to_o think_v that_o a_o new_a and_o tender_a heart_n be_v principal_o a_o heart_n that_o can_v weep_v and_o mourn_v when_o it_o be_v chief_o a_o heart_n that_o easy_o receive_v all_o the_o impression_n of_o god_n command_n and_o promise_n and_o threat_n and_o easy_o yield_v to_o his_o know_a will_n §_o 8._o and_o this_o may_v great_o warn_v we_o to_o fear_v and_o avoid_v self-willedness_a i_o mean_v a_o will_n of_o our_o own_o that_o run_v before_o the_o will_n of_o god_n and_o be_v too_o much_o set_v on_o any_o thing_n which_o god_n have_v not_o promise_v and_o know_v not_o how_o to_o bear_v a_o frustration_n or_o denial_n but_o say_v as_o rachel_n give_v it_o i_o or_o i_o die_v we_o must_v learn_v to_o follow_v and_o not_o to_o lead_v and_o to_o say_v the_o will_n of_o the_o lord_n be_v do_v not_o my_o lord_n but_o thou_o and_o in_o every_o estate_n to_o be_v content_a there_o be_v no_o rest_n but_o in_o god_n will_n §_o 9_o yet_o this_o tell_v we_o that_o god_n deal_v better_a with_o his_o weak_a servant_n than_o they_o deserve_v and_o turn_v that_o oft_o time_n to_o their_o good_a which_o they_o deserve_v shall_v have_v be_v their_o great_a suffering_n §_o 10._o this_o history_n and_o my_o great_a experience_n say_v that_o there_o be_v a_o friend_n that_o stick_v close_a than_o a_o brother_n prov._n 18._o 24._o and_o that_o it_o be_v god_n spirit_n that_o say_v prov._n 27._o 10._o thy_o own_o friend_n and_o thy_o father_n friend_n forsake_v not_o neither_o go_v into_o thy_o brother_n house_n in_o the_o day_n of_o thy_o calamity_n for_o better_a be_v a_o neighbour_n that_o be_v near_o than_o a_o brother_n that_o be_v far_o off_o §_o 11._o this_o history_n tell_v we_o how_o great_a a_o mercy_n it_o be_v to_o have_v a_o body_n meet_v to_o serve_v the_o soul_n and_o how_o great_a a_o affliction_n to_o have_v a_o unruly_a inclination_n from_o the_o body_n temper_n and_o what_o a_o tyrant_n excessive_a fear_n be_v and_o how_o great_a a_o blessing_n it_o be_v to_o have_v such_o a_o passion_n as_o faith_n can_v rule_v and_o easy_o quiet_a §_o 12._o it_o tell_v you_o also_o how_o manifold_a temptation_n and_o affliction_n god_n servant_n be_v liable_a to_o in_o this_o life_n §_o 13._o and_o it_o tell_v you_o that_o our_o great_a good_a or_o evil_n be_v near_a we_o next_o god_n the_o best_a be_v in_o our_o soul_n and_o there_o be_v the_o worst_a and_o next_o in_o our_o body_n and_o next_o in_o our_o near_a friend_n and_o it_o may_v teach_v all_o to_o expect_v their_o great_a sorrow_n from_o those_o or_o that_o which_o they_o most_o excessive_o love_v and_o from_o who_o they_o have_v the_o high_a expectation_n only_a god_n can_v be_v love_v more_o than_o he_o deserve_v sorrow_n begin_v in_o inordinate_a love_n and_o joy_n in_o good_a §_o 14._o and_o it_o tell_v we_o that_o god_n service_n lie_v more_o in_o deed_n than_o in_o word_n my_o dear_a wife_n be_v faulty_a indeed_o in_o talk_v so_o little_a of_o religion_n in_o company_n expect_v it_o be_v unresistible_o to_o confute_v in_o few_o word_n a_o opposer_n or_o revile_a of_o religion_n but_o her_o religion_n lie_v in_o do_v more_o than_o talk_v §_o 15._o yet_o her_o example_n tell_v we_o that_o it_o be_v one_o of_o satan_n wile_n to_o draw_v we_o to_o one_o sin_n to_o avoid_v another_o and_o to_o make_v we_o think_v that_o nothing_o be_v a_o due_a that_o have_v great_a inconvenience_n or_o which_o we_o can_v foresee_v some_o man_n will_v receive_v hurt_v from_o and_o so_o to_o be_v unrighteous_a by_o be_v righteous_a overmuch_o and_o leave_n much_o undo_v for_o fear_n of_o do_v it_o amiss_o by_o which_o rule_n we_o shall_v scarce_o ever_o do_v any_o thing_n that_o god_n command_v he_o that_o observe_v the_o wind_n shall_v not_o sow_v and_o he_o that_o regard_v the_o cloud_n shall_v not_o reap_v eccles._n 11._o 4._o i_o speak_v this_o on_o she_o at_o last_o confess_v error_n of_o omit_v seasonable_a speech_n and_o duty_n to_o avoid_v hypocrisy_n and_o ostentation_n which_o my_o great_a friend_n judge_n hale_n be_v just_a so_o guilty_a of_o as_o i_o know_v and_o the_o writer_n of_o his_o life_n confess_v he_o will_v make_v no_o great_a show_n of_o zeal_n in_o religion_n lest_o if_o he_o do_v any_o thing_n amiss_o religion_n shall_v be_v reproach_v for_o his_o sake_n cardinal_n ricâ—lieu_n be_v wont_a to_o say_v as_o be_v write_v of_o he_o that_o he_o hate_v no_o counsellor_n more_o than_o those_o that_o be_v always_o say_v let_v we_o do_v it_o better_o by_o that_o hinder_v the_o do_v of_o much_o at_o all_o §_o 16._o you_o see_v here_o that_o suitableness_n in_o religious_a judgement_n and_o disposition_n preserve_v fast_a love_n and_o concord_n as_o it_o do_v with_o we_o than_o suitableness_n in_o age_n education_n and_o wealth_n but_o yet_o those_o shall_v not_o be_v imprudent_o neglect_v nothing_o cause_v so_o near_o and_o fast_o and_o comfortable_a a_o union_n as_o to_o be_v unite_v in_o one_o god_n one_o christ_n one_o spirit_n one_o faith_n one_o church_n one_o hope_n of_o heavenly_a glory_n yet_o accidental_a unsuitableness_n 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away_o settle_v peace_n of_o soul_n do_v seldom_o come_v quick_o to_o young_a convert_v though_o their_o sincere_a resolution_n may_v be_v settle_v i_o find_v among_o her_o paper_n yet_o more_o of_o that_o day_n work_v upon_o she_o after_o examination_n and_o review_v bear_v with_o the_o length_n if_o i_o transcribe_v it_o as_o i_o find_v it_o under_o her_o hand_n christ_n say_v in_o the_o world_n you_o shall_v have_v trouble_n in_o i_o you_o shall_v have_v peace_n something_o of_o both_o now_o i_o find_v at_o this_o time_n this_o night_n after_o return_v thanks_o to_o god_n for_o my_o recovery_n i_o find_v my_o heart_n sad_a
i_o be_v sensible_a of_o my_o neglect_n of_o it_o and_o now_o here_o be_v comfort_n that_o i_o have_v to_o deal_v with_o a_o god_n of_o mercy_n that_o will_v hear_v a_o poor_a repent_a sinner_n a_o god_n that_o will_v in_o no_o wise_a cast_v out_o those_o that_o come_v to_o he_o but_o love_v who_o he_o love_v to_o the_o end_n this_o be_v the_o god_n who_o i_o have_v choose_v and_o take_v for_o my_o portion_n the_o same_o god_n be_v his_o god_n his_o guide_n and_o comforter_n the_o whole_a world_n be_v but_o a_o house_n where_o god_n child_n dwell_v a_o little_a while_n till_o he_o have_v fit_v they_o for_o the_o heavenly_a mansion_n and_o if_o he_o send_v they_o out_o of_o one_o room_n into_o another_o to_o do_v his_o work_n and_o try_v their_o obedience_n and_o if_o he_o put_v some_o in_o the_o dark_a corner_n of_o his_o house_n to_o keep_v they_o humble_a though_o he_o separate_v those_o that_o be_v most_o belove_v of_o each_o other_o it_o be_v but_o that_o they_o may_v not_o love_v 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to_o pay_v my_o house-rent_n which_o i_o take_v kind_o and_o it_o be_v much_o her_o win_a conversation_n which_o thus_o win_v their_o love_n §_o 7._o when_o i_o be_v carry_v thence_o to_o the_o common_a goal_n for_o teach_v they_o as_o aforesaid_a i_o never_o perceive_v she_o trouble_v at_o it_o she_o cheerful_o go_v with_o i_o into_o prison_n she_o bring_v her_o best_a bed_n thither_o and_o do_v much_o to_o remove_v the_o removable_a inconvenience_n of_o the_o prison_n i_o think_v she_o have_v scarce_o ever_o a_o pleasant_a time_n in_o her_o life_n than_o while_o she_o be_v with_o i_o there_o and_o whereas_o people_n upon_o such_o occasion_n be_v not_o unapt_a to_o be_v liberal_a it_o be_v against_o her_o mind_n to_o receive_v more_o than_o necessity_n require_v only_o three_o person_n give_v i_o just_a as_o much_o as_o pay_v lawyer_n and_o prison-charge_n and_o when_o one_o offer_v i_o more_o she_o will_v not_o receive_v it_o but_o all_o be_v far_o short_a of_o the_o great_a charge_n 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to_o live_v on_o the_o charity_n of_o stranger_n §_o 18._o when_o warrant_n be_v out_o from_o sir_n thomas_n davis_n to_o distrain_v of_o my_o good_n for_o fine_n for_o my_o preach_v she_o do_v without_o any_o repine_a encourage_v i_o to_o undergo_v the_o loss_n and_o do_v herself_o take_v the_o trouble_n of_o remove_v and_o hide_v my_o library_n a_o while_n many_o score_n be_v so_o lose_v and_o after_o to_o give_v it_o away_o bonâ_fw-la fide_fw-la some_o to_o new_a england_n and_o the_o most_o at_o home_n to_o avoid_v distrane_n on_o they_o and_o the_o danger_n of_o imprisonment_n and_o pay_v 40._o l._n for_o every_o sermon_n be_v so_o far_o from_o incline_v she_o to_o hinder_v or_o discourage_v i_o from_o any_o one_o sermon_n that_o if_o she_o do_v but_o think_v i_o have_v the_o least_o fear_n or_o self-saving_a by_o fleshly_a wisdom_n in_o shrink_v from_o my_o undertake_a office_n work_v it_o be_v so_o great_a a_o trouble_n to_o she_o that_o she_o can_v not_o hide_v it_o who_o can_v too_o much_o hide_v many_o other_o §_o 19_o she_o be_v exceed_v impatient_a with_o any_o nonconform_a minister_n that_o shrink_v for_o fear_n of_o suffering_n or_o that_o be_v over-querulous_a and_o sensible_a of_o their_o want_n or_o danger_n and_o will_v have_v no_o man_n be_v a_o minister_n that_o have_v not_o so_o much_o self-denial_n as_o to_o lay_v down_o all_o at_o the_o foot_n of_o christ_n and_o count_v no_o cost_n or_o suffer_v too_o dear_a to_o serve_v he_o she_o great_o hate_v choose_v or_o use_v the_o sacred_a ministry_n for_o wealth_n ease_n or_o honour_n or_o any_o worldly_a end_n serve_v the_o flesh_n under_o the_o name_n of_o serve_v christ_n and_o look_v to_o be_v reverence_v and_o honour_v in_o this_o take_n of_o god_n name_n in_o vain_a §_o 20._o according_o after_o some_o year_n wherein_o a_o lager_n course_n have_v be_v take_v she_o be_v against_o my_o persuade_a parent_n to_o devote_v their_o child_n to_o the_o ministry_n that_o have_v but_o good_a wit_n and_o part_n and_o be_v not_o profane_a though_o my_o success_n with_o some_o do_v much_o encourage_v i_o to_o it_o heretofore_o but_o her_o sense_n of_o the_o sin_n and_o mischief_n of_o bad_a minister_n make_v she_o persuade_v all_o that_o in_o that_o case_n she_o have_v to_o do_v with_o to_o take_v heed_n of_o devote_v their_o son_n to_o the_o ministry_n till_o they_o have_v good_a reason_n to_o judge_v they_o true_o godly_a and_o as_o she_o will_v not_o have_v pious_a person_n to_o marry_v such_o as_o be_v not_o pious_a on_o pretence_n of_o hope_n that_o god_n will_v convert_v they_o so_o much_o less_o will_v she_o have_v such_o hope_n that_o have_v no_o promise_n from_o god_n pretend_v for_o devote_v unsanctified_a lad_n to_o the_o sacred_a office_n she_o see_v how_o many_o even_o of_o good_a man_n child_n profane_v the_o ministy_a and_o turn_v to_o any_o course_n that_o do_v but_o serve_v their_o worldly_a interest_n that_o she_o be_v vehement_o against_o addict_v any_o to_o that_o office_n that_o have_v not_o beside_o good_a wit_n and_o part_n so_o great_a a_o love_n to_o god_n and_o soul_n as_o to_o come_v to_o it_o with_o absolute_a self-denial_n resolve_v to_o serve_v christ_n at_o the_o dear_a rate_n and_o take_v his_o acceptance_n and_o the_o win_n of_o soul_n for_o their_o benefice_n she_o be_v not_o willing_a to_o entice_v any_o into_o the_o way_n of_o the_o ministry_n as_o a_o common_a trade_n to_o live_v by_o in_o the_o world_n and_o will_v have_v have_v two_o or_o three_o reading_n write_v and_o catechising-school_n set_v up_o instead_o of_o one_o grammar-school_n and_o she_o will_v not_o have_v parent_n make_v scholar_n of_o bad_a child_n nor_o send_v they_o to_o the_o university_n lest_o when_o they_o have_v a_o little_a wordy_a learning_n they_o shall_v make_v themselves_o minister_n whether_o their_o parent_n will_v or_o not_o and_o so_o a_o swarm_n of_o such_o as_o have_v be_v a_o few_o year_n at_o the_o university_n shall_v think_v a_o benefice_n their_o due_a and_o take_v the_o charge_n of_o the_o soul_n of_o many_o that_o never_o know_v the_o worth_n of_o one_o nor_o how_o it_o must_v be_v qualify_v and_o guide_v §_o 21._o her_o expectation_n of_o liberality_n to_o the_o poor_a from_o other_o be_v too_o high_a and_o her_o displeasure_n too_o great_a towards_o they_o that_o deny_v she_o whereupon_o when_o she_o see_v a_o worthy_a person_n in_o debt_n or_o prison_n or_o great_a want_n she_o will_v promise_v to_o gather_v they_o such_o a_o sum_n and_o sometime_o she_o be_v put_v to_o pay_v most_o of_o it_o herself_o but_o a_o fortnight_n or_o month_n before_o she_o die_v she_o promise_v to_o get_v 20._o l._n towards_o the_o relief_n of_o one_o of_o know_a name_n and_o worth_n and_o can_v get_v but_o 8._o l._n and_o somewhat_o over_o of_o it_o and_o pay_v all_o the_o rest_n herself_o §_o 22._o her_o judgement_n be_v that_o we_o ought_v to_o give_v more_o or_o less_o to_o every_o one_o that_o ask_v if_o we_o have_v it_o and_o that_o neighbourhood_n and_o notice_n and_o ask_v next_o to_o know_a indigence_n and_o great_a worth_n be_v the_o mark_n by_o which_o to_o know_v to_o who_o god_n will_v have_v we_o give_v i_o think_v that_o beside_o these_o we_o must_v exercise_v prudence_n in_o discern_v the_o degree_n of_o need_n and_o worth_n but_o she_o practise_v as_o she_o think_v and_o special_o to_o they_o in_o prison_n for_o debt_n and_o blame_v i_o if_o i_o deny_v any_o one_o §_o 23._o alas_o i_o know_v many_o poor_a widow_n and_o oother_n that_o think_v they_o have_v now_o lose_v a_o mother_n and_o be_v leave_v desolate_a who_o i_o can_v wish_v some_o that_o be_v able_a will_v help_v instead_o of_o the_o help_n which_o they_o have_v lose_v §_o 24._o she_o be_v much_o more_o liberal_a to_o many_o of_o my_o own_o poor_a kindred_n than_o i_o be_v but_o her_o way_n be_v not_o to_o maintain_v they_o in_o idleness_n but_o to_o take_v child_n and_o set_v they_o to_o some_o trade_n or_o help_v they_o out_o of_o some_o special_a strait_n §_o 25._o to_o her_o own_o kindred_n she_o bear_v a_o most_o tender_a love_n but_o her_o care_n be_v most_o to_o get_v they_o to_o be_v good_a and_o save_v their_o soul_n and_o next_o to_o settle_v they_o well_o in_o the_o world_n i_o have_v ever_o be_v great_o averse_a to_o motion_n marriage_n yet_o she_o even_o compel_v i_o first_o satisfy_v my_o reason_n to_o be_v a_o motioner_n of_o a_o wife_n to_o her_o only_a brother_n son_n who_o it_o be_v say_v be_v worth_a to_o he_o above_o 20000._o l._n and_o her_o sister_n child_n she_o love_v as_o if_o they_o have_v be_v she_o own_o especial_o three_o daughter_n §_o 26._o there_o be_v some_o thing_n charge_v on_o she_o as_o fault_n which_o i_o shall_v mention_v 1._o that_o she_o busy_v her_o head_n so_o much_o about_o church_n and_o work_n of_o charity_n and_o be_v not_o content_a to_o live_v private_o and_o quiet_o but_o this_o be_v but_o just_a what_o profane_a unbeliever_n say_v against_o all_o zeal_n and_o serious_a godliness_n what_o need_v there_o all_o this_o ado_n do_v not_o paul_n call_v some_o woman_n his_o help_n in_o the_o gospel_n he_o that_o know_v what_o it_o be_v to_o do_v good_a and_o make_v it_o the_o business_n of_o his_o life_n in_o the_o world_n and_o know_v what_o it_o be_v to_o give_v account_n of_o our_o stewardship_n and_o to_o be_v doom_v as_o the_o unprofitable_a slothful_a servant_n will_v know_v how_o to_o answer_v this_o accusation_n §_o 28._o another_o accusation_n be_v that_o she_o be_v wasteful_a and_o imprudent_a in_o leave_v i_o so_o much_o in_o debt_n to_o that_o i_o answer_v 1._o let_v any_o one_o that_o read_v what_o go_v before_o consider_v what_o she_o do_v and_o he_o will_v not_o wonder_v at_o her_o debt_n it_o be_v not_o to_o pamper_v she_o own_o body_n she_o use_v mean_a clothing_n and_o a_o far_o mean_a diet_n for_o she_o own_o person_n i_o think_v much_o less_o than_o cornario_n and_o lessius_n proportion_n 2._o and_o she_o go_v into_o no_o debt_n but_o by_o mortgage_n or_o otherwise_o she_o give_v the_o creditor_n good_a security_n for_o 3._o but_o i_o confess_v she_o and_o i_o differ_v in_o this_o i_o think_v i_o be_v to_o give_v but_o all_o my_o income_n and_o not_o to_o borrow_v to_o give_v unless_o in_o some_o public_a or_o extraordinary_a case_n she_o think_v otherwise_o that_o while_o she_o can_v give_v security_n she_o ought_v to_o borrow_v to_o relieve_v the_o poor_a especial_o the_o most_o worthy_a nor_o do_v she_o draw_v upon_o we_o any_o debt_n but_o what_o there_o be_v not_o only_o sufficient_a security_n for_o but_o also_o a_o fair_a prospect_n of_o ourselves_o have_v a_o competency_n
to_o supply_v the_o notorious_a necessity_n of_o the_o people_n and_o as_o helper_n of_o the_o allow_a ministry_n the_o good_a woman_n think_v this_o have_v be_v read_v the_o common-prayer_n and_o in_o a_o letter_n which_o i_o now_o find_v accuse_v my_o wife_n with_o five_o or_o six_o vehement_a charge_n for_o tell_v she_o i_o will_v not_o read_v 〈◊〉_d common-prayer_n my_o wife_n be_v of_o my_o mind_n for_o the_o matter_n but_o great_o offend_v with_o i_o for_o seem_v to_o do_v it_o for_o the_o avoid_n of_o danger_n and_o be_v so_o far_o from_o not_o pardon_v these_o false_a smart_a accusation_n that_o she_o never_o once_o blame_v the_o good_a woman_n but_o love_v she_o tender_v she_o and_o relieve_v she_o in_o sickness_n to_o the_o death_n but_o hardly_o forgive_v i_o and_o yet_o draw_v i_o from_o all_o other_o place_n if_o the_o minister_n be_v not_o of_o my_o mind_n by_o prudent_a diversity_n much_o less_o do_v her_o suffering_n from_o the_o time_n distemper_v she_o she_o have_v blame_v i_o for_o name_v in_o print_n my_o loss_n imprisonment_n and_o other_o suffering_n by_o the_o bishop_n as_o be_v over_o selfish_a queralousness_n when_o i_o shall_v rather_o with_o wonder_n be_v thankful_a for_o the_o great_a mercy_n we_o yet_o enjoy_v though_o i_o think_v i_o never_o mention_v they_o as_o over-sensible_a of_o the_o suffering_n but_o as_o a_o necessary_a evince_a of_o the_o nature_n of_o the_o cause_n and_o as_o part_v of_o the_o necessary_a history_n or_o matter_n of_o fact_n in_o order_n to_o decide_v it_o she_z as_o much_o dislike_v the_o silence_v of_o the_o minister_n as_o any_o but_o she_o do_v not_o love_v to_o hear_v it_o much_o complain_v of_o save_v as_o the_o public_a loss_n nor_o to_o hear_v conformist_n talk_v against_o as_o a_o party_n nor_o the_o fault_n of_o the_o conscientious_a sort_n of_o they_o aggravate_v in_o a_o side_a factious_a manner_n but_o 1._o she_o be_v prone_a to_o overlove_v her_o relation_n and_o those_o good_a people_n poor_a as_o much_o as_o rich_a who_o she_o think_v most_o upright_o the_o love_n be_v good_a but_o the_o degree_n be_v too_o passionate_a 2._o she_o over-earnest_o desire_v their_o spiritual_a welfare_n if_o these_o who_o she_o overloved_n have_v not_o be_v as_o good_a and_o do_v as_o well_o as_o she_o will_v have_v they_o in_o innocent_a behaviour_n in_o piety_n and_o if_o rich_a in_o liberality_n it_o over-troubled_n she_o and_o she_o can_v not_o bear_v it_o 3._o she_o be_v apt_a when_o she_o set_v her_o mind_n and_o heart_n upon_o some_o good_a work_n which_o she_o count_v great_a or_o the_o welfare_n of_o some_o dear_a friend_n to_o be_v too_o much_o please_v in_o her_o expectation_n and_o self-made_a promise_n of_o the_o success_n and_o then_o almost_o overturn_v with_o trouble_n when_o they_o disappoint_v she_o and_o she_o too_o impatient_o bear_v unkindness_n from_o the_o friend_n that_o be_v most_o dear_a to_o she_o or_o who_o she_o have_v much_o oblige_v her_o will_n be_v set_v upon_o good_a but_o her_o weakness_n can_v not_o bear_v the_o cross_n or_o frustration_n of_o it_o §_o 12._o but_o the_o great_a infirmity_n which_o tyrannize_v over_o she_o be_v a_o disease_a fearfulness_n against_o which_o she_o have_v little_o more_o free_a will_n or_o power_n than_o a_o man_n in_o a_o ague_n or_o frost_n against_o shake_v cold_a her_o nature_n be_v prone_a to_o it_o and_o i_o say_v before_o abundance_n of_o sad_a accident_n make_v that_o and_o trouble_v of_o mind_n her_o malady_n beside_o as_o she_o say_v four_o time_n in_o danger_n of_o death_n 2._o and_o the_o storm_a of_o her_o mother_n house_n by_o soldier_n fire_v part_n kill_v plunder_v and_o threaten_v the_o rest_n 3._o the_o awakening_n of_o her_o conversion_n 4._o the_o sentence_n of_o death_n by_o sickness_n present_o before_o her_o peace_n be_v settle_v 5._o the_o fire_n next_o her_o lodging_n in_o sweetings-alley_n 6._o the_o burn_a of_o a_o merchant_n his_o wife_n and_o family_n in_o lothbury_n overagainst_a her_o brother_n vpton_n door_n 7._o the_o common_a terror_n and_o confusion_n at_o dunstan_n church_n in_o fleetstreet_n when_o they_o think_v the_o church_n be_v fall_v on_o their_o head_n while_o i_o be_v preach_v and_o the_o people_n cast_v themselves_o down_o from_o the_o gallery_n 8._o her_o mother_n death_n 9_o the_o friendless_a state_n she_o think_v she_o be_v then_o leave_v in_o 10._o the_o great_a plague_n 11._o the_o burn_v of_o london_n 12._o the_o crack_n and_o danger_n of_o her_o chamber_n in_o aldersgate_n street_n 13._o the_o crack_n and_o confusion_n at_o st._n jame_n market-house_n 14._o the_o many_o fire_n and_o talk_n of_o fire_v since_o 15._o the_o common_a rumour_n of_o murdering_n and_o massacre_n 16._o the_o death_n and_o danger_n of_o many_o of_o her_o friend_n and_o my_o own_o illness_n more_o than_o all_o these_o concur_v to_o make_v fear_n and_o aptness_n to_o be_v trouble_v to_o be_v her_o disease_n so_o that_o she_o much_o dream_v of_o fire_n and_o murderer_n and_o her_o own_o dream_n work_v half_a as_o dangerous_o on_o she_o as_o reality_n so_o that_o she_o can_v not_o bear_v the_o clap_v of_o a_o door_n or_o any_o thing_n that_o have_v suddenness_n noise_n or_o fierceness_n in_o it_o but_o all_o this_o be_v more_o the_o malady_n of_o her_o body_n than_o of_o her_o soul_n and_o i_o account_v have_v little_a moral_a guilt_n and_o i_o take_v it_o for_o a_o evidence_n of_o the_o power_n of_o grace_n that_o so_o timorous_a a_o person_n 1._o have_v overcome_v most_o of_o her_o fear_n of_o hell_n and_o god_n desertion_n 2._o and_o be_v more_o fearless_a of_o persecution_n imprisonment_n or_o loss_n and_o poverty_n thereby_o than_o i_o or_o any_o that_o i_o remember_v to_o have_v know_v §_o 13._o and_o though_o her_o spirit_n be_v so_o quick_a and_o she_o so_o apt_a to_o be_v trouble_v at_o man_n sin_n who_o she_o much_o love_v she_o great_o differ_v from_o i_o in_o her_o bear_n with_o they_o and_o carriage_n towards_o they_o my_o temper_n and_o judgement_n much_o lead_v i_o to_o use_v my_o dependent_n servant_n and_o friend_n according_a to_o the_o rule_n of_o church-discipline_n and_o if_o they_o hear_v not_o love_v private_a admonition_n once_o twice_o and_o thrice_o to_o speak_v to_o they_o more_o sharp_o and_o then_o before_o other_o and_o to_o turn_v they_o off_o if_o yet_o they_o will_v not_o amend_v but_o her_o way_n be_v to_o oblige_v they_o by_o all_o the_o love_n kindness_n and_o bounty_n that_o she_o be_v able_a and_o to_o bear_v with_o they_o year_n after_o year_n while_o there_o be_v hope_n and_o at_o last_o not_o to_o desert_v they_o but_o still_o use_v they_o so_o as_o she_o though_o be_v like_a at_o least_o to_o keep_v they_o in_o a_o state_n of_o hope_n from_o the_o badness_n which_o displicency_n may_v cause_v i_o can_v not_o have_v bear_v with_o a_o son_n i_o think_v as_o she_o can_v do_v where_o her_o kindness_n be_v at_o she_o own_o choice_n and_o yet_o she_o more_o dislike_v the_o least_o fault_n than_o i_o do_v and_o be_v more_o desirous_a of_o their_o great_a innocency_n and_o exactness_n §_o 14._o indeed_o she_o be_v so_o much_o for_o calmness_n deliberation_n and_o do_v nothing_o rash_o and_o in_o haste_n and_o my_o condition_n and_o business_n as_o well_o as_o temper_v make_v i_o do_v and_o speak_v much_o so_o sudden_o that_o she_o principal_o differ_v from_o i_o and_o blame_v i_o in_o this_o every_o considerable_a case_n and_o business_n she_o will_v have_v i_o take_v time_n to_o think_v much_o of_o before_o i_o do_v it_o or_o speak_v or_o resolve_v of_o any_o thing_n i_o know_v the_o counsel_n be_v good_a for_o one_o that_o can_v stay_v but_o not_o for_o one_o that_o must_v ride_v post_n i_o think_v still_o i_o have_v but_o a_o little_a time_n to_o live_v i_o think_v some_o considerable_a work_n still_o call_v for_o haste_n i_o have_v these_o forty_o year_n be_v sensible_a of_o the_o sin_n of_o lose_v time_n i_o can_v not_o spare_v a_o hour_n i_o think_v i_o can_v understand_v the_o matter_n in_o question_n as_o well_o at_o a_o few_o thought_n as_o in_o many_o day_n and_o yet_o she_o that_o have_v less_o work_n and_o more_o leisure_n but_o a_o far_o quick_a apprehension_n than_o i_o be_v all_o for_o stay_v to_o consider_v and_o against_o haste_n and_o eagerness_n in_o almost_o every_o thing_n and_o notwithstanding_o she_o over_o quick_a and_o feel_a temper_n be_v all_o for_o mildness_n calmness_n gentleness_n pleasingness_n and_o serenity_n §_o 15._o she_o have_v a_o earnest_a desire_n of_o the_o conversion_n and_o salvation_n of_o her_o servant_n and_o be_v great_o trouble_v that_o so_o many_o of_o they_o though_o tolerable_a in_o their_o work_n go_v away_o ignorant_a or_o strange_a to_o true_a
godliness_n as_o they_o come_v and_o such_o as_o be_v true_o convert_v with_o we_o she_o love_v as_o child_n §_o 16._o one_o infirmity_n make_v she_o faulty_a in_o the_o omission_n of_o much_o of_o her_o duty_n she_o be_v wont_a to_o say_v that_o she_o have_v from_o her_o childhood_n imprint_v a_o deep_a fear_n and_o hatred_n of_o hypocrisy_n on_o her_o mind_n that_o she_o can_v never_o do_v the_o outside_n of_o her_o duty_n as_o to_o the_o speak_a part_n for_o fear_v of_o hypocrisy_n i_o scarce_o ever_o meet_v with_o a_o person_n that_o be_v able_a to_o speak_v long_o for_o matter_n and_o good_a language_n without_o repetition_n even_o about_o religious_a thing_n and_o few_o that_o have_v more_o desire_n that_o it_o be_v well_o do_v and_o yet_o she_o can_v not_o do_v it_o herself_o for_o fear_n of_o seem_v to_o be_v guilty_a of_o ostentation_n in_o good_a company_n she_o will_v speak_v little_a of_o that_o which_o she_o most_o desire_a to_o hear_v when_o i_o be_v at_o any_o time_n from_o home_n she_o will_v not_o pray_v in_o the_o family_n though_o she_o can_v not_o endure_v to_o be_v without_o it_o she_o will_v private_o talk_v to_o the_o servant_n and_o read_v good_a book_n to_o they_o most_o of_o the_o open_a speak_a part_n of_o religion_n she_o omit_v through_o a_o disease_a enmity_n to_o ostentation_n and_o hypocrisy_n but_o of_o late_a year_n when_o she_o see_v i_o and_o other_o too_o spare_v in_o profitable_a speech_n to_o young_a and_o ignorant_a people_n she_o confess_v that_o she_o see_v her_o error_n and_o that_o even_o a_o hypocrite_n use_v but_o the_o word_n and_o outside_n of_o religion_n be_v better_a to_o other_o than_o silence_n and_o unprofitable_a omission_n be_v §_o 17._o her_o houshold-affair_n she_o order_v with_o so_o so_o great_a skill_n and_o decency_n as_o that_o other_o much_o praise_v that_o which_o i_o be_v no_o fit_a judge_n of_o i_o have_v be_v breed_v among_o plain_a mean_a people_n and_o i_o think_v that_o so_o much_o wash_v of_o stair_n and_o room_n to_o keep_v they_o as_o clean_o as_o their_o trencher_n and_o dish_n and_o so_o much_o ado_n about_o cleanliness_n and_o trifle_n be_v a_o sinful_a curiosity_n and_o expense_n of_o servant_n time_n who_o may_v that_o while_n have_v be_v read_v some_o good_a book_n but_o she_o that_o be_v otherwise_o breed_v have_v somewhat_o other_o thought_n §_o 18._o her_o great_a tender_a impatiency_n lie_v much_o in_o her_o ear_n she_o can_v not_o bear_v without_o great_a reason_n a_o dispute_a contradiction_n nor_o yet_o to_o hear_v sad_a tiding_n nor_o any_o hard_a prognostic_n and_o it_o be_v because_o she_o feel_v the_o weakness_n of_o her_o own_o head_n and_o for_o twenty_o year_n live_v in_o too_o great_a fear_n of_o the_o overthrow_n of_o her_o understanding_n and_o i_o be_v apt_a to_o think_v it_o be_v but_o a_o passionate_a fanciful_a fear_n and_o be_v too_o apt_a to_o be_v impatient_a with_o her_o impatiency_n and_o with_o every_o trouble_n of_o her_o mind_n not_o enough_o consider_v how_o great_a tenderness_n in_o all_o our_o discourse_n she_o need_v though_o i_o remember_v nothing_o else_o that_o ever_o i_o show_v impatience_n to_o she_o in_o but_o ever_o since_o her_o first_o danger_n and_o strong_a affection_n i_o can_v hardly_o bear_v any_o signification_n of_o her_o displeasure_n and_o discontent_n and_o she_o be_v wont_v oft_o to_o say_v it_o be_v a_o great_a mercy_n of_o god_n not_o to_o know_v what_o will_v befall_v we_o in_o this_o world_n nor_o how_o we_o shall_v be_v sick_a or_o suffer_v or_o die_v that_o our_o foreknowledge_n may_v not_o anticipate_v our_o sorrow_n though_o in_o the_o general_n we_o shall_v be_v always_o ready_a §_o 19_o she_o be_v the_o great_a honourer_n of_o her_o mother_n and_o most_o sincere_o love_v she_o that_o ever_o i_o know_v a_o child_n do_v to_o a_o parent_n she_o believe_v the_o promise_n of_o the_o five_o commandment_n and_o believe_v that_o it_o do_v imply_v a_o answerable_a curse_n to_o they_o that_o break_v it_o and_o that_o as_o honour_v parent_n have_v even_o the_o promise_n of_o blessing_n on_o earth_n so_o the_o dishonour_v they_o be_v like_a to_o bring_v a_o curse_n upon_o the_o person_n or_o family_n that_o be_v guilty_a of_o it_o and_o that_o how_o great_a soever_o their_o present_a prosperity_n may_v seem_v it_o be_v come_v and_o will_v overtake_v they_o either_o in_o their_o body_n child_n or_o estate_n prov._n 30._o 17._o the_o eye_n that_o mock_v at_o his_o father_n and_o despise_v to_o obey_v his_o mother_n the_o raven_n of_o the_o valley_n shall_v pick_v it_o out_o and_o the_o young_a eagle_n shall_v eat_v it_o and_o such_o by_o moses_n law_n be_v to_o be_v put_v to_o death_n deut._n 27._o 16._o curse_a be_v he_o that_o set_v light_n by_o his_o father_z or_o his_o mother_n and_o let_v all_z the_o people_z say_v amen_o and_o will_v god_n suspend_v it_o till_o the_o sinner_n say_v amen_o o_o no._n and_o what_o be_v that_o person_n case_v that_o live_v under_o this_o curse_n of_o god_n if_o the_o body_n escape_v it_o and_o posterity_n escape_v it_o and_o the_o estate_n escape_v it_o yea_o and_o a_o sear_a conscience_n escape_v it_o few_o year_n the_o soul_n will_v not_o escape_v it_o for_o ever_o without_o deep_a and_o through_o repentance_n for_o christ_n have_v redeem_v none_o but_o sincere_a penitent_n from_o the_o curse_n yea_o even_o such_o seldom_o escape_v the_o temporal_a sharp_a chastisement_n and_o very_o worthy_a be_v her_o mother_n of_o her_o love_n and_o honour_n all_o her_o letter_n to_o she_o when_o she_o be_v from_o home_n i_o find_v now_o lay_v up_o by_o she_o as_o a_o treasure_n sure_a i_o will_v transcribe_v part_n of_o some_o of_o they_o that_o you_o may_v perceive_v her_o plain_a and_o honest_a care_n of_o her_o child_n soul_n §_o 20._o in_o one_o 1657._o to_o this_o daughter_n at_o oxford_n she_o write_v thus_o i_o can_v but_o put_v you_o in_o mind_n of_o your_o duty_n you_o owe_v to_o god_n i_o mean_v that_o you_o see_v that_o you_o lose_v not_o your_o time_n if_o you_o be_v where_o you_o may_v improve_v your_o time_n for_o grace_n and_o get_v down_o sin_n i_o shall_v give_v you_o my_o consent_n for_o your_o stay_n with_o her_o brother_n upton_n canon_n of_o christ_n church_n but_o be_v sure_a you_o do_v not_o deceive_v yourself_o herein_o for_o god_n will_v not_o be_v mock_v he_o that_o do_v righteous_o and_o live_v to_o christ_n shall_v enjoy_v all_o the_o blessing_n promise_v by_o god_n to_o they_o that_o trust_v he_o and_o obey_v he_o i_o bless_v my_o god_n i_o have_v my_o health_n as_o well_o as_o i_o can_v wish_v and_o my_o heart_n run_v out_o whole_o to_o god_n in_o seek_v a_o blessing_n for_o child_n and_o child_n child_n o_o that_o i_o may_v prevail_v by_o prayer_n to_o see_v such_o hope_n of_o you_o all_o upon_o good_a ground_n as_o will_v be_v a_o gracious_a return_n to_o my_o prayer_n this_o be_v my_o work_n be_v not_o you_o want_v to_o yourselves_o your_o endeavour_n and_o prayer_n also_o be_v necessary_a who_o know_v but_o god_n will_v give_v you_o that_o one_o thing_n necessary_a which_o if_o you_o shall_v make_v it_o your_o chief_a choice_n shall_v never_o be_v take_v from_o you_o let_v the_o word_n of_o god_n dwell_v plentiful_o in_o you_o that_o it_o may_v be_v the_o rule_n of_o your_o life_n which_o be_v the_o prayer_n of_o your_o true_o love_v mother_n mary_n hanmer_n §_o 21._o in_o another_o 1657._o thus_o i_o know_v not_o why_o you_o shall_v write_v in_o tear_n because_o of_o a_o apprehension_n of_o my_o displeasure_n and_o that_o you_o can_v see_v it_o at_o so_o great_a a_o distance_n be_v strange_a to_o i_o if_o your_o information_n be_v of_o god_n to_o who_o you_o appeal_v look_v to_o it_o if_o of_o man_n believe_v it_o not_o many_o false_a fear_n may_v arise_v for_o want_v of_o the_o true_a fear_n of_o offend_v a_o good_a and_o gracious_a god_n all_o your_o fear_n and_o all_o your_o joy_n must_v be_v found_v in_o he_o or_o else_o your_o life_n here_o will_v be_v very_o uncomfortable_a have_v not_o i_o my_o comfort_n from_o my_o god_n and_o not_o only_o in_o the_o creature_n i_o have_v sink_v long_o since_o and_o often_o in_o despair_n take_v my_o experience_n or_o rather_o hear_v the_o word_n of_o god_n which_o say_v it_o be_v better_a to_o trust_v in_o god_n than_o to_o put_v confidence_n in_o riches_n it_o be_v better_a to_o trust_v in_o god_n than_o to_o put_v confidence_n in_o man_n be_v well_o acquaint_v with_o the_o will_n of_o god_n and_o be_v sure_a in_o all_o thing_n to_o please_v he_o and_o then_o all_o other_o care_n and_o fear_n will_v be_v of_o no_o value_n to_o you_o o_o let_v it_o be_v
duty_n for_o they_o beside_o the_o time_n and_o perhaps_o care_v thought_n that_o all_o his_o family_n expense_n and_o affair_n will_v require_v and_o then_o it_o will_v disquiet_v a_o man_n mind_n to_o think_v that_o he_o must_v neglect_v his_o family_n or_o his_o flock_n and_o have_v undertake_v more_o than_o he_o can_v do_v my_o conscience_n have_v force_v i_o many_o time_n to_o omit_v secret_a prayer_n with_o my_o wife_n when_o she_o desire_v it_o for_o want_v of_o time_n not_o dare_v to_o omit_v far_o great_a work_n 2._o and_o a_o minister_n can_v scarce_o look_v to_o win_v much_o on_o his_o flock_n if_o he_o be_v not_o able_a to_o oblige_v they_o by_o gift_n of_o charity_n and_o liberality_n and_o a_o marry_a man_n have_v seldom_o any_o thing_n to_o spare_v especial_o if_o he_o have_v child_n that_o must_v be_v provide_v for_o all_o will_v seem_v too_o little_a for_o they_o or_o if_o he_o have_v none_o housekeep_v be_v chargeable_a when_o a_o single_a man_n may_v have_v entertainment_n at_o easy_a rate_n and_o most_o woman_n be_v weak_a and_o apt_a to_o live_v in_o fear_n of_o want_n if_o not_o in_o covetousness_n and_o have_v many_o want_v real_a or_o fancy_v of_o their_o own_o to_o be_v supply_v 3._o in_o a_o word_n st._n paul_n own_o word_n be_v plain_a to_o other_o but_o concern_v minister_n much_o more_o than_o other_o man_n 1_o cor._n 7._o 7_o etc._n etc._n i_o will_v that_o all_o man_n be_v as_o i_o myself_o it_o be_v good_a for_o they_o they_o abide_v even_o as_o i_o 28._o such_o shall_v have_v trouble_n in_o the_o flesh_n 32._o i_o will_v have_v you_o without_o carefulness_n he_o that_o be_v unmarried_a care_v for_o the_o thing_n that_o belong_v to_o the_o lord_n how_o he_o may_v please_v the_o lord_n but_o he_o that_o be_v marry_v care_v for_o the_o thing_n of_o the_o world_n how_o he_o may_v please_v his_o wife_n this_o be_v true_a and_o believe_v it_o both_o care_v for_o the_o thing_n of_o the_o world_n and_o care_v to_o please_v one_o another_o be_v business_n and_o troublesome_a business_n care_v for_o house-rent_n for_o child_n for_o servant_n wage_n for_o food_n and_o raiment_n but_o above_o all_o for_o debt_n be_v very_o troublesome_a thing_n and_o if_o care_v choke_v the_o word_n in_o hearer_n they_o will_v be_v very_o unfit_a for_o the_o mind_n of_o a_o student_n and_o a_o man_n that_o shall_v still_o dwell_v on_o holy_a thing_n and_o the_o please_a of_o a_o wife_n be_v usual_o no_o easy_a task_n there_o be_v a_o unsuitableness_n in_o the_o best_a and_o wise_a and_o like_a face_n be_v not_o so_o unlike_a as_o the_o apprehension_n of_o the_o mind_n they_o that_o agree_v in_o religion_n in_o love_n and_o interest_n yet_o may_v have_v daily_o different_a apprehension_n about_o occasional_a occurrence_n person_n thing_n word_n etc._n etc._n that_o will_v seem_v the_o best_a way_n to_o one_o that_o seem_v worst_a to_o the_o other_o and_o passion_n be_v apt_a to_o succeed_v and_o serve_v these_o difference_n very_o good_a people_n be_v very_o hard_a to_o be_v please_v my_o own_o dear_a wife_n have_v high_a desire_n of_o my_o do_v and_o speak_v better_o than_o i_o do_v but_o my_o badness_n make_v it_o hard_o to_o i_o to_o do_v better_o but_o this_o be_v my_o benefit_n for_o it_o be_v but_o to_o put_v i_o on_o to_o be_v better_a as_o god_n himself_o will_v be_v please_v that_o its_o hard_a to_o please_v god_n and_o holy_a person_n be_v only_o our_o fault_n but_o there_o be_v too_o many_o that_o will_v not_o be_v please_v unless_o you_o will_v contribute_v to_o their_o sin_n their_o pride_n their_o wastfulness_n their_o superfluity_n and_o childish_a fancy_n their_o covetousness_n and_o passion_n and_o too_o many_o who_o have_v such_o passion_n that_o it_o require_v great_a skill_n to_o please_v they_o than_o almost_o any_o the_o wise_a can_v attain_v and_o the_o discontent_n and_o displeasure_n of_o one_o that_o be_v so_o near_o you_o will_v be_v as_o thorn_n or_o nettle_n in_o your_o bed_n and_o paul_n conclude_v to_o be_v un-married_n be_v the_o better_a that_o we_o may_v attend_v the_o lord_n without_o distraction_n v._o 35_o 38._o and_o what_o need_v we_o more_o than_o christ_n own_o word_n mat._n 19_o 10_o 11_o 12._o when_o they_o say_v then_o it_o be_v not_o good_a to_o marry_v he_o answer_v all_o man_n can_v receive_v this_o say_n save_v they_o to_o who_o it_o be_v give_v for_o there_o be_v some_o eunuch_n who_o be_v so_o bear_v from_o their_o mother_n womb_n and_o there_o be_v some_o eunuch_n who_o be_v make_v eunuch_n by_o man_n and_o there_o be_v eunuch_n which_o have_v make_v themselves_o eunuch_n for_o the_o kingdom_n of_o heaven_n sake_n he_o that_o be_v able_a to_o receive_v it_o let_v he_o receive_v it_o oh_o how_o many_o sad_a and_o careful_a hour_n may_v many_o a_o minister_n have_v prevent_v and_o how_o much_o more_o good_a may_v he_o have_v do_v if_o be_v under_o no_o necessity_n he_o have_v be_v soon_o wise_a in_o this_o §_o 18._o another_o use_n of_o this_o history_n be_v to_o show_v man_n that_o it_o be_v not_o god_n or_o our_o enemy_n afflict_v we_o in_o worldly_a loss_n or_o suffering_n especial_o when_o we_o suffer_v for_o righteousness_n sake_n which_o be_v half_a so_o painful_a as_o our_o own_o inward_a infirmity_n a_o man_n spirit_n can_v bear_v his_o infirmity_n of_o outward_a cross_n but_o a_o wound_a spirit_n who_o can_v bear_v my_o poor_a wife_n make_v nothing_o of_o prison_n distraining_n reproach_n and_o such_o cross_n but_o her_o burden_n be_v most_o inward_a from_o her_o own_o tenderness_n and_o next_o from_o those_o who_o she_o overloved_n and_o for_o my_o own_o part_n all_o that_o ever_o either_o enemy_n or_o friend_n have_v do_v against_o i_o be_v but_o as_o a_o flea-biting_n to_o i_o in_o comparison_n of_o the_o daily_a burden_n of_o a_o pain_a body_n and_o the_o weakness_n of_o my_o soul_n in_o faith_n hope_n love_n and_o heavenly_a desire_n and_o delight_n §_o 19_o and_o here_o you_o may_v see_v how_o necessary_a patience_n be_v and_o to_o have_v a_o mind_n fortify_v beforehand_o against_o all_o sort_n of_o suffering_n that_o in_o our_o patience_n we_o may_v possess_v our_o soul_n and_o that_o the_o dear_a friend_n must_v expect_v to_o find_v much_o in_o one_o another_o that_o must_v be_v bear_v with_o and_o exercise_v our_o patience_n we_o be_v all_o imperfect_a it_o have_v make_v i_o many_o a_o time_n wonder_v at_o the_o prelate_n that_o can_v think_v it_o the_o way_n to_o the_o concord_n of_o million_o to_o force_v they_o to_o consent_v to_o all_o their_o imposition_n even_o of_o word_n and_o promise_n and_o ceremony_n and_o that_o in_o thing_n where_o conscience_n must_v be_v most_o cautelous_a whereas_o even_o husband_n and_o wife_n master_n and_o servant_n have_v almost_o daily_a difference_n in_o judge_v of_o their_o common_a affair_n §_o 20._o and_o by_o this_o history_n you_o may_v see_v how_o little_a cause_n we_o have_v to_o be_v over-serious_a about_o any_o worldly_a matter_n and_o to_o mind_n and_o do_v they_o with_o too_o much_o intenseness_n of_o affection_n and_o how_o necessary_a it_o be_v to_o possess_v they_o as_o if_o we_o possess_v they_o not_o see_v the_o time_n be_v short_a and_o the_o fashion_n of_o this_o world_n pass_v away_o and_o how_o reasonable_a it_o be_v that_o if_o we_o love_v god_n ourselves_o yea_o or_o our_o friend_n that_o we_o shall_v long_o to_o be_v with_o christ_n where_o they_o be_v far_o more_o amiable_a than_o here_o and_o where_o in_o the_o city_n of_o god_n the_o jerusalem_n above_o we_o shall_v delightful_o dwell_v with_o they_o for_o ever_o whereas_o here_o we_o be_v still_o sure_a to_o stay_v with_o they_o but_o a_o little_a while_n and_o have_v we_o here_o know_v christ_n after_o the_o flesh_n we_o shall_v so_o know_v he_o no_o more_o whereas_o believe_v that_o we_o shall_v soon_o be_v with_o he_o even_o those_o that_o never_o see_v he_o may_v rejoice_v with_o joy_n unspeakable_a and_o full_a of_o glory_n §_o 21._o last_o here_o you_o may_v see_v that_o as_o god_n servant_n have_v not_o their_o portion_n or_o good_a thing_n in_o this_o life_n so_o they_o may_v have_v the_o same_o sickness_n and_o manner_n of_o death_n as_o other_o lazarus_n may_v lie_v and_o die_v in_o his_o sore_n among_o the_o dog_n at_o the_o door_n when_o dives_n may_v have_v a_o pompous_a life_n and_o funeral_n there_o be_v no_o judge_v of_o a_o man_n sincerity_n or_o of_o his_o future_a state_n by_o his_o disease_n or_o by_o his_o disease_a deathbed_n word_n he_o that_o live_v to_o god_n shall_v die_v safe_o into_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n though_o a_o fever_n or_o deliration_n hinder_v he_o from_o know_v this_o till_o experience_n and_o sudden_a possession_n of_o heaven_n convince_v he_o bless_a be_v the_o dead_a that_o die_v in_o the_o lord_n from_o henceforth_o yea_o say_v the_o spirit_n that_o they_o may_v rest_v from_o their_o labour_n and_o their_o work_n do_v follow_v they_o rev._n 14._o 13._o therefore_o in_o our_o great_a strait_n and_o suffering_n let_v we_o comfort_v one_o another_o with_o these_o word_n that_o we_o shall_v for_o ever_o be_v with_o the_o lord_n have_v i_o be_v to_o possess_v the_o company_n of_o my_o friend_n in_o this_o life_n only_o how_o short_a will_v out_o comfortable_a converse_n have_v be_v but_o now_o i_o shall_v live_v with_o they_o in_o the_o heavenly_a city_n of_o god_n for_o ever_o and_o they_o be_v there_o of_o the_o same_o mind_n with_o my_o forgive_a god_n and_o saviour_n will_v forgive_v all_o my_o fail_n neglect_v and_o injury_n as_o god_n forgive_v they_o and_o i_o the_o lord_n give_v and_o the_o lord_n have_v take_v away_o and_o he_o have_v take_v away_o but_o that_o upon_o my_o desert_n which_o he_o have_v give_v i_o undeserved_o near_o nineteen_o year_n bless_a be_v the_o name_n of_o the_o lord_n i_o be_o wait_v to_o be_v next_o the_o door_n be_v open_a death_n will_v quick_o draw_v the_o veil_n and_o make_v we_o see_v how_o near_o we_o be_v to_o god_n and_o one_o another_o and_o do_v not_o sufficient_o know_v it_o farewell_o vain_a world_n and_o welcome_a true_a everlasting_a life_n finis_fw-la